#upandcomingphotographer

[courageousexposure]

Winterflowers.

[totallyvain]

Vanity Hour with Carlos Vara: Handling the Seasons of Life

Hometown: Lexington, South Carolina

Sounds like: Your next favorite pop bop

WORDS BY: THANIA GARCIA

In American culture, the search for independence comes at the age of 18. For Carlos Vara, this was exceptionally true. At 18, Vara moved to Nashville in search of a life separate from the emotional cuff to his father who had previously owned nightclubs but had abruptly found religion in the small town of Lexington in South Carolina. This along with the struggle of being closeted in a small town naturally pushed Vara to search for newness in a city rich of musical history.

At 21, Vara has somewhat of a grasp on his day to day life. Bouncing back from Nashville to Los Angeles, Vara has completed his anticipated October 4th release of “Have You Ever Seen a Boy Break Down” -  an EP meant to encapsulate his past few years bouncing from season to season in the versatile chapters of his life.

“When I was a teenager on X-Factor I thought I was going to be…well I loved songwriting and I loved singing, but I didn’t necessarily know who I was at the time. I was in the closet in the suburbs and I was growing up as a preacher’s kid so there was that phase. Then there was the phase of me moving to Nashville at 18 and coming out and discovering myself and exploring the boundaries of my mind and challenging myself and my ideas… I think that phase of my life lead to the music I made at that time and now I’m in a completely separate phase…what I create now are journal entries of specific eras of my life.”

In my interview with Vara, a clear conflict arises - a conflict found in the lyricism of his past couple releases. Vara shares, “I do have experiences where I’m like out and I’m like ‘Am I this person?’…because as I said I’ve gone through so many different stages in my life.”

Listen to “Confident,” Vara’s February 2019 release and you will fully understand this divide - a truly personal and internal divide.

Vara says, “The people who knew me at 18 would think I’m this quiet shy person. It’s like imposter syndrome for yourself it’s almost like you don’t think you have the right to be this brand new version of yourself. I feel it especially because I’ve been through so many extremes but I think now I’m in a stage where I’m like ‘why can’t I just embrace every single emotion?’ ‘why can’t I just live through these phases’ they are the best parts of life and it’s freeing to be what you want to be whenever you want to be.”

—————————————————————————————

Totally Vain: Your life has had clear chapters from your upbringing in North Carolina, to the X-Factor, to your time in Nashville and LA. When you look back at these past few years, how do you compare your artistic vision from then to now?

Carlos: “It’s interesting you say that because it is so true… I think …well actually I was talking about this yesterday when I was stoned with my friends that I feel like I’ve lived distinct phases of my life. I think through the process of growing up, my artistic vision and the way I think has changed. My music is always changing, depending on how my environment changes..because it stays so true to that. To me, my writing is based off my reality at the time, I will always be satisfied with it because I make music to be able to express myself and to be able to purge”

TV: Your environments have all had very distinct setbacks and advantages, how have they affected you in relation to the music industry?

Carlos: “I remember being a kid and watching TV and award shows and listening to music in the car…I knew I had a passion for music but being in South Carolina meant I didn’t have an uncle who was an executive, or any relation to the industry itself. I didn’t see anyone who had come out of South Carolina, all I saw was people coming from New York or Los Angeles so I just never had that hope. Senior year of high school I moved to Nashville by myself and finished graduating online. I was working restaurant jobs. I worked so many restaurants from 18 until last year before I got signed. I think that moving to Nashville was the first time in my life when I felt like I had some possibility to make it. Thank God for Instagram and Spotify and Apple music. I think that really became a way for me to connect to people who appreciate music the same way I do and connect to artists as far as co-writes. Especially in Nashville since it is a songwriting community, it definitely helped when it came to writing. Moving there was the first time I was able to discover who I am as an artist and figure myself out, retain my thoughts and grow up and figure out what I believe and have the opportunity to collaborate with people around me.”

TV: An overarching idea in your releases is confidence, both the reaction to confidence and personal self-confidence, from where do you think that idea stems from? And what kind of conflicts or internal struggles do you still have?

