#vanja thinks she's funny

[mwuuh]

[asexualbookbird]

SPOOKY SEASON IS UPON US!

I crafted a lot this month, but can't share it yet so there's not too much to report here. Been watching a lot of Dropout and having fun with that. My tv started smelling like burning plastic so I'm out a Large Screen for things. Days are getting shorter and I'm walking at night, but have to change that because it's not even the end of DST and I already miss the sun. Got halfway through Swordtember before dropping it for more exciting projects. Doodles a lot of clouds. I don't know! Days went by and here I am!

Network Effect by Martha Wells ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - A reread to prepare myself for System Collapse. Still an emotional banger. I am normal about our favorite SecUnit and Asshole Research Transport. So incredibly normal.

When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sascha Lamb ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - YOU ARE THE FRIEND TO MY SOUL!!!! I want to reread this again and again, it's an absolute DELIGHT. The narrator was great and I'm glad I did the audiobook because hearing all the yiddish healed my soul in some way. Gay in every sense of the word.

The Hourglass Throne by KD Edwards ⭐⭐⭐⭐- My big hangup on this is the integration of COVID. You're telling me you found a magical cure for a disease that has killed and disabled millions and you're leaving it up to the non Atlanteans to figure things out on their own? Other than that, it was fun and emotional as I've come to expect from this series. Excited to learn it's not a trilogy and there are way more books planned to come.

Painted Devils by Margaret Owen ⭐⭐⭐ - Fun, but ultimately a disappointment coming off of Little Thieves. Way more focused on Vanja and Emeric's relationship, which is Fine, but took away from the things I liked about LT (heists! Mischief! Mayhem!) Not thrilled that everything came back to Vanja in the end, and something rubbed me wrong about how Big Happy Family they were immediately. Not to mention the guy everyone hates is RIGHT. Stop and think WHY this creature wants your blood! Don't give it freely! Will still read Holy Terrors because of course I am.

When Among Crows by Veronica Roth ⭐⭐⭐ - I was lovingly bullied into reading this because Roth isn't my favorite author but it's been long enough since Allegiant that I gave it a chance anyway. I'd rather just replay The Witcher. Not to say All Polish Folklore Is The Same, but this was so. Empty feeling. Three stars for the monsters, but that's all from folklore. There's no original world building here. Also funny she still made it about Chicago. I'm not complaining, I really do think that's funny.

System Collapse by Martha Wells ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- THE SYSTEM SURE HAS COLLAPSED! I want to tell SecUnit I'm proud of it, but I can't because it's not ready to hear it. The one downside is I'm once again out of new Murderbot to read. Emotional, as always. Sarcastic, as it knows no other way to be.

October, my love. I had plans to do Drawtober, but I'm not really feelings it so I'll do other things. I have crafts to work on, and a stack of books to read. I'm coming to terms with the fact I will not be completing my 24 books in 2024 list, which is mine own fault for not really focusing on it until uh. Now. But Whatever! I'm vibing! Happy fall! Let's get spooky!

[pennysperfectpolls]

Preliminaries round 2 match 13

Pennsylvania (United States of America) vs

Penny (Stardew Valley) vs

Vanja Schmidt/ Red Penny Thief (Little Thieves) vs

Penelope “Penny”Sanchez (ChalkZone)

Only two may move on

Propaganda under the cut

Pennsylvania (United States of America)

• sorry I just think this would be funny. I’m mostly submitting this for the bit so totally no pressure to include it

• #1 Penny in my heart

• i’m not even american

Penny (Stardew Valley)

• SHE'S SHY AND GOOD WITH KIDS AND LOVES BOOKS AND IS SO FULL OF LOVE. I WISH SHE WAS REAL.

• My wife <3

• Best girl

Vanja Schmidt/ Red Penny Thief (Little Thieves)

• ok so this probably seems like a joke submission but Vanja is the red penny thief! She steals rich peoples jewels and leaves worthless coins in their place

Pollrunner note: I had never heard of them before and now I love her

Penelope “Penny”Sanchez (ChalkZone)

• She's smart and hasn't revealed to the world that her friend discovered a realm based on chalk.

• I have a memory from childhood where my mom was pregnant with my sister and I suggested the name Penny because of this character and then got embarrassed and hid under the table

[iliveinyourceiling65]

Little Thieves incorrect quotes

Part one :)

Vanja: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look.

Emeric: You often use humor to deflect trauma Vanja: Thank you Emeric: I didn't say that was a good thing Vanja: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Vanja: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Ragne: You and me!!! Vanja, tearing up: Okay.

Vanja: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Gisele: *Out of breath* SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS.

Vanja: Hey, Ragne? Can I get some dating advice? Ragne: Just because I’m with Gisele doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

Vanja: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Emeric, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Vanja: Vanja: fsh

Emeric: We need a distraction. Vanja: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Ragne, whispering: My time has come

Vanja : Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

[adhd-pixie-nightmare-girl]

Little Thieves Trilogy + Tumblr Text Posts

Vanja to Emeric at the end of Little Thieves: Do you want to hang out tonight? my curse was finally lifted

Vanja after being attacked by a nachtmahr in her sleep: what a great nap, i feel totally disoriented and i'm frothing with hate

Joniza to Vanja: Everyone's doomed by the narrative bitch let's get you fruit

Vanja to Emeric: If you want to date me you have to defeat my 7 evil attempts to push you away and sabotage the relationship

Joniza: if you can't beat them dress better than them

Vanja thinking about Emeric in the middle of Little Thieves: being kissed wouldn't fix me but it would be nice

Emeric: slut era: laying in bed at 9pm on a Saturday night

Emeric to Vanja when she's talking about how she's a criminal and "a bad person": this is just my unprofessional opinion, but fuck all that shit

Vanja to her friends: ive been wanting to get into living what do you guys recommend for a beginner

Ragne being told to "take care of" Emeric: "im on it boss" <-- guy who's about to fuck it all up

Emeric to Vanja: you think you're sooooo funny. well you are. let me kiss you

Proctor Kirkling: character whose villain origin story is having a job

Vanja & Emeric: [slowly raises hand] yeah so, does making out with the enemy count as "fraternizing" or

Gisele to Vanja about the identity theft: I'll get over it i just gotta be dramatic first

[findingnemosworld]

𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 - 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬

・𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬

( 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐨 𝐑𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐨/𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬/𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫? )

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐨, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨, 𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐟���𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞'𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬!! 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 …

The whistle had blown, the match was over and Real Madrid were crowned the 2019/2020 La Liga champions, the players gathered around in pure joy while their significant others and families were cheering them on from the stands, and during the celebrations - each player made his way to his family to celebrate, Sergio being the first to walk over to his wife and two sons to greet them; " We're so proud of you amor " she smiled tearfully.

" Gracias, I'm grateful that you were here to witness it " He states with a broad smile.

Soon enough they were joined by the Modric family, Vanja greets her with an embrace, followed by Luka while their children were playing together on the pitch - while the two women were conversing together, Luka and Sergio joined the children in a friendly bout of football which caught Vanja's attention as she noticed her husband doting on Luka and Vanja's youngest daughter Sofia. " Aw, look " Vanja states with a smile.

It was definitely a sight, the young girl would playfully push the ball towards Sergio while Luka stood behind her, Sergio would respond by making funny faces then pushing the ball, Vanja nudges her and says with a teasing smile, " You know ... I think he might one of his own "

" I don't think so ... " She giggles before her eyes widen, " Do you think he so? "

" Sweetheart, you have two adorable boys but trust me, as much as men claim that they're content with the children they have which it is true, having a daughter changes him entirely, look at Luka ... he's like a whole other person when it comes to Ema and Sofia, so maybe if you guys talk this out, you'll see what I mean " Vanja smiled.

She watched the sight and was admittedly touched by the way Sergio was so gentle with baby Sofia, both she and Vanja approached them, and it was then that Sergio looked up to his wife and said. " Sofia, look who's here " he cooed to which the baby giggled in response and reached over to his wife. " Lukita, I'm sorry to say this but it looks like she likes us more "

Luka chuckles, " That means you better get your own hermano "

The couple had returned home later on with their boys fast asleep, they decided to each take a glass of wine and sit outside in their balcony, Sergio held his wife in his arms while they looked up at the stars in complete silence which didn't last long as Sergio said, " Let's have another baby "

She looks at him, " Is this coming out because you spent time with baby Sofia? " she giggles.

He smiles, " No, it's been on my mind for the longest time " he adjusts his seating position and added, " I love our boys, and I'm happy with our lives but ... it wouldn't hurt to have another one, a little girl that'll look as beautiful as her mother "

She smiles, " Are you sure? "

" More than ever " He nods, " I love you baby, and I'm ready for the wild ride, as long as I can do it with you "

She shuffles closer, placing her wine glass on the table before she climbed on top of his lap to give him the sweetest kiss. " I adore you, and if this is truly what you want then I'm right with you baby "

" I love you so much amor " He smiles.

" I love you too " She smiles back.

