#usually i hate unhappy endings cause they dont make sense

[regrettorisotto]

Everyone saying metatron did something to aziraphale or put something in his coffee but i really don't think thats the case. That's not the impression i got from watching that at all.

All i saw was an angel who - while yes, having seen a lot of shit and how wrong heaven has been so far - still believes that heaven as a concept is supposed to be fundamentally good.

And with the idea of him being in charge comes his hope of finally implementing everything good and right that heaven should've been all along. He can finally bring pure peace to the world he loves so much. To the world he knows crowley loves just as much.

For centuries those two have been trying to do whats right and now finally they have been given the opportunity to do that without going against all their laws and higher ups. AND they can do it together, side by side instead of in secret and in the shadows. They finally have the opportunity to not be on "opposing sides" anymore, not be scared of what heaven and hell might do to them if they're caught.

Plus aziraphale knows that crowley is good, that he's been wrongly cast out of heaven and how much he suffered and still does because of it. He just wants his person to be acknowledged for all the good he's done and get the recognition and peace he deserves because he truly believes he should've never been cast out.

So no, i don't think there was anything wrong with the coffee because i don't think aziraphale doing this was in any way out of character. Crowley has always been sure where he stands now, but aziraphale never has. He's always been insecure about this, always been clinging to the idea of good and bad sides and how heaven is good. And he'd always go back to heaven if presented with as good an offer as metatrons.

(And finally letting go of that is what his character development will be about in season 3)

[isa-ghost]

Quackity was right to kill off cQ 100%, and not just as a way to be fully done with dsmp and the racist loser fuckass that's the face of it

cQuackity deserves the rest. cSlime is right hes. tired. so fucking tired and burnt out.

he was wronged so extensively over and over until he became no different than the people who hurt him and he knew this, he was aware of it every second he lived whether he acknowledged it or not

there comes a point where youre in too deep and he was and he knew it. so he tied up his loose ends (saying goodbye to Slime) and doubled down on his suicide bc for horrible people like him with so much blood and corruption on his hands and so much destruction and unhappiness around him no matter how many bandaids he slaps on that flesh wound, thats the way out. and its tragic but true. he was as much a villain as he was a victim in the end

there was never gonna be a cQ redemption arc. i dont necessarily think he was utterly irredeemable but it was simply a route that doesnt fit the character.

because what would a "happy ending" for cQ even look like?

he had no one else after Slime left, hes incapable of trusting anyone including himself, hes TERRIFIED of giving up even an increment of control, the only home he has is a giant monument of how long and hard he tried to bury his trauma and grief and anger and how desperately he tried to escape everything he went through by burying it in exaggerated grandeur and riches and power

surrounded by loved ones we trust is usually what we think of when we hear happy ending. cQ is more or less incapable of that, he has no loved ones to speak of and no ability to trust people. being alone and "at peace" can be a happy ending, but alone isnt peace to cQ, he'd likely just dwell on everything that's haunted him for so long. making something thats all their own and built with their own two hands is another common happy ending. cQ did that and it was a sham and only caused him more pain.

he was fucking tired and too deep in everything he learned to believe after everything he went through. a final rest where no one can hurt him anymore and he doesnt have to fake his happiness and stability and protect himself with mostly-fake power and wealth is whats right for him. its fucked up but that's the reality. he's a tragic character

i'm personally super satisfied with the endings he chose for these characters of his and i've heard about way too many people who are being way too negative about it. and an obscene amount of people who apparently hate-watched the stream. i will honestly just be blocking those people. i loved what Quackity did and i think cQ's end makes sense.

[otsukare-katsukare]

Hiii since you said you were interested in what others think about the whole Sami/Bron/MITB situation.... I have thoughts and it's a bit much to write in the comments so, Here goes... (this isn't even all the thoughts BTW 😂

@thesmallworldofsamizayn I got to agree a bit there, with your statement of Bron being unstoppable and Sami being the underdog, as well as getting sick of the comments being made about Sami being the Champ. Usually I don't really give into or pay much attention to all the talk, and if I do, it only makes me want to fight harder, but I'll be honest; this time round, Sami doesn't NEED the belt...

He's good enough on his own and he's proven it time and time again. It was a nice icing on the cake type situation (having the belt), but, the point is that there is and was plenty of delicious cake already there! (if that makes any sense) So bottom line, he'll survive without it, he can survive without it. If anything, it'll probably light a bigger fire under him, reigniting that fiery passion of his. The one that keeps drawing us to him and into his world.

Honestly, this is going to sound so bad, but I won't be overly upset if/when Sami drops the belt (note I too am an avid Sami fan and I'd be a bit sad, but not devastated). To me (personally), before he won the IC championship, and even though he had more loses than wins, he was more intriguing to watch. Idk why, and may be it's just me atm, after that long drawn out (weeksss of) Alpha Academy saga - may be that's what's got me feeling this way fn...

A few weeks ago I would have said that they are building up to Chad winning it, but now that Bron and Sheamus are involved who knows the hands the title will eventually fall into. Also, it's going to be hard to get Sami to drop the belt this quick (even though it's been what? A couple of months now already?) when it clearly (you can SEE it) means so much to him... It'll be hard but they'll eventually have to do it. So may be MITB will be it.

