#usually they wouldn't actually live there at all

[cockkette]

baby alonso

charles leclerc x alonso!reader

warnings - swearing, google translate spanish, dad!fernando, tomfoolery + shenanigans (it is alonso!reader so are we suprised), i think that's it xoxo

face claim - girls on pinterest

y/n.alonso

liked by astonmartinf1, fernandoalo_oficial and 409,345 others

y/n.alonso: causing chaos in the aston garage per usual 😘

comments

astonmartinf1: not too much chaos though... right

y/n.alonso: of course

fernandoalo_oficial: my daughter is an angel and can do no wrong 🤨

user1: praise the alonso father daughter duo we all say in unison

user2: and to think this man committed war crimes

y/n.alonso: allegedly* 🙄

liked by fernandoalo_oficial

fernandoalo_oficial: now that you finished with that waste of time you can come to every race just like when you were little cariño!!

y/n.alonso: by 'that waste of time' do you mean the university that you payed for?

fernandoalo_oficial: yes i'm glad we are on the same page mija 🩷

user3: you heard it here first fernando alonso says university isn't important

astonmartinf1: this is not the view if the aston martin f1 team or any of our sponsors

user4: is he trying to kill admin?

astonmartinf1: i fear he might be 🥲

user5: baby alonso is the paddock princess

user6: she is living the dream for real

y/n.alonso: it is pretty sweet being a nepo child 💪

lance_stroll: you know it 😎

user7: i'm praying for aston points

y/n.alonso: hang on i'll pull some strings brb

y/n.alonso: dad! lance! score some points!

liked by astonmartinf1

user8: she's so pretty 😍

charles_leclerc: she really is

carlossainz55: bro do you actually have a death wish

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll see you on the track leclerc 🙂

y/n.alonso: papá!

astonmartinf1

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, y/n.alonso and 245,071 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, lance_stroll and y/n.alonso

astonmartinf1: race weekend with a special guest 😉

comments

user9: we love baby alonso

user10: BABY ALONSO

user11: get her to sort aston martin tf out

y/n.alonso: guys i'm trying my best 😔

fernandoalo_oficial: mija lawrence is going to make me go to another pr training session if you keep doing this

user12: the king can't get locked up in pr jail!!

charles_leclerc: i might have to swing by the aston garage 😉

fernandoalo_oficial: you might fucking not

charles_leclerc: yes fernando, sorry fernando

user13: charles is going to get himself run off the track

user14: charles is a braver man than me fernando might kill him

y/n.alonso: thank you for having me! it's always so so much fun 🩷

liked by astonmartinf1

user15: petition for y/n to be at every race ever please

user16: where do i sign

user17: her paddock fits are literally everything to me

lance_stroll: she has started to give me fashion tips to 'inspire' me please don't encourage her

danielricciardo: you might want to start taking the advice...

lance_stroll: oh 😦

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by y/n.alonso, charles_leclerc and 324,391 others

fernandoalo_oficial: i think i need to fire my new race engineer she's mean

comments

y/n.alonso: boo 👎👎

fernandoalo_oficial: don't boo your own father

y/n.alonso: don't be a boring old man

sebastianvettel: she's got you there mate

fernandoalo_oficial: what the fuck are you doing here!?

jensonbutton: she gagged you fr 💅

aussiegrit: ate and left no crumbs

sebastianvettel: slay 💋

fernandoalo_oficial: what is actually happening

user18: i swear they will never miss an opportunity to try humble nando

liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and aussiegrit

user19: i'm sure charles wouldn't mind having y/n as a race engineer

fernandoalo_oficial: no.

user20: the way i would never speak again

user21: noo i would love them together

liked by charles_leclerc

user22: in my head they ARE together

astonmartinf1: i mean we did get points this weekend soooo...

y/n.alonso: you're welcome xxx

y/n.alonso

liked by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 283,912 others

y/n.alonso: home sweet home 🏠

comments

user23: how is charles always in the likes before me? i have notifications on?!?

charles_leclerc: you snooze you lose mate

user24: he really is just like us (in love with y/n)

user25: too bad he's too scared of alonso to do anything about it 🤷‍♀️

yourbestfriend: your outfits always eat pretty girl!

y/n.alonso: aww thank you baby

user26: oh to be called baby by y/n

liked by charles_leclerc

fernandoalo_oficial: have fun!

fernandoalo_oficial: not too much fun though be careful and safe

y/n.alonso: yes papa

user27: he forgot who his daughter was for a second there

liked by fernandoalo_oficial

astonmartinf1: see you next race week!

y/n.alonso: wouldn't miss it!

user28: yesss

iamrebeccad: i miss you (and your gossip)

y/n.alonso: miss you too (don't worry i have plenty more)

user29: show it to me rachel!!!!

charles_leclerc: i'm in madrid too we should meet up

fernandoalo_oficial: what are you doing??

y/n.alonso: i might take you up on that offer cha 🤭

fernandoalo_oficial: noooo stop this

user30: this is sending me 😂

user31: the way they are fully ignoring him

user32: i won't ever get over y/n calling him cha

liked by charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc

liked by y/n.alonso, carlossainz55and 592,842 others

charles_leclerc: time to unwind

comments

user33: wait is that y/n???

user34: it totally looks like her

user35: my chay/n heart can't take this

user36: the matching shirt with the dress? please!!!

user37: charles + spain = slaggy pictures

user38: and we thank him for it

liked by y/n.alonso

user39: omg y/n does not give a fuck

carlossainz55: where was my invite bro?

charles_leclerc: i'm so sorry i was too busy...

carlosainz55: i thought it was bros before hoes

chalres_leclerc: nah my hoe is 4 life

user40: so unserious i swear

pierregasly: i love knowing things nobody else knows

user41: tell me please

user42: pierre is my biggest opp rn

pierregasly: don't hate the player hate the game

user43: he is the king of gossip

liked by charles_leclerc

user44: i've been manifesting this for months i hope it's y/n

user45: oh so you're crazy crazy?

