#vance is such a dick lmao

[smutteo]

I straight up forgot that people here might not have the context of my ocs at all so for quick reference:

Matteo - He/Him (He/She but only for special occasions) (Genderfluid, Trans, Bisexual) Shapeshifting monster-guy detective. He's my favorite oc and is who I draw most often!

Ellis - He/Him (Cis, Bisexual) Werewolf monster-guy detective. Wifes oc and is paired w/ Matteo :3 romantically and also for work LMAO

Vance - He/They/It (Nonbinary, Transmasc, Bisexual) what if slender man was autistic and solved crimes? another fave oc but I dont draw him enough. Tentacles likely

Sylvia - He/She/They (Genderqueer, Bisexual) autistic shapeshifter 2.0 now with 100% more of a crush on Vance. Paired w/ Vance, Wifes OC!

Blake - He/Him (Cis/Complicated, Bisexual Polyromantic), Matteo's sort-of-estranged brother, Shapeshifter monster guy, recovering deadbeat. He looks stinky and has a split tongue and likes to fuck but also makes gatorade rice so its really your call on if he's allowed to be sexy or not.

Syrin - He/Him (Cis, Bisexual, Demi+Poly) Snake-man Ex-criminal turned good boy after dicking Blake down. So I guess maybe he is allowed to be sexy only a little. Wifes Oc! Melanie - She/Her (Maybe also He/Him, haven't decided) Snake-woman (literally) criminal related to Syrin. Has a grudge and a need to fuck women rivaled only by her ambitions LMAO. Plays with looking butch/femme and being gnc - hesitant to commit but has some kind of deep tether to Steevie she's unwilling to admit.

Steevie - She/He (Transfemme Lesbian) Werewolf PI that literally can't stop yearning/lusting after Melanie. Someone help her, her life is in shambles over her.

There's others I may draw off/on but those are what I can consider The Regulars !!!

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

Lewis: Glitch, I can’t find Scott!

Vance, sighing: Fine, hold on. *inhales*

Vance: FURR-

Scott, banging on the window: IT’S “FURY’S RAGE” YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH! WHEN I GET IN YOU’RE FUCKING DEA-

Vance, pointing at the window: There he is

[bisluthq]

Lmao Vance looks so proud of himself in that pic with Tay and that ugly ass painting.

HE HAD A CRUSHHHHHH

It is funny we gave the literal hettiest interpretation of her Riptide cover lmao like people have been like “was it for Dianna or Karlie???” and we went “nah she was probably sucking his dick tbh” and that’s fucking hilarious to me but also very likely.

[frannyzooey]

Interview Game

I was tagged by the amazingly gorgeous @freak-nasty-thick-dick-mando and the beautifully talented @pedropascaldice ❤️

Nickname: none — my name is Kelli, but I do like when people call me Franny on here ❤️

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: Gemini

Height: 5′9″ 

Time currently: 4:35pm

Birthday: June 7th

Favorite groups/bands: I’m so awful at remembering this stuff, but The Beatles, Weezer, Oasis, Nirvana, Third Eye Blind, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Favorite solo artist: Cat Power, Neil Young, Kanye West

Song stuck in my head: I’m with You by Vance Joy, for some FOG inspo

Last movie you watched: Little Women, the 2019 version and I cried

Last show you binged: Freaks and Geeks

When you created your blog: about 3 years ago, but my first post was 9/2019 #lurkersunite

Last thing i googled: synonyms for “impersonal”

Other blogs: nope

Why I chose my url: Franny & Zooey by JD Salinger is my favorite book ❤️

Do you get asks: yes 😍

How many people you are following: 178? I’ve been meaning to add more, but cruising the tags takes time, says girl in whiny voice

How many followers: 👀

Average hours of sleep: 6-7, the first stretch between 11-3 and then a second stretch between 4/5-7 (does anyone else have an hour they always are awake for in the night?)

Lucky number: 7

Instruments: I used to play the clarinet, but I can’t anymore — that’s it, lmao

Currently wearing: business wear — button down, slacks, loafers — in the office, baybee!