Also got to agree a bit here with @shanie too, I would love to see Sami get involved in the BL saga and if there's anyone who believes in redemption, always seeing the good in people, fighting for the greater good, and what's good and right AND against all odds, it's Sami Zayn. He's got the innate need to rescue people out of toxic situations and to fix said situation. So he would definitely fit the narrative if they decide to insert him into it.

BUT the big issue is with the fans. Again. There's quite certainly going to be a LOT of hate if this happens. I'm already hearing rumblings of people unhappy with just the mere thought of it. Saying he's not family so why is he involving himself in it, as much as that's true, have they completely forgotten that he in fact was a THE 'honorary Uce'? The closest an 'outsider' has ever gotten to the family or being 'family'? Heck he almost became 'Sami Uso'.

So in the end people can and will make up their own minds and there nothing anyone can do about it. And also in the end each to their own I guess... (BTW people need to chill out and remember this is fiction NOT real life 😭)

Anywayy just a few of my thoughts....sorry about the long winded answer 😂😅

(no pressure to to respond to this BTW 😊

🐨

hello! thank you very much for these detailed thoughts. youve actually articulated a lot of what i was feeling. first, the fact that a) i dont like seeing fans bitch about sami and b) i especially dont like it when they're kind of right. it is someone else's turn, and maybe yeah that person should have been chad. i was more than ready for it to be chad at catc personally. im not too mad that it's gone in a different direction cause it does actually look like they have other storyline ideas for chad now, but as far as sami's concerned, yeah the belt isn't doing anything more for him now than it has till this point. it's weird to think he hasn't held a title as a face since the nxt championship 10 years ago. but thinking back on that, and everything since, everything he's been so good at - yeah, im not sure that long term champion is the right look on him! he won it in 2014 and lost it devastatingly to kevin 2 months later, and i would not have wanted that to happen any other way.

thing is, i will be sad if sami loses to bron at mitb. especially if he loses clean, not unlike he did to kevin all those years ago, futilely continuing to kick out long after he should have quit until he's physically incapable of doing so. what's maybe harder to explain as a wrestling fan is that i want to be sad about sami zayn. i like those heavy emotions, i like feeling like my favourite character can't catch a break. that's the entire essence of the underdog appeal. further to that, this is kind of the state im most used to and therefore most comfortable in when it comes to characters im invested in. in the words of mitski, i bet on losing dogs. and sami winning was an incredible feeling and so deserved, but i really don't mind him losing! he's both more compelling overall and gets more interesting stories, and just inspires so much sympathy in that position. (look i also like seeing him in pain i'll say it. he clearly likes acting being in pain just as much so everyone's happy i think)

then there's the bloodline and yeah, i'd sit up to watch sami back with those guys especially roman. im apparently one of the few people who really doesn't want roman to come back as a face no matter how much the fans cheer him, but if he is going to have a face turn, it's got to involve sami god damn it. i was just talking with @milk-crater about this, how it makes more sense with sami being a bit more removed, because that makes him a better person to forgive roman, and to be his moral guide. also it's sami, if anyone in all pro wrestling would reach out a hand to a genuienly remorseful roman reigns it's him. all that and the two just have such great chemistry, and it was the baseline for everything that made the honorary uce arc so fantastic and beloved, and it'd be nice to come back to some of that. maybe show these smarks what they've forgotten about why sami is the absolute best again.

thanks again for hopping in my inbox and never worry about being long winded. anyone who's ever been in a conversation with me knows im the last person to take issue with that!

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

i've never felt more comfortable. my flat is literally everything. and i enjoy going to office hybrid cause it really makes me appreciate the days when i'm at home. otherwise i need to find excuses to leave the house but at least this way i'm getting some exercise in every week. low key wish it was 2 days/week but it is what is is.

i forgot how amazing it was living alone. idk why but i love cleaning my space. doing laundry and organizing my things and showering and then lighting a candle and making my lunch for tomorrow. even sweeping the kitchen floor (and i hate sweeping). idk what it is but it just makes me feel.. together? i think it helps my place is so clean and nice in general, cause then when i clean i feel like it's ACTUALLY clean, not just surface clean if that makes sense.

i literally hope i don't have to live with a man ever again. i know my view is skewed because of jake, he made me really hate it at the end. but i know i just haven't found the right guy to live with. but even thinking about it, living with someone else, is repulsive. like, get the f out of my space. i enjoy my quiet time so much.

i've also gotten better at deciding what to make for dinner. usually and in the past it was always so hard and very stressful. even just thinking about what to make that isn't super unhealthy or doesn't require 15 ingredients. but i made tacos 2 weeks ago and i had leftover sour cream that's going to go bad soon so boom, buy some frozen perogies and make those. i dont remember it being this easy in uni but i also had no clue what i was doing and was teaching myself how to cook. it also wasn't this easy living with jake - but lets be real food was always a problem. would never eat leftovers, never had the energy to give any sort of input other than in the summertime. god i have so much resentment and bitterness. i did it to myself. i stayed. for probably 6 months too long. but ykno what, if i left any earlier i'd probably second guess myself and wonder what if. and, idk if i would've moved to calgary. i know i wouldn't be living in this apartment.

god my life would be so different if i had stayed longer. and honestly, i was on the trajectory for it. i even considered staying and maybe do it sometime in january after the holidays. omg i would've gone fucking crazy. laid off, so much time on my hands, him working, me doing absolutely nothing. me looking for some sort of job in vancouver. it makes me sweat just thinking about it. i would've been even more miserable than i had been before.