y/n.alonso

liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc and 12,812 others

caption- look who i bumped into 😉

replies

charles_leclerc: you say this like we didn't come here together

y/n.alonso: i'm trying to be mysterious and nonchalant

charles_leclerc: dork 🤓

y/n.alonso: you know you love it

user46: OMG

user47: this is so important to me

fernandoalo_oficial: tell him not to try anything

y/n.alonso: whatever papa 🙄

charles_leclerc

liked by y/n.alonso, carlossainz55 and 872,849 others

tagged: y/n.alonso

charles_leclerc: happy 6 months mon amour 🩷

comments

user48: they are already my favorite couple ever

user49: the way i will be yapping about them i am about to get at least 10 times more annoying

user50: as you should tbh

user51: i'm so so happy for them but this might take fernando out

user52: i just know he is being restrained by aston martin rn so he can't comment

astonmartinf1: 🤐

user53: the goat is being silenced

pierregasly: now the secret is out i feel less special

user54: it's a tough life out here for the gossipy hoes

pierregasly: don't i know it

y/n.alonso: i love you

charles_leclerc: i love you more

user55: ew are they going to start being sappy on main now

pierregasly: i fear they might

liked by charles_leclerc and y/n.alonso

oscarpiastri: bwoah

user56: felt that

user57: charles has... game?

maxverstappen1: we are all as surprised as you are mate

user58: flabbergasted fr

maxverstappen1: he bamboozled us all with his loserness

user59: max i know you're not talking rn

y/n.alonso

liked by iamrebeccad, charles_leclerc and 17251 others

caption- this jacket looks supa cute!

replies

fernandoalo_oficial: ewww it's so ugly 🤢

y/n.alonso: papa i'm sorry for not telling you about charles earlier

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm not over it yet i feel betrayed

fernandoalo_oficial: i just need time mija

y/n.alonso: you are so dramatic old man

fernandoalo_oficial: what the sigma?

user60: my favorite wag and nepo baby

charles_leclerc: please tell me you bought it mon coeur

y/n.alonso: yep! and when you get back to the hotel i'll be waiting for you wearing just that

charles_leclerc: fuck i'm on my way right now i'll just get the food delivered you aren't going anywhere

y/n.alonso: yes sir

charles_leclerc: you kill me cherie

user61: I JUST KNOW CHARLES IS LOSING HIS SHIT

charles_leclerc

liked by yourbestfriend, fernandoalo_oficial and 436,592 others

tagged: y/n.alonso

charles_leclerc: my ferrari girl ❤️

comments

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm still mad but no one told me but this is actually kind of cute ig

charles_leclerc: woo he likes me now

y/.alonso: don't push it amor 💋

user62: i'm sobbing he loves her so much

user63: if my bf ain't like this then i don't want it

y/n.alonso: he is pretty great icl

fernandoalo_oficial: i think i preferred when i didn't know about this... now you don't shut up about him

user64: she is so me

y/n.alonso: i'm you're ferrari girl

charles_leclerc: that's right baby

user65: shut up shut up i can't handle this

user66: they are literally everything

user67: i don't know how charles managed to hide this for 6 months

user68: now he posts y/n all the time 🤭

user69: ikr its so cute!!

carlossainz55: he can't keep a secret to save his life so he just yapped to me and pierre all. the. time

pierregasly: and he wasn't exactly subtle in the comments 🤨

scuderiaferrari: y/n is a ferrari girl confirmed 😦

liked by y/n.alonso

user70: everyone is a ferrari fan

user71: even if they are not, they are a ferrari fan

a/n - thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed and as always any feedback is apppreciated <3

[stxneflxwers]

pillowy.

⋯⁂ summary. thighs make very good pillows, apparently.

⋯⁂ a/n. thighs 💕. that's it that's the post

⋯⁂ characters. aventurine. dr ratio. kafka. hanya. gn reader.

⋯⁂ cw. physical affection. established relationship(s). fluff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all lowercase.

aventurine.

♤. the moment you flop your head onto his lap, his slender thighs, he lets out a surprised huff and blinks down at you. needless to say, his curiosity is piqued, it's apparent by looking at his widened eyes.

when he finally figures out you're simply resting there, he shrugs it off and smiles. his little grin is tender, fond of your own far less dramatic antics. he needs someone every now and again to reign him in, doesn't he? you're the perfect person for that, he thinks. not that he'd be caught admitting that, though.

as he scrolls through his phone with one hand, his other hand finds itself absent-mindedly resting on you – whether it be on your head or back. his thumb idly rubs tiny, comforting circles against your skin. it's damn near enough to lull you to sleep.

dr ratio.

♣️. veritas is quick to ask you what the hell you think you're doing, but he's not truly against the idea of you resting your head on his plush thighs. he was simply thrown off-guard. you do have your strange habits and behaviors, of course. he's great at predicting what you'll do next, but when his defensive walls are down, he's much easier to surprise.

before you can move off of his lap and apologize for upsetting him, he'll murmur a simple, "...stay." and that's enough for you to do exactly that – stay.

the cozier you get on his lap, the closer you get to drifting off into dreamland. when you do fall asleep as he reads one of his numerous books, he smiles. he's never been so implicitly trusted like this by someone before. and he couldn't ask for any other person to trust him so whole-heartedly.

kafka.

♢. this was all her idea, actually. she was curious, and wished to bring you some comfort to your tumultuous lives. the moment you rest your head on her thighs, you let out a long sigh of relief and smile up at her. she smiles back – this one seems different, though. it's kinder, softer.

her smiles often look empty or threatening, but this one was so different. and you can tell, in this moment, she's comfortable and content with you resting on her lap.

she's not quite certain why you trust her as much as you do, but she wouldn't trade your trust or your smiles for the world.

hanya.

♥️. hanya, at worst, is difficult to handle – her severe depression and attachment issues can make life a struggle for you both. but you often remind her that you cherish and adore her with all of your heart. it's usually enough to bring her peace of mind and a pink tint to her cheeks.

...however, actions speak louder than words.

sure, you accidentally spook her sometimes with your random gestures of affection. but she's so quick to forgive you for each one. like now, as your head rests on her pillowy thighs. she forgave you for suddenly dropping your head onto her lap before either of you even said anything. you smile sheepishly at her, and she sweetly smiles back.

she never thought she'd enjoy this type of domesticity as much as she does right now. but, she supposes there's always something out there that can pleasantly surprise her every now and again.