" When should we start? " He asks with a teasing smile.

" My parents are taking the boys tomorrow, so? " She grins.

" In this case, we might need to escape for a few days " He smirks.

" Sounds good to me " She smiles.

[wags-confessions]

Hi! Here with some info on Vlahovic's grilfriend Vanja. Because I saw that talk about she sending quest abot her on Tumblr.

There is a tik-tok profile called tvrdoglavjesam (it means I'm stubborn for everyone who want s to now) and that profile started to be active in the begging of december wwith edits like "Dušan Vlahović's ex gf Vanja" and etc. Here's the funny thing, allegedly Vanja and Dušan made up in begging of december. Some of the pics are from the brands she worked for, but there are also the ones that are obviously private and can be found unless you follow her or her friends who have locked accounts.

This summer there was an artical about them making up on Ibiza (we all know that wasn't true and that she was at Mallorca) with the artical saying there families now, they are childhood friends, and even saying that her mother wants her to be hers daughter in law. The nonsence is crazy , because Dušan is from a poor neighborhood in Zemun, and Vanja is from a Vračar neighborhood called Čubura were a lot of rich people live (doctors,actors, criminals,...)

She also paid for an article to promote her wearing a designer dress, and say that the same dress looks better on her than on one of our famous actresses. https://zadovoljna.nova.rs/moda-i-lepota/cuvena-nevaljala-haljina-jelisavete-orasanin-na-ovoj-devojci-izgleda-jos-bolje/

Designer deleted the post, because she deleted a lot of the post, but I think the pics can be found on facebook (Milica Opačić is the designer)

And now about Vanja and ger family: her father, Miloš Bogdanović was in part of Voždovac gang in the 90s (Balkans reading this know really well what this is). The gang of course doesn't exist anymore, but Miloš is still in criminal waters. He is a football managers, who, like many others, loves to have all the money for themselves. But he has the whole next level of it:

He is washing money thru his own son, Vuk. If you check his name and stats on Transfermarkt, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Her mom is one basically jobless women who seats in cafes and restaurants and goes to Athens whenever she's bored.

And now back to our main suspect her. Miss Vanja. She is known for switching men all the time, and of course, the sons of rich businessmans, or sones of a former Montenigran narco boss Zoran Ajković. Also some 30 year old footballers and more( if I continue you'll need couple of days to read this)

Last new year she went on St. Barts with Svetlana Dimitrić (ex wife of Duško Šarić) and her daughter. Svetlana is officially a hialuronic distributor, but unofficially an elite prostitue. She hangs a lot in a circle of these kind of people.

There are probably some things I forgot, but the main is here. Enjoy the tea

so it’s confirmed they’re together??? sorry i’m just so behind on who’s dating who 🫠 - arlene

[residentraccoon]

Top 5 fave acts from each country because idk what to do with my life now that esc is over. :') (2010 to 2021)

Montenegro

5. Vanja Radovanovic - Inje (2018)

He has a great voice, but I think it's a bit weak..still I appreciate the use of montenegrin and being a balkan ballad!!

4. Slavko Kalezic - Space (2017)

Disco helicopter braid guy!! Honestly, that performance was such a mESS and that braid was funny as fuck. His live vocals were a bit terrible but the studio version is always the best. 👌

3. Sergej Cetkovic - Moj svjiet (2014)

Balkan ballad!! So beautiful, but deserved a much better placing 😔

2. Who See - Igranka (2013)

So much chaos and honestly the show was just batshit crazy. I'm living for this kinda crazyness. She is also a mad great vocalist, the spacesuit guys are iconic, idk this performance was everything :))) pls Montenegro if you will ever return again come back with something like this 💖

1. Knez - Adio (2015)

Another balkan ballad, but I really love this. Ethnic, very catchy, Montenegro's best entry ever imo. I used to kinda dislike it when I first watched esc in 2015, but it grew on me when I got to listen to it again a few years later. 12 y/o me had no idea how amazing this song was 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[borisbubbles]

01. LITHUANIA

Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old” 12th place

After six, long arduous months, this ranking somehow outlived the entire Almaia relationship, and that alone should be reason enough to finish the ranking immediately, but the the upcoming ban of all nfsw stuff (/porn) from this website will also cause a homosexual exodus (homosexodus? 🤔), sooooo, definitely time to finish this ranking before I lose 85% of my current audience. 

Look, listen OKAY, just like how I naturally gravitate towards Lea Sirk’s sass and Elina’s pristineness and DoReDoS’s hilarious whateverthatwas, I was simply never *not* going to like a Lithuanian frumpy space princess and annointed HINDU with a voice more brittle than Theresa May’s position in the House of Commons, whose meditation rites include drinking a cup of boiling water (without the tea! just water) on a daily basis to *purify* her mind and soul. Okay the last MAY be an exaggeration on the behalf of the Flemish commentator (Peter Van de Veire is a known jokester), but then again, I can totally see Ieva telling this to random bystanders in her hotel lobby? Such oblivious, but well-meaning wackiness is just so Ieva SassyMouseKyte. 

Naturally, one MASSIVE part of my Ieva stanning is JUST her personality, which is both intensely kooky and disarmingly innocent, see above. Another example: Ieva serenly sliding off the stage during the semifinal, only to find the nearest camera and exclaim  ”I FELT THE PRESENCE OF *GODS* ON THE STAGE WHILE I WAS SINGING ^__^ I FEEL *ENLIGHTENED* 🤗🤗” llke she was Siddharta Gautama under the Bodhi tree <3 I am no a religious man but if Ieva said the stage was brightened with a non-descript Eastern Deity’s presence during the performance, who am I to refute it? 😁 

Gods or no gods, I will say that it took a *serious* amount of dharma to give us *the most unexpected gift* we’ve ever could’ve been granted, which is a COMPETENT EUROVISION ENTRY FOR LITHUANIA. In terms of Eurovision, Lithuania are amongst of the objective *worst* on a  terrifyingly consistent basis and here you have a fairly pleasant Ellie Goulding-inspired, frumpolicious Hindu cleric bringing a ballad about the inevitability of high medieval alliance pacts. Let’s Sing The Song That She Wrote:

Actually that’s selling the act a bit short, because for a brief moment, Ieva managed to transform her moment during the sheer INSANITY that was this year’s finale (well the sheer insanity streaked with horrifying, terrible, machinal dullness, not naming any names but *cough*austriaandaustralia*cough), into an oasis of *pure show-stopping sentiment* and that’s a powerful feat to accomplish for a Eurovision entry. Normally, you think such an entry would Blackbird itself into oblivion but as Ieva had prophetically declared, GOD WAS ON HER SIDE, AMEN, so nope, think again Christerifer Morningstar 😈

Speaking of, praise Hallellujah, Oh Glory and Mazzel-Motherfucking-Tov that Ieva qualified under the hilarity that is the current combined voting system (to those who still hate it, AISEL would’ve qualified under the old system despite being 12th in both jury and televote 🙃 Granted this would be funny if this had happened to Sennek or Ari or Eye Cue or basically anyone other than Aisel, but it didn’t so The Old System remains CANCELLED, s/n/s) because not only is Ieva an Elyon Goddess Moste High, and has the unique quality of being a Good Entry from Lithuania, “When We’re Old” is also... fucking awesome in itself?

 “When we’re old” is *not* your typical BorisBubbles fave on the surface (lol as if I can expect you to know what a typical Boris fave is after only two full rankings  on tumblr 😬), but it totally is? Ieva hits that personal sweet spot for me that I require from my faves: Quirky, but not overbearingly weird. Well-liked, but not liked *enough* to top every post-show list. Sentimental, but because her emotions are *real*, not because of some forced commercialized acting gig. (such as, um, fucking Rona Nishliu and her fake-as-fuck dry sobbing ugh die bitch! (k not literally, just musically, 5ever)). Also, this song makes me want to sing along like the soft ass fag that I am. “When Weeeeeeeeee’re OWLED Hooooooooooooooo!!!” All of this cements Ieva as a dark horse, an underdog and an eternal outsider and these are  the *specific*  type of entries that I started this blog for.   

I guess I should write a bit more, with more *sass and pizzazz*, but that’s basically my Ieva love in a nutshell! I think she’s an utter gem, both as a human and a Eurovision participant, “When We’re Old” *still* remains the only entry this year to give me *emotional attachment* in the form of shivers and near-tears and bad impromptu karaoke.  If you don’t think she’s all that, well that’s your loss, not sorry! She made the final through the good graces of Hare Krishna and did better than Jessi*can’t* and *No*lexander ! If I get a relationship, I want it be precisely like Ieva and her Hubbo’s. GET A LIFE!!

ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF EUROVISION 2018

Thank you for reading this ranking, it’s been a blast! See you on the 1st of April 2019 for the #TelAviv2019 preshow ranking. God bless you and shalom! 

EUROVISION 2018 - POST SHOW

01. Lithuania (Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old”) 02. Moldova (DoReDoS - “My Lucky Day”)

03. Estonia (Elina Nechayeva - “La Forza”)

04. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!”)

05. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - “Stones”)

06. Germany (Michael Schulte - “You let me walk alone”)

07. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - “Mall”)

08. France (Madame Monsieur - “Mercy”)

09. Hungary (AWS - “Viszlát nyár”)

10. Finland (Saara Aalto - “Monsters”)

11. Bulgaria (EQUINOX - “Bones”)

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente”)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We got love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Jozef - “Lie to me”)

HALL OF BORIS BUBBLES EUROVISION FAVES (1972-2018) 1972: the Netherlands (Sandra & Andres - “Als het om de liefde gaat”) 1973: United Kingdom (Cliff Richard - “Power to all our friends”) 1974: Sweden (ABBA - “Waterloo”) (ed: totally by default btw. Shit year.) 1975: Germany (Joy Fleming - “Ein Lied kann Eine Brücke Sein” )  1976: Luxembourg (Jürgen Marcus - “Chansons pour ceux qui s’aiment”) (😂) 1977: Belgium (Dream Express - “A million in 1-2-3″) (ed.: top five ESC year) 1978: Israel (Izhar Cohen & Alfabeta - “A Ba Ni Bi”) 1979: Germany (Dschinghis Khan - “Dschinghis Khan”) 1980: Luxembourg (Sofie & Magaly - “Papa Pingouïn”) 1981: Belgium - (Emly Starr - “Samson”) 1982: Germany - (Nicole - “Ein Bißchen Frieden”) 1983: Israel (Ofra Haza - “Hi”) 1984: Ireland (Linda Martin - “Terminal 3″) 1985: Turkey (MFÖ - “Didai, Didai, Dai”) 1986: Belgium (Sandra Kim - ”J’aime la vie”) (même si c’est une folie!) 1987: Belgium (Liliane St. Pierre - “Soldiers of Love”) (ed.: top Five esc entry) 1988: Switzerland (Céline Dion - “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi”) 1989: Denmark ( Birthe Kjær -  "Vi maler byen rød") 1990: Yugoslavia/Croatia (Tajci - “Hajde, da ludujemo) 1991: Sweden (Carola -  “ Fångad av en stormvind”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 1992: Denmark (Lotte Nilsson & Kenny Lübcke - “Allting som ingen ser”) 1993: the Netherlands (Ruth Jacott - “Vrede”) 1994: Germany (MeKaDo  - “Wir geben ‘ne Party”) 1995: Cyprus (Alexandros Panayi - “Sti fotia”) 1996:  Croatia (Maja Blagdan - “Sveta ljubav”) 1997: Poland (Anne-Marie Jopek - “Ale jestem”) (ed.: Top five ESC year) 1998: the Netherlands (Edsilia Rombley - “Hemel en aarde”) (I think???? lol 😬) 1999: Croatia (Doris Dragovic - “MARIJA MAGDALENAAAAAAA”) 2000: Latvia (Brainstorm - “My Star”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 2001: France (Natasha St. Pier - “Je n’ai que mon âme”) (but also, nobody) 2002: Spain (Rosa - “Yooropz leebin a selebrayshun”) (ed.: this trashfest <3) 2003: Germany (Lou - “Let’s get happy”) (and let’s be GAY!) 2004: Albania (Anjeza Shahini - “Image of you”) 2005: Romania (Luminita Anghel and Sistem - “Let me try”) (Ed.: top five year) 2006: Iceland (Silvia Night - “Congratulations”) (ed.: 2006 SF > 2006 GF 😬)   2007: Georgia (Sopho - “Visionary Dream”) (ed.: i have about 9 absofaves from this year though lol) 2008: Iceland (Euroband - “This is my life) 2009: Iceland (Yohanna - “Is it true?”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 2010: Albania (Juliana Pasha - “It’s all about you”) 2011: Germany (Lena - “Taken by a stranger) (ed.: top 5 entry, bottom 5 year >_<) 2012: Sweden (Loreen - “Euphoria”) (ed.: as with ABBA Loreen wins my ranking by default because this year is mostly rubbish.) 2013: Greece (Koza Mostra - “Alcohol is free”) (ed.: personal fave ESC year :)) 2014: Slovenia (Tinkara Kovac ft. Lea Sirk - “Round and round) (ed.: top five ESC year) 2015: Latvia (Aminata - “Love Injected”)  2016: Armenia (Iveta Mukuchyan - “LoveWave) 2017: Belgium (Blanche - “City Lights”) 2018: Lithuania (Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old”) (ooooohhhhhhhh)

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Eurovision 2018 Blue Carpet ceremony: Favourite moments