one thing that really stumps me is he KNEW i was unhappy. literally. he said. i know you haven't been happy for a while. LIKE?? OK?? so you're just going to not say anything or do anything and hope it figures itself out?? fuck he's such a dumb fucking idiot.

i really need this therapy session on sunday. he has literally made me hate and not trust men. i think that's it. i just don't trust anyone to give me a life better than i can give myself.

and maybe that's partly why i'm so down for Brandon. he lives so far there is literally no chance of him ruining my life lmao cause he'll eventually go home far away and i'm here safe from his masculinity.

but brandon is legit the polar opposite of jake. he's kind and loves cats and loves trance and doesn't smoke weed and likes to drink and doesn't LIE and make up stupid stories and fly off the handle with substances.

we'll see how she goes but at least right now i've not been as obsessed with brandon cause i've been so busy being happy on my own. 79 days.

[sweetiejunie]

Confessions

Summary: They both have their own confessions. Beomgyu had secrets. Yeonjun thought he was over you. But was he really?

Genre: fluff, angst

Beomgyu x reader, Yeonjun x reader (decoupling)

—.*•—

A/n: a short oneshot i wrote inspired by my favourite ep of HIMYM

=====================================

You loved yeonjun, you really did. And he loved you. But were you in love? No.

That ship sank a while ago, but you had remained good friends with him and the other boys. You both figured it would be too much of a waste to completely throw away everything you had. And you still enjoyed the others company, who was he to take that away from you. At the start, it was hard. But as time went on, things fell back into place. You had to admit, it was a bittersweet feeling but you were glad you didn’t completely lose him. He was still one of your best friends. Everything went back to how it was before you started dating. Well, almost everything.

When the other boys found out you had broken up, they were devastated, of course. To them you and yeonjun had always been their one true pairing, their OTP, soulmates. The couple they were rooting for to get married. And when you broke up, they were shocked and they were also there to help you through it. Especially beomgyu, he had made it his job to visit you everyday until you were better. Bringing you all kinds of sweets or food that would make you happy. Or bringing you out on fun adventures so you had an excuse to get out of bed when you had spent the whole day crying. All that was just supposed to last for a little while, until you got back on your feet. But even after everything seemed back to normal, beomgyu still found himself at your doorstep whenever he had the chance.

Beomgyu didn’t want to say it, but while he was busy bringing you ice cream and chocolates everyday to cheer you up, he started catching feelings. He loved making you laugh when he saw tears prick your eyes. He loved the way you smiled at his jokes and how they made you feel better. He loved spending time with you, watching whatever movie you wanted and listening to any song you played. At first, he thought he was just being nice, looking out for a friend that was broken. Time went by, and all the more he realised just how much he dreaded the days he couldn’t visit you or the days you didn’t reply to his texts. He realised what he felt was something more than what he felt for a friend. But he couldn’t like you. You were his friend’s ex. He couldn’t break the bro-code.

As the days continued, so did his visits. And everyday, he just felt himself falling deeper and deeper into that hole. But he couldn’t stop himself. Everyday, he saw you smiling when you opened the door for him, a smile that made his heart jump out of his chest. He wanted to grab your hands and hold you close. To call the days you went out together ‘dates’ instead of just friendly hangouts. He wanted to take you on late night drives to the most romantic places he could think of, and have you fall asleep in his arms.

He had fallen fast, and he had fallen hard. He thought he could get over you, to simply forget his feelings existed. But that proved to be much easier said than done. He tried cutting down on the days he saw you, using excuses like he was too busy, or he was too exhausted after practice. It killed him to lie to you. And seeing the sweet responses you gave him to ‘rest well’ and to ‘take care of himself’ wasn’t helping.

Beomgyu couldn’t take it. It’s been months and he felt guilty for hiding his feelings. He knew it was wrong for him fall in love you, but he couldn’t control his emotions. And it was eating him alive. He had to tell someone. And that day after their practice, he decided to tell yeonjun the truth. It was make or break it, but he had to get it out.

He found yeonjun on the couch, using his phone just scrolling through his feed. Beomgyu had gone through what he wanted to say in his head a thousand times, but nothing could prepare him for the real thing. He stood there for a while, looking over the corner at yeonjun, processing how to go about this.

“Stop staring, you look like a stalker,” yeonjun suddenly called out, causing the poor boy to get flustered.

“Hyung,” beomgyu said softly, walking closer to him.

“Beomgyu, something wrong?” Yeonjun asked, sensing something off about his younger’s demeanour.

“I uh, i need to talk to you.”

Yeonjun hummed a response, putting down his phone and turning to look at beomgyu, who stood there, shifting his weight from foot to foot, playing with the edge of his hoodie. He was nervous. Who wouldn’t be? He was about to tell his mate he had fallen head over heels for a girl he used to love.

“So er,” beomgyu started, “i dont know how to tell you this and i know it’s wrong of me to feel like this. But... i think i like y/n.”

There was silence, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. To beomgyu, it felt like it lastest an eternity. And he thought he was about to get punched as he studied yeonjun’s blank face, just staring at him.

“I- i just wanted to tell you cause i felt guilty. I know she’s your ex and all so if u dont feel comfortable with the idea of me being with her, I won’t do it! Ill get ride of my feelings, i promise! I just thought I should let you know-“

“Go for it,” yeonjun smiled, standing up to give beomgyu a pat on the back. “We broke up months ago. We’re just friends now, if you like her, I shouldn’t be the one stopping you. But you better treat her well.”

