#unwritten au

[valtsv]

do you ever think of me and my two hands, and wonder why they never soothed your fevers? and wonder why they never tied your shoes? and wonder why they never held you gently?

in other news i'm still in hell with these two

[canisalbus]

My headcanon for Modern!Machete before he encounters (re-encounters?) Vasco is that he works in some high-powered but low-profile position for an influential and well-known multinational. Like a corporate lawyer or accountant for Apple or Volkswagon or Shell. He's very, very good at his job, his assistants and staff think he's a good boss, his boss thinks he's great, but half his colleagues can't stand him because they think he got promoted for sucking up to their boss instead of for his skills (it was for his skills). He's got exactly enough interpersonal skills to recognize the problem and not enough to fix it. He gets paid extremely well, well enough to mostly pretend that he's happy and fulfilled (he still ends up happier in the Modern!AU because his job only sucks a little instead of literally destroying him. Also because modern medicine means his medical situation is much better understood and controlled). Yes this is all just the modern equivalent to what canon!Machete's got going on but it's startling how much carries over with no changes.

Oh that's so well thought out actually, I love that.

[spacerockband]

Calamity Unwritten part 6 - personal problems

[phoenixcatch7]

More possessed doll au!

Each time a bat is ready to take on a new form, they must pay a visit to the tea party. Should they be accepted, through whatever strange reasons the dolls use, they will find another figure seated at the table, dressed in full tea party doll regalia. It is up to them to modify the doll within the limits imposed, and learn its form to achieve its full potential. The Robin doll, so far, is the only one to return to the table despite being moved to a display case, and truly makes the mysterious sidekick timeless.

Despite its obviously supernatural origins, the bats have found very, very little can effect the dolls outside of physical force. They do not use wires and electricity to move or think - they cannot be hacked. They are not, to their knowledge, superseding other minds - they cannot be exorcised. They use no magics to fight crime - they cannot be traced. They have no blood to be identified, no teeth pattern to compare, no fingerprints or retina to give them away. Gas cannot affect them, hypnosis requires a brain, pain cannot override them. For all intents and purposes, the dolls are perfect for fighting crime.

So where, Bruce thinks, lying awake in bed one night after patrol, do they come from? Alfred knows nothing, neither of them found anything in the archives or library. His father grew up on the estate - surely he'd explored the caves himself at some point? The doll had been right at the well entrance - had he simply never entered that way?

After the first time meeting their doll, they do not need to touch it to transfer their consciousness again. It's a breeze through an open window, ever so slight, in the back of their minds, and one simple twist can send them spiralling into their other body.

But when Robin became Nightwing, and the child sized body was retired, it was placed in a sturdy glass display case. Jason was already making noises about joining them on the streets, but a transition had never been attempted. They assumed a third doll would become the new Robin, and the first would simply become inert.

That was not the case.

When Jason - against Bruce's decision to wait a few more months - decided to make the walk to the doll house, and deeper still to the tea party cave, he found, waiting, an untouched child sized doll. The light from his torch cast across its Victorian style waistcoat, the plumped breeches and buckled leather booties, all in the bright and bold colours of his predecessor. It sat at the right hand of the empty throne, porcelain tea cup in hand, as though left by a rich little girl called away just a moment ago to supper.

The doll had been sorted in a locked case. Glass. In full view of the main area of the batcave. With cameras. It should not have been able to be taken away without several people noticing. He had taken a different route to try and sneak past Bruce, but...

It was not the first time a doll had moved. It would not be the last.

@puppetmaster13u

@dehydratedmockingbird

[neonnoir-ao3]

Okay so I absolutely adore both high fantasy levels of storytelling as well as extremely mundane AUs. But when it comes to making my own AUs? I’m the ultimate slut for hilariously mundane slice-of-life stuff. (I literally made a domestic/family AU for what is considered one of the scariest analog horror series to date)

So as soon as I saw the words “carnival AU” in a post from @sm-baby about their carnival AU (I am begging you to check it out, it’s absolutely phenomenal), I had the stupidest fucking thought: a shitty little Showtime carnival AU

No, literally. A literal carnival.

