#ur actually much nicer than most anons

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

[wheelie-sick]

(crutches anon) thanks for the feedback on smartcrutches. you mentioned ur current ones are working great for you, do you mind sharing the brand and features that are helpful? i have hEDS and a deformed patella if that’s relevant

also best of luck with your pediatric ot journey!! i want to be a pt/ot :)

hell yeah another pre-OT/PT!!!!!! good luck!!! I'm sure you'll do so well 💕💕

I currently have millennial in-motion crutches I've had them for about a year and a half now and they're wonderful.

they have an ergonomic handle, I find it better than the smart crutch handle but it's certainly not the most comfortable out there. it is better than average from what I've seen and heard. to some extent it's just very hard to get a perfect crutch handle that works for everyone.

they have a closed cuff with a joint. I vastly prefer closed cuff because it means I can move my arms without my crutches falling/needing to set them somewhere.

it has a spring in the base, this is my favorite feature. it really softens vibration on my upper body (I notice it most in my neck) towards the end of my time with smart crutches I was genuinely in agony because at the time my craniocervical instability was pretty bad and the crutches just jolted my neck with every step. I don't have as much of a problem with my millennial crutches. it makes such a huge difference and since you have hEDS I'm sure you will appreciate the softened vibration because it gets so painful with other crutches

they're also actually durable. they're made with high quality materials that have withstanded mountain climbing and other rough usage. they have been dropped, fallen out of cars, just... so much. and they don't have a single dent, not a single chip, a couple of scratches but no actual damage to them. (they also don't scratch that easily, smart crutches scratch so easily) basically, they cost a little more but the materials used actually stand up the cost (same cannot be said for smart crutches)

I think the biggest challenge with them for me are the crutch tips. the crutch has atypical tips size so you're stuck with the ones that came with it and are forced to order from millennial when you need to replace them. the tips aren't bad I just wish I had more options.

they also are a little on the heavier side for crutches. I don't really notice, they are lighter than smart crutches by a significant amount, and the weight is distributed in a nicer way, but there are definitely lighter crutches out there.

[frostbite-the-bat]

Your roblox pngs are so gosh darn cool!! Never seen em done like that before, the poses are so fluid and the lightings just right. What's your process like?

gaah!! thank you so much! it's actually a little less conventional than you'd think - but it works for me! idk how others do it anyway, i figured this out on my own. THIS guide will be a bit messier because it's late and i was talking to others during this but... hopefully it'll help!

i actually use the pose editor in a roblox game (or EXPERIENCE i ur roblox itself) named 'catalog avatar creator'. it exists to create and preview outfits - but you can also take cool pics in there an customize your poses (and even your items!)

you can even change background to various greenscreens, so that helps! i use this regularly to plan oufits before i may want to buy them! for example i haven't even bought the things for the tv head avatar i showed.

bu anyways, lemme show you how i do my pngs or 'renders'!!

first you either make an outfit in there... or just use your regular avatar! my current avatar is my silly space kitty i concepted in this game, so i'll use that to demonstrate.

FIRST you wanna click here on the sparkle button i masterfully highlighted in mspaint

2) and right away you see the pose editor!! click it!!

okay, at first glance THIS MAY BE SCARY!! but if you're even LIGHTLY familiar with even the most basic of like... 3d stuff WHICH I KNOW NOT EVERYONE IS - you will do swell. a lot of roblox editing things use this sorta system so you might've practiced there before? (i sure have in tprr's animatronic oc editor!)

3) what you wanna do is just select a body part you want to move. it will then highlight on your avatar and you can use the balls to turn em in it's respective axis. some angles will not work as well so move your camera while you do this

(but have a good camera point set in mind! you may wanna do camera trick stuff in your pose depending on what angle you're at. for example i disattach the tail from the body and make it slightly visible on the side. you aren't able to tell! makes it look nicer.)

to MOVE stuff and not just ROTATE it click the little arrows thing! you will move and not rotate that way. just play around with it :] don't be worried to de-attach things - roblox isn't exactly realistic so don't worry to mess around w that!

4) just pose it! go wacky! here's a few things to keep in mind

certain body parts are connected! and ofc, their respective items - i will cover this later.

for example, the pelvis, if moved, moves the torso as well. if you wanna make a floaty pose, move up the pelvis and rotate it first and then the chest (and other parts of the body)

references for poses may not hurt, but being an artist who likes drawing silly poses i'd say i have a DECENT enough grasp of good poses - so that definitely helps with the Flow of my poses you (anon) mentioned! practice makes perfect!

ALSO, you can save poses!

anyways, here's a pose i came up with!

but that's not all! i wanna move the items!

5) well, just click "apply" and re-enter the effects menu!!

then you click whatever you wanna edit and... boom! fancy new window! now you can play around with your item here - i won't explain that, just have fun!

but to move your item around just click "transform item" - it'll bring up the same options you had before while moving body parts!

aand... here's the result!

so, the pose is done... but we wanna prepare it for editing and actually take a picture! well, first, we can't use this background. so...

6) click the gear and then select 'environment' and select a good green, blue or pink screen! i have to settle with what's best since my fella is rainbow. (whatever doesn't clash with the edges of the character is best!!)

here you can also set the lightning! if you go back and pick 'camera & lightning'

I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU SET A LOW EXPOSURE AS IT MAKES LIGHTER COLORS LESS "FUZZY" AND **WILL** MAKE EDITING IN A SECOND EASIER! it makes it darker but you can edit that, too!

anyways... here's my final product after fiddling with the lightning!

7) take a pic! you can either angle your camera as is which is a bit limited... or... free-cam! which is a bit better but dear GOD is it annoying to control. (tho holding shift makes it less sensitive)

so... here's the final stage we'll do in-game! one last thing i did to make it look better is for a second turn my graphics to max and THEN take a roblox screenshot. (then turn it back down to not deepfry my computer)

honestly, i could've turned the avatar to face the camera with their body a little more when tuning my camera, but i'm not gonna fix that now i don't have much time now LOL let's speed thru this.

8) the TEDIOUS PART. yeeting this into an editing program.

your editing program WILL require anti-aliasing OFF options, a bucket tool and if you really wanna fix issues - a selection tool and just.. layers. and brushes. i use SAI 2 so it's specific to SAI 2.

if you did your camera settings right, you will have a pretty crisp outline everywhere, unless you're me and fucked up here. but this can be fixed. we don't want this fuzz that much

well, i use sai which has a nice bucket tool! i set it to paint with invisible/eraser bucket and adjust the rance of similar color. may take a few tries to get right pick 'similar colored area' or ' all similar colored pixels'.

personally, i pick all similar pixels.

AND TURN ANTI ALIASING **OFF**!! CRISP PIXELLY LOOK

before i do anything tho, i use the selection tool and pick up everything that's the same color as the background in it - being pink.

you can also use the selection pen!

some get tricky and pixel precise... remember if you use sai that the pen is fuzzy - but selection tool is more precise (not the lasso - that's fuzzier too)

here's the goober with all the Protected parts selected. then just invert the selection... (pointing at how u do that quickly)

9) ok NOW you get that bucket tool and just tap at the pink and watch it BE GONE... ofc, make sure you set it to transparent/eraser bucket tool

BOOM. gone. b-but... ENHANCE...!

NOT PERFECT!! CLICK THOSE OFF TOO! remove manually with pixel tool or whatevz if you must

10) look around the edges of the image and look for any fuzz like this... remove it! and if there's any jaggedies...? you can edit those in yourself, usually it's small enough to clear up yourself. (you can also just - save with a diff name, reopen original, copy the section you erased/has jaggedies and paste it into this edited version)

depending on what bg / greenscreen color options you chose (and yoour avatar's colors) and how careful you were... this may take a time to edit! it depends!

also, see texture mess up? depending on the texture and ur skill/patience... goot bye! i usually keep cover ups to simple things like this myself and i can edit things pretty well, too. u can embrace some roblox silliness and imperfections!

10) color adjustments i do to brighten it up...! once i crop the screenshot around the avatar to be a good size i copy it and paste it into the image again

and i set the layer effect of the top pasted image to SCREEN and fiddle with the settings...! (ofc, you can also use other settings - or even the regular color layer settings - but this one's more straight forward to me!)

then i may double check for stuff but... we're done! here's your finished "render" !!!

i don't have time to proof-read this currently, so i hope everything makes sense and there aren't any weird typos or left-overs from previous editing.

hope this was helpful! and not TOO long.

[ask-utayaboy]

thought abt it more and I feel like u would have a hatterene that could just. vibe check you whenever u do smth u don't actually want to or when u need to eat or rest or smth and maybe u don't even realize...love how they'll just smack anyone who doesn't pass the vibe check, but I could see u raising a timid hattena so maybe they'll be nicer abt it...?

an audino can sense what ppl are feeling too with their...feelers and one could probably make u feel better. in conclusion these pokemon would definitely make sure u get the rest u need and that u regain ur strength!!!

(can kabru take care of himself? theoretically yes. will he tho, of his own volition? very debatable...tbh I get it tho I often forget to take care of my own needs when I get distracted enough...)

and YES pokemon do work and get along w ppl often!!! it's kinda weird cause some honestly just look and act like ppl and then some ppl straight up turn into pokemon? and humans also evolved from pokemon...? so it's kinda all over the place tbh but it's fun you'll see them just...working like, normal jobs alongside ppl and out and about???

we gotta build u a full team frfr so far I think I've mentioned lapras, lucario, chatot, hattena/hatterene, audino..? hmmmm I feel like it'd be funny if one of ur pokemon were particularly difficult. oh there's the dragon types and everything too!!! idk I feel like there's def a lot of other pokemon that would fit for u too

(ok but does kabru know pokemon is a fictional series or does he just think pokemon are real somewhere now...wait does he know we're like, from another world...?! ALSO STOPPPP i love pokemon too it's my most consistent and long-lasting hyperfixation omg literally ever since I could remember <3 if these asks are too long just lmk I went off before I even knew it 💔)

- 🥣 anon

This was a long read but definitely an interesting one!! I don't have much to say on it other than I'm glad you came back to update me on my hypothetical 'team' !!

Though I'd for sure be iffy on all this if it were real, it's not all that bad given they seem to be fictional. Thank you, 🥣 Anon!

[blueiight]

The biggest WTF for me is when book fans are like well Louis is a liar in the books about why xyz didn't happen in the show and I'm like well if he's lying about everything then why am I watching this show?? are you gonna retell the entire first season with what really happened? cause I feel like the show is wasting my time then.

Any and all Lestat propaganda is lost on me. Anytime someones like well in the books he's not like this, I'm like I dont care that's not what he's like on the show so stfu.

