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thecapricunt1616 · 4 months

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Maca Root - (c.b. one-shot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): By the time you heard keys in the door, you were already in your pajamas. He came in, clearly uncomfortable. “Shit you made dinner f’r us?! God you’re amazing baby” he wraps you in a hug. He smelt lightly like grease and sweat, but it was a smell you’d never dislike. It was distinctly Bear. Your Bear. “I did, you deserve somethin’ hot hm? How was your day?” You asked softly and kissed his jaw, and down his neck, before rubbing over his chest lightly and getting on your knees to unlace his sneakers to which he sighed gratefully, as his back was killing him after scrubbing the floors for over an hour.

♡ Chapter Inspo: Maca Root is considered a sacred feminine master plant in Peru and is involved in spiritual ceremonies for those wanting to unlock, release, heal, and bring harmony back to the body.

♡ Summary: You cook for Carmy for a change so he has a real dinner for once, & he thanks you with his mouth. Oh! And he tells you he wants to make things official.

♡ W/C: 3,330

♡ Posted Date: 05/10/2024

♡ A/N: Hello! I am literally SO dead I watched the eras tour live stream from Tess on TikTok- SHE PUT IN TTPD!! AAA! Anyway HAHA I had to talk abt. it because i'm literally dead, the whole set is FABULOSO!!! Anywhore - I am so happy with the love Vervain is getting omg! Thank you so much again @carmenberzattosgf for the lovely inspiring ask ILY forever! This one-shot is based on this ask ♡ here ♡ thank you so much oh lovely anon! I hope you like this, please send me an ask any time! As always requests are open everyone! Please enjoy :) *Smooches*

♡ Warnings for BTC: !UNEDITED! (We die like men!), NO Use of Y/N, Fem!Reader (Described AFAB), NO use of physical descriptors (Fem!Black!Reader friendly!), Use of pet names, Smut!, F&M oral giving & receiving, fingering.

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞! ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You quietly unlocked up Carmys apartment door, seeing as it was 11:00 and he still wasn’t home. You sighed deeply to yourself, slightly annoyed but slightly having expected this. So you go ahead and clean up the empty water bottles and redbull cans, vacuuming and putting his dirty jeans and tshirts in his washing machine for him and starting a load.

You even found some spaghetti and sauce in the cabinet, starting a pot on the stove knowing he was never later then 12:15, and he always ate when he got home since family service was at 3:00 and 9 hours on his feet rushing around a kitchen absolutely built up quite the appetite.

You stripped his bed and put on fresh sheets for the two of you just in time to strain the pasta, and queue up one of his favorite YouTube cooking channels newest videos. You weren’t sure how he understood anything going on given as they were speaking Russian- but he likes what he likes.

By the time you heard keys in the door, you were already in your pajamas. He came in, clearly uncomfortable. “Shit you made dinner f’r us?! God you’re amazing baby” he wraps you in a hug. He smelt lightly like grease and sweat, but it was a smell you’d never dislike. It was distinctly Bear. Your Bear.

“I did, you deserve somethin’ hot hm? How was your day?” You asked softly and kissed his jaw, and down his neck, before rubbing over his chest lightly and getting on your knees to unlace his sneakers to which he sighed gratefully, as his back was killing him after scrubbing the floors for over an hour.

“Y’re a fuckin angel- I don’t deserve that baby” he tells you this every night, but every night you continue to do it, because he does.

“Come sit bear” you drag him to the couch, gently tugging off his sneakers when he sits and he groans, resting his sore feet on the coffee table

“Oh shit- this is new?” He asked as he saw the tv, grabbing the controller and hitting play on the video of some Russian woman making soup.

“Mmhmm- here baby” you made up his plate and brought it to him with a fork and napkin to see he was already slumping down on the couch with his arms crossed and eyes hooded half asleep, he was exhausted. “Bear-“ you said gently and he woke up quickly, sitting up.

“Wow- thank you sweetheart, fuck this is so nice. I’m so hungry thank you honey” he took the plate and kissed you tenderly. “Wait- fuckin hell princess did you clean? Don’ be doin’ that I told you honey thas’ my job” he told you, twirling a good amount of pasta on his fork and taking a bite

“I did clean because there were empty redbull cans everywhere. And you deserve a clean place to hang out when you aren’t working mm?” You kiss the top of his head before heading back to the kitchen and putting away the rest of the pasta, then washing the dishes.

“Baaaaaabe!” He groans in annoyance when he heard the sink cut on and you washing the dishes you used to make dinner “stop! I can do those ‘fore work” he mumbled through a mouth of spaghetti and you giggle

“Ah yes at 2:00? In 3 hours? When I can just do them now?” You teased “id rather have the extra 5 minutes in bed with you” you told him and he blushed, finishing his food as you finished up the dishes and going to sit back on the couch

“Aht!” You tut “bathroom stinky garlic breath then bed.” You told him and he huffed, having been caught.

“C’mon m’tired babygirl come sit w’me” he said and gave you a pout, tugging your hips. You caught yourself on the back of the couch, hovering over him and refusing to give in and straddle his hips, knowing if you did he’d just roll over, lay down, and fall asleep immediately.

“Carmen” you said softly and he scrunched his nose at the use of his full name.

“Don’ call me that” he mumbled, hugging your torso and nuzzling his face in your belly, sighing tiredly.

“Carmen Anthony” you said in response and you laughed at the dramatic groan that came out of him, like a toddler being scolded. “It’s that time my dear, for you to go brush your teeth. Then you can come to bed and I’ll rub your back” you said and his head shot up

“Really?” He questioned hopefully and you giggle.

“Really truly. Get in that bathroom” you ruffle his hair and shut off the tv before heading to the bedroom. He came in a few minutes later, stripping down to his boxers and laying stomach down.

“Been thinkin’ “ he mumbled as you warm up the lotion in your hands.

“Yeah? What about sweetheart?” You gently rub his tight shoulders and he moaned softly at the contact, letting out one of his tired bear sighs as you called them. Just a long, breathy sigh that ended with a little grumble like an old man how bears did in nature documentaries when settling in for the night.

“ ‘bout us” he said and you smiled a bit, continuing to massage his shoulders and back.

“About us huh? What about us love” you counter. You and Carmy had been seeing eachother for about 4 months now, you’d only really been to the restaurant after closing when everyone has already went home but you had gone once for your sisters birthday - of course you told her you knew a great spot when she asked for recommendations. When he saw your name on the reservation list that night, he thought he was surely hallucinating.

When it was finally your reservation time, he went over to the window and looked over his restaurant. Sure enough, you were sitting there. It took everything in him to not go out there - you looked stunning. He wanted to tell you that, he wanted to get a closer look at what you were wearing. He always loved your outfits because you were into vintage fashion just like he was, one of your favorite dates was to get coffee together and then go thrifting.

But he didn’t, because he wasn’t sure you wanted anyone to know you were dating, but he did make sure to let Richie know to comp the table. He was confused as all hell, even more so when he asked ‘why’ and Carmen snapped at him -

‘I dunno cause it says it’s a fuckin birthday table on the reservation and I’m fuckin’ feelin’ nice? So just comp the table and get off my back, cousin.’

