#ushijma shiratorizawa

[asunflowerana]

cinnamon - Ushijima Wakatoshi

summary: you never thought making coffee could comfort someone. but you'll do every morning for Ushijima.

w: mentions of divorce.

n/a: i love how soothing ushiwaka can be.

Bling bling

The front door’s bell rings, announcing the presence of another customer craving a good cup of coffee this morning. You just finished the first steaming jar, placing it on the counter as you lead your eyes and smile to the first client of the day. Breads are heated, pastries fresh out of the oven; lucky for them, they came just to the right place.

You’ve been working at “Beans And Milk” for nearly six months to help with your school fees. Even though it gets quite busy during the week, you enjoy your work, especially after your supervisor let you customize the drinks of the house. The environment is pleasant, the tasks are simple, the tips are fair, customers are kind — well, mostly kind. And to make it even better, the shop’s 15 minutes away from your home.

Your kindness and proactiveness made you win the respect and hearts of a lot of customers, some already calling you by your name and making small talk. You’re truly grateful for how things are turning out, but there’s this one client that, different from the others, has been intriguing you since you started working there.

His name is Ushijima Wakatoshi.

He comes every weekday at 6:30 am sharp, orders a cup of latte with one spoonful of sugar, sits at the third table on the left row by the window, and stays there for about ten minutes before leaving, sometimes with a small tip. No chatting, no sudden movements, he doesn’t even use his phone: he just sits there, watching the street through the window, mind in an unknown place. 

As you are the first to arrive on the days you work, you ended up serving him alone a lot of times. It was strange at first, being alone with one of the most famous guys in town, but over time, you got used to his quiet and serene presence. You didn’t exchange many words though, your conversation consisted of “good morning”, “thank you” and “have a good day”.

The only time you both talked more than three sentences was when you took an act of courage and questioned him about his unchanging order: a cup of latte. You regretted the moment that question came out of your mouth, dreading to lose a customer, but you were surprised with his answer.

“I like the cinnamon touch.”

You almost didn’t hold the beaming smile you wanted to show him, chest filled with enthusiasm because that touch was made by you.Your creation, something you thought would complement this regular drink with its earthy and warm flavor, making it soothing to savor. You couldn’t imagine that someone one day would acknowledge and approve your effort. Ushijima’s words hold a lot of meaning to your heart, and since that day, you started to look forward to seeing him in the mornings. 

It didn’t last long, to your disappointment.. Because of the volleyball tournament, Ushijma was away from the shop for two weeks to compete. His absence made you feel a little lonely, but you were able to support him by watching his matches on TV. Not that he could hear your cheers, but it was a nice experience to see him out of the cafe environment, doing what he’s good at and putting all of him in the game. It made him even more admirable in your eyes. 

The shock of seeing Shiratorizawa lose the tournament final game was huge. Karasuno is an amazing team, even if they weren’t known, but it was almost guaranteed that the first school would go to the nationals. You started feeling anxious, imagining what Ushijma was going through at the moment, and wondering how he was dealing with it. 

If he had someone to support him as he needs.

The next day, you did a favor to one of your work colleagues and took the afternoon shift instead. Another quiet day, with just a few customers, and by 06:00 pm, you were closing the kitchen and preparing to leave. The “closed” sign was already hanging on the door, but that didn’t stop someone from knocking. 

You frown, but walk towards the door to check who it is, hoping the person would understand that the service was done for the day. 

Your eyes widen as you gaze at your last customer. “Ushijma? I’m about to close the shop and-”

“______.” He interjects, calling you by the name. Did he know your name all this time? You try not to let your mind wander, focusing your attention on him: the dark circles under his eyes, head slightly down, eyes averting yours as if in shame. Whatever it is, it’s making him uneasy. And making him speak. 

“I know you’re closing it, but I just need a cup of latte… please. ”

You don’t hesitate to step aside, making room for him to pass and leaving your bag on a nearby table. You have one last order to make. 

A quarter of espresso, half a cup of hot milk, and a touch of powdered cinnamon: the latte is ready, the heat of the milk exhaling through the glass cup. You lend it to Ushijma, who’s sitting at his usual table. You place it in front of him and move to leave him at peace, when he slowly holds your wrist, making you almost open your mouth in shock.. 

“I… I would appreciate some company, if you’re okay with that.” He admits, a bit timid.

Trying to make Ushijma as comfortable as possible, you comply with his request, sitting on the chair in front of him . Maybe he’s like that because of what happened one day ago, or maybe something more serious happened that made him want to escape to this humble cafe instead of staying at home. Regardless of his motives, you don’t want to give him more reasons to be sad. So you do the only thing you can think to support him: you keep him company.

“I’ve been visiting this cafe since elementary.” His deep, sonorous voice echoes around the place, while he moves his gaze to the window. “My dad loves a good espresso, so he used to bring me here before taking me to school. One day, I asked him why he did the same order every single time. He said 'because they took the cinnamon from my latte”. I didn’t know what that drink was, so when we got back home, he made it just the way he likes. It was the first time I tried coffee. And one of the best moments I had with him before the divorce.

He averts his gaze to stare at you. You can see a glimpse of comfort coming from it. "I’ve been coming here for a long time, but only when you came in, the latte became the one he likes. The one that should always be. With a touch of cinnamon.” A small smile appears on his face. A smile from someone who has just got what they needed. “So thank you , ______. For reminding me of the best moments in my life, every day I come here..”

You are speechless. A gesture of affection makes a difference, but you didn’t imagine it would be through a simple preparation of coffee. If this brings Ushijma and other people a comforting feeling, though, then you won’t stop anytime soon. “You’re welcome.” It's what you offer him, with a small promise to yourself.And now, like every other morning, the two of you remain quiet, but savoring not only a drink and a tip, but each other’s presence.

© asunflowerana 2024 — all rights reserved.

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Hi I need help

I am writing a beach episode because I have to and I am going to write a beginning that works for everyone and then write what happens when you get to the beach with the different boys and I need second opinions

1. What teams will be there? Like who do you want to see and who would make the cut?

2. What boys do you want to have a beach trope with

Also feel free to send me your headcanons and what you think they would be like too!!!

Like imagine Asahi + Noya vs Daichi + Suga playing chicken against each other and Suga getting uncharacteristically competitive

I am literally so stoked pleaseeeeee interact! There are enough of you that at least a couple of you can respond and I promise I will not judge a thing!!

I have been sick so I can’t promise a timeline but good ideas make me move faster 😉😉

❤️ volleyball-dontknowher

[leiasfanaccount648]

Haikyu!! Wallpapers/Lockscreens [ 2 ]

☀️Good Morning Texts☀️

Here’s part one of the lockscreens that I’ve made! You can find the regular wallpapers without the text messages there if they’re not in this post. If there is someone else you want for when I post a third part, leave a comment or an ask!

Again, the original wallpaper/artwork is not mine! They were made by FujoshiOtaku360 on Zedge.net so credit goes to them! The only part that I own is the text messages which I made via the app Social Dummy.

[strawberry-macchiato]

what if oikawa went to shiratorizawa

Insoired by @ summersugawara and @ lemonpuree on twitter

[setterspirit]

shirabu x reader social media au.

opening his heart.

pt 1.3 never mute my gcs. >:(

[ last | next ] [ masterlist ]

updates every thursday!

taglist: @winunk @micheleinumaki @sxndmemes @that-chick212 @the-golden-jhope @eitabun @elaella1 @kac-chowsballs @shirachu @pjihoowns @briidge @tsukkisfatsimp @brokencals @kageyamasgirl @kiyoovmie

bolded and strike through means i couldnt tag. ):

don’t forget to check out the masterlist to see how you can be added to the taglist! <3

[aiko-emiko]

[semisemieita]

pov ur my gf and get these texts at 2am

[byunbqbes]

⋆｡°✩ᜊ HQ MASTERLIST

headcanons/ bulleted drabbles

♡ more than 1 hq boy:

hq boys when you cry (suna, oikawa, ushijma, bokuto, kenma)

hq boys when you cry pt 2 (atsumu, iwaizumi, akaashi, kageyama, kuroo)

what loving them feels like (iwaizumi, kuroo, akaashi, shinsuke)

hq boys + haunted house dates (kuroo, shinsuke, sugawara, atsumu, ushijima)

hq boys when you're cold (suna, ushijima, osamu, oikawa, bokuto)

when they have a crush on their deskmate (kageyama, atsumu, iwaizumi)

when they realise you're the one (osamu, akaashi, kuroo, iwaizumi, kageyama, bokuto)

high tension scenarios with hq boys

longer drabbles

♡ karasuno:

♡ nekoma:

kuroo:

hq boys meeting a beautiful fan

♡ inarizaki:

suna:

hq boys meeting a beautiful fan

atsumu:

hq boys meeting a beautiful fan pt. 2

♡ aoba johsai:

♡ shiratorizawa:

ushijima:

hq boys meeting a beautiful fan

♡ fukurodani:

akaashi:

hq boys meeting a beautiful fan pt. 2

♡ itachiyama:

sakusa:

hq boys meeting a beautiful fan pt. 2

fics (>1k)

[atsullia]

Omg I just had an ✨idea✨,, so what if trans masc reader is pining for ushi while he's dating some other boy and the boy tell's the reader that ushi will never like him bc he's trans and ushi breaks up with his current bf to apologize to the reader and pines for reader bc ushi starts to notice him and how confident he is and thinks he's uninterested bc the reader kinda ignores him after the incident but ushi confides that he thinks the reader is amazing and strong bc he's trans and they get together (sorry if this is too long 😭)

Pairing : Ushijima Wakatoshi x male reader

Warning : swearing, and kind of angsty. transphobia

Word count : 1032

You are the manager for shiratorizawa volleyball team. You were just filling up the water bottle until someone yelled making you flinch.

"Hey you!"

You looked at the person who yelled. "Uh hello?"

The person who yelled was Ushijima's boyfriend. "I'm telling you to stay away from my boyfriend," he said with a threatening tone.

"I'm the manager of the team," you replied, "I can't just-"

"Shut up bitch," he cut you off, "he will never love you. You trans freak!"

You were trying to hold back your tears. You didn't want to come inside the gym with tears in your eyes then he started saying something about you being trans that you will never find someone who will love you.

He left and you started going back to the gym. You went toward the coaches and put the water bottles on the bench.

"Did something happen?" Coach Saito asked, "it took you longer than usual."

"No," you shook your head no, "I just got distracted." Coach Saito nodded while Coach Washio yelled at Goshiki for getting distracted.

You gave the water bottle to everybody in the team. You and Semi had a nice conversation and Tendo joined in.

"Hey Y/N," Semi said, "did something happen while you were filling up the bottle?"

"No.." you said, "why do you ask?" You try your best not to sound suspicious.

"Are you sure?" Semi responded, "I heard someone yell 'shut up bitch.' And the voice came from near the water fountain."

Tendo gasped, "Semisemi said a bad word."

Semi looked at Tendo with a 'are you serious' face.

"Well Semi is right. I also heard someone yell," Tendo agreed with Semi, "and it doesn't sound like your voice."

You try to avoid the conversation with a chuckle and say no but it only makes them more worried.

Then Tendo said something making you flinch, "hmm the voice sounds familiar," Tendo said, "it kind of sounds like Ushijima's boyfriend."

You chuckled nervously and Coach Washio yelled at the team to warm up for the next match.

Practice was about to finish and you were going to leave the gym to go your dorm but you heard your name.

"Y/N."

You wished you could run away. You looked behind you to see Ushijima. "Hi Ushijima san," you said.

"I heard the conversation you, Semi, and Tendo had," Ushijima said, "did something happen with you and (Ushijima boyfriend)?"

"Nothing happened!" You panicked.

"Are you sure?" Ushijima asked. You were nervous to say anything but then you took a deep breath, "well something did happen.."

Ushijima looked at you signaling you to continue. "Your boyfriend..uh he told me that nobody will love me or something like that mostly because...nevermind."

You quickly said goodbye to Ushijima and left the gym as quickly as possible.

It was the next day. You remembered what Ushijma's boyfriend said, it was kind of haunting you. You were standing in front of the vending machine and looking for something to drink.

You heard a familiar voice say your name. You recognize the voice and slowly look at the direction of the voice.

"Eh hello.?" You said nervously, knowing who voice it is.

"I'm sorry," Ushijima's boyfriend or ex apologized. "Uh okay..?" You didn't know how to answer that. He threatened you yesterday and now he apologized? Then you saw him run away.

You were kind of confused but decided to ignore it. You finally pick a drink and lean on a wall to drink it.

"Y/N senpai!"

You lsaw Goshiki waving and sprinting to you. "Hello Goshiki san," you greeted him, "do you need something?"

"I need you to help me with my English homework if you are okay with it," Goshiki said. "Of course," you replied.

Both you guys sat on the bench and you helped him translate some of the words he was struggling with.

Someone was looking at you and Goshiki in the distance. It was Ushijima but you were so focused with helping Goshiki that you didn't see him.

You told Semi and Tendo the full thing that happened in the incident. Semi patted you on the back and told you that you will be more of a man than Ushijima ex.

While Tendo on the other hand dramatically gasped and said if anybody said something like that again, he will beat the shit out of them

You were comforted by your two best friends. You kind of felt more confident that they supported you being trans.

But you were kind of getting distance with Ushijima after that incident. It was that he did anything wrong. You were kind of scared if he knew you were trans.

....

But one day when everybody was changing and leaving while you were talking with Reon. Reon had to go and waved goodbye to you. Then Ushijima approached you.

"Y/N," Ushijima said, " why are you avoiding me?"

Your body froze as you slowly looked at him. "Uh well.." you were panicking, what were you going to answer.

"Well ever since that incident happened.." you mumbled, "actually nevermind."

You were about to leave before he held your hand. "Did something more happen in the incident?" Ushijima asked.

"Kind of.." you looked down, "well uh what your ex actually said that since I was trans nobody will love me and to avoid you.."

"I kind of felt he was right about the trans thing," you continue, "I just avoided you because I was kind of afraid about you knowing the full thing and me being trans..."

You were avoiding making eye contact with Ushijima. "So you're trans?" Ushijima asked. You nodded and stayed silent.

"I didn't notice you really pass as a guy," Ushijima said, "and I don't really care about you being trans. I think it is kind of amazing."

You felt surprised, happy? Shocked?! "Uh thank you.." you felt your cheeks heating up. "We still have time until curfew," Ushijima said, "do you want to go for a walk?"

You were surprised at his offer but accepted it.

Later Ushijima confessed to you that he has feelings for you. You accept it and now you guys are dating

[mattsvn]

CHANCE BALL LOVE!

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!reader

Genre: Meet ugly! strangers to lovers! Getting hit in the head with a volleyball!

Warnings: Blood, head injury, concussion, did I mention getting hit in the head with a volleyball? Food hehe, that's all.

WC: 2.4K

Summary: After being hit with a volleyball by the ace and U19 athlete, Ushijima Wakatoshi, you find yourself laying in the nurse's office, with a bag of ice on your head and a boy apologizing every two minutes for that terrible accident. As the times goes by, you realize that not only you were hit by a ball, but by destiny, and more important, love.

A/N: I'm so excited for this piece! This is a collab for HQHQ (now Anilysium!) The masterlist is here! I hope you like this piece! Reblogs are appreciated!

Life is made up of 90% causality and 10% coincidence.

That was what your mother used to say, with her hands covered with flour up to her elbows, while she prepared one of those delicious desserts. Possibly as a result of all her years perfecting her technique as a pastry chef, but, as in that, she considered that everything had to be planned, measured, and calculated.

On the other hand, your father was always talking about how fate made everything line up perfectly for things in his life to come in abundance, he would happily tell about the coincidences in his life, although the answer was always the same, a debate between the two of them as to what was the truth.

A skeptical pastry chef and a dreamy lawyer, a match made in heaven.

Whatever it had been, causality or causality, you never thought a hit of luck would be so...literal.

It was unusual for you to be in Shiratorizawa's volleyball gymnasium, if you had managed to get into such a prestigious high school it was because of the impeccable grades you always had, sports were not a priority.

You weren't afraid of balls, but, the way everyone was spiking the ball was about to cause you a headache, especially Ushijima Wakatoshi, the school's ace, one of the best athletes in the country.

"Why are we here, again?" you asked, your gaze wandering between the various players and the sound of balls hitting everywhere making the conversation feel distorted.

"Because they" one pointed out, to the rest of the girls looking around the court excitedly "want to see Semi Eita, the pretty boy with the grey hair" she gestured to the boy in the corner, slamming the ball to the ground unaware that they were watching.

"Ah" you replied, somewhat bored, grabbing your backpack and standing up. "Good luck with that, I have to get home early" you said, waving goodbye to everyone.

To leave, or at least, to do it in a faster way, the door that led out of the building, and through which you had to go through the court, was the best option, as it took longer to take the way inside the corridors. The only option as you made your way down the bleachers.

The only thing you heard, with your eyes glued to the ground, trying to go completely unnoticed was a "WATCH OUT!" that made you look up before you saw nothing but darkness.

"I don't know, Wakatoshi-kun, looks like you did kill her" a voice was heard in the distance, the light irritating your eyes if you tried to open them. Still, only because of your stubbornness, you tried to get up without anyone else's help.

"I don't think it's best if you stand up now" you heard a deeper voice, but you didn't know exactly where it was coming from.

"I'm fine" you whispered, placing a hand on where you assumed you had been hit with the volleyball, feeling a warm liquid staining it. It wasn't possible that a spike had cracked your forehead open, right?

Right?

"I'm fine, I have to go" as you stood up, opening your eyes, everything was spinning. An arm went around your shoulders, stopping you from falling back to the ground, firm, but at the same time gentle.

