#usually I'll say i like an artist if i listen to at least three of their songs. a fan if i enjoy an entire album.

[paperclipfanatic]

So happy to announce that I am officially a Chappell Roan fan.

Not that I need a license for that or whatever but damn... Her music is GOOD!

[gfcheol]

late blooming pt2 | j.wonwoo

pairing: wonwoo x f!reader

genre: slowburn, sugar baby!au, smut

word count: 5k

tags: emotionally constipated trustfund kid!wonwoo, snarky roommate!jeonghan, food ment, insecure artist!reader, fingering, making out, jealous!wonwoo, miscommunication, angsty ending

tag list: @bangchanbabygirlx , @amiga-qmilagraso , @listxn , @bloomyroses , @yoozuku, @revluv909 , @laylasbunbunny , @thinkinboutwonu , @springdaybreaks , @97-liners , @weakforsvt

In those two weeks, since you'd agreed to let Mr Jeon Wonwoo financially take care of you, you'd learned three things about him.

One - He'd gushed about every cat picture or meme you'd sent to him, commenting on the pretty fur or the shape of their triangle ears. During one phone call, you even got him to meow for you. You'd laughed almost a solid minute at the sound of his dark voice, clearly enunciating a very lifelike "meow". If only you had thought of recording it.

Two - He loved to read. You weren't really sure about which books were to his liking but everytime you'd mentioned an author you'd liked, he'd tell you he was either familiar with their work or had read their work as well. It was difficult, to say the least, not to feel intimidated by his intellect, though you didn't mind as much once you'd realized that, even though he already knew so many literary works, he still listened quite intently to your opinions on them.

And three - He asked a lot of questions.

It was almost embarrassing, in hindsight. How much you were willing to tell him, about your upbringing, weird food habits you'd developed as a child, about the time Mingyu and you got food poisoning from your favourite fast food place, back in college. It felt easy to confide in him. Your own personal confession booth. Wonwoo was a good listener and despite leaving snarky comments here and there - there was understanding laced in his every word, making it hard not to fall deeper into conversation with him. Maybe, just maybe, it had helped that all of these talks happened, while you were on the phone with him, either on your way from work or tucked in bed.

"It's probably bad timing", he had sighed, "but I'll have to leave the country for a week. It's purely out of formality, although necessary. Or so I've been told, at least."

His explanation had seemed sincere enough, a tired smile playing on the edge of his lips, yet you couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment from you. Selfish desires be damned, you actually hoped to spend time with the man who'd provide you with money for whatever reason. It still felt somewhat strange to you, no matter how rational he had been while explaining his intentions with you, the skeptic in you was hard to please.

You'd only shaken your head in response, your "No, it's fine! I hope you'll still manage to have fun", sounded insincere even to your own ears, though Wonwoo had enough courtesy not to mention it.

You hadn't quite expected him to still try to stay in touch, thinking his hectic schedule would suffice in keep him busy. But apparently, Wonwoo had a tendency to defy your expectations about him. His first text had comee as a surprise to you, your eyes almost bulging out of their socksts, as you sat slumped and exhausted in the driver's seat of your car. Work had been the usual hell, customers and colleagues robbing you of every nerve you had left until they left you a complete shell of yourself - Not like you hadn't been used to it.

[Wonwoo J - 17:55] Are you as bored as me?

You had blinked several times, mind feeling a bit too numb, attempting to remember that, yes, this was indeed The Jeon Wonwoo, billionaire, business man, and art snob, texting you oh so casually.

[y/n - 17:56] more like tired rip just got done working

[Wonwoo J - 17:57] Oh? Hope I didn't interrupt anything

[y/n - 18:00] literally sitting in my car rn lmao

[y/n - 18:01] gimme 15 and then i'm free to chat

You remembered rushing home, quick to brush Jeonghan's half hearted greeting off, ready to lock yourself in your bedroom and panic an appropriate amount before calling him back. Though in the end, all panic had ebbed away the second his tired voice muttered your name in greeting, at the other end of the line. And despite your worries, it'd felt so natural to share your day with him - His faint laugh, whenever you'd complain, proving to be your very own remedy against bad moods.

Maybe he'd merely been polite this whole time, your insecurities were quick to point out. A cynical viewpoint for sure, but not unrealistic. Not impossible.

It'd be so easy to drop all caution, to ignore every bad experience and disregard every hurtful comment ever thrown your way by previous romantic partners. It'd be so easy to trust the silly old fashion emojis he sent your way, or the way his laughter grew louder everytime you gasped out in mock offense to any of his jabs. It'd be so easy to let your heart ache at every whispered goodnight you'd mumbled into the speaker of your phone. But easy was naive. You weren't a teenager anymore, you knew better or were supposed to at least.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Hmm, Episode IV. Easy question. Obi Wan might be hot but he doesn't beat childhood nostalgia. Next question."

"Obi Wan hot? Questionable. Hey, how come you're not tired yet? I thought you said that your shift was draining 'as fuck'."

"Why do you have to remember everything I tell you, oh my godddd. You know what, I change my mind, guys who only pretend to listen get a bad rep."

"You just don't want me to point out that you should stop rambling about Star Wars and catch some sleep."

"Not my fault that we're not in the same timezone right now, Mister. C'mon, ask me another question."

"Fine... Have you always been this difficult or do I get special treatment from you?"

"... Wonwoo, I hope you know how lucky you are that you're not within fighting distance."

"Aw, I was hoping you'd get so huffy, you'd hang up and finally rest."

"You're mean."

"And yet you're still insisting on talking to me."

"AND a smug bastard."

"Goodnight, y/n. I'm... looking forward to talking to you tomorrow. I'm uh- enjoying our talks."

"Oh. Y- yeah, same. I mean- goodnight to you too."

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Jeonghan's form was draped across the couch, arm covering his eyes to shield him from the intrusive rays of sunshine that dared to tickle his oh so sensitive face. The apartment lay in comfortable silence, a rare occurrence these days but not unwelcome. You aimlessly scrolled through your phone, enjoying the luxury of being lazy on one of your rare off days.

Usually, it wouldn't be you who'd have to suffer because of Hannie's tendency to take up too much space. It'd become quite normal to see his current conquence and him lounging on the couch, limbs, as well as lips, entangled in a disgustingly open display of love. You'd roll your eyes, questioning yourself, if you'd ever been as bad as him, while you were with any of your exes. You shuddered at the mere thought of them. The past was the past for a reason, wasn't it? You should know this by now.

"Wanna watch a movie today?", you asked absentmindedly, eyes still glued to the colorful pictures of your screen - Pinterest truly was a rabbit hole to get lost in.

Your roommate barely reared his head. "Only if i get to pick. Sick of watching Pride and Prejudice over and over with you."

A groan. "Fine... No movie then." Giggles erupted out of you when you felt Jeonghan's foot digging into your side.

"Is your sugar daddy not gonna call you today?" You felt the heat in your face rise at the teasing edge of his voice. "Or are nudes enough to get him to shut up?"

Your head perked up, your tone quiet "Nudes?"

"As in 'sexy pictures to help him beat his meat on his sexy man business trip'?", Jeonghan raised his arm to glance you up and down.

For some reason, it had never even crossed your mind that this very adult man with adult needs would desire - well - adult pictures from you. You were simply too enthralled by the sweet words thrown your way, that the skeptic within your mind forgot to remind you that this was not, in fact, a normal relationship. Money and talent and contracts were involved in this. And while a large part of why Wonwoo felt drawn to you, must have been your potential as an artist, there was very likely sexual interest as well. Embarrassment simmered in the depths of your stomach, groaning into the air. "Oh fuck."

"Wow, you've never even sent him a sexy selfie or something?"

"Well, it never really came up in conversations!", you squeaked, voice too nervous, too shrill to sound rational.

He pushed himself off his cozy, little spot on the edge of the sofa, a grin now evident on his features. "You guys don't flirt?"

"You know what?", you narrowed your eyes at him, shoving his leg away from your side. "Single you fucking sucks! At least your girlfriends all liked it when you were being an absolute dick to them. Now you just kinda- inflict it all upon me. I can't help it that you're bored without a girlfriend!"

The dig didn't seem to affect him much, the sheer Schadenfreude he felt was enough to brush off your insult. How in the living hell did he always have the upper hand in every argument you guys had? Your leading theories were either A) he had enough practice in torturing his little sister and was happy enough to treat you the same way or B) he was one of Lucifer's very own lackeys. Your money was on theory B. One of these days, you'd find the portray he'd sold his soul for in order to stay young and live out his hedonistic lifestyle - Oscar Wilde style.

"I'm sure I'd be way less bored, if we could watch a different movie that doesn't star Keira Knightley's angry pout", Jeonghan huffed, raising his brow - and while you knew, this was a mere attempt to get a rise out of you, you couldn't help but gasp in offense.

"How dare you? She's a delight in-", your phone vibrated in your lap, attention shifting immediately to the notification you'd received. Your anger was put on halt as you noticed, it was indeed Wonwoo, who had texted you, offense melting away in an instance. "A sec", you mumbled.

"Oh, he's got you whipped!", he laughed.

Pressing on the notification, you gave him one last exasperated look, lips pressed into a pout, "Hannie, please."

[Wonwoo J - 14:12] Flying back today. Care to have dinner at my place tomorrow?

"Oh." Your heart felt like a young bird, threatening to escape the cage that was your ribcage, beating so loud, you barely reigstered your own reply. You'd met him before - more than once, even! - why were you so fucking nervous? Was this normal? Oh god. "H- he invited me to his place tomorrow."

"Oh fun, spicy second date then?"

"What?! Oh my god, he wants to fuck me?! I- I haven't even shaved in like a month!" You shot up onto your knees, fingers still firmly grasping your phone as you stared down at your roommate with panic in your eyes. "He wants to fuck me, right? This is what this means! Right? Right?!"

"Holy shit, calm down." The way his tone remained basically unbothered, only added fuel to the whirlwind of thoughts coursing through your brain, a string of whines slipping past your lips.

"What if he wants to fuck?"

"Then he wants to fuck", he shrugged, nonchalant smirk slowly creeping back onto his face. No matter how annoying Hannie could be, his quiet confidence worked wonders on you in times of stress. "You don't have to do anything, geez. If you also wanna smash your bits together, then wear something sexy or something. Didn't your ex get you the tacky lace set for your birthday? If you don't - then don't? He didn't buy you, y/n, you can say 'no', I'm pretty sure he'll live."

This gave you pause. He had a point, a pretty good one even. Nothing explicit had been stated so far, as to what Wonwoo expected from you in your arrangement. There was... an undeniable interest he had you, that much seemed obvious to you - yet the details were fuzzy to you. What was it that had piqued his interest in you? Sure, there was you talent for are - which you'd have to discuss with him again tomorrow evening - but what else was there? A teeny, tiny part of you screamed and begged for it to be romantic interest - though the more rational part within you wasn't quite so sure. He's a man who could have anything and anyone. So why would he require someone like you in his life, if not, for some strange power fantasy that you probably would never really understand.

You let yourself fall back to your previous position, brows still furrowed as you pinched the bridge of your nose in a feeble attempt to calm your approaching headache. The question still stood - Would you want to fuck Wonwoo? All insecurities and feelings of pressure aside, did you want him? He was attractive, that's for sure. There was something special in the way he presented himself, you felt, a bit awkward, a bit stiff, yet still elegant. You liked the way he texted like a man 20 years his senior, liked that he sent you passages of books he'd read, liked his deep laugh. You swallowed.

"Why the fuck do you still remember the lace set Jonah got me?", you grinned, wrinkling your nose at the memory of your ex.

"Because, for some reason, he thought it was necessary to ask me for my opinion. Such a charmer."

You smacked his arm. "And then you guys got me the tacky one? Tsk, you call yourself my friend."

Jeonghan's smirk only deepened. "You mean, you call me your friend. I just kinda let you." Another smack, this time a tad less gentle than the previous one. "Ow- Alright, alright! Put that energy into your hookup."

Moreso a question than a statement, your gaze shifted back to the display of your phone, thumbs hovering over your keyboard. "Shush you", you snickered. "I gotta respond before he thinks I'm blowing him off."

[y/n - 14:27] sounds good xx pick me up from my place?