Also I have no fucking clue what ppl are talking about with daniel + armand most of the time like I don't understand how the fuck s1 hints at anything other than an adversarial relationship at the moment.

im assuming ur the same anon as here..

and its like yeah its obvious some things didnt happen the way they did cuz its louis’s point of view & we will get another look at certain scenes but if the whole season is a total lie thats a waste of tv lol. granted the book iwtv narrative is more straightforwardly dark. theres no two interviews theres just one interview in the 70s (which was contemporary. iwtv published in 1976) .and the most that’s ‘contradicted’ in that imo is.. of course getting lestat’s point of view and all but also. ok. so you know how in the show lestat kills the tenor and clicks out on louis saying embrace what you are? in the book, lestat did the same thing but it was w/ these sex workers/prostitutes instead. in tvl lestat is like well actually these women were robbing the seamen so i wasnt the bad guy. this is actually why i think show lestat is nicer than book lestat! not rly cuz he did the same shit to lily. seriously tho book and show les were twins separated at birth and sent off to different universes imo. & in the book louis links w/ lestat whos bog body down bad holding a child and turning his back on him its irony its melodrama and we’re never sure if that scene actually happened. according to les well it didnt and louis was just a drama queen embellishing. thats what louis is, a drama queen embellishing things LOL. & the suspicion around armand is warranted like hes a powerful vampire with an adeptness in the mind gift, but he also loves lestat + his form of showing that is yandere crazy af aka torturing the people lestat cares about if not beating and tormenting lestat himself and its like..armand would do some shit like that hes crazy but itd be a bit boring if all of s1 was a big lie ?. let all the yaoi be problematic! i def think that theres some freaky shit going on between armandxlouis… the 1x07 reveal was like heyy danny ik i just checked out 5 seconds ago but i went from a bad bf to worse :3 the snake sheds his skin as ive dubbed it. i thought armand was rashid tvc until i seen the marius painting and the reveal had me sooo hype. the finale is the biggest divergence in the book besides the obvious changes (race, era, certain scenes etc etc) the fact that theres 2 interviews and that armand x louis are together in the modern day. in the book armand broke up with louis just before the interview, tried to mack on bog body struggle bus lestat and when all that failed he went to fuck w/ daniel. daniel was named in the third book finally and he was revealed to be w/ armand to have this crazy psychosexual bdsm worldwide cruising (well. armand watching danny fuck) blood airtagging romance rigmarole for a few yrs post interview cuz armand wanted someone to teach him what being human was like again and daniel wanted a demonic satanic zaddy. i am the devil’s minion (title chap drop!) armand’s put in a situation where he has to turn a dying 32 year old (book) daniel into a vampire. in the show clearly, daniel is old now but hes dying still. s1 doesnt show much so i can get why ur confused but in later seasons the nature of all their relationships between show armandxlouis , daniel & what happened and how theyll adapt the axd dynamic will be clearer to us all. i just think ppl r too committed to particular fan theories or takes rn. the ennui of being into an ongoing adaptation

[lochnessies]

im not disagreeing w you or anything i like edie and rhea! but a fun fact is in one war phase lecture question, edie says this:

"I know this is highly unlikely, but on the off chance that Rhea surrenders and agrees to my terms, what should I do? I would appreciate your thoughts on the matter..."

you can check on the wiki for the quotes. edie's good answer is to just strip rhea of powers and political influence, and edie's bad answer is to backstab rhea.

ok sorry for taking a little longer than i thought i was going to. i have terrible time management skills. also, i got stan @garlandgerard to do some translations for me since for whatever reason, the three houses localization team loves to scrub edelgard’s dialogue of any relevance and make her seem more passive than she actually is.

i actually have seen that dialogue choice before and knew the correct answer. HOWEVER, for one thing, she is putting all responsibility on rhea for that to happen. rhea, who per crimson flower, has very clearly lost her mind and had been in a flight or fight response for five years. she is not going to surrender because the survival of her race lies with her. edelgard holds all the power here. she has the cards. they are her terms. rhea has no say in what happens to her.

and if we look back, nothing edelgard does or says gives me any confidence in how she would treat rhea if by some reason she did surrender. by that point you have assaulted garrag mach, grave robbed her siblings hearts, killed seteth and flayn (and i say killed bc edelgard cannot spare them in battle only byleth can) and we’re talking about el here not that piece of cardboard. the game is trying to tell you something. byleth can convince edelgard to spare a human’s life (i.e. claude), but under no circumstances can you convince her to spare the nabateans. this is also shown in leonie and linhardt’s paralogue. when you choose your units for the battle against the immovable (who is saint indech) you cannot bring either hubert or edelgard. this also translates over to fire emblem heroes. if you use edelgard to fight a nonhuman enemy she has a guaranteed follow up quote and has this lovely line:

plus, there is her treatment of rhea in all routes that is not crimson flower. she is kept in chains and tortured. and if you talk to an npc in abyss they make mention that rhea is being held to be given to twsitd later for them to use her bones and blood.

i once again bring up her localization. here’s the direct to english translations on her feelings for the nabateans.

she wants them dead. to add salt to the wound the first translation above comes from the last chapter when el talks to you before you cut to the next scene where she asks rhea to surrender. she admitted to wanting to have her and her kind obliterated and then turns around with a kind smile and acts like she should be trusted. rhea has no reason to believe that edelgard wouldn’t kill her. and edelgard knows this too. if she didn’t then she’s extremely stupid and has an even worse sense of self awareness than i already thought she had.

i don’t think edelgard enjoys the bloodshed but she’s 100% compliant in it and actively fuels it. if rhea were to surrender, el might let her live. HOWEVER you can’t strip someone of soft power which is what rhea has. people give her their respect freely and not under duress. there are three options for rhea:

surrender and be arrested for the crimes you didn’t commit and be chained underground.

surrender and be exiled from your home that you have been living on for over a thousand years and have to live with the knowledge that you are the last of your kind in an unfamiliar place forever.

fight for your right to live and maybe have the chance to survive.

also, what is the problem with rhea’s influence? the empire, kingdom, and alliance don’t answer to her. and she has no control over them. the empire got rid of their church branch 120 years ago and put a noble house in charge of religion (so it’s a state based religion with no separation of church and state thanks to the emperor). the western church is trying to kill the central, and the eastern church does literally nothing since the nobles don’t listen to them. if anything, the church is bullied by the nobility (i.e. seteth admitting that the nobles are ‘rather insistent’ with them)

and if rhea had the forgiveness of a saint (and she doesn’t on crimson flower) and she accepted, based on everything edelgard has said, done, and continues to do, there is absolutely no fucking chance rhea gets out of this situation unharmed and both rhea and edelgard know it. it’s like what jeralt said when you first meet the flame emperor: ‘your [edelgard’s] words are meaningless.’

[blorbocedes]

hi nicologist blorbie, i like nico but i find his media personality kinda... too polished? like george russell but with more personality. like he's doing a performance but maybe it's just his overly therapized self-awareness. ur thoughts?

hshdjdj hello anon... welcome to the pantheon of the same complaint nico has faced his whole life 😫😭 from 2013-2016, to all the way back in Williams he was called ranging from "doesn't have a sense of humour/too German" to "too stoic/wooden/PR focused" the George Russell before George Russell. let's break down your question

the 2016 media narrative was actually "Lewis Hamilton parties every week vs Nico Rosberg has given up all pleasures to life to eat oatmeal and train" and their press con pictures were Nico being 😶. couple that when he was put against the other German on the grid, the naturally charismatic and joking seb vet, nico absolutely came across as a stick up his ass.

now, obviously, as you have called me a nicologist I'm going to have a biased take. let's talk about media personalities -- everyone has them. even the most animated of blorbos, daniel playing up being funny, lewis with his peace and love, even fernando refusing to explain what el plan is everytime 😈 (this is a man who owns being a menace)

some people refuse to play into theirs as much, like max, and accordingly the media characterises him as blunt/straightforward/harsh. the media is nicer to you when you work with them, which is why Daniel is such a media darling and the face of DTS, despite not being a top 5 race contender.

nico has always been aware of how he's perceived. there's a will buxton article about it that's pretty fascinating. even before entering f1, he knew he'd be World Champion's Son and his media personality while he was a driver reflected that; diplomatic, uncontroversial, says the right and boring thing (and yes, even lying about it 🤭 my darling care has the receipts). my fav nico moments are when he'd break off it a bit — the iconic "if Lewis wants to change something then he can drive cleanly himself" agdjjd while jenson went O_O [obv media personality =/= how they actually are]

present day nico, as an f1 commentator, I'm very curious what your idea of polished media personality is. cause to me, that means someone who is milquetoast, wouldn't rock the boat, impersonal and says the 'right' thing. nico is the guy who said Ferrari's current strategy team is worse than an F2/F3 team live on air 😭 (as he should), the guy who asked lando point blank what the difference is between p3 and p4 (who didn't know 😭 bless his heart), who said yeah why should max go into a corner thinking lewis is gonna miss the apex

peak rosberg shit stirring hehe

I actually don't even agree with nico always, like for instance when he said merc should've prioritised lewis over george in dutch (?) gp. like don't make me defend george but he was right on his call for softs and prioritising His race, but that's whatever

not a huge fan of the term overly therapized~ cause a lot of Nico insults is "this man needs to go to therapy" and when they find out he HAS they're like "this man has had Too Much therapy" like 😭😭😭 he cannae win...... I do call him the most therapized man of all time, but that's gentle ribbing. when people say it anonymously w/o any way for me to extrapolate intent I'm a bit hm 🤥

cause like if he was saying things like emotional labour and 'speaking my truth' that claim would have more weight... but you know who Would say things like that? [redacted] 🔫

coming back to your question. every f1 driver is doing a performance with their public persona, some are better some are worse. Nico is no longer in f1 as a driver and doesn't need to be careful and measured anymore, and To Me is one of the few fun personalities in f1 as a commentator. you can totally disagree cause it's a matter of personal preference.

