#uuuuuuuuuuuuugh i hate him

[toastedsmoreo]

I gotta be less terminally online bc every time I think about jjk’s ending I get annoyed

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s2e10

that is a second year spell i read ahead WAAAAHHHHHH extremely sad scene to me

lots of comparisons to be drawn between julia and alice and i'm not sure i make them enough. pursuit of knowledge above all else.

"not my favorite quentin" "i didn't know that you liked any of the quentins" HORRIBLE !!!!!! GUTTING !!!!!!

ugh so much stuff that makes me sad in this episode. library penny :-(

nate silver being an earth magician is suuuuuuuch a 2016/2017 type thing to include oh my god

first of all baked sale aw. second of all josh you are a delight and when you're not on screen i miss you.

i would not want to be the kind of high that quentin gets. i know it's a plot device but also i would like to just be lie on the floor of the cottage high.

uuuuuuuuuuuuugh eliot do not marry that dilf your boyfriend is having a meltdown deal with that

how do people feel about the librarians? because it's the magicians i guess it can't just be straightforward but like net positive or net negative? me personally i feel mostly negatively. pedantic, limp, cowardly!

fen should be allowed to beat up eliot. and margo. possibly quentin, i think we could come up for a justification for her to beat up quentin.

websites being cities made of pixels... fen girl of my dreams

julia's fuckass rotary landline... you aren't using that phone girl !!!!!

i understand todd. i could make todd happy. i would not say go away todd.

if there was a magicians spinoff it would have to be grimdark like all spinoffs and reboots, which is difficult to do considering the magicians is already a little bit grimdark, but if they made one i would obviously want it to be the 23rd timeline.

ugh i barely understand women !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HARRIET TIME !!!!!!!

marlee matlin is such a fucking get we don't talk about that enough

i love you eliot and margo but as always go fu fighters you deserve to operate your own nation you SHOULD chop off my best friends' heads

"a buttload?" "that'll do" i do love them honestly

the library kill switch is a FUCKING CRAZY little idea

poison room mention !!!!!!!!!!!!

"i certainly hope it would be weird" :'-)

good god do i hate the fairies i fucking hate the fairies so goddamn bad

so much happens to quentin coldwater despite him not doing nearly as much

TESLA FLEXION ALICE KIND OF THE PERFORMANCE OF ALL TIME !!!!!!!!!!!

tesla flexion quentin honorable mention !!!!!!!!!

[6blackfilin9]

Just decided to show that I'm still alive over here

So guess it's LongShitpost Time

A very long post about The Batman's (2004) Penguin

And well, I've been thinking about making it for about a year, so.. here we are, watching me behaving like an easily surprised kid babbling about Oswald and how much I admire him and why

Actually nothin' important or highly moral here. If you still wanna read then just forget it's talk about a character from a kids show, I take this sh🐧t seriously and barely speak English

I like to take a lot of screenshots but can't use here all of them uuUUuUuuUUUUUGH

It's all about the 1st episode of 2nd season of The Batman (mostly, I also mention other my two fav episodes with Oswald)

I like it so much cuz this all just starts with "cat-mouse play" kind of cooperation which leads to "well guess you two will be chillin' in jail in pure mammalian harmony" and ends up with "oh no no no, this is your thievish girl, so you take her back"

"— You two pointy-ears make such a cute couple: his and hers."

"— Hm, made for each other."

I just crack up at this plot line so much

But well, being more serious, this episode unveils some of Oswald's personality traits quite vividly.

Going back to the first episode when he appeared, from the first sight it looked like the most of the time he acts like a mindlessly arrogant jerk who has no clue about what he’s doing, as most of kid-show villains, and tends to lose his temper fast , but if you look closer you’ll see that huge amount of his conduct lines are just a part of the games he plays

Like, he came to the Bruce's party just to take the damn list of guests, that’s the goal

But because of his behavior in public's eyes he wasn't the "strange quiet guy who's been looking around for all the time, than took the list of rich guests from butler and than left while there are robberies of rich people occurring in the city". He was "arrogant snobbish freak who thinks he's some sort of royalty (despite his family lost its place at the top of Gotham's society) so he acts around them as if they were peasants", so, for everyone it looks like the only thing he came for was attention, plus, influenced by negative emotions, people didn't notice such a potty movements as putting some paper in his jacket. I mean none even managed to notice that he stole the motherf🐧cking tray

(Well, for sure Oswald's quite snobbish about his family and it's "blue blood", can’t deny that, though he doesn’t behave that defiantly all the time and the only time when he completely loses it, cracks and explodes about this was when he became enraged hearing Alfred's words whom he took hostage in Bruce's house. That was a very bad day for him)

And come on, Oswald had patience and intelligence to figure out how to teach different predatory birds like ravens and owls, who actually tend to be wayward and even agressive time to time, to steal damn stuff from houses and how to make those f🐧cking badass high-tech umbrellas himself

So, cool man

If that episode showed his enormous arrogance, devotion to his family, resourcefulness, intelligence and hidden potential, this one shows how cunning, selfish, cold, ruthless and at some point insightful he can be

Back to the episode, it literally opens with the start of the strategy competition between Oswald and Selina

First they meet they start with a direct verbal flight for the Cat statue, which Oswald wins. So Selina, willing to get what she wants, desides to get down on a more manipulative subtle level playing love interest

So, of course Oswald gets stunned at first, I guess not every girl treats him this way every day, but he effectively uses this state to figure out his following plan and actions, and immediately starts behaving as a school boy in love.