His words shocked beomgyu, but he was glad to have his blessing. It meant he was over you and beomgyu could feel at ease. He rushed over to your place and confessed everything.

And later that night, yeonjun got an extremely important text.

From beomgyu: Y/n and i are dating!!

.

.

.

In that moment, despite what he had said prior, he felt jealous, annoyed, frustrated. Whatever you want to call it. He tried to convince himself that he was happy for you. No, that he was over you, or so he thought. Seeing you with someone else just made him realised how much he was still actually in love with you.

He would never admit it but a part of him was hopping you would have said no, and send beomgyu home. He was supposed to be your friend, he was supposed to be happy his best friend was happy. He hadn’t noticed it, but when beomgyu returned home that night, yeonjun completely switched off, disregarding any attempts beomgyu made to start a conversation and locking himself in his room.

Yeonjun thought he was okay with you and beomgyu being together but as the days turned to weeks, yeonjun was starting to ignore beomgyu more, barely acknowledging him when he spoke. Yeonjun hated seeing you with him. He wanted you to be happy and he wanted beomgyu to be happy, but not be the reason for each others happiness.

The worse days were when you would surprise beomgyu at the dorm. You would greet them as per usual and run to hug beomgyu. That used to be him. The gifts you used to get for yeonjun, now you got for beomgyu. Your laugh that echoed from beomgyus room used to his favourite sound, but now was the bane of his existence.

The other boys noticed this, but didn’t dare say anything. Until one day, they drew the line. You had came over to the dorm and beomgyu decided to bring you out for a small ice cream date. The rest of them were on the couch in the living room, watching a movie before they saw the two of you giggling as you made your way out. The moment the door closed behind you, yeonjun scoffed.

“What’s up with you? You got a problem with ice cream now?” Kai chuckled.

“Nothing’s up. I just think y/n deserves more than a lame ice cream date. Sure, ice cream is nice and all. But let’s be real, ice cream sucks. Ice cream lies, they keep secrets, and when it comes down to it, they just end up hurting you,” yeonjun responded, his emotions taking over him when he continued. “I- i just can’t believe y/n is going through with the idea of going out wit- for, ice cream.”

The three boys listened attentively, shaking their heads. If it wasn’t obvious enough, yeonjun wasn’t talking about ice cream. They knew they had to put an end to this. It was getting out of hand.

“Okay hyung we have to talk. Room, now,” soobin announced.

“Nice try but no, it’s just going to be 5 minutes of you two sorting out his love life, followed by an hour of you playing mario kart. No way. Hyung, you, me, roof, right now,” standing up, taehyun pushed yeonjun towards the fire escape that had a staircase to the roof.

“But it’s January-“ yeonjun defended.

Ignoring him, taehyun continued pushing him out, “move.”

“Alright, we’re both freezing so cut the crap and just say it,” taehyun said the moment they were on the roof.

“Say what?”

“That you’re unhappy y/n and beomgyu are together!”

Yeonjun was in disbelief at his assumption, “what? No. I’m happy. I encouraged him to go after her.”

“Because you thought you were okay with letting her go! But now that she’s gone, it hurts.”

By that point, yeonjun had been hurt many times in his life. Past relationships, failed auditions, and the list goes on. But when he first saw that text message that you two were together, it hurt just like all the previous times, just times a million.

“No. I’m happy for them,” he argued again.

“Is all you’ll let yourself say out loud. Cause if you said how you actually felt, that would make you the worse person on this roof,” taehyun stated, arms wrapping around himself when a cool breeze past them. “So I’m going to give you an out.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that?” Yeonjun mocked back.

“By saying something worse.”

“Like what?”

Taehyun hesitated, “sometimes, i wish I wasn’t here. Sometimes i wish i could just pack up a bag and leave in the middle of the night and not come back.”

Yeonjun listened as he spoke. The words echoing in his ears as he processed what taehyun meant by them. And as the moment of silence passed, yeonjun confessed.

“Y/n shouldn’t be with beomgyu. She should be with me.”

.

.

.

=====================================

Just something random, something short, something sad. Hope you liked it!

Masterlist

[kikosaurscave]

The Cheater and The Bear Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

10/6/21: PLSSSSS THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT ON THIS FIC BUT I HATE IT. I love the plot but i hate how i brought on the story towards the end, its boring, quick and sloppy as well, sorry for that. Ill touch it up...later🦖🦕

A/N: Kinktober, I dont know when Ill be encouraged/inspired enough to finish it, besides its obviously already overdue. This was written in a little under 5 hours and I think its pretty good.

The Angst isnt too bad, a bit of a weak ending but its alright.

F/F= Fav Food F/A=Fav Animal F/C=Fav Colour F/D=Fav Drink

Fandom: Boku No Hero Acadamia (My Hero Acadamia

Genre: Angst

Warnings/Contains: Angst. Slight/mentions of; Insomnia, Cheating, Abuse and Death(Reader), Sicknesses(Unspecified) and Suicude(Not directly)

Word Count: 1,934

Angst Level: 2-3

—

Bakugou and Y/n have been dating since they graduated college, they live together and Bakugou has been coming home late because “his boss is asking him to do extra hours” y/n being a good girlfriend, stays up and waits for him to get home so she can help him calm down from the foul attitude he’d usually have.