Because he hadn’t ever known another time where Carmy was ‘feeling nice’ before, but nonetheless he did as he was told per usual. Your sister was over the moon excited, gushing about what a great review she would leave and how nice it is they gave a random patron a birthday meal.

You weren’t sure if Carmy was okay with you telling people you were dating - so you agreed and just said it was awesome, pretending that same night the man who had made the meal wasn’t fucking you against his shower wall the night prior.

When he saw you that night, and asked why you never said anything - you told him you didn’t wanna be a bother or make him feel you were owed ‘special treatment’, he told you firmly you were never a bother, and that any time you want to come in to let him know because he’d make sure to get you the best spot in the house and of course you’d never pay him to eat there.

When you asked why he looked at you like you had 3 heads before telling you “cus’ you’re you, it’s my restaurant, and in my restaurant, you don’t pay- got it?” that was the end of the conversation.

“About…I dunno- y’my girl…but I’ve never really told anyone other then you before.” He said and your heart flutters.

His girl.

He’d never said that before - put a claim on you. You’re his girl, now. Not just a girl he’s seeing, not just a ‘friend’ which had been the running name you’d both used to describe your relationship, even though there was always a beat of awkward silence after the word came out of either of your mouths.

“I’m your girl” you repeat and he sits up on his forearm and looks at you

“You seein other people?” He asked seriously.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “No Carmy. You have been the only person for…” you stopped, not wanting to embarrass yourself. You had known you wanted something serious with him from the start but were too embarrassed to admit it. “Some time now. So - yes. What about this do you want people to know?” You asked

“I wanna tell people about you…about us - that we’re- y’know..goin’ steady..is that alright?”

You nodded, a big smile forming on your lips. “Yes. Yes- tell anyone you want to. Can I too?” You asked

In response he turned on his side, pulling you to him and kissing you deeply. His tongue swiped along your lower lip, nose nudging the side of yours gently. You opened your mouth for him, tasting toothpaste and mouthwash on his tongue, you hum softly as you felt his hot breath fan your upper lip in a satisfied huff when your hand found his curls, gently massaging the back of his neck.

His calloused hand finds your lower back, pushing up his white shirt that you’d stolen from his hamper that smelt so distinctly of him you couldn’t help but wear it so when he left you too early in the morning it still felt as if he was with you. He loved seeing you wear his clothes, it drove him insane thinking about you, in his apartment, sleeping in his bed, wearing his shirt. It took up a lot more mental space in the mornings then he’d care to admit.

He rolled the lace hem of your faded patterned strawberry panties that Carmy adored. Even though you were getting warm from all the excitement, goosebumps still appeared on your skin from his gentle caress over your stomach before dipping his fingers in the fabric. You, without even needing to think about it, lifted your thigh for him and he cupped your heat for a moment with his hand, squeezing you with a light pressure.

You whined into his mouth, slack jawed from the contact, and you were no longer kissing eachother but more like breathing into eachothers mouths with the sucking of tongue and lips from Carmy. He spread you out with his forefinger as well as his ring finger, a wet click sound following the action. He dipped his middle finger over your dripping hole and you shiver, a bead of sweat dripping down the back of your neck.

He kissed down your chin, to your jaw, to your neck as he teased your entrance with the pad of his finger. You were a pathetic whimpering mess beneath him already, his hands always made you this way. “Please” you whimper and he kissed your jaw as his finger trailed over your exposed clit from having you spread so well with his fingers, even the gentle movement causing your hips to jerk and a cry to leave your throat

“Mmm always so sensitive f’me” he said, gathering more of the wetness from your pussy that was beginning to drip down the curve of your ass and gush with his movements. You gasp as he slathers that wetness over your bud, before easily rubbing his finger back and forth over it as he sucked a bruise into your collarbone.

Your hips rut into his hand, strings of curses mixed between saying his name until he sticks that middle finger inside with no resistance due to how wet you were, upon entrance his finger made a schlick noise as you were essentially sucking him in, like your pussy itself was begging how you were. “Christ” he muttered into your skin, pumping his finger in and out slowly, curling it every so often in search of that spot.

“Please please- another one” you begged and he adds his ring finger, curling them up together and you nearly sob your knees coming together subconsciously

“Open ‘em baby, c’mon lemme make you cum yeah?” He used his other hand to ease your legs apart to realize your thighs were quivering. “Y’bein such a good girl right now lettin me play w’you.” He said hotly in your ear, rubbing over your shaking thigh sweetly as he curled his fingers into the same spot, pressing with increasing pressure and with his palm, massaging your clit.

Your back arched off the bed, grabbing his forearm with one hand and the sheets with the other, gripping them both tightly and your walls flutter around him. “That’s it. Go ahead pretty girl. My pretty girl” he kissed your forehead gently, and the tender gesture mixed with being called his was enough to throw you into an orgasm that had you seeing stars behind your lids as you cry out his name.

Seeing you this way was his favorite part of the day, and it was so good that he sacrificed at least half an hour of his 5 dedicated to sleeping for it. So good, in fact, that seeing you squirm and writhe, mixed with you sobbing out his name and rambling about how only he has ever made you feel so good, and that you wished you could have him all the time - and his now sticky fingers he was able to palm his cock a few times, before sucking the slick off his fingers - the combination of all of that made him cum in his boxers like a teenager.

You hear him whimper at the tail end of your orgasm and you open your eyes to see him gripping his cock with creamy wet boxers, sucking on his fingers so much there was drool dripping down his chin. You couldn’t help but drop your jaw at how hot the sight was, the way his abs clench and unclench, the way his stomach tightens and releases as the waves of his climax crash over him. He was beautiful.

It wasn’t like you could help yourself. You sat up a bit and got on your knees, he didn’t notice because he was still in the thick of it - and straddled his calf. Now he noticed. “What are you-“ he’s interrupted by your nose in the crook of his thigh and his cock, breathing in the salty heady scent of his cum before taking the fabric in your mouth and sucking, looking up at him with big doe eyes through your lashes.

“Oh my god” his eyes nearly rolled in the back of his head, his jaw dropping at the sight before him. “You are gonna fuckin’ kill me” he said and you smiled a bit as you suck down the sweet salty flavor. His cock jumped at the action and you pulled the fabric up between your teeth, tugging down and his cock flopped out onto his stomach, half hard from your antics.

“Can I help you clean up?” You asked sweetly and he bit back a whimper at such an innocent voice being used to ask such a filthy question.

“Uh-“ he swallowed thickly, looking at your chin that was glistening with the sticky cum from his boxers “If- if I can clean you up after” he countered and you nod.

“Sounds like a deal” you said and gently took him in your dominant hand, licking a stripe from base to tip enjoying the way he twitched under your tongue. He bit his lip, sucking a breath through his teeth at the sensitivity so you eased up on the pressure of your tongue when you got to his tip, humming softly when it spurts out a little glob of pre, almost in thanks.

“Wow- you can go again? Already?” You asked amazedly and he shook his head quickly

“Fuck no - hell fuckin’ no, this’ as hard as ‘m’gettin’ it would hurt t’go like this“ he said and you pout a bit.