Post retirement Nico, having a YouTube channel for Years and playing into the memes (his ig comments are a nightmare of the same equal machinery joke) is perhaps more aware than most how people see him. he also doesn't need to care as much, he can laugh at himself -- at his own expense. he even posted what is essentially a taking L's compilation

if his polished persona is coming across as a cringe girldad who is way too excited about electric cars then by god he's the greatest male manipulator out there

obv if you find him too curated/inauthentic that's your prerogative, but I I would ask; have you actually watched the guy or are you going off public consciousness/someone else's interpretation. i wish he was as conniving and calculating now as people gave him credit for, unfort this is a dude who geeks out over finding a charging station in Italy.

love him, hate him, you can't deny he's fun

[drabbles-mc]

If It’s Alright

Horacio Carrillo x F!Reader

Combining a request from @616wilsons​ and an anonymous request: hi if ur still taking blurb requests could i pls request 🚪 (showing up at the other’s door for comfort) 🩹 (caring for wounds) 🧸 (exes with feelings) and “let’s get you out of your wet clothes” with Horacio and smutty (Blurb prompts are from This List)

Warnings: 18+, language, mentions of blood/injuries, alcohol, little bit of angsty goodness, slight steam

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: I know the anon request was for smut but I just haven’t really been feeling smut lately, so we’ll have to settle for the implication lol. But I really really loved writing this. Exes with feelings is one of my favorite tropes right up there with friends to lovers. And I feel like it’s a trope that suits Carrillo so well. I hope you enjoy!

Narcos Taglist: @thesandbeneathmytoes @garbinge @bruxasolta @winchestershiresauce @sizzlingcloudmentality @alm0501 @panagiasikelia @hauntedforsst @mirabee @buckybarneshairpullingkink @boomclapxox @nessamc @southotheborder @supersanelyromantic @padbrookcottage @mysun-n-stars @raincoffeeandfandoms @bport76 @marrianena​ @ashlingnarcos​ @passionatewrites (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, let me know!)

For most people, the sound of rain falling outside, or pattering against the roof, was calming. It was something that helped them fall asleep quicker. But not for you. You loved the rain—that wasn’t the issue. You loved it, and it did help you relax. More often than not, though, when it rained at night, you stayed up to soak it all in.

You cracked your bedroom windows enough for the breeze and the sound to get in, but not so much that you would wake up to a soaked floor. The lights in your apartment were working just fine, the storm wasn’t so bad that it was messing with your electricity, but you still had candles lit and scattered around your house. It was nicer that way for you, more relaxing. The only light you had on besides that, was the small lamp beside your bed so that you could read without straining your eyes in the dark. You poured yourself a glass of wine, grabbed yourself some chocolate, and settled in with your newest book purchase. So rarely did you have nights that shaped up quite like this, and it was the most relaxed you’d felt in a long time.

The knock at your door came when you were three chapters into your book, and a glass and a half deep into your bottle of wine. You paused, looking and listening intently to make sure that you actually heard correctly. It was late, and storming, and you had no idea who would be showing up on your doorstep. Sure enough, though, a few moments later another set of knocks followed, these ones a little louder.

Despite the fact that it wasn’t cold at all, you pulled a sweatshirt on over your tank top in an attempt to feel a little less exposed. You padded through your kitchen, swiping a knife from the block as you went. It was unlikely that someone was showing up in these conditions to cause trouble, but nothing was impossible. You took a deep breath as you reached for the lock, then the doorknob.

Pulling it open just enough so that you could peek and see who it was, your eyes widened immediately. He looked so small standing there on your front step, soaked to the bone from the rain, and he was never a man who had seemed small in all the time that you’d known him.

“Horacio?” you said it as a question even though it shouldn’t have been.

He blinked, droplets falling from his eyelashes as the tiniest hint of a tired smile tugged at his lips for a brief moment, “Hermosa.”

Maybe it was the wine, or the late hour, or the strange circumstances of him being on your doorstep at all, let alone in the rain, but you felt yourself smiling at the familiarity of the title he greeted you with. It’d been a long time, long enough for the feelings to fade, but the warmth in your chest that you tried to deny proved that things hadn’t changed as much as maybe they should have. The fact that he was here to see you told you that you weren’t the only one with that problem. You wondered if either of you would be brave enough to admit it.

“It’s late,” you were still braced against the doorframe.

“It is,” he nodded.

You looked beyond him for a moment before training your eyes back onto his, “It’s raining.”

“It is.”

You waited a beat, wondering if he was going to say something else. When he didn’t, you cocked your head to the side, “What’re you doing here, Horacio, late and in the rain?”

“I was thinking of you—you’ve always liked the rain.”

You didn’t think that he was lying, per se, but you knew without asking that he wasn’t telling you the whole truth. The darkness of the night outside kept you from getting a good look at him, and that felt like a calculated move on his part. After all, he was nothing if he wasn’t calculated. Painfully calculated.

“That’s true,” you waited another beat, and if you were a crueler person, you would’ve bid him goodnight and shut the door in his face. But you weren’t cruel, not to anyone, but especially not to him, even if some nights you wished that you could’ve been. Letting out a quiet sigh, you asked, “Do you want to come in?”

Even in the dark you could feel him studying your face, “If that’s alright.”

You chuckled, opening your door a little wider, “You’re already here, hm?”

He stepped inside, and he immediately felt warmer being out of the rain. Looking around, a strange weight settled in his chest as he took in the setup of your home. It looked so peaceful, felt so peaceful. And yet, here he was, bringing his chaos into all of that. You let him, he supposed, but then again he hadn’t left you with much of a choice. The candles across your house all flickered slightly as the rain continued to batter against the roof.

When he heard the click of you locking the door once more, he turned around to face you. It was only then that he saw the knife in your hand. His eyebrows lifted, “What company were you expecting?” he nodded towards the blade.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head as you slid it back into the knife block, “I wasn’t…hence the knife,” you paused, leaning against the counter for a moment, watching him in the darkness of your home, a place where he had once felt so comfortable, “What’s on your mind, Horacio?”

“I don’t know,” from anyone else, it would’ve felt like a lie. But he wasn’t a man who ever admitted any sort of lack on his part. If he was saying that he didn’t know, you believed it without hesitation. He shook his head slightly, “I was here before I even…” his voice trailed off.

That’s when you saw it. The slightest bit of a wince, a momentary clench of his jaw and knitting of his brow before he tried to force his features to relax again. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but you knew that he would try to brush it off, and you weren’t in much of a mood or an argument. So, instead of giving him the opportunity, you walked over and flipped on the lights instead.

The lights above your counter weren’t blinding. Their glow didn’t go too far past the kitchen itself, but they threw enough light for you to see the shape that Horacio was really in, and it almost made you wish that you had left them off. Your heart sank at the all-too familiar sight. You sighed, not out of exasperation, but out of an aching and an inherent knowing that you wished you didn’t have.

He fought the urge to shrink under your gaze. It was always so funny to you, really, that this man who had done unspeakable things, challenged the world’s most dangerous men, ended up feeling small under the weight of your worry, your anger, your disappointment. Or perhaps funny wasn’t the right word. At least, back then it wasn’t. Maybe now that things were different, it was alright to say that. A couple degrees of separation let you find the odd humor in the midst of all the hurt.

You walked over to him, cupping the side of his face as you gently grazed your thumb over the bruise that was darkening his cheek. Your voice was barely a whisper as you asked, “What did you do this time, Horacio?”

There was a beat of hesitation, but he leaned into your touch, “Does it matter?”

You chuckled softly, shaking your head, “Only if you want me to help you.”

He rested his hand over yours, and you saw the blood that was beginning to dry on his knuckles. It was a wonder that the skin there was still able to break, that it hadn’t toughened up enough yet.

He shook his head, “It’s not that bad.”

Your smile had a hint of sadness in it, “I don’t think I believe you,” you sighed as your hand dropped, gesturing for him to follow you, “Come, let’s get you out of your wet clothes, hm?”

He followed you without question, something that he couldn’t do with many people in his life. The farther the two of you got from the kitchen, the darker the house became again. It was a short walk to your bedroom, and he hesitated at the doorway. You were the one inviting him in, but his steps still faltered.

He saw the book and the half-finished glass of wine sitting on your bedside table, and despite the exhaustion and pain that he was feeling, he allowed himself a smile. Some things didn’t change, and that was reassuring to him. His eyes were drawn back to you as you crouched in front of your dresser, pulling open the bottom drawer. You leafed through a few items before you pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants. You shut the drawer and stood up, pausing for a moment to collect yourself before walking over to him.

You saw the curious look on his face as you held the clothes out to him. You shrugged, “You never came to get them…” you weren’t brave enough to say and I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them, but Horacio was a smart man, he knew without you saying it out loud. Allowing him a shred of privacy, you said, “I’ll get my things and I’ll see what I can do for you,” your first aid kit had never been so complete as when you were with him.

When you came back into the room, he’d changed into the fresh set of pants, and was just beginning to peel the rain-soaked polo off of him. He was moving slower than usual, and you had a feeling that the bruise on his cheek was the least of his problems. He held the shirt in his hand, looking over at you with a questioning expression on his face.

You set your kit on the edge of the bed and held your hand out, “I’ll put them in the wash.”

When you walked back into the room a few moments later, you found Horacio standing by your bedside table. Even though his back was to you, you could tell that he was looking at the book you’d been reading. He never quite shared your love of romance stories, of that particular brand of fiction, but he supposed that he understood it. You deserved the kind of love that you read about to frequently—he just wished that he could be the kind of man who could give it to you.

You walked closer and saw the bruises littering his back and shoulders. Most were fresh, but others were farther along in the healing process. You wondered what other doorsteps he’d ended up on, on those nights, or if he just licked his wounds alone in the silence of his own home. When you were close enough, you fought the urge to reach out and touch them. Your fingers itched to trail along the blemishes despite the fact that you could do nothing to alleviate them—only time could do that. Which was a conclusion the two of you seemed to come to for more and more things as the days ticked by.

“Can I see?” you broke the silence of the room.

When he turned around, you couldn’t help but to suck in a quick breath at the sight of him. There were more bruises, a few minor cuts on his face that you hadn’t seen before, but more concerning than all of that was the laceration just below his chest, going clean across his stomach and ribcage. No wonder he was moving so slowly.

“Horacio…” the word was barely audible even though the only other sound was the rain outside.

The way you said his name always made him feel so human. He never could get used to it, not when it mattered, anyway. Now, though, it was his greatest comfort. It’d been so long since he’d heard you say it, since he had the privilege of feeling whole again.

“I’m alright, hermosa,” he shook his head as though that would quell your concerns.

“If that were true,” you sat down on the edge of your bed, motioning for him to come closer, “you wouldn’t be here.”

He couldn’t lie and say that you were wrong, so instead he silently made his way to you. He watched every tiny shift in your expression as you looked back and forth between his cut and the kit of supplies sitting next to you on the bed. He saw you get the medical alcohol out and immediately tried to brace himself for the incoming sting. It didn’t matter, though, he still winced. His hand instinctively reached and gripped onto your shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, just enough to give him a bit of a tether in the midst of it all. You didn’t say anything about it, didn’t even look up at him for fear that it’d make him let go.

