#utena and anthy we already know

[pikslasrce]

all of these bitches are gay this is insane

[transmascutena]

we watched the black rose musical last night and i'm still thinking about how much akio goes around just.. touching other characters, even in scenes he isn't actually really supposed to be part of. it's a really interesting directing choice. sometimes it's just a touch, like a hand on someone's arm or shoulder, but most of the time he's pushing people. very much like in the show, he is putting the actors (the characters) into the positions he needs them in. only here it's very literal. and instead of just telling them where to be, like a stage director might do, it's physical, hands-on, even kind of violent at times, yet still subtle enough that nobody notices. nobody ever reacts to it, they just move to where he needs them to be, stumbling into place and continuing to play their roles.

and i could talk about exactly who gets pushed when and to where (like how the first and last person he does it to is anthy-as-mamiya, how it's a light push, really just a touch to keep the momentum of what they're already doing going, as opposed to the way he kind of shoves other characters), but the thing that really stood out to me is that the only character he does touch but doesn't ever really push (aside from i think anthy, and i do have a lot of thoughts on the scene where they're dancing together that i may get into in another post) is utena. what he does instead instead is pull her.

in the opening number, there's a moment where it seems like utena is about to walk off-stage (like tokiko does in the scene, because their choreography is mirroring each other. very clever), but before she can, akio grabs her arm and turns her towards the center of the stage instead, where she lies down in her "coffin". the show proper starts, of course, with the once upon a time story of utena meeting the prince, and a recap of the first arc/musical. and of course akio is the one who puts her into position for it. she's still trapped in her coffin.

and, i don't know, there's just something especially unsettling to me about it compared to the pushing. maybe just that it's different from his interactions with every other character. or the contrast between the pushing being more direct and aggressive, compared to him subtly and gently guiding her around the stage, into the chair or closer to him. there's something horribly personal or intimate about it i guess, especially since he often takes her hand to do it.

[looking-for-wisdom]

one of the aspects of rgu that can get overlooked, I think, once you finish that first watchthrough and start looking at the story in a new light, is that anthy — at the very least — has already started caring for utena by the time she loses her duel to touga.

which, in fairness, is the natural and arguably correct response. because when you learn anthy has been all but omniscient the whole time, and that each act by utena to “save” her is just another diminishment of anthy’s autonomy, you begin to understand that in those early episodes, utena is a tool to her. an object of disdain or pity, maybe, if you’re going to argue that anthy thinks anything of her at all. utena is a means to an end.

and somehow, that has to coexist with the fact that anthy missed utena when she’s touga’s bride.

anthy is a tough character to read, but I think the simplest break down of her relationship with utena is that the more emotion she shows, positive or negative, the stronger their bond in anthy’s eyes. poisoning her cookies is an act of care. stabbing a sword through her chest is a love confession. because for a character like anthy, who’s natural state is ambivalence, any deviation is an expression of affection the only way she knows to express it.

And the easy to grasp, natural progression, is that she starts at zero on the scale of caring utena exists, and moves towards the other end of the spectrum as the show continues, coming to a head in the finale.

but it doesn’t work that way. by all accounts, anthy shouldn’t be missing utena by the end of the first arc. utena has steamrolled her the entire time, deciding what she needs without consulting what anthy wants. it’s not dissimilar to any other duelist.

it’s fascinating that their interactions during that arc meant something to anthy. it’s necessary, of course, for utena to realize she cares for anthy but it didn’t have to be reciprocated.

but it is, and in that we find fantastic juxtaposition: anthy does not care about utena as much as utena cares for her — not at this point. she’s not even really at a point that she’s frustrated with utena. if she feels guilt over how upset utena was after the duel, she doesn’t show it. and knowing what we know about the rest of the show, we can’t really blame her. utena is another cog in the system and anthy sees right through it.

and, at the same time, she’s grown to care for utena. she’s become accustomed to her presence and when it’s gone, she misses it. she’s never missed a duelist before. so, somewhere in all of utena’s misguided actions and sometimes outright disregard for what anthy wants, anthy sees something.

It’s not as simple as anthy not liking or caring about utena at the start and then they come to understand each other over time. there are interruptions in the pattern — moments of connection that occur regardless of where they are on the path to mutual understanding. and that’s what makes it so complicated and so interesting. there are no absolutes. there’s no saying that utena’s aim to be a prince and save anthy was hopeless, because somewhere in the midst of all that they were bonded together. perhaps in spite of it, perhaps because of it, perhaps a bit of both — that’s the sticking point.

their relationship is a melting pot of contradictions, but none of them can be removed and still lead to the same ending.

there is no pinpointing the moment anthy began to care for utena. she always does, in a fractured sort of way. you see it throughout, in bits and pieces.

[festeringfae]

*chewing on a log* the way we know from how Juri chooses to dress to go to sleep by herself and how she wears the most visible amount of jewelry to a student council meeting where she knows only Miki will show up demonstrates that Juri would actually prefer to have gender presentation more feminine than most other girls. She's not doing it to compensate-- she only does it when she doubts there will be anyone around to see.

In contrast, at Touga's birthday party-- where Nanami, Nanami's cronies, Anthy, and even Utena-- are all wearing formal gowns, Juri is only in her student council uniform. At Nanami's jewelry party, she does wear a necklace specifically to upstage the piece Nanami is celebrating-- but she wears much more jewelry, in a much more ostentatious style, when she's with Miki in the privacy of the student council hangout. If out-showing Nanami was her primary goal, surely it would make more sense for her to go all out at the party. Instead, she wears one necklace--she has an excuse, it's to show up Nanami, she's just the trademark High School Mean Girl Pulling a Stunt, she can get away with one tiny trinket she actually wants to wear without it attracting the attention of men. If she wears a shirt that basically looks like an even plainer version of her student council uniform. If she wears pants exactly like the ones she wears every day, just in a different color. Not gender conforming enough to read as an invitation, not GNC enough to reveal herself by mistake.

She indulges herself with a grand entrance and a new, sparkly necklace at Nanami's party, but she makes a beeline for Miki the second it's over. If any boy saw the brief moment where she allowed herself to show off feeling beautiful and decided it meant he should possess her, maybe he'll assume she's already Miki's property & leave her be.

Juri doesn't change out of her ridiculously feminine, over-the-top nightgown when she goes wandering at night. We see her out roaming the campus in it twice, in two separate locations. There's no reason for her to do that, instead of putting her uniform back on to take her walk.

