#unnecessary angst my beloved

[rqgnarok]

Could you write about Jamie and the reader dating but one night when they’re out at a club or something the reader sees a fan kissing Jamie?!

Jamie elbows and pushes his way through the crowd, the music so loud he feels it in his teeth and the lights dark to set the mood of the club. It's been a while since he's gone out to places like this, but he just scored three goals against Tottenham and not celebrating with his mates and his girl seemed unfathomable.

His girl. His girl who's running away from him, who can't bear to be in the same room as him. Jamie's panic grows tenfold.

He catches up to her, calling her name, fighting the discomfort in his belly when she tries to shake off his grip, eyes watery. Trying to reach for her again, cradling her arms in his hands reminds him a little too much of his parent's fights, but he can't let her go. He can't let her leave thinking that-

"Love," he says desperately, close to tears himself. She only flinches at the nickname and Jamie hates it, hates this club, hates this entire night. He wishes they had gone home and avoided this whole damned thing. "Love, please, it's not what it-"

"Don't feed me a line, Jamie," she scoffs, still trying to shimmy away from his grip. "I know what I saw, just let me go-"

"I don't even know her," he tries desperately, the truth spilling out his mouth like a dam breaking. He's shouting over the music, surrounded by thousands of strangers who can't care less about his screaming match with his girlfriend. Still, someone's bound to recognize him sooner or later, and the last thing he wants is a picture of him kissing someone that isn't his girlfriend on the front page of every news site and Twitter. "She said she was a fan and was talking about the game and then she just climbed on top of me-"

"With all of your friends around?" she questions, tired, tired of him, Jamie realizes. He feels suddenly sick.

"I didn't know what to do," the whole thing had reminded him too much of Amsterdam, being 14 and lanky and under his father's duress to do something he didn't want. His girlfriend at the corner of his eye had him snapping out of it a little too late.

"Please, Angel, please tell me you believe me," he begs, and she loves enough to let him cup her face in his hands, touch their foreheads together. "I love you, okay? I love you, I would never do this to you, I love you-"

She shakes her head. Her tears are falling into Jamie's fingers.

"Let's go home," he says frantically. "Let's go home, let me explain, I promise this isn't what you think. Please."

"Let me go, Jamie," she whispers, and yet somehow Jamie hears it clear as bells amongst the noise. The words crack at his heart, rip him apart for him to pick up his pieces in the middle of the dance floor.

She grabs onto his hands only to gently take them off her face, squeezing once halfheartedly before dropping them. "Let me go, just let me go."

[peachysunrize]

Lemon Tart ⥃ Prince! Aemond (p.1)

Summary: after six years of searching for his lover, Aemond comes across her bakery in Flea Bottom with his betrothed.

Warnings: 18+ mdni! Smut, p in v, royalty x commoner, infidelity, Alicent’s a bit more uptight here, angst angst angst, oral (M! Receiving), mentions of war, they lost their virginity at 16, English isn’t my first language<3

Word count: 5.2k

a/n: hi!! I had to re-edit this and post it, I just had to lol. But given the circumstances, I hope you’ll ignore this if it isn’t your cup of tea. Do not make fun of my english please I’m not a native speaker🩷 reblog and comments are most appreciated<3

Shoutout to my girl, @namelesslosers , for beta reading my work🥹🫂

It disgusted Aemond to no end that King’s Landing’s streets smelt this horrible, and having his betrothed by his side, walking among the commoners only added to his unmanageable frustration.

Cassandra Baratheon was as tolerating as a Baratheon could be; exceptionally loud and obnoxious, clingy and always cheerful, and totally the opposite of Aemond. And when she set her mind on something, there was no way she would accept anything but whatever she desired.

That’s why Aemond found himself glaring at anyone who dared cross their path. He had to put up with his betrothed obsession as she stopped at every shop she could find, buying unnecessary things to waste his money on and be happy so he could do his duty without her nose sticking into his business.

He was cautious as they neared a bakery in the dark corner of the alley. Guardsmen were ready to slaughter whoever they thought was a threat to Prince and his beloved wife-to-be.

Cassandra approached the shop, looking at different pastries, cakes, loaves of bread, and little desserts that were freshly baked. 

“Aemond we have to buy some!” She whined like she always did when she wanted something. And he was sick of hearing that damned nose again for the millionth time that day.

“Of course,” he replied coldly. He gave her another bag of gold and ushered her closer to the bakery. He watched as people left the bakery as soon as they got closer, afraid of the One-eyed prince.

Cassandra stood behind the stool, watching as the baker – you –  ran around the little shop with haste to get every order done. She cleared her throat, head held high as she glared at your back for not answering her.

“When a Princess is standing in your presence, you will bow and do as she says,” she whines again, trying to push past the wooden stool to get into your shop.

“You are yet to be a princess,” Aemond caught her arm, pulling her back harshly as he kept his face emotionless.

You froze, turning towards the royal couple standing in front of your bakery. The white hair, violet eye, and leather eyepatch; you remembered him so well. Every second you had spent together was playing in front of you, and all of a sudden you felt as if the walls of the bakery were falling on you, but you had to appear strong, after all, you left everything behind and moved on.

“My prince,” you said with a shaky voice, “My lady, how may I help you on this fine morning?” You smiled at them, swallowing harshly as you tried to avoid Aemond’s gaze as he stared at you.

Maybe he didn’t remember you, but how much a person could change in six years? You looked the same, a bit more mature. You could see how he was fighting the urge to keep staring at you and figuring you out. You prayed to the old gods that he didn’t recognize you, you were nowhere ready to experience his famous wrath and cruelty.

“Finally,” The lady huffed, “a loaf of your freshest bread and three strawberry cakes. They look delicious, don’t they, Aem?”

Your heart dropped when you heard her calling him by the nickname he only allowed you to call him. Maybe they were closer than you thought, but at that moment Aemond proved you wrong.

“Don’t ever call me that again, do you understand?” He warned her, his eye boring into hers as he frowned down at her. She nodded immediately, looking at her joined hands in front of her.

“Anything for you, my prince?” Finally, you regarded him. You couldn’t breathe when his eye locked with yours. You didn’t know how to feel, fear? Yearning? Pain? Love? You just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes. His gaze was intense like it had always been – since his childhood to now, he liked to look through everything and everyone, and then, he wanted to figure you out.

You wished for nothing but to melt away from his heated gaze as you waited for him to reply. He still had that effect on you which you became easily flustered around him, and it gave him a sense of power he had always craved.

“Lemon tart,”

You nodded and turned around quickly, not wishing to look upon his face anymore. He remembered everything, and he showed it with two simple words. You wanted to sob right there, but you had a job, and angering the prince of the realm and his future lady wife would be the last thing you needed.

You massaged your neck slowly as you walked to where you kept the sweets and cakes. The lady’s order was ready and you went to grab the latest lemon tart you had baked; lemon tart with sugar powder on top and slices of lemon and different berries – just how he liked. You could remember exactly from the day you opened your bakery this particular dessert was everyone’s favorite, and whenever you baked, it reminded you of how he would assist you.

Shaking your head to get rid of the beautiful memories, you put the cake inside the box and handed them all to the guards that were standing there.

“Is there anything else that you wish for?” you asked politely, looking at Cassandra, not Aemond.

“No,” He said curtly, grabbing the bag of gold from his betrothed and dropping it on the stool in front of you before he turned his back and left without another word being said. You thanked him quietly, watching him distance himself.

Why did it hurt to watch him leave? It shouldn't have hurt you at least, because you did the same thing, but never allowed him to watch you leave. You were just…gone from his life one day and he couldn’t do anything. Perhaps the gods deemed fit to punish you for your past actions, and years ago you had made your peace with it. But why did it feel like an arrow to your chest as you stared at his white hair that fell around his shoulders like moonlight waterfalls?

  —-------

  A few weeks passed and every day a royal guard would come to your bakery to order a lemon tart for his highness. You felt dreadful when you had to pack yet another box for The prince and all whilst you had to wipe the tears from your eyes. 

You didn’t get a blink of sleep because your mind was too occupied with Aemond Targaryen. You spent days crying and begging for the gods to take your life over the past six years but they didn’t. You were sure they wanted to see how you’d crumble to your feet and about the one that got away. The taste of happiness had been long gone from your life ever since you were forced to leave the castle; you had left your two loved ones behind.

One evening, you closed the bakery sooner, even though the guard didn’t come that day. The orange lights of the fireplace gave some sort of life to the dull room with all the scented candles you had lightened a few minutes ago.

A knock on your door brought you out of your train of thought. You were basically lonely in this neighborhood, just a few older shopkeepers who worked nearby, even your regular customers didn’t know you lived upstairs.

Aemond Targaryen was standing outside your door, with a brown bag in his hand. 

“My Prince, I-” You didn’t know how to react. You were confused, shocked, and a little flustered. 

“Can I come in?” He asked for permission, looking over your shoulder to see your home.

“Yes, oh, sure,” You stood aside, opening the door for him to walk in.

He was silent as he observed his surroundings. Your home was welcoming even though it was much smaller than his chambers, it still felt livelier than anywhere he had set foot in.

“I beg your pardon, this is not a place befitting you, my prince-”

“Nonsense, this is quite alright,” he replied hurriedly. 

He was anxious; the feared one-eyed prince was anxious about meeting his past friend – lover – and he couldn’t hide it. When he was near her, his emotions were all over the place. It felt right to tell her everything, he felt safe with her even after being apart for years.

“How can I help you then, my prince?” you asked, biting your lip in anticipation.

You couldn’t see his face, but you were aware of how tense his shoulders would get whenever you called him by his title. He had never been the prince for you, even when you were kids.

“Stop,” he inhaled, “stop calling me that.”

“I can’t, my price-”

“Yes, you can!” suddenly he raised his voice, making you flinch away from him, “Aemond is fine.” he continued with a hushed voice after how you retreated from him.

“I brought a few things,” He handed you the bag, finally having time to look at you thoroughly; your hair was down, you were wearing a simple loose dress that fell on your knees, and you were bare feet. You looked just as he remembered, so simple and gentle as if the gods had made you for him. Back then he thought you were sent from heaven, and now you looked even more beautiful with how mature you had grown.

“Eggs and milk?” you smiled at him, hesitant to know the reason.

“I thought perhaps we could bake a lemon tart together.” His words were rushed. He was scared of your rejection and you caught on to it quickly.

“Sure,” you replied, walking towards the little kitchen you had, “I know there isn’t much space…”

“It is enough for both of us,” 

“Alright, then let’s start, Aemond.”

You missed the weight of his name on your tongue, how you used to say it with joy and laughter, how you used to moan in it when your bodies molded together perfectly. And he missed hearing it from you. His name never felt the same after you left, not even when his sister said it.

You both started working in sync like old times when you’d sneak him into the castle’s kitchen and teach him how to bake different breads and pastries but Lemon tart was always his favorite — you had brought a piece of it for him after he lost his eye.

He remembered how you both would mess up the large kitchen at midnight with flour and fruit juices as you started baking together ever since the incident. Every night he’d meet you in the hallway near the maids’ rooms and you tiptoe towards the kitchen while giggling all the way.

You made him smile even at his lowest.

You started with pouring the milk and him taking care of the eggs, your bodies close to each other after years of running towards each other without ever reaching the destination.

You watched as he took off his leather coat and rolled up his sleeves, grabbing the flour he had found in one of your cabinets. You mixed as you observed his hands; rough cuts of sword swinging and dragon riding on them, and you saw the little mark of the place he had burnt himself while you were in the kitchen together.

You felt the heat of his body on your back while you were mixing the ingredients. He was close, so close that his hot breath was on your neck, his hands caging your body as soon as you tried to move away from him. He came there with purpose, and he wouldn’t back down until he got what he needed.

“Aemond,”

He quickly retreated from you, snatching the bowl out of your hands. You walked to the fireplace immediately, not daring to look at him. Both of you were on edge, you desired the closeness but the fear pushed everything down the cliff. You knew he wasn’t there just for a lemon tart, he was there for answers that you had buried deep down.

You had no idea how long it passed while you stared at the flames, but it had to be a solid two hours of silence when he came back with two plates and a lemon tart with sugar powder and chopped fruits on top – just how he liked it.

You put a piece on his plate and sat down as you stared at the tart in yours. It had been so long since you had been with him in a room, or baked with him. It felt strange yet so nostalgic. He sat next to you as he ate in silence, not once meeting your eyes but you knew his eyes were scanning you from head to toe. 

The first bite melted on your tongue, the sweet and sour flavors were always your favorite combinations. You smiled, remembering how much Aemond loved to add more lemon to the mix just to see how your face scrunched as you ate it. 

“It tastes delicious. Thank you,” you said, finally looking up from your plate to see him already looking at you with wide eyes.

He was always hard to read with all the walls he had built around himself. There were rare occasions that he’d smile or even laugh when you were around after the loss of his eyes. Eventually, he grew more comfortable around you, sometimes the little Aemond joked and tried to make you laugh.

He was a prince, and you were a maid’s daughter; you couldn’t be seen with each other, hence the reputation he had to uphold because of his title. At that time when you were both eleven, you found it funny how he couldn’t join you for meals, or how he talked when he was with his grandsire.

But as you grew up, the feelings that had been planted since your childhood bloomed and they became complicated and hard to ignore. You watched him in balls and gatherings on the king’s behalf, he dressed so well and you found your eyes following his every move. He danced with highborn ladies, who he told you were forced to do so, and you just stood in the corner of the hall. 

Your worlds were so different, he had a bright future ahead of him with his future lady wife and you? You had no idea what you wanted to do.

“Do you still bake in the castle?” You asked with a hushed voice.

“No,” it was curt, and you nodded your head in acknowledgment. After all, it wasn’t easy to talk about this particular issue.

“I am not keen on wasting my time, but I have a question that has been left unanswered for six fucking years.”

Aemond Targaryen was a man of honor and dignity. He held his chin high and burnt everyone by looking at them like the dragon he truly was — and he never cussed. Your eyes widened at how miserable he looked.

“Why did you leave?” His eye bore into yours as he glared at you. 

You were scared, you wanted to run away again, and you did — you stood up and tried to walk to the kitchen, but Aemond was fast on his feet and grabbed your elbow before you could make it past him.

“Don’t,” he warned you, and you had no choice but to oblige as he pointed at your bed in the corner of the room.

“Sit and give me an explanation for keeping me in the dark for six years.” He stood in front of you, holding his hands behind his back.

“Why did you leave?”

Your eyes watered, you couldn’t even form a word as you remembered how you left him. But he was in your house again, perhaps it could be your last chance to show him how much you loved him by explaining everything about your departure.

  ~ It happened so fast, Queen Alicent had come to the maids’ area with Ser Cole on the toe as they searched for her son who had missed breakfast. If it wasn’t for the girls who had talked about the noises they heard last night, she wouldn’t be able to find him.

She didn’t need to ask anyone to know which maid she should search for. She knew you and his son were friends, and as much as she disapproved you made Aemond happy, by just being his friend and nothing more. 

You were awake, doing your morning duties in the kitchen. You hummed and baked the sweets Princess Heleana asked you to while you thought about your night with the prince. You smiled to yourself sheepishly remembering he was still sleeping naked in your not-so-comfortable bed. The night was full of intimate moments, and he took his time with you; memorizing every curve of your body, every scratch. He kissed your scars and caressed the soft skin of your hips as he desired.

Sixteen and in love, what a blissful life.

Queen Alicent interrupted your daydreaming when she appeared in the kitchen, demanding the other maids to leave you alone. All the girls rushed out without glancing your way, too scared to even breathe as they filled out the kitchen.

You bowed, keeping your gaze on your feet as she glanced around herself. Never did you think you would see the queen in the kitchen, but there you were, and it could only mean one thing.

“Losing your virtue to the prince of the realm must be your highest achievement, Y/N.” Your heart dropped, sweat beading on your palms as you kept your head bowed down. You were caught, and all the punishment and consequences of your teenage sins would fall upon you — after all, no one dared to say an ill word towards Aemond Targaryen under his mother’s watch.

“At least now you can keep your mouth shut,” she sighed, pacing with her hands behind her back, “your lewd sounds were heard by the other girls. I know my son, he wouldn’t stoop this low to warm a maid’s bed. How did you trick him into this?”

You didn’t — couldn’t — say a word. Your mind was blank, the queen’s harsh words cut deep and you took the blow every time she spoke. She shouldn’t know it was Aemond’s idea, even if you told her, she wouldn’t believe you. 

“Look at me,” she grabbed your chin, yanking your face upwards with her fingers digging into your cheeks. Tears streamed down your face as you looked into Alicent’s eyes. 

“I love him,”

A simple confession that led you and Aemond to the current situation. He was the one to barge into your room and said those three words, and you followed him. He was your childhood friend, your baking partner, and he became your lover last night.

“Oh, so you love him. Well, if you truly love my son, you will leave the castle and stay as far away as you can from him. He has a future ahead of him, a duty to fulfill and you only drag him down to the mud with your filthy hands.”

She looked into your teary eyes, no sympathy in her voice as she gestured to Cole to escort you to your room. You couldn’t defend yourself, you were no one in her eyes, or anyone for that matter. Your only solace was Aemond, not the passionate lover nor the prince, just your friend, and then you were leaving him.

Cole waited outside as you gathered your clothes and found a little bag you found under the same bed Aemond was sleeping on. Quietly, you walked towards him, pushing a few of the strands of his hair out of his face. He stirred slightly but didn’t wake up. You pressed one last peck on his forehead and scar before you left him for good.~

Aemond stood in front of your bed, watching you sob as you told him what had truly happened that day. His face was emotionless, but you were good at reading him ever since you had spent nearly every day together. He clenched his fist, taking a shaky breath in while he listened to you.

Everything started to make sense when he was reminded of his mother’s words after he left your room to find you but he saw The Queen in the kitchen. She told him you left him with no remorse, you just took what you wanted from your Targaryen prince and left the castle wishing for his child to take — and he believed it.

But there you were; sitting on your bed, body shaking with sobs and tears, and no sign of a child around you. He had been fooled for years. He had been searching the entire city and couldn’t find you because of his mother and the City Watch.

He knelt on the floor, his eye telling you every word he couldn’t utter. You knew him like the back of your hand; he wasn’t good with words, and he was in disbelief at what you had told him.

You did what you had wanted to do for so long; you fell limp into his arms, hugging him close as your sobbing grew louder. The smell of sandalwood and leather was calming, the scent was a nice reminder of what it felt like to be close to him.

He wrapped his arms around you instantly, pulling your body impossibly close to his. He had to remind himself it was real that you were with him again and the agony of not seeing you was over.

He kissed your exposed shoulder like he always did when he tried to calm you down, and you melted within his arms. None of you dared to say a word, too afraid of breaking this blissful spell you had created. 

You pulled back a little to take a good look at his handsome face. His jaw had become a bit sharper, he looked more mature and gorgeous than you remembered. He looked like those princes from fantasy books who’d save you from a curse just by kissing you.

At that moment, all you wanted was to taste him. And taste him you did.

He met you halfway, his lips touching yours slowly. You moved together, chasing each other’s taste as you poured all the unsaid words into the kiss. The sugary taste of the desert you had was a cherry on top when his tongue met yours.

There was no rush, but the amount of lost time made you both hungry for each other.

You pulled his clothes off, latching your lips to his exposed neck. Aemond couldn’t care less about his betrothed, he had you in his arms, and being in an arranged engagement with the woman he had no feelings for was the last of his worries.

He stripped you out of your dress, his fingers brushing over your hardened nipples. He missed the way you sighed when you were content, and he wanted to make sure that he would create a wonderful night for you.

He sat on the bed with you straddling him, whimpering when you grind yourself down on his bulge. You kissed down his neck while he was kneading your breasts, pinching and squeezing the soft flesh here and there.

“Lay down, Aem.” You commanded gently, pushing him on his back while you sat on your knees between his legs, “I have a lot to make up for.”

His breathing became irregular as you kissed down his chest, hands roaming his toned body as you made your way down to his pants. You undid the laces and pulled the fabric down. He helped you take them off completely, leaving him fully naked to your lustful gaze.

His cock was already aching hard and you didn’t waste any more time before you grabbed him in your hands, stroking him gently. He looked at you through his hooded eye, watching you closely when you wrapped your lips around the tip. His head fell back on your pillow when you sucked on it a little. 

It had been so long for both of you to be intimate with someone else that it left you both impatient and needy for more.

You twirled your tongue around him, taking him deeper into your hot mouth. He was breathless already, and he was having a very hard time not unleashing the beast and taking you as he desired. So before his self-control vanished, he pulled you up and smashed his lips to yours. He couldn’t take it anymore, he would go insane if he wasn’t inside you for a second longer. 

You took your underwear off, feeling the wetness of your cunt dripping down your inner thighs a bit. Aemond helped you straddle him again with his hands guiding your hips back and forth on his cock as you rubbed your needy pussy on him.

You moaned — that sweet sound that he would burn the world for just to hear again. You kept yourself up by your hands on his chest as he helped you sit down on his cock, pushing him inside your welcoming hole with a whine.

You leaned down, pushing his eyepatch out of his face slowly, giving him enough time to stop you — but he never did. You looked at the scar that brought you to him, the sapphire that filled the socket glinted and you couldn’t help but press your lips to his eyelids as carefully as you could. He looked fragile beneath you, and you wanted to reassure him, to make him feel safe and wanted and loved again.

He stretched you out and filled you up perfectly. There was no pain, just a slight discomfort at first as you grew used to his size. Meanwhile, he thought he had died and he was in heaven. He had you on top of him — naked in all your glory — with his cock buried deep inside you. 

“I missed you, Aem.” It came out as another moan when you rolled your hips.

You rode him for long minutes, kissed, and spent time in each other’s arms as he gave you the pleasure you craved for so long. 

Aemond took you in different positions, he made love to you, fucked you at some point, and let you take control when he wanted to just worship your body. He would kiss wherever his lips could reach, and with each press on your skin, you felt fireworks throughout your body.

Your bodies molded together as you both came together; a long, heartwarming, and overwhelming release that you had been pathetically desiring for years.

You were so lost in pleasure that you didn’t notice when he cleaned both of you and laid next to you on your bed. There wasn’t much space for both of you, so Aemond laid you on his chest as he snuggled closer to you. He breathed you in, wishing for this moment to last until his last day alive.

You fell asleep immediately, and you hadn’t been able to do so because it was always him who pulled you into a deep slumber. 

He felt safe enough to whisper his devotion into your ear while you slept in his arms. He hoped he could run away from the war and take you away on the dragon's back. He wanted to spend his days with you by his side, but he thanked the gods for this night even though he had not thought about what would be happening at dawn.

  —————

  The sun rose, and the first rays of sunshine hit Aemond’s face. He stirred a little, nuzzling his nose into your hair as he tried to fall asleep again. He didn’t want his time to end with you this soon before he was forced back to put on the mask again. 

The sound of horses and a carriage approaching the bakery was enough to put him on edge. He gently let go of you, pulling the covers over your body before he put on his eyepatch, white undershirt, and pants. He didn’t care if any of the commoners saw him there, after all, he would visit the neighborhood more often from now on.

He came downstairs, his eyes meeting his mother’s eyes as soon as she stood in front of the bakery. How did she know you were there, moreover, how did she know he was there?

“Your future wife has a large mouth, son,” Alicent said, watching his every move.

“What do you want?”

He tried to control his temper when his mother chuckled at his little burst of anger.

“Why her?” She asked.

“Because she makes me feel loved.” 

His answer was simple, and it made sense to the queen why he would choose you out of everyone. She remembered how you were always around Aemond when he was alone, you helped him with almost everything and never humiliated him, unlike his cousins and brother.

“She has to leave, Aemond—“

“You are not taking her away from me again!” He raised his voice, “Not when I have found the only source of the light in my miserable life. You will not sink your claws in her again, I will never allow you to ruin our chances of happiness.”

“We are at war, and you are promised to Lady Baratheon—“

“I do not care less about the names and titles,” he sighed, “not when she is who I have loved unconditionally for my whole life.”

Alicent walked closer to him until she could cuo his face.

“In the depth of war, love does not win, son. It is logic and pain and suffering that will bring us victory. We cannot fight against the wrath of Lord Baratheon when he hears of your affair.”

He was about to answer when you interrupted them.

“Her majesty is right, Aem.” You sounded so defeated and defenseless.

They both looked at you and for the second time in the time you had known Aemond, you saw him shed a tear. 

Queen Alicent stood back, giving you enough space to talk to him.

You wrapped your arms around his torso, resting your head on his chest as you listened to his heartbeat.

“I have to leave, for the safety of our love.” You said, pecking his lips gently. He kissed back immediately, giving you a final kiss before you vanished from his life again.

“Avy jorrāelan,” I love you.

“I love you, too, Aem. I love you so much.” You kissed him again hurriedly, and he kept you close, not wanting to let you go.

“I hope your seed takes this time so I can have you with myself wherever I go,” you whispered in his ear, “come find us after the war, so we can bake lemon tarts for our silver-haired kids.”

You broke apart and followed Ser Cole to the carriage they had prepared for you after you bowed to the queen.

You left him again with an oath he had to fulfill; he would come to find you when the time was right.

[wheneclipsefalls]

Withered

Beautiful Adult Neteyam photo by the wonderful @cinetrix

Pairing: Alpha Neteyam x Beta Fem Omatikaya Reader

Synopsis: You and Neteyam have opposite lives. He thrives in the daylight of possibilities while you are forced to the shadows. You are sure that the right course of action would be letting the future Olo'eyktan go. Neteyam is less convinced.

Based on a request from my 🥔 anon

Warnings: aged up characters, aged up neteyam, angst, health problems, explicit smut, dirty talk, crying, miscommunication, p in v, virgin reader, first time, omegaverse, alpha/beta relationship dynamic, heat, sickness, 18+ only MDNI

Tanhi: star/little star I Yawne: beloved I Sevin: pretty I Mawey: calm

A/N: I can't tell you all enough how grateful I am for the hype and many comments that have been around this story just from that small sneak peek I posted. This ended up being a lot longer than I ever anticipated but I had a blast writing it. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from y'all!

For many the sun is a symbol of warmth, peace, and solace. The bright rays enwrap Na’vi of all ages in the glow of Eywa’s love. The rise of morning light represents a new day, another chance for adventure and possibilities. When the illuminating glow of yellow sunshine transforms into streaks of vibrant purples and pinks, it indicates a time for families to come together and tuck in for the night. 

However, for you, your day truly begins at the first glow of bioluminescence. Eclipse is your time to explore the world.

You were born with an almost unheard of disease. It only took a few days of your infant body breaking out into abnormal rashes for Tsahik to realize something was wrong. Exposure of more than a few minutes to sunshine causes detrimental effects to your body. For this reason, you are forced to avoid the vibrant glow of the sun. 

From that moment on you have lived your life almost nocturnally. On lucky days the clouds protect you from the harmful UV rays. Rain has come to be your favorite weather as it allows you an escape from your hut. 

Despite these difficulties you have always strived to remain positive. You thank your parents for their gracious attitudes that inspire you to look for the silver lining in all situations. Sure you can not sunbathe or prowl the forest during sunny days but no one knows the forest at Eclipse as well as you do. Your knowledge has come in handy more than a few times, being asked to guide night hunts with some of the most notorious warriors in the clan.

This is where you met Neteyam.

The firstborn of the infamous Toruk Makto and your future Olo’eyktan, you originally assumed he would have no interest in interacting with you. You knew him from afar, hearing the word spread of his kindness and diligence when it came to helping those around him. His alpha status only served to bring a larger gaggle of girls practically falling at his feet. As a beta and suffering from a rare condition, you naturally took yourself out of the run up. You were confident he would choose some sweet and knowledgeable omega that would be the perfect tsahik. 

However, your assumptions quickly crumbled as he progressively paid attention to you more and more throughout these night hunts. Instead of joining the rest of the alpha warriors gathering to share a strong drink after a successful kill, he would opt to check in with you. You were shy at first, unsure of how to act around such an influential member of the clan. However, there was something about those golden orbs and soft smile that quickly set you at ease. 

You still remember the first time you had sustained a small injury during these hunts. It was nothing more than a shallow slash to your forearm, but Neteyam had insisted on carefully wrapping it himself. You gushed over him like an idiot, reminding him that it was unnecessary but  he showed his stubborn side that day. 

At first you thought it was your own overactive imagination noticing the frequency of night hunts he signed up for increase, but eventually it had become every single night. No matter how boned-tired he was from a day of full Olo’eyktan training, he would beam at the sight of your small form. His scent was something that seemed to constantly enrapture your senses. The heavy essence of pine and hormonal swings was so much stronger than yours. It took some getting used to. The first few nights you were bashful to come home and find evidence of your arousal dampening your loincloth. 

Still, you told yourself it was just a simple crush that you had to live with. It took weeks for you to even consider the possibility of Neteyam showing interest in you. He had been consistent in bringing you out of your shell, getting you to talk about everything from your family to the fondest hope and dreams in your heart. Oftentimes he would stay back behind after the hunt to help you join him sitting on an overarching thick branch (you were grateful for the darkness of eclipse that hid your blush each time he effortlessly hoisted you up with large hands gently holding your waist) and chat away into the night. 

It was only when the gifts began that you gave these interactions a second thought. It had started small with simple flowers and fruits he had encountered throughout the day. However, they slowly became more intricate. The first time he brought you a small woven bracelet of sparkling gems, you had been gobsmacked. 

“Like the night sky. The only thing appropriate for my tanhi.” He had said, making you almost choke on your own spit. Tahni- little star: a nickname he had coined for you after the first week. A fitting term for someone that only knew the night sky. Still, it was the first time he had ever called you his. The terminology was not lost on you. 

When the sun arose once more and you had retired back to your protected hut, those words had kept you up, your small fingers twiddling with the bracelet. 

Taking your acceptance of the small gift, Neteyam had become even more bold with his courting. Before you knew it he was bringing a meal with him for you before every hunt. You had tried to decline the thoughtful gesture but he would not take no for an answer. 

“Someone has to make sure you eat, tanhi.” 

There was no fighting the alpha on this, so you graciously took the meals each night. He smiled proudly as you moaned in satisfaction of the carefully seasoned meat he had killed and prepared for you. Another testament to the mighty warrior and beneficial mate he is. 

You started to think that the eldest Sully was simply a flirt, or perhaps such a kind person that his actions came off as romantic. However, there was one instance that finally tipped you to accepting his affections. It was a particularly successful hunt, dragging home a thanator, when he had slowed down to your pace. Talking about anything and everything under the night sky, your breath was practically stolen from your lungs when he reached out to tuck a strand of your dark hair behind your ear. 

However innocent the gesture was, it was the lingering of his hand running down your neck that caused your heart to bash against your rib cage violently. A simple brush that had left his scent to coalesce with yours. An essence that would keep other suitors away. Out of habit, you mentally went to play it off as a simple accident, but the crooked smirk plastered across his face did not allow you. There was a primal satisfaction seated in those golden orbs, one that caused a pool of arousal to gather in your core. 

He knew what he had done. 

Neteyam was proud of it. 

His affection was untethered from that point forward. Accidental brushes of fingers had turned into blatant hand holding. The alpha never missed an opportunity to press a warm hand to the small of your back, guiding you through the terrain, or wrap an arm around your waist in order to steady you when walking over uneven forest floor. 

“What kind of alpha would I be if I let you get hurt?” 

He had spoken in response to your inquiry, a cheeky grin plastered across his face.

Falling for Neteyam was easy. Too easy. It was keeping yourself back from jumping into his arms or melting into his embraces that was difficult. No matter how strange and suggestive his behavior had been, you didn’t want to get your hopes up. After all, there was no saying what he got up to during the day. For all you knew he could be taking omegas out every day and weaving sweet gifts for them too. 

So you had decided to do what was best for everyone and take yourself out of the situation before something embarrassing could happen. You declined the request to accompany the hunting party and instead went to spend some more time with your family. If your parents noticed the difference in your appearance they did not show it. They were always good at giving you space, respecting your independence as an adult (although your mother did go out of her way to place a comforting hand on your shoulder, a silent way to express her understanding and love). Neither of them knew about Neteyam at the time, it was easier that way. 

This fact only heightened their surprise when they saw Toruk Makto’s eldest son approaching their small gathering. You can still remember the intent gaze that Neteyam pierced you with. Your heart hammered out of your chest, hands fidgeting with the moss beneath you nervously. Neteyam signaled the traditional greeting to your parents before respectfully asking your father if he could borrow you for a moment. 

They were caught off guard, your dad turning back to send you a curious look, but naturally neither wanted to decline the Omatikaya prince. 

Once the two of you were finally alone, Neteyam immediately sprang into action. He grabbed your biceps and used that hold to turn you from side to side as he scanned your form. His intense inspection had blood rushing to your cheeks. 

“Neteyam, what are you doing? I thou-”

“Where are you injured?” You twitched when he reached a hand out to inspect your flicking tail too. Confusion swarmed within you. You had sputtered and struggled to put together a full sentence.

“It has been three days, Tanhi. I blew one day off as exhaustion or a fluke and the second as pure coincidence but surely only an injury would keep you away from the hunt for three days.” His eyes finally met yours again when there was no wound to be found. His tall frame had towered over yours as he reached out to cup your cheek. 

That familiar warmth and adoration you had for him had returned within an instant. 

You stepped back, successfully out of his grasp.

“I’m fine.” You replied simply. 

His tail swatted in the humid air and those golden orbs had squinted into slits. The focused attention of that look full of suspicion was enough to hold you down to your spot. You swallowed the lump in your throat and as you tried desperately to keep the fidgeting at bay. It was one of the few times you were grateful to be beta because surely an omega would shrivel under the pressure of his looming presence. 

“I don’t like when you lie to me, Tahni. Now tell me why I’ve had to go without my little star for three whole days.” Neteyam placed his hands sternly upon his hips, ears twitching forward as if preparing to take in your explanation. An explanation that you felt could not be shared. Doing so was bound to undermine your plans, completely destroying the efforts that had been made. 

“The group seems to be more than sufficient without my guidance.” You don’t dare to meet his eyes, your own orbs trained at the ground instead. In a moment’s notice his sculpted body was once again inches away from yours. His warmth came off of him in waves, along with the heady aura of alpha pheromones. 

You couldn’t hold back the shiver that ran down your spine when he placed heavy hands on your shoulders and bent over your frame till you could feel his calm breath against your ear. Neteyam’s tail wrapped around your thigh. A part of your brain told you to run, understanding the alluring danger that awaited you, while the other yearned to curl up against his impressive physique. 

You couldn’t understand how any omega managed to be around this male without completely dropping to their knees.

Suddenly you had some sympathy for the girls that had always fawned over him. 

“Tell me the truth, sevin.” The heated words tickled at your ears and made your heart skip a beat. It was foolish to think that there was any chance of lying to Neteyam, the mighty warrior that walked with the confidence of the supernatural. 

So you did.

You had scrambled to messily explain how it would be best if the two of you spent less time together. Unfortunately this unrehearsed synopsis included an approach that painted yourself as the foolish beta with a crush on the Omatikaya prince and therefore unable to handle herself around him. It was not the perspective you had hoped for, but it was the only one that could have been presented in your state of jumbled thought. 

Neteyam shook his head, an almost fond smile upon his lips. 

“Tanhi, you really do not like to make things easy for me.” A bitter laugh escaped his throat. The sound put you slightly on edge but there was no trace of anger in his expression. Amusement was easily perceivable in the raise of his hairless eyebrows. He had taken your humiliating and pathetic explanation in stride, in fact, he had found humor in it. 

“I thought I’ve made myself clear.” You were swooped into the encirclement of his arms in one quick motion. You squeaked and braced yourself against the warm muscles of his abdomen. “You are the mate I seek.” 

His words had thrown you into a spiral, your heartstrings plucking into rhythms of heightened emotion. It was almost too much to take in. A part of you still found security in denying these bold claims but there had been too much evidence at that point. Neteyam Sully had in fact been courting you. 

His head lowered, nuzzling at your face until you finally looked up at him. Your lips were only a breath apart. 

“If you’ll have me.” Neteyam whispered. 

There was no fighting the longings of your heart at that rate. That night you had agreed to his courting and within a month the two of you had been madly in love and preparing to officially mate. 

The process was faster, seemingly faster than anything else in your life. Night had always slowed you down from progressing in the normal rhythm of Na’vi milestones, but Neteyam had broken that pattern for you. 

You can still remember the vivid sensation of his tendrils connecting with your own. Those sparks of electricity that had created a direct line to his innermost feelings and thoughts. There was great solace to be found in the surging feelings of love and adoration he had for you, something you had been able to tap into. Still, nothing could ever compare with the way you felt for Neteyam. 

He’s your world. Your light. Your sun. 

Being with him feels like finally having a taste of those golden rays. You can see it in his smile. In the shake of his shoulders when his laughter trickles from soft lips. In the unashamed sparkle that overtakes his eyes in a coating whenever they land on you after a long day of training. 

Neteyam has become your world in only a matter of a few months. It is hard to imagine how you went so many years without this unbreakable connection between the two of you. Each night you wake up to the warm embrace of your mate who has come home from a long day of training. Soft kisses are placed along your eyelids, cheeks, and nose until your thick lashes flutter and you regain consciousness. 

The searing envious looks of other females can be felt at your back when the two of you join the rest of the clan for dinner each night, but it is only white noise in the presence of your handsome mate guiding you with a hand to the small of your back. In fact it becomes less than a passing memory when Neteyam goes on to share the events of the day in great detail, usually pulling out a tucked away gift he has found for you along the trails of his adventures. 

There is so much hidden beneath that emanating exterior of perfection that Neteyam upholds. He strips away those layers only for you, usually among the flowering meadow the two of you lay in while stargazing. The stories often end with your mate trailing off into a groggy murmur until the air fills with the sounds of his sleeping breaths. You prefer to stay tucked against him for a while longer, letting the moment last before you must wake him and shoo the mighty warrior back home for some much needed rest. 

While he sleeps you venture from the hut to forage and hunt, although Neteyam prefers to accompany you during dangerous hunts. You decide that what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. He is known to be an overprotective alpha anyway. Once food has been secured and your adventures have come to a close, you slip back into the darkened hut before the first break of dawn. Those specially made thick curtains are the difference between life and death for you. 

Although the tent has been sufficient for years, Neteyam continues to add to its layers. He is constantly worrying about the vulnerabilities of the hut, convinced that one slip could bring catastrophic consequences to his mate. So he works with his father to constantly rebuild and strengthen the exterior walls. There are times where you remind him of how unnecessary these actions are but Neteyam is undeterred by these conversations. So you let your mate continue his projects. If it brings him peace of mind to obsess over the structure then it must be doing some good. 

Things are great for the first month. Nothing sexual occurs during those first few weeks of being newly mated, out of respect to you. There is no denying that Neteyam has had experience in the ways of pleasuring females but you on the other hand have never been close to intimate with someone else. As a couple you decide to take things slow. However, you can not help but admire the restraint Neteyam shows when you catch the shift of his pheromones into that of lust or see the tightness of his loincloth after a particularly long make out session. 

Were it any other alpha you are sure that the time would have come for him to become impatient and work towards persuading you to go further with him. However, Neteyam knows that you are shy and nervous. He puts your needs before his own and constantly assures you that he is happy to wait so long as you feel comfortable when the time is right. 

Your apprehension has slowly been melting away. The soft caresses that travel along your form sends a burning thrill that is exotic to you. Moments where you are brave enough to straddle his lap while kissing, the friction of his groin against your core is electric. These new feelings have been quickly festering and building inside of you. The nerves have slowly morphed into alluring curiosity. It has been becoming harder to hold back.

For this reason, you’ve decided to tell Neteyam tonight that you are ready. Finally, the bond created through tsaheylu will be strengthened and confirmed by the intertwining of each other’s bodies. 

The last hints of sunshine have disappeared behind the moon. This time you wake before Neteyam has a chance to come wake you up himself. The nerves that bundle into a coil in your stomach have kept you from sleeping in so you decide to seek him out yourself. It shouldn’t be long till he is back from an exhibition with Jake. 

The village is lively with reuniting families after a prosperous day of duties. It's a familiar sight that has always brought a warmth to your heart, especially that of small children running to their mothers or fathers with grabby hands. There are times where you imagine sending your own child to wobble excitedly towards Neteyam, spun through the air by the mighty warrior that you are lucky enough to call your mate. 

High in the trees, hidden by the walls of a family hut you hear the familiar voice of Lo’ak. A smile tugs at your lips, confident that Neteyam is sure to be with his brother. However, that excitement is dampened slightly when the responding voice is not your mate’s but Unip’s. 

“I just don’t know how long he thinks this can go on.” Unip sighs.

“Well you know how Neteyam is. He will find a way to succeed and if not, he will die trying.” Lo’ak snorts, but there is a hint of concern in his nonchalant tone. It’s a timber that makes you halt in your tracks and ears twitch to hear the conversation. 

“It’s only going to get worse, you know. Once he is Olo’eyktan, half a night’s rest will not be enough anymore. He already looks half dead.” 

There is a silence that follows, only filled by the sound of your own heart thumping. 

“You’re never going to convince him otherwise, bro.” Lo’ak responds, amused tone faltering greatly. 

Stepping forward, you curve yourself around a thick tree trunk in effort to discreetly get a better look at the pair. Lo’ak’s back is facing towards you but even from this low vantage point, the lines of his tense muscle are easy to spot. Your golden eyes have become specialized for seeing in the dark after all these years, allowing a better image of his form and mannerisms. You are used to reading people’s expressions and body language with only the dim glow of eclipse. 

“Stubborn skxawng.” Unip shakes his head before leaning against the sturdy trunk. His scowl is illuminated by the soft red glow of a patch of sprouting flowers. The sight makes your stomach twist. 

Have things truly gotten this bad?

“Neteyam won’t leave her. You and I both know that. All that can be done is make peace with it.” Lo’ak shrugs his shoulders.

“And watch him turn into an old man in a few years. Those bags are sure to be bad for his pretty boy appearance.” Unip quips back, causing both the males to break out into laughter. 

The tension visibly eases between them but you are not laughing. In fact, you can feel the beginning of those twisting nerves pushing bile up your throat. All joyful anticipation has washed from your features, replaced with dread and horror. 

Your feet drum against the forest floor, stuck on autopilot and effectively taking you home. The beginning of streaming tears threaten to drop past your eyes. 

It’s true that Neteyam has been tired but it isn’t till now that you reply back your interactions and his recent appearance. Those dark circles aren’t as prevalent in the light of eclipse, perhaps they are more telling in daylight. Neteyam has a way of falling asleep in a matter of seconds once hitting the mat but you have always assumed that to be a part of his nature. Some people are naturally deep sleepers. 

However, now, all of these signs appear in a different light for you. Each conversation is played back in your head but of course Neteyam has never let his weaknesses show, especially ones that could be brought on by you. You know this and yet it is only now that you scold yourself for not being more perceptive, for not seeking advice and perspective from those around him.

His family and friends have an advantage that you can not achieve. Surely they would be the first to notice his changes in demeanor and health. They are the ones watching him work, train, and interact more closely with clan members. You have never been more envious of those walking in the sun in your entire life. This condition has always been a hassle for you but now it has turned into true heartache. 

This weakness that Eywa has given you is no longer just affecting you but now your perfect mate. This disease has spread to him in a way you scold yourself for not anticipating. 

How is he supposed to become Olo’eyktan, protecting and guiding the People all while being tethered to you? 

Eywa has destined your life to be forever restricted to the shadows, but that is not Neteyam’s path. 

You can spot the familiar dark canvases of your hut in the trees up ahead. No doubt Neteyam has already returned home at this point, if not then he will soon. Less than an hour earlier you were ecstatic to see him but now the thought of seeing those tired eyes makes you want to curl up into a ball. 

Needing more time to process, you opt to take a different route, one that leads to a secluded waterfall. Safe in the greenery and now sitting in the shallow area of the glowing water, you take a moment to breathe. Water trickles into a soothing pattern that has been associated with your memories in this found sanctuary. 

Truly, none of this should be a surprise. This ailment has been the driving course of your life thus far and you’ve grown used to it, letting go of certain aspects that are not meant for you. Neteyam is just another one of those. He is beyond your reach. Keeping him here would only hurt the clan. They need a leader that can be with them, present both physically and mentally. For the greater good it is time to let him become that Olo’eyktan. 

Perhaps you would have accepted this fact and stuck to it earlier on were it not for the great love you hold for him. Neteyam Sully holds your heart and soul effortlessly in his hands. There will never be another that lights up your life the same way he does and truth be told, you don’t want there to be. Forever your first and only love. 

Regardless, the time for being selfish is over.

Some Na’vi have the honor of dying a warrior’s death, going down in the name of protecting the People. Others sacrifice their time and energy serving the clan daily in the name of Eywa. You have been kept back from either of these duties so it makes sense that giving up the future Olo’eyktan would be your contribution. 

After all, how are you supposed to serve as Tsahik with your limitations?

This makes sense. Your brian tells you this is the logical solution. Life will go on. You will return back to a life that you have come to be content with over the years and Neteyam will find a proper mate that can serve The People by his side. 

Still, it is impossible to ignore the cracks that are slowly developing in your heart. It is difficult to imagine a life without your true love. The thought alone has a sob crawling up your throat. This sound however is morphed into a strange shriek when a pair of muscular arms suddenly grasp and pull you back against a hard chest.

