#usually i can put myself into a place to like. envision. and write accordingly

[gothamcityneedsme]

i hate writing about food

[rpgmgames]

March’s Featured Game: acai cOrner

DEVELOPER(S): moca & Mitty ENGINE: RPG Maker 2003 GENRE: RPG, Adventure, Surreal SUMMARY: acai cOrner is about Mizuki, someone who has fallen into the sewers and who happens to find their favorite electric guitar! Upon obtaining the guitar, Mizuki turns into a magical girl who must defend herself against spooky sewer creatures using the guitar's magical powers.

Download the game here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *moca: Hi, I'm moca, a Starbucks barista aspiring to be a writer and game developer. I have been making RPG Maker games for about six years now, with my first two projects being a Pokémon fan-game and a Corpse Party fan-game. Those two happen to be my two favorite franchises as well! I have also created the RPG Maker game MOMOKA (IGMC 2018). I have founded a group called 'Team Shibu!' dedicated to making horror games! Our current project is a RPG Maker survival horror game named 'Katharsis'.

*Mitty: Hey there, I'm Mitty! I've been working with Moca on several games for a while now, helping with mostly graphics! Please support him, as he is very kind and hardworking!! I'm also the main developer of a game called "Marinette", so I hope you'll check that one out too, when the demo is released!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *moca: acai cOrner is an experimental spooky RPG Maker game that only uses 4 colors! You are a magical girl with a just-as-magical electric guitar that you use to fend off spooky sewer slimes and other weird enemies you find in the surreal sewer system. It's half exploration and half RPG battles. What inspired me to create acai cOrner initially was to actually get myself back into the groove of making games again. I had just recently came back from a hiatus and found myself having trouble getting back into the development of 'Katharsis'. That's when I decided to make a short, experimental game to get the juices flowing.

How long did you work on your project? *moca: acai cOrner was finished in just about under a month!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *moca: I had always wanted to make a Yume Nikki-like game and thought this was the perfect opportunity to try. So for the more surreal parts of acai cOrner, I took inspiration from Yume Nikki and a Homestuck random planet generator. Gameplay wise though, I took inspiration from a RPG Maker game called Ghost Suburb 0! I really loved how unique it was, especially with the timer and no dialogue aspect. I knew I wanted to do something with a timer, so I tried a rogue-like approach with the gameplay.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *moca: If you played any of my previous projects, you know that acai cOrner is vastly different than anything that I have ever done. I'm so used to using words to describe the violence in my games, so when it came to making the story, I had a lot of trouble. It wasn't until I looked deeper into why people like these types of games that I had realized that people like to interpret the story on their own, guided by exploration, to enjoy these games. After that, I let loose a bit and made something more open-ended. Another challenge was the difficulty. I was the only one playtesting the game, and since I knew the game front and back, and had no trouble getting the ending. That's why when I sent out demos to friends, I was really discouraged to hear that the experience was mostly frustrating and rage quitting-inducing haha. I worked closely with their feedback and made changes accordingly to make the experience less frustrating but still difficult. *Mitty: I think I was going through a weird artblock during the development of the game, so for some of the illustrations and backdrops for each area's fights, Moca sketched out the basic idea of what it could look like, and I just put my spin on it! It made the work much easier and faster!

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *moca: Well, the game was meant to be short so there wasn't room for any big changes. Sure there are a couple gameplay changes and enemy tweaks, but not anything mindblowing. I added in the idea of making four surreal worlds kinda last minute, if that counts, haha.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *moca: In the beginning, it was just me! I didn't think I was gonna need any outside help since this was supposed to be a relatively easy project to release, but the further in development I got, the more I realized the game needed pizazz. The four color limitation wasn't enough for my lack of graphical talent. That's when I contacted Mitty about helping with the games battle backdrops and sprite animations! She is also a member of Team Shibu!, but we have collabed together even before that. Her art really made the project shine and I enjoy working with them on games! *Mitty: Moca contacted me, and I wanted to help! We are working together on another game called Katharsis, so we are quite familiar with each other. I like working with other people, especially if I'm not in the lead, it releases a bit of the pressure I feel sometimes ahaha

What is the best part of developing a game? *moca: To me, it's seeing everything come together and just... working exactly the way you envisioned it. As a game developer, you section the game off into parts to make development much more organized and faster but seeing it all come together in the end. Pure bliss *chefs kiss*. *Mitty: I like a bit of everything, but currently I've been enjoying animating and spritework, as well as map assets' designs a little more than usual!

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *moca: Mm... not really! I have an idea of what the engine can do, so when I do go out of my way to player other RPG Maker games, it's usually for writing inspiration rather than gameplay inspiration. Ghost Suburb 0 is something that I accidentally stumbled upon and immediately fell in love with it the minute I played it haha. (Fun fact: the developer of Ghost Suburb 0 is apart of Team Shibu! and is in charge of monster design!)

