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alexia11luvr · 1 year ago

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I Put My Hand On A Star, To See If I Still Bleed

Alexia isn't playing well after returning from her injury and needs to feel something.

(AU where Arsenal and Barça are in the same group in the 2023/24 UWCL)

CW: smut, sub!alexia because there isn't enough of it in this world, strap-on, lil bit of blood

Back during the 2021/2022 season, you and Alexia would hook up all the time. She barely spoke English and you barely spoke Spanish, but during an Arsenal V Barça game, you both felt an attraction for the first time, a connection, and that connection turned into a hook up at a hotel after the game. This happened again after the teams' next meeting, and after that, whenever you were in Spain or she was in England for whatever reason, you two would meet up and hook up at some hotel, always in secret. This was never spoken about between the two of you, whenever you were at award shows, you'd see eachother, perhaps make casual conversation with as much of the other's language as you could, but almost always in the company of other players.

It'd been over a year since the two of you had hooked up, you'd seen eachother at the Euros, but her injury kept you two from doing you usual thing, and there was far too much going on at the World Cup for you two to do it either.

The next time you saw eachother was in a Champions League group stage match in Barcelona. She looked different, her hair was platinum blonde, she looked older, more mature, and the innocence that was in her eyes before was gone. It worried you a little, it made you sad to see her like that, clearly in emotional pain, but there was something about it that attracted you to her- that loss of innocence. She had always been older than you, a good ten years older than you, but you never really noticed it until now, her maturity was showing and you liked it. Everything about the way she looked had lost its innocence, had changed since you last saw her. You didn't know exactly why you liked it so much, why it turned you on so much, but it did.

She scored in the second half after a string of missed shots. It wasn't a brilliant goal, but it was a goal all the same. You watched her as she celebrated, no smile crossed her face like it used to, and as she turned away from the crowd you saw a look of deep contemplation in her eyes as she looked down-

She knew she wasn't in form, not that she could expect to be so soon, but it was still hurting her. She wanted a better goal, several goals. A better game.

Katie scored a few minutes later, bringing the scoreline level, until Aitana scored in the 68th minute, and the match ended like that, Barça 2-1 Arsenal.

You shook hands and hugged after the match, you asked her if she was okay, you hadn't seen her smile the entire time, not even after the final whistle. She hesitated before nodding, and then leaned in closer to you before whispering "What hotel are you in?"

You told her the name of your hotel, as well your room number, letting her know you could do it there. You were lucky that you were rooming alone on this trip, last time you'd had to fuck Alexia in another hotel a few miles away from the team's, and you barely made it back in time before they noticed you were gone.

"No roommate?" she asked.

"No, we have the room to ourselves, the whole night."

"Ten O'Clock." she said.

"I'll see you then."

She ran her hand across your waist as she walked away, the first touch of affection you'd gotten from her in a long time, and you needed it. You missed that feeling more than anything, it was like a drug- the strongest drug you'd ever had.

Ten O'Clock couldn't come soon enough. There was still half an hour to go. You were talking with the girls in Leah's room, and you couldn't stop glancing at your watch, lamenting how slowly the hands were moving.

"Why do you keep checking your watch?" Katie asked.

You looked up, like a deer caught in headlights.

"Um, I dunno," you were panicking, "I think it's broken, the hands aren't moving right, I'm gonna go get my digital one."

This was a lie of course, there was nothing wrong with your watch, but you did need to get out of the room for a moment and make sure everything was ready in yours.

You opened the door to find Alexia on the bed, who sat up quickly as the door opened.

"What are you doing here? It's not ten yet."

Alexia didn't say anything, instead she quickly lifted herself off the bed and walked towards you pulling you in for a kiss, her hands grabbing your shirt just below the collar. The kiss was eager and breathy, passionate, and it became clear to you why she was early. You pulled her body in closer, with your hands on the back of her waist. Her lips moved to your neck, making you lose your breath for a moment, her movements still eager and passionate. You toyed with the hem of her shirt, subtly asking for permission, before she took it off herself, tossing it aside. She quickly unbuttoned yours and pulled it off you by running her hands over your shoulders and underneath the fabric, admiring how muscular you were, more so than the last time you'd met. She wasn't the only one who looked more mature.

A slight pause in her movements led you to pick her up and place her on the desk at the side of the room, your hands roamed her thighs as you stood in-between them, and you began to tug at the fabric that was still covering them as you kissed her. As you did, her arms left the position of being wrapped around your neck and travelled down your torso, one landing on your waist and the other over your crotch. Her breath hitched and she pulled away from the kiss as she felt the bulge of what you were packing. It was big, bigger than anything she'd taken before, and she liked that, she needed that. Her eyes darkened sensually, and she gripped it tighter, causing a wave of pleasure to move through you. You backed away from the desk pulling her off of it so she could remove her trousers as you undid your belt and removed yours. She sat herself back on the desk and pulled you in towards her lips. You kissed down her neck and her chest, moving her to lean back slightly as you dipped a finger into her core- she was more than wet enough, it was beginning to coat the insides of her thighs so you knew she needed to be fucked more than anything.

"You ready?" you asked, your voice low.

"Yes." she said, breathlessly, needily. You loved when she spoke English, her strong accent made it so sensual.

You kissed her softly once more before looking down, you held her by the hips and slowly put your cock in her and she groaned at the pain as she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you right into her body. Her whimpers and moans turned you on more than anything, you loved how she sounded when you fucked her. The raw skin on skin contact felt incredible, you loved feeling this close to her, you needed it. With you inside her and her legs wrapped around your waist, you picked her up again and placed her down gently on the bed. You sped up and her whimpers turned into whines, echoing around the room. She bit her lip to try and stop herself, but it didn't help. You slowed down and increased the pressure and depth of your thrusts, which turned her whines into loud, open-mouthed moans. You kissed up her neck and her cheek as you fucked into her, knowing that she would appreciate the intimacy now, given what you were about to do.

You knew how she liked to be fucked, and how she wanted to be fucked, even if she hadn't said it, that was part of your connection, you just knew.

You pulled out of her slowly and whispered in her ear, "Turn over."

She did as she was told, turning over to lay on her stomach. You admired the view infront of you, her muscular back, her thighs, and the best ass you'd ever seen.

You slipped it back in her again, and she moaned, gripping the bedsheets as she did, her hands above her head.

You lowered yourself onto her back, getting that raw skin on skin contact as you rubbed together that you both loved so much.

The friction on her back made her seek friction on her front, desperate for some pressure on her clit, making her moans and whimpers grow louder with overstimulation.

"Shh sh sh." you whispered, stroking her hip, remembering that the other girls were in the room next door.

She quietened slightly, biting the bed sheets.

"That's it, you can take it, you're doing really well." You praised, and she really did deserve it.

"Get up on you knees for me." you said.

She always did as she was told when you had her like this.

She got up on her knees quickly, her back arching and her arms out infront of her, grasping the bed sheets.

"I'm sorry princesa, this is really going to hurt."

You took your cock out, noticing how it was glistening, covered in her arousal, and you slipped it in her ass. She was much tighter there, and you could feel it as you fucked into her. She cried out in both pain and pleasure, and she quickly propped herself up from her elbows onto her hands, unsure how to deal with the intensity of it all. Even between gasps and moans, her mouth remained open.

"You're okay, I've got you." you said, holding onto her hips and rubbing gently with your thumb.

She whimpered, nodding slightly, then dropping her head.

"Good girl."

You kissed up her spine and placed gentle, soft kisses on her hips. Her breathing was shaky and tears began to run down her cheeks, but she didn't want you to stop, not for one second. She hadn't felt this much in months, and she needed it.

You sped up, seeing her body rock back and forth, under your complete and total control, was beautiful. She was beginning to bleed, but she showed no signs of wanting to stop, and you found beauty in that too.

Blood and arousal were dripping onto the bedsheets, not that you cared, all that you cared about was pleasuring Alexia. Seeing her cry from pain and ecstasy was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen, she'd moved back to holding herself up on her elbows and had her hands clasped together, trying to cope with the pain and overstimulation. After a few minutes, you could tell she was getting used to that pain, as her whines and whimpers turned into moans.

You decided it was time to add to her pleasure by placing two fingers into her core. She gasped at their sudden presence, but she was soaked from the inside out and her dripping cunt welcomed you without any resistance.

She moaned in pure ecstasy at your movements inside her, as you were stroking gently with a steady pace matching the one you were fucking her ass with.

Her reactions were becoming more erratic and you knew she was close. She moved her arm from it's position of support and held onto your wrist and hand, pushing you further inside her slightly and giving her more pressure on her clit, as she let her forehead fall to the bed. She was purely in pursuit of pleasure. She looked so gorgeous this way, totally at the mercy of her own body.

You leant down onto her back again.

"You ready to come for me princesa?" you said, pressing open mouth kisses against her back, dragging your teeth across her skin, leaving red marks.

"Ye- yes, please." she said, breathlessly

"Such a good girl, aren't you Ale?" you said, smiling. The question was rhetorical, and she knew that, she knew it was just to remind her of what made her a good girl- being fucked bloody and teary-eyed, crying in pleasure on her knees, desperately holding your hand inside her with your palm against her clit.

She moaned one last time, her jaw slack, eyes closed, head thrown back then dropped forward as her back arched and her legs shook. You slapped her ass hard as she came, adding to her waves of pleasure as you came a moment later. Both yours and Alexia's movements continued through her orgasm as you let her ride it out.

"Look at you, you did so well." you smiled, you were so proud of her, she'd never taken it like that before.

You pulled out of her and discarded the strap, tossing it onto the chair.

She turned around to face you, sitting on the bed with you kneeling in front of her. She wiped tears from her eyes and noticed the bed sheets.

"Did I bleed?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"Yeah, you did." you replied, helping her wipe the tears away.

She was still shaking so you pulled her close to you, her head resting on your chest, and you began stroking her hair as she closed her eyes and a final few tears fell gently down her face.

You helped her off the bed as she winced and whimpered from the pain of moving.

"It's okay," you reassured her "it'll hurt less tomorrow."

She held onto you tightly as you helped her move. You pulled back the duvet and helped her lay down slowly. Her breathing was heavy and her whimpers didn't stop. You loved seeing her like this. You got into the bed yourself and pulled the duvet up to cover the pair of you. As soon as you did, she rolled over, seeking contact and comfort from you. She placed a long soft kiss on your lips before laying her head on your chest and placing her hand beside her face, her palm on your skin, right over your heart. She kept her legs closed, it being too painful to open them, and you placed one hand on her back, stroking up and down slowly, and letting the other just rest on her waist. You were both exhausted, and you fell asleep quickly after that.

You were awoken the next morning by the sound of the girls talking next door. You checked the time, it was half past ten, you'd slept for nearly twelve hours. It was then that Katie and Leah suddenly walked into your room, you quickly pulled the duvet over Alexia's head- it was still obvious that you had a woman in bed with you, but at least they wouldn't know who it was, or so you had thought until you remembered there was a jacket with a Barcelona logo on it slung over the chair, which you saw Leah notice as Katie was looking at you.

"So this is why you didn't come back to Leah's room last night- I shoulda known." Katie laughed.

"C'mon Katie, let's leave them be." Leah smiled. Always the more mature out of the pair.

You pulled the duvet back down, revealing Alexia's face, you ran a hand through her platinum blonde hair, and smiled.

#woso #woso fanfics #woso community #womens football #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso smut #woso imagine #woso x reader

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mariacallous · 1 year ago

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Updated vaccines against Covid-19 are coming, just as hospitalizations and deaths due to the virus are steadily ticking up again.

Today, the US Food and Drug Administration authorized new mRNA booster shots from Moderna and Pfizer, and a panel of outside experts that advises the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention voted to recommend the shots to everyone in the United States ages 6 months and older. Once Centers for Disease Control and Prevention director Mandy Cohen signs off on the recommendations and the vaccines are shipped, people can start getting the boosters.

The recommendation is projected to prevent about 400,000 hospitalizations and 40,000 deaths over the next two years, according to data presented at the meeting by CDC epidemiologist Megan Wallace.

This year’s mRNA vaccines are different from the 2022 booster in a key way. Last year’s shot was a bivalent vaccine, meaning it covered two variants: the original one that emerged in China in 2019, plus the Omicron subvariant BA.5, which was circulating during much of 2022. This fall’s booster drops the original variant, which is no longer circulating and is unlikely to return. It targets just the Omicron subvariant XBB.1.5, which was dominant throughout much of 2023.

Pfizer and Moderna’s vaccines work by introducing a tiny piece of genetic material called messenger RNA, or mRNA, that carries instructions for making SARS-CoV-2’s characteristic spike protein. Once it is injected, cells in the body use those instructions to temporarily make the spike protein. The immune system recognizes the protein as foreign and generates antibodies against it. Those antibodies stick around so that if they encounter that foreign invader again, they will mount a response against it.