Wonwoo's reply came in a matter of seconds.

[Wonwoo J - 14:28] Send me your address

[Wonwoo J - 14:28] I'll send my driver to pick you up.

[y/n - 14:30] will do!! have a safe flight!!!

It should be illegal to feel this giddy about dinner plans. Illegal enough for you to be locked up, so you could calmly succumb to your feelings of yearning for a man so incredibly out if your league, it almost hurt. A sigh on your end, "He'll be so disappointed to hear I haven't done any painting while he was gone."

"Eh", Jeonghan chuckled. "I'm sure that won't be the first thing on his mind once he sees you."

♡♡♡♡♡♡

John Everett Millais, you read, tuning out the distinct chatter of your parents' conversing with your father's work colleague. Your seven year old self had been enthralled by the dark hues on the painting you'd noticed above their dinner table. A woman floating in water, hair a soft shade of red, mouth agape, surrounded by water and flowers - you could feel something profound stir inside your gears then. The unknown evoked emotion you had no inkling of yet, though it felt, as if she could pry them out of you just by her presence.

Why was she in the water? You'd wondered to yourself, your dessert that consisted of cheap strawberry ice cream, completey forgotten. And why was she still wearing her dress? Was she a rich lady? A princess maybe? A sad princess who wanted take a bath in a pond? But if she was a princess, then didn't she have a bathtub in her castle?

Maybe the painter, John Something, knew the answer to all the questions that were floating inside your brain, distracting you from the sweet taste on your tongue. Maybe there were secrets only painters knew when they looked upon a scene to capture. You frowned, thinking about your own pictures. While yours gained a lot of praise from your parents, comparing them to the glamour and sadness of Princess in front of you, let a strange sense of disappointment course through your veins.

And you quickly realized - You weren't one to settle for disappointment. There was a drive, inside that bundle of shame you were subjected to. A drive to do better, to improve, to create. A smile crept its way to your lips. Maybe your mother was right to bring you along to the boring business dinner after all.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

You almost jumped at the sound of your phone vibrating with a new notification, nerves already on edge.

[Wonwoo J - 18:02] Should arrive in ca 10 min. I'll see you later.

As soon as you'd received the text, you rushed to the bathroom mirror, reapplying your bold shade of lipstick for the millionth time that evening. Your reflection stared back at you with wide eyes. Would he notice the amount of effort you put into looking effortless?

The drive to Wonwoo's apartment was relatively quiet. His driver had parked directly in front of the entrance to your building, exactly ten minutes after you'd gotten the confirmation, a polite smile graced his lips. It felt a bit too spacious to sit all by yourself in the back, windows tinted black and driver completely silent, focused on the busy road ahead of you. Although, you'd most likely dislike it even more, if he had decided to start a conversation with you - You didn't quite mind, being alone with your thoughts. Fidgeting with the hem of your dress, you listened to the hum of the motor, attempting to drown out the sound of your rapid heartbeat. This would be your second maybe-something-akin-to-a-date... an almost-date. Or did the several phone calls count as something?

"Miss?"

You blinked a few times, turning your head towards the driver, fingers still clutching your dress. "Yes?"

There was a hint of a smile in his tone, as he raised his brows, meeting your eyes through the reer view mirror. "We're here."

"Oh", was your reply, only now realizing how the car had come to a halt, the hum of the engine gone. With heavy legs, you shuffled to open the door. "Thank you so much for picking me up."

He gave you a nod, smile lines appearing around the corners of his eyes. "No problem, Miss. Have a wonderful night."

The calmness of this stranger acted like an antidote to the anxiety poisoning your thoughts, offering a shy smile in return. The kindness stood in stark contrast to the playful harshness your best friend usually soothed you with, though nonetheless effective.

The building was huge, entry halls adorned with minimalistic art, you'd never even seen before. The simplicity of the design, you mused, was too pretentious to admire. The echo of your shoes hitting the marble floor, felt like an intrusion. The gall, the echo sneers at you in your mind, the nerve you must possess daring to trespass. Wealthiness evidently could not buy good taste.

After a dreadfully long elevator ride (and a very awkward coversation with the concierge), you finally find yourself right amidst Wonwoo's four walls. If you could call it that. You weren't quite sure what you'd expected to find - A coffin and a chandelier? White walls and a furniture made of glass? Though reality was far more grounded than one could expect. A row of paintings adorned his walls - some of them modern, some of them clsssics - soft music was coming from, what you presumed to be, his kitchen. It almost seemed... ordinary. You frowned.

"Y/N?", you heard his voice from somewhere out of sight. "Yeah, hi! It's me! The uh- concierge? Let me up, I hope that's okay."

His reply was instant. "Why wouldn't it be? I told him I'm expecting a lady." Your frown melted into a smile at his words. "Come to the kitchen, will you? Dinner's almost done."

Rounding the corner, your ran your fingers through your hair as one last effort to tidy yourself up more. Any confidence you'd tried to muster up prior, faltered at the sight of him. Gone was the usual business suit, traded for a nice black shirt and jeans. You were painfully aware of your contrasting attire, the urge to curse yourself feeling unbearable. His back was facing you, unscrewing a way to expensive looking bottle of wine.

"Hi", you greeted again.

His eyes immediately lit up as he turned to face you, a smile hanging off his lips. "You- Oh, wow." his brows shot up, his long fingers adjusting the frame of his glasses, as if he to check the validity of the image in front of him. "You look-"

"I'm sorry if this is too much? I don't know why I thought, you'd meant like a proper dinner, that's on me", the longer you spoke, the heavier your chest, your brain begging you to shut up already.

Wonwoo merely shook his head, softly laughing. "Well, I'm not complaining, don't worry-"

"Also so sorry I interrupted you, I didn't mean to." A pause followed.

"Hm", he cocked his head to the side, gaze searching your own. His frame, even in casual clothing was just as intimidating as you remembered. "Still so shy and nervous? I didn't expect that."

"I'm not shy-"

"But the evening's still young", he smiled at the appearance of your pout. "And I hope you like take out. I tried cooking one of Mingyu's recipes and it was... not as easy as expected."

Any snarky comment died right on your tongue at his tone. Taking one of the half full glasses located on his marble counter top, you quipped, "Harder than it looks to recreate artistry like that, right?"

He gazed down at you, taking a sip of wine himself. "And you're a great cook then, I assume?"

Without meaning to, your shoulder brushed against his arm, the proximity after all these evenings getting to know him making you dizzier than the alcohol. This is the same Wonwoo, you reminded yourself. The same cat loving, nerdy man you've been talking to all those days. "That's for you to find out next time."

For a blink of an eye you thought you saw his chest rise and shoulders stiffen, though his face remained the same mask of indifference you were used to. You considered this a triumph. "Well uh- I can't wait to find out."

Once dinner finally arrived, korean food made a restaurant you'd never heard of, you settled in his dining room with your second glass of wine of the evening. Deciding to ignore the gnawing question of just how expensive the bottle must have been. The food was way too well prepared to let bad thoughts ruin it either way. Conversation was just as easy as you remembered it. You'd gasp at any teasing remark and he gave affirming nods when you vented about work, art or your very impossible roommate. Though the latter conversation topic never seemed to earn you any smiles.

"And Layla was the...?", his face scrunched up as he tried to remember, leaning back in his chair. "Waitress? She seems sweet from what you've told me, what happened?"

You shook your head, giggling into your glass. "Exactly! What happened!", a sigh. "But he's great. Sometimes that is. When he's not lying to make me look stupid or convince me to do dumb stuff."

"Like what?", he asked, fingertip brushing alongside the glass. You really did hope he had yet to catch you staring at his hands.

You waved him off with a flick of your wrist, groaning at the memory of all of Jeonghan's previous shenanigans. "One time he gaslit me - and yes, it was gaslighting! - into making me do his laundry for a month! A month! I can't believe I fell for it too", you'd bury your face in your hand if you didn't have any makeup on. "He even convinced me to wear all this, can you believe him? Dress, lace set, hairdo-"

"Lace set?", Wonwoo repeated. Your smile dropped in an instant.

"What?"

"You said he made you wear a lace set." It wasn't a question, really. It was a statement the needed an answer. A response, an explanation, a confession. Every fiber of your being stood alert, ready to flee the scene and fling yourself off the balcony if needed.

Your eyes drifted to your empty plate, looking for an appropriate response in the remnants of your kimchi rice. "I did?"

"I'm afraid so." You weren't sure when Wonwoo had left his seat, his long legs looking too handsome as he sauntered closer to you. "Were you hoping on me seeing you in it tonight?", he asked, now only a few steps away from you.

A trap question. He knew your answer already, you were sure. It was the hidden sadistic nature in him that urged you out of your shell and into the humiliation of utter vulnerability. In a last act of defiance, you blinked up at where he stood, not paying heed to the beating of your heart. "Hannie told me to-"

"Since when are you doing what anyone tells you to?" The warmth of his fingers found your cheek. His touch felt electrifying. "If you don't want me to see, all you have to do is tell me. Use your words."

Your breath hitched in your throat. "I... hoped you would."

A smirk spread on his lips, bending down until he was on eye level with you. Licking his lips, his eyes drifted down to yours, an unspoken question lingering between you, before he rasped, "That's what I thought."

He had you on your back, dress long discarded between the couch and the dining room, as you lay there writhing in your underwear, his mouth pressing open mouthed kisses to you neck. The friction of your bra against the silky fabric of his shirt felt almost sinful as his hand reached for your chest, quiet whines slipping past your lips. Whatever you'd hoped for, you'd never have thought he'd actually want you like this. Maybe the alcohol had messed with your brain too much.

"You're so pretty like this", Wonwoo breathed, slipping your panties to the side before he ran his thumb over your clit. A sharp inhale escaped you, body jolting against him in surprise. He smiled into your skin. "Let me hear you."

It felt forbidden to see him still this in control, while you were somewhere between bliss and anxiety. He lay fully clothed on top of you, using his knees to spread your thighs apart for easier access, glasses foggy. You'd almost giggle at the sight. "Fuh- Oh", you gasped, a finger finally sliding into you, wetness coating his hand in the blink of an eye. "Wonwoo..."

A soft laugh. "Yeah?"

"More", you demanded, hips grinding into his steadily moving hand.

"More? Whatever could she mean?" He grinned at your frustrated huff, kissing the top of your lace covered breasts.

"You know!", you grumbled. Or whined. You weren't quite so sure anymore.

He complied to your demands, adding another, long finger, heel of his palm rubbing against your sensitive clit. Moan after moan tumbled from your parted lips, pressure rising in the pit of your stomach with every flick of his wrist. It'd been too long for you to properly relish this moment, pleasure almost too fleeting before even falling off the edge. An artist's curse to live in melancholy and nostalgia.

As your hip brushing against his crotch, he finally let a moan of his own slip, squeezing his eyes shut. The sight was almost too much to bear for you. He looked so handsome like this - cheeks flushed, slightly out of breath. You stared in awe. "Your pussy's so tight", he sighed.

"Won-" a gasp. And with a brush against your spongie spot inside you and the friction against your clit, you let go. Pleasure illuminating your whole body. Wonwoo could swear you shined as bright as any beacon at that moment.

He kissed your lips for the final time, soft and sweet, before he gathered you up in his arms, hugging your fucked out form closet to his chest. "What about you?", he heard you mumble, face buried in the crook of his neck. He only shook his head, reaching for a blanket to cover you with. "I'm tired."

You'd slept surprisingly well on his couch, the fabric of the cushions softer than most of the bedsheets you'd slept in. Though as you stretched out to find the man on your mind, you were met with an empty spot. Reluctantly, you opened your eyes, after sex exhaustion and alcohol making your lids feel especially heavy this morning. "Oh fuck", you cursed softly, images from last night flooding your mind. The memories of his lips on your skin, his kisses, his hands... It was way too early to think about all of this.

You rolled to your side, on the search for your phone, a creme colored envelope catching your eye immediately. Careful not to tear the paper, you squinted trying to make out Wonwoo's handwriting.

Last night was lovely. I transferred some money to your account - There's a new art dealer in town. Let's talk soon.

Money. Oh. Yeah, you remembered. This is what this was about, how could you forget? It's an arrangement first and foremost. Your fingers felt numb as you held the piece of paper in the too big, too expensive, too empty apartment of Jeon Wonwoo. Wealthy trustfund kid, CEO to be Jeon Wonwoo. How could you forget?