• “Everybody hates you?” • Always Watched Security-guys • The ‘corgi’ from Russia • Introduction to Rybak as Eurovision royalty • Netta the Little White Riding Hood • Ryan’s explanation why it’s “o-SHOCK-nessy” and not “o-SHAUN-nessy” • “Favourite Eurovision song?” “Sheni gulistvis” “We don’t know that one” • Yulia singing something from the Little Mermaid • Jessika’s and Basti’s ‘twerking’ skills • Ari, Lea and Almaia singing Amar Pelos Dois when asked to • Hosts asking Franka’s team to teach them how to “lo-o-o-ove”, Lea’s team the dance moves of her song, Benjamin the dance moves of his song, Laura how to hair flip, The Humans how to... hairflip too?, Marija from Eye Cue the dance moves of their song, Madame Monsieur the arm movement to their song • Hosts asking Alekseev to say a word in ‘Belarus’ (he said “hi” in Belarussian and the host thought it meant something like ‘good luck’), AWS what does “hello” in Hungarian mean (and it’s pronounced something like Sia or “see ya”), one of the African guys from the Dutch team a phrase on his own • Mikolas being called a naughty boy • Mikolas leaving the backpack intrigue for the very end of the blue carpet • Saara getting asked about the 2nd place curse again • Georgian guys singing a bit of their song • O Jardim in English and Nova Deca in Portuguese • Montenegrin stage team singing a chorus of Inje • Jon Ola Sand and some other key Portuguese people being interviewed • Kirkorov’s backstory as to how did he want to collaborate with DoReDos • DoReDos confirming that their name means the first two note names of the solfège (Do, Re) • Hosts constantly asking the participants from countries that never won the question: “your country has never won, so will it this year?” Most contestants: “yea I hope so”, Örs from AWS: “you know, we’re not here to win, we’re here to make a huge metal party” • “Pastei de nata is life” • Mikolas’s dancer dancing a bit and the hosts being like “now we know why you’re one of the favourites this year!” • The hosts bringing up the questions about the robots to Sammarinese team and later on asking them if they are going to do something special about the message thingy that one of the robots display (actually they’re looking for another message to display this Thursday, suggest them ideas at twitter.com/1in360talent) • The grande arrival of Metamoro • Ermal’s glasses • The awkward pause between the hosts and Fabrizio (who doesn’t really speak English that much) and his translator • Melovin... kind of • Eugent showing off his tattoos for yet another set of people after some interviewers got to see them before the blue carpet • Alekseev’s umpteenth “please support me” • The hosts remembering Eleni taking pics with uniformed men • That GoT joke directed towards Rasmussen • The hosts and Rasmussen singing “Livin’ on a Prayer” • Netta obviously wanting to win Eurovision • Netta actually bringing Doron Medalie (I think) along with her, and that one is her song’s songwriter who also co-wrote “Golden Boy” • The questionnaire between Alexander Rybak and that Eurovision fanboy from the blue carpet hosts • Mikolas’s bottle message being plainly made up from emojis • Ieva saying she drank Fanta and Sprite • The “would you rather” question Madame Monsieur got from the hosts. Remember, winning Eurovision would make the hosts divorce the two so you know who to pass your votes onto next week instead........................ yes ofc metamoro ;)))) • The hosts explaining Madame Monsieur that “merci” in Portuguese means “obrigado” and MM instead explains the actual meaning of the song • Aisel knows only one Portuguese word despite having Portuguese backing singers: “obrigado” • Yet another “obrigado” kwen: Lea Sirk, but she knows way more Portuguese phrases, including the one where she’s asking for gin and tonic • Stefan from ZiBBZ serving that beatbox realness yet again • Also him only knowing one phrase in Portuguese • The hosts bringing up that Michael from Germany and Waylon from The Netherlands are becoming fathers and Saara is getting married as well as Christabelle • Laura singing in Portuguese • Almaia singing all 3 entries sung by the past winners of Operacion Triunfo that went to Eurovision • The hosts mentioning to Saara that the last time Finland sent monsters, they won Eurovision • The hosts reminding Russian team of Russia’s past Eurovision successes • The hosts knowing Cesár’s Twitter account’s password that actually came true (as they said, he wrote in it that he will represent Austria in Eurovision 2018). Uh oh, now he’s gonna change it... • The hosts asking if Aisel taught the Portuguese backing singers how to melt the hearts of the Portuguese • Some of the message bottles were nice, and AWS’s wasn’t really trolly or anything, just that Lisbon is a city of many possibilities (I think) • Belgium’s talk was just mainly about liquor tasting and the creative process behind the song itself and how it indeed was about a broken teapot • Johnny Manuel reprising “I Have Nothing”, that song that made him a viral singer (that and AGT itself) • The Bulgarian backing singer being part of EQUINOX for this show only • Eleni being the only one wearing a dress in her team while the others wore orange costumes • The ridiculous clothing of DoReDos (and their ‘do - re - do’ harmonisation) • Bojan from EyeCue promising that next time they’ll do a song in 8 genres • Madame Monsieur eventually choosing that they’d rather still be together but get last place in Eurovision, because that way “they can bring another song next year” • The hosts telling Franka that Croatia hosted Eurovision once (well, current territory-wise, they aren’t off) • The hosts reminding Serbian entrants that they are one of two countries to win on their debut (actually Refrain was the second song in the show of that night so you can’t count Switzerland’s actual debut entry that performed earlier as a debut win for the nation...) • The hosts actually getting Sanja onto the shot eventhough he’s not gonna perform on Lisbon stage anyway • Something like “I don’t know what you have but we want to have what you have”, that I think it means “I don’t know what you’re on but I want some too”, yeah the hosts actually said that once • That one shot with girls in bikinis dancing on a boat • That one shot where Rasmussen and his backings were doing the ‘viking walk’ that they were doing on the DMGP stage and will do on Eurovision stage too • Iriao being really fond of Salvador’s victory and not being asked to sing Amar Pelos Dois but rather the hosts told others to check their cover out and that Salvador will likely love it • Yianna explaining her song concisely that it’s a dialogue between Greece and its people • Yianna answering that question about how she has to explain Eurovision to her American friends • The hosts keeping on mentioning some Portuguese word to EQUINOX that they know • Malta in Portuguese apparently means something like “guys”? • The hosts wanting Vanja to be a funny guy like he always is • Mahan Moin saying “hi” or something like that • Isaura mentioning that her grandmother died last year... so “viszlát” which season of the four now? • “We wanted to speak in Portuguese but we can’t”, that reminds me how last year the Ukrainian entrants only got away with speaking in mothertongue because they WERE from that country • Waylon having to defend country in Eurovision and being one of those peope saying that all kinds of genres are welcome in Eurovision. We love us some holy trinity action of defending the genres that require some attention in eurovision because they’re not pop, electro or ballad. Just like AWS saying that “metal is equal” and Eugent saying that “rock is a sparkle in Eurovision” • The hosts bringing up this to Michael that he asked people to send him in picture with their fathers • Madame Monsieur (and Ari I think that was the second entrant) being told that it’s Mother’s Day today; for MM because it’s something about Mercy and for Ari because it felt like one of the hosts wanted to adopt him so she could say to him that it’s her boy... or smth idk • ZiBBZ being mentioned by Madame Monsieur as a couple that knows each other for longer than they do (10-11 years together) • ZiBBZ family being speculated as the one to be fun with the most • ZIBBZ being thought of as a couple(?) • Elina explaining her blue carpet dress, that it used a special knitting technique and what do the words stitched on the dress are, they were describing Estonia as “wild”, the second word and... “Nordic”. Yeah, keep dreaming SATW Estonia • For EQUINOX, being in this amazing team of themselves is already a victory (so maybe no need for an actual one, or is it?) • Jessica unsuccesfully reprising “Sea of Flags” • Albania: first to have chosen their song, first in the blue carpet, performing 3rd on Tuesday. Eugent was asked if he could be the first person to bring Albania a victory and he answered that he’ll just try his best (completely, not just to win) • One of the hostesses apologizing for touching Soma • “matchy-matchy” • The hosts refering to themselves as The Carpe(n)ters • The hosts being sad because they had to split apart • The hosts starting the blue carpet with “let the opening ceremony begin!” • The hosts introducing the actual Eurovision hosts • The way they pronounced the names of their people correctly • One of the Eurovision host’s dad is a doctor • Usually the karaoke playback of each entry would begin within the first chorus and loop from that place if the interview is going on for longer, but for AWS it was just almost 3 minutes of their song playing in full (and I’m assuming the “Viszlát” shout they did by the end of their time kind of halted the playback a little) • Other pronunciations made by the hosts like Michal Shooter, the almost correct one of Eugent’s name, them pronouncing “j” as “zh” in Julia, Maikolas Josef and Ieva Zashimauskaite • One shot of Iriao signing the Eurovision guidebook on the page with their info on to some journalist perhaps • Franka’s backing team describing her in one word, two of them came up with “amazing” and another one sang out the word “crazy” • “Europe’s living a shell-ebration” • Lea and Ieva naming their Eurovision 2018 favourite entries (Ieva first heard the Spanish entry and liked it, among few Lea liked was The Netherlands) • Most acts being asked about their postcards. Macedonian tiles, Aisel on air baloon, Michael gliding iirc, AWS going to chocolate festival and making a Eurovision logo of it (oh no, Takasa teas!!1), SuRie drinking Portuguese tea when being British, Waylon having pastei de nata for his postcard, Alekseev visiting some place, Saara being a bad golfer and so on • Elina Nechayeva being reminded of Pocahontas • Mikolas admitting he always sucked (at something that I can’t remember) • Eleni just sharing what she wants on her social media • Cesár being “hungry” (for more Eurovision experience) • Franka and Christabelle being asked to sing their past NF entries (and only the latter one did it) • It’s already Franka’s year to her herself • Some finishing line directed to the Cypriot team before moving on to Czech Republic that I can’t remember • Eleni inserting her bottle message to the mysterious wheel (it’s in the way she does it) • Netta clucking properly after the hosts being unable to cluck out the word Pikachu • Laura telling the story of coming to Eurovision this year • Örs pretending to have a security call because, you know, he's a security guy • Ermal telling the story of how he met Fabrizio in last year's Sanremo • Laura bringing up that she was born in Ipanema. “Oh so you’re The Girl from Ipanema!” • Alekseev not drowning • Melovin being asked about the message Verka Serdiuchka made him and his own perfume (one of the smell ingredients is chocolate iirc) • Alexander fangirling over Salvador again • #BraveLoveFreedom (such a Gaga slogan tbh) • Filipp Kirkorov repeating after the host to make sure his/her friend gets lucky in the lottery • #feelthefuego • And of course, the opening to the party, with dancers in extravagantic costumes spinning in huge see-through beach balls, using that as a way to walk through the carpet

shit I just spoiled the entire evening to you didn’t I

[irkimatsu]

All right, all right, let's do this... Eurovision rankings! Well, not so much a ranking because I'm putting them in alphabetical order by country, but little blurbs about how I feel about each song after looping the playlist for a couple of weeks, and what category I'm going to place them in. As a refresher:

Love: Top five. My absolute favorite songs, and the ones I'll do anything to see win or at least perform well. Caps and italic for my special, number one love.

Like: Didn't quite make it to the top five, but I still like it a lot! I'll probably keep it even after the Contest is over.

Okay: I can see its merit, and maybe I like an element or two of it, but overall, it just doesn't click with me and I won't miss it if it fails the semi. I’ll get it if it does make it, though.

Indifferent: I just can't bring myself to give a shit about it, and I really don't want to see it in the semi, especially not at the expense of a Loved song. Not so annoying that I can't stand to listen to it, but it doesn't bring me any joy, either.

Surprisingly, three categories won't be used this time - I can finally retire "bias" because there's no goofy/boring songs that I only like because they remind me of fandom; there aren't any songs that I feel make my life worse, so "hate" won't be used (good, after I embarrassed myself last year by putting the eventual winner there); and while there is a song for the "what" category, there always is in Eurovision... well... you'll see.

Okay, let's roll!

Albania: "Mall" by Eugent Bushpepa - Sorry, not feeling it. Indifferent.

Armenia: "Qami" by Sevak Khanagyan - I can tell he's trying, but like the above, this just isn't my thing and I'm not gonna linger on it. Indifferent.

Austria: "Nobody But You" by Cesar Sampson - Meh. There's worse, but there's better. I like the chorus well enough, mainly the way it bursts, but by the time it comes up, I'm bored. I'll say Okay for that.

Australia: "We Got Love" by Jessica Mauboy - After two years of not giving a shit about Australia and not understanding why they're still here, they've won me over again! I like cute, upbeat things like this. Like!

Azerbaijan: "X My Heart" by Aisel - It's cute enough! I don't think it stands out super well, but it still has a certain charm to it. Let's say Okay.

Belarus: "Forever" by Alekseev - Eh, it grew on me. I like synths, what can I say. Like. Maybe on the lower end of Like, since it does get outshone by a lot of other stuff I enjoy, but I don't feel right putting it in Okay, either.

Belgium: "A Matter Of Time" by Sennek - Reminds me of a Bond song. Sometimes I'm in the mood for that, so it's good for then, but "Rise Like A Phoenix" did it way better. Okay, because I'm feeling generous.