It wasn’t quite deep enough to need stitches, but you had the knotting feeling in your gut that told you it was going to be yet another scar to add to the running tally across his body. Your hands delicately moved across his skin as you finished cleaning and carefully bandaging up the cut. Caring for him always made you think that in a past life at some point, this was just what you did. Perhaps it was always for him. Maybe the two of you always found each other, maybe it was always like this.

“Sit,” you nodded to the edge of the bed next to you, “so I can clean out the ones on your face, too.”

“It’s really—”

“You came to me,” your tone was gentle but firm, “So, sit.”

He did as you said, carefully turning his body so that he was facing you head-on. The dim light of your lamp was just enough to be able to see what you needed to see. You felt with his hands first, making quick work of his split knuckles. Then, you cupped his chin, carefully turning his head as needed to wipe out all of the little cuts that littered his forehead and cheekbones. He hissed at the feeling of the alcohol doing its job, but he didn’t fight you on it, didn’t try to tell you to stop. He was somehow both the best and the worst patient.

A few small bandages later, you were done and closing up your kit. You set it on the bedside table, right by your book and still-unfinished glass of wine. Horacio watched your movements intently but didn’t say anything to you.

The shadows that your room cast onto his face and body hid the bruises well enough, but you still knew that they were there. Your eyes trailed over him, and you didn’t feel even a hint of shame about it, knowing that when you weren’t paying attention he had been doing the same to you.

Reaching out, you lightly trailed your fingers along his arm and up to his shoulders, leaving goosebumps in your wake, “What am I going to do with you, Horacio?”

When your hand reached his jaw, he reached and laced his fingers into yours. His eyes fell shut as he leaned in, letting his forehead rest against yours as he breathed out a sigh. For the first time all night, he felt his body starting to relax.

“Say it again.”

You let your eyes stay closed, “Hm?”

“My name,” he clarified, his voice still soft, “say it again.”

You smiled even though he couldn’t see it, “Horacio.”

“I almost forgot what that sounded like,” he admitted, his voice more emotional than he’d bargained for.

Your heart ached at that as you reached, running your fingers through his hair that was still dripping wet, “Anything else?”

He opened his eyes, “What?”

“Did you forget about anything else?” you clarified, voice still soft, eyes still shut.

He tilted his head just enough to be able to brush his lips against yours. Your first thought was to lean into it, to give in. But you didn’t. The brief, featherlight contact felt like it sucked all the air from your lungs. Resting your palm against his chest, you felt the fast beat of his heart. You did that, and there was an odd sense of victory in that, even after all this time.

“You need to rest,” you pulled away from him, standing up before gesturing to the bed, “Lie down, try to get comfortable. I’ll be right back,” you saw each emotion as they raced through his eyes, and you couldn’t help but to smile, “Can’t let the candles burn my house down. Not even in the rain.”

He smiled and nodded, but didn’t say anything as he slowly started to get himself situated in your bed. You peeled your eyes off of him, forcing yourself to walk out of the room so that you could shut off your kitchen light and blow out the candles scattered around your home. Your quiet night was long gone, but you supposed that this wasn’t so terrible either.

When you got back to your room, Horacio was lying on his side. You couldn’t imagine that that was comfortable for him, but again, it wasn’t an argument that you were going to invite. Instead, you stayed quiet, blowing out the candles in your room before taking your sweatshirt back off. You felt the way that he was watching you, actively choosing not to comment on it as you slipped into bed beside him. You allowed yourself a few more seconds to look at him in the soft, warm glow from your lamp. He was soaking it in too, and you didn’t miss the momentary disappointment that flashed across his face as you reached to turn the light off, submerging the two of you into a distantly familiar darkness.

“Horacio?” you whispered, testing the waters to see if he was still awake after a few minutes of silence between you.

“Yes?” exhaustion was heavy in his voice.

“It’s all going to be the same, you know,” your hand found its way to his cheek even in the darkness, “In the morning, when we wake up…it’s not going to be anything else…”

Even though you couldn’t see it, you could feel him nod beneath the gentle touch of your hand, “I know.”

“I hate that,” you admitted feeling secure in the blackness of your room.

He rested his hand over yours, “Me too, hermosa.”

“Horacio?” you mirrored your tone from before.

“Yes?”

“Kiss me.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He couldn’t move quickly because of his injuries and bandages, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t pull you closer. You carefully maneuvered your legs to tangle with his as your arms looped around his neck.

His lips moved slowly, softly against yours. It wasn’t what you’d been expecting, but it was a welcome surprise. You melted against him as his arms snaked around your waist, hands slipping beneath the fabric of your clothes with ease. Even the movements of his fingers, the way they ghosted across your skin, felt gentler than you remembered. It was like he was trying to memorize you all over again, like the sound of his name falling from your lips wasn’t the only thing he’d been on the brink of forgetting. Part of you wished that his memory was worse—maybe he would’ve ended up here sooner. But you also knew that it wouldn’t matter, not really.

His hands slipped down, pushing at the waistband of your shorts. You knew that it wasn’t going to do either of you any good, but you didn’t want him to stop, either. You kicked them the rest of the way off, letting them get lost in the mess of blankets and sheets at the foot of your bed. His hands glided up your thighs and over your ass, his soft touch intensifying only when he gripped you so that he could pull you and situate you on top of him as he lied on his back. You felt him tense in pain for a moment as he moved, but it clearly wasn’t enough to deter him as he pulled you back in for another kiss. It all had an air of futility to it, but you weren’t going to make him stop. Everything would be the same in the morning, but the two of you still had the rest of the night.

[isagisyoichi]

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out ���) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

[1101001]

hi !! AAA i just discovered your account and i just wanna say that it’s so pretty ☹️☹️ like omg :(((

and i wanted to request smth for bnha ! :D now i’m not sure if you write for the big3 ( mirio, nejire, tamaki ) but if you do — could i maybe request the big3 ( separately ) as your older siblings? O:

; aaa ty anon <3 and o.o this’ll be my first bnha thing on here. im an older sibling myself (the eldest u.u) but im thinking the big 3 are a whole lot nicer than i am 🤧

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BIG (3) SIBLINGS _

ft. togata mirio , hado nejire , amajiki tamaki

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togata mirio ,

we get to see his older brother side when he’s with eri but i think if he actually had a younger sibling he wouldn’t be exactly the same

there’s also the age difference to consider

if you’re not that much younger than him, he’ll definitely be a lot more teasing

not in the intense bully type way (cuz thats not him) but more of the lighthearted teasing vibes

he’s also a very supportive brother

if you have any hobbies he’s sure to acknowledge and remember it and even maybe help you out in any way he can (if you like art he buys u art materials etc.)

and if ever he hears that youre being bullied in some way, he’ll do anything he can to help you

he wont necessarily beat up the bullies but maybe just intimidate them a little

just a bit ;)

also im 100% sure at least 2 of your friends have a crush on him

overall he’s a rlly nice sweet brother but the one thing that he’s not great at is showing weakness in front of you

he wants you to look up to him (even if you dont wanna become a hero) and its one of the things that motivates him to become better

you gotta let him know that you already look up to him a great deal and just give the guy some reassurance that he’s doing great cuz he has a tendency to sometimes overwork himself

::

hado nejire ,

having nejire as an older sis is tons of fun

she would take you out shopping and exploring the city and she’ll even point out some cute people along the way who seem like your type

yes she knows ur type

when it comes to school, she’s very reliable and usually has some notes you can use to study

if there’s a topic you don’t understand she’ll also help explain it to the best of her abilities

she always asks for your opinion on her outfits and when she was designing her hero costume, she asked you for so. much. advice.

she probably also taught you how to braid hair so you can style her hair on days she’s feeling extra fancy

all your friends know her as “nejire nee-chan” and whenever theyre around she becomes the embodiment of a good older sis

she doesn’t know all your hobbies but if you decide to tell her/if she finds out about them she’ll be vv supportive of it

“ohhh you [whatever ur hobby is]?? thats so cool!! my bby sibling is so talented U.U” this kind of supportive

anyway she’s really good at being ur #1 hype woman 

but sometimes she can come off as a bit dismissive.. 

it’s mainly cuz she tends to bounce from subject to subject pretty quick but you’ll probably end up getting used to it and learn to adapt to her energy

::

amajiki tamaki ,

despite being a shy guy, tamaki would be more open around his younger sibling(s)

and i dont mean he suddenly becomes all energetic and extroverted around you

i just mean that he isn’t scared of talking to you about most things 

tamaki, although you might not see it, is a really really protective brother

if anyone talks smack about his lil sibling,,,, then well :”) rip them i guess

which is weird because he’s usually so unsure about things but when it comes to you he won’t hesitate to do whatever he can for your well-being

he has this idea in his head that he’s gotta be a strong older brother so if you’re around during training or when you were watching during the sports festival, he’ll try extra hard just to live up to that image

in a way you’re like his confidence booster

but there are times when insecurities get to him and he feels like he’s not doing good enough

when that happens you have to get all dramatic and pull out the speech about how he’s the best brother you could ask for and that as long as he’s trying to do his best, even if that best isn’t rlly great rn, you’re proud of him

he’ll also remember the most embarrassing stories about you and although he never tells your friends (cuz he’s too shy to talk to them) he randomly brings it up in some of your convos

when it comes to stuff you’re interested in,,,, he tries his best to understand even if he might not;-; but yk its the thought that counts

. . .

[plush-rabbit]

What headcanons you have in request box actually? I'm really curious lol. Have nice day btw, I love your work!!!!!

Okay, so usually I put some in a doc and then like figure it out from there so if you've sent one in and haven't seen it, don't worry, it'll be done and added once I make a dent lmao. These are also a mix of hc and fics. Some I'm like part way through so ye

There also might be some that I might not do because its vague, like I'm given just the prompt and I don't know what to do with it or there's just no ideas that come to mind so I really am sorry.