Dream job: elementary art teacher

Dream trip: China, Arizona, Scotland, India, Japan, Maine, New York — too many

Favorite food: movie theater popcorn

Favorite song: Only in Dreams by Weezer

Top 3 fictional worlds to live in: Little House on the Prairie ( @pedros-mustache amirite), Poldark’s Cornwall (why am I making it so hard on myself life expectancy wise 🧐🧐) and idk because I’m awful and not creative when it comes to this kinda stuff, it’s like I forget every single thing I’ve ever read/watched when asked questions like this 🙃

Tagging: @filthybookworm @dindja @julesorwhatever @pedros-mustache @goldafterglow @the-wishmonger @yespolkadotkitty @heatherbel @dazedrhapsody @javierpcna @javier-pena

[horrible-monstrosity]

inhales

My youtube history needs a fucking exorcism

That aside, what is it about this game that has people sucking its god damn cock so god damned hard? There's been like ninety the fuck billion "reject reality because sad and something something dreamworld" works already and I'm sure at least some of them have to be better than this undercooked pile of crap. And I keep seeing these fuckloads of Tumblr rejects praising it because "I'm a worthless brokebrain who doesn't want to put any effort at all into improving myself and this gaem validates my mental illness!!! uwu" ... That second point probably goes toward explaining the first, huh.

Also, when was it actually established that Funny had amnesia, and wasn't just refusing to face reality? I feel like it would have gone a lot differently if he straight up didn't remember it- like, he might have actually been able to leave the house normally, and been somewhat fine until something "triggered" his memories and sent him back into despair and running back home. And he just never shows any sign of not knowing something he should. Plus that takes a lot of agency away from him. Instead of him choosing to fight reality rather than face it, his brain just decides it for him, until he bumbles his way into not doing that anymore. Not that its actually possible to get a read of anything reasonable when the game has him just sitting there dead while everyone else argues about his dead sister and NO ONE THINKS THIS IS UNUSUAL. Like they're actually just expecting him to sit there and take it. They neither try to pull him into a conversation that very much concerns him nor think there's something horribly wrong with him just acting like a dead sack of potatoes while they discuss something that very much concerns him. It doesn't even come off like they're trying to be considerate, there's just... nothing. That's a problem throughout the whole game honestly, he just bumbles around in both the dream world and real world until he just kind of decides for no reason to face the real world. You know, it probably would help if the character you're deeply psychoanalizing isn't at the same time a generic-ass mute cipher character.

and let's talk about the dreamworl- despite failing to properly parallel za tweezt, it bothers to autistically parallel things inthe real worl that don't matter and that no one, audience or mori/funny alike, have any reason to care about. oh, ber is kergy, vance is van fogey, wow who fuck cares who the fuck even are these people to him? Having cunt princess, spacecuck and the sproutfucks be consoomer shit is also dumb as internally demonstrated by the game store having to inexplicably be some shitty outdated retro store to handwave funny knowing these characters when he hadn't left the house in four years. It's such a cheap and vapid form of parallelism, too- these things don't mean anything except muh clinging to childhood. And it makes shit that just doesn't have a parallel in the real world stand out like a sore thumb as well- like, what the fuck is Pluto? What's the job subplot supposed to mean? What the absolute fuck is th whale vore chapter?Why princesscunt try to marry hurro? does this have something to do with his relationship with murry? was omorashi concerned about one of them being stolen from him by the other? Naw, it's just because they're both single-point existences who do something very vaguely in line with their surface-level characteristics. Princess is cunt female and hurroo attractive male, so she wants his cock (in a childish g-rated way because muh clinging to childhood because muh trauma). As a connoseiur of metaphorical/parallel weirdshit (meguca and Kuuchuu Buranko fuck yeah) I'm seriously fucking offended by this poorly-constructed surface level fucking shit, put more effort into your goddamn metaphorical weirdfuckshit, this goes for you too eggfucks I have to wonder what the fuck omorashicat was doing that this shit took years to develop. it feels like she just did everything linearly and then just got to the end and was like OH FUCK SHIT GOTTA WRITE A CONCLUSION NOW JUST PUT SOMETHING IN RIGHT NOW FUCK.