The water splashes around the two of you and you can feel the rumble of Neteyam’s laughter as you are awkwardly shifted in his arms. 

“Baby girl, you are really off your game today.” He teases fondly before nuzzling his face into the curve of your neck. An efficient shuffle has you more familiarly settled between the corded muscle of his toned thighs. Instinctually you lean back against him. 

“What? Nothing to say in your defense?” 

“Oh yeah uh just tired.” You lamely respond. 

“Silly Tanhi, today has barely begun.”

For you. 

The day has barely begun for you and only you. Every other Na’vi enjoy the blissful alignment of the sun and their ‘days’. You are the outlier. 

Gathering up your courage you finally lift yourself onto your knees and turn to face him. Neteyam grins, but for once you aren’t focused on the gleams of those pearly teeth. Sure enough there are dark circles in a crescent shape beneath his eyes. You reach out to thumb at those dark contrasts. The alpha blissfully misreads this as cupping his cheek. He leans into the touch and his smile broadens. 

“My sweet sevin.” He mumbles. Your stomach tightens back into that knot. Finally, he seems to notice the shift in your demeanor. The smile falters and he places his hand over the one cupping his cheek. The large veined hand completely covers yours. 

“What’s wrong?” 

It seems an impossible task to go through with what you know must be done. A part of you considers holding off, letting it last a little longer before you lose him forever. However, that would only result in a more sleep deprived Omatikaya Prince and the suffering of future Olo’eyktan. 

The longer you take to respond the faster the amusement in those golden orbs declines. He calls your name softly and turns his head to gently peck your palm. 

“I just-” You steady yourself. The words feel like acid crawling up your throat and sitting pressed against him only makes it burn more. Cautiously you detach yourself completely and settle down on the colorful rocks lining the shallow river. 

Neteyam immediately stiffens. His tail curls up into high alert and his ears twitch back slightly, but still you can see the now fake smile plastered on his face. 

“You’re…tired.” It’s a weak start but they are the only words you can force out. 

There is a flicker of surprise in his features but it melts away into a mocking eye roll. The corners of his lips are back to being turned up in a more genuine manner. 

“Well of course I’m a little tired Tanhi. Every mighty warrior should be if he’s done his job right.” The alpha chuckles and you can almost taste the deviation of his pheromones. He confidently reaches out to take your hand in his. “But never too tired to spend time with my sweet little star.” 

The cool rush of water is a dramatic contrast to the warm grasp Neteyam has on your hand. It feels like fire that curls up your veins and pushes tears to the back of your eyes. It’s too painful to be close like this. To see him obliviously flirt and cuddle as if all is well when you know deep down that this will be the last time you feel his touch. 

“No, I mean exhausted. Ma Neteyam-” You shut your mouth tight. That phrase was so easily in your arsenal of vocabulary but it’s time to start training yourself to stop using it. You brush the circles under his eyes again. “You haven’t been getting enough sleep.”

Realization seems to dawn for him.

“Oh you mean my eyes. Lo’ak was teasing me earlier about it. Didn’t think it would bother you so much, sevin, but I’m sure my grandmother has some herbs to lighten the color.” He laughs lightly.

“No, Neteyam. This is bad for you. Staying up every night only to push yourself to the limit the next day. Living in that darkened hut. Spending every last fiber of energy you have spending time with me. Taking care of me-”

“That is what mates do, Tanhi. I don’t want it any other way-”

“I am bad for you!”

The words cut through the air and suddenly every remnant of the playful atmosphere has disappeared. 

“Don’t say stuff like that, Tanhi.” His voice is firm, stern enough to be considered reprimanding. Neteyam eyes darken onto a duller glow. The musky scent of your mate shifts into that of a stronger presence. It’s moments like that that you remember how distinct his second gender is. 

“Neteyam, you know I’m right. This condition is no longer just hurting me but you too. Playing this game of back and forth makes no sense.” 

He sits up straight, back stiff as a rod. It takes everything in you to hold that gaze without bursting into tears and backing down. The flicker of his tail has turned into frantic swatting as his lips curl downwards. 

“What are you trying to say, love?”

You gulp and prepare yourself to utter words that weigh heavy in your heart. 

“We have to end this.” 

Silence drags on. The rush of running water and purring wildlife is the only thing that fills the air. Your tail swishes nervously in the water, causing a slight splash. No matter which way you squint or tilt your head, Neteyam’s expression is unreadable. Even your enhanced night vision is not enough to fully understand or anticipate the brewing emotions beneath those golden eyes. 

“No.”

Your mind sputters to a halt at the snipped response. He’s giving you nothing to work with. 

“Neteya-”

“Where is all of this coming from, yawne?” He reaches forward to cup your cheek but you stand up before he can. This close proximity is becoming too much. Perhaps it’s cowardly, but you need a reprieve from his love-filled gaze and tender touches. Otherwise, there is no way you will be able to do what needs to be done. You wonder if he knows this as you are met with a toned chest at eye level blocking your path. 

“Did something happen?”

“No.”

“Then why are you so worried all of a sudden?” He pleads for an answer but you have finally managed to slip past him and wade out of the water. The drum of your feet rings in your ears, taking you to Eywa knows where. Neteyam is hot on your heels. 

“It’s not just worry, it’s logic, Neteyam. Can’t you see? You are going to be Olo’eyktan. The People need a leader that won’t be tied to some nocturnal Na’vi that drains the last bit of energy you have left.”

The alpha goes to interject but the words are flying out of your mouth at such a speed at this rate, he has no opportunity. 

“They will need a Tsahik that can do more than just work a night shift. Not to mention one that actually understand healing protocal-”

“My grandmother has already offered to teach you.” He counters, stomping feet practically nipping at your heels. It’s not that you mean to walk away from him, but the dam that holds your suffocating emotions at bay is starting to crack and crumble. One look at him could weaken your resolve. This has to be done fast, ripped off like an adhesive bandage. 

“You deserve to be with someone that can lead The People with you. A mate that can serve both you and the clan in a way I never can. An omega that is a proper mate.”

A strong hand clamps around your bicep and spins you around. Neteyam glowers down at you with an intensity that is borderline desperate. The tears are starting to leave a glaze over your eyes, even as you avoid his own at any cost.

“You are my mate. You are the woman that I choose to spend the rest of my days with.” He tries to gently tilt your face towards him by grabbing your chin, but you flick it off. “We are mated before Eywa.” The crack in his voice tears at your heart. 

“I shouldn’t have let it go on this long, I’m sorry. I foolishly let myself believe that you and I are meant to be but now it is clear that my head was simply in the clouds.” A sob thickens your voice until it is barely tangible. Words are failing you and you idly wonder how many more you will truly be able to manage in this state. 

You attempt to flee from his embrace once more, just a moment to escape that heartbreaking stare that follows your every move. Neteyam holds you gently by the biceps but there is enough force there to keep you in place. 

“We are, Tahni. All these other obstacles are just that, obstacles. Things we can overcome.” He slumps down, determined to finally have your eyes meet his. The curtain of your flowing hair is a weak shield against these efforts. You can feel the heat of his escalating breath tickle at your cheeks. He swoops in closer slowly, with the caution of closing in on a skittish prey. “It’s just you and me, little star.”

The flat of his nose finally rests against yours, lips only a sudden movement away.

There are promises of familiar comfort and happiness in this intimate position. Your nature keens towards his gentle touch. It prompts you to hide away every other concern, worried that it could break this moment of tranquility. 

However, that is exactly what you do.

“You have to break it.” 

There is a pause, a moment of shock that you take advantage of. Slipping out his hold, you watch realization slink across his features. It’s blood chilling, the look of horror that is clearly evident upon his handsome face. It’s a rare thing to render Neteyam speechless. He has grown up learning how to lead and command a room with confidence and grace. Seeing him now, mouth agape as his thoughts lag, it’s easier to see that there is simply a normal man behind the mighty warrior. 

A male that you have managed to strip away the light in his eyes, all evidence of excitement lost. 

It is now that you can truly see the aching restlessness and lost nights of sleep in his demeanor. He wilts before you. 

“You don’t mean that.” He insists, voice now hollow of its usual domineering confidence. 

“I do.” The timber of your voice shivers and shakes, doing nothing to strengthen your resolve. Still, the lost look that Neteyam sends you absolutely wrenches at your heart. “It’s what’s best for everyone.”

Words that are meant to reassure him at least slightly only make his tail halt movement, obvious that the phrase only digs the dagger deeper into his chest. 

“Everyone?” He whispers, hairless eyebrows drawing together. Hesitant steps lead you backwards, eager to begin your journey away from this tornado of darkened emotions. Away from the raincloud you have created between the two of you. “You…this is what you want?”

Want.

That small word is a palpable distinction. To change this argument from what needs to be done to the inner workings of your desires and dreams. To veer it towards the ever flowing river of devotion and love you know will always be in your heart for him. It’s the one move that leaves you completely defenseless.

This is the last thing that you want. 

He has to know that. He must know that. And perhaps that is why he faces you with this question head on, forcing you to say the words out loud. It’s a towering wall that you have no hopes of climbing. Lying is not your strong suit. Neteyam knows that. 

“Please Neteyam.” You send your final plea before turning on your heel and bolting. Vanishing into the trees before he has a second to form one syllable.

Lying isn’t your strength, but hiding is something you are familiar with. 

“She’ll probably cool down.” Lo’ak reassures him, handing a leaf with larvae to Neteyam. 

“What did I do wrong?” Neteyam wonders out loud. It’s difficult for Lo’ak to tell whether or not that question is rhetorical. The eldest Sully’s eyes are focused on the horizon, he’s lost. Off somewhere else. 

“Nothing, bro! Not everything is that simple.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Neteyam sees the wooden cup of strong drink pushed toward him but he declines. Drinking is the last thing he needs right now, although it is tempting. These past two days have been pure torture and sorrow. Washing every clouding thought away with the swig of fermented fruit would surely keep his mind off of you for a while, but it would never stop the permanent ache in his chest. 

Although Neteyam knows he must look awful because even his father encourages him to drink, despite the duties he is set to carry out the next day. Most nights he is advised to keep his wits about him, but Jake has let up since the event. 

“There has to be something I could’ve said. Perhaps something I can say now.” 

“Bro, you’ve already said more than enough. If your constant notes and begging haven’t got her to let you into the hut, I don’t think words are the problem here.” A grimace is etched into Lo’ak’s features but Neteyam turns away from the sight. He can’t handle the look of pity that his family seems to constantly be shooting him. 

He looks miserable. He is miserable. Every Na’vi with eyes can see that much. However, he doesn’t want sympathy. He needs solutions. A plan that will set things right again. Anything to bring his littler start back into his arms. 

“Ma Teyam,” Neteyiri gently coos, haunching forward to tuck on the tangled braids behind his ear. “Perhaps it is time to give her some space.” 

Usually his mother’s presence has the power to soothe away the worst of his worries, but today all he can do is sigh at her words. Sitting in problems has never been his strong suit. Neteyam is used to problem solving. Coming up with a strategy and executing it until the issue is nothing but a distant memory. He prays to Eywa that this too will become just that. Something that can be laughed at down the road.

However, sitting here now surrounded by people and never feeling more lonely, it’s hard to imagine ever laughing at such a thing. 

Neteyam continues to pick at the grass next to the untouched meal. The sun has been down for over an hour now. Dinner is wrapping up and there is still no sight of you…again. Every crunch of a leaf or flitter of voices has him turning to search for your small frame in the darkness. It’s an effort that leaves him empty handed every time but, no matter the frequency of failure he can’t stop himself from whipping his head around anyway. 

“You know, there was a time that I was upset with your father. Livid, actually. And yet here we are today.” Neytiri almost purrs, trying to comfort her son.

“Yeah and did he wait around and give you space?” The words come out harsher than intended but Neytiri doesn’t tell him off like usual. Instead her ears pin back and she runs a thumb across his cheek. Jake and Neytiri lock eyes from across the fire, a silent communication that has Jake clearing his throat. 

“I’m not sure if I’m the prime example in this scenario, kid.” A deep chuckle accentuates Jake’s words. He goes to close his mouth and leave it at that but his mate sends him one fierce look that lets him know he is far from done comforting their eldest. “I mean uh truth be told, I was an absolute knucklehead before I met your mother.”

“Still are.” She corrects him. 

Jake doesn’t try to fight against the claim, but he does nervously clasp the back of his neck, searching for the right words to say. 

“Tanhi still hasn’t eaten. Must go.” Neteyam abruptly calls, on his feet within a heartbeat. He gently cradles his untouched meal in the palm of his hand as he navigates his way out of the circle of his family. Neytiri sighs and Jake sends her an apologetic look as they watch their son slither off into the night once again. 

Even Tuk sends sad eyes in the direction of her older brother as he walks away. 

Upon reaching the dark curtains of your hut, Neteyam is unsure whether or not you still reside inside. There is no sign of light emanating inwards. For a moment he is convinced that you have slipped out during his absence, but then there is a ruffle of covers that his ears manage to pick up. Stalking forward carefully, he leans in to pick up on every sound possible. 

Even with his alpha hearing, there is little to no noise coming from the hut. Or at least no sound that is useful to him in any way. He wonders what you are up to within those darkened walls. His hindbrain urges him to go inside and find out for himself, cradle you in his arms till there are promises of never leaving again. However, he knows better than that. 

Neteyam waits to be invited in. 

“Tanhi?” The sound echoes through the night air, but no response comes. With a sigh he kneels down by the entrance, cautiously pushing the leaf underneath the thick rim of fabric.

“You missed dinner again.” Neteyam knows he shouldn’t expect a response at this point, but his tail still naturally droops to the floor when one doesn’t come. “I brought some for you.” 

He waits once more, but silence hangs heavy in the air. Neteyam’s ears twitch to focus in on the minute sounds again. The shallow breathing is confirmation enough of your presence. A part of him almost wishes that he is talking to a blank piece of fabric. If you had left then he could have at least spent that anxious energy scouring the forest for your slim frame. If you had left it would give him hope that you’ve hunted, eaten, gone on a walk. Anything that isn’t sitting in your hut. 

“Do me a favor, baby. Please eat something. Maybe you have been when I’m not breathing down your neck,” He gives a humorless laugh. “But…I just want to make sure you’re healthy. I’m starting to get worried.”

When the silence continues he doesn’t leave immediately. The weight of the stress and heartache is tangible. He can feel it in his bones. He can sense it when in the lag of his maneuvers and movements during flight in his training. Truth be told, Neteyam is sure that it’s visible to others, shining through in his trudging walk to and fro. 

Sitting here in the grass, the same place he had spent that first night you started icing him out, he can feel the weight of sleep pulling him downwards. The muscles of his body scream in protest at every movement. Physically his body is ready to give way, but his hindbrain weaves together signs of distress all night long. 

His instincts yearn to be close to you again, close to his mate who he shares a special connection with that nothing can replace. At times it is painful, that bond between the two of you. Neteyam remembers many days where that connection has been physically fortified by your time together, binding tighter with every brush of his fingers along your skin. However, he did not anticipate the effects of the opposite reaction. 

Going to sleep alone and cold, leaves a heavy weight on his chest. At times it feels almost suffocating. Sleeping outside of your hut doesn’t erase these pains, but it does dull them slightly. He wonders if you’ve ever stepped over him during his slumber. Actively trying to or not, his senses remain on high alert throughout the night. He can wake at the drop of a leaf, false hope that it may be your small form finally stepping past those heavy curtains. 

“Neteyam.” His head whips around at the voice, but it isn’t your honey timber that flits through his ears. Instead it comes from behind him, where Kiri stands with her hands woven together in front of her. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Not bothering to answer, she instead motions for him to follow her. He glances back at the entrance of your hut, but one look at Kiri’s down turned lips has him groggily shifting back onto his feet. She doesn’t speak till the two of them are out of ear shot. 

“Mom and Dad sent you?” Neteyam guesses, tail already drooping between his legs. It bothers him that his parents are rushing to bandage things up, treating him like a child. Advice is appreciated at the best of times, but this is his life. He is an adult, and has been for years now. The rift that has been fortified between you two is his problem to solve and therefore his choice on how to fix it. 

“No, just thought I would save you from making a fool of yourself.”  She continues to effortlessly lead him away from the hut. 

“I’m just dropping some food off.”

“I know.” There is no hint of mocking or disbelief in her tone. She simply grabs his hand gently and guides him back along the path home. Neteyam braces himself for a spew of advice but it never comes. Kiri to his surprise is silent, no hint of tension lingering between them. Still, he knows what message is being conveyed. No matter how much it hurts, he can’t continue to barricade your front door. 

It’s moments like these that Neteyam comes to truly admire how much his younger sister has grown up. She prances through the forest with a humble confidence. Each step taken with the certainty of belonging. Kiri no longer needs others to tell her who she is. Similarly she feels no need to press her opinions on her older brother. She waits patiently. As if she knows that he will come to her when the time is right.

It is a quality he looks upon with great fondness and gratitude. 

Life has thrown you more obstacles than you care to count. This condition has been a stumbling block your entire life, but you refuse to let it keep you from the finishing line. You consider yourself a persevering person, one that is not easily taken down. When things get difficult you have always been taught to gather your bearings and get to work. Some sacrifices are painful but meant to be left behind if they are keeping you from fulfilling a happy and purposeful life. 

So for the first few days, you try to get back into your normal routine. The first night was spent weaving baskets together through the blurred vision of your tears. The basket came out looking like it had been mauled by a Palulukan. Regardless you continued to attempt getting back into your old routine, however those were usually filled with night hunts, an activity you were terrified of seeing Neteyam at. So you declined. 

However, truth be told, it only takes twenty four hours to realize that this heartbreak is intruding upon everything you do. You open your eyes as sunset turns to Eclipse and the first thing that surfaces is the dread at needing to go to communal dinner. So, you push dinner off. Neteyam is persistent in bringing you a plate each night, usually saying a few apologies and begging once again for you to come out. 

Your lips are raw and sore from biting into them in order to keep sobs at bay every time he comes to visit. Those first few nights he spent laying outside your hut was an awful mixture of longing and agony. His potent essence was easily carried through the night wind, constantly bringing it to your senses. You had twisted in the thin blankets on your hammock to stop yourself from going out there and cuddling next to him. 

On the third night, he doesn’t stay. 

You expect to feel relieved when he silently sets the serving of food down and leaves.

And yet, there is a part of you that longs for the draw of his smooth voice, no matter how distraught and rough it has become over the past few days. A part of you seems to also intrinsically sense his presence, even in the midst of slumber. Now that he spends his nights away from your hut, the emotional turmoil has become too much to handle.  

Simple tasks pose as daunting accomplishments, ones that already feel like impending defeat. So, you slowly start losing those habits too. Your eyes run out of tears to shed so instead you spend more than a reasonable amount of time pondering on your life. You consider what it is that brought you to these circumstances, questioning whether or not you were the one to blame for this heartbreak. Perhaps, you were the one easily swayed into promises of fairy tales. 

Before you know it a whole week has passed and you haven’t stepped foot outside. Recognizing this fact makes you feel pathetic and helpless, something that you don’t take a liking to. So, with red rimmed eyes and a congested nose, you take up a new purpose. Wielding together weapons from the materials in your hut. 

Although they’re nothing to gawk at, the finished results are enough to convince yourself that you are contributing to the welfare of the clan. The steps are repetitive and allow your thoughts to wander while doing so. By the second week you have donated a fair amount to the hunting parties without having to leave your home, thanks to the kindness of your mother. 

Your parents drop in frequently, but it’s obvious that they too find these visits painful. It’s an emotional ball and chain to see you wither away into something different. Visits that used to be full of vibrant laughter and storytelling now consist mostly of their own updates and pleas for you to come outside. Each time you assure them that you will…soon. 

It’s not a lie, at least not to you. 

Despite the physical ache of your heart every time you think of Neteyam’s smiling face and the bond that is now nothing but dust between you, there is still hope in your heart. A hope that someday you will recover from these lovesick feelings and finally be able to look upon the Omatikaya prince as any other clan member would. Purpose will return to your everyday tasks and Neteyam will only reside in your mind as Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya. 

Still, you would be naive to ignore the weighted awareness of his presence that consumes you every time he comes to drop meals off. You can sense him before his footsteps are even audible. Occasionally, he will say a few encouraging words or promises of solution but some nights he simply places the food there and stares at it sadly before disappearing once more. Both instances strangle your heart in their grasp. 

You thought that his scent would lessen once the bond was broken, but you figure it is alpha status to thank for always sending his essence of fresh pine through your hut at each visit. In some ways it feels like the only full breaths you took. The woven walls still allow air in, but only breezes warped with his scent remind you of being outside. 

It’s on the two week mark that there is a shift in the miserable routine. No meal is brought to the entryway. Hours go by and Neteyam never comes by. You’ve been living off of those nightly meals and while one meal is not hardly enough to maintain a status of full health, its loss is even worse. At first, it appears that Neteyam has given up. He is tired of chasing after you and rightfully so you suppose. This is meant to be a step in the right direction, but you cry yourself to sleep that night. Apparently, your body had an extra storage of tears after all. 

However, when it happens again, your theories start to change. A small slice of fruit is left outside on a leaf by the curtains in place of a meal. It’s delicious with juice squirting along your tongue in a dramatic symphony of taste. It’s the type of experience that leaves one wanting for more. Initially you are disappointed when the small piece is gone, but you remember where this food comes from. It would only take a five minute walk to approach the communal fire and snatch some away for yourself. 

Only moments away from dipping outside that entry way for the first time in two weeks, you have another thought. 

Neteyam only put one piece.

Would it not have been easier to leave a whole fruit rather than take the time to cut and separate one morsel of it onto a leaf as an offering.

It wasn’t an offering, it was an enticement. 

You stay behind, trying to forget the sweet tang of the dessert. 

Sure enough the suspicion is correct when the next night one piece of wrapped chocolate is left outside with a note.

Found this during the raid this week. There’s a whole bag left sitting in my hut. Let me know if you want some more.

-Neteyam 

The chocolate is a tiny ball wrapped in a red textured material that is unfamiliar to Pandora. Chocolate is something you never knew of before Neteyam. However, now it has become one of your all time favorite delicacies, especially with the rarity of its availability. Neteyam took a great liking to showing you around the outpost and the stocked treasures they were stealing from the old Hell’s Gate post and the new trains they were constantly raiding. He would explain the random customs and stories of Sky People that he hears from his father while carefully unwrapping the delicious pieces for you. 

Some days you would even have him read some of the English text, whether from the wrappers or other books that are kept around the outpost for the human scientists to enjoy at their leisure. You never understand a word of what he says, but the sounds are fascinating to hear in Neteyam’s familiar timber. Although the Mother Tongue of the Sky Demons, you’ve always been fascinated by Neteyam’s ability to speak it. Something very distinctly attractive about his extra abilities. 

You sigh and thumb at the round ball of chocolate. It melts on your tongue, creating an explosion of sweet smooth sensations. Leave it to Neteyam to try and lure you out through your love of chocolate. That night you flatten out the wrapper, running your thumb over the English text that appears as nothing more than scribbles to you. It serves as a painful reminder of the golden memories the two of you have shared. 

It remains clamped in your fist the entire day.

Heavy eyelids blinking open slowly, you can still feel the strange texture of that wrapper between your fingers. Contrary to your lack of activity, your body feels sore. Every muscle seems to be wound the wrong way and the air in your hut feels moist and stuffy. Stretching out, your foot hits the food supplies basket you keep and knocks it over. You stumble to put the object away, or rather you try to before you realize that it’s empty.

The last of your supplies is gone. 

Regardless of your feelings and fears, you need to go outside today. It’s time to face the music. 

Your toes curl and feet flex before carefully shifting to stand. Pushing aside clusters of baskets and tools you finally breach the front entryway of your hut. Expecting the air to have cooled down by now, your skin prickles strangely at the feeling of heat against your back. You rush to throw off whatever blanket or item of clothing that must have stuck to you but then your eyes are blinded. Sheer light invades your vision, drenching every sight in white. 

Stumbling across the forest floor, it truly takes you more than a moment to understand what is happening. The harsh light, the foreign heat. This is sunlight.

A pure beam of sunlight that has not disappeared behind the moon yet. 

Your delayed reaction finally allows you to search for the entryway and try to scramble towards safety but it’s impossible to see with the brightness of the world turned up to one hundred. Your eyes can’t manage to stay open for more than a second, each time feeling a burning sensation that is unbearable. Soon, though, it seems to be too late as your limbs grow heavy and your skin heats uncomfortably. Even when that last ray of sunshine disappears, your body continues to torment you with a rising heat.

The sensations become too much. The weight of your own head drags you down. The world spins around you in disorienting directions. Only a glimpse of blue skin is caught before you collapse into someone’s arms and the world turns blissfully black again. 

“Move before I kick you out.” Mo’at warns, but her tone holds a morsel of sympathy despite the strict instruction. 

You are laid out along the mat of her healer’s tent with half the Sully family gathered around. Neteyam can hardly keep his hands off of you, constantly checking to see if you have cooled down yet. Each time renders him disappointed, ears folding back against his head. Mo’at is quickly losing patience as she is constantly swatting the boy away in order to apply the series of healing balms. 

“She’s burning up.” He protests, but finally moves out of her way. His idle hands find a new place along his knees where the blunt nails dig into his skin. Kiri and Tuk surround their brother but are careful to not impede too much on his space. His panicked dread rolls off of him in waves, a palpable tension that can be felt by everyone in the tent. 

“How long was she exposed?” 

“I don’t know. Can’t be more than a few minutes maybe. She was hardly past the entrance when I found her…I….is she going to be ok?” His voice cracks as tears finally well up over his golden orbs. Tuk places her small hand on his shoulder. 

“Only the Great Mother knows that.” She pauses, looking up to see her grandson’s crumbling composure. “She is hot. Her temperature needs to drop significantly.” 

The message doesn’t seem to settle on Neteyam. His gaze continues to focus on your unconscious face.

“Neteyam.” His head finally snaps up at his grandmother’s stern voice. “Go fetch me cold water from the river.” A basin is handed to the alpha but she can already tell there is reluctance in his expression. 

“Now.” It’s harsher than Mo’at would like to be but she knows that getting the concerned alpha outside of the tent is essential for her to complete the healing rituals. His presence is a distraction that has her own emotions tugging her away from the work at hand. 

Neteyam purses his lips and sends one last glance towards you. He cradles your cheek and leans down to softly press a kiss to your forehead, whispering promises to return. Then finally, he rushes out of the tent, driven by the given task. 

The hours rush and drag simultaneously for Neteyam. It becomes difficult to believe that it has already been a full twenty four hours and yet every minute that your eyes are not open feels like a year to him. Jake recruits Norm and some of the other scientists to take a look at you in the outpost. Moat is naturally displeased by the change at first but even she can’t deny that the old metal portable is a safer place for you to hide from the sun. Thick blankets and rugs are hung over the windows to keep the rays of sunshine out. 

Between the expertise of the scientists with their modern technology and the healing powers of Tsahik, things begin to look grim when there is little to no change in your state. Neteyam becomes increasingly more tense with every passing hour that yields no result. At some point his family stops trying to convince him to take breaks. Tuk takes it upon herself to gather and deliver a good serving from the communal fire for her older brother at every meal. 

Kiri is constantly teetering between helping her grandmother wrap cooling salves of thick leaves on your skin and foraging through the forest for different materials that could be used to create various healing ointments. 

Lo’ak tries to provide his brother with some pleasant company. If not that, then at least an annoying younger brother that can keep his mind off the matter for a few minutes. He tells jokes and shares random stories, usually featuring young alphas and the things their idiotic pride leads them to do. He has a plethora of these events saved up, having been training the new batch of future warriors almost daily. Those stories shift to other couples’ drama and fights when Neteyam laments over the past few weeks, assuring his brother that rough patches are normal in relationships and that perhaps he is not the worst skxawng to be found in the forest. 

Jake and Neytiri watch the scene with sorrowful eyes, discussing in the privacy of their home what needs to be done for their son and you. 

At hour thirty six, you begin to squirm. Every muscle seems to creek with each movement, seemingly as rusty and worn as the door to the outpost that takes an extra shove to open. It’s the burning heat that you notice next. It seems to travel along your veins and cover you in a suffocating cloud. It brings on feelings of almost claustrophobic symptoms. 

Finally, the flutter of your lashes reveal your golden eyes to the synthetic lighting of the outpost makeshift hospital wing. Only one electric light is turned on down the hallway. The rest of the ambience comes from lit candles scattering the surfaces around you. Their flicker is soft and soothing, but it’s the familiar scent of timber and pine that has your muscles finally relaxing. 

The surface beneath your head is cool to the touch, you rub your cheek against it. 

“Tanhi.”

That soft makeshift pillow is his thigh. Your already burning cheeks seem to reach new levels of inflamed rose color as you drowsily look up at him.

“You’re awake.” His voice is thick with emotion, almost choking the sounds from his throat. On its own volition your hand shakily reaches up to swipe away the tear traveling down his cheek. His skin is cool to the touch, such a different contrast to the usual warmth that you remember radiating off of him in your nights together. Your thin arm shakes from the strain of holding it upwards, he grabs your wrist gently and reluctantly helps you lower it back to your side. 

“Yes.” The sound comes out more hoarse and gravelly than you anticipated. You clear your throat before continuing. “How long have I been out?” 

“Over a day.”

A few moments of sunlight and suddenly a day and a half has been taken from you. It’s a lot to process, especially with the hazy pounding assaulting your head with every moment. The usual strength and energy in your body seems to have greatly dissipated, leaving you feeling as nothing but a shell of your normal self. Your attempt at sitting up is not only hindered by the strain of your abs but also cut short by Neteyam’s large hands gently pushing you back down. 

“No no Tanhi, just rest. Don’t strain yourself.” It’s too easy to settle your head back onto his welcoming lap. A small voice at the back of your head warns you of reversing all the progress that has been made, but it seems insignificant when Neteyam begins to tenderly brush his fingers through your hair. Nothing can take away the ache of your body and heat of your blood boiling but his touch does finally stir your heartbeat into a steady rhythm. It’s as if a weight is lifted off of you as your senses become filled with his essence. Every point of contact between you is like fire and ice. He is the ice that you welcome greatly, the only thing that seems to relieve the burning along your skin. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, eyes almost closed once more. 

“Whatever for, love?”

“I don’t mean to trouble you. I should’ve been more diligent, tracking the sun’s cycle..” Your lungs seize into a painful invisible grip, forcing a coughing fit to begin. Neteyam is quick to shush your sentence away and help you get some cool water down. His large hand rests over the heat of your forehead. The eldest Sully frowns down at you, no doubt still feeling the evidence of your raging fever. 

“Hush, Tanhi. There’s no place I would rather be right now.” 

You watch the shadows dance across lines of his collarbones and sharp features as he prepares another cool wrap to lay across your forehead. The grip you have on conscious thought is weak, but even at your mental peak you are sure that there is nothing more beautiful than the man above you. His harsh and sharp features that frame those kind and insightful eyes. He has an ethereal beauty that has always captured you. 

 “You’re going to be ok.” It’s unclear whether or not the sentiment is meant for you or rather himself. His hairless brows pinch into those familiar clenched lines. You recognize them from days he would come home to, the evidence of his still racing thoughts clearly etched into his features. 

Through the constant ache of your body and heat that tries to lure you to sleep, it takes you a moment to recognize the pheromones drifting off of him. You’re surprised to find that you can still identify the shift of emotions through his essence. Supposedly your sense of smell is better than you thought for a beta. The curling sadness and anxiety that comes off of him in waves, however, is something you wish could not be so easily detected. It is foreign and strange when mixed with his calming perfume. Neteyam isn’t usually one easily frazzled. 

Neteyam settles a clear plastic over your mouth and it takes a moment before you recognize it as the Avatar oxygen masks. The air filtered through it is clearer and more readily accepted by your lungs. After a few breaths you nod at him and he pulls it away again. 

Silence ensues. You yearn to break it with some semblance of an apology or explanation, but the words never come. Your body has other ideas as it drifts in and out of consciousness. Several times you wake to see another member of the Sully family perched next to Neteyam. However, the oldest Sully child never leaves. The hold you have on time becomes almost nonexistent as you slip back and forth between reality and fever induced dreams.

 Eventually you begin to wake periodically in Neteyam’s arms, head laying on his chest or coddled in his lap. Each time you consider saying something, knowing that he is no longer your mate. You have no claim on him and therefore no right to use him in this way, but his skin is cool and calms the sizzling heat upon your own. The very idea of creating distance between you two causes a spike of anxiety to take hold. 

It would be all too easy to blame this on your fever and the aid he provides, even in your state of watered down thought you know the truth. There is a yearning to be close to him again. To feel the gentle caresses that line your lips and cheeks as you sleep. To fall into a fantasy where the two of you never split, convincing yourself that today is simply a small sick day where your mate pampers you. The natural instincts of your beta nature furthermore aches for the calming presence of an alpha. Even the simple actions of his rising and falling chest that contains a steady heartbeat lulles your nature into a submissive calm. 

It is such a dramatic contrast to the empty abyss that has replaced your heart over the past few weeks. Falling into Neteyam feels natural, as expected as the waves that crash against the shore. It’s an ironic feeling to have considering the most inconvenient and problematic characteristics of your relationship. He was never meant to be yours. 

You chant those words in your head, willing them to echo true. 

This time, your eyes flutter lazily open to the feeling of his slim tail wrapping itself around your upper thigh. With creaky drowsiness you look up to find him fast asleep, lips parted softly with shallow breaths escaping soundlessly. Sprawled across him, head on his chest, this position resembles that of your usual sleeping position together. Or at least, what it used to be. Before the first cracks of dawn you would slip back into the tent and gently fall into his dozing embrace. It was not uncommon to find his tail slink around one of your limbs possessively all while never stirring from his unconscious state. 

Looking around the dingy outpost, it’s just the two of you. The plastic material of the mask around your neck feels uncomfortable around your heated skin. You find a matching one around Neteyam’s own throat. Although showing no signs of struggling breathing, you gently place it against his lips. When the clear oxygen filtered through his lips, Neteyam stirs.

You contemplate faking sleep when his ears twitch and eyes slowly open, but they immediately land on you. 

“Yawne.” Neteyam groans, voice thick with sleep. The deep rumble of his morning voice always makes your stomach do somersaults. “How are you feeling, Tanhi?” 

His ears pin back when you veer away from his efforts to cup your cheek. 

“A bit better.” Your arms tremble as they push against Neteyam pectorals to try and sit up properly. Despite his gentle protests, you finally manage to remain upright for the first time in days. The room spins around you. It’s only by the grace of Neteyam’s hands supporting your back that you remain sitting. “What time is it?” 

It feels like night but then again the heavy blankets over the outpost windows would show no indication of broad daylight if present. 

“Middle of the night.” 

“Then I should go.” Your feet are barely planted on the ground before Neteyam is pulling you back into his arms. 

“You don’t really think I’m going to let you out there in this condition, do you?” His chest rumbles with a stern timber, but his hold is tender and gentle. You are tempted to roll your eyes at the protective behavior, but you’re worried that doing so would put the room back into orbit again. 

“You need rest.” 

“I can rest at home.” 

“Like hell you will.” Neteyam scoffs, using another phrase he so commonly picks up from his father. You can practically feel the protective growl that yearns to climb up his throat, but a sigh comes out in its place. “You’re shaking, Tanhi. Let me take care of you.” 

His knuckles graze your cheek delicately, sending a cool shiver along your shoulders. 

“I don’t think that is a good idea.” 

Neteyam’s hand stills before dropping heavily to his lap. The heated breath coming from his lips tickles at the back of your neck. Were it not for your already trembling form you are sure that his presence alone would erupt goosebumps and shivers along your body. The pressing weight of silence is dizzying, tempting you to lay back down. You can practically hear the cogs in his head turning at a rapid pace. 

“Please just hear me out for a moment.”

Turning around to face him takes more effort than you would like to admit. Seeing those sad golden eyes without melting takes even more. 

“Five minutes is all I ask.” You hesitate, biting your bottom lip. “And if by the end of it you are sick of hearing from me then I promise I will leave you alone. My grandmother will take over caring for you and I will…respect your wishes.” His words are strangled, that suffocating dread pulling his features into a deep frown. 

“Ok.” 

The shimmer of hope is barely visible in his shining eyes but it still wrenches your heart. 

“My entire life has been about being Olo’eyktan. I’ve watched my father lead the people since I could barely walk and since then I have always known that someday that would be me. I wake up every day and the first thought that comes to mind is what needs to be done in order to become the mighty leader that everyone expects me to be. For a long time I’ve thought that my path was already decided by Eywa. Find an omega suitable of being tsahik, settle down with her, and lead till my son can take over. I was ok with that, I’d accepted my fate.” Neteyam shifts to his knees, fingernails digging slightly into his own thighs. Apprehension spoils his scent, creating a new mixture you are unfamiliar with. It’s then that you realize you’ve never seen Neteyam nervous before. 

“Then I met you.” 

Your eyes dart to the laminate floor. 

“I…I’m usually a lot better with words.” He chuckles nervously while rubbing the back of his neck. “It occurred to me recently that I’ve been negligent in our relationship. I never truly explained why I chose you. Why you are the person I can’t live without. Perhaps if I had we wouldn’t be in this situation now.” 

“Neteyam it’s not-”

“Please let me finish, Tanhi.” 

You nod softly, careful to not increase the already blooming headache pounding at your skull. 

“I’ve never met anyone like you.” A weak snort transforms into a cough raking up your throat. “I don’t mean because of ailment, yawne.” He clarifies and you suddenly feel embarrassed for assuming so quickly. Neteyam pauses his little speech to reach behind and once again carefully bring a cup of water to your parched lips. Gratefully, you let the cool substance slink down your throat to soothe the scratchy ache. 

Once he seems to be sure that another fit is not about to come on, Neteyam continues. 

“You have this unyielding spirit, determined to forage through any storm. Eywa herself puts you in the shadows and you conquer the terrain. The air around you hums with a quiet confidence that is…” He searches for the right word. “Intoxicating.” 

A laugh escapes your lips and yet you feel nothing resembling humor. Your hairless eyebrows scrunch in disbelief. Neteyam shows no acknowledgment of your reaction as he instead puts the mask back against your mouth. 

“I’ve been drawn to you since that first night hunt. Surely, that isn’t a secret.” He laughs into his own mask that is raised to his lips. If only he knew how oblivious you were to his intentions those first few weeks. “You’re fiercely determined and independent yet hold a gentle empathy and kindness for those around you that I could only ever hope to imitate. And stubborn too.” Neteyam chuckles with a shake of his head. “Fucking stubborn enough to tell a dumb alpha like me off, consequences be damned.” 

Your lungs can only manage a simple huffed laugh, but the corners of your lips are already turning upwards subconsciously. 

“When I’m around you,” His eyes pierce through you. “I can finally bear that weighted pressure of expectations on my chest. You make it light.” Neteyam leans forward and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your upturned ear. “My little star.” 

Your cheeks are damp and it is only then that you realize tears drops have been escaping your eyes. Neteyam thumbs them away with tender care. 

“I’ve grown accustomed to sacrificing whatever it takes to become Olo’eyktan. I’ve written my life off as not my own. I’ve given everything I can and could in order to fulfill this role. You are the only thing that I can not sacrifice. And maybe that is selfish of me, but I also know that without you I’m simply a shell of the man I am with you.” 

“I could never be Olo’eyktan without you by my side.” 

“But how am I supposed to be beside you when I can’t even step a foot into the sun without falling apart at the seams?” 

“You truly think that I haven’t thought about that, yawne?” Neteyam’s lips quirk into an amused smile. “I guess now would be a good time to tell you that Lo’ak and I have been building a black out healers tent.” You gape at him. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I suppose I should’ve known better than to think I could pull one over on you.” 

It’s foolish, you tell yourself. Another darkened tent doesn’t solve all of the problems. It doesn’t erase the strain this relationship would have on Neteyam or allow you to operate during the daytime hours, unless you are content to remain in the tent for all of your days. And yet, there is a sliver of hope growing in your bosom. 

“Nete, I don’t know what to say.” His braids swing over the intense eyes that focus on your every move. He’s tense, ready to jump in at the notice of resistance. “But, I can’t live my life in a dark tent.” 

“Of course not. I’m talking about a compromise. Lo’ak, he takes over in the mornings while you and I start the day in the midafternoons. Tsahik duties in the tent for a few hours and then the rest of the night spent together. Leading together. Hunting together.” The dopey grin that spreads upon his lips is fiercely adamant in capturing your heart once more. It takes everything in you to not reach out and pinch the mighty warrior’s cheek. A notion Neteyam is known to reprimand with a playful glare. 

“You make it sound so simple.” It’s too much to meet his gaze. You prefer the view of the worn down tiles as you take another calming breath from the mask. The pace of your heart is evermore increasing and part of you wonders if this conversation has the ability to make you faint. 

A hand beneath your chin gently prods you to look back up again. He whispers your name, soft but clear in the quiet outpost.

“We have a choice.”

The words weigh heavy in the air, drawing your ears to perk forward in anticipation. 

“I know that may sound like a lie to you. However, if there is anyone that understands their life being determined from birth, it’s you. You and I have been pushed and kept into our respective boxes, taught to dream of only the realistic paths ahead of us.”

You wish to say it’s untrue, but any other reality has been stripped away from you from your first breath and morphed into only that of fairy tales. 

“We get to choose whether or not we believe that. I’ve accepted my destiny, Tanhi, but I can not bring myself to see my journey walking besides anyone that’s not you. I’ve already chosen. You are what I will not sacrifice.” Neteyam’s calloused fingers weave into your hair, hands on the sides of your head. 

“It’s your turn, Tanhi. What do you choose?”

“Is that your definition of fumbling words?” Your chuckle is choked with tears. Neteyam’s short laughter joins your own, his lips already starting to spread into that smile you adore so much. 

The past few weeks have been a constant building of that fortress around your heart. You’ve tried to convince yourself over and over again that the two of you parting ways is for the best. These mantras have ripped your heart out and left you in a state of empty sadness, but they also have created a sturdy wall, one that is hard to crumble. Naturally, it is Neteyam that ever stands a chance at breaking through. Sweet Neteyam that knows you so thoroughly that he doesn’t require brute force to get through, he finds a hold from the inside, reading you like a book until there is nothing left for you to hide. 

This experience has been a draining uphill battle, but one that you have embarked on because you’ve been convinced that the right thing to do is often the hard thing. However, now, the story shifts. You are left wondering if perhaps this whole time, running away is not the hard thing at all. It’s staying that proves to be the most difficult battle to fight. It’s staying that requires your heart to be opened and at the mercy of failure and disappointment. Leaving Neteyam isn’t the noble cause you once thought it to be. 

It’s hiding. 

“You really have some nerve calling me stubborn.” You try to joke, but tears are already cascading down your cheeks at an alarming rate and you can tell Neteyam is seconds away from scooping you back into his lap. 

“Well I admit being stubborn has its reward sometimes.” He quirks an eyebrow at you. “Perhaps it’s paid off for me this time?” 

“Perhaps.” You smile coyly at him. It takes bracing a stabilizing hand against the floor to stop yourself from falling over when you lean forward but it’s worth the exhilarating feeling of his lips against yours once more. 

Neteyam is cautious and gentle, moving his lips softly in sync with yours, but you can feel the restraint it takes for him not to swallow you whole. However, you are still healing so Neteyam treats you the way you expect any alpha to: like a delicate flower. Your own tears wet the canvas of both of your cheeks and it takes a moment to realize that small droplets are falling from Neteyam’s eyes too.

The kiss is warm and tender. Relief washes through your body in a wave that makes you realize how much pain you truly were in. How even the very bones in your body finally lose their ache when Neteyam slips an arm around your back to bring you closer. 

You’re forced to break the kiss earlier than desired as Neteyam can feel the way your body lags to get air into its lungs. The soft pants that leave your lips are soon encased by the mask that the alpha slips over your mouth once more. The warmth of his gaze beaming down on you spreads across your chest and lights another fire along your skin. 

“Come home, Neteyam.” You whisper softly. His forehead leans against your own, those golden orbs still shimmering with unshed tears. 

“Always, Tanhi.” 

The hours float by in a happily dazed dream afterwards. Neteyam’s touch starved state comes fully into the light as he is constantly keeping a point of contact between you two. It’s obvious that his alpha hindbrain has gone off the wall after being apart for so long and furthermore trying to care for you without going too far. Now that the green light has been given, Neteyam is constantly wrapping his body around your own smaller form till you are almost completely encapsulated by him. 

Truthfully, you have no objections. In fact, even your own instincts push you towards readily accepting and initiating any forms of affectionate touch. It further helps that Neteyam’s skin is cool to the touch in comparison to your own raging feverish skin. 

Within half a day your wellbeing has greatly increased after the constant nurturing of your overprotective alpha, who seems to be constantly slipping water, food, medicine, or mask given air past your lips. Mo’at is greatly pleased when your temperature begins to return back to its former state and there is a greater strength present in your body. Still, she instructs you to lay low for another day as a precaution. 

Neteyam is more than happy to keep you to himself for another day. Watching you come close to the brink of death has his primal urges dialed to eleven. You have to scold him every now and then when his younger brother comes to visit and Neteyam thanks him with an aggressive hiss and tucking you safely into his arms and away from the ‘threat’. 

