#ure not allowed to curse me on this one bc its very personal ok

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

"hero" from ghost quartet for m2🤨

[anachronistic-falsehood]

HIIII HI HI IM OFFICIALLY CAUGHT UP ON DREAMSTUCK AGAIN HELL YES. GOOD SHIT. ok now bc it is on my mind. i am DYING to know ur classpect thoughts on judt. everybody. handing u a free pass to ramble. u dont have to do all of them bc thats a lot but if u have favorites 👁👁 i am looking

OUGGOHIGIG WELLLL IF U INSIST

ok ok. jack. motherfucking manifold. likeeee cjack drives me insane i hope u know that idk what crack he put into his silly little minecraft rp character but it drives me insane. pages lack their own aspect/concepts related to their aspect right. cjack died so many times but it just NEVER STICKS. he wicks it off like its nothing. he’s miserable yes but nothing will ever give him the relief of dying. ds!jack is going to suffer that same fate. “Those bound to the aspect of Doom are fate's chosen sufferers. At their worst, they are bitter, resentful, and fatalistic.” CAN YOU HEAR MEEEEE!!! I’m so going to lean into the “Fate’s chosen sufferer” thing later on in the story. it’s killing me. cursed to keep living no matter what happens, even if death would be preferable. yeagh

also ummm. witch of breath hannah. channah has had her autonomy taken from her by the egg, by her wings burning and leaving her ground-bound, and breath is all about freedom. i want her to take it back yk. i want her to snatch her freedom from the universe and be able to DO THINGS. ds!hannah is going to be pushed and pulled in a thousand different directions until she snaps. the hand that feeds her is also the one that hits her and she’s going to bite it. i want her to go fucking feral

KNIGHT OF HOPE CPUFFY. HELLO. do u remember is dsmp when eret decided to make a faction against the egg and named it the knights of hope and puffy was one of them. puffy also used to be one of eret’s knights way back in the beginning as well LIKEEE. shes constantly trying to protect people she’s defensive she helps people she pours her entire being into the things she cares about. she’s so knight coded. there’s no other class for her i think. also the fact that it’s always eret who she’s the knight of. something something the unbreakable relationship between the space player and the knight who helped breed the genesis frog and the universe being built from their two hands etc etc. also remember her during the banquet after cfoolish was killed. i think if cpuffy had been allowed to shine during lore more like that she could have either fucked shit up or maybe fixed the entire server ngl. she’s THAT powerful i think. genuinely. she was so determined to make things better and if she’d been allowed to she could have gone down two paths: knocked some sense into everyone and rallied them all against a common enemy (cdream) and gotten rid of the biggest problem on the server, or snapped and set off the nukes herself in a wave of unbridled frustration. a knight of hope is a very powerful thing yk. and if cpuffy couldn’t reach her full potential in dsmp then BY GOD I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN IN DREAMSTUCK.

i feel like it would b a crime if i didn’t talk about. cWilbur. my little prospit dreamer destructive heart player meow meow <3 like u know how he is. he hates himself more than anything. he’s obsessed with himself. he knows he made something beautiful and amazing but also he thinks every single problem ever is his fault. he can’t stand himself. he regrets everything he’s ever done but if he did things differently maybe he wouldn’t be the same person he is now and that thought both elates him and terrifies him. dirk imploded with self hatred, and wilbur EXPLODES with it. he destroys other things with the contradicting force of his own identity. he dies and comes back RIGHT. but also wrong. very wrong. but it’s also the best he’s felt in decades. yk. he’s a walking juxtaposition and that’s so incredibly heart player of him.

ok ok this is getting long so i’m going 2 leave it at them for now. honourable mentions for classpects that drive me crazy go to: csam thief of heart, which makes me want to gnaw on plywood; ctechno prince of rage, because AUGH AIOAUBAIGH AISHkgGHH HRGHNGBGNNHN; cbad prince of blood, because oh my god. ohhhh my goD oh my god; and cponk sylph of mind, because urnghnghn *sounds of me chewing on styrofoam*

[cosmosrival]

👀 Does Kama like to peg Ash? 👀

u know what... ? u know what ?

KamAsh headcanons (AND NSFW HEADCANONS) time!!!!!! i don’t care anymore i had fun writing the kama*master ones 

so have these !!!!! might also become a character analysis and trivia because i cannot stay consistent when im talking about them !!!!

reminder bfore i start: ITS FINAL ASCENSION KAMA. NOT THE OTHERS. 

ok we’re good now

i think kama tops by default in every relationship they’re in, but their true strength resides in the fact that they are vers. and i believe that ash is ALSO vers. because flustered kama is a luxury and super cute and delicious and BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT LET YOUR GOD OF LOVE TOP YOU ???? ARE YOU SURE ??? YOU WOULDNT LET URSELF BE PAMPERED BY UR GOD ? ARE U REALLY SURE ?

ash is very cute because he’s gap moe, his respect for parvati shows that he’s not just a rage machine and can very much think normally like ur regular gold hearted delinquent anime boy !!!! god i Love him... anyway, i think he respects kama enough to look out for them and worship them like a proper God!! i believe that ash would call kama things like ‘your divinity’, ‘your grace’ (and if u have some jp knowledge, i think he’d add “-sama” to their name) because they... are god? (i think arjuna and karna also call them like this !! polite mahabharatan warriors are good boys)

since ash never married in the epic, i like to think that it’s because he was very much focused on his duty and ALSO because his participation in the war was out of loyalty towards king dhritarashtra and hastinapur so he was... perhaps planning on getting married once the war Ends ??? HE WAS OUT THERE FIGHTING !!!!!!! but we all know what happened to him (sheds a tear) 

anyway i think he’d be a bit of a masochist. (the room falls silent and you all look at me)

SORRY THAT WAS VERY HARDCORE ALL OF A SUDDEN but hear me out, FIRST OF ALL this man was able to endure an immortality curse until lord krishna eventually decided to free him so he’d join the throne and SECOND OF ALL, in his interlude he speaks of looking for ways to repent because he regrets what he’s done. and since we’re kinky over here, i’m gonna throw gentle femdom in the mix bc i think it fits them and its cute. especially because kama is literally the best person he could apologize to. and the only person who’d make his repentance pleasurable (because its their mcfreakin talent !!!!!) even if it technically wasnt his fault, i think his need to atone would just... overpower that and he’ll want to do anything kama wants, just to earn a crumb of forgiveness (without being desperate about it because... HES GOT AN EGO STILL, COME ON)

i like to think that he’s tried to apologize properly before... in a tense moment when they’re both more calm and alone. but kama stopped him because it’d just make things worse. if kama loses the need to have a grudge, will they even be useful as a servant anymore ? would they forgive themself for being so lenient ? forgiving their murderer’s protégé when they havent even had proper revenge ? kamadeva might have been a benevolent god before, but now they’re a lot more malicious (mara...) and this pointless anger would just make them look like an idiot (because servant shiva doesnt exist (YET?)). and i think ashwatthama would understand. 

so he won’t say the words “i’m sorry” because it’d just hurt them. 

THO WILL HE STOP LOOKING OUT FOR THEM AND SPOILING THEM ? no he will not

kama would find him interesting because he’s perfect bullying fodder but as i said before, it doesn’t work on ash. HE’S A WARRIOR ??? A CURSED IMMORTAL ? DO U THINK THAT PETTY PRANKS LIKE THE ONES KAMA DOES WOULD AFFECT HIM ? “are you bored ?” he asks while they’re trying to surprise him from behind and jumpscare him, without even turning to face them. kama groans in defeat.

SEDUCTION DOESNT WORK ON HIM EITHER AND THATS SO FUNNY but thats where it becomes subtle, he grows attached to them because they’ve gotten used to eachother’s presence (and strength in battle... small things like that). love can be born out of simple things!! blatant bimbo seduction doesn’t work on him but when he comes to wake kama up, and they’re too lazy to get up or float and groggily order him to lean forward so they can hold onto his shoulders so he’ll lift them up when he straightens himself is...

he’d find it cute. they’re cute. when they reach the cafeteria it’s still quite early and he already knows what they like to eat and get their plate ready for them while they’re waking up and yawning. god... they’re cute... its so subtle and cute...

......ok time to be horny !!! (TOMATOES GET FLUNG AT ME)

i think that they’d reach this stage after a while, when kama just gives up on bothering him cuz he’s annoyingly strong (and ganesha is more fun to bother anyway) and since they’re around eachother very often, kama would grow comfortable around him. same for ashwatthaman ! they’re very nice to be around when they’re calm and just chillin. 

the only teasing kama hasn’t tried on him is being openly horny and come onto him, asking him things about himself. and ash revealing that he’s never done these sorts of things before (HES A LIL MAD CUZ ITS EMBARRASSING ... DAMN... !!!), i think it’d give kama ideas. I MLAUGHING TYPING THIS BC I DIDNT THINK OF HOW THEY’D COAX HIM INTO GETTING NAUGHTY YET AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD PORN INTRO AHHHHHHHHHHH

ok yeah like i said i didnt think of the coaxing yet but knowing ash, kama could turn it into a competition and make fun of him a little and he’s ready to go. arrogant dummy. 

he’s polite but his arrogance is a charm point because he’ll def want to prove himself to the god of carnal love. imagine kama’s reaction when he actually outfucks them.

HONESTLY ? I BELIEVE HIS WARRIOR STAMINA WOULD JUST BE INCREASED ONCE HE BECAME A SERVANT. AND KAMA WAS NEVER A WARRIOR theyre a lavish and lazy god.

BUT THEIR EGO IS WOUNDED and their shocked reaction is cute and ash wants to keep holding them for a little longer

their sessions genuinely feel like hatefucking at first since they’re both weirdly competitive like that but then, guilt hits and kama feels like an idiot because they just came onto someone thats supposedly their enemy??? and they’re a bit distant in the aftermath, they almost... look a little shy. 

ashwatthaman isnt beating himself over it as much as they are tho. it felt good, he got to see a new side of them he never thought he’d get to see so intimately and... he outfucked God :) SO HE IS PROUD. but looking at them lying there, breathless and looking all sad worries him. so i can see him leaning forward and spooning them, holding their hand and kissing their fingers and it’s such a soft gesture, kama stutters and asks “Where.. where did you learn to do that.” and seeing their reaction, Ash blushes as well and explains that he saw his father kiss his mom’s hand once???? AND ITS... SUCH A CUTE AND OBVIOUS REASON. kama feels dumb for asking but it makes them chuckle. 

and i think seeing someone who constantly looks so tired and depressed, have a genuine little chuckle would melt ash right there. i think he’ll want to see more. 

AND FROM THAT POINT ON, i think kama would also get used to this... intimacy they start to share. when he wraps his arms around them he always hugs them in this protective way, as if he wanted to shield them from something. and when he holds them like that, they always feel the need to wrap their legs around his waist, hide their face against his neck and Allow him to cuddle them.

they both have an ego u know aha. so if u openly ask them about eachother, they’ll get embarrassed and shut u down. IT’S... IT’S NOT LIKE THAT (sweats)

it is. it is like That. 

ANYWAY THEYRE BOTH VERY VERSATILE and ash is pretty much into everything kama could teach him about. like i said earlier, he’s also fine with being manhandled, mostly the feeling of kama’s nails gently pressing against his skin, or being bit. i think he’d be into getting a lil feral.

a mutual once said that sexually liberated ashwatthama is hot as hell and i feel it in my bones.... kama coming onto him after a particularily short mission that got ash angry but not enough to let out some steam --> they get pounded into the mattress and they live for it because riling him up when he’s like that is actually really fun.

OBSESSED WITH THE BOTH OF THEM SLOWLY SEEING IT AS A GAME AFTER A WHILE... 

OH ash bottoming is also very cute. his first times would be awkward but kama is a pro at this anyways and i’m finally going to answer ur ask: YEAH HE GETS PEGGED !!!!! he finds out how excited he gets when kama calls him a good boy !!! and he never knew that he was into these sorts of things but holy shit it feels nice.

when kama gives him his first blowjob he almost loses his mind

what i really love about kama is that they can see how tense he gets, even if he’s having a great time, and i know they’d teach him how to relax. EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RIDING HIM, they’ll massage his pecs and his shoulders, set the pace and squeeze down on him just to hear him moan. stare at his surprised little face because he didn’t know he could make THAT kind of nois e ? ? ? ? ?

HE’S EMBARRASSED but he doesn’t want them to stop

OH YEAH i wanna come back on the whole masochist thing (I GET SNIPED), him getting repentance and being punished through sex is both very liberating and hot as hell, especially when it’s kama. ashwatthaman moaning ‘your divinity’ like it’s a prayer is also hot as hell !!!!!!! IDK i just think that they can both get very intense, and also last a while, until they’re thoroughly SPENT.

