#utah beer fan

[larsnicklas]

hockey writing appreciation club part iii (part i here, part ii here) hi everyone!! you know what time it is! i've collected another handful (and then some) articles i've really enjoyed over the past few weeks! support good writing, support good sports journalism — with clicks and with subscriptions if that's in your ability/inclination! hope you enjoy some of these; my particular favorites in this batch are the pius suter piece and the coyotes story. as always, i welcome recommendations if you have them!!

remember that a "🔒" implies a paywalled article, but this is often easily worked around by entering your browser's "reader mode"!

NHL graybeards still find ways to make major impact In most any other field, Pavelski, at 39, would be viewed as someone who has much of his career ahead of him. If he were named CEO of a company, he'd be on a "40 under 40" list or might be talked about as the next great innovator. But when it comes to hockey and other pro sports? There's a belief that being 30 -- let alone 35 or 40 -- and still productive is something just short of a miracle. And for the record, Pavelski said he has not found a gray hair.

The Cyclist: Pius Suter’s clinching goal and the secret behind Canucks’ success 🔒 Although Suter still drives to games, he goes about town mostly on his bicycle. Most days, he cycles into practice on a racing bike with narrow tires; he did so even during massive February snow storms, to the amusement of his teammates, support staff and management. “It’s Canada,” Suter said, “you’d think they’d clear the roads! At least, I did. “Honestly, it feels like home. I played in Zurich, biked always to practice and games and I love not having to use the car.”

Marie-Philip Poulin and the PWHL have yet another landmark moment: ‘It’s a movement’ 🔒 But the building was still mostly empty, and still, for Marie-Philip Poulin, a living legend, this was a lot to take in. She skated over to the bench for an interview with the arena hostess that would go live in the building, and the first question was about how she felt in this moment, in this environment, on this stage, about to play a professional hockey game in her native Quebec in front of this many people. In front of this many of her people.

What really happens during NHL intermissions? The naked truth 🔒 When the clock strikes zero at the end of each period, we watch the teams filter off the ice, down a tunnel and into their respective locker rooms. But what’s really going on back there while we hit the restroom, maybe grab a $14 beer and $7.50 hot dog?

Inside the Coyotes' stunning move from Arizona to Utah In April, Smith posted to X asking fans for team name suggestions should the NHL ever come to Utah. That was a huge tell to the hockey world: This was happening. But back in Arizona, players and coaches were still in the dark. For all they knew, there was a plan in motion that would keep them in Phoenix. What they didn't know was how little faith the NHL had in it being executed by this ownership group, and how badly it wanted the Coyotes out of Mullett Arena.

What makes Macklin Celebrini the next big thing in hockey On a Saturday night in January 2023, the Golden State Warriors had an off night in Chicago. Draymond Green didn't want to go to dinner or out on the town. He had another idea: going to the suburbs to watch junior hockey. "​​How often do you get an opportunity to see Sidney Crosby at 17?" Green reasoned. The next big thing in hockey is Macklin Celebrini, the unanimous No. 1 prospect of the 2024 NHL draft class. Celebrini is also the son of Rick Celebrini, the Warriors vice president of player health and performance.

Pursuit of perfection drives Kucherov's intense summer training If you walk through the sliding glass doors and into the lobby of TGH Ice Plex on a weekday morning, it's quiet. You may find a staff member answering a call at the front desk or spot an employee from the pro shop carrying cardboard boxes filled with equipment. That's about it. But if you walk to the right and peek out to the south rink, you'll probably find Nikita Kucherov.

How use of analytics is part of Colorado Avalanche’s secret sauce: “Numbers are unemotional” One of the key aspects of how Bednar and his staff help the players connect with and absorb the data is not the numbers themselves. Most players aren’t going to care if tonight’s opponent is creating X shots in the slot area on the power play per game, or Y shots from the right faceoff circle. But tell them a team is fourth in the league in one category or 30th in another — and then supplement it with video clips — and the information hits home.

What are NHL series supervisors? How unseen officials help teams, league coordinate during playoffs 🔒 The supervisors travel as the series shifts cities. They are there whenever the clubs need to meet. The other important part of their job is meeting with referees and linesmen, who rotate from series to series. Supervisors fill them in on what’s been happening in the series — what the temperature of it is, the issues each club has raised in meetings, etc. That gives the refs a sense going in of what to look for that night in the game.

Connor Bedard's first season has lived up to expectations When the 18-year-old's jaw broke, everything he had been building for was cruelly interrupted. "It's not fun not to play," Bedard said. "I was dying to get back." One week after surgery to repair his fractured jaw, Bedard convinced trainers to allow him to skate. Solid foods were out, so he drank as many soups, smoothies and supplements as his body would allow, desperate not to lose weight.

[puckgoss]

not tea but tbh i don’t want the yotes to go to SLC. i don’t follow them but i think they just need help in az and moving them to another stadium not ready for hockey won’t help. also i wonder about the cultural impacts of that….marketing hockey to mormons? no hate to mormons but i don’t think that would make hockey more welcoming 🫠

yeaaahhh i mean i think hockey belongs in the desert and i'd love the yotes to stay there but... the NHLPA has been kicking up a huge fuss about the state of the arena, the locker rooms, the lack of professionalism the players have to deal with... if they get another arena built it's not going to be for 5+ years, and that was just too long for the NHL & NHLPA to wait. i can't say i disagree with that.

however, alex meruelo is an idiot and a con artist and is one of a long line of incompetent coyotes owners... like he wasn't even paying their hotel bills this szn until all the hotels banded together and forced him to pay w a check up front... he's been spending as little money on this franchise as possible, lying to his staff and players and the fans, and is now getting a huge pay day out if it... it's sick (derogatory)

it's rly sad bc hockey has clearly been successful there at a grassroots level - one of the best active players is from there (matthews), and the fans are clearly passionate as they've stuck with the team through decades of incompetence and bullshit. the nhl and the owners they trusted to take care of this franchise really fucked up and it's really sad to watch this go down.

in terms of SLC - i'm skeptical but i think it can work. yes there's a lot of mormons there ofc but it is genuinely a growing tech hub. i know of more than a few people in my circles who have moved there recently bc they can work for a local tech company/work remote/have access to big city amenities/have access to nature - skiing, mountain biking, hiking, etc.

this ryan smith dude seems like a bit of a weirdo. in general i don't trust wealthy culty tech bros (elon musk, anyone?) but he has a track record of purchasing and investing in a pro sports franchise (although purportedly the team hasn't been good underneath him - their STH base is strong). they are going to start off playing in an arena built for basketball, but they have a proper NHL-worthy arena on the way - with full local & state backing from both public and private sectors. they are already 10 steps ahead of arizona with regards to that, and that was one of the most important pieces to the NHLPA.

i do wonder how this is gonna work considering the strict alcohol and gambling laws in utah. sports betting is literally illegal there lol. i think one of the reasons vegas has done so well (besides the team just winning right off the bat, etc) is bc vegas has a party/entertainment culture... and when done right, the NHL is perfect for that. genuinely one of my fave things to do is go watch my local team, drink some beers, and soak in the atmosphere in the crowd. it's so fun. will require some major buy in from the growing corporate/tech crowd in SLC but as i said lots of younger people are moving there from other places so. we'll see how it goes.

they are getting a team with a ton of great young players and prospects (i do think some of the older players will request trades) and the owner seems willing to spend money and make a splash in free agency. if they get it right i think it can go really well.

i feel so, so bad for yotes fans who have lived through this long rebuild and are now having to watch their young players & prospects they were so excited for, grow and develop for a different city. it really sucks.

[pearlwestbrook]

Welcome to Aurora Bay, PEARL WESTBROOK! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like GRACE VAN PATTEN. You must be the TWENTY-SEVEN year old EMPLOYEE AT THE MOVIE HOUSE THEATER. Word is you’re SAVVY but can also be a bit MALICIOUS and your favorite song is SAME by DEB NEVER. I also heard you’ll be staying in OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS. I’m sure you’ll love it!

STATS.

Full Name: Pearl Odette Westbrook Nickname(s): Rabbit (by anyone who knew her when she was younger) Gender: Cis woman, she/her Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Birthday: October 30, 1995 (27) Religion: None Nationality: American Ethnicity: White Hometown: Palmdale, California Current Residence: Ocean Crest Apartments Length of time in Aurora Bay: 7 years Occupation: Employee at the Movie House Theater Education: Three semesters of community college

Height: 5′6 Tattoos: "Thank you and sweet dreams" in Jeff Buckley's handwriting on her upper left ribcage Piercings: Two in her left lobe, three in her right lobe, right nipple Scars: (tba)

Mother: Helena Westbrook Baker (48) Father: Kristoff Mack (55) Step-Father: George Baker (56) Siblings: Stevie Mack (half-sibling) Pet(s): A mean ass Calico cat called Mrs. Washburn, named after her mean ass seventh grade math teacher

PERSONALITY.

Pos. Traits: Savvy, quick-witted, perceptive, self-sufficient, intelligent Neg. Traits: Reckless, mercurial, sarcastic, pretentious, indecisive, self-indulgent, malicious Likes: Experimental cinema, lacy underwear, fashion, Indian food, weed, cigarettes, making people she doesn't like feel bad about themselves, telling lies for no reason, putting ketchup in her macaroni, Jeff Buckley, sex, dark beers, black metal, calzones, her cat, anything that gets her blood going, talking to strangers Dislikes: Sports, most poetry, modern interior design, minimalism, Star Wars, YouTubers, school, working a regular job, her family, philosophy, organized religion, feeling dependent on other people, standup comedy Fears: Having no direction in life, disappointing people, being abandoned

TL;DR.

Pearl's mother — one of nine kids and whose father had two wives — ran away from home at 17, got knocked up by a man who was part of a cult-like religious organization in Provo, Utah, that she met at the strip club where she worked, and then got ghosted by him. She left Utah, went west, and had Pearl in Palmdale, California. Her mother went back to stripping when she was very young and often left her alone and to fend for herself, and then, when Pearl was in her early teens, married the owner of the strip joint, who also happened to be a drug trafficker. When she was 17 he started trying to get Pearl to strip at his club and that was the last straw. She left home at 18 after graduating high school and ended up in Aurora Bay with a roommate a few years later. She tried community college but hated it and works at the movie house theater now.

CURRENT CONNECTIONS.

unknown half-sibling of @mackstevie

enemies to besties with @helenasoarcs

toxic undefined relo with @ulyflynn

frenemies with benefits of @rominacortez

casual hookup of @jake-hudson

unwilling victim of attempted parenting with @cristian-valdes

fan of and friends with @amayapowers

casual enemies and 2am deep convos with @carterjohnsons

golden retriever/black cat energy with @greengideon

mutually destructive friendship with @xaviermattthews

bad influence on @liamburkes

HEADCANONS.

Finds it hilarious that her initials are POW and calls herself a prisoner of war

She got the nickname rabbit partly bc of her full cheeks but also bc she'll chow down on carrot sticks like a rodent, only people who knew her when she was younger wld know the nickname

Doesn't actually like the taste of cigarettes but is fully addicted

Despises weed culture and will stop listening when someone tries telling her about strains

tba

BIOGRAPHY.

**trigger warnings for parental abuse and neglect, allusion to homelessness, mention of religious extremism, drug trafficking, alcoholism

Helena Foughner's mother was one of Josiah Foughner's two wives, and she herself was just one of his nine children. It was a deeply toxic family and he was a deeply toxic and abusive man, and she ran away from all of it when she was seventeen years old, about four months before she would have failed to graduate high school with the rest of her peers. She didn't get far at first — she stayed in and around the Provo and Salt Lake areas for the next few years, often couch-surfing with friends and staying with boyfriends and frequenting motel rooms.