It’s borderline shocking to see his strong reactions considering the severed bond between the two of you. That is, until you find the truth.

“I admit, it might’ve been selfish Tanhi but I couldn’t bring myself to cut our tie before knowing that I had tried everything possible to get you back.”

He had looked up at you with a guilty composure but after everything the two of you had been through you couldn’t hide your relief and joy in finding out that this bond had still survived the heartache. It also provides a greater explanation to your own body's willingness to melt into him with or without a resolution. Now, though, you are content to let him have his fun babying you for one day more and revill in the renewed connection the two of you share.  

This time when you awake in the newly hung hammock inside of the outpost (Neteyam had used every angle possible to convince the human scientists to let him temporarily take up the space) you’re surprised to find your mate’s skin hot against your own. His thumping heartbeat rickets in your eardrums but instead of rocking you to sleep, the sound sends shivers down your spine. 

Neteyam is blissfully unaware of your consciousness as your own heart starts to speed up. Shifting your leg, it’s a surprise to feel a sticky texture lining the inside of your loincloth. Blood rushes to your cheeks when you realize the source of this substance. Bashfully you’re relieved to see Neteyam is still asleep, allowing your arousal to remain a private humiliation. 

With the cautiousness of a sneaking Palulukan, you attempt rolling off of the hammock and out of his arms to take care of your little problem. It’s only halfway rolling over to your side when the Omatikaya prince shifts and spoons you from behind. All plans are immediately thwarted when his muscular thigh slips between your splayed legs innocently. However, the pressure it incidentally puts against your clit brings forth feelings that are anything but innocent. 

A veiny forearm easily clamps around your waist to pull you back against his chest. The act rubs his thighs against your clothed folds so suddenly, that it brings a whimpered moan from your lips. Breath hitched in your throat, you wait to see if Neteyam stirs. He shows no sign of waking so you try to scoot your heated core away from his thigh slyly. 

Not only are these efforts unrewarded but also bring a tinge of sadness coursing through you. It’s a strange wave of emotion that follows. Arousal quickly windles into full blown desperation within a few heartbeats. The sensations are overpowering, racing through every surface of your body until all that your mind can focus on is the need to be filled by a mate. 

Filled by Neteyam.

“Oh Great Mother.” You curse quietly. 

Your first heat.

A momentous milestone that your parents have talked to you in great lengths about yet still brings nothing to light on the reality of the experience. You’ve had smaller mini episodes of heat, normal in the beginning of adulthood for Na’vi betas, but it’s only a laughable comparison to the clawing desire taking over your body currently. As a beta you figured that your own heats would be miniscule compared to the laborious heats that plague omegas earlier in their years. 

Involuntarily rocking your clothed core against Neteyam’s thigh you now wonder how these Na’vi have ever survived such a demanding lust and lived to tell the tale. And that is what it feels like. Death if not satisfied. Pain if not satiated. 

Embarrassment is thrown out the window in favor of creating a pleasurable friction against your clit. Hardly ever having experienced touching yourself on the rare occasion, you have no idea what to do. The corded muscle of his relaxed thigh feels better than your usual small fingerings drumming against the bundle of nerves, so you continue to rock back in a desperate rhythm. 

The hammock starts to sway softly with your jutting hips. Some movements are rewarded with a spark of pleasure, only to then be absent on the next rock of your hips. Frustration is quick to brew as you can’t seem to find the right angle and pressure against your core. Shiny slick drenches through the thin fabric and onto the alpha’s thigh. It acts as a lubricant for your journey across his skin, allowing a faster pace to be adopted. 

Your pussy clenches around open air, beckoning for a worthy mate to finally fill and claim you properly. It’s an emptiness that you can only compare to the tingling you have experienced after especially long makeout sessions with Neteyam, but it’s worse. So much worse that it brings tears to your eyes. The only relief is found when a lucky thrust finally has the fabric pushed away from your core and lets your small clit peek out and press against his azure skin. 

Now without any barriers, pure ecstasy wracks through your body. It only amplifies when the muscles flex slightly beneath you, giving just the right amount of pressure against your clit. A knot forms and tightens in your stomach, quickly winding until it feels as if it’s about to snap. It feels almost dirty to realize that your slick has now coated the entirety of Neteyam’s thigh all while he is sleeping and yet it lures you further into a state of arousal than you have ever been before. 

Your own thighs clench harshly around Neteyam’s to trap it against your core. A release clear on the horizon, every effort is put into maintaining that delicious sensation of your clit being assaulted against the muscle. Legs shaking and small squeaks erupting from your throat you chase that feeling relentlessly. 

“Cum, Tanhi.” 

Neteyam’s raspy voice pushes you over the edge with a shocked gasp. His rumbling growl of satisfaction seems to pulse through you in sync with the overwhelming sensations of an orgasm. 

“Good girl.” He praises as your body trembles in the afterglow of release. Neteyam chuckles when a simple flex of his thighs has a whimper spilling your lips. Swirling patterns are drawn by the alpha’s fingers along your sides and arms. 

Mental clarity returns in a flash, allowing the reality of the situation to sink in. You hide your heated face against his arm underneath your head while groaning in humiliation. 

“Nete.” You whine.

“Hush, baby girl. It’s alright, no reason to get all shy on me now.” He coos while swiping your hair away from your cheek to finally have an unobscured view of your blushing face. “Especially not when you make such pretty noises.” 

The words crumble any wall of resistance against the impending heat. Your body yearns for another release, still screaming at you for not being filled with your alpha’s cock yet. A cock that you can feel hardening beneath Neteyam’s loincloth and poking at your lower back. 

“Neteyam, it really hurts.” 

“I know, Tahini, I know.” He soothes, softly kissing your temple while brushing the strands of hair away. “My poor little star. A bit stronger than you expected, hm?” 

When his thigh finally shifts away from your leaking pussy, despite the strength of your clamped legs, a noise of disappointment escapes you. 

“So much worse. Neteyam please!” It’s hard to say what you are begging for specifically, but the alpha is quick to calm your worries with sweet nothings. Your limbs kick out and try to wind around any of his, subconsciously finding ways  to trap his body closer to yours. 

“If you want help, all you have to do is say, yawne. I know how to take care of my girl.” He turns you by the chin to make direct eye contact with him, a silent second measure to make sure this is truly what you desire. Hesitating is far from your mind as you nod and whine out little pleas.

Satisfied with your consent Neteyam grins and begins to descend down your body. Confusion swirls in your eyes when he situates your legs over his shoulders. The sex talk from your parents may not have been that descriptive but you know enough to realize that his cock is nowhere near your drenched entrance. 

“How does that…” You trail off, head tilted to the side. 

“Just need to get your ready first, Tanhi. Want my baby girl to feel good.” Pointed teeth poke out beneath his lips in his open mouth grin. The pads of his fingers tenderly brush and tease along your outer thighs, slowly making their way to your inner. Tingles of anticipation and pleasure trickle up your body. It boggles you how such a light tracing heightens your lust to new levels. 

“How?” 

His face softens and Neteyam coos at you while tucking a strand behind your ear. 

“Just trust me, little star. I promise you’ll like it.” 

So you do, even when his face lowers to your partly clothed mound. Neteyam’s nose presses against your pussy and he sucks in air like a man on the brink of drowning. Your cheeks set aflame at having his face so close to your special place, something you had never considered before. The rumble of power in his hungry growl, however, washes away any insecurity that would plague your mind. 

“Smell so delicious, Tanhi.” He purrs.

Neteyam’s creates a path of wet kisses along your inner thighs. Careful grips on your knees allow him to maneuver your legs into whatever profane position he desires, easy access for his eager tongue and lips. His saliva and your slick become intermixed along the expanse of skin as he takes his time warming you up. Each time his lips come closer to your folds, you whimper needily. Heated lust entraps every thought you have, wondering how long it will be until the two of you finally become one. 

The first nips at your left inner thigh causes you to jump. His eyes look back up at you as the pointed tips of those canines teasingly scrape against your soft skin. 

“Just a little taste, yawne?” He asks, although the smirk along his lips suggests that it is less of a question and rather a warning. 

“A bite? T-there?” 

Neteyam chuckles at your clueless behavior. It’s been known among Na’vi to leave obvious hickeys and bites along one’s mate’s skin, but you’ve always assumed that to only be in places more visible and less…private. Your tail swishes anxiously as you think of those marks being so close to your heated entrance. 

“Yes, baby girl. A little mark to remember me by, hm?” 

A simple nod of your head is all the permission required for Neteyam to continue. He takes one last breath from the hanging mask before picking a spot on your inner thigh where the flesh is supple and tender, licking and kissing and the area in preparation. When his lips close around the plush skin and begin to suck, it sends tendrils of electricity straight to your core. Without even thinking you moan and grab at his hair. You’re stuck between the urge to push his head away and encourage him to suck harder. 

Once released, the skin is left with a pronounced purple mark. One lick is deposited on the spot before his teeth nip and tug at the skin. You squeal and arch your back dramatically, Neteyam moans darkly he has let it fall from between his teeth and begin to soothe the skin with kisses and licks. The entire act scratches a part of your brain that is primal, satisfied by the apparent claim he leaves for all to see. 

“Much better.” His tone drips with pride. “Thank you, Tanhi.” He kisses your knee in gratitude, as if you have given him some sacred gift, and perhaps for him that is true. 

It’s only now that it occurs to you how many times Neteyam has held back from staking his claim on you the way most alphas do. You vaguely remember the indented mark of his own teeth against his bottom lip that would draw blood, especially after you have shared an intimate moment or he saw another male eyeing you for too long. What you had originally shrugged off as a habit now transforms in your mind as an act of self control. 

Neteyam is quick but deliberate with his handy work of undoing the ties around your tail and hips. He slides the fabric away from your pelvis with an attitude of reverence. Cool air against your slick folds feels like a tickling touch that has your lust spiking dramatically. Burning eyes on your most sensitive area is like gasoline to the flames. 

You attempt to clench your thighs together to protect your dignity, but Neteyam hoists them apart and back on his shoulders sternly. 

“None of that, baby girl. Let me see how pretty you are.” 

And there’s something in that phrase and his undivided attention that makes your toes curl. It becomes blatantly obvious that if he doesn’t hurry up and get on with sticking his cock inside your pussy, you will fall apart at the seams before there is even a chance. 

“Neteyam, I’m ready. Please please I’m so ready.” You ramble, willing your legs apart to prepare easier access. Once he is inside everything will be better, although the thought of your virgin walls stretching around him causes a slight tinge of panic to break loose.

“Mawey, my love. It’s about to get good.” 

However, frustration and confusion bubble to the surface again when you see his face lowering back down. 

“No no, Nete. Enough kisses.” You whine. “I need you inside.”  

His brows push up at that, the corners of his lips perking slightly as if hesitant to fully grin.

“Are you sure, my love? We can still wait if you wa-”

“NO! No more waiting! I’m ready now. I need you right now.” 

He calls your name softly, but with a hint of unyielding sternness that lets you know it is important you listen. Even a beta can sense when the time to obey is present.

“You’re heat is a very powerful thing but also fleeting, Tanhi. I don’t want you to make such a big decision purely because of your primal instincts.” It’s a respectful and considerate gesture but your head is shaking before he is even close to finishing. If this man does not take you now, you’re ready to flip him over and sit on his member, inexperience be damned. 

“It’s not. I’ve been ready for weeks. W-was just waiting to tell you. Take me now, stick it in now.” The ringing in your ears, you realize is actually the accelerated blood thumping along the eardrums from your racing heart. It feels as if the speed will be enough to burst your ribcage open. “I’m ready.”

Neteyam watches as your eyes clench shut and hands scrape against the woven material of the hammock. You’re braced and ready for the pain that will ensue upon penetration. 

“Tahni,” Your eyes slowly peek open to see that the alpha hasn’t moved a muscle. “You love me, don’t you?” 

The question throws you off guard, but the answer comes easily.

“Of course.” 

“And you know that I love you?” 

“Yes Neteyam.” Your hips scoot against the fabric, pussy fluttering as it continues to wait for the incoming sensation. 

“And you trust me?” 

“Always, Nete.” 

The alpha hums happily at your response, muttering out a deep ‘good girl’. 

“Then I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing, baby girl. Trust that your alpha will take care of you.” He tenderly brushes his fingers over your soft stomach. “And trust me enough to say if or when something doesn’t feel good.” 

You nod hazily, keenly aware of the tickling sensation of his touch along your hips. 

“That’s my good girl. Now let me get you ready.”

It’s still confusing when you see his head lower towards your navel once more, but you don’t protest this time. He’s right, you do trust him and he does have far more experience with sex than you by far. Your upturned legs are spread even wider by his broad shoulders as he leans closer and lets the tips of his tongue drag over you from belly button to navel. The saliva line goes down further and further until…oh.

It takes his grip on your hips to keep them pressed against the hammock when his tongue brushes over your clit for the first time. It’s a pleasure that is completely foreign to you. Comparable to the spark of dopamine that comes from your small finger teasing the area and yet completely different in intensity. He draws sensual figure eights along the bundle of nerves several times before swooping down to collect more of your arousal between your folds. 

Neteyam is calculated with his exploring, performing in the way of someone who has crafted their art. When his tongue just barely swipes across your entrance your hands fly down to grasp his braids again. This time, however, the only thought on your mind is keeping him down there. His flat nose nudges at your clit with every swipe of his tongue along your pussy. 

“Oh my Eywa!” You screech as that knot is quickly being tied again in your stomach. 

Neteyam on the other hand becomes focused on another knot, tugging at the twine holding your top in place while still working on your pussy with zealous excitement. With your aid, the dangling top is released and falls to the side. His assault on your pussy pauses for him to trail upwards and lick along your quickly hardening peaks. 

“So pretty, Tanhi.” He murmurs against your right nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking. Meanwhile his fingers have taken the place of his tongue and expertly rub your clit. “My pretty little star.” 

Gleeful pride twinkles in his eyes as he looks up at you, a string of saliva connecting his lips to your chest. Your small hands grapple at any part of him you can reach, finding purchase on his flexed bicep that holds himself over you. 

The connecting lines of your thoughts are tangled into a ball of messy hunger and desperation. Never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined such strange things to be so exhilarating. A part of you wonders what else was not included in that sex talk. 

His head is found back between your legs again once your nipples are red and pointed proudly. Neteyam licks, nips and sucks at your pussy like a starved man. Every moan of pleasure releases vibrations that sky rockets through you. It becomes too much to handle. You’ve never felt more fragile in your entire life than when his eyes connect with yours, one eye winking at you, and you fall apart. 

Neteyam’s moan while licking up the white substance pouring from you goes completely unnoticed as the world around you spins and your ears ring. The gravity of this orgasm shakes you to the bones, floodgates of pleasure completely open in your brain. 

Although it feels as if Pandora has slipped out from beneath you, the recovery from this release is swift. Your skin prickles with goosebumps and your pussy hungrily clenches around open air once more. It seems that the monster of a heat inside you grows more insatiable with every second. So when Neteyam covers one finger in the remnants of your juices and starts to prod at your entrance, you’re relieved. 

“You’re doing so good, baby girl. This may feel strange at first, but let me know if it hurts too much.” It’s hard to focus on anything else besides the shiny slick that still coats his chin as he looks at you, but you manage a nod.

It does feel strange at first, your walls incredibly tight. Getting down to the first knuckle is easy but going towards the second proves to feel a little more strained. Regardless, you are happy to find that getting one finger inside is nothing near as painful as expected. Neteyam wiggles the digit and it makes you twitch. Such a strange sensation to be filled but, the longer he twists and curls his finger, the more you find yourself enjoying it. 

“How does that feel, yawne?”

“F-fine…a little strange.” 

Neteyam chuckles.

“I know. My girl’s pretty pussy is so tight.” It’s the pride and adoration in his voice that melts you from the inside out. The muscles of your cunt relax against him as he starts to slide another finger in. 

This stretch takes a little more time, effort, and praise from your alpha but otherwise it’s smooth sailing. He scissors and stretches your walls with due diligence, even as the dark pupils of his eyes overtake the gold color. By the third finger, you’re clawing at his braced forearm and begging for his cock. Neteyam doesn’t immediately give in, reminding you of the importance of being stretched out for him. Frustrated by his noble intentions, you aren’t beyond playing dirty. 

“Alpha please! Need your cock so bad, it hurts. Feel so empty.” The begging turns into sweet tones of whimpers. You can see the shift of his muscles as they tense. His pheromones take on a stronger hue, one that surrounds you like a cloud. Your small hand reaches down for him, fingers grasping in open air. Neteyam is quick to use the hand not half way up your pussy to hold your own, looking up at you. “You said you’d take care of me, alpha.” 

Perhaps in a situation not distorted by desperate lust and the sweet scent of your erotic perfume Neteyam would be tempted to put you over his knees for trying to manipulate him, but the clenching of your velvet walls around his fingers is enough to keep him focused on being balls deep inside of you instead. You can see the moment that his resolve crumbles to ashes, it’s accentuated by a deep growl and narrowed eyes. 

You watch with hungry eyes as Neteyam hastily claws at the strings of his loincloth. It’s a wonder that it doesn’t rip underneath his harsh fingers but it finally falls away and your pupils dilate at the sight. His length stands heavily against his stomach, curving slightly under its own weight. Saliva gathers in your mouth as you observe the freckled stars that glow under the dim light of the room and scatter over his shaft till reaching the tip. A bead of precum is settled there and for the first time, you understand the desire to put your mouth in such sinful places. 

Neteyam preens under your awed attention, his hindbrain purring in delight at seeing his little mate impressed with what he has to offer. His grin widens when he notices your hand hesitantly reaching towards it. You stop, however, before getting to touch. 

“It’s ok, Tanhi. You can touch.” The three fingers leave your entrance with a squelching sound. Neteyam confidently keeps eye contact while licking the digits clean with a soft purr, then that large hand is wrapping around your own and leading you towards his twitching member. 

Even with Neteyam’s guidance, you’re unable to wrap the entirety of his width in your grip, but he doesn’t appear to be bothered by it. In fact, a devious spark lights in his smile as he watches you struggle to hold it. Although, you will probably never admit it outside of heat, you too enjoy the dramatic size difference between the two of you. On more than one occasion you have let your arousal ruin your loincloth just from having his large body completely wrapped around your own, tucking you away so easily. 

A small gasp leaves your throat when his cock twitches in your hand. Neteyam can’t keep his cooing laughter in as he pets affectionately at your hair. He pauses to take a breath from the mask while still smirking. 

“You see what you do to me, baby girl?” 

The taste of iron erupts in your mouth and it is only then that you realize you’ve been crushing your bottom lips between sharp teeth. 

“Is it…uncomfortable?” It feels silly to be so bashful after having his lips along your pussy moments earlier, but you can’t help but keep your voice down to a whisper. You thank the Great Mother for the privacy that the scientists have allowed the two of you over the past few days. There would be no recovery for your dignity if they were to walk in on this scene. Heat or not, being whiny and oblivious is embarrassing. 

“Hm, sometimes my love. If relief is not given.” He guides your thumb to run over the head. “Mostly it gets my thoughts traveling to tempting places. Imagining all the different ways I can have you laid out for me.” The weight of your eyelids seem to increase with every word he speaks. His other hand running up and down your inner thigh only adds to the lust filled daze that has captured you. 

“Wondering what you would taste like.” Being the cheeky alpha that he is, Neteyam doesn’t let the opportunity pass by without reaching a few digits down to his soaked thigh and swirling the substance between his fingers. He simultaneously continues to help you jerk his thick member slowly while sticking the dripping fingers into his mouth profanely. 

“My imagination, however, doesn’t do it justice.” He hums with delight, his pink tongue swiping over his bottom lip to collect any escaping juices. “My thoughts are merely a facade in comparison to the real thing. They can’t do you justice.”

You subconsciously tighten your grip around him at the words, causing a low groan to rumble from his chest. Another trickle of slick coats your entrance. You’re in absolute awe at your body's ability to get close to cumming just from the dark noises and words that spill from your mate’s lips. Not to mention the twitching weight of his cock restrained in your hand. 

“Then stop imagining and come here.” You leap forward and capture his lips with your own. Neteyam’s hum of surprise morphs into a viscous growl as your tongues fight for dominance. The little gasps and groans that slip into the kiss as you pump his cock is electrifying. It’s borderline addicting to see that way the mighty Omatikaya Prince bucks his hips for you. A sense of power to know that you can get him melting like this. 

Never breaking the kiss, Neteyam shuffles your body forward and the two of you start to guide his cock towards your fluttering pussy. All forms of trepidation are gone. Your body screams from every pore that you can take it. You trust these instincts as the thick head of his member prods at your entrance. 

Your lips part against his mouth in a gasp when the head slips past your entrance. Slick walls stretch in ways that you couldn’t have imagined and it feels as if you are about to be split in half. Neteyam continues to kiss and nip at your lips gleefully while carefully continuing to guide himself in inch by inch. 

“You’re being such a good girl for me.” He coos as your eyes scrunch shut tightly. It feels as if the length will never stop, as if he is about to reach your chest from the inside, but Neteyam is patient. He takes his sweet time checking up on you with every inch and soaking his tone and words with constant praises. It does this trick, scratching at that primal desire to please your alpha. 

When his balls finally meet the curve of your ass, little whimpers rain from you consistently. 

“N-nete, so b-big.” You cry, forehead touching his own as you struggle to take in ragged breaths. He forces you to take a breath from the mask hanging from his neck. 

“I know, baby. So perfect and tight around me.” His own voice shakes slightly. “God damn!” The english phrase sounds like gibberish to your ears but you understand the sentiment nonetheless. 

Settled there to let you adjust, your head lolls to his shoulder.  When his cock twitches, you clamp your teeth down on his exposed shoulder to stabilize yourself. Neteyam encourages the oral fixation through  hissed words of praise. Tears spill from your eyes but it’s hard to say what the source of your crying is. The stretch is uncomfortable but you can’t deny the certain tinge of pleasure that courses through you when a slight shift reminds you of how full your pussy is. Eventually, your heat takes the edge off, rewarding your ability to secure a mate with a pulsing clit and dripping entrance. 

It takes a moment to realize that Neteyam is calling your name, you eventually snap out of it when his lips murmur it straight into your flicking ears. 

“Hand me your kuru, baby.” Your hands obey on their own accord. “Want you to understand how good you feel, Tanhi. How happy you make me.”

When those dancing tendrils wrap securely around one another, your eyes go from sleepy slits to dilated pupils of awe. It never becomes old being able to feel Neteyam so closely. To feel his breath and strength. To have his own emotions coalesce with yours. A vulnerable certainty of how he is feeling. In this state, neither of you can hide. There is no deceit. There are no polite formalities. You both have direct access to the other’s soul.

This time, a new current of sensation travels through the bond. It sparks into growing forms of ecstasy that makes you groan. It’s a strange thing to accept, but you can feel your own tights walls secured around him. Hugging him so tightly in the warmth of your cunt, velvety texture caressing him with every shift. Underneath that pleasure also grows an unyielding lust that pricks at his self control with every passing second. His hindbrain is screaming at him to move. To claim. To fill your womb with his seed until it drips out from you. 

It’s better than if the words had come from his own lips. It sets you into a feral need to complete these fantasies. 

“Can you feel me, baby girl?” His arms are securely wrapped around your middle to keep you tight against him. 

“Yes Nete, feel all of you. Need all of you. W-want you to move.” The ability to form coherent sentences starts to slip between your fingers. Neteyam, however, requires no further instruction. Your back hits the hammock once more as his strong grip clasps around the soft flesh of your hips. The mask is settled over your lips by the alpha before he continues. 

Slowly, but surely, he draws out with smooth and continuous thrusts. Your cunt clenches around him almost painfully, as if to keep him locked there. Once the tip is just barely past your entrance he starts to slide back in smoothly. The prolonged thrusts eventually angle in a way that hits a bundle of nerves inside you that has never been explored by you before. Neteyam moans in sync with you as he can feel your own pleasure every time the head of his cock rubs at the rosy spot. 

It spurs him forward. You don’t have to explicitly tell him to go faster because he can feel it straight through the bond. It allows you to focus the energy you have left on gripping his shoulders for dear life. A brutal rhythm begins to take place, your legs wrapped around his waist. 

“Oh Eywa!” You screech. The obscene noises of skin slapping fills the room along with Neteyam’s loosed growls and grunts. 

“That’s not my name, Tanhi.” The alpha teases, but you can feel the aching desire he has to hear his own name upon your lips. To have the auditory satisfaction of knowing he is pleasing his little mate.

“N-neteyam oh haa Nete!” 

His precision at hitting your g spot increases. Neteyam learns your body with an impressive speed. One hand comes up to palm and tease your breasts in his large hand. His eyes switching back and forth between watching his cock disappear inside of you and marveling at the nipple hardening between his pinched fingers. 

Everything starts to become a blur for you. The origins of sounds are unknown. Several times you are surprised to find that the high pitched screams are coming from your own throat. Your body shakes and trembles as if it is about to shatter into a million pieces. And that is what you come to truly believe as it overwhelms your senses. It is so consuming and new that you start to sputter little pleas of mercy to your mate, convinced that you truly will die from this overload of sensations. 

“It’s alright, Tanhi. You’re alright. Just let go for me. Let it all go.” 

Your hair tangles in the woven material of the hammock as you shake your head. Neteyam thrusts become ragged and less coordinated but he slips a hand down to fondle at your clit. You scream and arch, cumming harder than ever before. Neteyam is less than a second behind you, feeling the effects of your orgasm through the bond. Warm ropes of seeds paint your inner walls. 

The first normal sense that comes to you is the feeling of Neteyam’s heavy and warm body collapsed on top of yours. Heated breath tickles at your neck, intermittent with sweet kisses and nonsense murmurs. You let yourself bask in the afterglow. Your body is sore and motionless, but luckily Neteyam takes over. Only a tiny sound comes from you when he slips out.

“Come here, tanhi.” Your boneless body is pulled to lay on top of him. Soothing affection swims across the bond when you nuzzle your face against his chest. The swing of the hammock and rhythm of his heartbeat is quickly luring you to sleep. 

Neteyam grabs your hand and kisses it sweetly. You can vaguely make out the sound of his voice, but the words are like garbled noises which never compute in your brain. It’s hard to say whether or not it’s english or if you just can’t understand simple words now in your fucked out state. Still, you like the way it makes his chest rumble. 

“Neteyam.” The rumble stops, tail flickering as he waits patiently. 

“I see you.” Your words are barely more than a whisper in the stuffy room but they ring true. He gently places the breathing mask over your lips again before your eyes close. 

“You’re all I see, little star.” 

Taglist @yurmomsawh0r @nilahsstuff @name-saken @luvv4j4ybe11 @stylishtoast @karateperson @henhouse-horrors @easy2004 @whisperingwillow0854 @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @neteyamtesuli

[winterchimez]

Starboy | Kim Sunwoo

SUMMARY: you always had one goal in mind: to do your job properly and call it day when it's done and dusted. until on one fateful night when you accidentally exchange phones with the one and only Kim Sunwoo, and your ordinary PR life is going to take a turn for both the good and the bad.

PAIRING: guitarist!Sunwoo x f!reader

GENRE: band au, fluff, angst, slight suggestive, some crack (bcs it's Kim Sunwoo we're talking about 💁‍♀️)

WARNINGS: nc-17, slow-burn, petnames (girlie, sweetheart, princess, kitten), man's way too obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun, both y/n and Sunwoo bicker A LOT, ofc he's obv flirty as hell here too, ngl he's lowkey kinda a jerk, alcohol, kissing, making out, they both get drunk 😃, they both go through traumatic experiences when it comes to relationships ❤️‍🩹 (so yknow a lot of figuring things out), arguments, mentions about sleeping pills, cursing, parties whoopie, a couple of flashback scenes, in this fic we say amen hallelujah to Eric Sohn (he's the friend we all need let's be real)

WORD COUNT: 21,742

A/N: happiest dearest birthday to my beloved dongsaeng @justalildumpling 💗 i remember we were once talking about sunwoo x starboy (bcs of this whole photoshoot he did for mediheal 😮‍💨) so here it is 🫣 once again, shoutout to @drunkdrazed @momhwa-agenda @from-izzy @sungbeam @kyaroscuro @mosviqu for literally helping me (from brainstorming, beta reading, hyping me up, keeping me in check ashnjsd, choosing the banner, and literally just being the best supporters ever yall are amazing ilysm 😙😙😙🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻)

Act 1 (하나): Starboy

“What do you mean you’re not going? It’s The Boyz, Y/N!” 

Your roommate immediately shoves the VIP backstage passes right back at you, convincing you that you’re out of your mind to reject such an offer. 

“You know me, Flo. I just don’t really get involved in work-related affairs. Frankly, I much prefer hanging out with my close circle instead.” 

“You’re no fun. That’s why you barely get to know anyone in the entertainment world. Imagine all of the big celebrities you could make! Hell, sometimes even get concert tickets for free or even attend after-parties!” Your roommate was now grabbing your shoulders and shaking them vigorously, not caring about all the excuses you’ve come up with to prove your point of just staying home after a long day. 

“Come with me, come with me, come with me!” Flo whined, and at this point, if you weren’t going to acknowledge her efforts, she might as well be shaking you till your head fell off. 

“Alright, alright! Just this one time, then; what even is so good about them? They’re just an ordinary band like the others-”

Flo immediately places a finger to shush you up. “Now that’s where I’m going to stop you, young lady. The Boyz are very much different than all of the groups out there, and I’ll make sure you realise how much you have been missing out this whole time.” 

“If you fail to impress me, you’re treating me to ten cups of black tea with cheese foam from Machi Machi.”

With that, your roommate simply just smirked. “Consider it done.”

It turns out that your roommate wasn’t kidding when she mentioned about The Boyz being a hotshot. 

You were now standing in front of Watcha Hall, a fairly well-known concert hall that wasn’t too big or too small. These halls were usually meant for rising artists currently out on the market. 

As much as you were taken aback (since you usually dealt with smaller bands or artists with smaller venues), you quickly shook your unnecessary thoughts away before entering the hall. With no time to waste, you hastily made your way backstage and greeted your team of colleagues you’ll be working with for the day. 

Thankfully, the organisers had sorted everything out beforehand, so there weren’t too many miscommunications or tasks that seemed too complicated to fulfil. You were pretty much enjoying your time going around the venue, making sure to check that everything was right before the concert. 

It was definitely slightly challenging compared to the smaller events you were used to, but it wasn’t too hard when you had a good team of colleagues working alongside you. 

Just as you were about to wrap things up, you clearly heard the backdoor creak open, and a few echoes followed behind. As soon as you turned to look, you noticed a group of individuals carrying their instruments began entering the venue one by one, protected and surrounded by their managers and bodyguards. 

It was The Boyz. 

Immediately, they wasted no time, quickly coming around and lined up in a straight line before extending their greetings to all the staff members they would be working with for the day. You noticed how they ensured that they greeted every single staff member without missing anyone, including you.

They would definitely pass as models if they weren’t in a band. 

Every single one of them was breathtakingly beautiful and had good mannerisms. However, one of them immediately caught your attention: the male with striking dark black hair with a kuromi band-aid on his face. 

Something about him lured you in, and you couldn’t pinpoint why exactly that was. Was it his aura? The good looks? Or the way he presented himself? 

You were snapped back into reality when one of your colleagues approached you to tell you about a minor issue that had occurred backstage and required your assistance. Instantly, you took one look at the band before each of them headed straight to their dressing room to change before coming back up on stage for rehearsals. 

Just then, you could’ve sworn that the male you laid your eyes upon actually gave you a little smile followed by a wink before he disappeared into the dark. 

What exactly did that mean?

Rehearsals went fairly well, and everything was done a few hours earlier than expected. You had some free time, so you took a little stroll outside at the park near the venue. Obviously, you exited through the back since you wouldn’t want to bump into the thousands of fans lining up to enter the hall.

The little walk was a refreshing moment for you, and you needed it badly, especially after going through months of endless events without having much time for yourself like this. 

While strolling through the park, you finally found yourself on an empty bench, perfect for rest while enjoying the breeze. Right then, you decided to whip out your phone and search for The Boyz. You were curious to know why exactly your roommate was obsessed with them. 

After some digging, you realise that they have built quite a reputation for themselves: winning multiple awards, being nominated for band of the year, and taking up the role of ambassadors of many beauty brands currently on the market. 

Once again, you couldn’t deny that they were all relatively good-looking and would strive to be a celebrity without a doubt. However, your eyes fall upon the man who caught your attention during rehearsals. As you scrolled further down, you came to learn of his name. 

Kim Sunwoo, the guitarist of The Boyz. 

That name now sounded slightly too familiar for you, though you couldn’t pinpoint why exactly it was that. As much as you tried recalling from the back of your mind, only a hazy recollection of that name rings in your head, and nothing else helpful popped up. 

Now that you know that this man had something to do with you, it is best to dig in further about him and ask your childhood best friend who knew you best—from your personality to your likes and dislikes. Immediately, you texted her before deciding it was time for you to head back to the venue to prepare for the show. 

“Hey Lyla, would you mind searching up about this man named Kim Sunwoo to see if you can find anything interesting?”

The venue was filled with fans from the front stage to the back, and the same went on the upper floor. You were surprised that their popularity wasn’t just for the show; they had fans ranging from teens to middle-aged. Moreover, you noticed a few prominent celebrities sitting in the crowd for the night, sitting in the VIP zone with their bodyguards, as if they were not just enjoying but also evaluating the show.

The band members knew exactly that those celebrities, besides their very own fans, had eyes on them. Hence, they knew that they had to give it out all for the night, and they did just that. Their performance was like no other and very different from the ones you were used to, and you were instantly captivated from the beginning of the show. Each member had their unique colours, and they all stood out in their very own ways.

As you continued to listen to their music in a much more precise manner, you noticed how each lyric meant something, as well as the choice of keys, instrumentals, and how each instrument and vocals just seemed to blend and create the perfect song to perform as a group.

Before you knew it, two hours passed so quickly, and the band was now lined up and giving their fans a final bow before going one by one backstage. At this time, it was also your cue to head there, meet them personally, and hopefully get to know them a lot better. 

Sure enough, the backstage was filled with snacks and drinks to fuel the artists and staff after a successful performance. You decided to go for the simple lemonade pop fizzy drink before taking it and heading into the room where everyone was. Once the director made everyone raise their glasses of beverage to do a loud cheer, everyone began dispersing into their groups to catch up with one another. 

Your roommate’s words constantly echoed in your mind: “Go and meet them personally! Do not let your VIP pass go to waste!”. 

That is only if your anxiety wasn’t up the roof. 

You have tried to walk up towards the idols multiple times but have only ended up retreating to the entrance. You had yet to learn what you would say to them upfront. 

Hey, the show was incredible I loved it! Oh my gosh, you looked absolutely stunning in that black leather jacket! 

No, that was way too common. You were sure that every fan would’ve said the same to them. 

After a good 10 minutes of internal battling, you decided that it was best to head back to your accommodations and call it a night. Instantly, you grabbed the phone lying on the glass table near the makeup station, assuming it was yours since you had been looking for it right before the show started. 

It wasn’t unusual for you to misplace your belongings; it was something both Flo and your childhood best friends back in Busan—Lyla and Bella had always commented about you. But since the phone was a dark midnight black, it must be yours since you were the only staff member with an iPhone in that particular colour anyway. 

Little did you know that all it took was one small mistake for you to end up in an awkward situation that would soon follow.

If you could yell at yourself out loud right now, you would certainly do it without a care in the world. Only now that you were out in the dark and it was slightly freezing, you're left squatting down in front of the twenty-four-hour convenience store with the mobile in hand.

How exactly did you end up in this situation? You should have checked the phone thoroughly before bolting out from the concert hall to your hotel. 

As soon as you returned, you tossed all your belongings aside and took a quick, warm shower. You couldn’t care less about wanting to have a nice relaxing salt bath—which you would usually do whenever you get booked into a luxury hotel. You were too exhausted, and all you wanted to do was lie in bed while scrolling through random Instagram reels for the night. 

Immediately after the shower, you wrapped your dripping wet hair up with a towel before plopping down onto the bed, trying to unlock your phone, which was encrypted with your Face ID.

Only this time, the Face ID wasn’t recognised, and the wallpaper differed from the one you had just changed a couple of nights ago. 

This wasn’t your phone. 

Instantly, panic rushed upon you, and you did not know who this phone belonged to. You could head straight back to the concert hall, though you will likely run out of luck since there would only be a couple of security guards left to clear out the space during this late at night.

Or you could try calling your manager or roommate if you remember their mobile numbers before this. 

You were tossing and turning around your bed, not knowing what to do, and worried that whoever had your phone must’ve probably hacked into your system by now. 

No no, they can’t do that! I have tons of important emails and work stuff in there-

Your train of thought was immediately cut off when an unknown number began calling the phone in your possession. You quickly shot up from the bed before taking a deep breath and answering the mysterious phone call. 

“Hey, I think you might’ve gotten my phone instead,” the voice on the other end of the line spoke. 

“Y-Yeah! I’m so sorry. I should’ve checked earlier before I left; I know it’s not right for me to steal-”

“No worries, man. Say, would you mind going to the convenience store near the hotel to exchange our phones back?” 

“C-Certainly! I’ll get dressed now and be there as soon as possible!” 

So all of that happened within the span of half an hour, and you were now waiting patiently outside the convenience store, waiting for whoever the owner is to come as quickly as they can because, frankly, you’re about to start freezing to death at this point. 

After what seemed like a long 10 minutes, you began to hear footsteps approaching your way. You shot up and squinted your eyes to see the individual slowly emerging from the shadows. The moment you landed your eyes on them, your jaw immediately dropped, now knowing who exactly the phone's owner belonged to. 

“K-Kim Sunwoo?!” You scream before the male quickly dashes towards you and cups your mouth with his bare hands. 

“Yes, it’s me. Are you trying to expose me right out here in public?”

“N-No, that wasn’t my intention-” You tried speaking in your muffled voice.

Sunwoo finally lets go before he gave you a little chuckle and reached through his back pocket to hand you your phone back. “Since you accidentally took my phone, why don’t you keep me company for a little while?” 

It took you a little while to process the thought before the alarms started ringing off in your head, and you quickly positioned yourself in defence mode. “Oh hell no, you ain’t touching me, mister. I don’t care if you’re an idol, there’s no way-” 

Sunwoo immediately burst into laughter, laughing so hard that he was now wrapping his arms around his stomach, and tears started forming in his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not a predator.” 

“Well, at least that’s not how it goes in certain cases out there.”

“Girlie, you watch too many crime documentaries. I can assure you that I’m a harmless guitarist who’s just craving for some Neoguri Ramyun.” 

Instantly, you lowered your guard down and straightened your position. “You’re here to eat ramen?” 

“Now, I have no idea why that came as a shocker to you. It’s very common for idols to sneak out in the middle of the night to head to the convenience store for some late-night snack.” 

“How do your managers not notice someone missing from the hotel rooms?” 

“Eh, I have my ways…and no. I’m not telling you,” Sunwoo immediately rejected your advances when you started walking closer to him. 

“Hmph, you’re no fun. Just when I thought I could get some valuable inside scoop from you,” you sulked. 

He scoffed. “You’re a funny one; I like you.” Right after that, he immediately grabs hold of your wrist before dragging you into the convenience store.

“Neoguri Ramyun with red chilli flakes. My treat, and I’ll show you how to cook it properly.”

Act 2 (둘): Party Monster

You were still baffled by that ramen date you had with the one and only Kim Sunwoo the night before. Well, you wouldn’t exactly call it a “date”, but you had no idea how else to describe it properly. 

He was a lot different from how you imagined him to be—very upbeat, someone who loved to crack jokes every chance he got, and hilarious as hell. Honestly, you enjoyed your time with him at the convenience store. He definitely taught you the proper way to make Neoguri Ramyun, even though you insisted that you wanted Shin Ramyun the entire time or some Mala Oden instead. You just never got the hype for Neoguri Ramyun after the countless times that your roommate Flo has forced you to try them. 

But that all changed last night, and you were about to add this to your cart whenever you headed out to do your usual groceries every weekend. You had never seen someone talking about ramen so passionately as he did, and what’s more interesting was that this was coming from an idol, not some random dude you would meet on the streets.

However, you had to constantly argue with the man about not consuming too much of it, and it would be better for him to get some protein in his diet. He would just shrug you off and stand firm with his answer.

“Hey, I once read an article about an elderly man who survived for 50 years by just consuming Neoguri Ramyun. He’s my actual idol if you ask me,” Sunwoo argued. 

“Sure, you’re gonna get high cholesterol the next time I see you,” you spat right into his face. 

“Watch me, girlie. I will still be as fit as I was performing on stage tonight. Or hell, even buffer and healthier than I was before.” 

“You’re insufferable.” 

“And that’s why I get all the girls to like me, sweetheart.” 

That last line would constantly replay in your head, as much as you didn’t want it to. You knew he was just saying it as part of his demeanour, but you couldn’t help but reminisce on your past. 

Because that was what your ex always said, and it turns out those weren’t just empty words. 

You were brought back to reality when you realised you had been overfilling your mug with cold milk, which was now splattered across the dining table. Not wanting your roommate to wake up screaming at the top of her lungs at you, you quickly grabbed the nearest cloth to wipe away all the evidence, chugging down the liquid before you dashed right out the door. 

As you made your way to the local subway, you suddenly felt a ring within the inside pocket of your jacket. You waited until you had gone up the train before taking your phone out to see whatever it was. 

It was a text from Sunwoo. 

As if yesterday still felt like a dream for you, so many questions lingered in your mind about how exactly he got your number until you remembered that you both had swapped phones for a couple of hours before giving them back to their rightful owners. 

As soon as you read his first message, you couldn’t help but form a smile before texting one back eagerly.

that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: good morning, princess. how did you sleep last night? I’m sure that hot warm ramyun definitely gave you a well-rested night. y/n: as if. i had to use the bathroom multiple times this morning because of how spicy you made the broth to be. that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: shame, you don’t have a strong and capable immune system like i do y/n: shut your mouth, mister. or else I’ll report you to your managers about your disappearance last night.  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: you wouldn’t 🥰 y/n: try me, bitch 😄 that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: feisty. this is why i like you. say, do you wanna catch up some time for dinner? my treat again, of course 😙 y/n: what makes you think that i would risk my life to go out with you in plain sight? unlike you, i clearly care about my job and i wouldn’t want to risk that.  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: now that’s just rude. i was going to treat you to the newly opened Sheraton Hotel a few blocks away from the concert venue since i had extra vouchers. i guess not anymore- y/n: now why didn’t you say so earlier!! count me in im coming!! 😍 that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: that’s what i like to hear. get yourself ready and send me your location later on, i’ll pick you up tonight at 8 😉

“What do you mean you’re going on a date with the actual Kim Sunwoo?!?!” 

Okay, on second thought. Maybe you shouldn’t have spilt the tea with your roommate just yet. 

“It’s not a date, Flo. He’s just treating me to a meal for returning his phone back to him,” you answered while digging through your wardrobe for what to wear for the night. 

“Umm, hello? The Sheraton Hotel? That’s a fancy place where people go for candlelight dinners! He’s clearly onto something.” 

“You read too many romance novels. There’s no way I’m getting involved in any of those fiascoes. I’m just there for the free food.” 

“Whatever you say, ma’am. You clearly want to impress the guy himself,” Flo pointed to the black slim-fit dress you picked and a sparkly cardigan to keep yourself warm. 

“Hey, what’s wrong with being all glammed up? After all, it’s been a while since I’ve felt this pumped,” you laughed before heading straight to your makeup desk to get started. “Besides, I think I’ve had enough moping episodes, and I’m ready to head back into the party scene.” 

“The party scene? Oh hell no, don’t tell me you’re going to bring Sunwoo to your favourite clubs-” 

You turned around to meet your roommate face to face while applying foundation with your beauty blender on your cheeks. “Why yes, darling, I’m going to do just that. I think it’ll be interesting to see if he can beat my alcohol tolerance.” 

“You’re just too much sometimes, Y/N. I don’t even know if that’s going to be a great idea, you know, after how that last one went-” 

“Flo, I assure you. I’m fine. I’m all over him. I’m no longer seeking a relationship; I just want to get out there and return to my safe space and have some fun.”

In return, your roommate could only sigh before walking back towards you. She grabbed your hairbrush right next to your makeup desk to start brushing out your hair before helping you style it with your curler. 

“Just promise me you won’t be crying in my arms again. I don’t wanna go through that hell of a phase you had back then,” Flo stressed, making sure that you listened carefully and that her words have gone straight into your mind. 

“I promise. My heart will be as hard as steel from now on.”

“You definitely don’t seem like the type of guy who would drive,” you commented as you sat comfortably in the passenger seat while Sunwoo rested one of his arms on the armrest and the other on the steering wheel.

“When will you stop looking down on me? I assure you that I have many hobbies and talents and excel in every single one of them,” Sunwoo pouted, which in return made you giggle. “I swear if I wasn’t driving right now, I would’ve charged right at you and taught you a lesson.”

“Like what? Tickle me? That’s so old-school, Kim.” 

“Whatever you say, Princess. But hey, thanks for accepting the offer. I knew you would be the perfect one for this little getaway I have during my free time.’ 

“I’m just here for the free food, sir. Nothing else.” 

