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cuteandhughesy · 13 days ago

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Under The Mistletoe | John Marino

summary: john can't help but keep his hands off you, resulting in a very scandalous christmas party sneak off.

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a/n: welcome to the 3rd fic of cute and hughesy’s christmas special! this was so fun to write and i’m so excited for you all to read it - let the john girlies feast 🥰 thank you to this request - you are my inspo ✨🎄

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there was something in the air tonight - something besides the warm, comforting smell and sounds of the christmas season. it was a lingering feeling, laced with sultry and sweet undertones, and it was all due to your boyfriend john marino.

you and john met the literal day he'd first come to new jersey following his departure from the penguins. the day started like any normal one for you, which consisted of waking up late and rushing around your tiny apartment to make it to work. you had been not long out of college - graduated with a sports journalism degree- and had landed a job working behind the scenes with the devils administration team.

like every other time you'd get into work, busy with finishing the previous days work on your phone and not paying attention to your surroundings, ran into john - knocking your phone right out of your hand and almost knocking you onto your ass. but like the gentleman you've learned your boyfriend is, he saved you from the embarrassment of falling and grabbed ahold of your arm to prevent the tumble. and like the complete romantic you are, you blushed and instantly developed a crush on the new member of the new jersey devils.

it didn't take long for you and john to start dating - I mean, neither of you were shy about your feelings or intentions with one another. you wanted to date him and he certainly wanted to date you - case closed. your relationship blossomed quickly, and you found yourselves completely and sickly enamoured with one another. your personalities perfectly complemented one another, and so did your values and priorities. it was perfect - is perfect.

you'd quickly fallen into one another's routines and traditions- forming one big and complete circle that you wouldn't trade in for the world. you knew john was your person, so when the trade to utah came, there was no other choice than to go with him.

leaving your parents and friends back in jersey was hard, especially around the holidays, but with john and his sweet and reassuring smile at your side, you've been able to properly prepare yourself for that missing piece of holiday magic you’d left back home.

one of your favourite christmas traditions of hosting a christmas party was something else you'd been upset about missing, and you had been frowning about it since the calendar changed to december 1st. but, in some miraculous fashion, john said the guys on the team were wondering if you and him wanted to host the utah party - and obviously you jumped off the couch and shrieked a yes.

which brings you back to the cinnamon scented kitchen of your and johns utah apartment, adding the finishing cheeses, meats, nuts, crackers and other miscellaneous foods to your wooden santa shaped charcuterie board.

you pull away once you perfectly placed the last green olive, perfectly shaping the olives into a holiday wreath pattern in the middle of the board, and you smile and hum triumphantly.

the house is filled with only the sound of the hum of a new megan moroney christmas song, mixed into your holiday party playlist. nobody has showed their faces yet, but you weren't expecting them until 7 - so that makes sense.

your wipe your hands against one another, saved from rather wiping the crumbs off on your curve hugging trousers. you've paired the black pants with a festive shade top, accompanied with your favourite gold jewelry and snowman socks - because comfort mattered. your smile doesn't falter as you glance at the digital clock on the front of your microwave and- oh shit, it's almost 7.

you feel yourself start to bubble with a hosting panic, frantically double checking all your picky food trays to ensure they looked presentable, and making sure respective drinks were in the fridge - including your white wine that you, as well as marissa kerfoot, preferred chilled.

just then, the sound of johns socked feet pad into the entryway of your shared kitchen. the floor creaks right where you pass into the living room, and the loud noise has you jumping slightly - your anxious adrenaline off the roof.

"looks great babe." johns voice is a soothing hum as he leans against the archway, his gaze overlooking the array of food on your long dining room table.

you pick up the last tray you'd been working on and shuffle over towards the table, placing the santa board in the middle of everything. you knaw your lip anxiously, and look over towards your boyfriend with questioning eyes. "are you sure? not too much?"

john analyzes you quickly and subtly - so much so that you're not even aware that he's assessing your body language. without saying anything yet, john walks over to you with practiced ease, and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you up against his chest gently.

you allow your boyfriend to move you easily, enjoying the domestic peace that always comes with johns presence. your anxiety about wanting to host the perfect holiday party for johns teammates and their significant others subsides as he starts to stroke along your spine with his thumb, and his easy smile comes as beautiful distraction.

"don't stress," john breathes, continuing his rhythmic movements against your back. "everybody is going to be so impressed with your gouda display."

you're still not convinced, and your eyes fall back towards the table as you check over everything for the hundredth time - your boyfriends joke going right over your head. john sighs gently, because he knows once you get into your own head, it can be hard to get you back out.

he leans down and presses a firm kiss to the junction of your neck. johns lips are warm and soft, and the feeling has your eyes fluttering closed with pleasure. he moves farther up your neck, continuing to kiss and gently suck along your scented skin - your vanilla perfume setting comfortably in johns senses.

to further his attempt at what seemingly feels like trying to distract you, johns hands snake down your lower back, passing over the round of your ass before taking a handful of flesh, squeezing you with his long fingers.

which brings you back to the lingering tension through your apartment - the desire and poised touches from john all coming back to you.

john has been very handsy with you all day. which isn't necessarily odd for him, because your boyfriend has always been flirty and touchy with you - but today specifically was amped up to another level. it started in the morning while you were both brushing your teeth and john couldn't help but grind his morning wood into your backside. it continued throughout the morning and into the afternoon, with john always touching you with his hands and/or mouth - your neck, your waist, your thighs, you ass, your tits - anything john could get his grip on, he would.

"think we can fuck quick before people start arriving?" johns words are rushed and muffled against your jawbone in between sloppy kisses. his breathy question has you blushing a deep red, matching the shade of your shirt.

a knock on the door echoes throughout the apartment, followed by the roudy laughter of some of johns teammates - you can even hear the muffled voice of clayton keller telling them all to behave.

you pull away from john. "don't think so."

—

johns wandering hands continued throughout the night, even with an apartment filled with your new friends and teammates - he didn't care and their possible wandering eyes didn't stop john from touching all up on you. anytime you'd step away to prep more food in the kitchen, or make sure everything was still somewhat neat and in an organized manner on the dining table, your boyfriend wasn't far behind you.

as you're crumbling more feta for another bowl of greek salad (a house favourite), john pressed into you from behind, his arms enclosing around your torso as he suckles and nibbles below your jaw.

