#unlike Renji who let Rukia dress him

[berrymascarpone]

Akon’s first excursion to the living world

[pjinthestreets]

ok ok i know kubo sucks but hear me out. POST-[whatever arc ended the series it also largely sucked but i did read it. the quincy king situation]

this is a shipping headcanon post be ye warned

ichigo and orihime are married. they live w, and are simultaneously dating, ishida and chad. rukia and renji are married. they both hook up w the karakura ot4 but lets be realistic theyre dead and stuff so we’re talking weekend visits (rukia more often tbh)

NON-DEBATABLE: rukia and orihime obviously have a Thing thing. theyre in lesbians. rukia and ichigo are 100% soulmates, i think even people who dont Ship it recognize they love each other.

renji/ichigo goes without saying too i feel, the dick-measuring bro-yness does not stop from getting higher. im talking hooting and shoving each other up to and during buttsecks. when rukia is involved there’s a higher chance of serious vibes and tender momence but she does also laugh and goad them while they’re wrestling naked so you never know. shes been known to instigate mood-breaking silliness when shes nervous also

ishida/ichigo... same as w rengy honestly, the sexy rivalry is there. quite a bit closer n more tender w these two though the path 2 emotional honesty is paved with mutual avoidance lmao. the way they trust each other without understanding each other means a lot to me shut up.

i think ishida n orihime start dating each other before either of them confesses to ichigo lol, they bond over being into him and form a pact to get ichigo to notice At Least one of them. ichigo meanwhile doesnt even notice theyre dating much less trying to seduce him. ishidas making her cute dresses n shit hyping her up and martyrfully eating his heart out with gay yearning lmfao while orihime is like contriving situations for ichigo to hang out w them and be nice to ishida (which never work). i feel like ichigo kinda gets railroaded into going on a date w orihime which is like cool but confusing bc he... feels the same abt her as he honestly does abt ishida n chad so like?? maybe he doesnt Like Like her Like That? which, uh oh? and it takes orihime kinda spilling the beans abt the whole situation for him to be like oh. hell yeah then. can chad come too

chad and ichigo.... these guys were each other’s first love and you cannot change my mind lol. chad ichigo original otp chad ichigo for lyfe etc. while tatsuki was teaching orihime how to kiss these two were already emotionally bonded for life. you know ichigo saw him in a tank top for the first time and discovered his own dick the same night.

i think ishida has a big gay crush on chad thats not rly reciprocated, chad is  bemused by him although overall thinks hes pretty alright. that post thats like >i fell in front of a 6′2″ guy >he helps me off the ground >”silly little boy you should be more careful” >instant throbbing boner�� yeah thats ishida

i do think renji and orihime have Done Stuff in the context of rukia and ichigo foursome, but theres not like chemistry there imo they just end up Horny and sitting next to each other like so do we kiss now too or? ishida similarly doesnt have Vibes with rukia but finds renji annoyingly hot for how otherwise insufferable he is. especially funny when his whole thing is like ‘im an elegant and strategic problem-solver (not true) unlike you who is a monkey-brained idiot (more true)’ and they both end up in the same stupid situations together. chad meanwhile doesnt even participate in the rukia/renji group secks events, hes like ‘yeah im gonna go to the gym or something for a few hrs text me when i can come home’ hahaha

[recurring-polynya]

Renji Fashion Roundup pII

A while ago, I got asked to rank Renji’s fashion choices, and I already did Part I: Canon. It’s Renji’s Birthday (Aug 31), so here’s Part II: Anime Filler. There will also be a Part III: Openings and Endings, which contains the most cursed thing I’ve ever seen.

11. The “Mummy” outfit from the Halloween episode. It’s not even really fair to classify this as a “fashion choice,” the man is allegedly grievously injured and covered in bandages (which he uses as a weapon). I think he might have his hair in a ponytail and then taped down to his head, otherwise it’s way too short. The loincloth, tho, is mysterious, there is no reason he shouldn’t be wearing pants in this scenario.