So the man literally changed his tactics in a couple of seconds and figured out the new plan with the new “puppet” involved. Selina didn’t even notice anything thinking that she managed to hook him up easily so she now can manipulate him as she wants.

(guess Bruce was right, these two are worth each other: both prideful as heck)

So later their game enters the new fervent phase: they both play love interest in front of each other, and Oswald nailes his role just perfectly, making Selina even more convinced of his naivety so she reduces her alertness completely.

But guess he enjoyed this at some point. Like, Selina is a charming beautiful woman able to maintain a pleasant conversation with couple of dry sarcastic notes, so, I think this shade of sincerity helped him to play his part

And well, for quite huge amount of time Oswald makes that devil face with crooked grin which makes him look like a f🐧cking Satan, or just beings grumpy hardened journalist who had seen some shit which makes him look like he's about to have a severe breakdown, but here as he is around Selina in the first part of the episode he's completely calm like a damn fat cat, serious, focused and straight-faced, that's just gorgeous

He cracks up a bit ahead of time just once, when she manages to get the Bird statue

But as it goes to the showdown he doesn’t show even a hint of genuine sympathy or regret, he’s just like “well get reked Selina” and takes English leave

Well, I know it’s a kids show, Bruce saves the day and stuff, but Oz did literally put the bomb in the f🐧cking handcuffs so in case one of the two tries to put them off before the police arrive they actually f🐧cking die. I mean, that's kinda rough. But at the other hand it’s quite nobly but shortsighted of him to leave his enemies alive having a chance to interfere him later

And well, maybe Oswald isn’t good at etiquette, but he have never beaten Selina or any other lady if it came to close fight, while Batman did. Ozzie is a gentleman, shame on ya Bruce

And just to be said, the motherf🐧ucker didn’t even blink when the f🐧king half of his god damn umbrella was cut off right in front of his f🐧cking face. And oh my god, how f🐧cking firm Oswald's grip is that the hella heavy umbrella all made of f🐧cking metal didn't even swayed from the impact in the most stout place. Badass.

And just for a second, Oswald managed to dig to the bottom of that legend about the Bird and Cat statues and started putting the plan into action only after he had found all the necessary information about it (which he had to translate himself from ancient Egyptian), so that the first time he used it, it didn't turn out that he missed something and summoned some ancient shit so now the whole world is in danger (as it happens with villains in movies sometimes).

(The saddest part is that the only single thing that prevented the shit from happening was immense amount of luck. mean Bruce has all kinds of gadgets for literally any situation and knows literally everything just in case. Like, it was very useful of Bruce to study ancient Egyptian just in case someone decides to use egyptian artifacts for evil stuff. And they were so f🐧king lucky the the birds weren’t hungry and didn’t try to peck their faces off while they were climbing the god damn lighthouse which is already hella dangerous even without the maniac birds trying to knock you down)

Well, what do we have so far

Even if Oswald does have some temper issues, he's capable of making some keen psychological tricks, making strategies and keep his head above water, the only thing that actually hampers him is his own pride (like in the episode with Team Penguin. He does have some leadership qualities but he turns from leader into boss quite quickly thinking of himself only)

And, importantly, he is being at some level realistic and objective realizing that none actually takes him seriously.

He understands that for most of the people he’s just a deformed and depraved man with a funny voice, who’s also a descendant of the aristocratic family which ran out of money and lost former authority.

And he uses it for his own good. He couldn't if he didn't, otherwise he'd choose way less twisted ways of behavior

He knew what would the people at the party see in him, so he could predict what behavior would cause the result he needed.

He understood Selina wouldn’t take him as a serious opponent, seeing him as a lonely slow-witted man or whatever, being sure that she can hook him as any other in such an unpretentious way she thought she would be able to make him do all the work instead of her. His awareness made her plans all exposed and clear

But all this negligence combined with his pride does hurt him though, no doubt. There’s a whole episode about it, when he occupied Bruce’s house.

He has his own reasons to envy and hate Bruce, by the way. They both are from rich families, both intelligent, strong and talented, but Bruce is more young and handsome, plus, his family business remained successful. At this point he is much more luckier than Oswald

I mean even if it gets to falling Bruse safely falls on tent and Oswald falls on the dirty ground through hell, fire and high boiling water (I don't give a shit that it had been made for the comedy matters)

Basically, the only thing Oswald is doing is trying to restore not only the family’s honor, but also his own with help of money and growth of his authority. Maybe even to show others and himself that he’s something more than just a garbage. That he's something more than he seems to be at the first sight

But as far as I can see Oswald has never been that type of poor kid with low self esteem crying in a shower with the lights off and who then starts to hide behind the wall of arrogance as he grows up. I mean right in this episode he says that his mother had always told him that he was a handsome one, so I think his parents loved him, maybe even spoiled at some point, and gave him confidence and warmth he needed.

Though well, to be fair, children are cruel, and of course they would react to the child who lookes like a victim of a crazy geneticist's experiment in a very specific way. Some would avoid him no matter what it takes, for sure some would get used to him and communicate normally, but some would mock and bully him severely. So of course he would start to protect himself

But sadly he went in wrong direction, since his confidence became arrogance and his ways became much more twisted and radical

Even as an adult he’ve chosen a really slippery slope, though. He could've chosen a different path, but (as I guess) he couldn't overcome his sense of injustice and his resentment towards people around him, who actually neglected and loathed him. So he just sank in his negative experience and sharpened himself as the lone survivalist, which made him egotistical to the point when he doesn't care about the others and can actually stumble in some situations, being sure he can't be wrong

His actions can't be justified, but they can be explained. Oswald is really very understandable character

So

There is actually no moral of the post

Just me coming to conclusion that The Batman's Oswald appears to be quite deep in the first seasons

Yes, I just wasted about 5 minutes of your life, and you can't take those back

But I can leave you with a question besides frustration

Why in the bloody hell are they holding each other?!