Like a traveling circus with a midway of games and shit. County fair style rides that are literal death traps. The whole nine yards.

Pomni is a disgruntled wage slave (nothing new) who starts her new second (perhaps even third?) job: a temporary one at a local carnival. It’s like a month long event at most, but extra cash is extra cash.

Alongside her, Gangle and Zooble are also temporary workers for the event. Jax, Ragatha, and Kinger are circus members— Ragatha is one of those human pincushions in the sense that she has an insanely high pain tolerance (she also does sword swallowing). Kinger is a magician, and Jax does acrobatics or something idk. Caine, as always, is the ringmaster.

So Pomni & crew are working the carnival games and stuff while the circus does their performances, but they all share a break area so they know each other and shoot the shit, but she never sees the ringmaster. The circus members allude to him being… off. Ragatha says he’s just eccentric, but Jax basically paints them a picture of a genuinely unhinged man. Pomni is now extremely afraid of the guy that’s in charge of her paycheck.

She manages to get her check as an auto-deposit, but a few weeks in the system is down for their bank and she has to actually find Caine to get paid. She pussies out and is like “I’ll just hope the system is working by Monday, I can eat ramen and tap water for two days”.

It’s been a shit day overall— it’s pouring rain and there’s been like no customers, so she’s ready to get the hell home. She gets to her car, only to find her keys locked inside.

She’s cold, she’s wet, and she’s stuck out there. She’s trying extremely hard not to cry about it. She pulls out her phone, and googles lock-picking videos.

After like 25 minutes she gives up, just crying on the ground next to her car in the rain. She’s having the mentally ill equivalent of a Feel The Rain On Your Skin moment when suddenly the rain stops. She looks up to see a guy with an umbrella. She’s never seen him around before. He takes her into the backstage area of the circus show and gets her warm and dry. She learns that this guy is indeed the infamous Caine she’s heard about and tries not to panic.

*yadda-yadda-yadda slowly falling in love/aspects I haven’t fleshed out yet*

They’re interested in one another and want to stay together but the show leaves for the next town at the end of the week so they need to decide if one of them has to leave their current life or that they just can’t be together.

[pzyii]

been thinking about the Pjo au lately, so this the the result

[huntingrays]

so i saw a tiktok asking what olympic sports the seven would participate in

many made sense like percy with swimming or surfing, frank with archery, hazel with an equestrian sport, etc

it made me think of leo. he’s kind of a hard one to place since he’s mainly good at building/inventing things which aren’t very sporty activities. i remember seeing fanart of him playing table tennis which makes sense and seems very in character for him

but yknow what i think would be funny?

winter olympian leo

the thought of texas raised guy with fire powers participating in a winter olympic sport is so funny to me. and you know he would do it purely for the irony too

[froggychair05]

Hello to all lovers of silly cubes and baking 🫶

[tomdarsh]

RM call girl in da housee

more fanart </3

@boxwinebaddie for you

[mqfx]

maybe if i write it down asap i can forget about it and then a year or two from now i'll be surprised while going down my archives. anyway

premise summary: the last two factions of a continent at war are at a stalemate and are planning peace negotiations. the emperor (JW) sends his envoy, a fallen prince from one of the defeated kingdoms (XL) to treat with the enemy rebels (led by HC). each party brings their head generals, FX (from XL's side) and MQ (from HC's side) as a show of trust and commitment to the negotiations.

as talks begin, it's clear that the envoy and the rebel leader are quickly becoming more than tentative allies--which would be great for the peace of the continent! if it weren't for their generals nearly sabotaging every chance due to their clear and volatile hatred for each other caused by years of fighting on the battlefield.

but what will they do when they each find out the truth: that both sides are using the talks as a cover for their plans to betray and annihilate the other? can they put aside their differences for the sake of their masters and their kingdoms, or will they plunge the continent further into war?

[alectoperdita]

jounouchi, honda and otogi still puppy pile on the bed even though they are adults so kaiba comes home sometimes like 😐. where tf am i supposed to sleep.

Haha, Kaiba's fault for owning a bed large enough to fit a small family.

