#use your imagination for that sweet hurt/comfort arc that could come from this

[underthetree845]

chuuya taking his hat off to hide when he kisses his partner 🤭

Hello saturn lovely! Sorry this took me so long to finish TwT I love the prompt, but as you know writer's block hit me kinda hard the second semester of school so over the summer I've been trying to get back into the swing of posting once in a while!

Hope you enjoy <3 thank you for the request! _

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

Nakahara Chuuya/Reader (oneshot request)

cws: fem! reader, established relationship, bungou stray dogs s5 spoilers, meursault arc spoilers, fluff, hurt/comfort kinda? there was a little hurt, reuniting, airport reunion, ada dazai, reader cries about 2.5k words summary: Chuuya disappeared on a business trip for three whole days with no explanation- and no one would tell you why. Now he's returned to japan and back in your arms. a/n: This is my last fic for the summer before school starts aaa qwq I'm glad I was able to finish it before the semester starts though! *sigh* am I really incapable of writing something like this without accidentally creating so much plot? Anyways, hope you enjoy! <3 divider credit: (x) (x) ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹ Chuuya had never considered himself to be a very possessive man; or a possessive boyfriend, for that matter. Protective, sure, but how could anyone expect him not to be? He understood, probably better than most, the risks that came with even so much as associating with a person in his position. It made Chuuya’s stomach churn unpleasantly to even imagine putting you in any sort of danger, so he used his position (along with the power and assets that came with it) to take certain preventative measures. The penthouse you shared was equipped with state of the art security, a technological system truly fit for an executive of the Port Mafia. Additionally, in case you ever needed to travel long distances without him, Chuuya often kept a trusted chauffeur on call. This individual also happened to be a professionally trained underground bodyguard of his personal selection. Even so, Chuuya knew you had a good head on your shoulders. He trusted that you would try to keep yourself out of trouble, or call for him at the first sign of it. It didn’t matter if he was on the road, halfway through a private meeting, or in the middle of pummeling down an enemy organization. Chuuya had always been a man with his priorities set straight. Not even Mori’s notifications were set to come through on silent mode. Coming home to you at the end of the day, allowing you to soothe away the crease between his brows, your voice uttering sweet nothings against the shell of his ear. You had become his lifeline, irreversibly carved your name into every cell of his body. He’d do anything to erase your pain, and it was making his heart break more than anything to know that he was the cause of the salty tears now streaming over your lash line. Chuuya did his best to hold back an ‘oof’ when you threw your frame into his own, burying your sobs in the crook of his neck. He was immediately overwhelmed with the scent of your perfume, the familiar feeling of your body against his own, the softness of the sweater you wore, and the glimmer that never seemed to escape your eyes. The red colored contacts from earlier had given Chuuya one hell of a headache, which only added to the pressure from taking off and being stuck in one of the mafia’s smallest private jets with the most insufferable jackass he’d ever met and some hair dye obsessed casino manager passed out on one of the couches. Chuuya’s gloved fingers almost trembled as they gripped the fabric of your shirt. He lifted a hand to cradle the back of your head while the other remained planted firmly on your lower back.

Sakaguchi Ango, if Chuuya remembered correctly, stood a few yards away. He simply observed the situation from afar, as if he dared not insert himself into the scene. A government agent whom Dazai used to maintain his connection with the outside world. Ango stood with one hand folded neatly over the other behind his back, the faint ghost of a smile residing behind his glasses as he watched Dazai reunite with his fellow agency members. The brunette walked on a crutch, but the uncharacteristically tired look in his eyes brightened ever so slightly when he was swarmed by his coworkers. Chuuya continued to hold you close, patiently waiting for your sobs to die down enough for you to be able to speak coherently. He loosened his grip slightly, removing one of his leather gloves behind your back and bringing that same hand up to cup your face. A whisper of your name left his lips, and your teary eyes finally refocused to meet the warmth of his own. “Chuuya… how could you just leave?” your voice cracked; he could see the hurt in your eyes. Guilt crept into his chest, eyebrows knitting together as you subconsciously leaned into his palm. This was exactly the sort of thing Chuuya promised himself he’d never do. You were the absolute number one priority in his life. There was no doubt in his mind; he didn’t want there to be any doubt in yours either. “I know, Doll, ‘m sorry, it was never my intention…” he muttered, allowing you to rest your hands on his chest. “I know that’s a shit excuse, but I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” A beat of silence passed, the indistinct chatter of the agency fell on deaf ears as you zoned in on the man in front of you. His breath, the way his eyes searched your expression, how you could once again feel the warmth of his skin against your own. “You’re not hurt, are you?” your voice was pricked with concern, hands gentle as you cupped his jaw and turned his head from side to side. Chuuya let out a breath, fondness flickering in his irises at your concern. “Barely a scratch,” he murmured, and you seemed to accept his answer. “Chuuya,” you started, and his gaze locked onto yours. He voiced your name in response. “I need you to promise me something, please?” “Anything.” 

You bit your lip. Your mind told you it was a selfish request. You understood, probably better than most, how unpredictable your boyfriend’s line of work could be. But you had accepted it as an adequate price to pay for his love when the two of you started seeing each other, even more so when you moved in together. He was yours, you believed it with every fiber of your being. Chuuya had told enough stories of his old work partner for you to gather that the two had never exactly been the chummiest of pals. So the fact that they cooperated for this mission must’ve meant that it couldn’t have been a minor dilemma. You understood why Chuuya made the decision he did, and that it was probably just as difficult on him. Albeit, that didn’t make your feelings any less real. Your heart reminded you of the unconditional love and comfort that Chuuya always offered you. You knew he’d never intentionally hurt your feelings, especially not without talking it out and making up for it in some way afterward. “Doll…?” he barely breathed, giving you all the space you needed to voice what was on your mind. You took a deep breath. “Don’t… please don’t scare me like that again,” your voice wavered as you spoke, “Everything on the news is scary. And every time I watch it all I can think about is the fact that you’re out there.” You took a moment to glance at the group of Armed Detective Agency members on the airport runway to your left. One of the so-called terrorists you heard about on the news stood amongst the group about ten feet away from where you watched. The world was confusing, and scary, but there was a certain security in your heart that told you as long as you had Chuuya by your side, everything would be okay. “First you’re leaving before sunrise and staying out late on special missions, and I get it, I really do…” you felt a lump beginning to form in your throat, threatening to make you choke over your words, “but then you just leave on a business trip to Europe without so much as a ‘goodbye, I’ll be home soon’? And I have to find out from a call from your boss? I didn’t- I still don’t understand what’s happening. Do you know how scared I was? That I might not ever see you again?” Chuuya’s thumb swiped away the teardrop that ran down your cheek, his eyes trailing over your expression. “You’re right, it’s not fair… I don’t think I could ever apologize enough,” he began, his hold on you tightening slightly, “All that I can ask is for you to understand. I can explain everything to you when we get home. And I promise, I’ll do my best to not leave you in the dark so suddenly. It was an urgent mission, but it must have been scary. You’ll never have to feel like that again, not if I can help it.” Chuuya’s face softened, the corners of your lips curving up slightly at his sincerity as he cupped your cheek. “Shit… you deserve so much better.” You stood there for a moment, just breathing. Soaking in each other’s presence as your heartbeat gradually fell back to its usual pace.

“My my, Slug, is this the lovely lady you were so eager to get back to?” a voice chimed from your left, and you turned your head to face the man at the same time Chuuya snapped his head in that direction. Your boyfriend clicked his teeth, pressing your body closer to his own. “What’s it to you, huh, Dazai?” Chuuya was clearly trying to suppress his irritation. He was doing especially well, considering the fact that he had been holed up next to Dazai on an airplane for the past fourteen hours. “I’m just trying to acquaint myself,” the man went on, a grin playing on his lips despite Chuuya’s glare, “As a responsible owner, I should at least make sure my dog is in good hands.” You tilted your head slightly, and Chuuya sucked in a breath. “You’re treading on some pretty thin ice, Mackerel,” he growled through gritted teeth, “Watch what you say around my girl.” The taller man only took a step forward, his eyes glittering in amusement, a sharp contrast to the hollowed out, almost dead look he carried earlier. “Oh? Holding back your more vulgar language around the lady?” Dazai hummed with mild intrigue, “Perhaps my dog is being well taken care of.” You simply stood and watched with intrigue, the interaction clearly more complex than distinguishable at first glance. Despite their constant verbal jabs and ostentatious insults toward each other, there was a sense of familiarity between the two that was almost palpable to you. They bounced off each other, knowing exactly which buttons to press and which ones to avoid. It was probably a welcome change of tone in contrast to what they had just been through. Your gaze flickered between the two once more, and you couldn’t help but notice how the tension in Chuuya’s shoulders had been released. “Dazai-san?” your voice was level, and both of the men fell silent to give you their attention. You looked at your beloved, then to his ex-partner, then Chuuya, then Dazai again. Mirth swam in your eyes. “I want to thank you for making sure Chuuya was able to return home safely today. Truly, I cannot thank you enough.” You gave a slight bow of your head, and Chuuya looked like he wanted to protest. For once, Dazai didn’t immediately produce a response; he fell silent at your sentiment. This time, a gentler smile curved onto his lips. “Please spare me, Miss,” Dazai began, “Truth be told, I don’t believe I could have made it out without Chuuya’s help either.” The redhead raised his eyebrows. "I'm passing him into your capable hands now. I trust you’ll take good care of him?” Dazai seemed satisfied with the chuckle that slipped from your throat. “You have nothing to worry about,” you replied, “And I trust that your detective agency will treat you well?” “They always have.” Chuuya let out a breath, sharing a look with his partner before turning to face a black passenger vehicle that had pulled up a short distance away. Tinted windows that prevented anyone outside from peeking in; glass, body, and tires that were all bulletproof. It was one of the mafia’s. 

“C’mon Dollface, we should get going. Don’t wanna be here when the press shows up, and the boss is probably dying for me to give him a call,” Chuuya nodded his head in the direction of the car; you brought your hand up to give a small wave to Dazai and the handful of agency members further away who glanced in your direction. You let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in, allowing your head to rest on Chuuya’s shoulder as you made your way to the car. You felt like you could finally breathe properly again. The door unlocked with a quiet click. Chuuya swung open the door of the vehicle with his non gloved hand and stepped aside to allow you to enter first. “...Chuu?” you started quietly, taking a step closer to where he stood. “Hm?” he raised an eyebrow. You placed your hands loosely on the back of his neck, fingers intertwined; Chuuya responded by resting his hands on your hips, listening intently.  You could have held more of a grudge. He disappeared overnight without a word, and no one would tell you why. You’d been on edge for three days straight. Hardly even sleeping through the night as you kept up with the news almost obsessively, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. To be able to hold Chuuya close again so easily felt almost surreal. A soft smile creeped into your expression, the corners of your eyes crinkling as you tilted your head to the side. Chuuya’s breath stilled. “I’m just…” you paused for a moment, your voice pouring with sincerity, “I’m really glad you’re back, and that you’re safe.” Chuuya paused for another moment, studying you carefully as an equally tender look came to his face. He glanced to the side for a moment, and let out a disgruntled huff upon discovering that Dazai’s head was still tilted in your direction; he kept a curious eye on the situation from several meters away. Your boyfriend pursed his lips for a moment before snaking one of his hands further around your waist. He plucked his pork pie hat off the crown of his head, and before you had the chance to realize what was going on, you were already being gracefully tilted backwards, forcing your hands to grip onto the lapel of Chuuya’s jacket for support. Everything seemed to still the moment he slotted his lips into yours, holding his hat up to act as a shield from certain prying eyes. You didn’t hesitate to pull him in closer, your lashes fluttering shut as you savored what you felt like you had been missing for an eternity. Chuuya’s eyes were shut in concentration, his heart thrumming with delight at the familiar sensation of your lips molded against his own. Chuuya didn’t pull away until you were both light-headed from the lack of air. Cheeks flooded with warmth, looking at each other as if you were the only two people in the entire world. “I missed you so fucking much, you know that?” Chuuya’s voice was low as he brushed his thumb over your cheek. The two of you stood straight, lingering in each other’s embrace for a moment longer. Chuuya lightly tossed his hat inside the car and once more gestured with his arm out for you to enter first. The satisfied smile on his lips morphed into one of slight perplexion when you didn’t show a reaction, raising your fingertips to brush over your lips. “Chuuya?” you questioned, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He replied with your name, all the more puzzled when you let out an incredulous chuckle. “Since when are your teeth so sharp?” 

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹ a/n: Thank you so much for reading! Have a day/night/morning/evening as lovely as yourself. tagging: @judasgot-it (I noticed that I wrote down that I agreed to tag you for chuuya fics but I can't seem to remember why?? TwT please tell me if this is incorrect! Thank you <3)

[anniebeemine]

requests? say no more.

ok this is a little angsty so only if you're comfortable but maybe s2 spencer and reader have been dating for 3-4 months when the whole tobias thing happens. spencer starts pushing away reader and wont tell her anything. bc this is a new relationship she is very confused and insecure and confronts him asking if he wants to break up and he doesn't know bc on one hand he cares about her but on the other hand he is embarrassed and doesnt want her to deal with this so new in a relationship. happy ending PLEASE (for my soul)

as you can tell i have thought about this A LOT lmao

my heart hurts... (i haven't seen this arc in a while so I hope this is accurate enough)

warnings: discussions of addiction, happy-ish ending. I left it open ended but positive

You and Spencer had only been dating for a few months when everything started to unravel. At first, it had been perfect—those sweet, awkward moments when he was still trying to figure out how to be in a relationship, the way his eyes lit up when he saw you, the late-night talks that stretched into the early hours of the morning. But after a week away, everything changed.

You weren’t exactly sure what had happened. You didn't want to press, but his friends had warned you that it was bad. All you knew for sure was that Spencer had come back different. The spark in his eyes was dulled, and he barely looked at you anymore. There was no explanation, no details of the trauma he'd endured, just this cold distance that settled between you. You’d sit on the couch together, but it felt like you were miles apart. He was always tugging at his sleeve, fidgeting, avoiding eye contact. His hands used to brush against yours absentmindedly, and now they stayed firmly in his lap, clenched into fists.

He didn’t stay long during those visits either—every time he showed up, it felt like he was itching to leave. You’d ask him to stay for dinner or suggest going for a walk, and he’d make some excuse, slipping away before you could even finish your sentence. You tried to give him space, hoping it was just a phase, but the more space you gave him, the more it felt like he was pulling away entirely.

Eventually, the visits became shorter and shorter until they stopped happening altogether. Weeks went by without hearing from him, and your calls went straight to voicemail. You didn’t know how to navigate it. You knew Spencer had been through something terrible, but he wouldn’t let you in. And it hurt. It hurt in ways you hadn’t expected. You weren’t just confused—you were insecure. Was it you? Was it something you did? Did he want to break up?

The questions swirled in your mind until you couldn’t take it anymore. One night, you couldn’t sleep, your thoughts running wild. You sat there in the dark, staring at your phone, your heart aching. You missed him. You missed his voice, his touch, the way he would ramble about anything and everything because it made him feel more comfortable. And now, all you had was silence.

You needed answers. You needed to know where you stood before you drove yourself mad.

The next day, you found yourself outside his apartment, your heart pounding in your chest. You raised your hand to knock, but it hovered in the air, hesitation weighing you down. What if he didn’t want to see you? What if you were making everything worse by showing up like this?

But you pushed those thoughts aside and knocked.

It took a minute, but eventually, the door creaked open. Spencer stood there, looking just as tired and worn out as you’d imagined. His eyes flicked to you, surprise flashing across his face before he quickly tried to mask it.

"Y/N?" His voice was hoarse, almost like he hadn’t used it in a while.

“Spencer,” you said softly, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Can I come in?”

He hesitated, then stepped aside, letting you enter. The apartment was dimly lit, with stacks of books and papers cluttering the space. You sat down on the couch, and he sat across from you, his eyes glued to the floor.

You didn’t know how to start, so you just blurted it out. “Spencer, what’s going on? You’ve been so distant, and I... I just need to know if you want to break up.”

His head snapped up, eyes wide with shock. “What? No, I—”

“Then what is it?” you interrupted, your voice shaking. “You won’t talk to me, you won’t tell me anything. You barely even look at me anymore. I feel like... like I don’t even know you right now.”

Spencer flinched, and you could see the guilt wash over his face. He rubbed his hands together, still tugging on his sleeve like it was some sort of comfort. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”

“Then why?” you asked, your voice breaking. “Why are you pushing me away? If you care about me at all, please just tell me.”

Spencer stayed silent for a long moment, his brow furrowed in thought. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely audible. “I... I didn’t want you to deal with this.”

You frowned, confused. “Deal with what?”

He looked away again, his fingers trembling. “What happened... with... it... it changed me. I’m not... I’m not the same. I didn’t want you to have to see that or deal with it. I didn’t want to burden you with it when... when this relationship is still so new.”

Your heart clenched at his words, the weight of what he was saying finally sinking in. “Spencer... you’re not a burden. You’re never a burden.”

He shook his head, his voice laced with frustration. “You don’t understand. I’m embarrassed. I’m... ashamed. And I don’t want to drag you into that.”

You reached out and gently took his hand in yours, your thumb brushing over his knuckles. “I don’t care what happened, Spencer. I care about you. I want to be here for you, no matter what. But you have to let me in. You can’t keep shutting me out.”

