#usedandchildabused

[healthgnome]

FAK; Important Gaslighting / Manipulation

Ok so. Upon request to find something in my camera roll I found the set of videos I took when I was being gaslit by Tobias/Isaiah. Idk if they’ve all been posted before but this will be a specific post for just these.

I haven’t watched them in.. months. Because I really haven’t wanted to, that’s why they aren’t on my phone. But, I did today, and felt genuinely sick to my stomach. I have a hard time taking in negative information about those I associate myself with, even in past, because of inner moral turmoil, largely. But I cannot ignore the blatant manipulation and ignorance of how awful the situation was handled.

Please keep in mind that while I may seem composed in my repetition of how I don’t believe in what Tobias/Isaiah is saying, it is breaking me and hurting me because I can’t know that for sure, it’s why I recorded the videos and sent them to a group chat.

Anyway, here are said videos. [Under the keep reading line, so as to make the post less large.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwJS2LJYvKM&feature=youtu.be

In this one, and I’m still not sure of the truth, I heard my name by said, very quietly, and Tobias/Isaiah said he was trying to sleep. (On my bed, with me there.) But his mouth was just the slightest bit agape and it sounded like my name came from his mouth. This is denied vehemently. Again, still no idea if I really did hallucinate or not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpKI5iOZvnk&feature=youtu.be

More of the same. There's also laughing at the situation. (I’m not.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri-1kAuITuc&feature=youtu.be

Now I’ve been told I don’t exist, I’m in a mental hospital and made Tobias/Isaiah and his story up in order to cope. Being told nothing is real, my phone isn’t real, it’s all my subconscious. (My phone is a very important thing to tether me to reality. It connects me.) Saying he died, being strange.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6I9sswRhKg&feature=youtu.be

Keeps up that this isn’t real. Saying he told me “stories” (his traumas) that were all bs bc obviously none of it would happen if it were real. Saying his parents killed him, trying to logic that it wouldn’t make sense for him to live through abuse and then be raped twice. Keeps up that I’m in a mental hospital.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7i3bPWAjK0&feature=youtu.be

Telling me he cannot be hurt because he isn’t real. Keep trying to logic that it’s not real. Insulting himself to logic that this isn't real. Driving me out of my mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hORxAO6HQU&feature=youtu.be

Referring to himself in the third person; “Is he trying to make you have delusions?” Continuing the same story, trying to be creepy, laughing loudly at himself. Telling me that I’m not real. Trying to tell me I’m trying to cope. In the end he says “Ok yeah you’re real if you wanna believe that.” Then laughs but the video cuts off again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQtvXXQJ1RA&feature=youtu.be

This video is very quiet, almost as if in a tone of guilt but is still smiling. Stares at me for a period of time smiling, then says, “I’m real.” Laughs, “I wanna kill myself that’s all.” Apologizes, asks if I want to beat him up, tells me to do it, and says he did this because “Allan did it to me so I wanted to do it to somebody else.” He keeps talking about how he wants to die, kill himself, how he wants me to beat him to death. Laughs more, then brings up the name thing again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rhms_lQ3TQ&feature=youtu.be

Tobias/Isaiah tries to get me to trust him, tries to touch me at the beginning. Claims he’s my best friend. (I’m not adding that out of meanness it just feels like it’s all part of the manipulation and potential guilt-tripping.) Laughs, says he’s going to act normal again and then negates it completely with voice changing and other things. Continues to insult himself, begs for my trust, and keeps trying to claim he's my best friend. He hits himself to claim he’s real, then does so again for the fun of it. In the end he is playing with a bracelet he found in his basement, slowly smiling, denying my mockery of his gaslighting and laughs again as if this isn’t serious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3sf9eNsMak&feature=youtu.be

In this last video Tobias claims to have just woken up. More laughing throughout the video. Asks me not to kill myself and saying he cares about me, in his quiet voice. He comes forth about being awake, but continues denying the name thing, and using different weird voices. He says he knows I’m mad bc I have “psycho tits” (psychosis). He claims how worried he is about me bc I hallucinated, keeps telling me I have psychosis. Tobias/Isaiah expresses how people with psychosis often hear voices and whispers, he says that “now you’re trying to pin that on me.” Accusatorily, as if I were doing something bad by not believing I hallucinated. He mentions a girl who was at the hospital who heard voices and began to believe she could read people’s thoughts. I explain that I don't believe I can, I was told maybe I could because through the friendship Tobias/Isaiah claimed that I’m magic, and in this instance used that to say that maybe I could read thoughts. I took it as that, upset about it all, and he agreed and told me he believes it.