I mean come on

Few hours ago they revealed mutual betrayal, he almost killed her, dropped her on the froor so she couldn't run away with the thing he needed, and now they hold each other flying away on a jet-umbrella

And don’t f🐧cking tell me they do this because of the fear that if one of them falls the other will too

No f🐧cking way

Just imagine flying on the f🐧cking jet-umbrella, you will cling to it so tightly that one day you will take it into your grave with yourself because you will not be able to unclench your f🐧cking fingers after a single flight, but instead of holding the motherf🐧cking umbrella they hold each other

So is it a weird joke or a very thick hint?

Who knows

[unbanned-rescue-cat]

send me a fandom: 5D'S and Arc-V?

Arc-V first!the first character i ever fell in love with:

YUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Whaaaaaaa?! In Arc-V?!? I guess Leo Akaba. He shows off as some great mastermind and end boss material, but he basically got slapped aside and is just a doting father who can’t get over his daughter’s death but he is STILL an idiot soooooo....

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Mieru and Yuuya. They would have been SO CUTE together. =_= Too bad, so sad...

my ultimate favorite character™:

YUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

prettiest character:

Ugh. UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

my most hated character:

Crow Hogan. .._.

Seriously. NO ONE PLAYS YOUR DECK ANYMORE GADDAMMIT KONAMI LET HIM REST IN PEACE, YUZU DIDN’T EVEN GET MORE CARDS OUTSIDE OF THE SYNCHRO DIMENSION ARC DAMN YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

my OTP:

Yuzu with everyone. You can’t make me choose. She works well with everyone in every level. Yuuya and Yuzu, check. Yuuya and Yuuboys and Yuzu, check. Sora and Yuzu, check. Gogenzaka and Yuzu, check.  Asuka and Yuzu, check. Bracelet Girls and Yuzu? Check. Edo and Yuzu? (even though they haven’t met?) CHECK. 

Just... let’s just shout her name again.

YUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

OH WAIT! MASUMI AND YUZU! THAT’S RIGHT! I DID HAVE A PAIRING! (Before they got separated....)

my NOTP:Shun and Yuzu. Cuz that’s like, you’re basically dating your sister. Even if not blood related, even if they don’t look EXACTLY alike (to us), just no dude. NO. Same thing goes for Reiji and Yuzu. THEY ARE TECHNICALLY BROTHER / SISTER!

favorite episode:

THE ONE EPISODE YUZU BACKFLIPPED AWAY FROM YURI HOLY SHIT THAT EP IS LIT! THE CROWD WANTED MORE OF THAT! The very idea that Yuzu is that athletic goes to show HOW MUCH KONAMI FUCKED US OVER DX The POTENTIAL in future episodes! She was basically YUUMA for crying out loud! 

Also, the Action Duels with Masumi and Yuzu. 

saddest death:

Dennis Macfield. I liked him. (Well, he got revived, but DON’T CHEAPEN HIS DEATH!) 

favorite season:

Season 2? Where we got Awakened Yuuya beating three Obelisk Force Soldiers? 

least favorite season:*SIGH*Synchro arc. Cuz most of the cast are trapped in their rooms. 

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:

Sawatari. Ugh. He worked better as an antagonist. 

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:

Sora. 

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:

YUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:

Bracelet Girls and Yuzu. Basically self-pleasing. You know I’m right. 

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:

Yuuya and Gogenzaka. Mismatched pairing. Shhh. 

[vgckwb]

Danganronpa: Away Chapter 4: Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me (Part 3)

I was rudely awoken to the sound of someone knocking at my door. I checked the clock. “What kind of monster wakes up at 5 am?” I got up half asleep and didn’t bother putting my clothes on, just wearing a tank top and pajama shorts. I answered the door. “Jay?”

“Hey, so I know it’s a bit early…” Jay began.

“No foolin’” I responded.

“BUT I am instructing the first class of the day” Jay finished. “And, well, you know things could get intense.”

“Uh huh” I nodded.

“So, I was wondering if you could maybe make something for us to eat right afterwards,” Jay asked.

I stared at him. “Sure,” I said. I attempted to close the door.

“Waitwaitwait!” Jay said. “I meant, can you do it now?”

“Now?” I replied.

“In. Tense” Jay emphasized.

I looked at Jay. After seeing and hearing some of the stuff Jay has done, I guess it makes sense. “Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh!”

“Is that a ‘yes’?” Jay asked.

“Yeah” I said. “Let’s go.” I started walking out.

Jay stared at me. “Um, aren’t you going to change?”

“Nah!” I said. “I know what I’m doing.”

Jay shrugged. “Well, you’re the cooking expert here.” He began following me. We made our way down to the kitchen. “So, what are we making?”

“Stew,” I said dryly.

“Stew?” Jay asked.

“Yeah” I said. “If this is going to be for later, it has to be able to be stored well. If it’s for everyone, there needs to be a lot of it. And you insist we need it now, so it has to be something I can make when I’m half asleep. So stew.”

Jay smiled. “I getcha.” As I began making the stew, he paused for a moment. “You must really hate mornings.”

“Honestly, I don’t know how anyone likes mornings” I replied.

Jay chuckled. “Well, maybe you’ll come around eventually. How ‘bout I make you some coffee?”

“I don’t like coffee,” I answered.

Jay looked at me, shocked. “Well THERE’S your problem. You’ve got nothing satisfying to help get you up.”