By the way, why did Funny need to be told about hHuuro's nickname being sandwich rather than anything worthwhile? He knew about it before retreating to the dreamworl, so it didn't happen after he cut contact, so did he never wonder about it while he was friends with them? He never saw Huuuro deepthroating a fucklong sandwich? And why the fuck was whatsname prompted to suddenly tell Funny about it again? It was literally, like, nothing. Just like the nickname thing itself being nothing outside of HA HA FUNNY WACKY SANDWICH RANDOM LULZ fuck off

Oh you know what else fucking sucks, that random subplot about reul luif suck, you can't be chef on the side because be doktor? Like first off, why the fuck are Hero's parents forcing him to become a doctor? They're vaguely hispanic, not, you know... asian. Race jokes aside, you'd think him changing track to wanting to be doktor would have had something to do with Mari, the very important person in his life who fucking died- maybe her death made him want to save other people, maybe it was some dream of hers he decided to carry on. But no it's just some random unrelated "my parents are randomly dicks who decided to destroy my own life dreams for their personal satisfaction and I let them :)" shit. And then there's the matter of this theme/plot thread just being brought up once to generate misery and never again, never being connected to anyhing either. All it really does is force Kel to look like an immature retard who thinks dreams are a thing that matters, lol loser, not like Aubey who bla bl abl abl ahla bkablabalabba And don’t tell me this is what the job dream plot was supposed to represent, because there’s no correlation. Hero was actually quite fulfilled being sharkmang’s gopher/cocksucker until friendship came up, and everyone else’s problems were just childishness. It’s nothing Actually there's another thing, there's an odd undercurrent of characters being just a little bit... too immature for what they're supposed to be. Hero says he still thinks about Mari everyday and he cri everitiem, but... it's been four years, he's a grown-ass adult now, this was a teenage love interest. I'm not saying he needs to flat out get over it, no fucking shit, but he mourns like a child... or like a child's idea of mourning someone. Brazil's caretaker when he cadets sudoku, too, acts like an angsty teen or something. Like, you're presumably a professional at this, you've never had some troubled ward self-harm or die or anything? Who the fuck even was this woman in the end? I don't know whether it's a case of the characters being written as too immature or more like the writing itself is too immature to handle it, but it's... off.

and one moooore thiiing- there's a scene manry skipped over and never got back to, possibly because he was getting tired of this game's shit even if he still liked it in the end, but the comments covered it- after Mary's death, Hero shut himself up in his room and cried for a year straight, basically Omori's shut-in thing but a bit different. At some point Kel comes in to get him and he lashes out and makes his little bro cry/hurts him or something, and the parents come running in. Ok, fine so far, but then it gets a bit weird... at first I actually misread the comment, and thought the parents had come in and ignored Hero and just comforted Kel, and that's what snapped Hero out of his misery. That seems like it makes sense, right? The parents would care more about the younger, more impressionable child, especially if he's been hurt, and especially if they’d been neglecting the older one nayway. It's got a weird undercurrent of Hero finally realising that his own parents don't give a fuck about his misery after a year of uninterupted crying and accepting that is a good thing because it makes him go become doktor, but that's in line with some other... weird shit in the writing, including said plotline of Hero being forced into being a doctor by his parents in the first place. But actually what happened was, after Hero violenced on poor Kel, the parents... rushed in and suddenly flipped a switch so they only cared about Hero, and it was on Hero to show some compassion for Kel. Whut? The parents, after not giving a damn shit about their miserable older son for a year, and after he's (unintentionally, but they wouldn't know that) violenced their innocent younger son, they suddenly only give a shit about the older. Instead of, you know, giving a damn about both sons or something. This isn't even internally consistent, let alone thematically coherent or meaningful in anyway. It's just confusing. I don't know, maybe the commentor fucked the scene up, but it's weird.

fuck this my brain needs a fucking exorcism

and also finally him ending up in the hospital where his friends can visit him is kind of cheating the moving deadline and it really undermines the whole point of the game up until this point lmao fuck this shit i’m out

[lorelaisgilmoresarchive-blog]

maurader’s character list.

clare: 

narcissa black ;; dove cameron - 5th year slytherin

sirius black ;; ben barnes - 7th year gryffindor

lily evans ;; karen gillan - 7th year gryffindor 

drea: 

alice fortescue  ;; maia mitchell - 7th year gryffindor 

andromeda black ;; adelaide kane - 6th year slytherin

james potter ;; aaron taylor johnson  - 7th year gryffindor 

remus lupin ;; taron egerton - 7th year gryffindor 

alecto carrow ;; eiza gonzalez - 7th year ravenclaw

jess: 

marlene mckinnon ;; freya mavor 

frank longbottom ;; douglas booth

severus snape ;; adam driver - 7th year slytherin

christine: 

emmeline vance ;; shelley hennig

fabian prewett ;; daniel sharman

shay: 

bellatrix black ;; astrid berges firsbey

evan rosier ;; sam claflin 

jaime: 

gideon prewett ;; daniel sharman

open: 

dorcas meadowes ;; murdered by lord voldemort personally in the first war

mary macdonald  ;; survived ( people make her part of the order all the time tho. she was attacked at hogwarts by mulciber bc muggleborn )

regulus black ;; dies sometime in the first war, joined death eaters bc parents u know... he was RAB ( ask if u gonna play cause this long )

peter pettigrew  ;; TRAITOR TO THE NORT ;; first wizarding war this snake sold lily and james to voldemort but tbh i he was aiight in his hogwart years at least that’s what i think of him. 