In her early twenties Helena discovered stripping, and it was through this that she finally started making enough money to get an apartment of her own; it was also how she met Kristoff Mack. He was charming in a way that disturbed and fascinated her, and not long after the second or third time they slept together did Helena find herself knocked up with his child and unable to contact him. Devastated and pregnant and terrified and with more hatred in her heart for Utah than ever before, Helena decided to leave for good. With what little money she'd saved, she traveled west just her and her unborn baby, before finally settling down in Palmdale, California, almost nine months later where Pearl was born.

Helena started stripping again just a couple years later. Pearl was often left with neighbors or cheap babysitters or completely alone, because daycare was too expensive and Helena couldn't keep a steady relationship to save her life.

Until she could, of course. George Baker owned the strip joint, and he took a liking to Helena. George Baker was also a drug trafficker, and not a very nice man. As Pearl got older her mother stopped stripping, married George, and allowed him to take care of them, which meant Pearl suddenly had some man pretending to be her father figure when it came to all the shitty stuff but none of the good stuff. He thought Pearl was an instigative little brat and he was right, and she thought he was an evil son of bitch and she was right. Helena was drinking too much by the time Pearl was a teenager to do anything about the abusive way her husband spoke to her daughter. She was also too drunk to be any help when, just before turning eighteen, George approached Pearl about stripping in his club. So she didn't bother ratting him out to her mom at all — Pearl simply left home the minute she turned eighteen and graduated high school.

Unlike her mother before her, Pearl had saved up just enough money through retail jobs she worked in high school to afford an apartment with a friend, and they ended up in Aurora Bay. There, Pearl tried a few different jobs before settling at the Movie House Theater, which she enjoyed because she'd always loved movies and, if she'd been able to last longer than three semester at a nearby community college, would likely have gone on to study film.

That being said, her rough start to life never instilled in her much confidence and that on top of hating the school setting meant she gave up on that idea quickly. She's not content with what she does but doesn't have the ambition to try for anything better, so a lot of her externalized rage is a product of that deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction with her life and her perceived ability to change it.

She dates on and off, sleeps around a lot more. Despite it never helping, she tries to fill the gaping void in her life with meaningless relationships that only end up making her feel worse in the end, and often leave her with additional trauma to pile on top of the rest.

Recently, she's started looking into her biological father out of some misplaced notion that understanding where she comes from might somehow give her a sense of purpose. Her mother never spoke of her father save for a first name, but through some deep digging she finally managed to get a last name as well and connect it to a man in Provo, Utah, who was part of a cult-like religious organization with a freaky recruiting website. It's not really a surprise to her given who her mother is, but it was still, deep down, just another confirmation that her life is garbage and she comes from shitty stock with bad luck.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

A current roommate

The roommate she moved to Aurora Bay with seven years ago (could be the same as the current roommate or something could have happened and they or she moved out)

Co-workers at the movie theater or any other little retail job she did before that

A few besties

Weed smoking buddies

Harder drug buddies + a dealer

Someone who tries to parent her (mostly unsuccessfully)

Someone who’s super chaotic with her and encourages all her poor choices

Some exes (would pretty much all have been toxic relos in some way)

Someone she lowkey idolizes

Enemies baybeeeeee

Would love someone she used to be rly close with and they hate each other now

Also would love the opposite, someone that started off on a bad foot with her but now they’re close

Frenemies!!! Friends only when they’re drunk vibe

Fake friends where they pretend to be friends for some reason but both loathe each other actually

Apartment building neighbors that she’s probably annoyed

Maybe one neighbor who kinda sees through her bullshit tho and lowkey is rly helpful like helped her go down to the basement when she blew a fuse or smth

Someone she knows bc she rear ended them when she borrowed her friend's car or smth ygfuhjds could have turned into a friendship or could be enemies now

Someone she Witnessed Something Weird With and now theyre trauma bonded over it

Hookups/fwb/etc

[dankusner]

Willie’s good ol’ gay boys

Dallas couple inspire Nelson's Valentine's Day salute to queer cowboys

BOYFRIEND BOND: Tour manager David Anderson, left, and choreographer Darrin Davis are collaborating on the "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly (Fond of Each Other)" video shoot that plucked dancers from The Round-Up Saloon.

02.17.06

Willie Nelson never seemed gayer than on Tuesday night at The Round-Up Saloon.

The bar staff wore official Willie drag — bandannas with braided pigtails — as they handed out Willie rolling papers, a promotional item from his 2005 reggae-tinged album, "Countryman."

The evening, titled "Willie's Gay Cowboys Song Coming-Out Party," was also a Valentine's Day celebration.

And although Nelson wasn't at the Round-Up, at 9:30 p.m., the DJ announced that Willie just bought everyone a beer.

Earlier that morning, the country legend released "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly (Fond of Each Other)," a single available on the iTunes Music Store.

The Valentine's Day tie-in has a personal connection.

Two years ago, Nelson's tour manager David Anderson, who had previously been married for 15 years, came out to Nelson and his wife.

A life-long Dallas resident, Anderson met Nelson in 1973, when Anderson was an 18-year-old go-getter who booked the country star for outdoor festivals held at a parking lot near Love Field.

They've worked together for more than three decades.

By rolling the single out on Feb. 14, Anderson said they wanted to avoid having anti-gay country fans bash the song simply because of the queer content.

That's why Anderson's coming out to Nelson is being highlighted with the release: If Willie says gay folks are cool, maybe his listeners will think the same.

A year ago, through an on-line service, Anderson met Darrin Davis, a Utah native who moved to Dallas 12 years ago.

With dancing in his blood, Davis, who was raised a Mormon, found an outlet in clogging competitions.

His heart, however, was thirsty for disco beats.

After majoring in musical theater at the University of Utah, Davis eventually migrated to Big D where he works as a stylist at the Perry Anderson Salon.

Davis also freelances as a choreographer and has worked with artists like Kristine W and Deborah Cox when they perform at Dallas nightclubs.

His background in clogging hasn't gone to waste.

Davis is the choreographer for the "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly" video.

For the past two months, he scouted gay boot-scooters at the Round-Up.

Although still in the rehearsal stages, he's been working with about 30 local dancers who are preparing for a one-day video shoot in mid-March with the finished product to hopefully be ready to hit the airwaves sometime in April.

On Tuesday, the dancers debuted their boot-scraping routine on the Round-Up dance floor.

Anderson and Davis are already focused on their next collaboration: the Aetheria Foundation.

The first planned event is a fundraising performance to be held at the automobile pavilions in Fair Park on Jan. 27, 2007.

The foundation sets up college scholarships for promising young talent from the Metroplex.

Davis and Anderson's vision is to raise North Texas' artistic consciousness in the fields of dance, acting, visual arts and acting.

COWBOY COUP

As the rest of the record industry resists Internet distribution, it's nifty to see an old-timer like Willie Nelson on the sawy edge of technology.

On Valentine's Day, Nelson rolled out a new single, "Cowboys are Frequently Secretly (Fond of Each Other)." By using the Internet and satellite radio to lure his fan base, the song has already earned significant national attention.

Recorded as part of an exclusive set for Apple's iTunes music store, the song was kept off of Nelson's December release at the singer's insistence.

A tribute to Willie's tour manager, David Anderson, the track compliments Nelson's rendi tion of Bob Dylan's "He Was a Friend of Mine" from the "Brokeback Mountain" soundtrack.

"Cowboys are Frequently Secretly" premiered on Howard Stern's new satellite radio show on Tuesday morning.

A regular guest on Stern's program, Nelson mentioned the tune last year when he was in the middie of the Apple recording session.

Though "Cowboys are Frequently Secretly" hasn't previously earned any headlines, the song is hardly new.

Penned in 1977 by Lubbock-born songwriter Ned Sublette, the song was previously covered by queercore band Pansy Division on the 1995 album "Pile Up."

In 2004, singer and gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman mentioned the song while discussing same-sex marriage with CNN's Paula Zahn, claiming that he and Nelson had discussed recording it in the past.

[ledenews]

Wheeling Nailers Complete Futures Trade With Utah

The Wheeling Nailers, proud ECHL affiliate of the Pittsburgh Penguins, have announced the completion of one trade, which occurred prior to Thursday's ECHL Trade Deadline. Wheeling has dealt forward Jarrett Lee to the Utah Grizzlies a future considerations trade. The original part of the transaction saw the Nailers acquire Jordan Martel in exchange for Quinn Wichers. Lee, 24, began his pro career with the Nailers just over a year ago, after concluding his college career at the University of St. Thomas. Jarrett appeared in 60 games over parts of two seasons with Wheeling, and recorded five goals, 18 assists, and 23 points. This season, the Hibbing, Minnesota native tallied all three of his goals and 11 of his 15 points against Central Division opponents. Lee enjoyed the most success against Toledo, as he notched five points in three contests, including back-to-back weeks with multi-point games, which were both victories for the Nailers. Since the initial trade took place, Martel has 20 goals, 14 assists, and 34 points in 36 games with Wheeling (6 goals, 5 assists, 11 points in 16 games prior with Utah). Wichers has two goals, 13 assists, and 15 points in 41 games with the Grizzlies (scoreless in three games prior with the Nailers). The Nailers will play three home games this weekend. Friday at 7:10 is Ladies Night, as Wheeling clashes with Kalamazoo. That will also be a Frosty Friday with $2 beers. Saturday at 7:10 is Wizards and Wands, when the Nailers look to cast a spell on Fort Wayne. The first 2,500 fans that night will receive a free wizard wand. There will also be a Sorting Hat station, acceptance letters to Wizarding School, specialty jerseys, Butter Beer, Quidditch, and fans can sit with their house. Finally, Sunday at 4:10 is a Screen Time Sunday against Cincinnati, in which one lucky fan will win a free TV courtesy of Walmart. The Wheeling Nailers, considered one of the top things to do in Wheeling, West Virginia, provide affordable family entertainment for fans throughout the Ohio Valley. Read the full article

[snarky-sports-report]

Utah Jazz Dominates the Detroit Pistons with a Score of 119-111!

Utah Jazz 119   Detroit Pistons 111   1 2 3 4 T   Utah Jazz 34 30 26 29 119   Detroit Pistons 32 26 30 23 111 Well, well, well, look who came to play today! The Utah Jazz absolutely wrecked the Detroit Pistons in a game that left Pistons fans crying in their lukewarm beer. The final score of 119-111 tells you everything you need to know – the Pistons were like a little bunny hopping…

[nwbeerguide]

Celebrate 10 years of Modern Times, on July 15th, in Point Loma, California. 

Press Release

San Diego, California (June 5, 2023) — Modern Times Beer is celebrating 10 years of boundary-pushing craft beer. To commemorate the milestone, Modern Times invites you to the Decade of Decadence 10th Anniversary Extravaganza on Saturday, July 15 in Point Loma.

Decade of Decadence will feature a carefully curated beer list, with variations on familiar favorites and barrel-aged masterpieces. Headlining the beer list are MT10 Hazy Double IPA, juicy, easy-drinking DIPA brewed with experimental and revolutionary hops, and Decahex: 10th Anniversary Barrel-Aged Stout, aged in 10-Year Bourbon barrels.

“I remember hearing about the opening of Modern Times, now 10 years later we’re excited to celebrate the history while toasting to the new future ahead,” said Garrett Marrero, co-founder and CEO of Craft ‘Ohana/Modern Times. “July 15th is going to be an epic day for our fans and teammates! We will be serving up some new takes on our classics as well as some new experimental beers. Thanks to all who have been a part of our Decade of Decadence and we hope to see you there!”

