#used wrong react woops

[bird-and-war]

These panels are so fucking interesting.

The alianation from his peers feels heavy. Denji's expression is distressed while trying to put them by his side but the boys are just there. Quiet and expressionless, not reacting to his emotions, proving him wrong with their silence. Also, they are dressed in a "normal" way and their hats even makes them look a little bit formal, like they had a uniforms (a military one for example. The hats just have that vibe). They also look similar, like a copy, giving a sense of uniformity. Meanwhile, Denji has just a sleeveless shirt and some shorts which someone on twitter pointed out is just the clothes kid denji was wearing some chapters ago. This could mean that Denji is still in a trauma state rooted on his childhood, in contrast to the other boys (forgot their names woops) who got to grown up normally.

Also, I think this is the first time Denji talks to other men to ask for some form of solidarity or support, appart from Aki. This is clear not only by the dialogue, but also with how Fumi is removed from the picture. This is between them, in a little old "this is between men" (cringe) way and "girls wouldn't understand". He tries to use language usually used in men's conversations and yet, Denji still fails to connect with them. His first called for help to other men is unanswered, as well as his attempt to say that he is just like them. The boys' uniformity evident their shared clothes makes it look like Denji is in fact different to the society and its members as a whole, even if he tries to use its gender concepts and language. At rhe end, Denji is no like the "normal men" of his age. And, if we connect this with the clothes he is wearing, we could say that he can't be like the others because of his upbringing.

The fact that denji's panel goes all the way down to the end of the page while the other panel doesn't is interesting. I am not sure what that could mean but maybe is something about how profound is Denji's trauma which makes him understand his sexuality differently. Or it could be another way enhance more the difference between Denji and his peers. Or to point out that Denji, the individual, is different to the men produced by the society, who are in an horizontal panel that makes them one.

[lemon-russ]

Uhm so my understanding with that 'Burned out on Cato × Diplomat' post is that requests are open? May I request some post-nails Angron x Reader? Doesn't have to be smut, but I'd welcome it!

yes!! It isn't super long and no smut, but I liked this so much I might do more of it, I'm actually a big fan of 30k Angron :)

Eta: I keep forgetting tags woops: @undeaddream @scriberye @sleepyfan-blog

And thank you for divider as always @squishyowl

Angron x Gn!Reader

Word count: ~800

CW: It's Angron. There's blood.

Blood dripped down the walls, splattered across from the spray from the neck of the unfortunate serf that happened to have passed by The Red Angel at the wrong moment. He gnashed his teeth, grinding and cracking them before they healed themselves immediately anyways. The pain of the nails cracked through his skull again, but dulled slightly now that he'd turned a serf into paste in the halls of the Conqueror.

He whirled 180° at the sound of soft footsteps tapping against the metal plates, nostrils flaring and hand raising to use whoever dared approach the Lord of the Red Sands.

But upon seeing your soft, patient expression looking up at him with gentle eyes, he faltered. The only thing that seemed to even slightly interrupt the pain if his nails besides bloodshed and slaughter, was you. You and that gentle, unfaltering look you always gave him.

He lowered his arm, grinding his teeth again against the pain, and you gave him a small smile before approaching. You could read him well enough to know when it was safer to approach and when he needed space.

“Angron.” You say in that soothing tone. You never called him “my lord” or “primarch” or any of those ridiculous titles. He tried not to flinch, his muscles tensing in control as you stepped to his side. You pull out a cloth from your robes and pat at the blood splattering his arms with a featherlight touch, knowing too much contact would irritate his nails.

“You.” He gruffs. That's all he ever called you. Just, you. Never anything so pompous or fake as a pet name. And he honestly would forget your name in the middle of a wrack of pain or a blood fury. So it more often than not was simply, “You.”

“You are wandering alone again.” He growled, fists straining as he attempted to control his anger at your lack of self preservation. “You forget where you are.”

Like always, you didn't react in anyway but with gentle, unwavering patience. “I heard screaming. I wanted to check on you. Would you like to walk with me?” You say with that soft tone that seemed to balm his psyche.

He simply grunts, the nails lashing against the numbing of his mind with another shock of pain. But you made it easier. More bearable. He lets you take his hand in both of yours, and mindlessly follows you as you lead him away from the pile of gore he made of the serf.

He blinks away some pained brain fog. “You… know better than… to walk alone around the ship.” He forced through grit teeth.

You make a gentle hum. “I wasn't very far from you.” You return simply.

He groaned, annoyance tinging the pain in his mind. “If one of my sons got a hold of you…” he growled, teeth creaking in his head as he ground them.

You softly pat his hand. “I know, but they did not. Shall we loop around?” You say, tugging his hand gently toward a new corridor. “Or shall we bathe for the night and head to bed?”

He shuddered, pain mingling with the other feelings you always stir. “Bed. Now.” He grunts, hand tightening around your tiny ones.

You giggle, the sound only rousing his blood more. “Not while you're covered in blood. Bath time it is. I got some nice herbs for soaking when we were on that last planet…” you say, and your babbling about scented leaves turns into a soft background noise as he watches your face while you talk. Soft. Gentle. Patient. Voice hypnotizingly calming, or as much as is possible for him. His.

He growled a soft noise, gripping your tiny hand with as much gentleness as he could muster. With you, blood was not the only thing that could sate his pain and rage. At least for a moment. With you, there were other things that helped.

You looked up at him curiously, and his mind dredged back to the moment. “What?” He grunted.

You giggled and blushed. “I asked, so you think it might be fun to combine a bath and our other activites?”

He processed slowly, mind trudging through the ever constant pain, but then he let out a deep, needy growl from his chest. “Yes.” He snarled. He scooped you up into his arm, no longer patient enough to wait for your tiny legs. You squeak and giggle, far too comfortable in the arms of 11 feet of muscle and rage.

He looks down at you as he hurried toward the quarters he had made for you. You. His.

Yes, there were other things that could soothe his nails, for a moment. And he thinks he might be able to rut himself into a somewhat restful sleep tonight.

[aalissy]

Sharing a Bed

Woop woop! Day 13 is doneee!! And it's a prompt that I'm so glad I finally got to write hehe. I've had an idea for this for agessss. I hope you like it <3

AO3

Oh.

Oh no.  

Marinette gaped down at the one queen-sized bed that was planted in their hotel room. Alya and Nino were just down the hall in their own room. Maybe they were in the wrong room. 

Glancing down at her key, she gulped nervously. Nope. This was the right room according to the hotel.

Her gaze darted over to Adrien before quickly darting away when their gazes met. She was certain her face must look tomato red as she shifted awkwardly on her feet. She still had time to call Alya and beg her friend to let her sleep with her instead.

Half of this crazy plan was from Alya anyway. Thinking it would help her to confess if they spent the night in the same room. At the time, Marinette had thought it was a good idea too. Until she saw that there was only one bed!

“Well,” Adrien started with a chuckle, causing her to peek back over at him. He was scratching the back of his neck, an easy smile on his lips. “I can take the floor.”

“What?!” Marinette practically screeched, shaking her head rapidly. She turned fully, meeting his gaze head-on. She crossed her arms against her chest, her eyes blazing with determination. “No, you can not! Adrien, this whole trip was for you. It’s a miracle your father even let you come. So... I’ll take the floor.”

She gave a firm nod. She would take the floor and that was that. It did look kind of cold, though. Nibbling on her lip, Marinette gave him a small smile. “But, um... maybe I can have just one blanket?”

Soon Adrien burst into a fit of raucous laughter that had her frowning over at him. Surely it wasn’t that funny! She was taking the floor so surely he could part with one little blanket!

Opening her mouth to defend herself, she was stopped by Adrien finally sucking in a deep breath as his laughter fell away. “Marinette, don’t be ridiculous,” he finally said. “I’m not going to just let you sleep on the floor. And, even if I did, I’d be giving you all of the blankets, Marinette.”

Her furrowed brow deepened. His reaction made much more sense now. But... even still...

“But that’s not fair to you, then, Adrien.” She shook her head. “I don’t want you to be cold.”

His gaze softened as he looked at her in a way that had her heart thumping loudly in her ears. Why did he have to look so adorable all of the time?

“Well, if neither of us wants the other to sleep on the floor, then how about we share the bed?” Adrien suggested, his voice gentle as he took a step closer to her. Marinette's breath caught in her throat at the suggestion.

“W-what? Share the bed?” she squawked, her eyes wide as she looked up at him. Did he really just ask her to do that? Was he a secret mind reader? Was he reading her hopes and wishes right now?

Adrien nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, why not? It’s big enough for both of us, and we can each have our own space.”

Marinette felt her cheeks heat up even more at the thought of sharing a bed with Adrien. It was something she had only dreamed of, quite literally at times, but now that it was actually happening, she wasn’t sure how to react.

“I... I guess that could work,” she stammered, trying to sound casual despite the butterflies in her stomach. She gave a large smile that she prayed didn’t look completely awkward.

Adrien chuckled softly. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll take the bathroom first if you don’t mind.”

“N-not at all.” 

When he shut the bathroom door behind him, Marinette finally released the breath she hadn’t known she had been holding. Why oh why had she let Alya talk her into this? 

Fiddling with her suitcase, she took the side closest to the window and away from the bathroom door. Needing something to do to keep her mind from spiraling, Marinette began to unpack everything into her little drawers. 

When Adrien came out of the bathroom, she couldn’t help but steal a glance over at him. Her mouth dried at the sight. He was in an adorable set of pajamas that she had never seen him wear before.

He cleared his throat and Marinette prayed he hadn’t noticed her staring. “Bathroom’s open now.”

She gave him one final grin before sprinting into the bathroom. She grabbed onto the counter, sucking in air as quickly as possible. How on earth was she mean to share a bed with him if she could barely handle seeing him in a pair of pajamas?

Finally, after a few moments of panic, Marinette managed to calm herself down. Everything was going to be fine. She’d put on her pajamas, turn off the lights, and run over to her side of the bed where she’d press herself against the very edge for the entire night. Sure, she might not get much sleep but that was a small torment she was willing to bear to share a bed with her crush.

With that plan in mind, Marinette threw on her pajamas. Slowly, she opened the door, wincing at the small creak it made. Adrien was facing away from her, curled over on his side. Breathing a quiet sigh of relief, she turned off the light.

Suddenly, the room was pitch black and she could no longer see two feet in front of her. It was fine. She knew where the bed was. Slowly, with her arms out in front of her, Marinette began shuffling over to her side of the room.

She was almost there. Her eyes had almost adjusted in the darkness and she could see the pillow awaiting her. Abandoning caution, she quickened her pace only to stub her toe directly against the edge of the bed.

Marinette squeaked in pain, grateful that she could collapse onto her side of the bed as her toe ached. She winced at the seemingly unending agony, hoping to rub some of the pain away.

The lamp flicked on at the other side of the bed and Marinette quickly had to clench her eyes shut at the sudden onslaught of light.

“Marinette, are you alright?” Adrien’s worried voice called out to her as his eyebrows furrowed over a pair of concerned emerald-green eyes.

“Yep!” she chirped, flinching again at how high-pitched her tone was. Clearing her throat, she lowered it. “Just, um, stubbed my toe.”

“Oh.” His frown deepened. “Well, are you sure you’re alright? You didn’t break it or anything, right?”

She couldn’t help but giggle, relaxing for the first time that night. “I’m really okay, Adrien. I promise. No broken toes over here.”

“Alright, if you’re sure,” he trailed off, seemingly still uncertain. “Goodnight, Marinette,” Adrien then said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Goodnight, Adrien,” she replied, her heart fluttering as he turned off the bedside lamp.

In the darkness, Marinette lay awake for a while, listening to the sound of Adrien’s steady breathing. It was surreal, being so close to him like this. She couldn’t deny the warmth that spread through her at the thought of sharing this intimate space with him.

As sleep finally began to claim her, Marinette couldn’t help but smile. Maybe this crazy plan of Alya’s hadn’t been so crazy after all.

[slowlystupendousdelusion]

Okay so Nye Round 2 (Welsh edition)

So first of all this was the first time I'd been to see anything at the WMC so it was nice to finally go in properly rather than just loitering in the foyer/ sneaking use of the loos / browsing the shop.

I was in the cheap seats for this and the view was still pretty good, but being further back means you miss out on some of the acting subtleties.

The WMC is set up slightly differently from in the NT in that the seating is pretty much all head on. At the National the stage protruded a bit and you had seats more to the side etc. This made the staging in Wales slightly more hemmed in. I was sat to the side at the NT so your vision was blocked by the curtain layout at some points (but I was closer!) I did have a better view of some of the projected images this time - I'm not sure I clocked the rib cage projections at all before.

The lack of proximity does hurt a bit when you have a large cast playing more than one role. The friend I went with came out asking who was who at certain points so maybe some clearer costume signalling would have helped.

Interestingly, the audience did seem to react differently in London vs Cardiff. It was a bit more vocal in Cardiff (some of this could be related to a difference in the price band I was sitting in too, I guess?)

The audience were clearly elated any time someone said "alright, butt" or similar. (This actually tickled me more in London because it's so very Welsh and you don't really hear it used there). They were also really thrilled with the swearing which I don't think the London crowd blinked at.

It felt like there were a lot of reactions that the cast weren't quite expecting as it didn't fall into the rhythm of the play: "We're going to Tredegarise the country" obviously got a huge round of applause (and maybe even some woops?) and they were drowned out for the next few lines.

The bit where Nye said he was going to break the Doctors' Union had a pause that lasted almost too long; for a second I wasn't sure that there would be a laugh where there definitely was one straight away for that at the National.

Rapturous applause at the eventual creation of the NHS which I think lasted longer than London.

We had a full standing ovation for the cast at the end - from where I was I didn't see anyone who remained seated. People did stand at the NT but it was nowhere near the full auditorium. (However, I had a better view of the crowd in London so this could be wrong?)

Generally I thought the acoustics were worse in the WMC, with the caveat that I was sitting further back. MS sounded as though his voice might have been a bit delicate too; there had been a matinee so I imagine two performances in one day might be wearing on it a bit at performance 90 of the run. He still sang beautifully though!

Also I had a different reaction to the play this time round - last time I felt quite melancholy by the end; despite the comparisons to the current political situation, I felt like positive change on that scale wouldn't be achievable now. This time, I did feel a bit more positive at the end; idk if this was because I knew what to expect, or maybe seeing it the day after the general election had been called put a different frame on it.