Spencer’s hand trembled slightly in yours, his eyes still distant, but there was a softness to his gaze now that hadn’t been there before. You could see the exhaustion, the pain he’d been carrying alone. He sat up straighter, a sigh escaping his lips as though he were gathering the courage to continue.

“I... I haven’t been honest with you,” he started, his voice rough with emotion. He looked down at his lap, his fingers still fidgeting. “I’ve been using.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. It felt like time slowed for a second, the weight of those words crashing into you like a tidal wave. You didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to go down this road—but when you looked into his eyes, you saw the truth there. His face may have been painted with shame and anger, but his eyes… they were pleading. Pleading for understanding, for help.

“Spencer…” you whispered, your voice barely audible. You didn’t know what to say—part of you wanted to scream, to run, to escape the reality that was suddenly in front of you. But another part of you—the part that loved him deeply, that had spent countless nights by his side—knew you couldn’t abandon him now.

He pressed his lips into a thin line, trying and failing to keep the tears at bay. “I didn’t want to tell you,” he admitted, his voice shaking. “I thought... I thought I could handle it. That I could stop on my own.” He looked at your hand holding his, the tension in his body slowly easing. “I’m scared,” he admitted softly. “I’m scared that you’ll see the worst parts of me and... and you’ll leave.”

His words hit you hard. You could feel the vulnerability in every syllable, and your heart ached for him. You swallowed hard, your hand tightening around his as you whispered, “You don’t have to handle it alone. You don’t have to hide this from me.”

His breath hitched, and he turned his face away, wiping at his eyes quickly. He was still holding back, his guard up even as the cracks began to show. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I didn’t want you to know how weak I am.”

Your heart broke at the vulnerability in his voice. You squeezed his hand tighter, shaking your head. “I’m not going anywhere, Spencer. I’m here. And I’m not giving up on what's here.”

“Spencer, look at me,” you urged, your voice trembling with emotion. He hesitated for a moment before finally meeting your gaze, and what you saw nearly broke you. His face was twisted in pain, his eyes red-rimmed with tears. “You’re not weak,” you said softly. “You’ve been through hell, and you’re still standing. That’s not weakness.”

He shook his head violently. “No, you don’t understand.” His voice cracked, the dam he’d been holding back finally breaking. “I thought you’d leave me. I’ve been waiting for it. I’m a mess. I’m broken. I didn’t want to... drag you down with me.”

Your heart shattered at his words, at the depth of his self-loathing and fear. You could see now how much he had been struggling alone, how much he had kept bottled up inside, and it broke your heart that he thought he didn’t deserve help—or you.

Without a second thought, you pulled him into your arms, cradling him close. His body tensed for a moment before he melted into you, burying his face in your shoulder as his tears finally spilled over. He sobbed quietly, his hands gripping the back of your shirt as if afraid to let go.

“I’m not leaving,” you whispered fiercely, running your fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this, okay? We’ll figure it out together.”

He cried harder, his body shaking with each sob, and you held him tighter, pressing your cheek against his. “I thought… I thought I’d lost you,” he choked out. “I didn’t know how to... how to tell you. I thought I’d ruined everything.”

“You haven’t ruined anything, Spencer,” you assured him, your own voice breaking now. “I love you. We’ll get through this. I’m here. I’m right here.”

For what felt like an eternity, the two of you stayed like that—wrapped up in each other, holding onto the pieces of what had felt so fragile only moments before. His sobs gradually quieted, and he pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes still glistening with tears but filled with something else too—relief. Hope.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” you reminded him gently, brushing a tear from his cheek. “I’m not leaving, and we’ll find help. We’ll get through this together.”

He nodded, his fingers brushing lightly over yours as he whispered, “Thank you.” His voice cracked, but there was sincerity there—real, raw emotion that made your heart ache for him even more.

“Always,” you whispered, pulling him close again, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. You knew this wouldn’t be easy—there would be hard days, long nights, moments of doubt. But as long as you had him and he had you, you were ready to face whatever came next.

[stardusthuntress]

It will all be tagged "zenith writes" to make it easier to find.

NEW! taglist poll!

I write for the Clones of Star Wars x reader. You may request a GN!reader version of anything, OR if you spot something offensive or problematic and would like to (politely) let me know that there's a nicer way to phrase it, my inbox is open! Or if you want to pop in and say hi, dm me!

I just write when the inspiration hits. Mostly using this as my emotional processing system - just gonna write it all out. Shouting my nerdiness and pain into the void, maybe one day it will shout back (in a good way, hopefully). Thought others might relate and or have similar comfort mechanisms, so here's my work if ya wanna bother to read any of it!

Key: (consider ALL below to be NSFW, 18+)

* = smutty, even if mildly so, expect mentions of arousal and the like at a minimum

FOLLOWER CELEBRATION!!! There's ~150 of you now!!! (STARS that's a LOT!) And you guys decided you want more of my 'Right Attire' set! So that's what's in the works! That being said, FYI the title might change... (I promise I am still working on these!)

...and back to your regular programming!!!

The Bad Boys of Clone Force 99

Sergeant Hunter

* What Does Beauty Look Like? (female!reader) one-shot, implied smut!

* the Right Attire (afab!reader) one-shot, smut

ARC Corporal Echo

* a Gala-ctic Evening (afab!reader) one-shot, but featuring a smutty *Part 2!

* Hot... in So Many Ways! (femaleMandalorian!reader) one-shot, but will eventually have a smutty part 2!

Crosshair

To Speak Without Words (female!reader) mini-series, WIP (just Ch. 1 rn, 2 is in the works!)

Somebody to Lean On (female!reader) one-shot, hurt-comfort

Tech

What Does Real Love Look Like? (female!reader) one-shot, but I couldn’t resist making a *Part 2! With a happier ending that’s starting to get a little smutty!

* Turn Ons (gn!reader) drabble/imagine

EnigmaTech (female!reader) mini-series, WIP (Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, ...) my Tech lives AU! (he lives, but they still gotta go get him, and Cross, and Omega, with reader's help!)

Concealed in a Touch (gn!reader) one-shot, touch-starved comfort fic!

Technically, it's Body Dysmorphia (female!reader) drabble/imagine - just a short comfort fic!

All

* Strong Women (female!reader) drabble/imagine - individually, but in one post

Triggered (female!reader) one-shot - deals with body dysmorphia, angsty comfort fic, all the boys being sweet towards reader

Shark Week (afab!reader) one-shot - periods suck, the boys are here to help!

The Boys in Blue - the 501st

Captain Rex

Angel Eyes (female!reader) one-shot, Rex is flirty because it felt like it fit him in this scenario! Reader is Chiss (look up Thrawn if this is new to you!)

Ancient Remedies (female!reader) one-shot, I guess it's a hurt-comfort, but Rex is the injured one and your job is to keep him from leaving medbay, for Kix's sanity of course

ARC Corporal Fives

What is Lost Can Also Be Found (female!reader) one-shot, sorta hurt-comfort but you’re comforting Fives, Fives Lives AU! (NEW)

Five for Fives (female!reader) one-shot, Fives Lives AU! (NEW)

The Knight in Shining Armor - Din Djarin

True Partners (femaleMandalorian!reader) mini-series, this one WILL get spicy - Ch. 1… WIP (NEW!)

Additional characters coming soon!

Credit Where It's Due:

Bad Batch boys dividers by @/djarrex

colorful dividers by @/saradika

(hyperspace headers/footers are my own)

Other

Lore rants: look for the tags “stardust rants” “zenith rants”, “infodump”, and “sw lore”

Science: I'm a space scientist by trade, so I have moments when I need to let my science out a bit. Those moments will be tagged as "secret scientist" and "Stardust rants" because my username is in fact, a pun. I could tell you more, but then it wouldn't be a secret, would it? ;P

no clone-cest here please!

[a-gal-with-taste]

From the Past

Morning Writing Practice based off this post by @bucky-yes, enjoy!

Wordcount: 1535 | Silco X GN!Reader

Warnings: SFW | Language, reminiscing, forbidden relationship, rom-com/humor with feels

"How soon can you get ready to leave?" For a long moment, all you do is lower your shot-glass from your lips, and stare at it. You are certain it's not laced with anything, dealers had been shooed from this side of the Underground for years now... but Benzo had manned the bar for a brief few moments while Vander went to greet the kids, and 'zo was known for experimenting...

A murmur of your name pulled your attention, and you turned, wide-eyed, to stare at the man beside you.

"... do you have a death-wish?"

"A lot of people seem to think that, actually," Silco commented lightly enough, even with his voice lowered as his natural gaze rolled slowly over the crowd. Apparently, he still had enough intelligence to wear a patch to conceal the more notable, recognizable other eye, but the fact that he was here at all made you seriously doubt if the river-toxins ate away at his brain, as much as his flesh and eyes.

"I don't know why, I think my natural distaste to reunite with death has been made very clear over the years-"

"Baby. Honey. Sweetheart, love of my life who is trying to send me to an early grave..." Delicately, you set your glass down with the most minimal of noise to attract attention, before hissing twice as quietly. "What the fuck?"

He turns to you fully, and rests his fingers loosely over his heart. "Early grave? Darling, after all we've been though, I would at least give you the courtesy of a fair-warning before twisting-in the knife." There was a twitch on his lips that suggested he was joking, but you only repeated yourself, stressing the words, "What the fuck?"

A brow raises. "I take it you are... unhappy that I decided to pick you up."

From The Last Drop? Yeah, you were feeling a bit concerned with his decision making.

"I'm... you..." Once again you look down at your shotglass, half-supicious, but also seeking confirmation that: yes, you weren't hallucinating and no, your lover apparently wasn't one of the more brilliant minds of the Undercity, but instead, an entire moron.

Silco was known, to the few aware of his continued existance, as a terrifyingly productive, relentless individual. Twisting words, deals and arms behind peoples back...

What he was NOT known for was paitence, especially when it came to you. This was proved as, tired of not being the center of your attention after he came all this way into the heart of enemy territory, Silco reached over and casually pushed the shotglass off the counter.

You caught the smug, zealous glint in his eye as you swung back around to gap at him when the glass shattered behind the counter. "What the fuck?"

A wink, and that pleased look at his small act of rebellion, and perhaps long-awaited vengeance in the form of a broken glass, faded. "Neither of us has much time," He informed you in lieu of an actually explanation, slipping his hands back into his pockets. "Tonight, or in the great scope of our universe, as some like to monologue about..."

It was laughable. The man who never seemed to shut up, to his detriment and your bemusement, complaining about monologues.

You would laugh, but you couldn't even comprehend the idea of speaking.

"If this truly shocks you, I only ask that you accompany me out the door," Silco says, a pinched look on his face as he looks at your stiff, yet also slack expression and body from this development. "It'll quiet most rumors. You can laugh it off when Vander comes to question, and it will ward off anyone from coming to close to investigate..."

There's a tenseness in his form and voice now. And while, privately, you would feel relieved at the idea that he's taking the situation seriously, you also feel a strange burst of guilt as you realize he's taking your silence for rejection. That he's already seeking an escape route, fighting from racing out the door - and again, while an improvement that gives you hope that his mental facilities to detect danger haven't worn away with time, you feel guilt he would think you would push him away now.

Even while staying at Vander's circle, you hadn't given up on Silco. Never let him slip from your grasp, especially not after dragging his soaked, bleeding body from the river. And once he had understood that, Silco worked tirelessly to ensure you were forever locked in his, even though physically you were apart.

He was the one man you would happily throw away the key for.

"Let..." You sighed, resisting the urge to smile when his gaze darted back to you, seafoam eye, though carefully blank, wide at the sound of your hesitant voice. Even with the ominous front and darkening aesthetic, there was still something almost puppylike in the way you could attract Silco's entire attention with even the smallest of actions.

You imagined saying this to his face would earn you a stab in the back, but, he had said he would give you a fair-warning first.

That would give you enough time to wink or smile at him, making him forget why he was preparing to impale you in the first place.

"Let me go grab my jacket. It'll take a minute, tops."

"You're sure?"

Offhanded, almost casual, but you could still see the tenseness in his frame. You made it melt by reaching over, brushing your knuckles only once, over the unscarred cheekbone. "You risked a total beatdown and potential death to come and find me for a fun time... I'd say you earn a few hours."

Your teasing murmur got caught-off with a hitched breath as he reached up, grabbing your wrist.

Guiding your hand to his mouth, Silco slid his eye up to yours, and you could feel it's corrupted twin beneath leather gazing at you as he pressed his lips to your knuckles.

"I intend for it to be more than a few hours," He murmured, pressing a more firmer kiss to your knuckles at the quiet breath of his name.

For a single, perfect moment, it was like nothing at all had ever changed.

For a moment, the rebellion was still up and prouder than ever. For a moment, the restless anticipation in this room of bitter veterans melted to eager, at-ready Brothers and Sisters, never divided and openly laughing at the idea that they could be. Youth and the cheapest of booze flowed freely with laughter, banter and the beginnings of a drunken sing-along in the corner.

If you blinked, you could even almost see the Sons of Zaun united once more.

Could almost see Benzo in the middle of some lame joke while mixing a concerning alcoholic concoction. Vander, still bold and strong, throwing his head back in a booming laugh that would never truly fade, only grow quieter. His hand paused mid-air to come down jovially at Silco's shoulder, the wiry younger man's frown twitching upwards in a failed battle to hide his smirk.

In a single instant behind your eyes, you could almost believed that that moment had lasted forever.

Then Silco squeezed your hand, gently, and the too-brief moment ended.

His eye was soft, but unapologetic. He couldn't rewind the clock anymore than you could, even with these brief moments that Silco could almost make you feel younger again.

But he understood, nonetheless. That pretty image of, what you all had thought had been undying loyalty and uncompromising comradery, was only a dream. And even though Silco was relentless in his pursuit of making visions come true, both of you knew full well that this one would never, ever be.

Perhaps that was why you still clung to each other in secret. Better to cling together to the remnants of an impossible dream, then wilt in bitter, painful realities, alone.

"Your jacket?"

"Yes... one moment."

A squeeze of your hand once more, before he released you, latching on once again when you returned in only half the time.

Silco guided you out from The Last Drop, head ducked and steps quickened only slightly as he strided out from the establishment of another man's memories, another life. But he took you with him, clung to you, even, as a walking reminder of what he used to have.

Silco all but raced from his past, but gladly took you with him.

Squeezed you close to his side as he released a long breath the moment you were both outside, and somehow tugged you even tighter when he did so.

Snuggling close to him as you walked from the Heart of the Undercity, and into the shadows in the arms of your lover, you were, suddenly, glad. Still questioning his intellect, but glad he had braved the journey to his past only to come collect you.

Glad, because you could sooth him with your arm wrapped tight around him as he once more escaped from The Last Drop, and ensure he never had to make the trek from his old life alone.

"... all this for a bit of action?"

A snort sounded from your tease, the first noise he'd made in the last several blocks of walking. "No." Silco turned, and bumped his arched-nose slightly agaisnt your temple as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"For you."

-

Taglist: @mazikomo @sweatandwoe @ironandglass @betasuppe @dropssofjupitter @bb-8 @syx-00 @wanna-plan-world-domination @agoutighost @lackofhonor @zillahvathek @aboveasphodel @ellhd-imagination @intpthinkinginquiet @ladykatakuri @littledollll @atalldrinkofcaprisun

[nightingaelic]

Companions react to a Courier with the Eye for Eye perk just walking around with half their limbs broken because the pain is literally making them stronger.

TW: Blood, gore

The courier was nowhere to be found when their companion awoke beneath the soft firelight of the Dead Horses' torches and the bright eyes of the man who led them.

"I believe they've left us for the evening," the Burned Man said in his usual aloof tone, even as he reclined behind his workbench in Angel Cave. "I've never walked the path of a courier, but I imagine it transfers a certain restlessness to an individual. Staying in one place loses some of its charm. Your particular courier, however, lets that instinct drive them to the point of being foolhardy."

As if to prove Joshua Graham's speculation correct, the courier staggered into the cave, their clothes torn and bloodied. Despite sporting an obvious limp, an arm curled protectively against their chest and deep claw marks all over their face, they were shouldering a yao guai's severed head alongside their full traveling pack and wearing a wild smile.

Arcade Gannon: "God dammit." Arcade disentangled himself from his bed roll and rushed to the courier's side, ignoring Graham's obvious disapproval at his taking the Lord's name in vain. "I told you not to run off into the canyon without packing extra stimpaks. Here, let me-"

The courier stopped his fumbling hands with both of theirs. Arcade looked down in shock at the broken arm that was firmly grasping his fingers, then up into their frenzied eyes. "Six, you need-"

"I don't." The courier spat some blood out onto the dirt floor of the cave. "I don't. The Sorrows... White Bird..."

Arcade mentally cursed the tribe up the river, then just as quickly withdrew the malevolent thoughts. It wasn't their fault the courier went looking for injuries. "Datura root? Okay, sit down, over there. Take a load off."

The courier limped over to the chair Joshua Graham was offering. They sank into it with a sigh and let the yao guai head fall to the floor, where it began to bleed onto their boots. "Thanks," they said. "I should-"

Arcade stuck them in the arm with the stimpak he kept concealed for these occasions, and they screeched, loud enough to cause even the Malpais Legate to jump. "Fucking hell, Arcade! Not again!"

Craig Boone: Boone jumped to his feet. "I can't be your spotter if you keep leaving me behind, Six. Tell me you haven't been using that junk again."