"you smell so good." john says against your skin, lips tickling along the shell of your ear. you giggle at the feeling, slipping out of his grasp and opening the refrigerator.

"johnny..." you warn him gently, hands enclosing on the head of iceberg lettuce and bringing it out of the fridge. you close the door with your hip before making your way back to john - who is still lingering by your cutting board and empty salad bowl. "you can't do that right now."

it seemed that anytime you'd pass through the archway that separates the hallway from the living space of your apartment - constantly checking everything is neat and organized around your home - john would be there, constantly reminding you that the archway was decorated in a beautiful garland with a dangling display of mistletoe.

john, completely unbothered by his teammates and their wives and girlfriends all around you, wraps his arm around your waist, keeping you from escaping. he waggles his eyebrows down at you, smiling sneakily. "looks like we are under the mistletoe."

you give him a deadpan look. you can't tell if you're annoyed or amused by his constant attempt's at kissing you - but with the faux innocent look on his face combined with his rosy cheeks and glimmering gaze, you're sure it's the latter.

you sigh gently, but pucker your lips at him. it's a silent invitation for your boyfriend, and the sight has his grin deepening. john leans down, connecting your lips in a seemingly innocent peck.

but, you're wrong. john's hand slides up towards your face, grabbing ahold of your warm cheek to keep you in place. his tongue slides along your plump lip, asking for entrance and attempting to deepen the kiss.

someone who sounds like liam o'brien cat calls you from a few feet away, which starts a chain affect in which the rest of johns teammates start hollering at you both. you laugh against johns kiss - which he still hasn't attempted to stop, and gently push off his chest, but not without a playful smack against his peck first, serving as a scold.

you would even catch john watching you from across the room anytime he wasn't attempting to cop a feel. his eyes were darker than usual, and you could see that even with the distance between you - practically undressing you with his eyes while jack mcbain talks about his new dog.

you flick your hand in his direction, a dismissive motion as if you're telling john to stop and pay attention. it has your boyfriends smirk growing, hiding it behind the rim of his can.

you flush deeply, all too familiar with the sultry gaze in johns eyes. you clear your throat, taking a sip of your white wine as you turn your attention back towards some of the ladies, easily sliding back into the conversation about countertops and cabinet colours.

it's not 20 minutes later that your phone alerts you that it's on low battery, and without wanting to risk forgetting to plug it in before falling asleep, you go to plug it in.

you excuse yourself from the group conversation in your kitchen, hovering over the sandwich platter, and slip down the hall - quickly ascending up the small set of stairs that leads to the upstairs hallway. one of the main reasons you and john chose this apartment specifically was because of the size and layout of the place, and you loved how it felt like a mini home rather than a bachelor pad style apartment.

you softly close the door, but don't properly latch it, leaving a small gap of light between the mahogany wood and the matching door frame. you pad towards your side of the bed where the charging cable is dangling over your beside table, and plug the end into your dangerously low phone.

the door clicks shut behind you, and the noise has you jumping in surprise, spinning on your heels quickly to find the source of the sound. you should've known immediately who would've followed you upstairs, the sight of johns seductive, but still boyish grin looking back at you.

with a hand held to your beating chest, you exhale - the sound a mixture of adrenaline and laughter. "jesus, babe. you scared me."

"sorry." he chuckles. the sound of the lock turning is a very faint click in your ears, and immediately you know what he's up to. john moves towards you, his sneaky grin still tugging at his lips, and gently takes your palms in his.

john guides you towards the bed, and once the pit of his knees hit the edge of the plush mattress, he sits down. you stay standing, just watching your boyfriend with an unimpressed quirk to your eyebrow. john's legs spread, and he's immediately pulling you into him further, keeping you close. his fingers trail off your palms and slowly find their way up your legs and hips, settling over the waistband of your pants.

john gently squeezes your torso, right against the seam of the pants, and tucks his bottom lip in between his teeth. his eyes wonder over your body, drinking in every curve, bump, amd fleshy round. "fuck." he breathes the curse, his hands slipping around until he can grab onto your ass, squeezing it firmly. "you look so sexy today."

you squint at him accusingly, "we can't start john - people are here."

johns brows come together tightly. "screw my teammates - I wanna fuck my girl." his words send your stomach into a whirlwind of cartwheels and somersaults, making you feel warm and fuzzy. you flush a deep maroon, and you find yourself mirroring john, taking your lip between your teeth and gently nibbling.

to accentuate his words, john's then lifting the hem of your top up, exposing your belly and the bottom of your wired bra. he leans in and begins to kiss along the expanse of your skin, delicately marking and tickling your sensitive tummy.

you breathe a pleasant hum, letting yourself get lost in the feeling of your boyfriends mouth on you without the constant worry and fear of feeling exposed or getting caught. behind your locked door, it's just you and john with no prying eyes or ears. your hands slide up your boyfriends biceps and up around his shoulders, gripping the strong muscles to keep your knees from buckling.

john's mouth detaches from your stomach, and he rest his chin gently between your boobs, looking up at you with a hopeful and mischievous glint in his eyes. with his thumbs stroking your rib cage, occasionally teasing you by slipping them underneath the wire of your bra and grazing your tits, john quirks his eyebrow in question. "please sweet girl, I can't go another second without sinking into your pussy."

you shutter pleasantly at his words, letting yourself feel the butterflies all over your body flutter around - sending tingles and small shock waves through your system. quickly, your eyes bounce back towards the locked door - making sure nobody was looking for you or john or lingering in the hallway.

nobody is there.

with a reluctant nod, you whisper okay. "we have to be quick though."

johns grin widens. "oh trust me, i've been half hard since you walked out of the closet in these pants - I can't wait to take them off." with his words, john grabs the back of your thighs, pulling you onto the bed. your knees rest against each side of his muscular thighs, effectively straddling him.

the pull in your inner thighs is a slight burning sensation, but it's also so so good. your clothed pussy nestles perfectly on johns hard on, and instinctively you begin to grind against him, your body already searching for that release. john groans, pulling your face back in for a kiss. it's a heated exchange, with a mixture of careless spit and teeth, your lips moving together frantically and knowingly. it's messy and hot - perfectly crafted to further turn you both on.

johns fully hard underneath his jeans, providing the perfect stimulation to your throbbing clit and sticky entrance. you can already feel the wetness pooling in your thin underwear, and so can john, your pants doing nothing at hiding the damp mess leaking through the fabric and transferring to his jeans.

without wanting to wait any longer, john's grasp on your body tightens as he prepares to move you both, flipping you over and onto you back. you squeak at the sudden movement, your lips disconnecting for your boyfriends as you push yourself further up the bed.

john is soon back over you, hovering on top of you heavily. the press is intoxicating, and makes the thrill of the whole thing so much more intense. "I wanna taste you."

you shake your head, breathy as you remind him, "no - we have to be fast."