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *moca: There is a rat in the game that is internally called 'Ratthew' who leads you into a funky room. I relate them the most. *Mitty: I relate to the land sharks the most on a spiritual level. They are pretty much confused beans, and that's very relatable.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *moca: I wish I added more random spooky events and trap rooms. But the game was also supposed to be short and I knew that if I kept adding more and more things, development was never gonna end haha.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *moca: Well, by the time this interview comes out, there should be a new update for the game. The update should include 100% custom music by a talented composer, and a nerf in difficulty. As for sequels, who knows! The next time you see acai cOrner may be in 3D.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *moca: Definitely the fan reaction! The satisfaction of seeing your work being noticed by people and actually enjoying makes me happy. It's also the relief of just... finishing something! *Mitty: For this particular project I was obviously looking forward to seeing what people said about the little animations and such ahaha! I also was curious about the reaction to the timed difficulty mechanic, I had never seen anything like that before Moca presented it to me, so I had no idea on what people's feedback would be.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *moca: How people will handle the difficulty. The game isn't supposed to be completed on your first playthrough, but in 2-3 playthroughs. There are rooms and places that are meant to waste your time that you should ideally skip the more you play. By later playthroughs, you should be shaving time and be better. I understand that it's not handled as best I could, but I think the experience should still be challenging and hopefully fun! *Mitty: I was a little conflicted on the timed mechanic, I loved it because it's pretty original and helps set an interesting athmosphere of worry and unease, and also seems to tell a bit of the vague story; and at the same time I don't like it much because I prefer more story-driven games and the vagueness mixed with the mechanic feels different from what I'm used to playing! I think it's more of a personal taste kind of thing, it was an experimental jam game, after all!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *moca: Take it easy! Take short breaks throughout development. And most importantly, have fun. If it's a hobby and it's making you overly stressed, just take a step back!

Question from last month's featured dev @ressurflection: What would you say is the weakest part of your game development? *moca: Procrastination. I'm so bad at sticking to my own schedule, it's something that I try to keep in check when working with a team especially.

We mods would like to thank moca & Mitty for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out acai cOrner if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[funkymbtifiction]

Hiya, totally new to MBTI and all I am sure of is that I am probably some kind of intuitive person most likely either INTP, ENTP, ENFP, INFP or INTJ. Hoping you can help me narrow down stuff, and oh keep up the great work! I enjoy looking at my favourite fictional characters through your lens of MBTI typing.

Mod note: ENTP.

[Stuff I didn’t comment on removed for length]

Extrovert/Introvert My thoughts change pretty swiftly. I can go seamlessly from one topic to another, and come back to the old topic, occasionally draw connections between the topics on the spot which sometimes even I am surprised by. […] Oh man! I never stick to one decision, and even when I do it turns into like… a game of Chinese whispers where it starts out being one thing and towards the end, it has taken on a different form. With jobs, I do think frequently about quitting in favor of pursuing something way more interesting and fulfilling. I am a bit impractical in the sense that if I want out, I just go ahead and quit without really having a back-up job (even though I know it is good and ideal to do so, but just because it may be ideal to do so, I won’t wait around till it has happened. I can get really antsy when there is a brighter carrot being dangled in front of me and something is holding me back). A big motivator is definitely the promise of a bigger, brighter, something tomorrow. Even if its just vague outlines, it can get me pretty excited but also I can burn with excitement over an idea and if it doesn’t garner sufficient action and encouragement, I can get easily discouraged and drop it, feeling insecure of the merit of the idea or just drop it randomly, no reasons given. I just move on to the next thing, or sometimes I reflect on why that idea didn’t work […]My interests last anywhere between a few days or years, they are many and varied, I can get really caught up in them, investing in them even like this is going to be some lifelong thing. Turns out it is a phase, and I have had quite a few of these phases. Wanting to be an editor, dancer, taking up hospitality management full time, going into law enforcement, film-making, music, writing. The idea of change/recasting myself into a new role-new life is immensely exciting to me but often I find that I am underwhelmed when I do go after what I want. It is like the chase is more exciting, than doing the actual thing. […]I never tend to have singular visions of the future. I have multiple visions or plans that I keep working towards (or not, trusting that the image will keep changing and I will eventually end up adapting) I am okay with not working on all of them at once, as long as I know my chance isn’t shut off. My natural focus is directed towards mental stimulation and constant improvement of (quality and quantity of) interactions. I frequently abandon projects, often before I have even etched them out. I often have an image in my mind that I would like to draw but I have so fully etched it out in my head, and even end up envisioning the final product that by the time I actually take pencil to paper, I no longer want to do the thing. It just feels spent.

Ne-dom.

2. Thinking/Feeling I am far more stable with my relationships though I do tire of people easily. There are days when I don’t wish to talk to my best friend even, and I simply disappear without explanation, preferring to come back later and make sure we are good. It is important to me that we be okay though, because even after pulling something like that, I like to ensure there is some sense of harmony, I don’t like getting into conflict with friends and have never cut one out of my life so far.

Strong feeling function, but could be either Fi or Fe.

My personal understanding of my feelings is crap. I have had to work on it, and have gotten better at it. Usually I misread emotional cues in an environment, say something inappropriate and then kind of beat myself up (this is where my above mentioned social anxiety kicks in) over it till the other person tells me it wasn’t a big deal and that we are cool. I don’t know how they tend to drive me, honestly. Pretty bad at the emotional landscape. How they show up is in unexpected ways, it is like I never have a handle on the emotions especially under stress. It just kind of erupts. It is not that I bottle it up, think of it like a dormant volcano that’s been steadily spewing ash and stuff for sometime, and suddenly it just goes BOOM!