In answer, the courier pulled an empty Sunset Sarsaparilla bottle rigged with a hose and tin foil from inside their pack and tossed it aside. "Last dose, I swear. Not that it helped much in close quarters."

They lifted the yao guai head high over their own, striking a victorious pose. "Shouldn't bother the Dead Horses or the Sorrows again, unless there really is a ghost out there."

Boone and Graham stared at the courier, particularly at their bent arm. "You require medical attention," Graham pointed out. "Shall I fetch the shaman?"

"No thank you." The courier made a face and heaved the animal's head across the room. It flew through the air in a nice arc, bounced twice, then rolled to a stop at the Burned Man's feet.

"Six..." Boone said testily.

The courier groaned, familiar with the serious tone. "Fine. But I've had worse scrapes, and you know it."

Lily Bowen: "Pumpkin!" Lily shrieked and rushed to the courier's side. Her hands flew up and around them, but every time she attempted to touch them she recoiled out of fear of causing pain. "Pumpkin, you need to see a doctor."

"We've been over this, Lily," the courier replied, attempting to skirt around the nightkin that blocked their way. "It hurts, but I work through it, and I always come out on top of whatever caused it."

"Sweetness, you're bleeding." Lily finally located a portion of the courier that wasn't in danger of extra bruising and took hold of them, sweeping them up into a gentle fireman's carry. "We'll go visit that nice Waking Cloud lady and get you fixed up."

"Lily, put me down!" The courier squirmed atop the super mutant. To the surprise of everyone involved, they managed to unbalance her enough to send both of them tumbling to the cave floor.

Joshua Graham looked down at the courier, who was wrestling for control of their leg in order to escape Lily's grasp. "God protect you," he said, but it wasn't clear who he was speaking to.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: "Mij@." Raul approached the courier carefully, trying to locate all of their new bumps and scrapes. He was more than familiar with their latest attempts to prove their own strength, but it pained him to see them like this. Still, he knew better than to try to force medicine into them, now. "Estoy aquí para ti. Can I help?"

They tensed for a moment, as he'd expected, but a few more soothing words sent their shoulders back down. "Sí. I'm... I'm tired."

Ignoring the Burned Man's protests, Raul claimed the room's chair and carried it over to them. They eased into it, wincing slightly but still clinging to their belongings. Raul convinced them to hand their weapons, pack and bear head over one by one, all the while assuring them that he meant no harm, no offense, no judgment.

"You can't keep doing this, Six," he said, when they finally let him inspect their broken arm. He could see the bone under the skin, out of place in an obvious way that would've had him laid up in bed for weeks.

"I can handle-"

"I know you can." Raul fixed them in his gaze. "I can't."

They smiled sadly. "Lo siento. I'll try to be more careful."

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Cass rolled her eyes. "Figures. Waited until I was asleep, then you ran off to have all the fun on your lonesome. Let's get you cleaned up, Six."

She lunged for the courier, but despite their precarious state they managed to dodge her. "Uh-uh. I'm invincible. You're gonna ruin it."

"Invincible?" Cass dashed to block their escape. "Sure, you can probably still kick my ass, but you sure as hell can't outrun me."

"Might the pair of you take this little game outside," Graham grumbled from his seat.

"Shut it, Burnt Man," Cass shot back.

The courier couldn't help but giggle at that. "Burned. Burned Man."

"Oh, you're gonna give me grammar lessons?" Cass lunged again and managed to seize a handful of the courier's tattered coat. "Give them to me up close. I dare you."

In response, the courier grabbed Cass' arm with their broken one and easily flung her around them in a circle, until she went somersaulting away onto the ground. "There's lesson one."

Cass sat up and jammed her hat back on her head. "Fine. Damn."

Veronica Santangelo: "How are you walking?!?" Veronica stared, open-mouthed, at the bloody figure in the cave entrance.

The courier shrugged, then winced at their own movement. "Does it matter? I'm alive."

"Yeah, but life won't be much of a comfort if you don't get some of those fractures set right." Veronica rose from her bed roll and approached them carefully. Her eyes flickered from wound to wound, and she tutted as she drew back the loose pieces of fabric that the yao guai had ripped to shreds. "Get over here and make yourself useful, Graham. Six, you probably shouldn't be awake when I start putting you back together."

They withdrew their limp arm from her grasp firmly. "Leave it be. It gave me the energy I needed to finish the thing off."

"Adrenaline will do that," Veronica agreed. "But its shelf life is short. Pretty soon you're going to be wishing that bear took your head off. Graham, I meant what I said, go find me some boiled water and bandages or I'll personally deliver your location to Caesar myself."

"Caesar is well aware of my current whereabouts," Graham replied evenly. "You would do well to listen to the Scribe, courier."

"Both of you?" The courier deflated. "Fine. Just get me a drink before you start moving bones around."

ED-E: The eyebot beeped in an alarmed manner as the courier swayed on their feet. It swiveled its dome between the injured friend and the bandaged man, who caught the movement and shook his head. "While you were updating your programming, your master was testing the limits of their own abilities, robot. It is not my place to interfere."

ED-E made a flat blaaaaat sound at him that sounded scornful, and floated over to the courier's side. The courier laughed. "Don't worry about me, little guy. It takes more than one yao guai to ruin my day."

Rex: The scent of the yao guai's and the courier's blood filled Rex's nostrils, and he rose from his sleeping hollow with a whine, unsure. When the courier beckoned him, he trotted over and began licking their visible wounds, sparing a growl here and there for the yao guai head that hung on their back.

Graham regarded the cyberdog with something akin to affection. "He senses your pain, courier. You would do well to set him at ease."

"He's seen me closer to death than this," they replied, scratching the dog behind the ears with their good arm. "And if the White Legs hear about the courier who walks through broken bones, maybe they'll think twice about attacking the people I'm friends with."

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

[eggrestes]

ladrien fic recs!

there are SO MANY amazing ladrien fics i cant possibly cover them all but here are a few!

(all the ratings used are ao3 ratings)

((this is a very long post!))

FLUFF

Of Ivy and Sunlight by cyanise [ T, 1509 words, 1/1 ]

When Adrien takes to wandering the streets of Paris in ungodly hours, Ladybug has no choice but to keep an eye on him. Still, things are bound to get a little out of hand between two overloaded teenagers with a lot of love and not enough self-control. 

a lovely post-chat blanc fic :’) it has a great flow and is just soft and so sweet and it’s just perfect. gosh i cannot really say more other than read it!!! also almost all of their other stuff is also ladrien so do check it out!

This can't be happening by PlaPla [ T,  6,467 words, 1/2 ]

Ladybug is unsure whether accompanying Adrien to a gala as his not-date is the best or worst thing that has ever happened to her. But when their table mates turn out to be none other than her long time friends Alya and Nino and with Adrien acting weirder and weirder she finds herself with bigger worries than an unrequited crush.

a djwifi/ladrien double date? hit me up! i love identity shenanigans, ball dancing, ladrien, and djwifi and this is a perfect mix for me. i know it’s incomplete but it doesn’t end in a cliff-hanger really, the part 2 is just a promise of more so it doesn’t feel incomplete! PlaPla also has a short oneshot of ladrien going for a motorcycle ride.

Falling again by emsylcatac [ M,  4,506 words, 2 Works ]

They had been dancing around each other for a while now, and while fifteen year old Adrien would have been ecstatic at the idea of dating Ladybug in secret, twenty-two year old Adrien knew better. But Ladybug wasn’t making it easy. It was like… she, too, was falling for him. And that surprisingly enough, she didn’t mind.

* * *

Or Adrien trying (and failing) to keep things professional between him and Ladybug when the two of them partner up for a mission. Older AU

things are a little steamy~ here (don’t worry, it’s only implied it’s very mild and closer to a T rating than the M) but it’s a great mature take on their dynamics! emsy has more ladrien one-shots in her collection of one-shots!

i'd love to go on a date with you by sae_what  [ G,  6,480 words, 1/1 ]

Once it had been falsely announced throughout Paris that Adrien and Ladybug are in a relationship, Ladybug pays him a visit to turn him down gently.

Only, she doesn’t. And instead, she has a formal dinner date. With Adrien. At 8 pm. Tonight.

LADYBUG IN A SUIT!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. okay but for real it’s so sweet and also??? they are on a date!!! a rooftop date!! (too man exclamation marks oops)

Always Welcome by  chatonne-rousse [ T, 1,683 words, 1/1 ]

Ladybug knows that Adrien's window is always open for her to swing by and stop in, whether for video games or a chat or, like tonight, for soft kisses and sweet nothings.

He loves these visits. His girlfriend is always welcome. Always. (Especially for kisses.)

Written for Ladrien June, day 8: bluebell eyes.

established relationship, pre-reveal ladrien. there is something very home-y about this fic and it’s all about the comfort and quiet that i adore about it!

Five Times Gabriel Agreste Caught Ladybug in His Son’s Bedroom (and the One Time He Caught Chat Noir) by agrestenoir [ T,  1,923 words, 1/1]

Gabriel Agreste keeps finding Ladybug in his son's bedroom. As a super villain and father, this will not stand.

this crack fic is... honestly so hilarious. it’s all through gabrie-i-am-trying-to-parent-and-failing-a-lot-agreste’s POV so it is so much ridiculous! 

an uncurtain discovery by  Missnoodles [ T, 4,684 words, 1/1 ]

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Adrien is being a cat and gets tangled in the curtains on his window and it’s utterly ridiculous. all the bug and the cat tendencies make it funnier and adrien’s inner monologue is just a cherry on top!

secret valentine by a_miiraculer [ T,  12,245 words, 1/1 ]

this is the moment that we will come alive brace yourself for love sweet love, secret love

If Adrien had known that getting himself stuck in a tree would end like this, he would've gotten himself stuck sooner.

A drabble series.

i just,,,, don’t have words for how much i love it! it’s ridiculous, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s whole-some and just ladrien. the writer also has a M rated multi-chapter ladrien kissing (no the M is very much real here) and a heroic adrien and ladybug one-shot too! 

Those Benevolent Stars by peachcitt [ G,  23,696 words, 3/3 ]

“Will you come back?”

She looked up at the deep blue sky, as if she could somehow find the answer there. “I shouldn’t,” she said, shaking her head and looking back at him. But the stars were still there, caught in her eyes, and Adrien persisted.

“But will you?”

or

adrien meets his soulmate, a thief who calls herself ladybug. he falls for her, but she seems determined to maintain a space between them.

oh my god this au.... just no words!! it’s poetry and it’s tender and it’s about the yearning and just!!! perfect :’). Her current ongoing ladrien june fic is also akin to this (and the fic i linked before it) so do check it out too! (literally check out all of their works it’s so beautiful)

Flowers on the Window Sill by LNC [ G,  2,144 words, 1/1 ]

The first time Ladybug saw him, really saw him, the universe stopped.

this fic feels like poetry and it’s so lovely. LNC is always short and direct but it always hits right in the feels while also being hilarious. Her  other ladrien works are just as good and i highly recommend going through them because it fulfills all of the ladrien needs (along with Reiaji)

whatever a sun will always sing is you by komorebirei [ T,  32,980 words, 37/37 ]

“I didn't think you'd actually... do anything," Adrien admitted, cheeks prickling with warmth. "I-I mean, I never expected... I didn't know you watched my interviews.” That definitely wasn’t how he'd imagined confessing to Ladybug.

“Of course I do!” Ladybug squeaked. “Uhh, that is…” She looked down at her hands, nervously turning her yo-yo over, over and over. “Maybe you’re not the only one with a crush.”

(After an unexpected confession, Ladybug and Adrien start dating in secret. A progressive character- and relationship-study quilted from drabbles, with the intention of digging treasure out of the cove that is Ladrien. Written using kashimalin-fanfiction's kiss writing prompts from Tumblr.)

it does such an excellent job at exploring this dynamic along with the characters. it’s such a sweet fic, each chapter short and fun!

ANGST

whose woods these are (I think I know.) by  Reiaji [ T,  105,000 words, 25/25 ]

Four years after his future turns to cinders, Adrien is a servant in the house he was meant to inherit. Disowned by his father and abused by his stepmother, his days are filled with drudgery until he meets a masked huntress in the forest behind his father's chateau.

As his friendship with Ladybug turns to first love, he dreams of a future spent at her side.

Then, on the eve of the Princess's masquerade, he meets his guardian—and is granted a wish.

[Ladrien Cinderella AU]

Warnings: Child abuse, Graphic depiction of violence

this is absolutely gorgeous. it has so many troupes and so many amazing character arc and great build up and everything just flows so well. it left me in awe for weeks and i just. want to experience reading it for the first time again. look at this gorgeous art inspired by this! {and you have to read  leonard bernstein too because LETTERS and LADRIEN and YEARNING}

i would do it again (oh, a thousand times) by bugabisous [ T, 2,266 words, 1/1 ]

Knowing you can bring someone back doesn’t mean you’re free of the pain of seeing them disappear before your eyes. He can’t imagine he’ll be able to look at her directly without replaying every horrifying moment when he felt her slip away in a puff of smoke.

When it happens once again, he already knows he’ll be trying again. He just can’t give up.

it expands on adrien’s feelings in the episode desperada (my beloved <3) and it is just ouch. such great angst, such great potential. the kind of tragedy that it offers is unusual for ml (it gets only rivaled by chat blanc tbh). to rival this angst bugabisous also has a fluffy one-shot :)

when the world gets too heavy (put it on my back) by Taliax [ T, 4,720 words, 1/1 ]

Chat Noir isn't allowed to cry over his father. But even when he's just Adrien, Ladybug won't abandon him.

Hawkmoth reveal hurt/comfort + Ladrien

the plagg and adrien bond written is just perfect, and oh this hits right in the feels :’) it hurts all in the right way. tali also has so many other ladrien works in all genres too

By Your Side by omniousunflower [ T, 4,361 words, 1/1 ]

(Angry and alone, Adrien waits on top of the Eiffel Tower for his lady.)

“So, how did my kitty get stranded up here?” Ladybug asks.

Groaning, Adrien pulls his knees toward his chest and presses his face against them. “Because he’s stupid and impulsive.”

“Chasing pigeons, then?”

“No.” Shame burns in Adrien’s veins, white-hot now that Ladybug is here to witness his stupidity. “I threw my Miraculous, and Plagg wouldn’t get it for me.”

post-hawkmoth defeat, and adrien is not doing well at all. i am cheating because it is post reveal, pre relationship but it’s still ladrien. this fic is a roller coater of emotions, starting from a slightly crack scenario to a cute, awkward, hopeful ending.  More Than You Know is another of sunny’s angsty ladrien work!

Breaking The Rules (AKA The Ladrien Fistfight) by ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap [ T, 8,714 words, 1/1 ]

Marinette may or may not be dying, but she’s still going to do her best to fix every single problem in the world. She’s not expecting Adrien to be the one who tries to stop her. (Takes place immediately after Kwami Buster)

Warnings: panic attack, broken bones, PTSD. please read the tags!

*slaps this fic* this fic can fit in so much angst. it just?? left me in PAIN oof. it says ‘ladrien fistfight’ on the lid but nooo there is marinette is just having a freak out and it’s all so much??!! and it’s not just marinette there is adrien too and chloe and alya and- wow it’s amazing. love it so much it fills up my angst needs :’)

so that’s it for now! my personal commentary isn’t impressive nor does it do justice to the fic but i still hope you read a few of these!! happy reading!!

[chalky]

The Commodification of c!Tubbo

This essay is unnecessary but I think about it too much so here you go

At this point, y’all are probably sick and tired of me rambling about c!Tubbo, as this is about all my original posts are. But, I feel as though this is an important aspect of his character that is either swept under the rug or never given any second glance.

Whether intentionally or not, Tubbo has been constantly commodified by allies and enemies alike (don’t even get me started on the fandom, that’s for a whole other post). Like, throughout the entire story of the Dream SMP, Tubbo has been looked down upon as a yes man, sidekick, or extension of another character who is incapable of making decisions for himself, which is such a degrading thing to experience for so long and explains why his character values himself so little.

This is a long one, heads up!

 I want to break up this dehumanization and commodification into three categories:

Tubbo is either a pawn (something to be used), a trophy(something to be owned), or a scapegoat(something to be blamed) to others.

Tubbo Seen as a Pawn:

Wilbur loved Tubbo, but his treatment of him during the Pogtopia arc was definitely sad to see. (Note: Wilbur was spiraling and his mental health was in shambles. He couldn’t help his paranoia and he deserved way better than the ending he got, but that doesn’t absolve the effects of his actions on others). First he took Tubbo on as a spy, a very dangerous role that landed him dead, but throughout Tubbo’s service Wilbur saw him as an obedient pawn, while not a loyal one. A pawn ready to turn to whatever authority figure commanded him best. His remarks about Tubbo being a yes man back this up, and the way he warns Tommy that Tubbo will betray them erases all of Tubbo’s identity and reduces it to that of a spy (again, this is born of Wilburs paranoia, this isn’t his fault).

Dream made it very clear that he regarded Tubbo as lesser than a toy, so obedient and trusting that he wasn’t worth keeping alive because he was so boring to him. The whole speech about Tubbo being worthless wasn’t even directed at him despite him being right there. Dream only addressed Tommy as if he was the one whose opinion on Tubbos fate mattered.

