#urgh posting art is hard for me now...

[chiptrillino]

chip!!! i just noticed your new icon pop up in my notifs and i squealed!! that’s the cutest sokka i’ve ever seen omg i’m pinching his cheeks mwah <3

He is a precious boy agreed!! thank you for noticing <3 -flips hair as if changing an icon is like getting a new haircut-

[ID: digital illustration from the hip up of Sokka from Avatar the Last Airbender. He is portrayed as a child. Leaning sightly forward, rising his right arm as a shield in the other, playfully trowing a snowball up. He is squinting at his snowball fight opponent, aiming, tongue peaking out of his smiling mouth. Nose red from the cold, wearing cozy warm gray brown fur parker with white trims and blue stitching. End ID.]

[bassboosted-moon-chao]

rant here. do you know how endlessly frustrating it is to draw with bad art equipment (gritty paints, damaged pencils, cheapo pens that streak bad, etc etc etc).

AND THEN WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT IT, SOMEONE SAYS "THE BUILDER ALWAYS BLAMES HIS TOOLS".

it is SO. endlessly FRUSTRATING. that's not what the saying means. plus, you need workable tools to make workable art. ohhhhh my fucking God it makes me so mad. i cannot talk about it without someone saying it and it makes me so needlessly angry but like... god. god. there is a REASON it makes me so needlessly angry, too. im struggling to make things and you're just saying words that dont mean shit in this context.

[figkeele]

so this is gonna be half a vent, half a random rambling about the power of good narrative.

so, first off: I love narrative-heavy games, to me those are the top-notch games, a 10/10 game for me always something that touches me emotionally. (Not saying that everything needs a strong narrative.)

context: Spooder-Man 2 (don't even wanna spell it right, so the fans don't find this post) was the game that kept me alive while I was dealing with my mom's cancer diagnosis. The promise of my favorite character interpretation having to deal with the black suit and the emotional fallout? Good shit, bring it! I trusted Insomniac so blindly because two of my favorite games were made by them. (And I completely forgot how much I hate R&C, lol, that's on me.)

The fandom of Spooder-Man kept me hanging tight when I was suicidal, ngl.

And then came the break, lol, the release, the fucking leaks, and while it's a great game, it's not an amazing one because the narrative sucks so bad.

Look, it has technical marvels (dear god, the fast travel), and the fighting is flashy (and easy), but the open world is boring and repetitive. No problem, right? I had a great time while playing for a day. (LOL)

And later when I started to replay it, I just hated everything about it, even on ultimate difficulty (sorry) it was boring, brain-dead, and even though the art direction is nice? I just can't enjoy it again, because the narrative sucks. All I see are the plot holes, the mediocre clichéd story.

Now, comes Banishers, which is... not a game that cost 320 million dollars... It's an AA game, from a studio whose last two games were let's face it, not good. Is the fighting ground-breaking? Absolutely not. It's the most bland thing you can imagine - but it's not far off from Spooder-Man (LOL again). Are the open-world stuff innovative? Hell no.

But it has such a good narrative, such a compelling story, and characters and atmosphere, I look at it, AND I HAVE THE URGE to 100% it. To fucking walk through the map, and find every single side-quest. Do the side-quests switch up what you need to do? No, it's a crime-solving simulator, with only the story elements differing, and dear god, it's still enough to keep me going.

Spooder-Man had everything to be a masterpiece - the franchise made Peter and Miles fighting side by side an accepted thing in fandom (though the MSM cartoon aired sooner), had such a good take on characters, implemented everything from previous iterations, had the potential to become the greatest Venom adaptation... and they dropped the ball so hard that I'm not even expecting a DLC, and I'm not even sure I will fucking buy it. Because I just look at the characters and the map and I have the urge to urgh.

Interesting how a good narrative elevates a game. Doesn't really matter if the fighting is mid, or you don't do any innovative stuff, if you nail the narrative, most people will care.

[lisacatara-actress]

Almost Lisa: Pt 14, “The Book of (most) Fuckary”

*I retain all rights to my photography and story, story details, biographical information, fashion designs, art work, and anything and everything I have posted which is my own creation*)

Fuckary: 1. Pertains to a person, situation (or place) that considered ridiculous or nonsensical · 2. An alternative to the word "Bullshit" · 3. Injustice

I don't know about you, but this post-pandemic world comes standard with a surmountable amount of unnecessary fuckary. Every simple service call I need to make is first met with a long prerecorded messages, followed by series of automated number-punching which inevitably lands me in the wrong place with someone who has a bad cell connection or bad WiFi and can not answer my question (or is ill equipped to). That's if they don't hang up on me when transferring/putting me on hold. I've spent entire days attempting to find proof of life in human form. From power to cell service to online orders. SO> MUCH> FUCKARY.

Here lie a partial list of the recent fuckaries to which I refer...

Tax Prep:

No one likes to prep or pay their taxes (it’s painful. Especially when you use your body as a battering ram for a living). Since moving from California to Georgia, I get to enjoy a surplus of extra fuckary. For one, I dissolved my old corporation and opened it anew in GA to cut ties clean from the greedy hands of the state of California. It took countless phone calls with each and every payroll company by which I’ve been paid over the last 19 years to make sure I’d now be paid royalties to me as a person, NOT my new corporation (which bears the same name). Despite assurances, these things are still not resolved a year and a half later. Additionally, I am now paying personal and corporate taxes in two states. On the day of my appointment with my CPA, we realized that one of the payroll company still failed to correct my information in their system, causing an unwarranted corporate tax form and more calls to get it corrected. The wait to receive this new- correct- document is rumored to be up to 12 weeks. I will have to file late and I will be charged by my CPA for the correction. Thanks California!

Investments:

Took me years to gain trust in investing my hard-earned dollars. Finally managed to find an investment broker to handle my “fortune” (ha!), and he called shortly after to say he's leaving the firm for another. Insisted that was good news and asked me to trek along. I checked them out and wasn't interested. Now what? The investment company randomly assigns me to another rep. Then another. Then another... urgh. I picked one and needed to vet him to be sure my cash is in competent hands. He checked out! Honestly, this one fuckary may turn out to be an upgrade. Whew! On to...

Mortgage:

My mortgage lender failed to pay my home insurance on time, resulting in the insurance carrier dropping me. I found another and signed, only to receive an apology from the former policy company for their mistake and a reinstatement of benefits. Okay, I canceled the new policy and waiting for their refund check to ad back to escrow. And bring my account back to green again. The check came. But didn't reflect the total refund. So I've spend countless hours, days, on hold... with the insurance broker trying to get a human being to help me fix things. Meanwhile the mortgage company which caused me the problem in the first place reevaluated my account, saw my escrow in the red (their fault), and assessed me at an additional $200/ month. I was told this would be remedied when the insurance check from the 2nd company was refunded and applied to the account. Well, I sent the partial refund (while attempting to get the rest) and asked for it to be applied to escrow as requested. Yesterday I was told someone applied the payment to principal instead. Long story shorter: My mortgage lender ran another early annual off site analysis, showing my property value increased. Now I'm paying a higher monthly amount based on increased value which I wouldn't have had to do until many months later when the annual analysis was scheduled. It’s all even more fucked than this, but I’ll end this section by stating I reported the mortgage lender. Ive no doubt nothing will come of it. I'm just paying more. Feels like fraud (turns out this is very common). You think this is nuts, wait’ll I tell you about...

Medical:

I've been seeing a Doctor at a local hospital in GA. He ordered a bevy of labs and tests based on symptoms I told him about and past records I brought with me. He had a suspicion about what was causing them and said we were going to look for it. Because of pandemic shutdowns and continued loss of work/income, I told him I would do the tests which are covered by my insurance. He checked and told me they were. So we proceeded. I have not stopped receiving bills since from the laboratory which processed my blood work, that was 9 months ago. Each bill comes with the same codes and dates of services but claims to be a new invoice. I've paid several in full, another comes. Insurance says some tests are not covered (yet, or at all), that they're awaiting an explanation of benefits. My doctor says he isn't responsible for how much or the way the laboratory charges, to call them. The laboratory says they're just billing what was ordered, to call insurance. Insurance says some invoices were flagged because they don't look right. There are questionable charges. Meanwhile, after all these evasive (and unbelievably expensive) tests, my doctor tells me he found what he was looking for! But not to worry about it because he doesn't think it's causing my symptoms. WHAT!!!! Why the fekkkk did he order these tests and labs? This goes on, around and around for many months. My insurance has been billed over $100,000 in services from this Doctor. Services I was told were covered. AND- it seems- have nothing to do with my symptoms.

At the suggestion from my plan provider, I filed a grievance against the doctor and was told not to pay any further bills until the situation was looked into. My hospital bills (which arrive between 4-8 months after services rendered) include all services rendered within the facility, including this Doctor. When I paid my last bill, the hospital applied payment in portions to each department, including this doctor, resulting in a balance due which was immediately reported to collections. Apparently no one is responsible for fixing this error. I’m now expected to pay the bill in full or suffer “consequences”. The amount I was reported for is under $200. After 9/11, I made sure my credit was perfect and that I owed no one for anything (even paid off my substantial student loans!). I pay bills early, every month. This situation reeks of a special kind of fuckary.

And, finally...

Work:

Remember what happened to me in 2007 due to the Writers Guild striking? How it all but ended my acting career? Well, there’s another writers Strike looming right now. In preparation for what will bring a shutdown on production, producers have been busy stockpiling content to air, planning for more reality programming and “real people” casting (we- actors- are not considered real people) in order to remain unscripted (without writers). Work has already been slow throughout 2022. Now, its eerily quiet in the Entertainment biz yet again. I was blessed to land a couple of projects recently. But my days were just cut due to production being behind schedule and wanting to wrap things up. A global pandemic shutdown wasn't enough. Now this. While I will be eligible in April, the nightmare which is Georgia Unemployment maxes out at an annual $4500 (CA is more then twice this). Who can survive on that? That’s about a month of bills for me. I could cancel my health insurance, I suppose (lol). Not much else to sacrifice and still remain relatively healthy.

*******

Is it me? No. Am I just complaining? No. Am I unreasonable? NO.

I have a feeling, many of you can relate. Some things have changed for the worse since this Pandemic began. Everything is challenging now. Simple communications aren't simple. Easy transactions, aren't easy. I long for the days people helped people. Not robots and AI. There are plenty of jobs for humans, but they don't pay livable wages. Not because the companies cant pay fair wages, but because they won’t. Investing in AI and tech is a write off. Investing (aka PAYING) people, isn’t. And those corporations want their multi-billion dollar profits. “Fuckary” everyone else.

Sigh. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

           (To be continued...)

*PS If you like what you're reading, I welcome contributions to the efforts via Venmo @LTarantinoDesigns)

[lovinganvil]

lunar new year, auspicious new moon + a view from my window

xoxoxox lovers + fighters. it really does feel like a good start a good swell a good vibe cresting. a quiet energized move towards hope and strength and … all these things.

i mean my goodness it’s been a hard year over here and i think in general. after talking with so many in our circle and beyond our circle. i know i’m healing and refocusing. it’s a process and i’m looking forward to streamofconsciousness journaling here again. that’s the goal. if not daily (urgh i keep thinking daily but resisting setting myself up for frustration and falling short) posts, something close to that. we’ll see. el chich is involved in a very cool class where he is journaling daily so maybe i can sip off that inspiration.

i do want to keep this very - hmmmm stream of consciousness. i can get overwhelmed or stymied by too much planning or pre-writing in my head. following a line or sticking to a theme, so to speak. i did have some ideas of what i wanted to write today but then kept finding other things to search or browser tabs to open so . so let’s just knock that off. just writing. like in the early days of the interweb when it was so much less …pointed. it felt more like we were all OH HEY! look at this wizardry - i’m here, you’re here except that we aren’t actually, and not even at the same time really - isn’t that just the darnedest thing. - do you remember that vibe? i guess that’s expecting you to be of a certain age. it’s no matter.

really, i just want to say hi.

and also not so much peel back layers but get back to my ease and focus. over the past couple of (insane pandemic) years my pa’s health failed and so much around that - and then when he left this mortal coil last summer and all that that was and is. then our pip stepped out for college at the end of last summer and my goodness it was so very important and monumental and a LOT. i haven’t been in my body for a while. so much more to process around all of this and let me tell you my dreams have been BONKERS the past few days/weeks/months especially and one thing that is so amazing and so good and so important and so exciting and so thrilling and so familiar and so GOOD is getting back to my bench. i am seeing things in working with metal and stone that feel so very . good . - it’s a thrill.

and all of this with the year of the rabbit and a beautiful new moon - such auspicious astrology aligning (i wont’t try to summarize what ms j. mcarthy in particular says so very very well.) and you may or may not know that i am not necessarily the biggest fan of snow and winter weather. but of all things as more lessons pour in and more my heart stretches and opens, this snow is just charming me to pieces. it’s so beautiful. it’s clinging to everything THICK even a few days later. and the SKY some might find it dreary but my most favorite part is the sky - it is the same VERY SAME color as the snow for the past three days now. the monochrome surround is so soft and perfect and quiet and dreamy. even the photos i took can’t quite capture the small hue steps between terre and ciel. the camera lens wants to pull in the sky glow, overemphasizing what is.