Bolded = likely tert-Fe.

Oh definitely, external validation matters more to me though I really wish I were confident enough from within to ignore those voices.  [...] I am actually pretty articulate and wordy, so I have no trouble expressing how I feel, the way I solve emotional issues is by dissecting it with a friend and working my way through that emotional maze. I don’t always process immediately the intensity of the emotion that I am feeling which is what leads to the earlier dormant volcano kind of scenario because sometimes, even I am surprised by the depth of emotional impact Person/Event XYZ had on me. I realize this days/weeks/months later at times.

Fe.

Work example - When I run into a problem at work, my first instinct is always like that of Hermione Granger. “There must be an answer, I just need to look for it.” So, I then look at the client’s question and try to go beyond the mere wording, see what it actually means, what they want, what the scope of the thing is and I look at it in a lot of different ways. I go in deep while solving it, taking apart and examining for individual components while ensuring the solutions fits as a whole. I look at it in the context of the client’s work, their product and try to see their query as part of a bigger picture, an unsolved puzzle that I then put back together. Also, I am pretty efficient at jumping into their shoes and seeing what they might want and accordingly tweak my answers. I occasionally improv while presenting, and end up ambitiously biting off more than I can chew, which is especially hard for me considering my general poor time management/procrastination.

Ne/Ti.

3. Intuition based questions Vague terms usually, however sometimes I can get incredibly detailed if it is visual things but even then it is like I am describing a memory of it and not the actual thing. My way of looking at the world is like Portrait mode where everything else around can go out of focus, with an unerringly sharp zoom in on the object that I want to focus on.

Bolded = inferior Si / the rest, Si.

When I am in a new situation, I assess what I do know about the situation and how I can go from there. I certainly don’t jump into the situation and take control quickly. I look for cues in my environment to see what I should do next, keep switching gears to adapt, while often mentally reviewing if there was a similar situation ever earlier, or something I read about that could help me in the situation.

Ne/Si.

Inferior functions: Under stress, I comfort eat, I cling to certain things which I know will make me feel good, end up overdoing things or spiral into this dark place where I can never see any hope, or good possibilities ever again. I just keep feedback looping negatively to myself, and I find that I am unable to climb out of the hole dug by myself because of using negative confirmation bias from reliving past evidence of why I am right, why things won’t/can’t change etc.

Inferior Si grip.

Conclusion: ENTP

- ENFP Mod

[myhealthshopsanjida]

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[eeveelutionsforequality]

(1) As much as I know of the self diagnosis vs self advocacy debate, I haven't seen anyone talk about how to self advocate when it comes to mental health. I strongly suspect I am bipolar, since I have a confirmed history of major depressive episodes, but I also have periods of experiencing symptoms of hypomania. I was also subjected to bullshit social skills classes in high school (I'm autistic), which among other things, taught me to communicate indirectly to avoid hurting people's feelings.

(2) I know it is caused me problems with communicating, but I am still in the habit of doing that, and I realized that may be why I'm not getting anywhere when I bring it up to my therapist. I'm not comfortable with resorting to self-diagnosis at this time, but I also think the lack of a correct diagnosis is why therapy has not been helping me cope as much as it could. How do I bring it up in a way that will let my therapist know I want her to address my concerns?

I praise self-advocacy as an alternative to self-diagnosis, because those ballsy enough to walk into a psychiatrist's office or a conversation and declare "I have [thing]" are probably able to more rationally approach the subject in a "These are my symptoms and I think it could be this..." way. But just like how autobiographies aren't the only kind of biography, self-advocacy is far from the only kind of advocacy.

You don't need to be your own advocate, somebody else can come along and advocate for you - a friend, a family member, a volunteer from one of the local advocacy groups, etc. There's a group near me that advocates specifically for autistic people, for example.

If your conversation skills are inhibiting you from being able to adequately discuss things with a professional, you don't have to do it alone - it's definitely worth doing some googling, popping into some places that have leaflets for that sort of thing, etc, and finding out what's available near where you live if there's nobody in your life that can do that for you.

I have two advocates - one is a family member and one is an honourary family member. I do research, send it to them, and they keep notes about my symptoms, fluctuations, things I've shown them, etc, so that my memory issues don't become a barrier between me and what I want to explain. It's a life-saver.

At my last appointment, one came along and helped me fill in the forms, meaning that I got about twice the information down that I would've got down if I was relying on only my own brain. When I had to go to a tribunal, one came along then too, and they were excellent at spotting how the judge was trying to twist my words and butting in to correct him.

If you're more comfortable self-advocating then there are a number of things that you can do to make the process easier.

Firstly, keep a diary. Every day you need to write down your symptoms, your mood, notable moments, things you want to ask the doctor, food, fluid, sleep, alcohol, etc. Take that with you.

Secondly, go over that before the appointment and write yourself a "script". It doesn't need to be detailed or word for word, just get down the most important points and the way in which you want to convey them (NOT the way in which the memory of social skills classes tells you to convey them, but what you'd want somebody to say to you if they were trying to convey this effectively to you). Take that with you.