"You need to go to the infirmary, you're bleeding" the voice now seemed to be closer, a little more stable, but, no way did you feel you could even move without throwing up or passing out again, what the fuck had that hit been? Could someone hit someone that hard just with a serve?

The answer was yes, and the name, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You barely felt it when, just like that, he lifted you off the ground, although it seemed that your body felt it. A piece of something, probably cloth or gauze stopped the bleeding. You kept repeating that at least they let you walk, that you were okay, even though, clearly, you had the symptoms of a concussion.

"Are you all right, can you tell me where you are?" questioned Ushijima, entering a room. You had finally managed to open your eyes and recover from the dizziness.

"I'm fine, we're at the high school" you whispered, looking at Ushijima for the first time.

Even if you had gone to games before, you had never seen that look on Wakatoshi's face, a mixture of fear and worry, accompanied by his pale face and a barely noticeable bloodstain on his shirt.

"You can wait outside, dear boy," said the nurse, slightly terrified by what had happened.

A couple of hours passed before they managed to let you go, after calling your parents and making sure you didn't leave the building unless you were accompanied. You didn't need stitches, and that was a huge plus, but still, you left the infirmary with a gauze pad on your forehead, some candy, and a chance to take the rest of the week off to rest, which wasn't such a bad outcome.

You closed the door behind you, looking sideways at Wakatoshi on the floor, who got up almost immediately, still looking scared, even his gaze lingered for a few seconds on the patch on your forehead, which reminded him of the fact that he had accidentally hit you with a volleyball while practicing his serves.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, looking disheveled, and as if he had done nothing more than wait in the hallway until everything was in order.

"Oh, don't worry, Ushijima-san, I'm fine" you assured, but it didn't seem to be enough for him.

"I'm so sorry, let me take you home to be sure you arrive safely" he asked, with his hands behind his back and his head slightly bent down, like a child discovered stealing the candy from the counter.

"My parents are here to take me home, don't worry" you assured, glancing sideways at the door, somewhat far away. "You can walk me to the car, if you like."

"Of course" he nodded, walking beside you. Up close he looked even taller than he was, his expression calm and his gaze fixed straight ahead, though, he seemed to have a doubt that would leave his lips at any moment "Would you allow me to walk you to school tomorrow?"

You looked at him with raised eyebrows, somehow, the sound of just both of your footsteps in the hallway was comforting, soothing. It wasn't awkward, or uncomfortable. Ushijma didn't believe in awkward silences, because to him actions said more than words, and, that a question shouldn't be answered right away. So, the way to the entrance was nothing more than waiting for an honest, and safe, answer.

"I got permission to miss classes for the rest of the week, in case the concussion gets complicated, because I have to rest" you began, letting again the calm silence take center stage for a couple of seconds. "Then I won't be back until Monday, but maybe you can come for dinner tomorrow?"

"If you accept that as my apology for hurting you, then by all means" he took the door, allowing you to leave before him, there was still a bit of a walk to the main entrance. "Although, I would like to cook"

"Oh, I didn't know you cooked," you smiled, looking up at him. Ushijima looked down, and, you could swear he was smiling too. "If that's what you prefer, I'd love to."

The rest of the walk was quiet, and calm. Ushijima said goodbye to you after introducing himself to your parents, and apologizing again. In the rearview mirror you saw him standing there, waiting until he didn't see the car to go home.

He was really worried, and it would probably take him a few days to stop being scared about what had just happened. He was even willing to be scolded by the coach for missing two days of practice, just to make sure everything was in order.

Likewise, even if it would be a whole day before you saw Ushijima, he decided to call you just before he went to bed. And at lunchtime, because doing it earlier would surely have woken you up. He didn't talk too much, he let you talk about how annoying the doctors at the hospital had been when you went to check that everything was okay, and all the boring time you spent there.

He called back as soon as he got out of school, to make sure the details of the dinner were ready, he would bring the food, and some dessert, and, you would bring the drinks. You had to convince him though, otherwise he would have bought everything, he would have even brought plates and silverware from his own house.

Wakatoshi took the job of bringing the food seriously, as much as he could buy anything on the way home, he decided to make something himself. The menu was simple, yakisoba, yukari rice balls with an egg on top of each dish. As for dessert, he decided not to risk it, and preferred to buy those box cakes that had been quite popular lately, and, some condensed milk truffles that Tendou gave him as a gift as, he assured, you would love them.

Your parents could be quite reluctant to invite a boy to the house, but, after proposing the idea that you could clean up the picnic table you had in the backyard, where there was a space convenient enough for them to peek in just a little to feel safe, they agreed almost immediately.

During the afternoon, the question you wanted to ignore came out of nowhere, could that be considered a date, and should you dress for the occasion? It didn't seem like anything would match a forehead injury, or that anything would hide it. The result ended up being something you would wear if you were going out with friends, simple, and appropriate for the sunny day out.

Ushijima arrived exactly at the appointed time, and, reluctantly from your parents, you opened the door without them intruding. Looking at him, you failed to understand the nervous feeling that traveled from your heart to the tips of your fingers, making them tremble. Standing with a bag in his left hand, his hair slightly tousled and a bouquet of flowers in the other. Yet another gesture of apology, right?

"Hi, I brought some flowers" he pointed out, extending them. Your hand gently brushing his as you took them, white roses with green accents that made the bouquet look incredibly elegant.

"I already told you that you didn't have to keep apologizing, Ushijima" you mentioned, taking the flowers. "We'll eat outside then you don't need to take off your shoes, but let me go get a vase."

"You look good today" he spoke out of nowhere, making you look at him even though you were already halfway down the aisle. "You look good in those clothes" he seemed to be trying to smile, but you weren't sure. You smiled anyway, grateful for the compliment.

You returned with the bouquet, which would now serve as a decoration for the picnic. You could feel the intense gaze of your parents even if they tried to hide when they peeked, or, according to them, "watched" that everything was in order.

"Are you feeling better then?" he asked, looking at how simply decorated the picnic table was but somehow looked incredibly cozy, with perfect tree shade.

As was now usual, Wakatoshi didn't talk more than usual, at least not at first, he wanted to hear about how you were feeling, and how many days you would be out of school, although you assured him that you would be back to your activities by next Monday, and that, your friends would take care of sending you the homework you needed. Then the questions about him began.

You learned a lot, how he learned to play volleyball at a young age, his interest in cooking but his almost zero ability to make desserts. My mother could make some, you laughed, drinking some cranberry juice in a wine glass, your father's idea. He told you about his new interest in plants, and his father's work out of the country. Even some good anecdotes about the volleyball team.

Dessert was something completely different, by that time, she started to excitedly explain his last game, and what it was like to be in the Olympics. Although it wasn't as noticeable, you could tell in the way his lips curved into a slight smile as he tried to find the right words to define how he felt.

Reluctantly, and after offering to do the dishes, you said no, keeping the bento boxes with the promise that you would bring lunch on Monday for both of you, and now a wide smile on his face, even when he had to go home.

The following Monday came terribly slow, with the only thing that made it better being that Ushijima had not stopped her constant calls, the day possibly delayed by dark clouds heralding torrential rain.

"You don't have to keep apologizing anymore, look, even the wound has healed" you said, to Ushijima who was standing at the entrance, now with a box of the truffles you had liked so much, and which he had now made.

"I know. But I'd really like to walk with you at school" he smiled. "If you'll let me.

"I'd love to."

Life is made up of 80% causality and 20% chance, and, although you wouldn't want to repeat the literal hit of luck you received, you hadn't wanted it any other way.

Going to the gym because your friends wanted to see a cute boy on the volleyball team, having to leave early because you had things to do at home, leaving through the door you had to walk through on the court, getting hit in the head with a volleyball, only to end up walking to school with him, fingers barely brushing, a tender kiss on the cheek before he left.

Eating now inside the house, holding hands, a kiss on the corner of the lips. Waiting in the bleachers for practice to end, a number one jacket covering you from the rain.

The worst way to get to know each other, and, somehow, it seemed you were made for one another.

[volleyball-dontknowher]

for the 1.3k event, could we get ushijima + strawberry picking?

I LOVE THIS SOOOOO MUCH!!! THIS IS THE ENERGY I WAS LOOKING FOR AND I AM LIVING FOR IT!!!!!!!!

Ushijima + Strawberry Picking

Character + Fluff requests open!!

The spring weather was absolutely gorgeous and there was nothing you wanted more than to spend some time outside with your boyfriend Ushijima. You wanted to do something that you knew you both would like, so you spent forever scrolling through your phone looking for something to do when Ushijima said two words.

“Strawberry patch,” as he set down that week’s local paper with an advertisement for it sitting in the back. It was absolutely perfect, you were going to go strawberry picking together. You were beyond excited and Ushijima sat back and watched as you got yourself dressed up to go out with him, hoping to look both adorable and like the perfect cottage core queen. When you were done Ushijima gave you a little smile before you both got in the car and drove to the strawberry patch. When you got there Ushijima pulled a bag out of the back seat and slung it over his shoulder before locking arms with you and walking up to the little old lady sitting outside of the patch. She smiled warmly at you both as she explained the best strawberries to pick as well as the least picked parts of the patches before handing you both adorable green little baskets and sending you on your way. Instantly you were both drawn to the back corner of one of the furthest patches because there was no one there picking any strawberries and she had told you there would be several big ones back there.

When you finally got to a spot you liked you both bent down and looked at the little plants below you. “TOSHI!” You practically shouted as you saw how many bright red strawberries were sitting under the plant. He gave you a little nod before bending over and picking a giant one for you and holding it up to your lips. You took a happy bite and smiled at him before he took a bite of the strawberry as well. He finished the strawberry as you started excitedly picking strawberries and placing them into the little basket that Ushijima was holding.

He didn’t end up picking very many strawberries, instead, he watched you happily as you practically skipped up and down the rows of plants picking only the biggest ones you saw. When you found a particularly big one you loved holding it up and showing it off to Ushijima who only nodded at you as you went along your journey.

Half way through your day he pulled you out of the patch to enjoy a little picnic he had packed for the two of you. He packed cold drinks, cut up vegetables, sandwiches and little crackers that was the perfect meal. You set out a little blanket and enjoyed your meal as you talked his ear off about the absolute cutest puppy you saw last week. The entire time you were eating Ushijima couldn’t keep his eyes off of you and even took a few adorable pictures of you because you were absolutely glowing in the sunlight.

In the end you filled the basket completely and ended up eating several before you even got back to your car. On the way home you and Ushijima stopped by the store and got things to make jam, strawberry shortcakes, and other delicious desserts together with your abundance of strawberries. Toshi washed all of the strawberries for you both before putting them in a giant bowl in the kitchen for you both to enjoy. Ushijima loved the smile on your face as you took a bite of a good strawberry and with strawberry juice on your lips forced him to try a bite of what you claimed to be the fifteenth best strawberry ever. The entire next day was spent baking goods together and trying out anything crazy you could think to do with the abundance of strawberries. The strawberries were gone in the week and you couldn’t help but ask if you could go again next weekend.

[natashawritesstuff]

Ushijima x Black y/n heacannons day 1

posting these until ‘Team’ is released 

Ushijma really likes you in box braids and every time you have them in he gets his version of excited because you just look so pretty. 

Though he does like them whenever you mention you’re getting them again he has no idea what you mean 

“Babe I’m gonna do my box braids.”

“Which one are those again?”

He’ll remember the moment you have them in again but forget once they’re out 

He also helps with the takedown process 

His hands obviously aren’t the smallest so if you don’t have jumbo braids he’ll probably just slow you down but he insists on helping 

“Toshi, you can stop now.”

“No, it’ll take too long if you do it yourself and I would like to go to sleep I can lay on your chest.”

“You do realize  I undo five times the amount of braids you do right?” 

He stays silent for a moment before he goes back to the braid he’s been stuck on for three minutes, “Let me just finish this one.”

Please it takes him another ten minutes

it’s out!!

AO3

Team: Wild Card

Team: Should Have Gone to Shiratorizawa

Wattpad

Team: Wild Card

Team: Should Have Gone to Shiratorizawa

[pontevoix]

[ shock ]  –  for the sender to recoil a bit in shock at how quick the receiver latches onto them in a moment of high emotion, before returning the affections. (ushijima and tendou, high emotion of just tendou being tendou bvfhdb) (okay fair warning i'm going to send you a bunch, you by nO MEANS have to answer them all this is just a buffet for you to pick whatever you like from bvsjhbv) SENT BY @pridewon​ LANGUAGE OF HANDS PROMPT​

tendou did not ease into his interactions with ushijima. when he is fifteen & a little angry & a little desperate & hungry to be himself —- he does not go slow. when he is fifteen, tendou slides into his place on the shiratorizawa team. he isn’t a starter yet, but he is quick to establish himself as a threat. he bows the first time he started a guessing streak, &

he never goes slow. but in the beginning, he let himself disappear until he had proof that he is a worthwhile asset. it’s a nice feeling, being a threat &

then tendou snakes into the space he carves for himself. on the court, he volunteers to run extra drills. he wiggles his fingers in greetings to those he teams up with. he pretends that his stamina is unending. he mutters complaints to whoever stood beside him about drills in a joking presupposition of camaraderie. he cheers when it feels right.

with his fellow first-years, tendou interjects himself. he drums his fingers on semi’s shoulders when he creeps up from behind & reports that he watched a video of a concert in singapore that got weird, like a horror film. he presses his hands on top of leon’s head to give himself leverage to read over the other’s shoulder —-

& with ushijima ? tendou slides next to him at the cafeteria, punctuating his presence with a hip bump before settling back & marveling: ‘ man, wanna make a bet ? ‘

with time, tendou scaffolds things he already knows about himself by making himself inevitable. & by second-year? third-year? he is inevitable —

tendou’s eccentricities & impulses are to be expected. tendou settles into himself throughout high school & refuses to marry himself to a future, to not living (or playing his sport) as he wants so

tendou retires from volleyball.

tendou refuses to settle, generally speaking. in the process ?

he settles even more into himself, & — granted, he’s not the best at communication. when he moves to france, tendou loses track of time zones & how often he texts, but . . .

ushijima still gets a consistent irregular splurge of emoji-filled texts from tendou. with these messages, tendou checks in & reports films he’s seen & comments on matches that tendou watched for ushijma. they’re aging out of high school & into their careers; the fact that they are still friends seems to add validity to their friendship, as far as tendou is concerned. this does not erase the fact that their opportunities to interact in person are few —- it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other, & ushijima has just moved to europe for an international team &

tendou invites himself to visit. ushijima waits politely at the train station for tendou’s arrival, &

tendou spots ushijima’s back before ushijima spots him —- & maybe tendou behaves a little too familiarly, with a little too much disregard for boundaries because nowadays ? his boundaries are few.

so : he thinks a proper hello ( & a little bit of a jump scare ) should be the draping of arms over ushijima’s shoulders from behind. tendou props his chin on ushijima’s shoulder, & his eyes gleam with curiosity & he doesn’t

even stop to think that this type of touching is nothing that they used to do. tendou has always been tactile, but embraces were something reserved for games or jest.

tendou thinks ushijima might elbow him in surprise, but that’s fine.

he makes a popping sound with his lips & laughs finally to announce himself. ‘ did i scare you ? ‘

[wakahoeshi]

Masterlist

Haikyuu!!:

Karasuno:

3 Crows w/ A Tall S/O

Karasuno w/ An Alt gf

Yu Nishinoyya

Cute Date and Ice Pops

Fukarodani:

Bokuto

Cute Date Under The Stars

Shiratorizawa

"You remembered my favorite food" Ishi and Tendou

Wakatoshi Ushjima

Virgin Ushijma uwu

First Date HSs+Tendou

Jujutsu Kaisen:

Gojo, Megumi, Yuji missing their S/O Headcanons

JJK Characters and the way they kiss!

How do Yuji, Megumi, and Gojo cuddle?

Yuji Itatori:

Yuji Babysitting Nanami's kid Headcanons

How do, Yuji, Megumi, and Itadori cuddle?

Saturou Gojo:

Like Father Like Daughter Headcanons

Megumi Jealous of His Shikigami Headcanons

Kento Nanami:

Papa Nanami!

Ryomen Sukuna:

True fom Sukuna Smut (?)

Choso:

Taking Choso's virginity

Kuroko No Basket:

Kagami and Aomine Love Triagle (Angsty)

Jealous GoM Headcanons

Reader calling a teacher/coach attractive-

Kuroko and Akashi with a tall S/O

GOM with a chatterbox s/o

Atsushi Murasakibara:

Baking with Murasakibara

Shintarou Midorima:

Teasing Midorima in front of Shutoku

Holding hands with Midorim during sex

Midorim watching a match and seeing his s/o get hurt

Seijurou Akashi:

Akashi Confessing after the Winter Cup

Attach On Titan:

Armin Arlert:

Armin confessing atop the wall

Armin Babysitting his drunk s/o

Levi Ackerman:

Levi "interrupting" a phone call

[nonstop-haikyuu]

A Bet Worth Taking

I give you a long ass Tendou smut! Honestly, I wasn’t expecting it to turn out as long as it did but here we are so! 

Warnings: finger sucking, slight dumbification, spitting in mouth(I’m sorry Jesus Asahi), oral (both receiving), vaginal sex, fingering, dirty talk, 

Word Count: 7932

It was no secret that Tendou Satori made the Aoba Johsai team uneasy. He was one of the most unpredictable middle blockers that they had ever played, shutting down Iwaizami’s spikes with an ease that made their skin crawl. But the unease that shivered down my spine was not because of his blocking abilities. Sure, he was fantastic at his position and that did make me a tad bit nervous for my boys but that was not the thing that made me squirm at the sight of him. 

