#until u hit the shortcuts but even then you get WHY you want shortcuts bc they make you use the definition of a derivative first

[lilacandladybugs]

sometimes i ask my math professors why we're doing a certain thing and i dont know how to explain that i dont mean "this has no real world applications>:(" i mean what are the math applications?

it was such an exciting moment for me when i realized that since combinations/permutations are ways to find how things can be arranged, and probability is just the ways we can get something we're interested in over all the ways we could get something(want/all), combinations and permutations give us ways to find more complicated probabilities without being able to individually list all possible combinations by hand. so the "why are we doing this" for combinations/permutations is "so we can take more complicated probabilities later on". (It's also the basis for the binomial distribution!!)

without being able to understand the direction we're going with an idea it feels like a random exercise instead of the doorway to understanding more complex mathematical ideas and it also makes me feel like i don't understand how all the pieces of the class fit together.

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

I've been thinking about him for some time already (YOU KNOW WHO...) and I think. he's just Like That ™. the gentleman killer. Haskillcore boring old man stuff enjoyer that spends weekends reading newspapers and philosophy books. looks down on people that lack manners. DOES want to serve for the best of his abilities and be appreciated. But ALSO I get the vibes... that he's the way he is because he's a shitty wizard.

HEAR ME OUT... It was just a joke at first but his fiasco with messing the most basic spell and being thrown out of the train..... I feel like he, in fact, can be incompetent wizard and that can fuck him up SO BADLY... like inferiority complex... I can imagine him being young & dreaming of becoming a great wizard & failing painfully. So now he compensates it with self-taught magic and dark arts (his necromancy interest). “dark magic is just misunderstood, not evil"...

I also get vibes from him of being bullied? I would take away his lunch yk. And now he allows people to walk over him and it's not just a job thing he's just like that. Until the moment he snaps. And murder may be the way for him to feel being in-control, which he usually lacks. Feel like he hass power. He doesn't feel nor act like purple guy jeff the killer (he's too old for that) but. Sometimes he thinks “It would be nice to kill someone right now. I also need cash. Hmm.” and that's now it happens. Maybe he feels alive when he does that, but it's only in-moment feeling that doesn't stay. I feel like he's pretty sensitive and can say when he feels bad(offended) or good(proud), but doesn't really have emotional intelligence? The feelings are there, what to do with them? who knows. not him. he goes out on the streets at night. depreesion)

I think he knows a lot about magic and artifacts (found out about the relic by private investigation or smth) but he can't use that intformation himself! what a shame! I get the vibes that he can be almost . cursed . to be a bad wizard. he's probably not but it just feels that way. so many potential in such cringefail loser (/affectionate). and he knows that and mourns that! what does he do with his life!

I rotate him in my mind he's so interesting what is wrong with him . . .

NODS VIGOROUSLY ALONG WITH YOUR POINTS im sitting here taking notes for my fic fr!! i actually hit on a lot of the same conclusions you did which makes me so happy, but one of the main differences was i thought he might actually be a good wizard, BUT i think your reading that he's ACTUALLY just a shitty wizard is more interesting character-wise....

like you said "he knows a lot about magic and artifacts but he can't use that intformation himself" <- YESSS. i think the exact way that he's shitty is that he definitely has the theoretical knowledge, but he can't apply it for shit. <3 like at the end of rockport limited he clearly knew the flame spell he was going to use, he just... fucking misses by a country mile LMFAO, even the meat monsters seem a little cobbled-together, like he knows the the theory but there's little finesse in the execution.

"he's the way he is because he's a shitty wizard." <- OK BC THIS BASIS IS SO GOOD. hes got so much ambition but no talent, and that informs everything about him!! - it's my headcanon that he grew up lower-middle class, and i think combining that with being bullied and being bad at magic contributed to an inferiority complex. and he likes refined things precisely because he likes the image of himself as this powerful refined (rich) person when he's really just grasping at it desperately :)))

aaand i think the dark arts provide shortcuts to power for the price of sacrificing another living thing, SO FOR JENKINS, who was a shitty wizard and an asshole who's totally willing to sacrifice people for power, it suited him perfectly :)))))))

not to mention all the points u brought up abt why he kills are so good. i think it's firstly a practicality thing (he needs the money, like u said), but then secondarily an outlet for his anger (he's a bit emotionally unintelligent like u also said lol). i think he learned how to deal with this simmering hatred in the exact wrong way, where he bottles it up during the day when ppl push him around and then lets it out during his murders. instead of yknow... learning to not let ppl push him around, and manage his anger and deal with it less destructively SDFLSDFKJ. and it became a cycle. so now he's a serial murderer cos he's into this repress-release pattern, someone get this man into therapy or get him a boyfriend who can fix him !!