What I did with my DID was write a draft script on a piece of A4 paper a couple of weeks beforehand, and then I let my alters add to it or make notes on it with their opinions - I took that in with me and showed the doctor, and the differences in handwriting and wording had a much bigger impact than I was expecting and really helped in getting them to seriously consider that possibility.

Thirdly, don't waffle. I know it's tempting to be like "I have to get all of the details out in the first speech", but the therapist is going to ask questions afterwards. Boil what you need to say down to its key components, the facts that you need her to understand as the foundation moving forwards, and work out how to effectively convey those in less time than somebody would get the urge to interrupt - no tangents, no innuendo, just "This. That. The other thing too." But don't skip important details for the sake of brevity - find the balance.

Fourthly, make sure that you have the right psychiatrist. The counsellor that I had in college and the clinical psychiatrist that I had in hospital were both able to pick up on the things that made me more comfortable and more able to speak, and both knew not to interrupt me - the two of them learnt more about me and made me more comfortable than any other professional, just by letting me drink a hot chocolate and doodle on my phone. The psychologist who did my mindfulness therapy, on the other hand, insulted me for using my phone and my wall became 87% thicker in less than a second. You have to be working with somebody who lets you speak and who understands the way in which you speak.

Fifthly, if you know what helps you speak, tell them; if you don't know what helps you speak, begin the conversation with words to the effect of "I'm really struggling to get this out, but I prepared really hard, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me say my piece, and then we can discuss it afterwards instead of you interrupting me and making it harder for me to get out what I need to get out." If they then interrupt you, remind them that at the beginning of this they promised not to do so.

Remind yourself mentally that this is your therapy, this is your recovery, this is for you, this is important, and you deserve to be heard.

Sixthly, do research but downplay how much research you've done... "I stumbled across something that accurately described my experience and they called it hypomania" sounds a lot better than "I heard of hypomania on tumblr and spent twelve hours researching it" because the latter says to a doctor "I convinced myself that I have this because it sounded cool".

I was seeing psychiatrists back when the emo fad started, I was talking to them at the height of "Teenagers are all pretending to have depression because they read about it on the internet and think it's cool" days, so I know first-hand how eager some professionals can get to jump to that conclusion - unfortunately, there were times when seeing doctors felt more like a test of my ability to word the truth in a more digestible way than an opportunity to actually talk about how I was feeling.

An essential part of research should be to get your terms right - I fucked up back in the day because I referred to my compulsion to mime slitting my wrists or shooting myself in the head when I'm panicked as a "suicidal gesture" (however there's a medical term, "suicide gesture", that sounds almost identical and it means when you feign a suicide attempt by injuring yourself in a non-deadly manner, typically for attention) and not as a compulsion, which is part of how my OCD diagnosis got wrongly changed to a BPD diagnosis. I had never even heard of the terminology, I was just saying "I have to do a suicidal gesture when I'm panicking" meaning "When I'm panicked I have the compulsion to mime ways in which I envision killing myself", it was just poor wording, I had no idea that it was a medical term with an entirely different meaning. That created a huge misunderstanding, as you can imagine.

Seventhly is some advice that a friend gave me and honestly it's one of the best things that I've ever heard and comes in two parts: 1) play to your strengths, and 2) use your acting voice.

So part 2 is the easy one, everybody has something called a chest voice - it's a deeper voice that you use when singing or performing that projects better. Look up some YouTube videos on how to use your chest voice and practice it - it conveys a confidence that most people's normal voices do not. You could also stand in front of a mirror and work on your facial expressions.

Part 1 is a little more complicated and probably something that people will frown upon me for saying but... in this world you gotta be a little manipulative sometimes, you've got to assess situations and respond accordingly, you've got to word things certain ways.

I'm a very small, quiet person with an accent that immediately halves my IQ to everyone who hears it, it is near enough impossible for me to convey an air of superiority and maturity, but it's easy for me to play dumb and sweet. I can't get the psychiatrist to shut up by being somebody who sounds like I know what I'm talking about, if I get annoyed or snap it won't look like anger (I'm too quiet and I physically do not possess angry face muscles, I hate it), but if I go quiet and stare sadly at the floor then people notice and ask what's wrong. I can't get somebody to inherently assume that when I name a disorder I know what I'm talking about, but I can pretend that I've never heard of it or heard it in passing, and lead them into suggesting it.

I'm an extreme case in this regard and it's usually not a good idea to hide your real emotions and act when you're in a scenario where somebody is literally monitoring your body language for signals... there are definitely hardcore disadvantages and risks to that, and I am most certainly not recommending misleading your doctor, in fact I'm actively advising against doing that (I'm just saying that I do that sometimes, because I'm a dick and because my voice trying to yell "Shut the fuck up!" when I feel that angry usually only earns an "It doesn't even sound like swearing when you do it, that's adorable." because I'm fucking cursed).

