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tennelleflowers · 2 years ago

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Rewriting “The Power of Three”-Dark River (text version)

These are my notes and script for rewriting Dark River! As always, you can listen to the full rewrite here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0G_40Q4A_o

Read part one here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/tennelleflowers/691050933780643840?source=share

Dark River- Alternate title: Dark Passage (Title change because the ‘River’ part of the story is gonna be scrapped)

Lion*-Still training in the Dark Forest. Still trying to be a better person as well. Struggling with both. He starts hanging out with Heatherpaw as an escape from his problems. He finds out that she’s been having similar problems in WindClan. They connect through mutual outsider-ness, but it’s clear Heather is looking to make an effort while Lion is kinda pushing them both towards more isolation. He wants to be better but doesn’t want to open up to the clanmates he was a bit of a dick around, afraid of rejection or humiliation. He wants to talk to his siblings about his feelings, but Holly is doing so well and Jay is so busy (plus Lion has realized that he was kinda a dick to him in the last book and isn’t ready to confront that) that Lion avoids them as well.

Jay- Finds the stick and learns about the cats that used to live around the lake and their history. He experiences the whole Jay’s Wing history up to the cats leaving for the Mountains and becoming the Tribe. He learns about the tunnels under ThunderClan and WindClan territory. After finally figuring out his place in the clan in the last book, the experience with Jay’s Wing makes Jaypaw question things again. If the cats who lived here before didn’t belong here, does that mean he doesn’t either? He notices Firestar watching him and avoiding him at the same time, which adds to Jay’s feeling of isolation and not belonging. Leafpool is also mysterious and cagey around him and he’s had trouble connecting to people in both books. Through re-living the past, Jay learns how to make friends and open up a little better. He’s still mostly the grumpy, independent cat we know, but we’ll get to see a few tender moments between him and Leafpool, plus some of the other cats who come in for treatment.

Holly- Now that she’s caught up in training, Hollypaw is becoming extremely popular with the other apprentices and really is sort of the leader of the pack. Hollypaw is delighted to be looked up to so fondly by all her clanmates and tries to use her authority for good. She solves minor disputes and gets praised by the older Warriors for her calm reason.

End of act 1, Lion and Holly take their Warrior assessments and Hollyleaf becomes a Warrior while Lionpaw does not. This drives a wedge between Hollyleaf and her brothers. Hollyleaf believes her hard work and devoted following of the code has gotten her where she is, and she doesn’t understand her brother’s struggles to fit in. (Foreshadowing that Hollyleaf isn’t the same as her brothers.)

Lionpaw’s meetings with Heather become less frequent on Heatherpaw’s end. Lion waits for her, but Heather only shows up occasionally. It seems she’s having an easier time in WindClan now. She comes back one night and tells Lionpaw she is now Heathertail. Lionpaw gets jealous and accuses Heathertail of being like Hollyleaf. When he gets angry with her, Heathertail rips Lionpaw a new one, basically telling him that he’s being a loser by not just choosing to be a better cat and she’s done doing these nightly meetings. They continue shouting when Crowfeather hears them and goes into the tunnels and finds them. In his panic, Lionpaw attacks Crowfeather and severely wounds him. Heathertail calls Lionpaw a monster and Lionpaw runs away after hearing more WindClan cats in the tunnels, including Breezepaw.

After this, Lionpaw is at his lowest point. Haunted by the guilt of training in the Dark Forest, Heathertail’s words, and his brutal attacks on Graystripe and Crowfeather, Lionpaw vows to become a better cat for real this time. He goes back to the Dark Forest to tell Tigerstar and Hawkfrost that he won’t train with them any longer. Tigerstar implies that they’ve found other cats who will gladly take his place in training. Hawkfrost is betrayed to see Lionpaw leave.

Lionpaw finally starts to make a turn around in ThunderClan. He gets to retry his assessment at the end of the book.

Epilogue- Firestar gives Lionblaze his warrior name and then pulls Jaypaw aside and tells him about the Power of Three prophecy

-end of notes-

Script:

Next we move onto Dark River, or, as I’m going to call it: Dark Passage. This title change is for multiple reasons: 1) I think the tunnels play a bigger role in this story than the river itself 2) In my version of events a lot of the flooding river stuff is going to be removed entirely and 3) Passage has multiple connotations. So while the title is literally talking about the dark tunnels under the clans, it’s also about Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw growing up, and Dark Passage could imply a harsh period of time for the trio that they need to pass through.

It’s been a few moons since the end of The Sight. Jaypaw is doing well in his Medicine Cat training, Hollypaw has caught up to the other apprentices, and Lionpaw is no longer an egoistic show-off. However, Lionpaw still hasn’t managed to make any friends. And is still training in the Dark Forest. Lionpaw wants to be a better person, but he doesn’t know where to start and feels like he’s messed things up too badly with the other apprentices. Ashfur is still as impossible to please as ever, and the only way Lionpaw feels good about himself and his abilities is with Tigerstar in the Dark Forest, even though he knows he shouldn’t. One night Lionpaw sneaks out of camp to clear his head and ends up running into Heatherpaw. They start hanging out with each other as an escape from their problems. He finds out that she’s been having similar problems in WindClan with making friends and living up to her clanmates' expectations of her. They hit it off and agree to meet up late at night in the tunnels that Heatherpaw has found.

Now that she’s caught up in training, Hollypaw is becoming extremely popular with the other apprentices and really is sort of the leader of the pack. Hollypaw is delighted to be looked up to so fondly by all her clanmates and tries to use her authority for good. She solves minor disputes and gets praised by the older Warriors for her calm reason and maturity.

And finally, we have Jaypaw, who finds The Stick and learns about the cats that used to live around the lake and their history. He experiences the whole Jay’s Wing history up to the cats leaving for the Mountains and becoming the Tribe. He learns about the tunnels under ThunderClan and WindClan territory. So we’re just getting all of that past history done in one book instead of dragging it out for 2 whole series. After finally figuring out his place in the clan, the experience with Jay’s Wing makes Jaypaw question things again. If the cats who lived here before didn’t belong here, does that mean he doesn’t either? Is that why he’s seeing these things? What does it mean? He notices Firestar watching him and avoiding him at the same time. This will be Jaypaw’s conflict throughout most of the book.

In the middle of the book, Lionpaw and Hollypaw take their Warrior assessments and Hollyleaf becomes a Warrior while Lionpaw does not. This drives a wedge between Hollyleaf and her brothers. Hollyleaf believes her hard work and devoted following of the code has gotten her where she is, and she doesn’t understand her brother’s struggles to fit in.

After this, Lionpaw’s meetings with Heatherpaw become less frequent on Heatherpaw’s end. Lionpaw waits for her, but Heatherpaw only shows up occasionally. It seems she’s having an easier time in WindClan now. She comes back one night and tells Lionpaw she is now Heathertail. Lionpaw gets jealous and accuses Heathertail of being just like Hollyleaf, ready to abandon him when she gets what she wants. When he gets angry with her, Heathertail rips Lionpaw a new one, telling him that he’s being a loser by moping around and not just choosing to be a better cat and she’s done doing these nightly meetings. They continue shouting when Crowfeather hears them and goes into the tunnels and finds them. In his panic, Lionpaw attacks Crowfeather and severely wounds him. Heathertail calls Lionpaw a monster and Lionpaw runs away after hearing more WindClan cats in the tunnels, including Breezepaw.

After this, Lionpaw is at his low point. Haunted by the guilt of training in the Dark Forest, Heathertail’s words, and his brutal attacks on Graystripe and Crowfeather, Lionpaw vows to become a better cat for real this time. He goes back to the Dark Forest to tell Tigerstar and Hawkfrost that he won’t train with them any longer. Tigerstar implies that they’ve found other cats who will gladly take his place in training, and with his help, they’ve found a way to get to them. Hawkfrost is betrayed to see Lionpaw leave, in many ways Hawkfrost has been a better mentor than Ashfur and it stings to leave that behind.

Lionpaw finally starts to make a turn around in ThunderClan. He’s messed up his chances with the apprentices he grew up with, they’ve all become Warriors now, but he makes an effort to help and befriend the younger apprentices who just got started: Foxpaw and Icepaw. Since he’s not training in the Dark Forest anymore, he starts sleeping better and begins to realize that he was always grumpy with his clanmates partly due to not getting enough sleep and feels like a weight has been lifted from him since he isn’t lying to them anymore either. His powers truly start to come to him at this time. At the very end of the book, he gets to retry his warrior assessment and passes.

During the epilogue of this book, Firestar gives Lionpaw his warrior name: Lionblaze. This is from Jaypaw’s perspective and he notices Firestar giving Hollyleaf and Lionblaze the same awkward, distant treatment that he’s been feeling this whole time. Jaypaw can’t take it anymore with Firestar’s weirdness around himself and his siblings. Just as he’s trying to figure out ways to confront his leader about it, Firestar calls Jaypaw to his den to speak to him privately. It’s here that Firestar reveals the Power of Three prophecy to Jaypaw. But before he gets a reaction from Jaypaw or even confirmation that Firestar knows Jay, Lion, and Holly are the ones in the prophecy, the book ends.

Okay, hang onto your butts cause this is where we start tossing the rest of the books into the preverbal salad bowl. And like when I’m forced to eat a salad bowl, I’m going to just start picking and choosing what I want and leaving the rest behind like the garbage that it is.

#warriors #warrior cats #power of three #rewrite #dark river #jayfeather #lionblaze #hollyleaf

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artemis-entreri · 2 years ago

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[[ This post contains the Introduction section of my review/analysis of the Forgotten Realms/Drizzt novel, Glacier’s Edge, by R. A. Salvatore. As such, the entirety of this post’s content is OOC. ]]

Genre: Fantasy

Series: The Way of the Drow: Book 2 | Legend of Drizzt #38 (#35 if not counting The Sellswords)

Publisher: Harper Collins (August 09, 2022)

My Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Additional Information: Artwork for the cover of Glacier’s Edge and used above is originally done by David Palumbo. This post CONTAINS SPOILERS. Furthermore, this discussion concerns topics that I am very passionate about, and as such, at times I do use strong language. Read and expand the cut at your own discretion.

As of this point, I am still finishing this document. I will be posting the subsequent sections. The table of contents will be updated when it is complete.