[ateez-himari]

LXST; RECORD TWO

[NEW UPLOAD FROM ATEEZ]

LISTEN TO 'TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN' NOW ON YOUTUBE (until 4:38)

Liked by m.by_sana and 1,203,389 others

ateez_official_ LXST; Record Two

#ATEEZ #애이티즈 #HIMARI #히마리

View all 890,839 comments

sleep_token So glad our fans brought this ethereal song to our attention 🙌🏻 If you're ever looking for someone to collaborate with we'd be more than willing

hynjinnnn i'm so grateful you trusted me to photograph you and bring your ideas to life, it was such an amazing experience 💛the song is so beautiful that i might be responsible for half of its steams right now, save me a seat at the next tour stop🙏

teezify these photo concepts just get more breath taking and the fact that the water is used to portray the emotions of the song...🤌✨️

youremystar an alternative rock/progressive metal song with HER voice, we really are winning guys 🤭 and the creative direction was all her so it really makes those pics more impressive, I can't even explain how I feel looking at them

himarry.me We as a society underestimate just how creative her mind is...she replaced the vowel by an x to make it a series with different themes 🤯Thank you for working so hard our maknae, but please remember to rest 💕

bluebrry she actually performed it at the Toronto concert...I got chills. not only was she acting but she was singing live the entire time, also Mingi as the toxic masked figure from the video?? this stage alone should get an award 🤩👏🏼

08 July 2024 • See Original

Industry Reactions

Mingi made sure his Instagram story was filled with praise for his girlfriend 'from the moment this song started playing in the studio I felt like I was diving into her heart. I'll never grow tired of hearing that angelic voice even in the depth of my dreams so if you won't stream the song, I will 😤Tiny, please show lots of love to my angel, she deserves it especially after the amount of work that went into this track alone. She fell asleep so often in her studio writing everything from lyrics to the music video directions that I had to make her sleep in mine most nights just so I could bring her home later'

J Hope made an unexpected post on Weverse 'I don't usually make song recommendations but I feel like people need to hear this one at least once in their life. We watched her grow up so I was able to see the amount of potential her production had and yet I never thought to hear something so out of the ordinary, she's really advanced to a new level'

American singer Halsey showed fondness for her friend's younger sister on X 'I've only gotten the chance to meet this sweet girl twice yet she's been stuck in my mind ever since and this song is proof of her impact. It goes beyond the restrictions of her industry, it draws your entire being inside the track almost as if under water. I can't properly explain this song so go stream it!'

Woozi surprised fans with news of their friendship on Weverse 'There have been many talented producers who worked with me in the past but Himari instantly stood out to me with the brilliance of her musical mind. We got to talking more as friends and she told me that she didn't take classes until their early debut days, she just watched people like Hongjoong and Yoongi hyung. When producers say that this girl is a genius we really mean it. Take Me Back To Eden is a mix of two different genres yet she makes them work so well together with just the use of her voice, that's a true artist, someone with a creative vision out of what people expect or are comfortable with'

(G)I-DLE leader and producer Soyeon expressed respect on an Instagram story 'Usually senior idols are the ones serving as role models for their juniors, but after hearing Take Me Back to Eden I have to admit that despite being three years older, I really do look up to Himari. What she has isn't just about natural talent, it's hard work, constant learning, harmony in a team, long hours...a lot of us producers admire her work ethic. Her creativity is absolutely mind blowing, she's without a doubt one of the pillars of this generation and I'm sure younger idols will talk about her for a very long time ❤️'

Netizen Reactions

@/bulleobulleooo on X 'That one scene with Apollo when it turns into a man hits so hard...because the sound was beautiful but the chords were cutting her fingers the entire time. Relationship wise that means he was whispering loving things in her ear while destroying her. Omg then the part where she's singing 'Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire' in tears while he's making her look up at him?? This MV is so meaningful'

@/ateenypresent on X 'this is definitely about being lost in someone's corruption 🤔 look at the details, she even has bruises around her eyes like she was burnt by the 'funeral pyre' she keeps talking about being drawn to'

@/himaswife on X 'Hear me out, I think this whole project is about the evolution of toxic love. The first track was about desire for another person, lust, or being drawn in by someone, this one hints to being so blinded by toxic love (of the person she was drawn to) that she loses herself to the point of wanting to go back to previous innocence yet not being able to due to still being trapped by the other. The next one might be called last and talking about the separation from that person.'

@/secretlyjjoongrami on X 'Wait Eden is the beginning, where everything started, but it also represents perfect harmony. With all the clues in the video I think she's been corrupted by the masked man and broken to the point where everything inside her is in chaos. Maybe that's why her dress when he's around is black and torn, but the reflection in the mirror is wearing white, same thing when she's in the water...'

Min Siblings Updates

Yoongi's private message 'My Himari, please know that I'm more than sorry for everything happening at the moment I promise I'll fix it. This is very unfair to you, I can only imagine how stressed everything must make you right now, how much my stupidity bled onto your life. I wanted you to know how proud I am that you're working so hard especially on this incredibly creative project. Your soul is pure art itself, I hope you'll always be able to express yourself like this. Your big brother is so sorry, I love you, always ❤️'

Hanzo's private message 'Don't worry I streamed your new song the second the notification appeared on my screen, Haneul heard it and won't stop asking for me to 'play auntie's song' ㅎㅎ This is a beautiful project but please remember to rest, Hongjoong says he's worried that you have more nightmares lately. Pretty please send me the next track before it comes out, for your big brother that you love so much 🥺My amazing, artistic little tiger, I love you 💕Remember to send me a message when you land in Rosemont!'

Translated from Korean by Google

[dgdraws]

Artfight Postmortem

as you may know, i am prone to reflection on my art and process and progress. herein, i'm gonna navel gaze a bit about artfight 2024.

top line: really enjoyed myself, did a bunch of new things and this was "The Year of Artist Friends" which is spectacular.

i completed 20 attacks this year, including my first ever mass attacks! altogether I drew 28 different characters (incl 4 of my own).

for the first time, I had *users* i wanted to attack, rather than just characters i'd gathered via search or discord. honestly, three years ago when i picked up the stylus i was just excited at the prospect of drawing for other people, period. artfight was a cool way to be in community without prerequisites. i didn't quite dare to dream i might make some real connections and make proper friends. and yet :) here we are! i went in with three 'art friends' and i'm leaving with at least three more

in addition to being the year of artist friends, this could be "the year of clip studio paint was on megasale a week before artfight" because i knocked out like 2 practice pieces before July 1st so i wouldn't be starting with completely unfamiliar tools, but i used/learned csp for the vast majority of my attacks. one i finished in krita (lonnie), and my final attack i only used krita.

definitely trial-by-fired myself! but it motivated me to explore csp, and most important, gave me a reason to practice practice practice. last year i drew almost exclusively humans, lots of full bodys, because i wanted to get a better grip on anatomy and drawing a variety of faces. it worked then, and, well, i think i learned more of csp in one month of artfight than i would have if i was just plodding through my personal projects for 33 days :) *looks at my wip folder with months old files* pretty sure.

ok i'm gonna look at a few faves/standouts now:

came in hot with 0tt0 here! the main brush for this one (froggy pencil) was a mainstay for the whole month. so versatile!!! and lovely texture. this isn't quiiite brat green but this was what made me go, hmm, what if i... did a few pieces inspired by this album i can't stop listening to?

and then i took a huge turn and just used a soft round brush for Desa and Iryna for my dear friend @bobomcfoe bc i really wanted to turn these out in something approaching my "usual style" of late and i feared getting too deep into the temptations of csp if i put them off. and, um, yeah i love them. i got sooo close to matching that angle but ahh i can see the tilt now! nonetheless, love these two, not least bc brookie has some of the most pleasing color palettes to work w :)

then on to Rosé and baby's first vector lines! you can RESIZE lines in csp. did you know that? i didn't know that. i did forget to use it as much as i could have in later ones though, so i still only kinda know it ig. and halftone shading! bc why not? another thing i really only did this once, but want to experiment with more

Rook here, for my new friend @gender-premium-tm, was me realizing how to use filters/filter layers in csp. now THAT is something i used a lot this month! also something i use often in krita. i must say, though the csp options are slightly more limited (afaik), they have oomph!

okay these two are my "explicitly brat pieces"! artfight keeps you moving, which i find really valuable, bc i could have dithered foreverrr over Lonnie's gif here. like, do i add his arm? maybe he should be wearing a shirt? or, what if i just draw him twice, instead of splitting the expressi--see it just never ends. and as i am always going on about, art is so precious bc it is a reflection of us when we make it. maybe for some future artfight i'll redraw this (as Lonnie's artist @wenmistry did for me with Ebon this year), but for july 2024, i'm amazed at how well i executed this for just 2.5 days of work! (i did forget his glasses, which realization gave me a different take on the composition, so this is high on my list of potential redraws)

and then Aagatha. this is in my top 3 for this year. the pink just works so well with the green and her artist added the song to her character playlist AND added the necklace to her actual dnd inventory. like. omg. the impact your art can have!!! how freaking cool is that???

two mass attacks! i was in a silly goofy mood. i feel like i really got a handle on vectors w the anthro mass attack, i adjusted every single point on that one by hand. weird what hyperfocus makes you do sometimes, but i learned a lot from that. mainly that i will probably never user vectors as my main linework tool. there are circumstances it is perfect for, and outside of that i'm good w my raster lines lol

which is exactly what i used for this other mass attack, featuring mostly my ocs. hey, sometimes you need to shake things up! i can see here the style starting to hew back to my "usual style", though i'm thinking that might have a lot to do with drawing 5 people very quickly. falling back on practiced techniques. and by this time i apparently knew csp well enough to reproduce them pretty closely! ooh, one thing this made me miss was the transform tool in krita. that floor was ROUGH to wrestle into place in csp.

purple and green turned up a lot this year!

Echo is my crowning achievement with the froggy pencil, most of the shading here is just layers w that. and one last nod to brat green :)

i've worked in the paper cut style before (both my pfp's use it) but i really exploited csp's clipping layers to make Scraps here. they did make me briefly forget how they work in krita when i switched back, so well done w that

i played with gradient maps a little earlier in the month but for Okanar i actually made my own gradient! really a useful tool for ref'ing real human skin tones to make non-human ones, without muddying them up too much.

finally, Chaos. this actually might be my favorite! ironically this is the one that i made in krita. it was like, ahh, yes my old friend. wait where is the scroll bar. ah, okay, yes my old friend... the line layer is set to burn which just makes the whole thing so warm (and the cause of the red outlines on the earrings). used my old sable brush, a pattern fill set to overlay... my old stomping grounds! but plus a rendering technique i picked up this month and some other random habits i picked up in csp (like copying a detail to a new layer, moving it where i want a copy, and drawing/tracing it back onto the original layer in the new position. nothing i couldn't have been doing in krita all along, but made easier by the tool layout in csp, and therefore now discovered by me. amazing how one integrates new knowledge. it's like magic sometimes!!!)

that was a good roundup! if you actually read this to the end, wow! and thank you! i hope it was interesting... and inspiring! bc i want to read about your process and reflections too! yes you! and plz tag me, i'm always down to gush about art XD

[misc-obeyme]

YEAHHH SOLOMAMS FOR THE WIN- I'VE GOT KINDA AN OUTLINE OF THE SONGFIC TOO !! Preview straight from my notes that I wrote on the bus (the ring thing is something I've started doing):

"I wanted to say 10 because i have to go to bed at 10, but simeon said that was too early! So you better have him back here in one piece by 12. And no later!"

"Alright, fido. Back in one piece, got it" Mammon visibly fidgeting with his pinky ring, twisting it around his finger.

"H-hey um... Solomon's been trying to decide on what to wear all day. We've been trying to keep him out of the kitchen as well because he wanted to bake you something. He's just as nervous as you, even if he doesn't show it. So... Don't worry, alright?"

also horchata anything is to die for. There was some people selling agua fresca in a parking lot and I begged my mom to turn there so I could buy us some aksjdj.

And yes!! I keep getting videos of people making lace with all the bobbins!! Raphael would make the coolest stuff I bet!