[helslastangel]

Vesta in the Signs

Note: This post will be updated consistently until all signs are included, so feel free to comment your Vesta sign and follow the post so you'll know when I add yours. <3

Vesta in Aries

A lot of people talk about looking out for #1, but you? You actually do it. You're highly independent and focused on your personal goals and achievements. It feels good to be on the move towards a worthy destination. Sitting around being stagnant isn't an option as far as you're concerned, and frankly? If other people decide to get in the way, you're quick to tell them where they can go and how to get there.

Your main priority is you.

Vesta in Taurus

When it comes to spotting and producing quality, no one can compete with you. Maybe others just pose as being the eagle-eyed, discriminating type, but you're 100% about that life. If something won't be made well, you'd rather it just not be made at all. If you're going to make or create something, it's not seeing the light of day until it's worthy. The gift of patience and persistence is yours. You can't be rushed and you're not one to give up on anything you've started. Once you find a comfortable routine and get in the zone, you're good to go.

Your main priority is to get results.

Vesta in Gemini

You're a lifelong student of the world. Without new opportunities to gain knowledge, you might just wither away. 😶‍🌫️ That is a fate you will avoid at any cost. So, over the years, you've become good at pulling information out of people and places that others wouldn't dream of. You live to know, rather than settle for knowing just enough to live. Your greatest fear could be anything, but boredom and isolation are far higher on the shortlist than death itself. Life for you is a series of teachable moments and intriguing experiences.

Your main priority is to learn.

Vesta in Cancer

Your home is your castle. Literally. You value your peace and are devoted to establishing a safe space for yourself and your loved ones. You're highly protective of your energy and anyone invited into the privacy of your home is usually someone special and trusted. It's an honor that you have no issue revoking if it's taken for granted. Creature comforts are never too far away when you're nearby. You enjoy nurturing others and are usually the mom friend in some way, regardless of gender. You're emotional but others usually overlook this because you're so caring.

Your main priority is your home & family.

[phamianaz]

drama

✦ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ✦ it was their phoning group live and it was supposed to be all lively and happy.. but what happened to you and hyein?

✦ 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

✦ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 ✦ i keep seeing hyein having these vibes of gossip girls or the brat? idk but this is what i made and im sorry if this isn't a good one but I PROMISE- i rlly promise it gets better at the end ajiwdHDHDDD

⪩ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ੭

the fans noticed it.

the entire livestream where you and hyein haven't spoken once to each other, and it was bothering the fans so much. they wouldn't want any assumptions as hyein from the very previous livestream with danielle and haerin stated...

but they couldn't help that something had actually happened before their live start.

the livestream began as a group— whereas minji sat in the middle with hyein and danielle on the front row, and at the back row where haerin, hanni and you stood.

it was going well at first. with loud greetings, excited tmi talks, laughter and posing for their fans— it was normal and good, just the usual.

and yet, fans haven't noticed any single moments of you and hyein at all. not once, perhaps never in this live.

you stood at the far right at the back row while hyein sat on the far left at the front row. no glances towards each other, nor any small talks— it was like strangers in the same room.

obviously, the girls were also awkward at the tension and tried to ease the mood by replying to the comments and sharing tmi and others. though, it couldn't be said the same thing to the two certain girls.

until one comment pops, "y/n and hyein hates each other now? figured."

it was clear that the one who commented was being serious and mocking, and it was in their intention to make it clear to anyone who's watching now.

thus, followed the other related comments.

- "what happened to them?"

- "another drama? spill the tea girlies!"

- "lol look at those two. prob fought or smth"

you held your phone to look at the comments and saw these, and it bothered you but you didn't let it show in your face. if you do, it would be used against you by other people who don't like you or your group.

but hyein wasn't like you. she showed it in her face; grimacing and rolling her eyes as she dropped her phone onto the table before looking at the camera.

since you were watching the livestream as well, it pained you to see hyein behaving like that— and obviously, it was your fault. it was because of you.

you sighed softly before turning your phone off, sending a small, strained smile towards the camera.

"oh, that's right! it's y/n's birthday in two weeks! she's turning 19!" danielle cheers, clapping excitedly along with the other members.

though, you only smiled and hyein clapped once. you noticed it and decided to ignore it, despite the ache you felt in your chest. however, hanni noticed it clearly and frowned but didn't say a word.

she turns to you, and nudges your arm gently, causing you to look at her. she smiles to assure you, yet you couldn't, only pursing your lips to show that you're in distress and uncomfortable.

there, she holds your hand, facing ahead and goes along with the hyped members who continue to talk to the fans. since then, you could only remember hanni holding your hand and including you to the conversation, even just for a little bit.

after a little while, you decided to check on the comments again since you were feeling a little better than before. but it was cut short when you read one comment that was, harshly, directed to hyein.

- "hyein's such a brat. what an attitude"

you bit your lower lip, wanting to defend the youngest from that person. and you did— you lowered your phone and carefully releasing hanni's hand before raising it up to the air, causing the girls to stop their chattering and look at you.

"sorry, but i just wanted to point this person out because it's not okay to be offensive and aggressive."

you start, clearing your throat. "i want to say that we just finished practicing almost a minute before we started our livestream,"

the girls nodded. "and, if we ever act weird or something, please— it's normal for us to act this way because we're also human. we are tired from the practice, however, we also wanted to have another moment with you guys because you are special to us."

you ended with that, smiling sweetly as you let them know that they are still special and important to you and your girls, despite the constant hardships all of you are facing every day.

"anyways, that's all! and i also think we should end the livestream because we've been up for almost an hour."

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

after the live, you and minji were left alone at the practice room and the other girls leaving to return back to their shared dorm. hyein seemed to be rushing since she left first, as if she was really trying to avoid you.

you were pulled back by minji, who wanted to talk to you about something.

"thanks for making it clear, y/n. i'm glad you pointed it out first before me, because i probably would have said something that could be used against me."

minji sheepishly laughs, but was comforted by you, who slid an arm over her shoulder and a pat on her shoulder. you smile, "it's okay, unnie. i would rather face something worse than you facing another problem like before."

minji pouts and leans her head to yours, "you can't do that.. i'm the eldest, so i'm supposed to-" you hushed her, quickly covering her mouth with your hand causing her to stop from speaking and looked at you.

"better stop with that, unnie." you chuckle before removing your hand, then pulling your arm from her. minji sighs softly, guilt filled her eyes.

