#vamps romance and other dead things

[psalacanthea]

WiP Wednesday

now that I have a second to breathe, a bit from the upcoming chapter of the Tav x Astarion Modern AU fic (FOUND HERE!). Zyn once again destroying his own flirting because he can't watch her damn mouth.

...

Eventually his repeated stubbornness drove Zyn to snapping, capping the eyeliner with a vengeance and tossing it at Astarion, the small tube bouncing off his chest and falling into the sink between his thighs.

“You have to commit!”

“Your idea of ‘committing’ is practically heels and drag makeup.”

Irritated by his bloody-minded bullshit, Zyn slammed his hands on the mirror to either side of Astarion’s head.  “Malice and Misfortune, stop being so reductive!  You’re not even talented enough to be a drag queen; don’t flatter yourself.”

Catlike, scarlet eyes narrowed at Zyn, arrogance oozing from every word.  “How dare you.”  But there was a hint of something, a little smugness that peeked out.

“I’m sorry, are you irritating me on purpose?” he inquired, shifting from flat hands to forearms, thumping against the tarnished glass.

Their faces, nearly nose-to-nose, were close enough that he could feel Astarion’s breath on his skin when he laughed, self-satisfied.  The moment had become taut, pulled tight, like a string desperate to be played.  Emotions pulled to the surface by arguing bubbled under the surface, wobbling dangerously.

Well, sometimes that was how sexual chemistry went, wasn’t it?

This kind was…messy but fun.

“I don’t like it when you pretend to be nonchalant.  You’re not very good at it,” the bastard replied, lifting a hand to run fingers along his jaw, sliding down towards his neck.  There was a frivolously academic lilt to his voice.  “You’re fascinating, you know.  And all the more intriguing for being so…” His legs tightened around Zyn, dragging them an inch closer together.  “Flexible.”

Zyn was pulled up off his heels.  “Interesting choice of words,” he breathed against Astarion’s skin, arrested by his eyes.

“I like it.”  A hand tucked under Zyn’s chin, lifting his head slightly.  Astarion smirked, pinkie drawing lazily across his throat.  “I can see you…the real you.  It isn’t in the face, or the…”  His eyes flicked down and to the side, playfully.  “Well, what’s between your thighs.  No.  It’s your smile.  The little wrinkle in your brow, and across the bridge of your darling nose.  The little white freckles…under your exquisite moonlight eyes.”

Dumbstruck, feeling abruptly swept up in some violent current, Zyn went briefly silent.  

It felt like a trick.

“And?” he finally asked.

“And I think…”  Fingers nudged lightly to tilt his head, Astarion’s voice going quieter, throatier.  “I think I’d like to kiss you.”

The moment was tense…but too tense.  Instincts galloped to the fore; inappropriate and gleefully glib.  Definitely badly timed as well.

“I knew I’d win eventually.  Don't be a sore loser. Let’s cancel this whole business and go to bed,” Zyn teased as his sense of humor won out over his libido.  

Like always, it backfired.

Astarion instantly leaned back, eyes averting as he gave a faint ‘hmph’.  With a dismissive flick of his hand, he threw Zyn’s head to the side as they parted.  His pinkie nail dug slightly against skin in retreat, leaving a sting.  Ow.  Vampire claws.

Pouting, Zyn jerked his head up.  “Hey!”

"You ruin everything!"

[yeonmuse]

𓇢𓆸. 𝕯ECELIS ACA𝕯EMY. —— YJW

BLOODBOUND. ִ. 𓍯𓂃

☪︎ ִFull Chapter log Next Chapter

WARNING | EXPLICIT CONTENT ℭontains the mention of blood & voilence. Mentions of sex & death, Jungwon will be a little mean in this one but the way that each member is written in this does not portray their true selves. Includes ot7, angst/romance/fluff. Includes otr, angst/romance/fluff

𖤓 reader x yang jungwon ── 𝒢enre. angst. fluff, non idol vamp enha. [reqs are open] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary

𝕾ynopsis. — Yang Jungwon has stood by her side from the age of six to the night of her eternal age ceremony. He has spent nearly her entire life reassuring her that her time would come, that she would possess her vampiric abilities soon enough, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. Her lack in vampiric traits cause a ripple in their friendship, her father is withholding secrets from her and she slowly begins to lose a sense of self, but maybe with Jungwons help she can find out who she is truly meant to be in this life.

More | please remember that the things written in this series are a work of FICTION,meaning NOTHING you read in this series correlates to neither enha nor their storyline.

© YEONMUSE 2024. do not copy, plagiarize or steal my works. You can join the taglist for this series here

Chapter 9

For a moment the room was dead silent, neither of them spoke a word to one another until she let a sigh slip past her lips.

“What did you want to talk about, im kinda tired Jungwon if you don’t have anything to say then-“

“What did you mean when you said that I ditched you?”

“Jungwon, are we really talking about this again? You’re really going to act like you don’t know? I waited for you every night after the night of my party. I went to the park so many times hoping that you would be there waiting for something but you never were there”

“So you’re going to blame me when you never even bothered to reach out? I sent you countless letters, even tried to reach Eless and the others since I know you didn't have a phone. You never wrote me back, you never told them to call? You completely disappeared after that, no trace of yet everyone around me kept asking and asking even when i tried to forget you i was still being haunted by you.”

“Letters? Jungwon, I never got any letters?”

“I wrote to you every week for two months…yet you never wrote me back.”

“Jungwon, my father , had me training like some crazy person for four months straight. I didn’t get any letters, he never even told me that you wrote to me.”

“So you never…you never got any of them, not one?”

“Not any of them…if I had known then I would have written you back, I wanted nothing more than to talk to you that entire time because you were the only one i knew that would have given me comfort or made me smile, you were all I had.”

“If you didn’t get them then why did you send me that letter telling me not to come over anymore, not to write anymore?”

“Jungwon, what are you talking about? I never sent you anything?”

4 months earlier

Jungwon sat in his room pacing back and forth, he had been staring at the door for hours hoping for one of the housekeepers to enter the room with a letter from her. Did he make things awkward with his first letter? Should he not have confessed to her in that way? Maybe it would have been better face to face. Was that the reason she hadn't written him back because of the first letter he sent confessing his feelings?

He was going crazy not having heard from her in two months, two whole months, the two had never gone so long without speaking to one another, since they were kids the longest they’d gone without talking to one another was often a week. He waited days, then weeks , then months until he could no longer wait anymore, until he came to the conclusion that you simply didn’t like him, that you no longer wanted to be friends with him because he had made things awkward.

Though when he had finally lost all hope a letter had finally come. His heart sank in his chest upon reading the contents of the letter.

Dear Wonnie,

Please don’t show up here anymore, don’t send anymore letters, all it will do is cause distractions. Thank you for being there for me but i don’t want you coming here anymore.