AND... okok final point bc its getting a bit long. "so many potential in such cringefail loser (/affectionate). and he knows that and mourns that! what does he do with his life!" <- YES. perhaps even. he is not cut out to be a wizard..... he clearly has ambition, and good taste, and a flair for the dramatic, and mental problems, which means. of course. he is perfectly suited for the theater--//SHOT

[leaughrilke]

(wriggles eyebrows) superbabies at hogwarts

BRUH

so kara’s a muggle born hufflepuff and lena’s a pure blood slytherin (who like......easily could have gone to ravenclaw if she wasnt so terrified of what lillian would say or do if she didn’t end up in the luthor’s typical house) and they’re p sure the kiddos are going to have magic (like 90% on finn and maia??  stella’s a lil more murky bc they’re p sure that her birth mom was a witch but its not as if they’ve got like.......Offical Records on her or anything)

so finn and maia show magic p early??  from like toddlers tbh so they’re expecting their letters and then stella’s like nine and hasn’t shown any inclination to magic and she’s starting to ask when she’ll get her letter, if she can get a cat for a pet instead of an owl like finn and maia did and like??  they’ll obviously love her exactly as they always have but like they’re like lowkey worried she’ll be destroyed if she doesn’t get a letter

so they’re gearing up to sit down with her and talk to her about the possibility of her maybe not having magic and then one day she sneezes and sets the curtains on fire

so

finn!!!  is the first, the oldest, and he like straight up cries when his letter comes bc he’s so excited??  but he’s also dreading being away from his moms, being away from his sisters, but kara wraps him up in a big hug and tells him all about how scared and sad she was when she got her letter, how much she desperately didnt want to go but she went and it was amazing and he’s going to have a wonderful time, she knows it.  

the whole family goes to diagon alley and like the kiddos have been before, kara and lena take them p regularly for ice cream or for birthdays or hell just for funsies but now it’s Big and Important

his wand is alder, unyielding, with unicorn hair as the core.  twelve inches even and like.......when he matches with it he literally makes flowers grow in every nook and cranny of ollivanders and stella’s literally six but she’s so entirely entranced, so finn just sort of thinks flowers and then she’s got a little bloom behind her ear, braided into her hair and she’s grinning and maybe she finally stops crying at the thought of her big brother going off to school for the year

meanwhile maia’s pretending like she’s not at all upset about this, bc she’s excited for finn??  she is!!!  but he’s her best friend and she’s not ready to lose him for nine months out of the year, but by the time they make it to the owl shop, she’s grinning and talking about what type of owl she thinks finn ought to get, what type of owl she’ll get bc she’s not pleased with finn’s final choice (a small, sleek little barn owl that he stares at and finally decides to name spock bc he’s a nerd just like lena tbh)

so he goes!!!!!  and he is a hufflepuff!!!!!  a giant soft sweet hufflepuff!!!!!!!  kara sends him her old scarf from when she was in school when he gets sorted, sends a rlly embarrassing howler that’s basically her and lena just crying and saying they’re so proud of him, they love him so much, call home as soon as you can and tell us everything! and he’s blushing a little bit but his house is full of kids with similar howlers and they’re all blushing a little, all making bashful eye contact with one another

and jesus does he belong in hufflepuff like.  he is so happy, like he’s homesick for the first few weeks??  but it helps that lena does guest lectures for muggle studies on how magic and muggle technology can be combined, helps that he can see one of his moms every few weeks or so, helps that he has a smartphone bc this is the 21st century and he’s able to facetime his family a lot.  but once the homesickness passes, once he falls into the rhythm of hogwarts, he just begins to belong u know??  like he makes friends across the board, in every house, in every year, often volunteers down in the infirmary when there’s need

jesus he writes his sisters so many letters bc they’re still young enough that getting mail is like A Thing.  like??  he asks his moms for a camera, just so he can send maia a picture of the giant squid in the lake bc she’s so fascinated by it, just so he can send stella a series of photos of the quidditch matches his new friends bring him out to bc she watches the matches on tv and is so entranced

so his first year is so awesome and quite frankly so is his second year and then!!!!!!  it’s his third year and maia’s coming and he legit cannot wait, like he knows all the secret passages and shortcuts and which house elf (no longer kept, but actually employed by the school !!!  bc mcfuck off thats why) is the easiest to persuade for a midnight snack and he cant wait to share that all with maia