OKAY THE LAST PART OF MY ASK GOT NAUGHTY LMAO, JUST A WARNING:

HELP, YEAH IT WOULD DEFINITELY COME UP WHEN THEY'RE GETTING FRISKY AJSJD. please imagine solomon takes off his shirt during and both Mammon and I point at different tattoos and are like "hey! I've seen a photo of that at the shop I go to!" and everyone does the spiderman meme pose "wait! you know about Reaper's Cave Studio?! How?!"

(Cue the three of them getting sidetracked examining Solomon's tattoos that they forget what they were originally doing.)

Like thirteen def posts on social media but also has photos on the wall/in a binder of past work she's done. And Sol is her test dummy, so his tattoos appear a lot.

Mine would just be a scattering of star sparkle tattoos on my collarbone, but easy to hide under my shirts so the boys usually never see them (similar to my sign off basically). I have an idea about the boys and my tattoos and it involves the constellations ,,,heh

akskf okay okay listen, about Mammon's piercing ,,,, hey man,,, h-hear me out,,, AKDJFJ pls im making myself sweat thinking about it because. I have. Thoughts and feelings that need to stay in my mind. But he definitely has nipple piercings and a dick piercing. I follow this artist on patreon and I can't imagine him any other way 😭 like, the one where it's on the underside across? The jacobs ladder one is maybe what I'm thinking of ?? I'm not about to google that to see if I'm right though. But yeah! He just,,, looks good in gold is all I'll say-

IF I HAD ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY I CAN'T REMEMBER BUT YIPPEE SLEEPOVER SCENE SOON OKAY BYEE

- ✨ anon

a;lksdfjf LUKE being all protective and then reassuring Mammon in the next sentence I CANNOT.

I love when the Purgatory Hall crew act like a lil family it's so cute! And Mammon being all nervous ahhh precious babies!!

Horchata is delicious and I will get it at every opportunity! A friend of mine had horchata at their wedding and they had a couple gallons left over and they just gave it all to me 'cause they knew how much I love it. Truly the best week of my life lol!

YES the lace bobbins!!! I was like I can see it in my mind, Raphael getting all crazy about it and making intricate patterns with that stuff like it's no big deal...

AH that is EXACTLY the scenario I was imagining!!! Just everybody being like wait that tattoo!!! LOL!!

I love that you just recognize Solomon's from Thirteen's portfolio lol that is perfection! And it does make sense if he has a bunch from her!

Star sparkle tattoos I love it... also constellations!!

AH I want nipple piercings so bad! Um, but anyway, yes you are thinking of the Jacob's Ladder! It's barbells that go down the bottom of the shaft, so they're like rungs! I think three is the standard but I'm sure you could do more if you want. Anyway, I totally imagine the same thing I cannot believe that Mammon doesn't have at least one dick piercing and the Jacob's Ladder situation just seems like what he'd go for!

I'm also just obsessed with piercings in general so perhaps that has to do with it. But he's the only one who actually has piercings in canon that we know of, so who's to say he doesn't have a Jacob's Ladder, right??

The only reason he doesn't have canon nipple piercings is because Solmare are cowards lol.

That boy definitely looks good in gold...

WOO sleepover!!

[heliosirrius]

I haven't had the need to use this blog, not still feel it, but Its late and I'm listening to music while riding out a flu. Of course music makes me think.

I've always been interested in song lyrics and relating to them to cope with life events, or even just because the lyrics are fun to decipher, but one that's been making me think a lot of my experience is jack stauber's cunk.

I know, silly name, but the lyrics are actually pretty dark and related to depression. Of course I can understand it as someone with the illness itself, but ever since I dumped my ex, a lot of things have been reframed, and I was thinking about this specific snippet of it to my experience.

I'm only here because this reason

I close my eyes, there goes a season

At the height of their control, I was just there. I was so burned out. I couldn't think. Things kept happening, every time I thought I got somewhere I'd fall again due circumstances. Time passed and I don't remember it happening. I don't think it still sinks in.

I will bury all my best friends

As I carry all the questions

Thinking back on it, their influence has made me destroy so many friendships. So many people who had the mistake of being human near them and being subject of my fondness.

I've reconnected with so many, and this takes me back to when I was burying them all to my past, wondering why. Wondering but accepting I had to. Why did I have to?

End, in the middle of my heart and my life

'Cause we're already out this far, holy one

End, in the middle of my heart and my life

'Cause we're already out this far, holy one

Because I was already too far in. I was only there and existing because it was my existence for so long, I didn't realize I could just leave. I didn't realize I had a choice. That the way I was treated wasn't normal.

It was just my reality.

Although the monster's in his cave

If we keep quiet, we'll be safe

The monster in this song is usually interpreted as depression. For me, depression was the least of my concerns. They were the scary one. I was scared of opening up, talking, sharing. I'd be better off like that. Because when I did, I was forced to lose my friends. So I kept quieter and quieter with the ones I still had left.

Take your lovely rope and wrap around my brain

Until the muscles ache and strain

I'll be happy on the day I squish the bug

That sucks my blood and has me drugged

The thoughts were ultimately just for the pain to stop. But in the end they drained me of everything. Demanding everything from me when I was so burned out in so many ways. And I told them. Yet they'd demand more more and more emotional, artistic, sexual things from me, and it was never enough. It was like a drug, where I'd feel nothing but a fog so strong I couldn't think, couldn't do anything but to oblige.

I knew I'd only be happy if I kicked that out of my life, even if it took a long time for me to accept it. Who can just accept everything you've always done for someone wasn't and would never be enough?

And once I squished the bug, already so fat from all it drained from me for years, I immediately felt better.

Swallow all of my teeth and shut the blinds

I can do another one, two, three, four, five more times

Usually this part is rightfully negative taking about self harm. In this recontextualization though? It's good. I would suck it up and go through all the pain to remove them from my life over and over. The relief is incredible. I don't care, it's blissful.

If you've made this far you're either very curious or my friend and I love you.

I love you too if you're just curious.

I don't love you if you're the ghoul who sucked the life out of me, stalking me once again, if the curiosity ever gives in. "People told me" my ass. No one wants to talk to you or would be this dedicated for you without peer pressure. This is my blog, I get so say my piece. This was a year ago and I know you don't let go.

[feathers-little-nest]

Hi voidlight

When you're not writing, but just daydreaming, what kinds of daydreams do you have? Are they detailed and specific? Do you repeat the same ones or explore new worlds?

Also tell me more about semi wuxia please

Ahh, this ask made me so happy! Thank you!!

In a true neurodivergent fashion, I usually daydream with my headphones on. I like to read the lyrics or translation before listening to a song for a first time so my imaginations match at least a bit and yeah, they're usually very different from each other (unless I'm listening to an oc playlist). While they can get super immersive and specific, more often than not I just see movements and colors. I'm not sure how to describe this... there are flashes and dances, and sometimes a bit of a character shown.

Hehehe, about semi-wuxia you say. I'll try to keep it as short as possible but ngl, I'm pretty fixated on this project.

There are three main characters, Jin Dongzhi, Xueshu and Dai Shankou. The mainest main is JD, whose special interest is swordfight, so he gets recognised by other martial artists pretty quickly. DS is his best friend, his guardian angel even but they start to grow apart. However, there's no time to worry about it, because the small mountain kingdom they live in is in turmoil - white haired man nicknamed Xueshu, dangerous assassin, came to light and started to gain followers. Little JD knows, Xueshu is his lover from a life that never happened.

In terms of genre it's drama/political drama with a bit of romance. Leading themes are (1) leaving the past behind and (2) how past shapes people. It's also queer because I decided so.

(There are ofc more smaller themes and arcs but ahh, that would get too long!!)

The last thing I'd like to say is, it's very much not set in ancient China. I'm doing my best reading books about it and knitting it into my worldbuilding but still, not really China.

Thanks again for an excuse to ramble about it!

[chaosciara]

I posted 7,787 times in 2022

427 posts created (5%)

7,360 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@freshpickle

@frenchsiren

@wizardpotions

@emmamountebank

@wickedangels

I tagged 2,522 of my posts in 2022

#ciara’s convos - 306 posts

#i bloody love artists - 196 posts

#ciara's convos - 119 posts

#love between fairy and devil - 115 posts

#ciara watches lbfd - 73 posts

#snek - 64 posts

#snoodle - 63 posts

#i bloody love fan artists - 59 posts

#the ocean and me - 50 posts

#ciara just says things - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi okay I need more people to know this because for……….reasons (my thumb gets tired even though I’m trying to be so brave about it)

if you use the mobile app a lot and you post fanfic or really long headcanon lists or literally whatever and it’s too much effort for you to go onto desk top and add the “keep reading” tab so you just don’t do it even if you want to, then here’s the mobile version:

If you type “ :readmore: ” (the stuff within the quotation marks but not the quotation marks) and then press enter it will add a “keep reading” line break

colon (:) no space, the word “readmore”, no space, another colon (:), enter

and when you post it will post as a normal “keep reading”

mobile users <3 please use this feature <3

genuinely you do you if you know about this and just don’t like the keep reading but if you didn’t know, now you know!

165 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

#4

hello mi cielos! I am back with the first uquiz of the new year squeee

go on a picnic with me and I’ll tell you what “thing that humans do that make me believe we’re magic” you are!

CW: alcohol mention, food (as this is a picnic, there are three questions where I ask you to choose food)

it took me an embarrassing amount of time to finish this but listen okay in my defence finding the exact right pics always takes my full attention and about 16 hours of my day! fully worth it!

as always there’s 10 q’s, poetry (hah I snuck it in there), clothes, and delicious food!

enjoy and let me know what you get in the tags <3

175 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

#3

the new bears in trees song is soooooo driving down the highway on a saturday afternoon and getting ready with your friends for a day at a garden market and screaming in your bedroom at 2am and the intro scene to the main character in a coming of age movie circa 2004 and also for having a concert in your shower

213 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#2

how to "get shit done": uni work addition

hi loveliest people so this is a sort of guide to how i get through uni work without going completely insane (make no mistake there is still some insanity present). I hope you find it helpful, or at least entertaining,

(disclaimer cause this is the internet: these work for me, they may not work for you)

table of contents:

a. date it

b. set reminders

c. how to stay on top of it

d. how to get on top of it if you aren't already

e. learn when your brain needs a break

f. uni is a full time job, treat it as such

A. date it

okay the first thing i do at the beginning of every semester is put uni dates in my calendar.

Term dates: when your term starts, when it ends, and your holidays. this is not just for information purposes but also so you have something to look forward to. additionally, it helps later on when you have to plan out assignment and test dates.

Assignment/ test dates: scour through the course outlines of all your courses and put every single date into your calendar. every assignment, every test, anything you have to submit goes in. that includes things like "weekly quizzes". make it a recurring date and chuck it in there.

B. set reminders

so i usually do this in my calendar but if you have a reminders app, or prefer other ways to set reminders then use that.

these reminders are not to make you feel bad for not doing work, it's to hold you responsible for your work. if you know you spiral at the idea of seeing a reminder when you haven't done work, this strategy may not work for you. don't give up, something will work. keep trying and have patience with yourself

if you know something is approaching it's easier to plan your life and your tasks around it. if you never know how long you have or you're always scrambling to figure out when something is due your mind is so focused on the dates it has no time for the work

Assignment reminders:

2 weeks before // 1 week before // 3 days before // 1 day before // 10 minutes before // on time of event

Test reminders:

1 week before // 3 days before // 1 day before // 1 hour before // on time of event

I know this may be excessive but if you're someone like me who constantly forgets things, it is very helpful to keep yourself on track

okay trust me you got this! i promise it's not as bad as it looks. right onto readings and assignments.

C. how to stay on top of it

do one reading per course per day: this is non-negotiable. trust me it is the easiest way to get through readings for a week.

if you have four courses of five readings each you will end up doing four readings a day from Monday to Friday. it is workable and you can do it. uni is fucking difficult and everyone has a story about why they're there but i promise you if you're there, the selection processes decided you were capable enough to handle it. and you are. if you can, start a week earlier so you're a little ahead otherwise it's totally okay.