AND the forecast says we’re to get more snow today. as i write the sky just deepened it’s gray two (sure let’s go with that) more steps. well. settling in for a midwinter art-steeped creative hibernation under a steely new moon sky - set those intentions, lovers and fighters, and sending you alllllllll the goodstuff vibes from the hogfarm.

xoxo coco

[mocweepe]

i wish more content was described dis iz kindof tiring tbh 😞

[fencesandfrogs]

I am really glad you said your piece about that historical fashion post cause insisting that passion and art cannot coexist with historical accuracy in shows, that are marketed SPECIFICALLY as being set in a specific era, sounds very dismissive and condescending of the effort fashion historians put into educating people about historical costume, and how its portrayal in media affects the perceptions the audiences have of it

YEAH thank u

problem is NOT with shows like ofmd but i am like.

urgh okay so i keep mentioning anne w an e let me explain.

latest episode i watched. woman in it. wore pants. no corset.

made me very upset.

erased a bunch of real history about women. victorian women made very cool skirts that turned into pants for riding bikes. they were not helpless. they were working women. they refused to be held back. they wanted to ride a bike, so they made a way to ride it. that is so cool. that's how progress is made.

but instead of showing that we will just give her pants.

why?

why why why?

n it's never with men. i mean men's clothing its own bag of worms. but still. never ever with men. men wore corsets sometimes. men had style. never bother with that tho. just put them in suit and call it a day. i don't have an eye for men's historical fashion not enough people talking about it. i want to develop one.

but going back.

she didn't wear a corset. i got very angry. i have spent so long explaining to people corsets are not bad. and here this show is.

problem is anne with an e looks right. i mean. it looks wrong if u know. anne's very modern beanie. i swear someone wore scarf clearly modern. people i watch with they don't notice. but i notice.

anyway.

so they see woman take off corset think she is. idk. liberating herself.

but that's upsetting. women should be comfortable. bras are very bad. women should go back to wearing corsets. or at least they should have better support garments. shoulders not meant to hold all that weight.

corsets r feminist okay? corsets don't demand your body fit the standard. corsets are comfortable. put padding to make your body match the standard. no spanx. no compression. just support.

why have her take off corset? why not show the wide array of corsets designed for working women? ones with only bones so they breathe. or ones with only cording so they r flexible. or or or.

no.

just have her take off corset. because that means she's a feminist icon now.

doesn't matter that real feminism was happening. doesn't matter. who cares? why bother? just have her take off the corset. skip the hard messy ugly stuff. no one wants that.

so to then say. fashion historians don't get to correct that? don't get to explain that? don't get to.

urgh.

i'm glad for the support anon. i have always been fascinated with history of dress. it's very upsetting to see it diminished. that is passion. passion is caring.

not trying is not passion. it's not art. it's just sad lazy.

shows that try in other ways r okay. like ofmd. or. okay here's a secret i only care about the clothes so i don't watch many period dramas. just look at pictures. but. ofmd is okay not trying to be accurate. not lazy. passion.

but passion is not this dress looks old and we think it says something about the character. that's lazy. make fantasy movie if you want that. make something that doesn't pretend to be accurate.

it's very disingenuous to act like well it's just fiction too. because shows and things market themselves like serious drama very real very accurate look at dress costumes. ignore makeup ignore hair ignore shoes ignore ignore ignore.

not passion.

lazy.

more handmade lace and ruffs. more stays. more chemises under corsets. more men with funny pants. more wigs.

that's passion.

[lyallblacklupin]

Don’t miss the Yule Ball.

Remus sorts out his feelings about Sirius. 

Tags: Post-Incident with Severus Snape, Angst with Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, Trust Issues.

Chapter 4

If someone had been there to witness what happened to Remus after Sirius had left the dorm, they would have had given him the longest hug to repress his teeming guilt that had gushed out of him so hard that he had collapsed on the floor, rocking back and forth for tears to come out, but they never came. He never wanted things to be turned this way between him and Sirius, which were completely unexpected. Sure, he did fantasize of being asked out by Sirius, but not in his right mind he had ever had any hopes for it to happen. He really underestimated Sirius. He was strongly reminded that the void in his chest was Sirius’ absence in his life which was expanding day by day, ripping his heart in the midst. He wanted Sirius. So much. He felt selfish—in fact he was selfish, and right now it didn’t seem like much of a sin.

He was again at the Gryffindor Table in the Great Hall, sipping coffee heedlessly, mind floating elsewhere in the crack of dawn. There were no classes today due to the Yule Ball in the evening. He had nothing to distract himself with. Surprisingly, he was greeted by a very unusual couple that he had to blink his eyes a little too much to believe he was seeing right.

“Oh, stop blinking! I know it’s hard to believe.” Lily Evans grumbled, with a slight amusement in her voice.

“Oh Evans, it’s not hard for me to believe. I am very much alive right now!” Yes, that was none other than James Potter, grinning his usual stupid, stupid smirk.

“For your information, we are not dating, Potter. We are just friends who happened to be going on a very casual event of our school.” Lily imitated a very elegant voice, smiling successfully that James couldn’t stop looking at her—or couldn’t stop swooning at her.

“Sure.” He shrugged, the smile not leaving his face for a second. They both slipped into their seats beside Remus, but they didn’t sit together. James and Lily were sitting on Remus’ sides. When the silence had prolonged for more than it was necessary, he found both of them staring at him.

“What?” He was utter confused.

“You think we are unable to see that long face of yours?” Lily commented, arching her brows like Mcgonacall. He shook his head slightly. He knew that he was not going to get away from this, “Tell us what happened?”

Remus was unable to gather words. He felt like he had no ounce of energy left in his body.

“I don’t know what to tell…” He trailed off.

“Okay, how about you tell us what are you feeling?” She put her hand on his.

“I don’t know that either.”

“Okay, okay…Umm. How about we ask you questions and you try to answer them?” Remus was not thrilled with her idea, so he stayed silent which she took it as his approval, “Did you have a fight with Sirius?”

“Not exactly a fight…” Remus was replaying the memory in his head for the infinith time, “Merlin, I wish it had been a fight.”

“Was it about…what he did with Snap—“ Lily was cut off by the shake of his head.

“No, it was not about that!” He said irritatingly, “We are way past that, okay?” He wasn’t asking but he was making it clear.

“Are you?” James interjected.

“Look, I have forgiven him long time ago. It’s just getting difficult to be, you know…normal?”

“Okay, let’s talk straight here, mate,” James put his arm around Remus—which was a typical ‘James Potter move’ when he was trying to convince someone, “You guys were dating before…all of that,” He did a vague hand gesture, “And right now, you guys are just these uncomfortable exes who are missing each other so much but have a tendency to ignore that.”

“Of course, I miss Sirius. He was my only best friend, James.” James gasped dramatically, making a show of how mocked he felt by his comment. Remus rolled his eyes at him.

“Yes, but James is trying to say that you guys miss being each other’s boyfriends.” Lily said those words with such gentleness that Remus felt heat creeping up on his neck. He was suddenly reminiscing the best memories of his life when he was dating Sirius.

“You are an ignorant, self-centered and a mean boyfriend, do you know that?” Remus replied blankly, his temper had reached the level of exhaustion because Sirius was right that Remus was never going to win any arguments with him. So he flopped on his bed but Sirius crawled from his behind to take him in his arms.

“But you love me.” He whispered, planting tiny kisses on Remus’ ear and jaw. Remus had turned into a mush, because it felt so good. He decided that he wasn’t unhappy on his position in their relationship. His mind made a mental note to himself that he’d rather let Sirius win all the arguments if it meant that he was never going to leave Remus.

“I do, I do love you.” He whispered back.

“Moony?”

“Remus?”

Remus jerked out of his ruminating to see James and Lily gawking at him.

“Sorry, just zoned out of the conversation.” He cleared his throat and Lily offered him her coffee.

“You’re a mess, Rem. You need to sort this out with yourself.” She was right, Remus knew, but he also wanted someone to tell him what to do.

“What do I do?”

“Go to the dance with him!” James piped up, and Remus flinched, “What?”

“Urgh. That was how it all started…”And then he told them what happened when Sirius asked him to be his date, how it turned out, and how infuriatingly he didn’t know what to do.

“You have a date!?” Lily scowled at him. Not only James was looking disappointed by the news, but Remus also felt sick of himself.

“I am the worst person in the world. I messed up. I messed everything! I knew that this was not what I wanted! I never wanted to date anyone. And yes, I admit, I haven’t moved on. Not even a little bit. I still think about him, and I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he had always been the one to calm me down whenever I’m angry or sad but then Snape happened, and I made a promise with myself that I will never let Sirius come near me. But I was this overconfident shit that I thought I will be able to handle all it. And then I wasn’t…and I can’t…”

His chest was thundering as the sobs began to cloud his throat, waiting for Remus to let go of himself. He didn’t want anyone to touch him otherwise, he’d never stop crying now that his heart was opening and becoming vulnerable.

“Moony…” James’ gentle voice was enough to bring his emotion at the brink of his eyes. He didn’t just underestimate Sirius, but also himself. That was very unlike Remus. He hated being the center of attention, he hated breaking down in public, and he hated people’s soft words—let alone the physical gestures.

“Don’t.” It was all he could manage to say when Lily had touched his arm. He was on his feet as he fled the hall, in desperate need to reach the lavatory.

So it was about what happened with Snape, came a voice in his head when he was inside the vacant bathroom. There was still mistrust, swimming with his judgments. His mind was telling him that he shouldn’t commit the same mistake of getting into relationship with Sirius but his heart was not helping at all. It was so in love. He was trying breathe properly.

Let love be your guide, his heart said.

And then get lost? His mind retorted.

Yes! Remus wanted to slap himself.

He had been pushing feelings all of his life. He had been very difficult with Sirius for straight two days when Sirius had confessed that he was in love with him. The most remarkable thing was that Sirius understood his struggle with feelings and emotions. He had the art to scoop them out of Remus’ system. Moony, this is the only way to calm yourself, he had said to him. And now, as Lily had said, he was a mess. Without him. Without Sirius.

After few hours—what felt like minutes—he washed his miserable face and walked to the courtyard. He didn’t want to go the Gryffindor Tower to face anyone. He was a wreck. He didn’t want to face Sirius either, so he just sat by the outdated fountain where the tree was protecting him from the sun. He decided that he was not going to the Ball. He just wanted to rehearse his future act of turning down Catherina Johnson gently. He relaxed himself there. It had been fifteen minutes, and he had been thinking of his DADA essay for Patronus charms, which was a win-win for him as a distraction.

However, it wasn’t long when he took out his wand and tried to cast a patronus.

“Expecto Patronum.” He whispered, thinking about the time when his friends had first time accompanied him to the moon as Animagus. A silver wisp glowed on the tip of his wand but then died out after a second, which made him eventually want to think about the moments that had made him genuinely happy. He thought about the time when Sirius had told him he was a good kisser, when he had told him that they should start dating, and a lot more but they were not strong enough to cast full patronus, just a silver light flickering. He was confused. He focused and focused, becoming impatient. He was also worrying if Sirius was not associated with his happiest memory then maybe Remus had been in an oblivion—or say, stupid in love. He knew that love was the most powerful element to do wonders, even in the wizarding world. But What if it was never love? What if it was just infatuation? Then why was his heart hammering so violently in his chest? But then he was suddenly reminded of a very bad day in his fifth year when he was walking by the dungeon where the sixth-years were taking their Potions class, and Slughorn had called him to volunteer.

“Mr Lupin here is a fifth year, and he has advanced enough to brew Veritaserum which is supposed to be taught in his next year. Uh—Mr Lupin please, come forth and—Mr Lupin?”

Remus was extremely annoyed by a certain scent saturating the room. He was sniffing, and whipping his head to follow it. He had completely forgotten that he was volunteering with Professor Slughorn because he is so concentrated on the scent which is filling his nostrils, making him quite dizzy.

“What is this smell, Professor?” He asked, still looking here and there. He knew that some of his senior students were making fun of him as the room was filled with faint sounds of sniggers and snorts.

“Mr Lupin, you are in a Potion classroom, there are numerous of potions sitting out…” Remus ignored his rambling because the scent is getting stronger. He couldn’t put a finger on it because it was reminding him of many things. Musk, which was making him lightheaded. Cigarettes. Damp hair after hot shower. The feeling of leather on skin, and also the forbidden forest. The scent had a strange sense of familiarization. It was vague but he was drawn to it. It was like he was sitting in the heart of someone—someone he knew, because he could feel their heart beat in his ears.

Remus’ whole day was a disaster because he couldn’t brew the Veritaserum properly, Slughorn had sent him back to his dorm, he was tackled by Peeves on his way, and he was also annoyed by some portraits which had made fun of his scars. After his prefect rounds, he entered the common room with a foul mood, and spotted Sirius Black sitting alone on the couch. He looked at his pocket watch and found that it was past midnight. Sirius stood up and held out his arms, smiling at him. Remus threw his satchel and books away, and fell into Sirius’ arms. He was embraced so tightly and warmly.

They both stayed quiet, and Remus nuzzled his face in the crook of his neck. That was when his eyes snapped both because he caught a whiff of the same scent that had been annoying him in the Potions.

“That scent.” Remus murmured, pulling away from Sirius.

“What scent?” Sirius asked, perplexed.

“Oh! Not you, now! I have had enough of it! This scent is driving me mad, Sirius!”

“Hey, hey, calm down, Moony, why are you crying?”

“What?”

“You are crying.”

“Oh.”

“Come here.”

He was embraced again, and then it hit him. That scent was Sirius. It was not coming from somewhere, it was just Sirius’ scent. Very natural, and very Sirius. The potion he had smelled in the dungeon was Amortentia. Sirius had always been the one to give Remus the physical interaction he shared with no one in his group. Due to his claustrophobia, he had always found hugging very uncomfortable, but not with Sirius, never with Sirius.

“I’m claustrophobic.”

“I know.” Sirius tightened his hold on Remus, pulling him impossibly closer, and he was not choking for breath. That made him cry, more and more. He was not embarrassed for the streaming tears, so he let them fall because it was just Sirius. His home.

“Expecto Patronum.”

A full grown silver dog shot out of his wand, running in circles around Remus enthusiastically. And suddenly, Remus realized why such an odd memory was his happiest and the most powerful one because it was the day when he was brought in front of the raw truth that he was in love with Sirius Black.

It was afternoon, and everyone was gathering for lunch a little earlier because the Great Hall was going to be sealed for the decorations of the Yule Ball until the evening. Remus looked around him, everyone was beaming and laughing with the exhilaration for tonight. He needed to find Sirius. He wanted to talk to him. He wanted to see him, at least. He walking quickly through the crowd, looking for him.