...and leave room for softness. kama gently brushing his wet hair behind his ear, leaving him breathless and a little shy. they then lean in to kiss him and he immediately melts into their touch. but then they bite his lip. and he ... he Likes it but he could almost pout.

time to get a little angsty (i lock gazes with you) i think that after a long while of sharing such a relationship, ash would almost say The Forbidden Words in a daze. and kama deeply kisses him so he stays quiet. and they’re just staring at eachother, until kama tells him that he’s not allowed to say it. and if he does, it’ll almost be a betrayal towards shiva AND themself. they’ve grown impossibly close but neither of them can say Those Words because they both feel like they’ll break something.

also bc they both have huge egos.

but i think that deep down they really want to say them. 

another variant of this is kama wanting to make him admit it, have him say Those Words. but because of his blessing and respect towards lord shiva, he cannot. both because of the guilt and that it’d end up feeling like a lie, even if his touches, his kisses and the way he looks at kama screams otherwise.

BUT REE WHAT ARE THE FORBIDDEN WORDS

"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" Hercules (1997).

is this enough of a clue ;;);)););;;))))))) HAAHA

THEY HAVE SO MANY LAYERS TO THEM ITS UNREAL

anyway shower sex hot !! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i also think that them mutually jerking eachother off is hot as all hell and ONCE AGAIN, flustered ash who doesn’t know what he’s doing (at first) is cute !!!! cute !!

ashwatthaman LEARNING from kama is also a big fave. they’re abt to bathe in kama’s luxurious bathtub they had master buy for them and they’re removing their earrings and he silently leans forward and bites their ear and suddenly their face is red. god. huge dummy god of love. i love them soooo much its unreal

THEIR DYNAMIC IS BASICALLY.. I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE but still look at eachother like they’re newlyweds everytime they get intimate and (sheds a tear) i think theyre super married

GOOD GOD .......BODY WORSHIP IS SOMETHING THEYRE BOTH HEAVILY INTO ALSO. both giving and receiving, even if kama is a lot less obvious about it and a lot more smug.

oh, i think ash would be the loudest between the two !! THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS. hearing him like that would also coax kama into making more noise as well so its win-win 

ok to be honest i think i should draw porn of them being soft like... THERES DETAILS I HAVE IN MIND THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE DOWN IN THE HEADCANON FORMAT and i’m too nervous about writing fics (looks away) but i have things to draw.

ANYWAY I THINK THIS GOT VERY LONG ????????? SO IM GONNA STOP HERE. IF U MADE IT THIS FAR: THANK U FOR LISTENING TO MY BRAINWORM !!!! 

[fairycosmos]

hey chloe i love ur blog. i started uni last week and it’s been ok but i’m rly scared i’m never going to make friends:(( i tried to talk to people during freshers week but none of those interactions ever went anywhere and now i’m sat in my room in halls completely alone. i feel like i never learned how to make friends and now i’m terrified i’ll always be alone. i can kind of do small talk but after that i’m awkward and can’t open up/be myself and i just get progressively more shy. any advice?

hi love thank you so much!! i appreciate that a LOT n im so sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time right now. i can definitely relate as i think many many people can, even if they seem confident to you. i massively struggle with making friends too, so idk if you've asked the right person sfhkjdhljf :( but generally speaking i guess, during times of such significant change it's very normal to go through a period of adjustment where you only have yourself to rely on and everything's out of wack. it's not an indicator that you'll always be alone and it's not something to be embarrassed about. this is a completely new environment and experience, you're bound to be overwhelmed. it's ok to feel down and to process negative emotions, as long as you can at least try to recognize them for what they are - temporary responses to temporary situations. simply feelings that you can learn to manage in a healthy way if you take the time to prioritize yourself and your needs. and it sux that it hurts and that you have to put up with it, but i promise that things will improve once you get settled n start working on the relationship you have with yourself. of course it's a lot easier said than done, and i genuinely don't blame you at all for being disheartened. every time i talk to someone in real life and i can't maintain the friendship, or i feel uncomfortable and i say the wrong thing, it throws me off and makes me burn with embarrassment. but it's all a learning process, and there's no rule book or deadline. it's very common for young adults to be between friends and to have moments of solitude. it's not like everyone consistently has a great group of friends. and honestly it's a blessing and a curse because obviously it's extremely lonely, and you're allowed to acknowledge that pain, but the freedom can teach you how to be your own best friend. you said you find it hard to be who you are (me 2!!) but....... maybe you'd feel better about showing your personality to others if you appreciated it yourself, in quiet moments. actively working on your self esteem and making the conscious choice to recognizie what you have to offer every single day, even if you feel stupid doing so, could make a difference. it's easy to attract like minded people if you're genuine, you know? the fact that you're making the effort to engage in small talk is wonderful, and like any other ability, social skills take time to develop bro. it's ok to not be great at talking to people when you're young, alright? so anyway point is, i would recommend setting a few small weekly goals for yourself - talk to that girl in class and breathe through the awkwardness, try that new bar or cafe, offer someone your pen. baby steps are great, every effort counts. maybe you could build up to joining a group or a club around your uni? i know that probably seems like a daunting and far fetched idea, and there's no pressure of course, it's just a lot easier to start a conversation when you have some common ground with someone. just something to consider while you get your bearings. ultimately, the world deserves to know you and you deserve companionship, they will never change. i want to stress that the situation you're in right now is not proof that you're destined to be alone or that you've done something wrong - you're just a small fish in a big pond, and so is everyone else, and just because uni isn't everything you expected doesn't mean it won't be worthwhile in its own way. you're doing so much better than you realize and im seriously infinitely proud of you for trying bc that's what it always comes back to. just have to keep dipping your toe in the water, keep it embracing the awkwardness, keep pushing and give yourself breaks when needed. also as a sidenote if this is having a big impact on your mental health/emotional well-being then i just wanted to say that there's honestly no shame in looking into any counselling services or hotlines or support groups that might be on offer. it may feel like you're isolated but there are always people who care and who have the tools to help you navigate. having someone to talk to and learning the root causes of your insecurities, and knowing how to self soothe......all of that will make a difference. don't allow your mind to write the idea off completely. vulnerability isn't something to run from, it often enables positive progress. no matter what your brain is telling you, you'll get through this one day at a time. and if a plan falls through, or you mess up in conversation, then there's always the next day. that's the beauty of uni and being young i suppose. anyway sorry this got so long, i just viscerally understand the absolute shame and discomfort of feeling not right around others. and i really hope you find the patience and self compassion to keep putting one foot in front of the other. even if it seems impossible at times. im rooting for you and honestly ik it's not the same but feel free to message me anytime. sending love and warmth 💘💘

[convervative-blog]

essay preparation, Conservative Judaism: Our Ancestors To Our Descendants by Elliot M. Dorff

alright buds gonna go thru this book, theres chapters and then like essay questions, so im here reading the chapters then answering the essay questions. im fucken ignorant as shit so this is all my stupid opinions that im still developing and it might change as i learn more idk. enjoy, lots of surprise-zionism in here skip if thats not ur thing

I. yes services start early morning we do prelims then shacharit torah & musaf then kiddush congregants range in ages from young to elderly (predominantly older tho) and in observance from super frum (ok like 5 of us lol) to basically secular & very pluralistic no one cares, very close-knit, "maritime personality disorder" very evident, love it

II. never studied at yeshiva or went to hebrew school, looking into doing so (u know when), actually the reason i picked up this book, im inherently drawn to like childrens resources (this is a highschool level book but u get it) bc as an adult i missed out on jewish child education, so im drawn to childrens resources to "learn from the start" so to speak

III. parents are gentiles, no jewish identity really, grandma resolutely denied being a jew though got 'mistaken' for one almost daily due to last name and appearance, 'corrected' people constantly, got bullied for it (i say grandma but its still patrilineal dont @ me), she didnt know anything about judaism and was frequently antisemitic and firmly catholic

IV. conservative judaism means that halachic rules are binding but that they should and must be interpreted via the lens of the society in which we live, in order to reduce suffering and increase overall observance (e.g. women, lgbt+, accessibility), conservative judaism also means an affordance of leniency in individualistic expressions of obligatory mitzvot

V. emancipation occurred from 1776-1880, within western europe (france holland england) during the rise of nationalism jews were considered naturalized citizens of their respective countries & not foreign outliers, allowed to serve in army etc  but had negative impact bc jews at the time began to lose their jewish identity whilst adopting goyische practices (ref. assimilation)

VI. absolutely and i fully intend on making aliyah, learning and speaking hebrew is nourishing for my soul, its an internal secret of mine that “magneto was right” u know, “does mainstreaming work?” and like, i say this not bc i believe jews should be separate (or even that jews should immigrate to israel) but in the interest of jewish protection and continuation, is mainstreaming going to contribute to jewish protection and continuation? mainstreaming needs to include existence. u cant mainstream two groups if one group is only accepted when they dont exist as themselves. “jews and gentiles can exist together! but u better show up to work on yom kippur.” jews deserve self-determination and to have the opportunity to live in their homeland which is the only safe place on earth for jews to publicly and fully express their judaism, to go to a school where they can safely and publicly express their judaism, to go to a synagogue where they can safely and publicly express their judaism, to go to a job where they can safely and publicly express their judaism. u tell me where that is, is it where u live? thats the downfall of mainstreaming, bc sure jews can assimilate but what u see is that ppl who arent jews will only interact with them if they renounce their judaism. sure u want to say jews and goyim living side by side respecting one anothers practices is the ideal, absolutely im "pro mainstreaming" for those ideals, but be practical! that shit aint never gonna happen, dont sacrifice yourself and ur family and ur friends for an academic concept that has never manifested itself in reality

VII. the advent of secularism! secularism is super appealing. movies! tv! books! music. mixed dancing as it were. all the things considered heretical bc they could curse g-d, but appealing on a neurological level. who doesnt wanna sit down and binge drop dead diva for 9 hours, its not me buds. so ofc many orthodox peeps would be drawn to it, but in the interest of maintaining their practices and beliefs, new movements would necessarily sprout up in response

VIII. assimilation occurred bc the advent of secularism drew alot of observant jews away from their practices and subsequently their identities, it was more appealing to be a citizen (a "german" not a "jew") bc it afforded them rights and privileges and goys would interact w them on an equal level, as long as they didnt express being jewish too much, or used their jewishness in a self-deprecating kind of way (alot of jewish comics got famous like this, ppl love listening to jews self-deprecate and in a downward shifting economy u gotta get it where u can get it)

IX. the differences between halacha in orthodox judaism and reform judaism? oh boy well today, because reform judaism looked totally different in the 1800s guys (most american jews were reform, which is why american jewish culture was so radically separate from european jewish culture and far more secular), but at the core orthodoxy believes halacha as it was written and interpreted (and as it continues to be interpreted and debated) is binding, no ifs ands or buts. u can find reasons why things can and cant be done but its always within the established halacha. reform judaism doesnt consider halacha binding but essentially “refers” to it as they develop their individual practices (”im a woman but im not gonna cover my hair if i get married bc blah blah blah” might be a reform opinion, its deciding not to follow the law, but its still referencing the law) and is exponentially more concerned with the idea of jewish peoplehood, identity, nationality, history, outside the world of torah. (yes? no? this is all shit i was spoonfed by 1 guy so like?) 

X. im writing a fucken essay on this man. need to chill out and condense. get my opinions in order. orthodoxy is appealing bc most ppl will believe the same shit u do and put the same weight on it, conservatism is more pluralistic/individualistic, definitely more secular, even tho i wholeheartedly agree with this & practice it in my life, the art of letting people do their own shit without judging them, the art of welcoming ppl into ur space despite their diverging belief systems, just: sometimes u can feel kind of silly when u know ppl probably dont take as literal interpretations as u do. strengths of reform individualism, pluralism, activism, diversity, influx of new opinions/thoughts, ppl talk to me about this i know very little about reform judaism dont get mad at me pls. weaknesses uhhhhhh lol am i gonna go there on tumblr.com 2day... weaknesses i guess would be that its not taken as seriously by outsiders? is that acceptable/right?

endin here for now!

[men4ce-red]

do u ever make a new oc and realize u’ve immediately cursed ur own dick ANYWAY

hi im a huge weenie and made a dragon ball oc! theyre a shinjin, they/them pronouns, and..just. JUST obnoxiously gay

their name ‘urumisu’ is my very bad attempt at literally taking the name ‘hermes’ and kinda romanizing it i guess??! imagine their jpn dub name is urumisu and their eng dub name is hermes lmao

fun facts below the cut!