“I don’t need another lecture about how good coffee is” I said annoyed, continuing preparations.

“Don’t worry. I understand liking and not liking things” Jay said. “But maybe once you’re in a serious relationship with someone, you might like waking up to them.” He looked at me again. “Then again, you seem like the type of person to sleepily tap the snooze button and grasp your partner and fall deeper into sleep.”

For whatever reason, be it Piece’s constant bothering, the little bits from everyone else, or the fact that she called me her assistant and tousled my hair last night, my mind drifted to holding onto Cassy and delving into a deeper sleep. “Uhhhhhhhhh…” I stopped prepping.

Jay looked at me. “Woah. You alright? You’re looking so red I almost think you’re allergic to yourself at this point.”

I shook myself out of it. “Sorry. I’m fine. Just a little loose thought…”

Jay picked up on that. “Oh? Were you thinking about someone in particular?”

“Do you want me to finish this, or do you want to talk about my drowsy thoughts?” I retorted.

“Sorry. Sorry. Keep cooking” Jay said. He remained quiet for most of the rest of the time I was cooking. He helped out some, but decided to leave most of it for me. He then said “I wish Troy was here to attend the class.”

I looked at him and said “I wish everyone was.”

“Well, yeah…” Jay said, embarrassed. “But Troy and I… we had something special… Platonically, of course.”

I slightly smiled. “Yeah. Seeing as he mentioned he had a girlfriend.”

“Right,” Jay said. He sighed. “You know, on the night he died, he was trying to set me up with one of her friends.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I told him none of them were my type,” Jay said. “But it was nice.”

“I can imagine” I said. I finished making the stew for everyone. “OK. It’s done.”

“Great” Jay said

“Now, if I were to fall asleep now, could I trust you to take me back to my room?”

“Ummm, yeah?” Jay said, confused.

“Good,” I said. I passed out. Jay managed to catch me before I fell on the floor, but that was the last thing I remember.

The next thing I know, I woke up to Monokuma’s morning announcement. I say “woke” but in reality, I was still half asleep. Still, I don’t want that bear coming into my room and trying to wake me with whatever he thinks is funny. So I got ready, got dressed, and headed out.

When I went down to the dining area, Jay stopped me before I could get to the kitchen to make myself something. “Hey,” he said. “Uh, I already made you something.”

“Really?” I said, confused and waking up a little more. “Thanks?”

“Yeah, I don’t expect it to be great,” Jay said. “But it is a thank you for helping me out this morning.”

“Oh. Thank you” I said. Jay guided me to my seat where I was greeted by a stack of blueberry pancakes. “These look actually pretty good.”

“Heh,” Jay said. “Well, when you have what I have, it’s easy.”

I snorted. “And what would that be?” I asked.

“Well, we’re going to learn about it in today’s class,” Jay said.

“Ugh” Tammy said. “Don’t remind me. I’ve always hated gym.”

“Same,” Cassy said.

“Why’s that?” Pierce asked.

“Because” Cassy answered in a dignified fashion. “In gym they want you to go fast. They put limits on you and ask you to do well within those limits. While I try to methodically figure out things, and take as much time as I need, everything is said and done.”

“I see…” Jay said. “Well, there’s no need to worry about that for my class.”

“I just don’t like exercising,” Tammy said.

“Well, there’s not much to be done about that,” Jay said.

I took a bite out of the blueberry pancakes, a la Jay. “This is really good.”

“Aw, you’re too kind,” Jay said.

“No for real,” I said. “Whoever you end up with is going to be lucky to have someone like you cooking.” Jay slightly blushed. We all continued to eat our breakfasts. After I finished, I placed my plates in the kitchen only to see it was an absolute mess. I walk back out. “Ummmmmmm…”

“Yeah” said Jay. “I know. It took awhile to get the pancake stuff just right.” I wasn’t sure if I should be impressed, or upset. “Don’t worry. I’ll probably have energy to spare. Since you made lunch already, I’ll take care of the dishes after lunch.”

“Sounds fair,” I said. I sat down. “How long before your class?”

“I dunno. Like an hour or two maybe” Jay said.

“OK great,” I said. I folded my arms on the table and nodded off.

I was awakened by the sound of the announcement system going off. Again, it was Annabelle. “Good Morning. For this morning’s class, our teacher, Jay Lafayette, has asked us to join him outside on the track. See ya there!”

I was still a little groggy, but I managed to pull through. I got up and walked outside to meet everyone else. Once we were all there, Jay stood in front of us.

“Good morning,” he said. “Now, as you know, in order to be good at anything, you need to practice. However, you need something else as well: Endurance. I have been pressured to give up numerous times, whether it be from classmates who hate me, or doctors telling me that I shouldn’t be able to walk.”

He gestured towards the track. “Which brings us to today’s exercise. Now, we have a limited time for class, so here’s what I want you to do. I want you to either run until time is up, or run 10 laps, whichever comes first. That’s all you have to do.”

Andy raised his hand. “Um, what happens if we reach 10?”

“Well then,” Jay began answering, “you can continue running, or you can stop. It’s up to you. Are you ready?” We collectively nodded. “Good. Now let’s go.'' We started lining up. “Oh, and just so nobody cheats, I have Monobird here tracking how many laps you’ve done.” Monobird waved at us. “Are you ready?” We all nod. “Alright. Then GO!”

We all start running. Obviously, Jay outruns everyone and gets 10 laps done faster than any of us could. However, after his tenth lap, he slows down periodically to help people who need it. Some people decide to give up after the required 10, although among those people some are faster than others. Others decide to try and push themselves a little further with varying degrees of success.