The moments where we see Juri in the nightgown are all moments where somebody is seeing Juri as her most unguarded, most authentic self-- the audience, Utena, Ruka.

It makes me think Juri decides to wear her nightgown when she goes out, when she thinks enough people will be sleeping to risk it, because she just wants the brief chance to dress like herself in public.

[angfdzfilm]

For anyone that’s watched the Revolutionary Girl Utena series, I think watching Anthy in this movie can be pretty jarring. She’s so much more forward in her desires & her attitudes. She seems self possessed & free in a way that RGU Anthy never was.

The context she exists in during this film is a lot different than it was in RGU, as we later come to learn. The “big bad” has been pre-defeated... but I think that’s also what makes AoU SOOO good. It makes very evident that the big bad is not a person, or a gender. The big bad is an idea. 

Anthy is keeping herself in Ohtori because she has no way out, no vehicle forward, no place to go other than what she already knows. She follows her desires, but only within the structure that’s already been created around her. 

[os-eclipses-tamen-son-yuri]

I think the addition of Tsuwabuki to the plot line of RGU is genius, BUT especially so linking him narratively with Nanami.

Something about... depicting a child who wants to be a prince to protect princesses (the narrative male gender role) with initialy good intentions; and taking that and making him end up looking up to Touga (and everything he represents; The Student Prince) .

Already showing the seeds of the instrumentalisation of his role as a man when stalking Nanami in an extremely creepy way and manipulating her to get on her good graces, even if it DOES put her in danger.

Something about growing up and feeling the despair of seeing the boys you care about in your life (who already had privilege over you as a girl, even if they didn't know how to fully exploit) turn into mysoginistic men...

Seeing this kid who at the very start you think: "well he's still just a child, maybe he won't be like the other men, maybe he'll just be a sweet boy so that Nanami gets some character development and nothing more, a one-episode character and then realize that...no. It's not that he's different from the others, it's that he has yet to be like them.

In Ohtori, Tsuwabuki is a "kid". Really, all of them are. But the show makes a very clear separation between kids before adolescence and teenagers. What's interesting is that, in Utena, the designs of everyone who is at least a teenager support the narrative theme of the adultification they suffer, which is clearer with the younger girls. Nanami and Tsuwabuki have a 3 year age gap, the same as her and her brother. This allows us to really see the disparity between their desires.

Nanami "loves" his brother because she has been brought up to believe that he is to be idolised, the he is HER prince.

Touga wishes to become A Prince (not an Ideal Prince like Dios, for his behaviour clearly tells otherwise; after all, he is following the steps of the "Captured Prince" but that's a story for another day).

And then there's Tsuwabuki, whose core desire is... becoming an adult.

But adults are complicated, especially in Ohtori, for they don't really exist. Ohtori is a corrupted Neverland where its Peter Pan is an adult only when compared to all the children that surround him. For can someone really be considered an adult when they willfully remain inside their own man-made eggshell. Choosing death –for only those who are dead lose any ability to grow up– so long as he remains in control. A chick growing inside their coffin, with no desire to see the outside world. The most childish desire of them all.

But kids look up to their older peers. It's only natural.

AGAIN we see this idea of boys becoming oppressive and learning to use their privilege kinda reprised (or rather, Nanami being once more the reflection) with Dios/Akio and Anthy and Akio and Touga.

How "The prince" ends up manifesting in all boys and men in Ohtori, how his ghost(s) haunt those men both dead and alive. Younger and older men alike...

[empty-movement]

The James Somerton Utena has been officially uploaded to YouTube, but we don’t know if it was scheduled or not because we don’t know if James is alive.

Welp, it sure has been. Per the comments, he removed bangers like 'lol Anthy is an annoying sub am i right,' which means he sought feedback on the video and changed things about it. I don't know to what degree that conflicts with or doesn't conflict with the possibility that it auto-posted. I haven't had time to check it out myself yet.

Personally, James is an adult with responsibility for his actions. Whether he is alive right now or not, he is already guilty of harm baiting his audience, and as someone who has already had the pleasure of that, I find my willingness to extend him sympathy well exhausted. I hope he chooses the only option that allows for any chance at growth, but I can't say I'm personally invested in it.

BTW if it's not already obvious, fuck wholly anyone who is suggesting this would be hbomb or todd's fault. No. Fuck that.

[bi-hop]

my thoughts on rgu ep 2

and we're back to watching rgu! my thoughts so far can be found here.

it's funny and cute how those girls fawn over utena. no further thoughts, I just enjoy when that happens in yuri

I was so fucking worried that Wakaba wouldn't want to talk to Utena anymore after All That. I think Utena did the duel for a good reason but it's not like Wakaba asked her to. but nope, that wasn't the point of all that. it's okay, girl, you're better than Saionji's abusive ass anyway

... is the student council a doomsday cult?

you'd think for a group trying to 'bring revolution to the world' or whatever, they'd be more comfortable with a chaos agent added to their game LMAOOO anyway I'm pretending I understand what the fuck is going on with the letters but I don't <3

current working theory: End of the World is a supernatural force guiding them to achieve ends on the material plane. source? I have none. do not tell me what's going on or I will scream at the top of my lungs and embarrass us all

I had the feeling Anthy would be in the dorm but her writing her name underneath Utena's because her placement was an afterthought is... cute... kinda heartwrenching...

also is Anthy meant to look like a housewife? they're really hammering home the patriarchal nature of engagement and marriage here, and we haven't even gotten to another duel

speaking of their situation... while Anthy being like "you dress like a boy because you like to and I do the role as a Rose Bride because I like to" is an interesting conversation to have, I don't know if I believe it. I'm not claiming Utena's reasoning for dressing the way she does is false, I just also don't think it's the full story considering how she was also inspired to dress a certain way by a figure in her past. As for Anthy though, I do think it's false. I think she certainly believes what she's saying but the idea that she just naturally enjoys being subservient (cooking, cleaning) and being an object (more on that later) does not seem organic or 'true' to her.

my girlfriend wants a Chu-Chu plushie... ruh roh

okay back to the duels. I was already thinking she'd object to further duels because the one she partook in was exclusively for the benefit of Wakaba and she has no interest in the power plays over the Rose Bride. she doesn't even know about what they're fighting for, right? so why would she care

god, Saionji is such an abusive ex. I mean, obviously, but wow. I do think the situation is worsened by the fact that the duels confer a sense of ownership over Anthy, but the entitlement... the way he feels like she's betrayed him when he's the one who lost while also having THE ADVANTAGE? rotating him calling her shameless... Saionji-senpai vs Utena-sama... hm

I honestly didn't really notice the castle at the top of the sky when I was watching episode 1, so now the dialogue about entering it makes sense lmao

Utena claiming not to care about Anthy's situation but then immediately getting into the Sword of Dios rite and subconsciously moving to protect the rose even at the potential risk to her... yeah okay. Even Saionji calls her out on it lmao

final thoughts on the way Anthy is rendered an object to be possessed and owned but the way Saionji literally talks about her and the Sword of Dios in the same breath as 'glory' rather than, you know, Anthy being a person he cares for says it all. Her worth is only in the sense of possessing the power of Dios (whatever that means)

... is the prince Dios??? is he dead? what the fuck.