Contents:

Introduction (you are here)

I. Positives I.1 Sublime Similes and Marvelous Metaphors I.2 Other Effective Imagery I.3 Consistent Lore and Decent Worldbuilding I.4 Respectable and Respectful Characterization

II. Neutrals

III. Negatives (Technical Writing)

IV. Negatives (Characterization)

V. World Breaks

VI. Religious Commentary

VII. Ego Stroking

VIII. Problematic Themes

IX. What’s Next

Introduction

Glacier’s Edge is the second book in a series that is intended to rewrite drow history, both for this series, and within D&D and the Forgotten Realms setting and novels. This process began in Relentless, the final book of the preceding trilogy, the events of which were further hammered into place in Starlight Enclave, the book immediately preceding this one.

In Glacier’s Edge, the cliffhanger left at the end of Starlight Enclave is resolved, with Jarlaxle freeing himself from icy entrapment and finding his way back to Callidae. Instead of the reinforcements he’d hoped to find to assist in freeing his friends, Jarlaxle is met with a stubborn refusal of aid, to the extent that he accepts having his memories erased so that he can leave the city. Once more back in the arctic northlands, Jarlaxle contacts Kimmuriel, who brings him back to the Sword Coast, reuniting him with Azzudonna, who had been staying at the Ivy Mansion after Gwenhwyvar pulled her through the planes to deposit her at Catti-brie’s home. The various friends and associates of the missing party had been attempting to find out from Azzudonna what befell them, to no avail. The mystery is eventually solved by Jarlaxle going to the hivemind with Kimmuriel and having his memories restored. Jarlaxle assembles a hand-picked team that returns to the icy cavern where their friends are entrapped, bringing together Pikel Bouldershoulder, Gromph Baenre, Kimmuriel Oblodra, Ilnezhara, Tazmikella, Grandmaster Kane, and of course, the Companions of the Hall. They do battle against the slaad god Ygorl and the legions of icy undead creatures under his control, ultimately triumphing in rescuing all the entrapped people and bringing Drizzt to Callidae for the ultimate validation of one of the greatest Mary Sues to have ever existed in literature.

Glacier’s Edge also shows the unfurling of the civil war that had been brewing for two years following the events of Relentless. Quenthel and Yvonnel Baenre lead a faction seeking freedom from Lolth’s clutches against the rest of the city. They have a chance in the struggle due to the Baenre house being bolstered by the thousand Blaspheme, which is the name given to the former driders. However, the more things change, the more they stay the same, as even after enduring decades, centuries, or millenia of torture, some Blaspheme choose to return to the embrace of Lolth. As the Baenre wage war against tradition and the Spider Queen, the drow of Menzoberranzan reexamine themselves and everything they’ve ever known, all the while engaging in deception, intrigue, betrayal, and other practices most familiar.

When I set out to rate Glacier’s Edge, I thought that it might warrant a higher rating than its predecessor. Much of what led me to give Starlight Enclave the low rating that I assigned it was the horrible worldbuilding and what I feel to be the disaster clusterfuck that is Callidae. Although Glacier’s Edge builds upon what was established in Starlight Enclave, it is mostly set outside of Callidae, meaning that if evaluated on its own, Glacier’s Edge should receive the merit of not containing the god-awful worldbuilding. Unfortunately, Glacier’s Edge finds both old and new ways to fail. The comparatively small portion of time that we spend in Callidae or with the Callidaens does not make either more endearing. Salvatore seems so utterly convinced about the perfection of his newest toys that he’s utterly oblivious to immensely glaring issues with what shows of Callidae and its people. The Callidaens’ behaviors, beliefs and practices are the same as those of egomanical, xenophobic and borderline narcissists, but because it’s Callidae none of those characteristics could possibly be the case (wink wink). It's more than that the city apparently has the same plot armor enshrouding Drizzt, as Salvatore further twists the characters that we’ve known into things that we no longer recognize, all for the sake of boosting Callidae. As such, if anything, the influence of Callidae is greater and worse in Glacier’s Edge than in Starlight Enclave, which is impressive in a sick sort of way given that less than one third of the book takes place in or around Callidae.

A lot of the negative aspects of Salvatore’s writing that had improved in the recent books return in full force. The objectification of female characters is back, made even more disgusting by having male characters put in the same scenarios while having them treated wholly differently, which is to say with respect and consideration. The sexualization of sapphic interactions is back, made more unsettling by not only employing it in a rape scenario, but also positioned in such a way that neckbeards can say that it’s used to contrast against a (positive) heterosexual sex scene that takes place right before the sapphic sex scene. The over-the-top NO HOMO message about Jarlaxle’s canonical pansexuality and profuse explanation in each situation that involves something vaguely resembling intimacy between him and another male character. And of course, double standards all over the place, to say nothing about the profound amount of lore erasure and ridiculous warping of D&D mechanics and history. It would not be a Salvatore book without some, “boo hoo woe is me I don’t deserve to be the whipping boy of fantasy” crying by the author and truly pitifully transparent likening of his critics to the gnolls that Drizzt brutally and indiscriminately massacres (apparently he didn't get the memo that like the drow, gnolls aren't all inherently evil). Oh, and Drizzt reaches even newer heights of Mary Sue perfection, but who’s surprised by that anymore.

There was a time when I thought the final book of the Homecoming Trilogy, Hero, was the worst book Salvatore ever wrote. At the time, I felt this way because of how much it trampled on Artemis Entreri’s characterization. Looking back now, I almost want to laugh, because this current trilogy drops the floor to depths that I didn’t even think existed. That floor might as well be an elevator whose cord is cut, with how it's free-falling into the depths. I’m not holding out a great amount of hope for the as of yet unnamed final book to follow, if it follows the trend set since Boundless, it’s going to be the new worst Drizzt book ever. I guess in some perverse way I admire Salvatore’s ability to set a new low and then exceed his own records by creating the most impressive literary borehole to date. I desperately want it not to be, and although it’s always been foolish for me to hold out hope that the quality of these books will improve, it’s gotten to the point that I’d be a laughingstock among laughingstocks if I continue to trulybelieve that. At the risk of sounding overly pessimistic, I don’t think things with these books will improve ever again, given this is what we’re served. The one upside is that some of the technical writing in Glacier’s Edge is better, so I guess that’s something, even if it's not going to be the reason that Salvatore fanbois will continue to give his horrible writing five stars.

#legend of drizzt #Forgotten Realms #Glacier's Edge #The Way of the Drow Trilogy #Drizzt #Drizzt Do'Urden #R A Salvatore #book review #ooc

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outoftheirdifferences · 1 year ago

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"Huuuuh..."

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully as Steven explained how his parents got along, and about Rose wanting to make something new. One thing in particular, she wasn't sure she quite grasped: she got what he meant, that it was who someone was at present that was most important, not who they had been... but as a girl with strong passions for learning and for history, it was hard for her to imagine just getting together with someone and not asking a million questions about the other person's life and backstory and simply everything.

Then again, maybe that was just her being weird again. On top of which, she also couldn't really imagine herself getting together with anyone, full stop, so she really wasn't one to judge.

Of course, the explanations following on from that were enough to put the former line of thought out of Webby's mind almost completely.

"So she... wait... is that normal for gems?"

Someone else might have protested to Steven looking like he was about to start undressing; Webby, however, barely gave it a second thought as she squinted at the gemstone embedded in the boy's stomach. She didn't exactly have Scrooge's practiced eye for valuables, but hers were keen nonetheless: and to her, it looked like it would pass for any other stone of its kind that might have been found in the treasure haul from one of their adventures. She didn't doubt Steven, for Webby was used to mythical and unusual things, but it still took a stretch of the imagination to think that it could be a living being.

"So is she still inside there somewhere? You did say it was just her physical form she gave up..."

Or was she misunderstanding something here?

Steven was waiting until that moment of the story to say so, but it seemed Webby was clever enough to figure it out on her own. And that was cool of her.

"Hehe… Yup.” Might as well be straightforward about it. “My dad, Greg Universe, decided the life of a traveling musician no longer called to him after he met that tall, mysterious pink-haired woman. And the bond they formed was by no means perfect; I mean, they were from two totally different worlds. But they talked, and they made it work,” Steven explained with a fond smile.

“I guess they meshed together so well ‘cause they both left behind old lives to reinvent themselves. And neither needed to know who they used to be, because it’s who they were in the moment that was important. My dad got a job in Beach City at the local car wash, and then the old owner retired, giving the car wash to him. And mom? Well, she grew even more interested in human beings. She thought it was amazing how natural it is for humans to grow and change.

"And…I guess she really wanted to create something new like that. Something like a Gem but could grow like a human. Thing is, she kinda needed to give up her gem to the new thing she created to make it happen like that, which meant, well…basically giving up herself. …I’m not gonna pretend to imagine why she decided to do it like that, but she felt strongly enough about it to go through with it. So, Rose Quartz gave up her physical form to bring me into the world.”

Steven tugged up on his shirt so that Webby could see the pink gemstone in his navel region, pausing a moment to look down pensively at it. “I got Mom’s gem. And her powers with it. It was just a matter of figuring out how to use 'em.”

#biscuitincharge #charmingly violent best friend [webby]#v; solving mysteries and rewriting history #ic

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eviiltriiplet-archive · 7 years ago

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@galaxyblooded liked

“I’ve been waiting for You!”

#galaxyblooded #v; stars and stardust and infinite space is my only home. (moon child au.)#dialogue from: real life scary places #out solving mysteries and rewriting history. (queue.)

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abiskibita · 4 years ago

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Some doodles I had saved and for some reason forgot to upload.

UPLOADED THIS AGAIN BECAUSE IT DOES NOT APPEAR ON THE HASHTAGS!!! :'v

OK I ALREADY UPLOADED THIS PUBLICATION TWICE AND I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHY IT DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE HASHTAGS!!!!

Reference to this image

Yes, this is from the book on mystery solving and rewriting history and I think maybe Scrooge didn’t say that the girl he was riding with was Goldie, and yes, she was driving.

This doodle arose thanks to the idea of @promiseddifferent with her beautiful fic!!! It helped me feel better after all the fuss that happened last Monday. :’3

I would like to see this at the end of the season XDD

I also share a drawing of Scroldie, I do not consider it NSFW but ...

#I DON'T KNOW WHY HASHTAGS DON'T WORK #ducktales #scroldie #fanart #ducktales 2017 #scrooge mcduck #goldie o'gilt #myart #ducktales fanart #CURSE YOU TUMBLR #tags-not-working

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outoftheirdifferences · 5 months ago

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"I'm not saying they will, but just in case. People can get a little jumpy about new faces, you know?"

Of course he knew; she'd tied him and his brothers up from the ceiling when she'd first met them; and if there were other kids like her here then, well...

Letting that sentence stand alone for a moment, the duck girl led the way, squeezing through a narrow gap in the fence, then waving for Huey to follow. The grounds beyond were overgrown and clearly hadn't been tended to for a long time, and beyond them...