Personally, I was among those who wanted to give up after ten, but lap nine proved to be a little more difficult for me. Even the people who were more excited by running this much had given up before I had complete lap ten. I just gotta keep going I told myself.

“Hey” Jay said, pulling up to me. “Are you sure you don’t have what it takes?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” I asked, realizing it was only him and I on the track.

Jay smiled. “You’re like on lap 20.”

“22!” Monobird called out.

“WHAT?!” I said, stopping suddenly. However, the inertia pulled me still, and I ended up falling over. “I did more than 10?”

Jay slowed down to a stop. He came back to help me up. “Yeah” he said, picking me up. “I thought you knew.”

I rubbed my head. “Ugh… I thought I was on lap nine forever.”

“Great! That’s a good motivator!” Jay said. I glared at him. “Oh, you meant on accident.”

“Ugh” I groaned. “I’m so tired.”

Jay smiled. “Alright. Time’s about up anyways. We can just call it here, since everyone else has basically stopped anyway.” He turned to everyone. “Alright, how did you like that?”

“Horrible,” Cassy said, tremling.

“I liked it!” Tammy said. “I was very surprised. I usually don’t like this, but going at my own pace helped a lot.”

“Me too” Andy said. “I did more laps than I thought I could.”

“You did 11,” Pierce pointed out.

“That’s ten more than I thought I could,” Andy replied. Piece laughed.

“Ugh, man” Duke said. “I mean, I liked it, but now I feel the pain.”

“Well, we can all relax now” Jay said “Justin made us some stew earlier this morning for this exact moment.”

“Which is why I accidentally ran 22 laps” I retorted.

“Aw, come on,” Jay said. “You can’t tell me it was a completely bad experience?”

I looked at him. “Ask me when I’m more awake.”

“Fair enough,” he said.

“Alright!” Monobird called. “Let’s head back!” We all headed to the dining area. We got out the pot and reheated it. We each grabbed our bowls and poured us some stew.

I began eating my stew. “Huh. Not bad for something I made when I was half-asleep.”

“OK, I have to ask, how rich is your palette?” Pierce said. “This is absolutely the best stew I’ve had.”

I looked at him. “That can’t possibly be true.”

“Eh. Maybe you’re right” Pierce said. “But it’s the best stew I’ve had in awhile.”

“I concur,” Cassy said. “This is definitely great. If this whole Hope’s Peak things doesn't work out once we get out of here, you could probably get a job at Renee’s restaurant.”

I smiled. “She told me something similar the night before this all began.” I continued eating. It was strange.

I really enjoyed lunch, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think that things were going too well. Like this was another calm before another storm. We’ve been fighting against this for quite some time, but we were nowhere closer to leaving. Still, I thought, I guess I should enjoy these moments with everyone while I still can. There’s no point in not being happy at times like this.

We finished lunch. “Alright, so as promised, I’m going to do the dishes!” Jay said.

“Wait!” Cassy said. “I’ll come and help you.”

Jay looked at her. “Really?” Cassy nodded. “Well, alright then.” The two of them walked off.

Meanwhile, I was still a little tired, so I just stayed seated. “Hey” Andy said, talking to me. “How are you feeling?”

I looked at him quizzically. “Did Pierce put you up to this?”

“No?” Andy questioned. “I’m just wondering since you seem tired. I mean, you did accidentally run 22 laps.”

“Oh” I said. “Well, I guess I’m tired,” I explained. “I don’t like getting up earlier than I have to. But I can do it if need be. Jay asked for help, so I helped him.”

“I see…” Andy said. I yawned. “Well, the good news is, you could probably catch some Zs during my class this afternoon.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?” I asked.

“Yeah” Andy admitted. “Surprisingly, trivia is a lot like running in that you need endurance. But it’s also one of those things where you either like it or you don’t.”

“And you don’t think I’d like it?” I asked.

“Well… I’d like it if you would,” Andy said. “In fact, it might be up your alley. But I’m just trying to help.”

“I see.” I smiled. “Very well. I might just take you up on that.”

“Great!” Andy said. “Oh, and by the way, great stew.”

I smiled. “Thanks.” Andy headed off.

After lunch we had time to hang out for a bit. After a little while, I heard May on the PA. “Good afternoon. For today’s afternoon class, our instructor, Andy Fisher, has asked us to join him in the library. See ya there!”

We headed into the library. Once we had all gathered, Andy looked at all of us. “Um, hello…” he said, nervously. “Um, so, you’re probably wondering what kind of class this is going to be. Which is a fair question to ask. Trivia isn’t necessarily like a lot of your talents, but it can be fun nonetheless. Much like running this morning, this kind of study requires perseverance.

So, for today’s lesson, I want you to pick a topic you are unfamiliar with, find some information on it and keep going until you are bored. I will give you until about 10 minutes until class is over. Ready, steady, go!”

We all were a bit surprised, but decided to go through with it. I looked over at Cassy who promptly got up to find something. Hmmm. Maybe if I knew more about it, I could understand why she has a strong adverse reaction to the supernatural. I looked for a book that talked about supernatural function. I made sure to find one that was objective in its narrative. As much as Cassy shows her disdain for it, I don’t think it would be helpful to get something that promotes it as the hardest truth.

I found a book and read a little bit. The topic itself was actually fairly interesting. I mean, of course it didn’t shake me of my beliefs, but it was interesting to gain a new perspective.

I kept reading for a while. Eventually, Andy called out “OK, I think that’s enough time for now.” We all looked up. “Ah, I mean, if you want to keep looking into it afterwards, that’s fine. But I think it’s time to share. What did we learn about?”