Since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, the virus has acquired new mutations in its spike protein and elsewhere. These mutations result in new variants and subvariants that diverge from the original virus. When enough mutations accumulate, these new versions can more easily evade the antibodies created by previous vaccine doses or infections.

The constantly evolving nature of the virus is the reason health regulators decided last year to update the original mRNA vaccines, which were designed against the version of the virus that first appeared in 2019. This year, once again, the virus has changed enough to warrant an updated booster.

In June, an advisory committee to the FDA recommended that this fall’s booster be a monovalent vaccine—targeting only the then-dominant XBB.1.5 subvariant.

At that meeting, committee members reviewed evidence suggesting that the inclusion of the original variant may hamper the booster’s effectiveness against newer offshoots. “The previous bivalent vaccine contained the ancestral spike and thus skewed immune responses to the old spike,” says David Ho, a professor of microbiology at Columbia University whose research, which is not yet peer-reviewed, was among the evidence the FDA panel reviewed. “This is what we call immunological imprinting, and it results in lack of immune responses to the new spike.” He thinks taking out the old variant should optimize the immune response.

But over the past few months, even newer Omicron offshoots have arrived. Currently, EG.5.1, or Eris, is the dominant one in the United States, United Kingdom, and China. Meanwhile, a variant called BA.2.86, or Pirola, has been detected in several countries. Pirola has raised alarm bells because it has more than 30 new mutations compared to XBB.1.5.

Even though the new boosters were formulated against XBB.1.5, they’re still expected to provide protection against these new variants. “The reason is, while antibodies are important in protection against mild disease, the critical part of the immune response that’s important for protecting against severe disease is T cells,” says Paul Offit, a professor of vaccinology at the University of Pennsylvania and member of the FDA’s vaccine advisory committee.

These cells are a different part of the immune response. Unlike antibodies, which neutralize a pathogen by preventing it from infecting cells, T cells work by eliminating the cells that have already been invaded and boosting creation of more antibodies. Both the Moderna and Pfizer-BioNTech Covid vaccines produce long-lasting T cells in addition to antibodies.

It’s why, Offit says, when the Omicron wave hit in late 2021 and peaked in January 2022, the US didn’t see a dramatic increase in hospitalizations and deaths even as cases rose significantly: People’s T cells kicked into gear, even when their antibodies didn’t recognize the Omicron variant.

“In some ways,” says Offit, when it comes to vaccine booster development, “it almost doesn’t matter what we pick to target” because the coronavirus has yet to evolve away from T cell recognition. “Everything works.”

Scientists think T cells are able to protect against severe Covid because they’re recognizing parts of the virus that have remained unchanged throughout the pandemic. “I suspect that as we continue to vaccinate, there are some conserved regions [of the virus],” says Jacqueline Miller, Moderna’s head of infectious diseases. “So even with the accumulation of mutations, we’re still building on previous immunity.”

People who have hybrid immunity—that is, have had a Covid infection and have also been vaccinated—seem to have the best immune responses to new variants, she says, which suggests that previous exposure shapes and improves immune responses to new variants. Preliminary studies show that antibodies generated by previous infections and vaccinations should be capable of neutralizing Pirola.

Earlier this month, Moderna issued a press release saying that clinical trial data showed that its updated booster generated a strong immune response against Pirola, as well as the more prevalent Eris variant.

In a statement to WIRED, Pfizer spokesperson Jerica Pitts said the company continues to closely monitor emerging variants and conduct tests of its updated monovalent booster against them. Data presented at Tuesday’s CDC meeting showed that Pfizer-BioNTech’s updated booster elicited a strong neutralizing antibody response against both Eris and Pirola.

The FDA expects that Covid-19 vaccines will continue to be updated on an annual basis, unless a completely new variant emerges that requires a different approach. “We will always be a little behind the virus,” says Ho. “In this instance, we won’t suffer too much, but that might not be the case going forward. Surveillance is imperative.”

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thef1diary · 7 months ago

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Congrats on 3k!! Could you possibly do "Have I told you I love you today?" "Yes, but please say it again." and VCARB Danny? Smothering him with affection and cuddles to keep him happy after some ups and downs these past few months 🥹

Reassurance | D. Ricciardo

a/n: this one was a bit painful to write. I received another request with the same prompt but with mclaren!daniel: happy 3k!! i wanted to request '"Have I told you I love you today?" "Yes, but please say it again."' and mclaren!daniel 🥹 the neediness for validation and cuddles.. thank u 🫶 & this request too that fit perfectly: I didn't find anything fitting on the list for Daniel, but I have been thinking about him being insecure about getting a seat next year and just reassuring him that he won't be alone, no matter what happens.

prompt: "Have I told you I love you today?" "Yes, but please say it again."

wc: 1.1k

warnings: very brief mention of ed, mclaren!daniel (yes that’s a warning because of the horrors we went through)

masterlist 3k celebration

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2022

You watch as Daniel returns home from yet another simulator session, his shoulders slumped in a way that makes your heart ache. He's been trying so hard, pushing himself to the brink, but it seems like nothing is going right for him at McLaren. The once bright spark in his eyes have dimmed, replaced by a weariness you haven't seen before. A part of you wonders if it'll ever return—no, you hope it will, it has to. After all, his happiness was a part of him, and as the months went by, you could see that he was losing that part of himself.

The late nights, the early mornings, the gruelling workouts—he's given everything he had, but the results were still disappointing. You've noticed the subtle changes, the unhealthy habits creeping in as he tries to cope with the mounting pressure. The missed meals, claiming he wasn't hungry even though he cooked with you. The dark circles under his eyes from the nights he laid awake, tossing and turning beside you until he decided to leave the room so he doesn't disturb you. He's burning out, overworking himself, and you're worried for him, scared even.

As he stands in the kitchen, holding a glass of iced water, staring blankly at the wall, you step up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. He tenses at first, but then you feel him relax into your embrace, his free hand coming up to cover yours.

"Hey," you whispered, you voice soft and full of love. "Have I told you I love you today?"

For a moment, it's silent. You can feel the rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his body against yours. Placing the glass on the countertop, he turns in your arms, his eyes meeting yours. The exhaustion is evident, but there's a flicker of something else there too—something that makes your heart break.

"Yes," he murmurs, his voice barely audible. "But please, say it again."

Your throat tightens with emotion, and you reach up to cup his face in your hands. "I love you, Daniel. So much."

He closes his eyes, leaning into your touch, and for the first time in what feels like forever, he surrenders. His arms wrap around you, holding you close in fear that if he lets you go, you'll walk away from him too. You feel the tension slowly ebbing away from his body as you run your hand up and down his back.

You guide him to the couch, pulling him down with you, and he lets himself fall into your embrace. You hold him tightly, your fingers running through his hair, whispering words of love and reassurance. He clings to you like a lifeline, his breath coming in shaky gasps as he lets himself break down.

"It's okay," you whisper, kissing his forehead. "I'm here, I've got you."

He buries his face in your neck, his arms still wrapped around you, afraid to let go. For a long time, you hold him, letting him spill out all his thoughts—the negativity he's been keeping to himself, the self-doubt—even though you disagree with his harsh criticism of himself, you listen. You feel the weight of the world slowly lifting off his shoulders, replaced by a fragile hope. You know it'll take time for his confidence to fully return, but you also know that sometimes, a little bit of hope and a lot of love can make all the difference.

2024

After rejoining the RedBull family nearly a year ago, Daniel felt a sense of familiarity, a feeling of being home again. But despite the warm welcome and the support of the team, the inconsistent results start to gnaw at him. He has good races and bad ones, which cause the doubts to creep back in, whispering that maybe he's not good enough anymore.

One evening, after a particularly tough race, you find him in the living room, staring blankly at the wall. His shoulders are slumped, and the light in his eyes is dimmer than it should be, reminding you of a time that sent shivers down your spine. You walk over and sit beside him, your heart aching for him.

"Hey," you say softly, reaching out to take his hand. "Have I told you I love you today?"

He looks at you, and for a moment, you see the pain and doubt reflected in his eyes. The words bring back memories of that night in your arms, and it shatters your heart to see him struggling again.

"Yes," he whispers, his voice filled with vulnerability. "But please, say it again."

Your eyes fill with tears, but you blink them away, determined to be strong for him. You lean in, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close. "I love you, Daniel. I love you so much."

He buries his face in your neck once more, his grip on you tightening. "I'm so scared," he admits, his voice trembling. "What if I don't get a seat next year? What if these ups and downs mean I'm not good enough?"

He pulls back, a look of horror crossing his face as he struggles to string sentences together to express his thoughts. "The team, they believed in me. What if I let them down?"

You shake your head, pressing a finger to his lips to stop him from speaking another word. "You are more than enough," you state firmly. "You belong here. The team still believes in you, and so do I."

He opens his mouth to speak, but you don't let him. "It's okay to have doubts, but don't let them consume you. As for your seat, there are still plenty of races left to show your worth. You deserve it."

He nods, his breath warm against your skin. "I just don't want to let anyone down," he murmured.

"You won't," you assure him. "You're an amazing driver, and you've come so far. Sometimes things don't go perfectly, but that doesn't mean you're not worthy. And no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you."

He sighs, the tension slowly leaving his body as he melts into your embrace. "Thank you," he whispers. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You don't have to worry about that," you say softly, kissing the top of his head. "I'm not going anywhere."

Wrapped in your arms, Daniel closes his eyes, allowing himself to let go of the anxieties that have plagued him for so long. You stay like that, cuddling and comforting him until he starts believing your words.

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#di celebrates #thef1diary fic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagines #f1 blurb #f1 fluff #daniel ricciardo blurb #daniel ricciardo fluff #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fanfic

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absolutebl · 10 months ago

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BLs with Strong Historical Elements

Costume dramas, historical BLs, and BLs with time travel or flashbacks to historical locations & times.

These are in order of my personal preference, best at the top.

I Feel You Linger in the Air

2023 Thailand

IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). It's about a gay man from our time who falls into the past, becomes a servant to a noble house, and falls in love with the heir. It turns out this has all happened several times before. Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but not as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy soulmates BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and as individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show could easily have earned a 10/10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls in the final quarter. Argh. Whatever.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding

2021 Korea - WeTV

A boy cross-dresses to take his runaway sister's place as a bride to a shy scholar, turns out they like being married. A historical setting allowed this BL to use some seriously old fashioned romance tropes (arranged marriage, evil step-sisters, Cinderfella) but also modern BL stylings like fake relationship & secret identity (drag) plus some cute gay panic. It reminded me of 12th Night more than anything else which just happens to be my favorite Shakespeare play. For all these reasons, I adored it.

(the ghat kiss!)

Tinted With You

2022 Korea - Viki

Fun stylish time travel meets portal fantasy with a likable cast, historical setting, and two actual kisses that mitigate the rough plot and issues around anachronisms.

Word of Honor

2021 China (censored) - Viki/YouTube?

I don’t rec Chinese stuff often, because I believe in censoring the censors, but this show is one of my favorites of the post 2016 censored bromances. It’s two murder-gay assassins (pining sunshine/tsundere), and they are so insanely gay for two boys who will never be allowed to kiss. Tropes include: wuxia, soulmates, paranormal, historical, and fantasy elements.

To Sir, With Love AKA Khun Chai

2022 Thailand - YouTube?

This is a true lakorn (basically Thai tellenovella or soap opera) with scenery chewing performances, especially from the mother characters. Gone With the Wind + Days of Our Lives but gay. That said? I loved it: A glorious central brother relationship (the best, made me cry), het romances, class divide + gay *gasp* main romance - oh my word, the campy drama of it all! Arranged marriage, rebellion, cut sleeves, over-the-top death with curses and regrets, beautiful if inaccurate costumes, secrets unraveling, cover ups, sparkle murder, sex herbs, coils within coils including snakes and murderous green metallic sequins (is anything gayer on this earth?). It’s a WILD ride but it does end happy for our gay boys. A man cries when he finds DEATH GLITTER. Come on! You haffa watch it. That said, like Manner of Death I struggle to rate something on a BL scale when it patently isn’t a BL. So I ended up giving this exactly what I gave that show, 7/10 I enjoyed it a whole lot, but not as a BL.

The Untamed (Special BL Edition)

2020 China (censored) - YouTube

Censored wuxia bromance, amorphous ending. Probubly the best known BL of its kind out of China and responsible for bring many fans to the BL side.

Our Skyy 2: Never Let Me Go

2023 Thailand - YouTube

I was nervous to watch this PondPhuwin vehicle but I liked it a lot! Doomed soulmates + paranormal time travel to fix the past. I’m happy for the outfits and the dancing (if not the singing). It’s not a bad premise and it’s nice to see GMMTV lean into its high production values for a change. I'd adore a full historical starring these two and this was definitely the best of the second series of Our Skyy. I don't think you have to have watched the original Never Let Me Go to enjoy this.