Jack Manifold literally used Tubbo’s trust to attempt to kill Tommy, saying that he was a sweet guy but way too gullible. No better way to treat someone as a pawn to further ones own agenda than by literally using them. (Him talking about how he’d be there to comfort Tubbo after the assisted murder of his best friend still mildly disturbs me).

Quackity managed to talk Tubbo into going through with the Butcher Army, using Tubbo’s power to further Quackity’s agenda (which, by Quackity’s own admission, did not revolve around the protection of L’manburg.) Quackity didn’t care that Tubbo was against violence, and pushed his concerns to the side in favor of his own ideas and kept comparing Tubbo to Schlatt whenever he acted in a way he disagreed with.

Speaking of, THE CONSTANT DISREGARD OF HIS DECISIONS AS PRESIDENT. His Cabinet never listened to him and lowkey every stream they had together was a bit frustrating to me (I’m also a sensitive bitch). They didn’t respect him in any way and undermined his authority UNTIL THEY NEEDED HIM TO SAVE EVERYONE’S LIFE. (Elaborated on in Scapegoat Category).

Technically, as much as I am a Tommy apologist, Tommy’s constant insistence that the Disc War needed to involve Tubbo kind of fits under this category. As much as Tubbo was happy to help, his involvement wasn’t really necessary, but Tommy needed someone to help him. This involvement nearly resulted in his willing death.

The only reason Dream even wanted to kill Tubbo, on top of perceiving him as useless, was to hurt Tommy and give him something of a “hero origin story” like Batman and his parents or Spider-Man and Uncle Ben. So, literally by Dream’s definition, he wanted to fridge Tubbo.

We could refer to Wilbur assigning Tubbo to presidency as Wilbur using him to make the explosion of L’manburg hurt more, but that feels like a stretch to me.

This may be a stretch, but after Tubbo is executed and Tommy starts getting mad at Technoblade, Wilbur eggs Tommy on by saying “Think of what he did to Tubbo,” while Tubbo is literally right there. His emotions on the event doesn’t matter to Wilbur, only how it impacted Tommy.

Tubbo Seen as a Prize/Trophy

The constant referral of Tubbo as something to be owned by someone, like during Wilburs speech of “he’s your Tubbo!”, is a bit off putting though I don’t think it’s meant to be malicious. Very rarely is the sentiment reversed, seen when Ghostbur gave Tubbo the Your Tommy compass, furthering the idea that Tubbo is an object, something to be sought after and secured with little opportunity for him to own something himself. It’s always “Tommy’s Tubbo”. Also when Schlatt gloated about having “his very own Tubbo”.

Tommy shows more possessive behaviors when dealing with the discovery of Ranboo and Tubbo’s marriage, asking about permission and insisting that Ranboo stole Tubbo from him. I’m sure this is subconscious, I know Tommy values Tubbo as a person but he still reduces Tubbo to an object to guard because he treasures his friend.

Another more vague example would be the fact that Schlatt exiled Wilbur and Tommy, but kept Tubbo as his right hand man even though it was clear he was on POG2020’s side. It was a way to insult Tommy, a way for Schlatt to add salt to the wound by keeping his best friend.

The Dream Team captured Tubbo very early into the Revolution, keeping him in a hole and holding him for ransom (this could be played off for laughs, I just remembered it). They also burned down his base, unrelated really but I remember it.

We could also count the way that Dream kept threatening to kill Tubbo if Tommy didn’t return the disc, but this feels like a mixture of pawn and prize, while still dehumanizing as it compares his value to that of music discs.

Yes, I am going to take c!Tommy joking about killing Michael to get Tubbo and Ranboo to break up so he can get Tubbo back seriously. The way he glared at Michael while holding an axe was just for the stream to see, if it was a joke I feel like he would have said it out loud. Even if it is a joke, laughing about taking something Tubbo loves away just to ruin his relationships is a bit yikes and frames Tubbo as something to be won back. You can ignore this if you didn’t see that moment as canon, but there are plenty of signs pointing to this being in character. (Also to be noted, Tubbo didn’t want to show Michael to Tommy, so Tommy ignored him and asked Ranboo instead, who immediately showed Tommy to Michael despite Tubbo’s clear worries)

Tubbo seen as a Scapegoat

His cabinet flip flopped back and forth on the decision to exile Tommy every five seconds. Whenever they spoke with Tubbo, they were all “You’re right! We’re going to listen to you! We have to do what’s right!” and then they hear a half baked plan and completely switch up on what they already agreed to do. (This happened twice. One at the sit down meeting where Tommy revealed Spirit and the cabinet joined Tommy in his mocking, only to blame him for how the meeting ended. Twice at the exile). So when Tubbo had to follow the original plan to, you know, make sure their country wasn’t put under lock and key until every citizen was eventually killed, his cabinet acted so shocked and betrayed and he was Schlatt and a dictator. It’s very true that he went against their plan (THAT THEY MADE FIVE MINUTES BEFOREHAND AFTER HAVING ALREADY AGREED TO THE FIRST PLAN FOR DAYS), but the way they treated him afterwards, as if he was a vile person for keeping his country safe, heavily impacted Tubbo’s mental state for a long time after. What I’m saying is Tubbo was set up to be the villain in that scenario, accidentally by his allies, and purposefully by Dream.

Tubbo was blamed for the destruction of L’manburg by Dream and a few others (also himself)

TUBBO IS CONSTANTLY BLAMED FOR THE BUTCHER ARMY ARC DESPITE IT BEING COMPLETELY THOUGHT OF AND LEAD BY QUACKITY (This is predominately fandom based).

The full blame for Tommy’s exile has rested on Tubbo (I will never forget Tommy calling him a monster), despite the fact he was manipulated and backed into a corner by Dream. Even when everyone has come to understand that Tommy was manipulated by Dream, the same doesn’t go for Tubbo and he’s hit with “imagine exiling your best friend” jokes many times.

Wilbur puts the decision of blowing people up at the festival on Tubbo’s shoulders, absolving him of the blame.

Schlatt made Tubbo tear down the L’manburg walls and the important signs so he could have to deal with the blame (though Quackity took the fall for this).

This is more theory based, but I fully believe Wilbur made Tubbo president right in front of Techno to egg him on to attack L’manburg. Since Tubbo would be the president, he would take the full brunt of Techno’s wrath (and he and Tommy did), and the destruction fell onto him.

So! With my text evidence we can see a recurring pattern in the way that Tubbo has been used by many people over the history of the server without much regard for his feelings. There are very few times when people besides Tommy ask how Tubbo feels about a situation, leaving him to his dark thoughts without anybody caring. Even during the Final Disc War, when Tubbo was literally moments from death, nobody asks how he is. Nobody (except Quackity once) checks up on him, and he builds up his community by himself. Until Ranboo came along, and I am not overexaggerating this, nobody was with Tubbo to support him. He had no support system and nobody cared. They just assume that he is always fine and if he wasn’t, it isn’t their place to intervene. Tubbo is just not respected, feared, or acknowledged unless he has someone by his side, or unless he’s doing something bad in which case he’s unhinged and evil and sure to have a villain arc.

This is just something to find interesting:

The only few characters Tubbo is actively involved with that hasn’t looked down on him as a sidekick or an object has been Foolish, Puffy, Ranboo and Technoblade. You could make an argument of how Technoblade referring to him as “government” could be dehumanizing but I don’t think I’ve actually seen him do that in character? I could be wrong though. Really, Technoblade takes him seriously, but way more seriously than c!Tubbo warrants. Like, he’s looking for a tyrant to beat up and Tubbo is literally just a guy with a lot of issues struggling to keep a handle on his cabinet, which I find funny. But, jokes aside, Technoblade saw Tubbo as a legitimate threat during his presidency and is respectfully cautious of him and his nukes presently, which is surprising to me. Ranboo adores Tubbo and all of his chaos that people are unaware of because they don’t get to know him well enough. Puffy just wants the best for all the kids of the server and knows how to be respectful of their feelings, and Foolish is respectful of Tubbo, if a bit annoyed and intimidated by him.

The point of this essay is just to show that there is a pattern to these things. This is how Tubbo is treated, this is why Tubbo is prepared to die for whatever because because he doesn’t feel he’s worth anything while alive, and this is why it’s frustrating to see characters call him a follower, pawn, or yes man. And here’s the thing: I DONT KNOW WHY THEY TREAT HIM LIKE THIS??? Why him? I can’t really find out why this started to happen.

To sum some things up, no I don’t think every character who treats him poorly is completely evil. Again, some of this seems to be subconscious, some of this could be argued to be OOC, I just wanted to bring this pattern to light.

[mokutone]

yo i would love to hear some of ur trans yam headcanons :) (also ps ur art is breathtaking and whenever i see it reblogged on my dash i always come here anyway to read ur tags bc they r so! good!)

thank u 🥺🥺🥺 god im sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a couple days ksdjghsdkjgh not only have i got a LOT of thoughts to put here (this is only a selection of the bigger thoughts skdjghsdkjhg) i was also super busy the past few days!!!! ty for ur patience, ur compliments, and for inviting me to ramble abt my favorite guy!

maybe the one constant in all trans people is just like. our decision to intentionally and purposefully create ourselves, to forced into an identity by outside forces and to turn away from it in search of something else, and that’s ultimately what makes captain yamato read as a trans character to me! He goes through so many identities, and they are meaningful to him, but you can also clearly tell that he’s searching for something that really fits him.

I don’t really have a lot of firm thoughts on what his specific identity would be, I’ve seen some great nonbinary yams, some lovely genderfluid yams, trans guy yams, there’s a great variety and i delight in them all! 

I tend to imagine him as transmasculine and nonbinary but male aligned (which means he’d feel at least a partial connection to or comfort with masculinity) and while there are a bunch of labels for this experience of gender (demiboy, bigender, etc etc) i don’t see him as somebody who would use any specific labels, I feel like he’d keep his own experience of his gender fairly private! He’d prefer and be fine with masculine-coded terms of address, and happy enough passing as a guy.

AHH and on names...

I think Kinoe is the only name that I really see as like. a genuine deadname. It’s a name that means “The First” to my understanding, and so like, probably refers to him having the genetics of the first. Therefore, it’s kind of. literally a name referring to him as his biology...boy thats as deadname as it gets, huh? kill that shit and also danzō

Tenzō is also a name thats given to him, but to my understanding (all I know about the anbu arc is picked up thru osmosis lol) it’s a name that’s given to him twice, with affection. Once from Yukimi, who sees him as her brother (not a vessel for the first hokage’s powers, probably for the first time ever—even if it’s still another person’s name) He takes the name, gladly! Unfortunately danzō. anyway,

Later, when he starts to introduce himself to the non-root Anbu as Kinoe, Kakashi cuts him off and names him to the anbu as Tenzō. To my understanding: it’s a name at rest, not a name for one singular mission, but a name for his entire time in Anbu. It’s the name he keeps the longest. Again, it’s a name that’s given to him to him by somebody else, but it’s one that is given with the intention to free him of Kinoe, and all that Kinoe had to be. 

(A note on him getting annoyed with Kakashi for calling him Tenzō in main-plot:

Most of this is of course based off of personal experience, but I find it hard to believe that he would actively dislike Tenzō as a name since it was given with such sweet intentions—most of my names have been gifts, and the only one I’ve actively taken out of rotation has been bc i cannot stand the person who used it, and the way it was used, and while Anbu was certainly bad for Yamato...I don’t think it was quite that bad. I think him telling Kakashi to stop calling him Tenzō has more to do with the use of it where it doesn’t belong—for example, while it’s not exactly a name, I am happy to be called “mokutone” here, and you may notice my friends calling me by another name, but if any of those friends called me mokutone in DMs, I would be bothered by that.)

Yamato starts off as an empty codename, given to him for the purposes of his team 7 mission by the Hokage, but I think it gets such a loving and warm association from just...using out in the sunlight, with these kids that he comes to think so fondly of (he’s such a dad. god. he’s such a fucking dad) and with the friends he makes going out drinking and actually having time to socialize—and that means a lot! I think Yamato is probably the name which becomes most meaningful and like a home to him by the end of the series. This is the active name, the name where he is most himself. It’s vital for him to have that space to grow into! 

But that said, I personally feel like, if he were to continue beyond the edges of the story, this would not be the final name he bears. He’s probably well aware that a single name cannot contain who he is, or who he wants to be, and while being Given a name can be a beautiful thing (like i said, most of my names are gifts! i treasure them.) I think that, for his character arc, I would like him to name himself at some point. Even if it’s a name that only exists for private spaces, I want him to complete that self determination, to at least try it out, even if ultimately Yamato is the name everyone else will know him by.

Physical Transition Stuff

i will confess i hurt to imagine these shinobi binding 😭😭 even if an individual is binding safely (well made binder, no more than 8 hours, AND No Physically Intense Activity) they stand to risk hurting themself! In real life we gotta balance out the physical pain and the pain of dysphoria, but this is naruto and I’m Gonna Play Some Headcanon Games!

If chakra is both a kind of spiritual energy as well as directly connected to the body (as we learned in the hyūga fight) then it stands to reason that by manipulating ones own chakra, they can manipulate the body, or at least the way the body changes (such as naruto’s healing factor) 

This probably is not the safest thing to do unless you’re a mednin or following the directions of one, LMAO

The second the hell of puberty started up for Tenzō he tried to hold it back by sheer force of willpower + chakra manipulation alone 

but, manually controlling one’s chakra is like trying to prevent a stream from flowing with your hands alone, which is to say: an exhausting uphill battle.

 He’d probably only be doing it on his down time and not on a mission, but even still the most I bet he could make it doing that without getting figured out is two months.

Luckily blockers are readily available, Tenzō just had no idea and, gender being a private experience for him, was trying to handle the whole thing entirely on his own. Soon after attempting to self-regulate hormones him-fucking-self like a very valid but desperate fool, he gets an appointment, gets a prescription, and can chill out and not have to be as hellishly aware of his body constantly.

 Konoha mednin will say trans rights even if the village itself is garbage, this series is so god damn weird already, nobody can tell me a ninja taking hormones is somehow weirder than a ninja taking his dead best friends genetic superpower eye.

TWO WEEKS, THREE SPARS, AND ONE VERY EMOTIONALLY DRAINING CONVERSATION LATER:

u might think kakashi is passing him a water bottle and they both look so exhausted bc its post spar but no. physically theyre fine, but the emotional toll of having to talk about something either of them care at all about? miracle they survived.

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (3/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

Yep yep yep, I'm liking this season a lot! 😍 Although I hope we'll get into a more frantic situation now, like with more battles and more bonding moments (Nya and Maya hopefully, but with Bentho too 🦈🦈����)! We got half a season to go, I'M READY!! 😎😎

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I do like the season a lot, maybe MoM was a little more cohesive? Idk but it's not a big complain, I still love it so far 😍

Also maybe I would've liked more interactions between Nya and Maya about how they've been apart for so long, they had a chit chat but I would've loved even more. Maybe with Nya saying that it was fine and she grew up only to realize she is still hurt by that, even though it wasn't Maya's fault. I still like how they did it, I wished there was more that's it 🤷‍♀️

While I do make sense to Maya's behavior, that while it seems a little different from Hands of Time it had its logic in my opinion, maybe Ray feels a little weird? He seems less courageous than before, and it was established that he is a hothead like his son so that came off as unusual 🤔🤔

But I do love the fact that he's here and he's bonding with his son, for real, I've been waiting for this for so long so I'm happy nonetheless 🤩

Maybe I'm just easy to please and I take all I can get idk 😅

THE STORM AMULET

Oh, are we gonna address the wind element? It feels like we haven't really seen a Morro reference since Hands of Time, that would be cool! 😍 I mean, why even mentioning the wind then 😅😅

Well what do you know, they tracked them, who saw that coming?... me, I saw that coming... we all did probably 🤷‍♀️

Jay took upon himself making a quick recap on how Ninjago will be destroyed this time, thanks Bluebell 👌

Yep nyeheh electricity makes Nya go crazy for sure ❤💙 ... wait it wasn't a Jaya pun?

Jay wear your seatbelt please, you risk you life enough 😅😅 Pff lol "are we there yet" and they are actually there, biggest plot twist I've ever heard of 😂

LEGO HUG 💜💜💜

And with someone who might as well join the League of Jay apparently 💙

I liked The Island yet it was not as exciting as I hoped for, but now understand the meaning of it. The ninja helped the keepers and they are all allies. Without The Island the moment where Mammatus gives Nya the amulet wouldn't be as meaningful

Is it just me or Nya looked even more gorgeous during that moment?... just me huh? Okay then 😂💕

Wait that's a fake? Wait... UNCLE POWERS?!? OMG THAT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE COMING 🤯

Here I thought he was just messing around, he always makes things harder 😅 Or maybe better? I mean, they kinda missed a bullet on this one...

BENTHO IS SO SWEET AND COOL OMG HE IS ALREADY OUR FRIEND 💙🦈💙🦈

Jay somehow had his own TV show in the past and yet he's got that horrible acting skills wth 😂😂😂

Kalmaar is a very cool villain, like, deeply evil. Not only he's calculated and merciless, he stops at nothing to get what he wants. And the people that get in the way? He wants them to suffer because they had dared to confront him 😳

And yes the voice does help a lot, I'm sorry I'll keep saying it until the season is over 😂 (or even beyond? Please cast Giles again LEGO 🥺🥺🥺)

Awww Nya no my poor girl 😢 Jay wanted to hug her to comfort her he is so sweet my SHIP ❤💙❤💙

MOM PEP TALK MOM PEP TALK!!! 🤩🤩🤩 How cool was it?