“Well, I did some research into casinos,” Duke said.

“Really?” May asked.

“What?”

“Well, it just seems like you are the type of person to hang out at a casino all day” May said.

“Inconceivable!” Duke said. “I am a scientist. Whatever odds there are of messing up, I would like to be in control. ...Although, having looked into it, it could be fun maybe…”

“Well, I looked into photography,” May explained.

“Photography?” Duke asked

“Yeah” May answered. “I felt like since I’m more about the kinetic, and keeping the party going, I wanted to see what still images had to offer. Turns out, a lot.”

“Alright, alright” Andy said. “Who else wants to share?”

“I’ll go,”Pierce said, raising his hand. “I took the time to look into technology.”

“Huh? But you’re a teenager, right?” Tammy asked. “You should know about this kind of stuff.”

“Heh. Well, I have remarkably bad luck with technology” Pierce added. “Sometimes, I think it’s afraid of me. But now, I think I have a better understanding of it.”

“Hm. Well that seems peculiar” Tammy said. “But I like it. And you might be interested to know, I studied up on the Mongol Empire. It’s actually quite fascinating.”

“And what makes you think I’d be interested in that?” Pierce asked.

“Oh, well, uh, you’re kind of the weapons guy, right?” Tammy answered. “Since they established the biggest empire on land, I would assume you’d study up on the various weapons and techniques they used to pull off such a feat.”

“Oh yeah” Pierce said. “That makes sense. Although my personal preference is within the Roman Empire.”

“Huh. Go figure” Tammy said.

“I looked into medical stuff,” Jay said. “Turns out, I probably should have listened to them. Some of the stuff I went through is actually quite serious.”

“But, would you do it again?” I asked.

“Of course!” Jay answered.

“Figures” I sighed.

“I looked into sea creatures,” Sophie said.

“Why’d you do that?” Annabelle asked.

“Because I thought it would be fun. And it was!” Sophie replied.

“I see,” Annabelle said. “Well, speaking of fun, I took a look into medievil torture devices.”

“Wait, how is that fun?” Sophie asked.

“Well, I thought it would be more fun,” Annabelle relented. “But it wasn’t the kind of torture I was looking for. Still, I learned some interesting things.”

“Well, as long as you’re learning” Sophie said. “Wait, what was that?”

“I took a dive into the history of fast food” Cassy said.

“Fast food, huh” I remarked.

“Well, I am fairly rich. My parents never felt the need to go to such places. But I was always curious” she added.

“Huh. Makes sense” I said.

“And what did you choose to study?” she asked me.

“Oh, I took a deep dive into the supernatural” I answered.

She looked at me, pale as a ghost. “What? WHY?” she demanded.

“...Well…” I began. “For this?” She was still glaring, but seemed a little curious. “I mean, you have such an adverse reaction to it all, I wanted to figure out why you don't like it, but other people do. And what to do if something comes up that makes you uncomfortable about it.”

Cassy’s face turned a little red. “Oh. I see…”

“Smooth,” Pierce said.

“Huh.. That is interesting” Andy remarked. “Most people chose a subject that helped them personally. But you seemed to have chosen a subject for someone else’s benefit.”

“I can’t say I’m too surprised,” Tammy said slyly.

Sophie nodded. “And it’s no surprise who he did it for either.”

I looked at them confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Annabelle chimed in. “Just follow your heart. No matter what others think.”

“Huh?” I said.

“Heh heh” Pierce said. “Well, this has certainly been enlightening.”

“Indeed” Duke said.

“And that’s all I could ask for,” Andy said. “The thing that makes me a good trivia expert is knowing that there is more to learn. So I hope this helped instill a better understanding of that pursuit. And with that, I believe that ends the lesson.”

We all dispersed. As I was leaving, Cassy grabbed my arm. I turned to her, but she didn’t say anything. “You OK?” I asked.

She stood there silently for a bit. “Nevermind” she said. She walked off.

“Huh” I said.

“Hey, uh, not that I mind,” Andy said, “but, um, I did say you could sleep through my class.”

“Oh, right,” I said.

“What made you change your mind?” Andy asked.

“Well, I don’t know,” I said. “When you introduced the topic to us, I immediately thought of it.”

“Huh” Andy said. “How bold of you.”

“Bold?” I questioned.

“Well, uh, you see,” Andy started, “when I like someone like that, it can be hard for me to do stuff like that, you know?”

I sighed. “Why does everyone think I have a thing for Cassy?”

Andy looked at me with a confused expression. “Um, are you sure you don’t need glasses? Cause I can see that even without my glasses.”

I sighed again. “Why does it matter anyways? Even if I did, it’s not like she’d have a thing for me.”

“Hmmmm” Andy thought. He snapped his fingers. “Maybe that’s it.”

I was confused. “What is?” I asked.

“Hold on, I’m going to need to think about this for a bit,” Andy said. “Later.” He walked off.

We had some time to ourselves after that, so we just kind of hung out. A little while later, we all convened for dinner. Diner was mostly chit-chat about today’s lessons. Everyone seemed to enjoy it.

However, like all things in this cursed place, good doesn’t last long, and evil rears its head at moments like this. “Attention!” Monokuma said from the speakers. “Please join me in the gymnasium immediately. Attendance is not optional. See ya there!”

We all were frozen for a second. Still, we knew we had to move. We left the dining area and entered the gym. Monokuma had prepared a stage with a giant heart behind him. “What do you want?” Duke asked, although we all knew the answer.