Legend of Long Yang: Rebirth

2017 China

Gaga

Whipping boy trope... literally, servant character takes the strap for the prince, who then makes him his bodyguard and lover when he becomes king. Low budget historical, comes off as kind of cosplay wuxia version of Irresistible Love, but we get (in the credits) an actual kiss, and they both live. So yay for small mercies.

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner

2023 Korea (historical flash backs)

iQIYI

A new employee at a film company encounters a director who claims to have lived 300 years and insists that they have to date (eat, hug & kiss) if baby doesn't want to die. It has a lot of Japanese elements, not the least of which are: an office setting, the fact that every character in this show is unhinged, and a killing of the gays. Featuring a gorgeous & stellar cast, TDWBMD should have utilized them less for melodrama and more for chemistry. This BL surprised me by going there with a lipstick mark AND an actually gay idol. But (you knew there was a but) while it's a unique twist on an office romance it is NOT a unique twist on the doomed red thread trope, resulting in it feeling less than the sum of its parts and ultimately unsatisfying. This might have also had to do with the fact that this was one of those KBLs where I felt how very short it was the whole time I was watching, like I was missing something constantly, in every episode. Worth watching for some but seriously flawed.

First Love Again

2022 Korea (historical flash backs) - Viki

A popular novelist who remembers his past lives meets his soulmate for the third time, only to find she has been reincarnated into the body of a man. This one started out a touch mean-spirited, but we eventually got a good kiss. The confession/rejection scene was justified and the reconciliation and ending was... fine. All in all, the pacing felt rushed and the romantic arc was underdeveloped. They go from like to love to boyfriends in a red hot minute. But that’s par for the course with Korea’s short form. If you don’t mind a heavy does of melodrama in your BL this one has a solid story with a strong concept that’s well acted and produced, making it a classic KBL with better than average chemistry but ultimately a touch forgettable.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush

2022 Korea

This show was all over the place with uneven acting, narrative, and focus (sometimes it wanted to be a slapstick comedy, sometimes a depressing melodrama) which meant no one, actors or viewers, took anyone or anything seriously.... AND it’s a bromance. I was left wondering if SalHyung is now code for “they were roommates” in Kdrama historicals but otherwise largely apathetic and unimpressed. Korea, I now know you can do better. Do better.

Mermaid's Jade

2019 China (censored-esk) - Gaga

Kills the gay.

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

2016 China - Gaga

Kills the gay. Schrodinger's BL, both a BL and entirely not one at the same time.

Diary of Heong Yeong Dang

2014 Korea

Kills the Gay

I was gonna do a top 10 list, but there aren't enough by my metrics, so many end sadly.

This post at the behest of @verymuchof thank you for the idea!

Dated April 2023, includes only BLs that had finished their run by that date. Not responsible for cool costume flix that come after that. But you should check the comments to see if any have been added by others!

I might have missed a few that only have time historical elements since I don't always track those.

Also I would like to point out a decided lack of Japan on this list. My ninja yaoi consuming tiny past self is VERY upset about this void.

WHERE ARE MY GAY NINJAS??!!!

(source)

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purplephantomwolf · 3 months ago

Text

Tethered Time

Logan Sargeant Soulmate AU

Chapter Two

Synopsis: Everyone has a timer on their wrist. It counts down the time until you hear your soulmates voice for the first time. After you hear their voice, it changes to the time until you meet them for the first time.

Note: This is not an accurate portrayal of how the real people in this act. I do not know them personally, so I will not be portraying them accurately.

Warnings for this chapter: None

Previous Chapters: Chapter One

Masterlist

I AM REWRITING THIS FROM AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER SO IF I MISSED ANYTHING I AM SORRY AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW. This is the last chapter as an OC rewrite.

December 25, 2022

10 months 4 days

“We have one last gift for you, Y/n,” your mom says, handing you an envelope. You grab it from her, tearing it open. You look inside and drop it in shock. Multiple paddock passes fall out of it.

“Oh my god! You didn’t!!” You shout, picking them up. You see passes for multiple races.

“Since Logan is in Formula 1 now, we got you two passes for every race in North America but Las Vegas. We figured this would be a Christmas, birthday, and college graduation present all wrapped into one,” my dad says.

“Thank you so much! This, this is amazing,” you grin. You launch yourself at your parents in a hug. They laugh and hug you back. You do a little happy dance, before grabbing the passes. You inspect them, grinning.

“We figured you’d take Tucker to at least one race,” your mom says.

“I will probably take him to every race, considering you guys don’t like watching it,” you shrug. Your parents nod. You set your passes down, grabbing your phone to call Tucker.

“Merry Christmas!” He greets you.

“How would you like to go to four Formula 1 races this year?” You ask, not bothering to greet him. The line goes silent. “Tucker?” You prompt him.

“Are you serious?” He shrieks in your ear. You pull your phone away from your ear, wincing.

“Yes, I’m serious. My parents got me two passes to almost every race in North America this year,” you tell him, grinning.

“Yes! YES! I would love to go!” He yells, causing you to pull your phone away from your ear again. “Where do we sit at each of them?!” He asks, excited.

“They’re paddock passes,” you explain. You pull your phone away again, knowing he’s about to yell again.

“HOLY SHIT, Y/N! TELL YOUR PARENTS I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH!” He screams. You turn to your parents, and they’re covering their laughter.

“We love you too, Tucker,” your mom calls out to him.

“I’ve got to go now, Y/n, but we will be discussing details of this later,” Tucker says.

“Sounds good. Merry Christmas, Tucker,” you say. He wishes you a merry Christmas before hanging up. You grab the passes to go put them somewhere safe.

You sprint down the stairs to thank your parents again. “Thank you again!” You hug them again.

“Of course, we want you to get every chance you can to meet Logan, so we thought this would be good,” your mom says. Your dad nods in agreement.

You smile at them before starting to mess around with the new camera lens they got you.

************************************************************************

May 5, 2022

5 months 24 days

“I can’t believe we’re actually in Miami to watch a Formula 1 race,” Tucker says, his head going every which way as we enter the paddock. Your head is also turning every which way, trying to see everything you can.

“I can’t believe it, too. Come on! Let’s go look at the hospitalities!” You grab his arm, dragging him towards where you can see the hospitalities. We spend the next 10 minutes looking into as many hospitality windows as possible. “This is so cool!” You laugh happily.

Tucker sees something and takes off. “Come on, Y/n!” He shouts over his shoulder. We’re in front of the Williams hospitality. You linger, not wanting to leave. You know that there’s still basically 6 months until you meet Logan, but you’re hopeful that you’ll still get a glimpse of him in person before then. “Y/n, let’s go! I want to get some Ferrari merch before it sells out!” Tucker calls out to me.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” You say, turning to follow him. You take off after him, not looking back at Williams hospitality. You catch up with him and head towards the area selling merch. “I want to grab some Williams merch,” You say, when you arrive. You split up in the store to go to the different team sections. You grab a Logan hat and a Williams jacket and head towards the check out. Tucker appears behind you, and you laugh when you see his arms loaded with Ferrari merch. “Got enough merch?” You snicker.

“No, I need you to hold these for me,” he says, a serious look on his face. Your jaw drops in shock, before he breaks out in laughter. “I’m kidding, this is everything,” he says. You nod and you check out.

After checking out, you head up to the paddock club. You take a seat just as FP1 starts.

************************************************************************

Logan’s POV

1 minutes 12 seconds

I glance at my wrist and then around the hospitality. My timer says there’s only a minute left until I hear my soulmate's voice, but everyone around me are people I’ve talked to before. The door at the entrance opens, and I look up hopeful. I sigh in disappointment when James Vowels walks through the door. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” I hear a female’s voice say as the door closes. In an instant, I’m out of my seat, pushing past a confused James. My wrist is burning, but I ignore it. I slam the door open and sprint out. My head is whipping in every direction, trying to find the source of the voice. My face falls when I can’t pinpoint who the owner of the voice is. I glance down at my wrist and my face falls even more when I see 5 months and 24 days.

I head back inside the hospitality. I spot James and Alex standing at the door, watching me. “What’s the matter?” James asks me.

“I heard my soulmate’s voice, but I won't meet her for another 5 months, 24 days, and some hours and minutes,” I sigh. I get looks of pity from both Alex and James. I just shake my head and head downstairs to the garage.

************************************************************************

Your POV

5 months 22 days

“Man, what a disappointing race for Logan. To finish last at your home race must hurt,” Tucker sighs, as you walk out of the paddock.

“Yeah, I hope he has a good support system of friends to cheer him up,” you nod in agreement.

“If only you two had met before, you’re really good at cheering people up,” Tucker says, bumping shoulders with you. You grin, thanking him.

************************************************************************

June 18, 2023

Canadian GP

4 months 11 days

“No!” You shout when you see Logan’s car pull over to the side of the track. You groan, my head dropping into my hands.

“His car was giving off a critical error, so it’s good that he stopped,” Tucker shouts over the crowd of the noise and cars. You nod, letting him know you heard him.

“Still sucks though,” you grumble, arms crossed. You sigh and turn your attention back to the race.

************************************************************************

October 22, 2023

COTA

7 days

“How do you feel knowing you’ve got one week until you meet Logan?” Tucker asks as you lay in your beds at the hotel.

“Nervous, but excited. What if he doesn’t like me?” You turn to look at him.

“He’ll like you, it’s hard not to,” Tucker scoffs. His phone vibrates and he grabs it.

You turn away from him to stare at the ceiling. “Thanks, but can we talk about how amazing he did today?! He finished P12!” You exclaim.

“P10,” Tucker says.

Your head whips toward him, with a confused look on your face. “No, he finished P12.”

“He may have finished P12, but he’s now P10 because Hamilton and Leclerc were just disqualified,” Tucker tells you, staring at his phone. He turns it towards you, and you read the article from Formula 1.

“OH MY GOD LOGAN JUST GOT HIS FIRST POINTS IN FORMULA 1!!!” You screech, flying out of bed. You do a little happy dance around the room. Tucker watches you, laughing. He holds his phone up, recording you. You stick your tongue out at him. “Yeah yeah, you can laugh. You’re just the same way when your boyfriend does something you’re proud of,” you wave your hand.

“I know,” Tucker grins, “This video is going to Carter.”

“Tell him hi for me,” you say, falling onto the bed.

“I will,” Tucker responds, typing away on his phone.

************************************************************************

Logan’s POV

7 days

“How do you feel about getting your first points?” Alex sits down across from me on the plane.

“Happy, excited,” I respond, grinning. I post the picture I took when learning that I earned points on Instagram. I subconsciously rub my fingers over the timer on my wrist. I notice Alex glancing at it.

“How much time is left?” He asks, leaning forward.

“7 days,” I breathe out.

His eyes widen, “Getting close then. Are you excited?”

“Very, I’ve been waiting for this for years. But I’m also extremely nervous. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she doesn’t like what I do?” I rhetorically ask.

“Well, considering you heard her voice while at the Miami GP, and you meet her during the Mexico GP, I’m going to go with she likes what you do,” he points out.

“Yeah, you’re right. But that still doesn’t mean she’ll like me,” I groan, burying my face in my hands.

“I doubt she’ll dislike you, you’re a likable guy,” Alex says, putting his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got this. It’ll be okay.”

“Thanks, Alex,” I sigh, looking up at him.

“Of course,” he nods, getting up to go sit with his girlfriend, Lily.

I close my eyes to sleep on the flight to Mexico.

Next Chapter: Chapter Three

#f1 story #f1 x reader #f1 imagines #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #logan sargeant x you #logan sargeant fanfic #logan sargeant imagine #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant x y/n #logan sargeant story #logan sargeant #logan sargeant imagines

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pearlywritings · 17 days ago

Text

We met again

synopsis: as centuries went by, you grew to care for each other, not caring however to label your relationship anything except for 'companions'. Your paths didn't always converge, yet no matter what somehow you always end up together.

pairing: Dainsleif x fem!reader

tw: somewhat hurt/comfort, situationship/companionship, reader is a survival from Khaenri'ah and with a curse like Dain, initially was written during the Chasm release, so some things can be a little wrong lore-wise

word count: 4.5k+ words

author’s note: it was supposed to be the first part of the ex-lady-in-waiting AU for Dainsleif, which I planned all the way back in 2022 when the Chasm was released, but never actually finished the draft until now. I won't promise anything more of it (even though there were ideas), since my interest in the man is almost non-existent now, but it was fun to finilly let this one out.

Dainsleif coughed again, hand flying to press to his chest. Damn, that energy outburst did have a toll on him, a pretty bad one. He barely managed to hop around the stone fragments floating around the ruins, making his way out of them. It was hard to walk, legs slowly dragging him away from the upside down structures.

If he was to throw away all that bravado and reserved appearance he had put up to reassure the twin and Paimon, he was not okay at all. It was difficult to focus, vision blurry at times, breaths took some effort to push in and out of his aching chest and the burning sensation remained, if not intensified. His body screamed to stay near that fountain, to get that very much needed rest and relief from the curse, but he couldn't allow himself to, at least not for long. He needed to push forward, even with the smallest amount of energy remaining. At least to leave the Chasm - those dark splotches of something were not doing anything good to his already exhausted organism.