edward ‘ ted ‘ tonks  ;; married andromeda black, was a neutral in the first war but he and dromeda allowed the order to use their home as headquarters in the second war. daddy to nympadora tonks in da future.

molly prewett ;; MOMMA WEASLEY IN THE FUTURE, she marries arthur duh. anyway fiercest mother bear baddass... joins the order and older sister to the prewett twins.

amelia bones ;; bad ass woman, ridiculous talented, who joins the ministry of magic she was part of the second order and was murdered by lord voldemort ( people make her part of the first order in marauders era tho )

amos diggory ;; cedric’s papa and that’s about it.

rita skeeter ;; lying bitch lmaooo we all know her as the evil reporter who told the world hermione granger loved harry potter. anyway she’s usually played as u know a drama instigating asshole.

greta catchlove ;; author of how to charm your own cheese ( idk jk rowling high when she wrote her lmao )

lucinda talkalot ;; slytherin probably a death eater what is known about her that she was quidditch team captain

xenophillius lovegood ;; weirdo who grows up to be the father of my all time favorite lady miss luna lovegood... will run the quibbler in the future.

pandora ( oc last name, future last name lovegood she’s lunas mumma ) ;; all we know is she’s an inventor and cooky like her daughter she is luna’s momma. 

emma vanity ;; a sltherin on the qudditch team

lucius malfoy  ;; pretentious dick wad of a man who joins the death eaters and is in sltyherin and u know marries cissy and is draco’s pops.

rodolphus lestrange ;; tortured alice and frank longbottom ;; death eater 

rabastan lestrange  ;; death eater and i think he wsa part of the group that tortured the longbottoms.

daisy hookum ;; she wrote the best selling book called my life as a muggle

antonin dolohov ;; death eater killed the prewett twins

alecto and amycus carrow ; death eaters TBH people in fanon make them hella in love with each other like a lot of incest tbH ( they twins LMAO ) and they are sadistic monsters. in the second war they are in charge of hogwarts discipline and they torture kids

barty crouch ( father not son ) ;; just a dick wad who’s son kills him in the second war. 

walden mcnair ;; he executed buckbeak before u know time turner events happened. a death eater

corban yaxley ;; death eater

agustus rockwood ;; death eater

kingsley shackelbolt ;; bad as auror who joins the order he is supposed to be black ( no white washing ya’ll )

beny fenwick  ;; order, he dies in the first war.

edgar bones ;; crazy talented wizard, he and his wife were killed by death eathers in the first war part of the orderer.

arthur weasley ;; resident muggle lover and order member. cooky man who is the father of the best wizarding family ever.

last names ( no known characters but u know ocs man ): 

zabini ;; death eaters

crabbe ;; death eaters

goyle  ;; death eaters

nott ;; death eaters

avery ;; death eaters

[acevity]

1 6 9 10 11 16 18 22 27 34 41 42 46 48

SMH its super long so im putting under a read-more rip

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?yeaaah however its kinda unrequited due to not living near said person but thats ok im glad to be friends too

6: Have you ever been cheated on?nope!

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?hmm id say trust. if you dont trust your partner then chances are things may start to fall apart

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?pretty sure id like serious relationships more,,, i like knowing that i am enjoyed for Me huehue

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?hmm............ it depends on the relationship really but i do believe that taking a break can help strengthen a relationship if done right. i think its a good idea as long as its discussed and respected amongst both partners! 

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?nope! infatuation at first sight is more like it. love takes work and dedication and communication and stuff. what most people define as “love at first sight” is actually just a liking of how YOU think they are and liking their appearance and yea short answer is no i dont believe in love at first sight

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?if a person is a dick to retail workers, waiters, animals, thats a BIG DEAL BREAKER. also if they are like,, always a ‘me me me!’ person then that kinda gets me a lil iffy too especially if they do it Constantly and never consider other people. 