Yours dearly yn

Jungwon was heartbroken, just like that she had cut him off? After months of hearing nothing from her this was the letter she had chosen to send him?

The next morning she woke with far too many heavy things weighing on her, having found out her father hid Jungwons letters. Her father not showing up last night, she was now holding in so much anger, so much resentment- all because of her father. No matter how busy she kept herself throughout the entire day she couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal that she had been experiencing all because of her father.

As she pushed herself out of bed and went to get washed up, her thoughts drifted back to last night between her and Jungwon, what had those letters said? She wondered if her father even still had them or had he thrown them away?

She had been in the middle of brushing her teeth when Aleera burst into her room, leaning over the bed and trying to catch her breath as if she had just run a mile.

“You Yo”

“Do I need to get you a defibrillator?” Seconds later fawna had appeared in the doorframe, her gaze dead set on yn.

“Your father is here”

🔖 @jwonistic @bubblytaetae @pkjay @heesallure @planetmarlowe @dreeki @butterflywonz @lilotus17 @squiishymeow @river-demon-slayer @jiamini @sol3chu @st4rryst4r @firstclassjaylee @right-person-wrong-time

[the-crystal-femmes]

Our filter tag list

// pt: our filter tag list //

This is going to be a list of things that I respectfully ask my mutuals to filter tag, whether it be in respective tags, or in tags that mutuals made for me to filter things out. Those tags are #batty please ignore this, and #tagging for vamp.

// pt: This is going to be a list of things that I respectfully ask my mutuals to filter tag, whether it be in respective tags, or in tags that mutuals made for me to filter things out. Those tags are #batty please ignore this, and #tagging for vamp. //

You don't have to use both the tags! We understand they're a mouthful, only one or the other will suffice.

None of this is forced, but absolutely encouraged.

// pt: None of this is forced, but absolutely encouraged. //

Last updated November 6th, 2024

Ula's Tag List / Laura's Tag List

Note: Please tag Ula's triggers separately with #tag for ula

// pt: Note: Please tag Ula's triggers separately with #tag for ula //

Vagueposting (please clarify if it isn't a vague post when it may sound like it /nf)

Reblog bait - Posts along the lines of "reblog if you support [insert thing]", "reblog if you're not [insert horrible thing]", etc. Essentially anything that makes you feel pressured to reblog. Can't tell? Maybe put one just in case.

US Politics, especially the 2024 election. It stresses the whole collective.

Posts with pressuring tone

Fatphobia and the word "ob*se"

Discourse

Intersexist posts

Eating disorder posts

Any mentions of stuffed animal harm.

Draculaura x Reader posts

Any mentions of Greg x Pearl, as per request of our Pearl fictive and instated by Ula.

The queer term "bat", as we have a personal problem with it due to our narcissism

Demonic art - anything that's "demonic" and is meant to purposely invoke fear. Normal demons don't count, don't worry! We have paranoia sometimes and that can trigger it.

Anything that could cause body dysmorphia - This is a more personalized thing, however I do also ask mutuals to use their best judgement.

The things I've noticed that cause body dysmorphia for me are: furry art of plus-sized cows and plus-sized anthropomorphic cows in general, suggestive things about fat people, and fatphobic things that were talked about above. There could be more, and if there is, I'll definitely add them.

Omegaverse and Misceverse related content

Alluding to romance or sexual implications with vampires

Monsterfucker content

Dead bats - This includes (but is not limited to): bat carcasses, dead bats in frames, bat taxidermy, skulls, skeletons, wet specimens, and anything alluding to the death of a bat.

Vampire hate

Trolls / anon hate

Tag games - we usually feel excluded when we ourselves aren't tagged and it can make us feel really bad.

This list is always subject to change. If you're unsure of what to filter tag, feel free to check on this post every so often. It will be linked on the introduction post.

// pt: This list is always subject to change. If you're unsure of what to filter tag, feel free to check on this post every so often. It will be linked on the introduction post. //

Please like this post to let me know you've read it.

// pt: Please like this post to let me know you've read it. //

[darcydarlingdabbles]

Wyllstarion - Post Game Drabbles

//I'm counting this as a WIP Wednesday because I know me, and me will not be able to get this out of her head.//

SFW

They're basically made for each other. But spesifically to grow into each other. Wyll is literally the knight in shining armor Astarion says he dreamed about.

Wyll on the other hand needs someone to stand up for him and encourage him to be selfish sometimes. He also has a thing for paranormal romance (see his convo with shadowheart about mermaid erotica) Ironic as he's a monster hunter.

Astarion constantly calling Wyll a sweet fool, with increasing affection.

Astarion fits perfectly into the noble life, and riding the wave of being the heroes of Baulder's Gate, Wyll is going to be the new Archduke. And the vampire is /thrilled/ to be setting up the plans and parties.

Wyll suggest they can do the coronation and the wedding in the same ceremony, knowing that Astarion would love the spectacle.

Astarion says absoutely not. Wyll has one day fully about him and all he's sacrificed for the Gate and he's going to have it, dammit. Besides, this means the vampire gets to plan his own wedding--something he'd never thought he'd do. He boasts to Wyll that it will be another lavish party that will go down in the histories as far grander than the coronation anyway.

Astation surprises Wyll with an elegant but private ceremony with only their friends--their family.

Whoops, did he forget to inform Wyll's father? What a pity.

Astarion being the son-in-law of Ulder Ravengard's nightmares.

NSFW

H/C Wyll is demi-sexual. Astarion is a switch that leans bottom, but Wyll brings out his inner needy brat. Wyll is willing (sorry not sorry) to give or take whatever his vamp needs.

Astarion has a lot of healing to do when it comes to sex and intimacy, and he's very insecure about this. Wyll is more than happy to wait. Until they've formed a greater bond and sex is about that bond and intimacy.

Once they're engaged, and with Cazador dead, Astarion is ready to jump Wyll's bones at any provocation.

Wyll is indulgent but says why not wait until the wedding when they're so close to it. Astarion is foppishly distraught, but respects Wyll's wishes. Mostly.

He'll get his prince charming up to do everything...up to the point of fucking him properly. It's a delightful torment for them both. Wyll gets Astarion to slow down and teach him what he likes, and Astarion gets to be the tease and tempter without hurting anyone.

Astarion would love to be the one to break his Wyll.