so maia!!!!  she gets her letter and she literally screams, scares the fuck out of her moms and siblings but she’s like FUCK YES WHERE’S MY WAND WHERE’S MY GIANT SCREECH OWL SOMEONE GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE FROGS TO CELEBRATE like she’s been counting down the days to hogwarts since finn got his letter

her wand!!!  is dogwood with dragon heartstring, rigid, twelve and a quarter inches and is a bit, well.  it looks like a branch with a handle tbh but its kind of wild??  like a thing of nature and the minute it hits maia’s hand, she’s enthralled and there’s like a hum in the air??  like something’s clicked into place and she’s READY like hand her some SPELLS lets get this MAGIC HAPPENING

and she gets her giant ass screech owl, names it gene simmons bc why not (genie for short, obviously), gets her books and her supplies and asks if they can stop by weasley’s to grab a few things and her moms set her with a look and kara’s like maia you can’t prank any of the professors and lena’s like on that subject, you can’t prank any of your housemates until at least second term and maia’s kind of like fiiiiinnneeee but definitely slips in a few things that are definitely prank-worthy and grins when her moms pointedly look in the other direction as theyre paying

so then she gets to hogwarts and she’s sitting under the sorting hat for a solid ten minutes as it hems and haws between sorting her into gryffindor or ravenclaw and she’s a little sad she’s not even being considered for finn’s house, but she also knows she’d never fit in there, not ever.  and this goes on for a bit bc maia’s wildly smart, and she loves learning but she’s also hard headed and reckless and intensely committed to the idea of justice, fairness, always steps up to a fight, never away.  so FINALLY the sorting hat calls out GRYFFINDOR and then maia’s swept up in the celebration, catches finn’s eye as he gives her the biggest proud big brother smile and a thumbs up (meanwhile he’s secretly facetiming kara and lena so they can see this and what, they’re totally not crying)

and kara, secret old lady that she is, tries to knit maia a gryffindor scarf but its kind of terrible so they also buy her one but (and maia will never admit this) she sleeps with the fucked up one kara made her, tucked up next to her ratty old teddy bear from when she was a baby.  

what??  it makes her feel safe, reminds her of home

so she doesnt have that same adjustment period as finn did??  like she’s not super sad for the first few weeks, its more protracted than that, lasts a little longer but doesnt hit as hard, and it’s a lot of help that finn’s there, pulls her over to eat at his table when she doesnt have friends to eat with the first few days, who invites her round to his common room to eat the sweets their moms have sent them and to catch up on tv on his laptop.  but mostly???  she loves hogwarts.  she LOVES it

she excels at potions, in the same way that finn excels at herbology, great at defense against the dark arts, and shit if she’s not even better dueling, like she gets an actual invitation to join the dueling club on parchment and everything

and like???  she’s on the choir and gets her friends to dare her to explore the forbidden forest and quite frankly she’s having the time of her life

and then little stella!!!!!  she gets her owl and like.  just stares at it for a bit, trying to believe its real and then lena’s coming downstairs and sees stella sitting in front of the big kitchen window and sees what she’s staring at and shes like !!!!!  stella!!!!  cmon sweetheart, lets go get that letter!!!!  and stella’s so???  happy????  like its been weird like she’s basically been an only child in the three years since maia went to hogwarts, been on her own and now she’ll be back with her siblings and she’s so so happy oh my god

she very nearly cries when she finds her wand bc she takes the longest of all the kiddos.  no wand feels right, feels like home and she’s nearly at her wits end with it, just about to say nevermind, take me home and then, well, she finds it.  its pine, supple, fourteen and a half inches long with a dragon heartstring; god, it looks a little ridiculous when ollivander hands it to her, almost like its too long for such a small girl but then she’s holding it, then a hush is falling over the room and then there’s just light, everywhere and it feels right???  feels good, grounded

and she picks out a little black kitten!!!  its the runt of the litter and maia kind of knocks her shoulder and says awwww just like you and their moms fix her with a look but stella’s smiling, nodding, saying that one, i want that one and that’s the end of that

what does she name the cat, you ask?  well

she names it carmilla bc she’s a giant baby lesbian ok, like hell she didnt sneak the novella from lena’s bookshelf and struggle through it only to watch the series and then develop an as of yet unnamed crush on carmilla

so she finally gets to hogwarts, kind of terrified (she cried a lot on the train, only sort of soothed by her siblings refusing to go sit with their friends, instead squishing into the same bench and playing sudoku with her) but finn’s grinning at her from the hufflepuff table and maia’s giving her this steady look like you got this from gryffindor and stella’s like???  ok.  i’ll be happy in either of those houses

but then the sorting hat barely touches her hair before its screaming SLYTHERIN and stella’s like um what. 