Sorry I got more detailed per video it.. happens with me.

Anyway Tobias/Isaiah is not someone to be trusted, is a manipulator and a gaslighter, and laughs about it throughout a now blaringly obviously bs apology.

Thank you for taking the time to read/watch these videos. Please spread them, this isn’t a safe person, especially not with the information out, and how many vulnerable people who follow him and look up to him.

[coca-coola]

If @usedandchildabused wasn’t such a liar and a coward, he’d message me instead of putting all our business online for attention

But he is just that; a liar and a coward. That’s why he can’t answer my asks, refute my points correctly, or say anything that’s actually correct.

So just so you guys know, he’s a liar and he’s using his followers for attention.

But whatevs, I really couldn’t care less what he and his asskissers think of me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but if he doesn’t stop saying my name, we’re gonna have a real problem, because I don’t hide behind a screen like him, I live in the real world.

[coca-coola]

Alright so who the fuck did it cuz Allan still thinks I'm friends with him and you have a whisper! Allan doesn't know the story about me getting sexually harassed by people from a porn site where my number was posted, and Ryan does. And the people on whisper said it was a post from the West/north side, so it's either you three, or Allan. And the VERY LOGICAL CONCLUSION is that it's you three, because Alana has my phone number and I can't just rely on "they wouldn't do shit like that"

Aw you wanna hide on anon? Cute. We’re literally all laughing about this, and Alana and I never even heard that story, but thanks for the info. I dont know who fucking posted your number, but Ryan and I actually have jobs and a side business so we don’t have time to even have a passing thought about you unless you got our names stuck in your teeth.

So leave us the fuck alone for once and get a fucking life.

[healthgnome]

I don’t want to saturate my blog entirely with this utter bullshit but remember how @for-abused-kids @firstnonbinarypresident literally said, himself, that he’s a compulsive liar? Yeah just thought that was vital lol.

Beyond that his mental state? Or his state of reality? Yeah not great either.

Maybe I just want too much to see the positive in people, it feels like he really wants to do this for the sake of good, but is too stuck up his own, compulsively lying, genuinely delusional ass to see any sense of intelligence or higher moralism in not going through with this fricken ICE raid nonsense.

Please,,, for the love of everything right in the world,,, don’t let anyone follow in his heavy, bloodied, footseps. For your own sakes, and for the sake of the many in these military camps. Only harm will be done. There’s so many flaws in every step of the way, regardless of how much he may be keeping hidden on discord, or whatever platforms he’s using.

Thank you to @thevvytchbytch for this screenshot-documentation of Tobias/Isaiah’s own, declared unreliability.

(Also, yes, he has harmed people. Whether that’s on purpose or a horribly unstable reality. He’s untrustworthy.)

***please check my reblog of this post

[healthgnome]

FAK is a Liar

Was going to make a post about this with all the screenshots BUT I was looking through my texts and came across this.

Now, I found out that he was in a discord server in which he doxxed someone, and spread super crappy and blatant lies about us, amongst manipulating and whatnot.

Here’s what he said:

Yellow is STOLEN FROM ME. I said that I didn’t like doing this bc it sets off my paranoia, morally it can hurt me, and that I need help to control myself bc when everyone gets a thousand things it feels like I Need to as well.

Red is a blatant lie; he got us caught that day bc of something mindnumbingly stupid, didn’t get in trouble and put everything back, of course. We didn’t make him steal money. If he chose to he did, I took picket change.

Blue is for a reason; he’d be blamed BECAUSE IT WAS HIS FAULT

Green is not how that happened; he wanted us to steal, and Allan kinda got he roped into it a couple times. Allan wanted him to steal alcohol, and moreso than Tobias would have wanted to.

I clearly wasn’t super into it- not really, I don’t want to “collect” from Macy’s.