"sorry.." you shake your head dismissively, patting her back. "like i said, it's okay. not a big deal for me, really." you reassured her, and soon enough, she seems to ease up and believe you.

silence occurred before it vanished as minji spoke again.

"so, what happened to you and hyein?" she asks, looking at you to observe your expression. you blinked before looking down to the floor.

"... let's talk about it some other day. i'm really tired now."

minji could tell you couldn't tell her the intense situation with hyein, and she understands truly, yet she was still worried about you and hyein. wanting nothing more than you and hyein being happy again.

you and minji finally left the company together, heading to your shared dorm.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

you froze to see hyein sitting on your bed, legs crossed and a small glare that was directly to you. you don't know what to think or say in this situation, but you definitely look like an idiot just standing there that caused hyein to scoff.

"we need to talk, unnie."

you should feel relief to call you 'unnie' like usual, but something in her tone was bothering you a lot. you frowned and slowly dropped your bag onto the floor, taking four steps forward before stopping.

"hyein-ah-" hyein raised her hand to you, causing you to bite your lip and look down. you started to feel the angst inside you, and you don't like how hyein started to behave like this around you.

it was starting to feel so suffocating.

hyein, right now, is acting entirely different— so different and so cold towards you. and it made you tear up without your consent. a sob escaped from your lips, causing hyein to flinch and stare at you with wide eyes.

it was like a mother scolding her daughter— hyein sitting on your bed while you stood there in front of her, crying quietly onto your palms.

"u-unnie," hyei stutters, voice cracked as she frantically stood up and headed to you. whimper and small sobs still continues, and the ache in your heart was all you could feel.

"i-i'm sorry, hyein—" you choked, "i.. i don't know what i did to you, but i'm so so sorry." and god, hyein felt so terrible right now. she just wanted to talk to you about the issues between you and her, but now, you're crying.

and it was because of her.

hyein embraced you tightly, removing your hands from your face and just wrapped her arms around your neck to comfort you. her eyes turning glassy, and she whispers apologies to your ears.

"unnie, i'm sorry- i didn't mean to make you cry." she sniffles, trying to stop herself from crying but alas, she cries with you. you tighten your arms around her, apologizing non-stop and telling her that you really love her and that you're sorry for everything you've done wrong to her.

it made hyein feel even more terrible and horrible. why did she have to act like that towards you? it wasn't unusual for you to cry, be it for something or for someone; you're a very emotional person and all of them knows that.

hyein didn't forget about it— how could she? she loves you very much and knows everything about you like a real family. but when she knows now that the reason you're crying is because of her?

oh, hyein has never hated herself more than anything.

hyein buries her face onto your neck, soaking your skin with her tears while her hands continue to stroke your back and head to comfort you. "please, don't cry, unnie.. i'm sorry."

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

"... you're so mean, hyein."

haerin sighs in disappointment, with a hint of disbelief of what she just heard. she watched as hyein sobbed and rants at her, face flat on her bed with haerin- the owner of the bed - sat next to her sobbing state form.

"i didn't mean to make her cry," hyein turns her head to the side. upon looking at her horrible face, haerin once again sighs and pats her back comfortingly. "she already forgives you, hyein."

true. after you were done crying with the youngest, both of you had a proper talk, finally, and forgave each other sincerely. you made it sure to let her know that she made you feel incredibly sad and that you were sorry that you cried out of no where.

hyein, however, never stopped apologizing. truthfully, she looks even more sad than you did because she kept on crying and hugging her. you just laugh at her state, saying that she looks ridiculous and funny right now.

after all that, hyein made her way to haerin's room to rant and cry about what she did to you. and haerin was just done with the drama.

"i'm glad that you and y/n are okay now.. but you need to stop crying, hyein. you're soaking my bed." haerin deadpanned, seeing hyein cried even more and burying her face deeper onto the bed.

haerin will make her wash her bedsheets, definitely.

[mikuni14]

The On1y One - Ep 12

I have mixed feelings about the finale of this beautiful series.

First, I'll write what I particularly liked, which is something that relatively rarely appears in BL series, which is the correct portrayal of teenage boys in terms of sex 😊 Usually, it is shown that they are either very experienced, like adult porn actors, or the seme is very experienced and the uke blushes and shies away from the slightest touch, or neither of them is interested in sex.

In The On1y One, horny teenage boys are horny, they're aroused by even the smallest things, they fantasize about sex, whose thoughts about sex come at the most inconvenient moments, who panic, who at the same time want to be close, but who are also terrified by closeness (like Tian, ​​who was afraid to even lie in the same bed with Wang). And who randomly get erections.

It was so real in its naturalness, panic and awkwardness.

My mixed feelings mainly come down to the fact that I lacked closure. I don't like it when I feel like the story is unfinished (I'm not talking about cliffhangers or ambiguous endings) , when in a series a particular season doesn't end with some kind of clasp that ties together what happened throughout the season . I expected that this season (not even knowing if there would be a second one) probably wouldn't end with them starting a romantic relationship, but I expected some kind of conclusion between them. I would even accept their separation, the "break-up" of their relationship, if I knew that they knew where they stood together and, most importantly, TOGETHER MADE THIS DECISION, however heartbreaking it was. I miss their communication here at the end, and after all, they talked to each other the entire series, talking about their own feelings. I keep repeating that I have to feel equality in a relationship to be involved in it, and unfortunately I can't help but feel that Tian is the one who is the most wronged and hurt in this relationship. It was Wang who made the decision that hurt Tian so much, it was Tian who was abandoned again, even though he thought that THIS TIME, it would be different, when, for the first time in his life, he trusted, believed, had hope, had home. It was Wang who had nerves of steel and an analytical mind, who assessed the situation and made the best decision, while Tian only watched from the sidelines with a broken heart, being faced with a situation that had already happened, having no influence on the unfolding events. Of course Wang suffers, I do not deny it to him at all, I know he's hurt too. His first love, first fascination, first infatuation is so unfortunate, and it is not his fault, nor his beloved's. And I perfectly understand his decision, his choice. Wang actually has a very analytical mind, who assesses what he sees, he's also completely devoid of any illusions about reality. He immediately deciphered Jia Hao, his realistic view of the world can also be seen in his contacts with Tian, ​​his family, the rest of the class, the teachers. Similarly, we see him analyzing his relationship with Tian, ​​when he recalls the scenes with him and calmly comes to the conclusion that what he feels is love and - in my opinion - he also knows that Tian has feelings for him. And he immediately comes to another conclusion that this feeling has no future - at least not now. His internal monologue is very telling, when he states that he knows what he feels, but they are brothers.