[dre4ml4nd-st4rlight]

**｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ ｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ ｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ ｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ Mephistopheles Alter Pack - For @theworldtree01 . I hope this is good, excited to post my first alter pack. Ty for req, the other one will be posted soon when spoons are higher :3

「 ✦ Base ID ‘ s ✦ 」**

╰┈➤ names : Mephistopheles / Mephie ,

╰┈➤ Pronouns : he/him , they/them , it/its , goth/goths , vamp/vampires , bat/bats , ey/eyes, cross/cross , stab/stabs , cree/creeps , pred/predators , dark/darks , love/loves , blood/bloods , sin/sins , cast/castles ,

╰┈➤ Titles : The Dark Master , The Lord of Blood , Predator , ⌞ prn ⌝ Sinfulness , Immortal Lover , ⌞ son/child/Spawn/kin ⌝ of the eclipse

╰┈➤ Genders : predator omninoun , angelivamp , violeboy , nyctophic , phosnightal , aneium , gothvictoric , vampgothic , batumbrellic , tradgothic , gothaudic ,

╰┈➤ Orientations : omnisexual (masc lean), necromantic , nonhuman for nonhuman , masc for masc , cupiospec ,

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ other id ‘ s ๋࣭⭑ ꩜ ˎˊ˗

☾ Cis - born 800 Ad during the Carolingian Renaissance , vampire , half-dead , corpsebodic , German , demon , folkloric nonhuman

⟡ Trans - ageless , living , alcoholic (wine addict) , royalty (vampire prince) , transcharacter ; mephisto (Germanic folklore) , French ,

ᯓ★ 「 ✦ Roles + Alter Functions ✦ 」. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

persecutor , falsehood speaker , Auxillary , emotion enhancer , emotional processor , babysitter , caregiver , communicator

Mephie’s role is to check in on those in the system and ensure that people get help when needed. bat itself doesn’t tend to do any helping- vamp just makes sure those who need things get what they need (food, water, mental health help,)

⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ Interest and misc details ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

Favorite colors : reds, blacks, dark green + blue, greys , dark brown ,

hobbies : writing (poetry specifically) , learning cursive , learning about history , looking at castles + old gothic architecture , listening to goth music , reading novels (specifically mysteries, horrors, or gothic lit. Although he does have a secret love for cheesy romance books. Would probably have a love hate relationship with the twilight series) , gothic dancing

Cree was an architect for many different gothic architectural buildings- including the Notre Dam. looking at / exploring old gothic buildings is a big source of joy for him.

It is an immortal vampire that feeds off of energy (and blood, but mostly energy), different emotion give him different energy levels. Vamp automatically picks up on the energy in the room, and goths mood involnutarily changes depending on it

Snape voice Claim ??

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩

── .✦ Photos + Aesthetic hoard - Face Claim

- Aesthetic Hoard

[februaryfangfest]

There are just a few days left until Sign-ups end for Fangfest, so go read the deets and fill out the sign up sheet!

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming: Each week in the run-up to February Fangfest, we’ll be spotlighting different sub-pairings/groups within the Fanged Four, because your works (and our love) can be for those individual relationships too! We’ll be sharing some fic and art that we adore which depict them, and hope you’ll enjoy and go shower the creators in comments and kudos/likes!! And oh, hey, if it serves as propaganda for you to go create your own things? Win-win.

This week, we're doubling up. We're spotlighting both Dangel and Sprusilla. First up, the elders - Dangel. The first two members of the famous Fanged Four, Darla and Angel have the longest canon romance of any recurring characters in the Buffyverse. They are the only two characters who each get to meet the other in all three states of transformation: human, vampire, and vampire with a soul. They kill each other, save each other, betray each other, betray OTHERS for each other, and love each other in a story that reaches truly epic scale, along the way becoming the only pairing that produces biological offspring together as well as delivering the very first and very last lines of dialogue in the televised shows. They are the foundation of the most fearsome foursome in canon history and the literal definition of found family. While Angel is repeatedly forced to witness Darla's death over the course of both series and their relationship ends in tragedy, we can always hold out hope that Darla will be resurrected (again) and these two will finally get their fair shot at happily ever after.

In this post, we'll be sharing the delightful Dangel works from 2024's February Fangfest and Fanged Four Family Bingo. Enjoy! And don't forget to leave a comment and kudos :D

Fanart

Title: Control Artist: Girlpire Rating: Explicit (Fucking Machines, Femdom, Bottom!Angel, An abundance of onomatopoeia) Medium: Digital Art Summary: [Girlpire] might have been wrong. THIS is the dirtiest thing [she's] ever drawn. :D

Title: Darla and Angel Through the Years Artist: Ifer Rating: Gen Audiences (Self-Described Eye Strain Art, Blood and Romance, Bloody Handholding) Medium: Digital Art Summary: Illustration for February Fangfest 2024

Fanfiction

Title: Adult Material Author: Vampbrat Rating: Explicit (Bloody Great Reconnections, Choking, Porn and Popcorn ) Length: 1,040 words Setting: Post-Series Summary: The most divorced vamps in California tentatively attempt to reestablish a connection.

Title: His Proper Place Author: Harlow Rating: Explicit (Pegging, Punishment, Season's Beatings) Length: 671 words Setting: Ambiguous, Pre-Series Summary: Darla is displeased that her lover has spent Valentine's day committing atrocities without her. She decides to teach him a lesson.

Title: Still Life in the Deserts of the World Author: Girlpire Rating: Explicit (Existential Crises and Nude Modelling, Slaughterhouse Things, Zoo Life, Mental Health Issues, Sex, OCs Who Will Steal Your Heart) Length: 20,064 words Setting: 1977 Summary: It's February of 1977. The first Star Wars movie hasn't hit theaters, Elvis is alive, and a lonely vampire with a soul is working two part-time jobs in Bridgeport, Connecticut, still teaching himself how to survive. This is a snapshot of Angel's life in the days leading up to the tragic encounter in the donut shop in Orpheus.

This next fic features various combinations of the Fanged Four (and a few other Aurelians), but it is very much Dangel-centric throughout:

Title: A Divine Comedy in the House of Flies Author: QueennHalloween Rating:Explicit (An Assortment of Kinks, Dubcon, Pregnancy, Family Orgy, Angst and Feels, Contains Fanart) Length: 38,270 words Setting: The Afterlife, Various Parts of Darla's Memory Summary: Darla is dead… again. It's the only thing she's actually sure of.

[painsandconfusion]

idk if anyone's asked this already but i was going through some of my old stuff recently and i found the ideas for an original character i made at like. eight. they weren't very comprehensive or creative but they were funny looking so. and it got me thinking, do you remember your very first oc? how did the idea come to you? what happened to them?

me, personally, it was a minecraft mod. yup.

I do. Vividly. I latched onto her and started to write a stttuuuuuuupid bad vampire horror romance thing? But I hated romance and loved whump so I just never wrote any of the romance part XD

Fun little tidbit about me: Since she was my gateway to writing and learning that I love creating stories and lore, I actually have her as my icon.

This is Charlotte Ross.