SO u may be wondering ‘ex-universe 4 apprentice but universe 7 mail person wtf does this mean’ it means i was at work and thought of these ideas at random but i felt like they weirdly worked super well so just bear w me

urumisu is orig from universe 4 yeah! trained as an apprentice kai to maybe eventually become a supreme kai, BUT theyre fucking heinously irresponsible. so much so that kuru, the universe 4 kai, gets absolutely fed up and ‘suspends’ them indefinitely until they wise up enough and show theyre ready to take their job seriously

he does so by sending them to universe 7! why? bc its the universe dragon ball takes place in obviously! thats literally it ok i didnt say this was expert craftsmanship

in their time before their suspension, they DID pick up on the ‘kai kai’ technique, meaning they pretty much spend all their time hopping place to place throughout the universe...and have taken to being QUITE the gossip, almost a tabloid journalist, constantly blogging about the things they learn and hear!

they just so happen by on earth at a time when lord beerus and whis happened by, and are ab. so. lute. ly. smitten. because im that bitch.

and for a short while, uru’s main goal diverts from gossip to woo’ing universe 7′s god of destruction because for some idiot ass reason beerus looked them square in the face and told them he’d hakai them in an instant and all they did was sigh dreamily and melt onto the ground. he didn’t. he didn’t know what to. do or say to that. so.

throughout all of this, kuru ofc calls in and checks periodically on uru for progress updates, gauging if they’ve become any more ‘responsible,’ and of course they lie through their teeth--they’ve mastered quick changing from their ‘jobless’ attire to untucking their trousers, putting on their robe, and tying their sash in five seconds flat. its astonishing really.

when it comes time for the jig to be up, kuru all but drops uru’s ass, out of second chances to give. completely haphazardly lost, uru weighs theyre options--maybe they could be an attendant to shin? or even the elder supreme kai? or maybe? beerus? (of course not, but they can dream) 

as it ends up, the grand kai opens his arms and takes uru under his wing, utilizing uru’s mastery of the ‘kai kai’ teleportation and assigning them the role of ‘mailperson’ of the gods, or mostly just otherworld in general. sure, the kais can mostly telekenetically communicate, but they can’t communicate physical things! and, sometimes, on special occasions, uru functions basically as a walking talking ouija board, except far less cursed, and brings things between the mortal world and otherworld.

uru is immensely okay with this, because it means they get to stay in universe 7 and schmooze on lord beerus and occassionally whis and kibito and shin and. even vegeta and goku and SO many people god and enjoy the new life theyve grown accustomed to while still fulfilling divine duties they still feel inclined to carry out (maybe this suspension/expulsion business really has made them more responsible after all)

it lends to also zipping up their blabber mouth bc the kais definitely hold them to that ‘ur not suppose to read others mail’ business and uru could v easily do so esp w the telekinesis shinjin seem to have (or maybe just kais but i digress work w me here) but theyre not ALLOWED TO bc its part of the JOB THEYVE BEEN SO GRACIOUSLY GIVEN BY THE UNIVERSE 7 DIVINITY SO PLS DONT FUCK THIS ONE UP BUD

fun facts! uru, for my own self indulgent reasons because fucking of course, fucking...just... weirdly loves feeding people. they dont have a super big desire to eat food themselves, though they will, sure, but they absolutely love the bonding experience and trust that comes with spoonfee,ding other this sounds a lot worse when i type it out. anyway thats why theyre just absoluetly FLOORED by not only beerus and whis but just, goku and vegeta and they find saiyans in general adorable bc they just eat a fucking shit ton. urumisu’s just. a fucking weirdo like that thats all there really is to it

also fun fact! they have a TERRIBLY too lax way of speaking--i know jpn has ways of speaking informally, but in english it rly translates into that valley-girl ass “like, totally, dude” being in EVERY sentence.

they also, in english at least, would refer to EVERYONE as ‘sweetie’, or even, more rarely tho, ‘baby’ or ‘darling’ bc, like i said, 0 formality MCKASDJF the only thing i could find in jpn tho is that they literally call everyone ‘-bo’ or ‘-tan’ in like a cutesy way

theyve also added their own little flare to ‘kai kai’ without really meaning to--theres the faintest glittery shimmer signalling where they’ll appear just seconds before they do, and, somehow, they seem to always find themselves appearing on tabletops (coupled with the permanent wedges, it seems they just really like to be tall, though they wouldnt admit it)

both when they arrive and when they leave, they strike a cute pose! entering with a long “hi!~” and leaving with a “bye bye, kai kai!” because im a hammy bitch

the kanji on their delivery person uniform is suppose to say ‘mail’ i promise but forgive me if its. wrong mkLCAS orz

AND THATS...PRETTY MUCH IT I MEAN LIKE FUCK IF IM EVER GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH THIS CHARACTER BUT CAKSCDK I HAD FUN DESIGNING THEM AND HAVING THEIR LITTLE ARC COME TOGETHER!

[vitaminhosh]

prince!seungcheol

anon requested: “prince cheol i will lvoe u forever”

pairing: seungcheol x reader

under the cut bc it’s ridiculously long

oH boy i am so ready for this au

one of the most charming and endearing princes out there??

there isn’t anyone one within a 100-mile radius that dislikes seungcheol like..... have you met him

and anyone who does kind of feel some sort of dislike towards him

they see him smile and oops

how did I not like him before?? he’s an angel??

he is genuinely hard working and kind hearted though, he works very hard to make the lives of his people better

when he was younger and wasn’t allowed to go out he would have to learn about the kingdom’s history and,, all the war and bloodshed absolutely broke his heart

he swore that when he was older he would never allow something like this to happen again

when he was finally allowed to go out and saw some of the people struggling to just make do, he was determined to make a change

nowadays he makes it his mission to go out and meet everybody and see how they’re doing as often as his busy schedule allows

he’ll have lunch in the town and chat with the people, anyone who saw from the outside wouldn’t even suspect that he was royalty and just think that it was a table of old friends

plus his absolute favorite meal of all time is in this small shop tucked away in one of the small streets in the heart of town, and it was,,, a burger

sure the food in the palace was obviously amazing with top chefs cooking there and all but,, nothing really beats the burger made in this small shop that people barely even knew about

we all know seungcheol will be a well-dressed prince 

like,, he won’t want to be super over the top in full on capes and stuff but,, he sure as hell isn’t just walking around town in sweatpants or something

he cares about his image okay

(even though everyone will swoon even if he were to go out in sweatpants and a hoodie)

everyone in his kingdom is basically in love with him

as are the people in neighboring kingdoms 

and far away kingdoms

the other princes are jealous

have you seen his smile though? it can cure diseases

he takes his responsibilities very seriously, but obviously, he’s still a young man who likes to have fun and gets bored too

he doesn’t like to sit still, so when he’s finished with all of his duties he’ll be off to go do something

even at odd times at the night, you can find him in a nearby kingdom trying to find this specific comic book or something

people don’t find it weird anymore

“oh look prince seungcheol is here again did you want more of these sweets?”

he’s often seen hanging out with the other princes when he can

the people die when they see their princes hanging out together

has public social media accounts but also secret personal ones

spams the group chat full of princes,, just because he can

ok enough background stuff onto you and cheol

you work in one of those small tucked away shops that prince seungcheol likes to frequent

however you’re not from this kingdom, and you only work the night shift so it’s not like you know a lot of people or much about this kingdom

you’re just taking this job to try and make some cash while you’re away from home traveling, you happened to choose to stay here indefinitely

you’re not entirely sure who this strangely good-looking man is who only comes in at 3am every week is but ?? business is business plus you’re not gonna judge,, it’s not like you’ve never had cravings for junk food in the middle of the night too

since it’s late at night cheol is dressed in very casual clothes so nothing really gives away the fact that he’s actually the goddamn prince of this kingdom

since he comes so often plus he just likes to get to know people he makes small talk while you gather up his stuff

after a couple of weeks, you soon become kinda like friends ?? it’s a weird circumstance but hell it’s 3am nobody’s really functioning well enough to question this

 you’re sitting at the counter on your phone when the bell on the door rings signalling another customer

you just know it’s him again cause,,, not many people would be here at this ungodly time of night so you don’t bother looking up

you stop scrolling through instagram when you hear tutting in front of you

“I should complain to your manager you know- I’d rate this customer service a 1/10″

seungcheol watched as you finally looked up and chuckled at him

“sorry old man..... how can I help you, your highness”

seungcheol froze- did you finally find out who he was?

the reason he was so interested in you was because you didn’t seem to know who he was, and treated him like a normal person

his mind was going 100 miles a minute until you suddenly snorted

“god imagine it,, you ?? a king ?? pfft”

he smirked once he realized he wasn’t busted

“what do you have against me being a king huh?”

“idk man what kinda king buys junk food like three times a week at 3am,, plus ur a dork”

“wow,,, is that all i am to you,,,,,, a dork,,,, im hurt”

you smack his arm before starting to scan the things he’s put down on the counter

“how do you eat all this and stay in shape... tell me your secrets”

“god given metabolism sorry sweaty you can’t buy this :-)”

you snorted once again as you begin to pack his things into a paper bag

“did god accidentally spill all the ego into you as well”

“well i mean to help god out i do go workout too feel free to join me if you’re not too unfit to keep up”

“uhhh excuse me who are you calling unfit..... give me a time and place and I’ll fight beat you in a race”

“fine when do you get off tomorrow I’ll walk you to the hill and see who can get to the top first”

and that’s how you ended up at the bottom of a hill at 5am with a man you’ve never seen outside the shop

“whoever wins gets treated to breakfast”

“wipe that smirk off your face seungcheol I’m not getting beat by you”

surprise surprise,,,,, you lost

unfortunately he was much faster than you thought he would be

you were both lying on the grass, panting from running up a sizable hill 

you punched his arm

seungcheol sat up, mouth open as he was about to whine when a voice came from the bottle of the hill

“your highness! there you are! you were supposed to return an hour ago you father will find out you’ve been out!”

seungcheol’s eyes widened before cursing under his breath

“I gotta go but you still owe me breakfast okay I’ll explain everything tonight ok bye !!”

you just sat there in shock as seungcheol dashed down the hill, even faster than before as the worker followed behind him

“y-your highness?”

you had flashbacks to seungcheol smirking when you laughed at the idea of him being king

you make your way back home, with a permanent blush on your cheeks and a million thoughts in your head

how could you not know that he was the prince?

oh god you’ve been smacking the prince for weeks when he makes a stupid dad joke

you can’t sleep that day and when you’re back in the shop you’re barely conscious

you’re too tired to even think about seungcheol saying he would explain tonight

when seungcheol comes in and makes his way over to the counter, he expects to find you on your phone again but instead sees you asleep on the counter

he smiles softly before grabbing an old receipt and a pen and writing a note

“sleeping on the job? strike two y/n. I really should complain to your manager, guess I was just too fast for you ;). I’ll be back tomorrow, get some rest. p.s. you might want to wash that hoodie, you drooled a little bit”

you woke up with a panic when your phone chimed at 5am, reminding you it was time to close up

oh god seungcheol was supposed to come

after you finally orientate yourself you notice the note on the table

after reading the note you flush red again

oh god you were asleep in front of the cute prince and d r o o l e d

you stumbled home after closing up and immediately went to sleep

later that day you rushed to the shop, almost late since you were so tired you slept through your alarm

as 2 am came around the bell on the door rang and you sat up straight

seungcheol didn’t usually come till around 3 so you assumed this was an actual customer

"I hope you washed that hoodie before coming back here tonight”

you looked down and noticed that you were in such a rush that you didn’t even change out of last night’s outfit

flushing pink, you quip back with a “so what if I didn’t huh”

seungcheol finally appears from around the shelf

“its a bit gross i gotta say”

“not as gross as you”

seungcheol looked at you with a soft smile on his face, trying to get the words in his head to form coherent sentences

“im sorry”

you looked at him with a blank face

“what for ?? i mean i know its kinda gross but like i was gonna be late for work and-”

“no, I’m sorry for not telling you”

you sat there with your mouth half open and closed it before looking down at your hands that were on the counter

“it’s okay”

he took your hands in his, making you look up

“it’s not, I shouldn’t have kept it from you. I’ve just never had someone treat me like everyone else and it was... refreshing. But you deserved to know, I was being selfish. I’m sorry”

you gave seungcheol a soft smile, giving his hands a soft pat as he looked down at his feet to try and get his attention

“seungcheol really, it’s fine. I understand why you did it, I’m not mad”

“I still feel bad, it wasn’t right. You should be mad”

“well I mean I am....”

seungcheol looked up, ready to apologize again

“but only cause you beat me in a race,,,,, outrageous”

you smack him again, trying to lighten the mood

“but a deal is a deal, and I still owe you breakfast”

seungcheol started giggling, and you swear your heart skipped a beat

“im trying to be serious here and all you care about is getting beat”

“cheol, i really don’t mind. plus, I’m a woman of my word, I can’t have you owe me, that’s ridiculous”

“I’m busy later, how about you just treat me to a late night snack here instead”

fast forward to a couple weeks later, and you’re back at that hill waiting for seungcheol to come so that he can introduce you to his prince friends as you have a couple of days off

you can actually hear them before you see them 

who’s even surprised at this point it’s seungcheol + 12 rowdy boys

“guys please don’t be embarrassin- oH hi y/n you’re early hahaha”

“hi I’m jeonghan are you cheol’s girlfrien-”

seungcheol shoved the guy out of the way before he could finish his sentence

“sorry,,, my friends are idiots”

you chuckled as seungcheol sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, a light pink dusting his cheeks

“don’t worry, I like them”

“wE LIKE YOU TOO Y/N”

you giggled before heading over to the group of guys to go meet them properly

seungcheol stood still for a second, watching you introduce yourself to his friends a couple feet away

jeonghan came up to him, watching you with him

“when are you gonna ask her out, I thought you were going to the other day when you guys hung out at her place”

“she was tired so I let her sleep, some other time jeonghan”

they headed back to the group and you turned to them as you noticed the two join the circle

“cheol !! is it true that you tripped over a log and fell into the lake while trying to impress a girl when you were 6? i knew you were a dork but I didn’t think it was that bad”

“wHAT ARE YOU GUYS TELLING HER”

as the day began to end and everyone had to head back, seungcheol insisted on walking you back to your apartment

you had refused at first, but you were tired and it was late

when you got to your place you turned to seungcheol, about to thank him for walking you back when you saw him looking nervous

“cheol, are you okay? what’s wrong?”