The contrast between him and Tian is very interesting, although Tian is also very analytical, smart and in tune with his feelings. Only that when Tian knows his feelings, he is able to simply live with them and love Sheng from afar, while Wang cannot live in hiding and it's hard for him not to act on these feelings, which is visible in how much he wants to be close to Tian, how he finds excuses to be with him and how he knows that he cannot and how he knows that he has to give them space, because he will not control it in the end.

And all of this is ok and logical and consistent with their characters, and they both suffer, but Tian suffers much more and only follows Sheng's decisions. And there is no closure to their shared story, there is nothing that the viewer would judge as yes, they know about each other and they make this difficult decision to "break up" together.

The teachers' storyline was cut off just as abruptly, the series also dropped a bombshell about where Tian's scar came from… and leave it at that.

Looking at this ending objectively, I understand everything. The finale was beautiful, heartbreaking, moving, I had tears in my eyes, especially watching Tian, ​​my abandoned, beloved boy. I also feel sorry for Wang, for how much he sacrificed, knowing his capabilities and ambitions. He did it for himself and for Tian, ​​because personally I can't imagine them keeping their romantic and sexual relationship a secret, which in 2012 between boys who are considered by everyone to be BROTHERS, would be devastating for them. Wang already has to come up with excuses to explain their closeness to the outside world, and if they were in a relationship it would be even worse and ultimately impossible. The series is wonderful and I love it. I love the characters, I love the actors. That being said, I was unpleasantly mentally transported to the times of Eternal Summer, Bangkok Love Story, Love of Siam and a whole bunch of Asian productions from that era, the endings of which broke my heart 💔 It was, I admit, very weird and um, kind of hurt me, I honestly thought I'd never have to experience something like this again, hence my unpreparedness for the pain...

That's why I'll mentally stay on my happy pink cloud, like this one: 🥰

[yuseirra]

Kamiki is such a weird character. I keep talking about him because he's like a puzzle. I want to make sense of him because I'm... really confused when it gets to him. I really enjoy analyzing characters, but I usually don't even feel the need to write things down to figure out their character: for his case though?

There are so many claims about him being a horrible, evil, maniac, a heartless psychopath serial killer selfishly using others for his own gain.

Since he's supposedly the father of the protagonist and who had a relationship with Ai, I look at him intently whenever he makes an appearance, because I get curious just what is UP with this man and see him for myself, and I find that when he ACTUALLY does something, he.. tends to be so mild compared to what he's been thought to be. It's so weird. He's nothing like all those things he's said to be when he shows up in person, so the information I've been given to interpret him and the actual character does not match up. I keep feeling he has a kind nature. I think I believe that more compared to the descriptions he has because... it's what he actually is, you know.

People say he's done things, but we never see it in present tense with him actually carrying out these actions in person. It's all speculation.

You see, the thing is, we NEVER get to see him actually DO things on screen. We still don't know what he's said on the phone with Ai (and it turns out that he probably really didn't say much. I say he really DID want to only just send her the bouquet. Anyhow, Ai doesn't seem that uncomfortable talking to him, and we find she had him in her heart all along.) In that phone call with Nino as well, if you see her reactions, it was about turning themselves in?? How was that supposed to be a trigger to go stab a person? Could he have predicted this? Claims that he's manipulated and caused people to become killers? Well, we see ONE case of it something like it happening right now in 161 OH MY GOD even our main protagonist, Aqua could not escape this weird.. turn of events, and here we see Kamiki ACTUALLY wanting to keep Aqua from trying to kill him/become a murderer for whatever intent he has behind it. Aqua still ends up doing something really reckless. In this case, it's exactly the OPPOSITE result of what Kamiki's desired.

I really feel like he never intends for these things to happen and yet, it does. What is there for him to gain from this??? At least for Ai, Gorou and this current.. 161's case, I don't think he even dreamed of this happening. I don't know about the other cases if there are but, Nino says all he did was "talk", and that must be it... he could have some powers to make people grow insane by just talking maybe, but even if it's so, I think it's happening against his wishes and it's not something he can control.

To add, there really isn't much solid base for these claims he's facing STILL, even till the series reaches its end. Some accusations are being thrown at him, but just how much has ACTUALLY taken place? What's the truth? If he's a murderer, just how many lives did he take? I guess... that could be revealed later but; why.. keep it so hidden if he really is that kind of person? In 160, he says he didn't do anything. What if that's true? Why do we never see him take some direct action, even till the final arc? To be fair, there IS the case of Yura, but even that is very vague. I'll talk about that a little more later.

At this point, I feel like they've never shown these scenes to us BECAUSE that would make for a twist. If things go as expected and he is just a mere serial killer who's killed anyone who surpasses Ai for his self-satisfaction, it wouldn't need to be kept so hidden;; in fact, it should have been revealed more because that'd make this guy a menacing antagonist our heroes must defeat. It would add more drive and flavor and make us want to cheer for Aqua's revenge, but it isn't that way. The twist would be that, he could have really done nothing much.. been pretty sensible all along.

In cases like Nino or Ryosuke, we've seen situations where they expressed hatred, stabbed someone, or did something drastic. We see them being dangerous people.

But with Kamiki, whenever they actually do something, it’s not really a big deal, and they come across as rather gentle. To the point where their actions could even be interpreted as kindness. From what I see, they seem to have a genuinely good nature, and apparently, they used to be like that.

There’s just one thing that bothers me—Yura’s case. Honestly, their reaction back then was really strange. When I look at Kamiki’s behavior patterns, whenever they’re dealing with something overwhelming or hiding their true feelings, they always smile. He says some really weird things and he smiles... anyhow, yeah, he does seem to feel guilt about it...

I mean, if they were going to kill Yura, there wouldn’t be any reason to warn her to 'watch her step,' right? That’s what confuses me. What needs to be cleared up now is this: Ai, Ryosuke, and Gorou—he wasn't responsible for those three deaths at least. So, if this suspicion can be resolved, unless there's solid proof that they’ve killed others, it all just sounds like speculation. Is there anything that’s really been confirmed to be their doing? Tsukuyomi was wrong once already; should I trust her about Kamiki's true motives?