“Hmm, I wouldn’t say so. Usually, people turn me down even if the food is luxurious and scrumptious; I’d like to think that you have some other motive-” 

“Look up at the road ahead and drive, Kim. You don’t even meet my standards in men, anyway,” you crossed your arms before extending your tongue out at him. 

“Damn, why did they even choose you to be part of the PR team? And I thought people who do events like you are a lot more friendlier and nice,” Sunwoo fired back. 

“I am friendly and nice to many people, but not to you, apparently,” you shrugged. 

“And how can I help change your mind about me?” 

“You can’t, and you won’t. Just hurry up and let me taste some luxurious seafood; I’m starving.” 

“Ungrateful.” 

“Not my fault that you’re flirty as hell. It just makes me want to drag you down some more.” 

With that, you both chuckled as the drive stopped before Sunwoo exited his vehicle, walked towards your side to help you open the door, and extended his hand to you. “We have arrived, Princess.” 

You gave him an eye-roll before resting your hands on his and stepping out of his vehicle. “You better be treating me to good food; otherwise, I will give you a rating of 1.5 out of 5 stars on Google reviews.” 

“Oh, don’t worry about that, darling. I aim to please.”

You retracted everything you said about the male himself; he definitely knew all the ways to a woman’s heart.

He actually made an effort to pull the chair away from the table and escorted you to a seat before taking the napkin placed on the table and draping it over your thighs before going across to have a seat himself. He ordered the best champagne for the both of you, paired with an 8-course dinner, and you certainly felt like it was your birthday. 

No man has treated you this way before, not even your ex. 

Another difference about Sunwoo was that he was willing to ask more about you and actually tried to listen to everything you had to say. He was the complete opposite of your ex—he presented himself well, knew how to read the room so as not to push the question further if it made either one of you uncomfortable, and always made sure to check up on you. 

He insisted that you give a proper review for each meal, for he would give feedback to the chef behind the meal planning and prep. Sunwoo often visited the hotel, after all, since the company would usually be hosting any sort of private events here, and all of the staff felt like home to him. 

At one point, he noticed a little stain on the corners of your lips, and he instantly took his napkin and leaned forward to wipe it away by instinct. This little action made you blush, and your cheeks turned pink to red within seconds. Sunwoo, being the man he was, had to point it out, making you feel much more embarrassed than before. 

Throughout the night, he would often call you pretty and cute, and each time, you would try to brush it off and think nothing much of it, but you just seemed to fail horribly each time. 

You won’t deny that he looked absolutely stunning compared to wearing a hoodie at the convenience store the night before. He made an effort to style himself tonight; his hair gelled and parted to the sides, and he wore this black suit with some hints of sparkle throughout the fit. 

This is definitely not the look of a guitarist from a band—he looked way too good for that. In fact, he could definitely pass as an idol or actor, and he was certainly on par with the top good-looking models you have previously worked with.

You were not planning to tell him that; his ego was already too much for you to handle, and you certainly wouldn’t be surviving his teases if he found out what you thought about him. Instead, you hastily chomped away your food and the dessert that finally came and suggested that you wanted to bring him to one of the clubs you often frequented back then. 

Sunwoo was reluctant, and you could see in his eyes that he was contemplating whether to go. That action intrigued you, and you couldn’t help but comment on it.

“Why? Are you afraid to drink? Or do you have horrible alcohol tolerance?” You smirked as you crossed your arms together. 

“Neither. Let’s go.” 

His response seemed slightly colder than usual, and he was up and ready to pay the bills before exiting the hotel. You quickly trailed behind and guided him to the club a few blocks from the hotel. You reassured him that nobody would bother him at the club since most people are just there to have fun, and usually, half of them are just busy making out with one another or tipsy. 

After going through the identification at the entrance, you guided him down to the section where you often stayed for the night. It was much quieter than the others around the area, and there was a little bar at the corners for those who preferred to chat while having a drink.

You offered to pay for Sunwoo’s this time and handed him a long island cocktail to fuel him for the night. Instead of drinking it immediately, Sunwoo spun the glass around with his hand, swirling his drink while staring at it. 

On the other hand, you chugged down your beverage almost immediately, and only then did you notice how Sunwoo seemed a lot quieter now. In fact, this is the most quiet he has been ever since you’ve met him. 

“Long Island is not suited for your taste, sir?” You joked before ordering another cup from the bartender. 

“No…it’s just…I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to drink tonight, Y/N.” 

That was the first time he actually called out your name. 

As the alcohol slowly enters your system, the tipsiness begins kicking in, and you are getting high at this point. Most importantly, you wanted to tease him more now. 

“Aww, a star like you can’t handle a little cocktail? Guess you’re not what everyone seems to label you as then~” you purred before leaning in close to taunt him. 

With that, Sunwoo finally looked into your eyes, and you noticed how they were slowly turning black before he chugged the entire cocktail down his throat. It took him a while to swallow everything and open his eyes, and when he finally did, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you to the nearest bathroom stall before pining you up against the door. 

You were startled by the sudden move he made, but the alcohol was just not making you rational at this point, and you just wanted to taunt him even more. “What is it now? You’re going to teach me a lesson? Mr Kim?” 

“Oh hell yes I am, Y/N.” 

With that, he was now holding both of your wrists with one hand before the other snakes down to touch your body before resting it on your waist. Sunwoo then leans forward to the point that both of your lips are now mere inches apart. 

“You’re going to regret making me consume alcohol for the night, Miss Y/N.”

Act 3 (셋): Rockin’

You were woken up with the sun blaring onto your face and the birds chirping outside the windows. You began rubbing your eyes until you felt something draped over your body. 

A blanket? 

Instantly, you jolted up and looked around your surroundings. You have no idea where exactly you were, and this was definitely not your apartment. Frantically, you looked around to take in as much information as possible, just in case you needed to report to the authorities. 

Okay…there’s a white curtain, a fireplace, a laptop-

“Ouch!” 

You suddenly felt something cold come into contact with your cheeks, and you quickly darted your attention towards whatever it was. That was when you looked up to see the familiar man holding a glass of ice water toward your cheeks. He immediately let go the moment you grabbed the cup into your hands. 

“Drink that. You need it,” Sunwoo replied before walking across the room to pick up your clothing tossed on the floor. 

Oh my god. 

You quickly placed the glass water on the nightstand before lifting the blankets to see if you were wearing anything underneath. 

“Calm down, princess. I have not stooped that low to do the nasty with a woman I just met. I had to help change your clothes into something a lot more comfortable because there’s no way you’re sleeping comfortably with that tight dress for the entire night.” 

So that was what happened. 

“B-But still! You changed my clothing without my consent-”

“And leave you all dirtied with splatters of alcohol all over that dress and then sleep in MY bed? Very unlikely and not gentleman at all.” 

You were not convinced just yet. “T-Then, you slept beside me the entire night!?”

“I slept on the couch in the living room, obviously. You basically had my bedroom for the entire night, a solid 8 hours, to be exact.” 

As soon as you took every information in, you plopped straight down onto the pillow, burying your face with your hands. You couldn’t believe your return to the party scene led you back to Sunwoo’s apartment. You had promised yourself and Flo that nothing would happen and that you knew how to stop before things proceeded further. 

Guess all of that effort went straight down the drain. 

“Look, I…I’m so sorry I’ve caused you so much trouble. I swear, none of this was my intention; it’s just the alcohol, and I was desperate and-”

“Oh, I know. Baby.” 

Just when you opened your eyes, Sunwoo was now sitting at the edge of the bed and very close to you. By instinct, you retreated and moved towards the side, but that only made Sunwoo come closer and eventually rest his fingers on your chin. 

“Whatever happened last night? Will stay between us, Y/N. Frankly, I did enjoy my time with you. I think it would be nice if you could attend the parties that I will be hosting from now on. I’m sure you’ll be a great addition to the party scene.”

It took a few seconds for you to process that thought, and you blinked as a response to that. Seeing that you were too stunned to speak, he decided to press on. 

“I’ll drop you back to your apartment in an hour, so get dressed and take a warm shower in my bathroom, hmm? I’ll be waiting outside in the living room.” 

Once he was done, he stood up before heading straight to turn the doorknob, leaving you alone to pull yourself together and get ready before it was time to go. Right before closing the door, he decided to add one more crucial detail that he had left out. 

“By the way, your lips tasted exactly like my favourite strawberry lip gloss that I often apply whenever I go up to perform on stage.”

“You did what!?” Flo was screaming right at the top of her lungs this time, not caring about all of the stares you both had been getting for the past 10 minutes since you arrived at the cafe before spilling the tea with her. 

“Look, nothing happened. He just happened to take care of me and made sure that I was safe-”

“Nothing happened!? How can you be so sure? Who knows, he might’ve touched you while you were asleep-” 

You grabbed her shoulders to calm her down. “Flo. Nothing. Happened.” 

Your roommate immediately swatted your hands away and crossed her arms as she laid back on the bench, giving you an immense side-eye while she was at it. “Either way, you broke your promise. You said you were going to be responsible, but look at what you did!” 

At times like this, you just wanted to vanish from the depths of the earth as you knew your roommate always had this motherly figure between the two of you. Ever since you moved out from your little hometown on the outskirts of Seoul, Flo was the one who managed to guide you around and became your roommate in the blink of an eye. 

She had moved in a week before you did, and originally the tenant wouldn’t let anyone enter the properties anymore. But you were desperate at the time, as you needed a space to live in as soon as possible before starting the following week, and Flo was the one who managed to talk it out with the tenant to give you a room. 

It has been a year, and you both managed to fit right into your studio apartment, becoming much closer than you thought you would. After all, Flo had made a pact with your childhood friends, who have always looked out for you throughout your time back home, ensuring you were always in good hands no matter where you went. 

“I think I’m going to have to report to Lyla and Bella,” Flo huffed before taking out her phone. She was about to make the call before you managed to stop her right there. 

“Do not. Call them over trivial matters like this. I do not need them to be on the train to Seoul right now,” you warned. 

“Clearly, you did not know how to limit boundaries, Miss Y/N. You said you were not looking for a relationship, then why did you even make out with the Kim Sunwoo in the club?” 

“Can you just- not say his name out loud,” you hissed. “Look, we were both drunk; it was just a one-night thing, okay? That’s not going to happen anymore. Hell, I’m even pissed at myself for falling for the guy so easily like that.” 

“Well, you should be. You have a lot of things to work on, young lady.”

“Okay, but first of all, can you just stop being mad at me?” 

“Not until you have learnt your lesson. No more boys and no more kissing. And most importantly.” Flo now stood up and cupped both of your cheeks with her hands. “No more alcohol. Understood?”

You sighed. “I’ll bake matcha cookies with you when we get back.”

Instantly, Flo let go of her hands before sitting back down and giving you a devilish smile. “Now, that’s more like it.”

Nothing much happened after that, and your phone has been unusually silent over the past week. There hasn’t been much going on at work either, so you have been working remotely and having much more time to yourself. 

You would laze around the apartment a little too much, but you were glad you could sit back and relax for a bit. All you had to do was respond to some work emails, and that was it. Most of the time, you would spend your time baking with Flo (because she insists) or just going through the list of shows you have meant to catch up on Netflix. 

Just as you were done clocking out for the week, your supervisor informed the entire department that you would continue working remotely the following week and would only be back in the office in a fortnight. 

Ever since that conversation with Flo back at the cafe, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to return to your hometown to visit your family and friends. You only need to bring your laptop back, and you can work remotely instead. With that, you quickly stood up, took out one of your smaller luggage and began sorting out the clothes you would bring back. 

That is until an unexpected message came through.

that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: hey princess, just checking up on you  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝 : how have you been feeling?

Really? A text from Sunwoo after a week of not saying anything? 

You honestly were just planning to leave him on read, but something within you said that you should give him a reply; he, in fact, was concerned about your well-being. 

You could definitely trust this guy. Right?

y/n: been good, burying myself with work.  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: that’s unfortunate. but if you do happen to be free tomorrow night… 👀 y/n: whatever are you planning this time, Sunwoo that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: just the usual parties at Eric’s villa. you’ll come, won’t you? 

Tomorrow. But you were planning to head back to your hometown. 

Now you were in a dilemma; you know that you have only known this guy a little shy of just one week, yet there was this prominent mutual attraction between you two—at least, you wanted to think of it that way. 

But were you ready to ditch your friends and family over this guy? Over a party where you could potentially get drunk once again and make questionable decisions that you were certain you would regret later on? 

You contemplated asking Flo to help you choose, but given that she did not take your last encounter with the male well, it’s probably not a very good idea at this point. You could flip a coin and respectfully choose the side you’ve assigned the decision to, but why go through the lengths of all that? 

It was either a yes or no, simple as that. Yet, you were pacing around the room, scratching your head while at it, until one more text came from the man himself.

that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: y/n, you there? don’t leave me on read 🙁

Argh, goddamit we ball.

y/n: pick me up tomorrow, the usual.

“Damn, I had no idea your bandmate Eric was this rich,” you commented before taking a sip of your mocktail that you took at the entrance.

Yes. Mocktail. You weren’t ready to go down the same path you had in the previous encounter you had with Sunwoo. 

“Boy grew up rich, alright. He has one villa back in the States, too.” 

“And I assume all of you have been there?”

“Oh, we often stay there for a couple of nights whenever we’re in Los Angeles. I say it's a win-win situation, given that we have free accommodations. Besides, his mum has taken a liking to us all, particularly me.” Sunwoo nudges your shoulders as he says that last sentence. 

“Don’t be stupid. You look horrendous,” you spat.

“Now, that’s not what you said to me the other day, Princess.” 

You were baffled. “Huh? What did I say?”

“Oh, darling. You said many things when we were making out. You were pretty much a very vocal one at that, too,” he grinned before taking a sip of his drink, but you couldn’t just let this slip away easily. “Ow! Why did you pinch my arm for!” 

You pulled his shirt down so that you could whisper into his ear. “You’re going to have to tell me what exactly happened that day, and it stays between us and only us.” 

“Seems like girlie couldn’t remember a single detail from that night after all, hmm?” Sunwoo smirked before he took a strand of your hair and intertwined it around his finger. 

Again, you swatted his hands away. “Don’t play games with me, Sunwoo. Tell me everything right now; I need to know for the sake of my well-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Sunwoo immediately pulled you down onto one of the empty sun loungers scattered throughout the pool area, and little did you realise that you had just landed on his lap. 

“Stop wasting all of the unnecessary energy, Y/N. We’re here tonight just to relax and party, hmm? That heated make-out session is history. What matters is you’re here with me,” he cooed. 

Oh hell, this is going to be a long night indeed.

Act 4 (넷): Secrets

It definitely took you a while to break free from Kim Sunwoo’s arms. At one point, you were both just chatting—well, more likely bickering, and then the next thing that happened was the both of you got pulled towards the pool table located at the side of the outdoor swimming pool area where the boys and several other girls were playing beer pong. 

Eventually, you gave in and represented your team in a couple of rounds, only having to drink once or twice as compared to Sunwoo. He was a mess by the time the game got around to the tenth round, and he had his arm over you and slowly laid his head on the crook of your neck. 

It was fairly common as you saw the other boys and girls around you doing the same thing; people were just having fun, and a little skinship could do no harm. 

After some time, you decided that you needed some alone time and retreated into the house, where you found a cosy couch just to sit back and relax a little. Everyone was still in the outdoor area, with only a handful of people chilling and just talking with one another around the living space, so you didn’t really mind it at all. 

Slowly sipping your drink, you decided just to take in everything that had happened back in the past week. You were back in the party scene again, back to drinking (which you’ve definitely missed), and you actually felt that your life was lit up again after so long. 

It took you a while to get over your ex, and that previous relationship ruined you so badly that you couldn’t even drink or go to a club for quite some time. To think that you had met Sunwoo through one of the events you were part of, trading back each other’s phones just because you were the one who mistakenly took his, and then getting close with him until you were now part of the band’s social scene? It was wild. 

Suddenly, you felt a little thump as someone made their way to take a seat next to you, and you realised who it was the moment he brushed his hair back with his hands. 

“You must be Y/N? Sunwoo has talked a lot about you,” he lifted his glass of whiskey to prompt you to do a little cheer before taking a good sip of his beverage. 

“Thanks for letting me come tonight; I really appreciate it,” you responded politely to the male. 

“Oh no, thank you for coming, actually. Without you, our recent concert wouldn’t have been a huge success as it was.”

You chuckled. “You’re joking. All of your concerts do great all the time, Eric.” 

“Not always. There are usually a few seats left empty in our previous one. But this? We have been told that all seats were sold out in nearly ten minutes before the website crashed. You and your team made it happen, Y/N.”

You weren’t too sure if it was because of the alcohol or if it was getting a little too stuffy in the house, but you could only respond by giving him a little nod before downing your drink to ease the awkwardness. 

You didn’t seem to have to worry much because Eric was a sociable guy. He would come up with random topics that could keep you busy throughout the night, and frankly, you enjoyed yapping about every single one of them, and he did just the same. 

Before you knew it, laughter began filling the room, and it was from both of you (mostly Eric because he is one loud fellow). At one point, you laughed so much that tears had formed within the corners of your eyes, and Eric had to pull the nearby tissue box to hand them to you. 

“Oh my god, you can be a stand-up comedian, Sohn.” 

“I’ve been told multiple times if only the members would acknowledge that,” he pouts. 

“They don’t? How could they?” 

“You tell me! Clearly, they don’t know how to appreciate LA humour in the slightest. But now I’ve found someone who does,” he points his glass again at you to indicate another cheer before the two of you drink your beverages. “Say, Y/N. Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot your shot, mister. I’m prepared for anything, even if it means I will be laughing my ass off until tomorrow morning,” you replied confidently, thinking that he was about to pull another lame joke. 

Only this time, he was going to press on something serious instead. 

“What are your thoughts about Sunwoo? Be honest with me.” 

Huh? Why are we shifting the topic back to Sunwoo? 

“I…umm…he’s just a guy, I guess. I don’t know him well enough to determine that much yet,” you answered bluntly, hoping it was enough to give him a satisfactory answer. 

It took Eric a little while to respond properly before you eventually caught him staring right at your collarbone, causing you to touch the very spot he was eyeing at. “Umm…is something wrong?” 

“No, not at all. But listen to me very carefully, Y/N. You will be needing this.” 

Immediately, Eric gently pulled you closer so he could whisper into your ear, ensuring that the coast was clear and nobody was around to eavesdrop before muttering those words that caused you to linger in your mind for the entire night. 

“Whatever you do, do not get yourself involved in Sunwoo’s affairs. Stay as far away as you can from him.” 

Just like that, Eric was up and ready to excuse himself as he had to tend to the other guests. He gave you one final smile accompanied by a single wave before he headed towards the exit. Right before he left, you could catch something he muttered softly under his breath, something you wished you hadn’t heard. 

“Kim Sunwoo, I guess you are still the very same bastard just as you were back then.”

It has been a couple of weeks since you were invited to the party at Eric’s villa in central Seoul. As much as you tried your best to ignore the warnings Eric had told you about Sunwoo, you couldn’t help but constantly think about it throughout the entire day.

Sure, Sunwoo was a flirt—but he wouldn’t go as far as to harm you physically or emotionally. 

In fact, you have been in close contact with the man himself almost every weekend. The band was off-season for a little while, which meant he would be back in Seoul during the weekends, as his schedules were free. Hence, he had a lot of time to bring you around Seoul and to all of his favourite restaurants that he frequented either as a celebrity or where he often went during his trainee days.

He has built up a reputation for himself, and all of the owners of the restaurants near his old dormitory with the members treated him like their own son. At times, certain owners would even treat him to a free meal, so that basically meant you were getting a free ride, too, since you were his acquaintance.

You just couldn’t seem to fathom that a guy like Sunwoo was someone comparable to your ex. 

Your ex has done multiple things in the past which made you feel like an outcast for a while. You stopped going to parties, being the sociable fairy you once were, and hell, even let yourself get close to a man ever again. 

Your previous relationship traumatised you to the point that you needed a break from everything and everyone, including your best friends and family. 

That was why you fled to Seoul—you wanted a new life, a new beginning, and a little escape from everyone for a little while. The moment you received a call back from your current agency about hiring you to be part of their PR team, you were astounded. You have always loved meeting new people and wanted to do everything you could to help them until your ex-boyfriend changed everything.

It just so happened that your encounter with The Boyz was meant to have several chapters down the line. Usually, you would work with a group or artist until the day of the concert or event, and then you would return to your normal routine. There were no meet-ups or getting close to the celebrities or their acquaintances. You’d like to think that it was fate that you had become close mutual friends with The Boyz. 

Until that fateful night when Eric warned you about Sunwoo. 

You couldn’t believe it, or rather, you didn’t want to believe that. 

All you wanted was to have someone like Sunwoo come into your life again—to drag you out of your shell and back to where you truly belong. 

That is until a phone call came from your best friend. 

“Y/N. I think I’ve found something that should piqued your interest,” Lyla announced on the phone.

Act 5 (다섯): All I Know

It seemed that the days of relaxation had ended when the band finally received some sample songs for their upcoming album. As the group's lead songwriter, Sunwoo was already in the studio at 3 a.m., going through each one with his team of producers. 

When it came to his job, Sunwoo poured his whole heart and soul into them, and he can be very meticulous when selecting the song that would suit the team best. He was cautious and ensured that each member had time to shine and portray their unique skills throughout the song. 

This is also a time when he would be the hardest to contact if there ever was a situation in which someone needed his presence as soon as possible. Technically, he would always leave his phone on silent mode throughout the day but opt for the do-not-disturb mode when in the studio. He just disliked it when he got interrupted during his train of thought while in his creative mindset. 

But hunger would never escape him, and his tummy began making growling noises. Then, he finally checked his phone for the very first time since he stepped into the studio. It was already 9:30 in the morning, and he hadn’t had any food since 6 p.m. the day before. 

If he wanted to get back on his feet, he obviously had to do something to satisfy the grumbling noises that would soon fill the entire studio if he had left it just there and then. So he quickly took his hoodie and was off to the nearest convenience store near the company. 

As usual, he walked straight towards the ramen aisle and quickly grabbed his favourite Neoguri Ramyun, which had to be the spiciest one. To top it off with a beverage, he went straight to the freezer box to grab an ice cup and paired it with his favourite chocolate milk drink that came in a packet, which he would then empty the continents into the cup itself after purchase. 

He was going to walk straight to the cashier until your voice suddenly rang in his head. 

The hell do you survive on just ramen all the time? Add on some healthier carbs, will you? 

Just like that, he turned his heels back towards the aisle and grabbed an onigiri that looked pretty decent enough to pair with his noodles and coffee.

There. I’ve added rice. It’s more than enough. He replied mentally towards your voice. 

Usually, he would bring his so-called “breakfast” back to the studio and eat while working, but he decided that it wouldn’t hurt just to sit down and chill in the store while admiring the clear blue skies for the day. It had been raining for the past few days so it was nice to get a little sunlight in a while. 

As he chomped down on his food, he just couldn’t stop thinking about that very first time when you both had met back at the store that was located near the concert venue and how you were doubting his ability to actually make an ordinary cup of ramen taste just as good as Sunwoo acclaimed to be all the time. 

“What, you’re just adding chopped green jalapeno and sesame seeds. That doesn’t make a difference,” you argued, having done the same with the noodles at your apartment. 

“Not just any jalapeno and sesame seeds, it has to be the one that specifically comes with this spiciest addition that you can request at your local convenience store for the add-on,” he proclaimed while throwing all of the ingredients together before mixing it up well with the wooden chopsticks. 

Still unconvinced, you gave him an immense side-eye as he pushed the cup of ramen to you and insisted that you try it. You reluctantly took a few strands of noodles with the chopsticks and started chewing until you stopped halfway, which made Sunwoo lean in close to reply with a grin. 

“See, told ya.” 

It really did make a difference. It turned out that Sunwoo was serious about this whole Neoguri Ramyun business he was running. He had always insisted that the people around him had to cook the noodles the same exact way as he did, or else they would be better off thrown into the trash. 

“Honestly, I should’ve become a ramen connoisseur instead of a guitarist. I would’ve made loads of money from this alone. Hell, I think Neoguri should even hire me as their ambassador.”

“Nah, you don’t have the looks to be plastered across Neoguri advertisement boards. Heck, I don’t think I would wanna consume a cup ramen with your face on the packaging.”

“Hello? We just met and were having a good conversation together?” Sunwoo protested. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m usually pretty blunt and straightforward with my words.” 

“Ouch. You’re a monster.” 

“I’ve been told,” you stuck your tongue out at the male. 

That conversation would often bring a smile back onto Sunwoo’s face. It was the way you could be savage for one second, and the next thing that happened was you were slurping away the noodles that he had just made for you (note: the noodles that he deemed were far beyond perfection). 

Just like you thought that it was fate for Sunwoo to have entered your life, he did the same, too. 

It had been a long time since he had found someone who could connect with him, be on the same level as he did, and even tolerate his flirtatious remarks and behaviour. Most importantly, it had been a while since he had gotten this close to a girl. 

Like everyone else, Sunwoo had a past that wasn’t of the best to be on his history books. He had been through many things, more like things that he wasn’t too proud of. All he wanted was to cherish his time with you and to let go of the things that have haunted him in the past. He would take it if it meant being with you could bring him temporary happiness. 

And that he would ensure that you would never find out about the Kim Sunwoo of the past.

You couldn’t believe it when your friend Lyla had just dumped all the information towards you on just one FaceTime call. 

It all started a couple of weeks back when you first got her to find out more about Sunwoo, especially ever since you just couldn’t fathom the thought of why his name sounded so familiar to you. 

Even after all of the dates and parties you both had been to, nothing alarming stood out from the guy, and he was a normal celebrity who just wanted to have some fun. Yet, there was something at the back of your mind that just knew there must be something about the guy.

Something mysterious, but harmless. 

However, after that video call with Lyla, you couldn’t be so sure anymore. 

Instantly, you texted the Sunwoo and said that you needed to see him as soon as possible because you needed answers.

Desperately. 

y/n: hey…do you happen to be free for the night? can we meet? that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: never would I have expected for you to text me firsthand…are you finally taking my love proposal into consideration 😘 y/n: sunwoo…not right now please, i just need to see you.  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: wait. y/n you’re not like yourself. did something happened? are you okay?  y/n: we’ll talk more when we meet. please that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: i have a schedule tonight, but i can totally meet you at Han River if that’s okay with you y/n: deal. I’ll see you then.

Given that you were out of town for work earlier in the day, you glanced at your watch to see that it was already 6 in the evening. Hastily, you excused yourself from the little afternoon date you were having with your co-workers and quickly took the subway to return to Seoul to meet Sunwoo. 

The usual 45-minute train ride back felt like an eternity. You had no idea why you were so nervous, anxious and even terrified about the ordeal. You were still trying your best to take in everything Lyla had said over the call, but you refused to believe that everything—all of the memories you had made with the man himself until now—had all been a facade. 

Why go through to this extent? Was everything had been a lie all this while? Were you just a pawn in his games?

The moment you stepped out of the train, your legs guided you straight to where you were supposed to meet. At this point, you were running on autopilot, and you felt that your energy and consciousness were slowly drifting away from you.

By the time you reached the stairs up to the bridge, you lay your eyes upon the familiar figure who was already there. Though, he wasn’t alone. 

As you closed in your distance with him, you had just picked up one sentence from the conversation—one that was more than enough to confirm all of the doubts and fears you’ve had up to this point. 

She’s just another one of the girls. 

“Y-You meant what you said?” You squeaked, and that was enough to make both men turn their heads towards you. 

Instantly, tears began streaming down your face as you turned your heel and started running in the opposite direction, not caring if he was chasing and screaming your name out loud in the middle of the night. 

I’m done with men.

Act 6 (여섯): True Colors

If you talked about being one’s soulmate, Eric Sohn knew that best when finding the right friend with whom you can connect on a whole different level. The word “soulmate” meant a lot to him—someone who is more than just a friend, one that the universe has just seemed to create specially just for you. 

Sunwoo and Eric go all the way back to their trainee days when they were both training to become idols instead of a band. They clicked right off the bat, and the first thing they did was sneak out in the middle of the night to get some ramen at their local convenience store.

They have got in so much trouble together in the past, to the point that they had to be placed in detention by their managers and company staff multiple times, but that was all the joy and fun with that for the both of them. 

Eric had always wanted a brother, and so did Sunwoo. Even though they weren’t related by blood, their chemistry was incomparable to the others in the company. They did everything together—songwriting, sharing their meals together when they had barely enough to survive, and even taking the late-night buses to travel to another town or city during their breaks. 

Eventually, they decided that being in a band would better suit them as idols, and they did everything they could with the little amount of cash in their pockets and left. Of course, it came as a shocker to everyone, be it from their family members or friends or even to the company since they would potentially debut in their next upcoming new boy group. But both of them knew that there was a much better place and opportunity for them. 

They have spent countless of days sleeping in the local parks or subways, each taking turns to look out for one another while job hunting in the local restaurants or cafes while they were at it to earn some cash. Eventually, both of them bought their very own instruments from a second-hand store and started busking on the streets. 

Nobody knew how to appreciate their music at the beginning, but their hard work has definitely paid off in the long run. They never once gave up, eventually earning ten and hundreds of pedestrians who would stop by to enjoy the music while giving them some tips. 

At the same time, they ventured around Seoul to find similar members who were willing to share the same dream and passion as they did, and that was when they encountered the rest of the members. With Kevin's help (since he had some contacts within the music industry), they were able to sign with their current company and eventually debut as a successful band.

Since both Eric and Sunwoo had already been on the internet for quite some time before debuting, they already have garnered enough fans to start off fresh and strong, which earned them their very first win on the local music awards show that very same year.

Years passed, and they were now one of Seoul's biggest and most successful boy bands. Eventually, their words spread out, reaching almost every entity in South Korea. They had everything, and there was nothing to lose. 

But there was one thing that constantly bothered the man himself: Sunwoo’s past. 

When it comes to romance, Eric often takes it seriously, and frankly, he knows best about it. Both Eric and Sunwoo had something in common: they were flirtatious as hell, and they knew how to get the girls. But there was a significant difference between them: Eric knew when to draw the line.

Given his profession, getting into a serious relationship meant trouble for his career and company. If he really wanted to find love, he would definitely have waited for the right moment to do so because he knew that both personal and business relations should not co-exist in the same duration. 

Sure, he knew how to satisfy a woman, but he would never stoop as low as to play with their feelings. He always loved being fully transparent about them, which has always worked out for him. 

However, Sunwoo didn’t, which frustrated his friend all the time.

Eric knew about his past with his ex—it made him the way he was when it came to romance. He couldn’t blame Sunwoo after all of the traumatic experiences He had gone through, especially when he did not deserve any of those in the slightest. But yet, it angers the male, and he has been trying to do something to help him get over it for years. 

It just so happened that you had to come into the picture. 

Eric and the rest of the band thought nothing much about your “encounter” with Sunwoo; they often brushed it off as a silly and hilarious experience because you accidentally took his phone instead of yours. However, things changed when Sunwoo started hanging out with you more often and even invited you to their parties. 

There was nothing wrong with you joining their scene, but it was how Eric noticed how Sunwoo had been treating you. 

Just like he did to all of the previous girls. 

Though, Eric knew that you were different to all of the other girls who had gotten involved with Sunwoo in the past. You seemed a lot more mature and outgoing, and you were never afraid to voice your honest yet brutal opinions about the guy—which is also why the band had taken quite a liking towards you. 

Unfortunately for the previous girls, they wanted to get close with the band—specifically towards Sunwoo—and get involved with all of the games he was about to pull. That was why many of them seemingly fell too easily into his traps and manipulation. 

Because of that, Eric wasn’t ready to see a pure and humble girl like you crumble down. As his best friend, he was going to try his best to make things right. 

To make sure that history wasn’t going to repeat itself.

“Alright boys, let’s take it from the top!” Sunwoo announced, after going through with everyone about their latest hit, that they would make it into their latest album. 

They had been in the studio since noon, rehearsing nonstop. They insisted that they would push through to get this new album out for their third anniversary. They wanted to try out a whole new concept this time—something that portrayed all those years they had been through as trainees. 

This new track, Hurt Me Less, is all about the end of a previous relationship and the beginning of a new one. 

As the co-writer of the song, Eric himself found it ironic that Sunwoo decided to use this as the title track, given that he knew exactly how Sunwoo had treated all the girls in the past, including you.

So many things went through his mind when he first heard it and he was allowed to co-write it with him. Was this Sunwoo’s way of finally acknowledging his past mistakes and that he was ready to move on and see romantic relationships from a different perspective? 

Eric had wanted to confront his friend for the longest time, but it just wasn’t the right timing to do so—especially when the both of them often get caught up with work, and nothing else would come to mind when they’re in the studio. 

Since they finally had a little time before their next schedule later at night, Eric decided to take Sunwoo to Han River for a little stroll and perhaps finally get a glimpse of his friend’s thoughts after so long. 

“Don’t you miss it?” Eric nudged his friend's shoulder as they walked through the river. This used to be their favourite place to escape from reality, after all, in their earlier days. 

“The hell are you being so sentimental today? I’m pretty sure you have got something up your sleeves to call me out like that,” Sunwoo spat. 

Apparently, that angered Eric, and he quickly slapped his friend in the arm. “Can’t we just go back to the good old times and take things slowly for a bit? We have been so busy preparing for the new album lately and haven’t gotten much time to hang out like we used to.” 

“Sure, but it’s finally our third anniversary, and I really want to make it special this time,” Sunwoo chuckled as he buried both hands in his jacket. 

Since Sunwoo has touched on the topic of interest, it was time for Eric to get to the point gradually. “Say, about this new song and album…what inspired you to choose this theme?” 

His friend thought about it for a while and gave an open-ended answer. “Nothing much. I just felt it would be nice to do something different. After all, music is all about experimenting with different genres.” 

“Are you sure it’s just that?” 

That was enough to make Sunwoo stop in his tracks as he narrowed his eyes towards his friend. “Youngjae-ah, what exactly are you trying to fish out from me?” 

Eric knew that whenever Sunwoo used his birth name, the conversation would turn 180 degrees as there would be no room for any jokes or mischievous acts. The gig was up, and he knew he had to speak out his deepest thoughts. 

“Sunwoo. I’m going to ask you a question, and you’ll have to answer me truthfully.” Eric then walks up to his friend, grabs hold of his shoulder and takes in a deep breath before he poses his question. “This whole new album…the title track…are any of these meant to be about your past?” 

“Or more specifically, about Y/N?”

That was enough to make Sunwoo widen his eyes and stare deeply into his friend’s. Given that his response was merely a sigh and lowering his head, he probably knew this would happen sooner or later. Eric knew Sunwoo best, after all. 

“What exactly have you deduced this time, Mr Holmes?” Sunwoo mocked. 

“Don’t play games with me, Sunwoo. I need to know the truth.” 

“Why? Are you interested in Y/N?” He scoffed, and that was enough to make Eric’s blood boil. 

“No. But I do not like how you’re dragging her into your unnecessary mess, just like you did with all the other girls.” 

Now, that was when Sunwoo was the one who got all worked up, and he immediately pushed his friend away roughly. Rage began to overtake his way of thinking logically, and he was now balling up his fists while trying his best to contain himself. 

“We don’t talk about that.”

“Well, we have to! Sunwoo, you need to stop running away from your problems and face them head-on. You’ll never overcome your fears if you live like this daily!” Eric raised his voice, and Sunwoo returned the favour by grabbing onto his collar. 

“It’s not your life. You have no rights or say so based on what I have experienced in the past. So I suggest you shut your mouth before making me do something I regret.” 

“Fine by me. If that’s what your true colours are. If only Y/N is here to see you in this state-” 

“The hell are you bringing up Y/N again in all of this? Why do you care?” 

“Because you’re in love with her, you goddamn idiot!” 

That was enough for Sunwoo to let go of his friend’s collar finally, and he began pacing around while ruffling his hair in frustration. 

“So I was right,” Eric panted. 

“T-That’s not true. I don’t have feelings for Y/N.”

“How can you be so sure? Your actions have proved otherwise these past several weeks, Sunwoo. Stop lying to yourself.” 

“Never. Romance and dating no longer exist in my books. She’s just another one of the girls.” 

With that, Eric suddenly gulped before he directed his attention to something, or rather, someone that was now behind his friend. 

“Y-You meant what you said?” 

Oh god, this was now much more messed up than it should’ve been. 

Before either of them could have a say in all of these, you instantly turned your heel towards the opposite direction. You began sprinting away, not even caring when Sunwoo was screaming for you and about to dash towards your direction. 

Until Eric gripped onto his wrists forcefully and yanked his friend back. 

“You scumbag.” That was all he said until Eric tried his best to keep up with you. 

Kim Sunwoo, what an actual jerk you are.

Act 7 (일곱): Love To Lay

Sunwoo couldn’t remember when was the last time he actually got proper sleep without having to rely on his sleeping pills. It wasn’t by choice; rather, it’s something he has been struggling with for over a year now. 

Being obsessed with shoujo mangas, there’s no doubt he absolutely enjoys romance novels and films, which was also one of the reasons he could click on Eric so well. They would often have book or film talk sessions after practice, discussing the latest trend and evaluating the way the characters proposed to one another in their respective ways. 

Also, being a social butterfly himself, he had been on the party scene for years now, and there was no doubt he had gotten a good handful of female friends he would often hang out with his group of friends in the past. 

Which was also where he met his first and only girlfriend, Miyeon. 

Miyeon was known as the beauty queen of the town, as the locals would dub her. She was well respected in the community as she was at the top of her class and often participated in volunteer work during her semester breaks from university. 

It was ironic to see a top student visit a club during the late weekday nights. Still, Sunwoo figured that everyone would eventually venture into the party scene at least once in their lifetime, no matter how good their upbringing was. It was part of youth, after all. 

It all started with them having a little conversation, followed by a bit of alcohol in their system, and then straight onto the dance floor before they ended up with a little makeout session at one of the stalls. It was Sunwoo’s first relationship, and he thought the pace they were going for was pretty reasonable. 

Miyeon was everything to him, and he would work around his tight-knit schedule to spend as much time as he could with her—even if that meant he would be getting less sleep or rest after a show. 

After all, he had never found someone who came as close as she did. They had the same interests and hobbies and could talk about any topic for hours on his couch. Miyeon would often come over to stay at Sunwoo’s apartment since it was much more convenient for them both. 

She even had a set of her own clothing, skincare and up to having her makeup products at his place. She was pretty much treating his place like her second home, and Sunwoo was completely fine with that. 

They even talked about getting engaged once, and Sunwoo was ecstatic about the thought, and he couldn’t stop giving her cuddles and kisses that day. Ever since then, he started working tirelessly to get the engagement ring that he’d had his eyes on for a while, and he knew that it would suit Miyeon’s taste.

However, Miyeon started getting a lot busier not long after as she had recently changed her job, and she wasn’t able to meet up with Sunwoo as often anymore. Hence, their dates slowly dropped down to having three to only once per week, or sometimes only meeting each other just once a fortnight. 

As much as Sunwoo was worried that she was working way too hard she should, there was no reason to doubt her since she always excelled at everything that she had done. She was still texting Sunwoo every day without fail on Kakao, so everything was under control. 

At least, that was what Sunwoo thought. 

Since it was going to be her birthday soon and he finally had gotten his first paycheck after a successful first The Boyz concert, he was able to use that to get his hands on the engagement ring that he had asked the shopkeepers to keep for him for a couple of months now. 

Eagerly, he walked out of the store with the blue Tiffany & Co. bag in his hands as he made his way towards her apartment to surprise her. 

Until he focused his attention on the couple on the other side of the road. 

The couple both held ice cream in their hands as they played around with the dessert playfully, taking some with their fingers and smearing it across each other’s noses. They were also laughing and having a lot of fun—way too much fun, actually. 

At least, Miyeon was. 

Sunwoo wasn’t sure how he would confront Miyeon about it—in fact, he couldn’t. Sure, he was confused as hell, but the thought of Miyeon potentially having an affair outside this relationship seemed unlikely. He couldn’t fathom the thought of her doing that, and he refused to believe it and was convinced that it must be a sick joke. 

That night, Sunwoo tried his best to make everything seem normal as he entered Miyeon’s apartment. Miyeon was showering him with kisses and telling him all about how she was sorry for being late as she was out shopping for ingredients for their sukiyaki dinner date. 

Lies. 

At that point, they hadn’t seen each other for two weeks, and Miyeon went on and on about how she was away for a business trip and had just returned to Seoul that evening. It was hard for her to hail a cab as they were all pretty much booked until she needed to contact one of her colleagues to give her a ride back into the city and return home. 

Lies. 

After that, they had a little movie night and spent much time cuddling on the couch. It would’ve been a lie to say Sunwoo didn’t miss her scent. He just couldn’t help but rest his nose into her soft brunette hair and savour as much of the scent he had loved so deeply over the past year of their relationship. 

“I miss your scent too, Sunwoo. It’s been hell without having you beside me for weeks,” Miyeon sulked as she hugged Sunwoo tighter. 

Lies. 

Even as they went to sleep that night in Miyeon’s room, Sunwoo could clearly feel a distance between the two. Miyeon was sleeping on her side, so her back was facing him. As much as he wanted to touch her, to carry and hold her in his arms, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

We are just strangers in a bed. 

Sunwoo went on like this for a month, ignoring all of the red flags that he had been getting and seeing for the past several weeks—he kept convincing himself that he was living in a horrible nightmare and it would soon be over. 

As Miyeon started getting busier again with her “work,” Sunwoo returned to focus more on his career. Ultimately, this was a huge failure, as his performance started deteriorating horribly, to the point that it was affecting the other members in the group. 

Every time the members confronted him about it, Sunwoo just shrugged it off, saying that he hadn’t gotten much sleep because of their busy schedule. However, they knew deep down that something was very much off, and Eric was determined to find out exactly what had happened. 

One night after their pre-recording at Music Bank, Sunwoo went out for a little walk around the area, and Eric followed behind discreetly. It didn’t even take Sunwoo more than five minutes until he had come to a halt, and Eric did exactly the same until his eyes travelled along where Sunwoo had landed.

Miyeon was accepting what seemed like an engagement ring from the very same guy Sunwoo had his eyes on the other day. 

Rage instantly filled him, and this time, he couldn’t help but confront them straight ahead. He desperately had hoped that Miyeon would feel a little remorse or at least appear shocked to see that her boyfriend had caught her red-handed. After all, Sunwoo just wanted answers as he wasn’t in the mood to make this a huge deal. 

But apparently, Miyeon didn’t think of that in the same way. 

The heated conversation between the two of them would always come to haunt Sunwoo, and he would never forget about all of the things Miyeon had just spat right into his face back then. 

Love is just a pretend. 

Your love for me is crazy. 

You’ll never be the right one for me. 

Since that day, Sunwoo’s hatred for romance has constantly grown, and he often has a couple of outbursts, especially when he is alone in his apartment. How couldn’t he? Especially when Miyeon’s stuff was scattered all throughout his comfort space. 

To make matters worse, Miyeon even had the guts to contact Sunwoo after all that she had done to make him return all of her things that were still left in his apartment. 

Did Sunwoo do just that?

Absolutely not. 

He got rid of every item she owned— throwing them into the trash or burning them in his fireplace. Anger would always accompany him whenever he did so, and it frustrated him that Miyeon would betray him like that.

It was then that Sunwoo decided that romance was just total bullshit and there would never be such a thing of true love for him. He blocked her number and deleted everything that reminded him about her. 

Sunwoo felt like he was on autopilot for the first couple of months, and he would just go out to the nightclubs every day and pick up every girl he could find and tease them a little. Eventually, when the girls started having feelings for him, he would run away before anything further than that could happen. 

Love was like a game for him now, and it didn’t matter if he would break those girls' hearts. All he wanted was to feel the thrill of being loved and wanted, and if he had gotten what he needed, then that was fine by him.

He couldn’t face rejection again. What happened with him and Miyeon has left a deep scar within him, and he’ll never be able to fix it. He has learned it the hard way from that breakup. 

Until you came into the picture. 

It was definitely the first time someone mistook their phone as theirs and accidentally took his instead. He found it amusing, and he absolutely found your reaction back during the first encounter hilarious. He genuinely just enjoyed your company that night. 

But there was something different about you—you weren’t like all the other girls he had encountered at the nightclubs. You were just so pure and genuine, and you didn’t want him just for his flirtatious demeanour and good looks. You were savage as hell, and you always spoke the truth and made him laugh. 

It has been a while since someone could put Sunwoo back into his place. 

That’s why he couldn’t bear the thought of doing the nasty when you brought him to the club that night. He knew that the moment he got a sip of alcohol into his system, he wasn’t going to be able to hold himself back from doing something he was going to regret.

Miraculously, he did. He was able to stop himself before things got too far. The both of you only had a heated makeout session before Sunwoo finally grabbed your wrist and stopped you in your tracks. He had no choice but to drag you all the way back into his vehicle before driving off to his apartment. 

As much as he wanted to bring you straight back home, you were already sleeping so soundly on the way back, and he knew that he was definitely going to get killed by your roommate if she saw her friend in this state. Ultimately, he did what he thought was best—taking you back into his apartment and helping you change into much more comfortable clothing before tucking you into bed. 

Sunwoo slept on the couch next to his bed that night, and he couldn’t stop looking in your direction as you tossed and turned around all night. It was clear to him that you were having a horrible nightmare, and you kept mumbling incoherent words as you began sweating profoundly. 