—

Trying not to fall asleep most the time, she would rarely get some sleep just to make sure he’s alright.

What he really does while his GIRLFRIEND is slowly falling ill for his sake is gradually getting closer to his coworker, spending the late nights with her and not his own girlfriend.

—

Slowly, week after week he starts recognising the late hours he’d yell at y/n for ‘Not minding her own business’ when she asks ‘Where he was’ or ‘How he was’, he’d notice his coworker being nothing like y/n, for example; when y/n would hug him, he’d feel warm inside, not with her.

When y/n would compliment him, he could tell she meant it, but she didnt even bother to. When y/n would wait for him and care for him, though she didnt? It just wasnt the same at all, it felt useless, he felt weird, sad in fact, he didnt know how he felt but he knew that if he looked into the e/c eyes of the person he loved; he would practically fall apart.

—

Checking the mail when he arrived home to see a letter from their local doctor to his y/n and opening it to see that his girlfriend had a bad condition with no possible ‘cure’ or ‘last resort’ to help with her condition caused by stress and insomnia he was scared, he rushed inside the house, stressfully slamming the door shut and walking into the living room to find his what looked like a now fully alert girlfriend with dark bags under her widened eyes with her hair a little messy, she tried to keep it tamed, but the first thing she still asked him was if he was alright, then she checked his forehead for a temperature while he stared speechless at her, mouth ajared and eyes wide with regret, sadness, anything in remorse “Youre sick and you didnt tell me?” He managed to mutter out after grabbing a soft hold onto her hands, something he hadnt done in a while because all his touches to her were violent and dangerous, the way he just spoke to her was the calmest in weeks, months even because he had been noticing the raggedness in his throat whenever he left to work.

She looked down, sadly, “I tried telling you but you told me I was just lying and being selfish..” his breath hitched realising that she wouldn’t live because of him.

Sure she told him she was fine and he didnt need to worry or that it wasnt his fault but that only made him realise how selfless she was, how much she really loved him and how idiotic he was, he finally realised what an idiot he was, a dirty unloyal cheater is what he called himself, undeserving of the very person he vaguely remembered promising to himself that he would give his life and propose to, because, because? He didnt remember because his mind was poisened with the thoughts of the nights he spent with someone else.

He knew that the memories would rush into his mind either after she died or while he tried his best to care for her during her last few days, when he couldve been doing this for until they grew old together.

He didnt remember why he did what he did but he knew that would be the greatest regret of his life; destined to burn into his mind while he recited her very words about moving on and living his life as strong as he always did or at least now could-though she didnt say that last part herself, he knew its what he knows wont stay out of his mind.

—

And so the days went by, he had stayed home from work to comfort her while in denial about the inevitable death ((Unus Annus👀)) coming to her.

—

He gave as much love to her that he could, made her the food she desperately needed, made her feel as needed as she was to him, bathed her himself and made her feel comfortable.

Even when she knew he was cheating on her she never stopped loving him, making sure HE was alright even when her very own health was slowly dropping as the weeks passed.

She knew what he did and she still didnt stop caring for him and his health, not her own. She shuffled and shivered in his embrace, causing him to adjust the blanket on her while smiling softly, the other rested on her back hugging her closer to him.

When her breathing evened once again he continued thinking, ‘Was it worth it?’ He would sometimes think to himself while brushing her hair.

He remembered the time he asked her if he was that worth it that she would sacrifice her health for;

‘Was I that worth it?’ He asked her while he adjusted the f/a bag on her back, to which she sadly looked down and said ‘You werent supposed to find out, When that letter arrived I was supposed to leave after seeing how bad my condition is,’ he stared down at her in shock as she continued,

“If I had gotten to the letter before you and left it would all be a little better..you wouldve forgotten me and moved on, I know you wouldve. I didnt want to bother you anymore, so I figured it’d be better if I left and probably went and lived with Hanta or Jirou instead of dying and leaving my body for you to find..I didnt want to cause so much trouble for you..’ His eyed watered and so did hers when she looked up at him..

—

Driving her to what she knew would be her last festival and what he denied it to be, he held her hand as if it would be the last time he would ever get the chance to.

—

She pulled him weakly by the hand, taking him from ride to ride—while he complained about how it might not be safe enough for her to ride, she didnt listen though, she still dragged him on, the cycle kept on going with y/n taking him on rides wether he worried about her safety or not, she took him to get some food and candy from time to time, she even asked him to win the f/c bear for and he nodded.

—

They watched the fireworks with her arms wrapped around her new bear and her bag and his wrapped around her, he watched as she looked up at the bright lights in the sky, he noticed how they reflected in them.

—

When they got home, she didnt tell him that she felt more unwell than usual, she just told him that ‘I had a great night, ‘Suki. I really love you, you know?’ She hugged him while he wondered where this came from but didnt take much mind as he listened with a smile on his own, she then continued ‘When Im gone, I dont want you to be sad,’ she whispered, ‘Dont say that.’ He shook his head, arms wrapping atound her and hugging her close ‘Youll be fine, you told me youll be fine..’ ‘I know..I just want you to know that, I love you and I want you to be happy and smile, dont dwell on the past, I forgive you, you know that right?’