“nothing,, I just,, y/n would you want- I mean- do you,, uh,,,, will you,, go out with me?”

you could barely hear him as he was mumbling but you just managed to catch his words

you put your hand on his cheek and pressed a quick kiss onto his other cheek

“of course seungcheol, it’d be an honor”

you smiled and said goodnight before heading inside

seungcheol stood there, frozen in shock as you had not only agreed but ???? you kissed his cheek ?????

you began to get ready for bed, a smile and a light blush on your face

you can’t believe you’re dating the biggest dork on the planet

seungcheol, on the other hand, was shouting at jeonghan down the phone; he practically skipping home

a/n: this is,,,,,, the longest thing ever im so sorry i got excited about this au

[partlycharlie-archive]

gender? who is she? (they???)

chapter one: what’s my name again? link to prologue

summary: [18:00] ???: LUNA [18:00] ???: WHAT IF [??? (SumayaPotter) changed their name to harry?] [18:00] harry?: !!!!!! word count: 1,573 warnings: n/a a/n: we’re getting into it!!! hope u enjoy

read on ao3

[FRIDAY; 10.12.18]

  the golden trio™ [POTter (SumayaPotter), grangerstranger (HermioneGranger), DieselWeasel (RonWeasley)]

  [16:45] POTter: @everyone

[17:34] grangerstranger: What’s a mood [17:34] grangerstranger: Sorry [17:34] grangerstranger: What’s up

[17:36] DieselWeasel: how do you accidentally type whats a mood

[17:36] grangerstranger: Magic [17:36] grangerstranger: And a conversation going on next to me

[17:37] DieselWeasel: okay [17:37] DieselWeasel: sounds fake but . okay [17:37] DieselWeasel: a n y w a y [17:37] DieselWeasel: @POTter whats up

[17:40] POTter: oH [17:40] POTter: yh sry [17:40] POTter: if yall were th opp sex wht wld ur names b ?

[17:41] grangerstranger: Sorry just [17:41] grangerstranger: Give me a minute to decipher that

[17:41] DieselWeasel: #rekt

[17:41] POTter: r00d

[17:42] grangerstranger: Wait Maya

[17:42] POTter: ye

[17:42] grangerstranger: As in what our parents would've named us or what we'd want our names to be if we were the opposite sex

[17:42] POTter: idc both

[17:43] grangerstranger: William

[17:43] POTter: y

[17:43] grangerstranger: Well [17:43] grangerstranger: I don’t know what my parents were thinking when they named me [17:44] grangerstranger: But the name Hermione is from the winter’s tale by Shakespeare [17:44] grangerstranger: I'm not the hugest fan of Shakespeare but I'd still like to have an older name [17:44] grangerstranger: Plus his first name was William so it's still a nod to my parents

[17:44] POTter: damn out here w tht Knowledge [17:45] POTter: ron????

[17:46] DieselWeasel: uhhhhhhh [17:46] DieselWeasel: i mean if i had been born a girl it wouldve been ginerva bc yall KNOW ma and dad have been holding onto that for ages [17:46] DieselWeasel: but . harper maybe? i like that name

[17:46] POTter: huh [17:46] POTter: harperd fit u

[17:47] DieselWeasel: what about you

[17:50] POTter: idk [17:50] POTter: what do u think

[17:50] grangerstranger: Alex [17:50] grangerstranger: ?

[17:51] DieselWeasel: i mean ? would you want like [17:51] DieselWeasel: an ethnic name ? [17:53] DieselWeasel: imagine quotes on that lol

[17:53] POTter: ehhhhhhh [17:53] POTter: i wldnt b opposed but ? [17:54] POTter: idk rly i guess itd be cool either way [17:54] POTter: also @grangerstranger alex is nice

[17:54] DieselWeasel: mkay [17:56] DieselWeasel: what about harry [17:56] DieselWeasel: hari ? harry ? who knows

[17:56] POTter: OH [17:56] POTter: y e s [17:56] POTter: thank

[17:59] DieselWeasel: uh ? [17:59] DieselWeasel: no problem lol [17:59] DieselWeasel: :)

  ??? (SumayaPotter), luna! (LunaLovegood)

 [18:00] ???: LUNA [18:00] ???: WHAT IF

[??? (SumayaPotter) changed their name to hari?]

[18:00] hari?: !!!!!! [18:00] hari?: wait wait wait

[hari? (SumayaPotter) changed their name to harry?]

[18:01] harry?: i like this better i think [18:01] harry?: idk im still trying 2 figure it out

[18:04] luna!: oh! that's a lovely name. congratulations harry! i'm glad you've found something that suits you. :D

[18:04] harry?: :D

 ---

  [SATURDAY; 10.13.18]

  everyone except sumaya [granger (HermioneGranger), weasley_1 (RonWeasley), weasley_2 (GinnyWeasley), malfoy (DracoMalfoy), longbottom (NevilleLongbottom)…]

 [13:35] granger: I just want all of you to know I still disagree with the name of this chat

[14:57] malfoy: Yes, yes, we know. [14:57] malfoy: You’ve been saying that since the creation of this groupchat.

[15:15] weasley_1: #rekt

[15:28] granger: Shut up malfoy

[15:28] weasley_1: #rekt

[16:01] longbottom: ok but we haven’t had to use this chat for a couple weeks now? what’s up hermione?

[16:01] weasley_1: sus acting weird

[16:01] longbottom: okay but she’s always acting weird, what’s different about this time?

[16:02] weasley_1: we had an entire conversation about what our names would be if we were the opposite sex

[16:02] longbottom: oh. [16:02] longbottom: yeah okay that’s a bit weird. [16:02] longbottom: what did she say her’s would be?

[16:02] granger: That's the thing though [16:03] granger: She didn’t [16:03] granger: She asked us what we thought it should be

[16:03] weasley_1: here gimme a sec

[weasley_1 (RonWeasley) sent a screenshot.] [weasley_1 (RonWeasley) sent a screenshot.]

[16:05] parkinson: im dead her name is my MOOD

[16:05] longbottom: damn. okay. [16:05] longbottom: what do you think it means?

[16:06] weasley_1: i dunno why does it have to mean anything

[16:06] longbottom: well, obviously you think it means something - you wouldn’t have posted it here if you didn’t?

[16:06] weasley_1: damn youre right [16:07] weasley_1: i dunno? it just feels like kind of an odd thing to ask about ? [16:07] weasley_1: especially because its not like we were talking about names today or anything [16:07] weasley_1: it just seemed like an out of the blue subject thats all

[16:09] lovegood: if i may interject? i find it very likely that sumaya is simply settling into their personality, and part of that may include an exploration of the different facets of themself! [16:09] lovegood: her*, whoops!

[16:09] weasley_1: ? [16:09] weasley_1: oh okay

[16:09] longbottom: you’re so right, luna!

[16:09] weasley_1: huh yeah that makes sense lol

  #girlsforluna (GinnyWeasley), #boysforluna (NevilleLongbottom)

 [16:10] #girlsforluna: gay

[16:11] #boysforluna: :’) [16:11] #boysforluna: i can’t help it! she’s so [16:11] #boysforluna: wait.

  everyone except sumaya [weasley_1 (RonWeasley), longbottom (NevilleLongbottom), lovegood (LunaLovegood), granger (HermioneGranger), malfoy (DracoMalfoy)…]

 [16:12] longbottom: hey, @lovegood?

[16:13] lovegood: yes! hi neville!

[16:13] longbottom: hey! what pronouns are you using right now?

[16:13] lovegood: he/him for now! :)

[16:13] longbottom: okay! thanks so much.

[16:14] weasley_2: neville you fucking nerd i cant,,,,,,

  #girlsforluna (GinnyWeasley), #boysforluna (NevilleLongbottom)

 [16:12] #girlsforluna: you okay??? [16:13] #girlsforluna: oh my god lmfao

[16:14] #boysforluna: okay, i got it. [16:14] #boysforluna: he’s just so cute! and smart! and kind! and! ugh my god i love him so much.

[16:14] #girlsforluna: youre so fucking cute i wanna die [16:14] #girlsforluna: you really just paused an online conversation to get pronouns i love you oh my god [16:14] #girlsforluna: also. i feel you so hard he’s such a lovely person??? hhhh [16:14] #girlsforluna: anyway :)

[16:14] #boysforluna: :)

  everyone except sumaya [weasley_2 (GinnyWeasley), longbottom (NevilleLongbottom), lovegood (LunaLovegood), weasley_1 (RonWeasley), granger (HermioneGranger)…]

[16:15] lovegood: is everything okay, neville?

[16:16] weasley_2: oh yeah totally i just had the sudden and urgent realization that neville’s a fucking nerd

[16:16] longbottom: shut the hell up n stop ghosting u hoe

[16:17] parkinson: damn son okay [16:17] parkinson: i dont know if im more surprised tht u cursed or tht u didnt use Perfect Punctuation ???? either way im lowkey impressed good job

[16:17] longbottom: :)

  mione (HermioneGranger), nevs (NevilleLongbottom)

 [16:46] mione: Hey neville

[17:09] nevs: yeah, what’s up?

[17:11] mione: Do you think sue might be [17:11] mione: Trans or something?

[17:11] nevs: huh. [17:11] nevs: i guess i’d never thought of it but. [17:11] nevs: i suppose it’s entirely possible? [17:12] nevs: especially because she’s been wearing her hijab more often.

[17:12] mione: Yeah [17:12] mione: Wait but why would that mean shes trans?

[17:13] nevs: well, she has really long hair, and when she’s not wearing a hijab she usually has it in a braid because it’s easier to manage, right?

[17:13] mione: Yeah I know what hou mean [17:13] mione: You

[17:13] nevs: but it’s also a constant reminder that she has hair. [17:13] nevs: i mean, i was talking to luna the other day? [17:14] nevs: and he mentioned that on his masculine days he like to put his hair up, but only when he’s feeling really dysphoric. [17:14] granger: so now that i think about it in that light, it makes a lot of sense - [17:15] nevs: her hair goes into a bun when she puts it up, and it’s tight so she doesn’t have to think about it so much.

[17:15] mione: Oh [17:15] mione: Yeah that makes sense [17:16] mione: Thanks Neville

[17:16] nevs: no problem! [17:16] nevs: i probably wouldn’t go around sharing this with everyone, though. [17:16] nevs: especially because we don’t really know if it’s true or not.

[17:17] mione: Yeah of course

  hermyownknee (HermioneGranger), ronniekins (RonWeasley)

 [17:20] hermyownknee: Hey Ron

 ---

  ron (RonWeasley), luna (LunaLovegood)

 [17:34] ron: hey luna

[17:38] luna: hello, ron! is everything okay?

[17:38] ron: um . i think so?

[17:38] luna: okay! [17:40] luna: what did you want to talk to me about? [17:40] luna: i assume you contacted me for a reason? :)

[17:40] ron: haha yeah [17:40] ron: um [17:40] ron: dont take this the wrong way [17:41] ron: i know sometimes sumaya tells you stuff that she doesn’t tell me or hermione [17:41] ron: and that’s fine [17:41] ron: obviously shes allowed to make those kinds of decisions for herself [17:41] ron: but uh

[17:41] luna: she’s fine, i promise. [17:42] luna: i would tell you if she told me anything that i found concerning.

[17:44] ron: okay [17:44] ron: thanks

[17:50] luna: of course, ron.