He had enough and decided to get up and sit right next to you, and that was when he heard your words loud and clear. 

“Please don’t hurt me…I’ve done nothing wrong…Don’t leave me…” 

Instantly, you grabbed his wrist and hugged it tightly as you adjusted your sleeping position towards him. Sunwoo had no idea why that made him go all soft for you, and he instantly began rubbing away the tears from your eyes and leaned down to give a little peck on your forehead. 

He wished he could’ve done something to relieve your pain and that he would snuggle with you to bed if that would have made it a lot better for you to sleep soundly for the night.

But he knew that once the sun rises the next day, he would go back to being the playboy Kim Sunwoo that the public had labelled him to be.

You’re in love with her.

Those words pierced right through Sunwoo’s heart every single time his mind flashed back to that night when Eric confronted him right before you came.

He hasn’t spoken to his good friend since, and it has been close to a week now. Sunwoo decided to call in sick for the week, and the rest of the members went on with rehearsals without him—he wasn’t in the right mindset to put on his idol persona anyway. 

The couch right next to his fireplace was his go-to for the past week, and Sunwoo would just sit there for hours staring into the flames, thinking about those words that his friend had said right to his face that day. 

It was as if those were the words that needed to be said straight to his face, for he knew that his relationship with yours meant something—a lot more compared to all of the other girls that he had gotten involved with in the past. 

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, you were slowly breaking down his steel heart, which had been sealed shut for years. Little did you know that you were slowly healing his broken heart day by day. Sunwoo adored everything about you, and you were constantly on his mind throughout the day. 

You have officially taken over his mind; everything he does daily reminds him of you. 

But Sunwoo just couldn’t admit that out loud. After he had sworn that he was done with romance, he couldn't. 

However, Sunwoo had been sitting at his fireplace for days, and he kept thinking throughout the day and night. 

What if you were the key to fixing him? 

What if you were finally the one who would make him realise it’s okay to fall in love again? 

What if…you were the right one that was meant to be with him?

With that, Sunwoo leaned back against his couch with his hands covering his eyes as he grunted for the hundredth time of the day.

Stop messing things up, you good-for-nothing idiot.

Act 8 (여덟): A Lonely Night

You couldn’t recall when was the last time you actually got a proper meal. Ever since that day when you overhead the conversation between Sunwoo and Eric, you were dashing straight towards the streets, not caring if people were giving you weird looks in the slightest. 

You quickly hail a taxi and give the driver your apartment address—you just don’t have the strength to take public transport anymore in your current state. 

The moment you opened your front door, your roommate was already expecting your return, with her arms crossed and feet tapping the ground. However, her expression softened when she saw that you were an absolute wreck in your current state. She immediately opened her arms wide, and you quickly slipped into her embrace and started crying again. 

It hurts so much, and you don’t know why exactly that is. 

Sunwoo was just a casual friend. You were both hanging out a lot more often these days, and he just so happened to be the very first man after your ex to have treated you exactly the way a woman should be treated. That was it, and there wasn’t much more to add to that. 

But deep down, you were expecting—no, hoping—that perhaps there was something a little bit more to that. 

Maybe you’re the one who was insane for thinking that way. 

He was a celebrity, and you are just a girl working in PR who happened to be able to work with renowned artists many times. 

There was absolutely no way that there could’ve been something more to that. 

You quickly wiped away your tears as you slowly pushed Flo away, trying your best to muster up whatever strength you had left within you to talk before your tears were about to flow again for the hundredth time tonight. 

“Flo…I just…I wanna go back,” you sniffled. 

With a sigh, your roommate began rubbing your back to comfort you. “I know. But rest up first for the night. Maybe I’ll make you some chamomile tea with extra boba to calm you down while we watch a little bit of Netflix? I’ll help you pack tomorrow morning, and we’ll call Lyla and Bella.” 

You chuckled. “What would I ever do without you?”

“By the way, I’m not doing all of these for free. You better get me VIP tickets to your next upcoming show with whoever celeb that you’re going to be working with.” 

“Deal.”

“Alright, let’s go have some girls’ night, shall we?” Flo gently flicked your forehead before dragging you into the living room. 

You couldn’t recall when you last enjoyed the countryside view from the train. 

You usually take the subway within Seoul, but it’s been a while since you took the train that goes from one province to another—especially where you grew up. 

Leaving Busan a year ago was a huge step for you, especially since you have always lived with your friends and family—basically being in your own comfort zone. You loved everything here, and there wasn’t much reason to move since Busan practically had almost everything Seoul had. 

The nightlife here was how you’ve always loved—going out to clubs while you knew almost everyone in your little town on the outskirts of Busan, and everyone just looked out for each other often. 

However, after the way things ended with your ex, you needed some time and space alone and thought that perhaps a location change would benefit you. The past year has been amazing in the city, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’ll never give you the comfort you loved best when you were back home.

And that was something you desperately needed right now. 

As soon as the train came to a halt and you stepped out of the vehicle, you quickly dashed right through the door and into both of your friends’ arms—they had been expecting your arrival since this morning. 

It’s been a while since you had spent time with both Lyla and Bella, so the three of you took the time to walk slowly back to the countryside while dragging your luggage behind you. As soon as they helped you settle down in your old home, the three of you quickly dashed out of the house to get a quick bite of local food down at the town centre. 

The three of you had fun browsing from store to store and filling your stomachs to the brink of possibly throwing up everything you had just consumed. You would constantly laugh at one another about how Lyla and Bella would look silly with ice cream smeared all over their mouths, and they would fight back when you accidentally got Malatang all over your shirt. 

These were the kinds of bickering that you’ve missed so badly. Sure, you always bicker with Flo, but both Lyla and Bella were the OGs constantly coming for your neck. You’re still holding onto the hope of bringing Flo to visit your childhood best friends someday. 

Now that the three of you had your own flavours of churros in hand, you decided to take a little stroll at the nearby park right before exiting the town and returning to the countryside. As soon as you found a comfortable bench that was more than enough for the three of you to take a break, Lyla was the first to start the conversation you have been dreading talking about since coming back.

But you knew that you couldn’t hide much from them any more; they knew all of the details by now (thanks to Flo, who would constantly keep them updated) and were this close to heading straight to Seoul with their pots and pans to head straight up to Sunwoo’s apartment to give him a lesson. 

“I honestly don’t know what to tell you guys. It all happened, and he just so happened to be the same as my ex,” you shrugged as you took a bite of your churros. 

“Men are all the same; they suck,” Lyla commented with her mouth full. 

“Trust that I’m tying him up and throwing him straight into the Egyptian river if we ever cross paths with one another,” Bella threatened as she pointed her churros straight into your face. 

“But wait…didn’t you mention that they were preparing for an upcoming comeback?” Lyla asked. 

You sighed. “That’s the problem. And I am again part of the PR team's line-up.”

“Damn. That’s brutal,” Bella spat. 

“It sure is,” you replied. 

“Well, what are you going to do about it then?” Lyla asked. 

You contemplated for a little while before telling your friends about your decision: “I am thinking of quitting the company.” 

Immediately, both Lyla and Bella shot up from their seats, not caring if the whipped cream on their churros fell straight down to the ground. Frustration was slowly creeping up to them and you were stunned by their reaction—you had no clue why they would be mad about your decision. 

“What do you mean you want to leave? You do know that means that you’ll never get to meet celebrities any more-”

“That’s not the point, Lyla. Look, Y/N. I don’t want to jinx anything, but you’re treating this issue as running away again, just like you did with your ex. You know, escaping from your problems will never help you to put a proper closure to them.” 

You hated the fact how much that truth hurt—it almost felt like you were being stabbed with a bunch of needles all at once. As much as you wanted to face them properly, you couldn’t. You couldn’t bear the thought of going through all the pain once again, and you wanted to omit all of the horrible outcomes that could potentially happen after all this. 

You also didn’t know how to feel about Sunwoo. Clearly, it wasn’t his fault for saying what he did back at Han River. Celebrities are not meant to date as to adhere to their company rules. If they did, they would get into big trouble, and you would be partly to blame. 

But why did that matter to you so much? 

Why did those words sting as hell? 

Most importantly, why did it matter to you anyway?

As you took a deep breath, you finally stood up and threw your leftover churros into the bin before placing both hands on each side of your friends’ shoulders. 

“Look, I appreciate both of you constantly looking out for me, even in different cities for work. Frankly, I don’t really want to talk about this anymore, and I will venture out to find something much more fitting for my current well-being. Let’s just go home now, hmm?” 

Both Lyla and Bella could only soften their eyes as they looked at you, who was close to shedding tears again. They could only pull you in for a hug before taking you back to your home and giving you some time to rest up since you have been out all day since you stepped down from the train. 

Your parents were away visiting some family members, so you had the entire house to yourself. You were used to being alone, and you enjoyed some peace and quiet occasionally, but it all just felt too eerily quiet. 

The emotions were creeping back to you, and you hated how you were slowly becoming overwhelmed with them again. 

Everything you saw reminded you about Sunwoo—how you both would sit together on his couch to watch anime, the way the leftover instant ramen in the kitchen reminded you about your little convenience store dates and how you slept in his bed when you were passed out drunk. 

As much as you tried your best to get him out of your head, you couldn’t.

And you hated that so much. 

Just as you are about to turn to sleep on your side, your phone lights up on your nightstand, so you extend your hands to check the notification that you have received.

managing director: Lads, be ready for our online briefing tomorrow at 10 a.m. on Zoom about The Boyz's upcoming showcase. 

Frustration began to consume your thoughts, and you just threw your phone onto the other side of the bed before burying your face into your pillow, screaming into it and wishing that you could quickly escape from this horrible nightmare. 

Kim Sunwoo, this is all your fault.

Miles apart back in the heart of Seoul, Sunwoo was once again staring at his ceiling as he lay down on his bed. There was nothing much that he could’ve done other than thinking about you wherever he went. With that, the bed was nowhere near as good as his fireplace, especially when he was the one who tucked you into his bed when you were drunk. 

Sunwoo hasn’t come up with a conclusion after all that thinking at his fireplace throughout the week, and it frustrates him that he doesn’t really know how to feel about all of this. 

Actually, scratch that. He clearly knows how he feels about you, but he refuses to admit it out loud. 

The only thing that has been helping Sunwoo to cope is that he would feel inspired to write songs about his emotions, and he did exactly just did right before hopping into bed.

The music score was situated right on his nightstand, and he groaned before taking it quickly and sat up to read the lyrics that he had just written down an hour ago.

Better when we’re both apart.  We’re no good for each other.  A lonely night, Baby girl, I loved you on a lonely night.  It was the only time If I led you on I apologize. How can I make you rethink your decision?

That made Sunwoo’s jaw dropped. He didn’t know that he wrote all of these the hour before—it was as if he was on autopilot, and he clearly wrote down his deepest thoughts about the whole situation.

I loved her? Did I really just write that down? 

Sunwoo kept staring at those three words, and he was now sitting frozen in bed, thinking that if that was really what he had been meaning to say out loud for so long. 

Without thinking much, he quickly grabbed his phone and began frantically searching up about something. 

Or rather, your location. 

He needed to get this off his chest, and he needed to talk to you right now. If he doesn’t, this will continue to haunt him for months, and he wasn’t going to be his best self any more. 

Immediately, he jumped right out of bed and rummaged through his wardrobe to take whatever he needed for the little short trip he was going on for a while.

He didn’t care if his manager would lecture him about skipping the morning rehearsals and meetings—it was the most important thing to him right now. 

Even if that meant he would be miles away from Seoul, he would get his message straight and clear to you this time.

Act 9 (아홉): Nothing Without You

If it hadn’t been for Lyla and Bella calling you nonstop for thirty minutes, you would’ve been in big trouble and missed out on your online meeting with your colleagues. 

You did your best to stay focused during the meeting—jotting down all the information required to run the show successfully in three days. It was a lot to take in, and all of you were expected to perform your very best, considering that this would be a rather crucial showcase for the artist, and many important figures from the industry would also be there. 

It seemed as if their company decided to go all out to make sure that the showcase was going to be as grand as possible, and the only thing you could assume was that they had to keep up with the image that they had painted in the industry and continue to keep their artist’s popularity at its best. 

Certain things did frustrate you a little, and so many questions ran through your mind as you questioned their company's decisions. But you were just someone who works in PR, and all you had to do was adhere to the rules and regulations and nothing else. 

After all, you decided you would quit after this one last show. 

The moment the meeting was over, and you decided to shut your laptop down, you could briefly hear some muffled noises coming from your front porch. You were confused as hell since you weren’t expecting any visitors for the day. Other than that, you told your friends that you would only be available during the night for some get-together at dinner since you needed some time alone in the afternoon to sort out the upcoming event. 

Curiously, you slowly stepped to your front door before pulling the sliding door apart, only to see that both Lyla and Bella were far from your house. It seemed as if they were arguing about something…or rather, with someone.

Now, you were more concerned than before. The only person who could get both your friends this riled up was your ex, and that confrontation between them did not go down well the last time it happened—which was also the last time you saw him.

As far as you know, your ex was long gone from your village, and he had moved all the way to Jeju to settle down with his new fiancé. So, who exactly could it be this time? 

“Guys, what did I say about having a heated argument in front of my house-” 

You were about to break your friends up from the commotion until all three of them turned back to look straight at you. 

And you were certainly not expecting the one in the middle of your friends to be here at all.

“S-Sunwoo?” 

“N-No! Y/N, you must be real tired from the meeting, hmm? Why don’t I take you inside to get some ice-cream that’s left in your freezer? Yeah, let’s do exactly that!” Lyla began panicking as she tried to lure you away from the scene, but she should’ve known how persistent you could be and that you were already breaking free from her grasp. 

Neither of you could say anything and just stared at one another for a good ten seconds. However, your friends definitely did not take the situation well, and they were not ready to see you cry your eyes out for the hundredth time. 

“You don’t belong here, Kim. I say you should leave, and don’t you even dare try anything stupid,” Bella hissed. 

“Look, I’m going to leave, that is after I talk to Y/N-”

“What is there to talk about? Was hurting her not enough for you? You men truly are scumbags-” 

“Lyla, enough.” 

Your response was short and simple, but it was enough to make everyone stop what they were doing and divert their attention towards you. You slowly walked up to Sunwoo and gently grabbed his shirt to gesture to him to walk in the other direction. 

“Leave us alone for a couple of minutes. I believe there’s a long-overdue conversation that both of us must get out of the way for weeks. I won’t take long, I promise.” 

With that, you excused yourself and tugged Sunwoo’s tee to walk him through your neighbourhood and slowly towards the park where you often hung out with your friends. Neither of you could start the conversation, and it was just pure silence throughout the ten-minute walk from your house. 

However, Sunwoo figured food was the best option to start the conversation. Thankfully, there was a convenience store near the park, and the two of you quickly went in to grab a little snack to break the ice between you hopefully. 

He went for his Neoguri Ramyeon as usual, and you decided a little matcha latte would do the trick. You don’t think that you’re able to stomach anything for now, just in case you will cry once again and could potentially throw up everything you had just consumed. 

As much as you detested that he once again paid for everything, you reluctantly accepted the offer and quietly held your warm cup of beverage in hand as you both sat down at the bench in the park, keeping a distance from one another. 

All you could do was stare down at the lid of the latte, your fingers tapping on the hot cup while trying your best to calm your emotions down. Sunwoo was busy slurping away his noodles, and it was slowly starting to annoy you slightly. 

“You still have the appetite to eat?” You scoffed. 

“Look, I had to get last-minute tickets for the earliest train from Seoul to Busan. Be grateful that at least I’ve arrived on time,” Sunwoo protested while stuffing his mouth with the noodles. 

You wished you could respond to his sarcasm the way you usually would, but it seemed that the enthusiasm you once had for all that was now long gone, and you could only clear your throat in response. 

Sunwoo was now clearly reading the atmosphere, and he swallowed the last bite of his noodles before tossing the cup into the trash bin beside him. Instantly, he placed both hands together and began rubbing them nervously as he leaned down to look at the ground. 

“Y/N, I…I’ve been such a jerk to you after everything we have been through. It’s unfair for you, and I have been deceiving myself after all these years.”

That last line caught you off guard. “Excuse me?” 

“I once had a girl whom I loved so much that my world revolved around her. She was my everything, and I wouldn’t hesitate to drop whatever I was doing to be with her and to make her the happiest girl in the world. But betrayal and lust are definitely not planned in the books, and they are truly the most unpleasant things that happen to someone in life.” 

You knew those two words very well. After all, you were also a victim once. 

“She…did unthinkable things, which has made me the person I am today. I ignored it long enough, thinking it was fine to continue living like this. That is, until I met you,” Sunwoo’s voice softened at that last line, and he finally lifted his head to look straight into your eyes. 

“Y/N. You showed me what true friendship is, and I fell in love with how you could always be so pure and honest with your feelings and emotions. You made me realise that what I have been doing wasn’t just hurting and deceiving others and myself. I can’t live on like this, and I desperately want to change.” 

Sunwoo took one of your hands and intertwined his fingers with yours, giving you this soft puppy look to show his sincerity.

“Y/N. I need you. Will you please accept this offer?” 

You were too stunned to give him a proper response. You were certain that you probably spent a minute just staring at him before you felt that your cheeks were suddenly wet to the touch, and that’s when you realised that tears were streaming down your face again.

Sure, you have expected Sunwoo to travel all this way to see you and to talk things out, but you weren’t expecting a confession from the male himself. 

Relief swept over you, and all the worries troubling you were gone. Unfortunately, the heartbreak was far stronger than the latter, and you don’t have the room or strength to go through the turmoil again. 

With that, you gently pushed his hands away and stood up from the bench, wiping your tears away before turning your heel in the opposite direction. 

“Maybe you should’ve thought all that through before placing the nail in the coffin.”

Act 10 (열): Die For You

Coming back to Seoul was a lot harder than you expected it to be. You were this close to potentially ditching your final job and just calling in sick, but you knew it wouldn’t be ideal, and you had promised to work together with your team for one last time. 

After dropping by the office to hand in your resignation letter, you made your way towards the concert hall and went straight to work without having a proper break before everything. It was all fine by you; after all, getting yourself occupied was the very least you could do to keep your mind off things for a while. 

However, you underestimated the workload you would deal with, as their showcase this time seemed a lot more complex than the ones you were used to. There were a few mishaps here and there, but that didn’t stop you from continuing your task. 

T-minus 12 hours more till I’m done with all of these. 

Having that as a constant reminder has proven to be a lot more helpful than before, and slowly, your motivation was coming back to finishing up things as quickly and detailed as you could before the showcase was about to begin. 

Journalists and newscasters flocked to the venue first, and your PR team had to deal with them firsthand. It wasn’t too bad, as talking to people has always been your forte. Just like that, it was time for the fans to enter the hall slowly. Soon enough, you and your team headed backstage to help the artists and other staff prepare for the show. 

The band members slowly stepped out one by one and started putting on their in-ear pieces and getting their instruments ready. Of course, Sunwoo still had that same puppy-doe-eyed look as he had the day before back in Busan. 

He was constantly trying his best to grab your attention—giving you a hiss or a little wave, but you had no desire to return those to him. Instead, you flat-out ignored the guy and constantly got yourself busy by going around to each station to check with the other staff. 

It wasn’t long before the members were scheduled to go up on stage, and Sunwoo gave you one final look and mouthed something towards you before taking that step up to greet the fans. 

Watch me. 

You could only sigh and cross your arms as you watched from backstage as The Boyz first greeted all of their fans and the reporters before positioning their instruments to prepare for the first opening act. They started with their title track, Hurt Me Less, and soon followed it with a few more tracks from the album before having a little Q&A session with the fans.

Finally, they ended the showcase by performing one last song before all of the members walked up to the front of the stage and bowed towards the audience. One by one, each member was exiting the stage and started to take off their in-ear pieces. 

That is, all except for Sunwoo.

He stood frozen for a few seconds on stage, and immediately, whispers filled the hall, thinking that everything was alright with the artist himself. 

Not for long, Sunwoo lifted his head and walked back to the centre of the stage—adjusting his microphone and slinging his guitar on his shoulders again.

Obviously, everyone backstage started panicking and tried their best to get Sunwoo off the stage, as it was not going according to the schedule. You, too, were trying to hiss at the male to get his attention, call it a night, and end the performance right there and there.

But it seemed the male had something in mind, and he wouldn’t budge. 

Instead, he turned to look straight at you and gave you a little smile before diverting his attention towards the crowd once again.

“I apologise for the sudden change of plans, but this is something that I have been meaning to do for a while now. You see, we performed all seven tracks in our latest album, but one hidden track has not yet been released to the public. So here I am tonight, revealing the hidden track to all of my precious fans, but most importantly, to a special someone.” 

Just then, Sunwoo began strumming his guitar and started playing the song's tune. As he slowly finished the intro and was just about to start singing the lyrics, he turned to look straight at you and smiled at you as he mumbled a few more words. 

“This song is specially written and dedicated to you.” I'm findin' ways to articulate the feelin' I'm goin' through I just can't say I don't love you (Yeah) 'Cause I love you, yeah It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold But tonight, I'm gon' let you know Let me tell the truth Baby, let me tell the truth, yeah

No. That can’t be.

You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry You're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night I'm scared that I'll miss you, happens every time I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love I try to find a reason to pull us apart It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect And I know that you're worth it I can't walk away, oh

“W-What…What are you trying to tell me, Sunwoo?” You choked on your words.

Even though we're goin' through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'cause Baby, I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah

As he finishes the first half of the song, Sunwoo takes some time to strum his guitar, letting the audience follow along with the rhythm as he takes a deep breath before making another speech. 

“These lyrics…I have been thinking about them for a while now. These feelings have haunted me for weeks, and now I know I must convey them properly to the special someone,” Sunwoo spoke softly before he continued with the second half of the song.

You had no idea why that was the last blow before tears began streaming down your face uncontrollably, and you dashed right through the exit, not caring that your co-workers were calling you from behind. 

You continued running through the night, not caring where you’d end up; you just needed some time to be alone and let out all the feelings you had been bottling for so long. 

Eventually, you ended up back at Han River, and you immediately went to the nearest bench and lay there helplessly. Your emotions were far stronger than your ability to think logically right now, and you just wanted to cry out loud for as long as you could. 

You have no idea how long has passed since then, but you were pretty sure that you had at least cried for half an hour before you dozed off. By the time you woke up, you felt that the rock-solid bench suddenly felt way too soft and comfortable. 

And how warm it was. 

It was then you realised that you weren’t just lying on the bench but rather on someone. 

“S-Sunwoo!?” You screamed as you realised that you had been lying down on his lap for God knows how long, and you quickly tried to sit back up, but the male decided to push you back down instead.

“Now I’m very heartbroken, Princess. How could you leave in the middle of the spectacular performance I’ve spent so long working on, especially for you?” He sulked. 

Those last words stung you again, and you lifted both of your hands to cover your face once more as you felt that you were about to cry again. But it seemed that Sunwoo wasn’t buying it this time, and he quickly grabbed both of your wrists to stop you. 

“Look at me, Y/N. Stop running away from me,” he commanded. 

“W-What makes you think I’d listen to you? You have done nothing but lie to me all this time. You hurt my feelings, and you treated me like one of the girls that you have always sought comfort from. You’re an idiot to think if you’d stand a fair chance-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Sunwoo sealed your lips with his and gently lifted your head slightly to make it easier for him to gain access. It’s been a while since you tasted his soft, plump lips, and you immediately softened up when you tasted that familiar strawberry lip gloss that you used the same one as he did.

As he slowly pulled away and placed you back onto his lap, he caressed your cheeks and wiped the remaining teardrops away. “Sorry that I was rough with you. It was the best thing I could think of to get a woman to stop crying.” 

“S-Sunwoo…I-”

“Y/N. Please. I need to hear your thoughts about how you truly feel about this. I know I’m the worst jerk alive and that me going to Busan to apologise to you wasn’t enough. Words aren’t my forte, so I conveyed my feelings through performing. But you have to know that whatever I’ve sung back there, those really are the words that I desperately wanted to get across all this time and that I’m done playing games.” 

Just then, he slowly moved his hands from your cheek to your lips and gently brushed against it. “Y/N, I can now confidently say that you mean a lot to me. You’re more than just a friend, a companion who eats Neoguri Ramyun with me all the time at the convenience store, and also the one who just happens to get me all the damn time.” 

With one final deep breath, he leans down again to plant a kiss on your forehead before muttering those simple words.

“Y/N, I’m in love with you.” 

It was so simple, yet captivating enough for you. 

You have so desperately wanted to hear those words from him—to know if it has helped you finally cleared all of your suspicions and doubts from the beginning. To the public, it was absurd for a commoner like you to fall in love with a celebrity and vice versa, but you were certain that those memories that you both have made weren’t just for show, and Sunwoo’s actions and words for the night have proven that enough to you. 

Nobody would’ve thought that a simple encounter between you both, exchanging your phones and meeting up at a convenience store to eat, would lead to the current situation that you both were in. 

Was it fate? Or just purely a coincidence? Neither of that matters to you right now. 

Instead, you snaked one of your hands back up to his neck and pulled him down to connect your lips with his again, taking your time to savour his sweet, plump lips truly. Sunwoo was initially taken aback, but he slowly blended in and began picking up his pace, his tongue swirling around yours. 

As soon as you both broke apart to get some air, you realised you had just returned the sneaky and flirtatious Sunwoo as he brushed his fingers on his lips and gave you a sly smirk. 

“You could’ve just told me you wanted me this bad,” Sunwoo hummed. 

“You’re sick in the head,” you replied as you finally sat back up. 

“So…I take it as a yes to my proposal?” Sunwoo grinned. 

“What proposal?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Frankly, I don’t.”

“Is that so? Maybe you want to reconnect your lips with mine again? Maybe it’ll then give you a better insight of what I was trying to tell you all along-”

“Your breath stinks,” you stuck your tongue out at him. 

“No, it doesn’t!” Sunwoo quickly lets out a breath onto his palm before sniffing it himself. “You liar! I just used my favourite citrus mouthwash before the show!” 

You immediately giggled at the sight, and Sunwoo was delighted to see you returning to the Y/N he knew. Just then, he places his arms over your shoulders and rests your head against his chest as you both take the time to admire the sky filled with dozens of stars. 

“Say, you’re not supposed to be here, are you?”

“Hey, I’m still a model employee, okay? I quickly wrapped things up at the showcase before rushing to find you sleeping like a baby here.” 

“I’m not a baby,” you sulked.

“Your sleeping position says otherwise,” Sunwoo retorted as he shoved his phone right into your face, showing you a picture he had taken just seconds after he arrived to see you sleeping soundly on the bench. 

“Hey! Delete that right now!” You screamed as you tried your best to reach for his phone while he was retreating to make you fall right back into his arms again.”

“You’re a persistent one, aren’t you?” 

“Shut the fuck up, Kim Sunwoo. You’re insufferable.” 

“Be honest, you love me.”

“Only a fool would love a guy like you.”

“Oh, so you’re the fool now, then!”

Sunwoo immediately regrets saying those words as he earned a hard slap from you in return. “I’m leaving if you make one more flirtatious remark.” 

He then lifts his hands to show that he surrendered, and you give him a pout before resting your head back onto his chest again. As you finally take in everything that had happened today, a smile plasters across your face before you close your eyes and mumble the words you have wanted to say to him. 

“Thank you, Sunwoo. For giving me a chance to love again.” 

“Anything for you, my Princess,” Sunwoo replied before kissing your forehead again. “Neoguri Ramyun date again later?” 

“Does your life really have to revolve around Neoguri Ramyun on a daily basis?”

“Can’t blame me; that’s my daily energy source. But so that you know, I will be bringing you to a lot more dates from now on, and I’m never going to let you leave my side again. Be prepared for that, Y/N.” 

You scoffed. “Tempting. Add on a matcha-day only date to the books, too.”

With that, Sunwoo smiled at you and rubbed his nose against yours. “Consider it done.”

The sounds of the fire crackling were the only things that filled the room for the past half an hour, as Sunwoo spent the entire time writing whatever came to mind in his trusty, worn-out notebook in front of his fireplace. 

The Boyz’s latest album has proven to be their most successful comeback, and who would’ve thought that the hidden track was the most beloved song out of all of the songs from the album itself. 

It definitely wasn’t his intention for it to be more well-received than their title track. Still, the members were more than happy that they were getting the recognition nonetheless, and of course, with Sunwoo, who’s finally back on track and much happier. 

News immediately made headlines when the public found out that he has been seeing a non-celebrity, but both of you were thankful that his fans were supportive, and Sunwoo has managed to keep you out of the spotlight most of the time. 

It was crazy to think that a few months had passed since then, and you had decided to move in with Sunwoo for the past month. You’ve quit your PR job; instead, you are now working as his manager. 

You both have made it clear to establish personal and business relations and most of the time, everything works out. There are times when both of you have to give up one thing for the other, but you have never failed to talk things through and make it work.

Just as Sunwoo was deep in his creative mindset, his train of thought was cut off when you climbed into his lap and cuddled with your boyfriend.

“Seems like my kitten misses me a little bit too much, hmm?” 

“Don’t be stupid. You’re sitting on my couch, dumbass.” 

“Hey, this is my apartment; who said this couch belongs to you?”

“This couch was from my old apartment, so it’s mine,” you stuck your tongue out before trying to see what he was up to. “New song?”

“Yeah. Was feeling a little inspired,” Sunwoo hummed. 

With that, you could only look straight at his side profile and admire how he looked when working. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you have come to love the guitarist Kim Sunwoo. He always put in a hundred percent when he worked, inspiring you to do the same as his current manager.

“Care to share with me what the new song is all about?” You pinched his cheeks, but he gently pushed you away. “That’s not fair. I’m your manager, so I deserve to know.” 

“Now now, it’ll just ruin the fun if I tell you all about it now.”

“Fine then. No Neoguri Ramyun for you tonight,” you crossed your arms before he finally gave in and hugged you tightly.

“You can’t use my source of nutrition against me,” he sulked. 

“I can, and I will if you don’t tell me now.”

Sunwoo sighed. “Fine. It’s titled Starboy. I guess it gives a little glimpse into the current fame that I have gotten over the past several years.” 

As you took in what you had just heard from your boyfriend, you couldn’t help but snort at his comment, earning a little smack on your shoulder. “How dare you mock me?”

“Nah, it’s nothing. I just think that it’s absurd that you want to write a song about that.”

“Yeah no, you’re looking down on me, Y/N. I’m going to make sure you-” 

Before he could finish his sentence, you cupped both cheeks and brought his lips to yours, giving him a kiss that made his heart beat ten times faster than it already was. He definitely did not expect a sudden move from you since he always initiated a kiss with you.

As you pulled apart from him, you gently laid your forehead against him, and you caressed his now red flushed cheeks. 

“Kim Sunwoo, you’re already and will forever be my Starboy.”

A/N: i def struggled writing this yes...but i hope i did it justice nontheless 😭

masterlist

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[skzhua]

a price i'm willing to pay | part 14 - the sparklers.

MASTERLIST

pairing: ceo!bang chan x entrepreneur!reader

genre: social media!au, arranged marriage, fake relationship, fluff, angst.

warnings: swearing, alcohol.

summary: following a scandal threatening the survival of your business, you have no choice but to associate yourself with a competitive company.

"Wonhee will be there!" you exclaimed as you tossed your phone away.

Both Hyunjin and Minho looked at you curiously. "Who?" Hyunjin asked.

Minho was quick to hit his arm, causing the man to wince at the touch. "You've met her before, don't act like you don't know who she is."

"I would but I genuinely have no idea."

"Y/N's sister," Chan informed as he joined the three of you with a clipboard in hands. "We saw her at the bar last time we went."

"Right," Hyunjin hummed with a frown.

"Alright," Chan continued. "Hyunjin, we still have the pictures with Lix to take and then your part will be over. Jisung?"

The assistant hurried to his boss and smiled. "Here."

"Could you and Changbin change the background?"

Your best friend let out a grunt. "Again?"

"Do you want me to forgive you or not?" you said with a glare and it was plenty to shut him off and make him join Jisung at the task.

Things were advancing well with the campaign. You had much more positive feedback, even if many still believed you had tried to poison your clientele. Nonetheless, people were loving seeing you and Chan interact in such ways that they would have never thought of seeing ever. Still, he remained very unpleasant towards you, but you weren't any better so it was a fair game.

"Hair and makeup done!" Felix cheered as he walked in the studio, his GoPro pointed towards himself. "Y/N has chosen beautiful colours as you can see," he showed his eye makeup. "And, of course, Chan's new cream was used for my skin."

"Do you ever stop filming?" Jisung rolled his eyes.

"And we have our beloved Jisung who seem to be pretty grumpy this afternoon."

They continued to bicker in the background which made you chuckle as you moved on with sorting products out. You peeked at your checklist to make sure you had everything you needed and began to check the items. It wasn't long after that Chan leaned next to you on the table. With his rolled up sleeves of his black buttoned shirt, he perked an eyebrow as he watched you intensely. You did your best to ignore him but the man was not budging.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" you said between your teeth.

"Busy doing something totally unnecessary. Might I say, Y/N, I am disappointed," he said in a cheeky way.

"I prefer double-checking and being organized, is that so wrong?"

He shrugged. "I just think you're wasting time. Besides, the guys have the makeup on already. What's the point in checking?"

"In case we forgot, we can still put it– Why am I even bothering to explain this to you?" you groaned, dropping the list on the table and walking off.

This might have been the tenth encounter of this sort that you'd had with him today and knowing he was still going to be around until late at night, this was not encouraging in any way. Perhaps backing out and staying at home was a better option.

But having Wonhee as a sister meant she had to force you to come along, especially since you were the one to invite her technically. After you had went back home, washed up and changed, you were walking to the club with your arms linked. Jeongin was the one to change the destination, arguing that it would be more fun than a regular restaurant with alcohol on the side.

"So how many are we going to be exactly?" Wonhee questioned you as you were getting closer to your destination.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you counted in your mind. "Let's see... Well, Bin and Minho obviously so them plus us is four. Jeongin, that makes us five. Chan and his staff, so that's now eight... And with Hyunjin and Felix, that makes us ten," you smiled.

Your sister, however, looked at you doubtfully. "Chan's staff... Does it mean..?"

You chuckled. "Yes, Seungmin will be there."

She stopped on her tracks right away. "You didn't think of telling me that?"

"When I said everyone would be there, I thought it obviously implied Seungmin."

"Y/N, I can't meet him like this!" she shouted while looking down at her outfit.

"You look fine," you rolled your eyes.

Forcefully, you dragged her all the way to the club as she babbled about how ugly she looked — though she was very much adequately dressed for the occasion. As you walked in, it didn't take long for you to spot the tall Hyunjin who was chatting with the one you dreaded to see once again. Chan had, for once, decided to let go of his usual dark attires and wore a tight white shirt with oversized pants. His hair was slicked back and he adorned his ears with silver jewellery. You couldn't deny he looked fine as hell, especially with the lighting that emphasized the veins on his arms. The way he was leaning on the table and taking a few sips of his drink was insanely attractive.

"You're staring," Wonhee commented and you glared at her.

"I spotted Hyunjin, that's all."

She definitely did not believe you and was about to make another remark until her eyes fell upon Seungmin. Instantly, she froze on the spot with a gulp.

"Who's staring now?" you laughed and it was her turn to glare.

"And the Ko sisters have arrived!" Jeongin exclaimed as he came to join you along with Minho, engulfing you two into his embrace. "I managed to reserve a table for everyone."

He led you to where you had previously stared at and didn't let you say a thing before sitting you down next to Chan. You were about to get up and yell at your friend but a hand grabbed your wrist to pull you back down. Again, you were seated and Chan's grasp moved from your wrist to your shoulder.

"What-"

He put a finger on your mouth, shushing you. "There are people around, we're a couple right now."

As you scanned the club, you saw how some people had stopped to greet Hyunjin and Jeongin while others took pictures. Right, you were surrounded with well-known models. You hesitantly snuggled into his embrace before he placed a small peck on the top of your head. It took everything in you to not puke right there and then.

"Get a room," Felix joked as he sat on your other side. "Since when do you kiss her?"

Chan sighed. "It wasn't a kiss. Don't you have more important things to do instead of judging me?"

"I do, you're right. So? Who's paying tonight? I need to get myself something to drink."

Seungmin joined in and took his credit card out. "I don't mind paying this time."

This caused Wonhee's eyes to glow and she rushed to the man. "Seungminnie, could I get something too?"

"Of course," he said with a smirk.

You noticed Minho — who had watched the interaction with much displeasure — rolling his eyes with one hand in his pocket and the other holding his newly bought cocktail. Poor guy.

"Could you please order my drink as well, Felix?" you asked the man as he snatched Seungmin's card out of his hand.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

To this, Chan's eyes darkened at his friend. Before you could give your answer, he spoke for you. "I'll pay for her drink, you may go."

Felix gulped, getting slightly scared of his friend, but nodded before walking to the bar. You scoffed at your fake-lover and removed his arm that laid on your shoulder.

"You really are a pain in the ass," you grunted.

"I should be the one paying for you, don't you think?"

"I can pay for myself."

He scoffed. "You say that now but asked for Felix to get you something with Seungmin's card. You had no issue with that."

"It's Seungmin, not you."

With that, you stood up and headed towards where Minho was as he was the furthest away from the man you despised so much. As he saw you approaching with fuming ears, his eyes widened.

"Woah, don't be mad at me, I did nothing," he hurried to say with his hands up.

"Where's Changbin?"

"No idea, he disappeared when we arrived."

You groaned out of frustration. "Great, it's always when I need him that he disappears."

Minho faked being hurt. "Am I not a good enough? You really prefer Changbin over me?" he cried.

You deadpanned at him. "Shut up, I'm pissed and he's the only one who can calm down. Besides, you're pissed as well, you wouldn't be much help."

"I'm not pissed," he muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, right. Don't tell me seeing my sister all over Seungmin doesn't fill you with anger."

That shut him up real quick and he pouted while sipping on his alcohol. From afar, the two of you looked miserable. You watched people on the dancefloor with a bored stare. It took only a few minutes for Chan to find you again and you couldn’t help but groan again.

“I’m going to find Changbin.”

Minho nodded at your statement as to say “good luck” and you took off. It was hard to walk through the sweaty crowd but, eventually found your best friend discussing with a woman who had definitely drank more than she could handle. He was quick to meet eyes with you and abandon the lady upon seeing how displeased you looked.

“What did I miss?” he asked while you stole his beer, drinking it in one go. “Woah, take it easy!”

“I won’t when this bastard is up in my ass.”

He sighed. “You can’t be saying this here.”

“Why? Because we are in public? Weren’t you the first one to disagree with this?”

“I was but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about how a small thing can ruin you again.”

You scoffed. “I’m only speaking the truth. Now, where can I get a shot?”

Changbin didn’t want to comply to your demands as he knew you would get yourself so drunk to the point you wouldn’t be able to stand. At the same time, you were so stubborn that it was impossible to get in your way sometimes. Felling guilty already, he brought you to the nearest bar and ordered four shots for the two of you. You chugged them not even a second after getting a hold of them. Wincing at the strong liquor, you still ordered one more, and one more after.

“How many has she had?” Jeongin asked in a concerned voice, watching you dance clumsily with Changbin.

“Who?” Chan said as he hadn’t really been observing what was going on.

“Your girlfriend,” Wonhee laughed as she pulled her phone out to capture the moment in a video. “Oh, she’s so going to hate me for this.”

Chan’s head shot up from his nearly empty glass to try and find you. When he did, his eyes widened at the sight. With your rosy cheeks, you were smiling admirably to your best friend who was trying his best to keep you up on your feet. He was glad you were not alone but the way you were holding to one another didn’t look as if you were only friends. It bothered him. Only because of your arrangement, of course. Before he was thinking, his body got up from his seat and he walked towards you. Without saying a thing, he separated you from Changbin and took over with holding you. You were probably too drunk to even process the change of dance partner, but Changbin only removed himself silently. He wouldn’t bother with protesting anyway; Chan’s eyes were enough to make him want to pee himself right there and then.

“How many did you drink?” he said into your ear, and you shivered.

“I don’t know.”

“I think you had too much.”

You pouted at him. “It’s your fault.”

“Mine? You were the one storming off.”

“Because you were annoying,” you cried, which made him sigh.

He dragged you all the way back to the table where the others were drinking reasonably. He sat you next to your sister, but she wasn’t much of a help. If anything, she was only laughing at your physical state and taking pictures. Sighing again, he took it upon himself to get you water to sober up. You already seemed to be a little better.

“They’re selling cakes with sparklers if it’s your birthday!” Felix said enthusiastically while pointing at the corner of the club. “We should get some.”

At this, you pushed the glass of water away from you and clapped. “Oh, for sure!”

Chan mentally cursed at himself before glaring at Felix. “Do you really want to fake a birthday only to get some cheap sparklers?”

You slapped his chest and his eyes widened from the contact. “They’re pretty.”

“So am I and you have me for free.”

Felix and Seungmin held back a laugh while you simply shrugged. “I’m getting some whether you like it or not.”

Before he could stop you, you were off with Felix, Seungmin and Wonhee to get sparklers. Who the fuck were selling these things in a club anyway? It was bound to be a disaster. He wondered if he should at least follow to keep an eye on you but the decision was quickly made when he saw you stumble on your feet, almost falling.

You felt a pair of arms holding you and you frowned. "Why do you have to act like I can't do things on my own?" you whined.

"Y/N, you almost fell face first."

Grumbling disapprovals, you still grabbed onto him for safety until you were at the cake counter. Felix was the one to discuss with the girl in charge of the cakes and they argued a bit as she noticed it was none of you's birthday. As they keot on bickering, Chan rolled his eyes as he knew he had to step in.

"Excuse me?" he cleared his throat grabbing the woman's attention.

The moment she saw he had just spoken, her posture straightened. "Mr. Bang," she almost whispered. "What an honour to have you here!"

"I understand my friends do not fit into your criterias for the cakes but I swear they only really want to play with the sparklers."

"I'm sorry, sir, but sparklers in a club-"

"I'll take them outside for when we lit them up, I promise."

By magic, this did the trick and the woman gave you about thirty of them. Seungmin went to get the others and you all went outside to lit them up. You, Felix and Jeongin were the most excited about them while Chan and Changbin were the most worried. Nonetheless, you took Minho's lighter from him as soon as he took it out of his pocket and hurried yourself to lit your sparklers up.

You admired them for what seemed to be an eternity until you ran out of them. Hyunjin declared this was enough for the night as he still had work to do the following day. The rest ended up agreeing and you all walked home.

"I'll take her," Chan said to Changbin who was not willing to let you go.

"I'm the assigned person to take her home."

"It'll be weird if a man other than her lover does it."

Changbin, for once, didn't budge. "Listen, Bang. I get you two have this thing for publicity but she is in a vulnerable state right now. While I do get your point, you're not the one who has known her for eight years and been there when she needed someone the most. Don't think because you are supposedly her boyfriend that you get to take this from us."

And he left with you.

This might have come from a deeper place than simply getting you home but Changbin had had enough. He couldn't risk you getting hurt by this man. Especially not when he had noticed how you were warming up to him.