Idk man she gets whumped by a vampire, then saved from that encounter by a different vampire who kinda yanderes her specifically so he can trial run being around people without flipping out and killing someone. So like. He saved her and is caretakery, but specifically in that 'well I saved you sooooo it's not as bad if I kill you on accident..right?' kinda way.

Blablabla whatever they fall in love or something and work on finding a cure for both him and his brother (origional whumper vamp guy).

Voila.

Hated that book, but had SO much fun writing it.

I remember writing that first whump scene and I got so high on that feeling. My hands were shaking so hard and my door was locked and it was the dead of night and I was just thriving on those whumperflies. And I thoughht to myself '...this is the stuff I want to find in books and movies. I...I can just..write it myself..?? and it's not bad??? It's really good actaully??' (it was not, but it was GOOD FOR ME).

Anywho, that's my writers origin story. Idk I was like 15. Surprisingly, I'd not gotten into writing before that. The only other short story I'd written was in 7th grade for an assignment and it got published in a magazine after my teacher begged me to let her enter it in a contest and it won like second place?? That one was about a bird who lost her nest. She wasn't really an oc though. I didn't click with her and she didn't have a name, the whole thing was a metaphor.

Ig that should have been my first clue that I like and am good at this, but it wasn't :D

Patpatpat for baby Shea for trying. She got there eventually.

[fdelopera]

Hi! I haven't been keeping up to date with the Moon Knight comics recently (the romance with Tigra kind of put me off and i losing steam with the vamp arc) but I've been looking forward to city of the dead (big fan of the show) and your tags about it/the writer have me extremely nervous, what has he said about the title and system?

hi Anon! i'm cautiously looking forward to City of the Dead.

however, some things that the author, David Pepose, has said have given me a lot of pause.

in a recent interview, he made it clear that this was Marc's story. he's essentially ignoring that Moon Knight are a system. in fact, it seems that Steven and Jake will not appear, or if they do, their appearances will be brief.

Pepose describes that in his run, Marc will detach his soul from his body to travel to the City of the Dead to rescue a young boy. but Steven and Jake seem to be an afterthought to that, if they factor in at all. instead, the main focus seems to be showing Marc fighting a bunch of bad guys that he's killed in past runs.

even worse, it doesn't seem that Marc will confer with Steven and Jake before taking this drastic action, nor does it seem that Steven and Jake will have any role in this plan. (unfortunately, it's all too common for Marvel writers to treat Steven and Jake as an afterthought in their own comic.)

the thought of a headmate just … up and leaving like that is horrifying, but Pepose doesn't seem to have considered that. and what of Steven and Jake, who are (presumably) still in the earthly realm? Pepose hasn't considered that either, it seems.

Pepose describes that he's written Marc as having "questionable mental health" -- which in itself is uncomfortable language -- but there seems to be no acknowledgement of their DID.

this is a point of advocacy. if an author writes about a character who has been established as having DID, but then they ignore the fact that they're a system, and treat the system host as if they were a singlet … that's ableist -- at best, it's highly questionable.

if an author doesn't know how to write about a system, they need to do one of two things -- educate themselves on how to write about a system, or write about a different character. it's that simple.

all that said, i've still pre-ordered the first two issues of City of the Dead. i'm not buying it for Pepose's lackluster writing. i'm buying it because i want to support Layla El-Faouly becoming a character in Marvel comics canon. i want her to show up in other Marvel properties, and one of the best way to do that right now is to buy the comics issues she's in.

[3gremlins]

okay so somehow my thembo druid managed to Steven Universe their way to the "good" ending with astarion's romance (after quite a LOT of save scumming and everyone applying skill buffs to them, because we are not good at persuasion checks in this house) and it *is* worth it but getting there was so hard.

a lot of the guides i looked at mentioned the global consequences of the end of the pale elf questline but not the personal ones (for the romance/astarion) so i've written out each of the possible endings if you want to go in knowing/with a plan (and also drew little comics)

spoilery thoughts, art and path recs behind cut ⬇️

i tried all the other options you can do with the end of his personal quest all of them SANS ONE are fucking tragic, so when you get to that one persuasion check absolutely do not fail it whatever you do (unless you like tragedy, then you do you ofc).

you've got a chance to save post cazador fight/before the important cutscenes so def do that!

major spoilers below here ⬇️ .

.

.

. i was kinda gratified that despite all appearances my "kind to children and animals, maybe a bit naive" druid tav was actually the right choice to get him there (and not an evil/morally grey aligned character as i've seen a lot of people say they're going to romance him on).

like not compromising on their values was what did it, not just letting him do whatever he wants (i did try the worst path first which felt bad b/c it went against my tav's core hard lines so glad i re-did it instead of writing it off)

here are the choices:

bad ending #1 -> prevent him from doing the ritual but fail the persuasion check (that convinces him it's not really what he wants). he gets real upset at your lack of support, tells you to go fuck yourself, and leaves permanently :c bad ending #2 (worst one imho) -> help him finish the ritual. the power consumes him, he loses all sense of self. all your other companions hate it (take big relationship approval hits), you have to kill the gur* on your way out. you will either have to break up or become his spawn (he will esp hate you and himself if you do the latter), his personality completely changes and it's really fucking sad (upside, he's very powerful now so i guess if you want him to be tankier purely for combat...) T.T

bad ending #3 ->*same as #2 except on your way out, you side with the gur instead and have to kill astarion. he will be permanently dead :c

the one good ending (for ast/romance) -> prevent him from doing the ritual by convincing him that it's not really what he wants (this is the persuasion check that you cannot fail). you get some lovely closure scenes with him afterwards and the rest of your party approves (he will be stuck w/vamp weaknesses for post endgame stuff probably)

so yeah there's lots of ways this can go off the rails, the core thing with his romance is pretty much giving him back his agency but also being willing to stand up and be the guard rail when he gets tempted by things that are objectively bad for him (he's def got a self destructive/addictive streak).

It was a bit difficult to navigate b/c he does like it when you do low-key crimes early on (stealing, lying) and protecting him (the gur hunter, the other vamps) so you need a bit of that to win approval i think? but at the end of the day, your tav having integrity and believing he's got integrity and making him believe it is the more important thing.

it was hard but totally worth it, his funny little squawks when he realizes you like him are so sweet and cute 10/10 will probably romance several more times lol

[psalacanthea]

Vampires, Romance, and Other Dead Things- Ch. 7

a new chapter in the Modern AU astarion x drow bard tav story found HERE! Having set up a counter-ambush to an anticipated attack from the other vampire spawn, now all Zyn has to do is drag his ass onstage. He promised Shadowheart one live show, and afterward they'll draw out the servants of Astarion's mysterious vamp daddy.

But Zyn's used to working alone, and it's starting to cause problems.

...