22: Do you think people should date their friends?as long as both parties feel the same then sure! tbh i am more likely to date a friend than someone i dont know well enough to consider a friend. i kinda live by the whole ‘your partner should be someone you consider a best friend’ sort of deal tbh so its no surprise LMAO

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?to chill out and dont even worry about it bc dating isnt even that important right now anyway. also dont date timmy hes a fucking dick

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?thats fucking CHEESY and id only do it if i felt 100% confident in us staying together tbh and id make it subtle enough to not be an issue if something DID come up

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?hmm really just hanging out with my partner somewhere where we both like and can be comfortable probably? maybe going to like a butterfly garden or a cool museum or the zoo or something! hell id be fine with staying home too tbh,,,,,

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?yea its required reading in highschool and we also watched three different versions of the movies

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?i dont think so but ive certainly friendzoned people without realizing it RIP

48: What's your favorite love song?oof thats a hard choice.......... i like Riptide by Vance Joy.. and Can’t Sleep Love by Pentatonix.... oh Stolen Dance by Milky Chance is good.................................................. Lady Stardust by Lisa Miskovsky is Very Gay and its good too.. i dont have just One Favorite ok theres a LOT of good love songs that i like

[webwrecker]

 Rules: Tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better

I was tagged by @tea-with-cloud and @smol-bokuto

Name: emily Nickname: em, emmy Gender: female Star Sign: libra Height: 5′1 barely Sexual Orientation: demi Hogwarts House: ravenclaw Favorite color: turquoise  Favorite animal: mother freakin komodo dragons Average hours of sleep: i try to get at least 7 Cat or Dog Person: dog Favorite Fictional Characters: probably top six are shiro, keith, armin, jason todd, dick grayson and ofc my babe bolin  Number of blankets I sleep with: three lmao Favorite singer/band: vance joy/ misterwives/ BØRNS Dream trip: to spain or the Caribbean  Dream job: none lmao bye When Was The Blog Created: 2013 bruh Current number of followers: 2879

I tag: @snarky-goldfish @itsalldaijoubooty @nezushion @keluturtle @thetruebirdqueen @theconfusedlorax @flying-rubber-duckies @bi-bi-beauty @melodyrider @jeanxmarco @putins-secret-stash-of-dildos @tweeks-tea and anyone else who wants to

[bisluthq]

So you think Taylor isn’t a sex addict?and you think she doesn’t love sex and orgasm?really?of course not.she loves sex and orgasm so fucking much.if not,why did she fuck so many men in her life.I think she really wants to fuck a 18,tall,handsome boy who has a huge dick. And taylor has never been uncomfortable being sexual.So you always said taylor can't be in a poly relationship.she is monogamous?she is very open.she can flirt with anyone.she can fuck a random in the backseat of her car.she can talk to her friend that she has a big vagina so she were always seen the cemel toe in her candid.she even had some affair with vance joy in her 1989 tour while she is with calvin.And she has fucked so many men and women in the past.maybe she still do this now,you know,like fuck a random.so why do you think she is monogamous in the relationship?Her boyfriend won’t say anything when she wants to fuck a random.remember Tom H?Did you remember his "not jealous "when she made out with mike hess?So go to fuck a boy right now.she will feel very satisfied .

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

LET IT ALL OUT DOTS BABY. LET IT ALL OUT YOUR WACKY ASS LMAO.

[bisluthq]

aren't you the one who spent months i believe in a rumor from reditt about taylor cheating on calvin but when it's with harry you need video, photos, and your presence there? can tag nat on harry's ass because that's exactly where you are

Bestie I also said MANY times I don’t ACTUALLY think Taylor cheated. It’d be SEXIER if she did because he was a piece of shit so if she hopped on Vance Joy’s dick for a spell that’d be iconic of her. I don’t think she did but IF SHE DID that’d be INCREDIBLE. I’ve never used “believing” in the rumor to anti Taylor??? So there’s like a big difference there??? If you’re saying the timeline with Wildestyles is tricky and you think Olivia stepped out on JSuds I think you might be right lmao and if you’re saying it as in “good for her get that Harry Styles dick” I am 100% on board. If you’re saying “Harry Styles has a kink for partnered women he’s a womanizing disgusting ho” based on like tabloid articles with him and his sister or whatever then I’m sorry but we’re in disagreement.