Why do I keep feeling like this person is actually a good person every time they appear? Their actions and the accusations are so different.

It’s starting to feel like, 'Could this kind of person really have killed anyone?' Is this supposed to happen or am I reading this story wrong? But here’s the thing—I think the author and I are on the same wavelength with some things; I’ve guessed so many things correctly...

There’s something more to this. This isn’t the end… It feels too suspicious.

If Kamiki's really, truly bad, I’ll accept it—I’ve already said that they should die if they are. But there’s still something nagging at me. I wouldn't be the only one, right?

A truly bad person with real fault wouldn’t behave this way. Of course, people act in all sorts of ways. But this character… something always feels off, so I can’t be certain.

And honestly, that would make for a better story. In the grander context and message of the narrative, it would be more fitting if this character were actually innocent but wrongly accused over and over. That’s what I think.

Also, the fact that Ai left a message asking someone to help this person… that’s partly why I keep thinking about this. They seem really kind…

It makes sense why Ai might have loved them. I get it. I think this person is actually good.

You see, I didn't hold much thought about the guy and just went along with the claims he faced until I heard "Fatal", and having seen Ai wanting to help the guy. Just three seconds in the song (I didn't even know the lyrics at first) I get this...rush of sensation... it's so hard to describe, but I just knew, this emotion there, that must be his.. and so I started drawing him and Ai a lot. I rarely get these wrong. It was such a strong wave of feelings I got.. I guess that's been one of my biggest fuel for the past few months! I really hope I'm right! I felt very.. stunned and sure back then. It was a very strong type of feeling that anchored my thoughts. I trust my intuition when it comes to emotions, I'm usually good with them! It's hard to ask others to trust with me, but I can write posts like these with the reasoning that stems from those feelings I have along with some evidence I find from the work! I've already stepped too deep into this pit and I'll be so embarrassed if I'm wrong but, at least I had fun. I think I've been learning a lot.. having thought a lot... it's been good practice, trying to read characters- I really want to be good at it! It's fun!

[wangsejabin]

Chapter 112

These words instantly made Pan'er wake up with a jolt.

   What, is he planning to appoint a crown prince?

   When the emperor ascends to the throne, apart from sealing the palace, one of the most important things he should consider is the creation of a crown prince.

   After all, the crown prince is the foundation of the state, and most people who become emperor are not young, and most of them have already had sons, and more than one. It is a common belief that many sons are a blessing, but if you look at the royal family, you can see that sometimes this is not always true.

   As the sons grow older, they are surrounded by more and more subordinates, tangible and intangible, subconscious and subconscious, and everyone is betting on them. Can the family prosper for another hundred years? Who doesn't want to last forever?

   In her previous life, at first she never dared to think that Zong Yue could sit in the emperor's seat, after all, the crown prince's position was as secure as a mountain. It was only later, when there was a hint of it, and she found out that Zong Yue also had that kind of mind, that she gradually moved her mind.

But before that, that is, before Zong Cong mentioned it, she had not thought about it at all, and probably subconsciously felt that many things had changed in this life, so she did not think about it. She thought that Zong Yue was still young and did not need to think about this for the time being, but at this moment, Zong Cong's words made her wake up at once.

   How to answer?

   Although she and he were now getting to know each other better, and there was a little bit of heart-to-heart between them, and he was willing to talk to her about things that bothered her, these trivial matters were not the same as setting up a crown prince.

   The crown prince was too sensitive, especially as she had given birth to the second son, Zong Yue.

So she turned over in his arms and said, "Your Majesty, that's a strange question to ask, I've never been a crown prince, how do I know whether it's good or bad to be one? This should be asked of Your Majesty, weren't you the Crown Prince before?"

   "I used to be the crown prince, but a long time ago, I actually didn't want to be the crown prince."

Pan'er fell silent, and Zong Cong did not speak either, falling into memory.

Everyone thought that the crown prince was above all others, the future Emperor, and that he must have been a great success and highly valued. But they did not know that all this was a shackle, an existence that made them walk on thin ice.

The memories of the past, which Zong Cong never wanted to recall, were the days when he carried his mother and himself on his back, the days when he studied hard behind the scenes but pretended to be light-hearted on the surface, the days when he pretended to be generous even when he was angry, the days when he laughed in the face even when he knew that he was up to no good, the days when he had to tense his nerves every day, the days when he forced himself to be thorough and never missed a beat, and the days when he was not able to be a good friend. ......

Therefore, when he saw that Zong Duo seemed to be following his old path, Zong Cong's feelings were very complicated.

   If he was in good health, he might have been relieved in his complexity, but he was not in good health and had to compete with Zong Yue.

   But he could not blame the child, accuse him of not working too hard, and as for Zong Yue, he was even more innocent, was it a fault that he was smart and good at reading and had a competitive spirit?

Zong Cong could foresee that when the dust had settled, the court would definitely start a heated debate on the crown prince.

   What should we do when the time comes?

"Brother Cong you'd better not think too much about it, after all those things have passed, you're now the emperor, I remember you told me before that you had a lot of things to do? You still have so many important big things to do, so why do you need to think about these small things."

   Yes, he still had a lot of big things to do.

It must be said that Pan'er was still quite good at comforting, no, diverting, and Zong Cong's attention was soon diverted to his government affairs.

   He was lost in thought, his hand stroking her back with one hand, while Pan'er breathed a soft sigh of relief.

   --

   It was clearly a cold day, but Empress Chen was very active, asking daily about the progress of the Ning Shou Palace's repairs.

   It was the first year of the new emperor's ascension to the throne, so it was particularly significant that the Ning Shou Palace had not been repaired, and Empress Fu could not move out of the Kun Ning Palace.

   Two snowstorms in a row meant that repairs had to be suspended.

   Empress Chen was anxious but could not say anything on the surface. At the same time, Zong Duo fell ill again and although he was only coughing, he was still not well for half a month, which added fuel to the fire.

This was to be followed by the ceremony of the enthronement of the Empress and the investiture of all the concubines in the Eastern Palace.

After this, they have all become official and rightful ladies, although not yet moved to the palace, but several lower ranking concubines would not be able to be the master of a palace and instead would live under the supervision of a more senior concubine.