Certain the Harpers were shadowing her, she’d found a back street that didn’t look like it would damage too much if there was to be a scuffle here.  Between a half-dozen old buildings converted into multi-housing units there was an empty lot.  There was a No Excavation notice on one of the walls, which explained why it was here.  Seemed like this place was over one of the many dangerous structures under Baldur’s Gate.

Maybe caves.  Or a drop into the Undercity, like the place by hers she’d dumped Aradin’s corpse down.  A scan showed no convenient dumping spots, however.  A broken stone bench, a lot of weeds, and a few bags of garbage.

“Hey Vamp Juniors,” she called, stepping dead-center between the buildings, gazing up at the sky.  How funny would it be if they were up there, being trailed by invisible Harpers?  Stupid vampires.  “I’m here for my money!  My friends are bringing your guy!”

She stood with her hands in the pockets of her jacket, feeling arrogant enough to do it.  They’d cobbled together a pretty good trap.  No way they’d figure it out.

“Didn’t you refuse the offer?  We were told to get rid of you,” an unfamiliar voice said from the shadows, snide and superior.

He walked out of the shadows with another vampire beside him, scarlet eyes glowing, casual upscale bar look slightly impeded by the…well, by the face.  And the hair.  They hair was the worst, really, with the poofing, and the– well, it looked like a guy with straight hair had tried to make his look kind of like Astarion’s.

His face also gave that impression, weirdly enough.

Budget Astarion.

Creepy, but also triggering to…certain instincts enhanced by her having reached out and touched misfortune.  “I don’t make it a habit to speak with men, they’re too lacking in reason and emotional control.”  She turned her attention to the vampire next to him, tiefling woman with scarlet skin.  Glowing eyes.  Hopefully it meant the vamp daddy could…see out of their eyes or something.

She wanted him to watch.

Angry.

“Do you want him or not?” she asked, noting movement out of the corner of her eye.  A trash can lid, jostled, fell to the ground with a thud.  Bad luck for them.  There were more than two of them, for sure.  “And if you try to sneak behind me , I’ll teleport to the roof and fireball this space, so you can either get out here or you can get crispy.”

“Clumsy,” the elven vamp said, voice high and mocking.  Almost childish.  Okay, maybe she wasn’t the one to speak to.  “Sister Dalyria, isn’t that embarrassing for you?”

“Violet, stop,” Great Value Astarion said.

“I was sympathizing.  Everyone’s always picking on me,” Violet pouted, crossing her arms under her breasts.

Zyn couldn’t tense up as two more vamps stalked out of the shadows– a wistful-looking elven woman and the long-haired shirtless guy from before.  Four was still doable.  They were fine.  “Okay, so I can see the tropes we’re going with her.  Insane child vampire was always a favorite of mine.  Bet you’ve got all sorts of creepy dolls!”

Violet glared at her.

“But I can’t quite place you.  Comic relief?”  she suggested to badly-cloned Astarion.

“Can we kill the prattling bitch, already?” he asked, scoffing and taking a step back.

All of their attention shifted, fast as a hastened monk, as the sound of voices started echoing from where Zyn had come from.  All five of them stood poised in silence as the voices and footsteps came closer, people finally emerging from the alley.  Astarion was being carried over Karlach’s shoulder.

Through the high of bullying, Zyn felt a tingle of amusement.  Of course he’d made Karlach carry him.  What a bitch.

“Got him secured?”  Zyn called.

“Put me down, you brute~” Astarion called with posture still completely relaxed, voice lilting a little too theatrically.  She wouldn’t be surprised if his cheek was propped up in his hand.  

How was he a bad liar, on top of everything?

The man was in politics!

[semper-legens]

29. Hidden, by PC and Kristin Cast

Owned: No, library Page count: 302 My summary: The truth is out. The world know how terrible Neferet is - or, at least, they should. But while she's been shunned from the House of Night, Neferet is working her evil magic on the humans surrounding it. She's conned herself into the mayor's office, into a penthouse suite, and into a dangerous position for Zoey and her friends. The Darkness still needs sacrifices. And what better victim than Grandma Redbird? My rating: 1/5 My commentary:

Speedrun, speedrun, only got three more of these let's go! What else is there to say about the House of Night at this point? Not a lot. It's still bad, it's still offensive and bigoted, it's still a giant piece of shit. And I'm still getting a perverse kind of joy from seeing just how bad it is. Seriously, though I'm going to be glad to see the back of this series, I don't actually regret having read it. If nothing else, it's a great what-not-to-do when it comes to crafting a story. Just do the absolute opposite of House of Night, and you've made a reasonably solid story! Yay! Anyway, let's get into it.

So, picking up from the pointlessness last time, we kick off here with Lenobia and a fire in the stables. And we learn one more thing about Lenobia! Is it about her as a character, or about her relationship to sex and romance? Surprise! The latter. Yeah, turns out Lenobia's pointless sexy cowboy is actually the reincarnation of her lost love from when she first came to America in the 1700s. After he died (because she failed to save him, natch) she swore she'd never love another person. Travis is that guy's soul come back to her after so long, and it's a stupid plot point for two reasons. Reason one - the dead lover was a black man from New Orleans, while Travis is explicitly white. Which…is not a good look. Black lover is fridged, white lover is endgame. Given that the only other men of colour are Kalona and Rephaim (maybe? I don't remember if Rephaim is actually described as looking Cherokee) this is not a particularly good look. Reason two - we're just doing soulmates, I guess. Lenobia has exactly one person she's allowed to be in a relationship ever. Zoey's thing with Heath (more on that later) is a very similar vibe, they're just ~cosmically connected~ and so they've gotta be endgame. People aren't allowed to develop attractions to each other! Don't be silly! You've got to get with the one person you're cosmically destined to be with! Bleh.

Most of the ongoing plot of this one concerns Neferet's rise in human society, a plot point that…does not really go anywhere. It's not even that Neferet needs to struggle to get to the top in human society, she literally just goes up to the mayor like 'you support me unconditionally now' and he's like 'duh you're hot okay sure'. It's bizarre how mundane the conflict between Neferet and Team Zoey is here. Team Zoey are trying to make her seem like a disgruntled ex-employee, and both sides are using the news media to influence people to their way of thinking. Which, given that Neferet's 'exposing' Stark as a murderer, feels…disproportionate? The worldbuilding, or lack thereof, is being thrown into focus here. Surely the police would have something to say about Stark being a murderer? Like, it's established that the vamps are allowed by the police to take care of their own security and policing and such, which is fine, but a) this has not come up so often and b) the amount of vamps there are in the world makes this suspect? At various points, the worldwide vamp population has been implied to both be substantial and not so much. Almost every celebrity has been said to be a vamp in this world, and yet vamp numbers are actually small enough that the world governments apparently just let them take care of themselves with no other oversight. Vampires are supposed to be both incredibly powerful and influential and also a minority, both at the same time? It's vague to the point where you're obviously not meant to think about it, but incidents like this just bring into light the fact that it hasn't been well thought through. Hey, Casts? If you're not gonna worldbuild this stuff, don't bring it up.

