#unless you want more Ben then carry on

[stokesy55]

For every non cricket VK ask I get I will answer you with a picture of Ben

You have been warned

[vunblr]

The Weight of Choices

Pairing: Ex-husband!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ only. Smut. Unprotected sex, dirty talk, slight dom! Bucky. A little angst.

Summary: Torn between his instinct to protect his family and his desire to be a part of their lives, Bucky tries to deal with the reality of his ex-wife going on a date while he stays home caring for their son.

Word Count: About 8.9k.

He was late. If Y/n didn’t know better, she’d think he was doing it on purpose. Bucky had agreed to watch their son tonight so she could go on a date, the third one since their divorce two years ago. The last couple of times, she’d managed to find a friend to babysit, but Saturday nights were always tough. So in the end, she had no choice but to come clean and ask Bucky.

She could still hear his voice from that awkward phone call, his tone edged with surprise when she’d told him she had plans.

“A date?” he repeated, the edge of disbelief hard to miss.

"Yeah," she’d replied casually, but Bucky’s silence lingered longer than usual. He hated texting, so phone calls had become their norm, even for the smallest of things.

“With who?” His attempt to sound nonchalant fell flat, the tension threading through every word.

“Chris,” she said, keeping her tone light, “You know, the music teacher at the kindergarten where I work? Blonde, easy smile... we walked past him once when he was out with his dog, Dodger.”

Bucky scoffed, the bitterness in his voice unmistakable. “I knew it. I knew he had a thing for you.”

She rolled her eyes, exasperated. “Oh, please.”

“Every time I’d drop by the kindergarten, he’d just… linger. His eyes followed you the whole time like he couldn’t look away. People don’t stare like that unless they’re thinking something. And the way he’d smile, all soft and attentive, he was trying too hard to be just a ‘friendly co-worker.” His voice had dropped a notch, irritation creeping in.

“Are you serious?” she shot back, incredulous. But Bucky wasn’t done.

“How long’s this been going on?” The question came out more like an accusation.

“It’s our first date. You know I only recently started dating again,” she replied, her patience wearing thin.

He paused, clearly unsatisfied. “So what, he’s just been waiting for his chance, ready to pounce-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, James,” she interrupted, her tone firm. “You’re not entitled to know anything about my love life the moment you decided you wanted the divorce.”

There was an uncomfortable silence on the line. She could hear him breathing, the tension stretching between them, until finally, he sighed.

“You’re right,” he admitted quietly. “I’m sorry, that was out of line. I’ll take care of Benjamin on Saturday night.”

The recall of the conversation was interrupted by Ben, who wanted to show her what he did with his Legos.

Bucky had been sitting in front of the house for half an hour now. Sometimes, like tonight, he regretted what he’d done, but deep down, he knew it had been necessary. After the terrifying incident when Hydra agents attempted to kidnap their son, hoping to test if any of the serum’s powers had been passed down genetically, he realized that his past would eventually catch up with them. He had to make sure they were safe, even if it meant tearing apart everything they’d built.

He knew she wouldn’t understand if he told her the truth. If he had laid out his fears and his guilt and spiraled into a self-deprecating parade like he always did, she would have fought him and convinced him to stay. So he waited.

He knew the only way to make her believe it, was to weave in just enough truth to his argument, so, slowly he began pulling away, setting the stage for what would be his ultimate break. Late nights, distant conversations, an almost non-existent sexual life and missed moments with their son, all led to this. He needed her to see that the life they had wasn’t something he could carry anymore.

When the moment came, he didn’t hesitate. He told her he felt suffocated by their life together. That the roles of husband and father were more than he could bear after everything he had been through. She didn’t believe him at first, and he could see the determination in her eyes, the will to fight for what they had.

So, he played the card he knew would make her stop fighting him. He spoke of the years he’d spent as a puppet, how he had never truly known freedom, never had control over his life. He appreciated everything she had done for him, all the love and support she had given, but it wasn’t enough. He needed air, space to figure out who he was beyond the roles he had been forced into. He made it sound like staying with her, staying in the family they’d built, was just another form of captivity.

It crushed her. Bucky could see the moment her resistance faded. She believed him, not because she wanted to, but because he made it seem so real. So she stood there, heartbroken, but unable to argue against the logic he’d presented.

The first months after the divorce were hard on both parts. For her, that time was the hardest, filled with sleepless nights and the nagging feeling that Bucky had simply abandoned her, walked away from their life, their love, without a second thought. She wrestled with the confusion and the heartbreak, trying to piece together where things had gone wrong. For Bucky, it was a different kind of suffering. He bore the weight of his decision in silence, knowing he had walked away to protect them, but that didn’t ease the sting of loneliness or the guilt that gnawed at him.

Their lives moved on separately. They saw each other only in passing, and even that was rare. Bucky would pick up Benjamin directly from daycare once a week, dropping him off the next morning before heading back to his life, careful to avoid lingering long enough for awkward conversations. Sometimes he didn’t make it at all, missing his time with his son when missions pulled him away. Immersing himself in his work was easier than facing what he had left behind, the family he still wanted but couldn’t allow himself to have. Meanwhile, she did her best to create some normalcy for Benjamin, even as the space Bucky left behind echoed through their small home.

Even though their lives had drifted apart, Bucky never truly let go. He kept his distance, but never far enough to lose sight of them. Unbeknownst to her, he knew everything that went on in the household, the daily rhythms of their life, the way she struggled and adapted to her new normal without him. From the shadows, Bucky lurked unnoticed in the neighborhood, always keeping an eye on them. She never noticed, never had a clue that even when he was away on missions, he somehow knew when Benjamin caught a cold or when she had a rough day at work.

It was a secret vigil that gave him a twisted sense of comfort, knowing they were safe even if they no longer shared the same home. He would catch fleeting glimpses of her tucking their son into bed or hear his faint laughter playing in the yard. It was enough to remind him of what he’d lost, but not enough to bring him back to the life he believed he couldn’t have.

That was why Bucky was caught off guard when she mentioned her date with that guy, the music teacher. He never saw that coming. He had always known the man had a soft spot for her, could see it in the way he acted whenever she was around, how he lingered a little longer during pick-ups at the kindergarten, helping to manage the children even if it wasn’t his job, always with an excuse to retain her and talk. His body language was an open book. But back then, Bucky had dismissed him as harmless, barely giving him a second thought. To him, Chris had always been like a friendly Labrador: approachable, with no bite. A non-threat.

But now, that harmless Labrador had grown fangs. The guy wasn’t just hanging around the edges anymore; he was stepping in, taking her to dinner, moving into a space Bucky had once occupied. And he had no choice but to suck it up and watch it happen, watch her walk out the door with him. He could handle the distance, the brief moments of tension when they had to interact, but this? The idea of Chris sitting across from her at a candlelit table, making her laugh, holding her gaze... it twisted his guts.

And God knows what else would happen after dinner. Would Chris try to kiss her goodnight? Would she let him? Or worse, would they end up back at his place? His mind ran wild with the possibility of them taking things further, crossing a line he never wanted to imagine. Would she let him touch her in ways Bucky used to, let him see sides of her only he had known? He knew he had no right to feel this way, but it didn’t stop the thoughts from torturing him.

Eventually, he glanced at the clock and sighed, raking a hand through his hair. There was no point in torturing himself any further, he couldn’t postpone the inevitable any longer.

Reaching the front porch, Bucky hesitated for a moment. He straightened his posture adjusting his clothes, then knocked on the door. As he waited, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to shake off the tension.

When the door finally swung open, for a split second, neither of them spoke. Her eyes widened just a little, her lips parting as she took him in. It had been a long time since she’d seen him. His hair had grown back to shoulder length, a few strands falling loose across his forehead. A three-day stubble sharpened his jawline, in a way that made him look rugged and effortlessly handsome. And was he wearing that shirt? The red and black lumberjack one that used to drive her wild?