Overall it was still a worthwhile watch on second viewing, and it was nice to see with a "home crowd". The library scene is still my favourite, and I'm still blown away by Kezrena James switching effortlessly between the two accents. (I found out that neither are her natural accent?! Phenomenal.) Obviously MS was fab, the only thing I'd recommend is if you can afford tickets to be a bit closer I'd probably go for it. (Not me looking again at what tickets remain for the rest of the run)

Other notes about the WMC:

So as far as I can tell all their cheaper tickets are way up back. I think their general pricing starts lower than the NT (excluding Friday rush offers etc) but the restricted view seats at the NT give people on a tighter budget the chance to be very close to the action!

The programmes are slightly different - the NT one was cheaper (£5). The WMC one cost £7 but they obviously need to pay for the translation. You have the photos twice and it was a smarter looking package. The NT copy has an extra article about the theatre itself and more ads. Other than that I think the main content is the same.

The WMC is a lovely building and I think this may be the only time I've been to the loo in a theatre interval and there has been no queue in the ladies??! Well done architect! The place is huge and it was a bit of a hike to find the nearest bar. They do have one behind the inscription on the building where you can see out which is nice. Also I think they sold slushies which feels like a win. But I can't imagine any other theatre putting such a walk between the seats and the nearest bar 😅

Also this venue doesn't have a proper stage door. I have heard that on other productions they come out into the foyer if you stay for a drink, but I didn't stay so can't confirm if the Nye cast are doing this. I can't say I've seen any 'stage door' photos since the run started here.

[bd-murder-bird]

If you receive this, you make someone happy. Go on anonymous and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or some that you think need cheering up. If you get some back, even better. 💜💖💜💖

Ty! My anons are timed out too rn, like d4c was afflicted with... Ill do them soon

[djhedy]

what is canon and should we respect it (a not-essay on aftg fandom)

i want to write an *entire* essay on this but i am between meds right now so exhausted and suffering a HEAT WAVE (uk?? why! we are normally so temperate) and also there's always a risk of sounding patronising when trying to put your opinions/experience across, so i'll try to write briefly and wotnot

what is canon:

"the material accepted as officially part of the story in an individual universe of that story" or, as we'd probably all put it "wot the author wrote"

why this matters, and why the author matters - our characters wouldn't exist without them

beyond a basic respect for the author, which i would define as like not being a bitch to them (because every human being has feelings, and this is something easily forgotten on the internet), we land on the question "should we respect canon"

well... maybe?

it sort of depends why you're here. the experience of literature/art can be defined a few ways: what the author intended, what the reader experiences, the impact on society.

what nora intended: if you care, she's written a lot of extra content on tumblr. but given that the majority of people who read the books probably won't care enough to find the extra content, this isn't canon. it isn't canon because it isn't in the books of the story. calling it canon is gatekeeping. but it's SUPER FUN and i enjoy seeing what nora's interpretation of her own characters are. thanks nora we luv u.

the impact on society: people get SO UPSET about this question. and it's a reasonable question for sure. art does impact society and vice versa. i just kind of don't think this is the big deal you think it is. people are always hunting for signs of homophobia, sexism, transphobia etc in fandom works. and like... sure, you can do that if you'll enjoy it. this essay isn't really about this, and i don't want to ramble. but aftg is an indie publication. its impact is so insubstantial. maybe chill out. the people who are like AARON IS HOMOPHOBIC BUT ANDREW THE MURDERER IS UWU or, opposite, SETH DESERVED REDEMPTION AND MATT IS ABLEIST - my guys it's a book. these characters are flawed. literature isn't meant to be a pinnacle of morals (unless... it is) and we're supposed to love these characters because they work through their flaws and settle into who they are. are they still dicks at the end? sure! it's fun. not everything has to be light and perfect. and you'll have more fun with art if you stop hunting for homophobes in the fandom of an independent publication with a few thousand readers. that's not how to succeed at the gay agenda. we're on it, i promise.

WHAT THE READER EXPERIENCES: this is the big one! you know when you read a book or watch a film and say "oh wow so it was about THIS, THIS was the important bit!" and someone disagrees? well, they're not wrong and you're not wrong. experience is a whole thing. what someone has experienced in life before they come to the art, what they experience during the art itself. art is a communication from the creator to the audience and that communication is subtle and will be different for *every* single person.

this will upset a lot of people, but it isn't canon that neil is demisexual. the label isn't mentioned once in the books. can it be inferred? ABSOLUTELY. he's demi in all of my fanfics because i personally love it. but nora mentioning it in extra content does not make it canon, in the same way that jkr telling everyone she saw dumbledore as gay after the books, does not make it canon. #theauthorisdead (but let's still be nice to them. ...unless you're jkr. fuck jkr.)

my point is just that canon doesn’t always matter. collectively most of us have decided neil is demi, which is important rep to a lot of people without rep. how sexy of us.

and experience matters. there will be people to whom it's important to write neil as not-very-demi. there will be people to whom it's important to write neil as super ace. be kind to each other.

i've decided i need to add another heading.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF FANFICTION?

to preserve canon? no, because... nora already did that. there's a huge amount of fun to be had trying to write neil and andrew as *accurately* as possible - but this *accuracy* will be different from person to person. because a work of literature is complicated and writing is hard and - individual experience. we've already gone through that. but like, have you ever tried to write andrew's dialogue accurately, the way he speaks like he's half-high half-shakespearean?? it's DIFFICULT. i have tried.

you know what's also fun? experimenting. what would their relationship be like if neil was an alcoholic. what if andrew liked wearing dresses. what if one of them cheated. what if matt died of a drug overdose.

in my head the point of fanfiction is EXPLORATION.

sometimes you're exploring the characters as accurately to your experience of them as possible, sometimes you're adding a new element in to see how they would react. let's be honest, that new element is usually something you're obsessed with in your own life. gender presentation? why people cheat? why people relapse? why relationships break down?

anyway, back to the list.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF FANFICTION?

to dick around and have a nice time? yes.

to work through your own identities/traumas/what have you? probably if you're anything like me and basically everyone i know in the fandom lol.

i think this is everything i want to say.

no wait i lied! final point.

if you've ever studied literature or philosophy the first things they teach you is to question *everything*. for example: what is fanfiction, what is canon, "we have to respect canon" do we??

if you've heard someone using the word "feminisation" to mean "make neil soft uwu", rather than repeating the word, question why it's being used here. what does feminise mean, what does soft mean. maybe you love the dark side to neil, maybe other people like the side of him that can heal.

there's nothing wrong with playing with sexual dynamics and relationship dynamics. sometimes you might be writing something cliched, homophobic, sexist - if you work out you are doing that, maybe stop it. on the other hand lots of couples *do* play out the dynamics of - trousers on in the bedroom, trousers on in the relationship. it's not homophobic to depict a homosexual relationship where one is subby and one is dommy. it exists. so like, chill a little.

and remember you are not always right and everyone is different?

man did i accidentally make this patronising?

woops.

lots of love hedy x

[jolynej]

Hello!! I love the aesthetic of your blog 😳 is it alright if I ask for headcanons of La Squadra (If it’s too much, Risotto, Prosciutto and Ghiaccio are fine!!) with a really head strong and stubborn S/o? Like on the outside they act like they think they’re better than everyone, but really they’re just a huge dork on the inside ☺️

thank you very much!! and it’s not too much at all :) i’m not sure whether or not you wanted an s/o who was involved in the gang or not, so i did a mix of both! i hope that you like it!

Risotto, Prosciutto, and Ghiaccio With a Stubborn and Headstrong, but Dorky S/O

his somehow turned into more of a drabble than actual headcanons, woops! hope you don’t mind that it also became a little more hurt/comfort!!

Due to his position as the leader of the group, he’s used to having to work with strong personalities as each of his subordinates stand out in their own ways, and he’s appreciative of all of their strengths — yours being no exception. He also makes it a priority to become familiar with his squad member’s weaknesses so that he is better able to assign them missions and implement training regimens to improve their skills.

As his partner, he has an extra watchful eye over you and is quick to point out mistakes and areas for improvement, but don’t misunderstand his blunt remarks as ones of distaste. He owes a debt of gratitude to your confidence and your tenacity as it has come to his aid on multiple occasions, but he’s an extremely perceptive man and can pick up on little things about you that would usually go unnoticed by others. He’s a quiet, introverted man, and by nature a good listener. He picks up on little tells and mannerisms of yours and eventually pieces a few things together.

It’s after a particularly rough mission that he is able to prove his little hypothesis. You’d barely escaped with your life after the confrontation with your target went sour due to you pulling a risky move that was almost certain to end in failure; it was a complete deviation from the plan that Risotto had gone over with you. He was upset, and you were, too, as the target had gotten away, but instead of reacting in anger and immediately enacting some sort of punishment, he looked over at you from across his desk where you sat with a pout and glassy eyes, eking out an uncharacteristic apology instead of a snide remark or even an eyeroll.

He’ll still have to reprimand you for screwing up the job, but for now he was pleased to see a more vulnerable, honest side to you. “You understand that what you did was wrong, don’t you cara/o?” He looks over at you, torn between comforting you and scolding you.

Risotto is so glad to see you becoming more open and comfortable around him, but he doesn’t say much as he doesn’t want to scare you off. Instead, that evening, after you’ve been informed of the oncoming dread that is the punishment of both paperwork duty and a boring stakeout mission, he holds you a little bit closer and tells you that he loves you, which is his way of telling you that it’s okay to not be strong sometimes.

He knows that tomorrow you will bounce back to your usual self, dorky jokes and all, but for now, he’s more than content to share this private moment with you and fall asleep with your head resting on his chest, lulling you both to sleep with his hand lazily rubbing your back.

Dating a man in the mafia would be taxing on anyone, but if anyone could deal with, Prosciutto thought, it would be you — his strong, cocky, dorky partner

His views are a little more traditional, and I can see him as someone who really likes the idea of caring for others and being a provider — and he’s more than happy and willing to provide that — but at the end of the day, there’s nothing better than coming home to someone like you who isn’t afraid to challenge him and will speak their mind. He already has to pretty much babysit Pesci half the time he’s at work, and the other men can act immature and really get on his nerves, so it’s just nice to have someone he doesn’t have to put on airs around, and he finds your sassiness sexy

He worries about you, of course, but he’s well aware that you are someone who can and will put up a fight and not let yourself be taken down without resistance. Also, he is a little more inclined to share certain aspects of his job with you, as he believes that you have the emotional capacity to handle some of the more grim details — even though he still leaves the majority of it out for your sake. He likes that he doesn’t have to sugarcoat things with you, and it’s good for him to have someone to talk to

Your stubbornness and arrogance can lead to arguments, but more often than not they end up with one of you kissing the other or the cliché of daring the other person to shut up. At first, things were a little more explosive, as he is a very dominating person and was not at all used to being challenged in that sort of way, but as your relationship deepened, he grew to like your little spats and that cute glint in your eyes when you become angry

Because of your stubbornness, it may be more difficult for you to apologize, but he won’t hesitate to call you out and tell you that you’re in the wrong, and he’s very calm and level-headed about doing so. When he’s in the wrong however, he usually comes around and apologizes rather quickly, but he can be kind of petty about it. He does make it up to you though, always. One of the benefits of him being a little old-fashioned is that he’s very keen on the idea of not going to bed angry

The more caring, nurturing side of him finds your dorkiness endearing, and whether or not its a television series or movie that you’re geeking out over, or even just a goofy joke, he’s happy to indulge you and listen to what you have to say. He’s not always the most up-to-date on pop culture references or media, so he doesn’t always get what you’re talking about, but he loves you so it doesn’t really matter to him what you’re going on about (you could ramble about the history of something as inane as can openers and he’d still say “that’s interesting, Amore”) He’s a sucker for all things domestic, really

Now this relationship may be a little more turbulent then the others, as I can see the two of you being very loud, but it’s very sweet in its own way

He’s a huge hothead, and with your stubborn demeanor the two of you will most definitely butt heads, but his outbursts are something that you’ve come to expect and they’re never filled with any real malice — it’s just the way that he is. The rest of the gang like to tease you both about being an old married couple, and you think it’s cute, playfully tugging on his cheek while he’s fuming and Formaggio and Illuso are cracking up in the corner

Ghiaccio will be the type of boyfriend to feed into your ego and because you’re his s/o, everything has to be perfect for you, for you deserve nothing less in his eyes. He can and will chew out the waiter if you so much as comment on your food being dry or too salty or just not up to par

As far as your dorkiness is concerned, Ghiaccio may not always understand “what you’re going on about this time”, but he’ll still listen and try to indulge you with some commentary here and there, which will most likely come across to an unknown spectator as pure sass and displeasure, but you know better; the snark comes with the territory of dating the ice man -- and you love it

If he ever catches wind of someone making fun of you or even just making an offhand comment about you or something that you like to geek out over, then he has no qualms about going off on them

[klbwriting]

Unexpected Allies - Chapter 9

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz/female!Reader

Summary: The Dregs finally have some bonding time but its ruined

Note: So complete honesty, the second song that inspired this fic makes an appearance in this chapter and its uh ‘I2I’ from A Goofy Movie so yes, you can all imagine my surprise when I heard this play for my kids and instantly said ‘the Dregs would love this shit’ and well, I went with it, also I think I used this gif already but I love it so its appearing again

Taglist: @amwitherspoon​ @mcntsee​

Y/N spent the next day trying to catch up with everyone from her past, seeing old friends and even training the new Grisha that were volunteering for the army.  It was refreshing after being forced to play a role she hated for so many years.  She felt freer than she had in a long time and she felt herself coming out of her shell more.  She struck up an instant friendship with Nina as the women trained the up and coming Grisha and she finally asked about Kaz's time in Ketterdam more. "So in Ketterdam you were a servant?" Y/N asked, staring at Nina surprised.  "And I knew Kaz was in the Dregs but he wasn't the actual leader?" "I was an indenture," Nina corrected.  "And no, Kaz was second in command to Per Haskell and well, I guess since Per didn't survive the assault Kaz is sort of in charge now.  He probably said he was in charge to impress you."   Y/N blushed and tried to brush it off. "I don't think Kaz goes around thinking about how to impress me," she said, sitting down at the dinner table with her plate of food.  Nina smiled and shook her head. "Look, we all know that you and Kaz have a thing, Jesper can't keep his mouth shut, but we've all agreed that we don't want to say anything because no one wants to die by caning," she said.  "So yes, Kaz Brekker thinks about impressing you, and apparently stalks you since that's about the 6th time I've seen him looking at you since lunch."  She nodded her head towards the line for food where Kaz was standing.  When Y/N looked and saw him he looked at Matthias as if he had been listening to what the giant was saying.   Y/N shook her head and looked back at Nina.  "I'm impressed that you somehow broke through that icy wall he has around him." "I don't think I broke it, feels kind of like I just found a small door and crawled through," she said.  "I mostly just want him to be happy, well as close to happy as Kaz Brekker gets.  Though I'm not made of kruge so I doubt he's that happy." "Who knows, maybe he likes you more than kruge," Nina said.  Both women started laughing, drawing some attention to themselves.  Jesper and Inej soon joined them with Wylan coming soon after.  Matthias was next and finally Kaz.  He approached the table and cleared his throat.  Wylan looked up from his spot next to Y/N.   "What?" he asked, noticing the murderous look on Kaz's face.   Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled.   "Move merchling before he gets angry," Jesper said, pulling Wylan closer to him.   "I don't know how you tell...he always looks angry," the boy grumbled as he started eating.   Y/N saw Kaz throw him a look before he started eating himself.  