What I am saying though is that I can't tell you exactly how to act (in fact, I'd be encouraging you to do something that I literally just said is bad if I did tell you how to act), I can't tell you exactly what words to say, where to put your hands, etc. The tip here is that you've got to be able to improvise, to assess the situation, to adapt, to know what you are and are not capable of and work within that, to see when a path is either going nowhere or going off topic and figure out how to direct it back, you've got to know how to talk to that specific person (professionals are just people, at the end of the day, and every person is different in how they speak and how they like being spoken to - some respond best to you casually bringing stuff up, some respond to structure, some click with you, some really don't).

Eighthly and most importantly, don't let any of this get you nervous. This advice is almost a "How to survive some of the shittiest doctors I had" sort of thing. The most likely outcome is that they're going to listen intently to what you have to say, trust you, respect you, ask the appropriate questions, and help you make sense of what's going on.

I have no doubt that you can do this and that you will absolutely rock it - you don't need that confidence in yourself, but reminding yourself that it's going to go well, that you're badass, that the professional is there to help you, and that they'll want this information as much as you want them to have it, that stuff will help. Believe in the heart of the cards, or the power of friendship, or your Pokémon, or something.

So, to put all this into something vaguely actionable (although I can't really give you much specific advice because I don't know what's going on in your head, so this is just like... idk vague template example thingy), the foundation of what you want your doctor to know is "I have the symptoms of hypomania, I want you to seriously consider the possibility that this is bipolar and not just depression."

In your symptom diary, keep track of the symptoms of hypomania - irritability, sleeplessness, recklessness, elation, etc - note down when they show up, how bad they are, how they impact you, your food and fluid and alcohol intake, the times of day when certain things happened, how well and long you slept, etc, but also jot down the depressive episodes and other potential symptoms, in case you need to answer questions in regards to those.

Next, write down the key points that you want to bring up on a separate note: how often did the symptoms generally show up? for how long? which are the most damaging? what is the worst thing that happened as a result?

Now you're in the appointment with your note and diary, you've told the doctor "You know I have some communication issues so I really need you to let me say what I've prepared, because I feel like the fact that the things I'm about to discuss aren't being addressed is really inhibiting my therapy." The doctor has agreed to let you speak and you've got your notes in front of you, and you say (a more applicable to you equivalent of) "I started a symptom diary a little while ago, I've brought it with me - I made note of symptoms, food intake, medication, sleep, and so on. I noticed that I was getting exceptionally irritable and hyperactive, especially during periods of a few days when I wasn't exhibiting as many of the depression symptoms, and I've ruled out sleep, food, and other factors as causes. On the fourth of last month, I got so restless that I couldn't sit down and I actually gave myself blisters pacing back and forth for six hours - while during the depressive episodes I can barely even manage to walk to the bathroom let alone pace. I came across an article online while looking up ways to ease the irritability, and I found that a few people described things incredibly similar to what I was going through, and they used the term 'hypomania'. I was hoping that we could talk through the symptoms that I've documented, and you could help me get my head around what's going on and how to treat it."

Then the doctor asks her questions, you answer as honestly and fully as you can, and try to cite evidence from your symptom diary.

If you can't manage to say the words that you need to say to start off such a conversation, then instead of just writing notes you could fully write out what it is that you want to say, and ask them to read it - explaining that you feel especially anxious about your ability to vocally express this, but it needs to be addressed because it's negatively impacting your therapy and your state of life.

Or, as I suggested at the beginning, have somebody else come along as an advocate.

That's just my advice stemming from my own experience... for some people, this advice might be unhelpful. As I mentioned earlier, you need to assess your situation, assess what you are and are not capable of, assess how your doctor usually responds to you, what they respond well to and what they respond poorly to, and so on - everybody's situation is different, so there isn't a list of "This is exactly what to say and do to get a doctor to listen to you" (as much as the crowd of people who adore convincing doctors that they have the next fad would love for there to be something like that). Ultimately, like any conversation, it's about what works best for the two individuals involved in that specific conversation.

Since I've broached this less from a general self-advocacy stand point (heck, I may even have pissed off self-advocacy people because a lot of this was "tips on how to stop shitty doctors being shitty" rather than all of the stuff about keeping records and knowing your rights and so forth) and more from a "personalized tips pulled from Vape's ceramic jar of ways to avoid my shitty mistakes", I'm now going to give you a handful of links to some more professional self-advocacy sites, and I recommend that you do proper research on the topic for a few hours on google. As flattered as I am that you came to me, and as hopeful as I am that my advice helps in some way, me waffling about the ways I avoid getting screwed over again isn't professional advice - I'm very aware, as someone who's worked in a youth group, that I am not the fountain of all knowledge and that it is my job to pass you on to those more capable and to ensure that you know that my word isn't law.

So check out some of these and do more specific research and googling when you have the time (these aren't all about self-advocacy in medical care, some are about self-advocacy in other areas or advocacy in general, but I hope the advice may still be useful):

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/advocacy/#.WlaI26CnzqA

http://www.familyaware.org/how-to-model-mentalhealth-selfadvocacy/

http://www.cooltanarts.org.uk/what-we-offer/self-advocacy/

https://www.voiceability.org/support-for-you/self-advocacy/

http://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?item=39797

https://www.ncld.org/archives/action-center/what-we-ve-done/self-advocacy-5-tips-from-a-student

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9767596

https://www.includenyc.org/resources/video-detail/10-self-advocacy-tips-for-young-people-with-disabilities

https://www.kidney.org/content/5-tips-self-advocacy

Also, full disclosure, I haven't thoroughly read all of these and I'm low on sleep and running on way more caffeine than I should really have had... I'm probably not in the best state to be imparting important information right now, but I really hope that somewhere in this jumble I said something that was useful. (I also love how the quality just gradually declines after I start craving a cigarette at the midway point... I'm so sorry.)