Oh, right, she owed Huey an explanation, didn't she? She knew that he didn't like uncertainty; and yet here she was, letting her enthusiasm drag them both off... as she waited on the other side of the fence, Webby forced herself to pause her hurry.

"Okay so... I didn't expect to find this place again, but there's a bit of an old labyrinth on these grounds that I may or may not have been to before with Granny for top secret training purposes."

She was absolutely, to use a term she'd learned from Dewey, nailing keeping the secret, Webby was sure.

"In the centre there's something I think you'll like; a locked vault of secret knowledge. I figure the two of us together can work out how to open it; and I know it'll be worth it if we do. Finding it is no problem for me. Only..."

Okay, this was the bit he probably wasn't going to like. Webby shuffled her feet a little.

"Sometimes other young warriors come here, too. We might be the only ones here today but I can't guarantee it; and the competition can get pretty fierce. BUT--"

She tried to catch his eye with a determination that was meant to be reassuring "--I promise if you stick with me I won't let anything happen to you, okay?"

@outoftheirdifferences said ;; "If anyone tries to hurt you, they'll have to go through me first." From Webby, from the protectiveness meme. Thanks for liking my inbox call! :D

✧ — ⋆ Huey stares at Webby for one moment, and then another, and then finally; " Why would somebody try to hurt me? " The words are quick and slightly panicked before he looks around.

" Webby, where are you taking me? " He should really start asking Webby more questions before he wonders off on ~adventures~ with her.

#rednephew #charmingly violent best friend [webby]#v; solving mysteries & rewriting history #ic #I hope this context works okay!#Sorry it got a bit long #I think I got a bit carried away coming up with it xD;#No need to match my length if we continue with it ^^#--queue in progress

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wallsinner · 5 years ago

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Training Wheels | 1 | Jean x F!Reader

Title: Training Wheels Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Female Reader Warnings: Swearing, Discussions of Virginity, Eventual Smut, Chapter Summary: Your friend Jean has a lot to complain about. Words: 2k Notes: I first started writing this in 2016(!!) and you can find this first chapter in it's first draft on ao3 if you're that way inclined, but I rewrote it, replanned it and I'm *so* excited to be rewriting it. The first chapter of Tear in my Heart -- aka the story from Jean's POV -- will be up on Monday at around 10PM GMT.

If there is one mystery you want solved, one question you want answered, it was why are you genetically predisposed to being the laziest of assholes. You’ve been so since you were a kid and personally, you blame your father because it’s a habit you’ve picked up from him at the very least. And you always suffer for it.

Like, right now, you are suffering because you’re more than well aware that if you’d gotten out of your pit of a bed when your alarm had rung this morning, then you would have had plenty of time to get your butt into the kitchen and produce yourself a tasty sandwich -- or maybe even a salad -- from what you’ve salvaged from the fridge, but oh no, what had you done?

You’d snoozed the alarm, twice. And then when you were finally ready to be awake, you’d lay in bed for forty-five minutes needlessly scrolling through your phone, checking your notes on Tumblr, your Snapchat and your Instagram stories. Hell… you’d even gone on Facebook even though nobody even uses Facebook in this day and age. Then you’d clicked over to Buzzfeed, done a couple of quizzes to find out which Disney Princess you were and played a couple of rounds of solitaire. And then you’d realized the time and jumped in and out of the shower, choosing instead of washing your hair, to slip the head of the shower beneath your legs, which had led you to not even having time to dry off and to just toss some clothes on, grab your bag and get out the door.

You had good intentions every morning, but… you just didn’t act on them. And this was why you used your shower head every morning because you were such a flake that no dude wanted to come near you. Well, that and the company you kept.

And so you’d had no breakfast and two long lectures had basically put you into starvation mode and so you’d had no choice but to drag yourself to the caf and get the special of the day -- which claimed to be shepherds pie, but should have been renamed ‘brown sludge with white bits and the odd pea’ -- which you were like… a thousand percent sure you were going to get food poisoning from, but hey, at least your stomach wouldn’t be eating itself.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow you will be better. You will get out of bed when your alarm goes off, you will go downstairs and get some breakfast and then you’ll have a long shower -- but you won’t masturbate, trying to get the shower head on that one spot is far too time consuming -- and put together something that is fit for human consumption to bring for lunch. Hell, when you get back home tonight maybe you’ll even take the time to sniff everything that’s on the floordrobe and maybe put it in the washing,

Maybe you’ll even fully clean your room while you’re waiting for the spin cycle to complete.

Actually, nah, maybe you’ll just watch the new episode of Catfish and eat a fat bowl of pasta.

You shudder as you look down at the ‘food’ again and with disdain, put the plastic fork (sidenote -- you know that Trost Community College ain’t exactly Oxbridge, but would it kill them to dish out the cash for one of those industrial dishwashers instead of trying to kill the planet you have to raise your children on -- near your mouth. You’re real tempted to hold your nose while you gulp it down, but you don’t really want to give Hitch Dreyse and her crew more ammunition for thinking you’re weird, so you just brace yourself and shove it in.

Well.

At least it doesn’t taste as bad as it looks. Definitely nothing gourmet, but if you distract yourself, then you’re probably gonna be able to finish it. You shove another forkful in and whip your phone out of your pocket, loading up Lovestruck and deciding to reread a few chapters of Ash Winters to distract yourself.

You’re about to come to one of the best sex scenes in the whole ‘book’, ignoring the world around you when a loud thump pulls you away from your Gangster bae. Peering over the top of your phone, you catch a glimpse of a thick, Art History book -- the cause of the thump, you’re sure -- as Jean slides into the seat opposite you.

You’ve known Jean forever. He’s basically the Boy Next Door, except he’s less Boy Next Door and more Boy Down the Road and on the Right Hand Side. He’s the only one of your little group of friends -- The Raspberry Crew, as you’d decided to name yourselves when you were five -- who still lives there. And like you, he’s also dumb as a bunch of rocks so he’s at community college too, so you spend a lot of time together.

“Hi.” You say.

He doesn’t reply, just looks at you and narrows his eyes as he pulls his own lunch out. It’s in a brown paper bag and of course it was handmade lovingly by the wonderful Mrs. Kirschtein, who was the nicest woman you knew and adored her son so much. Whereas your own mother liked to yell at you all the time to get out of bed and stop being a fuck up. Rude. Is it too late for her to adopt you?

“Okay,” you tell him. “I’ll bite. What’s going on?”

He looks up at you and the expression on his face changes from someone who wants to commit a murder, to someone who just watched their puppy get kicked into the sun. “It’s… nothing, really. It’s just…” he gives a big dramatic sigh. “Finally official.”

“What,” you ask him. “In all of the seven hells are you talking about?”

He looks around in an over dramatic gesture, to make sure that nobody is looking at the two of you and them just as over dramatically he leans in to you. “It is official.” His voice is a stage whisper, so that nobody can hear the two of you, like he’s in fucking Hamlet or some shit. “I’m the last virgin in Trost.”

And in hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea to take a bite of your food as he was speaking because you splutter, covering his face in little bits of half-chewed mince and reach for your water. When he’s wiped his face and your choking has subsided, you look him in the eye. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me,” he snarls. “I know you did and I’m not repeating myself again.”

“Yeah,” you nod. “I, uh, I definitely heard you, I’m just wondering if I heard you right. And if I did infact hear you right, I’m wondering when exactly between your Mom coddling you, your lectures, moping after Mikasa Ackerman and your homework did you manage to go around canvassing Trost to come to this conclusion. Cuz uh, if you did Kirsch then you’ve screwed your numbers up because you’re probably not the only one with your V-Plates still on this room, let alone in Trost.” You are technically a virgin, you’ve fooled around with a few people, sure and you’re pretty sure Jean just assumes you lost it to Marcel Galliard because he did walk in on you at a party with his dick in your mouth that one time, but are you going to admit that nothing but the streams from your shower head have penetrated you? Fuck no, you know he’s got a big mouth. “Also… there are children in Trost.” Jean is seemingly as disgusted by you that your brain went there judging by the fact he balls up his brown bag and throws it at your head.

“Sometimes I think there is something very wrong with you.” Shucks, you’re flattered, but hey at least it distracted him from his misery for all of five seconds. “But okay fine, all of the people in Trost who are of age,” he tells you through gritted together.

“Again,” you ask. “When was this survey conducted?” You push your plate away because honestly this conversation had made your appetite much, much less raging.

“I didn’t do a fucking survey,” he tells you a little more aggressive than is necessary in your opinion. “I just know and do you want to know how I know?”

Honestly, you didn’t really because you never know what the hell is going to come out of his mouth, but you know that if you say you don’t want to know then he is just going to ignore your wishes and come out with it anyway so you just keep quite and say nothing and barely five seconds pass, before he opens his mouth again.

“Marco.”

“Oh,” you can’t help but laugh because Marco Bodt is the nicest human being and at one point you had the hugest crush on him and you honestly can’t picture him bullying Jean by taunting him, it’s too surreal. “So Marco did the survey? Or die he come up to you and say…” you put on your best Marco voice. “Oh hey Jean, did you know you’re the last…” and the look on Jean’s face is another for you to shut your fucking mouth and not finish that sentence.

“There was no survey,” he’s talking to you through gritted teeth again and you can see the tips of his ears are a fiery red, a sure sign he is about to loose his temper. “Forget about the fucking survey. I came by to see if you were getting the bus this morning and your Mom said your ass was still in bed, so I walked over to his instead,” he takes a deep breathe. “His Mom sent me straight up to his room because he was still getting ready, which I thought was really weird because when is Marco ever late to anything and well… he and that brunette from his Psychology class were in bed together.”

Well, your appetite is definitely gone now, former crush or not, it’s never nice to hear something like that about someone you once liked. “…That doesn’t mean they’ve slept together, we’ve slept in the same bed together and has your dick been inside me? No, not it has not.”

“Trust me,” Jean shudders. “I left them too it and when I spoke to him earlier, well, he turned into a human tomato at the mention of her name.” He pauses. “Plus her tits were out.” Ugh, you can feel the brown sludge on the move and you know the brunette he’s talking about and you really, really hope that Mina Carolina took her pigtails out when she got smashed and oh your God, you cannot believe you just thought of sweet angel Marco and smashing, where did that brown bag go, you may need it. “And the last time we slept in a bed together we were both six.”

“Nah, it was last April when you got fucked at Reiner Braun’s party and I had to bring you home with me so your mother wouldn’t see you in that state.” You wave your hand, indicating that you want to change the subject. “Did I really need to know about Marco? I’m sure he’d prefer you kept that one quiet.”

“You’re the one who made me prove my life is over.”