More Aurox…ugh. Once again, we're circling the 'badboy redeemed' trope. Honestly, it wouldn't even bug me that much if it wasn't exactly the damn same every time it showed up. The Boy has done some shitty things, but feels bad about them and wants to change. Some people won't give him the time of day, but at least one other person, usually his love interest, is ride or die for him and totally believes he has changed. Over time, the change is proved to be correct, usually with one big heroic action. Stark, Rephaim, and Kalona have all had this arc. Can we have a different arc please. It's getting boring.

So the big climax to this one comes when Neferet kidnaps Grandma Redbird to use her as a sacrifice to the Darkness, which means it's time to talk about Grandma a bit more. Grandma is Zoey's Cherokee grandmother. That is also the extent of her characterisation. She is loving, forgiving, spiritual, and always knows the right thing to say. Everyone loves her. She has no flaws. She is perfect. She knows everything. And she's boring as hell. She's not a character, she's a plot device! Grandma Redbird exists either to be a perfect moral guide or to give exposition about Cherokee culture and spiritual practice (which, as we've talked about previously, isn't by necessity actual Cherokee culture). Oh, and to be in danger. This is, what, the third time her life's been endangered? There's no tension in it anymore, because there's no way that the Casts will actually have anything bad happen to her. Zoey's mother can die, because she was a bitch, but Grandma? Nah, she's too good to die. I never got the feeling here that anything bad was actually gonna happen to her, because she's bounced back from being the damsel in distress so many times.

And finally…good Lord, I cannot believe that it has taken me this long to realise exactly what's wrong with Nyx as a plot element. To be fair, I haven't given much thought to Nyx as a character to this point; she literally just shows up to be a perfect mother goddess and be right about everything and then disappear. But the climax of this book comes about when Zoey and co are scared and unsure of what to do about Neferet kidnapping Grandma Redbird. Zoey prays to Nyx, and essentially gets the answer that she needs to stop cowering in the darkness and actually do something. All very fine and well, and even a half-decent plot beat. The thing is that how the plot actually resolves is that Kramisha gives Zoey one of her prophetic poems, and it tells Zoey exactly what to do to save the day. And since Nyx gives Kramisha her visions, this is essentially just Nyx ssaving the day with Zoey as a conduit. And the problem with all of this is that it's the worst of the conservative Christian idea of God and humankind's relationship to God. God is infallible and doing what He wants will always solve your problem. Nyx is always right, and finding what Nyx wants you to do, even if it's hard, is always the right path. Zoey has free will, but pretty much any path other than specifically what Nyx wants her to do is usually wrong. I don't know much about what the Casts believe theologically, but I really wouldn't be surprised if it was a 'raised Christian, switched to 70s Neo-Paganism' kind of thing, because Nyx here just reads as if the Casts switched Christian God for a mother goddess without really changing anything about how they percieve this deity and their relationship to said deity. I've been getting the vibe as we go through the series that Nyx does some shitty things, but I'm not sure I was meant to? Her forgiveness of people like Kalona and Rephraim seems overly punitive at times, but at this late stage in the series there's no room for that to be an arc or anything, I think we're supposed to take as read that Nyx is perfect. And that just skeeves me out in general.

Next, I told you it was a speedrun! The penultimate installment of the House of Night series!

[lestcat-de-lioncourt]

I’ve really gotten into The Sweetest Man like wow, I didn’t think I liked the art on the cover but I really love it, and it’s slightly different to my usual art style I go towards. I started reading on Lezhin so you can find it there! But there’s other places too if you don’t have that.

It goes by a few different names depending on who’s translation/language you’re reading, which are:

달콤한 남자, Sweet Boy, Sweet Man, Dalkomhan Namja, The Sweetest Man, as far as I’m aware.

There’s over 100 chapters and I’ve been fully immersed in it this week and almost done.

I usually struggle to write reviews as they’re hard to focus on usually/stressful/I am neurodivergent with ADHD but I think this manhwa is pretty cool and I’ve not seen many people around reading it!

If you like vampire storylines and don’t mind blood, this could be fun! It’s adult fiction but there’s no nudity, just some slightly spicy scenes alluding to it sometimes.

Summary:

“I found out that my friend is a vampire. Would you believe me? My friend for 15 years, Kim Hyung Woo, got drunk and was brought to my house. Then he started blabbering ridiculous things like, he's a vampire, and since he just bit me, I might become a vampire, too… And that now he's thirsty.”

Initially I wasn’t keen as it started out as the “I’m not gay omg are u gay eeeehhhrrfv” and I didn’t like that and don’t like that trope but it moved on pretty quickly to them knowing and realising they were, and has been much better since. I don’t like tropes that act like that throughout the whole thing/a lot as well, being a queer dude it’s not fun to experienceeee.

It’s a corny vampire romance thing as well and I love to see it. Wars amongst vamps and trying to change the politics and negative beliefs the vampires have gained about humans whilst their everything is humans and they love them even as they yell they hate them.

I like the aspect of the now immortal humans who have been bitten to be used for blood for eternity have more powers than they realised, like dominating a room full of vampires with their scent of blood to make vampires talk to their knees and do whatever then want rather than just “blood smell, auto vamp attack” all of the time. I like the ideas going on in it rather than the usual “blood drank hooman dead or full vampire now omg forever blood lust sad times”. I like a usual vampire story too but I’ve seen a lot of that and it’s nice to have fresh idea for well known supernatural beings.

[mermaidsirennikita]

hi caroline! you give the best recommendations so i was wondering if you knew about any historical romance with lesbians/wlw? thanks ♥️

Awww, thanks! That's very sweet. I try.

I do have some recs! I wish there were more, but it's definitely a market that's growing.

The Conquering of Tate the Pious by Sierra Simone. A novella in the Villain I'd Like to F... collection (I don't know that this is still available, but if it isn't when you read this, the authors pretty much always release the novellas individually after time passes once the collection is yanked). It's a medieval erotic romance, and one of the heroines (Tate) is an abbess at a very unique convent, whereas the other is a Norman conqueror who's taken up her husband's cause after his death. It's a little dark and twisted but very hot. Things are done with the hilt of a knife :)))

Olivia Waite writes historical wlw books. My favorite is A Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics--it's a bit softer, as most Waite books are, and very romantic.

A Little Light Mischief is Cat Sebastian's romcom-y wlw novella, and though it isn't SUPER sexy (there's one sex scene, though--it is a novella, to be fair) I would recommend it if you want a gentle romance. Cat is always great.