Upcoming ones:

Met with Dia and he said “how else will you please me?” And I think it awoke something in me?? Can I request Diavolo with a bashful innocent MC and him just laying back and letting her have his way with him? But of course he’s a total dom so he’s gonna take control but just has a little fun letting her take the reins to start with? Hi. I just found your stuff and you write so well for Obey Me. Could I request a fic with Barbatos and a female MC? Maybe she's staying at the palace for whatever reason and when he goes to his room he hears her moaning his name so he checks on her but she's sleeping. The next day he hints that she must've had a good dream much to her dismay. That night he goes to her room and she's awake and they end up sleeping together. With some praise and maybe even some tail action. Thank you! Can I please get a uuuhhh possessive/borderline yandere Leon please :3c maybe it’s after a big match for her and everyone’s fawning over her and he steals her away and reminds her that she’s his? 💕✨ I saw those headcanons where Jin and Shigaraki became parental or sibling figures to the reader sooooooo how about headcanons of a fem!reader being a mother figure to the league? Just an ordinary citizen in her late twenties until she met the LOV unexpectedly, during the time where the league had to hide and the reader's place is conveniently open (then again I'm sure they'd bust in if it wasn't) and she didn't rat them out. This happened quite a lot of times to the point where the reader is used to it by now and just lets them in, even if they weren't hiding from anyone and just wants to stay for the night. When she got closer to the league, she starts to show care and love for them in a way a mother would the reader isn't a member of the league, but they already consider her as family :'D I just really want them to get care and love since they've been through so much Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 I like the Lucky!Cat!reader hc. Could you do some for the LOV, with a Male Cat s/o? Thank you! You're the best!! I've been obsessing about flowers and their meanings or what they symbolize soooooo. How would the LOV react to their s/o giving them a certain flower and then finding out what the flower means/symbolizes? Hope this passes! It's a request for OM. Can I have headcanons of the brothers + Diavolo (if you don't mind) of their s/o dancing "Paradise Lost" by GAIN? Provided you a link to the video for reference 😁: https://youtu.be/4i32ANEa5mk Headcanons where the LOV has an s/o whose like a literal ball of sunshine. Always happy and bubbly, smiling and laughing, they just seem to epitome of joy. Until one day, they just break down, being so emotionally drained from different factors that they can keep up the act of being happy anymore Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 hey!! hru? i have a question do you think shigaraki would like a threesome? what if his s/o didn’t want one bc she’s like possessive of him (in a non toxic way) hey plush, can you do a reader x Shiggy and Dabi whos crying to them/grabbing their shirts and burring themselves into shiggy and dabi/ about their verbally abusive ex, how theyre so different from them, so much nicer and softer, how they(the reader) never thought they could be loved or deserved kindness? its been one of those days, i just need some comfort. thank you♡ heyy!! ^^ can i request some headcanons for hawks reacting to his female s/o belly dancing for him? :3 Heyo this is beetle juice anon idk if u remember me I’m the person who said shiggy sounds like beetle juice, I swear I couldn’t get that thought out of my head so can I request shiggy and reader getting hit by a quirk that forces them to do a musically ( idk I just want shiggy to sing honestly lmaoooo) idk maybe both of them being shocked that both of them can sing hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 So, like. Hear me out. What if, with Bakugou and Dabi (separate) : MC is super innocent and cute, blushes at the slightest flirt, and “doesn’t get” dirty jokes, but as soon as they’re alone with their s/o? They are the kinkiest most vulgar bottom they’ve ever seen. Nipples pierced, collar under the turtleneck, chain strung between the piercings and the collar, all out kinda slut. The duality of man. (Gender neutral) Hello so may i request shigaraki with a s.o whos warm loving and protective and very innocent basically a s.o whos like mitsuri kanroji both personality and look wise Female pronouns,maybe they are out on a date getting ice cream and the s.o is so happy shiggy came, they hold hands and people start giving him odd looks only for her to stand up to the bullies who are saying things about shigaraki, it ends with her kissing him infront of everyone to prove a point,and when the get home she tells him she doesnt care what people think and makes love to him topping hin while telling him all the reasons she fell inlove with him,(omg im so sorrry its so long if you have tpo many requests or dont like the idea please tell me) hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 could we get a fem reader cock warming Dabi throughout the night and get morning sex >//< // ik youre a busy bee so dont feel obligated to rush or anything, take ur time plushie!♡ can we please get a shiggy x reader and the reader asks him to teach her how to game and she ends up being better than him and whatnot (inspired by that “a simple wager”) fic (if you ever decide to make a sequel to that i will ve DECEASED Can I request a sub shigaraki with a mommy kink getting pegged by the reader ( I just want to make him beg and cry honestly) reader is a female Omh give us noncon/somno w scary eraserhead plsss / aizawa and aphrodisiac smut pwease ( ；∀；) Overhaul and Chrono punishing quirkless reader for being an undercover reporter/agent but like orgasm denial... (Idk if you write this stuff but anyways do it if you want have a nice night) Can I request something like “Peaches and Cream” but with Piers instead? I know you’re busy with other requests, so don’t worry if you don’t have time for this one! I love love your writing!!! Hello beautiful can I just say how amazing ur writing is loll, can I request shigaraki having a crush on the reader and she knows about it, like one day shiggy just goes to her room when there on a mission and just steals her stuff and humps her pillows, but she has cameras in her room so she saw everything, long story short she shows him the videos and humiliates him (shiggy of course a mess and is close to crying from how embarrassing that is, lowkey turned on ) the reader takes care of him ( sorry I’m really bad at endings 🙏🏻😅) the reader pegs him until he’s a crying mess. By the way the reader is a female and shigaraki is a sub has a mommy kink and the reader is dom of that’s ok of course I love your writing!! May I ask for Diavolo x F!Reader with borderline disorder? 👉👈.. Lately it has been very difficult for me to deal with this alone and Diavolo is mine comfort character.. (NSFW Talk, If your a minor..then why are you even reading this?? Get off this 18+ page?? Anyways-). I am a huge sucker for overstimulation, biting and crying, (many of my past partners have called me a sadist-) and I just 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 the idea of Tamaki’s cute face streaming with tears and drool as Male Reader vigorously overstims the fuck out of him. And he would look so 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 with his mouth gaping open in a silent scream of overwhelming pleasure because M!Reader gave his sensitive dick a handjob while he roughly railed Tamaki’s pretty little ass. (While abusing the fuck out of his G Spot, of course). I can just imagine him squirming and begging for mercy while M!Reader lovingly wrecks his body, taking him hard & fast in multiple different positions with each one making Tamaki wail with pleasure. He’s just so adorable, I just wanna see him get 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝~ Lusty ❤︎ -Anon. Bonus Points if you could have M!Reader be super fuckin tall, muscular, strong and also be absolutely PACKING. (This man has a godly dick, and it’s honestly a surprise Tamaki can take it so well without literally breaking in half) ahhhh hewwo could you maybe write something with dbd ghostface going full apotheosis for his crush? as in,, he starts to elevate her to a status of divinity and even when she's just cowering in fear in front of him or conversely stabbing him and causing him lots of pain he just keeps viewing her as some sort of deity and  can't stop obsessing over her and wanting more from her

Again. I deeply apologize for not doing some. I wish I could, but (and this is not to guilt trip any of yall or anything, I understand that it'll sound like that it but it ain't it) sometimes the work I put into something and the feedback I get is sometimes not it. Like I'll work hard and get nothing and listen, I get it, its fanfic, there's a bit more stigma to it rather than art but yeah. Its a ramble, and basically, I don't wanna put work into something that I'll only get a few likes on. So yeah. Agains this isn't guilt tripping, I get it. I'm a consumer of it and I get the gist of it but yeah. More thoughts later, when I can properly sit and write as I am currently in a home depot 

[weirdcursedvaultkid]

So here The Headcannons Anon with Some HCs for Vegasnyde

Merula can act Like She hates Alex Attention, but in The second Alex Starts clowning about Someone else She Will say things “Copper has a Horse face” “Winger Looks Like a literal bird wtf” just because she's jealous, Then Alex Will pull her in and say “C'mon Silly, You know I'm your fan Number One, I could never get You Out Of my head” “social distance, Vega.”

So, Merula Is really Careless with her hair, that's Why it always Looks Like a shrub lol. But only brush it to look Good to Alex. “You look really Pretty, But You Didn't have to do it...” “Shut up, Vega. I Didn't do anything for you”

KJAFDHKDFJH anon the first one i laughed at “copper has a horse face” .. ben getting roasted is so funny to me. 

and actually this hc is kinda true!!! when alex is crushing on talbott, merula does indeed get jealous and she kind of bothers alex more esp if shes with talbott at the time .. she just wants alex to pay attention to her kajdfhvkdjfh.. when alex gets turned down by talbott, meruia is like. “i dont get why ur moping around.. honestly wingers such a loser, vega.. you could do sooooo much better” (and who better than the most powerful witch at hogwarts, ey merula?)

aw the second one is cute kadfj and its kind of canon? she does brush it all neatly for the celestial ball and first date!! which is actually so cute of her she prob was trying to look nicer for mc kafhd but it makes me happy that she just keeps her hair as it usually is during the later romance sqs bc it means she knows mc likes her the way she is!! and why wouldnt they!! shes the best and the cutest witch at hogwarts obviously

thank u for sending these it was very fun to read and its fun to see what other come up with for these 2 ajkfdh 😌😌😌💕💕💕💕

[jtrbluv]

“F 2020!” - TXT

it’s 3:30am and i’m 2 lazy to make a header so here’s yoongi, i promise i have nicer handwriting

wow, i literally have no idea where to start. it’s almost my three year anniversary of being on this hellsite, but i think i can definitely say that 2020 has probably been one of my favorite years by far, and i am really grateful for it. i think 2020 was a year i was able to improve a lot in my writing despite not producing and releasing a lot of content. quarantine finally allowed me to actually sit down and focus on writing more than i ever have before, and shit, it felt good! it finally felt like i was able to write for myself and not just to please others, and it felt so rewarding rawr (•̀ᴗ•́)و

to all my followers, thank you all so so much. each and every single one of you are a huge reason as to why i’m still here and continue to write. all the likes, reblogs, comments, asks, and more mean the absolute world to me and other writers as well. i think as content creators we can all say that we all go back and scroll through all your messages. thank you for continuing to support me and hopefully i can manage to gift more fics to you this year! luv u all so much <33

to all my mutuals, whether we’ve talked once, twice, never, or a lot, thank you so much for letting me into your world! i really appreciate and luv each and every one of you and always enjoy seeing you all around my dash, we love 2 see it!! i wish you all the best and pls never hesitate to talk to me, i’ll always be here through but especially to support you and hype you all up!! >:) <33

i was going to tag people, but i don’t wanna risk missing anyone T-T. hopefully, you all know who you are :)) just know i luv u fr

lastly, here are some sappy ass luv letters to some of you in particular, sry in advance 🥶🥶

@koushiningg - yeah, of course your ass is going first. hey jae bae, bestie 4L, partner-in-crime, the one person who’s read every, and i mean EVERY single one of my fics. it irks me how much you’re always able to write out your feelings towards the people you care about, bc i SUCK at it! so yes, thank you so much for just being you, i’ll write u a sappy long letter for ur grad email but for now, thank u so much for putting up with my dumbass, listening to me ramble abt the ideas i get at the asscrack of dawn, reading my fics, supporting me in everything that i do. i love u sm fr. here is to the year that we’ve been waiting for, 2021. let’s make it our year.