“Oh puh-lease, your life is not over. You are just an overdramatic fuck. It will happen.”

“Oh yeah? When?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “Oh let me just consult my crystal ball! Look, Jean, it will happen when you meet the right…”

“I swear to God, if you say when I meet the right person… I already did remember?” He sends a longing look across the caf and you don’t even have to follow his eyeline to know where he’s looking. At Mikasa Ackerman of course, a girl he met at the beginning of your time here, she’s Eren, a sort of frenemy of sorts of Jean’s foster sister. You’d thought it was kind of cute at first, until she’d gotten a girlfriend and he’d stayed as deluded as ever.

“Remember that time when ‘Kasa told you that even if she wasn’t with Annie she wouldn’t give you the time of day?” He doesn’t look away from her, so you’re guessing he didn’t hear you. Or he’s choosing to pretend he didn’t hear you. “Jean!”

“What?”

“Look, I promise you that it’ll happen. You’ve just got to wait it out.”

He pulls a face and starts gathering his things up. “Whatever. You don’t know that.”

You grin at him mischievously. “Oh it will, because if it hasn’t happened by your thirty-fifth birthday, I’ll buy you a hooker.”

“Fuck you.” He tells you, but there’s no actual malice in his words. You just smirk at him.

And the two of you go your separate ways for the rest of the day.

#mywriting #jean kirschtein #jean kirschtein x reader #jean #it's been so long since i've shared something like this #so i'm nervous #i hope u like

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outoftheirdifferences · 1 year ago

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"Well, that could have been worse."

star wars: knights of the old republic, vol i. ∕ sentence starters

"Oh yeah, for sure."

Sitting up, brushing leaves out of her hair, Webby surveyed the debris around them. If it wasn't the best she'd ever come out of an adventure, it also sure wasn't the worst either. And hey, they'd got what they'd come for...

Whatever exactly it was. A relic of Rossiel's history, she had gathered: but while Webby knew plenty about the ancient culture's of earth, she felt like she'd only just scratched the surface of all there was to know about her new friend's people.

She just still wasn't sure she should ask, when it was a sensitive subject for the other girl.

Rather, she shrugged, rubbed the back of her head a little.

"I mean, I always feel like any top secret infiltration that you can get out of without getting almost sacrificed to an undead mummy is a successful one, heh."

#askrossiel #ic #meme response #charmingly violent best friend [webby]#v; solving mysteries and rewriting history #I'm sorry this is so ridiculously late!#I couldn't think of a good reply at first #and then I forgot about the ask entirely xD;;;#...was it *actually* a top secret infiltration or is Webby exaggerating? ...honestly either is plausible!

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joyofcrime-elinorhigh · 6 years ago

Text

2017 Year in REVIEW: Part 2

Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt and welcome to the final week of Deviant-cember! It's been fun ride, but it's time to wrap up 2017. And I'm doing by going over all the major animated series/animation related news that came out this year, ranking the shows from best to worse, and deciding which animation network "won" the year. If you haven't seen part one yet I suggest you check it out before continuing this part, 2017 Year in REVIEW: Part 1 But for those of you who have seen the first part, let's just jump back into things. Teen Titans Go! had another miniseries this year as a follow up to Island Adventures. This time, based off the episode "40% 40% 20%." one of the most popular episodes of the series. And to celebrate this event Cartoon Network decided to have a marathon airing nothing but Teen Titans Go! and the newly premiered O.K. For an entire week! I'm starting to feel numb to this. This is the "Night Begins To Shine" Miniseries, how was it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGIe8d9w8O4

Now before I get into this, I do feel like I need to briefly go over my opinion on the episode "40% 40% 20%" since that's the episode that this miniseries is directly based on. And my opinion on it is pretty much the same as everybody else's. The episode is great, and shows that Teen Titans Go! can be genuinely good when it wants to be. The episode featured a stylish art style, a story that focused on abstract visual storytelling, and a really catchy song. The episode isn't without it's faults, but it is one of the best Teen Titans Go! episodes, in my opinion. So how did this sequel do? Well let's start with the positives. The visuals in the music word are still really good, capturing the 80's aesthetic perfectly. It honestly reminds me a lot of Moonbeam City. Anybody remember Moonbeam City? No, oh. Okay... The covers of the song "Night Begins to Shine" by Fall Out Boys, CeeLo Green, and Puffy Ami Yumi were also neat to hear. Especially Puffy Ami Yumi, it was a nice throw back to the old show having them preform. However, I do wish that more time where devoted to these covers. However, the special does have it's fault. One problem, surprisingly, is that the special focuses too much on story. Complex stories are not Teen Titans Go's! strong suit. Part of the reason why "40% 40% 20%" worked so well was because of it's simplicity. It focused less on story and more on visuals and atmosphere. But by trying to stretch the story out to an hour, and giving the music world this whole backstory it takes away that simplicity. Also we spend a lot of time in the real world, away from the psychedelic visuals that we all came for. And while "Night Begin's To Shine," plus the new song they make are both extremely catchy, they aren't enough to fill up an entire hour. And since all the covers are all shoved in at the end, the song kinda get's old after a while. And visually they don't really do much new with the music world that wasn't done in the first episode. However, I don't want to be to hard on the episode, because unlike a lot of other episodes, you can really feel the passion that went into it. It feels like the people behind TTG were really trying to make something epic. And while I don't think it entirely works one hundred percent of the time, I do give them an A for effort. The special is better than Island Adventure from a technical standpoint, but it doesn't have the "so bad it's good" element that Island Adventure had. So it's kinda up to you're own personal preference to figure out which mini-series is more enjoyable. But that's not all CN did, as like I said before, It wasn't just a Teen Titans Go! marathon, but also a marathon for there new show "OK KO: Let's Be Heroes."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWyHZQARrnM

OK KO: Let's Be Heroes, created by Ian Jones-Quartey, follows the adventures of KO, a young optimistic kid who work's at a mall plaza. The twist however being that it's set in a world with the rules and logic of a shonen anime or a beat-em-up video game, and by working at the plaza he'll be able to fulfill his dream of becoming a hero. Already the show has a lot of promise with it's premise alone, but how does it succeed in terms of execution? Let's start with the characters. They're all pretty good for the most part. KO is a very likable character very reminiscent of the young hot blooded shonen protagonist that he is inspired by. Enid works well as the straight woman- But not to straight, ammiright!? Up top!

Oh man, we got ourselves a sad lonely lesbian up in in this hiz-ous! Quick, Somebody give this show an Emmy! Also I'd like to give special mention to Lord Boxman and his robot children, who are my personal favorite characters. Imagine Megaman's Dr. Willy and his robot masters crossed with Team Rocket from the Pokemon anime. The only character who I'm not super crazy about is Rad. He's not awful or anything, but his obnoxious personality can definitely become overbearing at points. Also his entire character arc is pretty much just Lars' character arc from Steven Universe, only not as well done. But he doesn't ruin the show for me or anything. The animation for the show is kinda hit or miss. The show has a very sketchy art style that people seem to either love or hate. Personally, it's not really something I gravitate to. Though I do admire that it has an art style that looks different from the traditional "CN" art style that we've seen so much of the last couple of years and also do like how it has a kinda "middle school doodle" aesthetic to it. It's not a bad art style, just not really my thing. However, what is a bigger problem is the consistency of the characters designs. And thus we enter the online debate that's been haunting the animation community have been having since Ren and Stimpy came out in the nineties. Is off model animation ugly or expressive? I feel like it can work in some cases, but I don't think it works here. Characters look off model so much that it just comes off as sloppy. Which is a shame because if we're talking just about the actual movement this has some of the most fluid animation that I've seen in any Cartoon Network series. I also have a bit of the problem with the writing. I don't know what tone this show is trying to go for. Half the time it seems like it's trying to be this super silly cartoon while the other half of the time it tries to be a serious lore show and it doesn't gel well. The comedic elements mix well with the lore, like having the big season one mystery revolve around a falling sandwich. I just couldn't find myself caring about it all. Also the shows main evil shadowy figure pulling the strings name is Shadowy Figure. I'm sorry I can't take this villain seriously. Coupled with some episodes with some really hammered in morals and a odd amount of gimmicky episodes, the show ends up feeling like a jumble of interesting yet disconnected ideas without any clear cohesion. But is the show bad? No. What I think saves the show is the characters. They are genuinely likable and I like just seeing how they interact with each other. It's defiantly an improvement over there last couple of shows (Ben 10, Mighty Magiswords, Powerpuff Girls,) but I don't think it lives up to some of there other modern classics (Like Steven Universe, Adventure Time, or We Bare Bears.) OK KO is Okay...KO. The unwatch button is down there. I completely understand. Meanwhile Disney decided to get into the reboot game with Ducktales 2017. And can i just say that I genuinely think that if they didn't use the old theme song everybody would hate this show. Like they could keep everything else the exact same, but if they cut the theme song down to say thirty seconds like most cartoons now of days people would hate this as much as they hate the Powerpuff Girls reboot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKSU82afy1w

Well the show doesn't have any of the original voice actor and the creator's different, so the show must be awful right guys? Okay cool, done. Next show- No, obviously I'm kidding. Let's talk about Ducktales 2017. No need to spend to much time on the plot, cause it's Ducktales. You all know the story. Three trouble making young ducks move in with there rich adventure loving Uncle Scrooge, and shenanigans ensue. They solve mysteries, rewrite histories ect. Disney hyped this show to hell, and even aired the hour long series premiere TWENTY FOUR TIMES IN A ROW! I really wanna know, was there anybody who watched ALL twenty four showings back to back to back? I mean someone must of, right? Now I don't know much about Ducktales. It was WAY before my time, though from what I can gather this is a pretty good series in terms of it being a reboot. It isn't just adapting the old show. It's combining elements of the old show, the comics, and new ideas and that's honestly the best way to go about a reboot in my personal opinion. I'm glad they just make it a rehash with all the still living cast members returning, and a ton of wink and nod references to the old show that new fans won't understand. I give the show a lot of props for that. I also want to praise the shows beautiful art style. I love how it looks like a comic book, not only calling back the series roots, but also giving it a unique visual identity. The show is also really funny, having a very clever wit mixed with a very comically exaggerated world. The world feels very comic book-y and has a real sense of fun to it. It's cool seeing all the creative shrines and temples that exist in this world, just waiting to be explored. The characters range in quality, though that may not be the shows fault as episodes are being aired out of order, and as such the amount of attention given to each cast member is not equal. But I won't hold that against the show. However, the show is far from perfect. It suffers a bit from what I call Milo's Murphy's Law syndrome. As in, the show is great on it's own but is so similar to what came before that it takes away some of the enjoyment. "But JoyofCrimeArt" I hear you saying "I thought you said that this show wasn't rehashing the original Ducktales cartoon." And it's not. It's rehashing Gravity Falls. Okay, maybe "rehash" is a strong word, but It's hard to not notice the similarities. I don't know if this show is borrowing from Gravity Falls or if Gravity Falls was actually just a ripping off the original Ducktales and it just took me five years to realize it, but just take a look at the similarities.