.... is Dios End of the World?!??!!? I'm so confused

Next episode is a ball episode and I'm excited for that one. I love balls, I love intrigue, I love messes.

This episode was good though, even if the pace felt different than the first episode. I think my central interest so far in the series is unraveling the mystery of what the fuck is going on at this school (the student council being powerful enough to make kids vanish is so funny btw), but I'm also deeply invested in Anthy. her passivity in the face of everything is alarming and I just want to understand it. how much of it is facade? how much of it is genuine conditioning? I want to know!!!

[darkscorpiox]

Utena - Analysis on the opening

I don’t know if someone has already done it, but here’s my interpretation of the opening.

Warning: very, VERY long post and mention of scenes from the show, enough to be considered spoilers (sorry 😅)

Edit: I’ve made an analysis on the first ending as well

Let’s live heroically, let’s live with style. (Just a long, long time.)

The opening starts with our two main characters naked and in a fetal position, indicating their status of “newborn” in the story. Then, they are clad in the garbs of their respective roles. Interestingly, despite facing and leaning toward each other, their eyes remain close. In the case of Utena, it symbolizes her inability to see beyond her own narrative of the heroic prince saving the princess. As for Anthy, it’s her resignation to not see anything beyond her role of Rose Bride which she has played for decades/centuries, hence the long, long time.

Even if the two of us are torn apart… (Let go of me…) …take my revolution.

In the next sequence, not only are they not looking at each other, but they are also back-to-back, another indication that they are positioned to be at odds with each other, whether they want to or not. Still, despite the obstacles thrown at them, despite Anthy’s attempts to make Utena give up on her (“Let go of me…”), the latter doesn’t stop telling her to take her hand (revolution) and that’s what she did.

In the sunlit garden, we both joined out hands.

Miki’s sunlit garden is an idealized memory, so it makes sense to compare Utena’s goal of becoming a prince to the former. Also, the tower, where her journey is supposed to end with her heteronormative “happily ever after”, is where she and Anthy join hands and the latter’s revolution begins.

The sequence where Utena walks with the male students has a “one of the boys” kind of vibe and that might have been the intent. The tomboy character may appear progressive by refusing to conform to traditionally feminine gender norms, but that’s instead a sexist concept because it implies that Utena’s gender, her femininity (and by association, anything branded as “girly”), is the one thing that makes her less than her fellow male schoolmates. Also, she looks over her shoulder, something or someone (Anthy?) catching her attention which stops her from blindly following the other boys’ lead.

Drawing close for comfort, we both swore…

In Anthy’s case, due to her hair and skin color, the vibe she emanates as she walks with her fellow female schoolmates is “not like other girls”, another trope which hurts women by marginalizing the few “different/special ones” from the “normal/average ones” or vice versa. However, the reason she turned around (Utena? Her perspicacity?) is what helps her preserve the part of her identity which is still deep within her. So being different isn’t a bad thing as long as every person, especially girls, are given the same courtesy.

If you read the Japanese lyrics, you would know chikai (from chikau, meaning “to swear/vow”) is at the beginning of Anthy’s sequence, when we see the gates of Ohtori, where she swears to find Utena again.

(Also, did you notice that their respective sequences begin with a shot of where their story in Ohtori ends?)

…never again would we ever fall in love. (Every time.)

This line is sung as our two protagonists stand face to face in Anthy’s cage-like greenhouse, where the cycle of the quest for revolution always (re)starts. That vow of never falling in love again, along with that Every time, makes me wonder about how many games had taken place before Utena. How many times had Anthy been engaged to a “chosen one”? How many of those “chosen ones” did she grow to love, yet still choose to betray? How many times did she swore to never love another again only to do so despite said promise to herself? Utena, by ending the cycle, makes the vow mentioned before much sweeter: she and Anthy choose to never fall in love again because they have pledged their love for each other till death do them part (like a married couple 🥰🤵🏻‍♀️👰🏾‍♀️🥰).

I see that photo of us standing cheek to cheek… …and place a bit of my loneliness in our smiles. (Revolution!)

At this moment, the past represented by Utena and Anthy lying down, facing each other, and the future represented by the lyrics paralleled each other.

Past: a (naively) smiling Utena and a (falsely) smiling Anthy -> Anthy gives the white rose, the symbol of the Prince and by association, patriarchy, the source of her eternal pain, to Utena who is unaware of the dark history connected to it -> (failed) Revolution by dueling (transition to the dueling arena)

Future: the photo at the end of Episode 39 -> Anthy’s longing for Utena -> (successful) Revolution by leaving Akio

Even if I dream, even if I cry, even if I get hurt… …reality keeps on coming recklessly.

This sequence is about the Duelists.

Utena being the one who dreams is self-explanatory.

Saionji, if you pause at the right time, is seen with tears in his eyes. Behind his arrogant attitude is nothing but a mentally weak and insecure boy who throws violent tantrums when things don’t go his way.

Juri is no doubt the one most hurt in the series, not only because of her gender, but also because of her sexual orientation (I’ve made a post about it).

Miki and Nanami being the ones hit by reality makes sense due to the knowledge they idealize the relationship they shared with their respective siblings when they were children.

But what about Touga? Maybe it’s the confidence that he could get the power to revolutionize the (his) world if he emulates the system which had hurt him only to realize that such way of doing things won’t get him closer to his goal. Or, since he’s the first antagonist of the show, giving us a taste of what Akio, another male character whose inside is the opposite of his princely front, could do to girls, maybe he represents the reality/truth of the (imperfect) world.