Jou tells him to stop being "stingy" and tries to pull him into the pile.

[uhohproblems]

"Disappointing,” White Knight said, and Biowulf flinched full-body. White Knight tsked disapprovingly, but he tipped his head, half inviting. “Soldiers who show that sort of initiative would get rewarded.”

After the infiltration into the Consortium's mountain base, Biowulf obsesses. White Knight deals with it.

(NSFW!!)

[spacerockband]

Calamity Unwritten Part 8 - Zelda's training

[vessels-for-good-intent]

hmm… yea, the first time gatsby got really drunk in front of nick there would be a lot of rambling over how pretty nick is

and nick is blushing all over and is just like “thank you for the compliments but you need to sleep”

[yolowritter]

Volpibug Au Part 4: Mom help, there's a fox girl on my floor!

Hello there everyone, and welcome back to Lilanette Hell! Finally, after three rants longer than my entire attention span, I've returned with the good shit! Also yes, I cackled at the title. You'll see, it makes sense later. Part 3 of the Au is right here for anyone who needs a reminder, and today's rant focuses on the Glaciator episode and the immediate aftermath! This is where the Lilanette really begins! Also, this post is going to be really long, because I've got two whole snippets for you guys!

To give a bit more context, the Au currently has a pretty linear timeline. Begins with Volpina because obviously that's when Lila shows up for the first time, continues into Collector where Lila decides that Adrien is the least annoying person in class and she will get him back, hence teaming up with Marinette to go confront Gabriel about it. Yes, she gleefully reminds Monsieur Mothballs that CPS exists and is only one phone call away. Then the show moves on as normal, with Lila happily staying out of everyone's business and just kinda figuring out how friendships are supposed to work.

Add a few flashbacks to her altered backstory, maybe some nice Trixx pov to sweeten the deal, and suddenly we're at the Sapotis episode! As I mentioned in Part 2, Lila doesn't like Chloe, so she and Marinette kinda put their differences aside for the sake of Adrien having more friends and keeping the Queen B in check. Still, Lila does not like Marinette at this point. She thinks that while having moments of brilliance, the bluenette is erratic, overly emotional and also kinda creepy with her stalking of Adrien. This isn't bashing, just Lila being a bit too blunt. Anyway, they aren't clawing each other's eyes out and that's what matters. Cue Alya inviting them both to sleepover, the Sapotis incident, and then the rest of Part 2 where Volpina (with her fake civilian name starting with "Cer-" as a nod to Cerise) joins the hero team. If you need a reminder, don't worry I'll rant about it again sometime soon. Lila comes and goes during Akuma fights, occasionally showing up to laugh at Chat Noir when he gets yeeted halfway across the cityscape, and usually just sniding at that day's Akuma. She needs to get it out of her system to be able to hold her tongue in school, so it's a good outlet!

But anyway, one day the Glaciator Incident happens, mostly like normal. Lila gets invited to go out with the rest of the group, and actually does her whole innocent act to basically force Marinette to show up...but Adrien doesn't. Lila is less than pleased with this decision, because if you remember she told Marinette off for memorizing Adrien's wiki page and kinda stalking him instead of...oh, talking to the guy! It annoys her a bit too much, so she endeavors to put an end to this crap by making it so Marinette has to interact with Adrien in the context of friendship, and hopefully figures out that stealing phones is Lila's thing, and no, she doesn't allow copycats! Evidently...Marinette ends up having the same interaction with Andre, causing him to be upset, but Lila steps in to save the day by exclaiming that his ice cream is awesome and she really wants to try! Akuma averted...or not, because once she thinks she's out of earshot, Lila mutters about how a grown adult shouldn't get so hung up on teenagers' love lives + a whole bunch of "doesn't he have anything better to do?" Again, not bashing anyone, just Lila being Lila. Cue Glaciator, canon edition!

Volpina does show up for the fight and distracts him while Ladybug and Chat have their little "faking feelings is wrong!" argument, but Lila quickly gets tired of their shit and urges Adrien to just get it over with! Then, she hides behind a chimney to keep watch and they defeat the villain. As Volpina makes her way back down, Ladybug and Chat have a little conversation where he asks her to at least let him talk to her, and then they leave Lila behind to have the rooftop scene with the rose. As Ladybug leaves, Volpina jumps over (yes, she obviously spied on them, she does this a lot) to talk with Chat Noir.