Bulgaria: "Bones" by Equinox - A little on the mellow side, but it has a calming effect I do enjoy. There's just better electronica out there, is all. Okay.

Croatia: "Crazy" by Franka - I do like the soulful element of it! It's not quite my thing, but I appreciate it for what it is, and if it has a major fanbase, I can understand why. Okay!

Cyprus: "Fuego" by Eleni Foureira - Something about this song hits me in all the right places. Fun as hell to walk to, fun as hell to sing along to, this one was a latecomer to my top five but now I can't make it leave. Love!

Czech Republic: "Lie To Me" Mikolas Josef - when I first heard this, I thought of it as a combination of "Don't" by Ed Sheeran, a song I like well enough when it's on the radio but never seek out on its own; and "Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo, a song I can't stand. So why, why did this climb my ranking so quickly? It's such a damn earworm! I love it so much, Love, Love, Love! I think my only real complaints is all the f-bombs - not because I'm sensitive to cursing, but because I'm wondering how he's going to handle that on stage... I found a stage performance where he just went quiet instead of replacing them, and it just sounds awkward...

Denmark: "Higher Ground" by Rasmussen - Oh, this is awesome. Vikings! I had a bit of a viking phase in high school... blame E-type. I just love how grand this sounds, and I'm looking forward to seeing it on stage! Like! (As an aside... Sannie of Whigfield was also in the qualifiers, and while normally I'd be morally obligated to cheer for a Eurodance darling... "Boys On Girls" sucks, even by my cheesy standards. No way did it deserve to win over this. No Dolly Style flavored bitterness here!)

Estonia: "La Forza" by Elina Nechayeva - On one hand, this may not be my type of music... but holy shit, for something that's not my type of music, it's put together well! I'm impressed! I'm gonna say Okay just because I can't see myself keeping it after the Contest, but I wouldn't fault anyone if it won. The woman can belt! It's impressive!

Finland: "Monsters" by Saara Aalto - I kept putting this on and off my top five due to another song it was rotating with, but it finally landed on and hasn't moved since! Of course it's written by the same team that brought us "Heroes" in 2015! It's just one of those songs where I feel the music so deeply, and I love the mental illness awareness (according to another site I read), and I just... yes, yes, go Finland. Love!

France: "Mercy" by Madame Monsieur - This wins the questionable honor of being one of those songs that I can never remember no matter how many times it comes up. There's nothing wrong with it, I just don't care. There's worse, but I'm still Indifferent to it.

Germany: "You Let Me Walk Alone" by Michael Schulte - ...oh. Oh dear. I feel like I should at least be kind to this song, since it's about his dead father... I appreciate that sentiment, I can see it doing well on that merit, it's probably more artistically valid than something like "Lie To Me"... but I don't like it! I can not make myself care about this! Indifferent! Sorry! Don't kill me!

Georgia: "For You" by Iriao - No. I can't even think of anything interesting to say about it. No. I'm sure it's culturally relevant, and that's very nice for it and Eurovision should always have those songs... but that doesn't stop them from boring me to tears. Indifferent.

Greece: "Oneiro Mou" by Gianna Terzi - I'll call it a low Okay because I like it more than, say, Georgia or Armenia, but it's a cold compliment. I just feel bad for typing Indifferent on most of the non-English ones and this is one I felt like being nice to. Um... I like the strings?

Hungary: "Viszlat Nyar" by AWS - Holy shit this goes hard. I'm fussy about my rock, but damn, this is really, really good! There, I'm saying really nice things about a non-English song! I'd love to see this in the final for a change of pace! Like!

Iceland: "Our Choice" by Ari Olafsson - This song bores the crap out of a friend of mine, and god, I understand why. There's nothing here. When she said her least favorite was Iceland, I couldn't even remember what Iceland sent, and when I looked it up... yeah, this isn't noteworthy at all. Except for that screech toward the end, but I wouldn't exactly call that a point in this song's favor. Indifferent.

Ireland: "Together" by Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Ugh, boring. Sorry, no thanks. This doesn't grab me at all; this type of music never has a chance with me. Indifferent.

Israel: "Toy" by Netta - I love you, chicken lady! By all rights, this song belongs firmly in "What", between the chicken noises and all the pop culture references... but god, from the first time I listened to it, I've been hooked! It was the second or third song I listened to, and I got so stuck on it that it took a while for me to move on! This is LOVE, no doubt, and while I'm extremely surprised that a lot of people seem to agree with me, I'm not disappointed! Go Israel! ...isn't there a rule against mentioning copyrighted stuff, though? I remember when they had to change a line in "Cheesecake" because it mentioned Google... I wonder what'll happen here...?

Italy: "Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente" by Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - I have a soft spot for how the Italian language sounds. Is it because I grew up with an Eiffel 65 CD as my first non-English album? Who knows! In any case, I like the vocal track on this a lot, and the music's no slouch, either, so for that, Like!

Latvia: "Funny Girl" by Laura Rizzotto - Oof, this one hurts. It's just so bitter and mournful... it gets what it needs done damn well, and I feel so bad for the narrator. Like, definitely. I like a good, angsty story.

Lithuania: "When We're Old" by Ieva Zasiauskaite - When I first listened to this song, I got hit by such a wave of feelings that I can't shake them even now. If those feelings were for a fictional character, I'd immediately pitch this into "bias", but since they're for a real person I love very, very much... it's a Like, even if I wouldn't say that about a song that sounds like this if the lyrics were about anything else. Leave me alone, I'm gay.

Macedonia: "Lost and Found" by Eye Cue - I like that tropical beat going on in the background, and the way it switches on and off. The whole song brings a smile to my face, and I'll give it a Like!

Malta: "Taboo" by Christabelle - It hits in all the right places, and what i mean when I call a song a builder. I love how it climbs at the minute point. Like!

Moldova: "My Lucky Day" by DoReDoS - I saw someone insult this song by saying it's no longer 2004, but to me, who grew up drenched in 2000′s Europop, that's a high compliment. Like "Toy", this one latched onto me the instant I first listened to it - maybe not quite as hard, but if "Toy" wasn't here, I'd have no complaints about making this my favorite. My... number one, so to speak! Love! (Also, anyone who has known me for more than 20 minutes and who has very basic Japanese knowledge would know why "number one" is one of my favorite compliments)

Montenegro: "Inje" by Vanja Radovanovic - Montenegro and I will never be friends. I've never, ever hoped for them to be in a final, they've always been either criminally bizarre or criminally boring... I just wish they stuck with being bizarre twice in a row. Sorry, Indifferent, this isn't my thing at all.

The Netherlands: "Outlaw In 'Em" by Waylon - If we had to have a country song this year, it could have have been far worse. It's another one that kinda grew on me for what it is. I get weirdly into it sometimes! You know what, I'll call this one a Like! I like it way better than predecessors like "Calm After The Storm" and "Slow Down", at any rate!

Norway: "That's How You Write A Song" by Alexander Rybak - Can I say something controversial here? I like this better than "Fairytale". Now, to make it clear, "Fairytale" is probably better, artistically - but I don't rank by art, I rank by fun, and while I do like "Fairytale" and believe it deserved the record it set, I have more fun with this one. It just barely missed my top five thanks to Finland, but I still really Like it, and I'm looking forward to how it does!

Poland: "Light Me Up" by Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - A fun little electronic thing! It's nothing spectacular, but I do really like the instrumental break. I'm feeling generous, let's call this one a Like.

Portugal: "O Jardim" by Claudia Pascoal - Portugal could stop competing in Eurovision and I wouldn't even notice. I'm serious - I'm constantly forgetting if they really did skip 2016 or if their song that year just made that little of an impression on me. This year hasn't changed a thing. Indifferent.

Romania: "Goodbye" by The Humans - This is one of those songs that I enjoy eventually, but it's annoying that it takes me half the song to get there, and I don't even find the latter half all that spectacular. It's just interesting enough to carry it up to Okay territory, and then it settles in there.

Russia: "I Won't Break" by Julia Samojlova - Congrats on actually getting to sing this time, Julia! Your song is... all right! It's Okay! Still proud of you for making it, though, even if I'm not overly excited about it!

San Marino: "Who We Are" by Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Oh this video is goofy. I love San Marino when they're goofy. It's no "Spirit Of The Night", but I don't think we're ever getting another "Spirit Of The Night", and the song's still fun. The rapping is hard to take seriously, but it adds a bit of cheesy flavor, and I do appreciate that. Firm Like!

Serbia: "Nova Deca" by Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - I have taken a full 90 seconds to think of anything to say about this, at which point the cool beat kicked in. I like the cool beat. Okay. I don’t like being mean to all the non-English ones, I gotta say something nice, all right?

Slovenia: "Hvala Ne" by Lea Sirk - This doesn't sound bad at all at first, but something about it gets old by the time it ends - it's like one catchy sound that wears its welcome quickly. Sometimes I get into it, sometimes I'm just not in the mood and I zone out. Okay.