All these Duelists, these teenagers, fight each other for a purpose and that later turns out to be futile after they find out that the rules they play by are a cover for a much more sinister plot.

I wanna find my own place, the value of being…

The first half, we focus on Utena who raises her sword with a determined look as the blue sky turned golden and the dueling arena crumbled. Utena rejects the narrative Akio wants for her and in the process, breaks the world he has created (and kept Anthy in).

While we zoom in on Utena, symbolizing her will to move forward, it’s the opposite with Anthy. Expression blank, she put some distance between her and Utena/the viewer(s), letting herself (her true self) disappear with Akio’s self-made world.

This sequence foreshadows what will happen in Episode 38.

…the person I’ve been until now…

But as it is shown in Episode 39, Anthy didn’t disappear in the fall of Akio’s world and stood up against her brother (riding a horse), mirroring Utena.

Also, we see Dios opens his eyes as the dueling arena crumbles to dust.

In Episode 13, Akio is conversing with a “sealed” Dios who “glare[s] at” him for wanting to bring the Prince back into the world. Dios had been “sealed away” because playing Prince had been killing him. Anthy had become the world’s sole target of their hatred so that he would no longer carry that great burden on his shoulders ever again. Dios is angry at Akio for not only trying to turn her sacrifice into a fruitless endeavor, but for also taking part in her eternal torment by making her an accomplice in his scheme.

Akio has internalized the teachings of patriarchy. He now idealizes the Prince, forgetting that his current self isn’t the result of Anthy sealing the latter’s power away. He had, of his own volition, casted away his “nobility” and enjoyed the privileges of his gender. He was free of the duties expected from the Prince yet chose to not use that freedom to search for a way to save his sister without taking on that mantle again. Protected by a patriarchal system, Akio is in fact afraid of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders again despite his desire to return to his “glory days”. He wants to be the Prince again (regression), but also doesn’t want to give up his life of privilege. There is no step toward self-improvement. And that’s why his quest for revolution is nothing but a pretext to play people like a fiddle, especially the vulnerable ones like children and women. I think he subconsciously knows he’s maintaining a perpetual cycle meant to end in failure, but he’s too lost in his self-centeredness to take a third option, to destroy the limits of his coffin. In other words, Akio must let patriarchy (manifested through the game and the dueling arena) disappear in order to regain the lost part of him that is Dios, because what the latter really wants is to live in a better world, one where Princes aren’t needed anymore.

Let’s find the strength to throw it all away. Strip down to nothing all.

Utena having the strength to throw everything away references her decision to give up on the heteronormative “happy ending” given to her at the cost of Anthy’s well-being.

Anthy being stripped of everything references her true (naked) self within her coffin.

Become like rose petals, blowing free!

Honestly, that part was a bit difficult to interpret. We do see petals blown in the wind when Utena beats boys at basketball, but the only time I saw them concerning Anthy (and by association, the duels) was when the Duelist gets “deflowered”, and I didn’t get a feeling of freedom from it. Or so I thought at first. Knowing that the duels are part of Akio’s plot which is nothing but a wild goose chase, it makes sense in the context that losing means some time away from Akio’s control and thus, a chance to reflect and for self-improvement. Also, if the dueling arena is like a groomed flower, then its rubble is the petals. This might be foreshadowed in Episode 9, when Anthy falls with rose petals scattered everywhere as Utena tries to catch her.

Even if the two of us are torn apart… …I swear that I will change the world.

We have a return of Even if the two of us are torn apart… (Let go of me…) / …take my revolution. This time, there’s no request to let go of the other party and Utena is taking the next step toward (self-)improvement. If you pause at the right time, you can see she is not in a fetal position like at the beginning of the opening. Now, it looks like she is opening herself to the real world.

Anthy is not present, but that’s because she hasn’t reunited with Utena yet. Until that day comes, the latter will keep fighting for the world both deserve to live in.

In conclusion, the opening is a summary of the entire series and foreshadows how it would end.

[aroanthy]

thinking about kanae and her relationship with her parents and akio and his relationship with her parents and just like…. ideas about patriarchs and fathers and family in utena. and incest obviously. you know there’s something so horrifying about kanae’s situation, beyond the obvious fact that she’s not yet graduated high school and she’s being married off to a child predator who is using their relationship to levy more power over more children. and her mum. and the fact that we don’t ever SEE her dad. fathers in utena have, shall we say, the worst track record in the book. i have so many things that i want to say about representations of Adult Men in rgu and specifically representations of fathers but it all circles back to their absence and imitation.

like, okay. i think the only (non-silhouetted, ie Actual Flesh) father we see is miki’s, and even then we don’t see his face. similarly we don’t see kanae’s mum’ face though she too is a Flesh Parent. don’t even get me started on how the only two visual representation of utena’s parents are their coffins and graves. also don’t get me started on that One shot from episode 10 that i use in all of my amvs of the silhouetted kiryuu parents because as you can probably tell from my heavy use of it in my amvs, i find it a deeply fascinating shot. swagever. all of this is to say, dads are not In The Flesh in utena.

im excluding the movie from this discussion bc whilst im a diehard aou lover and would never normally eclipse it from my analysis like this, the choices it makes in representing touga’s father break with rgu’s typical stylistic choices in a way that i honestly think is less effective. that whole sequence is incredibly visually rich in every other way and includes symbology that is some of the most compelling in all of rgu, imho, but it’s like. gahhh. i know it’s an active choice to represent him as Just A Guy, and you could argue ‘well akio’s Just A Guy’ but it’s. it just irritates me. i don’t think it’s meaningful in the way that utena likes to be meaningful. id argue that seeing his face doesn’t contribute anything, but idk maybe i just don’t like looking at his horrible face. it’s probably just that but also im right it’s a lacking stylistic choice

rambling side note aside, i get to my actual point that i technically already alluded to: akio. akio’s not a dad but akio is positioned as a (pseudo?)father figure to (checks notes) anthy, utena, kanae (hey remember she’s what started this post lol), touga, id throw nanami in, you could probably make a tangential argument for miki and kozue, ruka’s an interesting one, and mikage (maybe??). this is for a couple of reasons. he’s the (acting) chairman of the school that all the characters i just listed attend, he’s the guardian/caregiver for three or four of them, and, fundamentally, he guides and governs their lives to the best of his ability (not in the sense that he’s trying really hard to raise these kids, in the sense that he’s trying to control them. lol). BUT. crucially. he is an approximation of a father, an imitation of the patriarch, even and especially to anthy.