Bucky caught her reaction and hit him like a shot of adrenaline. When he exited the bathroom that night and picked what to wear, he told himself it was just practical, something comfortable to wear while watching and playing with Ben. The cologne? Just a habit. But deep down, a part of him knew the truth: he wanted her to notice, and that split-second when her eyes widened, scanning him from head to toe, told him everything. She noticed. She definitely noticed. And something about that felt like a victory, even though he wasn’t supposed to be playing that game anymore.

He stared at her longer than necessary, his blue gaze drifting over the black dress she wore. New, he realized. It hugged her body in all the right places, accentuating her curves in a way that was impossible to ignore. The hemline? Too short for his liking. He clenched his jaw slightly, knowing full well Chris would be thrilled to see her like this.

Forcing himself to snap out of it, Bucky cleared his throat and broke the silence. “Hey,” he said, his voice low and calm, though the tension still simmered beneath the surface. “You look... good.” He meant it, but the words tasted bitter.

"Thanks," she said, her tone polite but distant, deliberately choosing not to compliment him back. She lingered for a moment, then added, “You’re late.”

Bucky flinched inwardly at the remark, though he kept his expression neutral. "Traffic," he muttered, stepping inside as she moved aside to let him in. An awkward silence settled between them, the air thick with things left unsaid.

Her fingers toyed with the edge of her dress as she cleared her throat, trying to fill the silence. “Ben is in the bathroom,” she said, her voice casual, but there was a tension beneath it. “You can wait for him in the living room.”

“Right,” Bucky replied, nodding stiffly. He walked past her and into the living room, the space feeling both familiar and foreign at the same time. He took a seat, trying to shake off the strange energy between them, but his mind kept wandering back to the fact that she was dressed for someone else.

A moment later, the doorbell rang, and she turned toward the sound, visibly relieved. She opened the door, and Bucky heard Chris’s voice, a cheerful greeting that she surely responded to with a soft, warm smile. Bucky didn’t need to see it, her tone was different with him, softer, more open.

“Hey,” Chris said, his voice bright, though there was a subtle shift when he paused. There was a beat of silence before he added, “You look amazing.”

Bucky couldn’t help it. Something pulled him from the couch, and before he knew it, he was standing in the hall, watching the interaction from a few feet away. His eyes narrowed as he observed Chris, sizing him up instinctively. Chris was taller than he remembered, clean-cut in a casual but neat button-down shirt, his easy smile faltering just a fraction when his eyes darted past her, catching sight of Bucky standing there.

Chris’s brows furrowed, but he quickly masked his reaction, giving Bucky a curt nod. “Uh, hey,” he greeted awkwardly, glancing between them.

It was her turn to narrow her eyes. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw him. Bucky stood at the edge of the hallway, staring directly at Chris, his expression unreadable. His eyes locked onto the man without blinking. He wasn’t moving, wasn’t saying anything, just staring.

Inwardly, she rolled her eyes. Really? A display of male dominance, here and now? After everything he’d put her through, the mess he’d made of their lives, he suddenly decided he had the right to act territorial? What exactly did he think he was entitled to? The nerve of it sent a wave of irritation through her, tightening her grip on her coat.

But what frustrated her even more -what really troubled her- was that a part of her didn’t mind. Beneath her annoyance, something stirred, deep and undeniable, lurking just beneath the surface. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but his presence still had a hold on her. Maybe it didn’t bother her as much as she wanted to believe. Maybe, despite everything, there was still a part of her that reacted to him, to the way he watched her, the way he used to make her feel like the center of his world.

Before those feelings could rise any further, before she could let herself dwell on what they meant, she quickly turned back to Chris. She forced a bright smile, pushing away the conflicted thoughts swirling in her mind.

“We should get going,” she said, her voice light, pretending not to notice the tension still hanging in the air. She stepped closer to Chris, signaling it was time to leave, hoping to put some distance between her and the weight of Bucky’s gaze.

As the door clicked shut behind them, Bucky stood frozen in place for a moment, the tension that had gripped him not easing, even with their absence. The quiet of the house felt heavier now, pressing down on him. His chest tightened as he stared at the closed door, half-expecting her to walk back in. Of course, she didn’t.

His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he replayed the scene in his head: her standing there, beautiful and confident, and Chris… that guy was so normal, so easygoing. Exactly what she deserved. Exactly what Bucky could never be. He raked a hand through his hair, frustration bubbling to the surface. What was he even doing? He had no right, he was the one who walked away. He was the one who made her believe she wasn’t enough to keep him, that he wanted out. And now, here he was, silently raging because she was moving on, exactly like he supposedly wanted.

Stupid. That was the only word he could come up with to describe how he felt. Stupid for showing up looking the way he did, stupid for thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could still affect her. But what for? His job was to protect her and their son from the shadows, not to stand in the doorway, playing the part of some jealous lover. But God, it hurt more than he expected.

He crossed the living room, his steps heavy against the floor, and slumped into the couch. The house was eerily quiet, save for the faint sound of the TV in the background. Ben was still in the bathroom, probably playing with the liquid soap and making a mess, unaware of the tangled web of emotions his father was caught in.

The hours slipped by, though Bucky barely noticed at first. Benjamin was beyond excited to have his dad all to himself for the evening. They played, joked, and built elaborate lego fortresses, the boy’s laughter filling the house with a warmth Bucky hadn’t realized he missed so much. For a little while, he was able to shove everything else to the back of his mind. Being a dad, just a dad, felt like a relief. But every now and then, his gaze would drift to the clock on the wall. He couldn’t help it. As much as he tried to stay in the moment with his son, there was a lingering pull, a constant, nagging thought of where she was.

After he’d put Ben to bed, Bucky’s mind wandered back to the date. The image of her in that black dress haunted him, the way Chris had looked at her, the possibility of what might have happened after dinner. His thoughts spiraled, even though he knew it was none of his business anymore. He poured himself a scotch, the amber liquid swirling in his glass as he tried -and failed- to push the thoughts aside.

Eventually, the sound of the front door opening cut through the quiet. The familiar click of her shoes against the entryway tile echoed through the house, sharp and distinct. She was home.

Bucky didn’t move. He stayed where he was, seated at the old teakwood table, nursing his scotch. The only light on in the house was the dim glow above the kitchen, so she’d find him.

The sound of her footsteps grew closer, and he listened intently, his heart beating just a little faster despite his best efforts to keep calm.

She entered the kitchen, her steps a little less steady than usual, mumbling a soft “Hi” as she made her way inside. Bucky glanced up, immediately sensing that she was a little tipsy. She didn’t meet his eyes, just plopped down in the chair next to him with a tired sigh. “God, my feet are killing me,” she muttered, kicking off her heels and wincing.

For a while, the silence stretched between them, broken only by the distant hum of the fridge. She sighed absentmindedly, then reached for his glass of scotch, taking a sip without asking. He was taken aback by the casual intimacy of the gesture, but he said nothing, just watched her as she leaned back in her chair.

Before he could stop himself, the words slipped out. “Want me to rub your feet?” He froze. He couldn’t believe he’d said it, half-expecting her to snap at him or give him one of her sharp retorts.

But instead, she surprised him. She looked over at him, her eyes tired but soft, and then shrugged. “Yeah...” she said, her voice a little more relaxed than he expected.

Bucky blinked, caught off guard by her response. His heart thudded against his ribcage as he moved toward her, kneeling down in front of her chair. His fingers hovered hesitantly over her ankle before gently wrapping around it, lifting her foot onto his knee.

As he began to knead his thumbs into her sore muscles, the tension that had been brewing in him all night seemed to ease, just a little. Her head lolled back against the chair, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

He couldn’t believe he was doing this, touching her again in this way, after everything. He shouldn’t, but she didn’t seem to mind. If anything, she seemed to relax more as the seconds passed, letting her guard down in a way that felt dangerously familiar.