Carlos: “My friends know me as a very extreme person meaning I truly feel every emotion I have. I’m either going fucking crazy at a party or I’m like I want to go home. There is no in-between. I feel like for me since I am so emotional, I tend to feel it all at once and songwriting allowed me to be able to go home at 2 A.M. and smoke and just sit at the piano and play whatever is on my mind. I think it’s a way of me being able to work through any struggles I may have and for me to fully comprehend those emotions and see it as a full picture…for instance, I am extroverted but I’m sensitive and insecure so those feelings are both there at the same time. I mean it. I’ll be at a party being the loudest one there and thinking everyone hates me so it’s like I think that when I write, I want to be able to capture what that feels like. When I wrote “Confident,” I was in LA for the summer and it was my first time being out here for a super extended period of time and I had just turned 21 so I was able to get into all the gay clubs and it was exciting but it was stressful. I wanted to appear like I was cool and kept up with everyone but I just remember going to a club and being like shwasted and like going home and crying in the Uber. I’m just out here pretending to be confident and I was mad at myself and angry at myself for faking confidence and I went home and wrote a few lines for “Confident.” I think from an outside perspective people think I’m this super confident boisterous person and I guess I am but internally it’s rooted to a lot of sadness because I am freaking out inside.”

TV: Who were the artists who spoke to you the most growing up and what did you pull from in their work that you apply to your own?

Carlos: “I think of it in phases. My mom had me when she was 21 so at that time my mom only listened to pop radio and like Christina and Britney, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston all these pop vocals and also my parents owned nightclubs so I was always surrounded by an energetic musical atmosphere. Around age seven, my parents became more religious and my dad became a pastor we went to a church with a big African American community so they were soulful in their gospel and that’s when I allowed myself to become more emotional with my music and I wanted to create to provoke emotion. When I was 16/17, I went online and I discovered the things I wouldn’t normally have access to like the Beatles and the Beach Boys and Queen and Freddie. Those three eras, have all formed me today. I don’t know if I have one specific source of inspiration but it was a melting pot for sure.”

TV: As you’ve been coming to find an artistic persona, what have you found your overarching message to be?

Carlos: “I want to always be real to myself as an artist. Growing up I was always the weird kid and I never felt that I had someone I could relate to. Now I feel I’ve been blessed to have been able to reach out to kids that feel that same way I felt and I want to make music whether it be a fast fun bop or an emotional ballad, I want the music to be passionate and dramatic and I want to be a part of the world in that way, I want to create. It’s a spiritual thing, it comes out and I know how it makes me feel and I hope that when other people hear my EP, I want them to be able to feel that emotion and have a small escape or a meaningful feeling.”

TV: Can you give me a little breakdown on what kind of lyricism and sounds we can expect from your upcoming EP?

Carlos: “The cool thing about this EP is I was able to create both in Nashville and in Los Angeles. Living in Nashville, it is very much a lyric community and in Los Angeles, there is more of an emphasis on melodies, so it’s been cool and inspiring to have access to both. For me, this EP embodies real lyricism and dramatic melodies. It’s a real and vulnerable introduction to who I am and what these past 3 years of my life have been like.”

[laraalcantara]

𝗣𝗨𝗧𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗬 𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗗𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗘.. She Started taking her clouds and diagnosing them and putting them into their right place. Fixing and reorganizing to create harmony. Inner harmony. She dismembered the clouds and analyzed them. When is it too much? So many tears evaporated and made clouds rumble and tumble with winds blowing and turning. Reading, contemplating, reorganizing, understanding and placing priorities. Trying to keep myself in the present and not the future or the past. Forgiving herself. Knowing and understanding that she did things out of a place of love. The judgement of others are not her problem. If they liked her or not wasn’t Hers to decipher. She lived under her rules, she lived with her heart in her hands, and loved blindly. Happy Monday guys! Healing is a thrill!!!! Take the time to heal yourself and the relationship with YOU! Xoxo From Miami! Lara #laraalcantara #laraalcantaraphotography #arristavenezolana #cosasbuenasvienen #trabajandoenmi #workingonmyself #artistUBS #artistartbasel #photographerinny #upandcomingphotographer #photographystories (at Miami, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgcWekElSAY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ht-craftedcurated]