[healthgnome]

guys PLEASE this account that For Abused Kids is talking about has no power legally, as proof, or as any way to “keep people safe”, and.,,.. WAS NOT HACKED

[healthgnome]

Not trying to post about this more than this tonight but I realized a really good word for FAK is sinister. He’s just. Sinister.

[healthgnome]

The Endocrine Argument Happened

I’m gonna make a couple posts about the videos but the first one that caught me were the fricken endocrines.

On all of these posts contain captions in relation to that dumb fuck of an argument. And the date is highlighted.

Tobias/Isaiah is. A horrendous but consistent liar.

My IG is crossed out but if you actually want it DM me lol. I don’t trust that people won’t use it against me rn lol

[healthgnome]

just btw he changed his tumblr url

Yemb thank I went on a whole reblog spree with it lol

Unless you were saying this is a joke bc of said spree than sorry for filthing up your dash

ANYWAY FAK/For-Abused-Kids/Tobias/Isaiah IS NOW @traumaticbackstory

[healthgnome]

Why is fak acting so incredibly immature and childish in those videos? How old was he even?

That’s a good question. He was often like that ngl. Like. He’s a really weird person to be around IRL. Sometimes it was definitely because of.. something.. other times he’s just. Like that.

At the time of the videos FAK was 17, they happened late, late 2017/early 2018. He’s turning 19 in September I think?

[healthgnome]

Wasn’t going to post this but Isaiah’s trying to go back to posting as if none of anything has happened and he’s done too much for him to not acknowledge half of it properly.

ANYWAY he’s a hyprocrite.

“Don’t talk over abused kids” like? How he constantly talks over POC; esp black people, esp black women? Really tried to find a way this was either mis-typed or meant to say something else and I actually really cannot.

The context of the post is about how CPS is bad, how to go about potentially reporting your parents if it’s a must, and how everyone mad at him is obviously nurtured and no one knows shit about abuse.

[healthgnome]

I mean not only are these two completely separate matters but this was a pretty understandable question met with intensely harsh response from an obvious supporter. Since they.. donated to the raid.

Which was. For every reason a bad idea anyway.

[healthgnome]

seeing the numerous amount of videos you had to make to keep yourself stable that includes tobias' ghostly white face hovering above you makes me so angry that he was able to say all those horrible things to you. no one delights that much in someone's suffering if theyre not a controlling, abusive person >:0 i hope all of his followers that are defending him realize that if hes advocating so much for abused kids he wouldnt pull that kinda shit on someone whose in such a susceptible state

Yeah I have a tendency to record things Just In Case, but at that time it was very much to keep myself grounded, or make sure things were real, I sent a lot of videos to a group chat of all of us for like.. outside help.

Some of it I recorded for funsies and it still.. showcases a lot of crap I didn’t realize was so bad at the time.

I spent a lot of time with Tobias so a lot are about him bc.. being around him IRL is seriously such a trip. It’s. So bizarre and he’d often trigger my psychosis whether or not on purpose. But at the time I just thought “hey you can relate to me on this” but idk now.

You’re so right he really is really controlling and no one of good mind would want to do such awful things. I really hope all his young followers stay the fuck away,,

[healthgnome]

This is just me being finicky mostly but there was a threshold between when weed would like. Just calm me down a bit and when I’d start basically tripping on acid.

If I exceeded that threshold (and I was in a nonventilated room (big oops))- I had started to trip off my shit and it was one of the worst experiences of my life without exaggeration. I don’t want to go into detail rn but physically and mentally I was soo soo out of it and got literally sick. Which,, I felt a lot better after tbh

More important

I’m not even sure I was high when Tobias/Isaiah was gaslighting me. I’m pretty sure that was 100% sober which. Frankly I’d say makes it worse bc he would have had complete and utter control over himself.

[healthgnome]

Dear, Isaiah because it’s come to my attention.