A few minutes into the conversation about the possible job that was going to be given to the Dregs Wylan threw a hand up and it smacked Kaz's shoulder.  Kaz had let down his guard some, not really paying attention and didn't expect the interaction.  He paled and felt a little dizzy for a moment, the world going a little fuzzy.  He hadn't had an incident like this in a long time.  He had come to expect the small bumps and touches from others and braced himself all the time for them.  Now however, after the journey and him having held hands with Y/N last night, he had let down that guard thinking he was getting better, but this proved him wrong.  No one else seemed to notice that he was struggling and he was glad, he didn't want them to see his weakness so clearly on display.  He had to recover quick but at the moment he didn't know how, his vision wasn't refocusing and he could feel his chest closing, feeling sickness rising in him.   "Kaz, listen to me."  Her voice, he heard it in his head.  At least he thought that's where it was.  "Breathe.  Breathe again.  One more time.  Now close your eyes and open them.  Look at me."  He did as she said and when he opened his eyes and looked at her he saw they were alone at the table.  She smiled at him.  "I told them you were still tired from the journey, they went to set up a fire circle for tonight, asked for us newcomers to join them."   "Alright," Kaz said.  He was still focusing on her voice, letting her talk and letting the sound ground him.  From the way she was looking at him he thought that she knew what he was thinking so she kept on the conversation for them both.  They wanted her to bring her guitar, wanted to hear her sing something.  She hoped she didn't embarrass him with her song choice, it was going to be a silly thing she had written while in school.   "Do you think you can stand and walk, they're waving us over now," she said.  He hadn't realized it had gotten truly dark already.  He was going to need to be better about keeping  his guard up, he couldn't let something like that happen again.  He nodded and stood, leaning more on his cane then normal.   Y/N rose and kept a good distance between them, giving him space that he desperately needed and he appreciated her for it.  They worked their way to the other Dregs and sat on seats around a roaring fire.

"Could have used your help with this thing Miss Inferni" Matthias said, giving her an annoyed look.  Nina elbowed him in the ribs.   "I could light your coat on fire if you really want to use my powers like I'm a trained dog," Y/N shot back, sitting down.  Jesper had run to her tent and gotten her guitar.  He sat down and handed it to her.  Kaz sat down next to her and she felt his mood shift, his panic attack was over and he was back.  He looked at her and nodded, confirming he was alright and she nodded back. "Play the song, I think we all want to hear it," Wylan said.  The others murmured agreement and Y/N blushed.  This song was so dumb and she was going to be mortified but she had promised. "Alright so remember I wrote this when I was around 14 so its going to sound like silly fantasy nonsense," she said.  She tuned the guitar a little bit to make it sound brighter and started playing.  It was more upbeat than anything she had played recently and she was really struggling with getting the rhythm down until she heard someone playing what sounded like drums near her.  She looked up and Wylan had a bowl and some spoons and was making a beat for her to play too.  'Thank you' she mouthed to him and he smiled brightly back as he kept playing.  She finally found the beat and started to sing.

"I got myself a notion, one I know that you'll understand To set the world in motion by reaching out for each other's hand"

She teasingly reached out to Kaz, a smile on her face so he knew she was playing.  She expected him to blow her off, roll his eyes and look away, but to her surprise he actually squeezed her hand for just a moment before pulling back.  She felt her heart do a little leap in her chest.  It was one thing for him to touch her in private, where no one could see, but out here with friends was another story, he was comfortable with her and was showing it around others.  The others didn't seem to notice as they were having fun moving in their seats, sometimes making wooping noises to the music as she kept singing about love saving the world.  It was silly but it made everyone smile and that was what she was hoping to do.  They deserved this time to bond as friends again. As the song ended they heard a mocking clapping from nearby.   Y/N turned to look at who was ruining this moment and saw an older man who looked rough, and well, his eyes held evil in them, covered in a thin layer of cruelty.   "That was lovely, just so sweet to see the Dregs back together," he said, voice light, like he was talking to old friends.  Inej stood up, folding her arms. "Not now Rollins, we will speak later," she said.  It clicked for Y/N who this was.  Pekka Rollins.  The man who had nearly destroyed Kaz.  Rage roared inside her and she stood abruptly.  She could feel the anger radiating off of Kaz next to her but he was controlling himself, biding his time.

"O, want to give me a private show little lady?" Pekka said.  This brought Kaz to his feet.  He had felt more then seen the rage that had filled Y/N when she realized who this was.  He was practiced at containing his malice for Rollins but she wasn't.  When she stood he stayed seated, hoping that Rollins would just finish whatever business he came here for and then leave.  Apparently that wasn't going to happen. "What business?" Kaz asked like they were in Ketterdam again.  He figured that's not how things worked around here but it would hopefully remind Rollins of whatever he came here to do.  Rollins laughed. "Living in the past my friend, time to catch up.  I just came to thank you Brekker, breaking me out of that Fjerda prison saved my life.  If I hadn't be escaping I wouldn't have heard those Second Army shits talking about demolishing Ketterdam.  Thanks to you I got most of my crew out, sorry about yours though, shame you couldn't get them out," he said.  Kaz took a deep breath, remembering that his time to kill Rollins was fast approaching.  He would do it in secret of course, take his time in the night and make sure that by morning the body would be unrecognizable.  This mantra kept Kaz from striking the bastard right here.  But it didn't keep Y/N at bay.   Before anyone could react she threw a large rock right at Rollins's face, cracking him in the nose.  Blood poured and he cried out in anger and pain. "You bitch!" he said.   Y/N had a fireball in her hand ready to fire. "Leave now, your business here is finished," she said, becoming every inch the Darkling's second in that moment.  Kaz could see her where someone evil, someone like him, could trust her, deep inside she was the same, she just worked to suppress those traits while he relished in them.  Rollins took the hint and walked away, some of his crewmates coming over to help, glaring at Y/N as they left.   Kaz and Y/N sat down again and they looked at each other.  He was asking her to help him kill Pekka Rollins, tonight, without saying a word.  She understood him completely and nodded. "Tonight," she said.  He wished she hadn't spoken it aloud but it didn't really matter. "You can't kill him Kaz," Inej said.  He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "His death is mine to collect," he said.  "I call the shots for the Dregs and I saw when I take a life."  Inej took a breath and he saw her change, her demeanor becoming one of a leader, ready to compete with him instead of work under him. "It doesn't work like that here Brekker," she said.  "Pekka Rollins did get most of his crew out so our people from Ketterdam joined together, everyone was a Dime Lion or a Dreg and we were forced to become partners.  If you kill Pekka Rollins then those sides will start infighting and this resistance already has enough of that.  Leave him be, a Dreg cannot kill a Dime Lion."  Kaz gripped his cane tight and stood, turning and walking a few steps.  He stopped and glanced back, knowing that Y/N was following him.  He let her catch up to him and they walked back to his tent. "I have a plan," she said as they entered.  Kaz looked at her a little surprised and a little proud.   "Let's hear it," he said.  He knew they probably were thinking of the same plan but he would let her have the credit for it. "I'll get Rollins, if I had to subdue him I will but with how he looked at me I think he'll come willingly.  We got out of camp and then you can have your revenge.  I'll burn the body after.  If he's found everyone will think I did it and after my display tonight I'm sure no one would be surprised.  I'll make sure to distance myself from you and the Dregs out there, make sure they can't pin it on you guys," she said.  Kaz smirked and nodded. Well, think you can work your magic in about an hour?  Head out of the camp and go east, I heard there's a hut there for skinning animals, I think I'll borrow it," Kaz said, feeling the sick thrill of knowing he was going to do something truly horrifying.  

[talesofesther]

Anchor - Part 6

Five Hargreeves x Reader

Masterlist with the other parts

See part one for important notes

A/N: Woop here I am releasing the new part earlier because I finished writing it and I'm a nice gal. So, I think this part is significantly smaller than the last one, but I wanted it to end where it did. Also, for some reason it was a bit harder for me to write this part, I don't know why. But I hope it's not too awful and you guys like it anyway. Plus, Five has no idea of how to control his feelings, poor boy ksjdkjsd.  If you wanna be added to the tag list, let me know. ♥

“That woman we met before we went to the theater in 2019. She called you an assassin… Is that true?” Y/N asked carefully, trying not to break the almost peaceful aura of the room. A part of her didn’t want to know the answer, unsure of how things would be once she did. But she needed to know.

Five closed his eyes once again. That was the one question he wished she wouldn’t ask.

The boy let out a shaky breath. Why was he so nervous? He wasn't like this when he talked about it with Luther, why is he like this now? Maybe it was the fact that he didn't have to worry about Luther leaving, him being his brother and all. But her, she had that choice. Y/N had the choice to never look him in the face again. And that terrified him for some reason.

But seeing as he didn't have a way out now, he preceded to tell Y/N everything. Five's voice was uncharacteristically soft and cautious. He told her that the woman they had met, The Handler, found him in the apocalypse and offered him a job. He told her how they transformed him into an instrument of correcting the timeline by killing. How this was his only way of surviving until he could figure out his equation and get back to 2019. He told her everything. And all the while Y/N was just staring intently at him. Sometimes she would furrow her brows while processing some information, but other than that, there was no reaction.

"I was good at what I did. But I never enjoyed it". Five added as soon as he finished his explanation. He moved uncomfortably on his seat on the couch, anxiously waiting for some kind of reaction from Y/N. He didn't even realize he was griping his shorts in nervousness like a teenage boy talking to his crush.

"So you really are an assassin" Y/N whispered, more to herself than to him. She looked up at the ceiling, took a deep breath, and looked down at her hands. "A hitman".

"I was. Yes" Five's voice was so low that if she hadn't been sitting next to him she wouldn't have heard it. Like he himself didn't want to accept this as his reality.

Y/N let out another sigh as she risked a look up at his face. Five looked troubled, his eyes never left her face and he seemed like he was clenching his teeth in anxiousness or anticipation. For what? She thought. What does he think I'll do? I don't even know myself.

That was true. Y/N had no idea how to react, or what to say to all of this. What do you do when someone tells you they're an assassin? That they literally take human lives?

You run, scared for your own life? But Y/N didn't want to be scared of him. Despite his serious facade, Five was proving to be a sweet person. Maybe a bit socially awkward, but sweet.

Do you go to the police? Because killing is so very wrong? But Y/N knew that accepting that job was the only way Five could stay alive. It was the only way he could get back to 2019, to save his family. And come to think of it, she would be dead too if he hadn't come back to stop the apocalypse.

This was all way too much to process. Y/N's thoughts were starting to get conflicted. She needed time.

"Did you kill innocent people too?" The girl asked him.

"Sometimes" was all Five could answer. He knew there was no reason to lie now.

Y/N almost felt an urge to hug the boy again. He looked so lost right now. His big eyes were looking at her intently, pleading for her to understand, and they were shining. Shining in the yellow light coming from the street. Y/N could get lost in those eyes, and she almost did, but she needed time.

She just nodded at him and averted her gaze.

Five gulped and looked away from her as well. Understanding her silent demand. That was it then. He presumed she was now scared of him or something, but then, who wouldn't? She wasn't his for him to lose her, and yet he felt like he had. She clearly didn't want anything to do with him anymore, right? For the first time, Five acknowledged how broke and tainted he really was. The apocalypse was everything he knew, once that was over, he had no idea what to do with himself. And now he realized that no one would ever care enough about him to help him figure it out. He was a killer, a person that grew up alone and had probably too much traumatic baggage to carry. And no one would want to deal with that.

Ignoring his quivering lip and the annoying tears prickling at his eyes, Five got up and teleported away. Y/N's rejection hurt him way more than he would care to admit.

_________

Y/N woke up the next morning hearing distant voices talking in the living room. The first thing she felt was her back hurting from sleeping on the couch all night.

After Five just teleported away without even saying goodnight, Y/N took the time to think about the things he had told her. She would be lying if she said that Five admitting that he killed people didn't worry her. But she eventually came to the conclusion that he had no other options and she would have probably done the same in his place. So all in all, she accepted it. It was definitely a lot to take in, but she knew that Five was a good person. And she trusted him.

The girl slowly sat up and stretched, her eyes slowly adjusting to the sunlight that was coming through the windows. Elliott's place was still a mess, but she soon saw him and Five talking in the corner.

"Can you develop it or not?" Five asked with an impatient voice.

"Sure" Elliott answered while he ate his cereal.

"How long?" Five said as his eyes drifted to Y/N's moving form getting up from the couch. His demeanor suddenly becoming tense.

"Maybe five, six hours" Elliott said as he followed Five's stare to Y/N's direction. "Morning girl". He lifted up his spoon to her.

"It's Y/N" she saluted him. "Morning Elliott".

Y/N got up and started walking towards them. Five abruptly turned away and drove his attention to all the papers pinned to the walls, all of Elliott's theories suddenly becoming very interesting as he did his best to ignore Y/N's presence.

"Um hey Elliott, do you still have some of this cereal left?" The girl asked while she tried to make her hair more presentable, pointing to what Elliott was eating.

"Sure. I'll get some for you" and so he disappeared into the kitchen.

"Thank you" the girl called to him.

Then she turned her eyes to Five, who was standing in front of her, but had his back to her. His shoulders were definitely too tense for this early in the morning.

"Good morning Five, did you sleep well?" Y/N tried to sound as casual as possible. Maybe not addressing the whole assassin thing would be better? She made her way to stay right beside him, their shoulders brushing. The boy became even tenser if that was even possible. His eyes intensely staring into a random newspaper article.