this isnt to say any of the kiddos have that assbackwards belief that slytherin = evil bc like??  lena was slytherin and yeah, there’s some shit tied up with that but she did truly have a decent time and aunt alex was slytherin too and she’s good, the greatest, like none of them have grown up with that messed up idea

but at the same time stella’s like um.  i am the softest bitch here.  what the fuck bc while she knows slytherins arent evil, she also knows her mom and aunt alex, knows there’s an edge to slytherins that she can’t hope to ever match???  like ambition??  cunning/??  bitch WHERE

but its done, she’s sorted and she’s kind of in shock and most of slytherin is as well, kind of looking at her and then looking back to her siblings, kind of like???  the fuck????  the danvers kids are like........the Softest.  why do we have this one????  and maia’s the first to holler her name, whoop and clap and stamp her feet and celebrate her baby sister getting sorted and then finn’s joining and then the whole of slytherin is doing the same and stella kind of smiles a little bc when she sits down, the girl next to her gives her this appraising look then sticks out her hand and says i’m ari, we’re friends now before shoving a plate of food at her

and lena’s like???  worried that stella doesnt want to be in slytherin but also incredibly proud and excited???  like shit, ok, all my weird trivia abt the slytherin dorms can finally come in handy and she digs out all her old stuff, packs it up with a weepy howler that’s literally her and kara just crying about how much they love and miss stella and stella literally wears that scarf basically every cold day for the rest of her life tbh

stella feels the homesickness more??  like a Lot more, bc she had a lot more one on one time with kara and lena after maia left, isnt used to not being around them in the slightest and she’s kind of inconsolable for a while after lena’s lectures, but maia sometimes sneaks her into the gryffindor dorms so she doesnt have to feel so alone at night and that helps a lot, helps that she finds some good friends p early on as well

OH SHIT it also helps that stella’s like.  terrifyingly good at transfiguration and charms, and, later, divination and legilimancy (heh u see what i did there).  probably also helps that she’s scary good at most curses and hexes like.........she’ll Fuck U Up.  maia fights with her fists but stella doesnt hesitate to use her wand.  like ppl are a lil tiny bit scared of her but she’s tiny and adorable and v sweet, sweet enough that most ppl get over their fear p quickly

so the kiddos do alright??  finn never joins the quidditch team even though kara played and he’s never quite as fond of flying as stella; in fact, its only stella that joins quidditch for anything longer than one season, as a chaser (stella MAY be a little bit of an adrenaline junkie and MAY have the time of her life dodging bludgers).  maia joins as a beater for one season when gryffindor’s normal beater came down with dragon pox and had to go home to recuperate but she quits at the end of the season bc she hits a bludger that ends up knocking stella off her broom and like.......Fuck That ya know

hmmmmmm what shenanigans do they get up to 

well finn’s like every professors favorite student like he’s there on time and prepared for class every day and god help every professor the day maia comes to hogwarts like they’re all expecting another mild mannered danvers kiddo (like??  even their moms were so well behaved.........that said.  it shouldnt be a surprise bc alex was hell on wheels) but then maia sweeps into her first class, probably trailing glitter or something equally dramatic and like.  professor snapper looks like he wants to die tbh.  like just drop dead

i dont blame him tbh, maia is also hell on wheels, like constantly calling teachers out when they fuck up and starting fights when some punk kid starts saying shit about blood traitors like hey.  fuck u buddy

so then after maia’s torn through, everyone’s a lil cautious with stella but she’s like........a small bunny or something.  a small bunny that could probably murder you with some tricky non-verbal magic but a small bunny nonetheless 

finn’s a prefect and eventually head boy!!!  like he’s so proud of that and his sisters roll their eyes but theyre proud of him too and maybe kara and lena just.........dont shut up about how their son is head boy, their eldest daughter got an o in potions, how their youngest was the first in her class to cast a patronus charm successfully like they’re B R I M M I N G with pride tbh

hmmmm what else what else

finn goes on to be a healer!!  one of the best at st. mungos, the one you’d want caring for you after you’ve been blasted with some curse or the other.  maia first works for the ministry, in their muggle science department, but then decides to train as an auror (like why not, she’s got the grades and the grit for it).  stella bounces around for a bit before eventually opening her own little shop in diagon alley.  it’s a bit of an odds and ends sort of shop, somewhere halfway between an antique shop and a toy store tbh

and maybe she helps out on some of maia’s raids/cases

its not like there’s anyone more qualified to help, she is one of the foremost experts in legilimancy