We got a group of tween age twins/triplets-

-who move in with there miserly jerk with a heart of gold great uncle.

And a socially awkward spunky girl with a grappling hook-

-Who are trying to solve a mystery involving a missing personal. All without letting the miserly uncle know what's going on.

With the miserly uncles dim witted older assistant-

-and a cool "older sister" like role model along for the ride.

With an antagonist who is a rival businessmen to the miserly uncle. Seriously, it's pretty blatant. And to be fair it's not an exact rip-off or anything. Some things are executed differently. The world and comedy of Ducktales is definitely a lot more cartoon-y and over the top than Gravity Falls. And there are elements in one but not the other for sure. But there are definite parallels, and judging by the marketing Disney is doing for this show it seems pretty clear that they want this to be their "new Gravity Falls." It's not that the show is bad per say, but it's hard for me to not compare it to Gravity Falls, and I'm sorry but Gravity Falls is definitely the better of the two series. In fact you could say that this show is basically...

Also can I just say that I don't give a crap about this shows lore. Like, at all. They try to do the big overarching mystery thing and I am just not invested at all. I like shows with lore, I really do, but this is far from a new concept at this point and if you're going to do it now you got to add something new to it But this is just the same beats. And I could be wrong, but I feel like I know exactly where it's going. Without going into to many specifics there's a character who mysteriously disappeared, and it looks like they did something really bad before disappearing. But I know their's going to be some explanation given to make their actions justifiable because I know they wouldn't make this character a bad guy. Their's another character who their playing up as working for the villain, but I know their going to give this character a redemption arc because that's what all lore shows like this do. Their doing that thing where they're solving this mystery but they don't want anybody to know about it, without any real reason why other than just the "we can't trust anybody" crap. Character's keep secrets from each other just so there can be more mystery. These tropes were new and innovated when shows like Gravity Falls and Steven Universe came out.. but that was a while ago and we've had a lot of mystery shows since then we've seen all these story beats in those shows, and nothing new is brought to the table. So yeah, I can't say that I love this show as much as most people. But that doesn't mean I hate it. Their are things I do really like about it. Like the humor, the cartoon-y atmosphere and the art style. But it is a shame when the mystery, the thing that's suppose to be the most enticing, ends up being the shows weakest element. I think if this show came out a couple years ago. before so may cartoons followed this kind of formula, I would of liked it a lot better. But hey, at least it's better than Marvel's Spider-Man. Ha-ha! Segway!

Yeah...this show doesn't really have a theme song... Now it's hard to talk about Marvel's Spider-Man without talking about the previous Disney XD Spider-Man series, Ultimate Spider-Man. I only watched a little over one season of USM before I dropped the series because honestly, it wasn't very good in my opinion. The whole show felt like it was made by a committee featuring dumbed down writing, obvious cross promotion to other Marvel properties, and a Spider-Man who came across less like a nerdy genius and more like an arrogant buffoon. So when this series was announced, with official press statements referring to it to a "back to basics" approach to the franchise, I was hopeful. How did the show turn out? Well...it's better than Ultimate. I think.... Honestly it seems odd that they cancelled Ultimate Spider-Man for this because the series feels like it has most of the problems that Ultimate Spider-Man had. Just slightly less so. The writing still feels dumbed down, but slightly less dumbed down. The series is less focused on cross promotion and mostly features Spider-Man characters, which is a plus as I though that Ultimate Spider-Man was a bit too "Marvel Universe Centrict." But that still hasn't stopped the show from already having an episode where Spider-Man meets Iron Man, and another episode where he meets the Hulk. IN THE FIRST FOURTEEN EPISODES. This version of Spider-Man is more of a nerd which is good, but they messed it up by going in the opposite direction by making him TOO MUCH of a nerd, with him constantly talking about how awesome science is at every possible opportunity. Also the animation of this show is really bad. Nothing is shaded properly, and it's very distracting. The only thing that I really like about this show is Norman Osborn. He's voiced by Josh Keaton, who played Spider-Man in the Spectacular Spider-Man and I was shocked to see how well is was able to pull off such an opposite character. He's just as petty and cartoonishly conniving as Norman Osborn should be. But other than that, the show doesn't have much to offer. It's clearly made for really little kids, and their isn't really much for adults. It's that bland kind of bad, where it feels like there just wasn't much passion put into this. I'm sure that's not true but that's how it feels. Speaking of reboots of 80's properties, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012 aired it's final episode after five seasons and over one hundred episodes. Now like I said in part one, I've only seen the first two seasons of this show, so I don't know how good the last three seasons where, but I'm glad that the show got a good run. From what I saw, it was a pretty great show. However what does annoy me is that Nickelodeon moved it to Nicktoons with only TEN EPISODES LEFT! Like really Nick? You couldn't just air the last ten? Meanwhile at Netflix, not satisfied with just one anime-esq cartoon project they decided to make another. This is...(sigh) This is Neo Yokio. Or, another installment in my side series series, (Oh, the Cringe!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLNRZ_1WyzM

Neo Yokio, created by Ezra Koenig and starring Jaden Smith was a show that was originally pitched to the Fox ADHD block, but ended up in a state of development limbo after said block got canned. But someone at Netflix decided that this show was something that the world desperately needed and decided to pick it up themselves. The series stars Kaz Kaan, the most popular bachelor in the entire city of Neo Yokio. He's you're average millionaire celebrity dealing with all the first world problems that a millionaire celebrity have to deal with. But he's also a demon hunter...and..and...and... Jaden Smith is younger than I am. How come he has his own anime?! I want my own anime! Come on Netflix, pick up "Average Spirit Warrior" please! This show is odd. Not just odd, it's an odd kind of odd that's hard to explain. I don't know what this show wants to be, and so I don't know how to judge it. Sometimes it seems like it's trying to be an action show. Other times it seems like it's trying to be a straight forward comedy. OTHER other times it seems like it's trying to be parody of anime. And other other OTHER times it feels like it's trying to be a serious show about social issues like the wealth gap and the gender spectrum?! Is there just some rule in the Netflix contracts that says that every Netflix show has to tackle gender identity, regardless of it it fits the series or not? Is that why Bill Nye's show had a rap about a vagina? Is that why? It has a real adult swim vibe, like they bought the rights to some obscure early 2000's anime and decided to make there own dub. The animation even has the quality to it to, with lots of really bad lip syncing. The show's art is also not that great, looking like it's ten years older than it actually is. The show varies in quality from so bad it's good, to actually pretty dull. Unlike other over the top weird anime Neo Yokio has a very slow pace, which makes everything feel at lot more mundane. Also Kaz is a very hard character to relate to because he is so rich and so oblivious to the world around him. Though the show does definitely have it's stand out moments. The show is so bizarre that there are plenty of funny "WTF" style moments, like the running gag with the Big Toblerone bar and some of Jaden Smiths bizarre spiritual-isms. Jaden Smith, while pretty monotone as a voice actor, did surprise me a couple of times with some okay comedic timing believe it or not. The show also has some interesting world building that I wished they elaborated more on. There's sort of this alternate history element to this world's history that result in a lot of creative idea. It's a world with no 9/11, the Soviets are still around, Japan and Italy are somehow one nation... You know I bet if your reading this without watching the show first I sound like a raving lunatic. WHY IS EZRA KOENIG MAKING AN ANIME? He's primarily a INDIE GUITARIST! Do I recommend watching it? Ehh, I can say that I have never seen a show quite like it...I'd say watch the trailer. It's a good representation of the show, and if you find that trailer "funny bad" then you'll probably get a kick out of this show. If not, then you can skip it. Overall, to me at least, the show just didn't have much synergy... But hey, don't say you love the anime if you haven't read the manga...

And Teen Titans Go! is getting a movie and wait...what? NEXT JULY!? Shouldn't there be like a...trailer or something out then?! I mean Spider-Verse has a trailer and that's not coming out till December! But hey..."In general, if a traditionally animated film comes out in theaters I'll see it just to support the medium." Right? I mean that's what I said in the last part...rIgHt?1 Now all the stuff that I've previously mentioned we're all fine, but none of it was grabbing the cartoon community attention to much. Ducktales came the closest, but with Rick and Morty Season three about to end there needed to be another show to be the new big thing. Then...Big Mouth Happened. Or...another installment in my newly booming side series (Oh, the Cringe!) REAL WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK! For Real.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8DlpO5UOnI

Now when I decided to watch this show in preparation for this review, I thought that I was going to be the only person in the cartoon community to really talk about it. I thought that this show would like "Legend of Chamberlain Heights" or "TripTank." An awful show, but a show that would fly under the radar just because of how "generically awful" it would be. That's why I was suprised when this show became the biggest hot topic in our community,and a widely debated topic at that. For real, I haven't seen a show this polarizing in a long time. People like Mr. Enter and I Hate Everything say that the show is awful, and one of the first cartoons ever, bordering child porn in terms of the content that the series shows. Other's like PhantomStrider on the other hand found the series to be a smart and deep dive into the lives of prepubescent adolescents and tackling the topic well. Which side do I land on? Ehh, somewhere in the middle I guess. I'll start with the pros of the show first. The show's biggest strength it's relatability. Being a show that tackles puberty it is almost impossible for you to not relate to this show on some level. This does help ground the world and get you into the characters easier because you see yourself in their shoes. The characters are fairly good for the most part, with Andrew being the most stand out character out of the main four kids. This I think was what surprised me the most, as most of these shows tend to make the characters assholes for the sake of being assholes but they stay mostly likable. Though the best character overall to me personally is The Ghost of Duke Ellington played by Jordan Peele. His performance is just so over the top and it's just such a random idea for a character that I can't help but kinda like it. Also there's this one gym coach character who I feel like I should be more annoyed by, but I kinda end up really liking. Though that might be just because he reminds me of Coach Z from Homestar Runner.