He nodded, picking her up and taking her to their room, undressing her and putting her pyjamas on then the same with himself while she climbed under the cover and continued, ‘I mean it okay? So dont think it was your fault’ ‘But it was’ he muttered, sadly. ‘It wasnt.’ He didnt argue, he just stayed quiet, contemplating and dwelling on how he knew it was. ‘Are you hungry? Ill go make you some f/f..’ he left the room, not waiting for an answer, leaving you to look down disappointedly.

He didnt want to listen because he knew what you were going to say. Weakly closing your eyes, your hands wrapping around your torso, you opened your eyes a few minutes later, you felt awful, you felt your time closing in you, you swallowed some saliva or at least tried to, you heard Bakugou walk back in and the smell of f/f invaded your senses, you looked up and he walked over with two trays, both holding f/f and f/d, you smiled a small smile that weakly faltered when he put the trays down on the bed and grabbed the remote to the tv in your shared room.

—

That night when he held you in his arms and ran his finger through your hair and you slowly faded away, youre heart beat faltering, to which only the bear you held—between you two chest to chest—could hear.

‘Suki?’

‘Hm?’

‘I love you so much you know that right?’

‘I know..I love you too y/n’

You smiled, hearing him as he spoke genuinely, he really did love you, he just didnt remember or realise that he did so much until he woke up the next morning, your time had come and gone, your heart—

—‘Y/n? Baby wake up, its time to get up’ he shook you softly, you still clung to both him and the bear between you both—faltered that night, it had finally given up and you had lost your last game—

—‘Y/n wake up!’ He checked your breathing, your pulse, anything he could think of to try and give himself some hope that you weren—

You didnt want to die unhappy but you didnt want to stress him or frustrate him when or if he found your body had you stayed and he didnt read the letter.

—t dead, to try and give himself some hope that you werent dead, but the large lack or little to none of heartbeat and the fact that you werent breathing only made the tears fall from his eyes faster—

Its not the time to dwell on the past anymore, you just had to focus on not being scared of what was to come next, so instead you took in as much of Bakugou as you could, you latched closer onto him and took in his warmth and tried to focus on the bear, the calm bear that basically had no idea what was happening around it.

—‘Please wake up, Please wake up’ he repeated while dialling Emergency Services—

At least Suki would have it to take care of him while you were gone. You closed your eyes, and let out one last breath, feeling his grip tighten on you, a tear ran down your cheek as death took you with a gentle touch.

—

—‘I love you’ Bakugou whispered to your grave, tears running down his face as he hugged the bear the won you at the festival the night you died in his arms..when the found his body and a note saying,

‘Bury me with the bear next to her -Katsuki Bakugou’

It turned out he really did love you?

[things-i-want-2-tell-u-but-cant]

12/12/18 - 9.39 pm

I’m broken and numb. My mind is fuzzy, my stomach is in knots and I feel sick. I don’t know what to think, feel or do. Everything is up in the air and I hate it. I hate all of this.

After 7 months with you, going on 8, I never expected us to be in this position. Tip toeing around our problems, hurting each other. I have never been so unhappy as I have been this past month. And don’t think I’m blaming this on you, because I’m not. I know I am just as much to blame, if not more. After our talk on Friday I’ve realised that a lot of our problems have come from me. I say things expecting you to realise what I’m meaning, when you take everything at face value and dont read into anything. Which, I would say is probably the only cause of our problems really... and for that I am so fucking sorry. My heart is literally aching thinking about everything I’ve caused.

You’ve told me before that I need to be honest, and to tell you things - the reason you’re perspective has changed. And that I understand, but I hope you can see things from my side and see my reasoning behind why I can’t. The truth is I’m terrified. As it is, I don’t know what you want. And I feel like if I tell you the truth and how I’m feeling... I’ll ruin every chance with you and you’re going to leave if you don’t like what I have to say. And I know that probably won’t happen. But at the moment I feel like I am gripping onto us by a thread.

Which is where the whole things with other girls come in. It is true, I did tell you that it was okay to see other people. But I didn’t actually mean it in a sense. When I found out that you were talking to Khadra and that it seemed more than I thought it was... I was hurt. My heart broke and my stomach dropped. Truth be told, I knew the whole day while you were at my house on Sunday, I just didn’t want to let you know it effected me so much. But from that, I instantly felt like I wasn’t enough for you. You already had told me you wanted nothing from me but a friendship, you had been messaging girls on tinder asking to meet up and god knows what else... so thats why I said it was okay. Because after saying that you would either tell me you didn’t want to - and tell me I was enough for you.... or you would go to other chicks and prove that you didn’t want me at all... which unfortunately is what happened. And in my mind I already don’t feel good enough. So instantly all I could see was that you had found someone skinnier, prettier funnier and probably nicer than me. And that hurt. I’m not blaming it on you at all either, I just wanted to explain the reasoning behind why I said it and then got so upset by it all - its 100% still my fault it happened. 

Another thing I accept is that my type of communication is not the best. I struggle a lot to be able to say what I’m thinking - like forming the words is really hard for me and something I struggle with a lot. I generally have so much going on in my head that the only way I can make it make sense is by writing it all down - which is why I generally send you long messages like this haha (SORRY). But yeah so thats why it also may seem like I may hold back. Just know, it isn’t because I dont want you to know, its because Im literally just overwhelmed by emotion and I can’t make sense of it until I am able to sit down and write it all down. If i dont it literally will take me days to realise what the fuck is going on haha. But if you decide to take a shot on me - I’ve got a way around this dont you worry!