As he was about to leave the cave - above which the ruins were placed - to roam the endless routes of Chasm until he found the exit, he spotted a very much familiar figure just at the beginning of one of those routes. Even with his eyes veiled in haze he could never mistake you with anyone else.

You, who always managed to find him, no matter where he was or how much time passed between your meetings. It was truly a miracle, or it might've been fate, as you two shared the homeland and were among the ones with consciousness still.

Back then, when Khaenri'ah was existent, before the calamity occurred, he hardly encountered you. Maybe a handful of times, when you escorted the princess to watch the Royal Guards train - she found it fascinating but wasn't allowed to visit much. You were one of her ladies-in-waiting, but since there was always a group of young women you easily mixed with them, and the Captain didn't really pay attention to the bunch of giggling and fanning girls. Maybe it even annoyed him, just a little bit, having to clear his throat to call his own subordinates for discipline.

When the wrath of the Gods was cast upon his homeland, Dainsleif gave orders to protect the people as he himself rushed back to the Royal Palace. He didn't want to remember what happened there, he really would rather forget about it, but the curse of immortality that was cast upon him would never let him. That pain that he had been suffering with for five hundred years had never dulled, staying fresh and aching like a freshly torn wound.

It was not so long after he parted his ways with the first twin when he met you again. He couldn't tell the exact time of your first proper interaction, but it didn't really matter. When he bumped into you though, you both were in an equal state of shock. Right away it was impossible to say that something was wrong with you two, with a ridiculous amount of clothing you both wore, but the feeling of similarity striked.

You sensed each other's curses, a shiver running down your spine and the twitch of his lips being the only things giving it out.

That first meeting was a bit awkward, he was not gonna lie. It was clear that there were too many questions each wanted to ask, but the lack of prior closeness to each other made it difficult. Eventually you settled on sharing your last memories of Khaenri'ah to figure some things out and on an understanding that now there were two people alike: cursed and homeless, as the doom had been brought both on you and your nation.

At first Dainsleif was very against the idea of you following him around: he was extremely aware of his mission and the last thing he wanted… well, at that time he wasn't sure if it was 'you getting in the way' or 'you getting hurt'. You were no fighter and from what he managed to figure out, in your wanderings you didn't try to learn how to defend yourself. Though, as time passed, he was surprised by how well-versed you were in other areas, such as cooking, treating wounds, earning money and many others he never paid attention to, too focused on pursuing his goal of stopping the Abyss Order.

But during your first meeting he couldn't help but think - and eventually tell outloud - how fragile you looked to him. You were simply a lady-in-waiting, you obviously hadn't been taught the things he had, and it was an issue. He had no idea how you managed to survive for so unbelievably long, but here you were, and it would've been better if you simply continued so, not mingling with his affairs.

Right then he learned that you could be quite persistent. It didn't show only in the way you called him out back then, but also in the inevitability of reunions, no matter how many times he tried to avoid you.

In the end, he gave up, didn't matter it took years to. After all, you had eternity to…live, or rather till the moment your souls are completely eroded.

He took it upon himself to teach you first defending and later on fighting, when you traveled together before your paths would part yet again.

You couldn't follow him to the portals (not like he'd ever let you, it was hard to admit, but you two developed a sense of more than an initial tolerating each other), so sometimes he had to leave you. Neither of you dwelled on it much, even if it could take a lot of time to meet again. The shortest was a couple of weeks, the longest once stretched to over a decade.

You didn't lose time meanwhile. That biggest break, for example, you had used to settle in Liyue to gain money and do some savings for the future - it was much nicer to book rooms in a guest house to spend the night than staying out in the wild. While neither of you minded the latter, the first still was better. You were very lucky that the currency and prices didn't change much over time, so now you had quite the savings still, occasionally taking commissions here and there.

As centuries went by, you grew to care for each other, not caring though to label your relationship anything except for 'companions'. You'd scold him, he'd huff in response. You'd patch him up and try to force him to rest, he'd shrug your attempts off the majority of times and carry on. You'd make a snarky remark about something, he'd let you hear a rare chuckle. You'd come and find him again and he'd go alongside you once more.

Just like now. Without muttering a word, you simply made your way to him, wrapping one arm around his waist and throwing the other over your shoulder - a motion you practiced to perfection and could do in your sleep. Dainsleif was silent too - he was too tired to try and explain anything. In fact he was at that point of exhaustion where he sent the chivalry out of the window and let his body weight gradually lean on you.

"Hold on for a little more, Dain, I'll get you out of here," was the only thing you said and he could simply nod, closing his eyes and entrusting you fully to lead the way.

Luckily, there were no obstacles, you managed to avoid them all. The only thing indicating something was wrong with the path was your arm squeezing tighter around his middle and the feeling of being lifted in the air and brought back to the ground when you took leaps. A couple of times he heard you mumble something under your breath about spotting Black Serpent Knights in the background, but that was all.

The sudden sunlight irritated him, closed eyes squeezed tighter, and he almost cursed. Hours underground made him sensitive to the bright shine cast from above and he wanted to crawl back to the darkness again. Not to mention his mind still chanted the mantra of returning to that miraculous fountain, where he could receive a sliver of peace.

But your body, pressed to his side, made its job to ground him and push some more to continue. Once out of the Chasm completely, you finally opened your mouth again, to let the words of encouragement wash over him. By your brief explanation he grasped that you had set up a camp not so far away from where you currently were and that you were taking him there to check on him and spend a night. Then there was something about him getting better, so you two could depart to a fitter place to stay, with actual rooms and beds. At the words of not letting him go this time his mind finally slipped into slumber.

The next couple of days were hard. Dainsleif was in and out of consciousness, however you never failed to be close whenever he was back in. Sometimes he spotted you sleeping, back just a little bit slouched and chin resting on your chest. He could see it rising and falling with some difficulty as well - it made him think if what had happened in the Chasm managed to reach you out there too and whether you were alright. At those times he let his gaze travel all over your face, noting the crease between your brows, the tight line of your lips, stray hair framing your face.

The Twilight Sword couldn't deny it - you were a beautiful woman. Even centuries of wandering didn't make you lose your grace and stature of a fair lady, suitable and trained to be near the heiress to the throne as a personal companion. It was almost saddening you didn't wear dresses and skirts anymore - for obvious reasons of course. Your body was fully clothed just like his, safe for your hands and face.

To think that a lovely creature like you fell victim to a cruel fate and the will of gods… How miserable.

You once told him that you stopped dwelling on what you'd become - the common people of your homeland were suffering much worse, completely losing their minds and reducing to creatures scared of their own reflection. He couldn't disagree with you, but he couldn't agree either - probably having a mind that could still erode was more horrific.

You had left that conversation at that, however. Now, still in a tent, you were holding a completely different argument.

"Dainsleif, if you are feeling better, we must use that renewed energy to go somewhere peaceful so we could rest properly, not to run off straight to the claws of the Abyss!"

"We will not, I will," oh how many times he saw you roll your eyes, rubbing your temples, it felt almost intimately familiar at this point.

"Listen, Captain, if you want to die then go ahead, but you are going to die if you go! A couple of weeks wouldn't do any harm. What can a bunch of losers do right after one of their grandest plans went south again.

'Captain' huh, you usually used that one when you were particularly annoyed with him. Next was the 'Twilight Sword', which indicated you pretty much wanted to spit venom at him. What a relief it didn't happen often, hearing you say his name was much more comforting.

"They can do everything," he argued, sitting on the ground in front of you and inspecting his cloak. "Their numbers are unknown. They should always be under the watch."

You sighed, readjusting your pose with a knee bent, elbow pressing to it and a fist supporting your cheek. Your star-like irises stared right at him and he knew you were quite disgruntled by his stubbornness.

"You are a soldier right? Even soldiers have their vacation leaves, why don't you consider this as one?"

Oh, that's another thing that became common, that very proving point of yours. He kept silent, having no desire to repeat the words he was always telling you and had said to the Traveler right before they parted. The notion 'vacation' didn't exist in his vocabulary.

You sighed again at the lack of response, redirecting your gaze outside. As he figured out, you had found an abandoned warehouse just where a current from the waterfall not so far from Liyue Harbour divided in two and traveled to the pools of the Lingju Pass and the Qingxu Pool. Just in case you had cleared the area and set the tent inside said building for better protection. The man had to admit, from the first few travels you shared your skills in everything regarding survival had gotten much better. He noted how it made him feel almost proud.

"Speaking of soldiers…" your voice caught his attention again, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Did you see the Black Serpent Knights down there? Or what's left of them, I mean. I spotted them a couple of times and thought that they would attack us, however they simply stared and let us go."

Were you trying to distract him from leaving or were you truly curious? In any case you deserved the synopsis of the events having occurred three days ago.

So he told you. About how he had exited the portal, how he had realized it was a whole network, how he had met Traveler and Paimon, how they had joined their forces and continued exploring the strange cave where you found him. He gave a detailed description of the upside down ruins and the Abyss plan but a brief summary of the effects the Abyss device had triggered and the toll it had on his body and everyone else Khaenri'ah related down there.

"Oh, so that was why I suddenly felt so ghastly," ah, it was as he feared, you suffered it too, yet it seemed not to the same extent as those who were very close to the source.

"Don't tell me that was the reason you decided to check the Chasm."

"Yes, that was exactly the reason. Eight against two chances that if something abnormal happens, you are going to be there. See, I guessed again. And now I know that you are pretty battered for sure. You are not going to stand me up this time, we are going on a vacation."

He knew you meant it differently, but somehow your phrasing made him feel a little bit bashful. Maybe that little quiver of his heart was enough for you to persuade him to finally discuss the possibility of him willingly following you wherever your choice of spending that vacation was.

"I promise you, you'll love it," you were laying out the map with a happy smile on your face - the annoyance was replaced with excitement and the ex-knight couldn't believe him agreeing would make someone feel so giddy. It was kind of cute.

"So… where is that place?" he bent over the map when you motioned him to. His brows furrowed when he followed the direction of your forefinger.

"I apologize, but this is out of the question. It's almost on the other side of Liyue! How much time we'll waste on-"

"About 6-8 days," you interrupt him, "depending on how fast we move. No worries though, I've already done it and found two nice routes where we don't have to climb the mountains!"

He narrowed his eyes and glanced at you.

"You thought everything through, didn't you?"

"I sure did!" Damned Celestia above did you look proud, eyes shining and lips stretched in a victorious grin. "Not to mention I did some research, met with the Community Leader and got her permission to stay over whenever we'd like to. So," you tapped your finger on the location, "we are going and you have no way to get out of it. And if I spot an Abyss portal, conveniently appearing just for you to jump in, I swear, I'll tie you up with your own cape and drag away like a sack."

Oh yeah, you were persistent indeed. Sometimes Dainsleif thought that maybe helping you to train to the state of physical power you now possessed was a mistake. But at the same time it really amused the blond - the way you could handle him and boss him around at times was definitely much better than having to look after an obedient and weak court girl.

This time, he thought, maybe he must give in. After all, you'd been putting up with him for so long without much complaint (save for times when you argued about his health or small meaningless quarrels about this and that), giving you a green light was the least he could do. Besides, you put effort into your deed, made sure that you and him could take a break to restore your energy and spend time together…

Ah, the last thought was probably undue, especially in the context Dainsleif imagined. Heaving a sigh, he took a moment to clear his mind, weigh all prons and cons, and finally give you his verdict.

"Alright… we will go to the Qingce Village for that 'vacation' thing."

"Finally."

The only word Dainsleif could describe the scenery before his eyes was peaceful.

Squirrels chasing each other in the grass, boars rubbing their sides against the trunks of the trees, paying little attention to you two, finches jumping across the roads and redbill pelicans watching over the fishermen to find a perfect moment to strike and steal fish. A soft tune played on the flute had been accompanying you ever since you had set foot in the village, and the man couldn’t help but watch you somewhat fondly when you started walking two steps ahead of him to have room for an impromptu little dance.

Aside from the evident content etched in your features, he noted the grace of your steps, the echoes of the long-forgotten movements incorporated in your dance. It almost felt that, should you put on a dress and take his hand, you’d be back in the ballrooms of the royal palace, twirling to the music of the orchestra. But he didn’t dare to reach his hand - dancing was never his strongest suit.

Not like either of you really danced much at the events back then.

Eventually, passing the fields and many cute-looking houses, you led him up the road, ending at the big pavilion. There, in the middle of the vast space, an old-looking woman stood. Her wrinkled face brightened upon spotting your two approaching figures.

“Ah, young miss, you are back.”

“Good afternoon, Granny Ruoxin!” You beam with a smile - another useful skill Dainsleif had lost along the way of his travels. “May you and your village stay prosperous.”