Now...Lila does not do feelings of any kind. Empathy isn't in her dictonary, even if she is slowly learning how to practice it despite that. And here...she actually does have one of those mature moments. Lila's been forced to grow up too quick after her grandma's death with only Trixx for company (see part 1 here for the backstory), so that sobered her up a bit. Half the reason she treats everyone like an idiot is because they're all incredibly immature in her eyes. Anyway, she sits on the railing and Chat exclaims he's not in the mood for jokes tonight. Alarm bells start ringing in Lila's head, because she actually really vibes with their team's other pun enthusiast. She wouldn't call him a friend, but who else can help her drive Ladybug insane if not for the mangy stay? So she decides to talk to him about it, and we get the following snippet! Bet you weren't expecting that!

[...]

Volpina raises her hands in a surrender, giving Chat a toothy grin that shows her fangs. Her tail swishes around the metal railing, but after his frown doesn't go away, she clears her throat and scoots over to him. "Listen...I really don't do feelings. And I'm going to regret this...but do you want to talk about it?" she asks, trying to smooth her voice into something soft instead of the usual teasing tone.

The blonde's surprise is only betrayed by the sudden twitch of his ears, and Lila lazily stretches her arm to at least keep up the pretense of not caring. Give the boy an out if he doesn't want to share, and hope it all works out. Instead, Chat levels her with a suspicious stare. "Why do you even care? Sure, you're on our side..." he makes a wild gesture with his arms, as if physically grasping for the right words.

Lila cuts him off by snapping her claws together, meeting his eyes. "Because if you and the watermelon don't get your shit together, that's more work for me. And I've already fought enough of his kids' cartoon rejects as it is." she tells him in a rare moment of honesty. Not that Volpina doesn't care, it's just that the list of people she's willing to fight over currently extends to maybe five or six, and begrudgingly at that.

Chat's face falls, as if he'd half expected it. For a moment he almost looks like he's going to try and scold her...but he only gives a deep sigh. "It's complicated. I don't expect you to understand." the blonde mutters, ears drooping like someone's doused him with ice-cold water.

"It's either me or your Kwami. Take your pick, I won't sit here all night." Volpina argues in a dismissive tone. When Chat looks away from her, Lila thinks she maybe should have picked her words more carefully. Resisting the urge to leave him be, Volpina reaches out to gently grasp his shoulder with her claws. She levels him a serious look, to say she means it. "Just...start talking, would you?" Lila prods him, and Chat's eyes glint with poorly-disguised surprise. What an idiot...it's not like she'd actually grown attached. That would just be ridiculous.

Nevertheless, he tells her everything. How he'd invited Ladybug on a date and carefully prepared everything in advance, even if she told him it was a maybe. Well, that was much more headway than he'd ever made, so Chat Noir still went on with trying to make the perfect spot. But...she hadn't shown up. Dissapointed, he'd headed over to Marinette, having seen the bluentte on her balcony. Lila carefully files away their prior friendship, as well as the fact that she might have judged the girl a bit too quickly. If one of Paris' heroes has taken such an interest to her...could there be a side to her beyond the exasparating annoyance she's been friends with for so long? Chat goes on to describe the impromtu date between them, and then the conversation with Ladybug that Volpina definately hadn't listened in on. Spying on her teammates during a momet of emotional vulnerability? Her? Never!

Still, a certain detail does stick out to her, but she politely waits until the blonde is done moping. "You...do know she told you there were other plans for tonight, right?" Volpina asks, leaning her face towards him to look into Chat Noir's eyes. Her catty green peers through a dissapointed emerald, and he gives a nod. "Okay...I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but you know that Ladybug wasn't obligated to show up just because you expected her to, right? Everyone is allowed to say no." Lila tells him, trying to keep her tone from turning to an accusation. She'd never gotten the impression that Chat believed himself entitled to the other girl's affections, but it didn't hurt to make sure.