Spain: "Tu Cancion" by Amaia & Alfred: Bored. Not as bored as when I listen to Portugal, but still bored. Indifferent.

Sweden: "Dance You Off" by Benjamin Ingrosso - Hello, low-rent Justin Timberlake! Okay, more like mid-rent? It's not like it's a bad song. Not the most fun "would fit in on American party radio" song ever in Eurovision, but it somehow clicks anyway. Probably a low Like, but a Like all the same!

Switzerland: "Stones" by ZiBBZ - It's not a major standout for me, but I can't say I dislike it, either. I can see why people like it! But I'm gonna say Okay, in a way that says more about its competition than the song itself. I far from hate it, but I can't quite put my finger on anything specific I love, either, so I'll put it there.

Ukraine: "Under The Ladder" by Melovin - It's a catchy one! I like how much life this one has to it. Like!

United Kingdom: Ah, hell, it's a cute one, so why not! I don't have much to say about it, but I think I Like it.

Songs in Like/Okay/Indifferent are capable of sliding into categories one above or below themselves, based on my generosity levels, mood, and, I dunno, my digestive status or something. My Loves are locked, though. No matter how politely Norway asks.

Looking forward to the show! And by that, I mean I'm looking forward to finding the results after I get home that Saturday!

[mwuuh]

[blamebrampton]

Eurovision 2018, Semi Final 2

I’m watching on replay and it’s getting late, so this is going to be as swift as possible. We open with a gorgeous montage and I really do feel like going to Lisboa after this week, were I not broke as a broke thing. The women are back and they look great. The NCIS one has come in an assassin’s cocktail dress, the saintly one is dressed like a tasteful wedding cake, the blonde has come over all black swan and the little one has picked up on last semi final’s sci fi villains theme and is cosplaying Servalan. They are doing nautical allusions again and I will continue to ignore them wherever possible. And also their jokes. They are lovely people, but I am here for the singing. 

1. Norway, Alexander Rybak, That’s How You Write A Song. He’s back! With the air fiddle this time. In fact, a raft of air instruments that are animated in. Look, he’s still cute as a button and charismatic as a puppy, but this song is reminding me of Cliff Richard and that is not something I wish to be reminded of. It’s no Fairytale. ACTUAL violin has just appeared! About bloody time. He nearly transcends the song, but the song is well meh. Watch it win now. Backing dancers exist and are perfectly fine. Let’s move on.

2. Romania, The Humans, Goodbye. White dress, drink. No, it was a fakeout, the lead singer is wearing purple. She’s surrounded by band members in white with creepy white masks. And mannequins in in gimp suits, also with creepy white masks. I’ve got a real Bonnie Tyler vibe here, which is at least a step up from the last song. BIG power chords into the main body of the song. She’s exhorting the mannequins to live their best life and I cannot bear to break it to her. White dress girl is back, she’s the cellist and I respect a band with a cellist. BIG HERO NOTES! ooh, her purple frock has matching shorts. Nice. Song was OK, band was great.

3. Serbia, Sanja Ilic and Balkanika, Nova Deca. Pipes and wailing vocal intro and I am sold already. If I was up this morning, this would have had my vote. Soz, kids. Three girls wailing mystically with a man looming behind Rasputinly. Seriously, his whole outfit is mad monk. Big Taiko style drums with an enthusiastic man beating away — erm, on the drums — and now some dance beats to lift it. I have to say that I would love this on the club floor late at night when you want something a bit slower and trippier. The girls’ outfits are sort of earth goddess meets debutante. I’m not going to lie, I flipping loved this one.

4. San Marino, Jessika, featuring Jenifer Brening, Who We Are. Lead singer in a lacy red frock over undies. Two human girl dancers and a set of robot dancers. Look, Ive seen worse. Jenny B has just stonked out down the walkway rapping determinedly and it’s all … fine. It’s a perfectly fine song and there will be some young folks who love it. A robot is holding up body positivity messages, actually, the poor wee thing just dropped it, but now he’s holding hands with the singer. It’s a bit community centre talent night, but they’re enormously likeable and I wish them well.

5. Denmark, Rasmussen, Higher Ground. Sudden plunge into darkness. Faint mystic chord as of pipes over water. Dry smoke. Backlit bearded man standing on a ramp. Square sails and more bearded men. Yes, we have hit peak Viking for the night and there is chanting and stomping and more beard pomade than is probably safe in an environment with pyro. We’re singing about men laying down their swords and making their mark and it’s all very Scandirevival, but I have to confess I rather like it and they can all bloody well sing. I have a nose full of North Sea wind and my cheeks feel windbitten at the end of this song, Oh, look, a white flag of peace. Sure. Key change! Snorri Sturluson would love these guys. The boy Aussie commentator has just said they remind him of when Durmstrang walked into the Hall in Harry Potter and he is right on the money. Definitely a contender.

6. Russia, Julia Samoylova, I Won’t Break. Set design is from the cousin of whoever did Estonia, so it’s nice to have two iceberg singers in the one contest. Super dancers: ballet this time, with Russian technique, which is always lovely to see. Look, I disagree with her politics and her country, and the song’s another meh one, but I wish her well. Moving on.

7. Moldova, DoReDoS, My Lucky Day. They have brought a whole miniseries in the staging of this song. She’s seeing blue suit, but red suit behind his back. Now she and red suit are official, but blue suit is getting some on the side. Lots of comedy from the dancers in the background, who are working within a white box set. It’s silly, it’s saucy. it’s a lot of fun. It would absolutely be the theme song of a sex comedy from 1959 starring Sophia Loren.

8. The Netherlands, Waylon, Outlaw in ’Em. Steel string guitar, pulsing lights and wailing vocals. I’m sorry, I’m allergic to wailing dead dog country that uses gun metaphors, They’re very talented, just not my thing. I’m sure he’ll make a fortune in America and good luck to him.

Short presenter is down with the audience and why?

9. Australia, Jessica Mauboy, We’ve Got Love. Cards on the table, I love Jess. She is a super lovely person as well as a great singer. I don’t the song is quite as good as Dami’s Sound of Silence, but she can perform like a goddess. She is bringing her inner Beyonce with the hair and squats, and selling the lyrics, which are basically, ‘don’t give up, we’ve got love’ and look, sure, but this is a country that numbers Sia, Nick Cave and Kate Miller Heidke among its leading lyricists and I just feel we could have done better for our Jess. But she is putting it all out there, and getting the crowd in on side. The drapey bit on her minidress is a bit distracting, but who gives a proverbial, she’s a champ and she should definitely go through to the finals.No matter how absurd it is that we are there.

10. Georgia, Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao, For You. My first question is whether that is actually the group’s name or if they added a little descriptor for the booking agent once and it’s stuck. It matters not. Lovely quiet jazz piano opening, then classical vocals soaring over the top, dry ice already, and a chanting backing vocal that is somewhere between Gregorian monks and Il Divo, but entirely pleasant to listen to. The vocals are very tight and the arrangement intelligently spare and restrained in parts to show off the voices. I approve! There is a lot of eyebrow emoting, but I don’t mind that in a dark Eastern European man, it’s like queueing if you’re British or buying sausage sandwiches at hardware shops on weekends if you’re Australian. That was a good three minutes for me, I hope they get through!

11. Poland, Gromee, featuring Lucas Meijer, Light Me Up. They are wearing ridiculous hats. More Pharrel than Devo, but the sort of hat that will stand in for a personality when you’re young and nervous. Fair enough, some of them look about 14. Good performers, strong backing vocals and the sort of winning stage performance I would have loved the first 250 times I saw it. It’s not your fault I am old and jaded, Gromee, but I am. There is pyro, there is hand dancing, he is dancing with the audience, he is counting. It’s all fine. OK, bye.

12. Malta, Christabelle, Taboo. She is standing inside four big screens and now a heart is glowing against her black dress. People writhe on her screens and the world spins out from her hands. She is singing about the need to respect and support each other in a world that can be hard and cruel. I… I really like her. I’m not sure whether I also like the song or if I just find her so committed to it that I think I like it, but it doesn’t really matter. There’s a real dancer inside the screens now, and Christabelle loves us all. I love you too, Christabelle. I would totally invite you to my barbecue with Jess.

13. Hungary, AWS, Vislát Nyár. Going for the risky Lordi without masks vote, they drum their way in and then launch straight into rich, angry, headbanging lyrics that are upset about something but my knowledge of Finno-Ugric languages begins and ends with a song about little piggies. Another performance with sincerity rather than just polish, though, and that counts. CROWD SURFING GUITARIST! He’s been returned safely, bless you lovely Eurovision crowd. Angry shouting, epic pyro, lots of drumming. There we go.

14. Latvia, Laura Rizzotto, Funny Girl. Another red lace minidress, with a train this time. Actually, it’s more a shorts dress. A playsuit with train. She looks lovely whatever it is. Her song is apparently about a girl who just a wee bit of a stalker. You know you can tell a chap you like him and not just hang around waiting for him to notice you, yes? Some nice bits of tricky tempo and big hair singing. It’s not my cup of tea, but it is well brewed.