"I don't care." with that, he tugs your pants down with practiced ease, revealing your bare legs and soaked underwear. john throws your pants behind him, landing somewhere on your bedroom floor - you're sure you'll probably struggle to find them after. "need to taste you."

your thighs part automatically, already anticipating the upcoming actions that your boyfriend is about to perform on your body. john smirks as he settles onto his belly between your legs, and his hands immediately wrap around the backs of your thighs, keeping you spread.

over your wet underwear, john leans down and presses a lingering kiss on your clothed clit. you watch him breathlessly, and your hips buck upwards in search of more friction.

he smirks quickly before going back in, licking a flat strip against the sheer material of your tiny panties, his tongue dragging from your dripping entrance and back up to your swollen clit.

"fuck, johnny please." you whine, fingers carding through his curly hair. you tug his roots as john's tongue swirls over your clit, the combination of your underwear and his tongue providing a rather powerful amount of stimulation.

john let's go of one of your legs in favour of reaching for the seam of your underwear, roughly tugging the string to the side and exposing your glistening pussy fully. your boyfriend audibly groans at the sight of your slick folds and the aroma of your arousal, and he quickly dives back in, his tongue dipping into your entrance to collect your wetness before he firmly licks back upwards to your tingling bundle of nerves.

you borderline scream, and your head falls back into the fluffy pillows as you're no longer able to watch as john eats you out - feeling too fragile to keep yourself up right. he's always been so good at pleasing you with his mouth - knowing the perfect combination of licking, sucking, and teeth that never fails to bring you to the finish line.

against you, john moans and the sound vibrates through you deliciously. when he adds two of his calloused, skillful fingers into the mix, sliding them with ease into your dripping entrance, you just about pass out. you cover your mouth with a shaky hand, muffling the sounds of your mewls - eyes downcast to once again watch john pleasure you.

his eyes flicker up your body, finding your gaze. your pure flushed and blissed expression has him even more turned on, subtly grinding his aching cock into your shared mattress as he continues to hold your thighs open, lapping up your juices and plunging his digits into your hole.

john release your clit with a gentle pop, a thin string of spit mixed with your arousal trailing between his puffy mouth and your pussy. it's all so erotic and sneaky, and the sight has you approaching very quickly to your boiling point. "you 'gunna cum for me sweet girl? can feel you flutterin' around my fingers baby - fuck."

you nod once, "yes - oh my god keep doing that."

john doesn't need to be told twice, and he goes back down on you, suckling on your clit - swirling his tongue and moving it over and around your bundle just the way you need him to. it's not long before you're snapping, clenching down on johns fingers as you cum, dripping onto the bedding as you release rushes out of you.

he hums in satisfaction against you, beginning to slow his stimulation on your throbbing pussy - helping you ride out your high with sweet and comforting movements and kisses against you.

finally, you feel yourself come back to reality, breathing heavily in the quietness of your shared bedroom - nothing but the wet noise of john slipping his fingers out of your heat and the muffled conversation of the party floating up the stairs. "fuck."

john crawls back up your body, his boyish grin pulling at his lips, still glistening with your release. "good?" he questions cockily, one of his brows quirked a knowing raise.

you grin lightly, cheeks flushed. "you know it was."

he licks his bottom lip gently, because he knows he's being cocky - but john also knows that you love it. he leans down, attaching your lips in another hot and bruising kiss. you can taste yourself lingering on his tongue - that slightly sweet but almost salty flavour that john loves so much invading your tastebuds.

you pull away with a smirk. "I wanna ride you. i'm aching for it johnny."

he quirks a brow. "look who's aching now?"

"shut up." you laugh through your scold, gently shoving johns shoulders so he gets off you. contradictory to his words, you can feel his rock hard cock bobbing against your inner thigh, a reminder that he hasn't yet gotten off.

you direct john to slouch back against the padded headboard of your bed, and as he does you pull off your shirt, exposing you completely to john in your empty bedroom. the change of temperature has your nipples hardening further, and it sends signals right down to your pussy. you crawl over to your boyfriend, positioning your knees between his thick thighs as your lean forward on your hands.

you gently suck under his ear - a spot that always has him falling apart. like predicted, he lets out a deep groan, eyes fluttering closed as the sensation runs through his body. you pull back, you lift off his shirt. "gunna sick your dick, 'kay?"

his brows raise in surprise, face blushed as he smirks at your words. "be my guest." john helps you with removing his jeans, pulling them down his muscular thighs until they pool under his knee caps. you're too eager to take them off completely, and you waste no more time, taking ahold of his oozing dick in your closed fist, guiding the head towards your lips. you gently smack his angry red tip against your puffy lips, to which he grunts. "such a tease."

you swirl your tongue around the beating tip a few times, before licking a flat strip over his dripping slit, collecting and tasting the dribble of salty pre-cum. john moans once more, watching through lidded eyes as you take his tip fully into your mouth. it's a sight he'll never get tired of, and he can't help but collecting your hair for you, keeping the curled strands out of your face - for your benefit and his.

slowly, you take his full length into your warm mouth, hallowing out your cheeks to elevate the sucking motion over johns dick. you begin to bob your head, continuing to take his full amount into your mouth as you do. you take breaks from the up and down motion every now and then, switching up the stimulation as you slip him out of your mouth and lick the underside of his dick - tracing veins and further teasing him.