[realmzenith]

answer All the questions for your newest oc

DEAD U HAD TO ASK FOR NEWEST DIDN’T YOU. welp in that case have ya boi eneko

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?he’s a patient dude! eneko can likely sit still doing nothing for as long as his physiology will allow aka until he needs to go to the bathroom or smth. he does well w low activity as he’s an introspective person

How easy is it for your character to laugh?FAIrly easy?? on a level of one to ten w one being laughs at anything that moves or doesn’t move i’d say he’s a.. 6. ok so not that easily like he IS fairly taciturn but he will smile and laugh at a good joke esp if he’s comfy around the person making it

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)by crying- no jk he doesn’t… cry… emotions? what are those??? (thats a lie he’s an emotional mess) he will plan for the next day, strategizing and such but that’s honestly rlly bad for him. he stresses easily. on nights when he’s got a clearer head he’ll hum softly or read if he’s not feeling too guilty abt burning off candles. he does like night walks they always clear his mind

How easy is it to earn their trust?oh oof that’s a tricky one. not that easy but at the same time- OKAy yeah just not that easily from one being the easiest to ten being the hardest he’s likely a 8

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?VERY hard. once you’ve gained his trust he will be LOYAL af to u eneko is quiet n not the most expressive but he will absolutely go down in flames for someone he’s deemed trustworthy. a solid 9. 

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?laws are flexible defo. he PREFERS structure but if morality trumps laws he will break them. it also helps that he’s lowkey part of a rebellion so technically his existence in the present is breaking the law

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?god save us all. he’s a nostalgic dude so uh, oh damn i dont have backstory for him yet i made him last night rainy stop bullying me but ykw we’re doing this. flowers defo. queen anne’s lace n bluebells esp? bring back memories n also pumpkin stew. mixed memories w that one. queen anne’s lace mean sanctuary n bluebells mean gratitude which is LOWKEY ironic considering they spawn memories of burning along w memories of his older sisters so yes?? he does like remembering his sisters but no not in that context. the stew is a weird reminder of his first love n that’s. also complicated 

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?talk more and talk better. he’s got a bit of habit of being short abt things and the middle sister of the fam was ALWAYS getting on his case abt no u can’t word it like that but the eldest was and is a terrible influence n absolutely encouraged it bc she found it hilarious. it’s good they love each other i swear

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?yes he’s part of a rebellion and a soldier what more do u eXPECt and no he doesn’t remember his first swear word. he also doesn’t curse that much dont get me wrong. he has to be comfy around u

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?gosh uh. eneko is still v underdeveloped so i .. WELL I CANNOt tell u in the present it’s prbly smth angsty involving his sisters or his lovER but the answer to does it haunt him? yes absolutely he must Suffer :)

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?it depends on the situation’s levity. if it’s smth important he will absolutely bluntly ask for clarification if it’s smth casual he’ll just nod and pretend like he knows what ur talkin abt bc social anxiety is a b

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?Suffer in Silence

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he doesn’t rlly think abt this. he likes green tho but he wears a lot of black (that’s partially required by his associations and partially bc idk what other colors exist thanks @ god) he looks best in hmmm red

What animal do they fear most?himSELF 

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he’s usually fairly forthright so he sounds like he’s saying whatever comes to mind but the reality is he says abt 1% of what he’s thinking and he won’t say things that are quite obviously rude. who knows tbh maybe he gains secret enjoyment from watching ppl squirm under his bluntness eyes emoji

What makes their stomach turn?torture n he hates the sight of bones. blood he can stand but bones? no thanks. unfort in the business they’re in he comes across both of those more than he’d like. he also hates working in the theoretical. it’s unnerving but he’s fine if someone he trusts is wading thru the abstract for him aka thank u @ kent for being the resident intuitive 

Are they easily embarrassed?nah not particularly 

What embarrasses them?if u slap his BUTT in public jkjk i mean that would embarrass him if u caught him by surprise but hmmm he doesn’t like attention if u draw attention to him he’ll freak a lil that would fluster him also excessive praise esp if it’s expressed publicly. he squirms beneath the spotlight

What is their favorite number?19. day of the month he last saw his sisters smiling

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d prbly say smth deep which i cannot truly replicate but prbly smth like. “familial love is steady. it’s the mountain beneath which u were born. it’s the protection n the stability n the impossible sheer volume of it that can’t quite be comprehended. platonic love is like cords linking u to them. it’s the promise, the assurance of i will pull u up if u fall and if i can’t ill fall w u. it’s a tug o war and an anchor. romantic love is a stallion. it’s the passion and the chance but if u know how to tame it it serves to make u a better man than u could ever become on ur own. it’s the teamwork and the flames”

Why do they get up in the morning? to execute justice and to experience each new precious day he’s been gifted

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? it’s ugly when jealousy rears its head in him. he doesn’t SAY anything but his actions become more erratic and he has a harder time focusing. it’s likely he’ll become more impulsive. he’s not DANGEROUs per se but it’s not a situation u want him in

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? envy he’s better about. mostly bc unlike w jealousy he doesn’t already have the thing. it’s smth he’ll just push down and soldier thru like he does w most uncomfy things in his life

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? oh MY GOD DONT TALK ABT SEX that’s SCANDALOUS- the answer is no he finds it unprofessional in his line of work but he would be comfortable discussing it w his s/o

What are their thoughts on marriage? good. he approves. however, for himself he finds the prospect unlikely considering the high risk nature of what he’s involved himself w. he expects to die before 35 in all seriousness

What is their preferred mode of transportation? in the sweet embrace of death horseback

What causes them to feel dread? the knowledge that everything’s falling apart. that fate and circumstance are slowly but surely chipping away at the very foundation of what u live for and there’s absolutely nothing u can do to stop it. also freaking the appearance of the antagonist or his minions

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? in theory? no. in practice? he’s actually p sensitive that’s a difficult one to answer. it would greatly depend on the circumstance but in the long run he prefers the truth

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? yes but in his own eyes, no. he holds himself to extremely high standards and is very self critical. also he has rlly unachievable ideals he’s a lil bit idealistic beneath the guise of realism

Who do they most regret meeting? ohohOHO jk i have no idea not there yet in the story but prbly the antagonist he’s a b

Who are they the most glad to have met? funnily enough? he could almost say the antagonist. he’s the reason why eneko’s working as hard as he is for what he is. without the introduction of the antagonist he would’ve been oblivious to the terrible injustice around him and likely ended up a victim by some obscure mindless death order. however the person he truly admires is the rebel member who took him under her wing however she’s still in the works so i can’t give u much on her

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? i don’t think so, no

Could they be considered lazy? NOPE not in any sense of the word. eneko works extremely hard. he’s v dedicated n dutiful

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? oh, very hard. he’s naturally altruistic so he tends to take failures to heart and internalize them and considering the dangerous line of work he’s in he oftens has guilt building up inside him. he’ll likely carry it w him for the rest of his life once he’s decided to be guilty abt smth. if someone doesn’t help him w it it can break him down in ugly ways

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? yes!! he’s a pure son. you’ll definitely get a smile out of him if smth good has happened to u. he’s very supportive of his friends. he would die for his friends and likely all of u i just want u all to know this 

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?neither. he finds seeking romance irresponsible w his lifestyle. as i previously stated he expects to die young

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he has fairly good memory esp w faces! but otherwise? i would say he learns best by touch. he’s a tactile person and also fairly auditory. music defo helps him remember things

What memory do they revisit the most often? prbly the day he separated from his sisters. it’s not a particularly good memory but it’s seared in his mind

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? he doesn’t ignore ppl’s flaws per se? he’s p perceptive so it’s difficult for him to just turn a blind eye at least within his own mind but eneko is v tolerant of ppl and accepting. even if he dislikes u it’s doubtful you’ll know he’s fairly good at keeping up the same respect for most everyone he comes in contact w. but yeah? he knows what flaws are there but he will simply accept ppl bc he knows everyone, including himself, esp himself, has many flaws

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?oh oof yeah he’s?? a p sensitive guy so while he recognizes his own faults jabs to his weak spots will hurt him and he’ll prbly sit on the accusation or callout for days esp if someone accuses him of being selfish or immoral or not having done enough for the ppl he cares abt (smth along those lines) he’d absolutely hate that. but if u tell him he’s blunt he’s going to be like im well aware of that

How do they feel about children? he’s SUCH A DAD he loves kids and he’s rlly good w them they love him bc he’s SOFT ok but he doesn’t plan on having them himself even tho he’d like to for the exact same reasons he isn’t pursuing romance/marriage

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? enough that he’d die to reach it

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?eneko is either demi or grasexual w pan preferences. he’s also panromantic. if someone asked for explanation he’d be like “i’m attracted to people of all genders” and just leave it at that unless ofc they were like RLLY curious or smth but he doesn’t rlly consider himself demi or pan or anything he just knows he isn’t straight LOL

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?…strong silent type. that’s all i have to sayB) What inspired you to create them?i’ve taken some inspiration from other characters from shows, etc. i’ve written so he’s a bit of a love child of the best of my musesC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?im still figuring it out so that’s a probable yesD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?he’s been edited a bit there were a few reincarnations of him like at first he had straight black hair in an undercut style but now it’s WAVY and dark brown and he also got darker. id say he’s like latino w a lil african blood this is esp amusing considering i literally created him last nightE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?i think we’d get along alright if we could get past the initial awkwardness bc we’re both kind of crap at interpersonal relationships actually he isn’t that bad it’s mostly me and i THINK he might find me slightly abrasive n energetic (even tho im PLOT TWIST low energy compared to most extroverts) but he’s tolerant it wouldn’t be too badF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?love…. i love my soft boi i usually hate my ocs aka i would slap them if given the chance but eneko? deserves happinessG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?he is not real in general and non existent in actual writing as of the present. the latter tragedy i will soon solve. in all seriousness it’s prbly his bluntness it has the tendency to give me second hand embarrassmentH) What trait do you admire most?his tolerance and patience i have none loLI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?for now, yes! i dont have a solid grasp of him so until then he’ll stay where he was BIRTHEDJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly! the entire story he’s in is still in the works so everything’s rlly flexible

[marwankenzarisgaylittleearring]

Cagematch meetcute is something that can be soooo personal <3 highflying Yusuf does a moonsault off the top (i know someone did that at some point already I feel like it coulda been Cody Rhodes but idk in which company but whatever whatever that shit’s mad I love it) & Nicky very angrily thinks about starlings in flight and other romantic revelations

Ok on that note what do we consider to be the main motivation for the boys in this au re: wrestling over everything else or eternal devotion over wrestling. Bc to me its def the first and I think thats also such a good dynamic to explore in this bc part of the soulmateism of it all is then applied to like. “i know I’ll never be the most impt thing in ur life but its ok bc you’ll never be the most impt thing in mine either. And the thing which IS the most impt is the same for both of us.” 

-> fits in with maladaptive coping as the only thing worth reading abt in fic IMO 

OUIJA-ING STEVE JOBS scream sorry if I talk over ur head in terms of wrestling men idk how familiar u are w everything which is . Smth I should take into account . Soz <3 BUT I am now going to wikipedia about it & at least u got a nice time out of it reading abt intense violence applied to people by other people !!! Love and light !!! (speaking of Eddie Kingston (which if I say Kingston I am talking abt Eddie for the record) and intense violence there was a (truly horrible tbh it ended up going so wrong) barbed wire match on dynamite last Wednesday with some crazy spots which like. Ok aew is real bad at barbed wire matches theyre a little cursed in that company but I feel like barbed wire matches are VERY Nicky & booker vibes) (it’s about the slower pace while you extricate yourself from barbed wire caught on your flesh. Its about the ✨ flavour ✨) (it’s also about that one spot in the death match between Adam Page & Adam Cole when Page crowns Cole with a barbed wire crown. Its about the religiosity.) 

Love no-DQ matches when it Fits like personally Im a huge fan of rules and restrictions I think it tends to make for better entertainment but it wouldn’t nec make sense for a feud which is Real (whether its actually real or not, yk what I mean) for ppl to then be like oh yeah lets follow the rules and not try to destroy each other for realsies. 

-> dunno why but this also made me think of a spot during one of Effy’s death matches where he’s thrown onto all sort of glass and what not & then his opponent grinds salt&vinegar chips into his open wounds. That feels like a nile thing to me. Its just on the edge of being ridiculous and humorous while also hurting like a real motherfucker

SO MUCH MORE ANNOYING HFDGJK god I love booker he’s completely off the shits. Absolutely head over heels for the concept of booker finally losing Well after going on a rampage of emotional repression. Smth smth infection/wound when the wound of his wife finally closes because he thinks he recognises his same grief in nile when in reality nile is dealing w that infection. If I ever got back into properly writing tog fic I think that’s such an underrated concept of the gritty messy human emotion of booker somewhat projecting on nile and falling in love with her In The Wrong Way. And then fighting through that. Malewife behaviour!