“Darn, would’ve been fun” you said and resumed rubbing your tongue over his length that was jumping and twitching at your stimulation. “Feels good though right?” You ask and he hums, in a way that almost sounded like a whimper but he clears his throat to cover it

“Mmhmm- feels- feels really good” he said and you smile, rubbing your lips over his vein that ran on the side, dipping your tongue between your lips to feel the girth of it. After a few more minutes of sucking and licking, and a few flicks of your tongue - he gently pats your head “think ‘m clean” he said a bit breathlessly and you looked up at him.

“You sure? I don’t wanna miss any spots” you joked and he chuckled

“I’m sure. And I want my turn now” he said and you wipe your drooly mouth on his hip and giggle before laying down and peeling off your soaked panties, thankful they were coming off because they were becoming uncomfortable - and chucking them who knows where.

“Ah, thanks f’usin me as a napkin very kind” he jokes and fixed his boxers before laying on his stomach in front of you, putting a thigh on each shoulder and essentially hugging your hips, supporting himself with his elbows and going to work right away.

He kissed over your thighs, up your wet sensitive lips to your mound, placing a gentle kiss there as well and gently nibbling on the pad of fat there. “I fuckin love this” he said, sucking on the mound of flesh. You giggled a bit, crossing your ankles together and watching him as he gazes up at you intently.

“You’re nibbling on me like a dog” you gently rub over his hair and scratch his scalp to which he hums in appreciation and licks you over, swirling his tongue over your clit and flicking it. You shivered at the action, thighs cupping his face and he pulled away a bit

“Please don’t make my ears pop” he chuckled, his hot breath ghosting over your heat in a way that made your toes curl.

“Sorry - sorry baby” you loosened your grip and pet his hair gently as he continued to devour your folds, slurping and sucking and lapping up all the wetness you had to offer. You moaned and whimpered, watching him as he dragged his tongue back and forth over your clit, resting his palm face up on your belly. You grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers together over your abdomen.

“You’re so pretty Carmy” you praise, your other hand playing with his now sweaty curls from everything going on “such pretty eyes” you said softly and he hums gently, nuzzling your clit with his nose as he fucks you with his tongue, lapping up your walls from the inside as well. Your belly tightens, hips arching slightly off the bed “fuck baby I’m close” you told him and his eyes flutter shut in bliss, kissing your clit gently before sucking on it.

Your orgasm washed over you like a gentle, warm wave washing you out to sea. You hummed happily as your thighs shook, core clenching and fluttering around his tongue as he worked you through it, stroking your thigh gently. “So good- always so good bear” you said tiredly and kiss his hand. Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he licked a stripe up your core to finish you off, before kissing your thigh sweetly.

You then felt him wipe his soaking wet chin and mouth on the inside of your thigh, and your eyes flicker back open to see him smirking teasingly. “What? S’just payback!”

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yuurei20 · 6 months

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Hey Yuurei :) Question - What's Idia's relationship with his parents like? Has he said anything super concrete? I know he's complained about them, but he also complains about everyone haha

Hello hello! Thank you for this question!

(This blog pretends that Main Story elements not released on EN do not exist because spoilers are the worst, so this will just be EN-friendly information!)

You are very correct! Idia does not seem very thrilled whenever his parents come up in conversation, but he doesn't seem very thrilled about most things unless they are a particular interest of his, so it can be hard to gauge the degree to which he does or does not get along with his family.

He has a line in Book 6 of, "Classic Mom and Dad, always prioritizing efficiency over other people's feelings."

It would be very interesting to hear other examples of this presumably recurring problem: is this truly an issue that his parents struggle with, or is Idia an unreliable narrator?

Vil and Rook, for example, provide a different perspective:

In Book 7 Idia explains that his parents have told him not to come back home for a while ("That's the diplomatic way to say they're off-loading a nuisance") and Rook responds, "I can sense the deep affection your parents must hold for you."

Idia says he isn't so sure, citing how hard they came down on him post-book-6: "I don't think they've yelled at me that bad since I was eight."

Idia says he gets scolded by his parents pretty regularly, and they will take away his power cables to punish him.

Vil points out that his parents were supportive both of Ortho's enrollment at NRC and Idia's internship.

Idia seems intent on arguing that his family situation isn't as pleasant as it may seem, saying that this parents advised him not to go into the service industry because he would be a bad fit, but Vil observes, "And that's advice they gave to you personally, regardless of the current circumstances."

Ortho talks about how he, Idia, their father and mother would all go to parks, forests and rivers together when they were very young, but after Idia withdrew they stopped going out together as a family. Original-Ortho's death may have been something of a catalyst for Idia's strained relationship with his parents.

Idia may also have a complex about not being born into a normal family, saying that he "just wanted to be like everyone else." He may possibly blame his parents for that, as well (in addition to his ancestors, whom he says "screwed over their kids, their grandkids, and everyone," forever).

Idia says that he got a lot of video games, board games and more from his parents every year for his birthday so he could play in the comfort of his room, which made him super happy, so it seems his parents were supportive of his interests!

But he also talks about bringing an old jammer that he made as a child with him to NRC because if he hadn’t someone would have thrown it away, says he once got in trouble for taking apart a game console and again for turning a vacuum cleaner into a drone with a technomantic beam cannon.

As the majority of the issues we have heard about thus far have all been from Idia himself, and he does not seem to be an unbiased source of information, it will be interesting to see if maybe there is actually another side to these stories! 👀 Would love to revisit this topic in the future!

#twstask #twisted wonderland #idia shroud

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1141520851813892291920 · 2 months

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I was told I should come here to tell you about a recent experience I’ve had. Something about how you’re looking for scary stories or whatever. Sure, I’ll tell you, but it’s not like it’s going to help or anything. I don’t think anyone can help me, really.

It happened last night at time of writing, so Monday night. I work as a pool cleaner (pool technician is what they call it, can’t help but roll my eyes every time I have to say it) and with the summer months rolling in, work’s been busier than usual. Everyone wants their pool chlorinated and clean, everyone wants their pool tiling redone, everyone’s looking for a special rate, etc. So many uppity folks believing they’re more important and their water should be cleaned first instead of finding another way to stay cool. Bit annoying if you ask me, but it’s a job, and I couldn’t care less what these people blow their money on

Boss sent me out to some address out in the boonies and I assumed it’d be the same ordeal as always. I show up, vacuum out all the gunk, scrub up a bit, explain basic maintenance to the customer, yadayadayada. Even being out in the middle of nowhere, you don’t really assume anything. Outside of clearly these people are loaded if they live out of the way AND they’re calling about a pool cleaning. The drive there took about half the day because they were very insistent on someone coming out that same day, and I was content with the idea of an easy day for once.

I was wrong.

Everything seemed okay upon arrival. Quaint little house a couple miles out from the nearest town, beautiful property if I’m honest. The grounds surrounding the cottage seemed to be cluttered in a bunch of water fountains and irrigation systems for a small garden the owners were tending to. All of the water sources seemed to snake back in onto themselves, seemingly entangled and intertwined, it was all rather impressive. Whoever owned this land was probably more savvy than I was about the basics of plumbing. Made me wonder for a second why they’d needed a pool cleaner, but I had a job to focus on and not much time to think about it for longer than a passing moment.