“So... how was the date?” Bucky’s voice was quiet, almost too casual as he broke the silence.

Her eyes fluttered open at the question, and for a moment, he thought she might brush him off or remind him that it wasn’t his business. But instead, she gave a small shrug, her tone indifferent. “It was fine.”

Bucky frowned slightly, pressing his thumbs a little harder into the arch of her foot. He wasn’t sure if it was frustration or something else pushing his hands. “Fine?” he echoed, trying to keep his voice even.

“Yeah,” she murmured, closing her eyes. Her voice was soft, almost distracted. “Just... fine.”

He wasn’t satisfied with that. He couldn’t help himself, he pressed, his tone still light but with a thread of tension beneath it. “Only... fine?”

She sighed, her eyes still closed as if trying to keep the conversation from getting deeper. “What do you want me to say, Bucky?” Her voice wasn’t sharp, but there was a subtle edge in her words. “That it was amazing? That he swept me off my feet? Some dirty little details?”

Bucky’s fingers stilled for a moment, resting against her foot as he met her gaze. He didn’t respond right away, unsure if he even wanted to hear the truth, whatever it might be. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly, his voice a little more vulnerable than he intended.

“It was just fine, nothing more, nothing less”

A silence settled between them, but he wasn’t ready to let it drop. “Are you going to see each other again outside work?” he ventured, his hands slowly moving up her shin, his touch hesitant but growing bolder. The fact that she didn’t push him away emboldened him further. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Bucky’s hands continued their slow ascent, fingers brushing over her calf and then her knee, his touch firm but careful. When she didn’t pull away, he felt his pulse quicken. The silence stretched between them, thick with the weight of things unsaid.

“In a way,” she finally answered, her voice elusive, a touch distant. She shifted slightly in her chair, subtly parting her thighs as his hands wandered higher. The movement was small, but enough for him to catch it. His breath hitched, and his gaze flicked down to her legs before rising back up to her face, darkening with lust.

"Care to... elaborate?" he pressed again, his voice lower now, rougher. His fingers slid up to her inner thigh, lingering there with a possessive grip as if testing her reaction. Her legs instinctively spread wider beneath his touch, and that simple motion sent a rush of heat through him.

She shifted slightly, as if searching for the right words. "He’s... nice," she finally said, her voice a bit breathless under his touch. "He’s thoughtful, considerate, makes me laugh…” Her lips twitched in a small smile, but it quickly faded as she looked down at his hand resting on her thigh. “He’s... good.”

Bucky’s thumb paused, pressing a little harder, as he leaned in closer, his voice barely above a murmur. “…And?”

She sighed, her eyes opening again to meet his intense gaze. “And… he’s not you.”

His grip on her thigh tightened involuntarily, his breath catching in his throat. He’d pushed her away, done everything he could to sever the ties between them, convinced himself it was for her protection. But now, hearing her admit that, it sent his head spinning.

“He’s not you.”

The room seemed smaller, the air heavier, as the tension between them crackled like electricity. His hand inched higher, dangerously close to where he could feel the heat radiating off her body. Every instinct in him screamed to close the distance, to take what he wanted, to forget everything that had led them to this point. But he forced himself to stop, his gaze locking onto hers, searching her face for any sign that she would tell him to stop.

She didn’t. Instead, she held his gaze, her breathing shallow as if waiting to see what he would do next.

Bucky’s grip tightened again. Fuck it. He leaned forward, pressing his face against her other inner thigh, his stubble grazing her skin as he inhaled her scent deeply, a growl rumbling in his chest. She tensed, feeling him nip gently at her sensitive flesh, and then a slow, deliberate lick followed, sending a shiver through her.

"Did he behave, or..." he paused, his tongue teasing the same spot before he looked up at her, his lips brushing her thigh as he continued, "...things got handsy?"

A gasp escaped her when she felt his mouth so dangerously close to where she wanted it most. Her head tilted back just slightly, her body betraying her as desire pooled in her belly. His eyes flicked up, meeting hers, their blue depths darkened with lust, and something more. His lips remained pressed against her skin, refusing to budge until he had his answer.

"You let him touch you?" His voice was a husky whisper, laced with jealousy.

She exhaled slowly, her breath shaky as the memory flickered through her mind. "Yes," she admitted, her voice low, reluctant. "But just briefly, when we ki—"

Before she could finish, Bucky’s hand shifted, moving up to cup her mound, his fingers pressing firmly against the damp fabric of her underwear. Her words died in her throat, a sharp intake of breath replacing them as his touch ignited a fire that spread through her veins. His hand was deliberate, unapologetic in the way it claimed her, the heel of his palm pressing against her pussy as if he had every right to be there.

"And then?" His question hung in the air, but she couldn’t find the words immediately.

Her lips parted as she finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to feel something... but I didn’t. I just didn’t."

Her confession landed between them like a spark to dry wood, setting the tension ablaze. Bucky’s hand remained where it was, but his thumb stroked over the wet fabric, teasing her, testing her resolve as his gaze bore into hers. She had said what he needed to hear, what he craved to know, and now, there was no turning back.

Bucky’s thumb slid the fabric of her underwear aside, his fingers unhesitating as they slipped between her folds, finding her slick with need. He brushed upward, just barely grazing her clit, watching with dark, heavy-lidded eyes as she gasped at the contact. Her body arched involuntarily, but he didn’t relent, keeping his movements slow and deliberate, teasing her just enough to drive her crazy but not enough to give her what she craved.

“And…” his voice was low, rasping against the tension between them, “how long did it take you to realize you’d had enough? That it wasn’t going to work?”

His thumb circled lazily, making her hips shift forward, chasing the friction he barely offered. The question hung in the air, laced with his possessiveness, through every word. He didn’t wait for an answer, his fingers delving deeper inside her, coating themselves in her arousal before they moved back up, brushing over her clit again, this time with more pressure.

"One kiss?" His lips curled in a half-smirk as he watched her face contort with pleasure. He dipped his fingers inside her again, slow, dragging them out just as leisurely. "Two?"

She trembled, unable to form a coherent response, the sensation of his touch overwhelming her senses after so long. Her breath hitched as his fingers increased their pace, every stroke purposeful, designed to unravel her. Bucky leaned upward, his lips brushing the shell of her ear as he murmured, “How long, doll?” The way he said it, like a dare, made her heart race even faster.

Her head fell back, her body betraying any attempt at control as she whispered breathlessly, “One…”

A satisfied growl rumbled from him, his fingers rewarding her honesty with a firmer stroke, sending her spiraling closer to the edge.

It wasn’t fair. He had cast her aside, almost without looking back, tearing her world apart with his cold departure. And now here she was, grinding her pussy against his fingers like some desperate, needy whore, begging for more. A part of her wanted to slap him, to shove him away and scream at him for every sleepless night she spent wondering why she wasn’t enough, why he had thrown their life away so easily. She wanted to tell him how much she hated him for walking out on them.

But then, there was that traitorous side of her. The part that had never stopped hoping. The part that had always waited, held out some foolish, silent hope that he’d come back. That she’d see that flicker of warmth in his eyes again, the one that told her she was his entire world. And it wasn’t just her heart that longed for him, her body had missed him, too. She hated herself for it. For still thinking about him late at night when she touched herself, fingers slipping between her thighs as his name slipped from her lips in the darkness.

And that same traitorous side of her had ruined her date with Chris. She’d tried to be present, to laugh, to be charmed by his warm smile and thoughtful gestures. But all night, all she could think about was Bucky.

The way he’d looked at him, cold and assessing, as if he didn’t belong there, his presence filling the hallway like he still had some claim to it, to her. What was he trying to prove, anyway? That he was still the man of the house?