The anniversary party will be held at The Fortress of Raditude (3612 Kurtz Street) in Point Loma. Food truck vendors include Taco Love, Krispy Boyz Chicken Sandwiches, and Loompia Ladies with tunes by DJ D-Skwiz, SD Pop-Up Mini Golf, and more! Tickets are available online for $50, with discounted tickets for designated drivers.

For more information, visit ModernTimesBeer.com or follow @ModernTimesBeer on Instagram and Twitter and @ModernTimesIsYourFriend on Facebook.

###

About Modern Times Beer Founded in 2013, Modern Times Beer is an intrepid cadre of brewers, coffee roasters, culinary wizards, creative powerhouses, and beer-slingers. MT is based in San Diego with its production brewery, roastery, and tasting room in Point Loma, tasting room in San Diego’s North Park neighborhood, and restaurant/tasting room in Encinitas. Modern Times Beer is distributed throughout California, Arizona, Colorado, Nevada, Utah, Hawaii, Texas, and Washington. In 2022, Modern Times Beer + Coffee joined Craft ‘Ohana, a family of beverage brands including Maui Brewing Co, Maui Hard Seltzer, and Kupu Spirits.

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

April 25, 2023

MICKEY MOUSE, YOU WOKE RAT!

Utahns awakened (don't say woke) Sunday to find that Mickey Mouse and Disney are evil — in case they didn't already recognize that Mickey is a Woke Rat! That's right, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis was in Salt Lake City to help the Utah Republican Party get its blood up for the crusade against all things woke. Topping his list of infidels is Disney, you know, the guys who made Snow White, Toy Story and Little Mermaid. As you'll recall, DeSantis birthed the “Don't Say Gay” legislation that prohibits classroom discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity. Over at Disney World, Mickey, Goofy, Donald Duck and the gang rebelled and the inquisition was on. DeSantis, who is unofficially running for president, told the faithful reactionaries they are under attack and that he will fight tirelessly against evil wokeness. “We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” You're right, Wilson, it does sound a bit like Churchill but great minds think alike, especially if one is a revered statesmen and the other is preaching to an ultraconservative GOP convention that has an appetite for dead, burnt bodies. The Rapture was at hand.

BOYCOTT TRANS BEER

When Kid Rock pulls a gun and drills a case of Bud Light you know it's trouble, trouble with a capital “T” and that stands for trans. If you've been drunk on corporate beer for the past month here's what's up: Bud Light put the likeness of actress and trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney on Bud Light cans as an Instagram promotion during March Madness — and boy, did the suds hit the fan. Beer brand identification is central to the male ego, especially in TrumpWorld: Damn it, if Bud Light has a trans woman on its cans, us real men can't drink it no more — people might think we was trans ourselves. Call it a snafu — putting a trans person on one of the most redneck of beers. On second thought, call it a gigantic F-up. The boycott was on and sales fell off a cliff as some retailers stopped carrying the brand in an effort to reduce violence. The brewer, Anheuser-Busch, quickly retreated: “We never intended to divide people,” said CEO Brendan Whitworth. Bud Light marketing director Alissa Heinerscheid disappeared off the coast of Argentina, never to be seen again. Rumors are swirling that a new marketing director will try to save the brand by recasting it as “No Trans Light” or “Real Redneck Light.” But the question remains: Why would anyone drink Bud Light in the first place — guess you'd have to be a redneck.

WHY REPUBLICANS DO WHAT THEY DO

The staff here at Smart Bomb took a deep dive into all things GOP in an effort to explain how the “Party of Lincoln” became the “Party of Trump.”

– Republicans do what they do because their mothers used Johnson & Johnson baby powder now revealed to contain asbestos.

– Republicans do what they do because as children they didn't get what they wanted for Christmas and instead got weird Rube Goldberg toys that infuriated them.

– They do what they do because as youngsters they rejoiced in pulling the legs off grasshoppers and liked practicing medical experiments on tadpoles.

– Republicans do what they do because in 7th grade a bully took their lunch money and called them “dipshits” and made them cry.

– They do what they do because in middle school they were peeping toms and told everyone that Suzy Cream Cheese had big ones and then had to apologize to Suzy in front of everyone in home room.

– Republicans do what they do because in college they knocked up Suzy Cream Cheese and blamed the entire fraternity house.

– Republicans are who they are because they cheated on the L-SATS and then had daddy land them a job at a big law firm where everyone soon found out they were total shitheads, which qualified them for membership at the country club.

Post script — Not in my backyard. Apartment buildings are springing up like mushrooms along the Wasatch Front. Traffic is horrible. So is the air. Utah's business and political leaders love it. Well, the staff here at Smart Bomb isn't exactly thrilled. The cool place is losing its coolness, overrun by cars and people. It's what's called NIMBYISM — Not in my backyard. People put NIMBYS down but Wilson and the band aren't afraid to be called NIMBYS. Here's why:

—You know you're a NIMBY if you get lost in your own town when sober.

—You know you're a NIMBY if you swear at cars with out-of-state plates.  

—You know you're a NIMBY if you get mad when there's no parking anywhere.

—You know you're a NIMBY if someone says Kimball Junction is Park City.

—You know you're a NIMBY if you hate tourists with skis.

—You know you're a NIMBY if you hate tourists — period.

Alright Wilson, it's been another historic week here on Planet Earth where there was actually some good news: TUCKER CARLSON GOT FIRED FROM FOX! What's next, Donald Trump convicted of Georgia election law violations? Quick, get the band and give us some marching music for DeSantis' crusaders in their fight against Disney and all things woke:

Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah You say I took the name in vain I don't even know the name But if I did—well, really—what's it to you? There's a blaze of light in every word It doesn't matter which you heard The holy or the broken Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah I did my best, it wasn't much I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you And even though it all went wrong I'll stand before the Lord of Song With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah

(Hallelujah — Leonard Cohen)

[utah-beer-fan]

Talisman Brewing tap room had their Killer Grove and the Scottish ale good time.

[gamergirl929]

Taylor, I'm Your Biggest Fan (Alex Morgan x Reader)

Anonymous Request: Alex Morgan x Reader where reader is a huge fan of Taylor Swift so Alex invited her to perform at reader’s birthday party as a surprise. Bonus where reader freaks the f out when Alex introduce her to TS

Alex bites her lip to stifle a grin as she watches you dance in the bathroom, your air ponds blasting in your ears, no doubt listening to Taylor Swift.  

You dance unbeknownst to the fact that your girlfriend is watching you until you spot her out of the corner of your eye and nearly jump into the bathtub.  

“Jesus.” You pant, your hand on your chest and Alex giggles.  

“Don’t mind me, continue.” She winks and you roll your eyes, running some water and flicking it at the forward.  

“Hey!” She giggles, rushing into the bathroom and wrapping her arms around you from behind, pulling you back against her chest, your arms pinned to your sides.  

“This isn’t fair! I’m defenseless.” You pout, as Alex kisses your cheeks and neck playfully.  

“I can totally stop.” She rests her chin on your shoulder and you shake your head.  

“I mean, you’re the one in charge.” You shrug and Alex grins, nuzzling into your neck.  

“You know how much I like being in charge.”  

You snort.  

“Ohh, I know.”

A sudden knock sounds at your front door and Alex sighs.  

“We’ll continue this later.”  

“Can’t wait.” You grin, jumping when Alex gives you a playful slap on the ass.  

“Hey!”  

Alex bites her tongue between her teeth, sending a wink your way before taking her leave.  

The second she gets to the door, it swings open on its own, revealing Ashlyn, Ali and Emily, the three women beaming.  

“Can Y/N come out and play?” Emily grins, earning a flick on the ear from someone behind Ashlyn, that someone being Kelley.  

“Let us in Morgan, we’ve got planning to do...” She says as she jumps up, looking over Ashlyn’s shoulder.  

“SHH!” Alex shakes her head, waving her hands. “She can’t know you’re here! She’s in the bathroom!”  

“Who’s at the door?” You call from the bathroom, everyone scrambling to hide Kelley, who, Emily decides, to shove in a bush outside of your front door.  

“It’s just the usual suspects.” Alex yells and you shake your head, running your hands down your chest to straighten your shirt.  

“You bitch.” Kelley growls as she climbs out of the bush, in favor of sliding into the house and running into the kitchen, ducking behind the island in the center of the floor.

You walk into the living room, making your way straight to the kitchenette.  

“You here to steal our food again?” You ask as you round the island, unaware that Kelley has crawled around to the other side, looking pleadingly at Alex and the others.

“Depends on what you’ve got.” Emily grins as she moves towards the fridge, the two of you surfing its contents, giving Kelley enough time to make a beeline for the closet, basically throwing herself inside with a crash.  

“SHIT.” Ashlyn rubs her elbow, feigning injury, Ali coming over to inspect her uninjured joint.  

“I have some errands to run.” You huff. “Everyone loves bills.”  

You make your way towards Alex with a smile, gently gripping her hips as you pull her into a kiss.  

“I’ll be back later.” You grin, Alex leaning in to press another sweet kiss to your lips.  

“So, you’re leaving me alone with these hooligans?” She teases and you shrug.  

“Throw a hot dog or something outside and they’ll all go running.” You snicker, earning a flick in the ear from Ashlyn.  

“Not Ali and I, I mean, it’s obvious we don’t like hotdogs, we’re married.”  

You hear someone bark out a laugh, someone who sounds like they aren’t in the room, but when you turn around you realize it was Emily, the woman ducked down behind the island.  

“You’re a weirdo Sonny.” You shake your head, pressing another kiss to Alex’s lips.  

“See you later?”  

“Of course.” She beams, watching as you grab your keys and head out the door, the woman sighing as she watches you pull out of the drive and head down the street.  

“YOU HAD TO FUCKING LAUGH AT ASHLYN’S JOKE!?” Emily yells as Kelley crawls out of the closet.  

“I couldn’t help it! It was funny!”  

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose.  

“Why in the hell did I pick you guys to help me plan Y/N’s surprise birthday party?” She asks herself and Ali grins.  

“They’re just here for comic relief, let’s get started.” She claps giddily, Emily and Kelley scoffing.  

“Comic relief my ass.”

                                                            ***

“There’s NO WAY you got her...” Emily snorts, shaking her head, staring at Alex, who simply smirks.  

“Oh, I got her, and she’s coming.” She grins and Emily gasps, a hand on her chest.  

“Would you be my girlfriend too?” She asks, earning a flick on the ear.  

“No, stop it.” Kelley grumbles, rolling her eyes.  

“So, everyone is crashing at our house and we’ll all head to the venue early to get it all set up?” Ali grins and Alex nods.  

“Perfect! This is gonna rock bitchhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Ashlyn starts to dance in her seat, of course, being joined by Kelley and Emily.  

Alex’s phone suddenly rings and she grins, immediately answering when she realizes it’s you.  

“Hey hot stuff.”  

Alex rolls her eyes, shaking her head, giggling.  

“Hi to you too.”  

“Are the hooligans still there?” You ask, Alex’s eyes darting around the room as she nods.  

“Yeah, they’re still here.”  

“HI Y/N!” Emily yells and you snort.  

“I was wondering if you wanted me to pick up some pizza.”  

Alex hums, covering the end of the receiver with her hand.  

“Pizza?”  

Everyone nods, though Kelley’s bottom lip juts out in a pout.  

“What about me?” She pouts and Alex smiles.  

“We may have an extra... Someone...”  

“Something tells me I know who...” You chuckle and Alex’s eyes narrow.  

“How would you know who?” Alex scoffs, everyone’s brows furrowed.  