When I knocked on the door of the residence, I was met with the most breathtaking view of a gorgeous woman who’d answered the door. A real looker, made me almost envy the person who got to be with her, I’d never been charming enough to end up with someone like that. I couldn’t tell you what she looked like now, or what she sounded like, or all of what she said, but I remember her eyes. I remember that while the rest of her seemed inviting and warm, those eyes remained cold and dark, almost analytical. Scanning for something that I couldn’t quite be sure of.

She’d told me that her husband had just left for work but that the pool was in the back. She handed me the check for services, and initially I was taken aback since normally payment comes after, but it was one less thing for me to worry about. She told me I could get started and that she’d be outside after she’d changed. Wasn’t really sure what that meant at the time, but I wasn’t going to decline seeing more of her, and with a nod I started to head to the back area of the cottage where the pool was.

By far it must have been the filthiest pool I’ve ever laid eyes on. Overgrown moss, all manner of disgusting, vile muck, as if the pool itself hadn’t been cared for in years. I swore I’d seen the carcass of a less than lucky squirrel at one point, but tried not to think about it all. Popped my headphones in and started the process of vacuuming the mess out of there, and I was thankful for the drone of noise that made it impossible to think for too long. It wasn’t until I felt a tap on my shoulder that I stopped, and what I saw when I turned around wasn’t what I expected.

The wife had joined me in the backyard in what had to be one of the skimpiest swimsuits in existence. Strings that screamed at the tension they were put under, and while I tried not to look, I couldn’t help myself. If she noticed, she didn’t seem to make any mention of it, but the next words out of her mouth could have made me keel over from excitement if that were possible.

“Would you help me with some sunscreen?”

We ended up heading over to a lawn chair she’d setup and I enjoyed the feeling of her warm flesh beneath mine as I rubbed the ointment into her skin. I don’t think I would have in retrospect, but in that moment it felt like that was the only thing that mattered in the world. I remember the way she looked at me with those eyes, and how I could see myself reflected in her gaze; I remember how sure of myself she made me seem, and how good it felt to escape my own self-doubts for once. How it wasn’t so bad to be a pool technician after all if it meant I’d get to experience the joy of beautiful women like this more. How I’d be able to tell my mother to kick rocks for thinking I’d never amount to anything.

At some point, she’d requested that I undo the straps tied on her back so she could get an even tan before she could get in the pool. My stomach lurched, but I agreed, and after undoing the straps, she instructed me to go finish up while she enjoyed the view. With a newfound surge of confidence, I set to work, scrubbing away all of the disgusting bits of dirt and grime in a jiffy. Even added some extra cleaning chemicals besides the chlorine so she wouldn’t have to trouble herself with worrying about not being able to take a dip in the pool. If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have been anywhere near as excited. Funny how your thoughts circle when you have time to reflect on things.

My job completed, I announced that the pool was once again open for swimming, and earned a delighted giggle in return. Something that sounded so ephemeral, as though it were not of this world, but I wished to hear it again and again. I’d started to pack up my tools and planned on enjoying the many daydreams I’d be thinking of on the way back of this scenario I’d found myself in when a sudden movement caught my eye. When I turned to look, I found her beckoning me to come closer, a smile playing on her lips while her gaze never left mine. If everything else had been a fantasy prior, her next spoken words were the cherry on top.

“Would you like to join me?”

I watched in amazement as she removed the fabric that barely covered anything and slowly walked back into the pool, her eyes fixed on me, that same come hither motion ever present. I didn’t even need time to think. Before I knew it, I was freed from my clothes and in the water beside her, and we locked into a brief moment of passion. It all felt surreal, as if it weren’t what was happening, but good. That’s when I felt the pull on my ankle. A pull that at first seemed like something I’d neglected to fish out of the pool before announcing that the waters were safe, but one that quickly became terrifying. I felt myself get pulled under, and despite how shallow the pool was, I couldn’t climb back to the surface.

I felt dozens of what felt like hands pulling me deeper and deeper down into the depths of a pool that was much too big for what I’d just cleaned. I swore I heard whispers telling me that things would be so much better if I gave in and joined them and how life could be so much more if I relished being worth something as part of their group. Sentences that still don’t make much sense to me now but they don’t become any less terrifying. I reemerged from the surface as my vision started to darken, and scrambled out of the pool back to dry land, heaving up water as I did. As I caught my breath, I heard a voice say something that made my blood run cold.

“Look. At. Me.”

When I turned back around, I found the source of the voice coming from the pool. I was met with the creeping gaze of someone who’d submerged themselves beneath the surface, only their eyes and the top of their head visible. Whoever was in the pool, it didn’t look like the woman who’d answered the door, and they began to rise from the waters that now appeared murky once again. It was a wretched, decrepit old woman, one who appeared to have become bloated and waterlogged as though they’d been submerged for far longer than the human body can handle.

I watched in horror as she began to cackle, her skin peeling away from her body as she attempted to exit the pool and head in my direction. I was frozen in place and watched as with every shift of the water, this pool began to change, and alter. Faces reflected in the ripples of the waves she was making, faces that I swore I recognized. Her eyes had locked onto me with what I swore was the same cold, dark gaze I’d felt earlier in the day. She was halfway between me and the pool when I was able to steel myself and begin running back to the car. The last words I heard echo from her still haunt me now.

“Get back into the water. Join us. Join your friends. We’re waiting for you.”

I don’t think I stopped the car again until I heard the second alarm go off warning me about low fuel. Quit my job after, I don’t need that kind of stress in my life, there are other things I can do in the meantime. Hopefully the next gig has buxom babes who aren’t completely mental. If not, I’ll be headed to the beach soon, and maybe I’ll get lucky there. Can’t say I’ll be looking to get into the water, though.

...well, I hate to say it but I am feeling physically better than I was prior to reading this statement. Though, I was perhaps remiss in...stalling on responding to this one for so long.

It stuck out to me due to the nature of the...reflection. It tastes similar to whatever has been trying to...consume? Capture? Reflect Tim.

It is a complicated situation, and one I do not yet understand completely. Reflections are...distortions of light, if viewed from a technical standpoint. But they are also imitations, unrealities of their own...there is no shortage of folklore about mirrors and reflections - do not get trapped between them, do not make eye contact with them, do not accept the invitation to step into the looking glass...

Which is to say...I am lost on this. I've come to accept that the powers of the world are...not exactly the same as the ones that I knew of Before, but are no less present. They seem to exist in their own right, though if Michael's door is anything to go by, they are still able to be influenced or at least...visited, by the familiar fears that I Know.

What do I know about the reflections so far... -They appear to feed off of...insecurity, and self doubt. -They can change their appearance (unsurprising) -They are ephemeral in nature, and do not have a fixed Place -They can communicate directly with their victims and targets. -They appear in opposition to predation and blood. I don't know if any of this will be helpful. Martin and Michael are insistent that I stay in the car while they take care of things with Tim. Oh yes, as if that is going to happen. I have more experience than both of them, at least now. That, and the poor pool boy's misfortune was a rather reinvigorating snack. I am feeling much better. Stay in the car, my arse.

