#until it harms the child

[elodieunderglass]

Kids also don’t have a huge amount of experience in anything, and it’s a parent’s job to teach them. This sounds incredibly obvious, doesn’t it?

Before a family Christmas celebration, when all five of us happened to be lounging around together, I announced we were playing PRESENT PRACTICE. I wrapped a toy frying pan in a muslin cloth and handed it to a child, who unwrapped it and mimed amazement. The older children and their father were all awarded points for their simulated appreciation and the baby got points just for learning to unwrap something. On the second pass we all leveled up to making a grateful comment in reaction to the particular gift, such as “this will go in my collection of frying pans” and “now I can cook one very small egg.”

For the six year old, I very seriously presented the important and tricky case study of unwrapping a large exciting box to find a single pair of socks. The child suggested a reaction of “this is great, how surprising! But,” their face changing to seriousness and the tone of giving the giftee useful feedback for the future, “I’m not very interested in socks.” They explained the utility of passing on this feedback. So, this being present practice, I received this reaction with the grace and thoughtful attention of an award-winning director, and we discussed how we would leave that part out for our more sensitive audiences.

The children also traditionally give small cheap or handmade presents to their family members. Each parent takes each child secretly in hand to prepare a present for the other parent. The six-year-old also has access to the PTA school shop, where the PTA purchase small shitty items (scented candles, bars of soap, cheap socks) and sell them to the schoolkids for £1.50 each, and wrap them on the spot. The 6-year-old carefully squeezes the value from the £10 we give them for this purpose, and squirrels away their mysterious bag of wrapped gifts like it’s a state secret. The three year old is given “pocket money,” and taken shopping. There is now emotional investment in giving; we whisper together quietly about how much people will like the gift. The three year old frequently whispers hotly into my ear about the item they chose for their grandmother (a tissue cover, lmao). The children, therefore, watch adults carefully when their own offerings are unwrapped and admired. When they see us reacting with amazement and gratitude to their gifts, it maps that pathway and lights it up. It also teaches pretty early on that giving is actually supposed to be rewarding, and is a more reliable source of cheer - as you can always control the feeling giving, while getting is tiresomely at the whim of an external giver, isn’t it? And it reinforces that a certain degree of social performance is expected.

Present Practice is a fun game to play so the kids do it to each other. It’s a funny trick to play on a parent, too. You can hand a parent something hilarious, like a potato wrapped in toilet paper, and see them try to do a Level 3 reception on it (“this will be my favorite ever potato,” I say mistily, “how did you guess what was in my heart?”)

For high-pressure present-opening situations, you can just sit back and watch, really. Even when I had to let them open USA-grandparent Christmas presents over Zoom AT the house of the British Grandparents. The children spontaneously decided to receive presents in the guise of angels. I was giving the kids wild thumbsups from behind the camera as they warmly enthused over the sentiments in the cards before even looking at the gift.

Does it sound artificial? Well, they have fun, and they’re kind, and they love giving and receiving. They’re nice and well behaved - and people love to give them presents. It’s all social performance! and you’re expecting super high-level software to run on Kid Hardware, which is like trying to program Plant Pathology 101 onto a border collie! Kind of an unfair expectation on the framework, mate!

I’d suggest the first port of call is literally - teaching kids how to get presents.

"Look at this video of a child disappointed at their expensive gift! Children are so spoiled these days!"

That's cool. So, why did their parents upload their small child being upset online? In a public video, shared to the entire video? Why did they even save the recording?

Like. The kid in that scenario could be saying the most entitled nonsense in the world, and if their parents post it online to be publicly shamed, I'd still support the kid 100%. Thinking your child's life is a toy to exploit freely for #content is "spoiled"; when faced with mommy vlogers, kids should be demanding three PS5s and a new Bugatti, and we should be applauding them for it

[pwurrz]

being obsessed with yakumo is a job and baby i’ve never called in a sick day!!!!!

[pens-and-paperbacks]

Endeavor is almost a perfect allegory for what the society in the mha universe does to people who can't be heroes or use their quirks in a way to benefit society, which is cast them aside or pass them over without over giving them a second glance until uh-oh! Suddenly they're worth being noticed because they're a threat.