10a and b. We all knew the hippy outfit from the Bount arc was going to be on here, but did you know he actually has two entirely separate hippy outfits? First off, let’s talk about the classic one. He has a terrible bucket hat, which he wears initially, and he carries around a guitar I assume he can’t play, like Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle. Let the record show that Ichigo’s teacher was into this look. Anyway, he got rid of the hat almost immediately and affected a pretty decent bandana, so points for that. The second hippy outfit comes from the Sealed Sword Frenzy OAV, which is tremendous, everyone should watch it (just search Sealed Sword Frenzy on YouTube). The bandana is worse, he has his wallet on a chain, he’s got some hemp bracelets, it’s bad. He stands up at some point and his pants are pulled up just way too high, but I blame the animators for that. Anyway, in case you couldn’t have guessed from the Chappy shirt, Rukia picked out this outfit. “I put him in it,” she states, ominously. Anyway, I love the Chappy shirt and he might as well go all in on those bracelets, play some hackysack, listen to some Phish, I give a slight edge to this version.

9. The Lamp Society Episode is the purest of all filler episodes. Renji’s-- excuse me, Ren Jin’s outfit is a disaster, but so is everyone else’s. I initially rated it low and then I said, you know, this thing really shows off his ab tatts, and his accessory game is on point (turban-esque headband, chunky bracelet and do not sleep on those pointy shoes). The puffed sleeves are Not Good and the pants are too big (but somehow not as big as Rukia’s???) Anyway, I think this outfit was supposed to be terrible, but the more I look at it, the more I think he’s really making this work.

8. Cop Renji. This is also from Sealed Sword Frenzy. He shows up at Ichigo’s house like this, carrying a shotgun, which he continues to use throughout the episode for some reason. Anyway, I am pretty sure this is not what cops wear in Japan, maybe he just watched the Untouchables? Anyway, by all rights, he should look awesome in a three-piece suit and he just...doesn’t. I think it’s the hair. Maybe also the sheriff’s star.

7. The Beach episode. Renji’s beach gear is...fine. I mean, a white tank top is a good, clean look for him, shows off his ink well. His trunks have ghost flames on them and...eh. I know, I lived through the early aughts, too, Renji. I am sorry I had to use the picture of Ikkaku’s butt, it was the only full-body shot I could find. Eh. I just feel like we deserved better. To that end, I have included a picture of the part where Yoruichi throws a dead shark on him. This episode is a disaster.

6. Reigei Arc BBQ. Renji has a different outfit he wears during most of the Reigei Arc, but they have a BBQ, and he gets dressed up for it. I am not really here for that satin jacket, he’s trying too hard, does it have 3/4 sleeves? Good footwear, though. Also, I cannot emphasize enough that he gets points for trying, unlike Ikkaku and Shuuhei, who look like they just got out of detention. Omaeda looks a lot like my boss here, and I don’t like it. Also, I need to stop looking at this picture, because I keep imagining Renji doing the clicky “just testing the tongs!” thing that you know you do, too.

5. So here’s the outfit he wears during the rest of the Reigei arc, and honestly, it’s pretty good. Most of his outfits are just variations on this. This is Classic Living World Renji, I guess. The pants fit more or less well depending on how the animators were feeling that day (note how many people in this shot have their hands in their pockets). Could do better on the bandana front, this is just laziness. This outfit would be rated higher, except that he’s wearing white shoes, what the junk, Renji? If you’re wearing a leather jacket, it is surely after Labor Day. Speaking of leather jackets, I am almost certain that Byakuya has an identical one in one of the closing themes and I can never decide if they have matching leather jackets, or if they just share, it’s not like B heads out to the World of the Living all that often. It’s actually kinda short on Renji, which points toward the latter, but I am so charmed by Byakuya being like “Renji, I have bought us jackets” and Renji goes just total star eyes and everyone else is just like “oh God, why is Squad 6 like this?”

4. At first, I actually thought he had three hippy outfits, but this is just what people wore in the mid-aughts, and that probably says something. Anyway, this is just, like, the warm weather version of the previous outfit. It has a better bandana and some good boots. Also, we get to see his arms. That vest is Really Something and once again, he has his wallet on a chain, but I think it still edges out those white shoes by a hair.

3. Ahh, now we are into the stuff that’s actually good. This is Renji’s New Year’s outfit, which he wears in both of the New Year’s episodes, and I think is a nice bit of consistency. I like it when he does a full-coverage bandana, and he’s got a  subtle earth-tones color scheme going on. He cleans up nice.