Like, this isn't even Maya asking Nya to believe in herself, this is her saying that she KNOWS her daughter can do anything when she puts her mind into it. FINALLY SHE SEES HOW AMAZING WATER GODDESS IS 💜💜💜

MORE LEGO TEARS OMG THIS SEASON IS FILLED WITH TEARS 😱 Which... kinda makes sense considering it's a water based season 😂

Nice one, and now? NOW WE GO BACK TO KAI COLE AND RAY YAS!!! ❤🖤❤🖤

RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX

That is... surprisingly Egypt theme like? It feels like a title coming from the Fire Chapter of season 11... well we got two fire elementals so 😍😍

SPARRING KAI AND RAY

I REPEAT SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! ❤❤❤ Lol Ray got old, but how can someone blame him? He did touch death while aging in Hands of Time, I'm just happy he is alive 😂

Yep, master prankster Wu, that's what I love 👌👌 I always thought Wu had become a father figure for Kai at the beginning, so seeing Ray and Wu in the same picture feels very wholesome to me 😚

Ah, uncle Powers, I both love you and hate you so freaking much 😌😌 But you make cool slides nonetheless 😂

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH BEAUTIFUL SMITH INTERACTIONS??

BECAUSE I LIKE IT KEEP GOING 🤩

Oh no you guys are stranded on an island whatever are you going to do?? It's not like you had already before and managed to survive (Skybound) or you got stranded on a rock in a sea of sand filled with giant monsters (Fire Chapter) or you were on a freaking COMET in SPACE (Rebooted). Yeee, this is the worst yet 🙂

I'm starting to think these ninja are just a bunch of drama queens so no matter what happens, it's always hopeless 😂😂 I feel like I'm kinda right on this one honestly 😛

Whoa whoa WHOA WHO IS NYAD THIS SOUNDS VERY COOL???

Aww I like that, while Ray told his kids stories about dragons and how they traveled through the Underworld, Maya told them about Nya the first water master that could summon whales 💙❤💙❤

Pff imagine if it turned out Nya was the master of fire, carrying a very water based name? Lol

Maya: I would know if it was possible!

Nya: Yeah, like she knows that I can control a bit of ice because it's frozen water

Maya:...

Maya: YOU WHAT

I find both interesting and very annoying that this explorers club thinks so highly of themselves, to the point the deny to aid even the FREAKING SAVIORS OF THEIR FREAKING LAND 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Misako got good reflexes after all, Kai was probably ready to melt this guy's face 😅

Oh, so a trial by Sphinx is a challenge? A mental one? A cultural one? A physical one? Idk but Misako is actually taking charge and that is cool I guess 🤷‍♀️

Okay this is kind of weird, how is Ray so afraid? Is it because there's fire?... did he... did he grow afraid of fire for some reason? Because it feels a bit off for now, but if there is a deeper meaning that could be interesting 🤔

Wait is that the riddle from Decoded? That's fire right?

IT IS FIRE 🔥🔥🔥

Lol at least in this one Kai wasn't completely ignored 😂 I know my flame babe isn't the most rational person, but I do like that it was an answer connected to his element where he used his head!

Ah Clutch, you really got no backbone 😅 And apparently you're the only explorer who doesn't, dang look at the others go! I'm having a bit more respect for them now 😚

LOOK AT SENSEI GO FINALLY!!! 😍😍 FIGHTING SCENES HECK YES!!!

Kalmaar: I'm your conquerer

Wu: so after skeletons, the serpentine, nindroids, the Stone Army, Chen's army, ghosts, oni, more snakes but on fire and people from a game, that makes you the tenth. Have a free cookie

Kalmaar:...

Wu: you're not special

Is this a little throwback to Possession too? Nya seems to always control better water when she doesn't actually think about it. When her feelings are free, so are her powers 🌊🌊🌊

Also this opens up more possibilities! Creatures connected with other elements might get summoned too! I would love something like that 😍😍

This was NEAT, or maybe I just missed Kai that much ❤ What's next??

PAPERGIRL

ANTONIAAAAAAAA!!!! MY GIRL IS BACK!!! All my girls are back in this season, I'm so happy 😍😍😍 And if she is here, sweet little Nelson has to be around and I cannot wait! Bring in the purple ninja! 💜

Owww Antonia's last day as a papergirl? Nooo why??

She's got a job at the... DAIRY DRAGON??? OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ICE CREAM PLACE BRAGI TOLD US ABOUT ON TWITTER!!! 🤩🤩🤩 I remember the post, he was asking about names for the place and ice cream flavors. Now I can't wait to see what did he choose 🍦🍦🍦

UNAGAMI BABY HI HONEY!!! 🙋‍♀️ I hope he's doing great 😘😘

This is so cool honestly, Antonia got her own character arc going on! Living in a chaotic city like Ninjago City must be pretty dang exhausting 😅

Was... was that Dareth in the garbage can? Am I wrong? Poor brown ninja 😅🤎😅

SPINJITZU SWIRL, BANANAKHAN, ORANGE SERPENTINE, I'M DYING 😂😂😂

Their friendship is so wholesome, I'm so happy they are still together no matter what happens 💕

I thought Kalmaar wasn't much of a fighter but DANG he's got skills! Also the fact that he uses tentacles makes the fight very cool to watch! 😚😚

RAY RUNNING IN AFTER KAI GOT HURT HECK YES ❤❤❤

Well at least you tried Ray 😅

Ah, little cameo of the original Weekend Whip, always nice to hear it again... AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!!! 🌪🌪🌪

EVEN NELSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M SO PROUD 💜

I don't even know what is cooler, the kids being mad lads on their bikes, Kalmaar driving a TRUCK or Kai going full parkour on the buildings to follow them 🤯

I'm sorry... am I the only one that during the Kai and Kalmaar talk kinda thought of Jestro and Clay? I miss my boys from NK, they're even more at odds now 😭😭

KAI YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OR EVEN TRY TO DIE GET BACK HERE AT ONCE 😱😱

Kalmaar just loves to make everyone feel inferior, gotta be his hobby 😶

Oh good Kai is back

OH NOT GOOD KAI IS NOT BREATHING?!? FLAME BABE I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE 😱😱😱

Antonia, Nelson, you guys are now my heroes. You saved my fave, I'll be forever in dept with you ❤❤❤ Am I being overdramatic? Most likely, but Kai is one of the few that didn't almost die or did die in a dramatic situation and he is also my absolute favorite character so that... kinda keeps my sanity in check in this show 🥴

I wonder... does he still not know how to swim? He saved Lloyd in Possession but I wonder if he was only trying to float on the surface... THAT'S TERRIFYING

This episode was so adorable, I love Antonia and Nelson so much 💜💕💜💕 It's nice to see what the other people of Ninjago do while everything goes mad 🤣

Wait hang on my Ninjajan is a little rusty

"Ninjago City. City that never sleeps" well if that ain't the truth 😂

MASTER OF THE SEA

Like Master of the Mountain? Wait are we going back to Shintaro?? VANYA?? ANOTHER BEST GIRL RETURNS??? 💛

Hey hey hey, we got a full Nyad backstory! I really like when they do these little drawn shots, they feel more like legends! And... the ending sounds terrifying? Like, they wouldn't let Nya sacrifice herself and die... again... right? 😱

Bentho: and the world was in balance, until now because of my brother

Lloyd: and the Overlord before of course

Bentho: the what now?

Lloyd: the evil one my grandpa the first Spinjitzu Master fought?

Bentho: YOUR WHAT NOW

Why do I like this offscreen "hiiiyaaa" that sensei Wu does before actually going into the scene? 😂😂

No matter if they come from the underground or the sea, these are all snake-like creature with the same intellect 😅 Kalmaar and Garmadon would have a lot to talk about, sea king dealing with his minions does remind me of Lord Garmadon in season 2 a lot 😂😂

KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤

OMG Kalmaar is such a brat and petty villain I love him so much 😂😂😂 Yes I didn't even mention his amazing voice!... AH DANG IT 😳😳

*Misako kicks Kalmaar and is actually useful* 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

*Misako gets taken as hostage immediately after* 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

KAI LITERALLY JUST GOT SAVED FROM DROWNING WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM!!!... and Ray and Cole and Wu of course, I care okay 😅

OMG that face 🤣🤣🤣

That some meme material right there

Whoa Vincent that voice just got super up when the Unsinkable showed up, it kinda sounded like Jay's lol

NO NOT BENTHO!!! 😢😢😢

Kai: Nya talks to whales now? (I snorted so hard at this 😂😂)

HECK YES NYA GOT THE AMULET!! 😍😍😍 ... we got, like, four more episodes to go so something needs to happen in between... do I need to be scared? I feel like I need to be scared 😅

Jay starting a fire then blaming Kai?... this is so in character I got chills 😂😂

SHARK BOY IS STAYING TO THE MONASTERY THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I want all the shenanigans and we need to write fanfictions about more shenanigans and AAAAHHHHH 🦈🦈🦈

Bless these two fire idiots

They own my heart ❤🔥❤🔥 Also Vincent, this is supposed to be a fun little gag moment, your amazing voice acting is kinda distracting me 😭😭😭

ANOTHER LEGO HUG

YOU GUYS ARE SPOILING ME OVER HERE HECK YES 💙🌊💙🌊

Maya learned that her daughter is capable of everything, I love that. Nya simply understood that she doesn't have to give up when something gets difficult. She is AMAZING and can do anything she puts her mind into. She simply has to hold on until the end 💪💪💪

Omg Benthomaar playing billiard with the guys I already love this 😍😍

YES IT IS SHINTARO!!! THE UPPLY ARE HERE OMG!!! HI VANYA YOU LOOK AMAZING GIRL MISS YOU I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY!!! 💛💛💛 ... I just really like Master of the Mountain okay 😅

I love how Vanya doesn't even question it. It comes from Cole and he said it needs to be protected? Done and done 👌

Wait what, did something fall?

IS THAT THE FAKE?!?!? WHAT HOW WHEN??? UNCLE POWERS??? OR KALMAAR DID SOMETHING??? SOMEONE??? I'M LEGIT CONFUSED AND EXCITED??? 🤯🤯🤯

Well dang, I didn't see that coming, now what Seabound? What do you have for me?

[damienthepious]

[a small gentle shout] happee lizz kis tues

could stay right here

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Rilla, Sir Damien (but only asleep)

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Early Relationship, Sleep, Literal Sleeping Together, Sleepy Cuddles, (yes two in a row. SUE ME.), Kissing, Singing, Banter

Summary: He isn't used to sharing a bed, just yet.

Notes: this was. supposed to be like... six hundred words, maybe? (sigh). enjoyy????? I hope? I don't know why i'm suddenly obsessed with Early Relationship One-Shots, but!!! apparently I am??? Heck. Title from the song Cement and Sunshine by Morningsiders!

~

Arum jerks awake as the bed shifts, a flash of panic gripping his lungs and squeezing-

Attack, he thinks, and then, won't let anyone hurt them. How- who-

Amaryllis.

She makes some small noise, presses her hands against his collarbone on either side, firm and sturdy, and he manages to suck in a breath that does not feel so strangled.

"Sorry," she says, her voice a breathy whisper by his ear as her hands keep him anchored, her thumbs rubbing soothing arcs against his scales. "Sorry, sorry- didn't mean to-"

Arum remembers. Remembers Damien curled against his left arms. He remains an unbothered, unconscious weight as Arum becomes aware of him again, and he remembers Amaryllis waving them off to bed before returning to her pile of five or six books and her recorder, an unmoveable fountain of determination, remembers awkwardly managing to ask- to ask that she join them, when she at last reached a stopping point, remembers her small, fond, knowing smile-

"It- it's- it's alright," he manages in a hiss, lifting one of his hands to curl around her wrist. "I'm alright. I-"

She leans back in the dark, beginning to draw away, and the panic moves, squeezing his heart instead. He grips her wrist more tightly, still careful of his claws despite his muddled awareness.

"Wait," he whispers, and the only reason he does not lean up to follow her is because he refuses to risk waking Damien beside him. "Don't- don't leave, I-"

She stills, and though he knows it is too dark for her vision she looks towards his voice, blinking against the black. She rests her weight on him again, her palms warm on his chest.

"I'm not leaving," she says, very gently. "It's alright, I promise. Let me just grab the blanket, that's all."

Arum has the sense that he should bristle at that, at her gentleness, her comforting tone, but his heart hasn't slowed yet, and his relief is too large to deny. He makes a noise, hopefully enough of an affirmative for her to interpret, and then he releases her wrist so she can lean back and gather the sheets from where he and Damien must have kicked them in their sleep.

She tugs them up over her shoulder and settles against his side with a small sigh, arranging the cloth to cover him as well, and then she leaves one hand over his heart, brushing slowly up and down.

He tries to slow himself down, to settle, to match his breaths to the motion of her hand, and after a few heartbeats it starts to come more easily.

"I'm sorry," Amaryllis says again, her voice a careful whisper. "I didn't mean to surprise you."

His chest rumbles quietly, a helpless almost-growl, and then he cautiously curls his arm around her, pulling her just the littlest bit closer. "I didn't mean to surprise you," he echoes, low and uncertain. "Jolting awake like that."

"You aren't used to this," she says. "It's okay."

"Used to-" he cuts off, frowning, trying to focus on not letting his rattling growl grow loud enough to wake Damien as well.

"This," she says, her palm pressing down on his scales. "This," she repeats, and then she presses her lips so, so gently to the scales at the crook of his neck.

Arum freezes for half a second, and then his body relaxes all at once, as if she has cast a spell over him with her kiss alone.

She isn't wrong, of course. It had been difficult enough for him to slip into slumber in the first place. Damien had positioned himself draped along Arum's side with a sigh and a kiss and Arum had laid utterly, exquisitely still until the poet drifted to unconsciousness, and then for what felt like rather a long time afterward. When sleep did find him, it must have been a rather fragile thing, considering how easily and violently it broke at Amaryllis' entrance.

"I... I suppose..."

"I mean, I get it. It took me a long time to get used to sharing a bed with Damien, actually," she says, her tone mild, and Arum blinks, glancing down at her musing expression.

"Why?" He frowns, unable to imagine a time- unable to imagine the pair of them at all separate, at all misaligned. They fit together so easily, without any apparent effort, enough so that at times he can hardly believe there was a time he did not know how intertwined they are.

"Because I was too used to sleeping on my own?" Her mouth curls, almost wry, as she traces nonsense shapes on his scales with the tip of her pointer finger. "I spent a long time alone in my hut, and even when I found people to fool around with I didn't usually spend the night. And I'm a really light sleeper in the first place, so it was a big change for me." She shifts slightly, readjusting the arc of his arms curled around her. "He rolled over onto me once, like, the third night we spent together, and I woke both of us up socking him in the nose."

Arum snorts, then holds his breath to keep from cackling a proper laugh. He gulps in a breath after a moment, feeling Amaryllis smiling against his shoulder, and he controls his voice carefully low as he responds. "A rather rude awakening for the poor knight, Amaryllis."

"I know," she rolls her eyes. "I felt awful about it, but- you know Damien. He apologized almost as many times as I did. Dummy."

Arum's heart does something unhelpful and twisting beneath the warmth of Amaryllis' palm, and he buries some rather embarrassing thoughts about the spun-sugar sweetness of their poet before he shakes his head.

"Completely absurd," he mumbles, and then, because he knows Amaryllis cannot see him do so, he tilts his head enough to press his snout gently to Damien's curls. Not quite a kiss by their human measures, but... he feels warmer, regardless, when Damien shifts almost imperceptibly closer at the contact.

"What I mean is..." she tilts her head, kissing his jaw this time. "It's alright. It's alright if it takes a while for you to adjust to things, or- or if you decide eventually that you'd rather not share a bed at all, for actually sleeping. That's fine too, that's an answer that's on the table."

"Don't be foolish," Arum grumbles, resisting the urge to tighten his grip. She's as close as she could possibly be, he reasons. The instinct to pull her closer regardless is nonsense. "I want- I would much rather-"

"I just want you to know that you don't have to do anything just because you feel like you should, that's all."

Arum presses his lips together, torn between gratefulness and indignation, and then he sighs. "I appreciate the... the effort towards clarity. It is not that I don't want the both of you here, beside me, though. I only... I cannot seem to... I am rather vividly aware of you. It is difficult to find rest, while my mind... lingers upon you."

"Ah," she breathes something like a laugh. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"I want you here," he says, trying to round off any ambiguity on that subject, and her breath flutters with another subtle laugh. "Clearly I managed sleep eventually. I'll do so again, I'm certain."

"Well," she says, her voice tilting breathier, richer, more warm with sleep, "if you're certain. Saints know I'm too tired to get antsy about it anyway."

With each moment, her weight settles more heavily against him, a more-than-welcome echo of the pressure of Damien's body on his other side, and he feels heavier as well as her breathing begins to slow. She'll drag him down into slumber with her, he thinks muzzily, and he can't suppress a subtle purr as her fingers continue to trace light, tingling lines on the scales above his heart.

"Just want you to be comfortable," she murmurs, and then she closes her eyes, pressing her cheek against his shoulder. "You don't get enough sleep. And yeah, yeah, I'm a hypocrite, before you even say anything."

He cuts off his retort before it begins, chuckling low, and he must truly be half asleep again already, because his next words come before he can think better of them, and he is halfway through his next murmuring sentence before he realizes that he is speaking.