Silence slowly envelops them as he mulls her words over, as if struggling to understand the concept. She straightens up, arching her back across the railing for a stretch as Chat falls deep in thought. "We...we can say no?" he asks dumbly, almost as if he hadn't heard her. Oh. Oh...shit. She knew that innocent gaze from a mile away, having spent so much time glued to Adrien's side. Lila's heart sings with pity, and she takes a deep breath.

"Yes, of course we can." Volpina insists, grabbing onto his shoulder for emphasis. She clicks her claws together, hopping off the railing and standing next to Chat Noir. "Listen to me. Other people's desires only matter if you decide they do. And it goes both ways. Ladybug wasn't obligated to show up today, and you aren't forced to go on patrol if you don't feel like it." Lila tells him seriously, looking the blonde in the eye.

Then, as abruptly as the advice came, she steps back and promptly twirls herself around, playfully hitting his arm with her tail. Chat doesn't say a word, and Volpina takes a cursory glance at the sky. "I gotta run. Try not to get caught out in the rain, would you?" she snips at him before climbing on the railing. Before he's even gathered his bearings, she's disappeared over the skyline, with only the familiar high-pitched titter grazing his ears. Chat Noir unhooks his baton, and quickly jumps away into the night.

[...]

And scene! I figured this specific conversation was important, because Lila's advice really resonates with Adrien here. Also, I'll take any excuse to have Volpina on screen, but it's mostly for the plot. I'm trying to prevent Ladynoir without any fights, so Lila has her work cut out for her if she wants to accidentally rizz up Marinette. Believe me, if you thought the Agrestes were oblivious, they've got nothing on the fox girl who subconsiously doesn't think there's anything about her to love. Never to a point of self-hate, Lila is fairly comfortable with who she is as a person, but just...hasn't ever recieved affection aside from her grandmother. Sure, she's dated a few boys before, but that was only because she was using them for one reason or the other, and the "relationships" lasted only barely a month each, being more uninteresting than the one before. So...you can guess why Lila has never considered it after coming to Paris.

Also, just to be perfectly clear, despite Volpina and Chat Noir having their moments together and even a psuedo-date later on, things are strictly platonic here. Lila doesn't like him that way, and Adrien sees her as the cool friend who's teaching him what freedom actually looks like. His eyes are squarely on Ladybug, and later on Kagami. And after that, Luka. But that's for way later in the timeline. Feel free to ask about it though, I'm happy to yap some more about this Au's Lukadrien! Anyway! Lila is very much gay for Marinette, and Volpina does end up as Ladybug's bi awakening...so there's that! Alright, back to the plot!

The next morning passes by quickly, and Lila decides to join the nightly patrol with Ladybug and Chat, which she almost never does aside from when Volpina is in a mood to jumpspace their brave leader. She does it constantly, and Ladybug can never manage to find her before Lila suddenly appears behind her to say hello. This time however, she decides to spy on them again as they have a conversation, and Chat apologizes to Ladybug, explaining that he got his hopes up and it wasn't her fault. She then says it's okay, they hug, happy ending! But that's not what Lila is here for at all! See, Chat's words about Marinette have been stuck in her head all day now. In fact, Lila even tried being nice to the bluenette at school today (severely weirding her out) just to see if there's a difference to how she acts with her actual friends.

The results were...inconclusive, so she's come up another brilliant plan! After making sure this whole feelings crap was done with, she would just...show up at Marinette's house. As Volpina. Without any prior warning. And then promptly proclaim their friendship! That seems like a great idea! With only the best of intentions! What could possibly go wrong? ...as it turns out, absolutely everything.

Unfortunately this post is getting a bit too long, so I'll save the snippet for next time. I am writing these on the spot you know, it ain't easy. Hopefully a good way to get rid of Writer's Block, but still a challenge. Anyway, I do hope you all enjoed today's rant! Wasn't as unhinged as when I talk about canon, but then again my Aus have a lot less to complain about and a lot more to enjoy! If any of you want to talk about Volpibug feel free to shoot me an ask, I'm more than happy to tell you everything you want to know!

Anyway, I'll see you all next time, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!