She hated how, even while Chris was talking, her mind drifted back to the feeling of Bucky’s fingers tracing his stupid shirt, her memory filling in the rough, familiar feel of his hands on her skin. And she knew, even if she couldn’t admit it aloud, that some part of her had wanted him to see her dressed up, to feel in some small way the longing and ache she’d carried in his absence.

And maybe that’s why she’d felt nothing when Chris had leaned in for a kiss, why his gentle smile and soft touches had felt hollow. Even his laugh, light and kind, hadn’t stirred her because it wasn't Bucky’s rough, rumbling chuckle or his stupidly confident grin. Bucky, in all his infuriating ways, still occupied every corner of her mind.

Her breath came in shallow gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly as his fingers worked her closer to the edge. She wanted to be angry, to let that rage consume her, but every time she opened her mouth to say something hurtful, to lash out at him, her body betrayed her. Every roll of her hips against his hand, every needy whimper that slipped from her throat, reminded her of just how much she had missed this.

It wasn’t fair. But she couldn’t stop.

With a light pinch on her swollen clit, the tension snapped, and she came hard on his fingers. Her mouth fell open, a moan escaping as her body convulsed, riding the wave of pleasure that coursed through her. The world blurred around her as her climax took over, her hips grinding against his hand, chasing every last second of the release.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, a mix of the overwhelming pleasure and the emotional storm swirling inside her. A few finally escaped, rolling silently down her cheeks, but before she could turn away, Bucky was there, his lips brushing them away with surprising tenderness. His breath ghosted over her skin as he whispered soft, comforting words she could barely make out, something about how beautiful she was, how good she had been for him, as if they hadn’t been tangled up in all this pain and heartache.

His touch was almost reverent as he slowly withdrew his fingers, slick and glistening from her release. Their gazes met, and he didn’t break eye contact as he brought those same fingers to his mouth, licking them clean with deliberate, agonizing slowness. He stood up in one fluid motion, effortlessly lifting her from the chair by the waist as if she weighed nothing, and in a swift, controlled movement, he placed her on top of the table, positioning himself between her legs.

Before she could even process it, his arms were around her, pulling her into a bear hug that was both tight and needy. His face buried itself in the crook of her neck, his breath warm against her skin as he inhaled deeply, taking her in.

He held her as if letting go was not an option, his grip firm yet strangely vulnerable. The way he clung to her felt like both a claim and an apology, urgent -almost broken- like he was holding onto her not just physically, but emotionally, too.

“Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll leave,” he murmured against her skin, his voice rough and low, the words vibrating against her neck. He didn’t dare look at her, not yet, because if he did, if he saw doubt or rejection in her eyes, it would break him.

Silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Each second felt like an eternity. His breath was uneven, ragged, as he waited for her to say something, anything. Another moment passed, tension coiling tighter in his chest until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He lifted his head, his gaze searching hers, bracing himself for the worst. But instead of the words that would send him away, he saw her eyes flicker downward to his lips. It was brief, a split-second decision, but it was enough.

So he leaned in, cautiously at first, like he was testing the waters after years of distance. His lips brushed against hers softly, almost hesitant, as if afraid this fragile moment would break apart. But the second she responded, it was like a dam broke. His hands cradled her face, deepening the kiss with desperation. It was messy, all-consuming, there was no gentleness, no tenderness. This was not the careful, delicate dance of two people testing the waters. This was hunger, a ravenous need to reclaim what had been lost. His lips moved down to her jaw, her neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, and she moaned softly, her fingers tightening in his hair as he sucked on the sensitive skin below her ear.

His hands gripped her waist, strong and possessive, pulling her closer until her body was flush against his. The need to feel her, to claim her, was overwhelming. It was like two years of silence, longing, and frustration had ignited in an instant, everything that had been pushed down now surging forward, unstoppable.

“I’ll ask you again, babydoll. Are you sure you want this?” Bucky’s voice was thick with restraint, the tension in his muscles barely contained as he hovered over her, his breath hot against her neck. He was giving her one last chance to stop this, to pull away, even though every fiber of his being was screaming for her. But instead of words, her answer was a quiet, deliberate motion. Her hand slid between them, deftly unbuttoning his jeans, her fingers brushing against the outline of his erection.

A low growl escaped him, and his hand shot down to catch her wrist, halting her movements. His gaze met hers, dark and intense, his chest heaving with barely restrained desire. “I need you to say it,” he murmured, voice rough, on the edge of control.

“Yes,” she whispered.

That was all he needed.

Without hesitation, he pulled his shirt over his head in one swift motion, not bothering with the buttons, his muscles flexing as the fabric slid off. The moment his skin was free, he didn’t give himself time to think. His eyes locked on hers as he grabbed the neckline of her dress. With a sharp tug, the fabric tore easily under his grip, the sound of it ripping filling the air. The dress fell to her waist, exposing her bare breasts to his gaze.

“Hey! It was brand new, you know?” she protested.

“I noticed,” he replied, his fingers grazing the tattered edge of her dress. “But you didn’t buy it to wear it for me, did you?” His voice dropped, thick with jealousy as he alluded to her date with Chris. He dipped his head, his lips hovering just above her exposed skin, his breath warm against her chest. “I don’t want it on you”. He latched his lips onto her nipple, his tongue swirling with a hungry need, while his vibranium fingers pinched and teased her other breast. His breath was hot against her chest as he whispered between kisses, “You have no idea how much I’ve missed this... missed you.” His words came out rough, full of longing that he couldn’t hold back any longer. “Every night... thinking about touching you again. Tasting you. Making you come over my cock.”

Her body responded, arching into him. She bit her lip, trying to stifle a moan, afraid that maybe Ben could hear her, but it slipped out anyway.

His hands moved to her thighs, gripping them firmly as he let out a low growl. “I thought about this, over and over... how you’d feel under me, how you’d sound when I made you scream my name again.” His voice was thick, hoarse, as he tugged at her dress, tearing the fabric completely until it was nothing but rags on the floor. He didn’t stop there, his thumbs slipping under the waistband of her flimsy panties. With a swift tug, the seams gave way, tearing effortlessly in his hands. He brought the soaked cloth to his nose, inhaling deeply, groaning as if the scent alone was enough to drive him insane. “God, I’ve missed this,” he muttered, his eyes never leaving hers. He flicked his tongue against the ruined cloth, savoring the taste with a low, hungry growl.

Without warning, he tossed the panties aside. His hands moved quickly, unbuttoning what remained of his jeans and kicking off his shoes before sliding the denim and underwear down in one fluid motion. They hit the floor with a soft thud as he stepped toward her. “Tell me how much you missed me,” he demanded softly.

She stared at him, drinking him in. He looked leaner, his body sculpted in sharp lines of muscle. He’d lost weight, surely by going mission after mission mixed with his poor eating habits. He was never good at taking care of himself. She almost missed the small paunch he used to have these last years, the one he hated, but she’d loved to bite. There was something comforting about that softness, but now he was the embodiment of raw strength.

Her gaze drifted lower, lingering on the sight of his cock, standing at full attention. She swallowed. Apparently, her memories failed to measure up to reality. He was big, sure, she’d always known that, but this big? Her core tightened with need, clenching in raw anticipation.

"I missed you,” she breathed, her voice barely a whisper, laced with longing as her eyes lifted to meet his. “So much… you have no idea. God, you’ve ruined me.”

Her words shattered whatever restraint he had left. He’d imagined, countless times, that if this moment ever came, he’d take his time, savor her, and make it last. But now, faced with her beneath him, so close and so ready, patience was a luxury he no longer possessed.

Without a second thought, he gripped her thighs and spread her wide on the table, lining himself up as he dragged the head of his cock along her entrance, coating himself in her slick heat. In a swift, desperate thrust, he drove into her, hard and deep, filling her completely as a ragged groan escaped his lips.