2. start research for assignments 2 weeks before it is due. this will give you time and space to sort through what is relevant, useful, or should be discarded.

i have a folder for each assignment where all my research goes. within this folder there are three other folders: a. done and dusted b. too long/ not relevant c. could be helpful if i cared enough

and as i go through each paper/article/etc. i sort it into one of the three folders

See the full post

365 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hi tumblr i made another uquiz. i've lost track of how many i've made at this point hehehe

anyway it's seven q's, no celebrities, and descriptive results. there's of course poetry, some clothes, and general fun things. anyway take it and let me know what you get in the tags.

it is worth mentioning here: i'm gonna ask that if you do not like men (as in you think negatively of them), do not take this quiz. you will most likely not be happy with it. pertaining to results: there are no descriptions of physical appearance, additionally, all of them apply to trans-men as well. i will eat you if you're transphobic on my quiz.

okay i love you byeeee

535 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

lmaooooo it’s been a year indeed <3 mwah! I love you all thanks for being my tumblr humans :) I’m here again next year, cause I can never leave this brain rot

[1d1195]

HAHAH OMG I love that you tell your bf you’ve known Harry longer than him! I mean you’re not wrong?! And not 1D in your collage?! Honestly love that lol but aww omg it’s so cute that your classroom also has a bit of Harry too! I bet it’s adorable!

I love target too! I love spending there and it’s oddly relaxing for me even though in others stores I’m fighting for my life lol

Also HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW PICS OF HARRY?! He just looks so good 😭

Omg I use to LOVE Lizzie McGuire growing up and I would obsess over the Lizzie McGuire movie! And I was so down bad for Chad Michael Murray in Freaky Friday like he made my head spin as a child lol and I heard Noah on the radio the other day and I immediately thought of you! Also idk if you saw or anything but didn’t Noah cover Falling by Harry on an insta live??? I think I saw a clip of it??

I would say my music taste isn’t that broad or diverse soley bc once I find something I like I stick with it lol like the hyper fixating lasts a while lol or sometimes it’s just really obscure artists lol But I would say some of my faves would be Arctic Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, The Marias, Laufey, Lorde and lately I have been obsessed with the song Tell it to my Heart by Taylor Dayne! I probably have more but like I said it’s just all over the place! Oh and there are some other artists that I listen too in Spanish! And I often listen to instrumental/classical music lol ITS A LOT lol

The dentist is a scary place and plus who wants a stranger looking in your mouth like?! I don’t blame you! But yay be proud of your growth!!! Even being a little less scared and more okay going to the dentist is such a win!! Also I didn’t know that 🐱 anon was responsible for the inspo of MADE TO BE, NEIGHBORS AND LIEK ZIPPER?!?!? THQTS SO WILD?!? But honestly so cool! I love all those stories so much!

And I could NEVER mind bestie! Literally do whatever you please!

And I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner :( the universe HATES ME! Yesterday took my math final(that was something lol) and i had happened to get my period early :( AND I THINK IM GETTING SICK??😭 very sad honestly bc im not even done with all my exams :( ANWAYS the only plus side of yesterday was this hot guy who sat next to me and we got talking a bit 😌

i hope you’re okay! You know I always love talking with you!!!!

ALSO I SAW THE DING POST AND IM VERY EXCITED!!!!-💜

I literally have 4x6 photos of him on my wall at school and my students (who are INSANE and don't know who Harry is) at the beginning of the year are like "is that your bf?" and I usually tell them "in my head, yes" and point out the pics of my actual bf and they're like "he looks like Harry" and I'm "yeah, I have a type 🤭"

I would get married in the Starbucks at Target. That would be my ideal venue. For a honeymoon we would go to the clothing section.

I'll have to check out that song! and I totally know what you mean about diverse music tastes. I also stick to pretty much the same three things I really had to dig in the archives of my brain to get that info out for you.

Oh yes! 🐱 is my biggest Made to Be supporter! That's how I "met" her! I think she helped me continue the story--at least the last five parts minimum. Neighbors was entirely her premise and I just ran with it! One of the Zipper Extras I was totally stuck on and I think she had the idea of where I needed to go. She's a wealth of knowledge and help whenever I need it most 💕

I DID SEE THE PICS OF HIM. THIS version of him is the star of Ding 😊 He's delicious. So effortlessly beautiful I could scream. I'm glad you like the idea of Ding, I'm excited about it!

That's my bad bestie, we must have synced up via our telepathic connection. What a series of unlucky events on St. Patty's weekend no less. A math final, your period, and illness. You should get a lottery ticket, sounds like you'll hit it big. BUT A HOT GUY DO TELL MORE

I hope the rest of your finals go smoothly and I hope that you feel better ASAP. I'm doing alright. I need a mental health day. I'm spreading myself too thin but I don't think I'm going to get a real break until next next Friday the 29th 😭 but we'll see. Maybe I'm just being extra.

thanks for sending a message even when you're not feeling well. I hope the math final wasn't too bad, I would have given you all my good math vibes if I knew ahead of time but I'll do it retroactively just the same!

xoxo

[pika2482]

AOTD 12-21-2023 - The Fox and The Bird (OK Goodnight)

[All albums are rated subjectively based off my own enjoyment]

10/10

There are so many things I can say about this album, but I'll start with the usual;

OK Goodnight is a Prog Rock/Metal band that did a large part of the soundtrack for RWBY. Casey Lee Williams, daughter of one of the show's writers, Clearly has a knack for telling some of the most gut-wrenching stories, as shown in their second studio album, The Fox and The Bird. This album was written, recorded, and produced over a three year span, and by God it shows in it's master craftsmanship.

It follows our two main protagonists (Take a guess who) in their quest to return the rain to their homeland, which has been stricken with drought for some time. After hearing a rumor from The Racoon, they set off on a journey to collect a set of totems from a Very interesting cast of characters. I will not spoil anything from there, as this is a required listen for anyone with working ears.

The story is told in such a poetic story-book type way. The lyrics are artistic as they are concise and direct, and unlike Pink Lemonade (Closure in Moscow), which I had to use it's Genius page to keep track of the story, I barely even needed to read the lyrics to keep up with this one. Every aspect in each song serves both the story, fantastically painting the scene, characters, and their personalities, and also the music itself, with it's fantastic intertwining melodies and powerful, driven beats and riffs. I kid you not, I can remove the vocals from any song and you'll be able to tell me Exactly what type of character the song is about, between your headbanging and the tears in your eyes towards the ladder half.

Oh yeah, sidenote, this album is The Only artistic / entertainment medium to ever make me cry. So yeah, there's that.

While this album had MULTIPLE 9's and 10's individually, only one song can stand out as the Highlight for me:

The Bear.

With it's powerful yet simple lead guitar riff, it's melody, it's immensely powerful chorus, and the ONLY vocal growls I have ever liked. That with it's immensely powerful lyrics, an argument between our protagonists and The Bear between needing one another to survive in this world, or survival of the fittest, encompasses so many of this albums themes and drives such a hard and clear message that shoots right from my headphones into my heart. It changed my taste in music forever. I don't think I would have EVER gotten into this heavier style if it wasn't for this song.

Other standouts include The Fox and The Bird, The Racoon, The Falcon, The Bird and The Mountain. Yes, that is nearly half the track list as standouts. Yes, this album is that good.

If I HAVE to critique it over anything, it's The Dream. The Dream works as an instrumental Interlude to mirror The Nightmare earlier in the album. It starts as mainly ambient before dropping into this Massive ODESZA type soundscape that gives the Exact sensation as a really good dream (How the Fuck?) that starts slowly building up into... nothing. The goddamn track blueballsed me! This is hardly a complaint as this is what a lot of my good dreams do. If this was expanded into a full track it would crack my top 50 Easily, but, it has to serve the story first. And the story takes you directly into the grueling roars and gray stained claws of The Bear.

Overall, The best album I've ever heard and it's not very close. It changed my taste in music, made me cry, and made me buy it's CD. 10/10, would listen again, and again, and again, and again.

Favorite Songs: The Fox and The Bird, The Racoon, The Falcon, The Bear, The Bird, The Mountain

Least Favorite Songs: The Dream

IMPORTANT NOTE: The Bear and The Fox and The Bird are my number 1 and 2 favorite songs of all time, and The Racoon and The Falcon are also present on my Top 50 playlist.

[vivacoded]

October 2, 2023

Current Mood: fine, a little anxious

Day Rating: 5/10

Another day doing online college... Or so I thought. That makes it sound like I spent the day on some thrilling adventure, but really I just didn't have any work to do. I had the whole house to myself like I usually do on weekdays, so I spent today just lounging around at my kitchen table with my dog.

I feel bad for her though lmao. The kitchen window was open so we could hear all the birds tweeting outside, but I had a song stuck in my head. The Song with Five Names, a​.​k​.​a. Soapbox Tao, a​.​k​.​a. Checkmate Atheists! a​.​k​.​a. Neospace Government, a​.​k​.​a. You Can Never Know by Will Wood to be exact. Say that 10 times fast. See, when I have a song stuck in my head, I can't just listen to it once. Not twice. Not even three times. I have to listen to it over and over and over and overandoverandoverandoverandover again on repeat until I'm satisfied. I think that's a form of stimming. Lately I've been having one Will Wood song stuck in my head per day. I wouldn't be surprised if he's the only artist that shows up in my Spotify Wrapped. Anyways, back to my dog, poor girl just wanted to rest her old bones and take a nap, but here I am blasting some evil jazz on repeat because I can't function otherwise. Or maybe she's used to it by now :P

Later today, after dinner to be exact, my mom took me out driving again. I've only ever driven in parking lots, so she wanted me to get at least some experience on the road before I meet with my instructor on Wednesday (which, by the way, I found out there's no female instructors at that school. Being in a car with some random man? Yuck!) The original plan was just to drive around the block, but I eventually wanted to practice some more since I felt like I was getting the hang of things.

I drove around the whole town for a while, which wasn't really a lot since I live in a small town, and I eventually got the courage to drive on a real road. I didn't drive on the real road too much, to be fair, but it was still my first time actually being on one. It was a little scary, but there weren't many cars out this evening. The most aggravating part was waiting for cars to pass so I could actually turn onto the road.

Tomorrow, my mom wants me to take on more populated roads. Nothing big, just in the next town over. She specifically wants me to go to this store, and it makes me wonder if it's just an excuse to take her out shopping lmao.

Oh! I drove by some houses in my town that are already decorated for Halloween. There was one house in the very back road that did an excellent job utilizing the small yard they had to strategically place props. There didn't seem to be any specific theme, but I'm not complaining. All the stuff they had put out there was awesome. I'm going to go window shopping for Halloween props and decorations later this month, so maybe I can find where those people got their stuff from. People always hype up Spirit Halloween, but other stores like Party City and Home Depot have really cool things too. Sometimes they're even better!

I hope when I'm living on my own, I'll be able to make enough money where I can buy cool Halloween props too. Hell, I'd keep a couple in my house all year long if they fit my decorations. Man, if I had money, I'd be so cool. I hate that I need money in order to express myself and be happy, but I also want money so bad. The world is tough like that, I suppose.

Another diary entry where I rambled a lot about an uneventful day. I wonder what will happen when I have an eventful day. I might end up writing a novel lmao. Not that it matters. This is my corner of the internet. It's possible that no one will even read these entries anyways. Just me and my own thoughts. Marking my existence on the internet so I won't be forgotten.

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (14)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It's simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if...Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

"A future without you is a world without color."

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Note: The lyrics of the song your eyes tell by BTS used in this chapter is NOT translated by me. It is composed/covered by  genuis english  translation and Jess A. Please consider listening to their music here. They’re a great singer! A line from Agust D’s 140503 at Dawn is also used in this update.

Warnings: blood, physical violence

***This is a super short chapter. JJK is just reflecting hehe

SERIES: CHAPTER 13 | FINAL CHAPTER

The blood in Jeongguk's lower lip was mocking him—telling him that once again, he fucked up.

Or at least this was what Park Jimin thought.

"So that's it, huh?" Your best friend rarely resort to violence—wait. This was wrong. Violence was never an option for Jimin, but he was making an exception tonight.

"You're just going to give up on her?" The older boy grabbed the collar of your soulmate's shirt.

Jimin was so mad he swore he could beat Jeongguk to a pulp.

How could Jeongguk be this dumb?