“Thank you, dear. I’m happy to see you again - the villagers still remember you fondly for all the good deeds you did when we were in need of help,” she slowly walked closer to you and gently patted your hand, to which you nodded, while your companion could only stare at you. Just how long ago did you start planning your stay here if you had already gotten in favor of this village’s people?

Then the old woman directed her attention at him. For a second Dainsleif tensed up, awareness striking him - his uniform was…old-fashioned if not weird. But then he immediately remembered how you forced him to change into a more suitable clothes you’d gotten him beforehand, dressed his arm in bandage just to be safe and covered the mask on his face with the grown blonde hair. A sigh of relief quietly rustled between his lips.

“And that’s, I assume, the man you were talking about when we were discussing your possible vacation here? You have quite a husband, my dear.”

Here it goes again, and no matter how often it happened the Twilight Sword was never mentally prepared. On the surface though he was as stoic as ever - if people assumed you were a couple, you simply went with that assumption. Long ago you came to have a mutual understanding and thus agreement that it’d help to save mora (getting one room instead of two, discounts for couples, etc). Besides citizens, but mostly elderly villagers would fawn over you two, loving the presence of two cute and polite young(-looking) visitors, who wouldn’t be against helping around in exchange for a place to stay or something else.

It appeared this time it was going to be the case as well.

“Ah, yes, let me introduce you two. This,” you gestured at the woman, “is Granny Ruoxin, she is the Community Leader of the Qingce Village. And this is,” you stepped closer to wrap your arm around the man’s, and he had to summon his willpower not to shiver from the intimate contact,” as you’ve guessed correctly, my lovely husband, Daniel.”

“I see, I see,” she nodded with a soft smile, which made her wrinkles even more pronounced, “It is nice to finally meet you, Daniel.”

As you carefully nudged his side with an elbow and gave a “be polite” kind of look, Dainsleif did his best to muster a small courteous smile - more a quirk of the lips.

“The feeling is mutual, lady.”

The following evening was spent settling in the house of the miller of the village - a sweet middle-aged woman who was informed beforehand and gladly offered you quite the spacious room she held specifically for guests. Being left to your own devices, you and Dainsleif put your things away in a wardrobe first, and then, checking the closed window and door, you pushed the man to sit onto the bed to check on the state of his wounds. At this point, he didn’t even try to protest - silently letting you lift his shirt, even using his own hand to hold the hem to his throat while you were treating the almost healed patches of damaged tissue. When, after finishing up, you offered him to catch some sleep while you’d be out assessing the changes that might’ve occurred since your last visit, to which he shook his head strongly. If you were out of the house - so would he. You understood where it came from - left alone on unfamiliar territory with people who could ask quite many questions nearby - you’d too rather be close to a person who knew how to deal with all that. It’s just, that in that situation you were that very person.

And so you left on your journey to explore. You had had time to tell him a little about the village during your trip, so Dainsleif wasn’t completely clueless - yet seeing everything with his own eyes was still the best way to gather information about the place and its inhabitants. He soon came to realize that the place seemed to be a retirement spot for the elderly, who were enjoying the slow running of their lives, tending to the terraced fields, which he couldn’t recall seeing anywhere before, and watching over their grandchildren, whom - according to your explanation - parents sent off on a small vacation away from the city.

He mostly kept quiet if someone stopped you in your tracks and engaged in a small conversation, only occasionally nodding or giving one word answers. You almost found it charming how he unintentionally took a step closer to you when it happened and gave you a wary glance, clearly not sure what to do with himself. You had no idea what he was like back in Khaenri’ah, but even then you doubted he had been a social butterfly, and was even less so now.

“Ascetic,” you smirked, when the elderly couple who’d stopped you to offer a snack resumed their walk up into the village. The way he rolled his one visible eye and huffed didn’t escape you and only lifted your mood more. Dainsleif could argue that he was a reserved man all he wanted, it didn’t change the fact that over time he grew prone to your teasing remarks and tended to give you reactions a ‘reserved man’ would hardly give.

It was nice.

After a couple of hours loitering around not the biggest village in the world, you climbed a small, more or less secluded mountain and, perfectly hidden from the village people beneath, settled down on the grass-filled patch to marvel at the stunning view ahead of you. It would be some time before the sun began to settle, so you had an opportunity to enjoy the beauty of the mountains and hills, blooming flower fields, simply dressed people moving around, followed by dogs or lazily chewing domestic animals. A gentle breeze was rustling the grass blades below and even more so where you two sat, adding to the serene atmosphere. Caressing your faces it was playing with the man’s blonde hair - dirty at the moment, and you made a mental note of making him wash head to toe now that you had a place to stay for a while.

Sensing your gaze, Dainsleif turned to look at you, putting an arm behind to support his body. That made you aware that you were staring at him, and by the small smirk tugging at his lips, you were hit with realization - probably just a tiny bit your stare was longing.

Damn the happiness of seeing the idiot alive after a whole year of no news from each other.

“So…” you cleared your throat, forcing yourself not to look away, “your thoughts on the place?”

Before giving you a proper answer, Dainsleif hummed, breaking eye contact to look around once more (you immediately forced the air stuck in your chest out). After a couple more seconds, the sapphire eyes returned to you.

“Still think this ‘vacation’ is pointless.”

At that you sighed, not entirely surprised, yet still feeling slightly dejected. It was wishful thinking to assume that a stubborn man like your companion would find the idea pleasing - but he wasn’t running away yet and that was something worth a small internal celebration. Which you might have already had a couple of times. In your head.

Suddenly something bumped your knee, and a glance to the side left you with widened eyes - Dainsleif had shifted from his previous spot closer to you, now with two hands firmly planted behind him to lean on and your knees touching. His gaze was directed right ahead.

“But the place is…agreeable. Especially since I am here with you.”

And just like that the scenery got so much brighter as his words were washing over your very being. He appreciated your company, and, looking back at how guarded he used to be with you, the notion warmed your heart, sending pleasant tingles through your body.

“Yeah…” you nodded, - more to yourself than to him, - and a grin returned to your face as you mirrored the way he was sitting to turn your face to the kind rays of the sun. “I like it here with you too.”

You did not see that, but Dainsleif broke into a small smile - the first in a long time.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #dainsleif x reader #dainsleif x fem!reader #dainsleif #genshin impact fluff

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tavolgisvist · 3 months ago

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What we were talking about

The teenage Paul McCartney would love the idea of fame. That’s what he was trying to do, that was the dream. But it’s funny – life gives you minor premonitions. You don’t think of them as premonitions until the dream comes true and then you think, ‘Hey, I wonder if that was a sign’. I remember when John and I were first hanging out together, I had a dream about digging in the garden with my hands. I’d dreamt that before but I’d never found anything other than an old tin can. But in this dream I found a gold coin. I kept digging and I found another. And another. The next day I told John about this amazing dream I’d had and he said, ‘That’s funny, I had the same dream’. So both of us had this dream of finding this treasure. And I suppose you could say it came true. I remember years later talking about it – ‘Remember that dream we had?’; ‘Yeah, that was far out’. So the message of that dream was: keep digging lads.

(Paul McCartney, Feb 2012, interview for The Big Issue)

Paul: They’re onto that thing. They just want to be near to each other. So I just think it’s just silly of me, or of anyone, to try and say to him, “No, you can’t,” you know. It’s like, ‘cause – okay, they’re – they’re going overboard about it, but John always does! And Yoko probably always does. So that’s their scene. You can’t go saying – you know, “Don’t go overboard about this thing. Be sensible about it. Don’t bring it to meetings.” It’s his decision, that. It’s – it’s none of our business, to start interfering in that. Even when it comes into our business, you still can’t really say much, unless – except, “Look, I don’t like it, John.” And then he can say, well, “Screw you,” or, “I like it,” or, “Well, I won’t do it so much,” or blablabla. Like, that’s the only way, you know. To tell John about that. Michael Lindsay-Hogg: Have you done that already? Paul: Well, I told him I didn’t like writing songs… with him and Yoko.

(Paul McCartney, Get Back sessions, 13 January, 1969)

John’s John. John wants to wipe everything away and start again, but in doing so he never wipes anything away. He wants it to be him and Yoko against the world, or whatever, but he`s still in with all the others, in with all the contracts and going into the meetings and everything. “He’s getting pissed off with it though – I sense it. I’ve had a couple of good conversations recently with just John, and I’ve felt a lot of common ground with him.* And I watched him on the Parkinson show, and really a lot of the things he’s into, we’re into as well.”

(Paul McCartney, Nov 1971, interview with Steve Peacock for Sounds)

*after John’s ‘Imagine’ with HDYS but befor John's letter to Paul in Melody Maker

More about fight John and Paul had through the Melody Maker here

There’s no hard feelings or anything, but you just don’t hang around with your ex-wife. We’ve completely finished. ’Cos, you know, I’m just not that keen on John after all he’s done. I mean, you can be friendly with someone, and they can shit on you, and you’re just a fool if you keep friends with them. I’m not just going to lie down and let him shit on me again. I think he’s a bit daft, to tell you the truth. I talked to him about the Klein thing, and he’s so misinformed it’s ridiculous.**

(Paul McCartney interviewed by student journalist Ian McNulty for the Hull University Torch, May 1972 [From The McCartney Legacy, Volume 1: 1969 – 1973 by Allan Kozinn and Adrian Sinclair, 2022)

**after John's letter to Paul in Melody Maker (published 4th Dec 1971)

We'd had a bread strike over here*** and I rang him and I was saying, What are you doing? He says. I'm baking some bread.' 'Oh! Me too.' Imagine, with the stereotypes, John and Paul talking about baking bread.

(Paul McCartney, May 2001, interview for Mojo magazine)

***a bread strike in England was in Nov 1978

Q: Do you regret that your life has become so public? A: I realized that a good fifteen years ago. I remember actually thinking when I went on holiday somewhere, ‘God I’d really better start thinking now about keeping a few countries aside where we don’t sell records. I won’t be able to go anywhere without being recognized.’ But now I think, ‘Really, I’ve reached the point of no return. There’s no going back.’ Even if I didn’t want to sing anymore, I’d just be like Greta Garbo or Brigitte Bardot. They both retired but you’d never know it. John said this to me a year before he died. He said, ‘Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.’ That’s the way I look at it. I wished for all this and I got it. To regret it would mean I’d have to sit here and live with negative thoughts about it. I know that would only sink me. Even if I had feelings of regret my personality would not really let them out. ‘Look mate, you don’t regret it. Look on the other side,’ that’s me. Not to sink. I always used to do that instinctively, and not allow too many negative thoughts to surface.

(Paul McCartney, April/May 1982, interview for Music Express)

Q: Do you remember your last conversation with John? A: Yes. That is a nice thing, a consoling factor for me, because I do feel it was sad that we never actually sat down and straightened our differences out. But fortunately for me, the last phone conversation I ever had with him was really great, and we didn’t have any kind of blowup. It could have easily been one of the other phone calls, when we blew up at each other and slammed the phone down. PLAYBOY: Do you remember what you talked about? PAUL: It was just a very happy conversation about his family, my family. Enjoying his life very much; Sean was a very big part of it. And thining about getting on with his career. I remember he said, “Oh, God, I’m like Aunt Mimi, padding round here in me dressing gown”– robe, as he called it, ’cause he was picking up the American vernacular –“feeding the cats in me robe and cooking and putting a cup of tea on. This housewife wants a career!” It was that time for him. He was about to launch Double Fantasy.*

(Paul McCartney, Dec 1984, interview for Playboy)

*Double Fantasy released 17 November 1980

I tell you, he said one thing to me which made me understand what they were up to just as two people, not as anything else. Just as two people. He just said, ‘I tell you, it’s like holding hands on the back row of the pictures.’ <…> John. . . he says, ‘It’s too bad if I look. . . if we look, like people think we’re funny. It’s too bad. This is how we are and we’re very straight.’ ’Cause they are, really. They’re two great people, you know, and they’re very much in love. So you can’t say anything more than that.

(Paul McCartney, May 1969, interview with Roy Corlett)

SALEWICZ: Well, I always found it interesting the fact that he got – I mean, it seemed too much like coincidence to me, the fact that he got married a week or month after you. You know what I mean? PAUL: Yeah. I think we spurred each other into marriage. I mean, you know. They were very strong together, which left me out of the picture. So I got together with Linda and then we got strong with our own kind of thing. And I used to listen to a lot of what they said. I remember him saying to me, "You've got to work at marriage," which is something I still remember as a bit of advice. I still remember that. Um… And then yeah, I think they were a little bit peeved that we got married first. Probably. In a little way, you know, just minor jealousies. And so they got married. I don't know if that's – I mean, who knows… [inaudible] making it up, anyway.