Brief nice light in the Crack Kitchen this aft, take it while you can 🌡🕳 - #upandcomingphotographer #nofilters #crackkitchen https://www.instagram.com/p/B24W5MLgfZj/?igshid=m381t8knqgfj

[elliedinesphotography]

beachside blues

[blowwfish68]

©photo by sinan stäheli. My roomroommate at work. #sinanstäheli, #photography, #roomateworking, #athome, #playingwithhiscamera, #modeling, #strikeapose, #smile, #saycheese, #upandcomingphotographer, #soontobefamous (hier: Konrad)

[ksheffieldphotography]

A shoot at Penthouse studios using my Hasselblad 500C with 80mmCF lens⁠ ⁠Model: @dj.shai ⁠ #hasselblad #filmisnotdead #analogphotography #filmphotography #staybrokeshootfilm #ishootfilm #mediumformatfilm #shootfilmnotmegapixels #shootfilm #ksheffieldphotography #mediumformat #filmographic #sharefilm #filmshooterscollective #germany #120mm #kodakfilm #kodak #love #toldwithexposure #chasinglight #portra400 #hasselblad500C #upandcomingphotographer #blackphotographers #africanamericanphotographers (at Downtown LA) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIXwnVmJPi3/?igshid=15d9od7fyy1wx

[electricfirered]

Reposting @unphoundphotography: … “Here’s another from #shermanisland road #unphoundphotography #beautifulsky #cottoncandyclouds #beautiful #beautifulnature #beautifulclouds #beautifulcloudysky #sunsets #sunset_sunrise_worldhubphoto #super_sunset_channel #beautifulsunset #igskylovers #iginstagood #igsunrisesunset #igsunset #awesomephotographydaily #awesomephotographers #photographerfocus #photographerlovers #photographerfanatics #photographerlife #photographyfreaks #worldsbestpicturesdaily #sunshine #sunchaser #skychaser #beautifullandscapes #upandcomingphotographer” #Sky

[englishaliengods]

Reposting @unphoundphotography: ... "Here's another from #shermanisland road #unphoundphotography #beautifulsky #cottoncandyclouds #beautiful #beautifulnature #beautifulclouds #beautifulcloudysky #sunsets #sunset_sunrise_worldhubphoto #super_sunset_channel #beautifulsunset #igskylovers #iginstagood #igsunrisesunset #igsunset #awesomephotographydaily #awesomephotographers #photographerfocus #photographerlovers #photographerfanatics #photographerlife #photographyfreaks #worldsbestpicturesdaily #sunshine #sunchaser #skychaser #beautifullandscapes #upandcomingphotographer" #Sky

[go-sunlight-love]

#Sunlight Reposting @unphoundphotography: … “Here’s another from #shermanisland road #unphoundphotography #beautifulsky #cottoncandyclouds #beautiful #beautifulnature #beautifulclouds #beautifulcloudysky #sunsets #sunset_sunrise_worldhubphoto #super_sunset_channel #beautifulsunset #igskylovers #iginstagood #igsunrisesunset #igsunset #awesomephotographydaily #awesomephotographers #photographerfocus #photographerlovers #photographerfanatics #photographerlife #photographyfreaks #worldsbestpicturesdaily #sunshine #sunchaser #skychaser #beautifullandscapes #upandcomingphotographer” #Sky https://buff.ly/2lA5LJa

[flamefirecrimson]

Reposting @unphoundphotography: … “Here’s another from #shermanisland road #unphoundphotography #beautifulsky #cottoncandyclouds #beautiful #beautifulnature #beautifulclouds #beautifulcloudysky #sunsets #sunset_sunrise_worldhubphoto #super_sunset_channel #beautifulsunset #igskylovers #iginstagood #igsunrisesunset #igsunset #awesomephotographydaily #awesomephotographers #photographerfocus #photographerlovers #photographerfanatics #photographerlife #photographyfreaks #worldsbestpicturesdaily #sunshine #sunchaser #skychaser #beautifullandscapes #upandcomingphotographer” #Sky