#[submitted statement]#another archive #tma #tma podcast #somewhere else #aaarg #the magnus archives #tma rp blog

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probablyasocialecologist · 7 months

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Millennials and Gen Zs were raised to be entrepreneurs of the self, to believe that, if they simply worked and studied hard enough, success and security were waiting in their futures. Failure was a personal blight for refusing to invest their time wisely, for failing to grind hard enough. Post-2008, that dream was shot. You could work and work, but that did not mean that you would have job security and freedom from roommates by your mid-30s. Maybe this was what was meant by burnout culture. In the aftermath of the crash, middle-class people spoke of the death of the dream – the postwar ethos that, if you were willing to work hard enough and play by the rules, upper mobility and success were waiting in your future. If their parents had believed in climbing the ladder and just rewards for their hard work, this path was now closed to their children. These generations are also a product of the speculative environment they were raised in. Most of the day-traders were teenagers or children in the financial crash, or just graduating college. Fledgling adults in the COVID-19 pandemic. Born between the mid-1980s and early 2000s, their identity is shaped by the vacuum of post-communist politics (I, personally, was sent, age five, to a fancy-dress party styled as the Berlin Wall) or shaped by the speculation and excess of the dotcom era, or racked by the uncertainty of the 2008 financial crash. They’ve encountered the death of the American dream (or in Ireland, where I’m from, the optimism of the Celtic Tiger) and felt the withdrawal of the state’s contract in everything from mounting student debt to inferior healthcare to the rising cost of living. The postwar security and investment in public goods like education and housing their grandparents and parents enjoyed has been replaced by volatility and risk. Retail trading forums like WallStreetBets and NFT Discords are spaces where people trade crazy investment advice, but it’s also where they articulate their loss of hope in those same dreams. What replaced the fantasy of the good life? Dreams of prepping for life on Mars or in the metaverse? Of financial security through wild trades, or finding a good man to take care of you so you could leave the hustle behind? And who are these new dreams in service of? If the tale of hard work and upward mobility kept us yoked to our employers and our 9-to-5 jobs, the fantasy of the YOLO investment ‘Lambos or food stamps!’ keeps its subjects attached to the market. To risking it all. And these dreams feed the market, as in the crypto winter of 2021 where many vulnerable investors were left holding the bag, or the post-GameStop frenzy where, despite feelgood stories about David and Goliath, the significant profiteer was the market-maker behind the Robinhood trading app.

#cryptocurrency #finance #cruel optimism #american dream

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guardiangeologist · 4 months

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Luigi's Uncharacteristically Large and also maybe Haunted House (3DS Edition): A Highly Professional Review

The entire time I've had this blog, I haven't really been sure what to use it for. I've settled on spewing my unscripted thoughts on whatever Game of the Week I've played most recently because, quite frankly, where else are they gonna go? I love my girlfriend, but these words are destined for a wider platform. I must expand my horizons. So here I am, talking about cartoon ghosts and green vacuum-wielding Italian men on the internet.

Now, let me tell you, this green man and his stupid house have been in control of my entire brain like some fucked up Italian Ratatouille for at least 10 years. I was a Luigi's Mansion Kid. What do I mean by that? I mean I roleplayed Luigi's Mansion on the school playground when I was in the 3rd grade. With the other Luigi's Mansion Kids. So it's safe to say I have some experience when it comes to this game. At times, he goes dormant. He waits patiently for another hyperfixation to pass. However, just when I least expect it, he returns from the grave (almost like a ghost?) to stage a military occupation of my frontal lobe to last the next few months.

So, there's my history. I ended up finally picking up the 3DS version of this game just before the eShop shut down (rest in piss) for shits and giggles, and only just got around to playing it this week while laying in bed with a migraine. (maybe not the smartest decision?) I mean, to start with, why was this game released for the 3DS? It came out in October 2018, at which point we were already an entire year post-Switch. I mean, I guess it would be fine, but it's just so obvious that being on the 3DS holds this game back in so many different areas (which I will get to, be patient!) and it's seriously a tragedy it hasn't been ported to Switch yet. Why put together such an amazing remake, and then bottleneck it with lackluster hardware and release it on a nearly out of service console?

In terms of positive changes? LOADS of QoL stuff. I might even go as far as to call this the definitive version of the game in spite of the few drawbacks it does present. Some examples include:

Re-fighting portrait ghosts: NO MORE RESETS!!! (Ok still some resets for speedy spirits because there's no way in hell I'm staying in the blackout for longer than I have to but that's just part of The Experience)

You can go back to the Lab from the Mansion by exiting through the front door. Finally, Luigi has learned how to open doors!

The tougher post-game Hidden Mansion, originally exclusive to the PAL version, has finally been made available to us worthless money-grubbing Americans! (Minus the disorienting flipped rooms, which I found pretty disappointing but some people will probably celebrate.) You can even get platinum ghost portraits from the Hidden Mansion which I have yet to obtain all of because jesus christ it is not easy to defeat a ghost with 150 health in a single attempt.

And now, the ghostly elephant in the room: co-op. I did try it, with my little brother as my Gooigi guinea pig. It's...I mean...honestly, it's not great. If you want to play LM1 with a friend, I can honestly recommend a ROM hack of the GameCube original more than I can recommend Nintendo's official multiplayer, which is pretty lame. For one, nothing is scaled up difficulty-wise to account for the extra player, so most battles in the game become trivial with the addition of a second experienced player (not my little brother.) But secondly, and most importantly:

the LAG.

DEAR GOD THE LAG.

I can testify that our internet is fine. The internet is not the issue, and even if it were, it shouldn't take any more bandwidth to play this game than it takes for two 3DS systems that are within 3 feet of each other and 10 feet from a router to communicate with each other. Yet, the game did not once run at full speed on either screen the entire time we played. Additionally, my brother complained several times that he couldn't even move his character. Luigi's Mansion with two players SHOULD be a chaotic mess, but adding the piddly framerate on top of it makes the game nearly unplayable.

That being said, the co-op is a disappointment, but it was never necessary for the game to be a satisfying package overall, it's better than having nothing. Though, as is typical, the work of fans definitely triumphs over Nintendo's official product in this department.

Oh, and they still didn't fix the oversight which causes you to lose the second gold diamond if you die after collecting it because the game prompts you to save while it's still on the ground... No A-Rank for me, I guess.

Mm, yes, the controls, yeah, those exist. This is one of those spots where I feel this game could have easily benefitted from just being developed for the Switch. Instead of forcing a dual-stick game onto a dying handheld with a single circle pad, maybe we could've, like, released it for the dual-stick console/handheld that was already out and had a perfectly established user base? They tried to substitute the c-stick with the gray alien nipple- or uhh..."circle pad pro"...that comes pre-installed on the New Nintendo 3DS, but it does not work well. The nub just isn't responsive enough to substitute for an entire stick, and if you want it to be a real circle pad, you have to buy an external attachment. Not to mention the nub isn't even available on every 3DS model! So like, yeah, I understand they made an honest attempt to work around the controller issues, but a better workaround would've been to just...not curse this game to irrelevancy by trapping it on a dying console.

All of that said, I spent all week playing this game, so they did something right. Curse my brain worms.

11/10 will buy this game and its sequels again every time Nintendo re-releases them.

#super mario bros #luigi #luigi's mansion #mario bros #smb #super mario #mario #supermario #nintendo #nintendo 3ds #the fucking nub dear god it's the only thing i'm glad we left behind in the previous console generation

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andmaybegayer · 3 months

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Do you have a favorite plug/socket connector of any kind?