Not artists fuck better cause they put the pussy in the sarcomfpgsf oh I VERY MUCH remember said post ghjfkdslqmssgdsd I also feel like you’ve accidentally discovered the secrets of the universe in tog terms cause. YEAH THATS EXACTLY HIM. Annoying pretentious mfer. I wanna kiss him so bad. 

QUYNH’S SILLY RABBIT. Oh my god the more we talk about this the more I think Ive been missing out on like a whole chunk of potential serotonin all this time. Say So Much More About Nicky & Quynh If You Want Cause I Could Read This Forever. Feeling schewpid about Joe who allows Andy to reminisce in reverence. Feeling schewpid abt Joe who likes to listen to quynh make up stories about herself just to catch him off guard while also saying very real things. Yeah <3 

………………………yeah ur right bdsm is the b plot of wrestling. Yday on the death before dishonor ppv Danny Garcia got all involved with wheeler Yuta’s neck & I just seen the aftermath of that. Yoots looks like Danny were getting him to cum with naught but his mouth on his neck. Anyway in that vein Im bringing celeste into this au because I want that for nile & also because matches between people of the same (young) age is actually factually the best thing in wrestling. When they both pull the exact same move at the same time because theyre in the same stage of their skill development Whoo Boy that shit gets me

Generally I def hc nile as the oldest because even tho its deeply tropey the trop of eldest daughter loses her father at a young age & now feels in charge of both her siblings and her mother & it hardens her in unexpected ways that shit is DELIGHTFUL to me. I eat that up w a spoon. anyway. But no ur right actually the flavour of shame in being the youngest is different and so good… but I do like the idea of her being the oldest & @ this point she’s quite Made it in olympic wrestling so maybe she justifies her switch by being like ‘well Ive already done the grown up thing so this is fine and Im going to ignore all the ways in which it makes me Feel Bad’

Gdhfjklssqkhdfg this conversation gets derailed so many times over n over again like does ANY of this even have to do w wrestling anymore. Like emotionally. 

INCHRESTING re: shame / guilt. I definitely do see where ur coming from & like rationally I totally agree but theres something that just GETS me about booker & shame & that externality of it. But then I just like to put booker thru his paces in general. Tog didnt give me a character w mental illness up to here for me to go naaah I dont want him. He’s my little sandbox of catharsis. But anyway yes no u are right about the shame for dear Nicholas & guilt for booker

(“self medicates for 200 yrs before trying group suicide” sorry to keep quoting u back to u but fucking hell. yeah)

Oh yeah no aus in which modern day Nicky is a modern allegory for a crusader is a bit uhmmmm uhm yeah no thanks. The observing of the sacraments in public to piss ppl off is a direct 1:1 equivalent / addition to the personality of Nicky from that effy gif that started all this, death drops at the wrestlemania to annoy booker. So good

NO I MEAN NICKY’S LIKE FINE. LIKE HE ENJOYS THIS. Cause first of all bdsm subplot secondly I think a deeply underrated Nicky dynamic is when he does insane shit & goes all in for that but in reality he’s just like standing outside of himself smirking at the audience reactions. heel!nicky is that guy who only ever gets heat by referring to the audience as marks bc he genuinely does believe ppl are marks about this. I feel like that was a horrible description but read my mind u get it

HEEEEELLLLPPPP a preaching style promo for her culty river themed house of black. Insaneeeee thats so good Im def signing off on that my god. I think nile is insane enough to do that I mean like she might lie awake some nights wondering if she’ll ever get into heaven for all the other reasons as well as this but when she’s awake she’s ignoring it so why Wouldnt she also go there you know. Fuck thats good. Mental images to sustain you for a lifetime. All that being said I’m white & only christian in a cultural sense in a culture that is far less intensely culturally christian than America saur Im def not saying this is nec the way to do it but I do think it’d be dead cool

Nicky delving into taoism is something that can be so. And I know you meant that in a canon verse sense but the idea of another au w Nicky as a modern day ~hippy who misunderstood all non-western philosophy in a major way is also pretty funny to me. But no in a canon verse serious way that’s actually so fascinating to explore yeah 

(re: big boi post, bc I figure not rbing it again is less walloftext)

Capitalism Dudley McMahon :( :( :(

CROSSING HIMSELF. The thing wrong w/ Nicky is, as ever, Catholicism. hardcore is flagellation. Joe: LOSE then! Nicky: fuck you so much.

Joe screenshots and retweets a crop of posts w/ the caption ‘yeah, a bell jar’ and giggles out loud, so Nicky kicks him, bodily, off of the bed.

Wanting whatever the keane v yusufnicky is in this au to take place as a staple gun match now

All of the Andy shit. Chefs kiss. Also glory days Andy and her axe Making A Metaphor abt the og dyke flag…fuck… OH ALSO-ALSO, the black parts of the face paint in the labrys-shape

In MY mind palace Nicky and Quynh are the t4t of branch this polycule and she can compare him to all manner of mid-sized predators. All those hobby lobby ‘the fastest way to get to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ needlepoints, but instead it’s ‘u access subspace through the Gender.’ What the FUCK was I talking about.

Having an ‘I’ve connect the dots (I haven’t connected shit)’ re: Booker/Copley parallels, and Andy/Nile parallels. The former as grief as a wound needing to heal, the latter as grief, as infection, which needs intervention. But all of it abt maladaptive coping. Like, Andy needs to address w/e happened with Quynh. And mb the au version of Nile not seeing her family, bc I don’t like to kill them off, is her father’s death/career change/xyz causing her to pull away from them, & she has to deal w/ that.

Is this Copley v merrick then. & Nile coming in clutch w/ the kendo stick. & Booker, as ever, having his neck broken doggy-style (love how dramatic the announcing is)

Sdhjgkdlsq not the ‘lose then’ god their dynamic is just the absolute crème de la crème truly the epitome of like. Puts them in a cage together and notes down their behaviours. <- meant that in a labrat sort of way but hello nickyjoe cage match who says no

The reason this au is so fucking good btw is the combination of like. Actual violence and bodily harm. And also the bodily harm tht comes from kicking ur boyfriend off the bed in a mean and not so gentle way, but its ok bc u kno he can take both it and u, and also you’re doing it at least 25% because it’ll give you an advantage in ur next match. But only 25%. Maybe 30%

Never seen a staple gun match. Disregard the fact that I have 10 tabs open rn to yt videos of wrestling lemme open up a couple more. Agreeing even tho I havent seen one yet because like yeah I mean. yeah. In this situation is it a tag team thing or is it like one on one w one of the two running interference. Either is so fun . <- wait now Im thinking abt the implications of a no DQ match cause obv u can cheat in a no DQ match thats kinda the point r u allowed to bring in other ppl to fight ur fight with u … no idea. Love the idea of it tho.

Also also now Im thinking of a merrick et al v guardofblack blood&guts steelcage match. Of the cool hand ang covered in blood, mjf throwing Jericho off the top variety. Of the booker realises he’s fucked up and sorta refuses to fight back & just sits there bleeding perhaps throwing himself into the punaises (forgot the word) someone brought in bc its the whole ‘i deserve to suffer thing’ variety. Thatd be so annoying. Like the guard would be annoyed extra with him like stop trying to be a martyr a) you are so stupid b) get out of the way I am TRYING to do smth here

OUGH LABRYS FACE PAINT. SECONDING THAT. SO GOOD 

“In MY mind palace Nicky and Quynh are the t4t of branch this polycule” obsessed w u. Giving this its own response to let it breathe like a fine wine Im sipping down in gulps.

Nicky & quynh is deeply underrated as a dynamic <- man who has never done anything himself to actually create a nickyquynh dynamic. Man who has always put Nicky with Andy and quynh with joe. Man who thinks he’s right on both counts because Joe and quynh also deeply underrated. Theres a (severely) unfinished fic in my drafts in which Nicky & quynh r rival wedding planners and Andy & Joe r their right hand men respectively and both couples start dating each other in shameful secrecy & then its like girl what were YOU doing at the satan’s prayer circle that is getting on ur knees to suck c— anyway where were we. Not important. Just saying all their dynamics are everything. ANYWAY YES screaming u access subspace thru the gender. Thesis statement of a very important b-plot somewhere halfway through this “”fic“” 

Maladaptive coping is, to put it mildly, the only thing worth reading abt in fic. sorry. I mean I know I legit cant say that because Ive only written one fic of that variety and its not even on ao3 bc I abandoned it but I contain multitudes I can be a hypocrite as a treat. Yelling yelling yelling abt the wound/infection situation. oh. ‘we could fix each other’ ‘we could also fix each other but we are instead going to make it so much worse. Hey Andy where did u put the blinders Im going to fix them so firmly onto my head.’ & yeah I also think that nile’s familial situation can be like. She just travels so much and has for such a long time from such a young age (olympic wrestling first & now this) all over the country to where her family can hardly follow her around all the time & maybe she goes home a little less than she maybe should and maybe she lets her phone die on purpose sometimes . Maybe she feels shame about utilising violence as a form of entertainment instead of for a Good Cause like her father did. Maybe this shame is entirely unwarranted but she’s too scared to find out bc yk. infection. Etc etc

[takes my shirt off & points @ my hardened jaw at the wrestling function] I fucking love wrestling I love low blows I LOVE THE WAY EDWARDS COMES IN I LOVE PICTURING NILE LIKE THAT. AND I DO MEAN ALL OF IT. SITS DOWN 2 PUT THE KENDO STICK IN HER MOUTH. MAKES SNOW ANGELS ON THE METAL RAMP. NOW THATS THE HASHTAG VIBE. 

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 11: “Recalibrate How I’m Playing This Game” - Caeleb

okay I'm writing a long confessional then going to bed.

Jules was robbed. I was really gonna idol them when Jones/Caeleb told me Jules was getting votes, but Jules was only getting 5, and I naively thought both that Jason wasn't going to flip and Tom wouldn't self vote AGAIN ASKDLJFAF.

I'm frustrated because I love Jules. Jules was robbed and deserved better than having to deal with Alex who like will tell Jules they made a mistake and ugh. I'm frustrated that I didn't idol Jules, even though it wouldn't have been smart and would've put me in a tough game spot, its just all super tricky sigh.

in other news, Jones/Mo/Mitch need to go. I'm super proud of Mo for doing something (like genuinely) and not playing passively, I defo underestimated him, but him and Jones have way too much sway on this tribe, tied to Mitch who is clearly able to work people.

I think a good end-group for me would be Me/Benj/Tom/Julia. I really really like Caeleb but he actually is playing super smart, so I really don't think I can have him sticking around much longer.

I think a good new bootlist is: Jones > Mitch > Mo > Jason > Caeleb

I'm just frustrated because Jules was robbed and really did not deserve that, Mo/Jones are too powerful, and now so is Mitch. I'm gonna idol one of them out, and I'm going to love doing it.

Holy fuck what the fuck that worked. Ok so here’s what just went down, Jules said to Jason that she’d be fine voting out either me or Mitch. People were leaning towards Mitch. We had like 20 minutes left and we started discussing and I threw out to Jones, what if we get Jules out, but she kinda ignored it and carried on with the Mitch plan. Because Jules has a lot of connections I can understand why Jones would be hesitant. So then I throw the pitch rob Caeleb and Mitch throws the pitch to Jason and they’re both on board. But that would of only been five people. Meaning it most likely would of tied so we were like ok I guess we’ll just vote Mitch. BUT THEN BENJ GETS ONLINE and he’s like “Yeah I’ll vote Jules.” SO I SCRAMBLE BACK TO CAELEB LIKE WAIT VOTE JULES WE HAVE THE NUMBERS. SAME WITH JONES AND JASON. WE GET JULES OUT. Which of course is sad because she’s literally a sweetheart and she’s super funny, but she had so many people in her corner and her and Ali combined was a scary combo. BUT I MEAN I HAVE A COOL GAME MOVE IN MY POCKET NOW THAT I DID (with Mitch) BUT WOW ME.

Whew chile!!! I must admit that vote was VERY scary and VERY hectic. I thought for a moment my game was ending. Thankfully my social relationships with people allowed me to stay and send the person who was targeting me home (Jules). Now this is GREAT for me because i trusted Jules the least on the merge tribe. The communication thing never worked out between the two of us but i still find her to be a very nice person :). In regards to the vote, Mo/Caeleb, Benj, Jason, and Jones all voted to save me. To me, I feel like this means im in a really good position because everyone likes me enough to SAVE me. Up until 5 minutes before the deadline, I thought i was done for. I gotta be careful with who I work with in the future because my threat level is rising. People in touchy subjects saw me as the one who thinks they are running the game but are not, but man is this far from the truth. I'd like to say that although I didn't know what was going on COMPLETELY, I still pretty much helped/forced the target onto the person who went home. Ian- Told Alex about how I suspected Jason and Ian of being a duo (correct assumption according to ali) and everyone ended up splitting between the two (I did not care who went). Alex- I pushed very hard for alex to go because he was so dang controlling and i found that very threatening. Jules- targeted me first but I never trusted her because of how little we spoke. When she decided to target me it was the icing on the cake. Hopefully these next few rounds are smooth sailing because we NEED easy votes for at least a little bit.

okay so i am trying SO hard for immunity, like its not even funny. i think i have 100+ points right now, with more videos uploading and with more planned photos tomorrow. immunity would be SO sweet, because that'd guarantee me a spot in the F8, and with my idol F7.

in other news. if i haven't said it enough, it must be said again. BENJ IS SUCH A KING. like today he told me he wants to go to F4 with Julia and Tom. I truly, truly could have shed and wept real tears. That is exactly the F4 I want, like EXACTLY ,and Benj agrees, and we are going to make it HAPPEN.