why does this matter? well, funnily(?) enough it circles back to why i dislike aou’s choice to portray touga’s father as A Guy. the powerful men in ohtori— and when i say ‘powerful’ here, i specifically mean men who are not marginalised, men who are not racialised, men who come from money and have never had to reach the top of the tower, rather always resided at its summit— are not seen by us. akio is the acting chairman, the acting father, the stand-in who stood up for something that is altogether worse than him, that made him who he is in such an insidious way. and i just think that’s really fucking interesting to think about wrt his status as a brown man, being racialised, being The Thing That We See when everything else— the inappropriate vice principal, miki’s piano teacher, mr ohtori, mr kiryuu (anime version), even off-hand dialogue from shadow girls about adult men in positions of power like mr judge (papa! daddy! god!!)— is obfuscated and implied. and i don’t want to suggest that that’s an intentional commentary on the racist mythologising of brown and black men as innately sexually violent, because. It’s Not. and utena massively drops the ball wrt race, but because of that lack of explicit, intentional commentary, it creates this strange dynamic between akio, the only racialised man in the show, and Every Other Guy. and that’s a very long-winded way of saying ‘maybe poisoning mr ohtori was a good thing actually’

[transmascutena]

"anthy's also transfem but thats always true to me anyways" i am staring directly at it. you understand. you understand perfectly.

for me, transfem anthy (much like transmasc utena) really comes down to it adding a lot of new layers to everything going on with her character and her arc. and the show already has so much to say about gender and about queerness so i don't think it's at all a stretch to read genderqueerness into it.

the pressure to conform to traditional femininity, to be quiet, to not stand up for or assert yourself (something anthy has done in the past which ended horribly for her) are things all women experience, but doubly so with the idea that you need to "prove" yourself and your gender, to perform that role perfectly and that if you don’t, you will at best not be taken seriously, and at worst… well. be attacked by a million swords of hate. or the real world equivalent.

then there's the victim-blaming for the abuse she faces, from akio and from everyone else. reading anthy as transfem adds a layer to what he says about her “choosing this” and “not being able to be happy any other way.” his idea of womanhood as synonymous with pain and suffering and abuse at the hands of men, and that if anthy wants one she must necessarily want or at least accept the other. i think someone in a discord server i’m in phrased it as something along the lines of “if you’re going to act like a girl, i’ll treat you like one” when we talked about this, which. ouch. he already views his abuse of her as a natural consequence of a choice she made, and this would just be another aspect of that.

there's also the whole thing with mamiya, and dios, who anthy looks so much like when pretending to be a boy, and there's so much gender to unpack in all that that i don't even know where to start. i think it's so interesting to think about how anthy feels about masculinity and about femininity, both of which are things she performs at different points, because she has to, not because she chooses to. and i love thinking about how she might learn to redefine these things for herself post-canon. like realizing that she doesn't have to be feminine all the time to be a girl, or that she does like being feminine as long as it's on her own terms, or that she can be both, or neither, or whatever else she wants.

[adracat]

G Witch and The Door to Eternity

In the aftermath of ep21 I was a bit stumped ngl. I was convinced someone would offer the very clear feminine Utena machine to Suletta, and it was baffling we got a new one styled after Caliban instead. Where were they going with this? After looking at this screenshot, it clicked.

QZ is a coffin with Aerial trapped inside. Those of you who've seen Utena already know the connotations but let's dissect this season for a moment. We have a betrayal, and then Miorine in the rosebride's stead bearing the 'swords of human hatred'.

But the same could be said of Aerial. A betrayal and bearing Prospera's sins as Anthy does for Akio.

Now we see QZ and its a coffin of all things, opening a door to Eri's eternal existence. We just went through Utena 39 throughout this season. But what happens next?

Akio attempts to bash down the door using brute masculine force. Note, this is the Sword of Dios. A sword of a prince with a name meaning God. Caliburn is a holy sword used by King Arthur. The connection is overt.

And Calibarn is just as obvious with paying homage to this sword and minor antagonist in the Tempest. Yet Caliban, like Akio, is a violator who cannot conceive of anything but brutish solutions. He's pitiable but ultimately doomed to remain in servitude. Like Akio he does not achieve what he wants.

I'm uncertain if Suletta will pilot this 'monster' but if she does, she's ultimately doomed to fail. A violator and abuser cannot open the door to eternity.

Finally, Utena takes her turn. She tries like Akio to force open the door and fails. Akio is certain she cannot open the door without a sword. But in the end it's not force or swords that transform the door into Anthy's coffin, where she hid and allowed herself to bear the world's hate. And that's not what finally frees her either. It's unconditional love that allows them to finally see each other fully at last.

This parallel means, in my opinion, a monstrous gundam like Calibarn cannot reach Eri and it's only a gundam that emobodies feminine attributes, the symbolic lovechild of Mio and Guel's good intentions gone awry, that will allow Suletta to reach her. It's not hard to liken the crumbling imagery here to QZ after Eri is freed as her counterpart in The Tempest. I might be wrong, but it's no accident imo that the Schwarzette bears Movie Utena's uniform colors and coded with Mercury symbolism. If I'm wrong, hey it's fun food for thought!

Note: I have considered that since Caliburn is a temporary weapon, we’ll see Suletta fail like Akio and need to try again thus completing the parallel. Arthur is given Excalibur by The Lady Of The Lake. Considering the OP with Mio sinking in water, could be intentional assuming it’s not a gaffe. DUB will clarify

[inbarfink]

Okay, so, an RGU Good Omens AU with Utenanthy = Ineffable Husbands is already a very solid idea that works very well. Like, it is pretty funny to think how totally contrasting these characters’ core aesthetics are (especially Aziraphale and Utena) but when you get deep down to these characters’ core issues and narrative roles there’s a lot of parallels you can use. Crowley and Anthy both suffer from self-loathing due to being labeled as Ontologically Evil while trying their best to relish in it, self-sacrificing to a fault while also harboring some deep-rooted resentments. Utena and Aziraphale are both incredibly well-meaning in a very endearing way but are also so blinded by their deeply-ingrained black-and-white conceptions of how the world should work that it makes them stupidly oblivious and harmful to the one they love. I can go into it even more deeply, but it works pretty damn well…

And now I am thinking, if there’s any interesting ways to slot in the rest of the cast (Shadow Play GIrls = Agnes Nutter???). More specifically right now I am considering if there’s anything interesting I can do with the whole Gabriel/Beezlebub thing.