“Hey Remus!” He turned to find Catherina staring at him. Remus groaned internally.

“Hi, Catherina.” He tried to smile.

“Oh, call me Cathy. My friends calls me Cathy.” They fell into brief silence but she break it—to Remus’ horror, “So what’s the color of your robes tonight?” He frowned at her, “Oh, it’s okay if you don’t to tell but please don’t wear anything mustard. I have an extreme aversion to—“

“Catherina, I can’t go with you tonight.” He tried to ignore the hammering of his heart.

“What?” She looked distraught.

“I’m sorry—“

“Is this because of Black?”

“What does Sirius has to do with any of this?”

“Oh you bet your arse, it is! You guys think you are so subtle.” Remus is frozen in his place, “Who do you think you are? You thought I was just a bloody nobody to whom you’ll say yes without having to mean it—“

“Catherine, it’s not like that! I’m not feeling well, I can’t go—“

“Oh, save it, Lupin! You first agreed to be my date and broke Black’s heart, and now you’re going to his date by breaking mine?” She looked hurt, very hurt and Remus wanted to just die because her words were too true to be painful, “Can’t you see what you are doing?”

“I am so sorry, Cathy. Please. And I’m not going with anyone!” But she was shaking his head, “You have to believe me. And you are right, I did break your heart and you have no idea how pathetic I feel! I am a terrible person. I don’t deserve to be your date.”

“You are not,” She spoke after a brief silence, “You are not a terrible person. You are just stupid.”

“Same thing.”

“Look, you didn’t break my heart. You hurt my feelings, and I didn’t expect that from you. But you know what, people surprise you.” There is a very awkward silence between them and Remus couldn’t stop himself from apologizing. She gave him a long strange look, and then walked away.

Remus didn’t stand for any longer, he began walking. The thoughts, the guilt, the pain, the unjust things, the stupid acts, unfathomable love, all of that was dawning upon him at every step he was taking. His pace was becoming frantic as he reached closer to the Gryffindor Tower.

He entered the common room, his heart was racing abnormally. He paid no heed to the fourth-years standing in their robes and gowns. He ascended the staircase to his dormitory. For a second, he thought he was the same fifth-year student fleeing the Potions class because a certain scent had screwed up his day. He barged into the dorm just like he had on that day in the common room.

And once again, he found none other than Sirius Black, sitting alone in the room.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 5 is coming soon!

[prince-liest]

fic writer interview!

How many works do you have on AO3?

37, though another one is going up tomorrow because haunted AO3 hours started and I don't want to post it in the middle of the night on a Monday. Also like 4 or 5 more in reserve from zines/bangs. I'm kinda impressed with myself, but also, side-eyeing y'all with fic counts in the 100s. Phenomenal. Effervescent.

What's your total AO3 word count?

257,246

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

In chronological order of first fic on AO3: Percy Jackson, Soul Eater, Steven Universe, My Hero Academia, Dragalia Lost, Avater: the Last Airbender, the Witcher, and Genshin Impact! That's 7 fandoms and I'm not counting Homestuck (I only wrote OC stuff) or D&D (same thing).

I also have works from Axis Powers: Hetalia and Katekyo Hitman Reborn! on Fanfiction dot hell that none of you will ever see. I definitely posted and deleted a Twilight OC fic once.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Dish Duty | ATLA

The Sword of Damocles is Swinging | MHA

The Ancient Art of Jerkbending | ATLA

Dishabille | MHA

Summer Break | MHA

ATLA is a powerful fandom so I'm not surprised both my ATLA fics made top five. Dishabille's popularity continues to pleasantly surprise me. Damocles is only surprising because it isn't first. I am so proud of Summer Break and that entire Shinsou series, I'm glad it made top 5 and is gonna break 1k kudos soon. <3

(Now get Dog-Tired up there, I fucking love that story. q^q)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

To quote Mido: I do, but not consistently. Q^Q I read them all and I really want to reply to them all, but I very frequently simply to not have the energy. I have it posted on my AO3 profile, though, so hopefully it doesn't hurt anyone's feelings... I have recently been trying to at least answer all new incoming comments and not let the backlog increase! (That said, the backlog is over 100.)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't tend to do angsty endings (I am a hard lover of angst with a happy ending), but I've written some questionable and bittersweet ones. I think arguably the best contendor for angstiest ending is probably Kindred Spirit. I wrote it to low key revenge myself on @thegc4life for insisting that Shinsou gets a hug (he does! technically!) and it certainly ended ominously.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

As much as I love "Edward Elric gets transported into X universe and proceeds to kick everyone's ass" crossovers, I don't relaly write any. I do enjoy full transplant AUs, though, and the one I recently posted on AO3 is an MHA-at-Hogwards AU called the Birds and the Mares that I wrote for the HP/BNHA Zine!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Deeeeepends on what you mean by 'hate.' :X has gotten two comments (one much politer than the other, haha) complaining about my use of the r-slur in Shinsou's internal narrative in one of the chapters, but one person backpedaled and said they understood the purpose of it while the other (more vehement) one never replied to my explanation. That's all, though!

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yeah. It's never going on my main AO3 (and the one time it did, I orphaned the fic). I have a side account I might post it on once I get over the fact that people who know me also know about the account. It's all 100% PWP of stuff I personally am into, and I have a very specific set of things I'm into, so... idk, feels a little personal! ^^"

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but I've had people adopt general concepts I used (fabulous!) and steal my RP OCs back in ye olde fantroll days (not at all fabulous! incredibly hurtful, actually). I am vehemently opposed to plagiarism, even of concepts. It feels so gross.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone in the comments mentioned that they are translating Bloodied Hound into Russian and I am SO EXCITED. I desperately want to read it. Of all the languages, it happened to be the only other one I'm decently literate in! I also want to show my grandparents. I really hope the person follows through. <3

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've roleplayed a lot, but I can't see myself ever co-writing a fic. I'm not even sure how it works, to be honest!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Urgh. Pass. I can't pick one. Perils of a multishipper.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I was going to proudly say "I never post things I don't plan on finishing!" but in reality that is a lie, because Falling Down A Rabbit Hole exists from back in 2015 and is in fact the reason I made that rule for myself. ^^" Honestly, what's there still holds up, but the reality is that I didn't actually come up with a plot, so there's nowhere for it to go.

What are your writing strengths?

Interesting/relatable/funny dialogue, and also writing feelings in a 'show, don't tell!' kind of way that leaves strong impressions with people!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting out long stories with good pacing! People thought Damocles had a plot, apparently? Joke's on you, it was a series of "I wanna see this happen" scenarios that I made Hawks suffer through and subsequently strung together like a haphazard multicolor plastic bead necklace that I told everyone was actually pearls.

That's why all my stories after Damocles are either short or split into a series. Shinsou's Bad Days is my attempt at proper pacing, hence it being so episodic.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'll do it if I know the language well enough (so, Russian and ASL, I don't trust my casual Japanese), but I'm generally a stickler for making things come off naturally, so I otherwise will instead try to find the closest tonal equivalent in English (such as having Childe call Zhongli "professor" instead of "xiansheng"). Sometimes there just isn't one (like Kazuha calling Beidou 'big sis' but in a way that doesn't sound kiddish and overly casual for him), though, which sucks. :( Language is cool!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

T. Twilight. QUQ I wish that fic still existed, it was like a single chapter of two multicolored hair OCs befriending Alice Cullen and being cool. I deleted it but I SHOULDN'T HAVE. IT WAS HISTORY.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

This totally changes with each new slew of fics I post. I think currently it is Dog-Tired because despite being unsatisfied with the title, I think the story itself turned out amazing. I also am extremely happy with the entire Shinsou's Bad Days series (including upcoming installments).

Tagged by: @touchmycoat (THANK U LOVE <3)

Tagging: anyone who's read this far, LOL. seriously, though, I have a lot of writer moots and I don't have the time to tag them all but PLEASE do this and tag me so I can read it if you are so inclined! <3

[bunnie-the-lighthouse]

𝒥𝑜𝒾𝓃 𝑀𝑒 𝒪𝓃 𝑀𝓎 𝒜𝒹𝓋𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒

Pairing: ATEEZ Choi San & Reader

Warnings: A Few Curse Words (I think it was one) 

Inspiration: ATEEZ’s Cover of Black Cat (For Some Reason It Reminded Me Of ‘Ah, It’s a Wonderful Cat Life’ [VOCALOID])

Type: Fluff

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“(Y/N)! Hurry up, we’re gonna be late!” Min-Gi yelled as I followed behind, “What’s so special about the act?” I whined as I attempted to catch up while wearing my high heels. “It’s gonna be amazing, trust me!” he laughed as Yun-Ho looked at me with concern painted on his face.

“You sure you can spend the whole night in those killing devices?” he asked, pointing at my stilettos as I pondered for a moment. “Realistically, no, but for the sake of looking luxurious and formal, yes,” I sighed as he looked at me with pain.

At the end, we reached the theater, Min-Gi excited as shit while Yun-Ho and I knew he would fall asleep before the performance even starts. As I was waiting for the two to buy the tickets and snacks, a stray black cat walked elegantly towards me.

It purred while rubbing itself against my leg, its tail twirling and wrapping around my ankle as I smiled. “Hi there,” I greeted as it mewed back, “(Y/N)!” Yun-Ho called as I looked up at him waving his hand. “Sorry kitty, I have to go,” I whispered as it mewed.

As I was about to walk away, the cat followed me, laying in front of my way to Yun-Ho. Its tail flopped on the ground while showing me its tummy. “Awe,. I wish I could have time to play with you kitty, but I have to go join my friends,” I explained as it only mewed back. 

Proceeding to walk again, I felt my dress getting tugged as I glanced and saw the cat use it’s claws to hang onto me. I quickly stopped as it retracted it’s paw and looked at me with a monotone yet cheeky face. “Kitty,.” I sighed as Yun-Ho and Min-Gi walked over to me, “Is this cat holding you back?” Yun-Ho asked as I nodded.

“Mister or Miss Cat, can you please leave our friend alone for the night? We have a performance to catch, let’s go (Y/N),” Min-Gi quickly said while grabbing onto my wrist and dragging me away, excited to watch the act.

“Sorry kitty!” I called out as I glanced and for a moment.. I saw a male with black cat ears popping out from his head. I then shook my head and saw the ball of fur, sitting on the spot where I originally saw the male, swishing it’s tail. 

“I knew that he would fall asleep,” I sighed exasperatedly as Yun-Ho rubbed his temple, “He said he was excited for the performance.. This is the performance? I thought it was going to be ballet or some other form of aesthetic art.. Not.. People acting like cats and.. Actually.. Urgh,. This is exhausting..”

In truth, Min-Gi fell asleep and now Yun-Ho and I were stuck looking at some actors acting like cats.. So much for ‘Dance of the Cat Walk’.. How was this show even able to almost be sold out?

After getting back home, I sat on my couch, tired of walking in high heels and sleepy from the boring performance. Yun-Ho carried Min-Gi back home because he refused to wake up and the cat was no longer out there when the performance ended.

As I walked to my bedroom, I glare and see something shuffling underneath my blanket. I grab onto a hanger and apprehensively get closer, lifting the blanket up and seeing.. The stray black cat. “How did you get in here?” I shrieked as it mewed and jumped off my bed. 

It then walked into my bathroom as I chased after it, “Kitty!” I yelped as I then bumped into a hard chest. I groaned in discomfort as I felt something embracing me. I then looked up as I saw the male with the black cat ears, “K-Kitty?” I whispered out as he chuckled.

“Surprised? Mademoiselle,” he asked as I studied his features.. A sharp jawline, small face, and a thin yet very built body.. 

“You are always welcomed into my embrace, Mademoiselle,. Would you like to stay like this all the night?” he teased as I shook my head and pushed him away.

“W-What? Who?” I stuttered on my words as he laughed at me, “Cat got your tongue?” he joked while slithering out of the bathroom. “Hey!” I called after as I followed him to the living room, “What do you want? What are you doing in my house?!” I demanded an answer as he smiled.

“You wouldn’t kick me out, would you?” he asked while tilting his head as I stared at him, waiting for my answer. He then did a small stifle laugh while sitting on the couch, “Choi San, Mademoiselle, as you can see, I am a cat hybrid and I came here to ask you a question,” he began.

“Would you take my hand and travel the world with me?” he asked as my jaw dropped, “Let me get this straight.. You want me, a complete stranger, to join you on your adventures?” I questioned as he smiled, his dimples showing.

My heart started beating faster when he stood up and strode towards me, “Yes,” he smiled as I shook my head, “San.. I can’t do this.. I don’t know you, nor do you, plus the outside world is dangerous for the two of us if we even go out and travel,” I said as he pouted.

“I’ve been a stray for ages! I know how to handle the outside world!” He whined as I sighed, “San,. I’ve lived my life in the city and I haven’t really travelled much,. And since we are strangers, I don’t really trust you,.” I replied as he frowned.

“But we are fated..” he whispered out as my eyes widen. “How about this? Come every day to my apartment at 5 PM. We can start connecting better that way,” I said as his frown turns into a smile, “Should we start?” he asks as I smiled.. Nodding.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hi Fellas~ Bunnie here (lol). I’m new to Tumblr and stuff, but I like typing and creating short stories and imagines. This is the first thing I post on here so, please enjoy it! 

Please leave some tips or comments to let me know if you guys have any requests or instructions on how to use Tumblr because I am a boomer.. 

Thanks a lot once again! Have a nice day/night!

[thewebcomicsreview]

Hey, it’s Hamsteak 2! The last double update month since they fell below 2000 patrons.

Previously, on Homestuck, Jane blew up John’s home, and he’s been stuck there.

For a second I thought this was inexplicably John’s dad back from the dead, but I presume it’s Solid Karkat

Post Theme:

Yep, there we go. The red outline on the eyepatch is a bit much, but otherwise it’s a solid post-apocalypse outfit. Also one with no Cancer symbol, so if Kanaya’s new outfit not having the Virgo and Vrissy not having a Scorpio didn’t confirm it already, looks like Candyland trolls don’t use signs anymore (even though Meat Karkat still does). 

KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.

Nice subtle reference. I’m reading this in David Hayter’s voice.

The hard transition from that hero shot back to the standard sprites is great, and I think one of the few times either Homestuck has actually been funny with its multiple art styles.

JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.

KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN.

KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY.

I gotta admit, I was kind of hoping that Karkat would just straight-up be Big Boss now and not even vaguely resemble his HS1 self. 

KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH. JOHN: huh? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING. JOHN: my shoosh thing. KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING. KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS?? KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB???

Karkat speaks on behalf of the forums asking why John didn’t just put out the fire. Apparently John didn’t think of it. Which, in fairness, John’s kind of slow.

KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START.

KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP.

KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT.

JOHN: ...right.

KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY?KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT?

KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT?

KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS!

Oh boy.

So, there’s a little bit of a meta “Ha ha, you thought Jane’s nonsense plan was us being bad writers but it actually made sense!” going on here, but if Homestuck 2 is going to have Gamzee’s corpse randomly teleport into a closet and explain it behind a patreon paywall or have two NPCs with silly names that are subtle Easter eggs paired with an NPC who’s silly name is just a silly name and the joke’s on you for trying to figure it out, you can’t then turn around and dunk on your audience for not thinking enough about what’s happening in the story. I’ve tried thinking about Homestuck 2 and making predictions, and I’ve repeatedly been punished for it with sloppy nonsense non-answers. You can’t make fun of the readership for not analyzing the events of your story when half the fucking thesis statement of your story is dunking on the kind of reader who likes to analyze stuff! You’ve trained me not to think critically about Homestuck 2, and if this is an attempt to try to retrain me then fine but you can’t be surprised this happened. If your story doesn’t make sense and someone strange happens, people will just repeat to themselves “It’s just a show, I should really just relax”.

KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL.

JOHN: shit.

KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED.

JOHN: shiiiiiiiit.

On the one hand, it’s deeply hilarious and cosmically fitting that Vriska’s “Walk into the trap on purpose so as to heroically fight our way out of it” plan failed. One the other hand, how did a handful of human mooks defeat Vriska, who is on the same power level as Bec Noir? 

KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO.

JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):

(Also John FYI you have a son somewhere you really ought to be more concerned about right now)

JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers?

JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her.

Okay, fine, you’re addressing this and it’s a mystery I’m supposed to speculate over. Cool. If Homestuck 2 is making a concerted effort to present mysteries and then answer them instead of just being nonsense, that’s a change in direction I welcome.

JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot...

KARKAT: A LOT WHAT?

JOHN: a lot funnier.

KARKAT: FUNNIER.

JOHN: how to put this.

JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny!

JOHN: but now it's just not the same.

JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know.

Christ, this comic is so fucking meta. 

KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.

KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!

KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.

KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE.

KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE.

KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE.

DO YOU GET IT. IT’S ABOUT CAPITALISM. KARKAT IS A PORTLAND PROTESTER AND JOHN IS A WHITE LIBERAL. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT AND I WASN’T BEING TOO SUBTLE.

Anyway, long story short everyone told Karkat about Yiffy but neglected to mention that Dave was presumed KIA. That was rather rude of them.

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- THE HOGWARTS HIGH INQUISITOR

"Padfoot mate, you don't really think you think," he cut himself off and went cross eyed before trying again, "I mean that Harry is-" then he stopped again for the ludicrous statement couldn't even manage to pass his lips.

Sirius watched with some distant form of amusement as James struggled to find words, a concept in itself, as he ran his fingers hard through his hair and tried to find a way to answer. "What if I do? All those stories we've heard about what happens to those in Azkaban, what makes you think that didn't happen to me after twelve years? Turning into a dog could only have saved me so much-"

"Don't," James snapped, his eyes darkening by the second. "I can't stand thinking of you like that, it's never going to happen."

"It's already happening Prongs," Sirius whispered back. "What if we can't stop this, it's all supposed to happen in less than a year! People will start going missing, and then Dumbledore's going to come around and get you and Lily to go into hiding, and I'll do it again, I swear I will, I'll hunt down that rat bastard and-"

"Think what you're saying," James snapped, fighting hard not to knock him upside the head while he did. "Future tense mate, we'll find a way to stop this happening well before then, so stop acting like it's inevitable already. You're not going to turn into that, I refuse."

Sirius still couldn't seem to take his words to heart, gazing at a picture Lily had hung up on the wall of a forest that had branches swaying in the wind, an occasional critter flipping in and out of sight. It reminded him of the Forbidden Forest, where he'd had so many happy memories, and it scared him how tainted those already were, and kept reminding him it was only going to get worse. "It's my worst nightmare come to life, I don't know how but the universe did that to me. Made me go as mad as my folks, in a different way I'll grant but all the same, and then jailing me right back there."

  "It's not going to happen," James repeated, and would keep doing so until it sunk through his thick head.

They met eyes, Sirius almost absently saying, "you have always been around to remind me of that," and then quickly flipped subjects before even the notion of this no longer existing could linger, "honestly though, I thought you were going to bring me up here to rib me for talking to Harry like that."

James snorted and rolled his eyes, forcing himself to relax as he seemed to think he'd accomplished something. "I'd be remiss if you didn't tell Harry he wasn't having enough fun in his life. I still think you should show up at Hogsmeade and show those three what we used to get up to, Harry needs more fun in his life and he's clearly not getting it from his friends."

Sirius bit at his lip as he realized Harry wasn't getting that from him either, he'd been far too consumed with his own pity party, but at James' words, he was now at least holding out hope it would come true soon.

James watched as Sirius was already starting to fall back into wallowing, and he couldn't let that stand. Sirius was usually his inspiration to start all the madness they got up to, seeing him so low now truly was doing something to him he could hardly put into words, and he desperately hoped that the next time Sirius' name came up it would be in some form of his release back into a normal life already, he'd suffered long enough for it. For now he grasped his shoulder with a tight squeeze before actually managing his old laugh back and saying, "come on now, let's see what kind of mass destruction the school causes in rebellion against whatever that stupid comment of Percy's was. Dumbledore not in charge, pfft, Fudge couldn't do any such thing."

Sirius did at least smile as he followed him back for that, any talk of setting Umbridge in the area with the twins was bound to cause a laugh, which he was hoping to hear from soon. The methods she used on Harry weren't going to hold long.

Lily and Remus were still very concerned by whatever that reaction had been, but also knew James was the best, if not the only person Sirius would get help from with it and so were plenty satisfied to see him not visibly lingering on it when they came back.

Harry most of all wanted to persist on the subject, as he felt like he'd let Sirius down in some way, but when his godfather flopped down beside him with a normal smile in place Harry just couldn't bring himself to mess it all up again when his dad had clearly seemed to comfort him about it. So as James picked up the book and began, they were all feeling almost slightly hopeful again this was all going to somehow work out.

They'd expected to have to comb the paper to find this mysterious article, but instead it was right on the front page, with a very large shot of Umbridge accompanying it.

"Urgh, as if you don't get enough of that around the castle, now you've got closeups," James crinkled his nose in disgust.

The title read the woman's new position as High Inquisitor.

"Why do I already have a bad feeling about whatever the hell that made up title is?" Remus sighed.

"You've got good instincts," Harry's eyes were already narrowed with dislike.

Harry asked what that could mean, as Hermione began reading the article about the Ministry passing new legislation giving itself new levels of control inside Hogwarts.

James struggled to understand even the first sentence! What did that mean, the Ministry had control over their school?

Lily had her lips very tightly pursed as her mind flew through the ramifications of that. Hogwarts had always been of its own body and under the guide of the current Headmaster. This had allowed for a lot of free will inside the school outside of Ministry influence which many considered a good thing, as it left the children to grow up and form their own opinions of what they thought were right and wrong. Now their own government was more than actively stepping in as more than just a substitute teacher role? Just what the hell was Umbridge going to have these students doing? Aside from torturing them!

James looked to his friends like he was hoping for some kind of clarification from them, but both seemed just as confounded by the idea.

The Minister had been growing uneasy about the goings-on of the school for a while, says Junior Minister Percy Weasley.

"Did they have to post his title? I find that entirely unnecessary as of course his Junior would agree with him," Sirius scoffed.

"I just wish they hadn't said his last name, marks a bad light on all the Weasleys," Remus rolled his eyes for poor Arthur and his reaction to further seeing his son agreeing with all this.

Minister Fudge is now responding to the concerns from anxious parents who were concerned of the direction the school was moving in.

"Then they should talk to the Headmaster, and deal with this in house as it's always been," Lily stated absently, still trying to wrap her head around how this abrupt change had just sprung up overnight and it was entirely allowed.

This was not the first time Fudge had been seen influencing the school of late, as of the end of August he'd also enacted Educational Decree Number Twenty-two, giving the Ministry power to elect a teacher at the school should the Headmaster or mistress not find a candidate.

"Oh that's even better, they've been at this since the summer," James said in exasperation, already a spiel of comments he could imagine his parents saying if they'd heard about this.

Weasley continued speaking about how this was how Umbridge had begun her time there, and she was an immediate success-

"Let's put Percy in detention with her and see how long he holds that," Harry said grimly as he rubbed absently at the back of his hand.

"He'd have to be set up to be put in there, and even then I'll bet he could kiss her arse out of it," Sirius growled, perhaps even more darkly than he should have just for having to watch Harry do that.

Harry cut in there to protest the absurdity of that statement, but Hermione shushed him and kept reading about Percy saying she was revolutionizing the teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"By not teaching them! Yeah, I'd say that's revolutionary!" Remus balked at the absurdity.

The success of this function lead into current Educational Decree Number twenty-three, the creation of the High Inquisitor. A position that allowed the Ministry to evaluate the teachers on premises and make sure they were up to scratch to be teaching future youths. Professor Umbridge had delightfully accepted this role along with her teacher's position.

Lily had to swallow a bitter taint as she almost realized what a good idea that could have been coming from anyone else. Abysmal teachers like Lockhart and Snape wouldn't have been a problem then...but that's not what this job was really doing, and she knew it full well, so didn't bother speaking it.

These new transitions had received much support from parents who had children attending school.

"I do not believe that," James scoffed. "If my folks had heard the Ministry was weaseling around inside Hogwarts they'd have thrown a fit. They never have before and they're just suddenly doing it now after they've spent the summer campaigning what a mentally unstable person Dumbledore was? That doesn't seem the least bit suspicious it's all happening at the same time?"

Lucius Malfoy being quoted as saying his mind was much more at ease knowing Dumbledore was being put under evaluation.

"Ah, well at least that support suddenly made sense," Remus scowled.

The paper continues in saying this was something that should have long since been done considering the controversial appointments over the last few years, including half-giant Rubeus Hagrid, a delusional ex-Auror known as Alastor, Mady-Eye, Moody, and the werewolf Remus Lupin.

Remus suddenly felt such a sharp twist of fear in him he retched on the spot and felt lucky he didn't vomit. He'd never been afraid of attention before, unavoidable when you made friends with James and Sirius, but the fact that his name was actually being thrown out like that honestly made him question how he was even still alive. After all, the last werewolf that had ended up in the papers had a hole hunt formed around him-

Sirius gently cut off this train of thought by smacking Remus upside the head and saying, "knock it off Moony, if they haven't done anything to you before now they're not going to suddenly start just because the Ministry is pushing in. You're long gone, clearly not making a bid to come back, and Dumbledore's got you doing that shitty arse underground work that leaves you so far off the radar anyways it's a miracle if you'll even be reading this."

Remus almost found the comfort somewhere in there, at least his body stopped trying to throw up.

Harry was honestly curious enough to interrupt what this mysterious underground work was. He'd long since gathered it had something to do with Remus staying in contact with other werewolves, but he still longed for details he decided against asking even now because it was such a touchy subject for the poor guy.

Others were not as enthusiastic about these changes, two of the Wizengamot had quit in protest of this.

"While I applaud them," Lily nodded sadly, "but it's almost a backfire on them as well, for the same reason Tonks and Arthur haven't quit their post yet. They do more good holding their tongue and staying on the inside."

"That method ceases being useful when it's all you end up doing," James scowled, though at Harry for holding his tongue far too often.

One being quoted as saying that was a school, not the next outpost for Fudge, this was only further attempts to discredit Dumbledore.

Sirius gave a merry little applause for that bit at least, thankful that this had been put into the paper at all the way it was running lately.

The article ended then with the ominous comment how one of those who had quit had details of goblin subservice groups on a separate page. Hermione said at least now they had their reason of Umbridge being here, and now she could go and inspect all of their teachers? This was outrageous!

Harry agreed with his fist tightly clenched, the words etched into his hand already a dull white instead of having vanished.

James saw red as he realized four days had already been enough to put that mark into his skin. Years later and it was still there. None of them had the delusion this wasn't going to happen to Harry again, and he doubted he could read through it without screaming some more no matter how little good it would do.

But a grin was unfurling on Ron's face.

"I immediately like where his thoughts went," Sirius piped up at once as the same grin appeared, thinking of that foul toad trying to inspect someone like McGonagall and blissfully aware who was going to come up on top.

They asked what he found to smile about, and he said he couldn't wait for Umbridge to inspect McGonagall, the toad wouldn't know what hit her.

The others caught on as well, and now they were all grinning in anticipation of watching McGonagall have a thing or two to say to that pitiful excuse for a teacher.

Hermione stopped the conversation then by getting to her feet and reminding they had History of Magic. Harry was surprised when he didn't find Umbridge in there to inspect the lesson.

"What are the odds she won't be inspecting any of the ones Harry's in?" Remus said without a trace of hope.

"Non existent," James said without looking up.

Nor was she in potions, where Harry was given back his essay with a D for a grade.