@taehyungieskith - mika bae........ to think that you were still a local this year is so silly to think abt, i still remember us in the 400s and me giving u song recs in the band room GAHAHDHAJ. i love the little book club type shit we be doing, i always love ur recs duh wtf. thank u twin for always hyping up my stuff and thank god u arent on wattpad anymore mhm love u twin jumi #2 fr

@viopera - VIO!!! we’ve met recently but it feels like i’ve known u for awhile now. literally i’m so happy cuz i remember telling u to write fics and u were straight up like “no.” and now here we are RAWR! u should know this by now and u probably do but i will always be ur #1 supporter and eternal beta-reader. i hope you’re feeling better and ily my fav corpse stan and bad bitch!!!!

@bangtans-peaceful-piegon - AHH PIDGE!!! if i can remember correctly, you were one of the first people i actually talked to on the fic hub server and wow you are just the cutest and literal sweetest thing. we clicked so easily and the vibes u give off are just absolutely impeccable. i love u and i’m always here for u !!! <33

@sugacouture - AYO MEI!!! istg we literally just started talking frfr like a couple days ago but it’s like i’ve known u for years, like wtf. we literally have the same humor and vibes and it’s been rly swag talking to u. i am also more than happy to be ur eternal beta-reader and header helper if that wasn’t already clear duh <3 yeah you are so cute and you write so well that it’s unfair. mhm. unfair. *inserts that one taekook photo* love u, i’ll kidnap u and we’ll get boba and pho <3

@dreamystuffers - RACH!!!!!! rach you truly mesmerize me bc you are so freaking multi-talented, it leaves me in awe. i’m so happy you’ve continued to do what you do luv!! i will always be here and supporting u thru whatever u do!!! luv u sm!! <33

@tatastaetae - marria bby! hi!! ik we don’t talk that much but when we do you’re always such a joy to talk to! the range in ur fics is insane and i always love 2 see it! love u sm and i’m always here for u luv (i swear i’ll be more active on servers wjdjsjjds)

@pjmsdior - bella!!! we haven’t talked for that long either but i always love meeting fil moots!!! you are the sweetest thing and just know that i’ll always be here for u if u need anyone to talk to!!! if i was rich, i’d buy us both new phones in a heartbeat bc our phone literally hate us and for WHAT. kk luv u bella mwah <3

@suhdays - MO! oh my i rly do mean it when i say that u have got to be one of the sweetest and most genuine ppl i’ve met so far this year on this hellsite. ty for making me feel so welcome on the discord servers and networks despite me not being super active on there. when i do get money, i do wish to buy from your etsy shop T-T ,, you are literally the best and deserve the world mo, love u !

@jinpanman - mai! hiii!!! i know we don’t talk much but i’d just like to thank u for the sheer kindness and sweetness you’ve always treated me with! on the occasions that we do talk, you are such a sweetheart omg. ur fics are absolutely to die for and ilysm bby <3

@softguks - AHHDHJE LAUR! when i save u best 4 last <3. we’ve honestly barely interacted at all but you are the most sweetest thing ever, you make my heart full!!! i hope we’re able to interact more in the future and that u come back soon!

- ur local laur luvbot

my secret admirer, hi! i’m not sure if you’ll see this or not since i obviously can’t tag u, but i rly do appreciate u and all the messages u send 🥺🥺 sometimes i go back to them and read them over bc they’re actually so sweet and this is my first actual anon interaction rawr ;w; like always, i wish u nothing but the best and pls take care ☀️ anon!!! <3

sending luv and good vibes to all of u for the new year, always <3

— love, jumi (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

[vidimillion]

idk if ur still doing jasico hc but if u r... college aus! what majors, background, etc? i love college aus

i love them too anon. i love them too. (thanks for the req!)

the university library is packed with people studying for midterms. some people are sitting on the floor, with no chairs left. a ways away from the louder parts of the library, by the windows, there's a really cute guy who's got a small table all to himself. the cute guy sees jason desperately looking for somewhere to study and pulls his bag off the other chair at the table, silently offering.

jason sits down and tries to work, he really does. he's got all his architecture and literature textbooks out, and it works for a little while. jason notices that among the guy's textbooks, there's a few open poetry books that he seemed to read on his study breaks.  jason recognizes a few of them and feels a nagging desire to say something smart, something that strikes up an interesting conversation with this really cute stranger, "emily dickinson was a lesbian."

his faces goes red as he dies on the inside. surprising him, cute stranger stares at him and says something along the lines of, "oscar wilde and michelangelo were definitely gay too."

jason learns the cute boy's name is nico di angelo, and it's gotta be one of the prettiest names he's ever heard used by a real human being. he introduces himself and nico tells him his name is pretty. they're both double majors, something they impressed eachother with because they hadn't often heard of other people taking two majors. nico double-majors in economics and psychology, which impresses jason a lot. jason double-majors in english and architecture.

they're fast friends, and apparently great study buddies because they make it a schedule to study together nearly everyday. they meet up at the library, the yard in front of the school, campus gardens, family-owned cafes off campus. they get to know each other a lot, and realize they're in a few of the same psych and classical studies classes. apparently, nico's that one kid who was late to class and scaled the side of the building to climb through the window. nico discovers that jason's the kid who poured a 6-hour energy into a starbucks black coffee with twelve shots of espresso in it.

more under cut

after exams are over, they both feel dread at the thought that they won't meet up as often anymore. well, it's a lie, they're friends now and they ain't ever gonna let each other go.

they figure out they've got a ton of mutual friends— so many it's odd they've never met before then. percy the bio major who's on the swim team, annabeth who's in the same architecture course as jason, reyna who majors in business and polisci and is the only other person they know who's a double-major. they start by hanging out with their mutual friends, then they introduce each other to their other friends. soon enough, practically everyone they know is in the same friend group.

the ENTIRE group ships jason and nico. they want it to happen so bad in fact, that they literally set them up??

the theatre club is planning a modern— and lgbt friendly— reimagination of one of shakespeare's classics. piper and percy trick nico and jason into "helping them make their audition tape", when in reality they're not sending the audition tape for themselves. jason and nico get the parts of the two main characters.

that's a story for another time though. in short, it works, and jason and nico start dating after opening night. piper and percy are proud to say that they're the reason why.

they planned to have their first "date" date at a poetry slam, where nico's friend's band would play. there was a power outage, so both events were cancelled. instead of rescheduling the date, nico got the idea to bring jason to the roof of his apartment building with his ipad and some snacks. they binged a few movies and watched their part of the city light up when the power came back on.

jason's roommate just moved out and he really can't afford his apartment on his own. no matter how appealing the thought of living with nico sounds, it's way too soon to ask him if he'd move in with him. surprising him, nico asks jason if he'd like to move into nico's apartment— the one he lives alone in which is far nicer than jason's and is 50% paid for by his dad. nico says it's because jason's building doesn't allow dogs and he'd want to bring his dog with him if he moved. hazel and reyna know it's because nico would prefer jason to live in a less cramped space. jason agrees anyway.

nico technically has two dogs, one he co-owns with percy who's name is mrs. o' leary. the second one is a pup of his father's purebred rottweiler cerberus— she's half bear hunting dog, retaining ceberus's coloring but is far larger and far fuffier. her name's amelia. jason fucking loves her, but he's a cat person at heart.

jason successfully convinces nico to adopt a cat—  a gorgeous grey ragdoll who he's named tempest the second, after the cat from jason's childhood.

everybody will assume that between the two of them, nico's the sleep-deprived one. they're not wrong, but most people don't know that jason's even fucking worse. his skin is just so perfect that he never gets eye bags. he can go for almost a full week without sleeping. nico hates this but jason says nico does the same thing.

"no babe, it’s not the same, the longest I've gone without sleep is four days and you haven't slept since last tuesday."

nico has a habit of humming and softly singing when he's bored or distracted. once, jason had his head in nico's lap and nico was combing through his hair with his fingers. nico suddenly begins to sing really softly, something italian that jason's never heard before but if he has he can't tell. he falls asleep in like under five minutes, which surprises nico because jason's so stubborn about sleep. at first he doesn't know why jason fell asleep so fast, until a little over a week later when jason asks him to do it again. (nico thinks it's really fucking cute.)

in reality, nico knows why jason doesn't sleep that much.

before nico met jason, he kind of thought that jay was a spoilt rich kid who played lacrosse in high school or something. he always admired that jason was very hardworking— had two jobs and worked his ass off for his grades, and still spared time for his friends. he didn't realize until later on in their relationship that he was kind of right at first— jason hailed from a rich family, but they didn't want to pay for anything unless he was studying to be a lawyer like his dad. nico loves that about jason— he had the option to have his tuition, his rent, everything paid for as long as he studied something he had no passion in. and he decided he'd rather work.

(and when jason told him, it broke nico's heart because he knew what being abandoned by your family like that felt like. hades is a far better father now— he pays nico's tuition, half of his rent and actually enjoys communicating with him— but nico still remembers his life when he wasn't. it's a little bit of the reason why nico asked jason to move in with him, so that he didn't have to work so hard for rent as well as tuition)

that's all i've got anon i don't know anything about the college experience i'm sorry

[kyunsies]

hello hello mädchen <3 i hope you're doing good today and it is lovely where you are

i am slowly feeling better thank you - i'm still have trouble with sleep but i hope that it gets better soon. 😢😢😢 your words. you are super amazing too and so kind. i feel we have very similar tendencies too and it's a really good thing sometimes but can also be a not so good thing. idk if you've tried this but i'm trying to try less hard? not that like i don't want to work hard but it feels like sometimes i cross that line where it's too much and it actually makes it worse? like to let go enough to be able to appreciate my work as opposed to try and kill myself over it? idk i don't know if it will work but i want to try? i've just moved to a new agent/rep that will hopefully be better for my mental health just cause they seem nicer and will stress me out less.

your job sounds really thorough though. do you enjoy it? i 100% agree with you though! i like to buy good quality clothes too, but that's probably because i really don't buy loads either so each piece feels like an investment? what did you get? is it warm where you are? or have you been investing in more wintry stuff? i so so rarely get multiple versions of albums! i always really to but then i wonder if i;m going overboard and if i end up looking at the photobooks? i got the comma and xiesta photobooks last year and now i'm not sure if i wanna sell them on to a monbebe that will appreciate them more? hmm just me overthinking probably? leather platform shoes sound AMAZING. hahah i do the same though if i know i want to spend some money so i usually wait for the following month sometimes even though i know i'm gonna get the thing anyway? haha.