"i'm - fuck - i'm close. need to cum inside you." john gently tugs the base of your roots, pulling you away from his throbbing dick. using his thumb, he wipes the lines of spit from your face, cleaning the mess from your lips and chin. you grin at his sweet action - even if everything else about the situation is dirty.

john mimics your smile. "come up here."

you do has he says, assuming your earlier position of straddling johns spread legs, your knees sinking into the soft mattress beneath you. your core bumps against the still leaking tip of johns dick - standing high and hard, brushing his lower abdomen as he moves. immediately you let your glistening lips slide over his cock, further slicking him up with a mixture of your lingering saliva and arousal.

johns perfectly sized dick feels ridiculously good against your throbbing clit, sliding perfectly between your folds as you rock over him. it has you both moaning, breathless as you continue to grind against his dick. "gunna put it in baby?" john breathes teasingly, "or you need me to take control?"

you don't answer him, but instead lift your hips slightly, creating enough space for you to reach between your legs and take ahold of johns hot and heavy cock. you grip him with expertise, guiding his head to prod against your soaking entrance. and with that, you let yourself slide down his length, your grip automatically releasing as you balance your hands on his chest - lowering yourself onto john.

he curses, hands immediately flying to grip the fleshy sides of your hips, ready to help guide you through your ride. "you're so fucking hot."

"mhmmm - yeah?" your clit presses against johns pubic bone, an added stimulant that already has you feeling worked up and spent. you take your lip into your mouth, biting on the puffy flesh to keep ahold of your grunts.

you begin to move, slowly at first to build up your pace. it's hard to keep a steady pace though when johns dick perfectly hits all your sweet spots - pulling you closer to the edge. "oh god," you mewl, letting your head roll back, "feel so fucking good."

john smirks up at you, clearly pleased with your breathless statement. you look so good, your bare breasts swaying as you grind yourself on his hard cock. your hair is sex messy, giving you that wild and beautiful look he loves so much - your skin glistening with a combination of a sheen of sweat and the shimmery body lotion you'd applied after your shower. john can feel your juices soaking his lower half, matting down his littering of pubic hair to his skin - you're making a mess on him and yourself.

"yeah baby," john encourages, his eyes dancing between your blissful expression and where your bodies are rapidly connecting. "you're doing so good - my good girl." his grip on your hips tighten, guiding you up and down on his cock - switching and helping your momentum.

"shit johnny, i'm gunna cum again." you all but whine, eyes squeezing shut as the pleasure intensifies, warming your belly amd increasing your heart rate. the way john is practically moving you by himself, combined with the movement of his dick sliding in and out of you and your clit smacking against his pelvis has you approaching your second climax.

john doesn't slow down, and if anything he increases the movements. he pulls you closer to him so that your breasts are pushed against his strong, bare chest - stomach's touching. all without stopping the guiding force that has you riding him, john kisses you. "cum on my cock baby."

his whispered and breathless words on your lips are the final push you need, and you release over his throbbing length. you let out a pornographic scream, head falling to johns shoulder as the pleasure completely overtakes your body.

john wraps his arms around your torso and flips you both over, and he's once again hovering over your flushed body. the movement has his dick slipping out of you, and the loss of that full feeling has you whining. "you did so good sweet girl. you gunna give me another one?"

you're too overwhelmed to speak - still dealing with the aftermath of your last orgasm, and processing johns request. you're still so turned on that it's not even funny. all you can muster is a moan and a quick nod and john immediately smirks, leaning down and pressing a sweet kiss to your sweaty hairline.

you breath a smile at the gesture - but as john begins to manhandle your legs, spreading you once again, your smile is taken over by a gentle groan. he pushes your legs towards your chest, and on instinct you grab ahold of the back of your thighs, keeping them in place.

not a second later john is guiding his dick back into your heat, pushing into you fully. it feels like he's splitting you in two with the way he slips into your spent pussy, nestling into your tight and spasming walls deliciously. "shit baby you take my cock so well - you feel what you're doing to me?" john breathes, eyes tranced on the sight of your pussy sucking him in.

his hands push against the back of your thighs, and the shift on your legs allows him to push his length either deeper. you moan, your walls clamping down on john automatically.

john squeezes your thighs between his fingers, beginning to pick up his pace - diving his perfect cock in and out of your slippery entrance. he hits all your sweet spots once again, perfectly moving his length into your weeping pussy. still built up from your last orgasm, your walls begin to flutter around his thrusting member once again, the coil in your stomach ready to snap for the third time.

your boyfriend smirks knowingly at the feeling of your clamping walls, and he looks down at you cockily. "knew you could do it - c'mon sweet girl." john's thumb slips up your folds, landing on your puffy clit and he circles the bundle of nerves tightly.

"yes yes yes yes - don't stop." you plead, desperately close to falling over the edge.

"i'm going to cum." john tells you through a groan, picking up his pace rutting into your heat. with one more pass over your sensitive clit, you cum with a exhausted whine, eyes fluttering closed as stars begin to dance in your vision. "good girl." john praises.

your arousal leaks out of your fucked hole, dripping and trailing down your ass, pooling on the bread spread. john shutters in pleasure at the sight, and with four more sporadic thrusts into you, he cums - hot ropes of his seed shooting into your entrance, coating your walls.

he pushes into you one last time, letting his entire release into you and making sure it doesn't escape. john groans in satisfaction, eyes closing as he basks in the feeling of your walls fluttering around his twitching cock. "holy fuck."

you nod, still catching your breath. without a verbal response from you, john grows concerned, looking towards you with pulled eyebrows. "you okay?"

a smile tugs at your lips, and you nod again. "yeah."

"good," he smiles, "you did so good."

you flush even deeper at his praise - never failing to get flustered from a compliment that comes from your smoking hot boyfriend. john's smirk deepens at the sight of you, and he quickly presses a kiss to your ankle before helping you lower you legs back down.

at that time, john slowly slips out of your pussy, and you both hiss at the loss of the contact. you begin to feel johns seed migrating down your walls, ready to spill from your entrance. "I gotta get up before your cum coats our bedding."

"let it," john kisses your neck once, a firm but yet somehow soft press that has you tingling all the way down to your toes. "you already made a mess - we gotta wash the blanket anyways."

just then, somebody laughs downstairs and the sound of a group of your boyfriends teammates doing a karaoke cover to a justin bieber christmas song is all you can hear. "yeah and we also have a party to get back to."

you watch the recognition flash on johns face as he recounts how your shared apartment is currently filled with his hockey team and their significant others - some of which are probably beginning to wonder where the two of you have gone. "oh yeah."

you laugh, "oh yeah."

you both get dressed again, after you make sure to deal with your business in the en suite. you speed through getting your clothes back on, making sure you both look presentable before heading back to your party. you make john leave before you, claiming you don't want to look suspicious walking down the stairs together - that would definitely give away what the two of you had been up to.

while you wait the few minutes before heading back downstairs, you grab ahold of your phone - now charged and ready to go. the sight of a text from melissa kerfoot lights up your lock screen.

melissa kerfoot

🍆 ????

you blush - so much for secrecy.