“Heh heh heh” Monokuma chortled. “I think the more appropriate question to ask is what do YOU want? Or maybe WHO do you want?” We were all confused. “You want to treat this like a real school experience, huh? Well, as the headmaster I feel like I should do something to help out. So I’m organizing a school dance.”

“Where is this going?” I wondered.

“Upupupupu!” Monokuma laughed. “Of course, since this is a dance, you’ll all need dance partners, no? But as highschoolers, it can be hard to ask your crush to a school dance. But never fear! I’ll be doing the asking for you!”

“What?” Cassy said.

“Everyone! Look at your Monopads!” Monokuma instructed. We all did. “On it, you’ll see a name. If you haven’t asked someone to the dance, an invitation will be sent to that person from you asking them to the dance. And none of this ‘going as friends’ business. You have to ask someone on a proper date, or else!”

“Or else what?” Pierce asked.

“My, aren’t you brave” Monokuma remarked.

“Nah, I’m just used to all this BS” Pierce admitted.

“Well, either way…” Monokuma said. “You will all die if you ask someone out insincerely. Happy?”

“I just wanted to hear you say that,” Pierce said.

“Well, there IS another option” Monokuma said. “Obviously, if a murder were to take place, I would have to cancel the dance entirely. So those are your options.”

Everyone was looking at the Monopad. I looked and I saw Cassy’s profile. Of course. Everyone else does. Why wouldn’t the homicidal dual-colored bear think I have a thing for Cassy too?

“When is the dance?” Cassy asked.

“Well that’s what makes me such a good headmaster” Monokuma said. “I’m going to give you a lot of time on this one. The dance itself is on the Friday after the upcoming Friday.”

“After the upcoming Friday, which means…” Cassy began to deduce. She then had a look of horror.

“What is it?” Tammy asked.

“...What day is it today?” Cassy asked in a panicked state.

“Huh? Why it’s…” Duke began to answer. Suddenly, fear washed over him. “Oh no.”

“Hold on, do none of us know?!” Andy asked. He began hyperventilating.

“I usually check my phone for that,” May said.

“But our phones got taken away,” Annabelle said.

“And we’ve been trapped in her for so long, and so much has happened, I guess we lost track” Jay said.

“Oh well,” Monokuma said. “And don’t think about asking Monobird. Otherwise he’ll take a one-way trip to short circuit city. Well, I hope you all can get ready for the dance. After all, everything needs to be juuuuuuuuuuust right.” He left.

We were all very much disturbed by this. An upcoming dance where we have to ask people out sincerely on an unspecified date. Furthermore, invitations will get sent out if we don’t ask. This level of complexity was a lot to unpack, and it didn’t help that this whole situation is emotionally draining already.

[variablejabberwocky]

uuuuuuuuuuuuugh why did i watch the thing

why did i look it up

why oh why did i think someone who’s writing i already know i hate would handle that kind of shit well

FUCK YOU THAT FIGHT WAS TOTALLY WINNABLE BY YOUR OWN EXPLANATION

SHIKIMARU DESERVED BETTER

ASUMA DESERVED BETTER

THE WHOLE FUCKING SERIES DESERVED BETTER

...its prolly a good thing teenage me didn’t see the fight between kakashi and the immortal assholes O.O

...or the sasori fight

......im noticing a trend here *side-eyes self*

sasuke: I’M A BADASS

sasuke: *gets ass handed to him*

sasuke: I’M DEADLY

sasuke: *gets ass handed to him again*

sasuke: FEAR ME!!!

sasuke: *gets ass handed to him so thoroughly that if it wasn’t for others healing him he’d be dead 3 times over*

(aka: sasuke is the least effective tiny kitten ever. all the rage and viciousness, none of the sharp pointy bits to back it up)

omg rewatching some of the original chunin fights and they’re all so tiny

little tiny adorable stupid babies

even the smart ones like shikimaru

how did their teachers A) not strangle the little brats, B) resist the urge to protect them from the world long enough to train them to be little warriors, and C) not actually appear to teach them anything before they got sent to the fucking chunin exams

like so far the best teachers are Gai and Asuma and thats mostly because of the time they spent on ONE student each

i mean, jesus christ, i know team 7 would be a garbage fire anyway just on principle but Kakashi didn’t really help much in that regard

sasuke: *finally has a fucking conversation with naruto, even if it is mostly in slowing-dying-of-blood-loss life-flashing-before-my-eyes hallucinations*

sasuke: ...am....am i having an emotion?

*rolling in the deep plays in the background*

“order maintained through the power of the blade is not peace”

yo, itachi maybe you should have shared that little bit of wisdom you got from shisui with sasuke instead of giving him worse ptsd than you ever had

like that could have been such a good lesson to pass on

and paralleled what happened with kakashi’s worldview after what obito said

...but that would have required better planning and better writing so yeah i see why that didn’t happen -___-

[davetheshady]

It Devours! liveblog 3

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Chapters 16-20!

Despite her personal turmoil and cognitive long jumps, Nils knows exactly who to turn to for guidance: 

HELO <3 <3 <3 

Everyone’s favorite anonymous surveillance helicopter pilot* is a veritable font of wisdom and insight and indeed, has seen some weird shit out in the desert.

* well, mine, anyway

hahaha

Helo knows actual stuff about science and also wants to help! But you just can’t share surveillance with anyone! But they spend all their time in a helicopter and their boyfriend Nate just broke up with them (HOW COULD HE) and that makes life hard!

sorry darryl, NILS/HELO 5EVA

Helo ~breaks their programming~ and sends Nils a scavenged surveillance video of... sand worms something?? It’s enough to egg on Nils’ suspicions, though, so she resolves to sneak into City Hall and see if she can find more concrete proof, or at least the same vague proof with a higher resolution.

