#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

[iamnmbr3]

how do you think Draco reacted when he saw Harry dead after forbidden forest scene?! Obviously we didn't see him cuz Harry's eyes were closed and Draco wasn't one of those who shouted(ofc how JKR let that happen–and they didn't reach that closeness to shout for Harry, either) but how was his reaction, facial expressions and thoughts? In your opinion and imagination ofc..

You always send me such top tier asks! Ok so strictly speaking based on the book canon it's ambiguous whether Draco was actually present for that moment or for the duel that followed. However that's boring and narratively and thematically unfulfilling and we do know that Draco was still at Hogwarts because after the battle his parents find him. So I'm going to go ahead and decide he was there.

(On a side note, huge kudos to Tom Felton for his acting in the movie during this scene - love his expression in that moment where you can so clearly see that he is deeply upset but trying to hide it; I absolutely loathe everything that follows though. I'm not a movie fan in general but imho that hug scene is the worst moment in the entire film series. But I digress.)

So anyway, back to the books. I think Draco was absolutely horrified and devastated but also in utter shock and disbelief. I don't think he was even really was able to process it. He probably retains just enough presence of mind to try to keep his face blank, but he's lucky no one's really looking at him because he doesn't fully manage it. Also a small part of him probably feels like saving Harry at the Manor and sparing him in the Room of Requirement (because Draco could have cursed him from behind but instead alerted Harry to his presence and later tried to stop Crabbe & Goyle hurting him) was all for nothing and he blames himself for not having the nerve to at least secure his own family's future since Harry was doomed anyway.

Except somehow he can't truly bring himself to regret it. Even now. He can't really feel anything anymore. Except a dull sense of disbelief. Because Harry Potter can't really be dead. The world would have stopped surely. It can't be real. It just can't.

And then...it ISN'T real. Harry does the impossible and pops up alive and well right in front of them all. And he's striding forward with such purpose. And in that moment, for all that he's a bit battered looking and his clothes are torn and his hair is messier than Draco has ever seen it, he looks every inch the Chosen One his admirers have always hailed him as. He looks small and vulnerable standing there and Draco wants him to run but he doesn't. Instead he walks towards the most dangerous wizard in all of Britain, calm assurance and determination blazing in his eyes, seeming utterly fearless and untouchable. And somehow, against all odds and against all logic and reason, despite being more scared than he has ever been in his life, Draco hopes.