"I can't understand how much you both... how..."

Amaryllis waits, drawing her fingers over his scales slowly, slowly, her eyes closed, but eventually when he fails to continue she makes a humming, questioning noise against his shoulder.

Arum swallows, shoring up his nerve since he has already begun to speak- he may as well say this now, while Damien sleeps soundly in his arms and Amaryllis cannot see whatever look is on his face.

"I cannot understand... how much trust you place in me. To... to sleep like this. It feels so... you are so vulnerable, Damien out of his armor, and you- it is so hard to- to understand- to reconcile that- that vulnerability and- to settle my own mind, while you both lie helpless and sleeping beside me. I want to pr- I can't- I cannot shake my awareness of your breathing, your heartbeats, and-"

Her hand stills above his heart; he wonders dizzily if she can feel the way it beats, faster with each passing word. He feels ridiculous- of course he does, he can hardly unravel his own thoughts while they still tangle, only half drawn into his waking mind, and he cannot even say if any of this coalesces into something that makes sense.

She turns in the darkness, unseeing, aiming her face towards his own, and then she trails her hand up from his chest, up his throat until she finds his jaw, the curve of his cheek, and then she turns his face towards her own. Ridiculous, he thinks fondly, since she still, obviously, cannot see him, but then she- she angles his head, presses a kiss against his mouth, and then she tilts both of their heads until their foreheads press together.

"You... you're saying you can't fall asleep because you're worried- you're worried about us? About- making sure we're safe."

"I don't-" Arum swallows roughly, nervously, his breath clicking at the base of his throat. "I don't know. I don't know what- what worries me, truly. I know- here in the Keep I know- obviously we are safe, but-"

Amaryllis kisses him again, gentle and warm in the dark, a tender press of lips against scales until his heart slows. She tips their foreheads together again, bites her lip, exhales a long sigh, and then she smiles so, so terribly softly with her palm caressing his cheek.

"And here I was worrying that you couldn't sleep because you weren't used to being so vulnerable," she whispers, and Arum resists the urge to flare his frill in embarrassment. "You- Saints. I- fuck, I could say so many different things right now, but I feel like every single one would embarrass you. I-"

Arum clamps his mouth shut, shrugs very gently with the shoulder beneath Amaryllis, and then he risks nuzzling forward again, gratified when she graces him with another kiss. "Save it for the morning, then," he murmurs. "You can embarrass me plenty when Damien is awake to make that precious wide-eyed expression about it."

Amaryllis shakes with silent laughter against him for a moment, kisses him one more time, and then resettles at his side with a warm, contented sigh.

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep again?" she whispers, her breath tickling at the crook of his neck. "I'd hate to think that I..."

"I'm certain that I'll manage, Amaryllis."

"I can... I could sing for you. If you want me to."

Arum glances towards her, a little surprised by the hesitant note in her voice, the hint of something like shyness. "You..." he pauses, swallows, thinks better of simply announcing how utterly enthralling he is by her voice in song. "That would not wake our little knight, you don't think?" he hedges instead.

"I can sing quietly," she complains, her lips drawing together into something like a pout, her nose wrinkling almost too adorably to stand. "And besides, our little knight sleeps like a fucking rock, anyway." She curls closer towards him, nuzzling her nose into his neck, beside his frill with a sleepy growl. "Do you want a lullaby or not?

"Well..." Arum trails off, taking a moment to force the breathlessness out of his own voice. "Well. If my choices while in bed with you are a song or a punch in the nose, I certainly won't complain about the former-"

She gasps, scowls in mock offense and swats at his side as he bites back the urge to chuckle, and then she settles her hand over his heart again, pressing down.

"Oh you just wait, you complete brat-"

"Are you going to sing or not, little doctor?"

"Hush," she growls, pressing her face into his neck. "Hush up and I will. Absolute brat."

Arum breathes another laugh, helpless against it, and then he settles, and after a moment her fingers start drumming a little pattern against his scales. With the rhythm of his heart, he realizes, and then a moment later she begins to sing, soft and husky and mostly breath, close against his neck.

He doesn't expect it to work, truly. She is so present, they both are, his awareness of their heat and their proximity such a vivid tether in his mind, impossible to ignore. Her song, her voice- everything about her is ethereal, stunning, gorgeous, of course, but he does not expect that even that could draw him down, pinned between their fragile resting bodies.

In the morning, though, he will not even remember the second verse.

[whump-tr0pes]

I need to gush about Honor Bound for a bit, I apologize for how long this might get, but I figured it can’t be too wrong to show gratitude for something you hold dear! I found Honor Bound through the “Bleeding through the Bandages” chapter in book 4. I got into whump around that time, mainly as a coping mechanism for my own pain, and I saw that chapter pop up on my dashboard and I didn’t really consider it was part of a bigger story and I needed a distraction so I was like, might as well. And then it ended up being the best depiction of what I was feeling that I’ve ever read; not just the pain, but the frustration, and the exhaustion, and the mind-numbing boredom shown in other chapters too. I read the previous chapters of book 4 and then decided I wanted Context and also More Sam and then I read the first three books in two days. And then I reread them all in one day because I needed to reprocess the journey that was. And then I reread all of them again with book 4 when it finished, and then religiously followed book 5 through the worst time I’ve ever had, and reread the previous books multiple times as 5 was updating as well. Needless to say it quickly became my comfort series, and on multiple occasions waiting for a new chapters was one of those little joys that kept me going. I am so, so thankful I found it when I did. The Honor Bound family is like no other found family, at least to me. All of them are such complex individuals, but their interpersonal relationships are just so deep and meaningful and each is so incredibly unique, I could honestly write essays upon essays analyzing each one. And the way you connect everything and weave tropes into the overarching plot is just Insane, it’s truly like you’re… retelling a story that actually happened, you know? Like these are real people and real stories. Because I can’t com prehend how you come up with some of this stuff. And there are so, so many “cinematic” moments that are just. So raw and hard-hitting and just stay with you. Big and small moments alike. The Ryan reveal, Joseph Stormbeck’s death (best death scene ever by the way?? I’ve told everyone I know about it when I read it I was absolutely in Awe. Never recovering from that), every moment between Sam and Isaac (I also have a sibling who I’m not technically related to by blood but would like, probably die for, so I just really appreciated everything about them and we need more stories like theirs) (and also every time Sam called Isaac out. Good for them), Sam talking Gavin through his caning holy shit that was a religious moment, Gray’s slowburn adoption of Gavin and when Gavin decided he wanted to be a Uriah (and how his initial thought to getting asked what he wants to be called was “Moore”. And then he was like “Well fuck.” Love that dumbass), just every single thing Finn ever did for the family, Finn and Ellis and Gavin’s monologue about giving Finn a concussion (!! chills!!) and their reunion after Coleen, Vera and Tori and the Work Song scene??, Vera and Tori lowkey adopting Edrissa and Edrissa’s character development and her rants about pretty things and her and Sam and Zachariah’s adorable Young Love that made me so giddy right along with them and Sam and Zachariah’s meet-ugly (I mean it was kinda sweet), Gray being the parental figure we all needed, and Nata and Zelda and Nata helping Sam (and now Gavin!!) and Vera being so proud of her puppy. Also, Isaac and Gavin’s relationship…Insane. The most dramatic enemies to lovers and I love them for it. Invented love. It’s so crazy to read the beginning and see how far everyone’s come and think about everything that has happened from that one Whumptober prompt. It’s a lot but it also makes so, so much sense. I can’t imagine a version where Isaac and Gavin aren’t together in some way (and since I started out of order, when I realized it was a enemies to lovers I was really excited to see how all of that happened. Especially after reading the first book, because it (1/2)

(2/2) was like, how the hell are they gonna get from point A to point B. No way those are the same characters, how is this ever going to get justified? And then Gavin ended up having the best character development Ever, and I love that, I love that he had to work for it and that we as the readers have to work to love him too, because it pays off). And now the ending of book 5! Oh God. On that note, you’re so good at writing villains; making them human and also absolutely detestable and killing them off in the most satisfactory way tailored to them. There was never a point after a major arc where I thought “oh, I wish this had happened instead of x, I wish this had gone this way instead”. Also, to go back on the topic of pain (physical and mental both)! The way everyone copes with it differently, it’s the same thing but it’s unique to the person dealing with it and that’s so clear in your characters, and I also love, love how you made a point of showing how pain changes people because that’s something that I find so often gets ignored, whether voluntarily or not, even in whump. But, yeah, pain definitely changes people. And that’s not always bad, and it’s not always drastic, but it happens and it’s not a shameful thing. Everyone breaks. And HB made me believe that I was allowed to break, and that it’s still possible to live a life you think is worth it. And I won’t even get into how much it’d taught me about friendship and family and how it made me reflect on my own relationships with my loved ones (especially Isaac’s perspective, oh God). It’s just such a rewarding journey. That’s the best word to describe it, I think. And this latest chapter: “The sun shone brightly on the hood of the car, so bright Isaac almost had to close his eyes. The wind moved through the trees that swayed on either side of the lane. Isaac rolled his window down, and he could hear the birds calling to each other, and the sound of the wind rustling the long grasses that smelled so green. With each heartbeat, Gavin relaxed in his arms, his head falling against Isaac’s shoulder, his breaths becoming deep and slow again. A tear rolled down Isaac’s cheek, and he hid his smile against Gavin’s hair.” That image. It’s so vivid and visceral. It gives me the exact same feeling as spring after a long winter (which is…super fitting, actually). It’s that moment of pure contentedness when you realize it’d all been worth it. I don’t know, it just really, really struck me, and I’m so glad the book ended on that note. Despite knowing more hurt awaits, even that feels okay, because happiness will always find a way to seep through. And God, do they deserve that! It’s gonna be heartbreaking when their story ends, but I also know it’s gonna feel right. Like a peaceful retirement. Just, thank you for sharing this world with us, Athena. I hope you’re aware how meaningful this story is to so many of us. And being able to follow it in real-time and hear your inputs and chat about the characters and scream in the comments and reblogs is such a privilege (and being able to read it for free at all? Five books (six counting Vera)! For free! Though I will be getting books 1 and 2 soon hopefully actually). I cannot wait for book 6 and I Will be crying about book 5 until then (and long afterwards, most likely). And I wish you all the best in everything you take on next.<3

Wow, I... wow. I had to set down my phone and just sit in silence after I read this. I’m just... so humbled and amazed that you were able to connect so much with the story and the characters. I’m so glad that you saw something of yourself, and that you were able to find comfort in it. I find comfort in them, too, just knowing that the characters are there when I need to write them. 

It’s important to me for things to turn out ‘right.’ That’s part of why I write whump: the bad guys can be defeated, the good guys emerge safe, and love prevails. Writing Isaac and Gavin’s love story was absolutely the biggest surprise for me, it really did feel like I was the last to know. But I treasure them both so much and I love writing them. The family is so fun to explore, with each relationship being so different from the other. I’ve poured so much of myself into this story and into every single one of the characters. 

Book 6 is going to be such a challenge. It’s the last book in the series, and the one that’ll (hopefully) tie everything together. I’m giving myself a little break, but I’m also a little scared to start it because once I start it, then each chapter will be closer to the end, and then it’ll be over. I have a few more things in store for the family but at the end, I hope they’re safe, happy, and together. These characters mean more to me than I can say and I’m so happy I’ll have you with me along the way.

[a-gal-with-taste]

Alt. Timer (Part 1)

Summary: (Standalone) Alternative Ending to Timer Pt 1., in which there is no near-miss, and shared timers are allowed to reach zero.

Wordcount: 2.4K

Pairing: Silco x GN!Reader (Soulmate!AU)

WARNINGS: SFW Angsty, language, hurt/comfort, violence and descriptions of blood, injuries and eye-trauma.

"Watch it! This way's closed, piss off-!" You're turning and running back the way you came before he can even finish his bark of an order. Annoyed at the gall of the man, you snarl right back at him over your shoulder, something that sounds vaguely like a curse. You catch a glimpse of your wrist as you dip back onto the main street, a quick glance to either side as you mentally map out the next nearest shortcut, before resigning yourself to take the longer-way around to the docks, but you feel only exhilaration at the trek ahead of you.

Because it's two minutes.

Two minutes.

Thunder cracking overhead along with the sounds of shouting as you approach the bay. You worry you're going to utterly bowl over your missing-half, and subconsciously slow from a flight to a sprint, then down to a more casual fast-jog, but you just aren't thinking as you jump over a crate, weave around another corner, you can't even look at your wrist now, even though you must be so close-

000000.000003

000000.000002

000000.000001-

Then, you slam into a figure running at a speed that makes your prior streak through the streets of the underground look like a pleasant stroll.

Soaking wet, reeking of blood and the docks. The toxic scent of the water immediately clogs your nose. You would gag at the chokehold it has on your senses, if the force of impact didn't send the two of you falling back, at the same instant that sound cuts out entirely for you both. All other senses are cut out as you tumble back with them, back into the alleyway you had been racing through, as... something clicks into place, and it takes you an eternity, and an single instant, to realize what it is.

                                                                                                  000000.000000

If your cranium hits something, you never feel it. If a knee crashes against the ground, you don't process the hardness beneath, or the jarring pain racing through your spine as you fall to the ground, either. As the two of you finally come to a sprawled, tangled mess, the only sensation breaking though the thick silence that had suddenly cloaked in the minds between the two of you, is a faint sound of rhythmic ticking.

Not a heartbeat, not breathing, but the one sound you somehow knew had been there your entire lives, and you're only allowed to be hearing now...

000000.000001

000000.000002

000000.000003

Then a bloodied knife hits the ground with a loud clatter, from where it went flying on impact, and that perfect moment of that peaceful near-silence is broken by a loud, wretched screech as the man collapsed around you begins to yanks and tear in the effort to remove you off of him, or him off of you. "Hey, hey, wait-!" A loud yell of pain escapes through your lips as clawed hands drag over your skin, dig as they go to try and pull you away. Gritting your teeth, you throw yourself up with your own grabbing hands.

The man clearly is a fighter. You feel wiry, but iron-tense muscles under skin, and even in this feral state of him trying to get as far away as possible, each blow he manages to yield is direct, and meant to devastate.

At least, it would, if he didn't currently have the strength of a half-drowned rat.

Which, fortunately he does, so you're able to grab at those cloying forearms and brace him back, dragging him back into to the wall before, instinctively, you release one arm to brace around him to soften any further impact as you press his trembling body against the wall with your own.

His body still collides with a faint bang against the building, and it's overshadowed by the high-pitched, ragged shadow of a scream, barely louder than a whimper but somehow thrice as fierce, that sounds from him as fight evaporates off him instantly. And you're left swearing and trying to keep him upright, and yourself, as his legs give out.

Clinging both arms around him, you're left squatting with his head lolling forward against your shoulder, every torturous, rasping breath scrapping past your ear as his chest heaves against yours.

"I... it's okay," You attempt to find your voice, and let it be heard over his wretched breaths, and you think you fail. Then, after a beat, you feel him freeze, even his rapid rising and falling of his chest stilling in his hysterical panting, while you lick your lips, trying to be louder. "You're okay, i-its just... me, I-"

"...'o..."

You blink at the sound, that's akin like it's being dragged through broken glass, then tossed into lake full of even more shards, but its still a voice and it's attempting to form a word. "What?"

"... go..."

...go?

Go?

As...as in a dismissal?

Something snaps tight in your chest, and you fight back your own rasping as you gawk in astonishment, hurt and a bit appalled, as you go to pull away from him, feeling as though struck-

But then those lifeless arms are reborn the moment you go and begin to loosen your grip, and you're not afraid to admit that you let out a startled squeak as his arms lock around you like a vice, a strangled hiss as he presses his mouth directly against your ear to get every attempted-syllable out in one last, final bid:

"We need to go."

And with that there's a howl, human but mad, in the air. It's pained, angered, deadly and close. Those arms around you lock on tighter, in no shortage of terror and bracing for an inevitable you aren't aware of. No, you don't fully understand the situation, but still automatically find yourself accepting the role of being the strength that quickly brings the two of you rising back up again, nonetheless. Suddenly finding yourself agreeing that, yes. The two of you absolutely needed to leave right now.

The strength he had in his arms to lock you in place, is gone almost immediately after he finds his footing and slips a near-lifeless arm through the crook of your elbow as you take lead, but that missing energy must transfer directly to his legs, as both of you somehow manage to match in speed as you twist around back through the alley, and race through the Undercity.

At one point, you let out a wordless sound of protest and concern as he suddenly yanks himself away when together, you pass outside a shop. But he's returning to your side almost immediately, pressing close enough for you to feel every shuddering passage of air that makes it through tight, pounding lungs as the two of you run and run-

You honestly don't know how you both have the strength to keep going. Perhaps it's a side-effect of having found one another, but you never know, and you don't have the time to relish in the euphoria, the confusion or any emotion you'd thought you'd have at the moment of this fated union. Every time you blink, it seems you're racing through a new part of the city; everything constantly changing, except his presence beside remains, solid and unwavering, in your fleeing.

A blink, and you make another turn into yet another endless alley.

A blink, as you ignore insults and curses as you twist though a community of vagrants.

Another blink, and now... it's a building.

Dilapidated, with rot and dust clinging in the air, but for the first time since you stepped out on the streets (and eternity ago, surely? It feels like it, waking up this morning feels like a entire millennia ago...) you're not actively being soaked, you're not running, and you are utterly immobile against someone's arms.