“I know Kelley’s laugh you know.”

Alex’s blue orbs widen as she stares at Kelley, the defender cringing.  

“If you didn’t laugh at Ashlyn’s joke, we could’ve surprised her when she got back.” Alex pouts and you chuckle.  

“Well now she gets to eat pizza with us, the usual?” You ask, the forward smiling softly.  

“The usual.”  

“GET BEER.” Kelley yells and you shake your head.  

“I’ll be back soon, don’t kill her while I’m gone.”  

Alex sends the defender a glare.  

“I won’t... I love you Y/N.”  

“I love you too Al.”  

                                                            ***

“MY SAVIOR.” Kelley beams excitedly when she sees you’d gotten her favorite beer.  

“Only the best for our Worm.”

“You spoil me.” She squeaks.  

You make your way towards Alex, wrapping an arm around her as you press a kiss to her temple, leaning against her.  

“Looks like you survived the hooligans.” You grin, Alex rolling her eyes as she leans heavily against you.  

“Barely.”  

Kelley pops the tab open with a click, sighing as she takes a deep breath.  

“My favorite sound.” She hums as she takes a swig from the can, grinning.  

You glance at Alex, shaking your head.  

“You’re an enabler.” Alex whispers, earning a loud snort.  

“I’ll be sure to reveal that in our next couples therapy session.” You snicker, Alex slapping you, hard on your ass.  

“Ew, don’t cop a feel in front of us.” Emily groans, the woman groaning louder when you give Alex the same treatment, smacking her on the butt, the woman squeaking.  

“No.” Kelley’s eyes narrow, a smirk stretching across her face.  

“Put down your beer and give me a hug asshole.” You open your arms, the woman reluctantly placing her beer on the counter before diving on you.  

You give the woman a tight squeeze, the woman groaning loudly, squeezing you as equally hard.  

“What are you doing here?” You ask, the defender’s eyes widening slightly when she realizes they hadn’t come up with a cover story for her recent arrival.  

“Umm... Was just in the neighborhood.”

Your brows arch in question.  

“Last time I checked; Utah isn’t in Florida’s neighborhood.”

Kelley gasps dramatically.  

“Are you insinuating, that Utah is the SLUMS!?”  

Your eyes widen.  

“No! No, I wasn’t!”  

Kelley pulls away from you with a pout, though her plan was working entirely in her favor.  

“I’ll just go back to the slums of Utah...”  

Alex rolls her eyes, she Ashlyn, Ali and Emily watching as you try to reason with Kelley, the woman feigning sadness.  

Everything was going to plan, well, somewhat seeing as you now knew Kelley was there, but if everything else worked out as planned, your surprise birthday party would go off without a hitch.  

                                                            ***

Alex rubs her hands together eagerly.  

Everything had gone to plan, the entirety of the USWNT here in Florida, setting up your surprise party for the evening.  

While they were getting that ready, the two of you heading towards one of the fanciest restaurants in town, something Alex had planned even before she’d set the surprise party into motion.  

Alex lets out a string of giggles when you stop at a red light, turning towards her, singing Love Story, to the woman.  

The song, OF COURSE, was by the one and only Taylor Swift.

The car behind you blares their horn and you growl, the light JUST turning green a hot second ago.  

“Yeah, yeah! Blow it out your ass!”

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.  

“What am I going to do with you?” She giggles and you shrug, reaching for and taking her hand.  

“Love me? Cherish me?” You snicker, the woman rolling her eyes.  

“Yeah, I think I can do that.”  

You bring Alex’s hand to your lips, kissing the back of it with a grin.  

“I love you Al.” You whisper, the woman’s cheeks flushing as she beams.

“I love you too Y/N.”  

The car behind you AGAIN beeps and you snarl, glaring in your rearview mirror. 

“I’m about to go all Look What You Made Me Do on your ass.” You grumble angrily, Alex shaking her head.  

“Do you have to incorporate Taylor Swift into EVERYTHING you do?”  

You shrug, grinning cockily.  

“Are you jealous?” You tease, the forward rolling her eyes as she leans across the console, pressing a kiss to your cheek.  

“Nope. Taylor Swift has never seen you naked, I have.”  

You snort.  

“Alright, you’ve got me there.”  

You smirk.  

“If you play your cards right, you might see it again tonight.” You send her a wink, the woman rolling her eyes.  

“Shouldn’t YOU be the one playing those cards?”  

You snort.  

“But it’s my birthday Allllllllllll.” You whine the woman giggling as she intertwines your fingers, giving your hand a squeeze.  

“We’ll see.”  

                                                            ***

The smile that stretches across your face is filled with nothing but the purest form of love for the woman across from you, the woman who’s currently grinning as she fumbles over whatever Italian food she’d ordered, the waitress giggling as she writes it down.  

Alex turns to you, eyes widening when she sees you staring, the love sick look on your face making her cheeks flush.  

“What?” She asks with a chuckle and you grin.  

“I love you.”  

Alex beams, the woman taking your hand, fingers intertwining as she presses a kiss to the back of your hand.  

“I love you too.”  

Your fingers play with Alex’s, the woman’s skin delicate and soft, a complete contrast to the woman’s attitude.  

You hold your palm against hers, the woman’s hand just a bit smaller than your own, the woman giggling as she again intertwines your fingers.  

“Happy Birthday Y/N.” She whispers and you smile, leaning across the table to press a kiss to her lips.  

“Thanks Al.”

You bite your bottom lip to stave off your laughter.  

“You still can’t read Italian for shit.” You jest, the forward’s bottom lip jutting out in a pout.  

“Shut up.”  

                                                            ***

“Turn here.” Alex points down the street and your brows furrow.  

“Yeah, this isn’t how we get home.”  

Alex rolls her eyes.  

“Of course, it isn’t, I have something to show you, now park here.”  

Your eyes narrow as you turn to look at her.  

“If this is some role play thing- OW!”  You cry out as Alex punches you in the arm.  

“It’s not, shut up.”  

You bottom lip juts out, your best puppy dog eyes on display as you look at your girlfriend.  

Alex leans across the console, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before she slides out of the car.  

“Follow me.”  

You chuckle as you too slide out of the car, slamming the door shut.  

“So bossy.”  

You hold your arm out to Alex, the woman gripping your bicep.  

“Lead the way.”  

Alex leans heavily against you, a grin stretching across your face as you whisper.  

“This is nice.” You kiss Alex’s cheek, the woman beaming.  

“It is. Anytime I spend with you is.”  

Your cheeks flush.  

“Stopppppppp.” You whine, the forward giggling.  

“No, you’re so cute when you blush.”  

You throw your head back with a lengthy groan, the forward giggling even harder as you pout.  

Luckily for her, she’d kept you distracted long enough to get you to the bar where your surprise was waiting.  

“We’re here.”  

You cock your head to the side, turning to look into what looks to you, like an empty bar.  

“Are you finally reenacting that scene from Coyote Ugly that I’ve been asking for?” You laugh, the woman pulling the door open and shoving you inside.  

“What’s-

“SURPRISE!!!!!”  

You nearly jump out of your skin when the lights flip on, revealing the entire USWNT, a number of them, mostly the kids, with noisemakers in their mouths, loudly honking.  

Unsurprisingly, Kelley, is standing on the bar, holding two beers, a number of your teammates on the bar as well.  

You shake your head, turning to Alex, the woman’s grin massive.  

“You planned this?”

She shrugs.  

“Maybe...”  

Alex squeals as you lift her into the air, spinning her around.  

“I love you so much.” You whisper, the woman grinning as she presses a kiss to your lips.  

“I love you too, but the night isn’t over yet.” She winks.  

The second you put Alex down someone jumps on your back, that someone being none other than Kelley O’Hara.  

“LET’S PARTY!”  

                                                            ***

“I have something else for you.” Alex pulls you away from Tobin and Christen, the two grinning, knowing full well what Alex was about to show you.  

“There’s more? You spoil me.” You wink, Alex shaking her head as she kisses your cheek.  

“Well, if you thought I was spoiling you before, you’ll DEFINITELY think so after this.”

Your brows furrow, the sound of a microphone being turned on alerting you to the fact that someone is on the bar’s makeshift stage.  

The curtain’s part and your heart stops, a familiar tune you know ALL too well starting to play.  

You can feel Alex’s eyes on you as you stare in disbelief as none other than Taylor Swift approaches the stage’s microphone.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!” The woman beams as she starts to sing, Love Story sounding loudly throughout the bar.  

You turn to Alex with wide, teary eyes.  

“You got me Taylor Swift?” You ask, your bottom lip trembling and she grins, her arms slipping around your neck as your lips meet.  

“I got you Taylor Swift, now get out here and dance with me.”  

Alex pulls you to the dance floor, the two of you swaying back and forth, Alex’s arms slipping beneath yours, her hands splayed across your back.  

Your hands settle on her waist, your forehead resting against yours as Taylor sings.  

“Alex...?” You whisper, the woman’s blue orbs locking with your Y/E/C ones.  

“Yeah?”  

“I love you. I love you so much” You brush your nose against hers and she smiles softly.  

“I love you too.”  

The two of you are entirely lost in your own little world, just being together, your eyes shut as you rest your foreheads together.  

Eventually, the song ends, though the two of you don’t part, at least until you remember WHO had been singing.  

Your eyes widen as you turn towards the stage, eyes further widening when you realize THE Taylor Swift is making her way towards you and Alex.  

Alex leaves you, wrapping her arms around Taylor, giving the singer a tight squeeze.  

“You’re hugging Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is hugging you.” You mumble dumbly. “Does that mean I can hug Taylor Swift?”

Alex giggles as she and Taylor pull apart, the women snorting when they see you literal shaking in excitement, a massive grin on your face.  

“So, Taylor, this is Y/N, she’s a big fan.” Alex laughs, your eyes still locked on Taylor.  

She giggles.

“I-I-I'm Y/N.” You smile, the blonde grinning.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N I’m Taylor.”  

You let out a squeal, wrapping your arms around her, the woman chuckling as she hugs you back.  

“Holy shit I’m hugging Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is hugging me.”

The two of you part, your eyes wide when you again see and realize that you’d just hugged Taylor Swift.  

“Oh my god, Alex, it’s Taylor Swift.” You squeal, the forward shaking her head.  

“I know, I brought her here.”  

Alex grunts when you tackle her, pulling her into a tight hug as you pepper her face with kisses.  

“I love you so so much.” You say in between kisses, the woman giggling as she tries, and fails, to dodge your lips.  

“I love you too.”  

You pull back, simply to look in Alex’s blue orbs before you lean back in, pressing the gentlest of kisses to her lips, the woman melting into it.  

The two of you are so caught up in kissing, that you don’t realize Taylor is back on the stage, the music again starting up, a love song that the two of you can dance to.  

You sway back and forth, a grin stretching across your face as you whisper in her ear.  

“Thank you for giving me the best birthday present of all.”

Alex giggles.  

“I had to pull a few strings to get her here...” Alex shrugs, brows knitting in confusion when you pull back.  

You shake your head, your lips splitting into a grin that takes up nearly half of your face.  

“No present could EVER compare to the greatest gift the world has ever given me...” You lean towards her, your forehead resting against hers.  

“And that’s you.”  

Alex’s eyes go glassy with tears, the woman closing the gap between the two of you, the kiss tender, loving, a kiss that leaves your lungs devoid of air.  

The two of you pull apart, the two of you wear love sick smiles.  

“I love you Alex.” You whisper, the woman beaming.  

“I love you too, Happy Birthday Y/N.”

The two of you are abruptly pulled apart by someone someone, that someone being Emily, diving on your back, the woman OBVIOUSLY drunk.  