15. Sweden, Benjamin Ingrosso, Dance You Off. Brief moment to mention it is bloody freezing in Sydney tonight, for the first time in forever. This is another very polished performance from a skilled performer and it’s doing nothing for me. Might go and find a blanket for my wee toesies.

16. Montenegro, Vanja Radonovic, Inje. Man at piano, women in background, intense man in front, who is Vanja. He is upset. Possibly because some bastard has bedazzled the crap out of his suit. Nice vocals in the ballad, though. The girls are striding, the piano is staying still, which is as it should be. Ooh! The girls are playing statues. Nice. There is a lot of emoting, but the girls’ costumes and facial expressions make it a little unfortunately close to ‘help us, we have been enslaved by vampires and need you to stake us to free our souls’. Lighting and key change, but otherwise much as before. The girls are still suffering. It’s probably a complex retelling of current politics.

17. Slovenia, Lea Sirk, Helva, Nei. She has pink hair so I like her already. Backing dancers are muscular and fast, I like them, too. Do not bother any of these women or they will make you regret it almost immediately. Her frock is another curtain over undies number, but with more plastic than most others. Who can explain it, who can tell you why? Their music cuts out at one point and they get the audience to clap their beat and I am not certain that was real, but it was nicely handled. Confirmation that was a faux error on the music. Whatevs. As no-one says anymore.

18. Ukraine, Melovin, Under the Ladder. Before I hear a word, I learn he likes horses, David Bowie and Verka Serduchka, so we’re basically friends now. He opens the song in a crypt, which opens up in a cheerfully cheesy Hammer Horror way. He’s dressed like an old-school vampire and the crypt is really the inside of a giant piano at the top of a set of stairs. Clearly Dead or Alive were 30 years too early for this chap, but I am glad YouTube will let him experience them. As everyone guessed, he is back up the stairs to play the piano, soulfully. And now the stairs are on fire, and there’s random pyro everywhere. Of course there is. Vampires love fire. At least dress your backing singers as avenging villagers, who have finally arrived to free the girls from Montenegro.

And we are done! Voting is about to open. I am fast forwarding through this bit because life is too short. ESCLOPEDIA IS BACK! Hello bearded man! More clips from past songs, and an allegation that there is a link between Eurovision and fashion. That is A LIE. You know, Portugal, you’re no Sweden and the women are no Petra and Mans, but I respect that you have kept these interval bits short and cool.

I spoke too soon. Presenters are back with costume changes. NCIS is in a short blue cocktail dress, Blondie is in a pink line dancing dress, Saintly is wearing a costume from my Grade Two Tap exam and the little one is cosplaying Severus Snape. They are doing dance moves from Eurovisions past. The Little One is actually pretty funny, but you will have to download it as I am not up to describing that much physical comedy. There is a Riverdance moment. Which I believe is obligatory for every third Eurpovision.

They run through the acts again, and Denmark’s lead singer has brows you could crack nuts on. Walnuts. Not the other kind. Though he looks as though he would be against toxic masculinity, so perhaps that would also be OK.

Votes are closed. We are touring through Portugal. It is very lovely. The acts are ding the bits that have preceded every song and coming out through their doors and visiting locations and generally cocking a lot of it up, bless them. They look as though they are having fun.

Little presenter has just turned up at the Aussie table and is handing out pastéis de nata a la Oprah and Jess looks as though she is in heaven. Custard really is that good.

Saintly presenter is talking about Eurovision’s role in Portuguese politics! 1974, the year Sweden won with Waterloo, was the year that the Portuguese entry was chosen to be the signal for a revolution. It was played on the radio in the early morning as a signal to take to the streets and by the end of the day there were carnations in gun barrels.True story.

Black swan presenter has found British fans and I think they may have been on the drink, but they say lovely things about Portugal (and Jess), so well done, kids!

Bridal cake presenter is introducing the tracks from France, Germany and Italy and Little One is with them. The French performers are cute as, and sing last years’ winning song in French. Suck ups. But lovely voice. Ooh, NCIS has taken over with Germany. who looks a little like Josh Widdicombe. He’s doing a ukulele cover of Fly on the Wings of Love and I confess I liked it. The entry is nice, too. Look forward to the full version in the finals. And now it’s Little One again with Italy, who really look 100% drunk. But they have spectacular hair. And do a chorus of Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu, ‘Volare! Oh-oh. Cantare, oh wo-oh-oh’ They are SO VERY drunk. Or just exhausted after sitting through 17 hours of this.

Jon Ola Sand says the votes are in. Thank Zeus!

The winners are: Serbia! Fair enough. Moldova! Excellent. They were hilarious. Hungary, because all those Norwegian Death Metal fans were there for you. Ukraine, sure. Sweden. Really? Look, you’re a lovely country. Australia! YAY JESS! Norway, meh. Soz Sasha. I love your country. Denmark, which is entirely fair. Slovenia, which is good news. Last spot goes to The Netherlands, which is fine, the country and western people need something. That’s it till Sunday morning, Which will probably be Sunday night, let’s be honest.

[popblank]

Eurovision semifinal 2 thoughts:

Norway, Alexander Rybak, “That’s How You Write a Song” – I am unable to enjoy his singing.  Was that shot of a mildly-engaged crowd what they were going for?

Romania, The Humans, “Goodbye” – I want to go wherever they are in their postcard.  They didn’t look very comfortable with the choreography; it was better singing straight to the audience/camera with the wind machine cranked up. I like that abrupt ending.

Serbia, Sanja Ilić & Balkanika, “Nova Deca” – Sounds nice, doesn’t seem to go anywhere.

San Marino, Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening, “Who We Are” –  Cute postcard. All things considered I think they performed as well as could be expected. But robots?  

Denmark, Rasmussen, “Higher Ground” – To me this stays kind of flat.

Russia, Julia Samoylova, “I Won’t Break” – The mountain does keep her more visible while the dancers are running around in the same shot, but it looks awkward on the stage.

Moldova, DoReDoS, “My Lucky Day” – Clever and fun to watch. Moldova is pretty good at this.

The Netherlands, Waylon, “Outlaw in ’Em” – Not a fan of the coat.  This song and performance are not my thing.

Australia, Jessica Mauboy, “We Got Love” – Wow, she is working for this.  I feel like I just saw someone run an Olympic sprint.

Georgia, Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao, “For You” – The part where they suddenly sing in unison seems so stark in the live version.  

Poland, Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer, “Light Me Up” – Stage lights look good.  The vocals are a bit weak.  It didn’t need that much swimmy-hand dancing.

Malta, Christabelle, “Taboo” –  The TV-only graphics are so clearly not in the same physical space as the performer, it seems far more natural when they interact with LED screens.  On the plus side, it distracted me from the chorus.  Pretty good performance.

Hungary, AWS, “Vislyát Nyár” – This works well and the crowd seems into it.  The crowd shots look especially good with the pyrotechnics lighting everything up.

Latvia, Laura Rizzotto, “Funny Girl” – I liked the little flip of her skirt/train in the second chorus.

Sweden, Benjamin Ingrosso, “Dance You Off” – The problem I have with this performance is that it is so removed from the actual setting. Even relative to other recent Swedish entries there is very little that makes this distinct from the performances at Melodifestivalen.

Montenegro, Vanja Radovanović, “Inje” – This is a very pleasant listen.  Maybe it’s just that it’s the end of the second semifinal and it’s late in the week and I am getting tired.  Why is his jacket asymmetrical?

Slovenia, Lea Sirk, “Hvala ne!” – I had heard about the interruption but I don’t get what the point of it was.  I wonder if it’s supposed to be a sort of performance-art representation of the chorus (that is, a sudden let-down).

Ukraine, Melovin, “Under the Ladder” – That was quite an entrance, but I don’t really like this song.  

So far all of the auto-qualifier clips sound pretty good, though I’m not sure about Italy’s words.  At least they’re not trying to interact with them.

Well, I’m glad Slovenia qualified.

[theravensreliquary]

New stuff! I know I have a ton of other stuff unpainted, but I haven’t been to the hobby store in a few months--and I was right over there. But I got some really cool stuff!

From left to right:

Vanja the Fire Giant Queen, chimera, Bloodhoof the Minotaur Barbarian, Dijoro the female kitsune, earth genasi fighters, and human female bards.

I wanted the fire giant queen to go with my king. It’s funny, she has a braid that I have to glue in. Like her hands and spear, I get, but there is no real need for that braid. But imma still do it of course. I might shave off her nipples... they’re really annoying. Who would ever want nips on their armor???? no nips for you!

The chimera’s just cool and so is Bloodhoof. The kitsune I’ve seen on the reaper site before and I’ve always wanted her--I just really love foxes, and the genasi is fun. one of my friends if going to play one so I had genasi on my mind. I got the bards because I only have one true bard, and I think I’ll paint one to be my moon elf bard from a few months ago.