She cunningly infiltrates City Hall by asking directions to the bathroom. Naturally, this is as terrifying as everything else in Night Vale.

She lasts WAY longer than I would without whipping out her cell phone flashlight.

(If City Hall is this bad, what on earth is the Night Vale DMV like? Unless it’s like  a TOTAL reversal where it’s efficiently run and staffed with very pleasant people.)

so did i.

Things are going pretty well, until she runs into your standard interfering civil servant.

NOOOOOPE

Fortunately, she is saved by Pamela Winchell! Unfortunately, she is also arrested by Pamela Winchell.

that’s deep man.

and so is the pit that opens up under the ralphs’ dairy section D: D: D:

Meanwhile, Darryl’s back at JoyCon, reminiscing about their cute-yet-creepy (def his aesthetic) equivalent of Sunday school.

Gordo(n), who is just plain creepy, fetches Darryl to come talk to the elusive Pastor Munn. It quickly becomes clear that despite Night Vale’s status as a panopticon surveillance state, the church hierarchy has not been paying very much attention to Darryl, like, at all. Otherwise they’d know that Darryl loves his place in the community, and through that absorbed his faith.

(disagree, the author is dead.)

He’s not questioning his faith in that he doubts what he’s been told – he just has questions, in general, inspired by Nils. (Which, incidentally, is pretty key to a healthy religion. It’s why theological studies are a thing and there are religious scholars everywhere.) 

oooh baby do you know what that’s worth

Darryl wants to skim through Munn’s book collection, but honestly he’d be TOTALLY COOL if Munn and Gordo(n) would just talk to him.

Of course, they’re a creepy cult who operates by restricting information, so that wouldn’t work.

I hate to tell you, Pastor Munn, but all he had to do was turn on the radio at any point in the past five years.

Which brings me to an issue I’ve been having: we have no idea what our heroes know. Year 2 was ALL ABOUT the old oak doors and the desert otherworld and the worship of the Smiling God, covered both by Cecil AND Kevin, who even broadcast to both Desert Bluffs and Night Vale. Carlos’ scientists were on the run from Strex Corp! Carlos had a giant anti-Smiling God umbrella and that kids is how I met your mother! The universe almost uncoiled! Steve Carlsberg hulk-smashed the prophet Kevin into the Smiling God’s face live on radio!

But Nils and Darryl don’t seem to remember any of this and I have NO idea why? Like, there are multiple ways you could handwave this – Nils wasn’t paying attention to Cecil before Carlos ended up in the desert otherworld, and then was too busy being on the run; Darryl was in Desert Bluffs and has only heard approved propaganda; the light of the universe’s coils unwinding messed with everyone’s memories – but, like, you have to pick one! Your readers can’t do all the work for you! It’s fine to not want the story to depend on having listened to the podcast, but it shouldn’t ACTIVELY MAKE THE STORY MORE CONFUSING if you have.

Anyway, all of JoyCon’s intimidation tactics have misfired, because Darryl IMMEDIATELY seeks out his friends and asks for their help to find out what’s wrong.

when all you have is a hammer...

Meanwhile, Nils has survived her night in the slammer and gets a ride home:

It’s Them!

She’s met by Carlos, who is both concerned and bearing her favorite ice cream. What a good. He wants Nils to stop investigating, because it’s putting her in danger.

They’re both right! And they’re both kind of wrong! And because of that they respect each other’s opinions even if they don’t agree! And since Nils is going to continue investigating Carlos is going to support her! And they’re both so cute! The even, I cannot.

Since JoyCon is all about devouring, Nils starts thinking about what, exactly, might be doing the nomming.

1) ALL HAIL

2) the Glow Cloud would NEVER, how DARE you

3) 

But then we take a couple paragraphs to go on some dreadfully misinformed tangents about religions uuuuUUUUUuuuugh

Like, science your way into a religious studies class, geez. There’s a LOT to talk about how various religions have restricted information to control their followers (as indeed basically every human organization has done at one point or another, and like, once a week in Night Vale), but science is just yet another lump of information that might get suppressed; there’s not really a special animosity, there. And meanwhile, the religions that do support science don’t necessarily see it as separate, because once you’ve equated the deity of your choice with creation, that includes all the parts that can be explained empirically and the explaining itself.

Also? Religion generally isn’t about stuff you don’t understand. Religion is all about understanding; it’s just understanding stuff that can’t necessarily be proved. 

c.f. Pumbaa (1994)

Anyways, back to Nils and Carlos being cute:

heee

AWWWW

Nils tries to gather more information on JoyCon, but her only source is Leann Hart’s, err, rather sensationalist book:

::cough::

Also, I feel it’s important to know that Night Vale’s scientists are clearly producing some quality content:

I think we all know who that ‘almost’ is.

Nils finally gets to the awkward post-date texting, with the added bonus of determining whether or not her date might be trying to destroy Night Vale. Ah, romance.

She decides to invite Darryl over, then immediately regrets it because like many people capslocking all over the internet he has no idea what a theory actually is. 

haha SERIOUSLY. You can tell Nils is a good person because she didn’t murder him right there.

Anyway, they then have a much more productive conversation in terms of determining whether or not they are inimically opposed to each other, although they’re not any closer to solving philosophical conundrums.

Meanwhile in the Discworld:

“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.” 

-- Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett

This is a great turning point for both of them: Darryl has to put people above his faith when people are what caused him to believe in the first place, and Nilanjana has to put faith in Darryl, which can’t be explained empirically any more than religion can.

And it doubles as a booty call. What multitasking.