“YOU’RE TOO SOBER!” She slurs, your eyes wide as you stare, horrified at Alex, the woman giggling as you’re dragged to the bar by the team’s children, Megan and Ashlyn doing shots together.  

“Oh no.” You mumble, Lindsey grinning, along with the other kids.  

“Oh, YES.”  

Alex makes her way over to Christen and Tobin, the two watching as Megan passes you a shot.  

Christen giggles.  

“You know you’ll be carrying her home after this right?” Tobin asks, Alex snorting in answer.  

“Oh, I know, it’s her birthday so, so she gets away with it.”  

Alex shakes her head, watching as you down three shots, one right after the other, grimacing as Kelley passes you another.  

“I’ll be sure to remind you of that tomorrow.” Tobin gives her a nudge, earning a mock glare from her teammate.  

“Please do.”  

                                                           ***

“WAIT.” You screech hours later, nearly every one of your teammates drunkenly jumping to their feet.  

You turn to the stage, gasping.  

“IS THAT TAYLOR SWIFT!? TAYLOR, I FUCKING LOVE YOU.”  

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose as you rush towards the stage, climbing on it and wrapping your arms around the singer, whose singing is abruptly cut off.

“Oh, Christ.” She mumbles as she moves to peel you off of Taylor.  

“Remember Al, she gets to get away with ittttt!” Tobin calls out and Alex groans.  

“Shut uppppp Tobin!”  

“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TAYLOR!”  

“Y/N LET HER GO!”  

At the end of the day, Alex had to LITERALLY carry you to bed, but you had a great time that night, and that’s all that mattered to her.  

Alex eventually slips into bed beside you, you who’s dressed, messily in your PJs.  

“I love you Y/N.” She whispers and you hum, wiggling towards her and snuggling into her side.  

“I love you too Al. Thank youuu for the best birthday ever.”  

[randomvarious]

Sturgeon General - “Live the Life” Boycott Radical Records 1999 Third Wave Ska / Reggae

Although the bio from this group's Facebook page is kinda long, it really seems to capture a lot of the irreverent essence of being a small-time touring ska band in the 90s:

The decade of the 90’s was a distant time: the internet was in its infancy, “texting” was unheard of and climate change…was still a myth. Seattle grunge may have been an institution, but close on its heels SKA music was making waves. Nowhere else was this more evident than along the somewhat obscure, conservative Wasatch Front in Utah where the likes of Swim Herschel Swim, Stretch Armstrong, Insatiable and Sturgeon General were whipping crowds into a frenzy on a nightly basis. Formed in the early nineties by front-man and bari-saxophonist Craig Waddell, Sturgeon General epitomized the cozy underground followings SKA had generated around the country. In direct opposition to grunge’s baleful dirges and angst-filled bravado, SKA proffered a carefree, hyperactive outlet of brass energy underlying its reggae-on-steroids tempo. The band filtered many members through its fraternity over the years, but staples Zach Griffen, Bill Hosack, Ken Marvel, Devin Affleck, Joe Kaufman, Pablo Anderson, Nate Robinson, and Richard (Phish) McCallister were welcome anchors for a band that eventually toured for more than four years nationally while promoting two albums of original material.

Sturgeon began playing at Salt Lake City’s Bar-and-Grill (9th south), Ashbury Pub and their ever-staple gig at Burt’s Tiki Lounge. In the Sundance burrow known as Park City, Sturgeon regularly played to sellout rooms at The Alamo and Jammin’ Salmon where they attracted their manger, Ben Rosch. The energy of performances were electric and it was often difficult to determine who was more wired: the band or the ‘skankin’ crowds, as many a busted stage floor can testify to! Fan favorites Mojave, Edge of the Knife and Shut Up seldom left the dance floor empty or dry from sweat and spilled beers. One of the great advantages of watching Sturgeon play was that fans would sweat out as much as they imbibed, making the bartenders happy while accounting for an intense aerobic exercise session.

Life on the road was filled with all of the glory, frustration and insanity that many have come to associate with the rock-star life. Sturgeon General wandered far from Utah, frequenting the east coast and making a name for themselves in small college towns and metropolises alike, gaining fans wherever they went.

How crazy you ask? Band highlights from the road include streaking the campus at Mount Holyoke (a conservative women’s college), performing semi-regularly at the SKA Brewery in Durango Colorado, getting their own beer named after them by the Mt. Olympus Brewery: Sturgeon General Stout, 4th of July gig at the VFW in San Antonio, Texas with Monkey (band), and touring the east coast when 1999’s hurricane Floyd struck the region making for a crazy set of weeks! Sturgeon also recorded a radio commercial for Corona beer in the late 90’s featuring their song “Saturday” that teased with vaulting them into the national spotlight. Then there’s the time tenor player Jacob(his body still painted green from an Incredible Hulk Halloween costume, and currently lead in the E street band), nearly drove the tour van off the road in a blinding snowstorm. Kicked out of hotels, stiffed by club/bar owners, fights, music label disputes, out of money, getting lost; all in a day’s work for the indefatigable touring SKA band! Through it all, Sturgeon General endures.

Always particularly enjoy reading about bands that come from strait-laced places like Utah. It's just fun to imagine moms and dads and clergymen losing their cool because of the combined sequences of musical notes and words they just heard. Just a funny thing to imagine someone being pissed off about. There's something to the idea of a thing being cool and attractive because the people in charge find it objectionable and uncouth. Controversy rocks, and the more uptight a place is, the easier it is to rustle its jimmies. And at the end of the day, that's just plain ol' fun, right? A tale as old as time, really.

This silly song appeared on two albums in 1999: Sturgeon General's eponymously titled second and final album, and Radical Records' Boycott Radical Records various artist compilation. Not really sure why or how this particular song ended up on a Radical comp since SG never released anything through them, but it happened!

I guess the most striking and interesting thing about “Live the Life”—besides its "Dueling Banjos" open(??? 😂)—is that while "third wave ska" and "ska-punk" are terms that tend to get used interchangeably, this third wave ska song brings all the speed of a skatepunk type of jam, but without any of the actual punkiness; there's no scratchy guitars, no bratty vocals, and no fast-mashed drums. But it has fun breaks from all of that breakneck speed that see the song suddenly shifting in and out of varied bouts of chilled-out reggae grooviness.

Maybe you find Sturgeon General's choice to use this song as the title track to their second album to be a bit odd, but you gotta remember that they were primarily a touring band, and I don't think it's all that hard to imagine them tearing down every venue that they wound up playing it at. Gotta be a fun one to experience live for sure 😊.

[13uswntimagines]

I Might Just be Convinced (Alyssa Naeher x Solo!Reader)

Request 1: Alyssa Naeher x reader? Maybe reader is hope solo little sister.

Request 2: alyssa x reader kinda like the one you did for lindsey where she helps reader with breakup with christen?

Authors Note: Hey dudes, I combined these two requests because it felt the most natural to me. I hope you enjoy! Hit me up with Requests, Questions or if you just want to say hi! I promise i don’t bite! I hope you enjoy!

The amber liquid burned as it slid down your throat, and you sighed at the feeling. You never understood why Kelley liked this stuff. It didn’t taste good, but you supposed that that wasn’t the point. Your loan to Arsenal had just been announced, and your sister-in-law and teammates had insisted that you all needed to get drunk and celebrate. You just weren’t into it. You would have much preferred sitting in bed with a good book, and maybe some Netflix. 

“Hey, baby Solo,” Alyssa’s voice broke you out of your lamenting about the night that could have been, as she saddled up to the bar next to you, wrapping an arm over your shoulder. 

“I fucking hate that nickname,” You groaned, dowing the rest of your drink and holding your hand up for another. “That’s all I ever am. Hope’s little sister,” You grumbled, leaning forward on the bar and placing your head in your hands. 

“Is that why you’re running away to London?” Alyssa chuckled at your childishness, and you huffed. That was part of it. Hope had never played for Arsenal, and you were desperately looking for a fresh start. A start where you could showcase your skills and not be compared to her. Maybe that’s why you were a forward and not the head of the Department of Defense. But there was more to your decision. 

“That’s part of it,” You hummed, thanking the bartender as he handed you a fresh drink, turning to look at Alyssa. 

“I’m guessing that Preath is the other part of that?” She questioned, raising her eyebrow at you. Your cheeks tinted pink and you glanced over her shoulder to where Christen and Tobin were dancing. You saw Tobin’s hand placed so carefully on her hips, holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Christen was looking at her like she had hung the moon and stars. You had to look away when she leaned up to place a kiss on the slightly taller girl’s lips. 

“We weren’t dating, so Chris can do whatever she wants,” You grumbled, taking a sip of the terrible beer that Kelley had suggested. 

“You sure about that kid?” Alyssa questioned, placing a hand on your shoulder, her thumb running soothing circles on the back of your neck. You sighed at the feeling, allowing yourself to relax. 

“I don’t think you can count random hookups as dating” You mumbled. 

You and Christen were best friends. She was one of the only people in the world who hadn’t made assumptions about you because of who you were related to. She was a calming force to your raging anxiety, and she had been the one to comfort you after you missed the PK at the Olympics when even your own sister wasn’t talking to you. Things had progressed and you found yourselves in a friends with benefits relationship, and for a long time that had been fine. 

You knew that she was still very much hung up on Tobin, who was being an ass about commitment, and she knew that you were too afraid to chase the keeper who you were in love with. 

It didn’t make it suck any less when Christen told you that the more… intimate side of your relationship had to stop. She had tried to be kind, but the only words that you could hear over and over in your head were that you didn’t make her feel the things that Tobin did. That she didn’t love you like she loved Tobin. That the two of you couldn’t just go back to being regular friends. 

That had been the worst part. You knew that you would always be second to Tobin, but losing Christen as a friend had been a crushing blow. So you did what you do best, you had requested a trade to anywhere that wasn’t Utah, and Arsenal had taken the bate. 

“You don’t sound bitter at all,” Alyssa Snorted, ruffling your hair good-naturedly. You supposed you were on some level, but another glance at the happy couple had you shaking your head.

“I’m not. You can tell just by the way they look at each other that they’re sickeningly in love. We didn’t have that, and she deserves that,” You said softly, making eye contact with the goalkeeper. Her eyes softened at the honesty she saw in your Y/E/C orbs. You were always selling yourself short. 

“You deserve that too,” She murmured, using the back of her hand to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. A light shade of pink dusted your cheeks. Christen may have also pointed out your obvious feelings for the soft-spoken keeper. But why would she want you? She was always the second choice when Hope was in the room. Why would she want to be with someone who was related to the person who made her feel like you always felt? 

“Now you sound like Kelley,” You pouted, and Alyssa felt the corners of her lips tick up at your cuteness. 

“Squirrel has a point. You deserve someone who will treat you as well as Tobin treats Chris, or Kelley treats your sister. Someone who will hold you whether you’re happy or sad, or clothed or not,” She said seriously, cupping your face with her warm hands, and you looked anywhere but her eyes. 

“Someone who will defend a goal so I can take PK’s at three am?” You asked seriously, remembering all of the times that she had come to find you one the field at odd hours. The pitch was the only place that you felt free, and it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for you to sneak out of camp to fire some balls at a goal. It let you think through your problem and mediated your legendary quick temper. And Alyssa always came to find you, no matter how late you stayed out. 

“Someone who will defend you as well as she defends goals if you give her the chance,” She said shyly. It was then that you noticed how close your lips had gotten to her’s. You could feel each breath fan over your face. For once in your life, you stopped overthinking, and you leaned up to close the distance. 