I apologize for everything I have said to you the past week - I know some of it would have been hard to hear and probably hurt you.. I didn’t intend on that. I think I’ve just been hurting for so long, I couldn’t it anymore. The truth is, I don’t think I can do the just friends thing. I tried my hardest, I really did. But at the end of the day I love you. And i know you don’t feel the same. But I just can’t sit there while I’m just “one of the boys” to you and I consider you to be my whole word (little bit of an exaggeration but ya get my point). 

You told me that I need to look at myself in a more positive light... And I get that. But one part of that is realizing I deserve better than just to be some girl who sits there waiting on a man she loves hand and foot while Theres a good chance that he could be fucking some other girl the whole time without her knowing. And I know that’s probably dramatic in your eyes. But I’ve spent so many years of my life doing this for other guys. I sit around, giving them my all, only to get sidelined and used as a toy when theyre bored or in between girlfriends. I love you with all of my heart but I don’t want to go back to that. To feeling useless and worthless.

So the choice is yours. I don’t expect you to come up with an answer within a day. You can take as long as you want or need. But before you do. Theres some things I need you to know. 

Firstly, I know you’re used to people leaving. But i swear to you, that isn’t going to happen with me. If anything, the past few weeks have proved that. Even in the hardest of times, like the past month, I will choose you. I will fight for you the whole way through, and never ever give up on you if you let me. And I also know, that its also YOU having to leave which scares you. But i hope you get that if we’re together, I would go with you as soon as I could. And until that day I would save every cent I had to be able to visit you every chance I have. I would call you every day. I would do everything I could to stick by your side. Because I know you haven’t had much of a chance to have someone do that, to have someone that stays by your side no matter what happens and no matter what the distance. But i promise you, if given the chance, I would do that all for you and so much more. Because, believe it or not I have the same fear. You’re the only person who has stayed... everyone else, even my friends has given up on me. Even my family. When i moved up to Auckland I literally went 6 months without once seeing my mum. So i know what its like for people to be ripped away from you or to leave your life.. and I would never ever put you through that. I’m sticking with ya until the day you tell me youre done. 

I also need you to know that it’s okay. You have this strong fear associated with me. You’re so worried and scared that you’re going to hurt me or fuck my life up. And because of that you hold me at arms length. Every time you let me close and become vulnerable, you push me away and go back to wanting nothing to do with me. I know you think you’re a mess. That could be true, but fuck. Look at me, I’m the biggest mess of them all. But that doesn’t mean anything. It doesnt mean you dont deserve love, it doesnt mean you’re going to hurt everyone in you’re life who gets close to you. We have a lot to still learn about ourselves, and thats okay. But I need you to know that I’m willing to go through that all with you. We’ve grown so much as people in the last 7 months, just imagine what we can achieve with more time. And if you haven’t fucked my life up by now, I’m pretty sure that it won’t happen considering I’m growing stronger every day.

And that’s another thing. I still don’t think you believe how much you mean to me. Like Tira and I constantly told you on Friday but you wouldn’t accept it. And I think the one thing that highlights that, is the fact that after feeling the way I’ve been feeling and after everything, I’m still here. Even when I said we were done - I couldnt help but message you everyday. I was constantly wondering if you were okay, etc. You’re the first person I’ve even done this with, trying to talk everything out. Usually I would give up and just walk away. But with you... I can’t. 

I know I probably sound fucking crazy (my bad if i do), I just love you. 

I love the fact that you can write a rap in less than an hour - and a fucking good rap at that. I love the way you get self conscious and shy when you tell me about the things you like or find funny and always do the typical “hahhahaha nah i dont know”. I love the way you’re starting to open up to me, like on Sunday morning telling me about your childhood and your songs. I love the way even when you thought you hated me, you still went out of your way to check if I was alright. I love the way how you always put me first - like you were so mad and upset on Sunday morning but as soon as you saw I was crying you like melted and were so kind to me. I love the way I feel so comfortable at youre house, like ugh, I adore your mum shes so lovely. I love the way you make me feel at home, something I haven’t felt since I was year 6. I love the way you believe in me more than anyone else i know, and even when we’re not in a good space, you still stand up for me. Theres not one thing I don’t love about you, apart from you’re farts, those are raaank. But at the end of the day what I’m trying to say is there isn’t anything you could do that would make me hate you. We’re young, we have so much to learn about ourselves and each other. There are going to be days when we want to kill each other. Theres days where we may hurt each other. But I know for a fact, that we care for each other so much, and only want the best for each other. I just idunno, I’ve spent over half a year with you... and ive enjoyed myself so much it feels like its only been about 3 months. I wouldnt have wanted to spend the time with anyone else and im so greatful and appreciative of you. 

I’m not asking you for the world. I’m not expecting you to want to be in a relationship with me and start calling me you’re girlfriend over night. Thats unrealistic. But for me, It’s more a choice of whether you want to pursue other girls like khadra, megan and morgan. Or you want to delete your tinder, and give us a shot. We can still start off as friends. We dont have to have sex, or kiss or hold hands - i mean i love doing all of that and would do it in a heartbeat. But what im trying to say is I dont have any expectations. I just want to know if you’re willing to take a shot on me and not flirt with other girls, etc.... or if I should do everything in my power to move on from you and let you be...