I show also covers a lot of topics that aren't covered in a lot of other shows, and covers them well. There is actual thought put into it. Honestly I think this show would be a good one to show somebody who is in puberty, as it gives a lot of informative info out in a much more personal way then most sex ed videos do. The internal continuity of the world is very hey wire. Sometimes people can see the hormone monsters, sometimes they can't. Sometimes they have the ability to effect the world around them, while other times it's kept ambiguous to weather or not they even are real, or just figments of the characters imagination. But I also don't think that it's really the point of the show. I think it's just whatever is funnier in the moment. There's a fluidness to the reality. However, there are definitely some problems with the show. Whenever the humor is trying to be crass or offensive the jokes tend to land a lot less. The show can end up becomes genuinely uncomfortable, and there were a lot of moments where I did end up changing tabs while watching. Being on Netflix they are able to get away with a lot, including showing full uncensored penis, vagina's, semen, and more. Often times involving the kids, and there is a real creep factor to it. I know the shows about puberty and that's the subject matter, but I feel like this is a rare case where "show don't tell" doesn't apply to storytelling. This is the shows biggest issue, and it's hard to ignore cause it's in almost every episode. The shows art style also isn't the best. It has this "Family Guy meets Klasky Csupo" look to it. And those are to properties that aren't most well regarded for there animation. Overall I can say that I did enjoy the show more than I was expecting to. Though keep in mind my expectations were "Brickleberry." I think the show is more good than bad though, with the comedy and the likable characters being the saving grace. But if you don't like ugly animation or gross out, then just pull out now. Meanwhile in the real world McDonalds released the "Mulan Schezwan Sauce" to the public for one day only. All in honor of a Rick and Mortyjoke from the first episode of season three. Fan's rioted as there was not enough supply to meet demand, leading to the story getting national coverage from major news outlets. Honestly, I have nothing to add to this, I just think it's funny. But forget about joy, it's time to become suddenly all serious and depressing! As the #MeToo movement happened several animators where accused of sexual misconduct. Some of the names of those accused include Loud House creator Chris Savino and Head of Pixar and Disney animation John Lassenter. I do want you to keep in mind though that these are just accusations. It seems like lately when a celebrity is accused of something like this people always decide that their guilty until proven innocent. Because they don't want to come off as victim shaming. However that doesn't mean they didn't do it either...yeah I have nothing else to really say here. Chris Savino was fired and John Lassenter was put on a six month leave, with rumors saying he'll be fired afterwards. Um...there's no non awkward way to segway out of this topic is there? Crap. Um, anyway Teen Titans Go! had there 200th episode. And guess how they celebrated. Go ahead, just make an educated guess. Well if you said an almost four day Teen Titans Go! marathon over Thanksgiving weekend, then you'd be right!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7MWNWJReqU

Okay well, at least this one was actually celebrating something! So there's that at least!

Meanwhile the same night Nickelodeon premiered "Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie." The finale thirteen years in the making.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfSPjRoQjCk

He's got a journal and a long lost relative. Y'know what that means, it's time for some LORE! Now, I've never really watched Hey Arnold before, outside of a few episodes- JESUS CHRIST! WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN?! -But despite that, I did find myself enjoying this movie more than I thought I would. The movie is fairly stand alone, and for the most part can be enjoyed without prior knowledge of the show. The biggest strength of the film is the cast, who are genuinely likable, and the comedy which is genuinely funny. I also like how the movie does have a bit of a darker approach to it. It's not Samurai Jack dark or anything, but the villain is genuinely threatening and there are some actual onscreen deaths. It's not bloody or anything, but it's pretty intense for Nickelodeon. This really gives the movie a since of stakes and danger that I really enjoyed. It earns the PG rating. There are some problems though in terms of the story telling. There are some forced conflicts that seem like they're just there to be there. Also the movie is actually pretty confusing in terms of what is magic and what isn't to the point where I'm still not one hundred percent sure if the ancient prophecy was true or not. Maybe I missed something, but it seems kinda muddled. Also the villain, while threatening, isn't very interesting. He's just the cliche "want's money" villain, with nothing making him really stand out. But most of these problems aren't TOO glaring and I was able to enjoy the film regardless. And if I enjoyed it then I'm sure people who actually watched Hey! Arnold probably loved it. And I'm glad that the fans finally got a proper ending after all this time. Unfortunately, despite trending on twitter the movies actual ratings were not very good, getting a 1.7 million across three networks. That might sound okay, but it only barely beat out The Loud House episode that aired right before and that only aired on one network. Even Teen Titans Go! 200th episode, which airs on a much less popular network, was only a couple thousand views less than it. I'm torn, because on one hand I liked the movie and wished it did better, knowing how long the creator and fans were waiting for it. On the other hand, I'm hoping that this might help Nickelodeon get out of their "90's kids phase" that they seem to be in. i mean there's Hey! Arnold, Invader Zim, Rocko. All these announced revivals really makes it feels like there kinda having a mid life crisis. And while there nineties shows where great, I think they need to acknowledge that it wasn't there only good period. If there's something to take away from this, it's that as much as you hear people talk about how much better things were better in the nineties, these people are the minority. Most of the people who watch these channels are kids, and kids don't care about old nineties and two thousands shows they've never heard of. They care about what's on now. Also, while this news effects much more than just animation, Disney bought most of Fox's entertainments rights for fifty two billion dollars. Which is an amount of money that I cannot even begin the fathom. That's enough money to buy everybody in the world five large McDonald's Soda. And that includes like new born babies and stuff. (Alternatively, that might be enough for about three Schezwan Sauce packets.) In terms of animation, that means Disney now owns The Simpsons, Family Guy, Bob's Burgers, Archer, All the Ice Age and Rio movies, Allen Frickin' Gregory. I'm honestly a bit worried about this. Disney is become more and more powerful, and I feel it's only a matter of time till they monopolize entertainment. I'm also worried how this will effect other TV channels. For example, if Disney wanted could they pull all the Fox shows off of adult swim, or TBS? Only time will tell, as this deal will take about a year to really go into effect, but hopefully our new mouse overlord will be merciful. And to cap of f the year, Cartoon Network decided to celebrate Christmas by having an EIGHT DAY LONG TEEN TITANS GO! MARATHON! (with two episodes of Steven Universe sprinkled in.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc7hwNB4Cv4

Now I know what you're probably thinking. "Wait, if they just passed two hundred episodes, then doesn't that mean they only have enough episodes for about two days?' Well normally yes, but even though there's only enough episodes that last two days, through a miracle it was able to last for eight nights. And that's why we celebrate Hanukkah. For real though, I try to defend Cartoon Network, but this is just too far! We had JUST gotten a multi-day Teen Titans Go! marathon literally a month ago! While annoying, at least I understand that one. It was for there two hundredth episode. It's a big milestone that should be celebrated. But this is just Christmas! Cause who wants to watch Christmas specials on Christmas right?! And it's not just Teen Titans Go!, I'd be upset regardless of the show. As of the time of this being posted it's still going on. And it's not just CN. Nickelodeon had a last minute schedule change replacing several of there Christmas specials with Spongebob and Loud House reruns. Not all there specials though, and it was only for one day, so it's far less egregious. But it shows that when one channel falls they can all be effected. Ugh! Yeah, I hate to end on that note, but honestly I'm just happy that I didn't end on sexual harassment, which was a real concern at one point. 2017 was a wild ride for the animation community, and I'm glad you came along with me on this look back through it all. Now, it's time to rank the shows. Keep in mind though that this is just my personal opinion. Also I'm not very good at these list things, and my opinion tends to change all the time. This is more of just a "for fun" thing. Let's do this. 9. Bunsen is a Beast 8. Castlevania 7. Marvel's Spider-Man 6. Ben 10 5. Neo Yokio 4. Big Mouth 3. (TIE) OK KO: Let's Be Heroes and Ducktales 2017 2. Hanizuki: Full of Treasures 1. Samurai Jack Season Five Though that's just my opinions now. Who knows how they might change in the future. And keep in mind that there were a lot of shows that I didn't see or talk about that came out this year. Like these... (Apollo Gauntlet, Big Hero 6: the Series, Billy Dilly's Super Duper Subterranean Summer, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Danger and Egg, Dorthy and the Wizard of Oz, Hotel Transylvania: The Series, Legend Quest, Mysticons, Niko and the Sword of Light, Sex Swings, Strech Armstrong and the Flex Fighters, Tangled the Series, Tarantula, Tarzan and Jane, Tender Touches, The Jellies, The Magic School Bus Rides Again, Unikitty, Vampirina, Wacky Races 2017, Welcome to the Wayne, Wishfart) As for the grade, last year got a B-. Good, but could use improvement. This year...honestly I have to give a C. Just...average. Even not counting the shows I talked about this year there were several shows that I watched, intending to put into this review, that I ended up cutting cause I had nothing to really say on them. And honestly, even shows like Ducktales and OK KO, which are pretty high on my list have their problems. But I acknowledge that every year's quality won't be exactly even, so I'm not going to panic just yet. I still have high hopes for 2018. Now for the network that "won" this year. BTW since this is a new segment, I'll announce the winner for 2016 too. Last year I would say that Nickelodeon "won" the year for their success with The Loud House and for getting Spongebob out of it's seasonal rot. I've never seen the public opinion of a network to change so quickly. As for this year, I will say that the winner was Netflix, for really proving that their committing to animation. In addition to having the most shows I talked about this year (3/10) they also had other series that I didn't mention like Strech Armstrong Magic School Bus. Not to mention new seasons of Bojack, F is for Family, Voltron, Trollhunters and more. Sure not every show they had was great, but it shows initiative, and shows that they are a worthy contender in landscape of animation. So that was 2017 year in review. While not the best year, it did have it's some very memorable series and moments. And I can't wait to see what 2018 has in store for the world of animation. What did you think of any of the shows or stories that I talked about today? Are there any that I missed? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment down bellow. I'd love to hear them. Please fav, follow, and comment and have a great year. See ya in 2018! (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/2017-Year-in-REVIEW-Part-2-722602821 DA Link

#Ducktales #Neo Yokio #OK KO #review #ok ko let's be heroes

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thebookrat · 7 years ago

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I heard you guys: I don't highlight contemporary books enough. I tried to give you PLENTY of them this go 'round (and of course, some v. excellent fantasy), but there were so many book deals available, I might have to do a part 2 update mid-week! Check out all of the many, many excellent books to load up your ereaders with, all for super cheap, I don't think anything went over 2 bucks this time! -- and many are FREE FREE FREE!) So when you're done drinking your Cinco de Mayo margarita's and ready to do some drunken online self-indulgence, why not save a few $$ and load up on some deals instead? ;)

ALL BOOK COVERS ARE CLICKABLE AND TAKE YOU DIRECTLY TO THE DEAL!

I mean, COME ON.