"I find it an actual miracle he didn't just flat give you a T," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Once all the assignments had been handed back, Snape gave a speech at the front saying he'd graded these as if they had been OWL finals, and hoped to see better improvement over all, or he would start handing out detentions to the dunces that got d's.

Lily almost felt a twitch appear on her lips again at his alliterations, he'd always gotten a giggle out of her when he did this, but she forced herself not to react.

Malfoy snickered loudly that someone had gotten so low a grade.

"I'm guessing he gave you an O after you cheated off of someone else's," James rolled his eyes.

"Or paid another student to do it," Sirius agreed.

Harry saw Hermione looking sideways at his and he quickly stuffed it out of sight before she could see.

"Why bother?" Remus asked curiously.

"I can already hear the lecture she'd give about how I should have tried harder or some nonsense," Harry sighed.

Lily frowned at him for that, wishing he would try harder in this class even if he did hate the teacher, but at least holding herself back.

Determined not to give Snape a reason to ruin this attempt, Harry carefully studied every line of instructions today before brewing his potion. It was still a bit more runny and not quite the right shade of turquoise like Hermione's, but he handed it in with the satisfaction Snape couldn't say anything about it with mingled defiance and relief.

"I commend you, considering at some point I'd have just chucked the cauldron in his face," James snorted.

Hermione began babbling at once about OWL grades as they left for lunch, saying while she hadn't expected the top grade,

"I don't actually believe that," Remus snorted, "I can already imagine her near the end of this crying every five seconds if she doesn't get all O's."

even a pass at this stage was encouraging.

Neither boy responded, so she kept going on about how they now had time to improve, these grades were the baseline for their future-

"Is she going to keep going with this?" James groaned as he eyed the pages with misery. He'd been starting this thinking of more Umbridge carnage, but instead he'd been suffering through some OWL memories he'd have rather forgotten.

Ron finally cut her off if she wanted to know their grades, she should just ask them.

Hermione feigned surprise at the question, but finally did ask.

Ron said he'd got a P, while Fred popped up then to say there was nothing wrong with a good healthy P.

"Err, doesn't P mean-"

"Poor, yeah," Sirius said with chipper, "only one letter off from acceptable, so really they're not wrong."

Hermione was surprised at this statement, as P stood for Poor?

Lee agreed, then said at least it was better than D for Dreadful.

"I always thought it stood for Dunderhead," James grinned.

"Stop naming things after yourself James," Remus quipped.

Harry did not enter the conversation, but Hermione was still in full swing.

"This is most likely going to be an ongoing topic until next year, when she'll move onto complaining about her NEWT grades two years too early," Sirius groaned.

Hermione kept going saying the passing grades were O for outstanding, then A-

Though Fred corrected her E came next,

James gasped wildly, and then frantically prodded the page with his wand as if insisting to find a flaw.

"What do you mean Hermione doesn't know all these by heart?" Sirius agreed mildly. "The way she was obsessing over them, even having done some pre exams last year, you'd really think she'd know that."

"I'm actually quite sure she only took note of what the top grade was and didn't care about the others," Remus rolled his eyes.

for Exceeds Expectations. Personally he thought he and his twin should have gotten E's on everything, considering they exceeded expectations just by showing up.

Causing all five of them to giggle.

They all laughed except Hermione,

"Why is that a recurring thing, it always makes me sad," Lily sighed.

"Someone needs to tell her she's getting a T for her sense of humor, see if she lightens up any then," James agreed.

who ignored him and agreed then it was A for acceptable, and that was the last passing grade.

Ron mock celebrated then you could get a P, then D, while George finished with T, for troll.

Harry laughed unexpectedly, then looked around and realized that while they were smiling, he realized it was at his reaction, and he blinked in shock.

Harry laughed again, though he was not sure whether or not George was joking.

"Nope," Sirius grinned, "though I don't understand why they'd want to give you a letter grade that would make someone think, well that's better than B for Blast-Ended Skrewt."

"You're an idiot," Remus rolled his eyes.

He imagined end of year and getting T's on all his grades, and immediately resolved to do better on his work.

"Whatever gets you through it love," Lily grinned as the thought had never crossed her mind Harry would do any such thing. Even while being at his breaking point he'd still been putting effort into his homework, there was just no way he'd do so poorly on all his exams if he just tried a little harder.

Fred asked if they'd had an inspected lesson yet, because they just had in Charms.

George agreed she'd just sat in the back of the class making notes the whole time, and Flitwick was perfectly polite to her of course. Then near the end she went around asking them some questions on the subject.

Fred asked who they had for their afternoon classes and when Harry started with Trelawney, Fred agreed a T if ever there was one.

Causing them all to snort with laughter as they suddenly imagined the wonderful idea of if the twins had taken her class and the mayhem that could have been.

Then Umbridge herself.

George warned Harry about minding his manners then, because Angelina would do him in if he missed any more Quidditch practice.

"Because that's the important part," James said grimly as his eyes flashed protectively to his son again, wondering if it was possible Umbridge's detentions could somehow get worse if she realized Harry wasn't going to take her message.

Harry didn't have to wait for his last class to see Umbridge again though. As they were taking their seats inside Divination, a sudden hush went over the room as Umbridge entered, causing Trelawney to look around as Umbridge greeted her.

Lily felt an interesting struggle taking place in her mind. She'd disliked Trelawney from the instant she'd been introduced because of insisting her son was to die, which would set any mother on edge. Yet she hated Umbridge quantifiably worse for actually hurting her baby. She wasn't really sure what she wanted to see happen here, but she wouldn't deny she was listening just as curiously as the others.

She began by asking if she'd received the note Umbridge had sent about the date and time of this inspection?

Trelawney went stiff, nodded without response, and then spoke to the class as if she wasn't there that they would continue looking through their dreams.

"Can't deny I'm already intrigued," Remus said grudgingly. "Trelawney shouldn't have had much to do with her before now considering how rarely she leaves her own tower, which means her ire with this woman must come from something we haven't seen yet."

"Maybe just from students like Parvati and Lavender who might have talked about her," Sirius offered without much thought, but immediately corrected himself when he realized, "but they haven't exactly gone out of their way disliking Umbridge themselves yet either."

"I'm sure it's just the insult of her class being inspected," James snorted.

They divided into pairs and Trelawney went to take her seat, realized Umbridge was standing right behind it, and instead began circling the class.

Harry quickly made up a dream on the spot about how he'd drowned Snape in his cauldron.

"They say dreams are where you live out your fantasies," Sirius snickered.

Ron snickered as he went to work on this, saying you were supposed to add age to the date of the dream, plus the number of letters in the subject, before asking if that was drowning, cauldron, or Snape?

"Drowning, isn't it? The other two are nouns," Remus said absently.

"Nouns can be the subject," Lily shrugged, "it depends on verb usage and-"*

"Please, this is why I was grateful Hogwarts never subjected us to Muggle classes, don't start on things I don't care about," Sirius groaned.

Harry couldn't care less about the answer as Ron went to work while Harry eavesdropped on Umbridge catching up to Trelawney and beginning to ask her some questions, such as how long she'd been in this position?

Trelawney regarded her for a moment before deeming the question worthy of the answer sixteen years.

Harry felt a sudden whack at the base of his skull for some unknown reason, absently reaching up and brushing at the back of his head as if to make sure it was still attached but ultimately ignoring the sensation.

Then Umbridge asked that Dumbledore had appointed her himself?

Though it was getting harder by the moment as Umbridge's questions really were starting to dig something out of the base of his skull that was beginning to build up quite a bit of pressure...

Trelawney kept up her curt replies as Umbridge then asked that she was the great-great-granddaughter of the renowned Seer Cassandra Trelawney?

Remus felt an odd smile flicker across his face as some old Greek myth came to mind about the Seer Cassandra who nobody believed truly was one, but he didn't point this out to the others for once as he was more invested hearing about this.

But she was the first in her family line to have inherited the gift of Second Sight?

Trelawney had to hesitate for a moment before saying these things tended to skip, err, three generations.

"Was the pause because she had to think about it and count that on the spot?" James mocked.

Umbridge was clearly not impressed as she made a few notes of this, and then looked on and asked for a prediction to be made.

Trelawney was outraged at once, saying the Inner Eye did not See upon command!

James was almost amused by this, as normally Trelawney spat out so many predictions in a lesson you couldn't shut the woman up. Now Umbridge was asking for one, and that was offensive?

Umbridge shrugged with indifference as she went to make a note of this, but then Trelawney wildly switched to grasping at the pink cardigan, apparently overcome with the fear of what she was seeing, a dark peril looming...

"I think she made herself worse by doing that," Sirius sighed. "Should have just stuck with the first thing she said, then later and a lot more randomly spouted something at least generally more threatening than that generic mess."

Dolores Umbridge was in grave danger!

Umbridge raised an unimpressed brow and ticked off something before saying that would be all.

Lily actually had to catch herself to stop from laughing. Even knowing Trelawney was a true Seer still didn't make this waffle intimidating in the least, but she despised Umbridge too much to agree with her on any level so she held it in.

She turned away and began asking some students questions, while Trelawney stalked over to Harry and snatched his dream diary away, proclaiming in a carrying voice for all to hear that even his most mundane dreams were filled with fortunes of his death.

"Yeah, there it is," James said tartly, least she could always fall back on that one, though how she managed to make that less believable every time was an actual achievement on some level.

Harry was having a hard time feeling sympathy for her during this, and when they were finally released and entered Umbridge's own class, the woman was humming.

"Urgh, having to listening to croaking all lesson, I'd rather live with a cicada," Sirius rubbed at his ears in thought.

They took their seats in the back and pulled out their books, while the teacher instructed those hopeful few who'd left their wands out not to do this very thing.

"I'm not sure if that's ignorance or delusions," Remus sighed.

They were to begin chapter two now.

Still smiling to herself, she set about some papers on her desk. Harry began flipping mindlessly through until the thought occurred to him if there were enough chapters to keep this going all year, and he was just flipping to check on that when he noticed Hermione's hand raised again.

"So were there?" Lily asked.

"Don't know, never checked," Harry shrugged.

"Even if there weren't, I'm honestly wondering if she'd have just made you reread it from the start or something," Remus rolled his eyes.

Umbridge took a different approach this time and approached her instead, bending down on her level as Hermione told she'd already read chapter two.

When Umbridge told her to go on to the next one then, Hermione stated she'd read the whole book.

"Man I wish I was more surprised, actually I'm just sad for the wasted time," James sighed.

Umbridge looked mildly surprised as she then asked Hermione what the author had said about counter-jinxes in chapter fifteen then?

Hermione gave the accurate answer at once, and Harry saw Umbridge was impressed against her will.

"People get that a lot around her it seems," Sirius mused, he didn't always like Hermione either, but she never failed to impress him with her knowledge at least.

Hermione kept going though, that she did not agree with Mr. Slinkhards interpretation of counter-jinxes and his statement they were only used as another form of jinx-

Umbridge cut her off this wasn't up for discussion.

"That was already established," Lily cocked her head to the side as she tried to understand, "what was the goal of her doing this?"

James shushed her and read quickly to find out, if anyone could find a way to push Umbridge's buttons and make something interesting happen in that class, he'd bet on Hermione.

Hermione tried to say something else, but Umbridge cut her off by taking five points from their house, while Harry demanded what for? Ignoring Hermione's warning for him not to get involved.

"She is sitting right next to you when she started this," Remus rolled his eyes, "don't tell me she really thinks you'd stay out of it."

Umbridge gave the answer for disrupting class pointlessly.

"She simply asked a question of what she was supposed to do now she's done with the work," Sirius tried for an innocent tone, ineffective as he wasn't likely to receive an answer for that anymore than Hermione.

She was going to teach them a Ministry-approved method that did not include inviting students to give opinions on things they didn't understand.

"Every bit of that was the most ludicrous thing I've yet heard her say," Remus said faintly.

"I particularly like the part they're not supposed to have opinions on what's being 'taught'," Sirius sneered.

"She read the whole book, how can she still try to make that claim!" Lily demanded.

"I'm beginning to wonder if there's something conceded about her," James said deadpan.

Their previous teachers, with the exception of Quirrell, would never have passed an inspection-

Harry cut off Quirrell had been great, except the fact that he'd had Voldemort's head sticking out of the back of his own.

"I'm actually wondering how many of the students knew that at the end of the year anyways," Remus suddenly blinked in surprise.

"Not the point," Harry grumbled.

Umbridge hardly acknowledge what he'd said except to give him another week of detentions.

Lily made a guttural, maddening noise of frustration for Harry suffering through that all over again, and she vented on the only person available. "Harry James, stop antagonizing her! It's clearly done you no good, after multiple people have warned you to stop, and you are suffering more consequences than doing any good!"

Harry flushed with anger for a moment, considered snapping back he was doing more good than anyone else was even bothering to try, but then considered the fact that snapping at her would achieve nothing. His mother was simply angry with the situation and he did not want to start yelling at them like he had been his friends in the past, so he simply held his tongue and nodded absently, also failing to mention whatever he did he couldn't go back and stop himself from doing it here now could he.

The first consequences of this came up at dinner that night, where Fred's prediction came true at once and Angelina caused such a racket with her yelling at him over having to miss another practice that McGonagall swopped in and interceded, taking points away at once for all the noise in the middle of the Great Hall. Several Ravenclaws at the table behind were still watching the show.**

Angelina wasn't deterred, saying he deserved it for another detention ruining her regime.

McGonagall turned sharp eyes on Potter, demanding who this detention was from, and very clearly displeased at the answer as she took another five points away.

"Who takes away house points after you find out someone has detention?" James demanded in outrage. "What's McGonagall playing at, he's already suffering enough for this!"

"I guess she did warn him not to continue messing with her," Remus sighed, "this is her way of punishing him for disobeying her as well."

"That did not make this feel better," Sirius scowled.

Harry tried to protest he was already being punished enough, but McGonagall wouldn't hear it, claiming detentions didn't seem to work on him so maybe this would.