[crzcorgi]

All I Want For Christmas

a Negan x Vanja fic for @xsvanjasx

As always, if you aren’t pleased with this, just let me know and I’ll rewrite it!

Y/D/N ~ your dog’s name

 I woke up earlier than usual, forgetting once again to close the fucking curtains. I sat up carefully, not wanting to wake you up, kinda of had a bit too much fuckity fuckin’ fun well into the early morning hours. But can there truly be too much of such a fucking good thing? No, I don’t believe so.

 Glancing over, I see you stir, a tiny sigh escaping over your lips. I freeze, hoping you would just go back to sleep. Which you did, I let out the breath I was holding in. I love watching you sleep, so fucking beautiful, so peaceful.

 It hasn’t been fucking easy for you lately. Your beloved dog went missing and you spent a big part of your days acting like nothing was wrong. But I would hear you when you didn’t think I could, crying softly to yourself.

 He was your “precious baby” as you called him. Shit, sometimes I think you loved him more than me. Something about how he saved you when no one else did. I get it, I truly do. That’s why I was fine with him fucking bunking with us. Truth be told, I missed the fuzzy fucker too. It’s why I had Saviors out daily, looking for the shitter.

 Stretching my arms, I stand up hearing my back crack. “Shit, I’m fucking old.” I sigh.

 “You aren’t old, Negan, just more mature.”

 “Fuck doll! You startled the shit out of me!” I turned to see you sitting up in bed, the covers strategically placed to reveal nothing to my fucking horny eyes.  “Mature baby girl is just the fucking nice way of saying older than the oldest fucker out there.”

 You giggled at me, those green eyes sparkling. “Why are you up at the buttcrack of dawn Negan?” You yawned, settling back against the pillows, your hand reaching out to pat a dog that wasn’t there. I sighed, watching your face drop.

 “Fucking sun, but I’ve got business anyway baby girl. Go back to sleep. No need for both of us to be the fuck up.” I began walking into the bathroom to take a piss, a shit and get ready for another day in the hellhole we call home.

 “Negan, did you forget what today is?”

 A handful of words that sends chills up any man’s spine. Shit, what the fuck did I forget this time. Think man, think!

 “Uh, let me see. My birthday?” You tilted your head at me. Nope. “Simon’s Birthday?” You huffed.  Shit. “Your Birthday?” At this point I was fucking praying to any deity that might be listening, to save me.

 I looked over to see your arms crossed over your beautiful sexy as fuck chest. “No, Negan, it’s nobody’s birthday. Well, yes it is, kind of.”

 Birthday, sort of? And then it hit me, it was fucking Christmas! I don’t remember the last time I celebrated it, celebrated any holiday for that matter. It just wasn’t fucking feasible in a world where you’re just trying to survive. And I wasn’t thinking you were in the right fucking frame of mine to celebrate.

 “Christmas doll, fuck yeah.” One look at your sweet face, your beautiful brown hair all mussed up from sleep and fucking, I knew I had to come up with a surprise. And fucking fast. “And that is why I have to get going.”

 “I don’t understand? Where are you going?” Your gorgeous face twisting in confusion.

 “Isn’t Christmas all about fucking surprises Vanja my love?” I pointed a finger at you. “So, I’m not fucking telling no you!”

 “There’s only one thing I want for Christmas anyway.” You whispered, thinking I wouldn’t hear you. But I did.

 I sighed, making my way into the bathroom and hoping that whatever I came up with would make you smile if even for only a little while.

 When I came out, you were nowhere to be seen. “Vanja? Baby?” No answer. Which was just as well as I had to come up with a surprise. And quick.

 I made my way downstairs, hoping that I would spot something that would work as a Christmas surprise for you. After a walk inside and out of the Sanctuary buildings, a fucking miracle appeared in the form of two extremely dirty and tired Saviors. After putting a plan to fucking surprise you into place, I made my way back upstairs.

 As I reached the room, I was fucking surprised to find it locked. “Jesus, what the fuckity fuck?!”  I got my key out, ready to unlock when I hear a loud bang from inside. “Doll?!”

 “Don’t come in Negan!!!!”

 What the fuck?! “Vanja, what is going on?! Are you okay? Why the fuck is this door locked?”

 “It’s a surprise!”

 “Well, sweetheart, I need to come in.”

 I heard shuffling and the door opened. You were a fucking sight to behold, my sweet Vanja, the prettiest little red dress on, looking like a fucking Christmas dream come true.

 “Good fucking god baby, look at you! Is this why the door was locked?” I couldn’t help my heart beating faster or my pants growing too tight.

 “No, silly! This is why!” You stepped aside, letting me in the room.

 It was covered, head to toe, in Christmas lights. Big, little, fucking blinking ones, still ones. White, multicolored, green, blue ones. It was like a Christmas tree had fucking thrown up in the room.

 “Shit sweetheart, you did this all by yourself?!” I moved closer to you, my arms wrapping around your waist from behind. “Mmmhmmm, you smell like a fucking sugar cookie Vanja, good enough to eat!” I began nibbling on your neck, making you giggle.

 “Negan, we’re not alone!”

 With my face in your neck, I mumbled “what do you mean we’re not alone?” I got my answer when a bunch of little kids came running out of the bathroom.

 “Mr. Negan!!!! Merry Christmas!!!! We helped Ms Vanja decorate!!!”

 Fuck, my surprise. I wasn’t planning on the whole fucking Sanctuary being here, running all around my ankles.

 “Hey you little fuc…rugrats, why don’t you go downstairs and tell Helen in the kitchen I sent you. She’s got something special for you little shits.” I pulled you tighter to me.

“Mr. Negan! You said a bad word!”

 “Yes, I did. And if you don’t leave soon, I’ll be saying, and most likely, doing, much worse.” I snickered into your hair. “Mmhmm, baby girl.”

 “Negan!” You slapped my arm, wiggling out of my grasp. “Kids, why don’t you head downstairs. I’ll be down to see you all later, okay?”

 You had crouched down to their level, giving each one a hug goodbye. The love you show for everyone, it fucking amazes me.

 After the kids had left, you made your way over to where I was sitting on the couch.

 “Come sit beside me sweetheart.” I patted the seat next to me.

 “Nothing funny Negan, I want to look nice for the party later!”

 The party. I knew that some of the workers were holding some Christmas party and you wanted to go. But I was hoping my little surprise would change your mind. I wanted you all to myself.

 “Aww, Vanja, doll, no fuckity fun? Shit girl, whatta we gonna do then?” I brought my arm around the sofa back, my fingers rubbing your shoulder. “Is this dress really appropriate for mixed company, mixed being any fucking one but me?”

 “Negan, you think I’m under-dressed if any of my skin shows!” You turned to face me, your tiny fingers grasping my face. “No one would dare give me a second glance, they know who I belong to.”

 Our lips met in a kiss, one that might have led to more if not for a fucking knock at the door. It must be my surprise.

 “Shit, I’ll get it darling. Stay there.” I pointed a finger at you, making my way to the door. Opening it enough to slip out, I see my surprise. Your furry savior had found his way back. With a bit of help from Dwight and Fat Joey.

 “Thank you both. This means a lot  to my girl, so it  means a fucking lot to me too.” I patted them both on the back, noticing that not only had they cleaned up but so had the pup. “Fuck! You cleaned the little shitter too!”

 “Yes, boss, we just let him run through the showers, he loved it!” Fat Joseph was laughing, that big stupid grin of his making me fucking smile.

 “Thanks again. Take a few days off.” I took a hold of the pup’s collar, turning to head back into the room. “Oh, and you both have first pick of the incoming goods for a month.  I’ll let Simon fucking know.”

 I stepped inside, trying my fucking hardest to keep the pup behind me, but the shitter saw you and fucking plowed me over to get to you.

 “Y/D/N!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!” You fell to the floor, your opens opening just in time for him to fly into them. The two of you were a fucking sight, a furry glittery bundle, all laughs, barks, cries, yips.

 “Negan! You found him!!!! You found my baby!!!!”

 You were crying, fucking big fat tears streaming down your beautiful face, little streaks of runny makeup. But you couldn’t have cared less, your Christmas wish come true.

 You stood up, trying to make your way to me, the furry fucking wonder dog circling your legs. As you reached me, I could see my old Vanja back again. Those beautiful sparkling eyes, those plump lips in a mile-wide smile.

 “Negan, you have made my Christmas, my year! I can’t believe he’s back!” You threw yourself into my arms, kissing me all over.

 “Baby girl, it’s the least I can do. For everything you’ve done for me. For making my life worth living in this hellhole. I’m forever in your debt my love.”

 I carried you over to the bed, sitting down, you still in my arms, your furry fucker right behind, settling at my feet.

 “Almost time for the party doll.”

 You yawned, your hand finding furball’s head. “Let’s skip the party. Maybe have our own party.” You rose up, kissing my cheek. “I love you, Negan. Merry Christmas.”

 “Love you too Vanja. A very Merry Christmas to you too sweet girl.”