Feyre survived Amarantha's clutches to return to the Spring Court--but at a steep cost. Though she now has the powers of the High Fae, her heart remains human, and it can't forget the terrible deeds she performed to save Tamlin's people. Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms--and she might be key to stopping it. But only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future--and the future of a world cleaved in two. With more than a million copies sold of her beloved Throne of Glass series, Sarah J. Maas's masterful storytelling brings this second book in her seductive and action-packed series to new heights.

Sixteen-year-old Beckan and her friends are the only fairies brave enough to stay in Ferrum when war breaks out. Now there is tension between the immortal fairies, the subterranean gnomes, and the mysterious tightropers who arrived to liberate the fairies. But when Beckan's clan is forced to venture into the gnome underworld to survive, they find themselves tentatively forming unlikely friendships and making sacrifices they couldn't have imagined. As danger mounts, Beckan finds herself caught between her loyalty to her friends, her desire for peace, and a love she never expected. This stunning, lyrical fantasy is a powerful exploration of what makes a family, what justifies a war, and what it means to truly love.

An epic fantasy filled with adventure, intrigue, and romance from Incarnate series author Jodi Meadows. This duology is perfect for fans of Graceling by Kristin Cashore, The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson, and Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo. When Princess Wilhelmina was a child, the Indigo Kingdom invaded her homeland. Ten years later, Wil and the other noble children who escaped are ready to fight back and reclaim Wil’s throne. To do so, Wil and her best friend, Melanie, infiltrate the Indigo Kingdom palace with hopes of gathering information that will help them succeed. But Wil has a secret—one that could change everything. Although magic has been illegal for a century, she knows her ability could help her save her kingdom. But magic creates wraith, and the deadly stuff is moving closer and destroying the land. And if the vigilante Black Knife catches her using magic, she may disappear like all the others. . . .

In Ink and Bone, bestselling author Rachel Caine introduced a world where knowledge is power, and power corrupts absolutely. Now she continues the story of those who dare to defy the Great Library—and rewrite history... Jess Brightwell has survived his introduction to the sinister, seductive world of the Library, but serving in its army is nothing like he envisioned. His life and the lives of those he cares for have been altered forever. Embarking on a mission to save one of their own, Jess and his band of allies make one wrong move and suddenly find themselves hunted by the Library’s deadly automata and forced to flee Alexandria, all the way to London. But Jess’s home isn’t safe anymore. The Welsh army is coming, London is burning, and soon Jess must choose between his friends, his family, and the Library, which is willing to sacrifice anything and anyone in the search for ultimate control...

Get it. Get this whole damn series. Trust me.

Held captive in the barbarian kingdom of Venda, Lia and Rafe have little chance of escape . . . and even less of being together. Desperate to save her life, Lia's erstwhile assassin, Kaden, has told the Vendan Komisar that she has a magical gift, and the Komisar's interest in Lia is greater than either Kaden or Lia foresaw. Meanwhile, the foundations of Lia's deeply-held beliefs are crumbling beneath her. Nothing is straightforward: there's Rafe, who lied to her, but has sacrificed his freedom to protect her; Kaden, who meant to assassinate her but has now saved her life; and the Vendans, whom she always believed to be barbarians but whom she now realizes are people who have been terribly brutalized by the kingdoms of Dalbreck and Morrighan. Wrestling with her upbringing, her gift, and her very sense of self, Lia will have to make powerful choices that affect her country, her people . . . and her own destiny.

Lia has survived Venda—but so has a great evil bent on the destruction of Morrighan. And only Lia can stop it. With war on the horizon, Lia has no choice but to assume her role as First Daughter, as soldier—as leader. While she struggles to reach Morrighan and warn them, she finds herself at cross-purposes with Rafe and suspicious of Kaden, who has hunted her down. In this heart-stopping conclusion to the Remnant Chronicles trilogy that started with The Kiss of Deception and The Heart of Betrayal, traitors must be rooted out, sacrifices must be made, and impossible odds must be overcome as the future of every kingdom hangs in the balance. New York Times-bestselling author Mary E. Pearson's combination of intrigue, suspense, romance, and action makes this a riveting YA page-turner for teens.

This morning, Kady thought breaking up with Ezra was the hardest thing she’d have to do. This afternoon, her planet was invaded. The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than a speck at the edge of the universe. Now with enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to evacuate with a hostile warship in hot pursuit. But their problems are just getting started. A plague has broken out and is mutating with terrifying results; the fleet’s AI may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on. As Kady hacks into a web of data to find the truth, it’s clear the only person who can help her is the ex-boyfriend she swore she’d never speak to again. Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, maps, files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more—Illuminae is the first book in a heart-stopping trilogy about lives interrupted, the price of truth, and the courage of everyday heroes.

Evaline Stoker and Mina Holmes never meant to get into the family business. But when you're the sister of Bram and the niece of Sherlock, vampire hunting and mystery solving are in your blood. And when two society girls go missing, there's no one more qualified to investigate. Now fierce Evaline and logical Mina must resolve their rivalry, navigate the advances of not just one but three mysterious gentlemen, and solve murder with only one clue: a strange Egyptian scarab. The stakes are high. If Stoker and Holmes don't unravel why the belles of London society are in such danger, they'll become the next victims.

For the free, my darlings. For the FREE.

WINNER of the NATIONAL READERS CHOICE AWARD for best YA of 2015 Alexis Wyndham is the other type of Queen B—the Queen B*tch. After years of being the subject of ridicule, she revels in her ability to make the in-crowd cower via the exposés on her blog, The Eastline Spy. Now that she's carved out her place in the high school hierarchy, she uses her position to help the unpopular kids walking the hallways. Saving a freshman from bullies? Check. Swapping insults with the head cheerleader? Check. Falling for the star quarterback? So not a part of her plan. But when Brett offers to help her solve the mystery of who’s posting X-rated videos from the girls’ locker room, she’ll have to swallow her pride and learn to see past the high school stereotypes she’s never questioned—until now.

Rachel can't believe she has to give up her Saturdays to scrubbing other people's toilets. So. Gross. But she kinda, sorta stole $287.22 from her college fund that she's got to pay back ASAP or her mom will ground her for life. Which is even worse than working for her mother's new cleaning business. Maybe. After all, becoming a maid is definitely not going to help her already loserish reputation. But Rachel picks up more than smelly socks on the job. As maid to some of the most popular kids in school, Rachel suddenly has all the dirt on the 8th grade in-crowd. Her formerly boring diary is now filled with juicy secrets. And when her crush offers to pay her to spy on his girlfriend, Rachel has to decide if she's willing to get her hands dirty...

Did you snag the deal for book 2 a couple weeks back? Now you can grab book 1 for FREE!

In A THRONE FOR SISTERS (Book one), Sophia, 17, and her younger sister Kate, 15, are desperate to leave their horrific orphanage. Orphans, unwanted and unloved, they nonetheless dream of coming of age elsewhere, of finding a better life, even if that means living on the streets of the brutal city of Ashton. Sophia and Kate, also best friends, have each other’s backs—and yet they want different things from life. Sophia, a romantic, more elegant, dreams of entering court and finding a noble to fall in love with. Kate, a fighter, dreams of mastering the sword, of battling dragons, and becoming a warrior. They are both united, though, by their secret, paranormal power to read other’s minds, their only saving grace in a world that seems bent to destroy them. As they each embark on a quest and adventure their own ways, they struggle to survive. Faced with choices neither can imagine, their choices may propel them to the highest power—or plunge them to the lowest depths. A THRONE FOR SISTERS is the first book in a dazzling new fantasy series rife with love, heartbreak, tragedy, action, magic, sorcery, fate and heart-pounding suspense. A page turner, it is filled with characters that will make you fall in love, and a world you will never forget.

Also gloriously FREE!

Zachary Degaud was twenty three when he died. The problem was, he didn't stay that way. Present day, he's just another vampire with another unremarkable story. That is, until he manages to provoke a two thousand year old witch named Katrin, who wants to make him pay in the most horrible way imagined. Along with his brother Sam, newly made vampire Liz and their only witch ally, Gabby, his only chance for survival is to summon the ancient and unpredictable vampire known as the Witch Hunter. Zac is just looking for a way out of his psychopathic witch problems, but instead will find himself falling head first into a blood feud that has stretched thousands of years. Aya has been asleep for the past 150 years, until she was awoken by a haunting call. The witch she has been hunting for thousands of years, Katrin, has resurfaced and marked a young, annoyingly arrogant vampire by the name of Zachary Degaud. Unless she does something, he will die a slow and painful death. He has given her an opportunity to end the witch, but does she want to help him or leave him to his fate? Zac will get under her skin like no one else has and she just might find herself making the ultimate sacrifice before he is gone forever. They will both have to choose sides and look deep within themselves before the end. But, what Zac learns about himself, will surprise him most of all.

This synopsis needs to be cut down, my god, but again: IT. FREE.

I was born to die... But to defy fate is to control your own destiny. Little did I know that I was entering a world of ritual and magic and that my blood needed to be spilled so the witches’ legacy could be complete. Vampires. Witches. Werewolves. Supernatural Creatures. Dramatic Revelations. A Ritual Sacrifice. Ancient Artifacts. A Cold-hearted Serial Killer. Spilled Blood. Secrets. A Hidden Heritage. A Love So Deep. Supernatural Bloodlust. A Dangerous Curse. An Uneasy Alliance With A Dangerous Vampire. Legends of vampires and shape-shifters have been around for centuries, so Taylor Sparks isn’t too worried when the rumors start to fly. When Taylor learns secrets that are beyond terrifying, they threaten to destroy her entire world. She is born to die... But to defy fate is to control your own destiny. She warns her crush to leave. But how do you forget someone who is aligned with your soul? They fight against the witches, the vampires, and the werewolves. They know the consequences. They know the risk. But they don't care. Nothing will get in the way of these two star-crossed lovers. Taylor finds out she’s a KEY player in a dangerous game created 1,000 years ago that will give the witches and werewolves the upper hand against the vampires. Blood will be spilled and secrets will be revealed in this action-packed thrill ride and paranormal romance. Will Taylor dive into a paranormal world she knows nothing about to be with the one her heart can’t live without? Or will her life spiral out of control when she learns her blood is needed, just the serum necessary to lift an ancient curse from a group of supernatural beings and give the witches back their magic? Werewolves will serve as her guardians and protect her until the first full moon of the new year, the night of her sacrifice… Will she accept her destiny? Or will she refuse to let evil swallow her up?