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sweetestcaptainhughes · 4 months ago

Text

Can you tell me what hurts? - John Marino

Word Count - 5.5 K

Summary - Always struggling with having a abnormal menstrual cycle, and doctors not seeming to care. It sort of became the norm for you to just not really know what's going on with your body. After meeting John, you were worried if he would get scared with how sick you really got so often and run. Or would he be the one to stick around and try to help you figure out what's wrong?

Warnings - mentions of shitty doctors, a mental breakdown, some minor fighting, mentions of blood but I feel like that's a given, PCOS diagnosis

Author's Note - Thank you for always supporting me. I literally wrote finished this segment today because well life. If you have read the other segments of the 'Let me love you' series then you will know that this one is written in a different style. PCOS is one of those things that affects many different parts of life and so this segment does have more time jumps then I normally write. I just really wanted to do a good job of presenting PCOS as a whole, and not only one part.

let me love you masterlist. main masterlist.

Not having a regular menstrual cycle wasn’t something new to you. Never once in your entire life have you ever had a regular period. Fighting with doctors off and on until you ran out of willpower to try to figure out what was wrong with you. Why were you on birth control since you were a freshman in high school? Why was it if you let your body get off the medication you wouldn’t have a period for an entire year? Why would the pain from your natural period put you in the fetal position on your coach? Why was it so hard to lose weight compared to others? Why did you grow body hair three times as fast as others? And why did no one else seem to give a fuck to run the proper tests?

Fighting with doctors since you were fifteen you ran out of willpower to fight, what was the point. Both of you knew that you had PCOS but they were too scared to diagnose someone so young with it. They didn’t want to have to tell a 19 year old at the time that you might struggle to have kids one day. So you did what you were told, you took birth control and every year like clockwork when your body becomes used to the drug, and your period wouldn’t stop for a month you would change your medicine and start the endless cycle over again.

Meeting John in your mid-20’s, he had no idea that you struggled almost fighting your body every month. Even if you didn’t have your period you still had the side effects of birth control. Whether in pain from the medicine or crying out of frustration that you were deemed to take a pill for the rest of your life and no one seemed to care to figure out what was actually wrong with you. John still doesn’t know that your body seems to hate you not being able to regulate your own period. Both of you have only been seeing each other for about 6 months. He knew you were on the pill, and you both have been tested and have been having unprotected sex. But he doesn’t know that about once a year your body becomes a crime scene constantly covered in blood, not being able to have a maxi pad on for more than 30 minutes at a time. Although your body doesn’t seem to have any routine, the one thing it has down is when your body becomes used to the brand of birth control you’re on. Every November, your period came and it didn’t stop until after labor day, sometimes the first week of October depending when it came. As each day passed your stomach started to hurt more and more not sure if it was cramps warning you of what’s coming, or your one anxiety in the fact you were about to enter a month of hell and possibly a few ER trips before you could get in to your gynecologist.

Sadly it was the first as you went to the bathroom to find that your period had indeed started. Sighing to yourself you reached under your sink and grabbed out a maxi pad and put it on. After you’re done using the bathroom, you go to the kitchen and grab some Advil and take 3 hoping it does something to ease the pain you felt. Cursing to yourself as you remembered that you had a date planned with John tonight to go to the movies. No longer feeling like leaving your apartment you decide to call him to cancel, and of course he picks up on the first ring.

“Hey baby I was just about to leave my place.” sounding rushed.

“Yeah about that..” taking a deep breath, feeling terrible about canceling but knowing that if you forced yourself to do too much now no way would you be able to last your usual month of hell.

Johnny softly asks “What’s wrong y/n/n” it’s clear in his voice that his own anxieties are rising and you officially feel like a piece of shit girlfriend for canceling so last minute and not being able to be one of those girls who can just push through having their period.

Closing your eyes as tight as they go, and gripping your uterus with your free hand you sigh loudly on the phone. “Johnny.” barely above a whisper. “I don’t feel so good.” trying to get the message across that you feel like absolute shit without having to tell him that your period from hell has arrived.

“Are you sick honey? Do you need me to pick something up from the pharmacy? Can you tell me what hurts? So I can get the right medicine baby.” It’s easy to hear the shuffling in the background, knowing that he is probably slipping on his shoes now to leave.

“It’s not that kind of sick Johnny.” you shyly admit. “I’m just on my period.” you whisper as you hear Johnny no longer making any sounds on the phone.

“Okay well, I am still coming over.” he decided.

“Johnny you don’t have-”

“No, I planned to go to the movies with my girl, so the movies will just have to come to her place instead. Are you craving anything baby? I can stop at the grocery store, do you need anything? I read somewhere once that a heating pad helps. Do you have one?” firing off his questions in seconds, it was sweet but overwhelming a little having someone care so much.

“I don’t have any cravings, get whatever you want and yes I have a heating pad, but it’s too far away and I’m being lazy.” you softly chuckle your confession.

“I can instacart snacks I’ll come straight over.” Suddenly you hear the door to his car close. “And before you protest you are in pain Y/N and you won’t grab your own heating pad that will help you so I will.” He hangs up the phone before you can even open your mouth. John spends the night with you, showering you with love, he does make faces of discomfort when you make a face that you're in pain. But he doesn’t say anything, you told him you're fine, nothing out of the ordinary. Which it wasn’t for you when you got your period. John was so sweet and caring the entire night it really did make you like him even more than you already did. Maybe even fall a little more in love with him, even though it was too early in your relationship to say the “L” word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks have gone by and your period hasn’t lighted up, if anything it has only gotten worse. Thankfully Johnny has been very involved with hockey the past two weeks that when you are together, you're at least able to hide the frequent trips to the bathroom, or popping Advil like it’s candy. But tonight John asked to spend the night and as much as you missed your boyfriend you really didn’t wanna admit to him that you’ve been sleeping with a towel under you because you don’t want to ruin another pair of expensive sheets or worse get a stain on your mattress. When you tried to make excuses that you had an early morning tomorrow, he said he didn’t mind waking up with you. When you tried to say that your apartment was messy, he said it couldn’t be as bad as last week when he went to Luke’s apartment since Jack has been in Michigan recovering from shoulder surgery. When you said you didn’t have any food in the house, he asked when that’s stopped you both before from ordering in, and that he will wake up even earlier to go to your favorite bakery tomorrow. Honestly you couldn’t think of any more excuses so you reductively decided to let him come spend the night with you.