It has come to my attention that the past back-and-forth of abuse accusations have been slowly resurrected and I see now that it is certainly within my time to once more explain my side. I truly wish not to be slandered and lied about on such a big platform and I wish the same for my friends, Ryan and Zayne. I genuinely try very much to be a decent, good, and helpful person. Sometimes I slip up as anyone would but I certainly know that I would never try and genuinely bully or hurt someone. For any time I might have joined in on some fun-making - trying not to go overboard and apologizing if I did end up actually hurting- I once again of course apologize for that. I go with the flow of how I think a dynamic is working and sometimes a dynamic does involve some making fun meant in no big harm. A prime example of such would be the friendships between Mark (Markiplier), Bob (Muyskerm), and Wade (LordMinion777). Where it is within understanding that they are all good friends but Wade gets the brunt of a lot of jokes. Any time there is sincere hurt, not that we have seen- but I guarantee there would be apology.

In Any Case, now that that introduction is out of the way I shall diffuse all that has been said in a post made by former friend Isaiah AKA (currently) @for-abused-kids about myself, Zayne (@thevvytchbytch) and Ryan (@literallyrealdeadstuff).

Not one of us have “stalked” your blog on a daily to find out if you have talked shit. If you mean during that whole giant commotion, sure there was a lot of digging in order to actually provide evidence for the claims we make. After that? Maybe checked out some posts to make sure there wasn’t still any sort of slander on any of our names, or we were informed of such a thing taking place. And yes, you have had their name(s) and mine on your blog in a “talking shit” kind of way.

We did not go to your house after dark, how would you know if you weren’t there. That is assumption. (and you know what they say lol) And a letter was written to your parents coming from a place of concern and explanation. I had not wished any abuse on you to happen.

As well, you are repeatedly saying that we lied to your mother telling her you ripped up the note. It was not meant to be a lie or anything of the sort, we simply had no contact and therefore wanted to make sure the note was actually read.

Hmm. I would really like to point out though that you claim that Zayne had the audacity to go to your home and deliver this note with someone who stole from your home while at the hospital. Do not act like you are not leaving out very important parts to this statement, and that the counterpart, leader, truest perpetrator, and manipulator to this was someone mentioned throughout this letter.

There was a lot of yelling between yourself and Zayne. A lot of it was not meant in harm, which was understood at least eventually; a lot of it was out of anger because something had happened, was done, or was said. And there was a lot of back and forth.

Allan was a friend of all of us for a while until he was slowly let go from all of us because he is a bad person. Personally, I stayed friends because my really fucked up brain could not handle being any more alone than I already was. You had liked him for a long time. Told us about it, or when certain things may have happened; sometimes these feelings went away (which is normal), and sometimes they were strong. I can provide proof for this too. Yes he was an awful person, and I was usually on your side when he did bully you. I did exclaim, and of course I understand how feelings work, that perhaps not being friends would be a good idea. I also told Allan this countless times but he enjoyed messing with you and I am not him nor could I control his actions.

The competition? There was a small friendly barely-a-competition thing going on in regards with Zayne. And it had barely lasted as well. At least from what I understood.

Ah yes the cum stains things. We used the word cum out of what we thought would be respect for your identifying away from femininity. Just as we would use the word “dick” or any variations thereof rather than vagina when referring to most of us and genitalia. Which sounds gross to say but we are teens, most of us horny, most everyone on T, genitals were a common point of discussion. And yes, you did leave vaginal discharge stains, or cum stains or whatever you feel most comfortable calling it, on the futon. And this is a pretty normal thing from what I know. People “get wet” and people have sexual liquids. It be like that.

From what I, and many others know, you do talk to a lot of people, including children, about your trauma.

I don’t remember you purposely triggering Zayne with Ed Sheehan, you did not have control anyway; Allan was the controller and was persistent on having that song on. However, you have attempted to physically hurt Zayne when you punched them. It did not actually hurt because it was frankly weak (not that I could do much better). What next you’re referring to after this is that Zayne was allowed by yourself to punch back; they simply know how to and are stronger than they appear.

Oh god. The Asian thing. That’s a huge bag on it’s own and has been talked about previously, you want more info on this or another post? Talk to me. Here is a link to a post with a bunch of evidence of this and other things & here is a link to a quick post by Ryan. There will also be a couple of photos at the end of this. But simply, Isaiah, your evidence was hardly; you have very white features, two very white parents, and have never presented otherwise, this coming from a very white person.