“Seriously, princess, Guess Monster?” Oikawa groaned, flopping against my bed. I covered my face at his response then whined, “It’s not like I intentionally caught feels for him, Tooru-chan. Iwa-chan, help me out here.” The dark haired ace raised his head from where he was studying Japanese and replied, “As much as I hate to say it, but Asskawa is right. Out of all the people we’ve faced, you’re hot for Tendou?” Burying my face in a pillow to hide my embarrassment, I answered, “I told you it wasn’t on purpose. At least it’s not Ushijima!” 

The two exchanged a glance above me and Oikawa hummed his agreement before he remarked, “I guess I can kind of see why you like him.” I snapped my head up and Hajime narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend, drawing out, “Oh and why is that?” I snickered at the clear jealousy in his tone, delighted that the attention had been drawn away from me a bit, then the setter explained, “You’ve seen his fingers, Iwa-chan. Not to mention, he’s known as the Guess Monster. If he can predict what we’re going to do on the court, can you imagine what he can do off the court?” 

“Exactly. Plus, he’s pretty. I don’t know, there’s just something about him that excites me.” I remarked with a shrug of my shoulders. The two shook their heads then Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa, muttering, “I don’t like the fact that you understand why she likes that bastard.�� Tooru and I shared a knowing smile then I leaned into the mound of pillows against my headboard, chirping, “And just like that, the attention has shifted away from me and my strange crush.” 

Little did I know, the attention would quickly snap back to me and my fascination with Tendou Satori in two weeks time, due to a practice match that Coach had set up with Shiratorizawa in preparation for the interhigh prelims that was quickly arriving. Oikawa and Iwaizumi quickly flanked me after our meeting finished and the setter tossed an arm over my shoulders, chirping, “This could be your chance to make your move, princess.” 

“Ugh, I don’t even have the backbone to do eye contact for longer than ten seconds. Besides, you guys don’t even like him. Why are you encouraging me?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. Iwaizumi ruffled my hair and answered, “Just cause we don’t like him on the court, doesn’t mean that we’re gonna hate him off the court. ‘Sides, we’re your best friends, we’re supposed to support you in your crushes.” I gave a small laugh and leaned into his side, muttering, “You guys are the absolute best. I don’t deserve you.” 

“Aww, Iwa-chan, she said we’re the best!” Oikawa cooed, patting the top of my head. I shook his hand off then whined, “Great, now he’s never going to lose that giant ego of his.” Hajime glanced down at me in response and stated, “He wasn’t going to lose it in the first place, you just keep praising him.” 

I scoffed then turned my attention to him, retorting, “Says his boyfriend who appeases his praise kink?” The duo paused at my remark and Iwaizumi grabbed the back of Oikawa’s shirt as he tried to run, snapping, “You told her that I praise you!?” 

“She practically lives with us, it’s not like it’s a secret, Iwa-chan! Our walls are very thin, you know that!” the setter cried out, struggling in the grasp of the ace. I laughed quietly and stared down at the gym floor. Something told me that this particular practice match would be one unlike many others. The Guess Monster was deep under my skin and he would soon find out exactly who I liked and what I wanted. 

The day had come. It was time for our practice match against Shiratorizawa. The team had gone to grab a light lunch, leaving me at the gym to help prep for score keeping and set up chairs for the coaches and me, since I was the only manager attending today. Our rivals were unsurprisingly warming up when I entered the gym. 

A few of the first years turned to see who had entered, while Semi waved and Tendou cocked his head at me. Ushijma continued to fire off spikes into the blocks of the second years and I gaped at the sound of the ball smashing into the floor. Even after all these three years of seeing that ace play, it was still a deafening sound. The power was simply unmatched by most. 

I approached their coaches and bowed in greeting, asking, “Could you direct me in the area of where the chairs are kept please?” Coach Washijou waved a hand at the question and answered, “I’ll have Tendou show you. This place is so big, if you’re not careful you’ll be halfway across campus.” My eyes widened at the statement and turned as the redhead turned in our direction, that lazy smile stretched across his face as he walked towards us, asking, “Need something, Coach?” 

“Tendou, why don’t you show our guest to where we keep the chairs? We don’t need Aoba Johsai throwing a fight when she gets gobbled up by campus.” Something unfamiliar gleamed in the middle blocker’s eyes and he cooed in a low tone, “Oh no, we couldn’t let dear mouse-chan get eaten before she sees her team get broken down again.” 

My upper lip twitched at the bait he laid out, Tendou clearly expecting me to snap back with a snide remark, but I replied, “Thank you, Tendou-kun. I appreciate you taking time out of practice to help me.” 

His eyes narrowed and for a second, it was clear that he wasn’t expecting that civilized reply then he made his way out of the gym, tossing over his shoulder, “We keep the chairs and score cards in the shed out here.” I nodded in understanding and quickly followed him, eager to prepare my team’s side of the net. 

We stepped inside of the shed then he flicked on a light as the door swung shut. I jumped at the sudden loud bang that echoed through the small building and turned as the middle blocker slid closer. In fact, he was so close, I could see the glisten of sweat on his skin and it made my mouth water. Stupid hormones. I had self restraint, dammit, so why can’t I show this bastard that?! 

“So little mouse. Cute as ever.” Tendou cooed, twisting a bandaged finger in the string of my hoodie. I gulped at the simple motion and took a small step backwards as I replied, “Tendou-kun. As forward as ever. Ready to lose today?” A low laugh filled my senses and he leaned closer, murmuring, “Someone is brave today. But alas, we’re not losing to Seijoh. Not now, not ever.” I toyed with the hem of his jersey and tilted my head to the side, asking quietly, “Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is, Guess Monster?” 

“Oho, is that a wager I hear in the distance? What’s the prize if Shiratorizawa wins and by default, I win our little bet?” Tendou asked, stepping closer. I hummed at the question and tugged him down my height, murmuring, “I’ll suck your cock. But if Seijoh wins, you’re going to finger me.” 

The middle blocker smirked down at me and replied, “That sounds like a win-win for me, mouse-chan. That interested in my fingers?” I bit my bottom lip at the question and wrapped my hand around his wrist before tugging his hand upwards. Red eyes narrowed then he groaned when I pulled two of his fingers into my mouth. 

Tendou hummed at the suction and began pushing his fingers deeper into my mouth, my eyes fluttering half shut. He smirked down at me then murmured, “That’s it, little mouse. I can’t wait to see how pretty you are when you suck me off. Bet you’re going to be flushed and gagging for more.” 

I trembled against the wall of the shed and sucked harder, desperate to wreck him before this match started. Aoba Johsai had a hell of a team, but with Tendou on top of his game, it was almost impossible to get a kill in. If I could throw him off just a bit, then maybe, our chances of winning this practice match would increase. 

The bandages around his fingers were coarse against my tongue but still so delightful as he continued to finger fuck my mouth, soft groans and curses escaping him. Tendou pulled his fingers out, grinning at the spit slick against my lips connected to his fingers, and chimed, “Well it’s a good thing I keep an extra roll of tape in here in case I leave my others at home. You grab chairs, little mouse, I’m sure your team will be here any time soon.” 

I nodded quickly and wiped my mouth with the edge of my hoodie sleeve, cursing the fact that our school colors were so light. Hurrying to collect three chairs, I jerked open the shed door, freezing. Standing  on the other side was Iwaizumi and Oikawa. The ace had his hand outstretched towards the handle and the two shared identical looks of “What the hell happened to you?” I laughed quietly and stepped out of the building, chiming, “Hey, glad you guys finally got here. Where’s my lunch, I’m starving.” 

Our captain raised a bag that had my name written in Iwa’s neat handwriting then they glanced over my shoulders to see Tendou finishing taping his fingers. The redhead met their gaze and grinned, stepping beside me and stated, “I hope you two are already to get your asses kicked today. I’ve got a lot riding on this match.” And with that, the middle blocker strolled away from us, glee pouring off him. We blinked after him then Iwaizumi whipped his head to face me, demanding, “What the hell was that?” 

“T-That was nothing, I promise!” I rushed out, my cheeks heating under the incoming interrogation. Oikawa laughed at my insistence and said, “That was definitely something. What did he mean, he’s got a lot riding on this match?” I hurried past them, the chairs banging together as I sped walked back into the gym. 

Our team was warming up, clearly prepared to take down their opponents. Internally, I was hoping that my best friends would leave the subject only until we finished warm-ups at least, but when I noticed them hovering over me as I made my way over to our side of the net, it was clear that they were not letting this go. 

“I may have made a wager with the Guess Monster?” I squeaked as I finished setting up the last chair. Their eyes widened at the admission and Iwaizumi drew in a deep breath before he asked in a low voice, “And what exactly was the wager, princess?” I glanced behind them and took notice of Tendou watching us then mumbled, “I told him if they win that I would uh…” 

“That you would what? Oikawa asked, eager for the gossip. I drew in a deep breath and hung my head before I rushed out quietly, “I would suck his dick if they win and he’d finger me if we won.” Their eyes widened to almost a comical size and I sunk into my chosen chair, burying my face in my hands as I muttered, “See, this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.” 

“Holy shit, princess, you went for gold on that.” Iwaizumi praised, surprise still sketched his features, I gulped then murmured, “Not to mention I maybe sucked on his fingers and that’s why he had to change his tape?” And with that, I opened my lunch, giving a small prayer before digging into the noodles. Iwaizumi glanced up at Oikawa who nodded and the two squeezed me into a hug, Tooru stating, “We’re so proud of you.” 

“You nerds are making this much more awkward than it needs to be. Go warm up, we don’t need either of you fucking up and getting an injury cause you’re too stupid to get ready.” I insisted, waving them away. The captain pressed a hand to his chest, pouting, “She’s as mean as you are sometimes, Iwa-chan. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’d both hate me.” The ace rolled his eyes and remarked, “Shut up, Loser-kawa, let’s kick some Shiratorizawa ass!” I cheered as they joined the team for stretches. In a matter of five minutes, this had become one of the most interesting practice matches that we would participate in. 

The teams finished their warm ups and the ref blew the whistle to wave the teams forward for their thanks. Tendou glanced to the sidelines then waved at me, clearly confident in his abilities. I knew what I was doing when he agreed to the bet, but now that we were about to start, my skin was beginning to prickle with my nerves. Aoba Johsai was one of the best, but in official matches, we’ve never beat Shiratorizawa. Practice games varied in who won, depending on who they put in for their starters. Thankfully, we managed to get serving rights and with that, Oikawa was handed the ball. 

Service aces was one of his specialties and anyone who played volleyball knew the way to control a game was to score right off the bat. If Tooru could manage to strike through their defense with his serve, we could build momentum off the point. I leaned forward, eager to watch my best friend do what he was best at, then hummed along to the crowd’s chanting. Even if it was a mere practice match, our cheer section had shown up for support. 

Oikawa smacked the ball and it propelled forward, landing in the center of their court, just in front of their libero. I grinned at the distaste on Shiratorizawa’s faces and cheered, changing Seijoh’s score to one. We could do this. We could win. 

We didn’t win. The first set Seijoh managed to win twenty five to twenty three. The second and third set, however Tendou had clearly regained his focus, blocking almost anything that Iwaizumi and Makki spiked at him. We lost by two points both sets and I couldn’t help but feel the irritation that remained after a loss. Naturally, both teams agreed to go for a second match, deciding that it would benefit all members to gain some more in-game experiences. 

I settled beside Oikawa and Iwaizumi as they dragged in deep breaths between drinking water then murmured, “I’m sorry you guys lost.” Our captain tipped his head against the wall and groaned, “I’m sorry that you lost your bet with the Guess Monster.” I glanced towards the redhead at the mention and froze when I realized that he was heading towards us. Oikawa snickered at my expression then turned to his boyfriend, asking, “Should we go? Leave these two to decide when princess needs to pay up?” 

“Would you shut it?” I hissed, swatting at him. Tendou stopped in front of me, stepping between my thighs, then he crooned, “So little mouse, what’s your plans for the weekend? Anything good?” I gripped the front of his jersey and pulled him closer, his hand slapping the wall beside my head as I replied, “The only plans I have is sucking your cock until you’re brainless.” 

Iwaizumi coughed at my boldness and Oikawa’s cheeks burned with his embarrassment then the middle blocker grinned, tilting his head to the side, as he replied, “Well, then I don’t suppose you would mind spending the weekend at my dorm?” 

“Iwa-chan, I really feel like we shouldn’t be listening to this.” Oikawa admitted, beginning to stand up. Hajime nodded in agreement then joined the rest of the team, who quickly turned away from us. Tendou stretched a hand out to me, pulling me to my feet, and he stated, “Don’t feel pressured to. We don’t even have to go through with the bet.” 

I snickered quietly and stepped closer to him, admitting, “If I don’t want to go through the bet, you’ll be the first to know. Honestly, I’m glad that you offered me to stay at your dorm because I really like you and instead of being normal, the hormones jumped out.” 

He laughed at my admission and brushed my hair away from my face, chirping, “That’s alright, I like a girl who’s straightforward with what she wants. So, after practice, you wanna get some dinner? Before we go back to my dorm?” I smiled up at him then replied, “If you keep being so nice to me, your reputation with Seijoh as badass Guess Monster is going to be ruined.” 

“Tendou, let’s go.” his coach called for the middle blocker. The redhead smirked down at me and traced my bottom lip with his thumb before he replied, “So worth it, if I get you as a girlfriend.” With that, he hurried across the gym to join his team. It was clear that it was time for the second match to begin.

Surprisingly, Seijoh managed to take both sets, winning the second match. The coaches considered doing a third match to break the tie, but after consideration, they decided to leave it at that. It was supposed to storm and no one enjoyed driving home during a thunderstorm, especially since Shiratorizawa’s students stayed on campus and they would have to walk back to their dorms. 

I grabbed my bag and Tendou waited outside of the gym while I said goodbyes to my team. Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and I paused by the doorway then the ace turned to the redhead, warning, “If you even think about hurting her, I won’t hesitate to break your fingers.” The middle blocker merely grinned and wiggled his taped fingers in Hajime’s face then replied, “I don’t intend on hurting her… at least, not in the way you’re thinking.” 

My face burned at the implication and Oikawa laughed, guiding his boyfriend away as he tossed over his shoulder, “Goodbye, princess! We’ll pick you up whenever you need us to!” 

Tendou stretched an arm out and asked, “Can I carry your bag for you, little mouse?” I glanced down at my backpack then reached it to him, murmuring, “If you don’t mind.” He smiled and tossed my bag over his shoulder seemingly without an ounce of effort then I slid my hand into his, asking quietly, “So since we won a match and you won a match, does that mean that we both won the bet?”  He held up his ID to allow the security guard to read then he stated, “She’s my guest for the weekend, friend of mine from out of town.” 

The man nodded in understanding and pushed open the door, ushering us inside. The middle blocker glanced down at me as we entered the elevator, answering, “Well, I was sort of looking forward to making you come on my fingers, so if that’s what you’re up for, sure.” There was something underlying in Tendou’s tone, his eyes darkened at my question. He was as excited as I was. 

His hand raised to my cheek and tipped my face upwards, crooning, “Why’re you shaking, little mouse? Scared? Or excited?” I bit my bottom lip at the question then slid closer, whispering, “If you keep putting your fingers so close to my mouth, I’m going to gag myself on them.” He groaned at my admission then the doors slid open, allowing us to step out. Tendou guided me to his room by my hand and murmured, “God, you’re something else, little mouse. Can’t wait to see if you can suck my cock as well as you did taking my fingers.” 

I hummed then he unlocked his dorm, urging me inside. He set my bag beside the door and asked, “Would you like something to eat? I have leftover katsudon if you’d like that.” Giving a quick nod, we entered the small kitchen, Tendou warming up the rice and pork. 

I settled against the counter and watched as he worked to make dinner for us then he flashed a lazy smile over his shoulder, cooing, “It’s hard to focus on what I’m going when you keep looking at me like you want to eat me. Or like you want me to eat you.” 

“I’m sorry.” I squeaked, burying my face in my hands. He chuckled and backed me further into the counter, those narrowed eyes dragging down my figure, replying, “Don’t be. It’s hot. If you want to skip dinner and get to dessert, I’d be more than willing.” I gave a quiet laugh and answered, “As fun as that sounds, I’m starving and I’m sure that you need to eat. You worked really hard today.” 

And the evidence was clear in the sweat that still clung to his hairline. I brushed my thumb against his cheek and slid away from him, grabbing bowls to dish the katsudon evenly. I slid him his bowl and he handed me chopsticks. We ate in silence then Tendou twisted a stray piece of hair around his taped fingers, murmuring, “I can’t wait to pull your hair and fuck that pretty mouth of yours.” I coughed as I finished the last bit of my dinner and glanced upwards, murmuring, “Oh my god.” 

“Oops, probably should’ve waited until you finished your food. Sorry, little mouse.” the redhead cooed, dragging his fingers down the side of my face. I leaned forwards and turned my head slightly, enough to catch the tips of his fingers in my mouth. He groaned then I slid the digits deeper and sucked hard, the middle blocker cooing, “Little mouse really enjoys my fingers. Soon you’ll have something even bigger in that pretty mouth of yours. Do you want that?” I pulled backwards and moaned, “Want it so bad, Tendou. Please, lemme suck your cock.” 

He stretched his clean hand out to me then led him to his room, stating, “You’re so fucking pretty. Are you ready to suck my cock, little mouse?” 