"The worst part is she doesn't even know what's going on in those detentions," Lily groaned miserably, just begging for the sharp eyed woman to spot Harry's hand and raise hell for it any day now.

She warned them both to confine the shouting to the pitch before departing.

"I do love how she says confine shouting at Harry, not stop it," Sirius muttered.

Harry slammed into his seat beside Ron in a fuming mess as he demanded how it was fair he was getting his hand sliced open and losing points?!

"Maybe she wouldn't if she knew that part," James seethed.

Ron was sympathetic for him, saying she was out of order with that one.

"Are we really the only ones insisting on how dumb it is you haven't mentioned this," Lily demanded. "What about Hermione?"

"Still haven't told her yet either," Harry muttered as he shifted uneasily in his seat, still wishing this would stop being mentioned all together.

Hermione, however, merely rustled the pages of her Daily Prophet and said nothing.

"So she does know?" Remus yelped at this glossed over development.

"I guess Ron did tell her at some point," Harry blinked in surprise, he'd been too angry to realize what he was saying to whom at the time. "Honestly I'm just happy she didn't give me another go to Dumbledore speech, so I'm grateful I wasn't around when she did find out."

Nobody agreed with him, though clearly repetition wasn't doing any good regardless.

Harry snapped at her that he thought their head of house was in the right then?

Hermione answered cooly that she wished Harry wouldn't get points taken away, but she also wished he'd stop losing his temper around Umbridge.

"Hermione was the one who started the last two fights!" Sirius couldn't help but defend. "Harry more than likely would have sat in the back of the class and not said a word if it wasn't for her."

"You can't blame Harry's action on what Hermione decides to do," Lily scolded.

"Doesn't help one of his mates isn't trying to fix this problem either," Remus shrugged.

Harry did not speak to Hermione all through their next class, but all memory of the fight evaporated when he walked into Transfiguration and first spotted Umbridge instead of McGonagall.

James actually began wriggling in place in sudden excitement. If he'd put money on anyone giving that toad a run for her galleons it would be McGonagall, there was no way she could push her around like she just had to Trelawney.

The three watched almost eagerly as class began, McGonagall acting as if the extra woman wasn't even there as she instructed Dean to pass out homework, and Lavender to start handing out mice, and warning that vertebrate animals were much harder to-

Harry was distracted as he got his work back and saw he'd made an A.

"And that was with the minimal effort," James applauded, while Lily rolled her eyes at him even if she did agree.

Dean took his seat and mouse and was at once scolded for doing something to it that would wind him up in detention-

"What'd he do?" James demanded on the same breath as he'd finished.

"He was trying to place it on Parvati's shoulder," Harry shrugged.

"Less inventive than I was hoping," Remus sighed.

While Umbridge used the same, hem, hem, cough to try and get attention.

McGonagall turned cold eyes on her as Umbridge began that McGonagall had received the date and time of her inspec-

McGonagall coolly cut across of course she had, otherwise she'd be wondering why the woman was here.

James made a little squee noise when he was done with that response while Sirius was already full blown laughing, he knew McGonagall was his favorite teacher for a reason!

Harry and Remus shared a triumphant smile while Lily said impatiently, "James if you don't keep going, I will," though her eyes were sparkling with their own amusement for their old head of house.

James clutched the book to him protectively as he kept going with glee.

Then she kept going as if nothing had happened, even though Umbridge did the same act again not moments later.

McGonagall didn't even face her this time as she said sharply how Umbridge expected to get an idea of her teaching methods if she kept being interrupted, as she did not permit others to talk while she was.

James couldn't do it though, he immediately burst out laughing again, and this time Lily couldn't deny joining in. This was hardly the fiery pit they wanted to toss Umbridge into for what she'd done to Harry, but even seeing someone hold their own against her in this way was the most satisfying thing that had happened so far!

Umbridge looked as if she'd been slapped, before hastily turning to a fresh page and scribbling furiously.

"I would pay anything to get my hands on those notes," Sirius' grin was slipping past amusement right into evil. "See just what her version of, I need a burn healing charm looks like."

Looking supremely unconcerned, Professor McGonagall addressed the class once more.

Harry wasn't paying much attention to her warnings of the complexity of the larger the animal the harder it was to vanish, he was to busy whispering to his friends how she could get onto him about losing his temper when she wasn't acting much better. There was no anger though, as he grinned at McGonagall, all anger forgotten.

"Technically McGonagall hasn't gained a detention yet, so she's still doing better than you," Sirius smirked even as he was leaning forward eagerly to hear more of this.

At the end of the lesson, Ron was putting away only a wriggling tail,

"It is indeed a good mark he's already got the larger portion of the body by the end of the first day," James agreed absently, his eyes still eagerly hoping for more between Umbridge and McGonagall.

as they began to file out, but hung back when they realized Umbridge was going up to talk to McGonagall. She asked only one question, of how long she'd been at this post?

McGonagall said thirty-nine years in December.

Umbridge jotted this down before saying she'd receive her results in ten days.

McGonagall gave the curt reply of how she couldn't wait as she swept away.

"She really shouldn't act so thrilled, sets a bad impression," Remus snorted.

She barked at the three lingering at the door to get a move on, but Harry swore she smiled as she passed.

"Favorite teacher," James repeated warmly, hoping that would leave some kind of impact on Harry in Umbridge's next class. He wasn't the only one defying Umbridge.

Harry sadly turned up at his next class only to find Umbridge there again, already talking to Grubbly-Plank. She was being asked that this was not her standard position, to which the sub agreed she was only standing in for Professor Hagrid.

"I don't think anyone's yet called him that," Sirius' face crinkled as that registered.

"Does sound kind of weird, even if it is appropriate," Remus agreed.

Harry's spirits sunk as he watched Malfoy approaching as well, knowing he'd love nothing more than to gossip about Hagrid strait to the Ministry.

"He's already been doing that, surely he can't do even worse damage," Lily said with unease even she didn't believe.

Umbridge then asked if Grubbly-Plank knew anything of Hagrid's absence, but the woman was bare on the subject, saying she'd simply been asked to fill in for an unspecified time, she'd agreed, and here they were.

Umbridge waved for her to start the class then, and they continued their work on bowtruckles as Umbridge went around the class and began asking students about magical creatures, to which no one gave a flawed answer. Harry at least felt hopeful none of them were letting Hagrid down.

Remus couldn't help but wince for that, thinking that was far more likely luck depending on the questions she was asking.

Then Umbridge circled back to Grubbly-Plank, asking how a new staff member felt here? Supported, or more ostracized from the everyday crowd.

Grubbly-Plank gave the simple answer she'd always felt welcomed here, never had a problem.

Umbridge looked politely incredulous,

"That she's the only one being treated like scum? Can't imagine why that would be," Sirius snorted.

"I'm sure that's a look," James snorted, his liking for Grubbly-Plank going up somewhat. Sure she was having to stand in for Hagrid, but at least she wasn't going behind his back and trying to rub up to Umbridge, he could respect that.

She then switched to asking of reports she had from injuries in this class, but Malfoy enthusiastically stepped in then, saying that was done to him, he was attacked by a hippogriff.

"At his own stupidity," James emphasized. "Everyone seems to skip that bit!"

Umbridge began almost happily jotting this down, while Harry shouted over at them it was because Malfoy was being too stupid to listen to Hagrid before it happened.

"Oh, thank you Harry," James groaned, that hadn't been what he meant at all.

Harry shrugged without remorse.

Umbridge turned a pleased smile on him as she gave him another week of detentions.

"What was that one even for?" Lily all but screeched. "Doesn't she still have to give a reason!"

Baby Harry began squirming in unease underneath his toy so she forced herself not to keep going while James pushed on, mostly because the answer was no, that woman didn't have to give a reason to anyone about anything she did. It was becoming quite clear that was the scariest part of all to look forward to.

That evening, despite the late hour, Harry did not return to the common room empty this time, but found Ron and Hermione waiting up for him. Hermione seemed anxious at his visage as she pushed a yellow bowl towards him, telling him it was essence of murtlap and it would help.

Harry wasn't quite sure what that was, but when he put his hand, that was bleeding freely, into it it soothed the pain at once.

Ron still tried to push Harry should tell someone about this, McGonagall would do something, but Harry still wouldn't hear it, pointing out next thing they knew there'd be a decree that the person who questioned Umbridge would get fired.

"That would still cause enough of a stir in the community for it to be relevant and absolutely worth it," James tried to keep his voice even as he explained to Harry. "McGonagall's tough as they come, even if she did have to leave for a time she'd be right back the next day because Dumbledore would never let that stand, and he'd have support from those realizing how ludicrous this all is getting."

"Please tell me you've been seeing reports in the Daily Prophet about more people saying what a problem this is," Lily agreed.

Harry just shrugged though, Hermione only passed along very certain things, and she hadn't said anything about this. If the wider wizarding world did care about what was going on, he wasn't hearing about it.

Ron tried to think of some way to argue, but then closed his mouth back.

Hermione hissed what an awful woman she was, they really should do something about her.

"Tie her to the Whomping Willow?" Sirius suggested at once.

"Transfigure her into a cat and introduce her to Fang?" James smirked.

"Introduce her to the mermaids of the Black Lake," Remus said just a touch bitterly.

"See how long she could survive in the Forbidden Forest," Harry envisioned the fun.

"Poison?" Lily couldn't seem to stop herself tacking in much to all the boys amusement.

Ron had suggested poison,

"Ha!" Lily pumped a fist in triumph, "two against you lot!"

"That's fair," Sirius miraculously gave in.

"Can it at least be a slow acting one?" James contended.

"I can work that," Lily agreed.

but Hermione said she'd meant something more practical about her horrid teaching habits, how they weren't learning any Defence this year.

"Well I mean, she's not wrong," Remus snorted.

"Yet I don't really see how that's so different from your first two years either," Sirius sighed.

Ron couldn't see a way around this, she had the job and that clearly wasn't changing any time soon.

"At least until the end of the year," Lily still looked for that bright spot.

Hermione shot Harry a nervous look before beginning to tell what she was thinking today,

"Should I be worried that's how this is starting?" James looked bemused as he kept going.

that they should just learn DADA themselves.

"That's really not that far fetched an idea," Remus shrugged, "we had to do it a few years as well. Our teachers never got to the level of trying to kill us mind you, but they weren't all stellar either."

"I don't know, remember Novak? Considering how many spells he used backfired on himself, I think at some point that counts as attempted murder when he still encouraged us to trust him," Lily shrugged.

Ron scoffed at the idea of doing more extra homework, they were already behind as is.

Hermione said this was more important than homework.

"Hang on," Sirius mimed cleaning out his ears, "alright read that bit again."

James ignored him.

The boys goggled at her saying such blasphemy, Ron insisting she'd always said homework was the most important thing in the universe!

Hermione brushed them off for being silly,

"She had yet to say otherwise," Harry rubbed at his ear at all her remembered lectures.

stating this was about learning to defend themselves from what was out there.

Harry looked honestly bemused Hermione had taken his words to heart like that, no matter how much he still vouched for them being true.

Ron still wasn't on the idea, saying sure they could look up jinxes and practice them, but-

"Just like you did at the end of last year," James agreed, "that seemed to help you out loads, even with a competent if murderous teacher."

but Hermione said it would be all the better if they had a teacher, someone who already knew a boat load of spells and could correct them if they were doing it wrong.

Harry began if she was talking about Lupin,

"Naw, you're the first teacher he thought of Moony," Sirius chuckled.

"Shut up Padfoot," Remus said around a smile.

but Hermione at once said that wouldn't work, he couldn't come around often enough to be of help.

"Not with that Umbridge woman about anyways," Lily said grimly, as it had honestly been a good idea for a moment for Dumbledore to summon him to the castle at his random choosing, and just incidentally running into Harry and his friends, for a few hours, no one in the school would really question that too much if it had worked out that way. That pink frosted lump of dragon dung though would put a wrench into anything like that.

Harry couldn't imagine who else she was talking about, but then she said him of course.

Harry looked at his dad in bewilderment, before looking at the other three who all looked just as surprised at the answer as him to his relief.

"Honestly, for a moment there I thought she was leading up to herself," James snorted.

"I mean, I suppose she's not got the wrong idea," Lily pulled gently on a strand of hair as she thought about it, "but no offense love, I haven't really seen you with the patience yet to be teaching anyone much."

"Ron was better at teaching you chess than you were explaining how a phone worked," Sirius snorted in agreement.

"Oh stop picking on him," Remus scolded, though Harry hardly looked offended, he still had a politely puzzled expression on his face like he was still nursing the idea and had hardly heard them. "I don't find it a bad idea at all, Harry was the only thirteen year old I've ever seen to manage a Patronus, even you two hadn't managed that until fifth year to find out what you were going to turn into only a few months later. If Harry could master that, I'm sure passing that knowledge along wouldn't be much of a challenge."

"There's a difference between being a good student and being as good a teacher," Sirius shrugged, but he backed down altogether as Harry was starting to look a little hurt they were still giggling more than anything at the idea.

James kept himself going in hopes Hermione would come to some conclusion this should be more a group effort between the three than Harry starting secret lessons to teach these two anything.

Harry was stunned at the idea, turning to Ron for some backup, but he seemed just as keen on this as Hermione now she'd pointed it out.

Harry began laughing it off, saying what good would he do, while Hermione said in exasperation to think of all he'd done.

"Really Harry, you apparently spent all summer complaining about this bit, but you need this part explained," James rolled his eyes.

When Harry still didn't get their meaning, Ron started to laugh he didn't want someone this stupid teaching him, before beginning loudly of all his accomplishments, like second year killing the Basilisk and Riddle.

Harry tried to interrupt that had been Fawkes and-

"I really am loving the reverse of this conversation," Sirius gave a forced smile. "How are you the one saying you shouldn't get credit for doing this now, when it was you shouting at them you did all this single handedly to them at that house?"

Harry was scarlet by now, both from remembered shock of his friends throwing this at him, and how true that comment was that put on the spot he still didn't want to admit all the things he'd done no matter how angry he'd been he'd felt ignored.