2. Look. LOOK. I always thought the cake episode was my favorite episode, but it’s not, it’s the one where Renji Makes a Movie. What you have to additionally appreciate is that this is not an outfit Renji put on to direct a movie, this is an outfit that Renji put on to portray himself directing a movie. He’s got some sweet aviators and he’s just thrown a bomber jacket on overtop his shihakusou. It’s terrible and I can’t get enough of it. I took a million screenshots from this ep and they are all the same. Also, he just exudes confidence this whole episode. Not his usually, overblown, “I’m infinity times stronger than you” fight hype. Nope, he’s just a fictionalized version of himself, telling Byakuya what to do, helping Rukia live out her Maid Cop dreams, humiliating Ichigo (who may actually die in this episode? the end is ambiguous). Another thing that’s ambiguous about this episode is whether there was ever a film festival to begin with, or if that’s just part of the conceit of Renji’s film. I like to think it’s the second, which implies that Iba put on a dog suit and Hisagi pretended to use a laptop because they wanted to help Renji live out his filmmaking dreams. Anyway, this episode is the Infinite Jest of Bleach, Rukia is Renji’s Madame Psychosis, Squad 6 is the Enfield Tennis Academy, I am going to stop now, nobody wants this.

 1. Holy smokes, Renji can really wear a pirate outfit. I was not expecting this. I had a spreadsheet of episodes I needed to look up, and I was like, Halloween episode, yeah, yeah--oh shit. The coat, the boots, the tricorn. I was utterly blindsided by how incredibly hot he looks here. I am pretty sure his hair situation is physically untenable, I don’t care. Even his weird anthropomorphic pineapple crew couldn’t dissuade me. I am mad that it was colored with dream sequence lighting so my screenshots are potato quality, this flashback is amazing, you should go watch it yourself (it’s episode 304). The upshot of this is where is my goddamn RenRuki Poldark AU, already?

I want to point out that I learned some stuff doing this, namely that Renji’s fashion sense isn’t actually that bad. Mostly, he likes to layer, and he owns a lot of jackets. Big same, my man. He wears a lot of purple, but I think it works for him. Also, a big fan of necklaces? So many necklaces. Regardless, in almost every one of these episodes, there was someone (usually Ichigo, often Chad), in something Much Worse. I think Renji just exudes bad fashion energy, leaving you with the vague memory that he can’t dress himself, when in fact, he’s basically fine, at least as far as actual episodes of Bleach go. Openings and endings are an entirely different story. Tune in next time.

[reiravermilion-blog]

Mr. President

A/N: the story will be in AU. Please don't kill me.

It was a rather sunny day in Karakura Town. Hearing the birds singing in the morning placed a smile on Y/N's face. The crisp air touching her skin was more than enough to put her back to sleep. And the cocoon she was in made it even better. Until..

"Y/N! Wake up! You'll be late for school!" Your Mom said.

Tsk. Why do I have to go to school. Its not like I'll use 3x+y when I buy groceries and stuff. Y/N noted to herself.

"If you're not here by the count of ten-" your mom was about to say something else when you said

"Alright, I'm up! Geez."

You went to the bathroom to have a shower. Picked out your uniform. Brushed your hair. Placed your notebooks and books inside your bag. Went downstairs for breakfast, bushed your teeth. Slipped on your shoes and went to school.

Timeskip~

You were walking in the halls on Karakura High when someone called you. "Y/N-chan!" You turned around to look for the person. When you saw a bubbly girl with a ginger hair (orange might be the right one though)

"Orihime-chan! Ohayo!" You said

"Ne, ne, Y/N-chan. Do you want to hang out tonight? I'll cook some food for us."

Y/N's POV

Orihime was asking me to hang out at her place tonight. The sound of her cooking made me happy and scared at the same time. I'm thankful that I have a friend like her. She's like my sister.I know that she has Tatsuki-san but another person making sure that she's fine won't hurt right?

"Sure. I'll go home first to change though. How does 5 sound?"

"Yey! Thank you Y/N-chan. Your the best!" She replied.

We we're having our usual talk, mainly about Ichigo. She's had a crush on him for the longest time now. But couldn't bring herself to tell how she truly feels.

Our talks went on and on until sensei came and the class started.

Timeskip~

Lunch time!

*ring*

Normal POV

Y/N together with Orihime, Rukia, Uryu, Chad and Ichigo went to the cafeteria to get some food. To their dismay they were greeted by the Japanese lunchtime rush.

Ugh. I hate this. Was all Y/N said. *thud*

Y/N hit her head against something hard, and breathing and somewhat warm. She looked up to see it and saw the student body president. And the resident heartthrob of their school.

"Ku- Ku- Kuchiki-sama.. Umm san. Kuchiki-san. Go- Gomen."

Y/N's friends were also shocked by the scene that they're currently witnessing. They've known for sometime now that you have a crush. Crush? Huge crush! On Byakuya. They didn't know what to do whether to help you or tease you.