Hmm, favourite, not really, when I need to connect things I'm usually turning to matters of convenience, price and requirement, there's not many alternatives to, say, a u.fl antenna connector. Actually wait no I was talking about this on IRC last night, I do at least kind of have an answer, which are the GES S and 100 series of high voltage, high cycle connectors. Really all the GES high voltage stuff is fun but these are the best.

These are the family of single-pole high voltage connectors that use a long, long, LONG PTFE socket to provide safe isolation for the spicy end of an equally long PTFE sheathed plug, so that when you turn on a 50+kV source on the one side you can trust that you haven't just electrified the panel you plugged into by forming an arc. They look like this:

I saw a video of these on Twitter or Fedi once and I unfortunately cannot find it because they're great, when you pull them out they leave a vacuum behind so as the tip clears it makes a loud *pop* noise. These are effectively an electrical connector on the end of a sufficiently long stick that the enormous potential you're creating between the tip and the panel can't arc back up and bite you in the ass.

The various models are rated for up to 100kV of potential, the small ones can do 30A and the big ones can do 80A. They're also rated 100k mating cycles, so you can use them when you're working with, say, high voltage machinery that might need to be disconnected and serviced regularly.

Consider that, at 80A and 100kV, you're moving 8 megawatts, which is somewhere between 5-15 % of the output of your average nuclear reactor.

They make multi-pole ones rated for more ordinary 5-12kV loads, which are much more convenient if you only have to deal with moderately high voltage connections.

#thehylianbatman #ask #engineering #ges high voltage

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caterjunes · 7 months

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finally

got COMPLETELY moved out of our old place! made two trips today. the electric company apparently decided that "today is the last day of service" meant "stop service this morning" so uhhhh there was no electricity aka lights, so we did most of the second load/final cleaning by flashlight 🙃 thankfully i'd already vacuumed the carpeted areas!

our house is a total mess still, boxes & bags absolutely everywhere. BUT i finally found the hardware to reassemble my bedframe, so i can get my mattress off the floor & out from in front of my dresser, so i can finally start unpacking my clothes into my dresser!

having a basement has been absolutely gamechanging - all the stuff that we know we don't want to unpack for the foreseeable future (aka until after we paint in the spring), we can just make disappear.

i am completely shatteringly exhausted tho. rly looking forward to not driving at all tomorrow!! (still gonna have to move some heavy boxes around tho, unfortunately)

#personal #keeping it fun and funky fresh #again sorry i am not gonna post any exterior pics of my house At All and probs no interior ones until we get things a lil more under contro #my house in the middle of my street

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summerlandenviormental · 10 months

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Vacuum loading services

Discover efficient industrial liquid waste management with our Vacuum Loading Services. Summerland Environmental ensures safe and reliable solutions, utilizing advanced technology for seamless waste removal. Explore our services now!

#Vacuum loading services #Vacuum Excavation

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mariaawilliams · 1 year

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Vacuum Loading: Cleaning Tanks, Vessels, Pits & Culverts

Maintaining industrial and urban infrastructure has become paramount in a world increasingly focused on efficiency, sanitation, and sustainability. One of the standout techniques in this domain is vacuum loading.

Designed to clean various facilities such as tanks, vessels, pits, and culverts, vacuum loading ensures cleanliness and contributes to these structures' longevity and functionality.

Understanding Vacuum Loading

Vacuum loading, also known as vacuum truck services, involves powerful vacuum trucks that suck out both wet and dry materials from various sites. These trucks are equipped with high-capacity tanks and high-pressure pumps, enabling them to handle different types of waste, from sludge and solids to liquids.

Cleaning Tanks and Vessels

Over time, tanks and vessels, whether they hold water, oil, or chemicals, accumulate sediments, debris, and sometimes even hazardous waste. Vacuum loading is an optimal solution to this problem.

Benefits:

• Safety: Manually cleaning tanks, especially those containing hazardous substances, can expose workers to risks. Vacuum trucks ensure that the cleaning process is conducted safely without direct human contact with harmful materials.

• Efficiency: The powerful suction of vacuum trucks can remove years of accumulated waste in a relatively short time.

• Environmental Responsibility: Proper cleaning prevents leaks and contamination, ensuring harmful substances don't seep into the environment.

Pits and Drains Cleaning

Pits, also known as catch basins or storm drains, are essential in urban areas to collect rainwater and prevent flooding. Over time, these pits accumulate debris, leaves, and other pollutants.

Benefits:

• Prevention of Blockages: Regular cleaning using vacuum loading ensures water flows smoothly, preventing potential floods.

• Protecting Aquatic Ecosystems: By removing pollutants from stormwater systems, vacuum loading helps prevent the contamination of rivers and oceans.

• Durability: Regular cleaning enhances the lifespan of pits, reducing the need for frequent repairs or replacements.

Culverts Maintenance

Culverts, which serve as a structure allowing water to flow under roads or railways, are prone to clogging due to debris, sediments, and vegetation growth.

Benefits:

• Smooth Water Flow: Vacuum loading ensures that water flow is not obstructed, preventing potential road or railway damage.

• Infrastructure Longevity: Clean culverts mean less wear and tear, ensuring that infrastructure lasts longer and functions optimally.

• Safety: Blocked culverts can lead to road collapses. Regular cleaning mitigates such risks.

Operational Considerations

While vacuum loading offers a plethora of benefits, specific operational considerations are essential:

• Training: Operators must be trained to handle the equipment correctly, ensuring both efficiency and safety.

• Waste Disposal: Collected waste needs to be disposed of responsibly. This is particularly important for hazardous materials, ensuring they don't pose environmental threats.

• Equipment Maintenance: Regular checks and maintenance of vacuum trucks ensure they operate optimally and safely.

Conclusion

Vacuum loading is more than just a cleaning service; it's a commitment to sustainability, safety, and infrastructure maintenance. Maintaining tanks, vessels, pits, and culverts becomes even more crucial as urban and industrial spaces grow.

Through regular cleaning and a proactive approach, we ensure the smooth operation of these structures and contribute to a safer and cleaner environment. As we move forward, embracing technologies and methods like vacuum loading will undoubtedly play a pivotal role in shaping a sustainable and efficient future.

#vacuum loading #vacuum loading services

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lonestarflight · 1 year

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Apollo CSM-008, a Block I Command and Service Module, being loaded on the work stand installation in bldg. 32, Chamber ''A'' of the Space Environment Simulation Laboratory, for thermal vacuum tests of the Apollo Command Module systems.

Date: May 18, 1966

NASA ID: S66-34205, S66-34207, S66-34211, S66-34212, S66-34213, S66-34214, S66-42570

#thermal vacuum tests #Apollo CSM Block I #CSM-008 #NASA #Apollo Program #Chamber A #Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center #Johnson Space Center #Manned Spacecraft Center #Houston #Texas #May #1966 #my post

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bluboothalassophile · 2 months

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Allergies SUCK.

I'm just going to rant for a hot sec because this is both fucking hilarious and concerning. I've worked in customer service for a long, hot minute and can honestly say this just... this takes the cake!