[laraalcantara]

𝗦𝗨𝗕𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗚𝗜𝗡𝗚 ⁣ ⁣ @vogueitalia publication! ⁣ ⁣ I’m excited to announce the publication of another tryptic in Italian VOGUE. ⁣ ⁣ I woke up today a little off.. with a heavy heart ♥️ ⁣ ⁣ Then I thought the deal here with myself is to get out of bed and push through. ⁣ ⁣ The gift of impermanence “Anicca” everything ends nothing is permanent. ⁣ ⁣ I have the power to push through and then this happened!!!! ⁣ ⁣ Happy Monday guys!!!!! ⁣ ⁣ #laraalcantaravogue #laraalcantara #fotografaenny #photographyny #fotografavenezolana #photographervenezuela #latinainnyc #artistavenezolana #upandcomingphotographer #vogueitalia #laraalcantaraitalia #theotherartfair (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdD7kD6Oa0m/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[alexismariechute]

One of my biggest artist crushes is @brookeshaden - her photography is fine art, her images magical, and her creative spirit immensely inspiring. Words from Brooke ⤵️ ・・・ I love creating from scratch, making something from nothing, using what I have to bring a vision to life. In this case I used paper stars. In others it has been bed sheets to look like dresses, a figurine of a boat to look like a ship, lamps to light my scenes, and a single key to look like a thousand. If we start to think that money or connections or gear will make or break our creativity then it is doomed from the start. Let those things help us in the company of our pure will to create. But never let them dictate if we are artists. Create no matter what. Have you ever used something unexpected to create with? 💛 . . . #photography #mixedmedia #mixedmediaart #contemporaryart #art #emergingart #modernart #artist #beinspired #artgallery #dailyart #infocus #instaart #famousartist #photographer #upandcomingartist #artstagram #artcurator #artcollector #artdealer #upandcomingphotographer #emergingartist

[ksheffieldphotography]

shoot at the penthouse studios using my Hasselblad 500C with 150mm F4 Sonnar Location @thegoodjungle ⁠Model: Kerry ⁠ ⁠ Thanks to @shutterspeednetwork for setting up this shoot!⁠ ⁠ Image shot on Kodak Portra 400⁠ ⁠ #hasselblad #filmisnotdead #analogphotography #filmphotography #staybrokeshootfilm #ishootfilm #mediumformatfilm #shootfilmnotmegapixels #shootfilm #ksheffieldphotography #mediumformat #filmographic #sharefilm #filmshooterscollective #germany #120mm #kodakfilm #kodak #love #toldwithexposure #chasinglight #portra400 #hasselblad500C #upandcomingphotographer #blackphotographers #africanamericanphotographer (at Woodland Hills, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3xOxeepCzj/?igshid=1dnti80qsgxc7

[katflame]

Beautiful Lioness #lion #safari #safaripark #lionness #cute #silly #california #zoo #sandiego #sandiegosafaripark #beautifulgirl #wildlifephotography #wildlife #professionalphotography #myphotography #mypassion #myhobby #upandcomingphotographer (at San Diego Zoo Safari Park)

[electricfirered]

Reposting @unphoundphotography: … “Here’s another from #shermanisland road #unphoundphotography #beautifulsky #cottoncandyclouds #beautiful #beautifulnature #beautifulclouds #beautifulcloudysky #sunsets #sunset_sunrise_worldhubphoto #super_sunset_channel #beautifulsunset #igskylovers #iginstagood #igsunrisesunset #igsunset #awesomephotographydaily #awesomephotographers #photographerfocus #photographerlovers #photographerfanatics #photographerlife #photographyfreaks #worldsbestpicturesdaily #sunshine #sunchaser #skychaser #beautifullandscapes #upandcomingphotographer” #Sky