I pushed him onto the bed, reveling in the way that his eyes darkened, and I asked, “Will you take off your shirt, please?” Tendou smirked down at me then pulled his jersey over his head. I sunk to my knees and my fingers tightening in the band of his shorts. I raised an eyebrow and he nodded, urging me on. Pulling the shorts and his underwear down, his cock was revealed and my mouth watered. 

Most guys did not have a pretty dick. It was simply a fact of life. But Tendou somehow had been blessed with a dick worthy of being called pretty. A chuckle broke my thoughts and my head snapped upwards. He smirked down at me and said, “Well, thank you. Never been told that before.” My face flushed with color then I whimpered, “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.” 

“Little mouse,” Tendou sang, tangling a hand in my hair, “What a beautiful little thing you are, so eager to suck on my cock.” I tilted my head upwards and murmured, “Would you… never mind, it’s stupid and gross.” He cupped my jaw and leaned downwards, cooing, “Come on, little mouse, you can tell me anything. Go on, tell me what you want.” 

“I want you to spit in my mouth.” I rushed out, the words running together.  His eyes widened at my request then narrowed as he murmured, “Ahh, little mouse has a nasty side. Of course I’ll spit in your mouth, now open wide.” My eyes fluttered shut at the agreement and opened my mouth, trembling in anticipation. I jumped as he spat in my mouth then moaned when he ordered, “Now suck my cock, little mouse, come on.” 

Leaning forward, I slid the head of his dick into my mouth and sucked gently. Tendou’s head tilted backwards and I sunk lower, curling my tongue around the girth. He laughed quietly then pressed at the back of my head, urging, “Go on, little mouse, you can do better than that. What, do you want me to fuck your mouth instead?” I pulled off and kissed the tip, replying, “No, I’ll do better, I promise! Just, you have to give me a bit.” He smirked down at my insistence and laid backwards, replying, “Do as you please, little mouse. I’m patient.” 

I smiled up at him then began to bob down his cock, eager to please. I sunk halfway down his member and gagged a bit, earning a moan from Tendou. Delighted by the sound, I sucked harder, eager to earn more. I wrapped my hand around the base of his dick and stroked upwards to meet my lips. I continued to sink lower, drool dribbling on my fingers, and traced the thick vein with my tongue. His fingers tightened in my hair then he pushed me further down and I choked around him, moaning. 

He was unraveling beneath me and I smiled at the knowledge. His hips jerked upwards as my teeth accidentally skimmed the skin of his dick then he snarled, eyes flashing with something dark and so promising. Tendou smirked as I whimpered around him then he purred, “That’s it, little mouse. What a good little whore, sucking my cock that well. I think you could handle me fucking your mouth, if you’d open up just a bit more.” 

My eyes fluttered closed and pulled off enough to plead, “I-I can take it. I just needed to get used to it a bit. Please, please fuck my mouth, Tendou!” His hand tightened in my hair and he pushed me back onto his cock, forcing me to choke. I struggled for a moment then relaxed, ready for him to fuck my throat. He laughed through his groan and snapped his hips upwards, relishing in the gagging sounds filling the room. 

The middle blocker smirked down at me and cooed, “Oh you’re trying so hard to take all of my cock, little mouse. C’mon, choke on my dick, take it down. You gonna let me come down your throat too?” I moaned and nodded the best I could, increasing my speed. I twisted my hand at the base of his dick then sucked hard, eager for him to come in my mouth. Tendou gave a growl and kept his fingers tight in my hair, hips jerking as his orgasm shuddered through his body. 

I pulled away and his fingers snapped around my jaw, forcing my lips apart. Come dribbled down my chin then I started to swallow, only for his fingers to plunge in my mouth. My eyes widened in surprise and Tendou ordered, “Swallow. Go on, little mouse, swallow around my fingers.” Whimpering at his instruction, I gulped down at the come in my mouth and opened my mouth to prove that I had done as I was told. 

He helped me onto the bed after he settled against the headboard then urged, “Come sit on my lap, little mouse and I’ll fuck you with my fingers.” I unbuttoned my top and straddled his thighs. Tendou smiled up at me then wiggled his fingers in my face, asking, “Are you going to untape my hands, baby?” 

Nodding eagerly, I unraveled the bandages and gripped his shoulders, rocking into his lap. The redhead smirked down at me then his hand slipped underneath my skirt and he murmured, “Oh someone already lost her panties. Wonder where those are lying around at.” 

I smiled down at him then kissed the underside of his jaw, answering quietly, “They might be in my bag. But I don’t think that really matters right now, since it’s time for you to pay up on your end of our bet.” He hummed his acknowledgement and his fingers slid against my cunt, my eyes fluttering shut. Tendou chuckled in my ear then cooed, “Oh, you’re going to be so fucking beautiful when I make you beg for me to let you come on my fingers, little mouse.” 

I moaned against his jaw then rocked against his fingers as I pleaded, “Fuck me, I need your fingers, please, Tendou.”  The hand on my jaw tightened and he snapped, “Open your eyes and watch me. Come on, there’s only one way I’m touching your pretty little clit, little mouse, and that’s with you watching me.” I whined and jerked in his grasp, my eyes opening, then gasped, “Fine, they’re open, now finger me, Guess Monster.” 

He slid a finger in and I pressed my forehead against his, panting. Tendou bit his bottom lip then pumped the digit faster. He suckled at my neck and underside of my jaw then I whimpered into his shoulder as he increased the speed, his palm slapping against my clit. 

My hips jerked against his and I gripped his wrist, insisting, “Another, I want another!” He chuckled at my statement, another shoved beside the first, and snapped, “Greedy little mouse. You’re lucky that you’re so fucking pretty, otherwise I’d make you beg for it.” 

“Make me beg for it, I don’t care, just fuck me with your fingers!” I snapped, squeezing his wrist. Red eyes widened at my sudden brazenness and he pulled his fingers out. I whined at the sudden emptiness then he slammed me onto my back, warning, “You should’ve just been a good little mouse and let me build up to this. But since you wanted to be a little brat, I guess I’m just going to have to put you in your place.” Tendou pressed an arm to my hips then fucked the two fingers back into me, a squelching sound echoing the motion. 

He studied me for a moment and leaned down, tongue pressed against my clit. I cried out as he slurped at the wetness then he purred, “Oh you’re so fucking sweet, can’t wait to make you come on my tongue, little mouse.” My fingers tangled through his hair and my hips rocked upwards. 

Tendou chuckled at my desperation and sucked hard on my clit, fingers twisting to find my G-spot. I squealed at the pleasure racing through my veins then squirmed in his grasp, pleading, “Tendou, Tendou, please! I need- oh god!” 

“What was that, little mouse? I think me finger fucking you has turned you stupid. You wanna try that again?” he asked, pulling away a bit. I hated how unbothered the bastard sounded as he continued to finger me, dark eyes trained on my thighs. My legs began to tremble then Tendou smirked, lips wrapping around my clit before sucking hard, tongue flicking faster against the taunt bud. I sobbed as he shoved his fingers inside me and growled, tongue lapping at the slick pouring down his hand. 

“That’s it, be my good little mouse, come in my mouth. Do it or you’re not going for the rest of the night. I fucking mean that, you dumb little slut.” Tendou snarled, the palm of his hand slapping against my clit. I clawed at his scalp and my head slammed into the pillows as I whimpered, “Coming, gonna come, be the best for you, Tendou.” 

He smirked and cooed, “That’s right, come just for me, little mouse, just like that.” He crooked his fingers hard and my legs spasmed around his shoulders. He sucked my clit hard and teeth nipped the tender bud, drawing my orgasm out quicker than anyone had ever managed to. 

I fell limp into the pillows, chest heaving as the pleasure began to clear from my mind, then Tendou kissed at my neck tenderly, murmuring, “Good little mouse, was so good for your Guess Monster. Are you still in there?” I peeked an eye open then muttered, “Still in here. Would you fuck me?” He jerked back to study my expression and pulled his fingers out gently, careful not to overstimulate me, before he replied, “Only if you think you’re absolutely up for it.” 

“Tendou, I’ve been wanting you to fuck me since last year and if you don’t dick me down at least three times this weekend, I’ll sue for hormonal trauma.” I threatened with no venom, curling into his lap. His clean hand wrapped around my hip then he pressed the slick fingers to my mouth, ordering, “Clean them, little mouse. We’re not done yet.” I smiled down at him, satisfied that I was getting my way, then did as he asked, suckling on his fingers. 

Even without the tape, his fingers were delightful to suck on, the callouses scraping against my tongue. I sighed against the skin then I decided to try something I never considered before. I bit gently on the digits and his eyes darted towards me, a clear warning forming. His fingers began to explore my mouth, pressing against my tongue and slid on my teeth, then he yanked them out. 

I whined quietly and gripped his other wrist, eager for more of his fingers stuffed in my mouth. As I pulled his hand closer, he curled his fingers into a fist and warned, “If you keep that up, I really will want to keep my fingers in your mouth all the time. I’ll have to have you over after any game, to fuck that pretty mouth of yours. Never seen anyone have this much of an oral fixation. I wonder who’s fingers you’ve had before, little mouse. Maybe that captain’s of yours?”

I shoved Tendou onto his back then snapped, “Even if I have sucked Oikawa’s fingers, it’s in the past. But for the record, I haven’t.” He smirked at my irritation and wrapped his hands around my hips, rocking into me, then teased, “Oh little mouse is just a slut for me? That’s fucking cute, baby.” I leaned down and kissed him, grinding against his cock. His tongue pressed into my mouth then sucked hard on my bottom lip, teeth nipping the sensitive skin. 

“Tendou, will you fuck me, please?” I whimpered, jerking in his hold as his fingers slid against my pussy. He pushed against my shoulder and I fell onto the bed, eager for him to fuck me. Tendou searched in the top drawer then yanked out a couple of condoms, dumping the others on the bed. He ripped open the packet and rolled it down his length. He gave a tight squeeze around the base then asked, “Are you ready, little mouse? Ready for me to fuck that pretty pussy the way that you need?” 

“Please, please, I am… I promise, I’m ready for you to fuck me!” He chuckled in my ear and slid his dick against my cunt, delighting in the slickness. He groaned then pressed the head to my entrance before he asked, “Are you sure? We don’t have to.” I gritted my teeth together and wrapped my legs around his waist, insisting, “You know, I always thought you’d be a sadist, what with your little song that you sing on the court and all.” 

“Bold of you to assume that I’m just being cautious because I’m not prepared to show you the dark side of me.” Tendou replied, snapping his hips to bury himself in me. I gasped at the rush of pleasure and pain, gripping at his shoulders, then whimpered, “Oh that’s exactly how I imagined you.” A rough chuckle filled my ears and he murmured, “If that’s what you want, then fine, I’ll give it to you.” I smiled up at him, delighted that he was going to give me what I wanted, and he snapped his hips hard into mine, cock rubbing in places that I hadn’t been able to. 

“Tendou, oh fuck!” I cried out, nails digging into his shoulder. His eyes gleamed and he bared his teeth, drawing out, “Look at the cute little mouse, already being a whiny little slut. If you can’t handle my cock now, what makes you think that you can handle me at my darkest?” I trembled in his grasp then whimpered, “Harder, give it to me harder… please!” 

His hips drove into my own at my plea then he snarled, “You’re so tight for me, little mouse. And you sound so good too.” I moaned into his ear, clutching at his back and shoulder, and he pinched at my nipple, delighting as it hardened under his attention. 

He moved closer, his thighs pressing my own further apart, then his free hand massaged at my inner thigh. I sighed under  the ministrations and Tendou grinded against my clit before pulling out quickly. Whining at the sudden emptiness, I clung to his shoulders and gasped, “No! No,no,no,no, please!” 

He chuckled at my protests and cooed, “Oh, you’re so desperate for me, little mouse, it’s pathetic. I kinda wanna shove my fingers in your mouth and gag you on them while I fuck your cunt. Would you be okay with that?” Tendou pushed just the head into my pussy and I clenched hard around it, desperate for more. He groaned at the tightness then murmured, “Answer me. Yes or no?” 

“Yes, please, gag me with your fingers, stuff me with your fat cock, just do it, Guess Monster! For being so good at guessing, you suck at this right now.” I snapped, raising my hips to take more of his dick. His eyes gleamed at the obvious taunt then he snarled, “Fine, little mouse. You want my cock, I’ll give it to you until you’re drooling around my fingers and too stupid to count how many times I’ve made you come.” I moaned at the promise and encouraged, “Get to it then. Show me my favorite monster, huh?” 

He slammed into me, my head disrupting the pillows at the top of the bed, then he replied, “Sex isn’t something you guess at, little mouse. You can read your partner’s body language all you want but consent is the most important part. If I don’t know what you really want, how are you supposed to have fun?” I groaned at the good point he made and the pleasure beginning to build in the pit of my stomach then whined, “Dammit, I hate that you have such strong logic! Fuck, your fingers, in my mouth, please!” 

Tendou pushed two past my lips and his eyes fluttered half shut as he continued to drive his cock into me then I moaned against the skin. Never had I wanted something as bad as I wanted his fingers in my mouth. He pushed them further in to gag me and I whimpered as his free hand pushed between our hips, long fingers rubbing hard against my clit. 

I jerked in his hold and he urged, “That’s it, little mouse, that’s exactly how I want you. Are you going to be my brainless little slut? Come when I tell you to, how I tell you to? Oh what a good little mouse, I’m so lucky.” 

My lips fell open against his fingers but he continued to fuck my mouth, nearly in unison with how he drove into me. Drool split over the corner of my mouth as I whined against his fingers then he asked, “You gonna come, little mouse? Soak my cock so I can come too, won’t you?” He leaned down and teeth bit at my shoulder and collarbone as he pushed hard against my clit, clearly determined to make me come. 

I shuddered hard and moaned, “Coming, Tendou, oh god!” That familiar smile stretched across his face then he cooed, “That’s it, little mouse, oh you’re so wet and tight.” I clawed at his back as my orgasm washed over me, my eyes slamming shut with the pleasure taking my senses. Tendou drove into me harder, chasing his own high, then groaned into the marks that he left, coming. 

We curled into each other as we came to our senses then he asked, “Are you okay?” I hummed at the question and answered, “I don’t think I can feel my legs right now and my throat is sore. But honestly, I’ve never felt better.” Tendou laughed and rolled off of me, murmuring, “I was wondering… are you just wanting this to be a sex thing?” 

I glanced over at him, cupping his jaw, then replied, “There’s no way in hell this is going to be just a sex thing. I’ve been crushing on you since my second year. I don’t think I have the restraint to just let it be a sex thing.” He laughed at my honesty and chirped, “That’s good. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one pining then.” He disappeared into the bathroom after throwing away his condom then offered, “You want some water while I’m up?” I called back a “Yes please” and relaxed into the mattress while waiting for the middle blocker to return. 

He handed me a tall glass of cold water and began to wipe gently at my thighs and pussy to clean away the come then tossed it into a dirty basket. I curled into his side after finishing half of the water then he drank the rest, sighing into the empty glass. Tendou tugged his blanket over us and we relaxed into each other, sleep drawing us in, before he murmured, “Sleep tight, little mouse.” 

Morning rolled in and by the time I woke up, Tendou was already in the kitchen making breakfast. I approached him from behind, wrapping my arms around his waist then pressed my cheek to his back . He hummed and rubbed at my thigh, murmuring, “Good morning, how’d you sleep?” I cuddled closer then muttered, “So good. Thank you.” He chuckled then continued to cook with me latched to his back then we glanced towards the small living room at a few soft knocks.

“Will you go see who’s at the door?” Tendou asked as he continued to fix our breakfast. I hummed and kissed him on the shoulder before making my way to the door. I opened it and immediately froze as I recognized the face behind it. Goshiki, Tendou’s kouhai, was in the doorway, with a backpack slung over his shoulder and confusion written across his face. 

We stared at one another then Tendou joined us at the door, wrapping his arms around my waist as he leaned into me, before glancing towards our unexpected guest. I turned to him and answered, “It’s your kouhai, love.” He nodded his head briefly and chirped, “Goshiki, whatcha doing here?” 

The first year glanced between us and it was clear that he was processing our relationship then he answered, “Uh, Tendou-senpai, you told me you were going to help me study my English today.” The redhead pursed his lips at the reminder and turned to face me, asking, “Do you mind if I help him study?” I smiled then shook my head, answering, “I can help if you want! It’s no big deal and I do want to spend more time with your team.” 

“Aren’t you Seijoh’s manager? Why would you want to spend time with us?” Goshiki asked, tilting his head to the side. I turned to face the first year and answered, “Yeah, my team will always mean the most to me on the court, but since Tendou and I are going to try the whole dating thing, I want to get along with you guys.” The younger boy’s mouth fell open at the admission and I stated, “Anyway, Tendou made breakfast so why don’t you come in and get something to eat before we study?” 

I slid my hand into Tendou’s and tugged him into the kitchen, eager for food. We quickly ate dinner and after clearing the table, we settled down, prepared to help Goshiki to the best of our abilities. 

That was until Tendou began to spin the pencil he was holding in between his fingers. I bit my bottom lip, watching as he continued to explain some vocabulary to his kouhai. His eyes flickered up to me and he winked before returning to the problem at hand, like nothing had happened. My cheeks burned with the realization that he was doing this on purpose and a plan began to hatch. 

I leaned closer then allowed my hand to run over his inner thigh. Tendou stiffened at the gentle touch as I continued to explain the meaning of the word and I smirked. This could work. His long fingers tapped on the table and I began to slide my hand further into his lap. Just how far could the Guess Monster hold his composure in front of his precious kouhai? Slowly, I raked my fingers against his erection, revelling in the quiet sigh he let slip, then I asked, “Does that make sense, Goshiki? I know how hard it can be.” 