He apologizes to his family, which is good! If you're a bad person and did terrible things, the first step in your own transformation and atonement should be to acknowledge what you've done and to apologize to those you've wronged. Great!

Thing is, Endeavor set off a chain reaction with his abusive, neglectful and downright irresponsible choices that it damaged everyone in his family for life.

I don't think someone who causes one of their own children to literally go up in flames, crying because they're finally getting attention from their father and family in the very end, ever deserves to be forgiven.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

just remembered that for some definition of self harm I've self harmed almost all of my life... just not in ways that led to scarring, not until the last year.

[eenochian]

the way this fandom treats characters is astounding. like y’all do realize that every single character is shitty, right? literally every last one. your blorbo is not an exception. no, “but my fave—” no exceptions. literally the only character that i can’t think of any issues with off the top of my head is farah.

[swordmaid]

thalia is so growing on me i love my rich woman who has Problems.. i gave her ice powers for like. the elsa vibes.

[aroace-number-eight]

Drawing Five according to his canonical UaO epilogue description is so messy and saddening because there's so much to account for that got him physically fucked up and you know the writers were hammering in this whole disfigurement as punishment thing with him

Because first you have the eye hole where Marina pierced him, and I'm not sure if he's still wearing that gauze eye patch on the island because eventually it'll get dirty and he'll have to toss it

Then you have the scar marks from when Setrákus Ra clawed right through his metal skin "like butter" and it's not mentioned whether those marks are still there or they disappeared when he returned to his flesh skin (and it's doubtful those were healed at all, we don't even know if Marina had a proper visit and talked to him and possibly healed those away)

Then you have the goop that created some patchy spots all over his skin and show up all web-like on him

And then how it's implied he starved on the island because he lost weight so fast and is described to have flaps of skin on his arms and torso and a body so skinny you could see an outline of his ribs and spine

Bro he has so much physical trauma on him, like they did the most on him and left it like that till the very end

[dutybcrne]

Most people would figure Kaeya to be a pretty crier, but in reality that’s either bc 1) He’s using crocodile tears to get what he wants or 2) he’s cut himself off before he ACTUALLY starts crying

[oblisker]

i feel like something people don’t understand is that mayor holiday could easily be a generally bad and unlikable person while also holding nuance—this isn’t to say she won’t have any redeeming traits, but a character has the ability to be nuanced and 3 dimensional while simultaneously just… being generally unlikable and/or a bad person. example: azula, from avatar—personally i like her a lot as a character but does that mean i think she’s a good person or someone i’d like to meet? no. same with akito from fruits basket

she can also be sympathetic while… being generally unlikable! it’s possible! she can be abusive and cold and rude and also well written with explanations behind her actions and believable psychology. i trust toby fox to make a character like that, or even better! read tags for more rant

[churchyardvampire]

I'm very tired of ppl being like "oh x isn't an elder sibling if they didn't take care of the younger siblings" glad yall had younger siblings who liked you. mine told me to kill myself and was used as a pawn in my dad's abuse of me

[mentalmeles]

I just want to tear myself apart bit by bit.

[thenarator]

I have to say, as a disabled person, Prince of Heroes makes me emotional with how much you nail the disabled allegory with Quirkless Izuku / Izuku wanting to be a Quirkless hero.

also I loved when izuku told gran torino the point isn't to cause harm .

thank you so much for saying so. i first started writing fanfiction for this fandom because this show had such potential as a disability metaphor that just wasn't realized. when bnha became my special interest i had recently come out of the hospital and was facing down the reality of not being able to work, possibly not ever, which would mean i had to move back home and leave the life i tried to make for myself in grad school. i needed a story about a disabled character who succeeds, not despite his disability, but despite everyone telling him he could never amount to anything. bnha promised to be that story in episode one, and stole it away again in episode three. i was heartbroken, and turning to the fandom for stories where izuku stayed quirkless, i was met with nothing but stories about how he had to lower his expectations in order to be more realistic.

i wrote "heroics and other things that don't require superpowers" because i needed a story where a disabled character receives support and care for the first time, and is finally able to achieve his dreams.

i wrote "prince of heroes" because i needed a story where a disabled character achieves his dreams despite receiving no support or care from authority figures, but only from his friends.

as for what i'll write when i'm done with "prince of heroes"? well, i guess we'll see what i need then.