i'm back to heaven as my fave now!! i'm so so so looking forward to mx eng2 but i agree with you. like these careers are so so so short i'm sure they're aware of this and just want to live their career to their full.

ahhhhh 😢😢😢i love you lots and honestly i was so scared my last year of uni too. i don't think older generations get how much harder it is for people our age when we leave uni and stuff to just start a live that is nice and happy and fulfilling. so you're not alone and honestly even now i feel the same way just after i left uni. BUT you know you have the ability and that means you'll always be able to find a way. i was gonna buy five versions of an album today so i am deffo not the most responsible haha XD but thank you and also know that being insecure means that you're human and not an asshole because honestly all the people that were so overconfident that i've ever known (and i don't mean like - putting it on to help them get through stuff or performing but legit thought they were all that) have all been assholes. so it means you have a good heart and you will always find a way. i don't deserve being looked up to honestly but i'm honored you think i am <3 i'll always keep working hard - i wish i could give you a hug in person and let you know that things will be okay! please always feel ok to tell me your troubles and anything as well. am always here for anything you need too <3

love you lots and lots and lots xxxxx 🦢

babe i am finallyyyyyyyyyy answering this now ;___; i'm so sorry i kept u waiting but i wanted to answer this with all of my attention and not when i was busy bc that wouldn't have been fair to u :( so i hope u have been well and thank u so much for being patient !!! also u used my full name ........ what if i loved u with my whole heart <3

have u finally been able to get the rest you need ? i know work can keep our anxieties on high alert, which makes us even more inclined to burn out :( i hope u are able to rest well soon and not worry too much about work in the future ;____; but like i always say i'm really proud of u for pushing thru anything bubbie like u could easily just give up or have a mental block but if there's one thing i know both of us pride ourselves in it's always finding a way to handle stress no matter what the cost it does to our mental heath etc ....... which could be a bad thing but also there's lots to be said about how our work ethic is right ?? also LDSKFJS not trying hard .......... i think u mean like not stressing myself over every little thing right? there's a saying "don't cry over spilled milk" like CHILL it's okay it's just a mistake just clean it up and move on :') i really wish i can learn this mentality in the future ...... i just don't have those types of ppl around me in nursing school bc all of us are always on edge so i think i'm missing ppl like that in my life (besides my family but to an extent they can be classified as type A personalities too skjflfj) but anyways; u said u moved onto a new agency?? i hope that works well for u and they are able to allow u to grow and create things freely <3 good luck !!!

my job is just okay !! i won't be doing this in the future but it's nice to know that for a fact i don't think i could work in an office setting like this for the rest of my life HHH but it's okay, i don't mind organizing things for other ppl esp if it will help the company in the long run !!! and about my clothes SLKDFJ i totally agree !!! like we said we don't like our bank account hitting below a certain number so everything i buy is like an "investment" like u said hehe so most of the things i buy for example jeans are over $70 for me but i know i'll probably go a whole year not buying another pair and wearing those most likely everyday lol u know ? it's very warm where i am (most days lol) so i've been buying some light weight clothing !!! i don't like wearing jean shorts or anything like that, my fav material to wear in the summer is linen and cotton so i've been buying a lot of flowy linen pants <3 i got a pair from the store madewell, and bc i was on holiday this week i went to this one swimsuit store called everything but water and they sell pricier swimwear but i get so fed up trying to go to cheaper stores to look for swim tops bc i have bigger boobs hhhh and nothing makes me feel comfortable in my own skin so i don't mind spending money on something i feel comfortable in !! anyways i bought a bathing suit from there and then i think that's it ?? i was going to buy some jo malone perfume but it's so expensive so i didn't ;____;

U ARE BACK ON THE HEAVEN TRAIN WOO HOO <3 lol it is such a good song ....... i told u it's in my top 3 comfort songs <3 and about the eng album !!! yes i totally agree, i think they're aware of how much they're doing and honestly i think they should take advantage at every opportunity that comes their way as long as they feel that have control of the situation :)

and ALL OF THIS LAST MESSAGE MADE ME CRY WHEN I READ THIS :((( i tell my mom about all my anons lololol and she knows about u and ur work and i read this last part to her and she thought it was so sweet of u to say ;_____; it's kinda comforting knowing i am not the only one who has these doubts about the last year of uni :( i don't get much feedback from my family (besides my mom and grandparents) about if they're proud of me or not , i don't think they really get how hard it is for me being a nursing student but i just want to do well at whatever i do :( i want to be able to look at myself and go "hey u know what ur doing and ur doing really well".... i just hope i get there someday ;____; i have so many anxieties and maybe i need to talk to someone about them bc i think they hinder my nursing performance rather than help me but just knowing someone like u cares out there ........ i mean u know me but we have never met and u are so sure about my abilities and i can't tell u how thankful i am for someone like u <3 truly brings tears to me eyes <3 i want to give u a hug too :( thank u for ur kind words always i could cry right now ;_____;

[phobiadeficient]

hey!!! I've been a fan of your work since your long running speeding bullet fic started! ur writing has been really inspirational to read, and I've fallen in love with the style of prose you use. would you consider doing something with stockings or the like with speeding bullet? love, the tea anon

thanks tea anon!! dude that’s been a fuckin while then huh sheesh dude thanks for stickin with me. this is a longer one for not as much nsfw but hey it happens

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Scout knew he had good legs, alright? He already knew that. They were on the same page about Scout’s absolutely killer legs. Fuckin’ fantastic. What he didn’t get was why Sniper felt the need to add something else to the mix there. Why mess with perfection? It was a little insulting.

The only reason he was even considering this was the fact that Sniper had, first of all, asked very nicely. Gone to the effort of buttering him up over it and everything. Brought it up when they were out to eat—not anywhere too fancy, because they didn’t like too fancy and there wasn’t anywhere like that nearby anyways—and been real sweet about it. And second of all, Sniper had mentioned in passing, not naming any dates in particular, that it was his birthday fairly soon. And third…

Well.

He was sat on his bed, looking over the dumb things, late at night when he was pretty sure nobody else was gonna come by and try and bother him. And man. They were like, high quality. And it wasn’t like Scout would actually know or anything, he didn’t have a ton of experience with that sort of stuff, but they looked like they must’ve been expensive.

He rubbed the material of the stockings between his finger and thumb, amazed at the smoothness of it. He remembered being a kid and fucking around with all the coats and hats and stuff they had lined up next to their door in the winter, and really hating how itchy the lace on his mom’s scarf was, even just against his fingers, but these were soft. Really soft. Soft and smooth and…

Sniper wasn’t really the type to blow through money on stuff. Even out of the food he bought to stock his camper, the only name brand stuff he had was the soda he kept for Scout and this one specific brand of beer. He was always wicked careful with money, so careful, and that he clearly spent a real pretty penny on this one thing that he wanted Scout to just wear once to try it out and that Scout might’ve said no to…

Scout looked down at his legs, bared by the shorts he’d put on to sleep. And in his own head he’d managed to land on indignance that Sniper apparently didn’t think they were good enough on their own, their being damn great and all, but… these were too nice for him. The muscle definition he had going on was straight up insane. But his legs were pretty hairy, overall.

Scout’s facial hair grew so slowly it might as well not be growing at all, it taking a solid month for him to even get proper stubble through how light his hair was, but he owned a razor anyways. He went and grabbed it, and headed to go take a late night shower.

An hour later, back in his room, he was stood looking in his mirror, legs now very nice and smooth (except for one or two places around his knees where he’d knicked himself a bit but no big deal), in a pair of briefs and holding up the stockings in front of himself trying to visualize how they would look.

Okay. So they were fuckin’ nice. They were gonna look great. He was pretty sure the second Sniper walked in and saw Scout sitting around in these, he was either going to cream himself on the goddamn spot or do that real nice thing where he pinned Scout down and growled all kinds of filth into his ear until Scout creamed himself on the goddamn spot. They were gonna look fuckin’ good.

But the briefs were fucking up his look. Like, they fit good and everything, but standard navy briefs with really expensive stockings? He was putting three thousand dollar rims on a hatchback, here.

He walked over to his dresser, started digging through.

And, okay, the panties weren’t his, first of all, he didn’t buy them or anything. They were from back when he was super into the dating scene, when they were stationed near enough to a bigger town so that it was an option. And he felt a little bad that he didn’t even remember the girl’s name that they belonged to, but it wasn’t like he’d stolen them or anything, she’d just left it behind and he figured, hey, why the hell not. It wasn’t like the shitty motel needed them, probably had a stack of the things in the back room or whatever. And maybe he’d see her again and be able to give them back. (He absolutely hadn’t.)

But they were black like the stockings, and the girl had been like, about his size—maybe a bit bigger actually, at least roundwise, because when it came to girls maybe he had a little bit of a type—and he was pretty sure they’d fit him, just seeing them next to his briefs in the drawer.

He pulled them on, and the stockings as well for good measure, and went to stand in front of the mirror.

They actually fit pretty good. He had to kind of mess with how his dick was sat, and where the waist of it was supposed to be, but once he got everything situated, they fit good. And they weren’t quite as bombshell fancy as the stockings, but still damn nice.

His gaze drifted up, landed on his dog tags. The clasp was kinda twisted around towards the front, and he fixed it. His hair was kinda wet and messy from the shower he’d just taken, and he brushed it into better order with one hand, smoothing down the places where it tried to be weird, mussing it a little.

And, okay. He wasn’t a short guy or anything, he was pretty average, maybe an inch or two on some guys, even a little taller-looking just because he had good posture. But Sniper was like, six foot three, and his boots gave him almost another inch. It was ridiculous.

And some part of Scout figured, hey, dressed all nice, looking really good, it would be nice to be tall too.

The heels were from a Halloween costume a few years back, when he’d done a fun bit and spent the few weeks before the part going on about how his costume was gonna be from Bonnie and Clyde, and everyone ragging on him that he would never be able to pull off Clyde for a laundry list of reasons, and then when the actual day came he showed up as Bonnie. It was hilarious—at least to a few of the team. Spy and Medic thought it was really dumb. But a few of the mercs and Miss Pauling had all laughed, so it was totally worth it.

And he still had the heels. He’d lost most of the rest of the costume—he was pretty sure he still had the sweater?—but he definitely still had the heels. They’d been expensive and simple enough that he figured he could reuse them some other year for a different costume.

They’d blistered like a bitch when he’d tried to break them in before the party, but he’d messed with them enough that he wouldn’t literally die when he had to wear them all night for the party itself, and now they were comfortable, and made him a solid few inches taller.