(Paul McCartney, 1986, interview with Chris Salewicz for Q Magazine)

I spoke to the Eastmans. I said, “If we all think he’s not going to have a tax consequence, let’s give [the indemnity] to him.”’Cause, you know, if all sides are that smart, let’s all offer it. Break the deadlock. I went to New York, feeling like the bringer of good news. I rang him up. “Hello, John, how are you? Hello, how’s the kids? Oh, great. What’s all this about publishing? Yeah, great”—laugh laugh laugh—“What about Apple?” Tense. You know, that was the unfortunate thing in the last ten years. The moment you mention the word Apple, all of us go, eeeeep! Dread and horror and shock goes through all our systems. I said, “Look, as I understand it, you need this indemnity.” John said, “Fucking indemnity. Fucking this, fucking that. You don’t need to give me fucking indemnity, you fucking—” I think we ended up just sort of swearing at each other. I said, “Fuck you, ya big cunt,” ’cause I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t be sweet and reasonable anymore. I was shaking for an hour after that. Of course, the funniest thing was, I then meant to ring John Eastman and say to him, “No, no, it’s not gonna work, this whole thing. I tried to do the indemnity, it’s not gonna work.” Of course, I got the phone numbers wrong. I rang John Lennon back instead. [When the phone was answered, I said,] “Hello, John? Yeah, listen, I just—oh—yeah well…” But it was Yoko this time, and then I said, “Look, I didn’t mean for it to get like that—but, shit, you know, it seems to have got…” The funny thing was, they knew I was trying to ring John Eastman immediately after, so that would have reinforced their little feelings about me double-dealing. I’ve hardly talked to him since. I rang last Christmas, and I was smart enough not to mention Apple. We had a pleasant conversation. I was allowed to talk to his son, which was lovely. His son seemed very nice.

(Paul McCartney, 1980, in All You Need Is Love by Peter Brown and Steven Gaines)

We were submerged in business troubles at the time. There was incredible bitterness. At one point, to get some peace in the camp, I told my lawyers I wanted to give John an indemnity he had been seeking against a certain clause in one of the Apple contracts. I said, “Someone’s gotta make the first move. I’d love to be the voice of reason here.” I happened to be on my way to the Caribbean, so, passing through New York, I rang John up. But there was so much suspicion, even though I came bearing the olive branch. I said, “Hey, I’d like to see you.” He said, “What for? What do you really want?” It was very difficult. Finally . . . he had a great line for me: he said, “You’re all pizza and fairy tales.” He’d become sort of Americanized by then, so the best insult I could think of was to say, “Oh, fuck off, Kojak,” and slam the phone down. “Pizza and fairy tales” – I almost made that an album title. That was about the strength of our relationship then – very, very bitter – and we didn’t get over that for a long, long time. But thank God, at the very end, we suddenly realized that all we had to do was not mention Apple if we phoned each other. We could talk about the kids, talk about his cats, talk about writin’ songs – the one paramount thing was not to mention Apple. So then the last couple of phone calls we had were getting very nice. I remember once he said to me, “Do they play me against you like they play you against me?” Because there were always people in the background pitting us against each other. And I said, “Yeah, they do. They sure do.” That was a couple of months before he . . . it’s still weird even to say, “before he died.” I still can’t come to terms with that. I still don’t believe it. It’s like, you know, those dreams you have, where he’s still alive; then you wake up and . . . “Oh.”

(Paul McCartney, September 1986, interview with Kurt Loder for Rolling Stones)

add to this

and this

#'you've got to work at marriage'#john and paul #interview: paul #paul mccartney #john lennon #peter brown #chris salewicz #roy corlett #apple corp.#accidental divorce #allen klein

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spoonfulofmilo · 11 months ago

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Could you do fic for Toto Wolff with wife reader? He opted to hold her hand during the celebration of the Merc's double podium because there were too many people. "Move through the crowd while holding hands so as to not lose one another – and not letting go afterwards". Just something fluff and comfort. Add something if it's not right. Tag me later!! Thanks :)))

sorry it's so short! but I loved writing this fluff, and honestly churned it out in like 1 hour.

also if you have older requests i am working on them, I am just also working on school work.

luckily, all my assessments are nearly done, and holidays are next week so yay! more updates :)

my masterlist can be accessed here

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)

toto wolff x wife!reader

“AND THAT IS A MERCEDES 1-2 TO THROW THIS CHAMPIONSHIP WIDE OPEN AT THE SAUDI ARABIAN GRAND PRIX AND 3 YEARS AFTER WINNING HIS LAST GRAND PRIX HERE, LEWIS HAMILTON HAS WON HIS 104TH CAREER VICTORY AND WHAT A WAY TO DO IT IN HIS LAST SEASON WITH MERCEDES.”

The rest of Crofty’s speech was drowned out by the cheers of the garage around Y/N as the team who had gone so long without winning, especially Lewis’ side of the garage cheered and yelled and as the pit mechanics came back from where they’d been on the fence yelling and contributed to more noise.

Y/N felt a little overwhelmed. She hadn’t really been in the garage since 2021, due to her husband’s tensions during the year and her wish to continue to just focus on her own career. She tried to insist she was the team’s bad luck charm after Abu Dhabi, until people had pointed out that she’d also been there during the dominant 2020 season. And as she had spent 2022 and 2023, which also were not great years for Mercedes, she’d agreed to do a lot more of her work remotely and come to the grand prixs. She insisted that she was bad luck at the first grand prix, and Toto had basically dragged her along to Saudi.

Maybe she was their good luck charm, she thought, as the garage exploded when Max and Sergio had crashed into each other, making both the red bulls retire. The Ferrari’s had been having problems all weekend but no one truly hoped even when they were sitting in a 1-2.

At least until they’d crossed the line. And then they’d had hope. And then the celebrations had begun. Someone had already found champagne and begun spraying it around, no one thinking about the podium, until all of a sudden everyone was and they were all rushing around and Y/N was all caught up in the rush and being pushed around by everyone, trying to find Toto until she felt a hand slip into hers.

She jumped back, not wanting some strange man holding her hand until she looked up and realised that it was in fact her husband who was trying to hold her hand.

“Sorry…didn’t realise it was you.”

“That’s okay Liebe. I’ve got you. Now lets go watch Lewis on the podium, okay?”

The second she nodded in agreement, Toto slipped his hand back into Y/N’s as he tried to push through the crowd again. Being tall and the team principal helped, and as they weren't coming for the pre podium celebrations, which is where everyone else was rushing towards. As the drivers were hugged and yelled at again by the mechanics (honestly how were they going to have voices tomorrow, and how were the red bull mechanics’ voices not very raspy after doing this practically every week for the past few years). Y/N thought she was going to have to cancel her meetings for the next few weeks as she would just be unable to talk.

Toto pushed through the throng of mechanics, pushing through the Mercedes and Williams colours everywhere, trying to get a good position at the front, and then the announcers began, and Toto and Y/N were wedged against the barrier and they decided to stop and watch the podium.

Y/N watched as Albon mounted the podium, grinning to the feral screams of the Williams mechanics to her left. She’d ended up wedged between James and Toto, smiling at James’ excitement on Alex being on the podium. She smiled at him as the noise from the Williams side of the podium celebration. He smiled back, almost bouncing up and down by the excitement of what Williams was achieving. And as Lewis, George and Bono bounded onto the podium, bringing up a round of screaming and even Y/N raised her hands. And as she raised her right hand, she could feel Toto’s hand, still intertwined with hers. She smiled, locking eyes with Toto.

His eyes twinkled as he smiled down, before his attention was brought back to the podium and yelling at the drivers.

The German and British anthems blared out, and while Y/N knew most of the words of the British anthem (it was mostly just the same words on repeat ‘god save our king’). And while Toto was able to sing the German anthem while Y/N butchered it here and there. She loved listening to her husband singing or talking in his natural language. It was very hot, if Y/N had to admit it.

As they left the podium to go back to the garage, Toto had still not let go of her hand as they continued winding between what felt like millions of people crowding the pit lane.

When they finally returned to the Mercedes garage, and walked up to Toto’s office, Toto finally let go of Y/N’s hand and started to gather up his work and laptop to get ready to return to the hotel.

“Hey, toto?”

“Yes liebe?”

“Why were you holding my hand?”

“Well, I didn’t want to get lost, and I didn’t want you to get lost, liebe.”

“Yeah, but why didn’t you let go of my hand when we got to the podium”

“Do I need an excuse to hold your hand, darling?”

“No but…”

“Then I kept holding your hand because I wanted to keep holding your hand. Is that a good enough excuse?”

“Okay Liebe.”

Toto put all his files and laptop in his left hand after shrugging on his overcoat, and then offered his right hand to Y/N.

“Can I keep holding your hand liebe?”

“Of course you can darling.”

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @pear-1206, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3

#f1 x reader #miloformula123fan #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff fic #toto wolff #toto wolff x female reader #toto wolff x you #toto wolff x y/n

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smokedhamu · 10 months ago

Text

- Until we meet again - (Sound ON) I animated Zach's "We will be reunited" stream back in 2022, forgot to post it here. Sorry for the old art!!

#genshin impact #genshin #lumine #aether #genshin traveler #animation #fanimation #fan animation #genshin animation #zach aguilar #sarah miller crews #genshin wish #childe #tartaglia

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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Am I the Asshole for taking my SIL to an anime convention?

My (42M) SIL (29F) has autism and was living with my MIL until she suddenly passed away from heart failure back in 2022. My wife (40F) and I both knew SIL likes to cosplay and go to conventions. Figuring that’s something she and MIL did together, I decided to tell her I want to take her to an anime convention the following year. We chose one that worked out for all of us, timeline wise, along with the costs of transportation, hotel, etc.

Now, this may be a controversial opinion, but I hate anime; nearly all of it is hypersexualized (aside from one, which I’ll get into in a moment). It makes me cringe that my oldest daughter (13F) loves anime, and that that’s all she ever wants to watch. Personally, I feel she’s getting too old for cartoons, but since I also have two younger children, I let it slide.

Prior to actually leaving for con, SIL had sent emails of videos and blogs all about attending anime conventions. Clearly eager to prepare us. She also had outbursts over all sorts of things and lashed out at us on multiple occasions; her emails were often filled with negativity, and simmering rage. In between all of this, we had her relocate to an apartment closer to us.

Anyway, SIL, my daughter, and I go to the airport, we get to the hotel and check-in. We explored the city for a few hours. Now, before all of this, SIL claims she has a “low heat tolerance”, and complained the entire time whenever we walked from Point A to Point B; yes, the city the con was at has good transit and yes I insisted we walk anyway. It’s good exercise! This led to her throwing a fit when we reached a museum I really wanted to check out. We took an Uber back to the hotel and I don’t hear from her again until the next day when we met up to have lunch.

She’s cosplaying a character I don’t recognize and doesn’t tell me anything about them when I asked; it was clearly supposed to be a boy character, though.

Next day, I got a text from SIL; she unexpectedly got her period. Great. Since she asked, I run and get her some pads, only to have to wait an hour in line. Also great. She’s cosplaying another character I don’t recognize. Some magical creature or a doll of some kind. Anyway, us three go into one of the viewing rooms to screen this anime SIL was insistent on showing us. Some Sherlock thing. My daughter likes it, and I’ll admit, I enjoyed it too; I think it is very kid friendly.

Last day, once again, I don’t see or hear from SIL until we meet up in the hotel lobby waiting for our ride to the airport. Seems she had a good time though. She was dressed as one of the kids from that hero anime my daughter likes. She also bought my daughter an axolotl plush (her favorite animal). Going through security was hell; SIL had the nerve to have an attitude the whole time (again later claiming she was overheated and cranky from her period). After we got home she claimed she was never traveling anywhere with me again.

In the days following, she returned the luggage my wife had leant her, having booby trapped it with a photo with the glass broken. Then informs me that her account was overdrawn (I would have gladly paid for more than I did, if she hadn’t been so bitchy).

When we went to her apartment to discuss this, she made the same claims: that she was tired and cranky from the heat, made worse from her period, that I was stressing her out half the time, but that she was grateful despite that because when her mom died, anime conventions were the first thing she was ready to give up.

She also claimed the photo she broke was taken the same year she first attempted to take her own life, and that triggered a panic attack on top of the meltdown she had after returning home.

And the kicker: apparently her mother barely spent any time at conventions, and only sometimes tagged along because she “wanted a vacation”.

Now she claims that I -I repeat I- ruined that Sherlock anime for her. And now is planning to attend a few more cons…Alone.

So what say you? Am I the Asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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holylulusworld · 1 year ago

Text

Dishonored

Title: Dishonored

Summary: You fell. For his lies. For him. From grace.

Pairing: Prince!Steven Grant Rogers x Princess!Reader; Lord Barnes x Princess!Reader (no polyamory)

Warnings: heavy angst (I’m not joking), lies, manipulation, hurting people for revenge, implied loss of innocence, unwanted/unplanned pregnancy, Steve being the worst, sadness, hopelessness, desperation, suicidal tendency/suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, fluff, we stan Bucky in this story

Rating: Mature

Words: 2,7 k

Square filled for @anyfandomfluffbingo: Square 9: “I never loved you.”