So a few mornings ago, I woke up, I didn't change out of my PJs which is a massively oversized men's cotton t-shirt, mini shorts (the indecent, will never wear in public but will wear around the house kind) messy hair, massive Ray-Ban aviators (I know, I look like I wanna be cool, but Top Gun, you will never win an argument from there). I felt like shit on 4 hours of sleep, and it's 6 in the morning, and I don't want to cook, I don't want to be awake, but dogs and allergies will not let me go back to bed. In my glorious, pathetic, state (still braless and not fully awake or functioning), I load up 3 golden retrievers (Boog, Minion, and the Terrorist), into my Subaru (I'm a classic Subaru commercial!) and we go to Chick-fil-A for breakfast (McDonalds is not a long enough car ride for the dogs, and honestly, I don't have patience for the stupidity required to go to Micky D's at 6 in the morning and with shitty midwesterner drivers), so we're going to Chick-fil-A, and I'm going to get breakfast. I have not spoken 2 words this morning, even to get the idiots loaded into the car, they heard me pick up car keys (curse my new job for giving me keys so now my key fob makes key noises alerting 3 idiots to my every move...) so my dogs all but carry me, to the car, no words, commands, or names exchanged between the chauffer and clients, they expect pupcups and hang time out the windows as I break the laws of physics and speed to get to my morning coffee and food.

All of us get to Chick-fil-A, again, I have not spoken a word this fair morning, so the voice box might not work fully yet, and I've had no coffee, so I pull up to the drive through order speaker and this broken, garbled, scraggled, smokes 10 packs a day with a bottle of whiskey voice scratches it way out of the depths of hell and my mouth to order the largest (which is pathetically small really) coffee, black, I can get, I proceed to place my order, and make the odd addition of sausage paddies (no pupcups or puppy paddies available, for shame on them, but it's their only sin so far this morning), I pull forward after getting my total, and get to the underpass and window and dig around for the wallet (which until that moment, I'm not entirely certain I haven't forgotten). I scrape up that odd $20 bill I have no idea where it came from, and the change from old tip money and turn to give it to the attendant there. I have taken off the sunglasses (green eyes are not as sensitive as blue, but it's still a fucking bitch to go from BRIGHT SUN! black shade; BRIGHT SUN!!, black shade again very quickly, and my eyes are already burning like no tomorrow (more on that later)); attendant takes the money and walks off. In my fogged, bleary state, did not think it odd, thought that them having to cook 3 naked sausage paddies might be the problem (it's an unusual request, I know, but you can clearly see I'm a Subaru commercial complete with three golden retrievers drooling out my back windw begging for pets, pupcups and someone to throw the fucking tennisballs I have on my passenger seat, and if that wasn't hint enough, the furricane blowing out of my recently vacuumed car that puts Peanut's Pigpen to shame should be clue enough that they are there). No coffee me is very much so not a morning person.

Attendant comes back with my order, and change, hands me my money and says 'I put a little gift in the bag! I hope you have a good morning!', I say 'thank you' in that horrific voice (which I don't know where it comes from because I don't smoke or drink), accept the bag and pull away whilst nearly being BLINDED by the sun, put on the sunglasses and squint through teary, bleary eyes the whole way home listening to rock-n-roll and country with three idiots hanging out my back window. I probably break speeding laws of the midwest by going the fucking speed limit, but that's a different matter. Three happy idiots banging out to rock-n-roll with tongues out and heads out are having fun, I am unable to see the road my eyes are burning so badly and everything hurts.

Get home, unload idiots, retrieve breakfast and coffee (no words spoken). Sit down, unpack breakfast, get cream for coffee and sit in silence and confusion. 3 sausage paddies for Boog, Minion and Terrorist who are all watching me with love, adoration and intent focus on the food; check. 1 (pathetically small), black coffee, check. 1 side of hashbrowns, check. 1 sausage egg biscuit, check. 1 brownie? I have no idea why there's a brownie there. Checks receipt in sleepy confusion.

3 sausage paddies.

1 sausage egg and cheese biscuit.

1 black coffee.

1 side of hashbrowns.

NO brownie.

I did not order the brownie. I am not opposed to the brownie, just confused to it's origins. Stares intently at brownie and shrugs it off, I figured they had a mix up and put the brownie in my order. I get up to get something, and see my reflection...

DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD YOU HAVE TO LOOK TO GET A FREE, PITY BROWN OUT OF CHICK-FIL-A!? NO!? I'LL TELL YOU!!!!!!

I look like hell.

My eyes are swollen nearly shut and so red you wouldn't know they're supposed to be green, and tears are streaming down my face, my cheeks and face are red, swollen and puffy, my lip is torn on the top lip and split on the bottom, my hair is a rats nest, my ear is bleeding, I look like death and bruise, my sleep t-shirt (my AZ Diamondbacks t-shirt, that is pale greyish-blue and black) is stained brown and red from blood, my arms and legs are scratched up and green and blue from bruises, while my neck is bleeding, my exposed shoulder looks like it's suffering a second degree chemical burn, I look like I was mauled and thrown in a poison oak bush for good measure.

I'm perfectly fine, by the way, my eczema has just been kicking my ass these last few weeks and I've had a particularly nasty break out. The bruises on my legs were from bumping into and falling down the stairs with a laundry basket when the Terrorist came crashing into my knees trying to invoke a race. The scratches and raw skin are me and my eczema. Nothing bad has happened to me, but I'm certain that poor attendant thought something had.

Still, working customer service, I know how BAD you have to look to even invoke some level of sympathy or empathy from a customer service employee or get anything free for that matter. Which elicits a level of mortification and flattery on my part that I even got a free brownie.

To that attendant though, thank you! You made my week, and it was an awesome brownie! But I promise, I'm not as bad as I look at this moment.

#bluboothalassophile #hello reader

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missmilkie · 4 months

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Ninja From Another Land

Part Three

Here it is, my most popular fic so far. Thank you for reading~

1k words

The cycle of studying with Sakura and training with Sasuke consumed most of your days. On the weekends, Naruto invited you to hang out a lot too because he lived close by. You knew that Naruto needed a friend. For his entire life up to this point, he had been shunned by the village and was lonely. He needed someone to interact with and care about him. That person was going to be you.

“Naruto, if you cleaned up like once a week, you wouldn’t be so overwhelmed when you clean.” You were going through his apartment with a giant garbage bag. You cleared out a ton of trash.

You did two loads of laundry. One was his bedding and the other was his clothes. While those were going you cleaned his bathroom and vacuumed. Surfaces were wiped down and you organized the fridge and his cabinets. While you made his bed, you made Naruto wash his dishes. When the job was done his apartment looked so much better.

“This was a one time service. I can’t stand messes.” You chirped as you took a seat on his clean bed.

“Thanks, (Y/n).” Naruto said sheepishly. “I’ll do my best to keep it clean.”

“Good. The Hokage should be organized and clean.”

You didn’t really get into trouble as you were too busy learning to be a ninja. You spent countless hours alone in your apartment with books from the library. You were currently working on medical jutsu, so you could heal Naruto after he gets himself in trouble pulling a prank.

Sometimes Naruto would skip school to get up to no good. Which brought you to your current situation. Iruka was called away to help bring Naruto back to school.