"Oi! What do you think your doing to President Kuchiki?! Watch where your going. Tsk!" A guy with some weird face tattoo and long hair said.

"Renji, it was an accident don't make a fuss." Rukia butted out.

Ah, yes Abarai Renji was the Vice-President of the school and a fangirl? Of his beloved President.

" Hey, you can't help but have this kind of stuff when the place is too crowded. Just let us pass and we'll be on our way. Byakuya." Ichigo said

"Kurosaki Ichigo." Was all Byakuya said.

As your group head out you could see that some students were looking and some murmurs were heard. You looked back and saw Byakuya looking at the counter like nothing happened. You felt a pang of pain on your heart.

Why would he care anyway, I'm nothing to him. Nothing at all.

Byakuya's POV

I felt that someone bumped right into my body. I looked down and saw a girl with H/C locks and E/C orbs. For a moment it seemed that time had stopped. I just looked at her still trying to keep a straight face despite the fact that my heartbeat's getting a little faster. This girl. Y/N L/N. I know her because of my sister. I've seen her a couple of times now. At the school gate, the school grounds, underneath the cherry blossom tree when she just sits there and looks at the sky. Her hair dancing whilst the wind blows it. How her eyes sparkle when she smiles. And right now here at the cafeteria looking straight at me.

She apologized to me. She looked scared and flustered. Am I really that scary? I thought to my self. Renji came in. I didn't want him to. I just wanted to cherish this moment. Rukia said something and then came in Kurosaki Ichigo. Him. Of all people gets to be close with her. I hated it. He looks good with that girl who ruins food and calls it a delicacy. I know for a fact that we're already making a scene so we let them pass. I looked at their group as they head out. I looked at her again. She turned her head to look back so I pretended to look at the counter. It made me happy. And made me realize that I should do something already so I can address this feelings. I am a Kuchiki after all and I do everything to protect my pride. In which I consider her a part of it.

Timeskip~

*riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

Normal POV

" Finally, schools done!" Ichigo said.

" Kurosaki, you only enjoy useless fights that's why you find school boring." Uryuu commented

"Well, at least I enjoy fights unlike you, you only do things that girls do like that dress making stuff."

And the banter continues.

There you were sitting and still thinking about the little incident earlier at lunch. I'm so stupid for not looking at where I was going. You mentally slapped yourself. On the other hand.

How am I suppose to make her go to the student council's office? Lightbulb!

I know! Thanks to my source, a another person will have to hangout with that weird ginger head.

As you were heading towards the school gate someone grabbed you which made you squeak. You saw it was him. The man of your dreams (of our dreams) he pushed you towards the room. You were scared for your life. Is this it? Is this how I die? Kami-sama. Help!

"Byakuya-san" He was shocked when you called him by his first name. You saw his expression and immediately gave yourself a mental beating for addressing him with his first name.

"I- I mean Kuchiki-san"

Byakuya walked towards you. You took a step backward until you hit a wall. That's it you thought. Your going to die. You never even got a chance to say goodbye. To your mom your friends. Especially Orihime. Byakuya both of his hands on the wall.

"Look at me." You did. Your eyes met his. You try to hold a blush that might be deeper than red. Red itself might be embarrassed. "Kuchi-"

"Byakuya. Call me Byakuya."

You answered him with a nod.

"Do you need anything from me? Kuch- Byakuya-san?" Y/N asked.

"Yes I do."

"What is it?"

"You Y/N. You." You were shocked. This was to good to be true.

"You like me?"

"No." Huh? You thought.

" I don't like you." Y/N already about to cry. I didn't even confess and I already feel like I'm being rejected.

" I love you Y/N L/N"

Without hesitation Byakuya closed the gap. His lips crashed to yours. You closed your eyes to cherish the moment. It seems that time has stopped. It was amazing you felt amazing. No words could express how you feel. You broke the kiss for some air.

"I need to text Orihime." You said.

"Oh, I see telling the best friend the great news."

"No, silly"

Y/N-chan 👑:

I can't make it. Sorry. I sent Ichigo as my substitute. He's already on his way. Enjoy!

You turned your phone off and looked at the man in front of you.

"Now where were we? Ah, Yes. I love you too Mr. President."

That's it guys the end. I don't know I might've changed Byakuya's personality a bit. I don't know. I mean never know what's on his mind. So yeah this is a bit long than I expected. And yeah, please tell me the characters that you want a oneshot of.

Thanks for reading.