For fans of Hex Hall, The Magicians, Practical Magic, and Food Wars! Anise Wise loves three things: baking, potion making, and reading her spellbooks in blissful silence. She might not be the most powerful witch, but enchantment is a rare skill, and her ability to bake with magic is even rarer. Too bad no one wants witchcraft on their campus. Anise’s dream of attending pastry school crumbles with rejection letter after rejection letter. Desperate to escape her dead-end future, Anise contacts the long-lost relative she’s not supposed to know about. Great Aunt Agatha owns the only magic bakery in the US, and she suddenly needs a new apprentice. Anise is so excited she books it to New Mexico without thinking to ask what happened to the last girl. The Spellwork Syndicate rules the local witches in Taos, but as “accidents” turn into full-out attacks on Anise’s life, their promises to keep her safe are less and less reassuring. Her cranky bodyguard is doing his best, but it’s hard to fight back when she has no idea who’s the enemy. Or why she became their target. If Anise can’t find and stop whoever wants her dead, she’ll be more toasted than a crème brûlée. Who knew baking cakes could be so life or death?

This one's kicking around on my shelves! I did a First Impressions of it awhile back and really liked it, and have been meaning to go back ever since.

Thoughtfully imaginative and action-packed, Steeplejack is New York Times bestselling A. J. Hartley's YA debut set in a 19th-century South African fantasy world “A richly realized world, an intensely likable character, and a mystery to die for." — Cory Doctorow, New York Times-bestselling author Seventeen-year-old Anglet Sutonga lives and works as a steeplejack in Bar-Selehm, a sprawling city known for its great towers, spires, and smokestacks – and even greater social disparities across race and class. Ang’s world is turned upside-down when her new apprentice Berrit is murdered the same night that the city’s landmark jewel is stolen. Her search for answers behind his death exposes unrest in the streets and powerful enemies. But she also finds help from unexpected friends: a kindhearted savannah herder, a politician’s haughty sister, and a savvy newspaper girl. As troubles mount in Bar-Selehm, Ang must discover the truth behind both murder and theft soon – or else watch the city descend into chaos. YALSA Best Fiction for Young Adults Selection Kirkus Reviews Best Teen Book Booklist Top Ten YA in Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Also kicking around on my shelves somewhere!

Just about everyone knows a family like the Radleys. Many of us grew up next door to one. They are a modern family, averagely content, averagely dysfunctional, living in a staid and quiet suburban English town. Peter is an overworked doctor whose wife, Helen, has become increasingly remote and uncommunicative. Rowan, their teenage son, is being bullied at school, and their anemic daughter, Clara, has recently become a vegan. They are typical, that is, save for one devastating exception: Peter and Helen are vampires and have—for seventeen years—been abstaining by choice from a life of chasing blood in the hope that their children could live normal lives. One night, Clara finds herself driven to commit a shocking—and disturbingly satisfying—act of violence, and her parents are forced to explain their history of shadows and lies. A police investigation is launched that uncovers a richness of vampire history heretofore unknown to the general public. And when the malevolent and alluring Uncle Will, a practicing vampire, arrives to throw the police off Clara’s trail, he winds up throwing the whole house into temptation and turmoil and unleashing a host of dark secrets that threaten the Radleys’ marriage. The Radleys is a moving, thrilling, and radiant domestic novel that explores with daring the lengths a parent will go to protect a child, what it costs you to deny your identity, the undeniable appeal of sin, and the everlasting, iridescent bonds of family love. Read it and ask what we grow into when we grow up, and what we gain—and lose—when we deny our appetites.

Fairy tales are life.

From wicked queens, beautiful princesses, elves, monsters, and goblins to giants, glass slippers, poisoned apples, magic keys, and mirrors, the characters and images of fairy tales have cast a spell over readers and audiences, both adults and children, for centuries. These fantastic stories have travelled across cultural borders, and been passed on from generation to generation, ever-changing, renewed with each re-telling. Few forms of literature have greater power to enchant us and rekindle our imagination than a fairy tale. But what is a fairy tale? Where do they come from and what do they mean? What do they try and communicate to us about morality, sexuality, and society? The range of fairy tales stretches across great distances and time; their history is entangled with folklore and myth, and their inspiration draws on ideas about nature and the supernatural, imagination and fantasy, psychoanalysis, and feminism. Marina Warner has loved fairy tales over a long writing life, and she explores here a multitude of tales through the ages, their different manifestations on the page, the stage, and the screen. From the phenomenal rise of Victorian and Edwardian literature to contemporary children's stories, Warner unfolds a glittering array of examples, from classics such as Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, and The Sleeping Beauty, the Grimm Brothers' Hansel and Gretel, and Hans Andersen's The Little Mermaid, to modern-day realizations including Walt Disney's Snow White and gothic interpretations such as Pan's Labyrinth. In ten succinct chapters, Marina Warner digs into a rich hoard of fairy tales in their brilliant and fantastical variations, in order to define a genre and evaluate a literary form that keeps shifting through time and history. Her book makes a persuasive case for fairy tale as a crucial repository of human understanding and culture.

A classic.

This Newbery Honor-winning, hilarious Floridian adventure involves new kids, bullies, alligators, eco-warriors, pancakes, pint-sized owls, and more. A New York Times bestseller! Everybody loves Mother Paula’s pancakes. Everybody, that is, except the colony of cute but endangered owls that live on the building site of the new restaurant. Can the awkward new kid and his feral friend prank the pancake people out of town? Or is the owls’ fate cemented in pancake batter?

Three months after returning Magician Emery Thane’s heart to his body, Ceony Twill is well on her way to becoming a Folder. Unfortunately, not all of Ceony’s thoughts have been focused on paper magic. Though she was promised romance by a fortuity box, Ceony still hasn’t broken the teacher-student barrier with Emery, despite their growing closeness. When a magician with a penchant for revenge believes that Ceony possesses a secret, he vows to discover it…even if it tears apart the very fabric of their magical world. After a series of attacks target Ceony and catch those she holds most dear in the crossfire, Ceony knows she must find the true limits of her powers…and keep her knowledge from falling into wayward hands. The delightful sequel to Charlie N. Holmberg’s The Paper Magician, The Glass Magician will charm readers young and old alike.

In the explosive third volume of The Hundredth Queen Series, the queen of fire faces off against a demon of ice. Despite the odds, Kalinda has survived it all: Marriage to a tyrant. Tournaments to the death. The forbidden power to rule fire. The icy touch of a demon. That same demon now disguises itself as Rajah Tarek, Kalinda’s late husband and a man who has never stopped haunting her. Upon taking control of the palace and the army, the demon brands Kalinda and her companions as traitors to the empire. They flee across the sea, seeking haven in the Southern Isles. In Lestari, Kalinda’s powers are not condemned, as they are in her land. Now free to use them to protect those she loves, Kalinda soon realizes that the demon has tainted her with a cold poison, rendering her fire uncontrollable. But the lack of control may be just what she needs to send the demon back to the darkest depths of the Void. To take back the empire, Kalinda will ally with those she distrusts—and risk losing those most loyal to her—to defeat the demon and bring peace to a divided nation.

From the bestselling author of Catching Jordan comes a new teen romance sure to appeal to fans of Sarah Dessen. SOME RULES WERE MEANT TO BE BROKEN. Kate has always been the good girl. Too good, according to some people at school—although they have no idea the guilty secret she carries. But this summer, everything is different... This summer she's a counselor at Cumberland Creek summer camp, and she wants to put the past behind her. This summer Matt is back as a counselor too. He's the first guy she ever kissed, and he's gone from geeky songwriter who loved The Hardy Boys to a buff lifeguard who loves to flirt...with her. Kate used to think the world was black and white, right and wrong. Turns out, life isn't that easy...

For twelve-year-old Emily, the best thing about moving to San Francisco is that it's the home city of her literary idol: Garrison Griswold, book publisher and creator of the online sensation Book Scavenger (a game where books are hidden in cities all over the country and clues to find them are revealed through puzzles). Upon her arrival, however, Emily learns that Griswold has been attacked and is now in a coma, and no one knows anything about the epic new game he had been poised to launch. Then Emily and her new friend James discover an odd book, which they come to believe is from Griswold himself, and might contain the only copy of his mysterious new game. Racing against time, Emily and James rush from clue to clue, desperate to figure out the secret at the heart of Griswold's new game—before those who attacked Griswold come after them too.

Sang Sorenson’s father abandoned her and her sister, leaving them to fend for themselves for months. He’s returned, and finds Sang is missing. He demands she return. Right now. Will he call the police if she doesn’t? Her Academy team doesn’t want to risk losing her ghost status and she doesn’t want to put them in danger, so she reluctantly returns home, but is comforted that she will still be monitored by them. But the second she opens the door, she discovers her father has made changes that will affect her entire future. His decisions will make them a normal family. Normal is no longer what Sang wants. It would kill her Academy career before it ever started. Not to mention it would end the special, new, and still-fragile relationships with the guys. Sang struggles with her family, her identity, and where she truly belongs. Now that the entire team knows about their romantic relationships with her, tensions are mounting, tearing the team apart from the inside. Only, Dr. Green isn't going to lie down and roll over by playing by the rules. Not anymore. Not while Sang is at risk. His heart can’t take leaving her in that house one more minute. He needs her. They all do.

Twins Crystal and Amber have the same goal: to be the first in their family to graduate high school and make something of their lives. When one gets pregnant during their junior year, they promise to raise the baby together. It’s not easy, but between their after-school jobs, they’re scraping by. Crystal’s grades catch the attention of the new guidance counselor, who tells her about a college that offers a degree in automotive restoration, perfect for the car buff she is. When she secretly applies—and gets in—new opportunities threaten their once-certain plans, and Crystal must make a choice: follow her dreams or stay behind and honor the promise she made to her sister.

From the New York Times bestselling author of Reconstructing Amelia comes a fast-paced teen series where one girl learns that in a world of intrigue, betrayal, and deeply buried secrets, it is vital to trust your instincts. It all starts with a text: Please, Wylie, I need your help. Wylie hasn’t heard from Cassie in over a week, not since their last fight. But that doesn’t matter. Cassie’s in trouble, so Wylie decides to do what she has done so many times before: save her best friend from herself. This time it’s different, though. Instead of telling Wylie where she is, Cassie sends cryptic clues. And instead of having Wylie come by herself, Jasper shows up saying Cassie sent him to help. Trusting the guy who sent Cassie off the rails doesn’t feel right, but Wylie has no choice but to ignore her gut instinct and go with him. But figuring out where Cassie is goes from difficult to dangerous, fast. As Wylie and Jasper head farther and farther north into the dense woods of Maine, Wylie struggles to control her growing sense that something is really wrong. What isn’t Cassie telling them? And could finding her be only the beginning? In this breakneck tale, New York Times bestselling author Kimberly McCreight brilliantly chronicles a fateful journey that begins with a single decision—and ends up changing everything.

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