Tendou’s upper lip twitched with his impatience and the first year chirped, “It does! Thank you!” I began to move onto a new problem, squeezing at his cock, then the redhead jerked out of his seat as he rushed out, “Yes, well, now you know how to do it, why don’t you go back to your dorm and work on some vocabulary on your own, Goshiki?” We turned to face the middle blocker, confusion written across his kouhai’s expression, then he began to protest, “But Tendou-senpai, I really need-” 

“Oh I believe in you, little ace, you can do it! Call me later if you need some help!” Tendou cut in, beginning to shove the vocabulary cards in the boy’s bag. I watched with raised eyebrows, somewhat surprised that he was practically tossing the underclassman out of his dorm with no real explanation. The redhead hustled the poor boy out of the door and waved briefly before shutting it in his face. I gave a small laugh then choked up as he faced me. The look on his face was astonishingly dark, eyes narrowed. 

“What’s the matter, little mouse? You were so brave stroking my cock while you taught my little kouhai English. Where’s that boldness now?” he asked, caging me in against the table. I began to stutter out an answer, only for him to yank me into a kiss. I moaned into him, fingers tangling in his hair, then cooed, “You knew what you were doing when you spun that pencil, you monster.” 

“Mm, I’m your monster now, little mouse.” he replied, that lazy grin stretched across his face. I returned his smile and chirped, “How lucky for me.” Who knew that losing a bet could bring on such wonderful consequences? 

Unfortunately for Goshiki, however, he couldn’t look either of us  in the face for the next two weeks, due to the fact that he had left his pencil pack on the kitchen table and had entered Tendou’s dorm in hopes of getting it back. Poor boy wasn't expecting to see his senpai eating me out on that same table.

Tags: @haikyuufairy​ @sporadic-moon-gazer​

[omiscurls]

and behind us, a white sail

So! the link to this song is — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9un0ZU8HZO8

Let me explain first, though. It's a very old polish song that inspired me to write this fic (and thank my polish heritage, that as well)

Another note: I know Ushi played in Schweiden Adlers before he transfered to Orzeł Warszawa, but I changed that around for the polish team to come in first and Adlers second, so the timeline of this fic wouldn't get too long. Sorry!

the songs used later on in this are — "Stacja Warszawa" and "A wszystko to, bo ciebie kocham" I don't recommend the second one, but the first is really beautiful!

the ship for today is ushiten (ushijima wakatoshi x tendou satori) and it's going to be a little angsty this time.

word count: 14 519

summary quote: "hearing you say dumb shit like that really makes me hope you'll be looking at the same moon as me every evening"

and let's go!

**

Ever since he was little, Ushijima Wakatoshi had a bright future just waiting for him to explore it and become great. Since that moment his dad tossed a volleyball at him for the first time, his path was already going up a hill, up to greatness.

But, like they say, with every blessing there comes a curse. Due to his parents' early divorce, and his father, and only friend, moving overseas, he became very closed off and silent, keeping all his emotions to himself, often explaining that "Mother doesn't like him crying", or "Mother would be angry if he were to jump around in excitement". He often came across as intimidating and scary to his peers, causing him to never have an actual friend to talk to, besides his volleyball, and a father who seemed to be forgetting about him more and more every passing month.

He moved to the US, found another wife, had another son. Had a life without Wakatoshi, who felt left behind and alone, but what could he do, other than become the best he could and remind him that he still existed, or more importantly, still lived.

So he took his father's advice to heart, and searched the best teams he could, to measure up to the best players around, and beat them all, crush them, end them, until there was only him on the podium, weighing the golden medal down in his hand.

His early life was succesful, and all, but most of all, it was lonely. The stage of life where the child should be playing around with his friends and laugh, cry, scream, and be overall dumb, he spent with an emotionless expression.

Looking back, maybe that was what caused all of this...

Of course it wasn't easy for a little kid like him to hold it all in, even though he was naturally a reserved and composed person. Countless times had he came to his mother, tears rolling down his face, but she'd just say "Get over it, Ushijima Wakatoshi", and he'd leave, go to his room, throw himself at the materace and scream into the pillow, until he ran out of breath. Or go to the garden and spike the ball so hard his hand was all bruised the next morning. The more red it was, the less his heart weighed inside his chest.

And so, he'd stop crying to his mother. He got over it. He never understood most of the emotions he was experiencing, but whenever he was feeling funny, that means, other than normally, doesn't matter if it was in a good or bad way, he'd just go and spike, until it was time to go to bed, until his hand was all red and swollen again.

That was of course, until he got a letter, offering him a scholarship for Shiratorizawa Academy Junior High School, a place where he was planning on going anyway, but still, the letter brought up a newfound confidence within him.

He thought he was just going there to become a better player, nothing more, but all of that disappeared on the first day on the new school year. All the first years were standing in a row, listening to the teacher, when suddenly, he felt someone poking him with his elbow. He turned away, suprised, only to see a redheaded boy, with big, huge, he'd even say, eyes, looking at him with a wide grin across his lips.

"I saw you talking to Washijou-sensei before, are you on a volleyball scholarship as well?" he asked.

"Yes." Ushijima replied quietly, looking nervously at the teacher, scared of being caught while talking.

"Cool! You seem really cool, everyone else around seemed boring" the boy laughed loudly, causing Ushijima to look at him, frightened, his eyes wide open. "Oh my, relax, Mr Mature, he's not paying attention to what he's saying, either. Look. Teach! Can I go home?" he added so loudly, even raising his hand, that Ushijma felt the need to catch that hand and put his other one over his lips, so he'd stop talking. But to his suprise, the teacher truly didn't care. "See, Mr Mature?"

"My name is not Mr Mature" he complained, crossing his eyes at his chest.

"What is it then? My name's Tendou Satori, I'm your new friend! I'm assuming you don't have so many of them, do you now, Mr Mature?"

"I'm Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou Satori. No, I do not need any friends, I spend most of my time practicing, anyway."

"You do? Oh my, your life must be so sad! It's settled then, you need a friend, 'Toshi. And never call me Tendou Satori again, that's how my father does it, and I hate it."

"Noted, Tendou" Ushijima nodded, feeling something drilling through his stomach, as if he ate something bad. He wanted to smile, but didn't know why, and that scared him. Maybe it was the nickname? Wasn't it weird for that boy to shorten his first name like that two minutes after meeting him? Maybe it was. Okay, the unusual feeling must've been shame then. He immediately looked away, focusing back at what the teacher was saying.

Truth be told, Tendou was scared to say all of that. It was in fact him who had no friends and needed one, and he didn't even know why, but one look into the other thirteen-year-old's eyes was more than enough for him to feel safe, and secure, at the same time causing him to feel kind of nervous, as if...

...someone was drilling through his stomach.

And since them, him, and the first year setter, Semi Eita, would be the only people Ushijima would ever talk to. He felt some weird sort of pride whenever he'd notice Tendou looking at his spike with dreamy eyes, or telling him straight up he admired him. He never knew how to react, so he'd just ignore him, but deep down, it made him feel like on that first day again.

Something drilled through his stomach.

He'd even share a room with Tendou in the dormitory. At first it was weird, at least that's what Tendou said, because they'd never talk, due to Ushijima's tight sleeping schedule, but that stage was over after their very first practice match.

The opponent was Kiitagawa Daichi Junior High School, and their setter was a first year as well.

Ushijima was lying on his bottom bunk, eyes staring blankly into Tendou's materace above him.

"Toshi, are you obsessed with the guy, or something?" the redhead sighed, turning off the light.

"With who, Oikawa-san?"

"Yeah, unless I missed someone else who you were talking about all evening?"

"I'm not obsessed. I just don't understand how someone so talented joined such a weak school." Ushijima explained. Tendou knew it was geniuine. One of the few things he learned about his friend was that he truly didn't understand some mechanisms of poeple's psyche, not even mentioning the whole concept of friendship. And it was damn, bland obvious that Oikawa-san went there for his friend, the wing spiker.

"Seijoh isn't a weak school, Toshi"

"But Shiratorizawa is better. He should've come to Shiratorizawa."

Now, Tendou didn't know why, but that sort of hurted him. He had Semi at Shiratorizawa, Semi wasn't nearly as good as Oikawa, but he was theirs. He had HIM here, his never failing blocker, why would he want anything else?

He suddenly wished he was a setter, so he could be the one thing Wakatoshi needed.

"Maybe, maybe not. It's his life, not yours, Toshi"

And that was the first one of the countless times Ushijima Wakatoshi had broken Tendou Satori's fragile heart.

Nevertheless, he dangled his arm from the top bunk, so Wakatoshi would notice it.

"What're you doing?"

"Inviting you over"

"We live in the same room"

"Inviting you to my bunk" he explained, realizing he forgot how clueless Ushijima can get. The other boy eventually climbed the ladder and sat beside him.

"It's already time to sleep, Tendou" he said, but was cut off by skinny, light hands embracing him. He was shaken, not knowing how to react. "W-what are you doing?"

"You seemed upset. If your friend is upset, you hug them" Tendou whispered, his cheek pressed against Wakatoshi's.

After that, the bigger boy was silent for a long while, not moving at all, so Tendou asked if he was okay.

"I've just— Nobody has hugged me in a very, very long time" he explained, noticing the weird feeling in his gut increased, making him almost nauseated.

Tendou pulled back suddenly.

"Really? That's really sad, Wakatoshi. Was it weird, though?" his big eyes were glossy, and the moon shining outside the window was reflecting in them. Ushijima noticed that his eyes were really pretty like that, the hazel colour contrasting with the grey moon he'd see in the glossy coat on them.

"Yes." he responded, and Tendou felt that gut feeling turn into something more painful, until the boy added "Could you do it again?"

"Of course" he smiled, sitting closer to Wakatoshi and wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. He pressed his face into the little dump between the boy's shoulder and neck, inhaling the slight scent of the washing liquid used to wash his pijamas.

"Should I?" he started to ask awkwardly, so Satori cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah you should" he mumbled into his skin, and soon after felt the strong arms wrap themseves around his thin waist.

Wakatoshi's heart started to race at once, him not knowing the reason. He felt complete, holding someone like that. Or did he feel complete holding TENDOU like that? That riddle was impossible for his brain to solve, so he let it slight, enjoying the funny warm feeling in his chest. Was this how having friends felt? Maybe it wasn't so bad.

They'd sit there like that, both not knowing whether it was weird, or comforting, or both, or neither, but they didn't pull back.

"We should really sleep" Tendou finally said, but got no response, so he slowly broke off the embrace, noticing how Ushijima's head started to fall without the support of his shoulders. "Oh, unless you're already sleeping" he laughed quietly "I guess you'd be all grumpy if I woke you up now. Nighty night then, Toshi" he whispered, putting the boy's body in his sheets, and climbing down to lay in his friend's bunk instead.

The weird drilling stopped, he thought. He only felt warmth flooding his heart right then.

It never happened again, though.

three years later

Even someone as dense as Wakatoshi Ushijima would get used to a person after living with them for three whole years. It was now the last days of Junior High, and him and Tendou already signed the papers to attend Shiratorizawa Academy's High School after summer break, leaving their signatures on the "continue living with your roommate" as well.

Wakatoshi was coming back to their said room after evening practice, tired as ever, his legs barely working.

"Ushijima-kun, are you and Tendou playing cards with us today?" he heard Semi at the other end of the hall.

"I'll ask him, but if he was too sick to go to practice, then I'm not sure if he'll be willing to do that, Semi" he explained, and went inside his room after noticing the other boy nod. "Tendou, Semi is asking—" he stopped when he heard sobs coming from the top bunk. "Tendou?"

Then the sobs stopped. Ushijima's drilling feeling came back stronger as ever, when he noticed Tendou's delicate face looking at him from above, his eyes red and puffy, and cheeks wet, but damn, he thought, why does he suddenly look so different?

He didn't know what it was, but it was as if he was reading an interesting novel and he didn't want to look away from it even for a second, not to miss any detail of the story. It was the same exact feeling.

"Wakatoshi" he stated, rolling back closer to the wall, so he wouldn't have to face his friend.

"Did something happen to you, Tendou?" Wakatoshi asked. He knew that Tendou wasn't really the person to cry very often, he always lifted up other people's spirits with his never ending happiness and weird sense of humour.

"No" the boy mumbled, but turned around when he felt movement on the ladder leading to his bed. "What're you doing?" he asked, freaked out.

"I'm coming over to see you" he stated "Because you're upset, and friends need a hug when they're upset"

"How do you know I'm upset?"

"Please, Satori, I might be clueless, as you often describe it, but I'm not dumb"

That made him laugh, and although Ushijima didn't know why, it somehow made him happy.

He then proceeded to hug his best friend, feeling his entire body shake, as he held his waist, and his shirt becoming more wet every passing second.

"Why are you crying?" he asked so straightforwardly and honestly, it almost pissed Tendou off.

"Well, Ushijima, seems like the only thing k-keeping me in this country is f-fading away" he mumbled, holding onto the material of Wakatoshi's sweatshirt.

"I'm sorry if I'm making you say something uncomfortable, but I don't seem to understand" he was feeling very uneasy admitting that, but the drilling feeling in his stomach wasn't going away, and he felt it in his gut that he had to do SOMETHING about Tendou's mood, because it was making him feel bad as well. He didn't know how, but these were the facts.

He laughed again.

"See, Toshi, you've met my little sister. She's tiny, she's cute, and she adores chocolate. Those are the three ways to describe her the best. She's the apple of my eye, and well, she has me wrapped around her finger, I'd do anything to make her happy."

A string of jealousy was tying itself around Ushijima's heart. He never had that, and he suddenly wished someone would talk about him like that, too. He'd never admit it, but he couldn't help that feeling.

"But the fourth way to describe her, well, she's also... terribly ill, Wakatoshi. For a year now she can't eat any candy, her beloved chocolate included, due to her condition, and I hate how depressed that makes her, but today, today my mom has informed me it got worse. I— no, I don't want to keep talking, I'm sorry" he said, pulling away from his friend, but he catched his arm before he could do that.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Satori. Altough, I don't think I know what to say."

I wish I were you, he thought, then I would know exactly how to cheer you up. And I hate seeing you like this.

"Is there anything we could do to help?"

Satori lifted his eyes, suddenly lighting up. Did he just use the word we?

"I wish" he responded, shaking his head "But they moved her to an intensive care hospital in Tokyo, without letting me talk to her first. Besides, she's sleeping constantly."

"That's actually rude of your parents"

"No, no it's not, she needed to be taken there right away, or else her life would be on the line. I might be a selfish person, Wakatoshi, but I'm not letting it affect my precious cinnamon roll in any way"

"Cinnamon roll?" he asked, visibly confused, making Tendou giggle again.

"It's how you call a person you love, who is too precious for this fucked up world that we're living in" he explained.

"Oh, okay" he nodded, then sitting silently for a while. "Tendou? How would you like it if we went out to grab chocolate ice-cream? You love them, as well, right?"

Satori's eyes lit up even more.

"How on earth did you remember that? Also, it's past bedtime, we can't do that" he complained.

"I pay attention to details. And wasn't that you who told me that rules have to be broken sometimes?" Wakatoshi grinned, almost making Tendou loose it.

"I might actually scream right now"

"No don't, it will give us away, are you stupid, Tendou?" Ushijima responded, completely serious.

Tendou bursted out laughing.

"I love how dumb you are, Toshi" he said, not even paying attention to his words.

I love watching you laugh, the other boy thought, but didn't say it.

His mother always told him to go away when he told her he loved her. He didn't want Tendou to go away as well.

They sneaked out that night, it was obviously only to go to the nearest convinience store, which was just outside the campus, but still, it made Ushijima super nervous, and Tendou, on the other hand, was amused.

They sat beside the store, their backs against the wall, eating chocolate ice cream, despite it being winter, and the temperature below zero, they were freezing in only their hoodies, but the magic of the moment somehow prevented them from going back to their room.

"What did you mean when you said she is the only thing that keeps you in this country?" Ushijima asked, out of the blue.

Tendou was too suprised to respond, at first.

"Well, I plan on leaving Japan some day, I'd like to study abroad, maybe in France, and do something romantic for a living, you know? Maybe I'll meet an actress and have a fling, maybe not, that doesn't concern me at all, but I'll have a little flat just in the right distance from the city centre in Paris, I'll be living upstairs from some kind of an alcoholic, or another addict, and I'll sit by my window every evening, watching the moon rise, shouting at the kids in love on the street to piss off and go home already" he laughed.

This made Ushijima really sad, and he didn't know why. Of course Tendou had plans, what was he assuming before he heard that? That he was some kind of a sidekick designed just for him, that was going to stay by his side forever?

Don't tell him you're sad, don't do it, he's going to be angry, just like mom, he's going to flip out, and curse at you, and leave you, and you'll be alone again.

Never once in the past three years had Ushijima wanted to spike a ball so bad, not even once. Talking to Tendou was becoming his new copying mechanism, but there he was, all alone with his emotions, impossible to understand. He decided to clench his fist as hard as he could, so he wouldn't burst out complaining about how he doesn't want Tendou to leave.

Little did he know, it was percisely what Satori needed to hear right then.

"How do you know you're going to be living upstairs from an alcoholic?" he only asked, making Tendou shake his head in disbelief.

"Oh, Ushi, hearing you say dumb shit like that really makes me hope you'll be looking at the same moon as me every evening" he whispered, just loudly enough for the boy to hear it. His heart rate went up, and somehow his sadness started to fade away.

Only then did he realize how hard he was pinching his nails into his skin, so he eventually let go, sighing with relief.