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Copyright © 2024 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[onlygarden]

[ BABY, CAN I TAKE IT BACK? ] - IWAIZUMI HAJIME

genre: angst/ comfort at the end

description: in an unexpected situation, iwaizumi betrays your trust in a nearly irreparable way

for as long as iwaizumi had been your boyfriend, he was always consistent in expressing how utterly enamored he was by you. from the moment you graciously leaped into his life, he could not imagine a world where he couldn’t constantly admire your every gesture. iwaizumi rarely found himself angry with you; anytime he did express his anger, it could hardly be described as such. the most anger he ever allowed himself to bestow onto you was a slightly elevated voice, or a tiny hint of irritation in his tone. even those trivial actions pierced him with guilt and regret, which led to a plethora of unnecessary apologies and promises to make it up to you. you never felt entitled to these sorts of actions from iwaizumi (especially for such forgettable disputes), but no matter how much you explained to him that it wasn’t a big deal, he would not be able to live with himself if he didn’t apologize to his beloved girlfriend. you were indescribably precious to him, and he truly wanted to treat you as the gem he saw you to be. 

you sat closely beside him on the couch, enjoying the rare moment of idle time together. you were both quite busy people, constantly being pulled in new directions and constantly facing new tasks. you sometimes visited iwaizumi at the gym during his work hours when time permitted you to. although you both enjoy the times when you run errands or complete household duties together, nothing could replace the moments of shared tranquility. your legs were comfortably draped over his muscular thighs, and your arms held gently onto his bicep as your head rested upon his shoulder. iwaizumi sat with his phone in his right hand, as he softly caressed your legs with his left. 

your eyes stray from the television to his phone, taking slight notice of your name being mentioned in the messages between him and oikawa. you look up at your boyfriend’s face as he types, and you take notice of the slight chuckle he lets out at oikawa’s responses. as curiosity strikes you, your eyes wander back towards his phone screen, and you begin to read the content of each message. 

the more you read, the faster your heart beats. you realize that iwaizumi and his best friend were discussing their relationships with each other, which you normally thought nothing of. however, the information that iwaizumi decided to share about you was the shocking part. he casually shared your insecurities and other personal information with oikawa (some of the info being sexual), which caused a pit to form in your stomach. you never questioned your trust in iwazumi, but now you were astounded by how carelessly he babbled about the things you gradually mustered the courage to share with him. 

was this even his first time doing this, considering his natural demeanor? does he genuinely think this is something you would be comfortable with?  

in a fit of humiliation and hurt, you frown and let go of your boyfriend’s arm. “iwaizumi,” you start, slicing through the comfortable silence in the room, “why the fuck would you tell oikawa things like that?” you ask with a loud voice, your face growing hot from your sudden display of irritation. he locks his phone and turns his head towards you, a bewildered look contorting his features. he almost seems confused as to why you would be upset at such a thing, which angers you even more. “what’s the problem? he’s my best friend, we talk like this all the time,” he states defensively. he definitely thinks you’re comfortable with it, but you’re mortified. you exhale loudly as you look away from him before returning your gaze to his. “that’s not the point, iwaizumi. i don’t care if you guys know everything about each other, it’s still not your place to casually share personal information about me.” the tenacity in your tone grew as annoyance violently coursed through your body. removing your legs from his lap, you shook your head and faced away from him. iwaizumi felt his patience growing thin with the way you spoke to him, and with your harsh attitude towards him. he straightened his posture and looked directly at you as he spoke, despite your stubborn decision to glare at the wall. “why does it bother you so much, (y/n)? it’s not like oikawa would tell anyone else!” he shouts, growing frustrated with your exaggeration of the situation, “my fucking god, stop overreacting. you always have to fucking act like this and ruin perfectly good moments” he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, and rubs his hand over his face in exasperation, failing to notice your shocked expression at his words. you’re not particularly used to iwaizumi growing this angry with you. you cannot conceal how stunned you are at his brash confession that he thinks you’re overreacting. he knows how difficult it is for you to divulge your feelings, because he knows how afraid you are of being shrugged off or taken lightly. in spite of his familiarity with your doubts, he proudly unveiled his lack of respect for your boundaries. why can’t he just admit that he crossed a line? if he didn’t actually care, why would he ever deceive you with enchanting words? 

you quickly get up from the couch and move to stand in front of him. he looks up at you with his hands clasped together in front of his face, irritation building up behind his eyes. “are you fucking serious?” you utter passionately. “i’m overreacting because i’m mad at my boyfriend for betraying my trust? i’m not comfortable with other people knowing those things iwaizumi! how is that so fucking hard to understand?” iwaizumi swiftly stands up with aggression, now towering over you as he attempted to suppress his anger. “watch yourself, (y/n). i’m getting real fucking tired of you talking to me like that,” he snapped, the anger seeping through his hushed tone. despite his words, you continued to make your point fervently. you couldn’t believe that he was being so dismissive when you only wished to explain why you felt so hurt. “really?” you looked up at him, stunned. as you begin speaking again, the volume in your voice elevates. “you don’t even understand why i’m upset! i trusted you enough to tell you everything about me, and you completely ignored my boundaries!  if i wanted oikawa to know, then i would’ve told him. and i don’t give a fuck if he won’t tell anyone, it’s fucked up to just share those things behind my back!” you stare at him, your chest heaving. as your peel your gaze from his and begin to walk away, you mutter, “fucking asshole.”

the moment you tossed the insult at iwaizumi, the air surrounding you seemed to grow tense. any background noise filling the room dwindled into a suffocating silence. immediately after the words left your mouth, iwaizumi forcefully grabbed the top of your arm and whipped you around to face him. “what did you just call me?” his face was contorted into a ferocious expression, and the height of his tone startled you. “let go of me iwaizumi,” you said in an effort to be stern, but your fear and desperation creeped through. when you attempted to shake your arm from his brutal grasp, he simply tightened his hold on you. with your panic growing rapidly, you quickly look up at iwaizumi, distress painted across your expression. he had never treated you like this before, and his sheer rage frightened you. “you’re so goddamn annoying, (y/n)!” he was shouting so loudly that his voice echoed throughout your shared home. “be upset if you want, cause i don’t give a damn. you always blow shit out of proportion and i’m so fucking sick of apologizing to you and acting like i did something wrong just to make you fucking happy.” 

as the last syllable escaped from his mouth, he roughly released your arm, and briskly trudged past your unmoving figure. moments before he reached the staircase, his hand made sudden contact with the wall in a loud slam. the unexpected sound racked your body and caused you to flinch. as he travels up the stairs, his mutters of “fucking bitch” and “so fucking annoying” reach your ears. the house shakes slightly after he forcefully slams the door. you remain in the same position, your mind enveloped in a misty daze. once you finally move to cautiously sit on the couch, tears begin to slide mockingly down your face. 

you couldn’t seem to make any sense of the events that just unfolded. your ever-so-doting boyfriend who never ceased in his proclamations of adoration towards you just sliced through every bit of trust you had for him.

“i’m so fucking sick of apologizing to you and acting like i did something wrong just to make you fucking happy!”

with such bold conviction, he admitted to you that every bit of remorse and gentleness he ever expressed to you after an argument was a mere facade. his devotion to you, and his patience when it came to understanding each of your emotions was ingenuine. you poured every bit of yourself into the relationship, and you left no part of yourself uncovered with iwaizumi. he knew absolutely everything. he knew how you would instinctively draw back from him and hide your emotions if he made a mockery of your concerns. he knew your trust in him would be shattered to useless remains. that’s why he always took great care to assure you that anything you brought up to him was precious. he didn’t want you to hide any part of yourself from him, and he wanted you to trust him entirely. he loved everything about you. after three years of being with iwaizumi, you wouldn’t have ever questioned your ability to trust him. now, you almost regret revealing the deepest parts of your mind to him. he understands you more than anyone else, but he still mercilessly betrayed you. it took him so much time to earn enough of your trust to be allowed past your barriers of apprehension, yet he still dismissed your feelings in the face of his efforts. now, your eagerness to confide in iwaizumi is blocked by doubt, and you face the harsh reality that his tenderness and warmth is forced. he lured you towards him with his endearing presence, just to snatch any bit of alleviation away from you. 

the television show you were watching earlier continues to play quietly. you stand up and walk into the bathroom, gathering water in your hands to quell the redness in your face. after patting your face dry, you recovered from your previous trance, and hunger rushed to your stomach avidly. you search the fridge and begin preparing your food at the stove, and you hear familiar footsteps descending down the stairs. iwaizumi stands cautiously outside the kitchen, and offers a remorseful “hey, baby,” watching as you plate the meal you made. you don’t even bother to look at him as you mutter a dull “what do you need?” 

as you stand in front of the counter, iwaizumi takes the opportunity to walk up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. allowing the feeling of regret to consume him, he rests his head on your shoulder, and exhales loudly. you close your eyes, and lightly grasp onto iwaizumi’s forearms, peeling them from your waist. “tell me what it is that you need, then please go away from me,” placing your hands back onto the counter, you turn your head to gaze up at iwaizumi behind you. he studies your vacant expression, not failing to notice the redness in your eyes and the slight swell in your face. hoping to find the usual love and fondness in your eyes, he sees no sign of either. instead he’s met with a stony gaze of resentment. as much as iwaizumi’s pitiful expression pains you, and as much as you want to let him pull you into a hug, you cannot forgive him so easily. the impact of his actions weighed heavier on you, anyway. 

you turn back around as you begin to feel the slight burn of tears in your eyes, but you blink them away just as quickly as they arose. iwaizumi closed his eyes and swallowed harshly, preparing himself to finally speak to you. “(y/n).. you don’t have any idea how sorry i am,” he begins, slightly uneasy. “you’re the most precious thing in the world to me, and there isn’t anything that matters more to me than making sure you’re always at ease around me.” you turn your body to face him, and the genuine worry and agony in his expression makes your stomach drop. “if you want me to be ‘at ease’ around you iwaizumi, then why did you tell me that you only pretend to care? why did you call me all those horrible things and tell me that i overreact too much?” you ask with a wavering voice, looking into his eyes. “i was stupid!” he pleads, the panic in his expression blooming further, “baby, i was so so stupid and selfish, i didn’t mean a single bit of it and i would sacrifice anything in this world to change it. please don’t ever shut me out,” he places his hands on the counter beside you, “i don’t know what i would do if i couldn’t have every bit of you, please don’t ever hide yourself from me. even if you think i don’t, i always care about every detail. you don’t ever need to doubt that.” his eyes were set ablaze with urgency and an aching desire for your forgiveness. you knew he was truly sorry, but the ability to fully trust him again wouldn’t come so quickly after the damage he inflicted. still, you knew you could at least forgive him. “iwa, you know it won’t be easy for me to trust you again after all the things you said..” you tell him honestly, sorrow in your expression. “please tell me what i can do to gain your trust back, my lovely baby,” he places his hands on either side of your face, his thumbs rubbing your face gently. “i should have never taken it so lightly, and i hate to see you so restrained..  i want to make it up to you.” 

you feel a sense of warmth spread through your chest, and you lean back a bit to face him. “all i want is to know that you’re sincere. i don’t want to be hesitant to open up to you.. please just promise me that you’ll be understanding when i mention things like this to you,” he nods, eager to soothe you by any means. “if you do something like this again, it’ll be even harder for me to trust you.” his hands glide down your arms and gently take your hands, “i promise that nothing like this will happen again.. i wanna know about anything that bothers you even a little, my pretty baby,” he wraps his arms around you in a fervent hug, and exhales in relief at your forgiveness. his heart calms even further when you wrap your arms around him in return. he pulls back to admire your beautiful expression, and leans down to place a wispy kiss on your lips as his fingers faintly travel across your waist. “i love you, (y/n),” he says sincerely, basking in the way your eyes swell with fondness for him.  “i love you too, iwa,” you smile at him, and his own expression brightens significantly at such an enrapturing sight.

[lamemaster]

Ways to Coax Your Beloved

Pairing: Glorfindel x Reader

Genre: Romance, fluff (i swear) , sprinkle of angst

Summary: What began as a minor disagreement now feels like an insurmountable chasm between you two. Never before had an argument lasted so long.

AN: written directly on Tumblr interface this is my mania. Enjoy!

"I've brought us some snacks," you carefully balance the tray on the balcony railing. "Cakes, tea, cookies, crackers, cream rolls – I've got everything." He remains facing away from you, his back tense and unyielding to your words.

"Glorfindel," you take a hesitant step closer, your hand hovering in the air. But before you can say more, he disappears once again. This has been the pattern for a week, the longest and most trying week of your life.

What began as a minor disagreement now feels like an insurmountable chasm between you two. Never before had an argument lasted so long. Your beloved simply did not care to hold on to grudges for long.

Sighing, you lifted the tray, contemplating an excuse that wouldn't draw the pitying gazes of the kitchen staff.

"How do you coax a sulking elf?" Erestor looks up from his book. You had never really conversed much with him before this. There was never a reason to. "Specifically a thousands of years old being whose been born twice and is quite a legend."

Much to your surprise, Erestor does not find your humor hilarious. Leave for slight amusement in his eyes there is little appreciation for your jest.

"I would rather you not discuss this with me," the stern looking elf replies as he simply turns back to his tomes. Yikes! Awkwardly swinging your arms you try to plan for a slightly less awkward exit. "Ah yes," picking up the closest book you plan for your emergency exit from the unforgiving company, "I would like to get this book."

With another scathing look directed your way, Erestor meticulously wrapped your borrowed book in a fancy-looking cloth. "Keep it away from any water, heat, or dirt. Any damage is unacceptable," he instructed curtly.

You solemnly nodded, understanding the gravity of his instructions. "Sounds good," you responded with a casual tone, but Erestor's raised eyebrow reminded you that casualness wasn't his forte.

As you turned to leave, you almost collided with the bookshelf, which seemed to have crept up on you. "Oof," you muttered, swaying your way out of the room.

Then, Erestor's voice halted your steps. "Try Asfaloth," he suggested.

With a wide grin, you turned around and threw a jolly salute to Erestor, who had already returned to his books as if nothing had changed.

Armed with Erestor's invaluable intel, you ventured to the stables. Before arriving there, you made sure to thoroughly search your quarters, Glorfindel's rooms, and other frequently visited areas of the dwelling. Finally, you descended to the stables, where your beloved's horse awaited.

"Asfaloth, my boy, how I've missed you!" Your heartfelt enthusiasm was met with an equally excited neigh from the elegant white stallion. Despite towering over you, Asfaloth possessed a temperament that invited nurturing from anyone.

Performing a playful dance with light stomps to celebrate your arrival was entirely unnecessary but undeniably enjoyable. Or perhaps it was the not-so-well-concealed carrots you held in your hands that fueled your jubilant display. "Have you seen him?" you posed a question to the horse, though you knew full well that, despite elven claims, horses did not possess the gift of speech.

Approaching the gentle giant that was Asfaloth, you deftly ensured that he didn't gobble the carrots too quickly. "Patience," you murmured, adjusting the treats to prevent any mishaps. Abandoning the idea of petting the eager horse, you directed all your focus toward preventing a choking incident. You were acutely aware that Glorfindel would never forgive you if Asfaloth were to asphyxiate on your offerings.

"Where is he, Asfaloth?" Your fingers continued to caress the munching horse as you briefly entertained the idea that, just maybe, the elves were right, and Asfaloth understood you.

No fancy braiding or delicate floral decorations adorned his mane this time. "Why is he avoiding you? What have you done?" you pondered aloud, earning a pitiful whine from your equine companion. "I know, incredibly rude, I must say," you commented, deciding against attempting to braid Asfaloth's mane for the sake of both the world's sanity and your own. Instead, you settled on a comfortable pile of hay, hoping you weren't sitting on Asfaloth's dinner from the previous night.

"I brought him flowers, snacks, I even endured the drudgery of laundry, and I despise laundry. I got him books, a random flute, baked him a cake, and even learned a new card trick. But not a single reaction!" You confided in Asfaloth, desperately hoping for some form of understanding and equally enthusiastic compassion. To your relief, Asfaloth seemed to offer a sympathetic snort at just the right moment.

"You wouldn't believe it, but I even dared to venture into Erestor's little cave for intel. I'm at my wit's end, my friend," you sighed, realizing that the hay pile was indeed quite comfortable.

"I mean, I could try going to the nearest town for something, but I doubt I'd find anything better than these snobbish elves. Besides, those townsfolk charge outrageous prices," you continued, and Asfaloth leaned in, sniffing your satchel in hopes of more treats. Allowing the horse to continue his investigation, you didn't stop him. "I might dip into some of those savings. Perhaps Glorfindel would appreciate some rustic tools, eh?" Tired of Asfaloth's curiosity, you playfully tossed your empty satchel into the corner, which, for some inexplicable reason, Asfaloth chased like an adorable hound.

Tucked away in Asfaloth's cozy abode, you couldn't recall when your consciousness had faded into that blissful six-hour nap – the kind you cherished above all others. In the realm of bizarre dreams, you found yourself pinned to a pile of hay, unable to relinquish the unconventional comfort. Maybe Erestor had been onto something when he recommended Asfaloth.

However, your tranquil slumber was abruptly shattered as a metaphorical tsunami wreaked havoc on your sleeping form. Gasping, you struggled to make sense of the blurry world that seemed to whirl too rapidly for your groggy vision to follow.

"Y/n, oh Eru, you're awake!" A voice echoed through your sleep-addled and hazy thoughts.

Grasping the strong arms that held you close, you attempted to piece together the disaster that had overtaken you. "Wha-" your words faltered as you laid eyes on the tearful and sniffling elf standing before you. It was your first time witnessing such an emotional display, and you couldn't quite believe that elves were capable of producing snot.

Shaking off your mental fog, you slowly realized the peculiar predicament you were in. You were seated on a pile of hay, within the stable, beneath Asfaloth's unflinching gaze, and enfolded tightly in the embrace of the Balrog-slayer himself.

"I-I thought you left. You left like you said," Glorfindel stammered, your hands gently cupped your hiccupping beloved's face as his words tumbled out faster than you could process. "I couldn't find you… I had to… I rushed here, and then, you were… your eyes closed like that." Using your sleeves, you wiped away the relentless tears (and yes, even the snot) that streamed down his face as you sought a way to soothe Glorfindel's overwhelming emotions.

You couldn't help but internally curse yourself for your rambling that had led to this emotional upheaval. Days ago, beneath the relentless blanket of snow and impenetrable clouds, your thoughts had wandered without restraint.

"It happens, Glorfindel," you offered in an attempt to console him, "weariness of the world is unavoidable, even more so for Men. A slight change in weather can trigger it. After all, we are bound to some place beyond this." Your words seemed to offer little solace, evident from your beloved's reddening face.

"It is only natural to ponder death or the end. We Men are born with this burden, so it's not unnatural for such thoughts to sneak in. We call it 'existentialism.' But those ramblings mean nothing right now. I would not leave you, vanish into thin air, or transform into an insect just because the snow wouldn't relent." Your words carried a hint of playfulness, but there was undeniable truth in them. You would depart one day, for a fate separate from his. Before that day came, you both would endure the passage of time, a force that dared not mar the Balrog-slayer.

You harbored thoughts about evading him before he witnessed such a sight, but you knew you had some time left. A few years before you would spend eons waiting for another reunion.

But you chose not to speak of those deeper truths.

"But," you interjected, and Glorfindel perked up at the unexpected word. "I would tell everyone about this if you don't stop being an absolute grump." Just like that, the tension surrounding you both dissipated. "Imagine, 'Balrog Slayer, The Balrog Slayer,' in the stables – hmph!" Your words were cut off as Glorfindel playfully covered your face with his hand.

Even with reddened eyes and a rosy nose, your beloved looked every bit his old self. All traces of your angst and his sorrow dissipated into the slightly stinky breath of Asfaloth.

[starillusion13]

FRIENDS!? Chapter 7

🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳

Series ML

Pairing: poly!ateez × f!reader (An ATEEZ Office AU)

Genre: Mature, Angst, Yandere, SMUT

Warning: none (but mention of psychiatrist)

W.C: 3.3k

For my beloved: @oreharuuu

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

[Reblogs and Reviews are always appreciated. Thank you for reading and have a nice day ahead. Please always take care of yourself everyone.]

Hello, Can we be friends please?

Laughter filling the cabin and some employees out of curiosity are peeking a bit before passing through the place. Well, it seems that someone or you might can say some people are having fun after waking up this morning. And, honestly the environment seems to be a peaceful and fun to be around as it's all about the friends catching up with their childhood stories.

"Woah! I didn't expect you to be this funny. You appear to be too intimidating sometimes but you are a goofy person." You state between your laughter.

The said man laughs even louder and the other one standing beside him hit him at the back of the head with a file but eventually he starts laughing too.

"Well, you don't know a lot of things about him. When he used to hang out with you alone and after that he tends to forget his way back to the apartment and had to call one of us."

"Jongho, come on. Don't say such things like this way. Next time, Mingi won't hang out with us again. We were all teenagers back then and we might have done a lot of mistakes. Those mistakes are what remain as some good memories with us." You give a healing smile towards the both of them.

Jongho murmurs under his breath but you still heard it. Mingi heard it too so he casts a glance towards him.

'Not everything is a good memory.'

But why did he say that?

"Anyways I am always hanging out with Jongho these days and It's really nice that you tag along with us today. So, it's better for me." You said.

Mingi leans forward while sitting on the chair and watching you how you are arranging some papers, must be Hongjoong's. After your joining, that man calls you for every little work, some are really very unnecessary and you know all of these are just for him to spend some time with you. He just can't say it directly to you.

"Better for you what?" Mingi asks and Jongho nods to his question.

"Um yeah like, so tell me how did you guys meet me for the first time? Jongho just tells me about our funny childhood stories and about my school days but how did we become friends."

You look down to your tablet to mark some paper-works as done and you failed to notice how both of them exchanged glances between them. The silence from them makes you look up and you furrow your brows.

"Is there something wrong?"

Mingi awkwardly laughs at your question before speaking, "Haha. No nothing is wrong. We are just thinking if you want to go with us to this nearby cafe this weekend."

"Yeah sure! But hey...you didn't answer my question yet."

"It's nothing that important-"

You cut off Jongho's sentence, "Is it really nothing important? Or you are just trying to hide it from me because it might can reveal some hidden lies."

Jongho visibly gulps and Mingi stares between you both before clearing his throat.

You laugh to see their scared faces but deep down you are curious to why they reacted like that.

"Jongho, you can tell her how you met, its okay to tell her about that, I suppose." Mingi said each word with space in between as if he is tasting the words before saying it, so that something doesn't slip off his tongue.

Atleast for now.

The said person stared at Mingi for a while before he speaks up, "Ah yeah that...we were in the same school. We both are of same age."

"Really? Then why were we not in touch during the high-school and also why didn't Beomgyu told me anything about you. We would have been such great friends."

Mingi said silently, "I wonder too why he didn't tell you."

"Y/n...you studied at a different high-school not where we used to go together. I really didn't want you to change the school but I don't know what happened back then but you were totally gone. As if you disappeared." Jongho has a pain expression.

What?

"What are you even saying? I was not in that school before...but...but..." you can't even continue as you are having so many thoughts altogether.

Jongho has a frown on his face because of your sudden lost expression. Mingi signalled him to check on you and when the latter places his hand on your shoulder, you flinch to the effect. Blinking your eyes, you lick your lips before sending a small smile to their way and brush back your hairs.

"What happened Y/n?" Mingi asks in a low tone.

You just shake your head but still urge them to continue with what they were saying earlier.

Jongho clears his voice and continued, "So...we used to meet everyday at the school and we became friends. We used to hangout at the rooftop and no one dared to mess with you because I was your best-friend. We had...great times. After school, we used to wait by the side of the play-ground for Wooyoung."

A smile plastered on your face mimicking Jongho's gummy smile. You really had some great times which are some wonderful memories but somewhere in your mind a strange feeling is irking as if all these rainbows are hiding some dark secrets. So, the guy in your dreams at the rooftop was Jongho and you are glad that all those memories are related to them. Many things are getting clear and many new explanations are yet to be answered.

"That's not fair that we are of same age but you are a young and rich CEO and me here just an intern. Anyways, What about you Mingi?" They laugh before Mingi spoke up.

He is quick to reply you and it did surprise you a bit as he was the hesitant one a few moments before, "oh we. You met me when one day Jongho brought you to our hideout."

"Hideout?"

"Ah yeah...it was just a place where we used to hangout together...... and we shouldn't have." He whispered the last part.

He laughs at your confused face and continued, "I used to go to different school with Yunho, San and Wooyoung. I was your fourth friend. When we first met, you were so scared of me because you saw me fighting with a boy from my school but gradually everything became normal between us."

"Then who are my second and third friends?" you raise your brows.

Jongho raises his one hand, "I am the second."

"And third? Also, if Yunho was also there then how come we met?"

"That's for you to find out." Both of them said at the same time. "And about him, you should ask him on your own...He will be happy."

"I have so many things to find out already." You whispered under your breath, inaudible to them.

"I don't know actually what does he even want from me. I don't see him other than picking on me."

They laugh at your annoyed expression on hearing his name.

.

.

.

The conversation continued with next one hour of you three sharing the childhood stories. Mostly, them because you really don't have anything particular to share with them. You don't have any memories of the past that they are talking about because it feels like you have memories which feels like to be very different from them.

If you remember every part of your past which you knew back all these years then why all the things that they are telling you seems so far from reality.

This was your thought one week before. After the meeting with the boys at the hotel, last week every day you have sneaked out with some excuses. You have gone to a doctor to discuss about your weird dreams and memory loss. After searching online, you have found that Psychiatrist would be the best one to approach. So, you did and the things you heard was not expected.

Your memories.

Those dreams are your memories which have been erased temporarily. Maybe, those memories have some triggering or disturbing parts which were needed to be removed. She had prescribed you some medicines if you want to regain back them. You were afraid at first but eventually you have made up your mind to know what actually did happen to you.

Apart from all these, you have some questions to ask Beomgyu. Today again, you spent time with Jongho and Mingi, both have left you in your cabin earlier and now you are just walking around the floors to find if any of the CEOs needs you but no one is in sight so you are just trying to get to know some people in the office. Of course, you are not that social one but there is not harm in trying.

You dial Beomgyu's number before going back inside from the terrace.

"Hey, baby. How are you? Did any of them scare you again?"

"Yah shut up. Don't baby me. Why were you not picking up my calls past few days?" you complained and heard some shuffling sounds from the other side, maybe he was sleeping or playing games.

"I'm sorry...it was just that I was busy with my dad's business and stuff...but really how are you?" He asks you very slowly.

"I'm fine, Gyu. What about you? Are you tired? Don't take stress please. I'm worried for you as you are all alone now and I'm not there to comfort you."

He chuckles, "Hm...I will...but why do I have so many missed calls from you?"

"Because you didn't pick up my calls."

"Hey....But why did you call? Are you in trouble? Do I need to come over? Y/n come on tell me fast." You can hear the panic in his voice.

"no no its nothing like that. Calm down. Actually, I wanted to ask you something." You are just walking in slow steps and touching the plants decorated in a line to the side.

"About what?"

"Do you know about me before highschool? Like do you know anything?"

The other line is silent as if no one is on the other side but then you heard cough and sniffs.

"Gyu..."

"No. I don't know. Why?"

"You said I studied in the school since the beginning but earlier I found out that I actually went to a different high school, other than the one I studied before."

"Oh then I must have mistaken to understand that you were there for a long time but you told me you studied there. How come I would have known? I was just...a transfer student."

"But Gyu-"

"what are you doing here?"

As soon as the person behind you spoke up, you heard Beomgyu cuts the call but you are still pressing the phone to your ears. You are doing your best to ignore three persons after that meeting at the hotel but why is he here?

Like of course he can be anywhere but why now? You gulp and thinking how to excuse yourself to run away but he is already behind you.

His soft hands take a hold of your shoulders and turns you around. You are avoiding his gaze but he grips your chin to make you look at him. Your scared eyes locked with his brown orbs. You thought to find the scary eyes looking back at you but these are nowhere like that. These eyes look hurt. They are soft and tired.

"Yunho..."

"You shouldn't be here all alone when you are scared of heights."

His words are dipped in worry and you are wondering why he is talking with you like that after you have ignored him for one week. Yes Yunho is one of those three you are ignoring and the rest two are San and Hongjoong.

Well of course, these three are very mysterious because first of all their actions are always opposite to their words and then you really don't sometimes understand what they are trying to say. As if they are saying something to you with keeping some words to themselves.

"It's okay. I was just talking to someone." You look down to your phone.

"To Beomgyu."And here he goes again. Even if he is correct this time but he always have to annoy you with your friend’s name . "And this distraction would have caused something worse."

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. You again look up to him, "are you...worried?"

"Of course not."

"Okay. So do you need something?" You cast a glance to his hands still placed over your shoulder.

"Seonghwa was searching for you."

"WHAT?"

His eyes went wide with worry but quickly he regains his composure and fiddles with the sleeves of his shirt. Why are you missing the touch?

He scoffs, "why what happened?"

"No-nothing."

"Where is he?" You tug your hairs behind the ear and looked at the time.

"In his cabin, downstair one."

You nod softly and excused yourself. But before you could step away from him, he holds your wrist to pull you towards him. You stumble a bit and feel annoyed.

"If...if someone close to you did something wrong in the past and then they have changed and want to be good to you. Will you forgive them?"

He asked you in a broken and hurt voice as if he is holding back his tears and trying to look cool.

This is the first time in so many months, you have seen him in such a soft way. You are scared of him and the way he showed so much affection last time in that meeting makes you to avoid him but somewhere you feel like there is something more. Something very important that you are missing out.

Is he a very important person in your life?

You look down to the grip and back to his eyes. His eyes flicker between your soft orbs and lips.

"If they can prove me that they have changed then I will try to accept it but I still would want to know that what was the reason they hurt me in the first place because as far as I know I haven't done wrong to anyone."

He waits in silence and loosens his hold and you walk away from him. You don’t know why he asked you such a thing but he was sad and it was very much visible. He stares at your retreating figure and once you are out of sight. A tear slides down his eyes which reflects the light of the setting sun.

"I was worried for you." He watched the sun slowly hiding behind the buildings just like the way he is hiding from the things that once already happened and no matter how much he tries those can't be erased ever.

"Not all memories are sweet to remember."

"But we can change the future even if the past is not in our hands."

Yunho looked back on hearing the voice to find Hongjoong in an all denim outfit walking towards him.

"Why are you everywhere?"

Both of them chuckle and the older one stands near the railing, leaning to watch the same scene as him.

" I have to be because I have started all these and I have to keep a watch that nothing goes wrong.Again."

"Again." Yunho sadly chuckles and ruffles his hair. "Do you think we are good people?"

"Of course not. But we can be. Atleast for her." Hongjoong casts a glance towards the younger, "I don't want to lose her again."

"I hope so."

.

.

.

You are mumbling so many things in your way towards Seonghwa's cabin. You are cursing and swearing under your breath that the first you had to meet Yunho whom you thought to avoid longer but unfortunately still you had to face him but it was okay somehow and now Seonghwa, who is not in your list to avoid but you have a very weird thought about him.

The kiss.

No you don’t want to kiss him. It’s just that Wooyoung told you that you have had two kisses with two people before him and he told you to find it on your own. But who are the ones? Who are these two? All the seven are in suspicion list but in the top is Seonghwa, Yeosang, maybe Hongjoong or Yunho. Definitely not San.

You bump into someone when you are lost in your thoughts.

“I’m so sorry….Star?”

“Hey…that’s fine…I was wondering where were you as usually I find you in your cabin but it was empty and what were you thinking?”

Her sweet smile makes all your worries away and you pinch her cheeks. The smile on both of your faces widens.

“Why are you so happy today?” She asks you, wiggling her brows.

“I was not happy earlier, maybe I was but I think many things are getting clear and soon I will get back my old friends.” You cheer.

“Are you sure?”

“Huh?”

“I mean are you sure they are telling you everything honestly and they are not hiding something.” Star asks you in whisper so that no one knows what you guys are talking about. She pulls you to the side. “You are smart but sometimes very naive when it comes to your friends. You trust your friends a lot. Don’t get close to strangers.”

“You are also a stranger.”

“I-“

“Miss Y/n, I think you came to this floor for my cabin and not to gossip with your friend.” To both of your side, in a distance there standing Seonghwa in all black tshirt and pant, leaning against the glass doorframe and glaring at Star.

She hasn’t notice the glare but looking down at her phone typing out something and with a smile she glances back at you and Seonghwa and excuses herself.

Waving at her, you turn towards him to follow to his cabin.

He needs some help in the paperwork’s for the upcoming event and you know your whole evening is going to be a stressed one.

Taking a seat across from him at the huge round table, you keep staring at him when he is busy arranging some documents. You lick your lips and fiddle with your fingers.

“Is it interesting to stare at me?”

His sudden voice breaks your trance and blinking your eyes you look away.

“No.”

“Look at me.” He commands.

You turn your head but your gaze fall on his lips. Have you kissed them? Please, he is not the one. You are not wishing it to be others but you are hoping that you have kissed no one and Wooyoung is just lying.

He follows your gaze and the corner of his lips tug up.

“Do you want me to kiss you again?”

Your wide eyes stare back at him and his smirk widens.

Again?

He had your first kiss or the second one?

.

.

.

“She went to the doctor last week.”

The one on the other line hummed in reply.

“And you are still chill about it?” The person said in annoyance.

“So what should I do? She is alive and it’s obvious that eventually all those things will be remembered by her. Soon or later it has to be revealed.”

“You know she is going to remember everything one by one and it’s really not good. She will freak out and might can do anything.”

“It’s okay she won’t be doing anything because the people whom she is trusting the most are the evils.”

“And you think we are evils. Are we not good?”

“You are asking this again. Of course we are not. Anyways, am going to hang up. I want to sleep.”

Cutting the call. The person stared at the screen and thought about the earlier conversation that how the other one was very chill with the whole situation.

“It would have been better if you had died that day, Y/n.”

NEXT

Taglist :

@mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @brrrkdslek-main @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @luhwaine @ilove-taeyong @dinonuguaegi @endeav0rsb1tch @loveforred @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @sousydive @aliona124754 @tunaasan

(open! dm me/ send ask/reply here)

[nothomegal]

Masterlist for my writings!

And whatever little drabble.

I mainly write random ideas my brain got fixated on, all of them about slashers.

Feel free to send asks about whatever you want! A request to write/doodle something? A question? Scream into the void? Feel free to do so!

Though allow me to make a small parenthesis about the asks: you can pretty much send me whatever as long as it's not something super messed up or a request to draw your oc.

And also, English is NOT my first language so apologies for the mistakes.

I usually don’t write angst and most of my stories are fluff. Maybe ones every blue moon I will write a smut but very rarely- Look my life is sad and I just want a big monster man to tenderly hold me and make me feel loved, okay?! >:”(

Little side note about the colors: multy-part fics, oneshorts, headcanons, related to an ask.

The coming soon thing means that whatever story is already being written as a draft!

Okay, so here is the stuff! :]

PS: I also write on Wattpad, if you are interested in checking out my long fics you can find me right here!

Michael Myers

"The little owl family"

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) coming soon

"All bark and bite, but never at you" coming soon

"Unnecessary urgency" coming soon

"RZ Michael Myers and a s/o that likes sweets too."

Jason Voorhees

"Sharks or dolphins?"

"We are all like cookies" coming soon

Thomas Hewitt

"Crush my heart" coming soon

Ghostface (Danny Johnson)

"Do it for me, darling" coming soon

"Cuddle date"

"Favorite person"

Pyramid Head

"The beast and it's treasure"

“Flashing warnings”

"Safe and sound"

🔞"Nothing, just (Y/N)" 🔞

"My beloved monster"

"Little flower"

"Mistletoe"

"Innocent lamb"

A super secret fic, DON'T open!!1!

[yaut-jaknowit]

BRO I LOVED THE SIZE KINK YOU WROTE BASED OFF OF MY POST😩🙏🙏 literally been constantly reading it i’m so obsessed. I literally have so many mlm ideas from angst to nsfw so I can spam your inbox if you want (or dm’s if you wanna be moots)💀✋

BUT LIKE- imagine male reader soldier x male yautja where the reader had been off radar for a few months with their mate worrying only for the reader to return with new scars and a mechanical arm because he lost his real one during war😩

And then on god the yautja would be pissed asf because he was worried the reader was dead 😭✋

Return to Him

Pairing: Mai'tuiudh (Male Yautja) x Male Reader

Word Count: 2063

Summary: Four months isn't a long time to be away from home. Yet, everything that has occured during that time made it seem like years. Years since you last saw Mai, your beloved. You wished to see him, to ensure to him you were alright. Just a bit beaten up and newly scarred. This Yautja isn't liking the unfamiliar feeling of worry. That doesn't stop him from feeling that way. Nothing would.

Author Note: This one made me think a bit. I'm not used to these kinds of requests or prompts, not complaining though! Loving the prompts! Also, to those who requested something. It's going to take a little bit to get to those. Christmas time is very busy. I have three families to visit and my brother came into town after moving away four months ago.

I'm so glad you enjoyed that! I was a little worried since it was out of my knowledge. You can do whatever you want. I don't mind being mutuals. I will let you know that I'm bad a responding though, lol. I'm up to anything you want within reason, of course! Throw them at me.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Masterlist

Ao3

A ding behind him made the Yautja whip around in his chair to find a disappointing screen. Mai snarled lowly to himself and banged a fist against the armrest. He had set up a diagnostic to search through your government’s database for anything on you. It came up empty handed, nothing new about your location.

He felt his spine bristle at the thought. Where were you? A few buttons were harshly pressed on his dashboard. The ship you sometimes called home hummed louder before changing directions. Mai abruptly stood up and marched out of the room.

If your government doesn’t know where you were then, he was going to search for you personally. Earth may be large, though not as massive as Yautja Prime, that wouldn’t stop him. This Yautja wasn’t going to coward away at a challenge. It was in his blood to hunt. That’s what made him, well, him. He was a fighter and would never think about backing down from a challenge.

Though, it would take time to reach earth without eating up his low fuel reserves. To hide away from detection from your government’s space program, he flew into Neptune’s gravitational pull. His ship was pulled in and forced to orbit. Mai had to play smart, be a hunter without distraction. That’s the only way he would be able to find you without getting caught. That would ruin the double life you live. One Mai’tuiudh will never understand. The Yautja shook his head, tresses swaying as he passed through the short hall to the sparing room.

To pass the time, Mai’s going to work off some pent-up steam. Your time away from the brute has caused some unnecessary stress on his weary bones. He needed to relieve himself of it.

His muscles rippled, fist meeting reenforced leather. Mai’s mandibles pulled close. A hunter’s focus craved into his face. Eyes keen and moves precise. The hit was probably harsher than it needed to be against an unalive object. Yet, Mai’tuiudh didn’t care. If that’s what helped relieve the stress within his bones. Then, that’s what needed to be done. He needs to a take stop at his mother ship anyhow for supplies and whatnot. Check in so no one thinks he’s dead.

That would mean he’ll have to leave for about two weeks. Space travel wasn’t always the quickest, especially with low reserves. Plus, Mai will be forced to make rounds around the ship. He may not be an important figure; it was customary to check in hunting brothers and sisters. Find out who’s dead and who lives. Everything that make’s living as a Yautja, Yautja.

.

When your feet hit dry, dusty soil, you cringed. Dust from the vehicles stopping behind you blew over to you. It forced you to close your eyes and hope for its quick pass.

Once it had left, you carefully made your way to the back of the unsuspecting black SUV. The driver was swift to hop out, scrambling after you. “Sir! I can-can get th-hat for you,” the rookie stated and attempted to move past you. Your uninjured arm shot out and stopped him taking another step.

Without a single sound, you stepped up to the tailgate and simply opened it. The rookie shifted his weight frequently and arms straight at his side. His eyes were on you though, flickering all over the place on the view before him.

On the other hand, you slung the mildly heavy bag on your shoulder. It pulled at the muscles on your other… arm. Your face scrunched up at the sudden pain but not a noise made it past your lips. Years of training and all make a fine soldier. You just got to beat the human out of him.

The rookie stood there, eyes watching as your tired, used body limbed past him. One of his arms hesitantly reached to grasp at you but one side stepped easily dodged the rookie. He just stared at your leaving form, gaze dipping down at the unmatched color on your right hand. Then they were locked onto the back of your camouflaged jacket molded to your shape.

Your apartment’s door slammed heavy behind you, the noise causing you no disturbance. Even the headache swallowing you barely increased at the sound. Instead, you let your bag slide off of your shoulder and on the ground. It made a soft noise, the only one in your quiet apartment.

It hadn’t been that long since you’ve last stepped foot in here. Not longer than four months. Yet, with all that has occurred within that time frame, it felt like years.

One thing after another happened out there, facing the enemies your country makes you fight. The demons. All for what? Losing amazing people or causing unnecessary trauma and bodily harm on the soldiers that defend this nation. You sighed, shoulders sagging before shuffling into your room and flicked on the light.

Nothing had been moved. Light dust had settled on everything you owned. The room was still in the state as long before. Clothes thrown haphazardly on the floor; bed unmade; empty glass of water on your nightstand; one curtain open will the other was drawn to the halfway point.

Wait a minute. You rubbed at your eyes with an uninjured fist. The bed. It was in a different position than you last remember. What you remembered was the long body pillow was across the top of the bed, against the headboard. It had been moved to be parallel with the long part of the bed. At first, you were on verge of freaking out. Your brain taking a few extra seconds to realize what that could mean.

One: someone broke into his apartment, acted like a complete fool, and slept in your bed. Or two: Mai slept in your bed, to probably smell your scent. You did leave without much of an explanation. The base called and you were shipped off that same day. A single message of you being safe was all you could get out to him. Mai’s probably searching for you or waiting close by. It all depends on if he found out what you were doing and where you were.

With a heavy sigh, you stripped yourself down to just your underwear. A chilling breeze washed over your skin, causing you to shiver. You simple tipped over and landed face first on the bed. The sheets were cool to the touch. A deep breath brought a faint scent of Mai to your noise. Your body relaxed completely at the scent. Next, you were out like a light bulb.

Through deadened sleep, the slamming of your porch sliding glass door snapped you groggily away. Your head shook to rid away some of the tiredness still within your bones. The blankets that once covered you had been kicked off sometime during sleep. You were on the verge of getting to check what had made that noise. That something had different plans.

The door to your bedroom was forced open, crashing into the wall. It probably left a mark that you could worry about later. Military or not, you were exhausted and currently in pain. You just stared through the darkness at what had made that noise.

Heavy, familiar pants could be heard before you. It took a long moment for you brain to realize what that could mean. In the meantime, the blob form standing in your doorway launched at you.

Large, calloused hands wrapped around your wrist from what you could feel. The heavy frame pinned you on your back, arms pinned above your head. Heat rolled over you. The calming smell of him filled your lungs. Something warm and felt like fingertips grazed over the naked skin of your chest. You didn’t fight, not just because of the exhaustion. No, it was due to the fact you knew who it was.

As you longed to bring the Yautja into a kiss, your arms were trapped. That’s when you finally noticed the pain burning in your right shoulder. “Mai, let go please. You’re hurting me,” you demanded and started to wiggle underneath the fully armored male. An extra added fifty pounds from his armor and biomask.

The Yautja reeled back his mighty head, tresses slapping against his armored chest. Then, Mai quickly lifted his body weight off of you. The air around you tasted strange. Not in a bad way. It unnerved him nevertheless though. Mai tilted his head, biomask scanning over your frame.

Multiple new injures, most fully healed. Where had you gone?! Then, Mai caught sight of something that wasn’t normal, that wasn’t there before. His hand grasped at the metal attached to your right arm.

It was cool in hold. The gears inside pitched a high noise as they moved within. Mai brought his face close and took in its smell. The skin on upper, inner mouth crinkled at the horrible smell. Not that you could see though with his biomask.

Since he had released you, you brought a hand up to his face and shivered at cold metal. “Take it off,” you ordered of him. Mai listened without hesitancy. The tubes connected to his biomask hissed as they were disconnected. It was ripped from his alien face thrown off to the side on the bed.

Without another second apart, you wrapped both of your arms around him. All of your strength was used to keep him like that. Not that Mai’tuiudh was complaining. Not with you in his arms. Instead, he buried his mandibles in the crook of your neck and licked. Mai groaned at your missed taste. Your last message to him had him… worried. A feeling that wasn’t very Yautja. That didn’t stop him from feeling that way without you being at his side.

To be honest, it felt like the fullest of hunting grounds with you in his arms. Your warmth against him; hearing your heartbeat; smelling you. He wouldn’t let you go, even if this position was making his back due to the strange angle and added weight.

Mai pulled his head back to stare you in the eye through the darkness. “What happened to you?” You knew immediately what he was reference towards and turned on the light on your nightstand. This lit up your newly marred skin to him. The scars were a fresh pink. Mai’s pupils narrowed down and scanned over them, hands coming up to stroke them.

“Careful, they’re still sensitive,” you said, sounding distant. The memories were still fresh but you didn’t want to think about them. Your hand carefully caressed a tress as a distraction.

Next, he motioned with his head towards your metal right arm. Before he could ask about that one, you beat him to it. “I’d rather not go into detail. Let’s just say I lost a fight,” is what you told him. You still couldn’t believe what had happened. Your arm gone. Missing. Replaced by metal.

Anger dribbled into Mai’s system as he stared down at you. “Why did you leave?” he hissed out and forced himself all the closer. You sighed, head falling to the side.

“I was summoned for an operation. It was sudden. I had little time to get ready, let alone send that message to you,” you explained and relaxed your sore arms. Mai changed his position. He forced your legs apart and shuffle closer, bottom of your thighs resting on top of his. His chest to yours, face reburied into the crook of your neck. A growl vibrated your ribcage.

Sharp claws bit into the flesh of your skin. The pain barely noticeable over the already existing one. “Worry isn’t something a Yautja feels.” Mai paused to somehow shift even closer into your body. “You made me worry if you were dead or alive. Don’t do that again.” He stopped again, the gears inside of his mind working. “You know what, you won’t be given an opportunity. You’re staying with me, all the time.”

“What?!” you shouted and wiggled against him, but unable to escape. “You can’t do that Mai! I have a life here, a job, all that stuff.”

It was like he wasn’t listening to you. “Mine,” he snarled into your skin and tightened his hold. There was a chance of freedom at the moment. You were stuck for better or worse.

[tinietaehyun]

Forsaken [VI]

[Sorcerer!Taehyun x Royal!Reader] [Series] [Chapter Six]

Pairing: Sorcerer!Taehyun x Royal!Reader [Ft. Prince!Beomgyu]

Genres: Royal!au, fantasy, romance, angst, fluff, supernatural, action, enemies to lovers.

Contains: Profanity, manipulative behaviour, mentions of illness, poison, dialogue-heavy.

Links: Forsaken Masterlist || Masterlist

Summary: Things seemed to be going rather smoothly now, despite this, you had an underlying feeling of uneasiness, it was going too smoothly. You also felt rather curious, what was your handsome companion’s past? Why was he so reluctant to open up?

Regardless, you were on target. You’d work together with Prince Beomgyu and be set to wage against your tyrant brother! Though it seems some underlying issues seemed to have slipped your mind.

Well, no one ever said things would be easy, just not…impossible. You come to the haunting realisation you were stuck in a web of deceit.

The quiet chatter and flapping of paper resound out in the Sorcerer’s Tower as the young apprentices read through their notes and books each with wand in hand reciting spell after spell.