No. Five wanted to answer, he didn't sleep well at all. His night was plagued by nightmares, as usual. He couldn't say he was used to them, he didn't think he ever would be, but he knew they would come every night. But last night Y/N had made an appearance in them, it wasn't a pleasant one, and that's something he wasn't expecting. So no, he didn't sleep well.

He could have said that to her. For a moment he wondered what she would say if he did. But he didn't. Five stayed silent, doing his best to ignore the many questions in his head of why she was standing so close. His fingertips were slowly tracing the wood of the table in front of them.

"Hey, are you okay?" Y/N's gentle voice appeared again.

Why does she always have to ask that? Five thought as he put a distance between them and walked to the middle of the room. He presumed she was just being her usual kind self. Because now his presence probably made her uneasy, right? So despite wanting to be close to her and talk, Five moved away. The last thing he wanted was to scare her away... Even more.

"Fine" he answered in the most emotionless voice.

Why he still has the need to lie to me? Y/N thought as she turned around to look at him once again. Bracing her back on the table and crossing her arms.

"Okay then. Listen, I think we should-" the girl couldn't complete her sentence because the radio cut her off.

'Attention all units, we have a code 3-15 at the Holbrook sanitarium'

At the same time, Elliott entered the room again, a new bowl of cereal in his hands.

"The hell is a code 3-15?" Five's attention was now fully on the radio as he asked Elliott about it.

"Fugitives on the run" the weird man answered as he handed Y/N the bowl of cereal. She took it gratefully, muttering thanks to Elliott as she put a spoonful on her mouth. She was quite hungry.

"Oh, Diego" Five whispered as he braced himself in front of the radio. "Elliott you get started on that film. I'll be back as soon as I can" he said as he was already walking out of the room.

"No no. Wait, Five. I'll go with.." Y/N hurriedly walked after him, almost spilling the cereal on herself "... You" she finished just as she saw a flash of blue. And he was gone again.

The girl groaned, annoyed "I swear, this boy... Is getting on my nerves" her knuckles holding the spoon turned white.

"Is he always like this?" Elliott appeared behind her.

"Yeah, I'm starting to think he is" Y/N sighed. Something was up with Five today, she was going to figure out what it was.

_________

Well, Y/N's position at the moment was... Not ideal. Apparently whatever there was in the film that Five asked Elliott to develop was enough to freak him out to the point where he ended up tying Y/N to the railings that overlooked the bottom floor. She tried to reason with him, but he was pretty insistent. He looked truly scared so she didn't really fight him when he made his way to tie her up, she knew that as soon as Five came back, she would be free again. Poor Elliott had nothing to do with this and was already losing his mind.

And sure enough, not long after, Five arrived with Diego and another woman. Y/N didn't think she would be this happy at seeing Diego, but she was so glad to see that he was okay. And his hair was bigger too, she liked it.

Y/N winced when Elliott's rifle shot the ceiling, Five had easily teleported in front of him making him do so. Diego soon followed and took the weapon out of the man's hands.

Not even a second later, Five was standing in front of Y/N. "Did he hurt you?" His voice was low, only for her to hear. One of his hands came up to lightly touch her cheek. His eyes frantically looked over her entire body in search of injuries, his expression one of pure concern.

"No, I'm okay" Y/N answered him in just a whisper. Her gaze was fixated on him. He was so close, his fingertips lightly brushing her left cheek. Her brows furrowed at his actions as she analyzed his face. What is up with him? In the morning he was so distant and now this?

Only when Five met her eyes that he realized what he was doing. The boy sucked in a harsh breath and suddenly removed his hand from her face. His now slightly shaking hands working on untying Y/N from the railings. Five kicked himself mentally. What was that? He was so worried that Elliott maybe had done something to Y/N that he just... Didn't think. Five would have never invaded her space like that, especially not after last night. But as soon as he saw her, his body seemed to move on his own towards the girl. She was making him lose control and that was not good, he needed to stay focused.

With her hands now free, Y/N rubbed her sore wrists. Her eyes were still landed on Five, and the boy already looked deep in thought. But most of all, Y/N realized that he looked utterly confused. She had no idea why he was acting so strange lately, but now it seemed like he was just as lost as she was.

When Five started to move away from her. Y/N was finally able to grab his hand and stop him. As soon as he felt her soft hand holding his one, he froze.

"Five, wait. I think we should talk"

Five gulped. Everything felt so tender, so real.

"Please don't" his voice was nothing but a whisper. Please don't give me hope that you care. Please don't make me yearn for something that I can't have.

And when Y/N saw the look in his eyes. She let go.

***

Thank you for reading ♥ the next part should be out soon. And if you have any idea about how this story should progress or anything you would like to see in it, please send me an ask or message and I’d be happy to include it. ♥

Taglist

@alexander-hamilhoe​ @noneyeahbusiness​ @anapocalypseinmymind​ @yikes-matey​ @vicfull​ @flowertoty​ @shlokage​ @flaminghotcheetoos​ @moneyyhoneyyy​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @nappinggecko​ @megasimpleplan4ever​ @precious-parkerr​ @greeknerd007​ 

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 34

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, please don't ask me what part 

A/N: Woop, not as long a wait as earlier! I am kind of surprised that this chapter ended up being easier for me to write than the previous one despite the emotional stuff L&C are talking about in it. But I'm also extremely happy I got it done!

Hmmm, should I say anything else? I guess I just hope you guys enjoy this monster chapter! (almost 5k words, a lot for me) And please, please let me know what you think of this chapter because I really, /really/ want to know!

Words: 4900+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

It took Calypso a while to collect herself after her breakdown. On one hand, she felt bad that she had yelled at Leo like that, especially in front of Georgina. But on the other hand, she felt he had deserved it. When Leo had asked her if something was wrong, she had already been emotional because of the song and the feelings it had made her realize. When she added the frustrations caused by the ‘present incident’ and also her fear for her future and what her father might do to that, she was kind of surprised that she had managed to stay calm even that long.

After she had made sure that the redness on her face had faded a bit and she would be able to speak in a normal tone, she finally joined Leo’s family who had just started preparing the dinner. Leo himself wasn’t present; apparently Festus had been expecting a long Christmas walk, but Calypso still wondered briefly if that was only an excuse. Luckily she did quite enjoy cooking while listening to Jo and Emmie’s stories because that gave her something else to think about.

The dinner guests arrived about an hour later. Among them was a man named ‘Lit’ (Calypso had to raise her eyebrow at the nickname), who apparently took care of an actual living elephant among other things. With him was the ‘Golden Haired Dude’ whom Georgina had mentioned earlier, only he had dyed his hair brown recently. He introduced himself as Lester and he mentioned liking music, which piqued Calypso’s interest but she didn’t have a chance to ask more about it during the dinner. The two had also brought Lester’s young ‘master’ Meg with them. Calypso was still too distraught by the earlier events to really focus on getting to know those people better, but somehow they, especially the two men, seemed to be even louder than Leo was usually. Meg seemed nice, though, and Calypso found out that they shared an interest in gardening. She still noticed wishing that the dinner would be over fast so she could just withdraw into her room and try to calm down a bit.

***

”Alright, what’s going on here?”

Jo and Emmie dragged Leo and Calypso out of the dining room after the dinner. Calypso didn’t understand why; they had managed to behave perfectly neutrally while the guests had been there, at least in her opinion. Well, honestly speaking neither of them had talked much - mostly when they were asked some standard questions like ‘what do you study again?’ - but that was probably for the best. Otherwise Calypso might have said something she would have regretted.

“What do you mean?” Leo asked Jo defensively. “It’s not like I step danced on the dining table or anything like that! We were behaving just fine!”

“Mr. Valdez,” Jo used her most threatening voice, which actually intimidated even Calypso who had gotten used to many kinds of threatening in the past. “In your case that means that something is definitely going on. I have not gone through a single Christmas dinner with you where you haven’t tried to tell at least one of your favorite Santa jokes. And yes, don’t think we have just forgotten what happened this morning.”

“Besides, Calypso’s eyes have been red since this afternoon,” Emmie added. So she had noticed, Calypso sighed in her mind. She had made sure to wash her face carefully with cool water after her little mental breakdown and had even added some concealer under her eyes to hide the redness but of course these two wouldn’t miss a thing.

“And we did notice your glares at the table,” Jo finally finished the chastising.

“Listen, moms.” Leo crossed his arms. “I appreciate you trying to help but this is between Cal and me.”

“Alright,” Jo said. “Then how about you try to deal with it while doing the dishes.”

“Wait, what?” Leo protested. “Georgie needs my help with building the 1000 piece puzzle she got from the neighbors; I promised her I would…”

“Georgina can wait,” Emmie said firmly. “Leo, Calypso is our guest and no matter what your issue is, you two are adults and you should be able to talk it out maturely.”

Calypso had already learned to know the two women well enough to be able to tell that once they had decided something, you wouldn’t be able to change their minds easily. She too did want to protest because this was not how she wanted to do her ‘grand talk’ with Leo, but it seemed rather pointless. They really did need to talk, and the sooner they’d get it done, the sooner they might be able to find some sort of normalcy in their situation. Maybe. Calypso didn’t think their relationship had ever been particularly ‘normal’.

“Alright, we’ll do the dishes,” she said eventually. “But I don’t know what happens after that. I guess it depends.”

“Hmm, I guess we can’t ask more than that,” Emmie nodded. “OK, we’ll leave you two to it. And if anything breaks, remember, you will be replacing it!” she referred to the fancier dinnerware they had been using that day.

“As if I would even dream of breaking your plates,” Leo mumbled when his mothers were already on their way out of the room. Calypso almost snorted at his comment before she remembered that she was mad at him, and simply made a sound that was a bit like a sneeze.

An awkward silence fell in the room once the flatmates were alone.

“Well…” Calypso finally broke it after they had been scrubbing the dishes for several minutes without saying anything.

“Yeah…?”

“Are we going to talk about what happened today or not?” She folded her arms, dropping some soap water on the floor in the process.

“I don’t know, are we?” Leo attempted to provoke her, but he was lacking his usual spunk. When Calypso kept glaring at him, he finally sighed. “Listen. I know I acted like an idiot earlier. What else is new? But the thing is, this day is just… always getting to me. I can’t help it. I know it sounds pathetic, but…”

Leo was stopped by Calypso’s hand around his wrist. “I know what happened to your mother. I mean, the full story. Jo and Emmie told me. What happened was really, really horrible, but that doesn’t excuse you yelling like that when I was only trying to help. You also really made us worry when you ran away like that. I was afraid something was going to happen to you! And when you came back, you were acting like nothing had happened! Can you imagine how frustrated that made me feel?” Nearly tears in her eyes again, she finished. “It made me feel that you don’t care about us!”

“Calypso, calm down! I’m sorry, OK?” Leo raised his voice. “Yeah, I was selfish. And yeah, I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I didn’t think much at that point. I know it doesn’t excuse what I did but let me at least explain why I did what I did before you blow up the whole house.”

“Alright,” Calypso gave in. “Do explain.”

“Every day since my mom died…” Leo started, emphasizing the two first words, “I’ve been feeling guilty about her death. Some days I feel better, but it’s always worse during Christmases. Because that’s when she died.”

Calypso had a feeling that Leo wanted to say more, so she waited quietly, trying to look encouraging.

“This morning, before our present opening, I had a nightmare. Yeah, you probably already guessed what it was about. I saw how the fire started - I had left my blueprints too close to the fireplace and it just… spread - and how the policeman told me my mom had gone inside the house when… when I was lying unconsciously in our backyard. She had been looking for me because she didn’t know I had managed to escape.” He tried to clear his throat but his voice was still cracking when he finished: “My mom was my only family and she died because I was stupid and careless.”

While Calypso and Leo had had plenty of arguments in the past, she had rarely seen him as bitter as when he said those final words. It seemed as if he was in physical pain because he was so angry at himself. She wanted to say something encouraging, but she knew from experience that there was nothing that she could say in a situation like that that could make it better. Kind words didn’t bring the people you loved back. She did, however, try to show with gestures that she understood – she really did – and she moved closer to him, gently putting her hand on his shoulder.

Leo attempted to collect himself for a moment before he continued, blinking his eyes furiously: “It didn’t help me mentally that my aunt was forced to take me in after the fire. You can probably imagine her reaction. “You mutt, you really think you deserve to live after what happened to your mother?” Yeah. That happened. She told that to an 8-year-old boy. I’m almost thankful to her that she did eventually send me to a foster home. Only almost though.”

Calypso remembered his stories of the foster homes he had been in and understood what he meant.

“I hope that this explains why I don’t want to deal with fire now. Not because I’m afraid of the fire itself. But because I’m afraid of what it could do to people I love. So, yeah, that is why I was not thrilled to get those matches on this particular day.”

Calypso had to admit that after hearing the story from Leo himself, his reaction made more sense.

“I’m… sorry. About what happened to you and about the matches. I really picked an awful time to give them to you. But I still wish you had told me all that earlier instead of just waiting to blow up. And I never meant anything hurtful; I didn’t mean you need to use them any time soon… I just wanted to show you that I have faith in you. Because I do!

Leo was quiet for a while.

“Yeah… I know you were only trying to help,” he sighed finally. “I don’t know. I had such a good day yesterday and then one night turned it upside down. It’s not your fault. Some things… just had been building inside me for too long.”

“I know how you feel,” Calypso said quietly.

“You do?” Leo asked.

“Yeah. Um, I think it’s my turn to open up about some things. You told me your story so I should do the same.”

“Okay, go on,” he encouraged, seeming curious even though he was still visibly upset.

Calypso took a moment to decide where to start from. “As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been battling with some ghosts of my past for a long time now, and this fall has been quite a rollercoaster for me emotionally.”

Leo nodded at her.

“I thought that when I would move out… escape from my father’s mansion… I could just put all that behind me and start from the beginning. And in a way I was able to do that. I do enjoy living here. I like my studies – even though it has been very different compared to what I did at home… sometimes difficult... but I’ve never been one to sit around when I know I have work to do so I. That’s the way I’ve been raised.”

She looked up from her hands. “I’m also really grateful that I’ve met all the wonderful people who have become my friends here. Yeah, believe it or not, you included. But… All that makes my fear even stronger. I’m afraid that it all will be taken from me again.”

Leo frowned. “I don’t understand now. Why would that happen? Is it because of your father? You mentioned something about that once.”