Jimin heard your conversation with your soulmate just a few breaths ago. He didn't plan to eavesdrop, it just happened.

Yoongi was the first one to know what happened to you. He was adamant to let you leave a while ago. He just had this weird feeling in his stomach that told him to check up on you.

His nightmare became a reality when he saw Jimin and Taehyung making out on the couch. You weren't with them and it only meant one thing: you left alone.

Yoongi was so mad at himself. He should have called you an uber or he should have driven you to wherever the hell you wanted to go.

This was partly his fault that's why he couldn't help but shudder in fear and regret when one of his staffs told him about what happened to you.

Police officers said you were under the influence of alcohol. Yoongi already knew this, but Taehyung and Jimin were still shocked.

They had no idea you left.

It actually took the three of them a long time to know what had happened to you. By the time they reached the hospital, they were already too late.

Jeongguk managed to make you cry over and over again.

What an asshole.

What kind of soulmate was Jeongguk? Were you really meant to be together? These questions were running inside your best friend's head. It had been answered when Jeongguk suddenly pushed Jimin away.

He wiped the blood in his bottom lip, smirking at his hyung.

"Who said I'm giving up on her?"

Jimin's jaw dropped. Jeongguk’s voice is full of confidence and determination.

"Y-You’re not?"

"No." Your soulmate said firmly. He couldn't. He wouldn't. Not when he was sure about what he felt for you, not when you needed him the most, and definitely not when you were giving up on him.

No. He should fight when you couldn't.

"Good," your best friend released a breath. He hated your soulmate for hurting you, but Jimin also knew that you loved Jeongguk—even if you told him otherwise.

This was the sad thing about the existence of soulmate that Jimin despised. The encouraging reminders like 'You should learn to love yourself,' and 'you don't need your soulmate to be happy,' would not apply.

It helped, yes. But your world was different. It would always feel like a part of you was missing when your soulmate didn’t love you back.

Humans were made to love and to feel loved. This reminded Jimin of the neon signage that's plastered on Genius Lab: I'm the island in this vast ocean, don't abandon me. This was Min Yoongi's idea. The bar owner always told him and everyone (really) that people were like island—they were able to provide—to extend their hands in this cold world.

They should never be abandoned because like any other things, they needed to be taken care of too.

"But what are you planning to do?" Jimin creased his forehead.

Jeongguk didn't even bat an eyelash when you told him to let you go. This was what annoyed Jimin. How could your soulmate be so silent about this? Why did he simply leave when you told him to go?

In Jeongguk's defense, he just didn't want to upset you any longer. He was aware that his presence was stressing you out. You should rest, especially because there's possibility that you might need to undergo an eye surgery.

Jeongguk's heart clenched once again. You were blind and you thought it was because he hated you.

It’s not true and he would change your mind.

"Seriously, Guk?" Taehyung shook his head, scowling. "This is your and my fiancé’s idea?"

"Don't get mad at Jimin-hyung. It's my idea." Jeongguk corrected his best friend. "Your soulmate is just helping me."

It had been days since the accident and you were aware that Jeongguk had been by your side all this time, not really by your side, per se, but he was around. He was patiently waiting outside of your room in this hospital, begging Jimin and your other loved ones to tell him what he could to help.

Today was the only time he left the hospital, as in the same day of your eye surgery.

Jeongguk swore he's not running away this time though. He was actually going to let you know that he would be staying with you. Forever.

"I can't let you do this, Jeon. I'm gonna lose my job if you fuck this one up!" Taehyung groaned.

"Hyung, please. This is really important!" Jeongguk was nervous. He was running out of time. Your surgery was in a few minutes and here he was, invading the studio where Taehyung worked as a DJ.

"This is going to be aired on national radio, Guk. As in the whole South Korea!"

"I know!" Jeongguk's eyes were blown wide. "This is exactly why I want to do this, hyung. I want everyone to know how I feel!"

If you couldn’t see, then maybe you could understand Jeongguk’s feelings by listening. He was willing to explore other senses just to make you believe.

"Fucking sappy!" In the end, Taehyung had no choice but to let his best friend proclaim his love for you.

Jeongguk smiled as he tapped the microphone, softly calling your name.

"It's Jeongguk. I know you don't want to hear from me, but I have something to say." Jeongguk grimaced. He seriously sucked when it came to expressing his emotions through words. "This will be quick, I promise. I just hope Jiminie-hyung is actually helping me out."

"Of course he is!" Taehyung shouted somewhere. Jimin wouldn't dare to ruin this for you. His task was simple anyway. He only needed to make sure that you were listening to the radio a few moments before your eye surgery.

You were nervous. Jimin wanted to help you calm down by making sure that you knew Jeongguk was not going to leave you alone in the cold.

"Anyway I know that I...well...I," your soulmate blushed. How should he describe himself? Was there a word that could emphasize his stupidity?

"I am an idiot." Jeongguk bit the inside of his cheek. This was the only adjective he could think of. "I am the idiot who hurt you and I know, I know...I don’t deserve your forgiveness because of how selfish I was—I mean, am. I still am."

He chuckled nervously. His heart was hammering.

"Call me selfish or whatever you want. I'm sure I deserve it anyway, but yeah...I'll be selfish again if this is the only way to let you know what I really feel about you."

Jeongguk cleared his throat as the beat of the music started to play.

"Why are my eyes filled with tears?” He sang.

This was a song composed by him. Of course he couldn't do this alone. Namjoon was the one who produced the beat of this song. He also helped his brother-in-law to write the lines. Ji-eun's father was a lyrical genius.

"Hey, stay by my side and laugh.” Jeongguk knew he was asking for too much. It was impossible to simply smile and stay with him—not after the hell he had put you through.

"A future without you is a world without color, filled with monochrome coldness." But this was the exact representation of what would happen if you weren't in his life.

Life would literally be black and white. Dull. Jeongguk knew how essential colors were in his life, yet if he was forced to choose between the hues and you, he would choose you in a heartbeat.

"Even the darkness we see is so beautiful. Please believe me."

Darkness was the absence of light. You were Jeongguk’s light. His life would be dark if you were not around.

He also knew you were going through the darkest time of your life, so he wanted this moment to still be beautiful.

He wanted you to believe that every hardship would pay off. You just had to believe.

"Looking only directly at you, so you don't go away"

Jeongguk wrote this line many months ago. It wasn't even meant to be lyrics to a song. These were simply the words he incorporated in his art.

Jeongguk was a soft person. He usually put cheesy captions in his paintings and drawings—the things he usually couldn’t verbalize.

"Whatever lies in the way of you and me. I'll just keep looking at the future of you and I."

It didn't matter that you lost hope. Jeongguk was sure he would make you believe in love again.

"Shadows of the past keep chasing me everywhere I go, and they try to keep ahold of me and till this day they follow me."

He would try to let go of his hurtful past. Those things didn't matter because he could always make good memories with you.

"Even though it seems to be the start of the end I'll call you and shout out your name."

He would be the hope in your relationship. This might be the end for you; however, Jeongguk was just starting.

Starting to accept the soulmate bond.

"I'll become your eyes to the world and for whatever we may face."

Starting to show you how much you meant to him.

He was willing to become your eyes if you didn't recover from this instantly. He would guide you until you could see again.

"One day all of this, this sadness that we share will bring us together."

The sadness would be over soon. You would see again;

Because Jeon Jeongguk was sure. He loved you and...

"Your eyes will tell."

[fallinfl0wers]

May request prompt

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love." Unbalance Shadow - ZOOL

For Haruka from i7 please?

7. “Even if we’re far apart, I’ll keep singing for you with all my love.” Unbalance Shadow - ZOOL from the lyric prompt list! thank you for your request!! i love haruka so so so much, he's my favorite character in i7! >< also! i'm trying a slightly new format that i'll be aplying to my future posts! i'll also start editing the old ones just beause,, yeah i think it looks cute. the colored letters aren't part of the format, but i felt like they fit here so lol on a slightly sadder note, the first draft of this got deleted on accident and i had been sulking about it for a while but lol here we are warnings: gn reader, light hurt/comfort, fluff, long-distance relationships, set sometime in the future of i7's story, though this is pretty much fluff without plot,,, word count: 1623 words

"Up next are Natsume-san and Isumi-san, three minutes!" the voice of a staff member makes him look up from the screen of his phone, where he had been aimlessly scrolling down on his SNS while the hairstylists did his hair.

"Yeah, understood." He answers, putting his phone down on the table as a makeup artist retouches his makeup.

The young idol then walked alongside his unitmate to enter the dark stage, adjusting his in-ear monitor as he sat down on the chair preppared for him beforehand, surrounded by the expectant, excited whispers of the audience who waved their lightsticks in support for their favorite idols. Scanning the audience with his eyes, he clutched his microphone.

The spotlights landed on the two idols as the music started to play and they could hear the cheering of their fans before they quieted down, in order to hear their singing.

"I wandered, lost in my loneliness like a desert without roads."

Haruka Isumi didn't need anyone at his side to be the best, everyone will just drop him the moment the next shiny, newest toy appears in front of them. At least, that's what his experience had taught him.

"There, a single, tiny flower became the melody of love."

Then everything happened. ZOOL happened. But more importantly, you happened.

He, who didn't care for almost anything anymore, became infatuated with you. He fell in love with you, who always looked at him and appreciated him, you, who always supported him and never laughed at him.

"My tears suddenly fell, shaking the green leaves."

You, who helped him through each and every one of his worst moments and were there to laugh with him during his best moments, you, who were both his best friend and his dear, dear lover.

"Wow, 'the weaker you become...'"

You, who always supported him on his dreams and were the first one to congratulate him on everything he achieved.

You, who he was now supporting as you walked to your own dreams.

You, who were walking towards your dreams, far, far away from him.

"(So, don't look back)."

"'...the kinder...'"

You, who he hoped woke up earlier than usual today just to see him singing live even if it was through a computer.

"(Sharing, big love)."

"'...you'll become.' Your gentle warmth taught me that."

You, who taught him everything he knew about romantic love, who showed him that there was more to people than hatred and betrayal. So warm and gentle, you always made him feel like he belonged somewhere.

But you're not next to him, not anymore. Not physically, at least.

But, that's alright. It hurts, it hurts so much and it makes him anxious constantly even if he'd never admit it out loud. But that's alright.

"Like the falling rain, we are not alone."

That's alright, even if it hurts and it brings scary, unwanted thoughts into his mind, it's alright. It's alright, because he knows you're doing what you love just like he is.

And it's alright, because he's not the weak, arrogant crybaby he was when you met. He's stronger now, he has grown up, he's mature. He can handle this. He can keep this going. He can support you without crying every night for your absence.

"Beneath this wide sky, even if you're on the other side of the world, I'm thinking--"

"--of you again today."

It's alright, because he knows you've grown up as well, he knows neither of you is a stupid, oh so stupid and inexperienced highschooler like when you first met. He knows, you both can be stronger than this distance.

"(Unbalance, Unbalance)."

"Look, the crescent moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

He knows this, and still...

He can't help but get worried, sometimes.

"(Unbalance, Unbalance)."

"I want to envelop everything..."

He can't help but worry that you'll get tired of this. Tired of him always being busy, of your schedules never matching, of how he still has to keep you as a secret to protect you from the tabloids and his crazed fans. Worry that you might find someone who has less trouble giving affection, someone who can love you better than him.

Though all his worries wash away, everytime you send him a picture of his newest merchandise that just arrived to your apartment and a cute stamp through RabbitChat at ungodly hours for him, followed by the usual voice note saying 'i love you'.

He knows you have your own fears about it all, as well. But he's told you, over and over again, without ever feeling annoyed, that he only has eyes for you, no matter how many pretty actresses and idols try to snatch him away, the only person he loves in that way is you and only you.

There has never been anyone else but you inside his heart.

You're the only one Haruka wants to spend his whole life with, the only one who can fully understand him and love him.

"...Just as the gentle wind loves the sea..."

And no matter how longer you may have to be apart, how many people you both will meet and how many worries there will be in between before you can next meet again, he wants to and will make sure to remind you daily that he loves you and will love you until he takes his last breath.

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love."

He lifts his gaze to look at the camera with a content sparkle hidden in his eyes, once his next line comes around.

"I wish you--"

("I got a scholarship to finish my college studies overseas, Haruka!" You told him a couple years ago.)