Yeonjun stands proud, his gaze flickering between each apprentice and their techniques; his arms crossed and brows furrowed in concentration. This time he doesn’t adorn his cloak and stands in front of a large, crinkled spell book (which seemed to have seen better days.)

This was Yeonjun’s father’s prized possession and now it was his own prized possession. This beloved book contained drafts of new possible spells and was a collection of older spells. He would not let a single soul touch this book or peer inside. Albeit, this spellbook’s author - most thought it was Yeonjun’s father; that was far from the truth.

Sehun stands beside Yeonjun observing the apprentices; he shifts his weight from left to right foot carrying an air of apprehension. Sehun had become rather paranoid, sporting a set of dark circles under his eyes and losing some weight. “You look rough, your highness,” Yeonjun muses. Sehun dryly hums, “I’m aware, Yeonjun.”

The people of Fortuna upon learning about the consecutive deaths of their beloved rulers were appalled. Conspiracy started to spread like wildfire in the kingdom, how could both rulers die months apart from each other? Some theorised the queen died from grief. Others hyperbolised that it was a grand assassination attempt from another nation. Whatever it was, the people were unsettled and rather unhappy with the lack of a ruler. It made him nervous; what if they didn’t accept him?

Furthermore, members of the Royal Court have made several comments in which the people are perceiving the deaths as a bad omen. Much effort was spared to cover up Sehun’s crime with the support of his barons, yet, there was a fair hint of warning, that if the people found out he poisoned his parents, threatened to kill his so-called sibling, it may result in a rebellion. They’d call him a tyrant! He shudders, no, he couldn’t have that. He had to become king! That’s what he was born to be!

Yeonjun’s sharp eyes observe Sehun's silent yet tormented demeanor. Of course he knew the Crown Prince was having internal conflict, second-guessing himself, particularly after the bounty he sent out. A smile laces the blonde haired man's lips, “Your highness?”

“Hm? Apologies, it appears I drifted off into my own mind. I’m not imposing here, am I? I need your counsel, is all,” Sehun utters, frowning. Yeonjun beams, “Nonsense, your highness. I am first and foremost your friend. Never feel it as a burden to confide in me. I sense you have some doubts and concerns, no?” Sehun hums, “Observant as always, my friend.”

Yeonjun comments, “I feel your anxieties are unnecessary, your highness. You will be well received by the people, after all, you’ve taken all the necessary measures. Additionally, you are the blood-born son of the King and Queen - the people have no choice but to accept you as their king.”

Sehun stiffens. No choice but to accept him. Yes, yes, if the people weren’t agreeable whilst he took the diplomatic route, then he’d have to rule with a firm fist. He couldn’t lose his position, even if half the population despised him.

“Worry not, your highness. I’m sure everything will go accordingly. You will be a fine king,” Yeonjun reassures. Yeonjun tilts his head with a crooked smile, “Surely, you trust the words of your favoured advisor and mage, no?”

Sehun smiles, “Ah, how could I not? Everything you’ve helped me with so far, has worked out. If you say I will, then with you beside me, my friend, I shall indeed rule with an iron fist.” Yeonjun hums, “That’s the confidence I like to hear, your highness. No need to fret.”

Yeonjun speaks, “I’ve caught wind that your sister is currently in the Kingdom of Luna, your highness.” Sehun stiffens, “What? Before my own knights? How did you come across such information?”

Yeonjun flashes him a grin, “I have a few special informants of my own, your highness. I can’t sit back and let a threat to you run around, and disturb the peace. I thought it’d help you, no?” Sehun goes quiet for a moment, “Oh, your own informants? I see, fascinating. Good, I am glad to see you are as capable as always.”

Sehun murmurs, “Luna is our ally kingdom. A strong one at that; our treaty signing ceremony was historic after years of war over the Northern Territory.” Yeonjun nods, “Indeed, it’s an exemplary example of diplomacy. Fortuna flourished after signing the treaty.” Sehun remains deep in thought; what were you doing there? He had put out a bounty for you, so he should have gotten word of it immediately, no?

Sehun scowls, “I assume she fled there to seek help. How pointless, she does not know about the numerous clauses in our peace treaty. That foolish prince would never side with her, if he knew what was good for him and his kingdom. Luna had already surrendered to us once, he knows his place.”

Yeonjun speaks amused, “I suppose so. Yet it’s a valiant effort. She is rather beautiful, no? I believe she can be rather persuasive, she may persuade him to side with her. I’ve heard the Prince is fond of her.” Sehun’s gaze darkens, “Preposterous. There’s not a chance.” “The Prince has not informed you of her presence, though?” Yeonjun questions.

Sehun scoffs, “Who knows if he’s even aware that she’s in the kingdom. He’s always been focused on expanding territory in the North. Their pitiful kingdom has so many restrictions in terms of magic too, so far behind. At the end of the day, as much of a pretty boy prince as everyone says he is, all I see is a greedy bastard behind those eyes, playing a charming facade. Father always was wary of his political exploits in the North.”

Yeonjun chuckles, “An astute observation, it appears there’s still some resentment.”

Sehun mutters, “But of course! If it weren’t for the stupid peace treaty our nation could have taken over theirs. But no, both troop’s were forced to retreat after sustaining too many losses. Ungrateful wretches.”

Yeonjun hums in thought, “Didn’t they ask for the Princess’s hand in marriage at one point?” Sehun grimaces in disgust, “Do not remind me. They wished to strengthen our allyship through betrothal. My father saw straight through their attempt. What a poor attempt at taking over Fortuna. Then again, if it had occurred then y/n would not be such a pain. I’d have gotten the throne automatically.”

Yeonjun muses, “I heard the court was up in arms at the thought of betrothal with Luna.” Sehun nods, “Believe me, it was a unanimous vote. Marriage gives way to power. Something that Fortuna cannot afford to lose. Y/n seemed to not like the idea anyway.”

Yeonjun’s lips curl up, “Well. With you as king, the people have nothing to worry about.” Sehun hums pleasantly, “Yes. Yes, exactly,” he continues muttering to himself, “Shame, they took the rejection rather well.” Yeonjun snorts.

They both stand in silence, each sunk into their own thoughts before the sound of footsteps rush into the room. A young knight bows before peering at Yeonjun, “Royal Sorcerer, I have received more word from across the border.” Yeonjun gestures for him to continue. “It has been confirmed that the Princess is within Prince Choi’s palace.”

“Backstabbing, filthy brat,” Sehun snaps, “And he did not think to inform me? Of course he has his own agenda!” Yeonjun muses, “Your highness, calm down.” The knight trembles, “W-Well, it was also confirmed that she was not alone. Her companion was described to be tall, pale blonde hair, young man, perhaps in his twenties. Black cloak.” Yeonjun’s brows furrow.

Sehun’s eyes flicker back and forth; his breaths becoming shaky, his thoughts running wild, “How insolent, I knew it, they were conspiring against me. They plan to rebel against me, that foolish wench! She must have seduced him, something, anything!”

The knight and Yeonjun peer as Sehun’s composed exterior cracks. The pressure and paranoia were building up. Yeonjun’s eyes glimmer and he hums, “Now, now, your highness, please don’t say such things. You know what, leave this to me. I am your personal advisor, no? These are matters below you.”

Sehun peers at Yeonjun’s calm demeanor and the wide eyed stares of the apprentices around him. He must have looked frantic. Sehun clears his throat, “Right yes, a trivial matter indeed. Look into it promptly and report back to me. Quickly. Make haste.”

Yeonjun lowers his head, “Leave everything in my hands, no need to concern yourself.” Sehun nods before quickly retreating out of the room with an emerging migraine.

Yeonjun’s peers back at the knight amused, “Well then, do you not know the identity of this mysterious companion?” The knight splutters, “Ah, well he attacked the knights in Luna. We suspect he’s a sorcerer. The informant passed on his name-“

“Tell me,” Yeonjun cuts in his expression, growing menacing. “Taehyun? Kang?” The young boy rattles in his armour noting how the sorcerer’s eyes darken into a malevolent gaze and a crooked smirk.

“Ah, my friend, my dearest friend,” Yeonjun boisterously breaks out. Yeonjun slams his hands on the table startling everyone and he grits out brightly, “Oh how joyous indeed.” Ah yes, the son of the most talented sorcerer known to the nations of the south, of Fortuna. The pioneer of sorcery. Yeonjun’s gaze peers down to the large worn out book in front of him.

His hands clench to form fists and he smiles at the knight, “Good job. Keep the information coming. Anything to help our crown prince, yes?” The knight nods, quivering. “You’re dismissed,” Yeonjun mutters.

The startled apprentices resume their practice as the royal sorcerer stands with his hands on the table peering down at the book intently; his mind churning with an onslaught of thoughts. The exiled sorcerer and his exiled gifted son.

How did he come into contact with the princess? Yeonjun surmises, the princess must have taken the short route through the Woods of Mors; there was no other way they could have crossed paths.

A bitter laugh escapes his lips, “I thought you’d learned your lesson. But it appears you wish to play the game of revenge.” Here he thought he had died of starvation and loneliness.

That’s it, you were being used as a pawn by Taehyun. So he could leverage himself back into the palace despite his exile. How clever; Yeonjun deems irritated. Yeonjun sighs dramatically for everyone ears to hear, “To think, attempting to kill the King and Queen wasn’t enough, yet you’re coming back for more, how greedy, Kang.”

The apprentices look at him mortified. Yeonjun releases a chuckle, brightly grinning, “Ah sorry, I’m talking out loud aren't I? Don’t mind me.” To think after all that had happened, Taehyun had the guts to approach you and help you in your futile pursuit. How funny. Yeonjun laughs to himself. You were naive to trust him or that damned prince.

It appears that he’d have to see Taehyun again. Not a problem, Yeonjun always loved a good old reunion between best friends. He muses to himself, “Seems we'll meet again soon, old friend.” Yeonjun’s lips curl into a smirk as his eyes flicker back to the spellbook slamming it closed.

—————

Your heart sinks having had a revelation that Taehyun is far more important than he let on. Son of the pioneer of sorcery, the son of the previous royal sorcerer. Things couldn’t add up in your head. Why would the royal court banish his father and him so quickly? Why would your parents agree to such a thing?

What could his father have possibly done to warrant such an extreme response? A pang of worry hits you. Beomgyu gazes at your lost expression, his lips twisting into a smile. “Y/n, come now, don’t be worried. I’m sure Soobin will ease him. You have more important things to take care of, no?”

Right, your plight was still hanging in the air. You regard Beomgyu; his eyes twinkle, he seemed unfazed by the events. He outstretches his hand with a mischievous smirk, “Come, let’s go on a walk together, we have much catching up to do.”

You peer at his hand slightly flustered, “I’m still in my nightgown, I-“ Beomgyu chuckles, “I’m aware, luckily for you, it’s rather cute on you. But for your comfort I’ve already arranged some attire to be given later to change into. Don’t fret, come with me.” You bite your lips anxiously peering back in the direction that Taehyun stormed off. Would he be okay? Should you check on him?

“He’ll be fine,” Beomgyu cuts in startling you and you look back at him and he flashes you a smile. You hesitantly take his hand; it feels soft and your eyes widen as he grasps your hand firmly pulling you forward playfully, “Walk with me.”

Your heart palpitates a bit as you walk beside him; his hand not leaving yours. “It’s been quite the while since I’ve seen you in person.” You nod, “Indeed. We’ve seen each other briefly at balls and such.” He agrees, “What a shame, I was training my swordsmanship and studying, otherwise I could have seen you more often.” You chuckle, “You flatter me.”

Beomgyu muses, “No, but truly you seem to have become even more beautiful. All you need is a crown and…perfect. Radiant even.” You shake your head feeling warmth in your cheeks, “Come now, don’t jest.” You both walk in a comfortable silence. “I often wish I could visit Fortuna more. Our peace treaty has allowed Fortuna to truly prosper especially in regard to sorcery.” You reply, “Well yes, it makes me proud.”

You feel his thumb caress the back of your hand making your lips part in surprise as you walk. “You should be, if only Luna could be as half as developed in that sphere.” You had read that Luna sacrificed much during the wars and eventually unhappily conceded to allow the peace treaty to occur. You hum, “Luna is beautiful truly, small but thriving.”

Beomgyu muses smirking, “Oh it won’t be small for long, I do plan to expand out.” “In the North?” You question. He shakes his head, “I have recently achieved that territory, I was thinking somewhere bigger.” Bigger?

“Oh? That sounds ambitious. It won’t lead to any conflict will it?” You ask. He nonchalantly responds, “No, it should not, it all depends on the ruler’s choice.” Ruler? Surely he wasn’t targeting another nation? “Ruler? Isn’t that rather risky? What about Luna’s peace?” You inquire wide-eyed.

Beomgyu looks down at you as you walk with a chuckle, “You’re sweet thing aren’t you? Don’t worry I plan to go forward diplomatically.” You sigh in relief, “Good, I never expected less.”

“Oh, you must have high expectations of me?” Beomgyu grins. You bashfully smile, “Luna has always been so accommodating for my parents. Luna’s cooperation is what has allowed Fortuna to flourish.” His eyes flicker to your lips, “Well said.”

You resume walking, absorbing your stunning surroundings of the hallways of the palace. Your eyes look back at Beomgyu who seems to be observing you intently. “I’ve been meaning to ask, what do you think of the sorcerer? Taehyun?”

“Hm?” You ask surprised. Beomgyu hums, “Well, it seems you bicker quite a bit, not seriously I presume? I just find you two…to be an odd pair.” You don’t know why but at the mention of Taehyun’s name your heart flutters, bounces in your chest. What was wrong with you?

Beomgyu’s gaze locks onto you; the way your pupils dilate and your lips part in hesitation. He tilts his head, his grin fading a little. You mumble, “As…annoying as he is. He has a good heart.” “A good heart?” Beomgyu quirks.

You nod, “I…I don’t know how to explain it but, he saved me. He’s remained by my side thus far. As cold and rude as he might come off, I sense a kind heart within him.” Your mind flashes back to the conversation you had earlier with him; how he reassured you that he was going to stay.

“That’s admirable…” Beomgyu comments, “To see good in someone, is always a good trait to have, y/n.” You shake your head with a soft smile, “No, I don’t see good in him. He is a good person, Beomgyu. Misunderstood…” your brows furrow, “…maybe even wronged.” You frown.

Beomgyu muses, “Is that so? You think that?” You murmur, “Yes, I do.” He looks forward; his expression becoming neutral, “How endearing. Dare I say, you sound fond.” Do you?

“As sweet as you are, please be careful. At the end of the day, you haven’t known him for long, he is not a noble, he’s not as predictable,” Beomgyu advises. You sigh; did Beomgyu not like Taehyun despite his courtesy earlier? “Right,” you utter.

“You have a pure heart, princess. Many would take advantage of that. I’d hate to see you suffer because of your own kindness,” Beomgyu smiles at you. “I suppose you’re right, Sehun managed to,” you bitterly laugh. Beomgyu frowns, “Indeed. What a pity, to think he even sent a bounty for you, how sadistic.” You nod solemnly.

“Do not fret, y/n. I am by your side, after all.” You release a chuckle, “But of course.” He hums, “You would be a far better choice as a ruler than that self-centered scumbag.” You snort, “Well, yes.” You both return to a comfortable silence as you walk out into the palace gardens.

The gardens are filled to the brim with various flowers and shrubs making for an exquisitely grandiose display of nature. A gentle breeze wafts in the air.

“Ah, I’ve been meaning to ask, are you betrothed by chance? Here I am holding your hand and not even asking. How discourteous of me,” he chuckles. Your eyes widen, “Ah, no. Not since we- I mean…I have not thought of it. I wanted a few more years of solace to myself before such a commitment, you know?”

Memories flash in your mind; the grand bouquet and umpteen gift boxes delivered to your room with Hueningkai atrociously glaring at them. A laugh escapes your lips.

“Ah, ah, ‘since we’- ah, so you do remember and here I thought we were avoiding the elephant in the room,” Beomgyu teases. You murmur, “Well, how could I forget? It was my first and last betrothal proposal .” Beomgyu sighs with a smirk, “My parents truly did pick every single flower out of this very garden for your bouquet you know?” You murmur awkwardly, “Ah yes, the humongous bouquet.”

“Did you like the other trinkets that were sent? Surely you did not toss them aside?” He asks concerned. You shake your head, “No, no! I still have them, they were too precious to throw out. Like the music box and the hand mirror. Stunning pieces.” Beomgyu nods slowly peering down at your hand in his clasp, “Good. That makes me happy to hear.”

A heavy sigh escapes his lush lips and you start to feel your hand become weighty. You were honoured when you received the offer from Beomgyu’s parents to be betrothed to their son. A high honour indeed. You knew they did not do that because they liked you, no, no, it was only to strengthen the allyship between Luna and Fortuna - and what better way to solidify things than through marriage?

Unfortunately for them, your eighteen year old self was not prepared for such an advance. You were adamant in rejecting it immediately no matter what; as nice as Beomgyu was. You just weren’t keen on the idea of betrothal…especially when you were having mixed feelings with your beloved knight: Hueningkai at the time.

“May I ask…why you rejected it?” Beomgyu’s voice flattens and you awkwardly reply, “Ah well, I just thought the pressure of betrothal at that age was a little much. I didn’t know how you felt on the matter either, I didn’t want to agree on anything so concrete.” Beomgyu hums nodding slowly, “Huh…is that so. You considered my feelings.”

“Yes, what if you weren’t happy with it either? By saying yes I’d-“

“What if I was?” Beomgyu interrupts. You stiffen, “What?” Beomgyu peers at you deeply, “What if I was okay with it? Okay with being betrothed to you?” Your heart rate hastens. Well, this is awkward.

“Then…I’m afraid the answer would have been the same,” you shakily breathe out. He squeezes your hand before releasing it. A tense silence ensues and you titter, “W-What about you? You should be fighting off suitors, no? You must have betrothals coming at you frequently.”

Beomgyu muses, “Ah, you think I’m popular? Well after my mother had become bedridden, I had to become in charge.” Of course, Beomgyu had been ruling Luna since he was nineteen, how young. He must have felt so much burden and pressure. You frown, “Oh right, yes.”

He chuckles, “I haven’t had time for such things. The last betrothal I had was…you. I rejected others simply because I didn’t have time or didn’t care enough.” You process his words slowly.

You remember your father standing beside you as you looked at the pile of gifts and his eyes scan the letter offering a betrothal. You begged your father not to go through with it. Luckily for you, the royal court seemed opposed to it, and he had a soft spot for you. So he declined it; you remember hearing that marrying you off to Luna would endanger Fortuna’s diplomatic power and independence.

You peer back at Beomgyu’s blank expression; a pang of guilt hits you. All Beomgyu knew was royalty, he’d have accepted anyone in your position, anyone his parents asked. You weren’t special. You both continue to walk together beside each other.

How did the conversation swerve to this? How awkward. You sigh; perhaps you shouldn’t have agreed to take a walk. You just wanted to be on Beomgyu’s good side so he’d help you out. Your mind wanders back to Taehyun. What would they be talking about? Was Taehyun okay? Frankly, you wanted your own set of answers.

You both turn a corner following the path and you notice Beomgyu’s gaze on the ground. Was he deeply in thought or upset? You continue walking forward enjoying the scenery the best you can.

You realise you don’t hear the crunch of fellow footsteps beside you. You peer over your shoulder seeing Beomgyu come to a halt. He gazes at you with glimmering eyes, “Princess,”

“Beomgyu? Are you alright?” You inquire worried. You really hope you haven’t offended him. “We’ve forgotten the matter at heart, no? Your current situation.” Finally, you think. This was what you needed; you turn to face him.

“I’ve been thinking about it for the last few days on how best to approach this, how to help you attain your power back.” Your jaw tightens, ah, your title was stripped, how could you forget?

“Initially, the first thing to mind, is using Luna’s military and enforcing ourselves into Fortuna, barging grandly into the Royal Court to upheave their decision by force.” You flinch, well, that was certainly one method.

“Perhaps even kill your brother off, play it off as collateral? Revenge even?” Beomgyu nonchalantly comments startling you. You begin to realise how ruthless Beomgyu could be behind that charming and mischievous mask of his.

Beomgyu takes a step forward, “But how would that benefit me? In both those scenarios, I’ve violated the peace treaty holding our nations together; tantamount to treason, I could even start a war. We wouldn’t want that would we?” You shake your head; your heart begins to sink. An aura of anxiety filling your senses.

“Escorting you in front of the royal court, to have a fair trial and debate, to upheave the decree, would be pointless. I have no power in your court, and well, neither do you. They’d reject your plea to overturn the decree in a heartbeat,” he hums, taking another step forward. Your heart palpitates; something about his tone irked you. He sounded amused; condescending even.

You take a step back instinctively; you murmur, “So what are you suggesting we do then? I came all the way here for help.”

“But of course, y/n. All I ask is that you rely on me.” “Aren’t I already?” You quip back.

“No, I mean really rely on me, y/n.” You stiffen; as he steps forward once more. “You need to solidify your position as ruler. You need power. You need the power to have resources at your disposal.” You murmur bluntly, “Beomgyu, I need you to be direct with me.”

He chuckles, “You can get all this, provide me with enough diplomatic power in Fortuna’s court to aid you, and have my resources at your disposal if,” your mind churns, the only way he’d get diplomatic power in Fortuna’s court is if- no. Absolutely not. You freeze; only if you-

“Marry me.”

The words slam into you as though he threw a boulder at you. Marriage was a word thrown so carelessly around by nobles, for the sake of furthering themselves. A concept you despised so much; you wanted to love and be loved.

Yet, it had come full circle. He had come full circle.

You sharply snap, “Surely you are not bitter I rejected you all those years ago? You did not love me, to take it so hardly. I don’t understand?”

Beomgyu chuckles, “Oh y/n, I assure you, it’s a beneficial solution, for the both of us. It grants me diplomatic power to enter Luna. It allows you to become my ruling consort, providing you with a title.” Damn him!

“Furthermore, our allyship would strengthen, don't you think it would be lovely for Luna and Fortuna to be united?” Beomgyu questions inching closer. You’re speechless; he’s really thought about this. How cunning.

He muses, “You wouldn’t have to worry about the bounty either.” You shake angrily; you feel as though you’ve been backed into a corner. Why were you so naive? To think he was being so caring and nice out of genuine nature? Every damn noble was out for themselves!

All your kingdom’s actions have a price to pay. You step back trembling, “And if I don’t?”

“Don’t what?” He questions, his lips curling into a coy smile. “Want to marry you?” You snap, glaring.

A laugh escapes his lips as he walks forward talking, “I don’t have much I can do, as crown prince, I can’t encroach in Fortuna’s territory and start an uprising without valid reason. The treaty explicitly states to maintain peace at all times, but with you here, it endangers that. I’m sure you didn’t read the treaty, ever did you?”

Beomgyu continues with a condescending smile, “I can’t waltz in and claim that Sehun has no right to be king, because at the end of the day y/n, he is the blood-born heir, you are not. I’m not meaning to say you can’t rule, you very much can, but I have no power to stop him from becoming king, unless a member of the Fortuna royal family marries into mine.”

You scramble, “But- I came all this way for you. Just to be told all this!” Beomgyu chuckles, “Surely, you didn’t think it was that easy? Ruling is not just wearing a crown. It’s politics. It’s mindgames to hold your own against the enemies around you. Even your closest allies can be your enemies, princess.”

Beomgyu stands right in front of you, towering over your frame. “Hm, I shouldn’t even be calling you princess anymore should I?” Your composure cracks. Everyone was the same; everyone had their own sick agenda. Even… Beomgyu.

Your back hits the wall; he takes your shaking hand in his, “You know what they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” You stammer,“But if I marry you, I…our kingdoms will have to officially join. My father always stated foreign interference was never…” you begin as he interrupts, “If you’re worried I’d take over your throne, you’d still become queen? It is your nation, no?”

“I…I suppose.” You weren’t stupid to see that would not be the case; he’d take over Fortuna.

You were manipulated the moment you set foot here. To think you had such confidence in the mere political label of ‘ally’ just shows how inexperienced and foolish you are. The treaty was just for show; Luna had a lot of resentment against Fortuna. You should have known.

At the end of the day, everyone was out for each other and fighting for their own selfish gains.

“Both kingdom’s would benefit.” You whimper, as he leans down, “Why? Wouldn’t you prefer Fortuna to be in our hands than Sehun’s? Surely you trust me, no?”

His fingers lift your chin up to meet his gaze with a dark smile on his lips, “Come now, don’t look too upset. I’m helping you, don’t you see?” Shaky breaths tumble out of you, “You don’t love me.”

Beomgyu laughs with a mocking glint in his eyes, “What? I have to be in love with you to marry you? How naive.” His eyes flicker down to your trembling lips, “But if you want me to,” he twistedly hums, “I suppose we can play a facade of our own. Public support will be important, after all.”

You feel like you have nowhere to run. You’ve escaped a lion's den only to get caught in a bear trap.

“I thought…you’d respect our allyship,” you brokenly whisper. “I do, y/n. In my own way.” His gaze darkens, “You don’t know what it was like for my people, to wave the white flag and concede during the war.” You remain silent; “It was all for peace-“ He snaps lowly, “Peace that benefited your people.”

Beomgyu’s slender finger caress your jaw and his thumb runs across your cheek, “I don’t mean to be rude, you are rather endearing. I’m just providing you with options is all. I won’t force you.”

“Options?” You snark. “Yes, options, work with me or..” He alludes. “Or?” You mutter darkly.

Beomgyu leans closer with a malevolent smile, “I hand you over myself. After all, I’d rather not get on the new king-to-be’s bad side, hm? Quite the bounty too, I’ve heard.”

“Bastard,” you utter icily. Those weren’t options at all!

“Ah, ah, language,” Beomgyu hums, amused.

You were caught in a stringed web of deceitful complexities. How much worse could your situation get?

Taglist: [open]

@royallyjjk @wolfytae-exe @rencarnationofangel @sirenla @matcha-binz @beomies-world @michinri @parkweylyn @wikireads @hanniehaeeeeeee1004 @elara828 @wonioml @onima-chan @moonekth @glossykai @jjunielvrs @beargyuuzz @cathyun @hanstarrs @m3chigo

[alicerosejensen]

OK. I did it anyway! Finished the translation and tried as best he could. Part 3

I have a lot of debt, but I did it!

Good ending attached. If you like the bad ending of this story then please stop at 2 parts.

There's also a bit of angst here, a mention of smut.

I listened to a bunch of songs while writing this. In fact, there was a gigantic temptation to make Leon's girlfriend run away again, but I decided to fix the broken hearts of readers.

English is not my native language (I will write this as often as possible so that I don't get tomato thrown at me for mistakes). But I tried.

The text is quite large. I do not know if anyone has the strength to master it.

All efforts crumbled like a house of cards. All hopes that your relationship could still be saved were destroyed from the very day when you finally left, taking one suitcase with you.

For Leon, it was still an idiotic comedy that dragged on for a long time. He kept calling, texting, trying to talk to you about this misunderstanding. But you just cut him out of your life right away, without even giving him an attempt to explain everything.

But the comedy turned into a nightmare. Because Leon realized that you really left. A rather dirty game: to become the one who gave him peace and true love, and then in one second set fire to a small flowering island in his soul, leaving ashes behind.

Leon let you get too close to him. So close that he began to consider you his own. At some point, it even seemed to him that no one could love the way he loved you. But now you have turned the blue sky into black, discarding it as an unnecessary thing. Sometimes, stretching out his hand, lying on the bed, Leon woke up, thinking that since you are not around, then you are in the kitchen. You probably eat breakfast while looking at your phone.

But then he remembered.

You've gone. With tears, creating from his image a monster that hurt you throughout the relationship. You have done worse than Ada. It was a hundred times more painful. Leon knows it's crazy, but for just one night with you, he would give his life.

The only woman who has always been on his side. He wanted to feel the soft cotton of your gray T-shirt, but only your hands could be more gentle.

You have always been so pure that the world could be silenced by such innocence and angelic beauty. All the stars could go out if only something happened to you. You are a rare angel, in whose arms nothing hurts, who descended to him, to the last sinner, constantly fighting in an endless hell. Maybe someone decided that he received too much grace?

Leon would agree with that. But he's not ready to accept it. You said that you love him, despite the fact that he supposedly has feelings for Ada, and if he can convince you otherwise, then perhaps his beloved will return to him

But you didn't want to be in that cage. The whole situation with Leon, in your opinion, resembled the plot of Dolly Parton's song "Jolene", where Jolene is Ada Wong, whom you could beg not to take your lover. After all, as Jolene, Ada was the embodiment of an unearthly ideal. With a voice as soft as summer rain and with a smile like the breath of spring… Ha, you grinned remembering the words of the song.

What could you, a simple student, compare to this Ada-Jolene? Leon kept her compact in his bedside table and you still feel the reproach of envy that you will never become such a woman. You still cry when you think how many times he imagined an elusive mercenary in your place. But your happiness does not depend on Ada. You were able to find the strength to open the birdcage and run out to freedom, breathing in fresh air.

Leon used you. Crushed your heart into a piece of paper and threw it into the fire like the last scoundrel. But here you took out a burnt ember, intending to take care of it and already now you see that the first sprouts of trust in other men break into the light. However, love is not knocking at your door yet.

Because there is one huge problem: no matter how much pain Leon caused you, you want to leave him in your memories. Salty rivers of tears flow down your eyes almost every night, forcing you to curl up in the fetal position with your hands pressed to your chest when you read his messages. These are such ruthless blows that literally destroyed your soul. He's already traumatized you enough, so why doesn't he stop it already?!

The whole body and soul are screaming: help me! And the mind doesn't want to forget his fucking name and touch. You can't go back to Leon Scott Kennedy because he will bring nothing but evil. Say to yourself and remember forever: goodbye, my love for this man, because my heart can no longer bear this sick love.

You met in the spring and broke up in the spring. How much joy and sadness this time of year has brought you!

How much pain there is in the world, and all because of fucking love.

But for Leon it was completely different.

It was the middle of the day, when the sun was still high in the sky, promising to illuminate the streets with its light for at least another three or four hours. Late autumn time, Leon didn't want to get out of his mostly, alcohol-smelling apartment, but he had to write a report and hand it over to Hannigan, despite the overdue deadlines. To gather his thoughts a little for an answer, Leon went into a nice cafe, hiding from the strong wind, hoping that in addition to all kinds of desserts, he could order coffee to take away.

Ordinary strong coffee without sugar and hopes that it will not taste like bile.

The arrival of a new visitor was announced by a ringing bell, to the ringing of which the waiter immediately raised his head from his business. Leon was not going to linger, he walked past the tables with a few visitors until the familiar smell of women's perfume hit his nose.

And stopped.

He forgot about everything: Hannigan, the report, his job. About everything that brought him pain from your departure, because right now you were sitting with your back to him in a warm beige dress, holding a glass with some kind of drink with one hand and writing something in your notebook with the other pen, completely ignoring anyone.

All Leon wanted at this very second was to grab you in his arms and never let you go again.

How did this even happen? Why did you, loving him dearly, renounce him in an instant?

And yet your mere presence lifts him from the thorn-strewn earth. Only a meter separated you from each other, but Leon is already burning to the ground. It didn't matter if you were an angel or a demon, you were his love. His restless bird that flew away from him because it could. Because you believed he could still love another woman.

You look like two fools, each of whom believes in his own truth.

You were so serene, calm and nondescript to others. Strawberry ice cream almost melted from lack of your attention or you just didn't find it tasty enough to finish. Leon completely forgot why he came to this cafe. Illuminated by the evening sunlight, you looked like a work of art that you were so fond of.

A slight smile, careless strokes of a strange drawing in a notebook…you looked tired and a little thinner, but for him you remained the most beautiful. Aesthetic - Leon remembers that you like this word.

Did he have the right to disturb you? Like a mirage, Leon didn't want to scare away the one he loved because he knew if he touched you now, you would disappear again. Messages, calls - there were many of them and not one received a response.

If his love really brought you so much suffering, do you need it? Is he really that selfish? But now you tensed up, feeling someone else's gaze on your back, and as if small droplets of crystals began to beat anxiously against each other like wind music warning about who you are desperately trying to get out of your head.

But there was no soulful cry of "run."

You knew he was there. Behind. The heart did not stop with horror - it trembled with excitement. God, don't turn around! So much was lost because of Leon: dreams, hopes, trust, heart…

The palette of the endless emptiness of weekdays turned into slightly brighter colors.

Leon touched your shoulder and you shuddered lifting your head up. It was impossible to ignore this meeting and there was nowhere else to run. His touch was so welcome. The body responded to him by itself, trying to cling closer to feel the forgotten warmth. It was so good.

Suddenly you felt like a drug addict who received a long-awaited dose of the drug.

The purest buzz.

You still didn't say anything, just stared into those diamond eyes, completely losing yourself. By looking at it, you can experience all kinds of death. You wanted to finally surrender to him, submit and accept the inevitable, and then fall asleep in a tight embrace - all for the sake of the illusory hope of not being number 2.

What idiot said that time heals? There wasn't a night or a day when you didn't think about him.

You want to tell everyone to go to hell, and yourself first, because you're the last fool. A proud fool who can't live without him. Damn pride. Leon took a step forward, swallowing loudly, grabbing your shoulder with his other hand, but it didn't hurt. He looked at you as if he was afraid that you would melt into thin air.

You love each other very much, and each of you thinks that one of you does not love the other.

In an instant, everything collapsed in November. Leon knelt down, still squeezing your shoulders. Curse this month. He pressed you to him and you buried your face in his shoulder, inhaling the smell of a leather jacket and barely perceptible cologne. The stubble scratched the skin unpleasantly, but now these sensations were so pleasant.

If Leon doesn't disappear right now, it's going to be the worst month on the calendar. An unhappy month that will leave another stab wound. Your first true love and not a stupid infatuation…Whatever Carey says, it's impossible to forget Leon. There is no longer the strength to drown in it, grasping at a thin thread of feeling.

"Let's talk" - you're definitely a drug addict. His voice was like heroin causing euphoria. Rough and stringy at the same time. The infernal rejection started from him again.

The waiter's voice sounded like a soft soprano, and Leon reluctantly pulled away from you, but did not let go, as if he was afraid that you would jump up from your seat and run away, grabbing your coat. The lungs let out a heavy sigh, but you didn't want to talk to him. It was as if you were afraid that he would have words that would make you return to this anarchy of abnormal relationships. When he loves one woman and sleeps with a completely different one.

"I don't want to, go away," - you whispered, pushing him away with your palm. It was a terrible gesture. But you endured for a long time, accepting his lies, running after him like an obedient dog.

Love is not when it hurts you. And he mocks you and jokes, building those puppy dog eyes. He pretends that this separation is also hard for him. As if he wasn't a soulless being who took advantage of the trust of a girl in love with him.

But the idiotic heart keeps shouting to him, "Love me for a long, long time!" and Leon seems to hear him.

Leon grins, feeling butterflies flutter in his stomach. How many bridges can you burn?

But he strokes your head, runs his fingers through your hair.

"We'll just talk. Please stop ignoring me!"

"Stop foaming at the mouth to prove to me that the mysterious spy in red does not live in your head."

Keep your finger on the pulse and run. After paying for lunch, you grabbed your coat and walked briskly to the exit. And only when Leon caught up with you on the street, trying to stop you by grabbing your wrist, you turned into a scorpion who tried to escape using all his poison.

It's the same thing again.

"You're the worst thing that's ever happened in my life!"- that's what you finally shouted out to him along with all the other shit, but it was this phrase that killed him completely. The gaze seemed to read information from your face, as if checking it for truthfulness. The fucking detector gave out the truth.

"Someone like you never knew what love was. You know what's funny? To Ada Wong, you're just a puppet. A toy that she can play with whenever she wants, and then put it on the shelf and forget." - You poured out your burning poison, turning words into caustic acid to kill him once and for all, despite your tear-stained face. - "That's enough! I will never forgive you! Run after your elusive spy and leave me alone. I deserve to be happy. I'm already broken inside by your fucking love!"

It wasn't fair. You just tore him apart with those words. He's never even half loved you, he's never compared you to anyone! But nothing will bring you back to him. You will no longer illuminate his pitch darkness with your light. Leon really felt like a bastard who trampled on someone who loved him.

He stood there, looking after you, listening to your hysterical sobs, while you ran away again to lick the wounds inflicted. It seemed like you were about to fall to the ground and die from all this pain. All those months that you have not seen him, in no way helped you to stop loving this man. Because things have only gotten worse.

You wanted to lie down and die. Everything you were rebuilding exploded again, turning you into ruins. Ada Wong would never have allowed herself to do that. But the pain you felt became physical. Your head is spinning, the world has become so crazy and alien, sickeningly disgusting, because all the protective mechanisms of orgasm just fail you after all the continuous work. You just screamed from all the injustice that happened to you, and the name of this injustice was Leon S.Kennedy. The fucking bastard who caused you to fall into the mud, acting like an escaped lunatic.

"I hate you," - Leon heard it. The most terrible thing is that he realized that he was destroying you. Your body was experiencing physical pain - spasms, and you already needed professional help. And yet he cradled you like a baby in his arms until you fainted.

One thing you didn't have time to say: despite the fact that you were burning alive, your stupid little heart continues to seek salvation in Leon. It hurts her, but she calls him for help, begging for caring kisses and warm hugs.

What does it feel like to be a girl with a sensitive heart and a brave soul? The moment you discovered that he still loves Ada made you split into many pieces. Lying in a hospital bed, taking medications whose names you don't remember, you heard your mother's muffled crying and fell asleep under it, pulling the blanket over your shoulders, as if under a white noise. Your father stroked your head as if you were a child, slightly dulling the pain that was pounding in your chest.

"You will be sad and forget" - that's what your mother told you when she found out that the cause of the disease was a man. "You won't even remember that you once loved him there."

But you didn't want to forget him. You're so tired of falling asleep thinking about him… because even when you close your eyes like a phantom, you continue to see him. How can you live with this poison in your soul? Leon poisoned you and didn't even send you flowers, considering that he got you into the hospital because of him. And yet part of you was waiting for him to come.

Leon didn't come.

Nervous breakdown on the background of constant stress. Friends also came to find out about your well-being, but only Carey stayed for a long time, trying to pull you out of oblivion, which the brain could not cope with.

She didn't say a word about Leon, fearing that any mention of him would provoke a violent reaction again. Everyone kept saying that everything would be fine and you'd be coming home soon. Did you really feel a little better, but did you feel depressed just thinking about what would happen next? Your beloved friend disappeared as you wanted.

It is in vain to grieve about a failed relationship that was still beautiful, despite the subsequent horror.

"It was wonderful. Goodbye, Leon," you said to yourself when you found a little strength to admit that he is not a monster at all. Time is fleeting, and nothing lasts forever, and you are also unlucky to find happiness in this man.

Drive all thoughts of him away and remember that you are no longer the two of you. Find the strength to learn to live without him and suppressed the passionate feeling of rushing to him under the door banging on it with his fists.

Burn this brand on yourself.

In fact, even in the void can be cozy. When the day of discharge came, your father insisted that you come home again and recover a little from the experience. But you knew that if you came home, you would never erase Leon from your memory. If there was a record with his name on it, you would have listened to it until I broke it.

It's like you've been living in a dark paradise now. There are no medications for memory, but the ones that you started taking clearly muffle all feelings, allowing you to focus on studying. It was quiet and cold in this dark paradise because Leon wasn't there, but you still remembered how your pain-filled body fell to the floor. And yet there was one significant plus that allowed you to live - it was peaceful in this paradise.

And yet, as if you were a lost thing on the shelf, it did not leave you.

November is a really disgusting month. The whole world seemed to be turned upside down. There was the usual calmness with the absence of something important.

But then stability came.

You and Leon don't talk anymore. Apparently, what was said greatly influenced him, but the flowers in your soul still do not bloom. His love for you is still breathing and part of him knows that you love him, but he will prefer to give you a chance to forget him and all the memories associated with him, given how he hurt your soul.

He would like to stay in your life, but not after what he did.

Therefore, he was content with what was left to him. Polaroids from your vacation with him and memories…and some things that you forgot at his place. Meaningless little things, but he kept them. Everyone focused on their lives. You were riding with friends on a bike, exposing your face to the wind, hugging a friend. Leon is back from his work. And everyone missed the other.

But there is no desire to fall into this abyss anymore. Then it was time for healing, it seemed that the impossible was happening, but fate desperately liked to bring your roads together.

Your face is a real masterpiece against the background of daubs. Among the hundreds, Leon noticed you with your bestia when you were choosing some kind of gift, he looked at you from afar.

The cradle of his suffering… Leon feels like he is filled with love for you again, watching you laugh merrily after recovering from all the wounds that he inflicted on you. So cheerful… he had no right to be with you. With the people he values, something happens all the time, but this time he himself is the one who repeatedly stabbed in the back.

You never blamed Ada for your failure, only him, and it was deserved, because until the moment of your loss, Leon still found these meetings… more personal and intimate even if sex between them has not been for a long time. Just something else attracted him, but he would never let ordinary attraction destroy what he really loves.

However, that's exactly what he did. A stupid compact left somewhere in the corner of the bedside table, which he still had from China… you made the wrong conclusions by backing them up with that inappropriate message on his phone and it was still enough to leave him forever. But now you were laughing and it warmed Leon, how he wants to hear this sound again at home, along with numerous words of tenderness.

It was not worth looking at you for so long because some force pulling each other forced you to find this gaze from which you can die and rise again. Everything beautiful has remained very far away. None of you will say a simple "hello" to the other, and yet why are you silent like fools?

Thanks to the pills, all the senses were dulled a little, allowing a stupid thought to slip into your head - to talk to him.

The doctor prescribed you treatment: medications, rest and moderate physical activity, and somewhere between the lines he wrote in invisible ink "no Leon Kennedy." And you're drowning in this swamp again, violating all the doctor's orders. It doesn't hurt yet, but it's already scary to exhale if you stumble, fall into the water and have to start over.

These silent glances with each other… everyone is afraid to take an extra step, because everything can collapse. Leon doesn't want to be the cause of your tears, he's already brought enough shit to a dear person. Everything beautiful has remained very far away. None of you will say a simple "hello" to the other, and yet why are you silent like fools?

Thanks to the pills, all my senses were dulled a little, allowing a stupid thought to slip into my head - to talk to him. You said a lot to him that day, a lot of things he didn't really deserve, trapping him.

But only now are you wondering: did you notice any moments correctly or did you come up with a reason for leaving? After all, sometimes you could catch the scent of someone else's perfume on his clothes and still believe that there is only him and you. Maybe Ada marked it on purpose so that you could figure out who it really belongs to? What if it was her subtle sign for you?

"Stay away from my territory"

But there was another truth. Your bestie got distracted looking at some jewelry in the window when you watched Leon leave. Have you ever wondered who is a masochist God or is it you? It looks like it was you, because no god forced you to follow him. And Leon felt this persecution, which made him turn around when he saw your indecisive face.

You yourself took a step towards him, and the heart itself began to revive after a long hibernation. The truth is, you had no idea what to say.

It was you who wiped away his tears when he was in too much pain.

It was you who banished all his fears when he woke up in the middle of the night.

You were holding his hand. Not Ada.

"I'm sorry…" You nodded for some reason. - "I'm not… princess… this is a chance meeting. I didn't want to bother you, so you wouldn't think about me.

"I know." - Leon barely heard what you said to him, looking away from his eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said to you then.

"What?" - his reaction made your lips smile with a kind smile that he could not forget. Leon seemed really discouraged, but you just turned around to look at Carey to make sure she wouldn't go crazy when she saw who you were talking to. Definitely, it's all because of the pills.

"I said you were the worst thing that happened in my life, but that's not true. In fact, I only told you a lot because I wanted you to be as hurt as I was. However, I shouldn't have done that. You're a good man. I behaved terribly, like a naughty child."

Leon couldn't understand what had just happened to him. His pupils seemed to widen at the impossible words and your ridiculous apologies. After all, if anyone should be apologizing, it's him, because he drove you to a nervous breakdown. He shook his head, just in case checking to see if you were a figment of his imagination, but you were still standing there. Right in front of him. Was what was happening a prank?

Maybe it's karma?

"You don't have to apologize" - all Leon could squeeze out of himself and you just shrugged your shoulder for a long time without answering anything.

"I apologize for saying too much. It's my fault that I ended up in the hospital, not yours. But I'm not apologizing for that…" Ada's name stuck in throat.

"For leaving?" - Leon grinned when you silently agreed with him. - "At least you had the right to. I don't want to hurt you anymore. You've had enough of me already. "

He wanted to touch you. Just to touch your cheek or hand one last time. He didn't want to let you go, but he knew he couldn't keep around if you didn't want to. Leon snorts, trying to shake off this desire. What kind of kisses can we talk about if you don't love him? All hopes for at least some stability in his life burst like a balloon, and Leon himself held the needle in his hands.

"Thank you for your wonderful attitude!" - You shoot him again, saying these words, and Leon recoils from the one he was so eager to see. - "Even if we didn't succeed, I'm still grateful to you. The last few months have been difficult, but it's my own fault. You didn't promise me anything… I've had time to think. With this Ada, everything is much more complicated and longer for you than with me, and I probably didn't want to admit it to myself. I put on pink glasses and didn't want to see anything but pink shades. You didn't need my heart, and you told me about it at the very beginning, but that's how young she is…" - You laughed nervously, feeling that the effect of the pills seems to be starting to evaporate. - Someone has watched too many movies about love. Forgive me for these tantrums if you can."