He also wants to separate Mo/Jones this round... and like honestly, I'm so down. Like I think he wants to vote off Mo versus Jones which I think is a bad idea, since Jones is a better talker and more of a threat, but his argument about Jones being a shield makes some sense.

my ideal bootlist moving forwards for the season, although it requires like julia/tom to stick with me and benj pretty tightly, is:

Mo/Jones > Mitch > Jason > Mo/Jones > Caeleb > F4: Me/Tom/Benj/Julia

and also since i love doing this for no reason, this would be my ranking of those left if i was to go to jury this round:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Benj > Caeleb > Julia > Mo > Tom

Mitch is SO savvy, and so likable, and I could see as a definite winner, having survived so much. I can't decide if Jones is a threat because she is just so likable, or if she is actually palying super well, but I have both her and Jason very high in my opinion. Benj is so smart, I feel like he probably isn't considered as such by the other threats, but I hear him talk game - he is super woke. Caeleb is actually playing a very smart game too, flipping back and forth. I definitely underestimated him in early merge, his MIND. Julia I think is super game-savvy, just her style gets in her own way sometimes. Mo I feel like definitely did stuff last vote, but I see him as Jones' shadow/goat right now so would need to see much more. Tom I'm stuck because him self-voting twice I think almost definitely excludes him from winning so its hard to tell how I'd feel about him in an FTC. the main thing is that... we shall see.

BUT I AM WINNING IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sending this now bc I forgot. Jason beat me in reward OOPS but I can still possibly win immunity,,,,,? Maybe?

Eek me at jules being voted out, honestly i didnt really know what was going to happen at that tribal for the sole fact that everything started moving whilst i was asleep but im kinda shocked that it ended up being jules.... Like i personally wouldnt have made that move right now maybe in like 2 more rounds. Its quite scary the fact that mitch got so many people to turn on jules when i thought she was quite the loved player. So I've gotta keep an eye out for him he's probably playing the best game atm but i think ill try to take him out sooner rather than later

I think I might have to recalibrate how I’m playing this game. I honestly didn't think I was all that close to Jules so her cursing me kinda surprised me. SO, that means I think a lot of people are gonna be cursing me in the upcoming rounds. Not that I am planning a lot of blindsides, I just feel a lot closer to the people actually left. Julia might be the only one that wouldn't curse me at this point, but also she might because she doesn't like me all that much. And being cursed a bunch might put a really large target on my back too.

y'all i just found another idol im SCREECHING. and its a boujee one too, a sapphire idol. I'm so AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i know where 2/3 idols are for sure, I'm truly screaming.

This was me an Mitch on call when we realized we had the numbers to vote out Jules

heres the thing, i prefer the selfie scavenger hunt when im on a team because that way im motivated to get stuff done out of fear of letting everyone down. where as by myself, i let myself down all the time. ali is scary good at comps and im lazy.

ALI FOUND THE MERGE IDOL AND ITS A SAPPHIRE IDOL AHHH!!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM/US BUT ALSO LOWKEY PISSED BECAUSE I GET ALL THE BRIDGE STEPS AND THEN HE GETS LUCKY AT THE VERY END LMAO. AGAIN.

BUT OH WELL ATLEAST ITS NOT SOMEONE ELSE!!

And if I had any doubts (I never had) about him betraying me before I have 0 now.. u like have to really trust someone to tell them u have 2 idols LOL I could literally expose so much right now

BUT IM NOT GONNA WOO!!! BEST DUO IVE EVER HAD! Like I know it will be hard to beat him at the end but idc I want that duo story for us

Literally an idol magnet king I knew I chose the best ally on day 1

sapphire idols sound kinda annoying tho cuz u cant choose who its played on . like what if ur plan actually works and u idol the person u wanted gone LOL

lowkey would rather a normal idol ?? anyways ali went off in immunity and its final 9 idk who will go but I kinda want like mo gone (king) but we have no strategic bond so.. plus he will slip by to the end otherwise

I doubt that plan is gonna work tho cuz idk how to lead votes!! im flop sheep!

Update on idol hunt - I'm killing johnny

Update apparently I’m running a vote KSKSKKFMFMFFK take back EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT NOT NEEDING POWER LMAOOOO

ok so Storytime

I’m talking to Tom at like 5:00-6:00 ish, and he says he hasn’t heard anything but he’d be down to vote Julia if other people were voting Julia (at this point this is the only name and it was said by Tom and that’s it)

At this point I tell Mo what Tom said (Bc tom and I were talking about Mo) and he said he wasn’t surprised Julia’s name was brought up

Talk to Mitch at like 7:00 ish and he’s apparenrly being targeted by Ali and for whatever reason I have this hero complex and I wanna save him all of a sudden?? I also feel like he’ll be a big shield down the road that everyone else would want out over me so it makes much more sense to keep him? SO I tell him about Julia.

I Run to Mo, tell him about Julia plan he’s on board. MOs talking to Caeleb, and Jason wouldn’t go behind Mitch’s back. So that’s already 5 people I think voting Julia, 6 if we include Tom and 7 if Benj also knows. Which I’ll probs tell him.

So ya??? Turned an idea into a plan!! I’m doing that y’all. Idk?? I’m proud. I don’t need need this much power after this round or else my ego will be the size of my dick but!!! Idk guys I’m proud of myself.

(Literally only 35 minutes later)

Literally having a stroke tonight laid ease

Uhm apparently Tom/Jason/Ali had an alliance and were trying to get me out and tried throwing me under the bus to Julia and tried saying shit I didn’t say,, so ya,,, :)

Tom tried twisting it like I was the one who threw Julia’s name out bc apparently she’s inactive? Which is cute,, I said jack shit about that. So ya.

Um I’m voting Tom tonight now. I’m an indecisive bitch tho so it might change but. Fuck Tom. We gotta break up this alliance apparently. Julia’s the only person that’s said shit to me this whole day about what’s happening so I’m more likely to believe her than anyone else sooo ya. Fuck Tom. Fuck these men.

[kyohiba]

snow white + prince cursing. jiang cheng and wen ning fix it post canon au

WEN NING TAKING A BLOW TO THE CHEST FOR JIN LING N JC TAKING AN ARROWN TO THE HEART FOR WEN NING LMAO

ssyifpfff🌙 i dig it, havent thot much of it tho

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 but the idea of wen ning trailing behing sizhui and jc trailing behing jin ling n thm meeting while they keep their respective babies safe os *kisses filgers* DOLCE

May 16 i feel like a whole 4th eye of mine opened to that... but my mind probably wont be able to focus much. i hate how i can only hyperfixate in one or two ships at time

ISNT IT SO DOLCE? FORTÍSSIMO!

yeeting patriarch jiang cheng's hostility decreasing as they kept meeting...

yeeting patriarch perhaps wn and jc could get my ass more than jc with huaisang !?

but nothing will ever get ur ass more thn jc/happiness will it

jiang cheng n huaisang is v Aesthethic bc huaisang is a pretty pretty hoe

ssyifpfff🌙 bUT W WEN NING THERES A LOT OF ANGST

May 16 jc + happiness is all that matters

but... the sweet angst road of wn and jc...

yeeting patriarch IT CAN AND IT WILL LEAD TO HAPPINESS !?

and yea the Appeal of jc ano nhs is that huaisang is Very Pretty plus his scheming charm. but we arent given much canon background to work on this. not that it matters, lord knows we built the content when we really want to make anything

but The Flavor, of the canon background content for jc and wn Is There And It's Stronf

yeeting patriarch nevermind what i said im already ass deep into it. i love both jc and wn way too much, the appeal got me immediately

ssyifpfff🌙 ALSO BC WUXIAN DITCHED BOTH OF THEM FOR THT WANGJI D LMAO

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 them bonding over how dumb wuxian would act "he would float in the water n pretend he drowned" "yea he told a-yuan he needed to be buried in order to grow big n tall like a raddish" they look at each other n want to laugh but jc doenst know if hes comfortable enough for tht n wn doenst know if hes allowed to

May 16 yeeting patriarch REPRESSED DUMB BABIES LAUGH TO UR HEARTS CONTENTS TOGETHER :(((((

but oh god, the way jiang cheng is,

their road would be So Long

yeeting patriarch another slow burn, uh...

and then so much confusion and conflicted angsty feelings along the way when everything is better because jc was almost forgetting that..........wen ning is dead :) hes a corpse. what future awaits them. this is terrifying

yeeting patriarch ...why cant i have anything nice and just soft. i need to throw angst in or i die?

ssyifpfff🌙 its awful its a terrible idea to ship tht what r u doin

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 but wen ning being a pure boy, dogs would love him, dogs would gather around him bc he has a Good Aura, n jianc cheng just observes from afar thinkin How can he be so approachable whn hes a fierce corpse

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 like it would have to start w jc thinkin wen ning is less thn a human u understand

May 16 yeeting patriarch

ssyifpfff🌙 SAJGDASDF

May 16 IM CRYING imagine one day jiang cheng finds wen ning, on the floor, on top of him there are like four different dogs all swaying their tails all that hyper bullshit dogs do.

the incident repeats quite a few times

yeeting patriarch jc notices dogs are drawn to wen ning?

ssyifpfff🌙 he notices MAYBE?? hes not a dangerous zombie after all???

May 16 he lets it slip and asks how wuxian reacted to it

as wwx is terrified of dogs

and wen ning is like. where we... spent most of our time... there were no dogs

(awkward silence timel

ah. ruined it again.

okay 2 take

when they're on those night hunts, wen ning + sizhui & jiang cheng + jin ling

fairy starts being Too Friendly towards wen ning

both jiang cheng and jin ling were initially taken aback by it

yeeting patriarch but as the time goes on... it Softens their heart

ssyifpfff🌙 iT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BC FAIRY IS A SPIRITUAL DOG N IT WOULDNT NVR BE FRIENDLY TO AN EVIL GHOUL SO IT RLY MAKES THM SEE THT WEN NING ISNT A BAD GUY

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 also take 2 on tht dog thing, wen ning is like "ah wei wuxian made me chase any dogs away, i quite like dogs but i had to" to remind jc of the puppies he had to give away bc of wwx lmao :)

May 16 yeeting patriarch THEY START REALIZING WEN NING IS THE PUREST ANGEL... and opening up, in their tsun ways, with him

yeeting patriarch i like how the canon wen ning art is him with a ginger cat, but for the sake of jiangning we made him a dog person

i honestly picture him being the snow white os mdzs, just all animals gathering around him

bird perching on his shoulders, deer eating from his hands. jiang cheng confused af

hes Prince Not Charming

ssyifpfff🌙 Prince Cursing, if u will

May 16 yeeting patriarch WEN NING SNOW WHITE OF MDZS AND HIS PRINCE CURSING JIANG CHENG IM YELLINGGFFKDJSKSK

yeeting patriarch jiang cheng going thru the trees and shit then he finds wen ning all surrounded by all animals cutely around him, the birds singing, some squirrels on the top of his head, a butterfly kissing his nose and suddenly the scene seem to have 💖Sparkles 💖 around. jiang cheng is like *rubs his eye and looks again* What

ssyifpfff🌙 "hey you... you have some animals on you" n wen ning was just super still he only focuses on jc "Oh yes. they do this sometimes. its ok i enjoy it"

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 "everytime i wake up theres a few little ones on me, they must think im a rock or something" jiang cheng, internally, seein all the animals: CLEARLY THEY ENJOY IT TOO???

May 16 yeeting patriarch JIANG CHENG MACHINE BROKE

ssyifpfff🌙 MEAN JIANG CHENG.EXE STOPPED WORKING

May 16 PRECISELY HENSKLDGSKLS

i would like the idea of, somewhere farther into the future,

some cultivator bitch being mean to wen ning and by instinct jiang cheng ends up standing for wen 5

wen ning*

but then hes a sect leader and...

yknow how it wouldnt work

yeeting patriarch BUT A NYARI CAN DREAM!?