As soon as you got home from work, you took a much needed shower and changed into some sweats. Deciding to attempt to clean your much neglected kitchen since you have been feeling like absolute shit. Starting with the dishes you loaded the dishwasher, and cleaned by hand all your pans. Wiping down all the counters, and doing a quick mop of the small kitchen floor you started to feel better.

Just as you were dropping the water into the sink and putting the mop away, John buzzes to get into your building. Walking over and letting him up, you speak into the mic to let him know your door is open. Deciding that you're suddenly feeling lightheaded probably because your iron levels are starting to be affected. Trying to make it to the coach, you almost make it when John walks in locking the door behind him.

“Hey I went ahead and picked up-” stopping mid-sentence when he notices you sitting on the coach hunched over in pain. “Baby what's wrong?” he asks, sliding his shoes off, slowly making his way over to you.

Sitting up you put the best fake smile you can muster. You say “nothing just needed to stretch out my back is all.” Feeling terrible about lying but you also would have felt more uncomfortable telling John who you’ve only been seeing for six months about your menstrual problems.

“Okay” although you know he doesn’t believe you, but you’re thankful he’s letting it go at the moment.

You have never been more thankful that John said he was tired after practice and rather not leave the coziness of your apartment. Deciding on a movie, both of you were cuddled up together on the coach, you only have to pay attention trying to put some pressure on your uterus so it wouldn’t hurt so bad. Now John was only half paying attention because everytime you shifted to try and lessen your pain level, you subtly rubbed against his dick and now he was starting to have what was a semi into a fully hardened dick. Feeling another cramp coming you shifted your body again trying to ease the pain. But before you could, John's hands stopped your hips, his mouth going to the side of your cheekbone. “Baby if you don't stop moving I think my dick might get permanent damage.” he whines, as he leaves little open kisses down your face.

“Oh sorry” you blush trying not to not to move your hips too much.

“Or we could let it happen.” As he starts leaving little kisses starting at your temple and then going below your ear, his hand going under your hoodie, inching closer and closer to your waistband.

“Johnny I can’t” squeezing your eyes shut as hard as they possibly can until you see stars because you really didn’t wanna have to tell him this now.

“okay.” laying back down against the couch. John would never push you if you weren’t in the mood but you could tell by the tone of his voice that he was confused.

“I'm still on my period.” you shyly admit.

Sitting up more now as if his brain is doing the math, “wait didn’t you have your period like two weeks ago?” he questioned.

“yeah.” Turning your back now to face him better.

“Baby is it supposed to last that long?” he rhetorically asks. All you do is look down at your hands and he gives a knowing tone. “Baby, are you okay?” he asks gently, trying to hold you in the awkward way you're half laying down, half sitting down on the coach.

“Yeah this just happens sometimes. I made an appointment with my doctor, okay.” you mumble, obviously wanting to drop the conversation and your thankful thank John lets both of you focus back on the movie.

As the movie continues you couldn’t help squirming a little, as your back started arguing and your body suddenly felt even more fatigued probably from the low iron levels. Knowing that you should probably get some nuts or something from the kitchen. But all you can do is wince in pain, as it feels like someone is holding a sharp knife inside your stomach and every time you attempt to turn they twist the knife to cause more pain.

“Baby?” You can hear John’s voice but you can’t process him speaking to you and breathing through the pain. Finally the pain subsides and you answer a very frantic looking John.

“Yeah.” answering a little more weakly than you would have liked.

“Can you tell me what hurts baby?” His brown eyes look so soft, full of care and also worry for you. His arms are going under your hoodie to attempt to deeply rub your stomach. His care made you want to cry because how can this boy be so caring.

“Nothing, just my stomach. And I think my iron levels are low.” attempting to softly smile at your caring boyfriend but the worrisome look he’s giving you back, your smile must have looked more like you were in pain.

“What do you need? Do you need to go to the hospital? Do you want me to grab your heating pad for the pain? You should probably be drinking more fluids love, can I get you some water?” generally asking.

“No, they aren’t gonna do anything. I have some painkillers in the kitchen and some nuts that should help with my iron levels. If you want my heating pad on my bed but you don’t have to, I can get up and grab it and the nuts.” As you go to get up, he gently places you back on the couch.

“You must be really sick if you think I’m letting you leave this coach.” He says, leaving a kiss on your cheek and half climbing over you, half pushing you off of him.

“What am I supposed to do when I need to go to the bathroom?” you yell to him as he disappears to go into the kitchen.

“We will cross that bridge when we get to it.” He yells back in between the slamming of a ton of cabinets trying to find what he was looking for.

A small chuckle leaves your lips at how demanding John is that you need to stay on the coach. “Johnny, we're gonna get to that point in a few minutes.” you tease him, although you are getting to that point where you need to change your pad.

“Okay baby hold on.” He comes back with every single type of nut that you had in the cabinet; peanuts, mixed nuts, cashews, even peanut butter and a giant glass of ice water. Putting everything on your coffee table.

He bent down so his eyes were on the same level as yours and he didn’t tower over you as you laid on your side on the coach. “Do you wanna go to the bathroom now or do you want me to go grab the heating pad and we can cuddle?” he softly asked, as his hand went to your hip and squeezed it while he waited for your answer.

“Bathroom.” you whisper, slowly making your way to sitting up again.

“Okay will you please eat something first to help your lightheadedness, I don’t want you to pass out or something.” biting his lips is a nervous habit he picked up years ago back in his prep school years, a clear sign that he was having anxious thoughts due to your physical state.

Now fully sitting up, you nodded your head no. “Johnny, I need to go to the bathroom.” your stern voice leaving no room for debate. John only let out a sigh as he turned around on the balls of his feet, now his back facing you.