Kunning Palace and Jingren Palace is naturally out of the question, one is the empress residence, one is Su Guifei's residence. Su Guifei has always been solitary, and no one was allowed close, she's just favoured like that, it is not possible to get a person to their own palace to share favor. The only thing that remains is the palace of Consort Hu Shufei Zhou Xianfei and others.

At first, when Hu Shufei saw the frequent visits of Qian Guiren and others, she was a little surprised at what they were doing there. But she was always a meat and potatoes kind of person, and she was also a big fan of watching the fun, so she met them.

   The two of them were sent away in a rare outburst of anger.

   Qian Qiao and the two of them were still a bit aggrieved, so if they didn't want to, why did they have to get so angry? When the concubine Li found out about this, she even went to laugh at them.

   "If you don't go to Concubine Su's place and run to Concubine Hu's, you're clearly saying that she's not in favour and needs your help?"

Qian Qiao and the two of them realized that they still had no choice but to go there, otherwise each of the six eastern palaces would be dominated, what if none of them wanted them or if they were given to concubine Li by the Empress?

   They went back to Consort Xu, who was very decisive and refused on the grounds that the Fifth Prince had recently been unwell and it was inappropriate for someone to visit him.

After these two incidents, Consort De was not stupid either, so the Sixth County Princess were also a little uncomfortable.

   So there were only two concubines left, Li and Zhao.

   At this point, concubine Li was so pleased with herself that you didn't want to live in my palace because you didn't like me, so what are you doing here? The door was closed, and the concubine Zhao's place had been very busy lately.

These are all things that Pan'er heard from the people below her, just like listening to a book, and after listening to it,

After hearing this she poured cold water on the situation: "Even the Empress has not moved her palace, where else would the others want to move?

In fact, Pan'er's words proved true, and it was only a few days before the New Year's Eve that Empress Chen finally realised in despair that she would not be able to move this year and would have to stay in the Eastern Palace.

   There was no need to think about the congratulations of the first wife, or about being worshipped on the phoenix throne.

On New Year's Eve, Zong Cong hosted a family banquet at Qianqing Palace. There were many people there, including princes and their families, some close relatives, the Grand Empress Dowager, the Empress Dowager, several imperial concubines and the ladies of the Eastern Palace.

   The atmosphere was very cordial and, although it may have been somewhat of an illusion, at least it proved that the majority of the people had come to terms with the reality of the new emperor's accession to the throne.

After the family feast, Zong Cong led the crowd to the Hall of the Nurtured Heart to visit the emperor.

This New Year's Eve, the Hall of the Nurtured Heart is probably the only place in the entire Forbidden City where there is no festive atmosphere, as the emperor has to recuperate from his illness and naturally needs quiet, especially since the emperor has been ill and cannot speak, his temper is getting worse every day, and the servants are all cautious and downcast as they wait on the sidelines.

   The crowd of people dressed in auspicious clothes visiting the Emperor looked particularly sarcastic.

   After all, it was not easy for the new emperor to think of the emperor at this point in his life, and even if he did, he was still being filial.

It was the emperor who seemed unusually unsettled, his mouth ahhhhh and not knowing what he was saying, but no one paid any attention to this.

The only one who took advantage of the Emperor's performance was the Prince of Qi, who made a fuss, reprimanding his lackeys for not serving him well, and saying that Zong Cong was treating the Emperor with apparent filial piety, but in fact he was secretly having people sparring with him, otherwise the Emperor would have behaved like this?

   But no one believed him, not to mention the fact that so many imperial concubines were present and had to queue up every day to attend to their illnesses. It was Pan'er's idea for Zong Cong to attend to his illness, but it was a lie to avoid suspicion. The Prince of Qi is being unreasonable, and at the same time, he is at the end of his rope.

After all, if he really had a solution for Zong Cong, why would he make a fuss over such a trivial matter? There were many clansmen present, and they all had their own opinions.

On the first day of the first month, the new emperor paid homage to his ancestors at the Imperial Temple, and announced the change of the reign name to Jianying.

   At the same time, the Kunning Palace was also bustling with activity.

   The Empress Dowager Fu was in the centre, Empress Chen was on the lower left, and the concubines of the new emperor, including Pan'er, were standing on either side.

   They were all dressed in gorgeous gowns, and it was difficult for the Home Office to rush so many gowns, but the momentum was really something like a new year.

But it's not a new year, since the fifth day of the first month, Zong Cong opened the seal, Zong Cong was all kinds of big action.

The first thing he did was to tell Empress Chen that her father had been made a marquis.

   This is a distinction that only imperial relatives can have, and it is usually added to the shade of the mother's family when the empress is crowned, but it is a lower rank than in the previous life, when it was a dukedom.

   Empress Chen was so happy and pleased that when Pan'er went to pay her respects, she could see the joy on her face.

   But as a result, Empress Chen was even more anxious to move the palace, and after the first month was over, she was concerned about the repair of the Ning Shou Palace.

   In the meantime, the six eastern palaces were also undergoing simple renovations, the only major one being the Jingren Palace, the residence of the princesses and the three southern houses where the imperial sons lived.

   In time for March, Zong Duo and Zong Yue moved to the South Third House, and Pan'er made several trips there to see the new paint, new doors and windows, new furniture and furnishings, and she also opened a special storehouse and added a lot of furnishings and other things for Zong Yue.

   In April, the Ning Shou Palace was finally repaired.

   Empress Chen personally supervised the decoration and furnishings inside, and waited for half a month after everything was finished before carefully mentioning that the Ning Shou Palace had been repaired when she went to the Kun Ning Palace to pay her respects.

Pan'er was present at the time, and now that she is a consort of the new emperor, she naturally cannot be as lazy as before.

The Empress Court was not the only one, but there was still the Empress Dowager and the Empress Dowager, so she could not wait around for the concubines to come to pay their respects, so she gathered at Kunning Palace and paid her respects to Empress Dowager Fu, and then went to Cining Palace to pay her respects to the Grand Empress Dowager at her discretion.

It is not that Empress Dowager Fu is not willing to go, but the Empress Dowager also knows that she is old, every day tossing and turning disgusting, a month only on the first fifteen to come to ask for peace she will not say anything, other times to come to her are too noisy, and over time to go gradually less and less.