Her lips were soft as they moved against yours. They taste like her beer and something that was just so… Alyssa. Her tongue hesitantly pressed against your bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss, and you gave it to her. Your tongues danced together in perfect harmony like they were made for each other, and you felt something click into place inside you. How long had you been dreaming of this moment, too afraid to take this risk? You pulled away when the need for air became an issue, placing a sweet peck on her lips after a few seconds. 

“I’d really like that” You whispered against her skin, and you felt her chuckle. Her fingers tangled in the baby hairs at the back of your neck as she pulled you so you were practically sitting in her lap as she connected your lips again. 

“Think you can be convinced to not move all the way to London? That way we can see if this thing will work?” She mumbled against your lips. You sighed into the kiss, pulling away to look her in the eyes and chucking when she tried to chase your lips with her own. Technically your trade to Arsenal wasn’t final until the morning, and with a couple of calls, you could change your acceptance to the offer Chicago had sent you. It wasn’t as fresh of a start as you would have wanted but perhaps it was the start of something new. 

“I might be persuaded,” You chucked, pulling her back into you. If anyone was going to change your mind, it was the girl in front of you. She was your fresh start, and she was going to show you what a real relationship was, and why you weren’t just Hope’s little sister. 

[penwieldingdreamer]

Going out with a bang

Thanks to the anon for this request:

Hi I was curious if u could do a fic but with two Keanu characters? Like Utah and traven work together and meet the reader and they basically try to one up the other to win her and maybe it ends in a three way or ? Idk I know it’s weird but haha

I hope you will like it.

Warnings: some bump and grind, public makeout

Words: 1367

“Traven!” “Utah!” Harp and McMahon called at the same time as the FBI agent and LAPD officer argued inside the office.

“I’m not going to work with him. We’re FBI, not the police.” Johnny called, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the two officers standing across from them. 

Jack rolled his eyes, disapproving of the tone Utah was taking. “It’s your both that wanted out help, not the other way around.”

“Shut up!” the Supervisory Special Agent Ben Harp shouted, his fist hitting the top of his desk, making the clutter rattle on it. “I need you both on this. The target is known to have specialized in weapon technology, firearms and explosives. She needs to be stopped before she can do anything.”

Cocking his head, the younger agent looked at his boss. “She, sir?”

“Yes.” McMahon answered, pulling out the folders with the needed information. “Y/N Y/L/N. She was part of a group called The Bombers, but split off to work on her own. We have info that she’s going to plan an attack on civilians. The attack will be in the next few days so we need to work fast.”

Looking at the picture in the file, Utah felt his insides flutter as a smile made its way onto his lips. He was going to stop her, with or without Traven’s help - preferably without the officer.

Jack put the folder down, turning to his boss with a grin on his face. "When do we start?" 

***

"Traven!" Johnny hissed in the ear piece, as he watched his unwanted partner walking through the club, his outfit with the shirt, plaid button up, jeans and boots already screaming LAPD in the high end bar. "Would you stick to the plan? You're sticking out like a sore thumb." 

Chuckling, Jack made his way to the bar, where he could see Y/N already sitting and drinking the night away. "We need her to know we're there. How else would she get to know us." 

Growling, Utah followed him, hoping to keep him from doing something to threaten the mission. "God damn it. If Pappas were here, he'd haul your ass out of here." 

"Good thing he ain't here." Jack grinned as he saw his partner making his way through the throngs of people trying to reach him before he sat down next to their target, mentioning to the bartender to get him a drink. "Hey." 

You looked up, finished with your cocktail that one of the other patrons had sent your way and smiled. "Well, hello there." The guy next to you looked cute, his dark eyes shining in the lights of the bar and his hair in a buzz cut. "You don't usually come here, do you?" 

"Why, does my look give me away?" he grabbed the beer and turned his body towards you. 

Biting your lip, you tapped your chin. "Let's just they it's not the usual attire someone coming here wears. Which makes me question what you're doing here." 

"Oh you know, enjoying a beer after work and just hanging out at the bar." 

You were about to respond when suddenly someone sat down on your other side. "Can I buy you a drink?" the smooth, deep voice asked and you looked over your shoulder and the young man. His longer, dark strands and the blue button up giving him the typical LA vibe. He looked like the boy next door mixed with surfer dude and you could feel your insides flutter. What was going on right now? 

"I-uh-sure, why not?" you shrugged and smiled at him. 

He held out his hand, ready for you to shake. "I'm Johnny, nice to meet you." 

"Oh, and I'm Jack." the guy with the buzz cut called, sticking his hand out, nearly shoving it under your nose. You could already feel the tension building between the men and knew it was going to be a long night. 

Glaring at the LAPD officer, Utah waves at the bartender. "One Cosmopolitan, please." 

"Oh come on." Traven snorted, taking a long pull from his beer before he put it back down onto the bar. "She's not the Cosmo type, one Sex on the Beach for the lady please."

Your eyebrows shot up towards your hairline as you watched the display between the two men next to you. Biting your lip you tried to keep the giggles in, Jack and Johnny acting like kids, you didn't have time for these games.  "Actually, I like a whisky but if you excuse me now, you can enjoy your drinks and your little games, while I have to do some work stuff." Winking at them you left both at the bar, maybe they'd follow you or maybe they'll fight over you some more. 

Watching you leave the LAPD officer turned to his partner. "Great entrance, buddy, now how are we going to get to her?" 

"I thought you had everything under control." the agent grumbled, looking after you as you disappeared in the crowd of dancing bodies. "She didn't want you, Jack." 

Rolling his eyes, Traven drank the last bit of his beer and slammed the bottle down onto the bar top. "Obviously she didn't want you, too, Johnny boy." He clapped his hand on his partners shoulder and left in search for you, his plaid clad body disappearing between the patrons. 

Johnny shook his head, gave a fifty dollar bill to the guy standing behind the bar and left. He needed to find them or all of this would end in chaos. 

***

You were swaying to the music, rolling your hips around as your hands moved over your body, the beat from the song making your heart speed up. Closing your eyes, you let the rhythm control you. In your mind there was no one around you, only the music, the musk and sweat in the air and you. 

And then you could smell him, before you felt him. His manly fragrance, deep and heady. His hands on your body, letting his fingers explore your dips and curves. 

"Why did you just leave?" he asked, his hot breath fanning across your neck. 

You shivered, a delighted moan leaving your lips as you grinded against him. "I thought you boys needed some time to yourself." 

"Oh, we needed that." Jack's lips descended to your neck, suckling on your pulse point before his eyes found Johnny's. 

You saw as he made his way over to you and held your hand out for him. "Hello handsome." He linked his fingers with yours and let himself be pulled into your circle. "Do you want to play?" you asked him coyly, your free hand nestling at his button up. 

"What are we playing, babe?" Johnny groaned, the fingers of his free hand wandering underneath the skirt of your mini dress, feeling the pebbles break out on your skin. 

Moaning loudly, putting your hand behind his neck and pulling his lips to yours. Jack's hands moved to your chest, playing with your breasts and giving them a light squeeze. The agent pulled the fabric up and grabbed your ass, grinding your lower half against his, letting you feel the hardness in his jeans. Pushing back against the officer, you knew that the display had affected him the same as well. One of his hands moved south, letting his fingers brush against your panty line while his partner's tongue explored your mouth. 

"Do you like that, baby?" he whispered into your ear, his lips pulled into a grin when he felt your hips move in circles to feel both of them against you. 

Pulling away from Johnny, you let out a harsh breath. "Fuck yes. Get me out of here." you moaned turning your eyes on his dark ones as he nodded towards Jack. 

"Let's go, babe." he grinned. "You won't forget this night I swear."

Jack kissed your cheek. "You won't forget us for a while." He returned the grin and pulled your dress back down, following behind his partner who was leading you out of the club. It was going to be a long night for the three of you, ending with a bang.

Taglist

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[unloveable-unreachable]

You’re the One My Heart Wants- Alex Morgan x Reader

Word Count: 3,318

Warnings: Swearing

Author: Me

A/N: Hey guys this is a first attempt at an Alex Morgan x Reader multi-chapter story. I hope you like it, and I’ll post chapters as much as I can. 

Chapter 1 

Headlines for the 2019 NWSL Season:

~~Marta leaves the NWSL after two seasons with the Pride, Orlando obtains star forward, Y/L/N, from Portland.~~

~~Portland Thorn fans grieve over the loss of their champion forward.~~

~~What will be the career for Y/F/N Y/L/N be like at Orlando Pride?~~

~~Orlando has high hopes for their new forward, Y/L/N, and hope this change is just what the club needs.~~

Y/N POV

It’s weird, I’ll admit, having your name thrown all over the headlines for the upcoming season. I never imagined leaving Portland, especially this soon. I joined the club right out of my second year of college back in 2014, it was a perfect fit for me. I loved the team, and most of my best friends were on that team. Like Sonny and Lindsey. Don’t get me wrong, I have other friends on the team like Tobin, but only because I’m the only one who will go skateboarding with her (at least that’s what she says, but I know she loves me even if she won’t admit it). 

Being one of the players during the 2015 Women’s World Cup put me in the headlines, especially because I was only 21 and scored in two matches, so I was used to being in the headlines. If not for that then for the 2016 Olympics for sure, yeah that was a hard time for a lot of us. We’ve grown since then though, we put more work in than anyone else I know. We want every win more than the opponent every time we step out on the pitch. This World Cup is where we’ll prove ourselves.

Anyways, yeah leaving Portland was really hard for me. Having to pack up my whole life, along with my Corgi, Luna, and moving to the other side of the country was definitely a struggle, to say the least. One of the only good things about being traded to Orlando is that I get to see my moms. Let’s not confuse that with my actual mom, she’s a whole other story. My ‘moms’ are Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris. During my rookie season on the National Team, they took me under their wing, because Ali saw me distance myself from the others and she took it upon herself to take care of me which also means Ash gets drug into it, too. But she doesn’t hate it at all, I’m the kid they wish they could have raised themselves (let’s be honest here, they are the ones who raised me. They just don’t realize it yet). They’re the ones who helped me find my new house, and the ones who helped me (along with Uncle Kyle) move in.

“Yeah mom, I got all of my stuff moved in and unpacked already,” I say to my actual mother. “Okay, I was just making sure. Cause you know I won’t be there to check on you every day and I just want to make sure you have everything ready,” she said in a very uptight tone that I’ve always hated. “Have you met anyone yet? Are there any men you have your eye on?” I nearly broke my head rolling my eyes as hard as I do. Let’s be clear here, I’m gay. I’ve been gay since I was 13, but I can’t tell my family because they wouldn’t understand. Also because if I came out to them I would still be the disappointment of ‘their three girls’, except this time I would be completely disowned. Never to hear from anyone in my family ever again, not like I ever hear from them now but you get what I mean. It’s not something I’m quite ready to dish out yet. “No mom, no guys,” I say trying to end our conversation because I have training in an hour and I knew Ali was going to come pick me up. We say our goodbyes and I run out to meet Ali, who always gets excited to see me like she hasn’t seen me in years. It’s refreshing, to say the least.

Our 2019 season started with a loss to Portland. It was a bittersweet match for me to say the least. At the end of the match Tobin, Sonny, and Lindsey came and gave me hugs until I couldn’t breath. I missed them, and I know that Sonny missed my playlists in the locker room. Lindsey and Sonny practically beg to come stay at my house for a movie night, and of course, I give in without any help from Tobin. The next match was against North Carolina, who has my other best friend on the team, Sammy Mewis. We manage to lose that one too, I know the team is just getting used to me being there but there isn’t any connection between any of us it seems. Sammy also begs to stay at my house because she missed Luna and my movie collection.