If you're open to a historical vampire romance, I looooved Samara Breger's A Long Time Dead. It's set in the Victorian era, and it begins with Poppy, a sex worker, waking up to find out that she's been transformed into a vampire and is now in the middle of a very complicated sapphic love triangle between a villainous lady vamp, and a slightly less villainous lady vamp, the uptight Roisin. It's hot, it's funny, it's dark, there's praise kink involved......

6/6 sees the release of Alexis Hall's sapphic fantasy historical Mortal Follies. It's like... Jane Austen with magic and (light, but hot) sex and lesbians. It's romantic and alluring and funny, and there is a Shakespearean vibe, and it's just so good.

I'm finishing up An Island Princess Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera, and it's exactly what you want. Lesbians in Victorian Paris, illicit affairs, a business bitch one and a flighty artistic one, HOOOOOT ravishment, intensity, major love declarations. It's so good.

[icelogged]

see the taglist project [live reconstruction]

long obnoxious tags with deeply personal meanings my beloved! I add on as i go!

[last updated 2023/05/12 AD]

#evidence of life - original posts

#cold #warm  - vibe tags

blog/main project tags: #they say there's something in our seas / we should all be careful / i'm not swimming anyway / i'm too busy moping #thesis

organizational tags that group specific motifs

#and if that means changing shape if that means putting together the unexpected that is any monster's ancient right - monster grrl trans wrath

#behind you - darkness

#christ haunted - Christianity related

#crime scene - not real crimes scenes just settings for writing or art

#deer in headlights - deers, stags etc

#doll bones - dolls, dollkin

#flower girls play lover grave games in the courtyard - wlw coven monster packs

#fortress of cold stone - vamp castle vibe

#found face down on the ground - body dumping grounds

#freezer bride - freezer bride aestheticisms

#gallons of the stuff - BLOOD

#he promised to kill what he loved - a bad man

#holy backrooms - backrooms liminal spaces

#i'm left in the fumes of a guilty machine - SA related

#if you have the stomach for it - romance tag uno

#i wanted it to be home - my house in nebraska is a cottage in *grey hound bus passes*

#left blood on the oil painting - reds

#lightning hit my wings - fallen angel, angelcore

#like a fist like a knife - romance tag dos

#mermaid blood - mermaid aestheticisms, fresh and sea water

#smile you're on camera - found footage vibes

#tied to a tree and fed strawberries - weird forest date

#waterlogged - waterlogged corpse vibes

#winter fairy - winter, snow, winter coquette

media

#art #moodboard #web weaving 

#horror

#[haunted] cabin fever - the shining

#a tragedy in three parts: daughter wife and mother - the story of a preacher’s daughter wife and mother as told by Ethel Cain

#by a cord of sticky flesh - dead ringers

#canadian coming of age documentary - ginger snaps

#cannibal apologist - Hannibal NBC

#girls will say i know a place and take you to silent hill - silent hill

#inherited divine suffering - hereditary

#la casa awoo - la casa lobo

#lollipop chainsaw massacre- TCM

#maddened by the breath of god - Possession (1981)

#my auntie buffalo bill - the silence of the lambs, Hannibal (2001)

#shakespearean tragedies for magical girls - 魔法少女まどか☆マギカ

#tests to gauge one’s will to survive through physical or psychological torture for rehabilitation to some and valentine’s gift to others - saw franchise

#vroom vroom (1996) - crash

#wouldst thou like to live deliciously - the VVitch (2015)

#music #music box - audio files

#chelsea wolfe #deftones #ethel cain #nicole dollanganger

personal 

#face reveal - about me /silly (actual pictures of me are in evidence of life plus my icon and header if you’re curious)

#gender class study material - my attempts at gender absorption #gender: broadcast - how I’m tryna be 🏳️‍⚧️🤍🥩

#make it go away - this blog’s comfort tag

#memory fuel - photos that break through dissociative fog

#my meals - self explanatory yay edrecovery

#wardrobe - stuff I’d wear, fashion, looks

#wrapped in ribbon - favourite posts

lovermaker.exe / ocs with left beef

#huckleberry

places

#eternal rest - cemeteries, graves

#manitoba #ontario #saskatchewan

Entities [leads to their tumblr unless stated otherwise because you should check them out]

#camojacketfag #churchrummagesale #deejayphoto #hayden anhedonia #isabelle adjani [leads to tag] #michael donovan #plastiboo #shelley duvall [leads to tag] #tearsandtheteeth #user ojibwa

tags so people i want to show stuff don’t have to dig through their @s

#march #my twin God made our two bodies two minds one soul and yeah it was good

etc #collection - trinkets and things lotsa knives :3 #friends - animals #BATS !!! - self explanatory #message in a bottle - asks #visual stim - self explanatory #words - self explanatory

backlist / warning

#ed tw ed tw in tags - not a ed blog im just a girl with an ed that runs a blog and sometimes complains about it

#horror - this a horror blog and content that could be unsettling content can be untagged! the horror tag mostly covers horror media specifically! if you’d follow but this is a problem i suggest stopping by my main instead :3

#mdni - minors don’t interact

#nsft - i doubt this tag will be will be used. for example this text post would not be tagged [silly and not graphic but alludes to sexuality] nor would this painting [“artistic” nudity] i don’t plan on posting anything that would warrant that tag but it’s what I would use in the event that I do

#sfx gore - self explanatory real life cuts, bruises, injuries, medical, violent text posts will be untagged unless someone requests something specifically tagged. remember blood has a tag. there will be no promotion of self harm or irl/non-SFX gore imagery.

[genesisn64]

I had probably the most interesting dream for some sort of romance story maybe just an hour ago.

Backstory: royal family attacked by vampires, king; dead, queen; dead, crown prince and only heir; afflicted w/ vampirism.

So essentially what had happened was the court had already been trying for several generations to try and BREED the vampirism out of what remains of the royal bloodline by allowing random maids to be impregnated by the crown prince. And as soon and one its pregnant, and has been for at least a month, they take the baby's father away to be executed, and treat the baby's mother with a much care to ensure the baby's born healthy. As you can probably imagine, two things are happening:

1: The royal bloodline is pretty much completely bastardized after several generations of this

And

2: this plan to breed out the vampirism is going about as well as trying to put out a house fire with gasoline

So at the point we get to in my dream, the courts is desperate for their plans to work so they can get back to normal. A pair of maids is assigned to the care of this generations crown prince, whom they court has managed to keep locked up with some ancient anti-vamp magic. The crown prince, in this instance, is this tall, sexy blonde beast of a man, who takes particular interest in one of the maids assigned to his care; a petite, meek little thing that's a cute as a button but others call her plain. She's really non-confrontational and a little naïve so it takes a good long while for the prince to get her comfortable enough with him that he can sleep with her.