"I will" he added, just as silently, and stared into the starry sky.

Altough I wish we'd be looking at it together, they both thought.

**

Tendou was jumping in excitement, beside Ushijima, when the third years stood around them, ready to declare who the next captain was going to be.

"I'm going to break off the tradition by doing this" said the ruling captain, thus resigning from his position "But your next captain will be starting his second year, not third."

A gasp of suprise went through the crowd, but everybody anticipated it.

"Ushijima Wakatoshi. I hereby resign from my position, leaving the team in your hands. Lead them to Shiratorizawa's next big victory, please" he said, bowing slightly. Ushijima bowed as well.

"Thank you, captain. I'll do my best" he said bluntly, making the older boy sigh, kinda like he was regretting his decision already. A couple of moments have passed, and the graduates left, truly leaving Ushijima in charge.

"Alright, Ushijima-kun, here are the first years promoted to your first squad." Washijou-sensei pointed to group of nervous looking kids. He took a list from his pocket and started reading the surnames out loud.

"Oh my, Toshi, do you remember when he did that with us?" Satori whispered energically right beside his ear.

"Why wouldn't I?"

He noticed a boy staring at him from the Junior High practice. He had black haired, cut into an interesting hairstyle, and a jelous look in his eyes. He intrigued him, and Tendou noticed that, puting, because my oh my, how dared his Wakatoshi not pay attention to his side commentary.

"Shirabu Kenjiro" the coach said, and a shy looking boy stepped out of the crowd, bowing slightly at Ushijima.

"What position do you play in, Shirabu?" Wakatoshi asked, and Tendou knew he ment it to be gentle, but it came out so harsh, the kid looked even more scared.

"Setter" the boy responded. Both Tendou and Ushijima glanced over at Semi, who was obviously pouting.

"Poor Semi-Semi" the redhead laughed, but shutted up after he got poked with an elbow.

"Welcome to Shiratorizawa Academy Team then, Shirabu" the newly elected captain responded, and the blond boy nodded frantically, walking over to them.

"Kawanishi Taichi" Washijou continued.

"Middle blocker, captain" the boy managed to say before Wakatoshi. He was obviously suprised by that, and Tendou had the time of his life laughing at him. That was until the taller boy glanced over at him and said:

"Well, I guess Tendou-san will be happy to guide you through it, Kawanishi"

"How formal, Captain Ushijima" the redhead pouted, looking away from him, and then looking back upon hearing Ushi chuckle.

Was he... satisfied, about making him loose his words?

That little bastard really grew up since they'd first met.

"I look forward to working with you for the next two years. I know you're great at volleyball, if Sensei says so, then I guess the only thing I can say to you is, give it your best. That's what this school is all about"

"That's the least inspiring speach I've ever heard in my entire life" Tendou laughed, but Ushijima didn't seem to care.

Later that evening he informed him that his friend at Seijoh texted him that Oikawa was also elected captain.

"Great, I'd elect him, too" Ushijima only responded.

Tendou didn't need to know anything else to understand what was happening in his brain by then. You wish he'd be your setter instead of their captain, I know. You wish you had the people skills he has, and my comment about your speech will now keep you awake for half the night. Because, no matter what I do, you feel like you lack that in your life. And I'll never be able to get it for you. Nor the skill, nor Oikawa Tooru, nor could I be the setter you wish you'd have. All I can do is be your friend, I guess, but is that enough for me? What if I want to be more, Wakatoshi?

"Never change, you adorable little dumbass" he only whispered, still scrolling through his phone.

"Why would I?" Ushijima responded, much to Tendou's suprise. Was the whisper louder than anticipated?

He failed to answer that question, because when he glanced over at Ushijima, he was getting ready to go shower, and was right in the middle of taking of his shirt. His back muscles were all worked up, and Tendou came to a sudden realization, which caused him to cover his mouth with one hand and stare at the ceiling.

"So?"

I'm so attracted to you.

"Nothing, it just slipped"

**

"Oh my god, Shirabu, you're finding context where there's literally no context. They're just best friends! Ushijima is the embodiment of straight! He's as straight as a ruler!" Semi whispered to the younger setter, who was staring at him as if he wanted to kill him.

"Are you blind, Semi? No, truly, do you need glasses? I'm geniuenly asking, cause there might be something seriously wrong with your eyes if you can't even see something as OBVIOUS as this! Look at Tendou, just look! He looks at Ushijima-san like he's his entire world!" Shirabu pointed to the redhead older blocker, but Eita just shook his head, violently grasping the younger boy's hand and pulling it back down.

"You're obvious Shirabu, stop or Tendou will hear you. And speak respectfully about him, his your senpai" he added, scolding the setter. He enjoyed doing that, it made him feel a little bit more important, after having his authority undermined by Washijou-sensei promoting Shirabu to the first squad.

"Is any of you going to start tossing to the spikers, or did you come to practice to chat?" they heard a deep voice behind them, their eyes going wide as they turned around slowly to face their captain.

"Um—" Semi tried to explain himself, but Shirabu beat him to it, bowing to Wakatoshi.

"We're sorry captain, we're on it"

Ushijima looked at him with slight suprise, although, if Semi didn't know him for five years, he wouldn't have guessed it was suprise.

"I was just asking" he said, his voice as steady and still as normally, and Eita almost found it funny, how Shirabu couldn't seem to get the hang of understanding Ushijima's emotions.

The kid just ran towards the net, and Semi followed him, not wanting to loose to the little first year again. They started tossing to various spikers, and something ached inside of Semi's chest when he noticed Wakatoshi jumping to hit Shirabu's toss, then nodding to him, letting him know it was a good one. It had been some time then since the last practice Ushijima spiked one of his tosses.

"Alright, this is getting boring" The captain said, going over to his water bottle. "Let's have a match, three on three" he suggested, noticing the team already forming a row in front of him. "Shirabu, Semi, choose your teams"

The boys started to choose, with one condition, that Ushijima and Tendou cannot be on one team, since the other one wouldn't get a single point that way. Satori ended up being with Shirabu and Leon, and Ushijima with Semi and  Yunohama. It was all going really well, the match was pretty intense, considering there were to awesome spikers playing in each of the teams.

"One step ahead of you, Toshi!" Tendou laughed, falling to his knees after succesfully blocking Ushijima.

"Are you okay, though?" the boy asked, noticing how Satori was holding his delicate wrists, biting his lower lip.

"Every day when I get to block you is a day when I'm a thousand times more than okay" he only said, getting back up. Wakatoshi noticed that his friend was in a really great mood that day, smiling constantly, making fun of everyone around him, jumping in excitement every now and then. It was kind of cute.

"Damn, Tendou, besides seeming like one, you really are a monster at blocking, as well" Leon said, not really minding his words, walking over to drink some water. Tendou's eyes widened, looking at the boy with disgust, shock not letting him utter a word. He glanced over at Wakatoshi, who didn't seem to mind the comment. Everyone around was kind of concerned, but not really, reserved from the situation.

Tendou stopped counting which broken heart that was, but well, the number was increasing.

"Well then, Leon" he said bitterly "I guess you're lucky you're not the hero, because then you'd be facing me, instead of hiding behind my back all the time" his hands quivered, and a shiver ran down his spine, as he began walking out of the gym.

"Tendou?" Ushijima shouted after him, visibly confused, but Tendou didn't care enough to stop. What was he thinking, that he'd defend him? That clueless little brain child didn't even understand how much was wrong with that comment, using the nickname his opponents would give Tendou for years, as a form of, he didn't even know, praise? Surely Leon didn't mean it, but still, he didn't care. It hurted him, more than it should, and he already felt the shocked looks on his back.

He acted like a drama queen, but so what.

"I'm gonna grab some bandages from the infirmary, Ushijima. My fingers hurt" he said coldly, and using his surname, which he didn't do very often.  

Wakatoshi was staring at the door Tendou shutted behind him, the team standing silently around him.

"Should I go with him, captain?" Shirabu asked, but he shook his head "no" in response.

"He'll be fine on his own. Keep practicing"

Ushijima really wanted to believe that, but he noticed the emotionless expression on his best friend's face, and was concerned himself. He couldn't seem to focus for the rest of practice, which was unusual for him.

"Is Tendou-san coming back?" they kept asking him, and it pissed him off more every time, but he'd only spike harder, the rest of the team shocked as the ball bouncing back from the floor and going towards the stands with insane speed. Nobody even tried to recieve them, because they all cherished their fingers  and arms to much to injure them like that.

It wasn't Tendou that Wakatoshi was angry at, it wasn't Leon, even, it was himself. The first one of many times his reserved nature seemed to be his enemy, not friend. He failed to help Tendou, and he understood his fault, which made it a thousand times worse.

After the practice had ended, Satori wasn't in their room.

"Tendou? Are you there?" Wakatoshi asked, but even after checking the top bunk, there was no place in the tiny room left for his friend to hide in. He checked the bathroom, but still, no sign of the redhead. He checked the infirmary, he checked every opened classroom, the gym, every locker room, bathroom, but he was nowhere to be found.

He knocked on Semi's door.

"Ushi? What's up?" the boy asked, suprised, if Ushijima wanted something he could've asked literally fifteen minutes earlier, after practice.

"Is Tendou with you?" he heard, his team captain's voice shaking just a little bit, his hands clenched in fists.

"No, I'm afraid not. Isn't he in your room?"

Well, if I'm asking, then he surely fucking isn't, you idiot.

"No."

"Well, call him then" Semi stated, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed at chest.

He nodded and did just that, three times, in fact, but there was no response.

"Wait up" Eita said, disappearing into his room, and coming back, wearing his Shiratorizawa hoodie "Let's search up together, we'll find him sooner"

Wakatoshi agreed, secretly appreciating the help. He didn't go back for his hoodie, there was no time for that, so he just left in his T-shirt.

"Alright, where  could he go?" Semi asked, when they left Shiratorizawa's gates. Ushijima had no idea at first, Miyagi wasn't such a small city, and Tendou, with his personality, could even be out of town by now. He could go to Tokyo to see his sister, Wakatoshi thought, but he remembered they had a test the next morning, and Tendou was a foreign languages ace among their year, so he definitely wouldn't miss it.

No, don't think what you'd do. Satori has different priorities than you.

"Honestly, anywhere." he responded. Eita was shocked Wakatoshi used such an unofficial figure of speech, but he didn't complain, his teammmate was stressed, after all.

"Aight, let's split up then. You'll go to all his favorite places, and I'll check everywhere near the school. But keep your phone ring at high volume, so we wouldn't miss each other's calls.

Ushijima nodded and left. Where could he want to go, alone, in the dark? Only after a couple of minutes of walking had he felt his hands hurt, and noticed the bloody marks on the inside of his hands. He was really stressed. Then, a sudden memory hit him, of Tendou leading him to the cliffs, just next to the forest in Miyagi, to take a walk when he was stressing about their first national championship. He started running there, landscape around him blending into one mix, as he was speeding past the bridge, the houses, bus stops, stores, and eventually the trees. He only stopped once he felt railings forbidding people to jump into the wavy sea below. He looked around him.

"Tendou?" he shouted, but there was no response. He started walking around, looking behind every tree, and at every bench.

"Satori, come on, if you're there, then come out already. Let's go home" he sighed, his worriness building up. Then he remembered, his friend didn't like to sit where everyone else used to, he like to jump over the fence and sit on one of the rocks, often teasing him he was going to fall.

The drilling feeling in his stomach seemed not to let him straighten up, and he had to force his insides to stay still, while ha quickly glanced at the sea and rocks below him, but, to his relief, there was no sight of Tendou there, as well.

He decided to check somewhere else, and raced out of the forest. He was so caught up in searching, his mind was already going to the darkest scenarios, and he didn't even noticed when he bumped into someone.  

"Ushiwaka-chan?" he heard a soft, yet prideful voice in front of him, and shook his head before seeing Tooru Oikawa, in the flash.

"Oikawa." he responded "What're you doing here? I don't have time for whatever salty comment you have up your sleeve right now." Upon hearing that, the brown haired boy's eyebrows rose in suprise.

"Well, Ushiwaka, I live here. Can't I enter my house in peace? Plus, I don't have any. Are you looking for Mr Redhead?" he asked, a concerned look in his eyes. Ushijima was honestly shocked. Why would he care? He hated them both.

Oh, right, they were near Seijoh. It was possible for Oikawa to live here. Wakatoshi noticed AobaJohsai's captain didn't look so good himself, but he was not the one to listen to his problems. He had his own problem he needed to solve right away.

"Yes, and I'm afraid I don't have a second to waste."

"Well, he was on my bus stop. I only asked because it seemed unusual for any of you to be here. He was heading for the city centre."

City centre? Now, thanks to his worst enemy, Wakatoshi had an idea of where Tendou was, and he was stupid not to think of that earlier.

"Thanks, Oikawa" he said, staring blankly at the bus stop, around three hundred metres down the street.

"No problem, I guess. Say hi to him from me, he's the only one of you idiots that I don't hate" he said, closing the fence gate behind him, and walking towards his house's door, not even looking at him anymore.

"Alright" Ushijima responded, only half listening to what Tooru was saying.

As he was waiting for the same bus Tendou was, only a couple of minutes earlier, he still tried to get in touch with him.

Wakatoshi Ushijima, 20:44

Please, Tendou, respond

Wakatoshi Ushijima 20:46

I'm sorry for what Leon had said. Come back so we can talk.

There was no sign from the other boy, the text weren't even on delievered, only on sent.

He was so up in his thoughts, he barely noticed it was already his stop to get off on. He raced to the shop he had in mind, and noticed the lady behind the counter already cleaning the place up. He still had half an hour before they'd close.

He entered, and the small bell above the door rang. The lady looked up, and smiled gently at a possible new customer.

Wakatoshi looked around him, but to his suprise, Tendou wasn't there. He walked up to the counter.

"Hello, sir, what can I get you today?" the lady said, smiling politely.

"Hello, was a boy, around my height, with red hair here before me?" he asked directly, and she blinked at the sincerity of his request.

"I'm afraid not, I haven't seen anyone like that." she answered apologetically.

At that point, Ushijima honestly felt like crying. How, how on earth wasn't he anywhere? Where did he go? Did he really know him that little?

He noticed Tendou's favorite cookies still on the counter. They were, of course, the chocolate ones, with spots of white chocolate.

"Can I have ten of these?" he sighed, pointing to the sweets. The lady nodded, handed the bag over to the boy, and received the money.

"Goodnight, miss" he said upon leaving, and she smiled again, waving at him.

How could she be smiling? How could anyone possibly be smiling, when Tendou was missing? And on top of that, it was partly Ushijima's fault?

He felt dizzy from all the emotions hiding behind his bland face. There was no one around, and he decided to walk back to Shiratorizawa, instead of taking a bus. He called Tendou again, and even left a voicemail.

"Tendou Satori. Wherever you are, please, come back, you're making us all worried. You can't just—" and at that, he ended the call, noticing his voice break, for the first time in forever. "You can't just leave like that and not say anything, you idiot" he whispered to himself, feeling a gulp in his throat.

He leaned against the shop's wall, hitting it with his fist. It hurted slightly, but didn't help.

"Tendou!" he screamed "Are you there?" he waited a good minute, wanting a response desperately, but nobody showed up.

His phone rang, it was Semi.

"Found him yet?"

"No"

"He's not here, either. We need to head back though, Ushi, or we'll get detention" Semi stated, and Ushijima was honestly pissed at how laid back he sounded. But he knew the setter was right. "Do you want to report his missing to the principal's office?" he then asked.

Right. Right, this was a serious issue. On one hand, if they reported it, the principal could start an official search, and Tendou would be home in no time, but on the other, they'd probably expell him, and that couldn't happen. Ushijima wouldn't let it.

"No." he only said, and hang up.

It was a long walk back to Shiratorizawa, and Wakatoshi hated every second of it. He was coming back to an empty room, with no Tendou in it, without any clue about where he could be now, wether he was safe or not, anything.

He didn't even try to sneak through so the cameras wouldn't catch him. He didn't care if he'd get detention or not. That wasn't important at all.

He slided his card through the lock of his door, and was welcomed by the cold room, which would be just right since he didn't have the time to turn on the radiator.

"Tendou...?" he whispered, somehow hoping he'd be there, even though he had eyes on his entry card, still laying on the table, since Wakatoshi was the one to lock the door before practice.

He noticed all of Satori's stuff still there. His phone, with no battery, his wallet, his ID, everything. Like he vanished.

Too tired to even take his clothes of, he climbed to the top bunk, and buried his face in Tendou's pillow, inhaling what was left of the boy's scent. He couldn't fall asleep at all, even though he was too tired to lift his eyelids. How could he sleep in a situation like this?

He realized, he wouldn't be so worried if it was Semi, or Leon, or Shirabu, or anyone else. Of course he'd be concerned, of course he'd search for them, he was their captain and cared for them all, but it wouldn't cause such a pain in his gut. It wouldn't make him want to rip his heart out so he'd stop feeling so painfully lonely and worried.

But they were all his friends, as well. Why was it different with Tendou? Was it because he was his roommate?  Maybe, but something was telling him that wasn't the case. The drilling feeling became more and more impossible to ignore as he kept thinking about what he was feeling towards Tendou.

A warm feeling flooded his senses when he thought about his smile, and he instantly got worried when he remembered he was missing. What did that mean?

A new riddle for him to remain unsolved for years to come.

He somehow got through the night without sleeping even for a blink, until it was almost six, hence, the hour he'd get up, when he heard a knock on the door. It was still a night hour at Shiratorizawa's campus and no students were allowed to leave their rooms, so he was very suprised, but mumbled a tired "Coming" and struggled to get out of bed.