Well, it's mostly immobility out of your own volition, as your body comes back to full awareness with aches, sores and bruises that'll surely last days. Price for the collision, and judging by the pulsating cramps you already feel racing up and down your legs, you also did your body no favors with the two rounds of extended sprinting you did today.

Pulling thoughts out of your own body, you start to familiarize yourself with the one around you. It hasn't changed, the barely-there arm that flopped onto your waist and hasn't moved. You still hear the rasping, stifling attempt to return to normal breathing, where apparently all the strength left in his body is going to, as you feel the chest you rest against still jerking with every deep, long inhale he manages to pull in.

You could probably send the grip around you halfway across the floor with a push of a hand, a finger, but instead you bite down your own groan of agony back as you work out muscles to move again, one hand creeping up to, gently as you could, tap your finger twice in his chest for his attention.

There's still flinch, like he'd just been stabbed, two times.

"Sorry." You swallow thickly, your throat making up in the dryness the rest of your soaked body doesn't possess. You still feel the rain clinging to you, oddly warm from where it had oozed down, some of it speckled on your cheek as you inhaled a hiss, carefully raising yourself up. "Sorry, I just-"

Suddenly, as you raised your head to look up at your other half for the first time, you found out why the rain had felt so warm.

You also found out that it was not in fact rain, and the cloth he had managed to snag from the shop during your dash of an escape, was dripping down onto you with the blood that coated the entire right side of his face. The loud, incredibly explicit exclamation you made at the sight was enough to once more make the otherwise-prone man flinch violently, but the moment your fingers touched his face, he once more came alive as if electrified.

"St-...hey, seriously, stop!" His attempts to throw or push you away was, again, fueled by a sort of hysteria and not actual strength in his state, and you quickly dodged another clawed hand trying to push you away to grip his shoulders. You almost recoiled at how hot his skin felt, fever already rising through under the layers of fabric, but forced your grip to stay, speaking urgently with a rasp of your own. "You are bleeding everywhere, I just want to help you... Gods, why didn't you say anything-!?"

You cut yourself off, and blinked. This was the first time you had taken him at face-value, you realized. The blood had been the first thing of note, of course, but your eyes roved over the arched nose, drenched dark strands of hair spilling everywhere...

Then you saw how he had turned away to press his injured side into the ground, jaw tight as a bowstring with how he was gritting his teeth, prepared for a blow. Finally, your eyes dropped to the large, purpling marks on his pale throat and your fingers snatched back as if burned.

"... hey." You were trying to be softer now, even as you are fighting back nausea at what you were seeing as you, slowly but determined, brushed your fingertips to his cheekbones. Something panged inside you at his wince, but your voice managed through, "Can you look at me?" A beat, then as gently as you can manage even with your voice cracking: "Please?"

In any other scenario, you would be thrilled as you finally got to see that green you'd had glow under your skin your entire life. Now though, as it glares at you half-dazed, half-resigned, and half-accusing, like he was waiting for the blow, Gods..., a part of you has to struggle not to turn away from the hooded eye of your other-half, boring into yours.

"I just want to help you," You breath as you look down at him, swallow thickly as you continue. "... please trust me in the fact that I want to make sure you're alright-" You're cut off by the thin, wisp of a noise beneath you, and you realize it's a laugh at your mention of having trust.

You take another breath; you force yourself not to gag at the stench of blood reeking around you. Before reaching down and pulling his limp-arm up, turning to hold the wrist over his face. "Look," You point a shaking finger at the numbers, in your color, on his wrist. His green flicks to it, back to your before slowly sliding back over to it. "...something out there put us together, okay? I don't know what that means for you, if it means anything to you, but you being connected to me means something. So please, just trust me to fucking help you."

Seafoam has slid back over to to your eyes during your shaky speech. It's fixated on you for a long moment when you finally stop, before slipping shut, dark marks rippling at his throat as he swallows a harsh breath before going still.

You fear he's finally lost consciousness. It's no relief when he merely turns his wrist into your hand, now gripping onto you like a lifeline, before he flops his head in the other directly, giving you access to the blood coating his face.

There's no relief from the action, but, now one-handed, you somehow manage your fingers to pull the cloth away, and keep stable as you do your work. You swallow back retching as the hot, sticky fluid quickly coats your hand, even as you pull away to catch the flowing rain-water that drips from holes in the ruined ceiling above, to pour over the wound and try to clean the area to work where it's needed the most. (Nails dig into your hand as you pull away, quickly earning your assuring whisper, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I promise...")

Somehow, you manage. Somehow, while the blood still runs, it's slowed as you press the rain-washed folded cloth over the worst of what his red-eye has become. You let out a breath, still holding his hand... before immediately slumping down back onto his chest, face pressed against his shoulder as you feel exhaustion, in every form, run through your being.

"We'll... get it... better later..." You mumble tiredly against him, emotions and the ability to form proper sentences fading as you mind gracefully begins to shut down. Your soulmate doesn't answer, and as darkness begins to ebb at your vision, you imagine, hope, that he's passing out as well, free from... whatever kind of ordeal he's been through, at least through the temporary peace of darkness.

Your eyes mercifully slip close, overwhelmed mind going blank to the sensation of a thumb slowly, repeatingly rubbing along your wrist, smoothing over numbers you both share.

Now together, seafoam, red and black steadily continue to count upwards along your skin...

000000.002132

000000.002133

000000.002134...

…marking the time you and him, are together. 

[crownarg-the-watchers]

Into the Dark

In every direction the walls of the tunnel echoed with a thundering whisper, the sound of wind ripping through trees like a storm and the crackle of boots trodding on dead leaves in autumn. The crash of waves into cliffs, that pulling, reaching water that strangles the rocks; the crack of earth in drought as the very ground splits open in thirst. Red light flashed erratically in the dark, sparking out like a lightbulb before it bursts, like a blacksmith’s fire throwing burning particles of metal into the air.

The only being who could hear the noise walked on, limped on, stumbled on. He had walked far into the long abandoned mines, past what had been maintained and kept safe, past areas that used to be kept safe and now held nothing more than broken rails, empty torch holders, and carts still full of coal. Walked into caves the miners never touched, trying to find a way down, through the earth, through the stone, through the bedrock. The structure was unsteady around him, groaned disconcertingly, in a way that suggested it would collapse on him at any moment, and he drowned it out with rushing static as he walked on. It was no matter if the walls buried him, if the ceiling crushed him – he would still find a way to continue forwards.

Usually he was always the one to leave, before people noticed he never aged, before people dug in too deep. Before anyone suspected he was anything they couldn’t trust he would go, ask his last questions and be gone before sunrise. He had not watched countless people grieve him – no. They were far from uncountable. The Observer knew each of them by heart, their names and their stories, who they had been before, and who they had been after. Could summon up their voices like summoning wind on a mountain, something cold and numbing and familiar that makes his bones itch, could hear them asking him not to leave and knowing that he will anyways. It was odd, being the one who had been discarded, rather than the other way around.

Dave who had vanished without a word, who always vanished and always came back until he didn’t, who had been the Observer’s only friend who understood. You don’t befriend mortals, they both knew, because they always die, and you don’t. And if you go down the path of craving death, you don’t come back. Mortals can – it’s a long and difficult journey, but they can love life because one day they won’t have it anymore. The Observer knew how to pick mortals without loving them, and Dave vanished before he got too attached to anyone. He imagined holding his best friend’s hand, showing him how interesting mortals could be – and supposed Dave must’ve gotten too attached to him, as well.

To his left, the wall crumbled and fell into the darkness with a deafening groan and sigh, like the earth was shifting into a more comfortable position on it’s sofa. Again, he thought about being between the stones as they fell, to fall with them or to be crushed where he stood. Did he crave death? No, but he craved the fall, from the clear blue sky into the sparkling void, to land with a splash among the starry depths, just to know what it would be like. Was death to fall, or was death weightlessness, or was it to become everything around you – not to be lighter than air, but the same weight, the same density, until you float somewhere in the middle like a cluster of water droplets in a cloud. Perhaps death was to be scattered in the sky like the constellations – he didn’t know, and he would never find out.

Syd didn’t leave you, lied a small voice, the voice of an old radio flipping through stations without lingering on any specific one. It was his own deafening white noise that whispered sweet untruths in his ear. For surely if she wanted to return by now she would have, she would have woken up by her own volition just as Mona had, would have clawed her way back to the surface with stubborn determination, with the passion that she breathed like oxygen. Would have – and he flinched as he thought this but nonetheless it must be true – by all means she should have surfaced when he spoke to Baroness, when he showed her the journal.

His head pounded, like someone was driving a nail through his temple, like being torn apart and put back together with no anesthetic. The constant deafening noise and the flashing lights probably didn’t help, nor the half dozen things he was trying to see at once. He was lost, desperately so, trying to get to a destination unknown from a place yet more unknown. He knew how to go back the way he came, in theory how to clamber up those walls and return to the light and safe familiarity, but it felt undoable. His lungs were rock dust and soot, his feet stone that carried him downhill, his knee a beacon of pain that kept him unsteady. If he wanted to he could leave this place, but he continued on as if it wasn’t even an option, sticking with what he had started.

Llyr had genuinely not left him. Arc had stumbled, had fallen into the dark. When the rocks had crumbled and plummeted downwards so had they, because they were mortal and far from being air they were stone, unsteady and shifting like the very walls of this cave. In the spirit of poetry, in the spirit of the metaphor his guppy had fallen rather than died, and he walked after them, walked into the dark. When he said he knew where cat was, had he lied? He knew, he knew arc had fallen beyond his vision, that arc had plummeted into the darkness, that in the spirit of poetry arc had not died but rather fallen. None of what he said had been a lie. He always let people make their assumptions about what he meant, but he had only ever spoken what he believed to be true. If he had ever been wrong, it was a mistake, not a lie.

He stumbled as the pain hit him again, and reached out to steady himself against the wall. It his never been “nurture” that made the person – no. A statue is not made when the artist caresses softly the stone. The marble must be chipped away with precise force, carved in a particular way – too far and it will crack and shatter, too little and the rock will remain the same. No person is not made through suffering, not the one easily molded like clay, not the one who must be melted and recast like bronze. The material is nature, the person you will always be in your core, and it is your trials that give you shape beyond the stone you began as. With too much pressure one becomes a million shards, with too little one stays a rough rock that scrapes the knees of playing children. The Observer stumbled again as his leg nearly gave out beneath him, twisted his face into a pained scowl, and continued walking.

The records room was invisible to him still, unseeable. Within is the one person he was leaving, temporarily, the one person he cared about whom he could not imagine asking him to stay. There was no universe in which Ethan wasn’t furious at him, and there was no universe where the Observer deserved his forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it, he kew, and so he had already made up his mind to not seek it – because he knew that if he asked, Ethan would forgive him anyways. He wouldn’t apologize because he didn’t regret what he said, and if he went back he wouldn’t change a single thing that he had done. Though he didn’t like that Ethan was hurt, there wasn’t any use apologizing for something he didn’t regret, and there was no reason Ethan should forgive him, so he wouldn’t bother. Not for saying what he said, not for leaving.

For days he’d been without food, nor water, nor rest. He only continued walking in the direction gravity said was down, hitting the occasional dead end, the occasional rockslide. His head ached to the rhythm of the wind, ripping through trees, and the crunch of autumn leaves underfoot. The sound of waves against the walls of these very tunnels, the cracking noise of dry earth. His knee caused him to stumble, his exhaustion caused him to slow, but he walked on because what else was there to do when discarded? What else is there to do, but walk away again, leave another town, another home, another life behind. Don’t love mortals – he knows – because they will always leave you first.

[vintagedaydreams]

True Love Never Runs Smoothly Part Six (Carlisle)

Part Six for the Carlisle version!

Yes, I know that I usually update Marcus’ story first, but Carlisle’s just came so much easier this time around. So! Treat for those who are following this story arc!

This chapter was not beta’d, nor was it proof read. #Wedielikemenhere

Without further ado – or delay – the Carlisle update.

@kettnerjanea @jelly-fishy-babie @the-graceful-ace @amwolowicz @batsdothings @waxingmoonstone @littlebabybatthings @mauvette268 @sagittarius-flowerchild @katsav17 @batsuperflashmartianwonderman @imyourapocalypse @bethanymccauley @bepo-is-sorry @raindancer2004 @ashiemochi @artaxerxesthegreat @bloodsweatandsnapple

  You were not in a good place. Okay, physically, you were in a beautiful room in an ancient castle in Italy, but mentally and emotionally? You were just this side of traumatized.

Realistically, you knew that vampires drank from humans. And realistically, you knew that not all vampires enjoyed your company, (the last few weeks in Forks had been testament enough to that), but to have a vampire attack you and try to drain you while in said beautiful and ancient castle in Italy?

Not cool.

Very scary.

All you wanted to do was go home. Go home and seriously forget that anything remotely supernatural existed. Your life would be so much easier. So much…quieter.

That’s what you wanted. Quieter. Easier.

And that’s why you were leaving. Today. Screw any diplomatic anything. You were out.

You were changing back into the clothes you wore here, since you didn’t want to take anything that wasn’t yours and never packed anything for this sudden trip, when a knock resounded through the room.

You froze, not sure if you wanted to scream or cry.

Couldn’t they just leave you alone?

“Come in,” you finally sighed, tugging your shirt on and plopping down on the bed.

The door opened and Aro glided in. Literally glided in. How the man wasn’t gay was still a mystery to you. He was the most feminine vampire you’d met so far – including Rosalie.

“Cara mia!” came the delighted exclamation, as if he hadn’t seen you in years. “How are you doing?”

You crossed your arms, more as a comfort gesture than any hostility.

“Fine, all things considering,” you said after a moment.

Aro’s happy smile faded and he nodded, gesturing to the bed next to you for permission to sit.

As much as you would have liked to decline, it was his castle after all. So you grudgingly nodded.

“It is the ‘all things considering’ that I’d like to talk to you about,” the flamboyant monarch said after he had seated himself with more pomp and circumstance than you were sure was necessary. You were just a human after all.

When you didn’t say anything further – honestly, you were a little scared about what he was going to say next – he continued on.

“My brothers and I have been talking and we do not feel that an Innocent such as yourself should be made to suffer from the side effects of a Neglected Bond.”

Your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“And….what does that mean?” you whispered after a few minutes of Aro just sitting there, staring at you.

“It means that we have come up with two solutions to your…predicament. You are free to choose whichever solution you desire, though I am sure that with your spirit and your independence, you are not going to like either one. However, in a situation like this, with these players and these circumstances, these were the only two solutions that my brothers and I could come to any sort of agreement on.”

You waited with baited breath and Aro seemed to gather his thoughts.

Which you knew was bullshit. The man was a three thousand year old vampire – he didn’t need to stop and gather shit. He knew exactly what he wanted to say and how he was going to say it.

Dramatic asshole.

“What are the choices?” you finally ground out, tired of waiting and breaking the silence first.

“First,” Aro started, all business and any earlier levity gone, “you must promise to chose and abide by one of these choices. It is not only out of duty as Rulers, but also out of concern, that we have set these decisions. We are giving you freedom to choose, which is something that very few beings get. You have the ability to choose whichever path you feel is better for you, but you will have to obey the stipulations that come with each choice to the letter. Any variance that we are alerted to, and we will choose your fate. Do you understand?”

You gulped, not used to being on the receiving end of this kind of attention from such a powerful being.

“Y-yes,” you swallowed, heart kicking up a few notches as your imagination started to run wild. Everything from being turned by the end of the day, to dying as a human, filled your mind.

“Now, cara mia,” Aro soothed, voice honey sweet and more affectionate now, “know that we have your best interests in mind. Neither choice was meant to hurt or inconvenience you, but rather to help you. A Neglected Bond is not a pleasant thing to go through. And while you should – hopefully – feel less of the symptoms since you are human, there will be some side effects all the same and those may affect you more drastically since you are human.”

You gave a shaky nod, eyes wide and heart hammering.

“The first choice,” Aro started, manner again businesslike, “is to stay here in Volterra. My brothers and I have been around for collectively, around nine thousand years, give or take a few centuries. We have gathered a lot of information and ‘tricks of the trade’ so to speak, and have a few ways around some of the more nasty effects of the Bond. We also have members of our Guard that can help as well, making us a rather indispensable resource for those Neglected.”

You weren’t sure what your face was doing, but it must have been telling enough, for Aro gave a small chuckle that was devoid of humor.

“I didn’t think that would be the route you wanted to take.”

You couldn’t help the blush that spread across your cheeks.

“It’s not that I’m not grateful,” you started hastily, not wanting to offend the vampire that had been ridiculously good to you since you came here. You just didn’t want to stay here any longer! Nothing with them, but this place…it just reminded you too much of all this Bond catastrophe.

At least at home, you could try and pretend your life was normal. Much easier to go back to what you were doing before, than try to carve some normalcy out of an ancient vampire castle.

“Rest assured, Young One,” Aro said with a friendly pat to your hand, “I am not offended. I understand your reasoning. Like I said, I did not think that you would want to stay here. However, I am almost certain you will not find the decision so easy to make once you hear of the second option.

Your other choice is to return home, but to have daily contact with the Cullens – Carlisle more frequent that the rest.”

Now you knew what your face was doing – it had to match the rage and betrayal that was rushing hot and heavy under your skin.