She cried out, her body responding immediately, arching into him as he slammed into her again. His hands gripped her hips with bruising force, and his own moved in a relentless rhythm, every thrust driving him deeper. He couldn’t stop. Her moans spurred him on, her words circling in his head like a drug.

“Ruined you, huh?” His breath was ragged as he pulled almost all the way out, teasing her with the loss, before slamming back in. “Let me remind you how much.” With a raw hunger that had been bottled up far too long, Bucky's thrusts became brutal, each one driving her back along the table, her nails scraping against the wood as he took her over and over. The grip on her hips was iron-hard, pinning her down so she could do nothing but take everything he gave her. He leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear. “Think anyone else could ever do this?” he murmured, his voice dark and rough, each word punctuated by a powerful thrust. His lips ghosted along her jaw, and he pushed her to answer, knowing the effect he was having on her. “Tell me,” he demanded softly “Could anyone else make you feel like this?” He wanted her to say it, to make her admit that no one else would ever satisfy her the way he could.

She whimpered, clutching at his shoulders as he pounded into her, her nails digging into his skin as he pushed her higher and higher. “No… no one else.” Her words were broken, barely audible over her moans, but it was all he needed to hear.

“That’s right” he murmured against her lips, his voice low and rough, “No one else gets to touch you like this,” he breathed, each word laced with raw possession as he thrust deeper. “Only me,” he rasped. “Only I get to make you feel this way.”

He growled, one hand leaving her hip to slide between them, his fingers pressing down on her clit in quick, merciless circles. “This is mine,” he hissed, metal fingers working just enough to bring her close before pulling away, only to return just as she thought she couldn’t take any more.

She cried out, her body writhing beneath him as he drove her to the edge. His pace never faltered, his hips grinding against hers with a relentless rhythm, and his grip on her only tightened as she arched off the table, his name spilling from her lips like a prayer.

"Say it," he demanded, his voice thick with lust and something darker, something possessive. His hands slid down the back of her thighs, pushing her legs up against her torso as he plunged deeper, she could barely breathe every time he bottomed out. The way he hit her, the pressure at her cervix, sent shockwaves of pleasure-pain coursing through her, each one making her mewl helplessly. Her thighs shook against his chest, her hands desperately clutching at his forearms, fingers digging into his skin.

He leaned in closer again, his face inches from hers, his lips brushing her ears as he growled, “Tell me you’re mine.”

"I’m yours… fuck, Bucky!" she complied, her voice breaking between her panting breaths.

"Again," he ordered, his hips slamming into hers, the table creaking under the force of his movements. He could feel her walls clenching around him, so tight, so wet, he almost lost control then and there.

“I’m yours,” she whimpered again, her voice shaky, breathless.

“Chris will be so disappointed to hear that” he growled. “Let’s make sure you stay ruined, just in case.” He was relentless now, fucking her hard, deep, his body pressing hers further into the table as he pushed her thighs harder against her body giving him even better access, hitting that sensitive spot that left her gasping, his grip and the relentless pace leaving no room for anything but the sensation of him filling her completely, over and over.

She whimpered in response, too overwhelmed to speak, her entire body tensing as the pleasure became almost unbearable. His thumb moved between them again pressing against her clit, rubbing circles that sent sparks of heat shooting through her. She gasped, her eyes squeezing shut as her orgasm built rapidly, her body teetering on the edge.

“Milk my cock.” he ordered, his voice harsh, primal. His words pushed her over the edge and then she was gone, her body shivering violently as she clenched around him, her thighs tightening around him as her hands fisted in his hair, pulling him closer. The sound of his name fell from her lips, half-whisper, half-cry as the climax gripped her, intense and all-consuming, leaving her a trembling, breathless mess.

“I’m gonna fill you up,” he growled through gritted teeth, his hips snapping into hers with bruising force. “And then some more,” he rasped, his voice thick with raw need. “You won’t even be able to keep it all in, babydoll.”

With a final thrust, Bucky’s head fell back, a deep groan rumbling from his chest as he reached his climax. His body trembled, muscles tensing as he spilled himself inside her, a heated wave of release filling her completely. He held her there, his cock kept pulsing until his release overflowed, warm and thick, beginning to trickle down, pooling beneath them.

Still buried inside her, Bucky loosened his grip on her thighs, hands sliding down to cradle her waist as he leaned forward, his forehead resting gently against her shoulder. He nuzzled into the curve of her neck, breathing in her scent, grounding himself as the heat of their union slowly ebbed, replaced by a quiet intimacy that neither of them seemed prepared for.

After a moment, he gently eased himself away, untangling their bodies but letting his hands linger at her hips, as though afraid to lose the connection. He took a step back, his gaze dropping for a moment before lifting to meet hers, hoping she’d break the silence but she didn’t look at him, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

Bucky’s chest tightened, a familiar pang surfacing as he watched her withdraw inward, her mind elsewhere despite the intimacy they’d just shared. Finally, she spoke, her voice low, tentative. “So… what now, Bucky?”

He took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “I don’t… I didn’t plan for this to happen,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper as he forced himself to hold her gaze. “I know I shouldn’t have done this. Not after…” He hesitated, but the truth slipped out anyway. “Not after what I put you through.”

Her eyes narrowed, suspicion clouding her expression, old wounds resurfacing. “Then why did you put me through this, Bucky?” she asked, her voice soft but laced with pain. “You said you couldn’t do this. That you needed space, that we were holding you back.” Her words hung heavy in the air, each one a quiet accusation tinged with vulnerability. “And now, you’re here, acting like…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “…acting like you never left.”

He hesitated, knowing this was his chance to finally tell her the truth or let her keep believing the lie he’d used to protect them. He rubbed a hand over his face, then lowered it, meeting her gaze with raw honesty. “I didn’t leave because I didn’t want you,” he murmured, his voice trembling. “I left because I was afraid that my past... everything I tried to bury might come back to hurt you. Hurt him.” His voice softened. “I thought if you believed I didn’t want this life, it would keep you safe.”

He glanced down, his hand twitching at his side before he looked up again, his voice hushed but resolute. "But… I want to come back,” he admitted, the words raw, like they’d been buried deep for too long. “To the house. To you, and Benjamin.”

A chill lingered in the air, and she wrapped her arms around herself, gaze flicking over their scattered clothes still strewn across the kitchen floor. She looked away, her shoulders tense as she rubbed her temples. "So, what’s changed, Bucky? The risks are still there, the same threats, the same fears..."

Bucky’s gaze didn’t waver, his hand reaching out as though to touch her, but he stopped short, fingers brushing the edge of the table instead. "What’s different is me. I’ve had time to face what I couldn’t before. Stepping aside didn’t keep you safer; it just kept me away. I don’t want Ben growing up with a dad who keeps him and his mom at arm’s length. Almost a stranger.” His voice softened, the vulnerability seeping through. “Being apart from you doesn’t make things better. I miss you, doll. I miss us.”

“You can’t just leave and come back like nothing happened, Bucky.” Her voice was softer this time, almost breaking. “I wanted you here… every day, every night. Not just for me, but for Benjamin.” Her voice trembled with raw vulnerability.

He took a step closer, his hand hovering near hers, unsure if she’d pull away. “I know, and I hate that I ever thought leaving was the answer.” His tone was low, his gaze steady on her.

She looked down, her throat bobbing as she swallowed, emotions tightening her expression. “If you come back, I need to know you’re here to stay,” she whispered, the words more for herself than for him. “Because I don’t think I can go through this again… and I won’t let him either.” Her voice cracked on the last word, her hands gripping the table harder as if to keep herself grounded.

Her words shattered the last remnants of his restraint. Without another thought, Bucky dropped to his knees in front of her, the hard tile digging into him as he pressed his forehead against her thigh. She sucked in a breath, her hand instinctively moving to his hair, fingers trembling as they brushed against him. He could feel her hesitation, the walls she’d built so carefully to guard herself from the ache he’d left behind.