Calypso was on the verge of tears again but she bit her lip and tried to put herself together. “I… I did something awful when I was 16… and my father wants to make sure that no one will ever hear about it.”

“What happened?” Leo asked.

“I… had some… um, relationship issues, for the lack of a better word. My boyfriend of that time had discovered that his previous girlfriend had moved back to New York, and, surprise, he wanted to end our relationship. He wasn’t the first to do that. That’s what always happened. They always had someone who was more important to them than me.” Calypso rubbed her forehead tiredly. “I was pretty down after that because the 16-year-old me thought that no one would care about me.”

Leo looked at her with a ‘that’s bullshit’ kind of expression, but for once he said nothing. She could still see that he had sympathy in his eyes.

“So, one day pretty soon after that guy went back to his ex, I was invited to a party. Most of the people there were a bit older than me so yeah, there was alcohol involved. I was shy and still really upset about what had recently happened to me so I thought that maybe a drink or two would make me feel better. But I drank way more than that because I just wanted to forget about everything for a while. Someone at the party knew my big sister Zoë and thought that it would be the best for me if she’d come to get me home before something bad happened to me. Well, ironically…” Calypso’s vision started blurring as she attempted to finish the sentence. “Zoë would probably still be here if she hadn’t come to pick me up.”

She swiped her face into her hand very ungracefully and sniffed a couple of times before she was able to continue.

“So… she arrived and when we got into the car, she naturally started scolding me. I don’t remember anymore what exactly she said but I know I deserved it. But at that moment I was being an idiot so of course we got into an argument. And she didn’t…” She couldn’t hold the tears in any longer, instinctively searching for support from Leo’s shoulder.

“It’s OK, Cal… You don’t have to tell me more if you don’t want to,” Leo tried to calm her down, awkwardly patting her back.

“Can you hand me some of that paper towel?” she sobbed when she managed to get some words out of her mouth, pointing at the roll on the table. “I must look like a mess.”

Leo attempted to give her an encouraging smile even though Calypso knew that must have been hard because he was probably feeling as bad as she was on the inside.

“R-right, here,” he said and pulled one piece of the paper towel from the roll, handing it to her.

“Thanks,” Calypso mumbled and swept her nose and cheeks into the paper.

“No problem.”

Calypso chuckled at the irony of the situation while she was attempting to dry the last tears. “Why is it that I was the one who was worried about you… and now I’m the one who ended up crying?”

“Guess we’re both pretty messed up,” Leo concluded for her. “But it’s OK. We can… you know… try to support each other?” It was more of a question than a statement, and Calypso assumed Leo was still unsure if she’d let him stay in her life.

“Yeah… maybe we can. But, um… I should finish my story.”

“Take your time.” Leo nodded at her.

“So…” she finally said. “We were fighting. And she got so distracted that she… I mean, neither of us… noticed that there was a car coming really fast from behind a curve and the road was pretty narrow and… before she had time to brake… the car hit us.”

Calypso’s heart was still beating rapidly when she remembered that situation, but taking a couple of deep breaths, she managed to avoid another crying fit. A couple of tears fell on her cheeks but her voice turned angry rather than sad.

“She… she died almost instantly. I don’t know how I got so lucky that I ended up with only a couple of broken bones and bruises. The driver of the other car was injured quite badly but from what I heard, also survived. I bet my father was relieved about that,” she finished bitterly.

“Cal…” Leo tried to say something but she interrupted him.

“If you say your mother’s death was your fault, so was Zoë’s death my fault. She would still be here if I hadn’t messed up at that party. She would still be here if we hadn’t been arguing on the road. So, I know exactly how you feel.”

“Yeah… there are some similarities there…” Leo admitted. “But I don’t think it was your fault. It was an accident.”

“Similarly to what happened to your mom,” Calypso noted.

Leo decided to not continue with that topic. “One question: how does your father have anything to do with this?”

Calypso sighed out of frustration. “I told you once that he basically…” She decided to change her approach. “Um, after that accident he didn’t let me go anywhere anymore, especially unsupervised because if someone had found out that I had something to do with my sister’s death… that would probably have ruined his career. Instead…” she said darkly, “he was able to take advantage of people’s sympathy. ‘Oww, poor Mister Astal… he must have been devastated after such a loss!’ But you know what?! I know… he couldn’t have cared less. The only thing that man cares about is his money and power.”

Calypso noticed that Leo was clenching his jaw. “I… I haven’t even met the guy but I really, really hate him. Trust me, I’d punch him in the face if I happened to meet him. Hard. But honestly, I think he deserves way more than that. He’d deserve…”

Leo proceeded to tell Calypso what exactly he thought her father would deserve, and weirdly enough, somehow that made her feel slightly better. Sure, nothing would ever give her back the years she had lost because of him. But at least she knew she had people on her side, and that was the most she could ask for in her situation.

“Even though I support your plan 100%... which by the way isn’t something I expected to say… I’d prefer it if you never, ever had to meet him.” Calypso shook her head. “I’ve already told you that he is capable of ruining lives if he wants to.”

“And I’ve already told you that I don’t care,” Leo said challengingly.

“Yeah, but I do!” Calypso exclaimed angrily. “How do you think I’d feel if he hurt you, because of me?”

That finally stopped Leo from arguing with her. Maybe he realized that he would feel just as awful if something happened to her.

“Okay. I won’t be hunting him down right now. But I’m still sticking to what I said after the Halloween party. If he ever does anything to you, know that I will help you. No matter what it costs.” Calypso looked at him with awe. No one had told her before that they’d be willing to risk so much for her sake.

“Why… why would you do that for me?” she whispered.

Fire was burning in Leo’s eyes. Maybe because he was angry… maybe for some other reason too. Before Calypso could prepare herself, he announced without hesitation:

“Because I love you, Cal! It’s as simple as that!”

There. The words Calypso had been both hoping and dreading to hear were out now, and there was no way to take them back. She couldn’t say she was completely surprised by his confession after everything that had happened since Halloween, but still… to hear him say it aloud… it still felt different than just knowing that it might be the case. Only a few hours earlier she herself had come to accept the fact that her own feelings were deeper than just some regular crush, and now this… She felt extremely overwhelmed.

“Don’t say that,” Calypso mumbled, not able to look him in the eyes at that moment. “I’ve heard people tell that to me before… and they’ve never meant it…”

“Yeah, but I do!” Leo kept insisting. “You should know me well enough by now to know that I don’t say things I don’t mean!”

Finally, Calypso lifted her eyes from her hands to Leo’s face. He was watching her with a dead serious expression, but at closer look she noticed that there was also a certain softness, gentleness in his eyes. The kind that made her knees feel weak.

“I know that,” she said quietly, and before she could stop herself, she stepped closer to Leo and took the towel he had been using to dry the dishes from his hands and threw it on the table. Her heart was racing and she felt a bit shaky, but she moved even closer, leaving only a couple of centimeters between them. Before she progressed from there, though, she very lightly brushed his cheek with her thumb, stopping at the corner of his lip, to let him know of her intentions. For a moment he just stared at her dumbfounded before nodding slightly while blushing furiously, and that was the only sign she needed. Moving both of her hands to the sides of his face, she rose on her tiptoes and kissed him fully on the mouth.

Calypso still remembered how the kisses she had previously experienced had often felt like the other one had been in a rush to get somewhere, possibly out of his real love interest’s sight. But this time was different. When their lips touched, Leo froze for one moment (Calypso hoped it was because he was thinking ‘whoa, can’t believe this is happening!’ and not because he was horrified), but he quickly recovered from that and responded, at first slowly, lightly, but when she kept encouraging him, he got more eager. Before he got ahead of himself, though, he stopped and looked at her straight into eyes as if to ask if it was OK. That was how Calypso knew that he wanted this just as much as she did.

“Keep going,” she whispered, and Leo did what he was told to do. He pressed his lips firmly against hers and sunk his fingers into her hair, sending sparks down Calypso’s spine. Warmth spread through her entire body when he tilted her head slightly to get better access to her lips and deepened the kiss. She was surprised by how soft his lips felt against her mouth (for some reason when she had been picturing this situation – which, yes, had happened more than once, she had to admit to herself – she had imagined them a bit rough, like his hands) and she felt a little light headed as Leo’s tongue gently poke her lips to ask her to part them. She happily reciprocated and discovered he tasted like the gingerbread cookies she and Georgina had baked, which probably meant he had liked them.

Even though Calypso would have liked it to continue longer, soon they needed to break away to get some air. Her face was red, she was panting and somehow her hair had also gotten messy in the process, but she didn’t care. Why would she when she felt loved possibly for the first time in her life? Leo was looking at her gently and she wanted to reach in and continue from where they were left off, but before that she felt she needed to say something.

“Don’t tell your mothers that happened,” she mumbled while resting her head against his shoulder, trying to sound serious but knowing she was failing.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dream of it.” Leo stopped stroking her hair when she lifted her head from his shoulder to see his expression. Leo’s eyes were so unlike they had only been about 15 minutes earlier when Jo and Emmie had ‘forced’ them to talk. Back then they had looked almost black and emotionless, but now they were back to the lighter chocolate brown Calypso was used to, sparkling happily at her comment. It made her very relieved to see him like that; she must have done something right after all.

“Good.” She nodded and looked at him expectantly. Leo picked up the hint, but instead of kissing her right away, he lifted her on a kitchen cabinet so she wouldn’t have to stand on her tiptoes (not that Leo was tall; Calypso was just that short). Calypso rolled her eyes at the gesture, but when Leo took her face into his hands, she forgot all about it and leaned in for another kiss. Unfortunately, this time they hadn’t taken into account that there was a cupboard right behind Calypso’s head so when they started leaning more backwards as the kiss got more heated, she hit her head against it. “Oh great, of course when I finally get to kiss the girl this would happen,” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked apologetic, but Calypso just chuckled.

“Don’t worry about it. Maybe it was a good reminder for us that there would probably be better places to do this than the kitchen of your parents’ home.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Leo had to agree. Before Calypso got off the cabinet, though, she pressed a light kiss on his forehead. She didn’t know why she did that; it just felt good at that moment.

When she pulled away from him, Leo asked, sounding a bit unsure: “So… does that mean that you love me too?”

Calypso shook her head, kind of amused that this boy who could figure out a really difficult math question within minutes was so unsure about her feelings. “What do you think, idiot?”

“I don’t know… I still wasn’t entirely convinced by those kisses,” he attempted to joke but quickly received a fist on his arm. “Ow! That hurt!”

“Not a good moment to joke,” Calypso stated.

“Fine, sorry,” Leo said while rubbing his arm.

“You are lucky that I happen to love you.” Calypso stuck her tongue out at him, but before he had time to say anything, she took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“Yeah. I am,” Leo said, completely seriously this time. “But how did we get to this point from my… um, issues anyway?”

Now that Leo mentioned it, Calypso realized it was a valid question. It felt like everything she had felt that fall had been squeezed into a very small package and then suddenly just popped open. But she also felt relieved that they had finally managed to speak up about what was bothering them.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” she replied. “But I’m kind of glad that Jo and Emmie closed us here.”

“Yeah. Me too,” Leo agreed.

“Listen…” Calypso kept her eyes on their intertwined hands. “I don’t know what is going to happen. You know, with my father and everything. But you made me realize that I can’t just give up without a fight. That I can’t get what I want if I don’t try. So I’ve decided… I want to try this… us… if that’s what you want as well.”

“Are you crazy? I’d be the stupidest guy on earth to say no to you,” Leo said dramatically. “Even though this will sound cheesy as hell, I’ve noticed that I’m happier when I spend time with you. You know, just cooking, chilling, whatever. So, I’m thinking… Maybe together we will also be able to kick our issues’ asses. I will be working on getting over my fear. And… I guess I will also have to try harder to open up… about my past and all that… It probably isn’t always gonna be easy but hey, feel free to call me out if you need to.”

“You bet I will, Leo Valdez.” Calypso smiled at him, a real, genuine smile. “And I too will do my best to talk about what’s bothering me more. I realize now that I should have done it way earlier.”

“We are some stubborn idiots, huh?” Leo gave her a lopsided smile.

“Yeah.”

“Um, so… just to be clear… What do we tell the others? About… us?” Leo asked after a while.

“I’m thinking… maybe it would be better if we don’t tell everyone quite yet. I’ve had a lot of bad experiences in the past as you know so I’d prefer to keep it just between us for a while. You know, just to make sure that… nothing goes wrong.”

“Alright, that’s fair enough,” Leo agreed. “Although, nothing stays a secret from my family for a long time. It’s like they’re psychics or something.”

Calypso chuckled. “Can’t disagree with you on that. I swear that I’ve known them for a few days and they already know more about me than I do.”

“You’ll get used to it, though,” Leo reassured her.

“Hopefully so. Well… what should we do now?” Calypso asked tentatively.

“They’re probably expecting us to be done with the dishes by now…” Leo glanced at the clock on the wall. “But… I guess one more kiss won’t hurt?”

“I would hope so,” Calypso said and reached for him, pressing another kiss to his mouth.

[bluesnow261]

Still having thoughts about You and I… WOOPS THIS TURNED INTO A FULL DRABBLE

They’re video calling after a long week of work maybe… they talk about their week and Mono makes sure she ate and took care of herself. And OUT OF NOWHERE Six goes “…someone tried to ask me out today”

Mono almost chokes hearing that and he’s like “s-so how did you respond”

Six goes “well. I said that I already have someone.”

Mono still remains silent, listening (internally he’s like. SHE SAID “SOMEONE.” SO ITS NOT ME????? ALL THIS TIME IVE BEEN TAKING THINGS THE WRONG WAY—) and she could hear him overthink and continues. “Someone who has always been by my side. Who would wait for me, drive hours for me… who I trust with my every fault and scars. Even I when didn’t care enough about myself, he always did. I don’t deserve him, but he… stayed. Despite the horrible things I’ve done to him… he stayed.”

Mono is completely stunned, gazing at her expression on his screen. He’s used to seeing her natural beauty, bed head mornings, and seething silence when she’s upset about something. But he wasn’t prepared for this rare, soft look she’s giving him. He swore rays of sunlight touched his heart, in this moment.

“…Mono?” She finally broke the quiet between them.

He blinked, snapping out of his stupor. Mono didn’t know how to react, so he tried to be lighthearted. “Well… whoever he is, he’s really lucky.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm.”

Six played along. “What about you? You must be swamped with DMs.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, tons.” (There wasn’t any.) “But one lady caught my eye in particular…”

“Oh?”