"Can't have it both ways," Lily told him gently as she seemed to read his mind.

Ron completely ignored him and was still going on, coming up with fourth year and everything he'd done there as well, he and Hermione were smirking by the end as Harry felt his temper rising, he wasn't even sure where the anger was coming from.

"Actually neither am I," James frowned lightly from the book to Harry now. "At most they're still pulling your leg, what's the anger for?"

Harry brushed at his scar without comment, a deep look in his eyes that shot a thrill of fear through James instantly promising him he actually didn't want to know the answer, so he quickly moved on.

He began telling them how he'd blundered through all that, not because he was any good at Defence, he'd always had help and- stop laughing at him!

Remus let out a low whistle of surprise as he told Harry, "when you get angry, you really ramp yourself right to the top at once."

"Harry doesn't do anything halfway," Sirius said halfheartedly, Harry leaning back into the couch looking miserable he'd been caught shouting at them again, and they hadn't done anything even remotely close to deserving it this time.

He lunged to his feet so fast he knocked the essence of murtlap away, now practically shouting at them they didn't understand, none of that had been skill when he'd fought Voldemort, that Cedric had been just as good as him and he'd died so if they were insinuating he'd messed up and Harry had somehow done something better-

James had winced at every blow Harry dealt his friends, of all the pain and fear his son had suffered without anyone there to help, how even hearing it first hand hadn't quite left them with the reality Harry had lived through. To them it was all in a distant future, something they hoped never had to happen to him and so without underplaying the events happening they kept pushing past these terrible moments because it would ultimately help him to remember them just to find a way he'd never have to live through them. Most of all, James wanted more than anything for Harry never to have to witness what had happened in that graveyard, to Cedric.

Ron looked aghast Harry had come to the conclusion they were having a go at Cedric.

Harry was aware, and very grateful no one had snapped at him for this in here. He distantly saw himself doing these things, pushed into this uncontrollable anger from something he didn't understand, but one truth stood out his friends would never insinuate any such thing, so he was grateful for the silence ringing in here.

Hermione was near tears now as she insisted this was exactly the reason they needed to learn, he was the only one who had ever faced V-Voldemort.

"Well there's a distraction if ever there was one," Sirius blinked slowly to refocus off of Harry's anger, how everything he'd said had been all too real.

It was the first time Hermione had ever said Voldemort's name, and for some reason this calmed Harry. He sat back in his seat, his hand now throbbing worse than ever and gazed at the broken glass and essence of Murtlap now seeping into the carpet.

Hermione got her feet as if to go to bed, quietly asking him to just think about it.

Lily opened her mouth, wanting to say something in comfort as well as push for a change of subject, but Harry was still looking miserable and rubbing hard at his scar again, so she was afraid to push him while he was too vulnerable.

Harry nodded silent agreement now as she went off to bed, Ron following suit. Harry repaired the bowl with a quick spell, but could do nothing for more medicine for his hand.

"Wonder how she got hold of that," Sirius happily shot off, as always just looking for something to say in the awkward silence.

"She's too proud asking the house-elves for a batch," Remus played along, "I more imagine she might have asked Madam Pomfrey for some, given a vague reason as to why she wanted it."

"I'll buy that," Sirius said, looking hopefully at Harry like he was hoping for confirmation, but even if he had ever bothered to ask Harry spoke nothing for or against the idea.

He was more exhausted now than when he'd stepped in, but still he forced himself to climb up the stairs rather than sleeping in the common room, and had another restless night of dreams full of locked corridors, and waking to his scar prickling again.

Harry twitched harder than ever in his seat, his eyes swimming with pain as he yearned to understand how it all fit together, and terrified of learning the answer.

HPHPHPHPHP

I probably came off pretty anti-government in this chapter, and I swear I'm not actually trying to whip up a rebellion and start an anarchy, I just always found it really extreme that clearly since it's conception Hogwarts seemed to have stood as it's own body, but suddenly the government was stepping in and causing a ton of reforms, and the public seems generally okay with this? Of course the Daily Prophet likely didn't post more outrage than a couple people quitting, I don't even know how it would have been put into the narrative, I'd just have liked to see more people be confused and angry about this sudden regime change going on inside the most popular wizarding school in Britain.

*I was actually never very good at English, I have no clue what the actual answer was, thank you for nothing four years of high school.

**I pointed this out in the last book, but this is now a blatant mismatch of the house tables. Last time it was the Hufflepuffs on their other side as Harry had to walk past them, this time it's Ravenclaws? Someone must have been right in saying it does switch up on a regular basis.

[hikari-writes]

What a fine morning again today! So good morning to you all :D

I had a scary nightmare just now and honestly remembering it made me 😭😭😱😱

So like, I dont remember the details but I was at some kind of party? And then there's the nekoma guys right? I remember there being the coach Nekomata and Yaku too. And there was another group but i don't remember who it was. And I somehow knew that the coach is someone evil, like, supernatural/paranormal kind of evil. Like he would kidnap(?) someone and turn them into an evil spawn, something like that.

The coach also trained them into powerful guys, like they mastered some kind of martial arts or something and power up their instinct, smthng like that so they're really hard to fight.

I (i *think* it was me who was in the dream? Im not sure) grabbed Yaku and was like, we need to get out of here. But as we were running Yaku's wrist/hand suddenly slipped from my grip (that or he was trying to grab his other mates so he needs to go back there) (also while he was separated from me, the coach approached him and turned him evil too) I just kept running and i SWEAR the tension was so high and i was so scared because, like, the other guys have already become spawn of the coach? (Or like, possessed? Im not sure but what I really know is that there are many people who are obviously not on my side looking at me as i tried to escape the place)

Also ssomehow the party was actually at my house? And when i went outside thhe front door, I quickly got to the gate and open it but guess what? The car key is in the house bithch. I HAD to go inside again.

So i went inside, idk how i even got the courage to do so. But when i took the key from the table, i saw Yaku (i think? I dont rlly rmmbr) and was like, i saw how dangerous he had been but dumbass me FOR SOME REASON, wanted to pick a fight with this evil yaku (even though he was completely just staring intently at me and wasnt really making any move so supposedly i could just run the heck away from there.)

So,, yeah in the end i kinda fought with him,,, but obviously i was overpowered. I cant remember the details next, but i think i also got turned into evil? Also i remembered nearing the end of the dream, THEN it was revealed that the coach trained the guys to be powerful as his evil spawns.

So....yeah, it was scary. And it was my first time dreaming about yaku too urgh,, cant believe i got a nightmare..... (must've been because i just finished the nekoma vs karasuno practive match part or smthng)

If youve reached this point, i wanna ask YOU, what's the scariest nightmare you had? After that, i may will do another post asking about your cutest dreams uwu

[takaraphoenix]

HELLO SWEETHEART! (^_^) For the fanfiction ask game, can you answer 2,9,12,17,45, and 51??? 💜💝

Aw, babe, thanks for playing! ^o^ <3

2. What is your latest fandom?

Huuuh good question. When was the last time a show dragged me into its fandom... I really do think that’d be Arrowverse’s Kanvers. Kate and Kara really had me highly excited and hooked and dragged me into writing, reading and engaging with fanart and posts and GIFs about them and while it’s gotten a tiny bit dormant - as things usually do when a show goes into break - it’s still there.

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

Well, if we do go by that definition of current as in “not that long-term thing you been obsessing over for years, shut up about that for a second and talk about the shiny, new and current thing”, I’d say that would then be effectively the Supergirl/Arrowverse fandom.

My favorite thing right now about that is my Supergirl Discord server with delightful, wonderful people on it to talk about all the things? I haven’t been involved in a fandom in this way in too many years, to actually talk about the thing itself, outside of fanfiction, with a group of people. It’s a lot of fun.

I also love how wlw heavy the fandom is - both in fans and in content because sooo many good wlw ships! Where other fandoms usually have the wlw as like... a sidenote. And I mean both in canon and in fanon here.

I actually have multiple wlw ships to enjoy in the screen in the Arrowverse and there is shiny art and fics about them in the fandom.

12. Who is your current OT3?

Current... mmmh... well, I’d say my most current OT3 would then be Cat/Kate/Kara I suppose. I put one of those onto my list for Writer’s Month and I am very excited to explore it.

Though I also put Nyssa/Felicity/Oliver on it and that is also something I am heavily obsessed with currently but due to the nature of not technically being a whole OT3 - what with Nyssa being a lesbian and her and Oliver not being a thing and this being more of a “Felicity has two hands” situation - I’m unsure if I’d count it for this.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

The first OTP. That would be Seiya/Usagi from Sailor Moon, that was like “wow this is such a beautiful romance I love them!” (and then canon broke my heart, naturally). And... considering I am following an incredibly gifted and talented artist for this ship specifically still (go check out @marmaladica, truly the art is sooo beautiful), I’d say my love for them never wavered.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

I don’t... have one. I have a very bad memory. I used to have that but by now it’s just been way too long since I even last looked back at it so I wouldn’t even know - also the story was abandoned many years ago, which broke my heart back then. That was Detective Conan.

I also had this monster Glee fic that I loved over the moon and worshipped.

But... all time favorite implies “still going strong” and I don’t really have one of those, I mostly moved on from these fandoms.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

I wish it’d not be as taken for granted. I also wish more reviewers were - braver. So often I read really cute comments that then end on “I’ll shut up now sorry for the rant” like no please continue on with this rant I love being ranted at about what you enjoy about my fic?

I feel like for many readers the perception on us authors is wrong. Like, someone will comment on a years old fic with “I know this is old but I wanted to say I loved it” like - sure I posted it years ago but I still love to hear that it is still bringing joy to someone and I have a hard time imagining any author would scoff and go “urgh comments on the old stuff, who cares”.

Being told that a fic is appreciated and more so being told what about the fic is being appreciated are so great and would go a long way in making fandom creators feel more appreciated.

Because that is a current problem and not just for fic writers, GIF makers and artists too. Many fandoms just... consume and give back too little appreciation and it’s a shame, because that appreciation is vastly motivating for any creator.

Fanfiction Questions

[sometimesrosy]

1. I know you don’t participate in fandom stuff really, but I just had to tell you that I saw your recent, brilliant post about B/E/C and s7 floating around Twitter and lots of people are LOVING it and saying how smart and insightful it is. It made me excited to see that; I’m a big fan of yours! Some are of course also saying they don’t have faith in Jason like you do/that he’s not smart enough as a writer to pull all of that off (that fandom Jason hate, man. I get it, he’s been a bit

urgh in press/Twitter, but that doesn’t mean his work won’t fulfill what it’s been building up for 6 seasons now... maybe he’s a prick, idk, but he clearly puts a lot of pride in his story/art and I don’t think it’ll be another GoT ending as some in fandom are bracing themselves for. I really don’t. Just Just separate his press from his work and focus on the story, and life will be so much easier, lol). They keep saying all you said was so smart/makes so much sense. You’re being ‘stanned’ there.

I love to see it. You’re being ‘stanned’ on there, lol. I love to see it. I feel like you put so much thought and effort into your posts, and you deserve all the love and positivity in the world. The doubters/antis that contact you are so frustrating (love the sizzling sass you respond to them with, btw). You are not up Jason’s butt. You’re literally all about the STORY, the CANNON, what you SEE on screen. It’s like in their heads, they know you’re making sense. But then you can see how fandom

fears/dialogues can just totally dominate good, sound logic. It’s so interesting. Haha, this was a post purely meant to tell you other people are recognizing your brilliance and how exiting it was, but the psychology of shipper/fandom culture got me ruminating. So sorry. 😆 Just so you know...I ‘stan’ you too, Rosy. 😉❤️ Thanks for all your work!

+++

Oh really? Ok. That’s good to know. I’m glad it was positive instead of negative because that’s mean. And I’m glad that they LIKE a positive bellarke post instead of bellarke hate or jason hate or the 100 hate. It’s not surprising that they “don’t have faith in jason,” or think he’s “not smart enough” to pull off the story that... I am showing is already IN the canon by using evidence FROM the canon to show that Jason is telling us.

Not trusting JR is one thing. It comes from his TERRIBLE social media presence. Now no one believes what he says and worse, they think everything he says is evil bad and anti bellarke. Which is not true. He messed up and now his reputation is bad, but if you pay attention to what he says outside of what people say about him, you’d see what he says is NOT always bad. But, I still don’t trust what he says and I take everything with a grain of salt and compare it against the canon. Because the canon IS what matters.

And frankly, I think Jason has proved he IS trustworthy where the story is concerned. He doesn’t always give fans what they want, but that’s actually good. It means he stays true to his story. And if that makes him an egotists, then so be it, but it’s also better for the story. Too many cooks spoil the pot. Allowing fans into the writing room and fanservicing them too much spoils the story.  I get also that people don’t trust hollywood because of Star Wars or GOT or whatever disappointing show. Fair enough. But again, following the story that JR is telling, I’m not getting those hints that he’s going to flip on us. His style of storytelling, while it does use plot twists does not betray the story. As long as you’re following canon and have been paying attention to HIS story and not your story in your head. That is the trick though, since fandom says your OTP is the center of the story and your fave character is the main character-- which is a MISinterpretation of the story. If you erase the story to fit your fanon, the error is yours, not his. Killing your favorite character is not a betrayal of the story, it’s part of HIS story. All the characters he’s killed were part of his story, helped develop the themes or main character development or plot or were a result of their own terrible choices. 

When people think he’s to stupid to do what I point out he’s already doing... well, that’s not actually someone you want to listen to about analysis. That’s people who are speaking from PURE ego. They think they’re smarter and more savvy than JR. When you put yourself above the content you supposedly love, that makes you a jackass. If you love it, you have no need to call it trash or tear it apart, or call the writers bad writers.