Square filled for Lulu’s Winter Bingo 2022: Square 4: Winter

Square filled for @steverogersbingo: C3: Free space – Royal AU

Square filled for @buckybarnesbingo: C2: Sharing body heat

Please heed the warnings for this story. It contains triggering content such as attempted suicide.

You fell. For his lies. For him. From grace.

How do you move on when your honor and grace get ripped away by the man who promised you love and devotion?

He lured you in – sweet-talked you into giving him the one thing you cherished the most. Your honor and innocence. Reserved for your future husband, and the man loving you unconditionally.

Lies. All lies.

It was a moment of weakness making you stumble and fall. Into his bed. Into his arms.

He took you apart, gentle, and slow. A miracle to you when you think about the aftermath.

A few months earlier, your father’s castle

“I can't believe Prince Steven came to woo me,” you mumbled to yourself. The prince arrived earlier this morning and you hoped your dreams would come true. You always felt a deep connection to the prince, and now, he’s here to talk to your father.

“Princess!” Your chambermaid scolded. “You shouldn’t be out here in the cold! Your father called for you. He wants you to meet Prince Steven. He will stay at the castle for a few weeks until he travels to his uncle’s castle.”

Your face fell. He came here to sit out the approaching snowstorm, nothing else.

How could you have been foolish enough to believe he came to ask for your hand?

“I’m…coming,” you tried to not cry. All your hopes and dreams ended up on the ground - shattered and torn. “We cannot let our guest wait.”

“Father,” you stepped confidently toward your father to peck his cheek. He was always soft on you, and let you break a few rules. Especially when it came to etiquette. You’re his little thunderstorm, a wild child with a bright mind and softness that’s hard to find among royals. “I heard we have a guest.”

“He’ll be here in a minute,” the king softly said. He ran his hand over your hair and patted your head. “I need you on your best behavior. I angered the prince, and we don’t want him to tell his father the king about it.”

You wrinkled your forehead. “What? I don’t understand,” you whispered so no one could hear. Your father is one of the kindest people you know. How could he possibly anger the prince?

“Your Highness,” Steven walked inside the throne room, accompanied by his best friend, and confident Lord Barnes. The brunette watched you with interest while the prince’s eyes drifted toward your brother and his fiancé, Lady Margaret Carter. “I see the princess will join us for supper.”

“Your Highness,” you turned your attention toward the prince. “It’s a pleasure to meet you again. It’s been too long.”

Steven eagerly took your offered hand to press a chaste kiss to the back of it. “The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for having me.”

“Lord Barnes,” you smiled at the brunette. Last time you saw him he was reading a book in the garden, chuckling at something he read. “I hope you’ll enjoy your stay. The library is always open for you.”

“Princess,” Lord Barnes smiled wildly. “You look as beautiful as ever.”

“Oh…my…you are too kind, Lord Barnes,” you replied gracefully and batted your eyelashes. “It’s always a pleasure having you around.”

Supper was more than pleasant. Lord Barnes kept the conversation flowing while the prince watched you the whole time. He complimented you and raised his glass on your beauty and grace.

You were surprised. His eyes seemed to be glued to your brother and his fiancé. Out of a sudden Prince Steven turned his attention toward you. He even stopped his friend from talking to you.

Your cheeks heated up, and you felt warm when he placed his hand next to yours, subtly brushing your pinkie with his finger.

It was the first time he was so close, and you allowed yourself to bask in his attention for as long as it lasted.

The next days felt like a dream come true. Steven asked you to spend time with him and go for a walk in the gardens. For propriety's sake, a chaperon accompanied you and Steven. But you didn’t care at all.

The moments spent with the prince were the best of your life. He made you smile, and laugh and your heart flutter.

All that mattered to you was his smile, his soft blue eyes, and the way he looked at you. It was the same way your father looked at your father and your brother at his chosen bride.

“I wish these days will never end,” you dared to hope Steven would say the same.

He took you by surprise when he replied. “Even if they end,” he looked you deep in the eyes, leaning a little closer to whisper, “I’ll always come back to you."

The prince was about to press a soft kiss on your forehead when your chaperone stepped in.

“Your Highness, please do not forget you are wooing for a princess, not a wench. Remember your manners,” she tutted. “We should head back inside. It’s getting colder, and I can smell the snow.”

Marjorie, your chaperone was right. Winter came faster than expected, accompanied by a snowstorm that wouldn’t let up.

The whole country was suffering from the cold weather and the snow masses.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. The snowstorm and unforgiving winter kept Steven and Lord Barnes from leaving your castle.

You didn’t mind. Most of the time you spend with Steven, chatting about his kingdom, childhood, and love.

Yes. Love.

You held hands, and when your chaperone wasn’t looking, he even stole kisses. Steven promised you that love is the most precious thing to protect in this world.

He played you well, you give him that.

Your heart couldn’t take being apart from Steven for a single moment. So, you gave him everything you had to offer, and what he was craving.

On one of these cold winter nights, you let him sneak into your bedroom, and take you to bed. He kissed you, and when he settled between your thighs you believed he would make you his wife and love you forever.

When it was over, he smirked, and his eyes grew cold. Your heart dropped as he hastily redressed. “Steven, what are you doing?”

“My plan went well, didn’t it?” He looked at you, making you feel ashamed of yourself. You grabbed the blanket to cover your body. The one he ruined with his touch.

“I don’t understand, Steven. My love. What has gotten into you? You said you love me.” You cried as he looked at you, wrinkling his nose at your disheveled state.

“I never loved you,” he coldly replied. “Your father forced the woman I love to marry your brother,” he sneered and curled his lips. “I stole his beloved daughter’s innocence. What will he do if he finds out you are carrying my bastard under your heart?”

“Steven, I don’t…” Your voice trembled. “Why? I…”

“I came here to ask your father to stop this insanity and let me marry Margaret. I love her dearly. He refused and wanted to send me away.”

You remember now. Your father told you that he upset Steven.

“But…she came here, begging my father to help her. She wanted to marry my brother. Margaret wasn’t my father’s first choice. Some princesses and ladies were more beautiful and with a better reputation. He agreed because she was in love with my brother and threatened to kill herself if he didn’t allow her to marry my brother.”

“What?” He looked a little shell-shocked at your words but shook his head. “Lies!” Steven yelled, making you flinch. “Shut your mouth, wench. Never talk about Margaret like that again.”

He left without looking back and slammed the door shut. Leaving you devasted, heartbroken, and ruined.

After that night, he never looked at you. He declared that he was going to stay at the guest wing until it was time to leave.

One month later, …

Hopelessness is the only thing left in your life. You can feel a new life growing in your womb. Every passing day brings you closer to doomsday.

Soon you won’t be able to hide the secret. Soon everyone will know you got dishonored.

Foolish girl letting a man take what should have never been his.

You run your hand over your belly, choking out another sob. If you want to save what’s left of your honor, you must take matters into your own hands.

Shakily you glance at the balcony parapet again. If you do it now, you can save your honor, and your father’s.

Stepping toward the parapet you release a shuddery breath.

What if it’s not high enough? What if you survive? What if they ask questions?

“No,” you step away from the parapet. This is the wrong way to go. You must let it look like an accident. Or maybe, if you can find someone selling you a potion, you can end your life painlessly and fast.

The river looked inviting to you. You looked at the floating water, fascinated by its power and grace.

Once upon a time, you were gracefully too.

That was until your grace and innocence got ripped away from you like it meant nothing to him. “If I step into the river, it will be over soon. Maybe they will believe it was an accident. I slipped and fell into the river.”

Slowly, you stepped toward the water, closing your eyes for a moment. This was the only way to save your honor. The water would wash away the sin you committed and take your secret with it.

You took another step, and another until you felt the cold water kiss your feet. “Cold.” You whispered but walked farther into the water, feeling it tug at your gown. “It will be over soon, my little stardust.” You rubbed your belly. “I’m so sorry.”

The water surrounded you, almost reaching your waistline as you heard someone call for you. “Princess! NO!”

It was Lord Barnes. His heart stopped beating for a moment when he saw you in the river. He knew something was wrong with the way his friend acted out of a sudden.

“Nooo!” You heard the water splashing and then, two strong arms wrapped around you like anchors holding you in this world. “What are you doing, princess.”

“I cannot…he dishonored me,” you choked out a heartbreaking sob. “I cannot remain. No man will want me. Not after he took my innocence and…the baby…it will be a bastard.”

Lord Barnes stiffened when the words floated out of your mouth like the water in the river. He couldn’t believe his friend and confidant would do such a thing to you for revenge.

“My love. No,” he dragged you out of the water, and wrapped you in his arms, letting you cry in his chest until there were no tears left in you. Lord Barnes said. “Stay with me, my love. I’ll keep you warm. We need to keep each other warm.”

“But I—” You lifted your head to look at him with tear-clouded eyes. “You should’ve let me die. Father will…”

“He won’t know. Not about what happened with Steven, nor what you did today. What a coincidence I came by when you slipped and fell into the river,” he whispered and kissed your temple. “I came back to ask for your hand, and to wed you in spring.”

Your heart thundered in your chest at his words. “I’m…ruined. You don’t want me, or my bastard child.”

“I will love it like my own, my love,” he kissed your cheek. “You are not ruined, princess. Only a little broken. But we can fix this. I got my heart broken once too. We will heal together.”

“My lord, the babe…it’s not yours…I can’t…you can’t.”

“It’s cold, let’s head back to the castle and get you warm. I’ll call for a healer…”

“Not a word about her condition except for the cold,” Lord Barnes warned the healer. “If you say a word about the other thing,” he patted his sword, “you won’t be able to spend all the gold you’ll get.”

“Not a word,” the healer nodded and walked back inside your room.

“Marry my daughter?” Your father eyed Lord Barnes warily. He came back a few days after Prince Steven and he left the castle. Alone, and with a grim expression. “But…what about the prince?”

“He’s a foolish man, my king,” Lord Barnes growled. “He lost his heart one too many times to a pretty face. I cherish your daughter, her grace, and her kindness. If you allow me to woo her, I’ll be forever grateful. I’m not a prince but love her dearly.”

“She admires you too,” the king replied. “She talked about you, and that you love to read as much as she does. If my daughter agrees, I’ll agree on your bond.”

Lord Barnes didn’t wait until spring to wed you. He insisted on marrying you within another month.

You watched him with sad eyes as he desperately tried to fix his friend’s mistake.

“Lord Barnes, you can still find a better bride,” you took his hand to press a soft kiss on his knuckles. “I’m thankful that you tried to save my honor, but I cannot make you miserable for the rest of your life.”

“My love,” he whispered. “I fell for you the first time we met. If only I knew about Steven’s plans, I wouldn’t have stepped back and let him woo for you.”

“It’s not your fault, only mine,” you sniffled, and wiped your eyes. “I wasn’t raised to become a wench. I decided to let him do this to me…”

“Y/N, you’re not a w-.” He shook his head. “Never use that word again,” he angrily said. “He was the one stealing the light from you. You’re still an innocent angel.”

“I know that I’m not,” you hid your face in his shoulder, allowing yourself to let the mask you wear so well slip. “You’ll get damaged goods, my Lord.”

“Call me James, or Bucky, my love,” he gently rubbed your back. “I promise, you are far from damaged goods for me. You are going to be my wife and I’ll love you. And the babe will get all my love too. They are going to mine.”

“What a beautiful pair, don’t you think?” Your mother asked. “She looks happy, my love.”

Your father smiled wildly as he watched you and your groom share the first dance. You smiled and laughed as Bucky twirled you around.

“I was worried about our daughter for a while. Prince Steven’s departure left her heartbroken,” the king held out his hand for his wife. “Let us join them and celebrate their union.”

The queen smiled and took your father’s offered hand. She didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth.

A mother always knows when her child is in need.

She will never break her promise to herself and tell her husband that she saw you at the river when Lord Barnes saved you, or that she heard what you confessed.

“He is a good man, my love,” the queen whispered. “Our beloved daughter couldn't find a better man.”

While everyone celebrated your wedding and danced, Steven stood in a corner, watching you and his best friend happy together.

He squared his jaw and balled his hands into fists. His heart dropped watching Margaret and your brother join you on the dance floor.

Everything he did was in vain…

Tags in reblog.

#steve rogers angst #bucky barnes #buckybarnesbingo2023 #steverogersbingo #anyfandomfluffbingo #prince!steve rogers #royal!bucky barnes #royal au #angst #tw: attempted suicide

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lovelytsunoda · 1 year ago

Text

tell me something girl (are you happy in this modern world) // tom “iceman” kazansky

summary: after thirty years of marriage, heather kazansky reflects on the time she spent and the love she shared with tom as she prepares to write her eulogy and say goodbye to her husband.

pairing: tom kazansky x wife!oc (named heather)

warnings: canon character death (Tom) and mentions of gooses death from the original movie, depictions of grief, mentions of mental health and medication,

authors note: this is the fic I firmly believe I was put on this earth to write. I wanted to do so much more with it, but honestly would have ended up with like 16k words or something like that.