[notsooriginaltrash]

One of the most gut punching things that has happened in 2023 so far is my childhood best friend of maybe 15+years who knows very well that I self-harm coming to me for advice how to deal with it for some random girl, despite never asking how to help me

[giantkillerjack]

Hey remember that time Tim Burton said that he doesn't include Black characters as leads because it would be too "politically correct"? They just don't fit his "vision", guys! Unless they're villains. Obviously. 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 /s (Apparently, this is the case so far in the Wednesday show.)

So yeah. This movie here by Jordan "one of the best filmmakers alive" Peele and Henry "the guy who actually directed Nightmare Before Christmas" Selleck being one of the best animated movies to come out in years is so awesome on so many levels:

Kat as a Black alt girl - fuck anyone who says they don't exist! Of course they do! and they're punk as hell! In fact, this specific scene highlights exactly how fucking punk she is: It has been firmly established that HER REBELLION HAS REAL AND SEVERE POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES beyond just dirty looks from preppy kids. If she is expelled, she goes back to prison. This child arrives at school in chains. And she STILL does this within minutes of arriving because she has a strength of identity that she won't let anyone take away from her. WHAT COULD BE MORE PUNK THAN THAT????

Genuinely anti-fascist messaging (Disney would NEVER) and a direct commentary on the prison industrial complex (hey, Tim! have your films had anything important to say, like... ever? Just checking, cause I know you got that incurable progressive mediocrity disease. 😭 Poor bb.)

Excellent comedy! (It's Key and Peele, baby!)

James Hong is there and he is great.

Wonderful and dynamic character/set design!

An interpretation of healing from trauma that was so beautiful I wept.

An extremely sexy giant demon DILF lord!

Original songs!

A FAT FEMALE CHARACTER WHO IS A COOL BADASS WHILE REPRESENTING SUPPORT BETWEEN GENERATIONS OF BLACK WOMEN??? WHAT?!!?!! YES!!!!!!! (hey real quick, everyone! Name the first 10 badass fat female characters that come to your mind! Oh what's that? It's taking you a while to think of even 5???? SO WEIRD. Okay then just name a couple fat Tim Burton characters who aren't villains. Oh?? THERE'S LITERALLY NONE??? HOW FUCKIN' STRANGE)

And let's not forget, THE FIRST TRANS BOY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A MOVIE!!!! RAUL IS A MAIN CHARACTER WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND HIS AGENCY IS INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 he's perfect and his Hispanic heritage is not only much-needed representation, but it is also relevant to the beautiful artwork he makes in the style of pre-colonial Latin American religious imagery!

Raul's art stands in direct contrast to the grim cold aesthetic of the Catholic Church. (Disney would NEVER) Which IS in other movies I've seen.... so long as the non-Christian imagery represents an ancient evil that highlights the nobility and necessity of the Church for crushing Pagan religions. This is the FIRST TIME I've ever seen an inversion of that trope and it RULES.

Anyway this movie is so good and everyone needs to know about it.

Wendell & Wild (2022)

Bad things happen to people I’m close to... They die.

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Do u think Theon has a gambling addiction

[plague-of-insomnia]

And antis wonder why we’re constantly shouting about censorship and freedom of expression and how it *always* targets minorities and queer folk first.

"I've read much spicier things on Ao3" is a common thing I hear about my work, and my polite response is usually, "That's because Ao3 is non-profit and heavily anti-censorship, and authors won't lose their source of income for writing about fucked up gay tentacle porn in the Algorithm finds them." (or if someone reports them. Because yeah, that's a thing people do too. The snitches.)

The annoying thing is you'll find heterosexual erotica in abundance on Amazon. Hell, you'll find it in the Romance genre.

But if you're writing sweet queer media? Fuck you, better hope the person doing approvals that day isn't a cunting homophobe.

And it's not just the Zon doing this. It's all of them.

We're in the bad place.