Because, like, my initial plan was maybe everyone in the Student Council as Angels, everyone who was a Black Rose Duelist a Demon and anyone who’s in neither category is Human. And… the whole point of the Black Rose Duelist is that most of them are deeply emotionally connected to a member of the Student Council. But also…… Most of these relationships are not ones that I can see getting any sort of happily ever after up in the stars. Even by RGU standards. 

I mean… I think the closest option with this idea is Gabriel!Juri and Beelzebub!Shiroi which… I mean, it can work. That’s, arguably, RGU’s second-or-third biggest ‘ship’, and there’s plenty of thematic parallels you can make between Juri/Shiori and Utena/Anthy. My main reservation about this idea is just that… I just find it hard to imagine Juri/Shiori as the ‘B-Couple’ who sort-their-shit-out while the main couple is still deep in the Drama. Even when this main couple is Utena/Anthy, this is kind of a tough sell.

The other thing I was thinking about is that, like……. The best choice for a Gabriel in this AU should obviously be Touga, right?? Like, we’ve got this smarmy macho incredibly hateable guy who seems to just be a contrast to our Good Duelist/Angel to make them look better but… whoops! Turns out they’re actually Narrative Counterparts with a lot of things in common! And it’s kinda about giving this shitty guy redeeming qualities but also it’s mostly about deconstructing the flaws of our ‘good one’. In terms of both characterization and narrative roles, Touga is the best choice for the Archangel Fucking Gabriel.

And Touga’s Black Rose ‘counterpart’ is Keiko. Which like… okay, she can work as a Beezelbub. I mean, the closest thing for an animal motif/Demon Fursona we’ve got for her is the title of her focus episode (“Vermin” or more literally “Troublesome Insects”), so from this angle, this could work. 

But like… it’s Keiko. The whole point of her character is that she is a Forgettable Side Act that Touga doesn’t really care about and no other main character really pays attention to either. Making her Lord Beezlelbub feels like missing the point. 

On the other hand, we could just throw away this whole Student Council/Black Rose Heaven/Hell dichotomy idea and go with the character Touga is actually frequently paired with, Saionji. These two actually kinda work as ‘B-Couple who sort their shit out before the main couple does’. I mean… It's clear they’ve got a few issues to work on, but they do reach a reconciliation before the climax of the actual show. I think that does kinda work? 

Or maybe we should swap Demon/Angel roles on Touga/Saionji. I mean, I know I went over why Touga is the perfect Gabriel choice but… Saionji works decently well too. And mostly I just think it’ll be funny to play with the whole ‘Crowley fucking hates Gabriel’ thing with Anthy and Saionji lol

Or… if Saionji is Gabriel, then maybe ‘his’ Black Rose Duelist could be Beezelbub? Namely Wakaba? But that also clashes into a lot of the same thematic problems as Keiko above. I mean, not to the same level…. But still….

Or maybe, we can bring the whole Juri-Gabriel idea back, and go with the Juri/Wakaba angle that the Movie teased. You know, with the whole Juri is driving Wakaba thing?

I mean, both Gabriel/Beezlebub and Juri/Wakaba are relationships that developed almost entirely off-screen so that’s also maybe an angle of comparison worth considering?

Hmmm… I think I still need to think about this for a while. See if there’s other options I haven’t considered. Maybe slot other characters into other roles and see what comes out of that… But you know what might help me decide?

That’s right! A Poll!

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

The narrative didn't doom me, it just ditched me

Warning: There will be mentions of upsetting content like sexual abuse, bullying, xenophobia and manipulation. It won't get graphic and it won't be discussed in-depth but it will be mentioned.

I've been thinking a lot about my attachment to Jeyne Poole and I think I cracked the code or at least I’m cracking the code.

So, requirements to become a "The narrative didn't doom me, it just ditched me" character:

Involve some sort of metanarrative irony, can be intentional or accidental

Being archetypal to a secondary or tertiary character, but written with depth or relevance to the story

Becoming obsolete. Be it by an adaptation, the narrative, or the fandom's perception. This person doesn't matter.

I listed four examples under the readmore

Wakaba Shinohara

(look at me, a non-practicing pseudo-intellectual talking about RGU)

Mother of all mothers! She is the blueprint!

She is the only secondary character who doesn’t appear on the opening of the show. She is average looking to the point you could pass her as a background character compared to all the other prominent characters in the story, as a student she is average, she has no special abilities or talents and the nicest and most personal compliment she gets is Utena (Wakaba's best friend, but not a feeling that is reciprocated) telling her she'd make a good housewife.

She has an entire episode dedicated to the Angst of being a satellite character and even after that episode which shows the tragedy of her story being a sideline, she remains in that sideline.

Wakaba's only sense of self value comes from her being close to the people the narrative deems as more special and since Utena has been distancing herself a little from her because she is growing closer to Anthy, being suddenly able to keep bad boy renegade (actually cringe fail loser) Saionji dependant on her transforms her into a protagonist. Suddenly she is the one being called pretty by Utena, she is getting better grades, she is being above average. She has something that makes her special!

The saddest thing is that she had already been pivotal to Utena's narrative development. During episode 12 she is the one who triggers Utena into reclaiming her Princehood and duelling Touga, but she is not capable of seeing that as something she can call her own.

And then during the masterpiece that is "Wakaba Flourishing" we see her confronting those insecurities and feelings of inferiority once she realises Saionji will leave her too and discard her!

She duels Utena, intends to kill Anthy, who se believes is the one behind her losing Utena and Saionji's attentions, loses to the protagonist who loves her, but not enough to make her become special too...and then....

Wakaba goes back to her dorm room, now empty of Saionji who no longer needs to live at her place, and we viewers are destroyed.

She returns to her cheery, poppy, apparently happy-go-lucky self, but we know what lurks inside her.

It's funny because the narrative likes playing with her. On the one hand she is special! She is the one who gets Utena out of her depression in episode 12 and she is the one who saves Utena & Anthy at their escape in the movie. But then again, there is only one episode centred on her, right? And that episode ends once Saionji leaves her. She loses the spotlight as soon as a more relevant character distances themselves from her.

The fact she hasn't appeared in any of the post-show/movie mangas, while other show-only characters have, is heartbreaking and hilarious.