“Say yes,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, thick with the vulnerability he could no longer hide. “Say yes, doll. I know I don’t deserve it.” His hands gripped her hips, anchoring him as if she were the only thing keeping him steady. “But I swear,” His voice cracked, raw and pleading. “I swear, I’ll never walk away again. Not from you, not from Benjamin.”

She looked down, a mix of shock and pain written on her face as she saw him there, broken, open, begging her for something she’d once offered so freely. Her hand gently settled on his cheek, and he leaned into the warmth of her touch, feeling the softness of her fingers against the rough stubble of his jaw. The ache in her eyes nearly undid him, but he stayed there, his forehead still pressed to her thigh, his breath heavy, waiting.

Her eyes searched his, and slowly, her resolve began to waver, the smallest flicker of trust finding its way back into her gaze. "Then prove it," she whispered, barely trusting herself as her hand lingered against his cheek, the warmth of her palm seeping into him. "Show me you’re here to stay."

After her words hung in the air, a fragile silence between them, Bucky’s gaze dropped. He swallowed, his hand reaching for something inside the scattered clothes on the floor.

From his back pocket, he drew out a small, well-worn leather charm, a little star-shaped pendant, its edges smoothened from years of handling. She recognized it immediately. It was something she’d passed on to him when he left for his first mission after they married, a symbol she hoped would keep him safe. She thought it had been lost long ago, like so many pieces of them.

He held it out to her, and the look on his face was raw, vulnerable in a way she hadn’t seen since the early days. “I never stopped carrying this,” he murmured, his voice rough and thick. “Even when I tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing by staying away. I couldn’t let go of you…of us. I kept it close, hoping… hoping someday I could come back and give it back to you. I know it doesn’t make up for the time I lost, but…” His voice faltered, the sincerity there unmistakable.

She stared at the pendant, her hand shaking slightly as she reached out, fingers grazing the familiar leather. All the memories it held, the late-night goodbyes, the whispered promises, the hope she’d once tied to it, all of it rushed back, filling the space between them.

She looked down at him, seeing in his eyes the weight of the years, the regrets, but also the glimmer of the man she’d fallen in love with.

Taking a shaky breath, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “This… this was supposed to keep you safe, Bucky. Keep us safe.”

“And it did,” he replied softly, his hand covering hers over the charm. “It kept you here.” He paused, his voice barely a murmur. “And maybe now… it can bring me back home.”

The last of her defenses wavered, and she felt herself letting go of the anger, the hurt, all the pieces that had kept them apart. “Maybe… maybe it was always meant to guide you back here,” she said softly, her eyes meeting his with a warmth he hadn’t seen in years. “So if you’re really here to stay… then welcome home, Bucky.”

Dividers by: @strangergraphics

[tvseries-writings]

We care about you

Maya x Carina x reader (Amelia is reader’s bff)

Prompt: Reader has a car crash with Carina’s car and she feels so guilty that she refuses to go to the hospital and it’s not the best choice.

TW: car crash, seizure

When you open your eyes, your first thought does not go to the probable concussion you gave yourself, nor to the poor light pole you knocked down. No, your concern becomes the car: the Carina's very expensive and beautiful Porsche that you have just crumpled against a stupid pole that you could very well have avoided, had the road not been wet. Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the driver's door, yours, suddenly opening.

"Miss, miss can you hear me? Y/n?"

Vic's face appears in front of you, and as soon as he notices it's you, her gaze changes from a calm and placid one to one quite panicked.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to call Maya and Carina?"

Vic unbuckles your belt, intimating you to stay still while she checks you over. She feels your legs, asking if you can feel them. You nod. By the feel of the pain in your ribs, you probably have one or two cracked if not broken ribs, blood is pouring out of your nose since the airbag exploded in your face, and most likely the deep cut on your forehead indicates a more serious concussion than you would have liked but you don't care. The only thing you care about is the car, and right now you really have no other concerns besides.

"Were other people involved?"

"No, just a poor pole. But I don't think it will complain. We need to get you to Grey's Sloan. Montgomery, Warren! Give me a hand, we-"

"No."

Relief floods you as soon as Vic confirms that no one else besides you was involved in the accident. You know full well that it could have been worse, yet you refuse to go to the hospital, you won't let anyone waste time because of your stupid mistake. Carina's car...you destroyed it, the Italian loves that car and you literally crumpled it for her.

"Y/n, you know you have to go to the hospital. Maya and Carina would kill me if they knew I didn't take you to the hospital...please don't make me carry you or call them."

You shake your head, immediately regretting it as soon as you do when a twinge in your head makes you squint in pain.

"No, Carina is going to kill me as soon as she sees what I've done to her car..Vic, you don't understand. She loves this car more than anything, she went to pick it out with Andrew as soon as she got to Seattle-" a sob involuntarily escapes your mouth as your body is shaken as more follow. Tears line your cheeks and though you want to stop them, you really don't have the strength.

"Y/n, Carina loves you more than a stupid car...she won't care if-"

"No Vic, you don't understand, I don't want to go to the hospital, please, please, I can't look at Carina and tell her that I destroyed one of the things that reminded her of her brother. Please Vic, take me home, don't take me to Grey's Sloan. Please."

You plead with her and see her struggling internally with herself, even turning a glance over her shoulder where Ben and Travis, having heard it all, are struggling in the same dilemma as she is. Then, Vic shakes his head and you decide that you have just chosen which battle to fight, at least for the next few minutes.

"I'm sorry y/n but we need to get you checked out and Grey's Sloan is the closest. I'm really sorry."

You shake your head, tears continue copiously to line your face, and the adrenaline slowly begins to fade, making your head feel lighter and your chest feel heavier.

"No Vic, this is not your choice. I am conscious and aware of my actions, legally you have no right to transport me anywhere unless I have harmed other people."

You use your best lawyerly tone, the same tone you use in the courtroom and see them exchange a look and then nod.

"You're right, legally we can't force you but we can call Maya and Carina, y/n."

You grit your teeth; this was an option you had not calculated but, instead, you come up with an idea that is better than the others and will probably save you from going to the hospital. As they say, if Muhammad does not go to the mountain then the mountain will go to Muhammad.

....................................................................................................................

"Thank you for coming."

Amelia shakes her head, a look of disapproval quite legible on her face.

"Well, when your best friend as well as roommate for a good six years of college calls you and tells you she's been in an accident, it's hard not to check in on her."

You smile at her, and before you can try to speak, she's asking you rapid-fire questions.

"Have you lost consciousness? Have you had any dizziness? Altered vision?"

Amelia pulls a small light from the breast pocket of the lab coat she is still wearing before pointing it in your eyes.

"I'm fine," you close your eyes, instinctively turning away from that blinding light.

"Mm yeah, no. You're not all right. Now be still and stop saying you're fine."

Amelia holds your head still, probing multiple places for some kind of bump and glancing at the gash on your forehead.

"This cut needs stitches and you need a CT scan. Oh and you still haven't answered my questions, don't think I forgot."

When Vic notices that you don't answer, she does it for you.

"When we arrived she was unconscious and was unconscious for about three minutes while we were there and soon after she recovered she had trouble recognizing me so I wouldn't rule out visual changes."

Ladies and gentlemen, the traitorous bastard Victoria Hughes.

"Hospital, now. No discussion. I remind you that between the two of us, I am the doctor and also one of the best."

You sigh, shaking your head a few times or at least trying to, as Amelia holds you firmly in place.

"I don't even think about it Amelia, not-"

You stop suddenly, a high-pitched ringing in your ears not allowing you to hear whatever Amelia is saying and then, your pupils rotate back and your body is suddenly shaken by convulsions and everything goes dark.

....................................................................................................................