“We go way back.”

“Tell me more.” Six moved to lay on her side, cozy in her blankets.

“Ever since she showed up at my elementary school, she’s the only one I wanted to be around. She hardly noticed, but I would wait for her. At the playground, at her dorm’s parking lots, and halfway across the country. I think she’s starting to get the hint though...” Mono grinned like he was thinking of an inside joke, and lowered his voice. “You see… she can be a little dense sometimes.”

It was Six’s turn to be silent, hiding a shy smile behind her blanket. They shared a knowing glance before Mono resumed eating dinner at his kitchen counter. A few quick heartbeats passed before Six replied.

“…She better come to her senses soon, then. You’re in high demand.”

That earned a chuckle from him. “Exactly. I just hope she didn’t meet someone who’s more interesting and made her realize I’m far, far away from her now…”

“She won’t.” Six was fast to deny the thought. “She won’t find another idiot like you. Everytime she looks at someone, she wishes they were you—close and real and true.”

Eight hours be damned, he’d give anything to join her right now. Hold her, and never let go. “That’s… I never thought about it like that.”

Six wanted him here; replaying their touches before she moved wasn’t enough… She kept up the act. “Consider yourself enlightened. In fact… you should call her. Right now. She probably wants to hear from you.”

“Good idea!” After depositing his empty bowl into the sink, Mono perched the phone on his open laptop and sat down on a couch. “But… she’s probably sleepy so I’ll call her tomorrow. Plus I have to finish this presentation for my meeting tomorrow…”

“It’s been taking you an awful long time.” Her eyelids grew heavy.

“Yeah, the tedious details are making this harder than it needs to be.” Mono rubbed his temple and gave Six another soft gaze. “It’s late for you. Sleep well so you don’t almost faint at work… again.”

“Fine.”

“And don’t skip lunch this time.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Six lazily rolled her eyes. “You should try not to lose too much sleep.”

“I’ll try.” He nods, holding the phone closer. As much as he wanted to keep the call, he can’t have any distractions—especially in the form of the love of his life drifting to a comfortable sleep. He might just join her on his side of the screen. “Good night, Six.”

“Good night…” Six murmurs back.

They both pause, waiting to see who ends the call first. When suddenly…

“Mono… I love you.”

Her words took a different tone than before, but not because she was slowly giving to sleep. Her eyebrows furrowed saying them and she sounded as if she was on the verge of tears, trying to persuade him of the genuine feelings behind the phrase. It echoed in Mono’s mind and pulled at his heart.

“I love you so much too.” He said softly. “I miss you.”

Six nodded, closing and opening her eyes slowly. He didn’t need to hear it to know that she missed him back with the same longing.

“Sweet dreams, Six.”

With that, the call ended. Seconds later, he gets a text from her.

‘She better hear a good morning from you’

He smiled, replying.

‘I wouldn’t dare break a promise with her’

Mono stretched, preparing for the long night ahead of him as he went to work on his laptop. But his mind would keep wandering to her words, all of them, all the while.

[hatsukeii]

Beautiful Trauma by Pink with Nishinoya, please!

Woop yess yeah angst is coming your way.

Okay I’m taking a break from matchups lol they’re getting harder to do because I do like a ton of them every day and like they’re GRUELLING HAVSJSGS they’re gonna be back but like I’m gonna focus on writing scenarios and maybe hcs for a bit then get right back to the matchups:)

Btw @artsamber I’m sorry I genuinely don’t know how marriage fics work and I don’t really see Nishinoya as someone that would lose interest after marriage, but I’ll try my best to incorporate your ideas into this fic!

(I’m legit trying my best to keep this as non explicit as I can because I’m keeping these for future uses if my English teacher ever tells me to write romance or something I can just pull up my blog and use scenarios-)

Beautiful Trauma// Nishinoya Yuu x Reader

Word count: 2000+

Warnings: Mild swearing

Nishinoya didn’t like feeling guilty. He hated the falling sensation he would get whenever he lied. The thought of having to hurt someone disgusted him. He was mostly an open book, it was as if you could read him word for word, everything expressed in those goofy facial expressions. He didn’t ask for much. He wanted someone who he could tease. Someone he could trust with his inner conflicts. Someone that could make him feel appreciated. Out of all the things however, he craved for excitement the most. Excitement that you weren’t able to give him. He loved you, he definitely loved you. But in a couple of years’ time, the spark that used to ignite whenever he looked at you, touched you, kissed you, it was gone. He tried to ignore the emptiness, grasping at any opportunity he could to regain those feelings. Going on more dates, inviting you to all his matches, bringing you over to his house every single week, he did everything he could Nothing worked. He no longer felt special. He had fought so hard for you, everything was all rainbows and unicorns, until it wasn’t. Until you became just another person for him. 

You still remember the exact moment you realised he had changed. It still goes through your mind till this day. It was New Year’s Eve. The two of you went out to watch the fireworks at midnight. His hand felt cold that night, not a trace of the usual warmth that embraced your hand perfect to be found.. It felt stale and frigid. He didn’t initiate his usual weird chatter, nor did he make an effort to talk to you at all. Every other couple at the venue was doing some lovey dovey crap, giving each other bone crushing hugs, or laying in their loved one’s lap, occasionally sneaking a kiss or two. Seeing that, you tried to sneak in some romance into your date. You turned towards him, leaning in and giving him a kiss. Your heart fell when he stayed still, not reacting to anything. He didn’t kiss back, he didn’t hold your hand, he didn’t even make an effort to play with your hair.  It was as if your kiss had absolutely no effect on him. You tried again, letting go of his hand and cupping his cheek. Still nothing. You pulled away, slightly disappointed at the lack of attention you were getting from him as he stared at you with bored eyes, dragging you down to sit next to him. This should’ve been a sign. A sign that something was wrong. However, you brushed it off. Maybe he was just feeling a bit sick that night.

The lack of attention went on for months. You would have to ask him out every week, just to be able to spend any quality time with him, and most of the time he’d decline, using the same three excuses every time.

“Sorry, I’m busy with volleyball.”

“Feeling a bit tired today, I’ll pass.”

“I have schoolwork, can’t come.”

The rare instances where he doesn’t decline your request, he’s completely indulged in his phone. As if there was something that was better than spending time with the one he loved that was on that godforsaken monitor. You would try poking him, shaking him, nudging him, everything you could possibly do to gain his attention. In return, all you’d receive was an irritated groan or your hand being picked up and put back onto your lap, followed by a wave of depression hitting you by surprise as he continues to scroll mindlessly through his phone. You were tired of this, your gut telling you to just break it off with him. However you were hopeful. Too hopeful. You continued to cling onto the last shred of hope you had in that attention lacking heart of yours, praying that by spending enough time with him, he would go back to his old self. The Nishinoya that she fell in love with. The one that gave her kisses on her cheek, squeezed her hand whenever he held it, cried with her during hard times, pushed her on the swings in an abandoned park. She continued to look forward to a day, where he would once again greet her at her doorstep before walking to school together. That day never came.

Half a year. Half an entire year of hiding his inner conflicts. Nishinoya was done keeping it in. He had to tell you one way or the other anyways. He was sick of seeing how disappointed you’d get after he ignored you time and time again. He was drowning in his own guilt throughout the never-ending six months. That pit of regret that dug itself in his stomach made him want to just rip everything to pieces and scream into a void. He didn’t want to see you like this, but quite frankly there was nothing he could do. His feelings were slowly fading, and they weren’t coming back. Everything that seemed bright in the world went dull as he pondered over his own emotions in his room. Letting out a feral yell, he sent all the books and papers on his desk flying to the floor, ripping some up and stomping on them. “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? HUH? I CAN’T DO THIS TO HER! I can’t... I can’t hurt her like that.” He grabbed at his hair, pulling at it as he slid down the wall hopelessly, choking out strained sobs and screams as tears poured from his eyes. He was beyond frustrated. He definitely didn’t want to hurt you by telling you how he felt, however hiding it wouldn’t do any good either. In fact, the longer he hid it, the more affected by it you would be. He had made his mind. He was going to tell you the truth the next day, but at what cost? He was scared, definitely. He could already picture what would happen. He would tell you his conflicts, and you two would end it there, with both of you crying and leaving for different classes. He would probably do terribly during practice, maybe even skip it for once, and you would probably go home and cry. It would hurt him to tell you, but it was for the best.

You weren’t feeling ecstatic the next day, although you should’ve been. In your bag, was a framed polaroid, along with a tiny note attached to it, stuffed in between your lunchbox and textbooks. You made sure not to let the note crumple up. That was something important. Your friends teased you about it, calling you a hopeless romantic, lovestruck schoolgirl, and a variety of different romance tropes. All you could do was nod and laugh dryly, and pray they didn’t see the frown on your face throughout the whole day. During lunch, you scanned the cafeteria for your partner, finally landing your eyes on his tiny figure. He was in the very back of the lunch line, scrolling through his phone, again. You took a deep breath, grabbing the polaroid and treading towards him. “Nishinoya, can I talk to you alone for a bit?” The boy’s eyes glanced towards you, before he cracked a fake grin. “Uh sure thing.” You pulled him out of the lunch line, guiding him to behind a random stairwell, leaning on the wall with the framed photo in hand.

“So, for our second anniversary, I made you this. I hope you like it.” Nishinoya froze, before his eyes widened, his mouth slowly opening. “I- I’m so sorry (Y/N), I completely forgot about this! Oh lord I’m so dumb oh god-” He stopped for a moment. This was the perfect opportunity to tell you. You two were finally alone, he could just get it done and over with. He thought about it a bit more. Would it be too much for you? He had already forgotten about you guys’ anniversary, whilst you made an effort to make him something. He decided against it. He would do it another day. “Yuu, it’s okay, Don’t worry about it. Just read the note when you get back. I gotta go eat now, see you around.” And with that, you made your way back to your table. NIshinoya’s heart clenched. He felt terrible. He really hid the fact that he was losing interest from you for months, whilst you continued to believe that he loved you with his whole heart. He stared at the polaroid in his hand. It was from when you two had your first date in a pink cafe. That was the first time he ever kissed you in public. Inside of the frame, was a piece of paper folded into a tiny square. That was the note you were talking about. He let out a heavy sigh, returning to the cafeteria as well.

The note was now in his hands, still folded in that neat square. When school ended, you didn’t wait for Nishinoya like you usually did. Instead, he saw you walk away with another friend, who was patting your back as you were hunched over slightly. His heart dropped. Thank the lords he decided not to tell you today. Polaroid frame in hand, he examined everything. Maybe there was some hidden message behind this. Maybe she wrote something on the back of the polaroid too, instead of just writing a note. He took a few minutes to just observe the framed photo, before giving up and shoving it back into his bag. There was nothing weird or suspicious about it. It was just a normal polaroid. He walked home alone, not waiting for Tanaka. He felt like absolute shit, head hanging low as he walked towards his house, hands in his pocket. The second he got to his room, he threw everything to the floor, scrambling for the framed polaroid and pulling out the untouched note. He opened the note up, to see a neatly written message. It wasn’t just a note, it was a whole letter.

Dear Yuu,

I expected this already, so don’t be sorry. I knew you were going to forget. You’ve changed, everyone could see. Because of that, there’s something I need to tell you.

I’m breaking it off here.

Nishinoya’s eyes widened as he gripped the paper tightly with his now shaky hands. “No way....”

I know you might be confused as to why I’m doing this. But hear me out. I can see that you’ve changed. For the past months you’ve been uninterested. You haven’t been like the old Yuu since New Year’s Eve.

I love you, I do, but I can’t bear to see you force yourself into continuing this facade. It’s been two years, this isn’t a surprise to me. I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay with me against your heart’s desire. I’d rather you be happy with the relationship. Please. Let’s just end it here. It was beautiful while it lasted, but now it’s just trauma for me. I hope this anniversary gift is good enough. Goodbye.

Love,

(Y/N)

Tears streamed down the boy’s face as he re-read the letter again. Nothing changed. You had said what you said and Nishinoya felt terrible. He should’ve known you would be able to read through him. He should’ve just told you from the start, instead of keeping it in like a coward. Putting the letter down, he grabbed his bag, and threw it across the room, letting it land to the ground with a thud as his laptop and his textbooks spilled out. “NISHINOYA YUU WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” Ah, of course, it was his mom. “NISHINOYA STOP MAKING SO MUCH NOISE!” The short boy ignored her, continuing to let his anger out. He threw all the books from his shelf onto the wooden floor, ripped up pieces of homework, and threw the polaroid to the ground, jumping on it and cracking the glass. He wasn’t mad at you. He was frustrated with himself. He was furious at his own cowardice, that led to him breaking your heart. “Why? It shouldn’t have been like this! I should’ve apologised to her before any of this happened! We might’ve had a chance!”

He continued to massacre his bedroom, throwing everything at his wall and breaking anything he possibly could get his hands on. His legs felt tired from stomping and jumping and his arms ached from ripping everything. He fell back, landing on his ass as he cradled his face in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably. He wanted to lie to himself. Tell himself there was nothing he could do about it. Convince himself that he had already tried his best.

But deep down, he knew that he just didn’t try hard enough, and now, the two years you guys spent together, where he loved every single minute of, was nothing but a beautiful trauma.

Tags:

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Comment or dm to be in taglist!!

Okay this is actually so bad I’m sorry idk I just hate this with a passion and I think it’s terrible but I hope you liked it🥺😔💕

References:

Beautiful Trauma lyrics on genius

Comments on the music video

My overanalysing brain

[pokemonswshbutionlyplayedsword]

Since it's Pride Month, how would the leaders and leon react to a challenger who came out as transgender and transitioned mid gym challenge but transphobic people keep misgendering them on purpose.

Everyone would be super defensive.

Milo goes out of his way to use the correct pronoun and the correct name (if they changed their name) as often as possible. He also makes a lot of passive aggressive comments about the people who are being transphobic (they haven’t transitioned yet, but they’ve been talking about it). Which is a lot for someone like Milo.

Nessa just outright on the field hears about the transphobia and is just like “what a bunch of bitches.” She makes sure to make posts on social media in support throughout their gym challenge.

Kabu is probably the most defensive of them. He nearly gets into a fistfight when someone says something nasty about the challenger. They’ve started transitioning now, and Kabu supports them wholeheartedly. He defends them through their gym challenge.