Sorry Wakaba, you are lovely but you don't make the cut, go listen to some Penelope Scott, her lyrics are a bit curt, but still, it couldn't hurt.

Heather Matarazzo in her iconic role as Dawn Wiener

Beloved...

Dawn Wiener is the main character of Todd Solondz “Welcome to the Dollhouse”, although if compared to most coming-of-age protagonists, she is quite depressing.

At school she is bullied, at home she is neglected, she has no friends, talents, or self esteem and the few times she stands up for herself things backfire. She is not always loveable either. Dawn feels dangerously envious to her little sister Missy, who is everything Dawn is not; beloved and beautiful.

As we see her grow up in the movie, we come to the realisation that, it doesn’t matter how much she tries, things won’t get better for her.

Dawn Wiener ends her introduction movie as a perpetual loser who has somewhat decided to conform to her place as an underdog who will never find acceptance among her family or peers, partially because of her looks, which are seen by most as ugly. It's more one of the first scenes in the movie has a young girl bullying Dawn in the bathroom and when Dawns asks her why, the girls responds "Because you are ugly."

In the spin off movie "Palindromes" it is revealed that her adulthood wasn't much more different. She went to college, gained weight and acne and killed herself after becoming pregnant by date rape.

The entire motif of Solondz cinema can be explained within the lines spoken by one of his characters at the end of the movie:

"No one ever changes. They think that they do, but they don't. If you are the depressed type now, that's the way you'll always be. If you're the mindless happy type now, that's the way you'll be when you grow up."

Surprisingly in another spin-off of "Welcome to the Dollhouse", "Wiener Dog", Dawn finds a happy ending. She has a stable and enjoyable job as a veterinary and is rekindling a relationship with her love interest from "Welcome to the Dollhouse", Brandon. Their last scene shows them happily talking about their future while holding hands.

So it probably sounds weird whenever I say this is a much sadder and depressing ending than the one where she commits suicide.

And I stand by that, because there is a fundamental change in "Wiener Dog".

Dawn's actress, Heather Matarazzo, has been recast by a more conventional-looking actress who is much more fitting into the female ideas of beauty Dawn was told she could never become. If anything, her new actress looks more similar to Dawn's little sister.

The fact that Matarazzo wasn't informed of this, and only came to find out that her most iconic character was now being portrayed by conventionally attractive and successful Greta Gerwig through Twitter, while she was struggling to find roles that actually allowed her to act instead of just being cast as a insulting comedic archetype, like the abhorrent admirer, is the final gut punch. She felt deeply hurt.

Also, just wanna add, the entire movie (Welcome to the Dollhouse) is on YouTube for free but it’s a VERY upsetting movie. It’s hyperbolic in its dark comedy without being edgy, and it is uncomfortable because somehow it still manages to be cruelly realistic in its themes of bullying and abuse. I’ve only watched it two times and, now that my depression has gotten stronger than ever, I sure won’t watch it again.

Jeyne Poole

♪ A terrible mistaaaaaaake was made... ♫ I love that song for her because it fits her in and outside the story.

On a meta-level, I think she is the most tragic because it's accidental. The two former examples were written and portrayed with the intention of making us feel their tragedy. This is not poor Jeyne Poole's case. I genuinely get anxious when thinking about her or how she is treated by fandom because her case is real. She is one of those things that make me worry Solondz might be right in his cynical views of the world.

She is a book character so I can't put pictures of her without stealing art but also this entire thing is about characters being treated like shit by the narrative in order to drive a point, so hahah Jeyne! You don't get a picture! (But you get links because I love some people's art (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) and I'd feel too bad about being mean to her)

The show played a lot with my hopes involving her. She appears in one episode only and has no lines. Later on she is mentioned by name by Sansa Stark, a main/POV character who is a friend of hers and who she considers to be more beautiful. After that we never hear of her again.

This could have worked, had the show stayed loyal to the source material.

In the fifth book of the series, it is revealed to the readers that she is being passed off as the daughter of an important House, Arya Stark, so she can marry the future lord Paramount who is a sadistic monster. Her new husband abuses her terribly and while there are a few political factions opposing her husband, who intend on liberating her, this is only because they think she is Arya Stark, since no one would care for her misfortune if they knew who she truly is.

Jeyne Poole, a character who is deemed as "not important of risking your life for" gets someone to risk his life and, more importantly, his skin in order to save her! Not Arya, Jeyne! Theon, former childhood co-habitant now turned into co-victim co-perpetrator, saves her. The show adaptation decided she was not important enough to appear in the story, and replaced her with Sansa Stark, a main character the audience already felt attached to, who was from a nobler house and considered to be more beautiful. Jeyne's plot was given to the girl she sees herself as inferior to in the books. Her plot was deemed important, her impact was deemed important, but Jeyne herself was not.

She is tragic, there is a reason she is here too, but at least in the story she still has a chance at happiness. In the fandom though...yeah, she lost the war, even worst there wasn't a war. Look at the number of fanworks tagged as ASOIAF involving the Sansa-Theon-Ramsay constellation, compare it to the number of fanworks tagged as ASOIAF involving the Jeyne-Theon-Ramsay constellation and you'll find evidence to that. It gets even funnier when the show constellation and plot line stays intact in fanfics, but she is still added in order to transform her back into Sansa's token best friend with no political relevance and no connection to Theon or Ramsay.

The books' author, GRRM, spoke about being upset by the change done on the show, but in truth I don't have many hopes for Jeyne Poole and considering how he is a slow writer and I am very ill person, I doubt I'll get to witness Jeyne P managing to escape this list.

Sorry Jeyne, you weren't doomed, just ditched. Sucks to be you I guess.

Areida

The least tragic in story and development, but still someone who (sadly) deserves to be here.

She is a book character and given how this book doesn't have much of a fandom there isn't any official art of her, but I like these: (1) (2)

Similarly to Jeyne, she suffered in the adaptation, but then again, who doesn't?

Her book counterpart was given a more in depth characterisation. She was an immigrant, came from a poor background, spoke with a strong accent and was described in a manner resembling someone of African ancestry (dark skin, box braids). In the movie it is implied she might be from another country or ethnia, she is played by an Indian actress, but her accent is gone, her hair is straight and we don't get any characterisation or background on her. Her friendship with Ella is downplayed and Ella only starts her quest after being forced to tell her she can't be friends with her anymore and making a xenophobic comment. In the book, Ella parts on her quest so as not to have to obey and break their friendship and that conversation doesn't take place. In the books, Areida's pain matters and it is Ella's unwillingness to hurt her that sends her to search for Lucinda, the fairy who gave her the gift of obedience, so she can remove the curse and won't be forced to ruin her friendship with Areida and cause her more distress. She runs away from finishing school before she can break Areida's heart. And even after their separation, Ella still thinks of Areida with an endearing fondness and tells her future love interest, Prince Char, about her.