Our next match is one of the ones I’ve been waiting for, because playing Utah was always a great match and because I get to see my number one best friend- Kelley O’Hara. When they get to the stadium, I immediately run up to Kelley and jump on her back causing her to fall over, filling the stadium with laughter. “I missed you, Smalls!” I yell at her as we lay on the pitch. “I missed you more, Biggie Smalls!” she shouts back. We have nicknames that we gave each other back in 2015 at the last World Cup. She’s “Smalls” because she’s 5’5” and I’m “Biggie Smalls” because I’m five inches taller than her and built more. She came up with them, and I just go along with it because she’s my best friend and I love her more than anything.

The match ends with Utah winning. We need to get out of this slump or it’s going to be a long season for us. Kelley catches up to me while I walk out of the locker room, “Hey Y/N! Do you wanna go out for drinks tonight?” she asks with a big ass grin on her face. How could I tell her no? “Of course, Kelley. Meet me at my house later and we’ll grab an Uber and stay out as late as you can,” I say back smiling at her. I have to run to catch up with Ali and Ash to get a ride home. “You played good today, moms,” I say as Ash slings her arm around my shoulders. Ali laughs at the mention of ‘moms’ because she knows it’s true but won’t admit it, at least not to me. “You played really well too, kiddo. They just need to get you the ball more, you really work your magic when you get a chance to get a touch on the ball,” Ash says as she ruffles my hair causing me to laugh, as we get in the car to head to our houses. When we pull up to my house, I hop out and say thanks for the ride like I always do. “Hey Y/N, don’t forget I’m coming to get you in the morning for our hike. Don’t sleep in or I’ll make your life hell,” Ali says trying to be all serious but ends up cracking a smile. “I won’t. Love you guys!” I shout from the front door. “Love you, kiddo!” Ash yells from the passenger window.

I hear a knock on the door a few hours later while I’m setting out Luna’s food, and then hear the front door open knowing it’s Kelley. When I look up from the dog food I’m caught a little off guard at the sight of Alex, not in a bad way but in a surprising way. She’s standing next to Kelley watching her play with Luna on the floor. “I can’t believe you haven’t brought Luna to see me more. She loves her Aunt Kelley, and obviously missed me,” Kelley says to me while cradling Luna like a baby. I let out a laugh and say, “We just got moved in like a month ago, and she enjoys her time with Logan. But I’ll be sure to bring her soon, she sure does miss your walks.” I catch Alex looking at the tattoos on my arms, and she sort of blushes at the sight of me catching her. “Hi, Alex,” I say trying to kill the awkwardness in the air. “Hi, Y/N,” she says back shyly. 

Alex and I have a teammate relationship that strictly stays on the pitch. We work really well together when we’re both on the field, but that hasn’t happened till the game tonight and we all know how that one ended. I normally keep to myself or I just stick to either Ash or Ali just because I know they’ll protect me if anything should happen. Alex and I don’t really interact outside the stadium, so tonight’s already starting out awkward. Thanks, Kelley...

Kelley finally sets Luna down asking if we’re ready for drinks, which of course we are. “Yes, please. I gotta buy you a round after your win tonight,” I say to Kelley who just gives me a cheesy grin and two thumbs up. Alex says the Uber should be here already, I tell them to head out while I lock everything up. I end up sitting in the back with Kelley since Alex knows where all the good bars are. 

When we finally reach the street we’ve been looking for, I notice Alex is just out in front of us not really sticking to the group that much. “How’s she doing? If you don’t mind me asking,” Kelley says to me quietly as we follow Alex. “Um, as far as I know, she’s okay. We don’t really talk that much outside of the pitch. Why do you ask?” I answer a little confused by her question. We hear Alex say something about a phone call and that we should go in and she’ll find us. We go in, find a booth and order our drinks. “Okay, so I was asking you because she’s been going through a lot lately and I didn’t know if that was affecting her while she played or whenever she was out of her house,” Kelley says and I look at her confused. She lets out a sigh, “The short story is that she and Servando split up because he didn’t support her life choices, and he told her that he could never love someone like her.” Kelley sips on her beer before continuing, “Their divorce was final right before the start of the season, that’s why she hasn’t been acting like herself lately. She just really needs friends here since I’m not around that much.” I take a long gulp of my drink while I process what she just told me. “Look, I’ll be her friend because she obviously needs someone to talk to. And I can look out for Alex for you and let you know what’s going on,” I say causing her to smile big. “See that’s what I need, both of my best friends being friends,” she says as she clinks our drinks.

By the time Alex finds us, Kelley and I are already four beers in and also several shots in. As she sits down next to Kelley, after ordering her drink, she’s caught in an ‘argument’ between me and Kelley. “I’m just saying you could’ve gotten the ball to the right more, your right foot is your weapon. Use it!” Kelley practically yells at me. “Oh yeah, O’Hara? What about those sloppy passes you were sending to Christen? I know you can do better than that,” I shoot back at her causing her to get all defensive and flustered by my statement. That manages to get a laugh out of Alex, which is great because I don’t think I’ve seen her smile since we left my house. When we all finish our round of drinks, I offer to buy the next round as Kelley jumps up to dance to whatever song is playing in the bar.

Apparently, I’m the only one who can hold their alcohol, because at the end of our night out I’m the one dragging both of them out of two different bars and forcing them into the Uber. “We’re going to Y/N’s house!” I hear Kelley yell from the backseat. I roll my eyes at her and give the poor man my address, and we finally get away from the bar scene for tonight at least. When we get to my place I grab Kelley’s phone from her to send a text to her teammates letting them know where she is and that she’ll be back at the hotel in the morning. And yet again, I have to drag them through my house to the back patio. “Can we pleaseee have more drinks?” they both asked at the same time causing them to laugh (and me as well). Since I know neither of them are leaving my house tonight I give in. I walk over to my bar and grab Kelley the case of beer I bought for tonight, and a bottle of wine for me and Alex to share. 

Kelley, the party animal, plays her music from my outdoor sound system. She jumps up and down to the music around the patio while Alex and I just laugh at our best friend. I sneak inside with Luna, while Alex and Kelley start belting out a 90s hit song that I can’t remember the name to. I blow up the air mattress in the living room before I forget, or before I’m too drunk to remember to. I leave Luna asleep on the air mattress whenever I slip back outside. I take my spot next to Alex who’s listening to Kelley tell a story about a match she played in back when she was at Stanford. I take the opportunity to steal one of Kelley’s (my) beers.

As Kelley laughs at the end of her story, I take full advantage of the situation by recording her for my Instagram story. The music changes, although Kelley doesn’t notice because of her laughing. I recognize the song and start humming to it and begin swaying in my seat to the music, as I’m doing that I notice Alex go to stand up from her spot next to me. She sets the wine bottle down on the table and turns to me. “Do you wanna dance?” Alex manages to ask through drunken slurs with her hand out. I, in turn, let out a drunken laugh and then I take her hand pulling her close as we start dancing side to side, singing to the song. Kelley disappeared at some point but I don’t notice because I’m focused on Alex. Alex starts laughing, but before I realize at what, I focus in on her eyes. They were absolutely mesmerizing, and the way her face looks as she laughs is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. And oh god her laugh, it could cure any sadness. Wait, why am I looking at Alex like this and why is she laughing? “Kelley!” I laugh out, “Go put Luna back to bed before I make you go to bed.” As Kelley hurries back inside, I notice me and Alex are still embraced, but we aren’t dancing anymore. I pull away first, as smoothly as I can in my drunken state. I reach for my drink and sit back down in my spot and finally feel the buzz from all the alcohol I’ve consumed tonight.

After what feels like forever, Kelley comes back out to the patio. Except this time she has on different clothes, my clothes of course. I laugh loudly when I see her, because like I said before I’m five inches taller than her so that makes my t-shirts look like dresses on her. She does a little twirl showing us her whole outfit before going back to drinking her beer. Our night goes on about the same as it started, Kelley is showing off her dance moves, Alex is relaxing more, and I’m just really enjoying their company. 

I look at the clock on the wall to see what time of night it was, knowing that Kelley has to be up in the morning to meet her team and that I have to be up for my hike with Ali and Ash around the same time Kelley has to leave. “Okay,” I slur out, “Kelley has to be up in the morning and Krashlyn will kill me if I’m not up when they get here in the morning.” Kelley and Alex laugh in agreement to the last part. I stand up from the couch, gulp down the last of my beer and snag the practically empty wine bottle from Alex’s grasp.

Like how the rest of the night has gone, except with way more alcohol in our systems, I have to drag both of them back inside my house. The house is filled with drunken giggles whenever I leave them on my couch while I head to the kitchen. I grab the headache meds and bottles of water for everyone before walking back to my drunk friends. “Someone can sleep on the air mattress with Luna and the other person, whoever it is, can sleep with me upstairs, or you can both sleep down here with Luna. I don’t really care either way,” I slur as I say my goodnights while I walk up the stairs to my room. I collapse on my bed when I finally reach my room, as I do my phone dings. I look and, of course, it’s my group message with Sonny, Sammy, and Lindsey. Sonny and Lindsey have been arguing about who misses me the most (of course I know it’s Sonny) and Sammy is talking about how Rose’s dog doesn’t like her as much as Luna does. I remind all three of them that I did just see them all last week and that I’ll see them for National Team training pretty soon. I finally tell them to go to bed, send them all (especially Sonny) my love, and I plug my phone back in.

I decide that I really don’t want my bed to smell like sweat, beer, wine and whatever else Kelley managed to get me to drink in the morning. So I get up and take a hot shower. When I come out of my bathroom I hear a knock on my door, expecting Kelley to ask for more blankets like always. When I open the door I’m welcomed by a very drunk and smiley Alex Morgan. “Coould I borrow some clothess?” she manages to get out between giggles. I just laugh and nod my head to her question. I have to help her walk to my bed because walking is not Drunk Alex’s forte. I sit her down, give her a small smirk and turn to grab clothes for her to wear. I hand her the clothes and help her carefully to the bathroom so she can change. “Call if you need any help,” I say and she just smiles as I close the door. It doesn’t take her too long to come back out of the bathroom. I look up at her as she thanks me and tells me goodnight again before heading back downstairs.

I finally get into bed after a very long day and an even longer night. I set my alarm and shut off my bedside table lamp before turning to my side with my body pillow. As I was just about to fall asleep, I hear a noise outside my door. Confused, I get up out of bed and open my door. And there she is, with her killer smile and stunning blue eyes.

“Can I sleep with you?”