It is Amelia who takes you to the hospital, with Warren by your side as they check your vitals all the way to Grey's Sloan while Vic and Travis brush all speed limits in order to get their captain's girlfriend and great friend to the hospital as quickly as possible.

After administering Diazepam, fortunately the seizures have stopped and Amelia is squeezing your hand, as if to let you know she is with you.

"Everything will be fine, stay with me y/n. It's all right okay? It's all right. I'm here, I'm here with you."

In less than five minutes, your unconscious body is quickly brought through the doors of the emergency room at Grey's Sloan.

"Female, 25 years old, car accident. Unconscious for three minutes, probable head injury. She had a seizure episode before entering the ambulance; diazepam was administered. She has been stable ever since."

Vic says, before leaving you in the hands of Dr. Teddy Altman, who rolls her eyes as soon as she recognizes the woman lying on the stretcher.

"Y/n? Do Amelia, Maya, and Carina know?"

The neurosurgeon sighs, shaking her head and slipping on gloves and a sterile gown to carefully examine how severe your head injury is.

"Damn it, Schmitt, call Dr. DeLuca. Warren, alert your captain. I can't believe you guys didn't say anything, those two will kill you."

Warren swallows before nodding and pulling out his phone.

"What was I supposed to do? This idiot didn't want to and I remind you she's a lawyer, she knows her rights very well. We need to do a CT scan on her, Schmitt did you reserve the room?"

"Y-yes Dr. Shepard and Dr. DeLuca is coming. I told her that her partner had been in a car accident but I didn't have time to tell her that she was okay that she had already shut me down."

Teddy pinches her nose between her index finger and thumb, sighing in exasperation.

"Schmitt, did you even check that she wasn't operating?"

The resident looks at her embarrassed before shaking his head.

"No ma'am, I-"

The boy doesn't have time to finish the sentence that a worried Italian doctor enters the emergency room, nearly bursting through the doors.

"Where is she? Is she okay? Teddy tell me she is fine-"

The Italian woman suddenly stops, noticing only then your pale, unconscious body on the crib in front of the two doctors and the resident.

Caria quickly approaches you, stroking your forehead and being careful not to graze the cut before turning to Amelia as they move to the exam room to have you scanned. "What happened?"

Although she is addressing the neurosurgeon, her eyes do not leave your figure, and her hand does not detach from yours.

"She lost control of the car and drove into a light pole, the airbags deployed, which caused her to have a massive nosebleed, and a head injury. She had a seizure episode before we brought her in."

Carina gasps as she hears the last sentence.

"Has she woken up since then?"

"No."

The Italian closes her eyes, aware that this is not a good sign and praying that you have not suffered more damage than she initially expected.

As they prepare you for the CT scan, Amelia and Carina being the only ones in the room, Carina decides to ask Amelia one of the questions that came to her mind as soon as she noticed the neurosurgeon standing next to you, slightly sweaty in the face and aware of all the information from your journey from the accident site to the hospital.

"Why were you with her in the ambulance?"

"She called me; she was afraid you would be upset about the car and didn't even want to go to the hospital. She said she would report us if we took her, I doubt she would have done that and I would have done it anyway but you know, Vic and Warren weren't too keen on taking the risk. And then he called me so that they wouldn't take her to the hospital and they wouldn't call you or Maya."

Carina shakes her head as she and Amelia tuck you inside the machine, before exiting the room.

"You idiot, I don't care about the car. All I care about is that she's okay."

"I know Carina, I tried to reason with her and then...well, she had the fit. It will be fine Carina, she is a fighter. She will come back to you. She loves you too much to leave you."

Carina nods, chasing back tears as she looks at the monitors in front of her, waiting for the results of your CT scan.

The Italian gasps as she feels two powerful arms embrace her and hold her close.

"It will be okay love, Warren told me what happened. She will be fine, otherwise how could we give her a good telling off for how much she was considered?"

Maya kisses her wife's shoulder, also looking at the monitors despite not understanding anything written on them. They both sigh, looking at Amelia waiting for good news.

...........................................................................................

When you open your eyes, for the second time that day, you realize you've fucked up again. The cold white walls of the hospital room you are in are proof of that. You try to move your head to the side, to look around, but a twinge in your neck puts you off. You recognize Maya's warm grip in your right hand and the Italian's wavy hair caressing your stomach as the latter sleeps peacefully.

You give the fireman's hand a squeeze and a gentle caress to the Italian's face. Carina wakes up, crinkling her eyes and looking at you surprised, happy and worried at the same time.

"Bella, how are you feeling? Are you okay? I'll call Amelia..."

Carina speaks frantically, not even realizing she is speaking in Italian, and as she reaches toward the button to call the nurses, to the right of your bed, you fuss her wrist, turning a smile to her.

"I'm fine and before you call anyone else I...I have to tell you how sorry I am Carina. I'm so fucking sorry. I know how much you cared about that car and I'm so sorry, I wanted to try to fix it before you knew it...although I don't know if it can be fixed and-"

Carina hears the beeping sound getting louder and louder; she turns to the monitors and when she sees how fast you are breathing and your heart rate, she knows you are having a panic attack.

"Bella, love, it's okay. It's okay love, I'm not mad. I don't care about a stupid car, Andrea will always stay in my heart; I care about you, Bella. The car will buy back but you worth more than anything, do you understand?"

You keep breathing fast; the throbbing pain in your head does not allow you to think clearly, and unfortunately, Carina's words come to you so muffled that they have no effect on you.

The chaos around you makes Maya suddenly wake up; it takes the blond firefighter a few seconds to figure out what is going on and to join his wife in trying to drag you out of the panic attack.

The blond climbs onto the bed, sitting right behind you and holding you in her arms despite you trying with all your might to free yourself. Carina, on the other hand, kneels in front of you, taking your hands in her own.

"It's okay love, it's okay. Breathe, listen to my heartbeat" Maya whispers in your ear, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

"Follow my breath Bella; that's it, good, keep it up."

In less than ten minutes, the incessant sound that resonated in the hospital room is replaced by a soft, steady BIP. Your chest hurts and you rub it hard, to ease your pain, before a hand forces you to stop.

"Hey, hey, you're going to hurt yourself if you keep this up. Do you want me to call a nurse to give you something?"

You nod, closing your eyes and waiting for the nurse to arrive. Carina reaches out to press the button before immediately returning to hold your hands. Maya continues to leave kisses on your neck and face as you continue to keep your eyes closed.

Contrary to what you expected, it is not a nurse who enters the room but Amelia.

"Hey rock star, you're awake. What's wrong? Do you have a headache? Dizziness?"

You nod, opening your eyes and looking into her eyes. A small smile ripples your lips as your best friend walks over to your bed and hugs you.

"You had me worried idiot."

The neurosurgeon pulls away from the hug before giving you a weak punch on your right arm.

"I'm sorry."

Amelia shakes her head as she sticks something into your IV.

"This is a painkiller, not too strong but it should ease your pain. Call me if there is any problem. I'll be back later to check how your head is; I know you have a hard head but it's always best to be cautious."

Before you can even insult her for the joke she just made, Amelia sneers her way out of the room.

"What an idiot," you shake your head, rolling your eyes. Your body begins to relax as the medication kicks in.

"So will you tell us why you didn't go to the hospital right away? You know how dangerous a head injury can be and you still decided to not go to the hospital right away. It was stupid and reckless and you can't, you CANNOT do that with your health. Ever again."

Maya looks at you sternly, with her ‘’Captain's look’’, as you and Carina call it.

"I'm sorry Maya, I know you are angry and I understand why but my only thought was only the car and the fact that I had destroyed one of the things Andrew had given Carina."

Maya holds you close and Carina joins your embrace.

"No physical thing or not, none, will ever be worth as much as your life y/n. And don't ever have a seizure over it again, am I clear? A car will never be worth as much as you are to you and me, ever. I don't care if I have to throw it away, I don't care if I have to buy another one. I care about you and your health so don't ever pull that crap again because if you had the crisis while you were alone, at home, after getting dropped off there, then it could have ended really badly and I, we, need you to understand that Bella."