Bea actually does get in a fistfight. Someone tried following the challenger into the gym and she put them in the dirt real quick. No bullshit in this gym, no sir. She definitely walks them to Ballonlea to make sure no one gets close.

Allister is not a fighter, at least, not past pokemon battles. But he’d definitely use his pokemon to attack someone for being transphobic. He’s young, but he was raised to treat everyone equally no matter what. No hate in this gym. Ever.

Opal sicks all of her pokemon and gym trainers on anyone who even breathes in the wrong direction at this kid. They’ve been through enough. Even without the publicity of it all, it’s hard. She gets it. She’s not going to let them be treated poorly anywhere near Ballonlea.

Gordie is very supportive. He doesn’t really attack the transphobia as much as he does block it away from the challenger. He sticks close to make sure they’re not being attacked. He leaves the literal murder to the rest of the gym leaders. He just wants to protect the poor challenger.

Melony is sweet and supportive. Until she sees someone being transphobic. Then it’s hands on sight. They’re out cold in the snow before they even know what hit them. I’d feel bad but they’re transphobic, so... They never really stood a chance against her.

Piers has been watching all of this go down the whole time. He’s ready for it. He as Team Yell gathered at the mouth of Spikemuth ready to escort the challenger and keep everyone else out. Woops, one got past? Beaten by Piers’ very own mic stand. He does not care. He also offers some good advice for the challenger.

Raihan straight up just has them arrested. It’s a feat in and of itself to make it this far with how angry the gym leaders have been (oh, and any transphobic challengers got kicked out very early in the challenge). He has them all hauled off for hate crimes and harrassment because they literally followed this poor kid across the region. He also has some good advice for them.

Leon is super happy to meet them, and he knows about all the transphobia. He makes a public champion announcement. “Anyone who is transphobic can go ahead and leave the region because I cannot and will not support you with anything.” Then he gives the challenger some advice and money for equipment to safely transition.

The entire fucking league said “respect trans people for die by my sword.”

Happy Pride Month, by the way. Hope everyone is doing alright.

[chaoticspacefam]

OC Worldbuilding Tag Pt 2!

...electric boogaloo! I’m sorry I know this joke is old now but I cannot help it, it’s ingrained in my brain XD

I got another tag for this from @a-master-procrastinator , thank you! :D

I think all my friends & mutuals have already been tagged for this one? But I’ll throw a couple out here if you want to, no pressure as always!: @mercurypilgrim​ , @actualanxiousswampwitch and @sleepswithvillains maybe?

Some more Saarai, because I love her. Some very slight spoilers for some of the differences in the Subterfugeverse plot points but nothing major! ;3 Long post warning again, as well as some brief mentions of Valkorion being a dick and causing a mass-genocide but all on the same level as the presented game canon.

- Saarai is psychometric and has been since she was pretty young, a Force power she inherited from D’leah’s mother, Saa’thri, because it “skipped” D’leah and Saarai got it instead. Though she didn’t realise it at the time and it wasn’t until she brought it up to her mother and D’leah went “oh yeah, your grandma had that too :)” that she realised it was actually A Thing.

- She’s not always good at recognising when a vision is from the Psychometry and when it’s just “her imagination”, particularly when she’s younger (which gets her into some trouble, see: the whole Tsâhis thing). Even after she gets used to it, sometimes it still hits her out of nowhere and if it’s a particularly nasty vision she’ll sometimes lose her footing and hit the deck - thankfully, because of their Force bond, Ni’kasi can usually figure out what’s happening and react fast enough to catch her before she smacks her head on something.

- Nathema was...not fun for Saarai thanks to the Psychometry. She’d wanted to go with them to protect them and ended up having to be dragged back to the ship and wait there because the moment she tried to touch anything there the Force went “Oh hey!! would you like some Detailed Flashbacks About What Happened Here!!” and yeah...she did not have a good time. Going to Nathema was kind of a mistake for her. Woops. (She gets through it though, Lana gets her back to the ship and she gets a handle on things but definitely doesn’t go all the way into the facility with Vano and Lana. Probably a good thing, too, if she’d picked up that toy of Vaylin’s I think she would’ve found those visions quite upsetting to watch, too.)

- She and Lana don’t share a Force bond, only because she has one with her sister, Ni’kasi instead. Neither of the twins are exactly sure when it formed, but they’ve had the connection for as long as they can remember. When they’re separated while Saarai and Ty are on Rishii, it’s harder for them to communicate because of the distance between them and Kas putting up barriers “just in case” the Sith tried to interrogate her at any point, she didn’t want to give Saarai away. They knew enough to know the other twin was probably still alive, but not to know exactly what was going on with each other until they finally reunite with the first Coalition on Yavin IV. That was the final relief for the twins, actually getting to see the other one standing there and definitely very much alive, there were hugs and a lot of tears, absolutely. <3

- Saarai is very much a “reluctant leader”, she never wanted to be a figurehead in the Alliance nor did she want to be telling people what to do, but circumstances “forced” her into the role and she had to stumble around awkwardly and adapt. With Vano gone and stuck in carbonite, somone had to step up and make sure the people that were working with Vano stuck together and didn’t fall apart (Not all of Vano’s crew disperse, Broonmark, Pierce and Jaesa always remain with the Alliance. Quinn ends up in jail after the Quinncident and Vette goes missing during one of their attempts to search for Vano’s whereabouts only to reappear as in canon later ;)) With Marr dead and the rest of the Dark Council under Zakuul’s heel or missing, that left Lana, Ni’kasi and Aria as alternative “leadership” figures. Lana lacked the ambition for it and was more tooled to be an advisor and while both Ni’kasi and Aria are bossy enough to delegate tasks, they’re abrasive and people don’t like them. But they like Saarai and they listen to her. So everyone kinda went “Okay cool you’re in charge now :)” I’m sorry, Saarai, you’re symultaneously the most and least qualified for this job but you got it anyway :P She settles into it eventually, though, but will be the first one to adamantly insist that it’s a team effort between not only herself and Vano once they have her back, but Lana, Koth, Theron and all the other trusted members of the Alliance acting as advisors in their respective fields of interest.

- In Subterfugeverse, I headcanon that Vano and Saarai share the command of the Alliance once Vano returns. Vano has the Commander title and handles most of the battle tactics and strategy, whereas Saarai handles things like conflict resolution and public relations, as well as controlling the Eternal Fleet. Things work very differently in Subterfugeverse in terms of the Throne so I’ll try to keep it brief but essentially:

Valkorion “took over” the Sith Empire from the Ahaszaai, Saarai’s ancestors. It was a very hostile takeover and currently Saarai, Ni’kasi, Ty, eventually Ni’kasi’s kids, and their uncle Vowrawn are the only four Ahaszaai left in the entire galaxy.

While they didn’t technically have claim to the Zakuulan throne, the original Sith homeworld before Valkorion’s bullshit was Medriaas (which is canon, I’m just borrowing this part because it fits in nicely ;)), which became Nathema after Valkorion did his whole “planet eating” thing.

Vano is initially the only one who can control the Throne and the Fleet via the whole “Valkorion is in her head” loophole. However, that loophole becomes defunct once Valkorion gets yanked out of her mind since it was Valkorion that gave her the ability to control it in the first place.

I’m assuming for the sake of plot flow that it’s based upon two specific “checks” and that’s 1) direct blood ties to the Emperor(ess) in power and/or 2) said Emperor(ess) currently controlling the throne directly and willingly passing their authority over the throne to a successor - which is how Valkorion is able to give the Outlander/Vano control of the Fleet while he’s in her mind, even though she’s not blood related to him.

They’re able to, with some research, deduce that they can exploit this apparent loophole in the system, to avoid losing control of the Fleet entirely and risking any of the GEMINI droids turning into another SCORPIO; and Vano essentially rescinds control of the Throne/Fleet to Saarai, everyone (including Ni’kasi herself) agrees that Saarai is the responsible choice because she’s not going to get a bee in her bonnet and with an errant thought accidentally set the Eternal Fleet on the Jedi or something of the sort.

Since Saarai has direct blood ties to the original ruling Sith before Valkorion userped the title from them, and Vano willingly gave the Throne up to her, the Throne can’t throw a tantrum about it and just has to deal with it. XD

- Once they do manage to track down where Vano is, before Lana and Koth head to Zakuul to actually break her out, Lana comes to Saarai for help with that. Ni’kasi has to stay to watch Ty and also try and keep a tenuous line with the other Sith thanks to her position on the Dark Council, Aria’s too emotionally charged to think straight and Lana is rightfully worried she might make a mistake that puts the whole rescue mission in jeapordy, so they ask Saarai instead. It’s kind of awkward and she and Koth rub each other the wrong way at first, they bicker for two thirds of the entire trip there and Lana almost throws them both out of the airlock for it, but eventually do find a way to bury the hatchet before they actually arrive at Zakuul to rescue Vano.

- By the time they find the Gravestone, Saarai and Koth have made up and though they are not yet involved with eachother at that time, have both agreed that fighting over Lana is stupid and they can make this work without making things difficult for anyone else, so the whole interruption in the Gravestone’s cargo hold, for Subterfugeverse, is genuinely an accident. Saarai heads up to check on him afterwards and they have another amicable and productive conversation and end up growing a little closer. Their side of the relationship is a little slower to form, but they do eventually end up developing deeper feelings for each other, though it’s strictly non-sexual between Rai and Koth and they are both 100% happy and okay with that.

[merlins-tits]