“Of all the dirty, underhanded tricks!” you snarled. “You know how they have treated me, how he has treated me and now one of your stipulations is that I am in constant contact with them?! How is that not going to harm me?! How is that having my best interests at heart?!”

A loud, deep growl sounded out from the vampire in front of you and all of your rage fled in the face of pitch black eyes and bared fangs.

“It is because we have your best interests at heart that we are making you choose between these two paths, Y/N,” Aro growled loudly, sounding more predatory and…monstrous, that you had ever heard any vampire sound. Even the one that had attacked you in the corridor.

It looked as if his control was hanging by a thread and you felt a fission of fear run through you.

“It does not please me to think of you back in Forks, with the coven that is responsible for your current condition. However, Marcus seems to think that you would do well, flourish even, back at home where you have some comfort and confidence.”

The way his voice snapped towards the end made you think that if it were up to Aro, you wouldn’t have a choice and you would be staying in Volterra. Permanently.

Which almost sounded like a better idea.

“You will need to decide soon, cara mia,” Aro’s voice broke through your thoughts, once again sounding soothing and affectionate.

You looked up and were met with ruby red eyes.

“The Cullen Coven is heading back to Forks later tonight – after dark. If you are wanting to return to Forks, it must be with them. Otherwise, if you are staying here, we can make sure you have ample time to say your goodbyes to Bella and young Edward.”

You worried your lip between your teeth – Aro was right. The choice was not quite so easy once you were aware of both choices!

And they really weren’t giving you a lot of time to make a decision either. No rush. You just had a few hours to decide your future and how exactly you wanted to negate some of the nastier affects of the Bond.

You frowned.

“Aro? You’ve explained to me how staying here in Volterra would help with the Bond’s affects, but how would me going with the Cullens and seeing Carlisle almost every day help if he’s the reason behind the Bond being affected like this?”

“Even though my dear friend is the cause of this, his very presence will help stabilize the Bond. While the Bond can read intent, it takes awhile and for the most part, at least at the beginning, close proximity to your Intended can and will relieve the symptoms. Simply being around someone from Carlisle’s venom every day and the vampire himself at least every couple, should satisfy the Bond for now.”

“For now?” you echoed warily. “Then what happens?”

Aro hummed, a small smile lighting his face. “That is for another time.”

At your indignant protest, he held up a cold, marble hand and said firmly, “There is a very strong chance that Later will never happen in this situation. Rest assured, we will be monitoring everything and should it get to the point where we need to step in for your safety and health, we will. But it’s best to not even get into that until the time comes. Unnecessary worry solves nothing, Y/N.”

You gave a slight glare, but let it go. If the man didn’t want to tell you, there was nothing you could say or do that would make him tell you. Though, you didn’t think that knowing all the facts about something that was affecting you negatively right now was ‘unnecessary worrying’. More like ‘smart battle tactics’.

Damn dramatic vampires, always having to keep you in the dark about something.

Would it kill them to actually be forthcoming about something before it became an issue?

Probably.

But no matter. Right now, you had a decision to make. Stay here in Volterra, never see your home or work or friends again and have some vampire voodoo make it to where your Neglected Bond was manageable or go back home to your house, work and friends but have to stay in constant contact with the group of vampires that pretty much made your life a living Hell for the last few weeks.

Both of these choices sucked.

“Why can’t I just go live in England by myself for the rest of my life?” you muttered on a sigh, running a hand through your hair.

It would make your life so much easier – consequences of a Neglected Bond be damned.

“Caius will be pleased to know that you are not a fan of either my choice or Marcus’,” Aro commented lightly from beside you and you gave him a Look.

“Good for Caius,” you deadpanned, feeling a well of frustration bubbled up inside of you. Vampires did remember that human brains couldn’t compute and think things as quickly as vampire brains could, right? Like, humans were much slower at everything. Including decision making. (The fact that you were naturally a procrastinator didn’t matter right now.)

Aro suddenly stood, making you startle and look up at him.

“I will leave you to it, Y/N. A guard is stationed outside your door – simply notify them when you have come to a decision and they were notify the proper people.”

“Thanks,” you said automatically, mind already racing through the pros and cons of each decision, feeling the deadline moving steadily closer.

Damn vampires!

-----

So, never again were you going to make life altering decisions about your mental and emotional health on so limited a time frame.

Your bottom lip was bleeding from you chewing through it and you were pretty sure your hair could win a country music award with how much it was all over the place from you pulling at it and running your hands through it.

But you did it.

You had come to a conclusion.

It wasn’t easy and you hoped to never have such a sucky choice again in your life, but you did it.

You would be going home to Forks with Edward, Bella and the Betrayers Six.

As much as being in Volterra would probably be better for you in the long run, right now you needed familiarity. Stability. And your own bed.

The rest would sort itself out.

Besides, you were supposed to be in contact with someone who shared Carlisle’s venom every day. Edward would fill that void just fine.

And then every couple of days, Carlisle could…stand on the back porch or something.

As long as he was close, that should satisfy the Bond. Probably. Maybe. Perhaps. You really needed some more information on this.

Especially if it was going to dictate your foreseeable future.

With a gusty sigh, you straightened your spine and headed to the door to alert your guard you were going home.

Hopefully, you could find Edward and Bella before having to see the rest of the Cullens.

After alerting your guard as to your plans, you were instructed to stay in your room until someone could come fetch you.

Fetch you? Out of everyone in this castle, you were not the one acting like a child!

But you agreed and took a seat on your bed again.

This was actually helping you to realize you made the right decision. If you stayed in Volterra, you wouldn’t be able to stay in your room 24/7. You’d go insane!

A knock sounded at the door and then Edward entered.

“Eddie!” you exclaimed in legitimate relief and joy, hopping off the bed and running to hug him.

A normal person!

Well, as close to normal as any vampire could get at this point.

A low chuckle echoed through the room and you couldn’t help your entire body relax. It just felt so good to be with someone familiar!

“Make sure you don’t touch Aro on the way to the plane,” Edward said with a huff of laughter. “You’ll end up hurting his feelings at your anxiousness to get away.”

You pulled back enough to see Edward’s face, your mouth opening to deny that you were that anxious to get away – Aro had been so good to you, the last thing you wanted to do was hurt his feelings! – but Edward gave you a crooked grin, beating you to it with a soft, “Teasing, Y/N. Aro knows you are just happy to get home.”

You scrunched your nose up at Edward; he would tease you right now.

But it worked and you felt yourself feeling more like yourself than you had in weeks.

You could do this. It was going to suck, especially at first, but you could it.

“Everyone is ready and waiting by the jet,” Edward said quietly as he ushered you out the door and down the hallway. “I thought we would arrive last and then we could leave as soon as we get there without having to wait for anybody.”

You nodded in thanks, squeezing his arm in gratitude.

“Bella is already there?”

“Yes,” Edward confirmed, “she’s holding her own against them. I think she was honestly excited for me to leave and get you – she’s been dying to have some ‘quality time’ with everyone. I guess the last time she yelled at them wasn’t enough for her.”

You gave a snort of amusement, so thankful to have the support of both Edward and Bella. They really were going to be your rocks through this.

It didn’t take long for you and Edward to come up on the jet. The rest of the Cullen Coven were standing fairly close together, though you noticed Jasper and Alice a bit farther away from the group.

Bella stood farthest away, facing the golden eyed vampires with her hands on her hips.

You seriously loved that woman.

“She’s taken,” Edward murmured to you with a grin and you rolled your eyes and shot back, “You’re a lucky bastard.”

Edward’s chuckle was drowned out by the starting of the jet’s engines. The Cullens slowly began migrating to the ramp leading up to the jet, giving Bella a wide berth to your great amusement.

To your surprise, though you weren’t sure why it surprised you, Aro was there to see you off.

“My brothers would have loved to be here as well,” he assured you and you fought not to roll your eyes. You could just bet. “However, they are needed for a sudden, unexpected trial. I did want to see you off before I go and join them; do be careful and remember what we discussed, alright?”

You gave a small smile, not really enjoying the reminder of the whole ‘listen to our rules or we’ll decide your fate’ thing, but…it was nice to know that you had a group of people watching out for you.

You untangled your arm from Edward’s and walked the few steps forward to give Aro a hug. He really had been amazing to you since your arrival days ago.

“Thank you,” you murmured into his chest as his arms came up to wrap around you as well.

“Of course, Cara Mia,” he returned, giving you a last gentle squeeze before you took a step back. “You are an honorary Vampire and one of us now,” he continued with a smirk. “Please, do come visit us soon – no matter the outcome of your Bond.”

You gave a soft laugh, seriously touched that he seemed to give two figs about you.

“You can count on it, Aro. Thank you.”

The King bowed his head and then called to the small number of guards in the area before making his leave.

Edward came back up to you and gently steered you towards the plane where the ‘family’ of vampires who had made your life Hell for weeks, hated your guts for something completely out of your control, and then suddenly tried to get in your good graces after a scolding from vampire royalty, were waiting.

What an amazingly awkward plane ride this was going to be.

[shierak-inavva]

please ma'am i would like to know more about this 'obi wan gets sent to protect padme' au pls 👀

ok

ok so like, i’ve talked about this on twitter and i am gonna bring it here:

basically, my biggest gripe with the AOTC plot is why in the heck did a PADAWAN get sent on a high profile mission like protecting former queen and senator from naboo Padmé Amidala? even palpatine, at the beginning of the movie, mentions ‘master kenobi’ by name as a suggestion for a guard for padmé (and yes we know why, but still) so i went ahead and imagined a ‘what if’ for obi-wan getting sent instead of anakin—since on top of being a ‘familiar’ face that padmé AND her handmaidens trust and who already is a known name on naboo, obi-wan also already has bodyguarding experience under his belt.

now, factoring in that anakin stays at the temple for a bit and obi-wan DOES get like 3 days of vacation for the first time in....his life....then he gets a few days of just actually RESTING--in varykino, of all places, and with padme, who would literally let him rest anyway. so obi-wan gets a mini vacay. he gets to relax in one of the most beautiful places in the galaxy and padmé does, too--they talk about the battle of theed, about the senate, the jedi, about qui-gon, and for a little while obi-wan and padmé both get to just...breathe, and be...people. which is nice, and which tbqfh they both deserve.

there might not be a floating pear at dinner but there would be padmé watching him go through lightsaber forms in the early morning sun (either shirtless or yknow in some light clothes because fuck you i said so)

there's no balcony kiss, but there are some very lingering glances and smiles when the other isn't looking and some 'accidental' hand brushing...because they would ABSOLUTELY be slow-burn. obi-wan and padmé are both adults at this point, and both of them have obligations, obi-wan even moreso. but he's already known what attraction (physical and emotional) is like, what romantic emotions are like--he's not incapable of these things, he’s just reserved about them because he understands them, but his jedi teachings dictate restraint, and release. satine was still a figure in his life--he just made a choice, in the end, and do i think he regrets it? i think here and there he thinks about it, but i don’t think he fully feels regret over it by the time AOTC takes place. i think that comes later, when he sees her again during the clone wars.

now on naboo with padmé, he's faced with the same sort of emotions blooming up, and he would for sure think to himself about the choice with satine, about the jedi order, and about the repercussions there. so he might let himself get a little closer than he ought to, but ultimately nothing really WILD AND OVERT would come of it in AOTC, even if they'd been alone on naboo. there would be some very close calls, i think, for sure, but both of them are very good at keeping themselves guarded and very good at abstaining when necessary. again, these are two grown adults that have lived both of their lives with expectations weighing on them, and a certain behavior and standard expected of them. they aren’t two horny teenagers with nothing to lose and obi-wan would 100% respect padmé’s boundaries without hesitation while she would offer him the same respect, if maybe not so staunchly. padmé is for sure more flexible with her boundaries, but pair the two of them together flirting....i mean that’s a dangerous amount of chemistry right off the bat 👀

meanwhile anakin would be on coruscant and FRUSTRATED. not because he didn't get the assignment, though that would be part of it--the responsibility aspect—no, because they chose someone else to go protect padmé instead of him. hell, they could have sent mace windu and he'd still be frustrated and jealous as all fuck. but he still does as he's told. he just...looks into the dart. checks in more on the bounty hunter aspect of things because he’s SURE that’s a good lead after the zam situation. he's determined to prove himself, and if he can figure out who's trying to hurt padmé then she'll be impressed too, of course. and he wants that. a lot. obi-wan might have been sent to naboo but at this point anakin:

> is still VERY infatuated with padmé

> does not know about obi-wan’s romantic history and likely would assume he’s just boring her to death/that nothing would happen anyways

but instead of just consulting the council or the archives, anakin goes to palpatine.

palpatine offers NO help with the bounty hunter stuff.

but he DOES sow more seeds of jealousy in anakin's horny teen brain, and in the end anakin ends up jetting off of coruscant on his own. the movies just downplayed the everloving heck out of this but you KNOW palps was in anakin’s ear CONSTANTLY about obi-wan and padmé, stirring the pot.

now, anakin doesn't have the contacts that obi-wan does, but he's determined. i'm thinking he probably susses a few things out about the dart via the force; possibly with help from another master. kit? someone would help him focus if he asked. likely kit, or ki-adi, or plo, imo—he gets enough to at least send him looking for a bounty hunter and possibly towards kamino--but then the stuff with his mother comes up.

and he ends up on tattooine, with the lars family.

and shortly after the Sand People Incident™ is when he gets in contact with obi-wan--and padmé insists on seeing what's going on because she senses something is wrong and obi-wan agrees. (you can pry force sensitive!padmé from my cold dead hands) so anakin meets them at the lars homestead, tells them about his visions with the dart, about the bounty hunter and the feelings he got

and what better place than mos eisley to look for someone Seedy?

mos eisley has them run right into jango.

jango leads them to geonosis.

geonosis gets them all caught.

padmé is the one who sends a message to the jedi council about the geonosians and jango fett before she gets captured too--because you know they told her to stay with the ship while they investigate but then they took too long and she was like 'oh boy i better call the cops'.

the arena plays out like it did in AOTC, minus the secret kiss & love declaration. there’s a lot of ‘how did we get into this mess’ and ‘well you two took too long’ and ‘i told you i should have come in as a senator first’ and anakin trying to be very convincingly brave about ‘i’ll get us out of this’ which is aimed directly at padmé. honestly the rest of the movie would be VERY similar; i think whoever assisted anakin with the dart would wind up on kamino when anakin went to tattooine, and from there things progressed with the clones and the army gets to the republic.

but there's no clandestine wedding.

anakin returns to coruscant with the other masters, commended for his work helping the senator and with the dart. obi-wan and padmé likely have a small 'meeting' scene where she thanks him and he tells her he barely did anything—but there's some hand-touching, and some very meaningful looks, and they do kiss, just once. it's soft and quiet and not under the pressure of possibly dying or anything rushed by adrenaline or hormones, it's just a gentle kiss between two people who've had this building up for weeks; and in the end neither one of them apologize, but there's A LOT of body language that says they're into it and would kiss again--but obi-wan steps back, and padmé just smiles, and there's a shared understanding between them even if it's clear there's some amount of wistfulness.

“i hope your trip back to coruscant is safe, master kenobi," she smiles like nothing's just happened, nothing's different.

"and yours, senator amidala. may the force be with you." and he bows, smiling back.

but they do look back at each other again, and everything is different.

and then you get into TCW—and PLEASE imagine all of the tension there because these two AREN’T married, they ARE sneaking around but only a little; obi-wan isn’t near as brazen with things as anakin and he and padmé get enough time together in the first few seasons to really build some THICK tension between them. like i’m talking dangerous rescue missions, them having to fight their way out together, getting smooshed in tight spaces together, S O M U C H accidental touching, SO MANY almost-kisses....and then there’s the clovis stuff, which would play out way differently because obi-wan isn’t the jealous type at all and would absolutely trust padmé; and then satine shows up again and we get a whole arc of obi-wan dealing with these conflicting emotions and padmé coming very close on multiple occasions to just telling him she loves him but! supporting his decision no matter what and respecting his emotions, because she understands, and because she knows love is selfless and not possessive and she wants to be with him...if that’s what he wants, too.

but then satine dies—and she worries about him once he's back from mandalore, and there is possibly some very gentle and sweet comforting for the audience to enjoy 👀 the big season finale after that is maul holding padmé and another senator or two hostage and it's an ultra close call but maul dips out, bc it was just bait—and the season ends with him admitting as clearly as he can in Obi-Wan Terms™ that he loves her and padmé reciprocating. they kiss and it's very sweeping and dramatic, but now maul knows kenobi has yet another weakness uh oh...

anyways honestly all of this leads to ROTS being about anakin dealing with the jealousy that palpatine’s been feeding into: jealousy towards obi-wan about padmé, and about being overshadowed. it’s about anakin feeling like he can never have enough, about wanting more and more, about obsessive love and doubt—and when it turns out padmé is pregnant, anakin’s suspicions get confirmed and he turns to palpatine yet again.

IDEALLY padmé survives this movie and she and obi-wan go into hiding together with the twins, (or their child? i mean this is for sure up to interpretation for this specific au) and anakin/vader combs the galaxy for them, resulting eventually in padmé’s death and the separation of the twins, and giving some actual meaning to leia remembering her mother in ROTJ.

so yeah i just. have a lot of feelings about things and at any given moment i can and will talk your ear off about ‘what if’ scenarios like this hdkdjdk 😭💦