Since the class was left unattended, students roamed the room. They talked to their friends, but weren’t super disruptive. You decided to take a quick nap at your desk.

“Mind if I join you? People are being so annoying by my spot.” Shikamaru took Sakura’s spot since she was sitting closer to Sasuke.

“Go ahead. Let this be the sanctuary for all those who wish to nap.” You yawned and settled back into a comfortable position to fall asleep in again.

Shikamaru just watched you with his arms crossed and his face blushing. You weren’t such a drag like a lot of his classmates. You actually did a pretty good job of minding your own business. The Nara boy put his head down on the desk next to you and drifted off. The warmth he radiated made your unconscious self shift closer.

You woke up with your head leaned against Shikamaru’s arm. His head rested on yours, providing protection. He quickly separated from you to go back to his seat. Iruka was back with Naruto and he was pissed.

“Listen, Naruto. You failed the last graduation test and the one before that. This is no time to be goofing off!” Naruto couldn’t care less about Iruka’s rant, and it really pissed your teacher off. “That’s it! We’re going to have a re-test on the Transformation Jutsu! Even those who already passed will have to retake it!” The entire class groaned. This was episode one.

Everyone lined up to take the test.

“Sakura Haruno. Here I go…transform!” With a puff of smoke she looked exactly like Iruka.

“You pass.”

“I did it! Did you see that, Sasuke?”

“Next, Sasuke Uchiha!” Iruka called out.

Sasuke transformed into Iruka with ease. Your teacher became a little uncomfortable with your classmates transforming into him, they really didn’t have to.

“Next, Naruto Uzumaki.”

“This is such a drag.” Shikamaru complained.

“This is your fault, we always have to pay for your screw ups.” Ino grumbled.

“As if I care.” Naruto smirked as he went up to transform.

The smoke cleared revealing a naked girl version of Naruto with her long blond hair in pigtails. Convenient smoke covered her breasts and crotch as Naruto blew a kiss towards Iruka. The teacher got a nosebleed.

“Got ya! I call that the Sexy Jutsu!” Naruto laughed boisterously.

“Naruto!! Quit making up idiotic jutsus!”

Through the months you became friends with Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, and Shino as well as the girls and Naruto. Sasuke didn’t really interact with you much other than the training sessions after school.

When the day of the final exam came you were ready. You put on your konoha fit and showed up ready to pass. Some kids were studying at the last minute while they waited for their turn. You just conserved your chakra for the test.

“We’re about to start the graduation test. When your name is called, proceed to the next classroom. The test is on the Clone Jutsu.” Iruka explained.

Sakura went before you, so you had a mostly one sided conversation with Hinata about her seasonal color analysis because you were going to help her find confidence in herself by helping her control an aspect of her life such as the colors she wears to compliment her appearance. You would not let your home girl walk around without knowing what she looks good in. You were too fabulous to let your friends be unstylish. Not that she was ever unfashionable, you were just giving suggestions. She was totally a soft summer.

Your turn finally arrived, and Hinata wished you luck. You quickly thanked her as you hurried off to the examination room. Once inside, the examiners brought their full attention upon you. You immediately noticed the selection of headbands awaiting those who passed. You were going to get one of those.

You put your hands up in the correct sign and focused your chakra. With a puff of smoke three figures identical to you appeared. You held their existence until Iruka and Mizuki told you that you passed. With their blessing, you took a (color) headband.

You reached a major milestone in your journey. Graduating from the ninja academy was just the beginning. Being tested yet again and being put on a team was the next step, and it would determine how much of the story you would influence.

Once everyone was done testing, them and their parents gathered around the academy. Congratulations were going around and so many parents were proud of their children. Naruto sat alone on the infamous swing.

“Look over there. That’s the boy. I heard he’s the only one who failed.” One lady said to another.

“Good. Imagine what would happen if he became a ninja.” The other replied with contempt.

“Honestly. Don’t you have anything better to do than talk shit about a child?” You glared up at them.

“You- You’re the one who graduated at the top of the class with Sasuke Uchiha!”

“That’s right. Don’t mess with my buddy, Naruto, ya hear?” You fixed them with a glare that could have burned them alive.

To celebrate your graduation, you, Hinata, Sakura, and Ino had a sleepover. Sakura and Ino were passive aggressive towards each other the whole time while Hinata tried to mediate to no avail. You just cracked jokes and ate constantly.

Getting a positively mischievous idea, you requested the attention of your friends.

“Let’s play a game from where I’m from. It’s called truth or dare. We spin a bottle and whoever spins it asks the person it points to ‘truth or dare’. If you pick truth, you have to answer a question truthfully. And if you pick dare then you have to do whatever they dare you to do.”

Ino and Sakura immediately agreed. Hinata became nervous, so you assured her that she wouldn’t have to do anything crazy. With that, you found a glass bottle and placed it in the middle of the circle you sat in on your bed.

“Since I suggested the game, I’ll spin first.” The bottle pointed to Ino. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” She said after a moment of thought.

“I dare you to give your best impression of a person of your choice who isn’t Sakura.” The ending was necessary. Ino faked a yawn before letting a bored expression cross her face.

“This is such a drag.” The way she deepened her voice and made it sound annoyed had you and Sakura doubling over in laughter.

“Sh-Shikamaru?!” Hinata flushed in surprise at the insinuation.

“Alright!! You spin the bottle now.” You brought the attention back to the bottle between you.

“Sakura! Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Sakura chose carefully.

“What would you wear on a date?”

“I’d wear a light colored dress with puffy sleeves and a full skirt that stops just above the knees.” Sakura said dreamily as she imagined it.

“That’s so childish. A full skirt? Really??” Ino snickered.

“Chill Regina George, we’re still like 12.” You pointed out. Even though you weren’t mentally 12, it was nice to have some of your childhood back.

“Who’s that?”

“She’s a mean girl, but like an icon. The it girl of her school.” You explained.

“I can live with that.” Ino shrugged.

The four of you decided to do karaoke after truth or dare. Well, Hinata didn’t really pick anything, she just went with what everyone else wanted to do. Not that she really minded though. All of the songs Sakura and Ino sang were very unfamiliar to you. You thought about your choices for your turn.

Genres:

Rock- Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

Hip Hop/R&B- No Scrubs by TLC

Pop- Die Young by Kesha

Alt- Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High by Arctic Monkeys

“Okay my song is called (your song).” You said before singing. When you finished, the girls stared at you.

If you chose:

Rock

“That song was certainly…interesting.” Ino sweat dropped.

“Kind of weird.” Sakura lied as her inner self actually vibed with it. Hinata looked a little bit intimidated.

Hip Hop/R&B

“I love that! I only want the best man…Sasuke.” Ino squealed.

“Too bad you’ll have to settle for someone else.” Sakura told her.

“Let’s not fight now…” Hinata nervously piped in.

Pop

“That was a good one.” Sakura said cheerfully.

“Makes me wanna dance.” Ino swayed from side to side.

“So fun.” Hinata whispered.

Alt

“That had a nice sound to it.” Hinata commented dreamily.

“Not really my vibe.” Sakura shrugged.

“I liked it.” Ino side-eyed Sakura.

#naruto #x reader #fem reader #fanfic #various #isekai

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