To be Continued

[tabloidtoc]

Us, July 27

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Kelly Preston’s tragic final days

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Draya Michele vs. Betty Gilpin vs. Emmanuelle Chriqui ✅ vs. Heidi Montag vs. Nina Dobrev in a Signature corset jumpsuit 

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Demi Lovato on how lockdown has helped her emotional growth, Keke Palmer on the Black Lives Matter movement, Thandie Newton on eventually naming names from her early days in Hollywood, Charlize Theron sharing how stressful it was to teach her kids during the pandemic, Orlando Bloom gushing about how he can’t wait to meet his future daughter with Katy Perry 

Page 8: Contents 

Page 10: Hot Pics -- Jennifer Lopez in the middle of a donut-shaped pool float 

Page 12: Selena Gomez in her yard, Ireland Baldwin goes for a dip in the Pacific 

Page 13: Expectant parents Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner step out to grab a bite in matching masks, Duchess Camilla and Prince Charles pay their respects at an Asda distribution center 

Page 14: Sarah Jessica Parker at the grand opening of her flagship shoe store, Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union let loose at an outdoor party

Page 16: Hot Wheels -- these famous dudes ride in style -- Justin Bieber and J Balvin, Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun, Jesse Metcalfe, Dominic Cooper, George Clooney 

Page 17: Wiz Khalifa, Ewan McGregor in a VW Camper, Miles Teller 

Page 18: Sweet Escape -- stars stretch their legs in distant places -- Chrissy Teigen in Cabo San Lucas, Dua Lipa and Anwar Hadid in St. Lucia, Kylie Jenner in Canyon Point, Utah 

Page 19: Shay Mitchell in Vancouver, Mario Lopez and wife Courtney in Lake Tahoe, Kevin Hart on a yacht, Brooke Burke in Page, Arizona 

Page 20: Checkered Out -- A-listers are mad for plaid face masks -- Busy Philipps, Reese Witherspoon, Patrick Dempsey, Mindy Kaling 

Page 22: Stars They’re Just Like Us -- Malin Akerman loads up on groceries, Taye Diggs and son Walker toss around a ball, Prince William drinks beer, Adam Sandler pumps gas 

Page 23: Owen Wilson buys fresh fruit, Ayesha and Stephen Curry go hiking, Brooke Shields drops off the mail 

Page 24: Love Lives -- Bindi Irwin and Chandler Powell being newlyweds during a pandemic has been a whirlwind 

Page 25: Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher have made it to their 10th anniversary, Russell Wilson still knows how to make Ciara giddy with joy, Sarah Hyland is OK with putting her wedding to Wells Adams on hold 

Page 26: Hollywood Moms -- Kelly Rowland on her son Titan 

Page 27: Rebecca Gayheart is adamant about teaching daughter Billie and Georgia the importance of giving back, Kenya Moore and Marc Daly are still figuring things out in their marriage but they’re talking about having baby No. 2, Christina Milian talks about coparenting daughter Violet with ex-husband The-Dream 

Page 28: Hot Hollywood -- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on good terms -- they’re putting their differences aside for the sake of their children 

Page 29: After everything Meghan Markle’s estranged father Thomas Markle has put her through he still wants a relationship but Meghan isn’t interested -- the only relative in Meghan’s inner circle is her mom Doria Ragland who’s been helping with 14-month-old Archie, Lisa Marie Presley is beside herself after son Benjamin Keough died by suicide at age 27, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are sticking together through thick and thin 

Page 30: A Day in the Life -- Hilaria Baldwin 

Page 31: In a recent interview Thandie Newton admitted to being so scared of Tom Cruise while filming 2000′s Mission: Impossible 2 and a few days after the jaw-dropping interview Cruise’s ex-wife Katie Holmes gave the actress what seemed like tacit agreement by following Thandie on Instagram 

Page 32: Cover Story -- Remembering Kelly Preston -- fans and loved ones including husband John Travolta mourn her death 

Page 34: Naya Rivera -- heartbreak on the lake -- the world’s worst fears are realized after Naya who went missing on July 8 is finally found 

Page 36: Jessica Simpson forty and fabulous 

Page 42: Beauty -- light up your staycation with a candle that creates the ambience of your dreams 

Page 44: Us Musts -- Ben and Jessa Seewald of Counting On on their growing family 

Page 45: Ester Dean on Songland 

Page 46: Fashion Police -- denim edition -- Sela Vave, Jennifer Lopez, Maisie Williams 

Page 47: Celine Dion, Cara Delevingne, Kim Kardashian 

Page 48: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me -- Danica McKellar 

[weeb-alcove]

2020 English Playlist

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL77pv5URcE8ZBT4DTVUYXWSn9BPeC4JOL

In English:

100 Ways - Jackson Wang

21 - Gracie Abrams

88rising ♪ from their album Head in the Clouds ♬ History La Cienega

♪ from their album Head in the Clouds II ♬ 2 the Face  La La Lost You Need Is Your Love 

Aliso - Dylan Jordan

A Little Messed Up - June

All the Stars - Kendrick Lamar & SZA

All You Need to Know - Gryffin & Slander & Calle Lehmann

Are You Bored Yet? - Wallows & Clairo

Ariana Grande Goodnight n Go  Stuck with U

♪ from her album Positions ♬ Just Like Magic Motive  Positions

At Least I Look Cool - Sasha Sloan

Au/ra Broken Ideas

Ava Max Kings & Queens  Slow Dance

BØRNS American Money Faded Heart Past Lives

Baby I’m Yours - Arctic Monkeys

Backyard Boy - Claire Rosinkranz

Bad - Lennon Stella

Bad Idea - pxzvc & Shiloh Dynasty

Bad Ideas - Tessa Violet

Bedsheets - Tia

Be Okay - Jordan Fisher

Blackbear ♪ from his album everything means nothing ♬ Half Alive If I Were U  me & ur ghost Queen of Broken Hearts

Boy Pablo Beach House Dance, Baby!  Hey Girl

Breaking Me - Topic & A7S

Breathe Again - Corbyn

Bright Side of the Moon - Christian French

Broken Hearts - Davai & Lovespeake

Broken Record - Golden

Busy - Axel Mansoor

Call - Ocean Heights

Cancer - Twenty One Pilots

Candy Choppa - Warrenisyellow & Chasu

Cardiac Arrest - Bad Suns

Carsick - Maro

Cheat Codes Between Our Hearts  Stay

Choke - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Cigarettes - Carlie Hanson

Clean - Hey Violet

Cologne - Alec Wigdahl

Come Through - Eric Nam

Conan Gray ♪ from his album Kid Krow ♬ Affluenza  Checkmate  Comfort Crowd  Fight or Flight  Little League Wish You Were Sober 

Cool Out - Imagine Dragons

Cutepink - Lukey & Raphael

Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

Daydreamer - Kidsnot$aints

dhruv Double Take  Moonlight

Doin’ Time - Lana Del Rey

Do You Love Me - Stephanie Poetri

Dreams Where Ur Murdered - X Lovers

Drunk Me - Davin Kingston

Dua Lipa Un Dia (One Day) 

♪ from her album Future Nostalgia ♬ Break My Heart  Love Again 

Far Away - Qaayel, Cnebce

Far Away - Utah & Kyl

Fletcher ♪ from her album The S(ex) Tapes ♬ If I Hated You Shh… Don’t Say It Silence  The One

Free Love - Honne

Gallant ♪ from his album Sweet Insomnia ♬ Compromise Sweet Insomnia

Get You - Daniel Caesar & Kali Uchis

Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Halsey Be Kind  Graveyard

Harry Styles ♪ from his album Fine Line ♬ Sunflower, Vol. 6  Watermelon Sugar

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Hell and High Water - Major Lazer & Diplo & Alessia Cara

Holiday - Lil Nas X

Homage - Mild High Club

Honey - Tyler Sellers

Hot Tub Dream Machine - Tobi Lou

Hummingbird - Mark Diamond

Hush - Ricky Himself & Kailee Morgue

I Don’t Know Why (Ellis Remix) - NOTD & Astrid S & Ellis

I Don’t Want No Champagne - Chimmi

i go high, you go low - Matt Sato

ily (I Love You Baby) - Surf Mesa & Emilee

Intentions - Justin Bieber & Quavo

Isaac Dunbar God, This Feels Good Intimate Moments Miss America Woman On the Hills 

♪ from his album Isaac’s Insects ♬ Comme Des Garcons Makeup Drawer Scorton’s Creek 

Jaden ♪ from his album CTV3: Cool Tape Vol. 3 ♬  Everything  Falling for You LUCY! 

Joji ♪ from his album Nectar ♬ Daylight Gimme Love  Pretty Boy Run 

July on Film - Zeauxi

Just Buried! - iamnotshane

Justice Carradine Limbo  Necessary Evil 

K/DA ♪ from their album All Out ♬ More  Villain

Keshi Don’t Leave 

♪ from his album always ♬ Always Drunk

Khalid Be Like That  Off the Grid  Suncity 

Lauv Mine (You Can’t Find Love in Mollywood) Slow Grenade Who

Little Mix ♪ from their album Confetti ♬ Not a Pop Song  Sweet Melody

Loneliness for Love - lovelytheband

Lonely - Finding Hope

Lostboycrow Candy Wine Devil’s in the Backseat  The World’s Always Been Ending

Lotus Inn - Why Don’t We

Love Birds - wimp

Love in My Pocket - Rich Brian & Eaj

Love Lost - Harbour

Love Me Like a Friend - Fly By Midnight

Mad at Disney - Salem Ilese

Madison Beer All Day and Night  Hurts Like Hell Selfish

Magic in the Hamptons - Lil Yachty & Social House

MAX Naked Take Over 

♪ from his album Colour Vision ♬ Blueberry Eyes New Life Working for the Weekend 

Medicine - Shawn Wasabi & Tia Scola

Monsta X ♪ from their album All About Luv ♬ Got My Number Happy Without Me Love U 

Moonmap - Meego

My Favourite Clothes - Rini

Natalie Don’t - Raye

Neon Trees ♪ from their album I Can Feel You Forgetting Me ♬ New Best Friend  Nights 

New Hope Club Paycheck Worse

♪ from their album New Hope Club ♬ Flight Away Just to Find Love Know Me Too Well Remember We Broke Up in a Dream

Next to You - Becky G & Digital Farm Animals & Rvssian

Nico Collins Happy?  Our Way Out We’ll Never Make It 

Niki Dancing with the Devil I Like U  Spell Sugarplum Elegy Vintage

♪ from her album Moonchild ♬ Nightcrawlers Plot Twist Tide 

Ok On Your Own - mxmtoon & Carly Rae Jepsen

Older - Shallou & Daya & Felix Cartal

On the Low - Justin Park

Paradise - Lil Uzi Vert

Paragraphs - Luke Chiang

Peach Tree Rascals Mariposa  Not Ok 

Pink Sweat$ At My Worst Icy

Play Date - Melanie Martinez

Post Malone (GATTUSO Remix) - Sam Feldt & RANI

Pure Imagination - Unclenathannn & Shiloh Dynasty

Quinn XCII ♪ from his album A Letter To My Younger Self ♬ Coffee  Sleep While I Drive 

R3HAB Am I the Only One Dream of You  Make Friends One More Dance Whiplash

Rabbit Hole - AViVA

Real Love - Rei Brown

Rockets - Waki

Ruel Empty Love Up to Something 

Runaway - Tiffany Young & Babyface

San Francisco - Galantis & Sofia Carson

Scrambled - Havelock

Selena Gomez Boyfriend It Ain’t Me 

Shawn Mendes ♪ from his album Wonder ♬ 305 Teach Me How to Love 

Someone Else - Duncan Laurence

Space Makes Me Sad - Fiji Blue

Splash - Public

Star City Cafe - Hevel & Evito

Stay with Me - ayokay & Jeremy Zucker

Sunlight - Maty Noyes

Surf. - Wave to Earth

Take Yourself Home - Troye Sivan

Tell Me U Luv Me - Juice WRLD & Trippie Red

Therefore I Am - Billie Eilish

The Vamps Burn  Hair Too Long  Part of Me

Tiffany Day Clout Chaser  Commitment Issues Gonna Be Okay

Time Flies - Drake

Tomorrow Tonight - Loote

Up All Night - Clevt

ur just a fan - Suggi

Watching You Walk Away - Stephen Puth

Will Jay ♪ from his album Perfectionist ♬ Must Be Nice  Talking to Myself  Writing a Song Pt. 1

Yellow Roses - Charlie Powers

Young Heart - Kara Marni & Russ

Zayn Rumors Scripted

In Spanish: 

Clandestina - FILV & Edmofo & Emma Petersz

Electronic:

Howls Moving Castle - Theodor Ellefsen