EDIT: PS I'm sorry that I got pronouns and job titles and stuff jumbled up all through this, uhh, my brain is running on super fast mode right now so it's not really accessing all of the important files or deeper processing. I'm sorry, again.

Alternatively, if your therapist is super great and trusts you "I think I've been experiencing hypomania, and I think this may be bipolar and not just depression" will work fine... but the symptom diary, that is a good tip for anybody and everybody, regardless.

~ Vape

[the-mr-rightttt]

State of the Nation

Washington D.C., the Capitol of our nation.  A resplendent city of wide boulevards, charming neighborhoods, and the great structures that house our cherished institutions and commemorate our heroes.  Regardless of administration, it is a city that is adept to the politicking.  A lively city where it is business as usual, and life goes on, heedless to the connotation that the city holds to our national malaise.  On a macro level, life goes on as well.  We still celebrate, the indicators allude to a robust economy, and we continue to cheer on our favorite teams.  But, the state of the nation is not well.

At the time of this writing, we are one week away from the 2018 Midterm Elections.  The cable news pundits paint it as one of the most important in generations.  It has not even been two full years since the last transition of power, but we have fallen so far in that time.  Annals could be written on the scandals and controversies that we have witnessed.  It has come to the point where outrage fatigue is setting in.  It all is no less infuriating – but we are just tired.  Our nation is being led by an immoral individual whose name can be preceded by a litany of adjectives that should never be associated with the highest office of this land.  Constantly, he just lies, and doesn’t care.   He cultivates and encourages fear, hate, and ignorance.  We are essentially not being governed.

From the summer of 2016 until roughly a week shy of the January inauguration, I lived abroad.  I participated in the election cycle of that year and closely followed it all from Holland.  I remember remaining up past 2:00 AM local time as the early results began to come in, watching the coverage from TV at the time – a basic tablet that remained in its own dedicated stand and paired to a portable Bluetooth speaker. When I woke to see the results a few hours later, I was in disbelief; and had a true feeling of disillusionment as I thought to myself, what just happened back home?  The weather that day was the typical chilly, gloomy, and overcast; which perfectly matched my mood.  I wore all black that day.  In a sense, I was mourning for my country.  

Immediately, like many others, I thought that this in some way would be rectified.  Or, at least, not as bad as we thought.  Technically the Electoral College hadn’t certified this yet, when that occurred a few weeks later, they would act accordingly and in-line with their whole reason for existence, right?  Well, maybe he would change since the election was over and finally act presidential?  Then, remember Civics class, we have checks and balances, the Congress would check him and carry out their duties?  A majority of that legislative body surely would not become complaisant and put party (or political victory) ahead of country?  Also, there is the 25th Amendment, and also that Special Counsel investigation too?  

No.  

So far, none of these expected fail-safes have been successful in halting this disheartening downward spiral of a ride that we are experiencing.  For that reason, I agree with the pundits and their assessment on the importance of this particular election.  We must vote.

I have encountered so many people who have never steeped foot in America.  For some, I can recall the excitement in their eyes as they asked me what was it like here and was it like the movies.  Many would go on and tell me their bucket list of places that they wanted to visit.  We have fallen so far.  Not very long ago, we partnered with allies as leaders on the quest to tackle issues such as climate change, halting nuclear proliferation, and denouncing authoritarianism, while promoting the democratic ideals enshrined in our Constitution. Serious efforts were made internally to reform the health care system, improve infrastructure, and prepare for a more environmentally friendly and sustainable future.  Today, science and critical thinking is no longer in vogue. We (by extension) also have become the laughingstock of the world – literally, fodder for a room full of diplomats and world leaders assembled at the UN.  Make no mistake, from inception this nation has not lived up to its own fundamentals. Woven within the fabric of our story is a number of dark chapters and misdeeds.  However, we continued to strive and make progress towards becoming that perfect union as envisioned by the Founding Fathers.  That is evident in the fact that we had two terms in which we had a family comprised of our first black President, and a First Lady descended from slaves – living in an executive mansion built by slaves.  It is also evident in the recognition bestowed upon a leader of the civil rights movement, who now has a monument on the National Mall and amongst presidents who themselves owned slaves.  

What I fear the most, is the long term impact of the times that we live in.  The office and title of ‘president’ has been debased.   Attempts have been made to delegitimize the media and institutions; truth is no longer a lauded virtue, and hate has metastasized. That last point is very troubling. On the faces of many members of the ‘base’ who attend the incessant rallies – you see so much rage and anger. That coupled with a culture awash in dangerous weapons and easily duped into irrational conspiratorial beliefs is what makes this notion so frightening.  However, I am the consummate optimist.  I believe that eventually this will all past; it will be a blip on the radar of our history – but hopefully an important lesson on the fragility of democracy itself.  We will resume our march towards progress.  Washington will welcome new administrations.  