Either way, just know that you’re an amazing person. you deserve the absolute world and the best love the world can give. And i’m sorry if you dont think I can give that to you

hope work isnt too bad tomorrow! Wish you were coming to graduation with me - Im going to miss you. LY xx

[anna-2807]

As if the emotional toll isn’t rough enough, couples who split must then confront harsh financial realities. It’s not just the cost of getting the divorce, but also the often-extreme lifestyle shift that comes when one household severs into two.

What are some of those harsh financial consequences of divorce?

According to George Mason University Sociology and law professor Lenore Weitzman in her book, The Divorce Revolution, we see a staggering drop in women’s household incomes, while men, on the other hand, see continued income growth. A typical woman endures a 73 percent reduction in her standard of living after a divorce. Her ex-husband enjoys a 42 percent increased standard of living.

People often say, “I have to get out of my marriage,” but after digging into the numbers they are shocked and wonder if they can afford it. One of my female clients described her financial dilemma the following way:

My husband, who makes no secret of his dislike for me, makes a good income and together we own a lovely house. The alternative to living with him is being on my own with two little kids and no job training or skill set. Should I stay or should I go?

Another client summed it up this way:

Being in a divorce battle and dividing the assets is akin to being held hostage by guerrillas. The sooner you can get out, the better.

If a couple is unable to work through their divorce amicably or with the help of some form of dispute resolution, using an attorney will double, even triple the cost of the divorce.

Money and Emotions = Oil and Water

Let’s talk about money and psychology for a moment. Usually, money is thought of in black-and-white terms – either there is enough of it or there isn’t. However, the truth is that money is chock full of psychological, emotional, and symbolic meanings.

A person’s relationship with money mirrors his or her conflicts, vulnerabilities, fears, needs and desires. Our feelings about money and how to manage it are largely dependent on our unique family history.

Emotions and money can be a dangerous combination. In fact, during divorce financial negotiations, emotions can be your worst enemy, leading to both higher legal bills and frazzled nerves. Yet, in the grip of fear for one’s very financial survival, exercising rational judgment can be an uphill battle.

The Emotional Costs of Divorce

Divorce challenges the basic sense of who you are, who you’ve been and who you will become. Transitioning from being part of a couple to being unattached is a journey all divorcing people must embark on.

There are two different processes people go through during the emotional roller coaster of divorce. First, there is the struggle for a more complete sense of personal identity. Post-divorce, you think, If I’m not a part of a couple, then who am I? How am I going to do this on my own? Second, there is the grief of losing a loved one.

The Importance of Grief to Post-Divorce Healing

All divorcing people will grieve.

From the time we are born, we attach. And where there is attachment, inevitably there will be a loss. And where there is a loss, as in divorce, there is grief. Grief consists of a mixture of all of your raw feelings, both positive and negative, sometimes contradictory, which can include longing, fear, anger, love, sadness hate, regret, and guilt.

People in the midst of grieving can experience typical symptoms of depression: difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, negative feelings, low self-esteem and lack of energy.

Your instinct may be to find a way around the pain. Don’t even go there or your capacity for lifelong happiness may be impaired. Ultimately, divorce can cause massive financial and emotional hardship in two people’s lives. Navigating through this post-divorce period is challenging.

Can Unhappy Marriages Become Happy Again?

You fall in love. Neither one of you has a clue about the problems that will begin to hit you just a few years into the marriage – sometimes just a few months into the marriage. If any of us had the slightest inkling about the bumps in the road ahead, we might be inclined to avoid marriage altogether. Problems encountered in your marriage are rooted in events that occurred when you were an infant and child when your identity was formed. How completely your early needs were met will be mirrored in your relationship with your spouse. If your needs were poorly met, you may expect your spouse to meet them for you – a recipe for disaster.

The truth is that every married couple will be forced to deal with difficulties and many will face the decision to stay married or to divorce. Individuals at the crossroads of divorce sometimes struggle with a false choice: “Do I divorce so that I can find happiness again, or do I keep the family together and remain unhappy?”

You may be surprised to learn that most unhappy marriages become happy again if couples can stick it out. While some divorces are necessary, many marriages can be repaired.

It may be difficult to face the issues that you and your spouse are struggling with, but research suggests that couples who can manage to stay together usually end up happier down the road than couples who divorce.

I have heard many individuals express regret that they and their ex-spouse did not work harder to try to save their marriage. In the end, divorce did not make their life better.

Conclusion

We know several things for sure:

Any couple who ties the knot can face problems in their marriage.

The process of divorce and its aftermath is devastating, both emotionally and financially.

Getting divorced and remarried does not improve one’s chances for a successful outcome.

Perhaps problems in a marriage should be considered a wake-up call to work on the marriage rather than take the road leading to divorce.

Wouldn’t it be better if every couple saw their pain as a catalyst to deeply examine their relationship, get professional help and grow stronger? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each individual could be honest with themselves and take personal responsibility for their contribution to the problems? If partners choose to invest in their relationship and make needed changes instead of repeating their mistakes, they might be able to avoid an unnecessary divorce. And if they do finally decide to divorce, their personal work in couples therapy might increase their chance of a successful marriage next time. Either way, those alarming statistics could improve.

Read more at https://www.drdeborahhecker.com/blog/should-you-divorce-or-save-your-marriage