He walked up to the door, and opened it, only to see Tendou, his hoodie a bit dirty, and hair in a mess, but a grin on his face.

"Morning, Toshi" he chuckled, upon seeing the truly shocked expression on his best friend's face.

He wanted to get inside, but Ushijima didn't allow it, suddenly pulling him into a tight hug. Satori could barely breathe, but managed to keep laughing.

"What's up, big guy? Why're you suddenly so emotional?" he asked, much to they boy's suprise. He stayed silent. That was weird for Tendou. No matter how angry he could be, he'd never ignore a direct question, because he didn't get the concept of a rhetorical one. That was a lesson Satori learned the hard way a couple of years earlier. "Wakatoshi? You there?"

Still no answer?

That's weird.

"You idiot" he heard a slight whisper, almost inaudiable. "You fucking idiot"

That was officially the first time ever for Tendou to hear Ushijima use a swear word.

He suddenly felt something dropping on his neck. Was he... nah, Ushijima Wakatoshi would never cry.

But as his entire body began to tremble, it was painfully obvious that he was, in fact, crying.

"Hey, hey" Tendou said in a calming way, moving one step into the room, to close the door behind him. "Are you crying?"

Oh shit, Ushijima realized, he was. Was Tendou going to be mad now? Was he going to think less of him? Was he going to consider him weak and leave? Again?

"No" he added loudly, turning away, and walking deeper into the room, wiping his cheeks.

"Sure" Satori said, a wide smile on his lips. Did he really make Ushijima loose his composure? Well, that was a first.

"Where were you?" he asked, none of his previous emotions present anymore.

"Places"

"Satori Tendou!" he shouted slightly, and Tendou flinched at the sound of his full name.

"Alright, shush, it's still the middle of the night for some people. I was on the train station. I wanted to go to Tokyo to see my sister, but I forgot my wallet, and then I didn't want to come back, because you would be mad at me, everyone would consider me a drama queen, and I'd probably get detention for coming in late." he epxlained carefully, minding his every word, as he made Ushijima seat beside him on his bed.

He knew he hadn't calm down, he was still shaken, but for some silly reason he decided to keep it all in, even though him and Tendou knew each other for five whole years, and shouldn't have to be so careful around each other. It was crazy how he was closer to Wakatoshi than anyone on this world, and still, he still couldn't be the one person that would get him to completely open up.

He knew it was a rare and possibly the only occassion he had cried in front of someone, even if it was for thirty seconds, and even if he denied it all a moment later, still, it was great. It was an improvement Tendou hoped for all those years, although there was so much more he had to learn about his friend to understand him completely. It was never a hard thing for him to do, understand people's motives, but with this man, with him everything was suddenly so difficult and different.

He was angry with himself for disappearing like that, he didn't think about how much it would affect Ushijima, even though he claimed to know him the best.

"Why would you go there?" Wakatoshi asked silently.

"Well, I needed a reminder that I'm not really as scary and dangerous as people perceive me. And she's such a little angel, if she loves me, then I must be a nice person, right? If I got someone so innocent and good to love me, then how could I be bad? It's selfish, I know, but it seemed like a good idea at the time" he stared at the sheets between them, concentrating solely on their white colour, nothing else.

"I could've told you the same" he mumbled "If only you'd wait, I would tell you the same. I know I'm nothing like your little sister, but I still consider you the best person I've met. The best part of my life." he said, standing up, like it was nothing, and grabbing a change of clothes. He went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him, turning on the shower, so Tendou wouldn't hear him sigh out loud. He looked once more at the bloody trail on his hands, and noticed his shoulders were tense all this time, and now he could let it go, all at once.

He felt more tired than he ever did before.

Tendou sat on his bed for a good five minutes, tears silently flowing down his face, his mind unable to comprehend what just happened. It was more than he ever hoped for. It was hard to get an "I like you" from Ushijima, and saying that? It shocked him up to his very core.

It was almost time to get to class, and Wakatoshi still hadn't came out of the bathroom, so Tendou decided he'd check on him. He wouldn't respond to him calling his name, so, with his eyes obviously shut, he entered the room. Still, no response. He opened them one by one, relieved to find out the boy was fully dressed in his school uniform, but... asleep.

"Oh my, Toshi, how am I supposed to get you to bed now?" he laughed. Wow, he really did affect Ushijima.

It made him happy, somehow.

**

"Oh hell no" Wakatoshi heard Tendou whisper behind his back, and looked in the same direction as the redhead. There was a huge ski lift in front of them, but Ushijima didn't understand the suprise. It was a skiing trip, they had skis in their hands, were dressed in skiing uniforms from head to toes, what was there to be suprised about?

"Scared yet, Tendou?" Semi ran in between them, a glorious smile on his lips. He was a great skier, they all knew it, and he was so, so ready to prove it.

"What? Of course not" the boy laughed it off, his hands secretly trembling inside his gloves.

He looked over at Wakatoshi, who, on the other hand, seemed perfectly prepared as well. Looking damn well in that all black uniform, with his long ass skis over his shoulder, and a confident look on his face.

"I thought it was supposed to be you know, like that flying couches, or T-bars? Not this capsules, looking like space ships" he said. He knew what that ment. If the lift had capsules that could close, it was supposed to go higher than the other ones whe mentioned.

"Are you kidding? These are the best!" Shirabu shouted, an excited smile colouring his cheeks.

"Aww, look at the kid, so eager and excited!" Semi laughed, messing up Shirabu's hair. He glared at him deadly, his good mood all going away.

"I'm going to strangle you one of these days"

"I'm looking forward to you reaching my neck"

Shirabu looked like an angry chihuahua when angry, so it was difficult to be on his side without laughing. But Tendou's smile was all washed away as he was forced to put his skis inside the pocket on the side of the capsule and get inside. He was now sitting there with his three friends, two metres above the ground already, when some dumbass got his skis in the wrong way, and the lift stopped, making the capsule tilt from side to side, making him even more nervous.

"Tendou, you're pale" Ushijima noted, and Satori looked at him with hatred.

"No shit, Sherlock" he responded, still not wanting to admit his obvious fear of heights.

"Are you okay, Tendou-senpai?" Shirabu mocked in a high, teenage girl voice, calling him that on purpose, to annoy him even more.

"I'm fine" he only said, grasping onto the material of his jacket and closing his eyes shut, so he wouldn't see how high above the ground he actually was.

But about half the way up, he was already feeling as if he was to throw up any second.

"Tendou, I'm concerned, you're whiter than the snow" Ushijima stated, making the others laugh even louder, as Tendou glanced at them with despise.

"Screw you, Toshi" he said, managing to keep the leftovers of his confidence, because he was still inside something, that kept him from falling down.

It all changed when they got out, and he noticed the big, white slope in front of him, and how steep it was, going almost straight down, at least in his eyes.

"Wakatoshi, do I really have to get down? Can't I wait for you all here?" he finally asked, adjusting his skis unwillingly.

"What?" he said, looking at him curiously.

"I don't feel like sliding down, that's all" he explained faintly, and after a while of silence, he noticed Ushijima... laughing.

He full on laughed, his eyes almost disappearing with how high his cheeks lifted up, he held onto his own stomach, bent over in half, and laughing his ass off.

"What on earth are you doing?" Tendou was confused, seeing a view like this for the first time in his life. But Toshi wouldn't stop there, he almost fell over while laughing, seeming not to be able to catch his breath.

"Ushijima Wakatoshi, stop this right now! Stop making fun of me!" Satori tried to demand, but his own lip corners started to lift up subconsciously.

"I— I'm sorry, S-Satori, but your voice is so h-high-pitched right now, it-s i-impossible to take you s-seriously" the boy finally responded, "You sound like a l-little g-girl!"

Tendou chuckled as well, but it was mostly from suprise and shock Wakatoshi's excitement caused on him.

He looked very pretty while laughing, that's all he could focus on.

"Come on" Ushijima finally said, when he gathered himself up, still giggling like a four-year-old, and suddenly took Satori's hand, and began sliding down the hill.

"What the heck are you doing? Stop! I don't want to die, I'm going to fall!" he yelled, but the boy just kept laughing, ordering around to change his course every now and then, so they wouldn't fall on each other. Almost half the way he let go of his hand and began skiing even faster.

"Catch me if you can, Tendou!" he yelled, to the redhead's suprise. Why was he suddenly acting like a kid? He didn't know, but he also didn't mind. "If you can get to the bottom first, I'm buying you hot chocolate!"

"Oh, big man, you don't know what you just got upon yourself!" he yelled back, speeding as much as he could. None of his fears mattered, now that hot chocolate was on the table.

This sort of competition would last all day, and Tendou ended up loosing every single time, but the last time before going back to the hotel, he managed to outrun Ushijima. He was pretty sure the spiker let him do that, but he didn't care. He got down, unhooked his skis and jumped around in excitement, when Ushijima came down as well.

"My hot chocolate, Toshi! You owe me hot chocolate!" he shouted, all eager to go buy it right now.

To his suprise, Wakatoshi laughed again. It wasn't a crazy laugh like the one in the morning, but a slight giggle, as if he just saw something adorable.

"You skied down, Tendou! And didn't complain about the height of the mountain even once" he explained, smiling widely. And suddenly, Satori realized.

He did all those bets just for him to enjoy himself more and forget about his fears. He felt heat coming to his eyes, so he started blinking rapidly.

"I got a snowflake in my eye" he explained, and after a moment added "Well, I sure did, didn't I?"

"Yeah! And you were great, so I guess that means I do owe you your hot chocolate" he said, messing with Tendou's hair.

What on earth was going on? Was he on drugs?

"Everyone! Come on, let's go get chocolate before Sensei comes down!" the captain ordered, and the team followed him enthusiastically.

**

"Alright, this settles things for the next year's team. If anyone has any questions fee—"

Ushijima interrupted assistent coach with his hand gesture.

"Sir, if I may" he asked, his voice already steady and prepared for the speech he was about to give.

"Sure."

"Kawanishi. After Tendou leaves this world—"

"Oh my, Wakatoshi, don't make it sound like I'm about to die, or something!" Satori shouted, the other third years laughing in unison, looking at their captain's clueless expression.

"— You'll become the cornerstone for blocking. Have more confidence in yourself. Also, strenghten your serves." he said, in a demanding tone, but not very different from how he was communicating normally.

"Y-yes, sir!" the second year middle blocker yelled, stressed as he could be. Tendou laughed, noticing how tense he was. Oh god, how was this team going to manage without them?

"Shirabu!"

"Yes?"

"The structure of this team will from now on depend on you. We don't have any weak spikers, make sure you draw out everyone's potential."

"Yes."

"Umeda"

"Is he really going to say something questionably inspiring to every single one of them?" Semi whispered, and Tendou nodded.

"I'm afraid so, Semi-Semi"

"Stop calling me that already! Also, Tendou, I have a thing I need to ask you while Ushijima isn't listening"

Ushijima was in fact, listening.

"Shoot it" Tendou stated, lifting one eyebrow in curiousity.

"When're you going to tell him?"

"Tell him what?" he laughed "That his speeches are making them scared? No, that would break his heart, Semi-Semi, have a little compassion within you"

"You know what!" he hissed, staring angrily right into the redhead's eyes.

Of course Tendou knew what. He chuckled, smiling condesendingly at his friend and setter.

"Wasn't that you, Semi-Semi, who said he's straighter than a ruler? The answer is never in a million years, not until pigs fly, and the world's end is upon us. If these conditions are all met, I'll consider it" after saying that he focused his eyes on the ceiling, not wanting to look back at Eita.

"Oh, come on! I watch you two acting like an old married couple for six whole years and I get nothing of it? You need to tell him!"

"Yeah, I kinda have to agree with Semi on this one" Leon said, raising his hand as if he was asking the teacher  a question.

"What? You too?! Geez, do you have a shipping club or something? Don't you have your own lives to take care of?" he laughed nervously, hands already unfocused and tangling together his fingers behind his back to calm down.

"Do it or I will!" Semi threathened, and Tendou glanced him up and down with a deadly flame in his eyes.

"No you won't" he only hissed, his teeth clenched, and eyebrows frowning, looking down at the setter he was suddenly so intimidating, he really dropped the subject.

Tell me what? Ushijima thought, but had to focus on his speech.

"...Goshiki" he finally said, the first year looking at him as if he was about to pass out.

"Y-yes captain?" he mumbled faintly, and Wakatoshi grinned ever so slightly, that no one actually noticed, no one besides Goshiki.

"I'm counting on you."

Tears appeared in the young boy's eyes, as he yelled "Yes, Sir!" and then "Thank you very much!"

Tendou decided to go over to the emotional kid, and patted him slightly on the back.

"There, there, don't cry, how are you going to lead the team like that?"

The kid looked back up at him, with a thankful smile on his lips. Semi and the others couldn't shake the feeling that these two really do match each other perfectly. Wakatoshi builds everyone up with his officially sounding speeches, and Satori cheers them up if they need it. One is reserved, the other overly excited and emotional. One doesn't speak, the other won't shut up for a second.

One is oblivious, the other had been in love for the past six years and knows damn well that drilling feeling inside his stomach is never, ever going away. And he wishes it would, he wishes so hard.

Ushijima smiled gently as he watched Tendou laugh over the bent over boy.

"Alright" he decided to break the tention "I guess we still have that hundred serves to do"

He could really use some serious spiking right then and there,  the feelings inside him wanting to erupt like a volcano of emotions.

"You're really going to do that?" Tendou looked at him with exhaustion and shock in his eyes.

Ushijima laughed.

"I was joking"

"You were WHAT?" the team yelled, and then broke down into laughter.

And so their story went on, through the last months of high school, graduation, and then college. Well, for Tendou it was college, for Ushijima it was playing in Japan's National Youth Team, for players under the age of nineteen.

The fact they couldn't possibly get through the challenges of life without each other was clearly visible when they rented an apartament in Tokyo together and had the best time continuing being roommates, like they did for the last six years. They'd visit their old highschool once or twice, but mostly it was being out of the house for most of the day, coming home in the evening, and watching some crappy show, eventually falling asleep.

Ushijima always brought Tendou with him on his morning runs, much to the latter's disamusement. Tendou, on the other hand, would often explain the concepts he'd learn, but Ushijima, although he was an intelligent person, would mostly just nod and pretend to understand.

They were happy like that. No problems in sight, no worries, no sorrows. None of them mentioned the thing Wakatoshi overheard that day after loosing their match to Karasuno, and Tendou was very content not telling him anything.

Of course a string of jealousy would tie around his heart every time he opened the mail to find like a thousand fan letters all for his roomie, but he knew it wasn't like Ushijima was falling in love. He wasn't even sure if he was familiar with the concept.

Later on everyone assumed that it was the young player who left his best friend first, because of his ongoing career and invitations to other teams, but that actually wasn't true.

"Hey, Toshi, you there?" he heard Tendou's quiet voice on the other side of his door.

"Yeah" he mumbled, face buried deep in his pillow.

The door opened, and the redhead appeared in them, but when Ushijima finally looked at him, something seemed off. He appeared smaller, and thinner than usual, but the volleyball player explained that to himself with his exhaustion.

"I have an important issue I have to discuss with you." he said, and Wakatoshi lifted himself up to a sitting position, eyes hardly managing to stay open and focus on the boy's figure.

"What is it?" he asked, noticing the big envelope in his best friend's hands.

The boy sighed, looking through the big window, like he was searching for something in Tokyo's late night landscape.

"Remember when we were still kids, and you took me out to chocolate ice-cream after Ichika-chan's condition got worse for the first time?" he asked, his eyes upsent, mind already somewhere else.

"I do, why?"

"Well, we talked about our future then, remember? When I said that I'd most likely move to Paris, and live above an alcoholic, and shout at teenagers outside my unit?"

"I remember, but you already chose college here in Tokyo, didn't you?"

"Yeah I did, but... they offered me a scholarship in Paris. I'd study arts where arts have their origins, Toshi"

That fell upon Ushijima Wakatoshi like a rock, hitting him on the head, making him dizzy. The drilling feeling in his stomach increased, making him grip the material on his shirt that was there.

Was Tendou leaving him?

He did it all right, he closed off from the entire world, just so his emotions wouldn't bother anybody, he took care of him, he tried so hard not to tell him about that weird feeling he felt towards him ever since they met, he did it all. And still, he couldn't seem to be able to stop yet another person he... loved, from leaving him.

How could he? After he made him dependent on him through all these years, how could he just...?

But after all, what did Wakatoshi expect? He couldn't keep him in a cage forever, Tendou was someone with a free spirit, and it would do him more harm than good to keep him by Ushijima's side.

"But, Toshi, I'll tell them to go to hell, I really will" he noticed Tendou crying silently by the window, looking directly into his eyes "Once you tell me that one thing I need to hear to stay"

Ushijima's eyes lit up.

What did Tendou want to hear?

"And that is?" he whispered, not even blinking so he wouldn't miss any single move of Tendou's face, when he snorted sarcastically, and shook his head, looking at the ceiling.

"Of course you don't even know. Doesn't matter, Wakatoshi, I got my answer" he said, leaving the room, but the taller boy ran up to him and grabbed him by the wrist.

"Wait, let me think, please. I'm not good with emotions, you know that" he begged, and Tendou looked at him with his teary eyes, his look tearing Ushijima's heart apart, cold as ice. He finally nodded, and leaned against the doorframe.

What could he possibly want to hear? Was it about that weird gut feeling he had?

No, that couldn't be it. Nobody would like to hear about his feelings. No one never.

But truly, what else could it be?

"Are you asking if I want you to stay?"

"No, you heard me the first time."