[fleurdelissaswords-blog]

ANNOUNCING GAMMA ZETA LIE SORORITY'S 4th ANNUAL PRE-PLL 7B RECRUITMENT DRIVE!!! WANNA BE A MEMBER OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS GROUP IN THE FANDOM? Here's how we do & all of the official rulesies & stuff, cuz twitter doesn't gimme enough creative license to explain it all over there where we do most our recruiting. If you're reading this, it's likely because I needed a place to explain to potential new recruits who we are and what we do, since twitter character counts suck for this kind of thang. If you were sent a link to here, it is because we might think you have what to takes to be one of us, & don't have enough room on twitter to explain to you why you are being tapped for our lil secret society. At GZL We Are: The Best of the Best Theorists in the Fandom! It's a huge honor to get asked... in fact it's the only way one can join a secret society, so that's how we do. THIS YEAR WE DOING THINGS A BIT DIFFERENTLY & 💌 WHAT AN INVITE MEANS IF YOU SEE ONE IN YOUR INBOX ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA!!! 💌 In years past, we did a strict "Invite Only" recruitment drive based on seeing amazing theories and skill sets we needed for our detective work Solving -A as a team in GZL, and publishing our findings before the finale airs. To date: we have a perfect solve record! So we began to take on new shows during the booooring hiatus season, to keep our skills sharp and all. During PLL season we all come together and buckle down to kick some ass in the fandom theories. And we are very good at what we do! We know a lot of you fans out there are too! So this year we are sending out our #GZL tapping scouts to tap whomever we come across in fandom posts and theories and blogs whom we think are good potential recruits based on a not-as-strict method, which means YOU just might get in this year! Might as well go out with a bang and share the amazing GZL experience with as many worthy fans as we can find. But our actual application process will be a bit easier just to give more fans the chance to join in PLL's last season. Why not open the doors?! Ok, we will do it "Secret Society Light" style. Meaning, we still wanna see your excellent posts with theories and ideas and good questions to mar and all that good stuff. But maybe your question to Mar will get you and invite! We still wanna see those good thoughts and theories on #Twitter, #Tumblr, #FB, #Youtube, etc. In the past we recruited strictly from Twitter. This year you just may see us... EVERYWHERE!!! 👀💋 IF YOU WANT US TO SEE YOUR THEORY OR POST: Tag me at @SoliSacrdotibus + #GZL on twitter or here on tumblr with #GZL, so we can find your posts, and we will be sending out our cryptic lil invite links in people's inboxes on whatever social media we find you on! 😜✊🏽 So make sure to also follow me here and on Twitter so I can dm/pm invites! We want fresh blood this season. It's our last as a strictly PLL theory co-op group. We will likely continue by doing other shows in the future since we have this whole thang now, & people know who we are. And Yes, the #PLLBlacklist, where theory thieves get named so the fandom knows to avoid them, & other PLL party foulers as well WILL BE RETURNING TO KEEP THINGS HONEST IN THE FANDOM! (Know someone who stole your theory? Copyright infringements on your fanfic someone else used? A bully in the fandom harassing other fans? (Cuz let's face it: GZL is the ONLY group entitled to do that! So keep your fanitude at the door lest we see it!) Dm/PM me their handle privately and we can Investigate and list them/l. Secret societies are required to do a philanthropy project (charity) Each year, so it's our little gift to the fandom which has given us so many talented creative people over the years. To date: we have recruited lawyers, detectives, graphic designers (like the one pictured here, one of our coveted award templates), TV show hosts, code experts, foreign language speakers, psychology experts, all sorts of people from all walks of life around the world, with skills that help when Solving for -A as a group (& no egos allowed!) The project was envisioned by myself and a good friend in the fandom who decided if one fan could not solve it alone completely, a group might do better. We were all very good at this by s3-4 on our own, and we all had seen amazing theories out there. So we began secretly recruiting these people. We kept this secret for a while. We all became good friends over the years. I am truly blessed to have such an amazing team. Chances are one of your PLL fandom buddies could secretly be a member and you might not even know it. Lol. We liked it that way. But times change and so do we. Hey, even the monarchy had to modernize! 👸 To date we have a few Theory & Contest Winners as well as a few other honors, and have had correct theories for the last several seasons in a perfect record. We leave our own theories at the door to work as a team and it's fun. So it's not a place to share personal blog links for self promotion (unless you are agreeing to allow #GZL to use parts of it and credit you accordingly, when GzL goes to publish the Master Theory we come up with). We work hard and we play hard. It was always hard to get in cuz we were the best of the best... if you even knew about us in the early days. 