Made his legs look even nicer, too. And when he stepped over to the mirror again after putting them on, they made a real nice click against the floor. Hm. Damn, dude. He gave himself a spin, a twist back and forth, and damn. Damn.

He looked fuckin’ good.

Okay. So Sniper was absolutely right. The stockings were a great idea. He was aware that he was already pretty hot shit, but seriously. If he saw a person this attractive in public, he wouldn’t even be able to talk to them. Like, legally. He’d walk up and be like “hey what’s up” and then they’d probably have like a bodyguard or something who would step forward all “no autographs” and like, call him buddy but in the way that meant he was about to get his neck snapped. That hot.

He’d never really thought of the word “prettyboy” as an actual insult, it was only really an insult for guys too macho to appreciate a different kind of aesthetic, but he’d never really gotten any kind of feeling in particular about it being stuck to him. But now? Boy was he pretty. And he was kind of super into it. Confidence boost, like the one time every billion years when he actually got Uber’d because Medic was popping it anyways because he was about to die and trying to retreat and hey, might as well buff Scout since he was literally the only other person in a hundred foot radius.

He was totally gonna fuck up Sniper’s whole week with this. He was gonna break Sniper with how good he looked. Dude was gonna have a heart attack and drop dead. Holy shit.

The next day he went over to visit Sniper before breakfast and all but demanded that Sniper make time for him that evening. And all through battle he was at the top of his game, moving like a maniac and wreaking absolute havoc on the field. He got a clap on the back from Engie on the way off the field, a friendly bump on the shoulder from Demo, and at Soldier’s usual daily “be better at your job” lecture to each individual teammate, Scout found his laden with pauses as Soldier tried to think of anything he did that was even a little less than top notch.

He felt good. He felt real good. And when he got back to his room after showers and pulled on the outfit, sweatpants and a t-shirt over top, heels packed into his bag with a few more essentials for sleeping over (because he felt good enough that he had a feeling there would be a couple rounds over the course of the evening, and he didn’t wanna trudge back to base after all that), he still felt good, felt incredible even. Sniper wasn’t even gonna know what hit him.

He got to the camper, kissed Sniper in greeting, and Sniper was in high spirits as well, maybe picking up on Scout’s good mood. He allowed himself a long feel up the back of Scout’s shirt, and Scout grinned at it, glancing Sniper up and down.

“Hey,” he started in, pausing where he’d idly been working at Sniper’s buttons, the top few popped open. “Remember that thing you asked? When we went out to eat?”

Sniper’s eyebrow rose. “The outfit?”

Scout nodded, grinning all the wider. “Yeah, well, I’ve been thinkin’ about it,” he said, head tilting a little to one side, “and I figured I’d try it on, see how I’d look and all. And I liked it, so…”

Sniper’s gaze was intense.

“So, I put it on,” Scout said.

Sniper’s hand shifted to hold onto Scout’s thigh, pulling Scout in and against himself as he did so. “Is that right?” he asked, other eyebrow rising to match the first.

“Yeah.” He pushed on Sniper’s chest. “But you gotta get outta here for a second so I can show you. I wanna do this right.”

Sniper shrugged, disconnecting from Scout, doing the buttons of his shirt back up in a few efficient movements. “Would a few minutes work?” he asked, picking his hat up and putting it on.

“Yeah. Like, five minutes,” Scout agreed.

“Awright. I’ll knock before I come back in,” he said, and stepped outside, closing the door behind him with a parting wink.

Scout closed the blinds and stripped quickly, kicking off his shoes and putting the heels on instead. He fixed his tags in the mirror, combing his hand through his hair a few times fretfully.

Okay. He looked good. He knew he looked good. He looked great. Really hot. And he totally had this.

A glance at the little clock next to Sniper’s bed. Two minutes had passed.

Okay, so he was a little nervous actually. Sniper didn’t have a full length mirror, so he just sorta had to lean on the table to pull the stockings up to just the right place on his legs, had to twist to get a good look at himself, had to hope nothing was crooked because it was kind of hard to tell. And then he couldn’t figure out where he wanted to be when Sniper came back in—standing? Sitting on the table? On the bed?

A glance at the clock. Three minutes.

He leaned on the table, feeing a little tense. Okay. So he thought he looked good. But suddenly Scout couldn’t help but wonder if Sniper was going to think he looked good. Was all of what he was doing… too much? He’d only asked for the stockings, and here Scout was, heels and stuff, and maybe Sniper would just take one step in the door and laugh. And maybe Sniper wasn’t even actually sure he liked stockings, and just wanted to try something new. And now Scout was trying way too hard, and was going to seem ridiculous—

Four minutes.

He hadn’t planned for this. His sleep clothes were just a pair of boxers and the shirt he’d worn over in the first place, he didn’t have something less dumb to change into, especially not considering the track record they had with clothes getting dirty, and even if he took all the stuff off Sniper would probably want to do something to make sure he didn’t waste his evening, and… and there wasn’t time to change now anyways. He laid down on the bed, hand over his face, trying desperately to feel less stupid, to put on a game face for when Sniper came in, to not look like a complete and utter wreck.

He was such an idiot.

A knock at the door. He managed something like a “come in”, and forced his gaze to stay facing the ceiling when he heard it open, even as he managed to pull his hand down, folding his arms behind his head.

Silence. The door closing, firmly, and locking. “Holy dooley,” Sniper practically gasped, and Scout swallowed hard, couldn’t help but glance over. Sniper’s jaw was hanging, hat in his hand at his side.

He wanted a little bit to curl up and hide. He didn’t, just looking at Sniper.

“Stand,” Sniper tried, but his throat was dry, and he needed to clear it before he tried to speak again. “Stand up.”

Scout felt a tremor in his hands as he followed the instruction, absolutely on fire. Sniper stepped forward to meet him after a few seconds, holding him out at arm’s length, gaze catching on all sorts of things as he looked down, down.

When he finally looked up to meet Scout’s eyes, it was with a grin. “Felt like being tall, aye?” he asked, teasing.

“Maybe,” Scout said, a little defensive.

“Gorgeous little thing,” Sniper murmured, threading fingers through his hair against his scalp and pushing Scout’s head down anyways so Sniper could press a kiss to his temple, his chuckle reverberating through Scout’s chest. “Feels almost like I ought to be paying you. You look too nice to be standin’ around in a cramped little place like this on purpose.”

“You can pay me by not makin’ fun and not tellin’ anybody I wore this,” Scout murmured right back, leaning in to bury his face in Sniper’s neck.

“Darl, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed,” Sniper asked, a smile on his voice.

“I’m annoyed,” Scout corrected, even thought he wasn’t. “You’re lucky it’s almost your birthday.”

“I really am,” Sniper agreed, hand down on Scout’s thigh, toying with one of the tiny little bows, much further within his reach with the heels. “Mind if I lay you out and get a good look at you?”

“Fine,” Scout said, halfway to a sigh, and sat down on the bed. Before he could turn and lay down, Sniper was pushing his legs apart with a hand on either knee and kneeling between them.

He picked up one of Scout’s legs and lifted it to place it over his shoulder, turning his head to nose at the intricate patterns of the lace. He hummed, satisfied and pleased, eyes falling closed as he placed kisses scattered randomly across the expanse he had available to him.

Another chuckle, muffled into skin and thin fabric. “Oh, darl, I’m not making it ten minutes before I fall apart on you if you’re in this,” he admitted, flashing a half-apologetic half-hungry look up at Scout.

He felt his breath catch. A few seconds to collect himself enough to respond. “Well, as long as you’re good for more than one round,” he teased, only slightly wavering.

Sniper didn’t give a verbal reply to that, just starting in on a mark up above where the lace ended on Scout’s thigh, thumb drawing circles against fabric with one hand as the other set to work patiently starting to pull off his own clothes

He riled Scout up past the point of forgetting how embarrassing his outfit was and right up into desperate, into trying to touch himself and Sniper leaning up to pin his arms down, grinding slow rolls against Scout’s ass, boxers dulling the feeling down to just the push and pressure of it, until he was outright begging for Sniper to get on with it. Sniper yanked the panties down and off of him and sucked him off slow and patient, indulging Scout in two fingers only when he begged for them, and he hadn’t had eyes on the clock or anything, but he spent himself down Sniper’s throat in something like five minutes flat.

Sniper made a sound of discomfort when he finally sat up, rolling his shoulders. Scout got up on his elbows, fixing him with a look of confusion somewhere under the contentment, watching him trying to reach a hand to his own back, wincing hard.

“You okay?” Scout asked, starting to frown, sitting up fully with the help of shaky arms.

“Think the bloody heels got me,” Sniper grunted.

Scout caught sight of his back and his eyes widened. “Jesus,” he said, “turn around real quick?”

Sniper did, and Scout’s eyebrows shot up.

There were a series of marks along Sniper’s back, some of them scratches, mostly just sharp lines. It looked like Sniper had whacked himself on a table corner by accident, except a good five or six times and only along his back. Scout felt his face flush. He knew once in the past Sniper had complained about Scout having knocked him on the back pretty hard, but he hadn’t really considered the heels being a problem.

“Oh god,” Scout managed, leaning forward, brushing a thumb along one of the worse ones and being a little alarmed at the fact that it was bleeding. “Uh. You’ve got a first aid kit in here, right?”

“Scout,” Sniper said sternly.

“I—I’m gonna be honest, I knew this outfit was probably really gonna fuck with you, but I, I didn’t think it’d… this isn’t what I thought,” Scout managed, face burning hot.

“You fuckin’ drongo,” Sniper growled, swatting at him loosely and moving to dig through one of the cabinets.

“Sorry,” Scout tried, and meant it.

“Just—right, put a sheet on, lord knows I won’t be able to take care of this if I’m looking at you in that,” Sniper directed, giving him a sidelong glance and up-and-down to illustrate, and Scout did so without protest, dragging the sheet from the bed up around himself loosely, covering up to about his ribcage. “Care to help, darl?”

“Yeah,” Scout agreed. “And—and I’ll make it up to you. Promise.”

Sniper raised an eyebrow at him, hands pausing for a minute.

“Like—“ Scout fished through his mind for something he could offer to make up for the mood being abruptly ruined. “Like, I’ll buy the next pair of these.”

“A whole set, maybe?” Sniper asked, joking now, eyes front.

“Sure.”

That seemed to take him by surprise, and he groaned, finally fishing out a first aid kit and standing up. “Cripes, mate, don’t get me thinking about it,” he warned, handing it over and sitting between Scout’s legs, turned away from him. “Need to clean these up before anything else.”

“Sure,” Scout repeated, and pulled a sanitizing wipe from its package. “Alright. This is gonna sting.”