April 2022, Miramar, California.

“is that the admirals wife?”

“jake, shut the fuck up.”

heather kazasnky had never thought of herself as an impressive woman. she always found herself timid, shy and a little anxious. it wasn’t until the first offshoots of gray started to sprout in her hair, and she’d watched all three of her children grow up that she truly thought sh had done something impressive with her life.

she sat alone at a table in the corner of the hard deck, oblivious to the wandering eyes of her husbands trainees as her slender fingers navigated the keyboard of her MacBook.

“heather?”

she started at the voice, cheeks marred with the flush of someone who had just been sobbing as she turned to look at the speaker.

“peter,” she hummed. “it’s good to see you, maverick.”

heather got to her feet, pulling the other pilot in for a tight hug. “nice to see you too, heather. how are you doing.”

“the best I can. the kids are supposed to be coming up tonight to help with the funerals.”

there were always going to be two funerals. the first was the formal military funeral, where her husband would be buried in the same cemetery as nick bradshaw, and the other was more like a reception, something more human and less structured. for the people who knew him not as admiral kazansky, but as tom.

“I miss him, mav. the house feels strange without him in it. I’ve spent so long being heather kazansky, I don’t know how to go back to being just heather.”

maverick shook his head, taking a seat next to her. “you’re still you, heather. you’re still a mother to three incredible kids, and grandmother to two.”

“with another on the way.” she coughed, somehow managing a smile. “joshua’s new girlfriend is expecting. he told tom before he died.”

“congratulations, heather. how are the kids doing?”

“as well as can be expected. as usual, mitchell is the glue holding us together. cassie’s a wreck. she always was her father’s daughter. and for it to happen so soon after she had jamie just seems cruel. tom was going to retire, did you know that? he was ready to put his papers in, we were going to go to greece. it was finally us time again. he gave so much of himself to this country, and I was so excited to finally have him back.”

pete rested a hand on heathers shoulder, squeezing it through the fur of her cardigan. she was strong despite her age, still well built and sturdy, face marred with laugh lines but not a single telltale old woman wrinkle. “I’m so sorry, heather.”

“thank you.”

she turned back to her laptop, showing the other pilot what she was doing. “I’m gathering pictures for the reception. but most of them are of me. tom always had his fucking camera with him. I should have let the kids do this part. all I’m doing is making myself cry.”

she cast her eyes back to her laptop screen, resisting the urge to reach out and run her finger over the photo, soaking in the good memories as they came flooding back. in the picture, she and tom stood on one side of the kitchen counter, laughing with each other as they cut gingerbread cookies.

it had been their first christmas together.

“oh my god,” maverick laughed. “is that iceman in a cable knit?”

“he was so nervous about meeting my dad for the first time. I had to talk him out of wearing his dress whites.”

December 1985, Richmond, Virginia.

they had been together for six months, give or take the few weeks his team had spent deployed in the gulf, and nothing had intimidated tom kazansky more than meeting his girlfriends father. he had wanted to wear his navy dress whites in an attempt to make a good impression before heather had laughed and made him change into jeans and a sweater before they left the apartment.

even then, he had changed sweaters four times before setting on the white cable knit he was currently wearing.

iceman knew how stressed his girl got during the holidays. her family could bring out the worst in her, and they were both highly strung when they walked in the door.

now, she was off to the side with her sister, cradling a mug of hot coco in her hands as she watched him with a smile, chuckling as he dropped a cup of flour down the front of his jeans.

“you really like him, don’t you?”

heather looked back at her sister, who raised her eyebrows as she took a sip of her hot chocolate.

“I do. I really do, abigail. he makes me feel like I’m worth loving, if that makes sense. everything with tom is just so…easy.”

abigail frowned. “he’s a lieutenant, isn’t he? that means he’s going to be deployed a lot. are you sure you can handle that?”

heather sighed, taking a sip of her drink. “we’re trying. he was out in the gulf for a few weeks in september, and we got through it.”

“he’s barely taken his eyes off you since you got here. and when he looks at you, I don’t see anything other than pure, unfiltered love. I bet he’s got a polaroid of you in his cockpit.”

heather laughed, a warm and giddy feeling in her chest. it was clear how much her family loved iceman, and how quickly they were welcoming him into the fold.

“you know I’m losing him for two months in the new year. he’s off to california, got into some fancy fighter jet training program.”

“you can still go see him, right?”

“yeah, I’ve got a few vacation days saved u- oh fuck.” heather cursed, thrusting her mug into abigail’s arms as she saw what her boyfriend was doing. “give me one second, I’ve gotta stop him from screwing up the gingerbread.”

she pushed up the sleeves of her jacquard sweater, socks skidding across the kitchen tiles as she loosely knotted her hair behind her head.

“kaz, sweetie, give me the rolling pin. you’ve gotta knead the dough.” she smiles softly, putting herself between the pilot and the counter.

one of tom’s flour coated hands came to rest as her waist, his chin on the top of her head as she watched her dip her hands into the bowl of flour, and proceed to knead the gingerbread dough by hand. her lovers hands came to rest over hers, his lips soft and warm against her skin as they kneaded the gingerbread dough together.

“see, you don’t always know everything, lieutenant.” she hummed giddily, running her thumb over his wrist.

“yeah, but I know I love you, and that’s all I need.” Tom laughed, gently using his finger to guide her head towards his and placing a soft kiss on her lips.

April 2022, Miramar, California.

heather paused, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "i loved that man so much, pete."

the hard deck was getting busier, off-duty pilots and seamen flooding in from the base at miramar as shifts changed for the day. heather knew all about the dagger squad and the hazy series of events that brought pete mitchell back to the academy, often having to speak for her husband in meetings once his first cancer operation had left him unable to speak for himself.

"auntie heather!" a familiar face looked over from the pool table. bradley bradshaw was a spitting image of his father, right down to the way that his moustache was trimmed.

for heather, it sometimes felt like seeing a ghost.

"brad!" she perked up, waving him over to the table. "how are you?"

when she first came to visit her husband at miramar, somethign about carole bradshaw had pulled heather in. she hadn't known the bradshaw's long, but by the time that goose's accident happened, she felt like she had known that family her whole life.

she did what she could to help carole out afterwards, especially when it came to raising bradley, but as rooster got older and time flew by, it was so easy for carole and heather to fall out of touch.

"you look just like your dad." she hummed, hugging the pilot. "it's like seeing nick again."

bradley nodded solemnly. "i was sorry to hear about admiral kazansky."

"thank you. it had been a long time coming, but there's no way to properly prepare to lose the man you love."

rooster gestures to the group behind him, the mismatched group of people coming to meet him at the table. “aunt heather, I’d like you to meet the dagger squad: jake, natasha, robert, reuben and javy. we knew the admiral well.”

“hi.” heather said weakly, introducing herself. “I’m heather, the admirals wife. or, widow, I guess. I’m still not used to saying that.”

“are you getting ready for the funeral?” jake asked, promptly getting jabbed in the rib cage by natasha.

“what hangman means to say is: we all respected your husband very much, and we would be honoured to help you plan his memorial service.” phoenix corrected, taking heathers hand between both of her own.

“thank you for the offer, natasha.” heather smiled. “bradley, I want to show you something.”

she sat back in front of her laptop, using the touchscreen to pull up a video taken the first summer she came to visit miramar. she had timed the visit to coincide with her birthday, a small selfish part of her unable to fathom spending her birthday without tom.

bradley pulled up a chair next to the table, watching as the screen crackled to life, the date stamp in the corner reading june of 1986. they were inside the o bar, the video opening with heather resting her head on tom’s shoulder, then panning over to the massive birthday cake and sparklers set in front of her. carole bradshaw sat on one side of her, and charlie blackwood was at the head of the table, sitting next to maverick.

“is that my mom?” Bradley smiled fondly. “she looks so full of life.”

“she was.” heather laughed. “and you might remember charlie, she was one of mavericks many lovers.”

“hey!” pete scoffed. “things just didn’t work out.”

“she was always too good for you, pete.” heather laughed, pointing to another space on the screen. the group was singing happy birthday, supported by a rockabilly piano backing track. “bradley, there’s your dad.”

goose was sitting in front of the grand piano, a toothpick hanging between his teeth as he hammered away at the ivory keys, aviator glasses over his eyes.

“happy birthday dear heather, happy birthday to you.”

the camera panned back to heather and tom as she blew out the cake candles. tom pulled her in to a soft kiss while the rest of the table cheered, and then the video cut to black.

“mitchell has been digitizing all of this stuff for us. I caught tom watching our wedding videos before he died.”

“remember when slider and wolfman got absolutely shitfaced at your wedding and tripped down the reception stairs?” maverick laughed to himself “did anybody ever get that on video?”

heather shook her head, a bright smile on her tear stained face as she hunted through the original wedding folder. “I’ve got you one better.”

September 1987, Monterrey, California.

mrs. heather kazansky. she could get used to that.

she was sitting with her sister and tom’s parents, the former two who were conversing with each other in polish. she twirled her wedding band on her finger, face flushed and spirits high as she looked on at her husband.

tom was with maverick and slider, the group of aviators dressed in their best white uniforms, beer bottles lifted high as they drunkenly hollered the words to an old rod stewart song.

“and I know your name is rita, because your perfume smells sweeter.”

abigail was filming, zooming the camera lens in on heather as she asked: “are you sure you don’t wanna back out now? till death do you part, you’re bound to this dumbass now.”

heather laughed, playfully smacking at the camera. “yes, I’m sure!”

“stay with me, come on stay with me!”

sliders voice was three decibels louder than everybody else, and he was also significantly drunker. one of the bridesmaids had her eyes on him, and there wasn’t a doubt in anybody’s mind that ron kerner would have somebody in his bed that night.

iceman’s face was flushed, his arm thrown around maverick as they rocked on their feet, skin sweaty and hair mussed.

but in the midst of all this chaos, he still managed to look over at his new wife, blowing her the softest kiss. she smiled, catching the kiss in her hands and pressing it to her heart, a moment her sister was able to capture frame for frame on digital video.

tom had watched the video hundreds of times as he sat alone in his office, struggling to come to terms with the fact that he’d be leaving not just the love of his life, but his three beautiful children as well.

April 2022. Miramar, California.

“that’s the kind of love that people only dream about.” natasha smiled softly. “you’re lucky you got to spend as much time with him as you did. most couples don’t make it as long as you guys did.”

heather smiled shakily, reaching for her drink. she’d left the sprite so long that the ice had half melted, condensation dripping down the glass.

“he was so good with the kids, you know. I was on and off depressed for a while after joshua was born. my mental health had never been perfect and I was on a low dose anti-anxiety medication for a long time. but after Josh was born, everything just got so much harder and I could barley get out of bed in the mornings. tom would take the kids to school, make their lunches. he was teaching full time at top gun by then, so he took a few days off to stay with me, make me feel like myself again.”

“he was a good man.” robert smiled, rubbing her shoulder.

“yeah, he was.” heather bit her bottom lip, pulling a photo up on her laptop that had the dagger squad letting out a chorus of ‘awe’s’

the picture was taken in 1989. tom was dressed in a gray waffle knit shirt, a pair of pit viper sunglasses on his forehead as he held a smiling baby in his arms. mitchell’s wide eyes looked up at his dad, his tiny fingers wrapped around in of tom’s larger ones.

his name was mitchell ronald kazansky, because tom had made a lame bet with maverick and slider (that he lost) and had to name his firstborn after both of them (because he was a fucking idiot at times, but she loved him anyways).

the boys were both easy children, but cassandra? she was a daddy’s girl through and through, and tom would have moved heaven and earth for his little girl. whatever cassie wanted, she often got, well into adulthood even. she was the spitting image of her father, from her honey blonde hair right down to the birthmark on the underside of her jaw.

when tom walked her down the aisle at her wedding three years ago, he cried all the way to the altar. but not half as much as he sobbed when he held his granddaughter for the first time, cancer-stricken and barely able to speak, but still brimming with joy as he held jamie to his chest.

“he lead a good life. one he was proud of. he used his last words to tell me as much.” heather choked out, overwhelmed by emotions. “I just wish we’d had more time.”

pete placed his hand over hers, squeezing it reassuringly as natasha rubbed her back, and rooster gently squeezed her shoulder.

there was still so much love that heather kazansky still had to give.

still so much love that she was surrounded by.

and maybe that was tom’s way, even from the grave, to tell her that everything would still be alright.

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @httpiastri @sidcrosbyspuck @twinkodium @sidcrosbyspuck @oconso @thatsdemko @lorarri

#top gun x reader #top gun imagine #tom iceman kazansky x reader #tom kazansky x reader #top gun fanfic #tom kazansky #tom iceman kazansky imagine #top gun (1986)#top gun fanfiction #iceman x reader

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