“Hop on baby.” he says he turns his head to try to make eye contact with you still at this odd angle.

“What?” letting out a breath that could have passed for a giggle and a sigh mixed together. “I can walk Johnny.”

“Baby please.” almost sounding like a whine. He continued softly “please let me take care of you.” he begged.

“Okay.” Putting either leg on Johnny’s he stood up, walking you to the master bathroom. Softly he placed you on your feet when you got there. Quickly leaving so you could use the bathroom. Once you were done everything you needed to, you were leaving the bathroom, expecting to make it back to the living room where you expected John to be.

But instead as you opened the bathroom door, you saw that John put all the nuts he got earlier, and your glass of water on a tray and it was now sitting on your bedside table on your side of the bed. He was currently turning on your heating pad for you, his back turned to you.

Out of pure shock at how he was acting you gasped, it was enough for him to turn around in a second, practically leaping towards you asking “baby please can you tell me what hurts?” His arms closing around you pulling you towards him.

“Nothing” you whispered. “Nothing at all. I just have never had someone care this much is all.” Holding onto him as tight as you could to attempt to share how grateful you were for your boyfriend.

“Well get used to it.” he whispered in your ear, gently lifting you up and carrying you to the bed. “Please eat some nuts, and if you feel any worse I am taking you to the hospital.”

“John, they aren’t going to do anything.” Not trying to pick a fight with him, but rather tell him what you already knew, even if your tone came out sounding a little condescending.

“You don't do that Y/N.” he tried to counter argue but all you did was bring your hand to your face and pinch the skin on the bridge of your nose, trying to rub off the frustration that was starting to build up again.

“Yes I do.” Slightly raising your voice, despite the fact that John was sitting right next to you on the edge of the bed. “This happens every single year okay. My body gets used to my birth control, I sometimes end up in the ER, occasionally for a blood transfusion an-” Johnny cuts you off before you can even finish the ‘and.’

“A WHAT?” His voice is much louder than it has been all night. “We are going to the ER, you are weak and lightheaded, and your period has been here for two weeks. What's that 14 days, you need medical attention.”

A sigh leaves your lips as you explain to your very caring boyfriend again how they aren’t going to do anything. “Okay I only needed a transfusion once, and I usually don’t go to the ER till I hit 30 days okay. And it’s not like they give me medicine to stop it. I have to go to my doctor for that, but she’s booked up for a few weeks. It’ll be fine.” Trying to reach for him not sure if it’s to bring him comfort or yourself. “ Johnny, will you come lay with me?” Seeing his beautiful brown eyes soften. “Please” you beg, knowing you probably sound pathetic but you didn’t know if he was mad at you, thinking he could be because you said no to the hospital, still navigating the dynamics of your almost 7 month relationship.

Nodding his head, he finally slips his shoes off not having time earlier he just realized due to worrying about you. He climbs over, turns on his side facing you and brings his hand to your cheek as you face him.

“Hi” he whispers. “better y/n/n?” as he still lays over the covers.

“I wish you could get closer.” you shyly admit.

“What? Do you wanna lay on top of me baby all you had to do was ask.” Kissing you gently and pulling you on top of him.

“No I can’t.” trying to get off of him.

“What do you want Y/N” sounding confused but also sighing, probably getting a little frustrated at the scatteredness of your mind tonight.

“I wanna lay on top of you, but I-.” Taking a deep breath you deepen your face into his shoulder. As quiet as a mouse you spoke, “I’m scared of bleeding through my pad during the night. I don’t wanna get blood on you.”

“It’s okay baby girl.”

“No it’s not.” speaking at a normal tone.

“Y/N. I am telling you that it’s okay, if you want we can use the towel I saw when I was turning your heating pad on.”

“You saw that.” Almost sounding like you were close to tears, you face now in his neck, too scared to pull away because he would definitely see the embarrassment written all over your face.

“Hey hey shh honey.” wrapping his arms around you, bringing you comfort for the first time since you exited your bathroom. “Please just let me love you for tonight.” he confessed as he attempted to kiss as if your face wasn't hiding. Shaking your head, yes that’s exactly what he did, turning off your heating pad. He spent the night whispering random little stories into your ear until you fell asleep, John not far behind you as the tiredness of the day lured him to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally today was the day of your doctor’s appointment with your gynecologist. Sadly, it had gotten to the point where you had to call out of work yesterday, because you felt so weak. It felt as if your body was rejecting you, the blood clots that were passing were huge and you felt sick to your stomach. Johnny has been staying at your place for the last week because “ I can’t leave you alone when you're like this Y/N.” So he just came home from morning skate to find you still curled in bed, half consciousness, craving sleep that just wasn’t coming. He practically shoved the phone in your hand to call out. Thankfully you had taken today off because of your appointment because there was no way you would have made it into work today. Slowly getting up to eat something and take a shower before you had to leave, surprised to open your bedroom door and hear the T.V in the living room softly playing along with what smelt like breakfast. Finally begrudgingly making your way into your kitchen you were shocked to see Johnny at the stove making breakfast.

“Johnny, I thought you had practice.” as you softly pad your feet over to him wrapping your arms around his bare stomach, resting your head on the back of his shoulder blade.

“I did but your appointment is today.” Speaking in a confident tone, like he didn’t need to be anywhere else.

“okay..” Questioning your boyfriend's logic but before you could ask any questions he turns around and responds.

“Listen you have been feeling like actual shit for weeks and I wanna support you by being there. Plus I don’t want you driving after yesterday.” Speaking in a comforting tone, it made you want to cry because you’ve never had someone care so much about why your menstrual cycle was so out of whack.

“Okay.”

“Oh okay go sit down baby. I made you breakfast.” excited about his creation even though you couldn’t see it. “I woke up early today, to read about foods that are high in iron to help you before we find out what’s wrong. So I had eggs and then I had a spinach salad. And before you start, just eat some of the salad baby. I know you hate raw spinach but I made a dressing that’s supposed to be good and-” Finally looking over to you with your plate in his hand to see tears in your eyes.

“Oh no babes.” Rushing over to where you were sitting on the bar, abandoning both plates of food in the kitchen. Carefully taking the pads of his thumbs to rub comforting circles on your cheeks and wipe any tears. “baby can you tell me what hurts?” The worry in his eyes so evident as he looked down at you.