Carey screamed loudly and you both turned around at her exclamation when she pulled you by the hand trying to take you away from this man. It even amused you a little, but something still pleased your poor soul more - you were able to admit to yourself that your fault was present in this breakup. Not just Leon.

Leon didn't have time to say a word, but it was in vain for him to be sad. You have forgiven him and yourself. It was the most important event that finally brought a bit of long-awaited relief.

There was only one thing you didn't want to understand, either the brain was using a dirty autosuggestion technique, or it was the pills that dorktor prescribed for you. but the point is this:

Kennedy needed your heart. He needed your love, because everything he had, he had already given to you.

He should have apologized, not you. He wanted to come to the hospital to pick you up, but changed his mind at the last moment, fearing that his presence would complicate the situation. And yet Leon followed you to the exit when Carey shouted at him not to dare approach.

It seems that this is the reason for your separation . The one who hammered into you the idiotic idea that you were his "meat for fucking".

But you are no longer running away from him, however, is it really necessary to break into an already destroyed world again, where he destroyed everything. Leon no longer leaves messages, does not call and does not look for a meeting, and you also began to live quietly feeling only constant fatigue and unwillingness to do anything. And it didn't work out with the guys, there were friends, but it didn't go beyond fun gatherings, even if they tried to flirt.

Looks like your heart still belongs to Leon. For him, it's probably a souvenir, and you have a hole in your chest.

Do you remember that bar where we met for the first time? Now, sitting at the same table, you're looking at the place where Leon was with some damn expensive bottle of whiskey. Without thinking about anything. You straightened your legs and just indulged in sweet memories that no longer caused any harm. It's a little sad, but you're still too young to be disappointed in yourself.

Previously, there was some kind of vigorous cocktail of disappointment, hatred, sadness and contempt inside, but now there is absolutely nothing. It's like you finally got a sobering slap in the face, returning to your former state and admitting that suffering is shit.

Was there any point in talking to Leon? He's probably already broken up with his feeble-minded girlfriend and now he's either found another one or is chasing Ada-their favorite cat-and-mouse game. Of course, he really has some part of your cosmetics left in his apartment, a favorite mug, maybe something else… oh! a notebook. What a stupid thing, because there was nothing important in this notebook except funny drawings and a list of products. Well, maybe something else in small things. Leon probably threw everything away a long time ago.

Although you would like to return the mug.

The mug that he gave you with an idiotic inscription.

You unlocked your phone and saw some excited messages from your father. After quickly answering them, you clicked on Leon's number. Just one click separated you. You could have texted or called, but you spat and just put the phone back in your pocket. It would be necessary to delete his number.

And he still has your damn expensive perfume. It is not like the one used by Ada Wong - her fragrance is dominated by fresh citrus notes combined with something cold. A grenade? You liked calmer floral scents. Lilac and gooseberry have a good aroma.

And you would have torn it off with your own hands. Because the bottle cost a lot of money, and was in a limited collection. For some reason, now you remember him and it became so insulting that you lost such an expensive thing (even if Kennedy bought it for you again). But it's still a damn stupid reason to look for a meeting with him!

In general, you should have been kicked out of his head too. Leon kept your things close on purpose but didn't touch them. One part of him hoped that you would remember them and come to pick them up, and the other party was afraid that then he would have nothing left. The last memories will be gone. He loved flipping through your notebook, finding funny the drawings you made while you were sitting at boring lectures.

He doesn't care, he knows that you liked this perfume, and he also knows that you can't afford such a luxury right now. It's a shitty act to look for a meeting with you again when all the dots are already set.

Even though he wants to see you, can he really let you go later?

However… he wants to write to you. Fingers are already typing a message when an alert with your number and a short phrase appears in front of the screen: Can I pick up some things?

Holy shit! YES!

Leon answered immediately. The usual "yes" despite the fact that everything inside was screaming. A couple of minutes later, another message came asking when you could do it and he wanted to answer in a sarcastic manner, what exactly is for you at any convenient time.

But the line came out the usual "when you want, then take it." Maybe it was a little rude.

Nothing else followed. Leon had no idea when to expect you. Apartment was in terrible condition. In addition, there was your wilted cactus on the computer table. Cactus. Wilted. Maybe because his hostess collected all the belongings and left forgetting him?

Leon didn't know how to take care of him at all. Just poured half-drunk water into a small flower pot, and that's it. The flower that grew on it has long disappeared, and the cactus itself has turned yellow. He turned the pot over in his hand, looking at it from all sides, wondering if it could be fixed somehow in a short time, but decided that if it really upset you, he would buy exactly the same one.

At least to make it up to you a little.

After about an hour of thinking, there was a quiet knock on the door. Leon, casting a cursory glance once again at the unfortunate cactus, let you into the apartment pretty quickly, but you stood there for a few more seconds as if you were afraid to enter the lion's den, which would certainly bite off your head if he crossed the threshold of the apartment.

"Hey," - Your hand waved nervously in the air as a greeting when you were here again, afraid of being captured by your own memories.

Leon only apologized for the mess (although he managed to clean up some things while you were just standing outside the door for about 30 minutes, gaining strength to knock) and offered you tea, knowing how much you love him. A great opportunity to find out what happened to your favorite mug, but you refused first of all by casting a glance at the withered plant.

"I watered him from time to time." He hesitated, scratching his head with his hand. - "Maybe he needed fertilizer, but I didn't know anything about it, especially since it's a cactus!.. Okay sweetheart, just let me buy you a new one or something.

Your laughter slightly diluted the gloomy atmosphere, and Leon clearly felt better.

"It's all right." - A small pot appeared in your hands with the intention of taking it and then throwing it away. - "To be honest, this guy has been sick for a long time. Eventually, he still fell to the death of the brave."

You smiled wearily, making some kind of hero out of a cactus, and your ex-boyfriend also picked up the cheerful mood, lowering his head as he leaned back against the bar, watching his angel take the last thing he had left from this relationship.

Leon compares this to the fact that you gave him the strongest and most beautiful wings when you agreed to be with him. Something truly pure and bright, which allowed him to fight with bioweapons, only for the sake of you and your kind. And now with relentless cruelty you are tearing these wings along with the spine. As the most severe punishment for a mistake.

You silently gather your things, trying not to let your hands shake as Leon watches your actions, fighting the urge to try to stop you again.

Inside, it feels like a guitar string is breaking or sad chords are playing in the soul. One sentence: All gone. You will be left behind, like another experienced chapter of his life, but the fact that the pages of this chapter were full of sincere joy only makes it worse.

Leon's eyes are on the lookout for anything that might help you change your mind. Turn the pages of the book of life a little back and rewrite the plot, correcting this misunderstanding. Although luck is not on his side again.

How to regain lost trust?

It was hardly possible. He could show you those messages from Ada, try to prove that the powder box has been in the trash for a long time, but would you believe him?

He called you by your name as you put the rest of your cosmetics in your bag, thinking that Leon didn't have anything particularly important from your things left. Of course, you turned around meeting with those eyes in which if you look for a long time you can drown, but now only Leon was choking of the two.

"You said then that I didn't promise you anything. it was true, I didn't really make any promises. No vows that I want a family, children and everything else that normal people have, since my work does not imply their presence." - Leon moved to a safe distance so you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Unlike you, even when under stress, he was well oriented and adjusted to the situation, because your eyes were already watering. - "I don’t understand at all what you saw in me that you fell in love with so much, but it was not non-reciprocal. Maybe I didn't say much, but I meant it. These gifts, trips, dinners in restaurants..."

"In your words, I became like a gold digger who managed to find a rich fool." - You interrupted him with a loud squelching nose.

"What?... oh no! Fuck... I didn't mean it. I just know I screwed up. I have a whole carload of problems that I didn't want and don't want to involve you in. Ada - is in this carload . You are right, a lot connects me with her and the story is very long, but believe me, this is not at all what I really want. When I was 21, it was damn interesting. I was attracted to her for many years until that outbreak in Lanshiang. I won’t lie, we met not only on missions, but also after them; Ada has repeatedly saved and helped me; I will not lie and say that I have never had sex with her, but! There is a huge difference between the usual attraction to each other and really sincere feelings. And you were never fucking meat to me!" - Leon raised his voice, but not to hurt you. These crystal blue eyes resembling ice, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, could melt the heart of anyone. He was the one who could turn you into a puddle in seconds. - "From the moment you agreed to be with me, I had no relationship with Ada other than working. Even in my thoughts. We have our own style of communication - it's true. Flirting and banter, but when you showed up…I didn't need anything else."

"Nevertheless, you have loved her for more than ten years. It's not an attachment anymore, Leon. It's weird that I have to explain this to you." - There was no longer that stone in your chest that prevented you from speaking. You felt like a kind of abbess who reveals the truth to the boy standing in front of you (who was much older). - "We managed to get into all this dirt like this…"

"Was our relationship dirt for you?" - You looked up at him. You could clearly see the experience, pain and sadness. As if what happened broke him completely. Leon frowned, waiting for your long answer. - "I haven't always been open with you, and yes, you deserve a younger guy. Someone from your college or just a nice man your age. But you really were the best episode in my life, despite the fact that things weren't always smooth between us."

"It's not about me" - The lip gloss that you were restlessly twisting in your hands all this time finally fell out, rolling to Leon's feet, as if it was a sign to finally approach him, but you were afraid of getting burned again.- "Understand me… I want to be loved. For real. I'm not a fool either, although you probably think I am…"

"I never thought that about you. Naive, careless - yes. But you always had enough brains."

"Women like Ada Wong… -" you kept trying to ignore Leon's gaze. - "You can't get them out of your head. A kind of fatal beauty, capable of hitting any man to death. Such women have no rivals, and you do not consider it an insult, but she chose you, which means that you belong to her forever. However, you don't mind, do you? If I were you, I wouldn't be able to resist her either."

"Yes… - Leon smiled very unpleasantly, sitting down on the edge of the bed, throwing you your lip gloss, which you managed to catch and throw into a gym bag. - "Manipulation; constant concealment of information; a rather specific concept of "relationship". We've been lovers for a long time-I won't deny it, besides, it doesn't make sense. But I'm telling you the truth: you've become everything to me. As I could, I showed my love and care. Trust me, sweetheart , when you get into the same shit year after year, not knowing if you'll live to see the next day… well, it's a bit tedious. With Ada BEFORE YOU, I had some stability. The stability of our crazy meetings, yes, I had feelings. Until I realized that all this is fucking nonsense and it's not love at all, but an ordinary attachment to a person I've known for many years. And it was never love."

"More than ten years…" - Leon shook his head when you said those words one by one, slowly, as if savoring each. - "If you wanted to stop everything, you would stop it, but she is really a part of you that you will never let go. She occupies a big place in your heart, and I don't want to sit on the bench at all, so that during your next break you come to me. Don't you think it's unfair to me and my feelings?"

You trembled. The nerves began to give up again and the fingertips began to go numb, covered with a sticky cold sweat. Trying to listen to your own feeling, you only heard the frantic beating of your heart and the blood pounding in your ears. In some ways, it resembled a pre-fainting state. Part of you knew that Leon wouldn't do anything wrong, and the other part was terrified of the conversation going on.

You urgently needed to grab something to distract yourself. But most of the things were already in the bag.

On the other hand, it was hard to tell what Leon was thinking. His eyes focused on one point-you. A mixture of misunderstanding, irritation and bitterness in one bottle. He got the feeling that you were trying to convince him to believe your own lies, because during the time that you were together, Leon never gave a reason to think that there was someone third in his life.

But you felt something that you wanted to tell him against your better judgment for a long time. This is what you started falling asleep with when you first started suspecting him of cheating, despite the fact that it was very stupid.

"I thought my love was enough for you and me. I was ready to forgive you for the first mistake, Leon. I thought I could be irreplaceable for you, but now I realize that I'm not her equal."

"God, can you hear yourself?" - Leon ran his hand through his hair pulling it back, sincerely tired of explaining the same thing to you. As if you really were…blunt.

However, he didn't need to tell you, you yourself understood what he was thinking. And yes, it was stupid to come here again. You're really dumb.

"The conversation reached a dead end." - you continued to collect the rest of the things, once again capitulating to him.

"You're leading him to a dead end!" - Leon jumped up from his seat, shouting loudly at the top of his voice. You recoiled to the side, away from his formidable figure, next to which your own seemed very tiny. Your subconscious was still saying "don't be afraid," but your instincts were afraid of any violence. He could scream, he could hit… Leon never did this, it was the lowest act for him to hit another (unless circumstances require it), and disputes were generally resolved by ordinary conversation. You knew he could raise his voice, but Leon chose to leave before he reached boiling point. - "What else do I have to tell you to make you believe me?"

Your heart sank. But stand still. The commanding tone of the inner voice told you to resist, and apparently the small iron makings of your father's character were passed on to you. As a last resort, you quickly glanced towards the door, holding a bag in your hands, figuring out a plan in case of escape, and Leon noticed your strange behavior. Disappointed once again. In myself or maybe already in you? Do you really think he's such a monster?

"Why the fuck are you shaking so much?" - It wasn't funny anymore. Leon snatched the bag and threw it with all his might into a corner, not caring about the fragile contents. - "One big quarrel and I became the son of a bitch who beat you up or what? I'm not an angel, and with all my adoration, you're not a gift either! But did I hurt you at least once?!

"Yes!" - In a fit of emotion, you screamed, closing the distance with one big step. Leon chuckled. He meant physical pain, not mental pain. - "You hurt me. And it's still hard for me to live with this wound. I screwed up too. You know, I'm not the only loser here! And this is not a quarrel! You're a fucking jerk who still can't figure out his feelings. You didn't promise me shit, and it's my mistake that I came up with a big love for you ! But no one who has a conscience and respect for a partner will keep a compact of an ex-girlfriend and correspond with her in a joking manner. For some reason, my father does not allow himself to do this. No truly loving man will ever allow himself to do this! And instead of at least admitting the obvious, you convince me of something else! Tell me, Leon, if I did this to you, would you want to keep talking? Would you be able to trust me? "

"This shit has been lying there for a fucking cloud of time. I've already forgotten about her!"

Now both of you have switched to raised tones. You weren't scared anymore. The anger inside you was growing, erasing absolutely all the feelings that had been blunted before. Now you wanted to be fucking rude to him again, and that's probably what he liked about you. Leon even suspected that you would flare up like a match and be able to hit him.

"Forgot about the messages too?!"

"Fuck..." - It was unbearable to fight with you. Like a stubborn sheep who believed a stupid fool - his damn friend Carey. Leon pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened a message chat with Ada. There was no government information there, so he turned the screen to your face so that you could see what was written months earlier. But you didn't even look. Until Leon grabbed your wrist and put the smartphone in your hand. - "Look, read it since you're so sure that I still love Ada. It already seems to me that you are crazy about her".

Stubbornness was not always the best trait of your character, so you pressed the button on the side of the screen and just put the phone on the bedside table, making it clear that you would not stoop to such baseness to dig into other people's things. You also had a sense of your own worthiness.

"What happened?" - Leon croaked, taking a step forward. - "You wanted proof-I gave it to you."

"I don't want anything anymore Leon"

Only one thought was spinning in your head like a gear, "In vain. You shouldn't have come! Nobody got better from the fact that you disturbed this wound by reopening it." And yet you lied to yourself first of all. Leon's anger is caused by your disbelief, but even in a fit of the most terrible rage, he never did anything to you. Although you definitely felt uncomfortable from the tense atmosphere that had developed, where almost sparks were flying around the room, you still kept well with your arms crossed on your chest.

You needed Leon. You still wanted to love him and hugging a pillow at night you imagined that you were hugging him. But agreeing to be a fallback is also not in your style. There will still be a drop of pride for this.

So you just went to your bag, trying to pick it up to pick up the last belongings and leave, but Leon grabs your wrist. No pain. A firm grip is like a call to stop and give him a few more tries before he lets you go forever.

And you freeze, yielding to your instincts that purr sweetly from the slightest intimacy with this man. I wonder if Leon feels your pulse beating wildly? He lets go of your hand, biting his lower lip, and God, how you want to reach out to him to remember again what it's like to be his lover…

"So you came here just to break my heart again?" - his palms rested on your face, forcing you to look at him. For a second you suffocated drowning in the fragrance of his body and losing your mind looking into those eyes again. It's like they were pulling the soul out of you. - "Which of us is hurting the other more? First you reject me by running away for two months, then you pack up and say you never want to see me, but now you're coming back again… Of the two of us, who is the greater sadist?"

Your cheek pressed against his palm. A wave of heat spread throughout your body in small electrical discharges, as if you had taken a heavy intoxicating drug that turned you into clay in his hands. Leon pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes so that you could listen to the steady breathing and you were so waiting for the last kiss. At least a light touch of his lips…

Maybe in fact the main villain of this story was not Leon at all, but you yourself?

"I do not know," - somehow you whispered barely audible. Despite your closeness, you weren't sure Leon heard. -" I'm completely confused"

His bangs fell over your eyes, which made you smile a little.

"Do you want to leave?" - A question that made the body shudder with fright. As if you didn't want him to ask it to you, because an inner voice kept saying "no" and common sense began to doubt the correctness of the decisions made earlier. - "I don't want to let you go, but I can't forcibly hold you either. I really love you no matter what you think of yourself there, and it doesn't matter whether you believe me or not."

"I want to believe you but" - the voice trembled like a string. You lowered your gaze, trying to blink away the hateful tears despite the fact that Leon continued to hold your face.

"What?"

"I'm afraid." - you finally confessed, feeling a huge crack in your heart. Leon pressed you to his chest and you were grateful to him at that second because you no longer had the strength to control your emotions. - "I'm just afraid"

"My love? Or what?"

You didn't know what you were afraid of anymore. Leon pressed his cheek to the top of your head, holding the back of your head. Both of you didn't even notice how it started raining outside, creating an atmosphere of silence and loneliness. All that the soul craved was to stay standing like that for longer or even for an eternity. You feel his other hand on your waist, but you don't have the resolve to hug him back.

"It's not even about Ada, right?" - you didn't say anything. - "Do you really distrust me so much that you are ready to believe anyone but me?"

"You smelled of her perfume; you kept her things and never trusted me. I've always been away from you."

"Believe me angel, the shit that I constantly see haunts me almost every night and this is not what I want for you at all. Even if you begged me, I would never tell you about it. And about the rest…I have no idea what you smelled there."

Leon's words sounded like a final chord. No more excuses. Your body reflexively pressed against him, feeling the lost warmth of your native closeness, which caused the corners of Leon's lips to slightly rise up.

And in the end, you succumbed to the temptation of clasping his back with your trembling hands, covering your eyes from the fatigue of what is happening.

His lips touched your hair, and the noisy intake of breath that followed made him plunge into memories. It seemed like everything was covered in a misty haze, and your scent could make him lose his mind, even if it was for brief moments. The anxiety of a quick farewell enveloped the body, but there was something else… something that excites the mind regardless of temperature. A strange and at the same time precious emotion that has returned comfort to you two, affectionate behavior to each other, warmth of soul. This is something from the depths of the heart.

If Ada was a candle all this time, whose light illuminated a narrow space, then you were like the sun, whose warmth and beauty he missed so much. Leon realized that he was looking at a dazzling man with a huge sun inside, which dispelled all the darkness that had hung over him since the days of Raccoon City.

He knew he had no right to do that, and you could have pushed him away, but Leon wanted to feel your light one last time. Tearing you away from his shoulder so that the next moment he could press his lips to yours, memorizing your sweet taste. Like a rare nectar that can only be tasted once. A crushing kiss filled with belated remorse.

"Let this be my parting gift"

You're not annoyed or even angry. Whatever happens, you will always love him more than you should. So much time spent in vain to burn bittersweet feelings out of a stupid heart and stop following stupid emotions. Everything was absolutely in vain.

You pursed your lips when Leon started pulling away from you. As an avalanche hit a lonely wanderer, so you were dying at this second. leon believed that his love was hurting you and he is ready to step back so that you can heal, but the fact is that now you are at a crossroads again, not knowing the right way.

So maybe we should turn back?

You don't have an umbrella, just a thin jacket, and it's still raining mercilessly outside, as if someone is mourning the heavens. Drops trickle down the glass, and you wipe away your own tears, trying to listen to the footsteps behind you, but they are not there. A gigantic heaviness rolled over.

"It's stupid," you sobbed when you heard his voice, the one that cut you from the inside like a knife blade, forcing you to clench your teeth. - "I will never look for a meeting with you again, but still…stay with me."

"I..I can not…don't know" - Leon hugged you from behind again. Your voice was lost in hoarse sobs and if it weren't for his strong hands, your knees would hit the floor. It was as if the scenario of that day was repeating itself. - "I don't want to leave. I love you so much..."

You covered your mouth with your hand, unable to hold back your sobs any longer. It's just that emotions poured out in a flurry, turning you into a crying mess. However, the grip on your thin shoulders tightened when Leon turned you around to face him, holding you in a vice.

And your hand felt so good on his neck… Leon smiled as if he didn't want to know anything else in the world, starting to cover your tearful face with smudged kisses lingering on your lips and when you started answering all the barriers finally collapsed.

"So you'll stay." - no question. - "No more tears. No jealousy. You're here with me."

"Lee..on…" - with difficulty pronouncing his name, he burst into your mouth with a new kiss that stopped your breath. His tongue easily slid into your mouth intertwining with yours and you knew where to put yourself, allowing his hands to wander over your body.

"Either you leave now and never come back, or we send everything to hell and forget all the shit that happened to us. Choose now."

You were hanging around his neck, and to be honest, this really was your last chance to escape. It was only necessary to make a movement to the side, to pull away from him, but you stood still. One minute. Two… maybe the last two minutes of your sane thoughts.

You stayed, continuing to look into those sky-blue eyes, pressing your forehead against his, without interrupting eye contact. The person standing in front of you was irreplaceable, and now you would rather part with your life than agree to part with him.

Leon stroked your cheek with a funny peck on the lips, causing a sincere smile.

"Never dare to doubt me. Don't ever leave again. You and I will go somewhere far, far away from here. Let's drop everything and go to some house on the shore of the lake, where we will enjoy the tranquility and each other." - another kiss on the swollen nose. You just nodded, clinging to his T-shirt.

You've always been more of a vanilla girl, but Leon decided that rudeness would be superfluous. Not now and not tonight. He pulled off your clothes along with your underwear, throwing you on the soft bed that you already shared with him once and all you could think about was how he proved his love for you, holding you motionless in his arms, licking wet tracks from his cheeks. You didn't have the strength to fight him trying to take the initiative, the only thing you were thinking about was deep slow thrusts knocking moans out of your mouth. Leon was hugging you to him with great greed and a bit of fear, as if you could run away from him now. That's why he whispered soothing words and praise in your ear all the while tucking your hair back.

"I love you. You have no right to think otherwise. You're just my pretty girl, look at me, beautiful" - Leon threw you on the pillow, forcing you to open your eyes. Panting, you obeyed, wrapping your legs around his torso, pressing even closer to him, while Leon found your hand, twining your fingers together. - "I need you. You're my favorite girl, I love you so much. More than anything in the world, I value you, don't you dare leave me anymore, angel."

His smooth movements were maddening. Leaning over to you, he caught your lips pulling into a gentle kiss, but you immediately interrupted him leaning against his cheek like a petting cat, losing his head and blushing from vulgar pops and squelching sounds due to the abundance of lubricant.

"Don't leave me," - you freed your hands trying to straddle him, but Leon crossed your sad attempt pressing only harder to the mattress. - "I'm not leaving anymore, I swear. I'm so sorry… I've never wanted anyone more than you. Only you…my love…"

He was so gentle with you. There could be bruises from your closeness in some places, but you felt as good as ever in all the past months of separation. A loud moan escaped his lips when he plunged into you too deeply. His seed soiled your belly when he cum snuggling up to you.

You don't remember exactly when your sanity returned to you, but you definitely felt it when Leon, after the second round and long hugs with compliments, took you to the shower where he carefully washed off the traces of your intimacy with him, gently kissing and sucking every bruise left from his fingers, promising that he would take care of it in the morning.

You ran your fingers over his wet bangs, brushing it away from his eyes, which Leon used when he picked you up under the hips after taking a hot shower to take you back to his bed and let you rest.

Actually, the bed linen should have been changed too, but you two didn't care at all. Leon pulled you closer to him, laying you on his chest, hugging you with both hands, stopping any attempts to escape, but you were no longer planning to run anywhere. He fell asleep pretty quickly, and you lay motionless next to him for another hour, tormented by a feeling of hunger and thinking how you could get to the refrigerator without disturbing a light sleep. His shirt was left lying on the floor and with an awkward movement, as if deceiving a sleeping man with the desire to turn over, you carefully free yourself from the ring of embraces by getting out of bed. You take a cursory glance at Leon, making sure that he is still asleep and throw it on hastily without even buttoning his shirt, leaving the bedroom with light steps with the obvious intention of robbing his refrigerator.

Slowly and on tiptoe… wanting to have a snack at least with a sandwich, you realize when you open the door that a mouse has hanged itself in the refrigerator. Nothing particularly edible, and what Leon ate all this time, also remains a mystery.

Although it seems the cheese seemed quite usable. It's not too satisfying after a particularly sinful night, but you can last until morning. You already want to close the door when suddenly you realize with a sixth sense that someone is standing behind you, forcing you to freeze in place with a slice of cheese in your teeth.

But Leon just stroked your thighs laughing at the silent scene.

"I'm hungry" - That's the whole excuse. - "I'm sorry, but I won't fall asleep if I don't eat something…"

"I told you not to leave me anywhere." - It sounded harsh, but with obvious notes of playfulness, especially since Leon was clearly staring at your breasts. - "You could have asked me instead of running away again. God, stop eating that cheese. I don't want you to get poisoned!"

"Then feed me something or I'll starve to death. I definitely won't be able to return from the other world."

Leon took the fucking cheese out of your hands after enjoying this sweet conversation between two lovers and one hungry heart and threw you over his shoulder carrying you back to the bedroom, putting you back in his bed.

"And now you're lying or sitting in bed like the obedient girl you are while I bring us something to eat. If you are not in this place, blame yourself. You've already rubbed my nerves and yours enough, angel." - You nodded, still feeling the residual stress from the hysteria you experienced, but you were still smiling sweetly, hanging one leg over the edge of the bed, teasing Leon a little, who was getting dressed all this time. He noticed your stupid game and took a leather jacket from the closet on the way out of the bedroom tickled your heel, forcing you to hide it back under the blanket.

"You're staying here. So that when I come back, and it will be very soon, I will find you in this very place." - Notes of sadness and fatigue were still hovering in his eyes, so you didn't argue, but just agreed.

"I'll be here. It's raining outside anyway and I don't have an umbrella with me."

Leon flicked you on the nose, clearly not appreciating the joke. He didn't even ask what you wanted, even though he already knew about your taste preferences. Therefore, as soon as the door slammed shut, you quickly reached for your mobile phone, answering missed calls from your parents, explaining to them that you just dozed off and didn't hear the mobile. In general, you have found something to do by digging into your phone, checking messages and flipping through the news feed in the social network, thinking only about Leon and the food that he should bring soon.

It all still seemed unreal. You looked at the corner where your abandoned bag was left lying around, as if confirming reality. It's unlikely to be possible to pretend that nothing happened and Leon really looked too tired, but right now you didn't want to think about anything else except his return. Perhaps you have already suffered enough and you really should go on vacation together somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the world? Leon will probably want to talk about this topic again with a fresher head when he calms down a little.

In the end, finding you sleeping in his bed was a really beautiful reality that he was afraid he had already lost. In his shirt, with pretty bare thighs, sleeping lightly on his pillow. Leon put the bag of food on the table, taking off his jacket just to hug you, proving to himself once again that this is really not a dream.

You really stayed with him and he won't let you leave anymore.

[thefourchimes]

lots of encanto AUs i want to talk about so here you go

so uh, i've been brain rotting and hyperfixating on encanto for a bit now, and its been very fun

tho i've barely talked about some of the ideas and aus i have and want to share, so i guess i want to do that now in a way, so uh... (mirabel voice) lets go lets go

List of AUs here:

Time Travel AU

Big Hero 6 AU

[Redacted] AU (not the au's actual name, hidden for reasons)

Ghost Cocoon AU (fusion idea au i came up with of the cocoon au by @raefever and ghost grandchildren au by @jerseyk112, both found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Giftless Grandkids AU (idea by anon, also found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Undertale AU

Gravity Falls AU

P.S. some of these au ideas are not originally mine, but i've contributed to them in some way, and i've credited and tagged the creators

More information of the AUs found below

1. Time Travel AU

first au i've ever thought about, cool hue sisters centered, because i love them sm and i was still finding my footing in encanto and the fandom when i thought of this au, and yeah

its where isabela and luisa get sent back to the past after going after and protecting mirabel as casita falls

i gained the idea after seeing how the two older sisters were still so terrified of alma and disappointing her that they couldn't stand up for mirabel and for themselves, but as casita was falling, they weren't about to let their baby sister go, not after everything

despite this being the first au, its also still really vague and barebones in a sense, not much planned yet and its all just vibes, plus i just really wanted a cool sisters au because i love them sm

2. Big Hero 6 AU

ah yes, big hero 6 au, my beloved

came to be when i figured out bear aka @gamerbearmira's reference in one of her encanto one shots, the scooby doo one where they got arrested, and she used bh6's aunt cass' rant for alma's rant in said one shot, and then it led me to realize the potential of encanto big hero 6 au with bear, so that was fun

there's a post in bear's blog for the au, so you can check it out

there's a bunch more info that we haven't shared yet, but it's all written up in the docs for it, so yesyes

honestly been a bit since i touched the au personally, as i keep getting distracted by the other ones below

but yeah, planning on exploring of this au soon <3

3. [Redacted] AU

ah yes, this au, the 120 and counting pages one in my docs

and the 120 pages are mostly just details and planning for the au, not a single written thing yet

this au is not called redacted au, but the name itself is redacted because the word itself is a bit of a spoiler and im still trying to find a better name for it in general

i have no idea how to explain this au

first thing to mention is how its very much inspired by Take Back the Kingdom by @optimistic-violinist and @impossiblefangirl0632 (sorry for the tag, i can take it out if you'd like) and i really really recommend this fic, its so so good and it changed my brain chemistry on so many levels

so yes, i really got inspired by this fic, and it will very much be shown in this particular au with some things and tropes, but ofc im doing my own spin on stuff and the details, and from what i have rn, i think it really evolved and is still evolving as time goes on

another thing to note about this is how the idea came to be because of TBTK inspiration and a dream i had on the day i was taking a metaphysics midterms exam (this is completely unnecessary to mention but oh well, i still remember that moment so vividly)

the dream impacted just exactly how this au is going to go

what is the dream about? you'll find out whenever i get to write this au

all i can say without spoiling much is that there are lots of memory shenanigans and angst, plus the very fun trope of "your found family is your actual family"

also once more, read take back the kingdom, very good fic, 11/10, much recommend, will reread again

4. Ghost Cocoon AU

this au is the fusion of the Cocoon au and the Ghost Grandkids au, both still found in @/gamerbearmira's blog

ghost grandkids au is from @jerseyk112 and cocoon au is from @raefever, and ofc bear has a lot of ideas and thoughts for these aus in her blog

i was rereading bear's cocooned fic for the 17123723507 time and while i was at it, i remembered the ghost grandchildren au, so i decided it would be pretty fun to fuse the two aus together in some way

and so i did (first ask, second ask)

basic premise of this au is really just the ghost kids' healing and them protecting their younger selves and their family

this fusion au interested me so much that it got to the point where i actually wrote a 3683 word first chapter of sorts(?) for this fusion au already (bear has seen it but i havent posted it at all)

planning on continuing it when i feel like it tho hehe

so yes its been wild with this one

5. Giftless Grandkids AU

giftless grandkids au, my beloved

just as the name says, au where all the grandkids are giftless

all i can say is everything and nothing changes all at the same time with this

this au was sent and suggested by an anon in bear's blog

this is also the one where bear and i went wild on for the past few days

pretty sure bear is gonna be writing this au, if im not mistaken? so its very exciting

there's a lot in store for this au and it'll be fun

6. Undertale AU

undertale au yesyes

not the type where the characters are these characters tho

this idea is where we'll be throwing the grandkids into the underground for an adventure of a lifetime!

so basically characters of one media meet characters of the other media type

and the kids are gonna be going through the plot of undertale, technically in frisk's shoes here

this au is still very vibes and not much planned, there's lots of potential to play around tho, so im thinking of exploring this at some point soon

7. Gravity Falls AU

gravity falls au this time!!

now this au is the one pure vibes one, absolutely zero planning or thoughts, just vibes and aspirations for it

not even sure if it'll be like the undertale au where characters of one media will meet characters of the other media or if it'll be characters from this media are gonna be these characters of that media in this au

i just thought it would be fun to have an encanto gravity falls au idea, but still dont know where it'll be going in general

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's about it, there's actually a few more ideas i havent mentioned yet, but let's just say these ideas are exactly like the gravity falls au vibing no planning, except much worse in a sense, so i have no idea what kind of footing there will be at all with those aus

but anyway, i digress, these are some of the ideas and aus i have and would love to share and write and uh, yeah

if you have any questions on these aus, feel free to ask if ever, my asks are open (this is the first time im saying this in a post omg help)

but anyway yes the brainrot and hyperfixation is real

if you got here to the end, congrats have a pic of my dog for your effort and dedication <333 see you around <3

[babybatsunite]

Silence - Morpheus x Reader HCS

Silence

Morpheus x dream!Reader headcanons

A/N: 'sup, fellas! If you read the comics you know that the Endless are not allowed to take mortals as lovers, and when Morpheus did that the sun destroyed her home and she killed herself (yeah)... so, to avoid unnecessary angst, I decided to make you, yeah, you! part of the dreaming, now how does that sound, huh?

p.s.: Btw, i'm not native in English so it might sound kinda weird lol

Warnings: Nothing, just a bunch of fluff and Morpheus self-sabotaging (as usual).

Initially, Morpheus created you as a dream. And in his opinion, you were his masterpiece.

He was so proud of you and your development. So proud of your kindness and beauty…

You were as much part of him as he was part of you. 

At first, he thought it was only the fact that you were a creation of his that made him absolutely infatuated with you. Oh boy, how wrong he was.

The idiot thought his feelings would simply fade away with time! And then weeks became months and months advanced to aeons. Nothing changed.

Every time he saw you walking in the gardens of the Dreaming, hair flowing in the wind, skin kissed by the moonlight and a sweet smile on your lips, all sorts of phenomena would blossom in his being.

He detested not having restraint of his sentiments. But how could he, when he had such a magnificent creature so close?

But he was afraid. Afraid that his stoic self would intimidate you away. Afraid he could not love you as you deserved. Afraid he would hurt you.

So he kept his distance, always keeping an eye on you from the shadows. Always contemplating your grace.

Little did he know that you were cultivating feelings for him since the day air filled your lungs for the first time.

Every time you both talked, it was like being born again, with so many new sensations to explore and understand. So many confessions were done when you looked deep into his eyes… But words never came. Only silence.

Birds and trees were the witnesses to your secret love. The grass would engulf your tears of love as you cried intimately.  

Certain day, when Morpheus was wandering calmly in the wilderness of the Dreaming, he heard a laughter that replenished his very soul with joy and serenity. It was your laughter. He always recognised your lovely sounds.

You had your feet in the river, appreciating the gentle waters and the jumps of the fishes.

Dream slowly approached, trying to not make too much commotion and destroy your moments of recreation, but it was futile, as you quickly noticed his presence, got up and bowed to him, with a soft "Your Majesty, what brings your lordship here? Can I help you?" leaving your lips.

Long minutes of utter silence came. Morpheus could only stare. Enthralled. All of his repressed feelings roared inside of him. He could not tolerate it anymore.

At that moment something snapped. He needed to do something… anything…

So, he came towards you, mysterious as always….cupped your cheeks and pressed his warm lips to yours.

You were shocked, absolutely speechless… it took you a moment to finally kiss back. And when you did kiss him back, oh, it was exactly how you visualized heaven to be like.

The kiss was intense, he felt like a thirsty man drinking the most flavorful juice any fruit could ever produce.

You tasted so sweet, like the most delightful honey possible. You smelled even sweeter, just how Morpheus expected.

"My lord, what… why?" Confusion took over your facial expressions.

"My dear one, I cannot hide my feelings for you anymore… Please, discount my aggressiveness… But it was the move of a lifetime." Inside of his eyes, you saw it… vulnerability, exposure, love… devotion.

"I desired this for so long, my love… You truly are the king of dreams… My greatest fantasy just turned into reality" You said exasperated, with tears of pure passion sliding down your cheeks.

With his thumb, Dream wiped away a lonely tear and smiled fondly.

"Beloved one, allow me to make all of your dreams come true, for all eternity…"

And with that, you sealed your lips together again. Making perpetual an unspoken promise between the two of you.

Wow, this one was wild! Hope you like this crappy thing! I hated it, but I gave my best and that's what came out of it, haha! Anyway, if it sounds weird, I'm not a native and blah, blah, blah! Comment if you desire! See you some other day! 

-Rei 

[zhng96]

LUCEM - terazono keita

↳ synopsis: hearts planted six feet underground, the buds of flowers still manage to pierce through the rotten soil and basks in the unfamiliar light.

↳ pairing: prince!terazono keita x gn!asassin!reader (royalty au)

↳ genre: fluff, comfort, angst

↳ warnings (updated at the beginning of every chapter): mentions of death, mentions of assassination, the queen is literally evil, sadism (from the queen), mentions of being stabbed, unedited writing, ummm i think thats it?

perm taglist: @tzuberry @hrtattcker @neohyxn @avocarua @dwcljh @uyujns @knrejj @taeraemisu @leejeongz

(scroll to the end to find the masterlist.)

oo. PROLOGUE.

the thunk of your heartbeat could almost substitute that of the queen's band as her gaze lingered on your bowed head with a disturbingly scrupulous gaze.

rumors of the queen's true attitude often resurfaced around the peasantry population of mare- after all, being completely isolated from the other nations, what had they better to do than gossip.

whether some would consider it lucky or unlucky- you were given the opportunity to serve her majesty herself. however, serving the highest power in mare does not commend you to overlook your crimes; neither does it pay very well. despite working under her royal majesty, your job was not of your choice- only a debt of your father you had to serve in his stead. a responsibility those innocent had to be burdened, while the perpetrator lives a life of wealth a far ways away.

a church bell ring and the silence of the juries. you almost find yourself laughing at the juxtaposition if it weren't for the unnecessary cuffs binding your wrists, and the guards ready to spear your feet in place if you even as much as shifted between your feet.

while the queen rewarded other guards with bags of coins, you were reminded of how lucky you were that she refrained from killing your entire bloodline for the mistakes of your father.

"by judgement of the juries, i hereby declare this treasonous scoundrel... the death sentence."

you didn't do it... really. you did nothing more than steal a single loaf of bread for your family... it wasn't like you killed anyone...

murmurs fill the room. some even resort to cussing you out directly- words that were never welcome in the palace- only by exception of a trial for treason.

stumbling upon the body of the beloved knight captain at the entrance of the palace was truly just a coincidence...

your ears seem to twitch at the sound of the guards' grips tightening against their spears. death sentence... here? right now?

nothing but a knave to her, you were. always dishonest, always untrustworthy, always...

"halt!" her golden eyes seem to glisten with irrevocable levity- it was almost as if- no it was sure she was enjoying this. "why... quite unfair that i don't get a say... especially when they are one of my most prized knights." an unsettling giggle dies on her lips as she speaks. liar, you think, your fingers twitch to just get a hold of her throat and squeeze- "wasted potential.... what a shame. i say we send her to kill queen terazono! if she doesn't come back with either her head or her heart, well then... we'll deal with her... accordingly." a sickly giggle bubbles from her throat as she tuts. her smirk grows even wider at the sight of you cowering under her gaze.

always... so easily controlled.

you lips part... sure you were a knight... but that does not compare to being an assassin. your head spins at the sentence- were you to kill the queen and be banished from ager (the land of the terazono clan) and be released from these baseless accusations, or be killed in mare (pathetically, if you had to add) without a fight. you growl in overwhelm, finally meeting the eyes of the woman that holds your fate like dough in her hands- no doubt she knew what she was doing. "i'll do you one better... i'll come back with the head of their next heir. how does terazono keita sound?" by the look of pure glee and the dainty clap of her hands at your proposal, you assume you've played the right cards... for now.

ooi. ONE.

oii. TWO.

iii. THREE.

oiv. FOUR.

navi. mlist.

[youandmedead]

Èmð†ïðñål ßårrï¢åÐê§ ~ §å†åñ x RêåÐêr

Warnings: Swearing, Angst with comfort, not fully proof read, some parts are a bit jumbled up, possibly ooc

Requested by: No one

Notes: Some of this is based upon my personal headcanons and this isn't specifically set in any Obey Me and Nightbringer chapters.

His face was tear-stricken.

He never felt like he truly belonged.

He felt as if they were all mocking him;every last one of them.

He didn’t want them to take pity upon his poisoned blood and shelter him for a ruse.

He never asked to be created, he never wanted to exist.

Born from rage, whilst every body was born from noble intent with no malice being sensed.

He felt alien and inferior from his creator…his so called brother.

He felt alien for not sharing the same blood.

Rage was all he knew…rage was all he had.

Satan felt that emotion was unnecessary and confusing. He believed that the apparel was something that purely came with territory and opted to ignore it. Confusion and stress always swirled around in his disarranged mind whenever the foreign concept seemed to vaguely wash over him. Despite reading about them in novels for hours on end, his experience and knowledge upon the topic was not as vast as one would assume.

Books were his main/true source of comfort (other than his feline companions) in his life. When the environment got too chaotic, when he was far too overwhelmed…when he needed to find consolation in the vast amount of pages after hurting his familial by mistake - books were always there for him. However one day a peculiar human dropped down from the world above and changed his views upon the concept of emotion entirely, in addition to allow him to fully experience the blooming desire of romance.

As time passed by with the human, the more and more Satan felt more accustomed to love. He rather enjoyed the whole conceptualisation and began to act upon these tendency of love and desire more when in the comfort of his beloved in a private setting.

Satan’s trust towards his partner slowly grew over time and his emotional barricade was beginning to lower bit by bit. However he never showed his true state when in an episode of depression. Wrath was a different story as he was the avatar of it, meaning whenever he had outbursts of rage he wouldn’t bother covering it up…but the after math was an entirely different story all together.

He’d lock himself in his room just before the tears began to spill. His regret would swallow him hole, his pessimistic thoughts would hold him prisoner until he was prepared to put his mask on and proceed to his day as per usual. Whenever he was restrained, locked up his thoughts of paranoia and inferiority would scream at him! Thoughts about his so called brothers laughing behind his back, regretting taking him in, taking an insulting amount of mere pity upon him…they’d all mix together with his emotions and add to his intense fire of negative thoughts and emotions. As it collects and builds, it eventually adds to his wrath more and more (like adding more wood to a fire) meaning he will yell, he will scream, he will damage everything in his path.

Sometimes he’d accidentally destroy things dear to him, like his favourite book or a small cat plush gifted by his partner. Once he has cooled down, he will notice and break down because the things he holds the most close to him always get destroyed by him. He’d simply pick up the broken pieces and hold them closely to his chest (sometimes even hug it) and cry. He’s terrified of hurting his beloved in the near future if he can not control his violent urges.

~

One day it was all too much for him.

Everybody and everything was becoming too overwhelming for him.

He couldn’t scream for you and the others to get away from him.

He wasn’t close enough to a bathroom or his room…

The tears kept building and building the more he saw your worried glance whilst you queried if he was alright.

His thought kept screaming, ‘They don’t care about you!’ ‘They think your weak!’ ‘Everybody’s laughing!’ ‘What a pathetic mess you are’.

Until he eventually snapped.

“Shut up!” He yelled whilst pulling at his hair, “Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, FUCKING SHUT UP!!!”

He fell to his knees and the tears that were once trapped, flooded his eyes and streamed down his beautiful face.

His brothers took a step forward prepared to ask him what was wrong and attempt to console him but (y/n) signalled for them to leave the room.

His sobs and pleads were painful to listen to.

There was so much pain…so much emotion.

He grasped at his chest as he continued to cry out all whilst slamming his fist against the carpet.

This time his wrath was far too much and it developed into something he wished his partner never saw.

Satan’s significant other knelt beside him and cupped his cheeks gazing deeply into his glassy lime hues. They then proceeded to embrace him and stroke his hair whispering, “You’re alright Satan. I’m here for you.”

“Y-you’re a liar! Stop lying to me!” He choked out.

(Y/n) tilted his head up in order to make him look in their direction and they softly spoke, “I’m not going to leave you Satan. Whatever is plaguing your mind you can share with me. I want to help you.”

He rested his head on (y/n)’s chest as they slowly rocked too and fro. “I’ll be here for you Satan always.”

Kissing his head they spoke, “I love you.”

The tears didn’t stop for a long time but they eventually dissipated as did Satan’s energy. He would surely be out of commission for a few hours, but that would be alright so long as he felt slightly better once he awoke