As far as I can see, this story is generally well written. Is it perfect? Of course it isn’t. No story is. The characters are great. The stories are full of tension and emotion and meaning. We FEEL for the characters. Yes horrible things happen. That’s the story and not a sign that it’s bad. Yes it repeats stories, that’s a STYLE of storytelling, circular, and not a sign that it’s bad, but instead, when done right, offers a feeling of inevitability and completion that is hard to beat. Is the science bad? Oh yes, it is, but that is not uncommon for the tv genre that doesn’t have an audience of hardcore sf geeks.  You’ve got to let that go, suspend your disbelief and just have fun. If you can’t you’ll never like the genre. 

Would you treat a fanfiction writer the way we treat JR? If you did, it would be horrible. If you go in there and tell the writer that their story is wrong because you want your OTP to do this and this character should die and this character should live and omg they are bad writers how dare? That would make YOU the reader, into a big freaking creep. Let people tell the stories they want to tell. If you don’t like their stories, you vote with your freaking feet. Leave. If you like some of the story and not the rest, you can make peace with that. If your dislike outweighs your like then stop watching. It doesn’t matter that this is a professionally written and produced show not a fanfic. You still don’t own it. The writers don’t actually work for you. They aren’t your servants. They create a product which you then consume or do not consume. 

Anyway. Thanks for the warning. I know you weren’t warning me, but in my experience, whenever someone posts something of mine on twitter, I get a fresh influx of hate as the haters remember I exist and they can’t allow me to exist without telling me how evil and delusional I am for doing lit analysis on a show they want to hate. 

[drakewalkerisreal]

Chapter 10: Thoughts are free to go anywhere

Amour Sans Fin

Note from writer:I apologize to all regular readers of Amour Sans Fin for disappearing. I was really sick and wasn't able to write.I promise to post regularly from now on.

The chapter contains mention of sexual abuse and violence. So its strictly not for under 18.

This chapter will be more of Riley's POV than Drake's.

Drake’s POV

Waking up can be really harsh, especially if your dreams are better than reality. The saddest part of it is, that eventually even the memory of your dream will fade. If you are even lucky enough to remember, then you're left with this lonely feeling of detachment, the only proof that you ever had the dream.

I half wonder if I'm still dreaming as I sit up to take in the shafts of light that burst through the gaps of the blinds. Now I'm awake, perhaps more fully awake than I've ever been. There is no sign of another person. As usual.

Mostly I get up early morning for jogging. Suddenly I remembered the events of last night and what I was dreaming about. I didn’t realize that I was smiling the whole time. I kissed her. Not in real but in my dream. We were kissing like crazy on the stone stairs. She was clinging to me and my fingers were roaming in her hair. She smelled like roses. My palms travelled down her body on both sides and rested at her waist. She moaned. She kissed me as if it was her first, like no man had ever kissed her, soft and moist and hot and breathy, not trying to win a battle but seeking union and closeness and the sharing of one breath, one sensation, one timeless and passionate moment. The heat rose in her cheeks as my tongue touched her tongue, quick and electric and delicious. My palms were cupping her ass cheeks now. I pulled her even closer to me.

A knock on the door woke up to reality. It was just a dream. Nothing like this has happened previous night but I danced with her. Yes, I danced with her.

I dragged my body to door.

“Morning Drake” It was Bastien. “I thought you would be awake already. Didn’t get up for jogging?”

No, I was awake late last night coz I was feeding Liam’s suitor and a few seconds ago my tongue was battling with hers in my thoughts before you barged in.

“Umm. Last night was tiring” I replied lazily.

“Yeah, Dancing can be tiring sometimes” He said straight.

I searched for any hint of sarcasm in his voice but found nothing.

“Liam wants you to get ready. We are leaving for Palace in half an hour”

“Okay. I go” I shrugged.

I got ready and reached the Patio. Everybody was ready to get back. Regina and Constantine were making announcements for Royal Regatta tomorrow. It is Ceremonial Boat Race where Liam’s suitors will have to lead a boat to win a race. My eyes searched for her. She was talking to Penelope and Kiara; throwing her hands like a kid. I suddenly realized that I was staring at her like a hungry man. Suddenly her eyes met mine and she smiled. Before, I can give any reaction she continued talking with them again.

I definitely need some art of living class, man! Sometimes, I even forget to greet with smile. Fuck!

Suddenly Liam clapped at my shoulder. I hope he didn’t notice that I was staring at his favourite suitor. And that too like a pervert.

Riley’s POV

Its been more than a month since Maxwell literally took me to this fairyland. Who expected something like this to happen when your life is most usual and common in every sense? I was not sure at first about my decision to join this mad race but finally I thought what worse can happen?

My life is already shittier than I have ever expected. I still don’t believe that I am out of reach of Luke. I don’t want to see him again in my life. I don’t want to get into any relationship serious or casual in near future. I have had enough. I never thought that a causal relationship would have hurt me this amount. Not just physically but mentally.

May be nobody was there to guide me all this time what to look in a boyfriend. I was so naïve and childish. That’s why all of this happened with me. He did all that to me and I was not brave enough to come out of it.

As soon as Maxwell invited me to compete for Prince’s hand, past few years swirled in my mind. How my parents almost abandoned me. How I earned in worst conditions to at least feed my hunger? How I completed my college without any family support? How I met Luke? How relationship with him turned into an ugly face? How he used to beat me in alone or in front of his cronies? How sex has become less pleasure and became more painful with him?

Finally, I accepted Maxwell’s invitation and went away with it. It was not very ideal meeting with Cardonian men at my work place. Yet I can’t deny they are handsome people. Maxwell looked nice and funny. Tariq was fussy, yet he looked stylish. Liam was most gentle person of all. And there he was, Drake. The angry head-- Mr Grumpy. He mostly keeps it to himself. He looks like those men who keep girls at their arm’s length and are arrogant. Although I like bulky and tall man but I always had problem with such attitude. When I changed into that green dress, he accidently said 'wow' and then made a face like I am not even worth praising. What attitude??

I took them to beach. Liam enjoyed it. Maxwell was funny and humorous. Drake’s attitude annoyed me there too. I reckon he didn’t like me talking to Liam. I ignored him. But I wonder how can someone hate me even in very first meeting.

Maxwell called me next morning. He explained me the whole thing and expected me to answer over call. He explained there will be no problem as Cardonia offers Visa on arrival. He promised to arrange everything. Finally, I said yes. Let’s go with it.

Atleast I will be away from Luke and he won’t be able to find me. I didn’t even inform about it to anyone except Daniel. He is the only friend whom I can trust. There was no family I needed to inform. Nobody cares.

I packed my stuff hurriedly. I ran to chase the airplane. It was first time that I travelled on a private airplane.

Drake was on plane too which annoyed me to hell. When Maxwell told me that why he invited me Cardonia, Drake’s reaction was most snarky. Dude! what have I done to you. He tried to frighten me with all the possible warnings. Huh!! I already had enough and became tough. I won’t be getting hurt easily.

Maxwell supported me all the time. I already started liking him. I hope Liam will be like him and not Drake.

Finally, Drake got busy in his music and Maxwell explained me everything about Cardonia on the way.

I looked at him while sleeping. This man looked ruggedly handsome who is now sleeping peacefully. He has tousled brown hair. Does he behave same with every girl or I am his special choice of hatred?

He must be thinking that I am here for Liam’s money. Yes. Money is worth a thing when you don't have much yet I seek a peaceful life.

Somewhere inside I always wanted a family. With Luke, I behaved like an independent girl because he wanted me to capture and keep in his cage. When I was with him most of the boys don’t even try to pursue me. He has reputation of badass. I always pretended to be independent and carefree. Inside, I want someone to take care of me, to look for me, to protect me. I always imagined a knight in shining amour who will come and rescue me from all this mess. But fairytales won’t happen in real.

First event of the social season was Masquerade ball where all suitors were introduced. Maxwell ensured that my entry was at least sophisticated. They called me ‘Lady Riley Brooks from New York’.

Nobody called me with such a formal name before. It’s not very common in New York. I doubt most of the people around me in New York didn’t even know my last name.

I entered the main hall in the dress that Beaumont brothers provided me with. That was a white mermaid style dress which hugged me perfectly. Bertrand wished me to wear mask but I refused to wear any. At first, I didn’t find any known face in the main hall. It felt very awkward without any acquaintance here.

Where is Maxwell when I need him the most.

Suddenly, I saw Drake standing in the blue formal shirt.

Oh, this person knows how to look like a gentleman.

Since I didn’t know anyone else, I moved to him and he behaved as charming as ever and lashed me with his snarky comments.

Urgh!! he was so annoying and called me ‘Kid’. I spotted Hana and went to her. She is a savior. Hana is the sweetest girl here.

Then, there was Olivia who was so rude that I can consider Drake sweet over her. She tried to play prank and embarrass me on my very first night. I escaped it narrowly.

I was looking for Liam as I was eager to know his reaction. He was really sweet to me in New York. I hoped I didn’t disappoint him here. It’s not that I like him but he seems to be nice guy and, after all, he is a king.

When Liam saw me, he looked amazed. He was so polite and humble, just too good for me. I know he is interested in me. He asked me to join in the balcony. I am not looking forward for a relationship but yes, it was hard to say no to Liam. When I walked to the balcony, he was already waiting for me. I bowed to him but he made me comfortable. He looked handsome as ever and was dressed up perfectly. I enjoyed talking to him. Even if our relationship doesn’t go well, we can be good friends.

Next day was Derby event. Maxwell and Bertrand drove me to Honey Hills down in their Limo. I never sat in a Limo before. As a matter of fact, I never owned a car.

As soon as I entered the place, the press reporters gathered around me and bombarded me with their questions. I was nervous at first but I knew I have nothing to lose so I went on with the questions. They surprisingly liked me. They already knew that I have met Liam somewhere else before and eager to know about it.

Maxwell told me to look for the tents so I went on the expedition to find one. But I accidently found myself in a horse stable. I thought, I could ask someone which is the way to tents. I called but no one replied. Suddenly I turned back and found a horse moving towards me. Shit. The horse looked so angry at me as if I have breached his territory.

I was unable to think of anything and moved a few steps back which made me fall in a stack of hay. I was terrified with the idea of losing at least my one or two bones. Suddenly someone came between the horse and me. Is he?

He led the horse towards his stall, then offered me his hand to get up.

Am I in the parallel universe? Drake Walker saved me from a horse and offering me his hand.

I said thanks to him for saving me. I was still terrified but yeah, I am back in the real world. He told me that he was saving the horse.

What’s up with him? Mr. Grumpy!!

I wondered what was he doing here all by chance. Drake told me that Liam asked him to look out for me. Liam is a real gentleman. Wow!! I like how much he’s concerned.

Drake led me to the tents and I thanked him once again. Even if he was told by Liam but it’s true that he saved me and I could get really hurt if he wasn’t there.

Derby event was all about fancy nobles gathered together and boasting about their wealth. Maxwell told me before that Drake hated these noble due to these show offs and hypocrite behavior. I could understand the feeling now. Being a commoner it’s hard to survive here.

Next, we had to go for the tea party picnic. Such events are too weird for a New Yorker. Maxwell told me that press is calling me ‘Mysterious woman from New York’. These people can really make a hill out of mole. I don’t think there is anything mysterious about me. Hell, yeah it sounds cool.

I saw all the girls gathering around queen Regina. She looked like a complex lady. If such woman becomes my mother-in-law, I’ll be doomed for sure.

There was some blonde girl with her. Hana told me she is Madeleine and she almost won Leo’s hand before he abdicated the throne. How unfortunate?? But she looked so creepy in a way.

Finally, I met Regina. It’s curious that Regina doesn’t look like Liam at all. She asked me some questions to check my wit and I knew I impressed her. Seeing me talking to Regina, Liam joined us. I knew that he wants me to go well with Regina.

It was pleasant conversation till Madeleine joined. This woman is really cruel as she seems at prima facie. It looked like I have to tackle one more to survive. She embarrassed me for being a commoner in a subtle way that neither Liam nor Regina seemed to noticed it. I didn’t know that they ignored it intentionally or people don’t mind such petty things here. I looked around the crowd for Maxwell or Hana. My eyes met Drake. He was looking directly at me. It looked like he was trying to understand what’s going on here.

Urge! Does he care? Obviously, No.

Maybe he wanted to tell me that he is right about this place and his dire warnings are justified now.

Everybody sat for snacks served. I was too hungry that I can eat them all. Drake was again fussy about the place and I taunted him well. I was amused to see that everybody agreed with me that he and fun doesn’t go together. I gave him the winning smile.

Don’t mess with me Walker.

Enough of all the formal events, I proposed to go for drinks and to my surprise Drake agreed immediately. Liam and Hana were confused about it but finally agreed to go. Maxwell found a nearby American style bar named “Sehnsucht’.

It was all dark when we entered the place. Suddenly we looked up and saw discarded bras, underwear and old bike parts hanging from the ceiling. Hana and I looked at each other with wide eyes. I never imagined such place in Cardonia and that too I’ll go there with some foreigner man I didn’t knew a week ago.

I accidently looked at Drake and he blushed. I never knew he is shy kind of guy.

Maxwell was excited as usual for a new adventure. I am sure, Liam never have visited such place before. He is a total gentleman type of guy.

Drake volunteered to get the drinks. I offered to go with him as I wanted to check out the drink’s menu. We ordered some beer from the menu. Drake immediately was up for paying. Although I don’t have much in my card but I am not such girl who let boys pay all the time. However, Drake didn’t let me pay.

Finally, I breathed and asked him why he hates me. This was the first time and I looked him in his eyes.

He has brown eyes with a hint of golden.

He said that he is too straightforward that’s why people can’t handle it and found him rude. I reckon he was genuine in his reply.

In the conversation, I got to know that he’s half American. That was a real surprise. But this man is annoying as hell. He must be only two or a few years older than me and was already calling me kid.

Apart from this, the night went like crazy. Everybody enjoyed it. I loved the look on face of Liam and Hana as they must not get much any chances to get high like this. The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. This drinking session gave me the idea that I can have some of the best buddies here and finally can have freedom.

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