   Although Empress Chen had already been very particular about the way she spoke, and did not open the door to the princesses, but made a reference to the courtyard where they lived, Pan'er still saw Empress Fu and Nianqiu beside her glance at each other.

   The gesture was a little more meaningful.

   So the Empress was no ordinary person, Pan'er sighed once more.

   It wasn't that Empress Dowager Fu had tasted the hardships of being an empress before, and now she had to pick on Empress Chen. You think that the palace is so big, some of Empress Chen's actions will not fall on deaf ears, watching the repair process of Ning Shou Palace, at best filial obedience, at worst is eager to let Empress Fu move out of Kun Ning Palace.

But it's also true that she, the empress, wants to move into the Kunning Palace in a hurry.

   So the hearts of the people are like this, no one is wrong, but it is inadvertently in everyday life that countless conflicts are gathered.

   Fortunately, this had nothing to do with her, and Pan'er was sincerely grateful.

   Empress Fu didn't delay much and ordered her minions to pack up the next day. She had been Empress for many years and had lived in Kunning Palace for decades, so there was as much stuff as one could imagine.

When Zong Cong heard about this, he even made a special trip, saying that the Ning Shou Palace had just been repaired and that it would be better to wait for the paint inside to dissipate for a while before moving it, as there was no rush anyway.

   The Empress Dowager didn't say anything, she just said to move the things over slowly first.

When Zong Cong came out, Nianci told him what had happened yesterday.

He asked Pan'er why she knew.

It was because it happened that she had been recruited to go to Qianqing Palace that day, and Zong Cong had a rare moment of anger in front of her, demonstrating his displeasure with Empress Chen.

   He was becoming less and less shy of Pan'er, but Pan'er was anxious. You say he said something bad about the Empress in front of her, should she, as a favoured concubine, to advise, or not advise?

[naamahdarling]

You know what? You know what I think?

I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.

The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.

I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.

But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.

We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.

That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.

I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.

Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.

I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

[sharplimeade]

hc that Hatake females grow fur in between their breasts because their body recognized that the children weren't surviving long enough after childbirth so it provided a way to keep them warmer (ex. put that baby in fur when it's too windy or smth) and somewhat hide them from any "predators" (ninjas basically)

(changed this post up a bit bcuz another post gave me something to think about so I'll put what I sort of changed here:

The Hatakes being a somewhat migratory clan that will to places that are early spring wait will early autumn to leave and then travel through mid-winter

them traveling through mid winter also fits with headcanon as winter winds can be especially harsh on kids so having fur to hide in would raise birthrates (is that the right word?)

also i fit in the dog characteristic by having the Hatake's also herd animals as well as farm so the dogs could come in as helpers and do some weird chakra partnership thing that gives both qualities of the other to become more in tune

i dont rlly know anything about farming or herding tho so take what I say with a lot of salt

[polaroid-petals]

I'm this close to writing a fic where a few weeks post-confession, Hero has a dream where he gets the option to stab Basil in order for Mari to have never died, only for his knife to stab not this fictional dream version of Basil, but the real twelve-year-old one, whom he then slowly watches die as he's unable to save him from the gash in his stomach.

To his horror, as he wakes up four years after the murder with no memory of what happened afterwards, he learns that he covered up the murder, and he has no idea how or why he did it.

[mourn-and-watch]

one super important detail about carver's 'pro-templar' stance is that he openly admits that he never saw magic as a threat before kirkwall. he can be petty and constantly annoyed by his siblings being all magical and special but he never thought of them as abominations who need to be locked up for everyone's safety. kirkwall is the reason he starts to express doubts and we know how fucked up the veil here is.

if he joins the order, he does that out of necessity but i'd say he's also that rare templar who's motivated not by fear for himself but by fear for the people he cares about and at least one of them is a mage. this city is full of demons and abominations and blood magic, situation here is a lot more complicated than in ferelden and there's also his not-so-almighty mage sibling who doesn't seem to be concerned about this. even though they can be killed by one of these things. even though they can become one of them.

also he desperately needs purpose and if he was never taken to the expedition he finds one and does so by his own choice. and for the moment he thinks it's the right thing to do but the order never helps him resolve his doubts. he's never proven wrong because there are still demons and abominations threating the city. he's never proven right because some things templars do are completely unjustifiable and straight up cruel. this is not the purpose he wanted. this is not the reason worth deeping the rift between him and his sibling even more than it already was but it's too late to quit just like that. it's not like he despised the templars. it's not like he didn't understand them completely. but the way he bitterly says "you don't understand this life. i didn't" to sebastian summarises how complicated his time in the order was all along

[humanmorph]

what did brnine do to asepsis anyways

... is what I wanted to make the post about (I'll elaborate) but I was looking through a transcript for info & this is so funny to me. Keith

I should make a compilation sometime bc last week Ali said something about integrity that reminded me of a specific lyke moment & made me laugh... I knew I wrote it down somewhere I just can't find it now.

[turtlemagnum]

when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is

the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".

so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.

[running-in-the-dark]

great. my family has started 'joking' about our upcoming move, and especially about how long it took to unpack everything last time.

yeah that's so funny! it's not like that had anything to do with the fact that it was entirely just me doing all of the unpacking, organising, arranging things, building/reassembling the furniture and everything. and maybe also the fact that right before we moved I was in hospital, during the first month I had several very bad gallbladder attacks, and then had two surgeries a month apart, one of which meant I couldn't lift shit for like a month and the other meant I was in pain whenever I moved my head for several weeks :)

could that have anything to do with how long it took? nah it's just that I have too much stuff and also I'm lazy :)

[darkclouds-rainsounds]

More of this

The first image was moreso supposed to depict a slightly pissed off Volo whose only tell that he's angry is the minute waver of his illusion, hence the ends of his hair being faded and the part that sticks out of his bun is wispy. Alas, I effectively failed in portraying that both in terms of expression and because I have little skill in drawing side-profiles. Also the first image is him topless because I don't really know how to draw clothing on a side profile and have barely enough knowledge of anatomy to go 'fuck it ┐( ˘_˘)┌'.

Second Image I tried to do what I failed in the first and I guess??? it turned out okay??

H.Zoroark!Volo aside, the first image is also just how I headcanon him to look in terms of body type and being more scarred.