In the movie, there is an emphasis in showing Ella's pain and their reconciliation isn't shown, but we are supposed to assume they did have a reconciliation because Areida is seen at Ella and Char's wedding. Areida is reduced to become an unconditional sidekick whose feelings aren't important in the grand scheme of things. We don't see her break down crying after hearing her supposed best friend make a xenophobic comment about her, not how lonely she must have felt afterwards, nor how their conversation once reunited went. She is only Ella's friend, not her own character.

The irony, Ella's quest being triggered by Areida's feelings is turned into Ella's quest being triggered by Ella's feelings because neither the audience, nor the narrative, nor the people making the movie care about Areida's feelings, something the novel has been trying to portray as wrong multiple times.

The adaptation of Ella Enchanted (which I only watched two days ago because of curiosity and oh god why did they whitewash Char??? WHY IS LUCINDA A RACIAL STEREOTYPE???? No wonder my parents didn't let me watch Disney movies! they suck!) was so different from the book that talking about them as one almost feels wrong. Had they gone to claim the book was the inspiration behind this movie, that would have been alright, but as an adaptation, it's quite horrendous. I can understand why they made the changes they made, but given how the movie has overshadowed the book in popular culture, and thus it is Movie!Areida who people might remember, I still have to let her stay here.

So, yeah...I think this is it. It's the irony and the pain behind the irony. Yeah...

[number1villainstan]

13 14 and 15 for the ask game?

13. character that you think is underappreciated by the fandom

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh jesus that's hard. It's RGU, it's a small fandom, SO many characters don't get the love they deserve cause there's simply not enough manpower--

But my (semi) serious answer is Saionji. Or Mikage. I like them both a lot, because they're both a lot like me--Mikage's a heavily neurodivergent-coded gifted-kid-to-burnt-out-adult pipeline victim like I am, and I see a lot of my own anger and frustration in Saionji. With Saionji in particular, I feel like a lot of people in the fandom kinda write him off as just a violent, misogynistic clown, which, to be fair, he is violent and misogynistic (for at least the first half of the show), but to write him off as a clown is to ignore the messages the show sends using and surrounding his character, about how toxic masculinity both is perpetuated by and hurts the 'average man' (<-badly expressed but moving on). But then again, this feeling could just be my biased ass going "HE IS SO ME" and being sad that no one likes him because [list of extremely valid reasons not to like him]. I tend to do that. A lot. In nearly every fandom I'm in.

14. character you wish had more screentime

WAKABA!!!!! ESPECIALLY IN THE SECOND HALF!!! because you KNOW saionji's rejection fucking wrecked her. and you KNOW she's got all of these Complicated Bad Emotions that she's suppressing in order to present herself as a Good Girl/a Good Friend. and like...I know her lack of screentime after her Black Rose duel was kind of on purpose, to drive home the idea that she has Failed To Be Special, but like--god. I know--I KNOW--that she's harboring some serious jealousy of Utena and Anthy. I KNOW that there are so many potential parallels to be drawn between the Wakaba/Utena canon relationship and the Saionji/Touga canon relationship, and between Wakaba and Saionji specifically, I go insane over those parallels (jealousy and low self worth and "you're my best friend and i hate you but i love you but i hate you" and desperately needing to be Special), and I just--I genuinely wish that Wakaba's character was explore more in canon. We got an incredibly enticing peek during the Black Rose arc, but we didn't plumb the depths, and the potential of Wakaba's character is just so *clenches fist*

15. character that you relate to the most

I already said it when answering number 13, but Saionji is the one I think about most (he's angry and too-blunt and confused and forever the laughingstock and he lashes out in ways that just make everything worse for him), and Mikage is one I also relate to a lot (that Shadow Girl play about the monkey-catching robot and loneliness hit HARD) as someone who's AuDHD and was an AP kid in high school and also utterly miserable and isolated in high school, not least because I was trained into Schoolwork Is Number One Priority and I didn't know I had ADHD at the time. (I definitely think Mikage has ADHD and self medicates with coffee and maybe also less-than-legal stimulants. He might also be autistic but he's definitely ADHD.)

the ask game this is referring to is here

[aptericia]

Spinning rose censorship in Utena

[pics are from the gallery at empty movement]

The first time Utena channels the power of Dios, his descent (which gets recycled later) is quite flashy and dramatic. However, we don’t get to see the exact point at which he phases into Utena, due to the stock rose image covering the scene in an extremely out-of-place manner.

The style dissonance, combined with the fact that this exact rose has popped up many times already (in the decorative frames used to introduce characters), makes it look like a budget cut and completely breaks the immersion. It also makes the scene look suspiciously rape-y, almost like it’s a censorship block. It makes the viewers wonder, “What’s happening that we aren’t supposed to see??”

This question is actually used to increase the drama in episode 14, during the first elevator scene. Instead of gently placing the rose on the duelist’s breast like Anthy does, Mamiya stabs Kanae in the heart, and it’s made all the more horrifying by letting us imagine what that would look like.

As far as I remember, these two scenes (along with the end of the duel in the first one) are the only ones that use this conspicuous spinning rose to cover the action. And if you think about it, Utena’s first Dios-ing has a lot of parallels with Kanae’s transformation into a duelist. Both of them are (unwillingly, I might add) granted swordfighting skills, with a ring being the catalyst. Both of them are also being forced into a role they can't play—we know by the end of the show that it’s impossible for someone to be a true prince, just like no person is really pure evil like the Black Rose duelists are. Instead, the characters are temporarily possessed by this “ideal state” because their desires have come close enough to it. However, being humans capable of complexity and change, they can never fully become an abstract concept. And so the spinning rose is used to cover the seams of this false transition.

In the end, I think that scene in episode 2 is supposed to look out of place. We might not realize it for a while, but something very wrong is happening. Utena (being groomed to aspire to a toxic ideal that she can never become) has her body used in a way that, at least this first time, was not intentional on her part. And the implications of that are not pleasant at all.