And as you may have guessed, yes he ends up falling in love with her, and yes, he managed to get her pregnant on the first try. Well, its been about a month of the maid being pregnant and her and the prince seeing each other in secret, and it finally happens; they take the prince away to be executed and leave his lover devestated that she'll never see him again.

And that's about the point I woke up.

[yakumtsaki]

-S̷O̴ Y̷O̷U̴'̴R̵E R̷E̶A̵L̵L̴Y K̷N̴O̵C̴K̸E̵D U̵P A̷G̵A̸I̴N🧟 -I most certainly am! -A̵N̸D W̴H̵O̷'̶S G̸O̵N̵N̸A T̵A̵K̷E C̷A̶R̵E O̷F T̶H̸I̴S̸ O̸N̷E🧟 -Aw Sandy, I think you already know the answer to that question!

-I H̸A̴T̵E M̶Y "L̵I̶F̷E̵"🧟

Don’t worry Sands, I have just the thing to cheer you up-

-a new zombie friend! iVan hates Aiden so much he wasn’t satisfied with him dying horribly, so welcome back, Aiden!

-𝚈𝙴𝚂, 𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙴𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙽𝙰𝙻 𝚂𝚄𝙵𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶. 𝙷𝙰 𝙷𝙰.

-Y̴O̵U R̵O̸B̸O̶T B̷A̶S̶T̶A̷R̴D, I̶’̵L̴L K̷I̸L̴L Y̵O̵U🧟

-I̴'̵L̴L K̵I̵L̴L Y̵O̷U T̷O̶O̴, M̴E̸T̶A̶L̷L̴I̵C A̴S̶S̶H̸O̷L̴E🧟‍♀️ -G̴E̴T H̷I̶M, S̸A̵N̴D̵Y🧟 -𝚁𝙾𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙵𝙻𝙾𝙿𝚂, 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙰𝚈𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚂 𝙾𝙵𝙵 𝙼𝙴. -R̷I̷P H̷I̵S C̴O̷R̸D O̵F̴F🧟 -𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁. 𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁.

So it turns out Aiden is a romance sim, just like our girl, perfect match! Go on, Aiden, charm her!

-W̸A̸A̷A̶A̵H I HA̶T̶E B̴E̶I̴N̴G̸ ̵A Z̷O̶M̶B̸IE🧟 -W̵A̶A̴A̴A̶H ̸M̴E T̴O̶O̴🧟‍♀️

Ok Aiden, not what we were going for, buddy..

-M̷A̷Y̴B̶E W̶E C̸A̶N B̵E S̶A̷D Z̷O̸M̴B̶I̵E̸S..T̵O̸G̵E̷T̵H̸E̶R?🧟 -M̸A̵Y̷B̵E W̸E̸ C̷A̵N̴!🧟‍♀️

Awww he finally got his first kiss🧟💙🧟‍♀️

Boy did ACR get to work, I didn’t even have time to take off Sandy’s skilling helmet but whatever, I ship this, it’s so cute! 

CYNESWITH WTF

-How dare you sleep with someone else after I banged you once and then refused to kiss you 11 times, huhu?!?!?!🌸

Wow Cyn if I was you I’d be more upset about all the corpse bodily fluids on my bed.

-That’s it, I’m taking over Felina’s upbringing! I can’t have that dead slut anywhere near my grandchild! Why is she stinky?💗

She needs a diaper change, Cyn.

-Oh wow nevermind🌸

Sophito fulfills his second LTW, topping the architecture caree aka the most useless job in this neighborhood since we literally have no buildings. Amazing choice, Soph!

-Congrats bro, we’re the most successful people ever! -And the best at avoiding interaction with our children!  -Tell me about it, Spice literally thinks Wilfred is his dad! -Felina is about to become a toddler and I’ve never been in the same room as her!

I HATE YOU BOTH

And iVan tops the medical career, where I can only assume he worked as an eye laser. Congrats iVan, now that you’re permaplat it’s time to quit and go back to your actual job of being our butler because I don’t know how we’re gonna keep two kids alive otherwise.

-𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁. 𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁.

Nice try, get your ass to work.

Awww, very Iron Giant!

-Goo goo? -𝚂𝙷𝚄𝚃 𝚄𝙿.

Kitana gives birth to 3 beautiful Mortal Kombat kittens who I name Shinok, Sindel, and Shao-

-and all 3 of them have this completely deranged personality!

And Servilia gives birth to 3 puppies right after, who I name Valentino, Valeria, and Veronica and are thankfully not criminally insane. Welcome, babies!

It’s a nice calm night with a lot of elderly attic slow dancing and then I have.. an “””amazing””” idea. So because the lag was unreal with the new pets and I’m starting to feel unironically bad for Sandy, I decided now that she has found love it would be fun to get her and Aiden married and move them into the creepy Tricou house! Sounds good on paper, right? Right??

So I move them into the Tricou house and then I’m like man you know what would be even more fun?? Resurrecting the Tricous and making them vamps and then all the supernaturals can live in the big creepy house together! So I was googling how to resurrect them because I hadn’t done it in ages, and then I realize Don is literally a faux Tricou as one of Jon Smith’s lovechildren! So I’m like great, this is gonna be super easy!

So Sandy and Aiden are in the Tricou house, I move the graves that were in the cemetery to the house, I invite Don over and make him temporarily selectable, and he resurrects Jon! Then I send Don on his way back to our house and the rest of the Tricous resurrect each other and become vamps and I’m like great, we’re done here! So I return to our house where it’s time for Felina’s birthday-

-AND SEE THIS. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE

-You invited us🧛

I ABSOLUTELY DIDN’T

OH MY GOD FML

Because the lot wasn’t about-to-crash enough, it’s at this exact moment that Jojo and iVan decide to turn into werewolves.. 

..AND LIZ DECIDES TO GIVE BIRTH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME PEOPLE

It’s another ginger (HOW??) and this one’s a boy and his name is Bartholomew, but let me tell you this was the most overshadowed birth of all time, it’s a miracle I managed to take this pic. Welcome Bartholomew, sorry for your name but it was the only one I could think of in my panic!

Also completely overshadowed: Felina’s birthday because I was evicting the Tricous as it was happening. But here she is, she’s so cute! 

-Say hi to grandma, Felina!💗

Cyn ENOUGH.

And here’s Felina’s personality, it’s actually pretty ok for our standards?? Good job, baby!

It’s a new day after the Tricou hordes have been repelled and it’s time to play ‘how many members of this household will interact with the kids before their parents do’. I mean even Don is stepping up, this is EMBARRASSING.

-It’s ok Bartholomew, grandpa Don is here for you!🖤

OH GOD NOT YOU TOO