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Nora Holleran, Percy “Pez” Okonjo, June Claremont-Diaz, Shaan Srivastava
Additional Tags: Boys In Love, minor pez/june, past nora/alex, henry is jealous, Alex is stupid, POV Henry
Summary: The New Year’s Eve party but from Henry’s point of view. UM so I might have wrote the one New Year’s Eve party scene from Henry’s point of view because I couldn’t get it out of my head. The link is there but I’ll also just post it here, too. This is my first writing piece ever. Also I used most of the same dialogue from the actual scene but all credit goes to the wonderful Casey McQustion. These are their characters and they have all rights! A strong, deep bass rumbled from the speakers as Henry stumbled through the crowd searching for Alex. It had gotten to the point where he was on the verge of giving up when he spotted him. Alex was with two girls: Nora at his back with her arms wrapped around a small girl who looked vaguely familiar. Alex, though, had his head thrown back, laughing like someone had just told him the world’s best joke, his whole body alive with movement. It was intoxicating enough that Henry took a deep breath before sidling up next to him. He looked around to see people with their hands in the air, hands on someone’s waist, around someone’s neck, wrapped around a drink. Looking down at his own hands, he tried to copy those around him without looking completely prattish. Spoiler. It didn’t work. “You don’t dance?” Alex says, watching him. “No, I do,” Henry says. “It’s just, the family-mandated ballroom dancing lessons didn’t exactly cover this?” The last few words of his sentence come off as more of a question than a statement. “C’mon, it’s, like, in the hips. You have to loosen up.” Alex replies. He then does the unthinkable: he puts his hands on Henry’s hips and it’s all Henry can do to not tense up. By the look on Alex’s face, he thinks he’s failed. “That’s the opposite of what I said.” “Alex, I don’t–” “Here,” Alex says, moving his own hips, “watch me.” Henry feels the warmth creeping up the back of his neck, takes a gulp of his champagne, and says in what he hopes to be a level tone, “I am.” The song crossfades into another buh-duh dum-dum-dum, dum-duh-dum duh-duh-dum– “Shut up,” Alex yells, looking as though Christmas had come early. “Shut your dumb face, this is my shit!” He throws his hands up in the air as Henry stares at him blankly, and around them, people start cheering too, hundreds of shoulders shimmying to what Henry later learns to be “Get Low” by Lil Jon. “Did you seriously never go to an awkward middle school dance and watch a bunch of teenagers dry hump to this song?” Alex looks up at Henry as he stares back with wide eyes, clutching his champagne glass like a lifeline. “You absolutely must know I did not.” Alex turns to where Nora was standing a few feet away and snatches her away from the girl she was flirting with. Absently, Henry realizes that he recognizes this girl from the recent Spider-Man movie. “Nora!” Alex shouts, bringing Henry’s focus back to him. But honestly, when is he not focused on Alex? “Nora! Henry has never watched a bunch of teenagers dry hump to this song!” Nora stumbles and her face becomes so shocked that Henry fears that he’s done something wrong. “What?” she exclaims. “Please tell me nobody is going to dry hump me,” Henry says, bewilderment written all over his face. “Oh my God, Henry,” Alex yells, seizing Henry by one lapel as the music pounds on, “you have to dance. You have to dance. You need to understand this formative American coming-of-age experience.” Henry feels his willpower dwindling when he realizes just how close Alex has pulled them together. He doesn’t even think that Alex meant to, but suddenly, Henry is all too aware of the feeling of Alex’s body pressed against his. He thinks he might do something extremely stupid when Nora grabs Alex, pulling him away from Henry and spinning him around, her hands on his waist, and starts grinding with abandon. Alex woops and Nora cackles and the crowd jumps around and Henry just gawks at them. He lets out an indignant snort when he hears the lyrics for the first time. “Did that man just say ‘sweat drop down my balls’?” Alex is breathtaking, sweat on his brow, laughing hysterically, bent over grinding his ass against Nora’s front. She starts thrusting against Alex, smacking his ass on time with the beat of the song and Henry is sure he’s only seen this happening in movies. Henry rips his eyes away from the scene in front of him only to see Pez a few feet away bending over to the front and touching his toes. Alex sees it too and laughs even harder at Henry’s face. He accepts a shot from a passing tray, throwing it back and getting back to his dancing. He pouts his lips and shakes his ass, and even though Henry cannot fathom why his body starts reacting without him telling it to, his head starts to bop. "Fuck it up, vato!” Alex yells, and Henry laughs despite himself and hips start to move in a little baby shake. “I thought you weren’t going to babysit him all night,” June whispers to Alex as she twirls by, though it comes off as more of a shout. “I thought you were too busy for guys,” Alex says, nodding behind her. Henry looks over his shoulder and sees Pez watching June with a little grin on his face. He turns back around in time to see June throw Alex a wink before she’s off again. From there, Henry can’t find it in himself to care about how ridiculous he might look. He’s had too much to drink and there’s music he vaguely recognizes as early 2000s blasting from the speakers. He’s drinking champagne directly from the bottle and his willingness to dance likely has to do with how close Alex is and the fact that he can’t quite keep his hands to himself. Henry thinks he might explode. He watches Alex continue to grind against Nora and in the back of his head he hears a whisper that sounds a little bit like Pez saying “you wish that was you, huh?” The staring contest he seems to have started with Alex lasts well up until midnight, laughter bubbling out at random, wide smiles that they both can’t quite keep off of their faces. The countdown to the new year starts as they huddle up in their own little group, arms wrapped around each other, swaying slightly due to how much they’ve all had to drink. Henry thinks everything is going well until the countdown hits one, everyone screams “Happy New Year” and he sees Nora sling her arm around Alex’s neck and kiss him sloppily on the mouth. As they pull out of the kiss, Nora bites Alex’s lip and messes up his hair as he laughs. He opens his eyes and looks straight at Henry. Henry fights to keep his emotions off his face, he’s trained in it. It’s hard considering the jealousy rising up and he’s certain he must be green with it. Alex’s smile grows wider when he registers Henry’s expression, so Henry lifts the bottle of champagne up to his mouth, takes a hearty gulp, turns and walks through the crowd away from two-thirds of the White House Trio. Henry finds himself in the Garden without even registering how he got there and how long he’s been there. He slowly walks up to a tree and looks up into the sky. He’s so numb from the alcohol that he doesn’t care how cold it is. The only way he knows that he maybe should be wearing a jacket is when he breathes out and sees little puffs of steam in front of his face. He’s been out there for God knows how long when he hears a curse as someone stumbles over a bench behind him. “What’re you doing back here?” Alex says, trudging up to stand next to him under the tree. Henry squints down at him trying to focus on Alex’s face. It doesn’t work. It’s still blurry. Still beautiful. Whatever. “Looking for Orion,” he settles on saying. Alex huffs a laugh, looking up into the sky. Henry realizes his excuse must sound silly when he looks up as well and sees Alex fighting back a smile. The sky is not clear. It’s full of fluffy white clouds. “You must be really bored with the commoners to come stand out here and stare at the clouds.” “‘m not bored,” Henry mumbles. “What are you doing out here? Doesn’t America’s golden boy have some swooning crowds to beguile?” He means for it to come out harsher than it sounds. He hopes Alex doesn’t recognize the fondness in his voice. “Says Prince fucking Charming,” Alex answers, smirking. Henry frowns up at the clouds. He’s not sure if he likes that Alex compared him to a beautiful prince or if he’s disappointed that he is anything but. “Hardly.” His knuckle brushes the back of Alex’s hand at their sides, a little zip of warmth in the cold night. Henry feels it in his whole body. From the corner of his eye he can see Alex looking at him. The garden is quiet. It makes Henry uncomfortable. “You really didn’t answer my question, though,” Alex notes. Henry groans, rubbing a hand across his face. “You can’t leave well enough alone, can you?” He leans his head back. It thumps gently against the trunk of the tree. “Sometimes it gets a bit…much.” Alex keeps looking at him. He shifts, leaning back against the tree too. He nudges their shoulders together and Henry feels the corner of his mouth twitch at the contact. He tries to keep his smile down. He’s probably failing. “D’you ever wonder,” he says slowly, “what it’s like to be some anonymous person out in the world?” Alex frowns. “What do you mean?” “Just, you know,” Henry says, trying to find the right words. “If your mom weren’t the president and you were just a normal bloke living a normal life, what things might be like? What you’d be doing instead?” “Ah,” Alex says. He stretches out one arm out in front of him, makes a dismissive gesture with a flick of his wrist. “Well, I mean, obviously I’d be a model. I’ve been on the cover of Teen Vogue twice. These genetics transcend all circumstance.” Henry rolls his eyes, fighting to keep a fond smile off of his face. “What about you?” Henry shakes his head ruefully. “I’d be a writer.” Alex gives a little laugh. “Can’t you do that?” “Not exactly seen as a worthwhile pursuit from a man in line for the throne, scribbling verses about quarter-life angst,” Henry says dryly. “Besides, the traditional family career track is military, so that’s about it, isn’t it?” He bites his lip, and his brain supplies the words I’d date more, probably, as well. It takes him a moment to realize he’s voiced his thoughts when Alex starts laughing. “Right, because it’s so hard to get a date when you’re a prince.” Henry looks down at Alex. “You’d be surprised.” “How? You’re not exactly lacking for options.” Henry looks at him. He thinks there’s a twinge of jealousy in Alex’s voice and he hopes it’s not wishful thinking. It’s probably what gives him the courage to say, “The options I’d like…” dragging the words out, trying to hint at what he’s trying to say. “They don’t quite seem to be options at all.” Alex blinks. “What?” And Henry’s infatuated with him even more. “I’m saying that I have…people…who interest me,” Henry says, turning his body toward Alex now, speaking with a fumbling pointedness. Alex still looks entirely too confused and it’s endearing. “But I shouldn’t pursue them. At least not in my position.” “I still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Alex says. Henry wants to punch him. “You don’t?” “No.” “You really don’t?” “I really, really don’t.” Henry grimaces in frustration, looking up to the sky wishing there was something up there to please knock some sense into Alex. He straightens. “Christ, you’re about as thick as it gets,” he says, and he grabs Alex’s face in both hands and kisses him. Alex freezes, and for a split second, Henry wonders if he’s read Alex all wrong. Then he feels Alex lean into him and Henry almost sighs in relief. His mouth slides against Alex’s, opens, and his tongue brushes against Alex’s. It’s wonderful and warm and everything Henry had hoped for. Probably even better. Oh. Definitely better. One of Henry’s hands finds its way into Alex’s hair and grabs it at the roots at the back of his head. Alex makes a small noise in the back of his throat and that’s when Henry realizes just what he’s done. He pulls away roughly, enough that Alex staggers back, eyes glazed over, the beginnings of bewilderment etching across his face. Henry mumbles a curse and a series of apologies, holding up his hands as he backs away. Eyes wide and heart in his throat, he turns on his heel and rushes out of the garden, leaving Alex standing in the snow. When he reaches the portico, he looks back and sees Alex start to come back to himself, touching his lips and beginning to make his way toward the White House. Henry slips inside, pushes through the crowd where he finds Pez. Even in his drunkenness, Pez takes one look at Henry and he must know. It’s probably written all over his face. “Please,” Henry hears himself say. There’s a roaring sound in his ears. “I can’t–Pez, I need to leave. I can’t be here.” Pez grabs his hand and leads him to where the PPOs are waiting by the wall. He leans over to Shaan and the next thing he knows is he’s being shuttled to the SUVs parked around the side of the White House. Henry can’t breathe and he doesn’t remember walking to the SUV. Henry can’t breathe and he sees a flash of betrayal and confusion on Alex’s face in the back of his mind. Henry can’t breathe and suddenly he’s in the private jet. Pez doesn’t even ask him what happened. He looks at Henry with sympathy and keeps a worried eye on him the entire flight. He doesn’t fall asleep, he won’t when Henry can’t breathe. Pez takes a deep breath and grabs Henry’s hand. “It’s gonna be okay, Henry. Just wait. I promise everything will be okay.” He was right, like always, Henry thinks. He runs his fingers down Alex’s naked back in the brownstone they share. Henry takes a deep breath.

[imacrowcawcaw]

MY MASTERLIST

Sweetness hot meets sweetness cold, light and airy swirls around dark and heavy for the perfect blend.OTHER LINKS: WATTPAD & ROCK FIC

@insannywestan - Sanny shipping blog

@theladylovingcrow - my writing/art blog. If you wanna skip all the other posts on my main and get straight to the good stuff, go here (or use this masterlist!)

*** CONTAINS SMUT

* CONTAINS SEXUAL THEMES/EXTENSIVE KISSING

Greta Van Fleet

SANNY (Sam Kiska x Danny Wagner)

*** The Most Beautiful Distraction - tumblr - AO3

"Wanna ride you," Sam sighed, admission joining the swirl of colors in the air around them; burgundy kisses, blue touches, bright electric flashes of pain subdued by delicate green affection and care. Danny ached for him - the fiery burn in his stomach overcoming the duller waves from his burned hands.

*** Fuck The Movie, I Wanna Fuck You - tumblr - AO3

They were taking a break from touring, just chilling back in Frankenmuth. Danny had come over to his second home, and was snuggled up on the couch with his best friend, watching a movie. Everyone else was doing their thing - cooking, playing, talking on the phone - all perfectly normal for a nice, happy family. But FUCK Sam was feeling horny, naughty, and curious as to how Danny would react if he moved his hand just a bit higher....

*** Skin on Skin, Hearts Laid Bare - tumblr p1, p2, p3  - AO3

They started off cuddling as a necessity in chilly tents and cramped car rides, but it eventually became something much, much more. Sam finds that there isn't a safer place in the world, no where else he'd rather be, than when he's wrapped up in his best friend's strong, caring arms. And Danny, he just can't get enough of the feeling of Sam's silky smooth skin spread out underneath his hands. A chronicle of Samuel Kiszka and Daniel Wagner's budding love.

*** Silk and Satin, Leather and Lace - tumblr - AO3 

Sam has a surprise for Danny. A lacy, kinky one

*** No, Sam! - tumblr - AO3

Sam and Danny keep getting interrupted.

*** Keys To My Heart - tumblr - AO3

Danny just wants to try out Sam's new car, but the evil genius has some stipulations (like a handjob)

*** Blood Brothers - tumblr - AO3

"He leaned forward to nuzzle his face into the crook of Sam's neck, smelling the coconut oil in his hair and the rich rush of life flowing just below his skin. Danny licked at his jugular, giving it a small, almost affectionate nip before grabbing Sam's arm that was around his back and bringing it forward."

*** These Dreams - tumblr - AO3

"You're telling me that we've known each other, been near inseparable, since seventh grade, and you've never once thought about it? At all? You've had to have thought about giving guys a try at least once, everyone questions their sexuality."

Sammy gave him a shit eating grin. He scooted even closer to Danny, so that their knees touched and their noses weren't more than half a foot apart. Danny stopped laughing.

* The Sweetness of Love’s Bliss - tumblr - AO3 

Sweetness hot meets sweetness cold, light and airy swirls around dark and heavy for the perfect blend.

Don’t Go Away Mad (Please Actually Talk To Me About the Issue) - tumblr - AO3

They'd slept together so many times - but this was different. It would have been different starting last night, if a misunderstanding hadn't made Danny kick himself to the couch... but that didn't matter now.

* New Places, Friendly Faces - tumblr p1, p2, p3 - AO3

Danny was nervous; he had been building up the courage for weeks to arrange a date, and now.... He wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation he found himself in. The night certainly wasn't going as he had expected it to - and his emotions had never ridden a roller coaster this fast. Hell, the beautiful angel holding his hand wasn't even the one he had arranged to meet 2 hours ago.

*** High Sex is the Best (Just Don’t Fall Asleep) - linked under twins

Sam figures out that he's attracted to his best friend after catching Danny jerking off in the shower. Then they get high. (BTW this story focuses on Danny and Sam, though Jake and Josh are definitely in there)

*** The Lady and Her Knights  - p1 - p2 - AO3

You are seriously the luckiest girl in the world: Daniel Wagner is your boyfriend! And, yet, you can't push away the fantasy of having more. Specifically, Sam - you want his best friend, too. (THREESOME SMUT WITH HEAVY SAM/DANNY)

*** Black Panties and An Angel’s Face (continuation of ‘Silk and Satin...’) - tumblr - AO3

Sam had said that he would wear whatever Danny bought him.... would he, really? Fuck, if not them this was about to he a sucky Christmas for the both of them.

*** Grindr - AO3 

Sam gaped at him dumbly; mouth open wide, eyebrows raised, hands clinging tightly to his shoulders. Danny grinned, predatory and full of satisfaction, and thrust harder.

TWINS

* Freezeframe (teasing, talking mythology, and kissing while on a quiet evening hike) - tumblr - AO3 

Then I Recognized Me (comparing appearances, short and fluffy, could be gen or slash) - tumblr - AO3

* High Sex is the Best (Just Don’t Fall Asleep) (Sanny is the main pairing but the twins are shacking up in the background)  - tumblr - AO3

*** These Dreams (hinted at the very end) - linked under Sanny 

DRABBLES

* GVF Halloween Drabbles (6 random Halloween themed drabbles, some slashy) - tumblr - AO3

WHOLE BAND

Four Cute Little Piggies In a Blanket (foursome smut ~ yes in that way) - AO3

Metallica

Eyes of Juniper (Lars pisses off an ancient goddess and gets himself and Kirk turned into girls, eventuallly Jlars; on hiatus) - AO3

Guns N’ Roses

STEVEN ADLER X DUFF MCKAGAN

A New Addition To The Family (Stevie and Duff go adopt a dog, super fluffy and humorous) - AO3

DUZZY (Duff Mckagan x Izzy Stradlin)

*** Black Dog (Izzy blows Duff in the studio) - AO3

Baby, Let’s Get Wet (friends with benefits, Duff wants to fuck in the shower; half completed so sorry) - AO3

Young Love In The Woods (middle school AU, Izzy and Duff reminisce on how they met) - AO3

Lazy Days (a short and fluffy lazy morning in bed) - AO3

*** Curiosity Killed The Cat, But Satisfaction Brought It Back (humorous smut, Izzy comes up with a plan to seduce Duff; on hiatus in the middle of the smut woops) - AO3  

SLAXL (Slash x  Axl Rose) 

*** Curiosity Killed The Cat, But Satisfaction Brought It Back (background pairing) - AO3

Led Zeppelin

My Love, My Darling (ultra fluffy winter-themed fluff) - tumblr - AO3

The Magicians (TV)

Treasure (slow burn, binding spell gone wrong) - AO3

Other Fandoms I Could Write For

Merlin (BBC)

Queen 

Elementary (tv show)

Percy Jackson Series (the first 12 books)

How To Train Your Dragon 

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Catch-22 (book) 

Hey Folks! A few reminders I would love for y'all to read 

• I WILL write straight romance/sex or reader inserts, you just have to ask for it! I know that my library is almost all gay slash, that's just because that's all that has been asked of me 

• I love feedback! Give my stories an out of ten rating, constructive criticism, a video of you screaming, I don't care - But any reactions to my work are greatly cherished and much encouraged. It helps me gauge what y'all are into and improve writing 

• My disclaimer, as copy-pasted from Rockfic:  I don't own any of these people, places, or ideas (except the ones that I do). Any coincidences are just that. If you have a problem with my subject matter (other than a factual correction - you can comment that and I'll fix it) message me privately and I may or may not respond.

A/N: If any of these links aren’t working, please let me know so I can fix them! Thank you.