THEY CAN AT LEAST BE ... LIKE.... PHILTATOS

ssyifpfff🌙 MOST BELOVED

May 17 jiang cheng has responsibilities but thEY CAN BE LIKE YOU KNOW.... CASUAL

ssyifpfff🌙 they dont gotta marry. not every couple can be wangxian

May 17 PHILTATOSSSSSSSS

tbh im all in for casual couples too

yeeting patriarch not everyone needs or can have Marriage

hmmmmmm the more jc starts seeing The Light in wn, when they're at the middle of the road,

yeeting patriarch more tangled his emotions get?

he was supposed to LOATHE wen ning but then he sees what happened wasnt wen nings fault. hes angry, who to blame then? wuxian! but it also isnt entirely wwx's fault he lost the control, the dark cultivation is a dangerous path after all... and wwx had a lot on his shoulders... and most of all: it was the only path he could follow without his golden core :) the very golden core that now resides inside jc. who should he blame? who should he hate?? Himself???

yeeting patriarch goddammit can i stop with the suffering

me: snow white au hehe you, chaotic bastard: what if jiang cheng hated himself lmao

i hate specifically tht iT MAKES SENSE

ssyifpfff🌙 HE SPENT. OVER A DECADE BLAMING WEN NING N WUXIAN N TO REALIZE HE WAS WRONG, HE WASTED ALL THOSE YEARS. WHOS HE GONNA TURN THT HATE TOWARD??? HIMSELF OFC!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!!1

May 17 HOLD UP THAT I GRAB BOTH OF US TO JUMP INTO THE HELL HOLE BUT I CAN ALSO SAVE US

listen up,

one day all those feelings that keep growing and bottling up inside jc overflow and he explodes in yelling and tears and etc

wen ning, whom was with him, witness all that

yeeting patriarch and tries to soothe his state of mind

yeeting patriarch telling him that it's no one's fault. none of them couldve known what would happen. all sides had their good intentions here and there, but unfortunately fates can twist it in a way they never expected

BUT THEN jc returns with an "then why do u look like u blame yourself as well?" BECAUSE WEN NING DOES

yeeting patriarch sorry apparently the half brain cell i have working, only does suffering hours

"THEN WHY DO U BLAME URSELF"

nyari u sAID U COULD SAVE US

ssyifpfff🌙 wen ning is like "..............." jiang cheng: i know it wasnt anyones fault but then what am i supposed to feel? who am i supposed to hate??"

May 17 yeeting patriarch IM LAUGHINGS O MUCH IM NOT BRSTJINENSKS

wen ning is like No one. there isnt any1 to blame anymore

ssyifpfff🌙 im franctically tryin to make it bETTER NYARI LEND ME A HAND DAM IT

May 17

MY THROAT HURTS IM TOO BROKE LIKE (MANIC LAUGHTER)

yeeting patriarch okay lemme get myself back together and try to offer some fix it

yeeting patriarch me: *shaking, weakly offering a tiny ass pink hello kitty band aid* This Will Fix Everything (the hell hole im offering the band aid for is like 17cm)

yeeting patriarch wen ning goes confident mode again and says that he cant help it as much jc and wwx, all of them will feel guilty no matter what anyone says. they tried their best but it backfired and they will need, they have to, learn how to live in terms with it. not forgetting, but still forgiving themselves and each other

wen ning obv has the wisdom of some1 who has died, seen death, been death, and come back to life

he has an appreciation for the little things no others would have

if any1 could emotionally guide jc it wOULD BE HIM1!

ssyifpfff🌙 "i have regrets too, but theres no choice for any of us but to live w them n learn"

May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 ALSO

May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 i think wen nings sensibility woULD BE SO GOOD FOR JC, hes always tense he needs a break of him just being so still tht birds can perch on his shoulders

May 17

WEN NINGGGGGGGGG

yeeting patriarch he'll literally become jc's heaven sent angel... his solace and calm

like, after that breakdown and the things wen ning said

yeeting patriarch jiang cheng actually does feel... Lighter

wen ning boutta be jiang chengs therapist

ssyifpfff🌙 its what he needs

May 17 but as jiang cheng starts dealing better with his internal demons

he starts seeing more too that wen ning isnt only light

wen ning carries his pain too, inevitably

and jc starts to help wn as well

yeeting patriarch each other's company start being the healing they needed?

woke

ssyifpfff🌙 jiang cheng teached wn confidence and wen ning teaches jiang cheng stillness and softness

May 17 i teared up here

after The Wen Ning Effect, and jiang cheng softening. people of his sect start to be... less afraid of him? AND BETTER, the respect level only grows!

jiang cheng realizing there is strength in softness too

that to be tender doesnt mean to be weak

of course his actions arent Oh, Super Obvious as he is a tsun

yeeting patriarch but u can feel The Difference on his aura

YOU HAVE TO BE SOFT TO BE STRONG JIANG CHENG

ASKJDAJSDGF

ssyifpfff🌙 I KNOW THAT WHEN LOVE IS LOST..............

May 17 yeeting patriarch I LOVE HOW IN SYNC WE ARE MY MIND ALSO WENT SOFT TO BE STRONF .MP3

ssyifpfff🌙 WE'VE KNOWN IT ALL ALONG THE TRUTH IS............ YOU HAVE TO BE S

May 17 yeeting patriarch ME, ON THE FLOOR, SOBBING, SINGING ALONF,

ssyifpfff🌙 EXTREME MOOD RN

May 17 yeeting patriarch we did done it again and again... i cannot believe it

honestly if the ppl in his sect see tht jc has the ghost general over for tea they'd be like Wow sect leader cheng rly is amazing

ssyifpfff🌙 hes so fearless

May 17 im tearing up again

HMMMMMMMMM his relationship with wen ning also being a bridge for some fixing for his relationship with wuxian...........

takes so much time and it's slow

but

after he took it all in, and especially wen nings words that he shouldn't forget to forgive, and has to live with it

he starts Understanding the events. that is was inevitable. and that the anger would not help nor be good for any of them

yeeting patriarch that for the ones around them (like jin ling) they need to... overcome it

*sobbing* wen ning even helping him to overcome his inferiority complex !?

yeeting patriarch making jc see that this and this sides of him are greater and make up for this and this other ones. that he, too, was of vital importance on here and there

tht the ppl around him look up to him, tht they dont compare him to wuxian, tht the strenght he has shown isnt just coming from his golden core but from his choices as well

from his leadership

also jiang cheng realizing yanli wouldnt want him to hate

ssyifpfff🌙 the worst part abt yanlis death is tht we dont ever hear her last words

May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 she doesnt get to finish sayin thm, we dont know what she was gonna say to wuxian n i firmly believe tht if she has finished n she had said she didint blame him, thn jiang cheng wouldnt have been as hung up on hate as he was

May 17 yeeting patriarch

yeeting patriarch tbh yanli... she just Understood more. faster than the two dense dumbasses

SHE WAS SO BRIGHT

AND MATURE

ssyifpfff🌙 I MISS HER EVERYDAY

May 17 and it's like. Obvious she wouldnt want them to be that way. she would want them to understand the terms of the situation and overcome it TOGETHER

IM SO SAD SHE DESERVED BETTER :(((

but after jiang cheng learns how to deals with his demons,

and most important of all: Grows (emotionally)

he starts seeing things a bit more like his sister would

yeeting patriarch WWYLD (What Would YanLi Do)

yeeting patriarch hmm now what's left is his daddy issues

WWYLD!!!!!

sadasdfsf the fuck jiang dad

ssyifpfff🌙 can u believ wen ning is jiang chengs love+fear era

May 17 hmmmmmmmm let's say that as he watches himself raise jin ling he starts to understand his dad couldn't be easy on him. and that he Had To be softer on wwx's for his situations

i cant go deeper on this one because his dad messed up

yeeting patriarch but let's say that was really the case,

ssyifpfff🌙 yes theres no excuse for his dad, he had a soft spot for wwx n his favoritism showed

May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 its more like, its important for jc to Know it doesnt matter, he grew up to be a good leader n tht proved his dad wrong

May 17 IT'S HARD TO FIND A SITUATION OUT OF HIS DAD REASONS he messed up

BUT!!! YES!!!!!!!

learn to let go of those feelings towards his dad

yeeting patriarch and the day it finally fully clicked inside him that he became an amazing sect leader, he proved it

it's also important that he could realize having wwx golden core inside him means as if wwx really kept his promise

he stayed by his side

yeeting patriarch a very important piece of wwx will always be with him

[apartments4rent]

alright bitches its 1am time TO FEEL

lol idrk if its gonna be feelsy but ive been thinking aboutthoid since i was at work and i wantto write it down and throw it out this the woeld b4 i forget it?? but i sont hink i will NAYWAY READ MORE??? bc this is gonna be a n incoherent mess and its 1am so idc about seplling anythings thing right ok looooooool

udk what started this, like what lead me to this thought but at work today i was like “MARV IN LOVE!! OH WAIT i t hought of it bc i heard ‘nicotine’ by p!atd andi was like “hey i put this song on ambmarv playlist too,,, i wonder how theyre doing” thne i got to thinking bout marv in love!! and i didnt rmbr [much] of what i had alread ywritten on this blog but i just went off and started thinkin boute when marv relizes he loves amber and my heart SOARD lol then it sank again bc i was like “aw :^( amb if scared to return his feewings bc immortal :^((((” then i started thinking about when marv realizes he loves her , he resolves to tell her!! bc damn it she makes him happy and he wants to make her happy toO!!! he wants to show her how she makes him feel!!! he wants to share his LOVE!!! and at everyopportunity whar he tries to ttell her, she manages to avoid or ignore or change the somthg or realize she has to do smthg over there hahah

THEN I GOT TO THINKING  about this idea i had, like one of the first ones i had awhan we firse came op with the ay where amb was gonna go on a date with someone she thot was speciall but it turned out to be her old nemisis making fun of her and she gets rlly drunk and sad and calls marv ovr to her a partment [just for self conttect, i feel like this might take place b4 marv realizes he caught feelings?? but not to far off wither lol]  so yeh shes drunk and sad bc guess what!! shes actually a really lonely person!!! she, quote, “CURSED herself to live a lonely unfulfilling life bc she said she wasnt to see the world??” so yeh shes sad bc she cant make meaningful connections with people anymore bc it hurts to much when she outlives them so to avoid this, she doesnt stay in one place for too long anymore but sc of this she also keeps the people she cares most deeply about at arms lenthg bc shes just gonn lleave anagi anyway?? so why bother twih the emotional crapUNLUCKY FOR HER < shes also a very VERY empathetic person and it hurts her more to have to dothis !! so ok shes rambling anf crying on marv and she KISSSSSSSSSSSES HIM >:^0 its a very messy kiss and marvs too shocked to reciprocate bc asfter the kisss she continues to cry and bury her face in his chest, wherein he finds it only necessary to hold he class and stroker har till she falls asleep on him,, marv lays awake for a long time just,, thinking bout all the stuff shes just dumpedon him and how it sorta changes his perspective on her a little,, i mean at this point he cares for her deeply , just as he does sor the reat of his friends, but this sheds a whole new light on her,,, shes more than what she projects to the world,,, tho she aopeats to have all the answers, she i is infact very scared and vulnerable just like the reat of us,, so he probably naps for a few hrs b4 amb SHOOTS UP IN BED when she wakes up, still in his arms. marv being a light sleeper, immediatly notices and thinks somethings worng, “YEAH smthgs wrong, why r u  in my bed,, oh god is that my lipstick smudges on ur,, oh god WE DIDT??” “ABSOLUTELY NOT I WOULD NEVER” “GOOD omg,, i barely remember anything that happaened last night afte,r,, ugh ,,, after THEY showed udpd,, guh,,  i m sorry for, uh,, botherin g u marv” “ Ohno, it was no bother im glad i could, uh, hlp in a,, small way i guess,,” “yea h,,,,,,,, i didnt say antyhin,,, wierd,, to u last night,,, sis i?” inside marvs head: calculating meme “,,,,,,no, nothing too strange” ANYEAY i kinda went of f onthat tangent lol i didnt ome up with ALL that dialgue thinking at wokr lol bUT HU,, igues thats the start of thingd bceming more? ?for them ....?? alls i kno is htat when marv finally mangaes to cornere amber to have a talk anbotu shifellin s, they have another emotional feels jam and amb admits in i not drunt stupor, that shes scared to allow herself to experince that kind of love again bc “it always hurts, everytime, it hurts” and then they talk bkh balh blah THEY KISS!! CONGRATS UR A THING NO!!

nayway this also lled me  to thinkig OH i said b4 that marv had agf in college bUT hmmmm im like whAT IF,, hes neveer had a gf bf4  >:^0 crazy thot i kno but ill sleep on it [and other such thots] and mayhaps sidccus further on thes kiddos that i havent touching in MONTHDS!!!!

OK GOODINGHT!!!

its 2am now