😉 Next thing we knew, despite stating our group was "Invite Only & Merit Based," #PLL fans were banging our door down. We also pride ourselves on being able to "Keep A Secret" 💋 and our rules state once you are allowed in, you cannot share posts from within the group, outside elsewhere. You basically take a vow of secrecy on what we do within the group. Any theories we are working on, we've put a lot of effort in all season as a team and cannot risk that being ruined cuz of a few blabbermouths. So we look for maturity, good detective skills, good memories, and being able to get along, cuz we are all fellow sisters/brothers in this society. So we don't share member's private business outside the group either or tip the fandom off if we happen to have any leads. Make sense? This is NOT a group for basic #fangirling about your cast crush... although we do have some specialized awards for hard workers, including our much beloved: Naked Toby, Nekkid Jason, & Hot Ezra awards to reward members. We need people who speak foreign languages, are good with timelines, good with techy skills (understands the technology -A uses on the show, like how to hack, & stuff like Mona does). We also need people good with numbers for our code breakers team, people good with literary references, getting all the right screenshots, compiling and posting mar's clues, keeping tabs on the many evergrowing "-A" clue handles, people who write articles or recaps on the show and have good minds for remembering the tiniest details, etc. Everyone has a skill that can be of use to our group project Solving Uber -A for 7b BEFORE the finale airs! Are YOU up for the challenge? Of course we don't allow any swearing, bullying, personal attacks, blabbermouths, and people just out to join groups to promote their own blog... trust me if you're an asset to our group project, the members will know your private blogs you have for your own stuff as well, cuz we all become pretty good friends. We don't allow off-topic posts during PLL season about other shows and stuff. We have an amazing team of Admins, & myself: The Housemother... yes I can be as strict as The Grunwald, but don't let that scare you. I reward hard work as well! I've even helped get dream jobs for members, cuz in a secret society people tend to help each other out. As we begin our #PLL 7b GZL Recruitment for 2017, we will be keeping an eye out for fans out there with potential to invite to join. And whereas in past seasons we've maybe only let a few new members in, this season I want to add as many awesome fans as we find worthy!... And so many of you are! We see your amazing theories and edits. We see your questions to Mar. Like a good secret society: WE ARE ALWAYS WATCHING!!! 👀 If you've been lead here by a link or someone tagging your post with #GZL, or this link explaining who we are and what we do, now you know. It's a big honor to be invited and we don't usually open the doors this wide. So this is YOUR season to get into #GZL if you've always wanted, or wondered what we're about or how we always get things right and come out on top at the end of every season. This is a basic outline of our rules and expectations as well. If you can adhere to it (& the real list of rules in our group description) we'd be happy to have to your superfan brainpower on our team... then you can get credit in our Master Theories (We really should Call them "Master Solves" cuz a theory is only a theory till it's proven correct! Then it's the -Answer. 😉 If you like what you see here, cuz you found this link in your inbox cryptically like we do, the next step is the official Invite link! 😘💌 Cuz we totally plan to keep this thang going after #PLL ends... we took a vote and decided to continue on doing other new shows. And you can get in on our last season of PLL and ground floor of whatever we go on to do next! We won't likely open the doors like this again. It's just not good business for a secret society. They're supposed to have all these standards and secrets and stuff. Lol. But why not in the last season of PLL do something cool like let more people join and participate in what will be a life changing experience for fans. *And Current Members: feel free to add anything I missed here below in the comments. I did this quickly to have something up. And don't judge my typos... it's late. Lol. And stay tuned on this blog for other #GZL & #PLL related posts. This is where it will all happen... where we solve dis shiz! And check out my other cool series in my archive: Tupeck the Rapping Parrot's ThugLife Bible Study. Home Brewing Tips & Recipes Movie & TV Recaps that Will Leave You Laughing ... and much more! Note: Our own AMAZING resident Graphic Designer #GZL (Gamma Zeta Lie sorority, the best of the best theorists in the #PLL fandom, where we secretly meet to discuss ideas and such) made this awesome GZL logo, and award template for members who win this coveted status. I ❤ U & Your Amazing GraphicSkillzies Becks! 😘 Keep Up The Good Work! She gets full credit for this design. Find her on Twitter here: @becky411. Some other members on the twitter fandom to follow: @kellie_tv @kkthanks @charlesgame @SimplyMeSCC @emma_eden @thepllfanxx @moviesandtv23 @floptina @BamitzTylerr @madboss889 @notxme @thesnootyllama Sisters/brothers are forever! 😘❤ AT GZL WE GO BIG OR GO HOME! So come join us. But be prepared to pitch in however we can use you. We always have lots of stuff to do! And that's how awards are won... and careers are made. I took the liberty to tag a few of our fav PLL blogs we've had our eyes on or think hold promise. Maybe we will choose a few of you! 😉 Reblog this post to help us get the word out about our new #GZL recruitment for 7b for a second look at your blog and invites... @hollymariecombs @ellamontgomeryx-blog @marleneking-blog @marlenekingisa @imarleneking-blog @imarlene-fuckshitup-king @imarlenegatsby @imarlene008-blog @shaymitchdailyy @shaymitchellbeauty @shaymitchellteam @emisonisforever @emisonislifeok @emison-sashay-endgame @endgamezria @sashapietersedaily @sashapieterses @prettylittletheoriesandspoilers @prettylittleinvestigators @monavanderslayy @monavanderwaal @monavanderjesus @lucyhale @lucyhalefansite @lucyhaleheaders @lucyhale-daily @ashleybenson-style @ashleybenson-peru @ashleybensonfashionstyle @pretty-little-liars-hints @prettylittleliarsquestions @prettylittleliarsxxxx