"--happiness."

("I'll be here waiting for you to comeback when you're ready." He called your name that night at the airport, hugging you close before you took off.)

"This seed of happiness that I touched exists to protect the person I love."

("It must be hard for you, isn't it? You don't need to call me every day if you're too tired to do it. I can wait for as long as you need.")

"Our words dissolve in the twilight."

("Nonsense! I... am, tired, but! You must be tired too, right? Get some rest, I'll hang up if you promise you're going to rest too!")

"That seed of happiness that you touched reaches out to someone I don't know."

("I saw that selfie you posted with those two from ainana, I'm so happy to see you really have friends!" "Why did you even doubt that?!" "I worry about you, since I can't see you everyday and all that...")

"Because the circle of love that connects us lights up tomorrow."

("I miss you." "I know, I miss you too." "Let's try to meet during my summer break?" "I already told you, didn't I? I can wait for as long as you need, dummy.")

"Look, it has started to rain."

("Isn't it almost midnight there? Go to sleep." "But I wanna talk more with you..." "You're so hopeless... Go on, sleep, I'm not going anywhere until you sleep." "Hehehe, can I get a lullaby from you before I sleep?" "There's no helping it, right? You really get needy when it's late at night." "But you love anyway, so it works out...~")

"I want to envelop everything, Shadow."

("...Yeah, I love you.")

"Today's live was amazing, Haruka!" Your voice tells him through the phone while he layed down on his bed, late at night in his timezone. "Everyone was so cool, but you were the coolest! The whole time you were on screen I was all like 'Yes this is my boyfriend just look at him go he's so amazing!!!'"

He chuckled at your words, a loving gaze softening his gaze while he listened to your voice.

"I know, right? Praise me more, praise me more~ But only after you tell me, did you sleep early yesterday to wake up early today?"

"I totally did! I wouldn't miss one of your shows if I can help it!"

Though most of the times you couldn't.

He still felt his heartbeat race up at your support.

"You're so cute, did you know that?"

"Eh-? Why tell me that all of a sudden?!"

"Because..." He yawned. "I want to." You went silent for a second, before speaking again.

"You're tired, aren't you? You should go to sleep..."

"No... wanna talk to you more..."

He can already hear your tender smile just from your words alone.

"Go ahead, Haruka. You did well today, you deserve some rest."

"Do I get a lullaby from you to sleep?"

You chuckled.

"Yeah, of course. You are so needy when it's late at night..."

"Like you're one to talk."

"I know, I know."

He smiles, hearing you giggle through the phone.

"I wish I could hold you until you fell asleep right now... But since I can, you'll have to do with me singing my new favorite song for you~"

"'s okay, I like your voice. I'd listen to your voice the whole day if you wanted me to."

"Then... I'll start..." You cleared your throat, and he couldn't help but smile to himself again when he heard the lyrics of his duet song with Minami.

You're not a singer like he is, and you of course haven't trained your voice for as long as he has, he knows that and he still loves the sound of your singing voice.

He drifts off to sleep with your voice as his lullaby, and he knows you both hold true to the lyrics for as long as you need to.

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love...~"

[sillyrabbit81]

Syverson & Vixen

Summary: Captain Syverson retires from the Army and takes an extended vacation. He wasn't planning on falling in love. Then he meets vix, an unlucky in love tattoo artist at a party. Do they have what it takes to make it?

Pairing: Syverson x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.3k

Warnings: swearing, smoking, drug use, violence, sexual assault (last paragraph of the chapter if you want to skip it)

Authors Note: I hope you enjoy my version of Syverson. Thanks for reading.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist

Part 4 Part 6

Part 5

Victoria

I woke up Sunday morning with a mild hangover. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, hoping it would get the shitty taste from my mouth. It didn't work nearly as well as I had hoped.

I went to the kitchen, made a coffee and cooked a fry-up of bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, baked beans and toast. I served three plates up, covered two with foil for Jess and Peter, then went out on the back verandah and ate.

I looked at my phone. I had five missed calls from Rob and ten drunken messages about how sorry he was and how he wants to make it up to me. I sent a message telling him to apologise to Pete and leave me alone.

There was a message from my ex/boss, Macca. He just said he needed to book one of his mates in with me after hours on Wednesday. Great, there goes four hours of my afternoon having to sit with my boss and some bikie talk about all the rooting and drugs they did back in the day. At least I would get paid for having to listen to those conversations, unlike when we were dating.

No message from Sy, though. I shouldn't expect one so soon, but I was disappointed. I really liked him. He had been a lot of fun and fit in well last night. He was a fair bit older than me, but that was usually a plus. He was very confident in himself but didn't appear arrogant. He could take a joke and could flirt pretty well. Of course, his amazing body and good looks helped. And my God, he could kiss.

I sighed as I looked over the backyard. There wasn't too much cleaning up to do. Most people had used the bins I had put out. I smoked a cigarette and finished my coffee before I started cleaning the yard.

"So, tell me what happened with Sy," Jess asked after Pete went home. It was after dinner, and the two of us were watching Netflix with the air-con blasting.

"Well, not much really, we kissed, and it was really good, like hot as fuck good. I'm pretty much ready to go with him back to Pete's place, and he stops and asks me out for a date."

"What did you say?"

"I said I would, and that was it."

"Really?" Jess asked. "He didn't try and take you back to Petes?"

"Nope," I said, feeling a bit confused about it still.

"He seemed keen, though."

"I thought so too. I pretty much told Sy I'd fuck him, and he said no."

Jess raised her eyebrows. "That's weird. Has he messaged you today?"

"No. I'll give it a few days before I worry about it." I was lying. I was worried about it already. I really wanted to hear from him. Maybe I came on too strong. Or perhaps he was so drunk he forgot he asked me out.

Jess nodded. "What happened with Robbo? What was that about?"

I shook my head, "I don't know. He got the shits when I talked to Sy, and then he wouldn't let my hand go. Sy comes up and, get this," I start laughing already. "Sy says to Robbo, 'let go of her hand, son.'"

"Son?" Both Jess and I laugh, and it takes us a few minutes to calm down.

"Yeah, anyway, Rob gets agro about it, and then Pete came, and it was over." I shrugged. "I thought he would leave me alone after that, but I woke up to a ton of messages from him, so who knows."

"What's going on with Macca?"

"Macca is Macca. He brought his new girlfriend into the shop last week. I was relieved, actually. I don't think she's the one he cheated on me with, but he paraded her around and made sure I met her. I'm not sure if he's playing games with me or if he's really over it."

"Are you still going to get a new job?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I feel stifled there. But Macca knows so many people, and I don't know what he has said about me. I think I'm going to have to look out of the area, which means more travel which will suck balls."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Jen worked on the other side of Sydney, and it could take her 45 to an hour to get to work each day.

"Maybe we could move together. I could try and find a job near the hospital if you want."

"I don't think Pete will move away from the beach."

"Did you guys talk more about getting married?" Jess shook her head and looked like she was going to cry. "Oh, Jess, sweetie. I'm sorry."

I hugged her and rubbed her back while she cried. Poor Jess. I don't know why Pete won't marry her. Jess has an old fashioned notion about not living with your partner until you're married, and its caused friction over the years. But it's getting worse. Jess wants kids too. Despite only being 27, she was worried her time is slipping away.

After Jess had a good cry and we watched Nailed It before we went to bed. I had just gotten into bed when my phone rang.

My heart jumped in my throat. It was a number I didn't recognise. I almost let it go through to voice mail, but I remembered I didn't get Sy's number.

"Hello."

"Hi, Sugar Tits." It was Macca, and he sounded speedy. Great.

"Hi, Macca. Couldn't this wait until the morning? Whose phone are you calling from."

"I got a new number, just calling to let you know."

"Again?"

"Yeah, new provider and all that."

"You could have just texted me."

"Yes, but then I wouldn't be able to hear your lovely voice. Also, I didn't know if you got my message last night about Boots."

"The mate you want me to tattoo? Yeah, I got it. Sorry I didn't reply. I was just going to tell you tomorrow it was ok."

"Well, he's here now pestering me, so I thought I'd call you and check."

"It's fine. I'm in bed, so I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?"

"Want to come back to my place on Wednesday after the job's done? We could get lit."

I rolled my eyes. "Macca, I've got jobs on Thursday and don't you have a girlfriend?"

"You know I'd rather have you."

"Goodnight Macca, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Why don't you come over now? You can have the week off, and we can hang out at my place."

"Sorry, Mac, I'm going to bed." I hung up, annoyed. I wasn't used to this crap. I should never have gotten involved with Macca. I knew enough not to shit where you ate, but he had been so charming when I first worked with him, and he eventually wore me down, and we dated. Then I fucked up when I found out Macca had cheated on me and got so wasted I kissed Rob. I need to get off my arse and get a new job, so I don't have to see Macca all the time.

My phone rang again. It was a number I didn't know, and I assumed it was Macca calling back.

"Look, I told you nicely. I'm not interested. Don't make me tell you to fuck off."

"Well, alright then, Darlin'." It was Syverson.

"Sy," my breath sped up. "Sorry, I didn't realise it was you."

"Was it that guy from last night?"

"No." I chewed my lip. "It was my boss."

"Strange way to talk to your boss."

"He's also my ex."

"I see." He's thinking I'm a whole lot of trouble, isn't he?

"He cheated on me," I said quickly.

"Well, he must be a few sandwiches shy of a picnic." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I smiled too. Sy wasn't worried. "What are you up to?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I'm just about to hop into bed. I wanted to hear your voice before I did."

"Aww, you miss me already?" I teased.

"I'd be a fool if I didn't, and my Momma didn't raise fools."

I blushed. Sy was good. "I'm looking forward to Friday," I said. "Where are we going?"

"I ain't telling."

"Another surprise," I said. "Do you like surprises?"

"Sometimes. I like surprising pretty little kittens like you."

I felt myself getting all hot, and I loved how he talked. He was so suggestive it made my toes curl. "At least tell me what to wear."

"Something like what you wore to the party would be appropriate."

"And under that?" I asked, teasing.

"Hmm. Why don't you surprise me."

I laughed. "Ok, I will."

"Well, I'll let you get some sleep, Darlin'. Goodnight."

I said goodnight to Sy, but I had no idea how I would sleep.

Macca didn't show for work on Monday or Tuesday. I was relieved. It meant he found some other girl to warm his bed, which meant he would leave me alone again. I thought about ignoring Maccas phone call, but I had the feeling that wasn't going to be the end of it. It's the second time since I had broken it off with him that he had gotten bored and tried to get me back.

When Macca doesn't show for work, I often have to wrangle shit at the shop. The counter girls, who are always young, pretty and straight out of high school, are always trying to slack off when he's not in, trying to get out of cleaning duties or taking too many breaks. Although I got paid pretty well, I didn't get paid enough to be a manager, but I couldn't stand the shop being dirty. It made the artists look bad. Not to mention then, I was also responsible for the money at the end of the day. Luckily, most people know enough not to steal cash from a tattoo shop and the till usually adds up.

I put out some feelers with other artists I knew to see if any jobs were going. There were a couple of places that looked interesting. I sent enquires to one shop with a link to my socials for work evidence. They replied a few hours later and wanted to meet with me next week.

I spent a lot of time thinking about Sy while I worked. So much so that I found myself drawing Syverson at the workbench on Wednesday afternoon. I drew him as I remembered him, his face in profile, standing with his arms crossed over his broad chest in his black t-shirt, jeans and boots. I added a cigarette packet peeking out of his t-shirt sleeve, and I rolled the bottom of his jeans up. I gave him a pompadour but still short hair on the sides and made his beard a bit neater. I added a 'Momma' love heart tattoo. I drew a frame around it. Now I just had to find someone to tattoo it to.

I felt someone breathing on my neck, and I turned around and saw Macca peering over my shoulder. "That's good, Vix. Who's the dude?"

"The man of my dreams, Mac," I said dismissively. "Nice of you to show up." He looked awful, deep purple bags under his red-rimmed eyes. His skin was pale and dry, his hair could do with a wash, and he appeared to have slept in his clothes.

"I was sick," Macca said without the common decency to even pretend to be apologetic. When he was like this, I don't know what possessed me to date him in the first place.