Wakatoshi started to move backwards, until he stumbled upon his bed and sat on it, eyes fixed on the floor, head down, visibly concerned. It was heartbreaking for Tendou to see him like this, but his whole life was on the line. He'd give it all away for one second with his best friend, but he knew that would fuck him up for good if the feeling wasn't mutual. If Wakatoshi could ever leave HIM just like Tendou couldn't bring himself to.

The boy's breathing started to get short, as he struggled to get the right words. Tendou pitied him. For some reason, for some mistreating he experienced years ago, he wouldn't seem to ever let himself go, and he was bottling up everything he should be able to let go easily. He never though he'd seen it go this far, but here he was, watching Wakatoshi rip the hair out of his head, struggling and trying to say what he so needed to hear.

"I'll help you out, Wakatoshi. Since it's life or death for me, stay or leave, I guess I don't have to hide it anymore" he took a deep breath "Ever since that moment when you said let's break the rules and go get ice-cream, I was astonished by you. Here you were, the first person ever to bend their limits for my sake, and it moved me to the point I though I somehow developed a crush on you, my roommate, my teammate, my best friend. My very straight best friend." after that part, he wanted to see some kind of reaction, but got none, so he sighed and continued "But I knew it would eventually go away, because I was just shocked by the fact someone actually cared for me, in his really weird and odd kind of way. But it didn't. In fact, it only grew, every day, hour and minute, it stopped being a crush and started to be love. I was madly, and I mean it when I say it, madly in love with you, through half  of middle school and all high school. I knew I couldn't tell you, I knew it was pointless, and impossible to work out, but still, I couldn't help it. It became a part of who I was. And so it went on, and on, and on, until it was time to leave school, and Semi tried to get me to confess it. It didn't work out, I was too much of a coward, comfortable with having you just as his best friend. But after a year of living with you, out of my own wish, not the decision of the principal's office, I can clearly see that I can't live like that. I can't live without you, but for that I also need myself. I need back control over my life. So tell me, Wakatoshi, tell me that one magical thing I need, or I'll vanish right this second"

"Satori, you're making this too hard of a choice!"

"It shouldn't be a choice at all, Ushi! I'm already half convinced I should leave by what you're saying"

Come on, Ushijima, he wants the one thing you already know. It's not that hard. Just say it.

"I—" oh god, it was hard "I, uhm, I..."

His heart pounded like crazy, his head hurted, and he was dizzy from stress. Damn it, let it go, or you'll loose the one thing you care about!

"I... I'm really trying, Satori"

"That's not it" he only said, trying to leave once again.

"No wait! Wait, forgive me, please, don't go yet." he shouted.

"Okay, okay shush, the whole block will hear you with that tone" Tendou said calmly, putting both his hands over his friend's shoulders.

He was close to being histeric. All it took was three words. And yet he was too weak to say them. He could work his best, he could put all effort in making himself the best, the strongest, the undefeatable Ushijima Wakatoshi, and yet still, he wasn't strong enough. He wasn't enough.

Tears started rolling down his face, without him even realizing that.

"I— Fuck! Fucking hell, Fuck!" he screamed, and screamed, and screamed, but these three special words still couldn't seem to get out of his throat.

He noticed Tendou crying, as well.

"After seven years of staying by your side at all times, all I want is to be able to make you love me back. But I am really powerless, nothing has changed, has it? I couldn't be better than Oikawa, I couldn't give you what you wanted, I couldn't be a girl, for you to want me, and now, no matter how hard I try, I won't ever be able to just... make you love me back"

"That's not it!" Ushijima yelled "That's not it, I wouldn't like you to be anything else rather than yourself!"

"Then say it. Please, Toshi, I'm tired, it shouldn't be this hard. But I know you're an earnest person, if you say it, I'll blindly believe you." he sighed. He really did look tired, how come Ushijima hadn't noticed earlier? How his undereyes were all dark, how the vains in his eyes were visible, how thin and pale he was...

I love you.

I love you!

I love you so damn much it hurts me to know it!

"I— really hate myself right now" he said in a tired voice "I— uhm, I... "

His lips trembled, his whole body ached, everything was suddenly so blurry.

"Satori, you're my best—"

"Oh, my fucking god!" Tendou screamed "And to believe I actually hoped and believed you'll finally, finally fucking love me! Of course I am your best friend, you idiot, you never had any more than me! I know I matter! I know you care! But that's not enough, Ushijima, that's just not enough!" Tears flooded Tendou's eyes as he finally stormed off out of the room, and grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet on his way out.

"Wait! Wait, that's not what I was trying to say and you know it!" Wakatoshi shouted at him, but he didn't listen anymore.

The redheaded boy smiled, bittersweetly, while chocking on his own tears at his best and only true friend,  for what he considered to be the last time ever.

"It was a pleasure being your friend and teammate, Ushijima" he said and closed the door behind him.

That was the last time ever that Wakatoshi Ushijima broke his heart. But damn, it was going to last a whole lifetime.

**

Every day, for eighteen months the volleyball player would message his friend. At first it was a whole paragraph about how much of a mistake he made, but then it was just his name. It became a habit, everyday before work he'd just text him "Satori" and hope for the best, but the best never came.

He finished his career in Japan Youth National Team, and signed a contract with the polish one, Orzeł Warszawa. He left with nothing to even say goodbye to, even glad he was moving to the other side of the world, because everything in Tokyo was just a walking emobiement of the regret and hate he felt towards himself.

His new teammates were nice, they were very talkative and friendly, and their fans were so, so open and supportive, it was truly suprising. He even started learning the language, but it was a hard thing to do, considering it was one of the hardest on the planet.

"Wakatoshi!" he heard someone yell at his back, with that annoying little accent over "toshi" the polish used to say every time.  

"What?" he asked, turning around to see Daniel, his setter.

"Come, we have a thing to discuss with you"

Ushijima was tired, and didn't want to talk to anyone, but there he was, following the guy into their locker room, which he left like five minutes earlier.

"What's up?" he asked, noticing everyone, even the two girls managing them, standing around and looking at him and Daniel.

"Wakatoshi, before our coach got you to join us, he did a whole lot of research. You were simply the best there was, and percisely what we needed. But we're professionals, just like you, and we know that what you're showing us right now is nothing even remotely related to your best. So, the question remains: what's up? Are you homesick? Do you not like us?" Daniel asked, and Ushijima felt his heart go up to his throat. Oh god, he didn't know it affected them all like that.

"It's not that, no, I'm so sorry for letting you all down..." he started, but got cut off.

"Hey, man, stop apologizing! We just want to find a solution." said the one he got along with the best, Artur.

"It's just... my mind is kind of not cooperating with me these days. My motivation sort of... left me."

"Oh god, guys, I figured it out!" the girl, Kasia, as they all referred to her after Ushijima stated that her full name "Katarzyna" was too difficult for him to pronounce. "Heartbreak!" she yelled as if she'd just now discovered America for the second time.

But much to Ushijima's suprise, they all agreed on that, and soon he had a million arms leaning over him.

"Alright, let me introduce you to a copying mechanism we have against hearbreaks. We don't do this very often, because it's bad for the muscles, but this is an emergency situation. We call it wódka i karaoke. You'll love it."

Soon after he found himself in a karaoke bar, doubting every single life choice he ever made.

"Wakatoshi! We've seen you drink before, but this, this you haven't tried yet." Artur said, putting a huge bottle on the table.

"And what's that?" he asked.

"That, my friend, that's Żubrówka, it's an alcohol, and it'll get it all out of you"  he explained, and put the glasses on the table, pouring everyone one, and then bringing glasses with coke. "Drink it all at once, and then drink the other thing, so it doesn't burn so much in your throat.

Ushijima did as they told him, but didn't feel the need to drink the coke.

"It's not burning at all" he said, almost disappointed, which resulted in them all laughing.

"Alright then, let's have another round!"

Turns out their heads were much stronger than his, because they seemed completely fine after four rounds like that, and Ushijima's head was already going in circles.

"So, Wakatoshi, who's the unfamous girl we're talking about?"  Julia, the other manager, asked, nudging him with her elbow.

"It's a boy" he said, then covering his lips with his hand, not realizing he'd actually say what he meant. "How many percents that thing has?"

"Oh, fourty, I guess?" Artur said, giggling. The number itself made him dizzy.

"A boy, huh?" she asked "Cool, any name?"

"You want it how we say it or how you say it?"

"Normally?"

"So how you say it, alright" he sighed and said "His name is Satori Tendou. He's a wonderful person and I treated him the wrong way, and now he's never coming back"

Well, that came out darker than he anticipated. The fact that it CAME OUT was already a huge suprise.

"Oh, don't say that, Wakatoshi, I'm sure you can win his heart back" she patted his shoulder "In fact! I have a great idea! You'll sing a song, it's a karaoke bar after all!"

"Are you crazy, or are you dumb, the last time I sang it was at my teammate's birthday party in highschool" he declined, shaking his head no.

But it only took him two more rounds to eventually say yes. He complained about not knowing the lyrics, and they sure as hell were complicated to sing, but Julia told him not to worry, that he'll listen first, and then she'll translate him the whole song and teach him the chorus, so he can only sing that.

They were listening to his teammates go all goofy, while singing very old polish songs.

"Okay, what does that mean, and why does it sound so funny?" he asked sincerely.

"Well, it's a song called 'A wszystko to, bo ciebie kocham', and it means 'And all of this, because I love you'. The lyrics are actually pretty cute, he sings that he'll do it all out of love for the girl, and he doesn't know how to live without her, he could even kill himself for her, but the problem is, the song is very cheesy and well, kind of embarassing to sing. I'll record them, so I can send it to the groupchat in the morning" she laughed, and he joined along, noticing how weird they did really sound.

"Alright, and what do we sing?" he asked, looking through the sheet of available songs "And does it HAVE to be in polish?"

"Yes, yes it does, because it's going to be funny, and you're going to forget your sorrows for a bit, before we solve them!" she smiled widely at him, and he couldn't help but return the grin, moved by how far they were willing to go to get his personal life in order. "Alright, but first, tell me about what you did wrong, so I can choose. They're all old, I can't believe Artur picked this bar, but who cares, old songs can be romantic as well. So?"

"Oh, I'd rather not..." he said "I'm not good with things like that" But noticing Kasia's puppy eyes, he sighed and decided to go for it, the alcohol making it all seem easy. "Well, he was my best friend, and only friend, to be exact, for seven whole years before he told me he was moving to Paris, for a scholarship, like he wanted to for a long time. But he said he'd throw it all away, if only I told him what he needed to hear."

"That you loved him?" she asked, and she glanced at her, shocked.

"How did you know?!"

"It was kind of obvious, to be honest. And I'm guessing you didn't do that?"

"Yeah"

"Why?" she put her elbow on the table, and stared right into Ushijima's eyes, making him uncomfortable, but also convincing him to keep talking.

"I wanted to, but I just couldn't. I know it sounds dumb..."

"Oh, believe me, I know how that feels like. Both sides of the story, actually. Well, I'm sure he does have a reason to not want to see you again, but too bad, cause he's gonna. Alright, your song will be.... 'Stacja Warszawa'!" she shouted, excited that she found a perfect song.

"Does it mean Station: Warsaw?" he asked, and she nodded, giving him a thumbs up about his polish getting better.

"Good, you're a really quick learner there, Toshi!"

He froze upon hearing the nickname, but she didn't notice.

"Alright, so you're going to be singing this part" she explained, marking it on the lyrics. "Overall, the song is about how lonely Warsaw seems for the guy without his love, and how everything that is wrong with this city would suddenly be better if only she were there. And you're parts meaaaan... the first one is 'Everything would be so different, if you were here, I know, not so difficult and strange, if only you were here, I know.' The second one is 'If love means anything, it must give us a sign, maybe sometime you'll see it, and tell me that...' and the rest isn't your part cause I feel like you'd have a hard time propouncing it.

"That's actually... pretty accurate" he whispered, amazed by the text.

Then she proceeded to teach him the lyrics.

He was feeling insecure and embarassed, about to sing, which he totally didn't like, and sing in a language he barely even knew, but the alcohol did it's job, and he didn't care as much. It was honestly a nice feeling, to be able to let it all go at once, but he was trying not to do that, because that would've flooded him all, and he'd become a big, pathethic mess.

And that's when he realized. He couldn't say these easy, three words, because he was afraid, that if he'd let his guard down this much, it would all come out, all these emotions he'd been holding, and he was worried how that would feel. It was so sudden and logical, he was left there in shock, and payed only half of his attention to what Julia was explaining.

He went on the stage, somehow, reassured by the fact that almost all of the guests that night was the team, and he wouldn't embarass himself in front of any strangers.

The song was nice to listen to, but the performance of polish volleyball players, well, not so much. He wasn't one to talk with his vocal abilities, but well.

It was soon his part, and he took the microphone shyly, wrapping both his hands around it, and sang quietly:

"Wszystko byłoby inne gdybyś tu był, ja wiem, nie tak trudne i dziwne, gdybyś tu był, ja wiem" the fact that he didn't fully understand made it less awkward to say, that was shocking.

Then the music's volume went up, and he sang more confidently:

"Jeśli miłość coś znaczy to musi dać znak, kiedyś też to zobaczysz, powiesz mi tak"

Even to himself, he sounded like a half dead pig, and his polish was terrible, considering it had a lot of consonants in one place, and not one consonant and one vocal syllables, like in Japanese.

It truly did feel amazing to finally say something like that, and he didn't know which factor made it so easy: the percents in the alcohol he just drank, or his poor understanding of the lyrics, but he started smiling.

"That was so, so good!" Kasia shouted once Artur, Daniel, and Ushijima, of course, left the stage. "I got that on your camera, Toshi!" she shook the device to prove it. "And I'm posting it right now! Tell me, does this almost-boyfriend of yours have an instagram account?"

"He does, why?" he asked, not fully aware of his sorroundings by then, not realizing she was in fact, not joking, but really posting his singing on instagram, on his official, verified account, and tagged Tendou in it.

After that, it was three or four songs before they left. The guys have all went home, and he was left with Julia and the other girl, Kasia, on the cold streets of Warsaw in the middle of the night.

"So, he took off to Paris, huh?" the first girl started the conversation.

"Mhm"

"You know, while we're talking about songs, there's another one I like. It's highly sexist and not quite adequate for modern times, but once you understand it was written in the eighties, it's actually kind of logical, and beautiful."

"How do the lyrics go, then?" he asked, too drunk to be reserved.

"Well, the quote I'm talking about in polish is 'Bo męska rzecz - być daleko', and it means it's men's thing to be far away. She then says the only thing you can do is wait, and hope, the tears in your eyes will turn into happy tears at once. The title means that you can still see the white sail in the distance, and it's about the sail of the ship they boy is on, leaving her, and she's not sure when he'll come back. But what's most important is to hope that he eventually will." she said in a dreamy voice.

"You're right, that is sexist"

"Look at our dear Toshi, standing up for women" they both laughed. "But it does make sense, doesn't it?"

"I can see why it you consider it reassuring. I do hope to see him walking out of a plane to see me at some point, even though he hadn't said a word to me in a year and a half"

"He will. If all you said was true, it's true love. And love finds a way."

"Julia?"

"Yeah, Toshi?"

"How do you say I love you in polish?" he asked, his eyes glossy, she almost saw the reflection of the moon in them.

"Kocham cię" she said quietly. "Kocham meaning I love, and cię meaning you"

"It sounds nice. Kocham cię" he said, and all three of them laughed at how dumb that sounded in his mouth, all blurred together and not at all sounding like the nice and earnest expression Julia said before. But nevertheless, he was smiling widely. "I said it" he whispered, a hot feeling flooding his chest.

"Congratulations, Mr Closed Off, you really did"

Wakatoshi looked at the moon. Was Tendou looking at it right now as well? Was he still wishing for them to be looking at it together?

**

The next morning, Ushijima woke up in his rented apartament, noticing it was still so early, considering he didn't have practice that day, and wondered what on earth woke him up.

His head hurted like hell, and he felt like throwing up. Then, he heard the thing that woke him up again. It was the doorbell.

"Idę!" he yelled, meaning 'I'm coming' in polish. It was actually one of the first phrases he learned, because his neighbours and mailman were all confused when he used to say it in english, or worse, japanese.

He needed to support himself by holding onto the wall, because the dizzyness became unbearable. He promised himself never to drink with his team again. He turned the key in his lock, and opened the door.

He thought for a second he was still asleep, when he saw who was ringing his doorbell at this ungodly hour. He looked differently, his hair was styled differently, and his style changed, but for sure it was him.

No, he must've mistaken someone for him. Maybe it was some kind of a new neighbour with dyed hair, and he was still drunk? Or maybe too dizzy to notice the details? Or his imagination was playing tricks on him?

Only then had he realized he was staring bluntly at the person for almost a minute now.

"Toshi?" he heard a familiar voice say.

So it was him. How did he get here? When did he get here? Why did he get here?

All the dizzyness, and more importantly, the weird drilling feeling inside his stomach disappeared at once, and he truly saw, Tendou Satori in the flash, standing in front of him.

"Tendou, Kocham cię" he said suddenly, not wanting to wait with it any longer, since it was him. He then proceeded to hug him as tightly as he never did before, inhaling the scent, the aura, it all.

"What?" Tendou laughed, as vibrantly as freely as Ushijima remembered it. The one thing he'd never forget was Tendou's laugh, even if it were fifty years, not one and a half.

"That means I love you in polish" he explained.

"Oh. But you're my best—"

"Shut it!" he shouted, way too loud for the early hour.

"I'm kidding, relax" Satori smiled widely. "In that cause, Kocham cię, too"

the end