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this caption is killing me

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THIS is the mysterious artifact coveted by both the falmer and the nords

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“11 years in this rat-infested hole!”

–Valen Dreth revealing the length of his prison sentence. As a jail sentence is equal to one day for every 100 gold in a bounty in Oblivion, Valen Dreth’s criminal activities would have earned him a bounty of ~401,500 gold. A bounty this large would have required him to be caught picking locks or trespassing 80,300 times, caught pickpocketing 16,060 times, commit ~10,037 different assaults, escape from prison 8,030 times,  steal 1,606 horses, commit ~401 murders, steal valuables worth a total of 803,000 gold, or some combination of those activities.

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rurandil being fully aware that the world he lives in is a fabrication would be really funny if he lived in any world besides that of the elder scrolls. like what if your gay student councillor achieved CHIM.

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dragan bourne origin story

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nerevarine, youth eternal

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oh cicero, there isn't a thought behind your eyes (based on this)

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hail to the darkest parts of tes lore!

✺◟( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)◞✺

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Do you guys think The Tribunal sleep in one bed like the power puff girls?

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You know my "favorite" thing about the ever-widening gap between Skyrim and TES6? It's that, more than any of its predecessors, everything about Skyrim feels like it's setting up for TES6. Sure Morrowind mentioned the uncertain future ahead and had an easter egg teaser for Oblivion, and in turn, aside for a few mentions of dragonborn, Oblivion's ending set up that "There are troubled times ahead for the Empire. But now is not the time to worry about the future." but with Skyrim... with Skyrim you can feel the foreshadowing everywhere...

All the rumble about the Aldmeri Domion, the slow-but-certain crumbling of The Empire, the sundering of The Towers, everything seems to be building up to something big. Sure you stop Alduin, but even that is suggested to be momentary and he will eventually return. The dragons are still all over the place and their return seems to be regarded as more of a turning point than a momentary event. You don't actually SOLVE anything...

...and yet at this rate we may never know what all this is building up to because Bethany Esda got distracted by a handful shiny quarters.

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Playing unmodded Skyrim is so brave. Just freeballing your way through the game breaking glitches that Todd Howard never bothered to fix. It’s just you, Lydia, and the deafening silence of 2 dimensional followers with six lines of dialogue. Everything looks like shit and not a single NPC can function properly. Nazeem is there.

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DWEMER DWEDNESDAY MAKE SOME NOISE!!!!

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smallmalexia. vivec jr. sotha silly. the tiny tribunal

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I think the guy living under honningbrew meadery raising an army of skeevers and the feral vampire living in the volkihar undercroft who's taking control of a bunch of death hounds should kiss

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Ask me to walk on fucking water Malborn