Congruently, have you seen Ryan or a picture of him recently? He has anything but thin lips. If you’d care for an example of thin, look at me. His hair is quite thick, has varying curls throughout as has been complained about and explained in the past. As well, it does deeply tangle itself if not taken care of daily. I, on the other hand never brush my hair- at the same length- and it barely gets more than a little disheveled. There is evidence of all of this. He does not at all have a small nose. Whilst not the darkest person, the summer provides a pretty good tan, more so in his youth. His father is actually not white- which is a known fact rather than a guess. If he is at least a quarter black, and has those features, I think it’s fair for him to claim that he is mixed on a hookup/dating app.

Oh, and I am quite aware of all of the arguments you’ve had about your father and his heritage. It’s what sparked that one post about the “Native American” 80’s/90s festival necklace. Which was a genuinely funny incident if you look back on it.

I have heard varying things to do with you imagining sex with anyone you are friends with. Just as I have heard varying statements about a lot of things that you exclaim to have or currently happen in your life.

We have called you straight as you have called yourself straight or straight-passing because of the fact that you were or are masc-aligned and would now prefer to date fem-aligned individuals due to trauma. But considering you are not mono-attracted to only men/masculine leaning individuals, you are not completely gay either. So if you can call yourself one you can essentially call yourself the other since you seem to be comfortable enough doing so. (I’ve recently seen a word to use for nonbinary-straight attraction! it’s “strayt”; similarly, there is “gai.” I bring these up not to make-fun or cause harm but they may be useful to you.)

In regards to Ingrid, as far as you have spoken to us and as we have seen, you have changed what you claim to have identified as whilst dating her. From secretly trans, to a cis girl, to questioning (not in this order, necessarily). Regardless, for many reasons it seems as though this was an unhealthy relationship.

You have taken stories right out of others lives and claimed them to be your own, these would be delusions, dear, not hallucinations. And it is at least a possibility that a lot of other things are delusions, too. This coming from someone who has had experiences with some sort of psychosis, delusions, hallucinations, gas lighting (from yourself, Isaiah. as well as from others.) and other such things that I can explain more if asked. And there is evidence of this all, as well.

I have never been abused by my parents. They are wonderful individuals who also try to be good, decent people. They have taken in my friends (including you, Isaiah) and done a lot to help them in times of abuse and need as well. That being said, there can be, from what I’ve seen, varying degrees and methodologies of abuse that different groups take part in. They are all horrific and I absolutely, full-heartedly, condemn all of it. But that is a fact given by apparent evidence. This being said, your parents have Not admitted to doing all of this, at least not to yourself, but to your sisters. I am genuinely curious as to why, if they’d admit doing harm to them both to you and in writing, why would they not come through with all of this to yourself?

On this topic, Stockholm syndrome, while something truly awful, is a kidnap-specific symptom. You can google how it affects others, but those websites are a lot less trust-worthy. We both went through the Hell of the junior research project and you are an academically intelligent person, you should be able to tell the difference between a trustworthy site and an untrustworthy one.

As far as your gender, speculations have been made based upon a lot of things you have said, and some seeming fetishization of nonbinary people. This is not said to invalidate your feelings or anyone else’s for that matter. It is simply that you are a rightfully suspicious individual. Again, this coming from trans people both binary and non- alike.

Regarding what I’m pretty sure is the video of you sitting on my legs, Isaiah, I don’t remember if there was an apology (whether or not in the video) but this wouldn’t be the first or last time something like this had occurred.

Finally, you have abused me. You have done me harm and I now understand that. I have tried to do a lot for you but you have done a lot to and taken advantage of me and my mental state. 

Once again here is a link to a post with A Lot of evidence. Want more? Contact me.

As always, best regards to your mental health,

former friend, Alana.

PS; Please, for the love of everything, do stop misgendering Zayne and use *their* correct pronouns ( they / them ) !

The photo below contains obviously curly hair, not-at-all thin lips, a not-at-all small nose, etc. You can see.

[afangirlamongotherthings-blog]

Both of these are moods, but @usedandchildabused if you need a hug, I'm here.

not to be r*mantic on main but i deserve to be able to climb onto the roof of an abandoned building and stargaze with someone i love at least once in my life