"A phone call would have been nice," I told him, slipping my drawing in my bag.

Macca shrugged. "Are you still ok to do the tattoo for Boots?"

I nodded and pulled out my iPad to draw the stencil up. "Is he here?" Macca nodded and brought him in.

A few hours after doing yet another Ned Kelly tattoo, Macca and I were closing up. He had paid me for the day, and I had packed up, so I went into Macca's room to tell him I was leaving. He was smoking meth from a glass pipe and offered me some.

"No, thanks," I told him. "That shit messes me up for days."

"I have some coke if you want," Macca offers.

I shook my head, wanting to be out of there. There were always drugs around in my line of work, and though I have been known to partake, I definitely don't want to do drugs with Macca ever again. That's how I ended up sleeping with him the first time. "I suppose you won't be in tomorrow?"

"Come back to my place, Vix," Macca said, ignoring my question. His pupils were so big his brown eyes were nearly black.

"When was the last time you slept?" I asked.

"Monday night." He replied. Only one day without sleep. That's not so bad.

"Why don't you stop now and try and get a few hours tonight, ok, Mac?"

Macca reached out and took my hand. "You were always looking out for me, Vixy. I miss you."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe next time you find a girl you like, don't stick your dick in another girl." I tore my hand away, and he was on his feet. His hands were on my shoulders, pushing me against the wall. I was scared now. He had been aggressive with me in his behaviour and words before, but never physically.

"I told you it wasn't my fault." His voice was vicious, and little flecks of spittle came out as he spoke. "I fucking love you, Vix." Then he kissed me. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, and it was coarse and dry like sandpaper in my mouth. My stomach heaved. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. His hands were up my skirt, touching me, trying to get into my underwear.

I brought my hands up and pressed my thumbs into his eyes.

"Bitch!" He screamed. He let me go, clutching at his eyes.

I ran.

Part 6

[sofreddie]

A Good Fit (Part 1 of 2)

Summary: Jensen really wants to land this role.

Characters: Jensen x Producer!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Implied Smut

Word Count: 1,496

A/N: There will be a part 2. This story came outta nowhere and I just had to write it down. Let me know what you think.

Jensen took a deep breath as he stood in front of the closed door, his hands clutching the script to the role of a lifetime - an upcoming show called Supernatural. He wanted this role, bad.

The only thing that stood between him and the role was the producer, Y/N Y/L/N.

She - yes, she - was the producer, the top of the food chain, the one that made and unmade careers.

Taking on an air of confidence that was mostly acting, Jensen knocked firmly on the door. Hearing a feminine voice call out to him, he opened the door, closing it behind him. He stood, script held tightly in his hands, and took several confident steps towards the stunning woman behind the desk.

"Ms. Y/L/N," Jensen stated, "I'm Jensen Ackles and I wanted a chance to talk to you about this role," he stated, more confidently than he felt. He gingerly set the script on her desk and patiently waited for her response.

She sat back in her chair, legs crossed, her expression unchanging as she just stared at him. He felt like he was coming unglued under her gaze. Finally, she looked away, clearing her throat as she sat forward and grabbed for the script. She barely gave it a glance before she tossed it back on the desk and casually leaned back in her chair.

"No."

"N-no?" Jensen repeated quietly in shock. He expected they'd at least have a professional conversation about it. I mean, there's a certain level of courtesy to these sorts of things. Usually.

"No," she repeated, "I don't think you're a good fit for this role," she shrugged, then sat back straight, returning her attention to her computer.

Jensen needed this role. And Y/N's clear dismissal of him just…pissed him off. But what could he do? Gaping like a fish and unsure what to say when she made him feel three-feet-tall, he reluctantly retrieved the script and left the office. There had to be some way to convince her.

He just knew he was perfect for this role.

Jensen sighed as he relaxed back onto the couch, accepting the ice-cold beer Jared handed to him.

"So, how'd the meeting go?" Jared asked with barely restrained excitement. He knew his friend was perfect for the role.

"She said no," Jensen breathed out, taking a healthy gulp of his beer.

"That's it?" Jared asked with a furrowed brow.

"That's literally it," Jensen nodded, "I walked in, introduced myself, said I wanted to talk about the role. She just stared at me all cold and said 'no'," he shrugged, but Jared knew he really, really wanted this role.

"I heard she'd gotten a bit brusque after her divorce a few months ago, but I didn't realize she was letting it affect her work. That's so unlike her," Jared said, suddenly concerned. He had known and worked with Y/N a lot over his blossoming career, which is why he encouraged Jensen to talk to her, to begin with.

"Probably needs to get laid," Jensen scoffed with a roll of his eyes. He wasn't usually so callous, but he was seriously pissed.

Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in Jared's head and he flashed a grin at his friend.

"So…show her you're made for the role," he suggesting, grinning lewdly and wiggling his brows for emphasis. Jensen huffed a laugh, shaking his head at the obvious nonsense, "I'm serious," Jared elaborated, "You're right, she probably does need to get laid. And Dean Winchester is a ladies' man. So…show her how Dean would handle the situation."

Jensen listened to his friend's words, letting them settle in his mind. He wasn't so sure about the 'getting laid' part. But he could definitely walk in there, in character, and introduce her to the real Dean Winchester.

Y/N rummaged through her handbag looking for her keys as she exited the office building. She began walking the familiar steps towards where she parked her car when she saw him.

Jensen Ackles - who had visited her a few days before - was leaning against the side of the building. He had one leg propped against the building, his back leaning against the wall casually. As soon as he spotted her, a bright and boyish grin split his face. It was almost blinding.

He had a swagger about him that wasn't there before. He exuded a confidence that made him seem even bigger and broader than before - and he was no small man, to begin with.

Her eyes trailed over his attire. It was as if he'd walked out of a concept sketch: boots, jeans fitting just right, black t-shirt with an open button-down, and a worn leather jacket. As she met his eyes once more, she couldn't help clenching her thighs.

"I thought I told you that you weren't a fit for the role," Y/N managed to find her voice, surprised at its strength. When she first met Jensen, she thought he was too pretty, too heartthrob for the role of the rugged bad-boy Dean Winchester. Jensen was still handsome as ever, but now he looked rougher around the edges, more worn and world-weary in a way. Yet that bright, child-like innocence still sparkled in his eyes with a hint of mischief.

"If you give me the chance," he spoke for the first time, deepening his voice for the character, leaning into her personal space enough to be flirtatious without being pushy, "I'll show you just how good I fit," he smirked, before licking his lower lip into his mouth and biting down.

His confidence grew as he watched her, first entranced by his eyes, then staring at his mouth. Her breathing picked up a little. She had to admit, he was suddenly oozing all the confidence and sex appeal the character called for.

"You really think you're a good fit?" she purred, trailing a finger down the front of his shirt before giving him a challenging smirk, "Prove it, Dean."

"Dean doesn't work that way, Sweetheart," he leaned in teasingly, seeing that he had her hooked, neediness flickering in her eyes, "You don't get me until I get the job," he breathed out, his lips hovering over hers teasingly.

"Who says I'm convinced you're the man for the job? There's plenty of others," she tried to sound confident, but her words were breathy despite herself. It had been so long since someone made her feel this way.

"Sweetheart, there ain't no other men like me," he growled lightly, his hands wrapping around her lower back and tugging her up against him. He was worried that maybe he was pushing a little too far - getting a little too into his role - but the desperate whine she let out when he pressed her body against his let him otherwise.

"Jensen-"

"Say it," he interrupted her, his lips hovering millimeters from her skin as he ghostly trailed along her jaw and neck, his breath panting against her skin.

"Come up to the office," she breathed out, "We'll sign the contract," she offered, looking into his mesmerizing eyes, "I-I'm convinced," she swallowed hard, pulling from his grasp, "Y-you're Dean."

He smirked, staring at her lips before flickering back to her eyes, "After you," he grinned, stepping aside and gesturing for her to lead the way. She took a deep breath, gathering her bearings, before standing tall and striding back into her office.

She was all too aware of his eyes on her as she walked through the lobby of the building, and as they rode silently up in the elevator - an obvious tension building. As she heard her office door click shut behind her, she grew tense, not knowing what to expect.

Clearly, he was flirting with her before. But that was for the role. To convince her he was Dean Winchester. Well…it worked. She was most definitely convinced. She felt a little better having confidence in the fact that soon, millions of women would most likely be squirming, just like her.

His eyes remained trained on her as she readied the contract, passing it over for him to review. The minutes seemed to stretch on forever, the silence deafening.

"You know," she said as he signed the contract and passed it back to her with a winning grin, "You don't have to - I don't expect -" she sighed, shaking her head.

Jensen was surprised. She was this confident, intimidating, powerful woman. But at that moment, she was a stunningly gorgeous woman who was clearly affected by his routine. Feeling a little bold, and letting Dean guide him, Jensen stepped around the desk, slowly so she could anticipate his approach. When he reached her, he gently pulled her to her feet.

Her eyes were locked on his, wondering what he was going to do. He smiled kindly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear.

"That's a shame," he breathed out, "I was hoping I could show you how good a fit I am," he smirked devilishly.

PART 2

Forevers:

@winchesterprincessbride

@iamcmims

@roxyspearing

@reigningqueenofwords

@mogaruke

@ellen-reincarnated1967

@speakinvain

@atc74

@sterekloveaffairs

@mrs-meghan-winchester

@chook007

@growningupgeek

@goldenolaf25

@esoltis280

@hobby27

@sis-tafics

@arryn-nyxx

@x-waywardaf-x

@shann-the-artist-moon

@sandlee44

@lucywinchester2000

@emoryhemsworth

@time-travel-bouqet

@buckysbrat

@calaofnoldor

@spnbaby-67

@miraclesoflove

@lyarr24

[cookinguptales]

May i have a serious reading with whichever deck is number 4? Your timing is wonderful because I’ve been looking at tarot as an inspiration for an art piece lately :)

And your number-picking is wonderful, because artistically speaking, I think The Insect Tarot is one of the loveliest of the bunch. Even though its gilt edges always get glitter all over me hahaha.

Hmm, okay. Slightly complicated spread. Let's start at the beginning.

The Three of Pentacles is very much a "teamwork makes the dream work" card. It usually shows that you have some goal in mind that is well on its way to being realized, but you can't do it alone. Thankfully, you have at least one skill that's intrinsic to this project -- so you just have to find other people to work with who have the rest of them! This being in the past slot, it seems like you've already at least started this process. Keep at it! It's not always easy to work with others, but in this situation, it'll bear fruit! Be open to the contributions of others and enjoy the way that the whole can be greater than the sum of its parts. :)

Now, The Lovers here is reversed. This typically means that you're in conflict with those around you for some reason. This could be a whole-ass fight, or just a sense of discordance in your relationships. Maybe you and a loved one aren't seeing eye to eye, or maybe you just don't click right now. Thankfully, this is not necessarily a permanent card. In fact, I'd say that it's actually characterized by impermanence. This is a card that's saying "right now, things aren't working -- so what can we do to fix them?" I recommend taking a step back and looking at both your relationships and your priorities. Are they really serving you the way you want them to? Is there a way to fix them, or would it be better to walk away? Why do you love the people and things that you love? You might do well to remember why you entered into these relationships in the first place.

This card is one part warning, but one part opportunity. It's a call to take stock of your life and decide which parts of it you like and which parts you don't -- who you want to share it with, and how. Only you can decide these things, but I hope you manage to straighten everything out soon.

At the end, we have The High Priestess. This is a card of femininity and intuition. Sometimes this is a card that's associated with magic or psychic abilities, but I'll be honest with you -- I feel like The High Priestess is about tapping into those deepest parts of yourself and believing them. It can be hard to trust your urges and intuition, but you are not stupid. You have a wisdom that you have earned, even if you're still learning, and you're allowed to trust that part of you. Listen to yourself, listen to your heart, listen to that quiet, melancholy longing for something unknown that's inside of you. You know more than you think.

All in all, I see that you're working hard on at least one project that means a lot to you, and it's going well! That said, it's also going to involve working with people and whether it's those people or those in your personal life, there's going to be some friction. That's normal and it's natural, but it still needs to be dealt with. Thankfully, this conflict will pass, and you will come out the other side stronger for it. Trust yourself during these tough times and things will come out okay. :)