“Nothing.” you choke out, pulling John closer to you to almost standing between your legs as you sit in the breakfast bar chair.

“Y/N/N I can’t fix ‘nothing.” softly chuckling, he whispered the next words so soft you barely heard him. “Why are you crying honey?”

Finally removing yourself in the comfort of his chest, “ it’s just no one has ever cared like you before.” Looking up at him.

“Well you better get used to it baby girl. Cause I’m gonna be here until you don’t want me anymore which I pray never happens.” Both of you share a soft smile, as he glances at your lips and gently leans in to share a gentle kiss.

John stayed with you the entire day, even at the doctor's office holding your hand as the doctor was explaining how the ultrasound worked to see if you did have any cysts on your ovaries. The doctor was in the middle of asking him to step out so they could do the test, but you just tighten in his grip. “I am not leaving unless Y/N wants me to.” he states.

“I want him to stay please.” your voice shaking from the level of anxiety you felt in the pit in your stomach. “Please Dr. Smith” your eyes pleading with the middle age white woman.

“Okay Y/N. The tech will be in any minute okay.” softly speaking trying not to raise your anxiety any higher. John held your hand the entire internal ultrasound whispering in your ear how proud you were doing, even though it was definitely adding to the pain you felt. He held your hand the entire way home. He didn’t say a word, just kept rubbing his thumb over your hand. All you did was stare out the window, your mind replaying the words of your doctor.

“Well as you know Y/N this could be a couple of different things, you could have PCOS - now what kind we would have to figure out. You could have some other type of hormonal disorder and I can recommend you to a hormonal doctor. But either way Y/N I am going to be honest, based on your previous scans and bloodwork it will be very hard for you to have children one day.” Her eyes went soft out of compassion but all you could think about was how compassionate could they be when you were probably the 100th woman she ever told this to.

“What’s the percent?” you whisper, your eyes reducing to look at John. Your relationship many be new but you didn’t want anyone else but him and you knew he wanted children.

“It’s hard to say, we will have to wait for new scans to come in.” Dr. Smith says, as she stadn to exit the room.

Now in the car staring at the window you let the tears fall, you might have never known if you ever wanted kids before John. But once you met him, you knew you wanted to and the fact that something that you might not have even wanted until a few months ago may never be a possibility makes your silent tears turn into a sob as John parks the car in your apartment’s underground parking garage. He turns off his car, as he buckles his seatbelt and turns to you. But you refuse to look at him, you didn’t want comfort from the man whose dreams of becoming a father you might have just shattered.

“Y/N.” you could hear John’s scared begging voice, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to turn to him. “Y/N please don’t shut me out.” he whispered, his voice strained with pain that was the final straw that broke you turning your head. John’s head was leaning against the headrest as he looked at you, his brown eyes even darker filled with emotion. After a few minutes of you refusing to speak to him, he asked you a simple question. “Baby do you trust me?” as he leaned closer to you, as if he was on the edge of his seat. Shaking your head, yes, it was as if your body moved in an instant. Struggling to see through your tears, all you could feel was John unbuckle your seatbelt and pull you over the middle console, pushing his seat back as far as it went. Somehow you fit in the small space that was left in his lap. Both of you lost track of time, but eventually you calmed down playing with the strings of John’s hoodie, as he put one of his hands under the back of your shirt drawing random shapes on your skin.

“Hey Johnny?” Finally feeling like you can speak despite the rawness of your voice and the scratchiness of your throat.

“Yeah baby?” he whispers, scared that if his voice goes above a whisper you will start pulling away from him like a few minutes ago.

“Please don’t leave me.” Putting your face as deep as it goes in the crock of his neck.

“What?” he breaths out. “Why would you even think that?” His hands suddenly squeeze you tighter, almost as if he started becoming scared that if his grip on you wasn’t tight you would slip through his fingers.

“I can’t be a mom and you wanna be a dad.” Although the logic made perfect sense in your brain all John could do at your confession is scrunch his eyebrows together.

“Again what?” His hand that was resting on your thigh moving you guided your face to look at him.

“You really wanna have kids one day but you heard the doctor what if I can’t.” you admit your fear and all it does is give you more anxiety as you await an answer from John.

“Baby is that why you’re upset?” A big smile breaking out on his face, his toothless grin as you nod your head yes. “Baby I have always said I wanted KIDS with YOU. I didn’t even have kids on the radar until that family skate where I saw you with all my teammates kids’. I never even thought about and the idea of leaving you fuck no.” Both his heads going to hold your face.

“And baby I am pretty sure I said I wanted to have kids one day with you. If we have trouble getting pregant we can do IVF okay. And if that doesn’t work we can adopt I don’t care if our children are biologically ours or not. I just wanna raise kids with you ONE DAY, not today.” John finishes his speech and all you can do is say okay and as you crash your lips in a kiss as a thank you to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Few Weeks later…..

John held your hand the entire time in the waiting room while your doctor read your results, he practically held you when you went back to the room for the results of your updated bloodwork and ultrasound. The nerves of what was the possible next step was getting to you, you couldn’t stop your leg from shaking. John gently put the palm of his hand on your knee as a gentle reminder that you aren’t alone in this.

Eventually Dr.Smith walked in, she told you that it was very obvious through your ultrasound that you had PCOS and she found it odd that no one had diagnosed you up to this point. She did tell you that unfortunately there was no cure which you already knew. She spent the next 30 minutes in your room, not answering your questions but John’s. When she told John that a Mediterranean diet was best for women with PCOS he immediately went to Amazon. He lightly demanded that Dr.Smith tell him which cookbooks were the best and from that moment on you didn’t really cook. John always cooked for you or with you, he even changed to a mediterranean diet. Johnny would always make sure he had made plenty of meals that you could easily heat up, or dinners that he froze that you could eat when he was on long roadies.

Johnny always took care of you, of your intense cycles, crazy mood swings, special diet, working out with you. Although he stopped when he realized you couldn’t stop undressing him with your eyes. Johnny was with you the entire way, you felt relief not only because you had a name for what was happening to you. But because you had a support system within John for the crazy rollercoaster that you were on due to having PCOS.

Every single day, you find yourself being even more grateful for listening to Johnny all those weeks ago when he asked you if you would just “let me love you.”

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