Carina strokes your face gently; some tears line her face and you promptly wipe them away. Maya leaves a kiss on your cheek, holding you close.

"Car is right love, you really scared us today and when I think about the fact that we could have lost you I..." Maya shakes her head, her voice breaking and you turn to her, pulling her into a kiss.

"I'm sorry Maya, I'm so sorry I...I won't do it again."

You hug and hold each other tightly, you know you fucked up but now that Carina has calmed you down the relief you feel is priceless; therefore, you enjoy the embrace and that warmth you love so much as the medication slips you back into sleep.

Thank you so much for reading! Sorry, I know it is not the best so excuse me… I will try to improve. Have a great day!

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[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Daddy’s Girl

Dean Winchester & daughter!reader

Synopsis: your life growing up as Dean’s daughter (ignores cannon)

You were born of Dean’s short-lived relationship with Lisa. When he was forced to leave his family behind to keep them safe, he was also forced to take you with him. He’d wanted to leave you, to keep you safe, but with Lisa and Ben’s memories wiped of him, you got wiped with him.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel said as Dean held you in his arms. “There’s no way to erase you without erasing her, too.”

Despite how much Dean wanted to keep you safe, he couldn’t find it in himself to regret how things turned out.

…

Sam pursed his lips, and Dean couldn’t hold back his laugh when he spotted his brother covered in broccoli.

You started giggling when you noticed your father’s smile, but Dean clamped his mouth shut when he saw you laughing.

“Hey now,” he scolded, trying desperately to look stern despite still being able to see the broccoli in Sam’s hair. “Don’t throw food.”

“Is yucky!” You whined, kicking your feet.

Dean gave you his signature ‘dad glare’ and you gave him the puppy eyes that he was convinced Sammy taught you just to drive him nuts.

Neither of you were willing to give in, far too stubborn for anyone’s good. Finally, Sam broke the awkward silence.

“How about we try a new veggie?”

…

“What are you watching?”

Dean tore his eyes away from the screen to see Sam standing in the doorway.

“Saw, why?”

Sam scoffed, “Do you think she’s old enough for that?” He gestured to five-year-old you, curled up in your dad’s arms.

“She’s out like a light, she has no clue what’s going on,” Dean assured him.

“So what, she’s your new stuffed animal?” Sam chuckled.

“It’s called parenting, Sammy. Now shut up, you’re gonna wake her up.”

…

“Daddy, look!”

Dean rubbed his hands over his face, closing the lore book in front of him when you came bounding into the war room.

“Hey baby, what’s up?” He asked, his voice thick with exhaustion as he lifted you into his lap.

“I maked the Impala,” you grinned, showing off a pencil sketch of Baby colored in with a black crayon. “Uncle Sammy only helped a little.”

Dean could tell from the detail of the drawing that Sam helped more than a little, but he didn’t care.

“This is great!” He praised. “Baby would be so proud, looks almost as good as her.”

You giggled. “Can I hang it on the fridge?”

“I think it’d be a crime if we didn’t,” Dean insisted, standing up with you in his arms so he could carry you to the kitchen.

…

“Dad!”

Dean staggered back in surprise when ten-year-old you launched yourself into his arms the moment he stepped into the bunker.

“Hey kid,” he chuckled, but his smile dropped when he noticed your strangled breaths, and how tightly you were clinging to him. “You ok? We weren’t gone that lon-“

“Someone’s in the bunker,” you whispered, and Dean now also noticed that you were shaking.

“What?” He demanded, lowering you to the ground and grabbing his gun with one hand, keeping his other hand on your shoulder protectively.

“I-I heard footsteps,” you stammered, still trying to catch your breath. “So I ran, and-and I was looking for a place to hide when you opened the door.”

“You’re sure it was footsteps?”

“I know what I heard!” Your stammer left you when your fear turned to annoyance.

“Ok, ok,” Dean soothed. “I believe you. Now, I want you to go and hide in my room, ok? Stay there, and don’t open the door unless it’s me, understand?”

“B-but…” you glanced around nervously, unwilling to let go of your father.

“I need you to do this,” Dean said. “I need you safe, ok? You’re gonna be fine.”

You nodded, but Dean’s jacket was still clenched between your fingers.

“C’mon now, go!” Dean gave your arm a gentle push, and as soon as the two of you were no longer touching you seemed spurned into action. You ran in the other direction, headed straight for your dad’s room.

Once the door was closed and locked behind you, you immediately went to sit on Dean’s bed, your arms wrapped around your knees as you tried hard to stop your trembling.

You assured yourself over and over again that your dad would take care of it; he’d get the intruder out, and it would all be ok. When you heard footsteps echoing through the hall, your heart lifted, sure that your dad was coming to get you.

But then the doorknob jiggled as someone tried to open it. It stopped, but still no knock came, no “hey, it’s me,” from Dean; nothing.

Until with a loud bang! the door flew free of its hinges.

You scrambled back with a cry of surprise, and your hand found something hard under Dean’s pillow. You snatched it up as the intruder—a tall man with blond hair and a dark suit—stalked towards you.

You lifted the object, surprised when you saw that it was Dean’s gun.

“St-stay back!” You warned. The man hesitated for only a second before continuing his advance towards you.

“You don’t have the guts,” he scoffed. He took one more step—he was only a couple of feet away—and reached out to grab you.

The gun kicked back in your hands as you fired, and you nearly dropped it. A look of morbid shock crossed the man’s face, but it only lasted for a brief second as he slumped to the ground at the side of Dean’s bed.

Your whole body was shaking. Your hands didn’t seem able to let go of the gun. You could feel blood on your face where it had splattered.

“Sweetheart?”

Your whole body flinched at the sound of your father’s voice. He was in the center of the room—you hadn’t even noticed him come in—and his hands were held out towards you.

“Sweetheart, give me the gun.”

Your hands went limp when Dean grabbed the gun. He tossed it onto his bed, his attention never leaving your face, which was turned towards the dead man on the floor.

“Hey, Y/N, look at me,” Dean demanded. Your eyes slowly found your father’s, afraid of what you might find there. But there was no anger, or judgment, not even surprise. There was only comfort, maybe a little worry.

“Let’s go,” Dean said, lifting you into his arms. When he saw you staring at the dead man, he cradled the back of your head in his hand and pushed your face against his shoulder as he carried you out of the room.

“I killed him.”

Your voice came out muffled against Dean’s shirt, and Dean’s heart constricted at the quaver in your voice.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he soothed, subconsciously rocking you in his arms like he used to do when you could barely crawl. “He was gonna hurt you, you defended yourself. You did nothing wrong.” Dean sighed. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I didn’t want you to have to do that.”

“I killed somebody,” you said again, and Dean’s arms tightened around you. He knew he couldn’t talk you out of this; not yet, you were still in shock. So he’d do the only thing he could.

“It’s gonna be ok, baby,” he soothed. “I promise.”

…

“Where is that girl?”

“You lookin for Y/N?” Sam asked as Dean wandered around the bunker.

“Unless we’ve got another girl living here I don’t know about,” Dean shot back.

Sam just rolled his eyes.

“She’s in the library doing homework.”

“Again?” Dean shook his head. “I think I’ve let her spend too much time with you, she’s becoming quite the nerd.”

“Don’t look at me,” Sam chuckled. “I told her to take a break like an hour ago. That nerdy behavior is all her.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Dean closed the book in front of Sam. “You both need a break.”

“Ok,” Sam shrugged. “Good luck, she’s just as stubborn as you.”

“We’ll see.”

…

“Hey!” You yelped in surprise when your dad lifted you up and out of your chair, Sam watching from the doorway with a grin on his face.

“No more books, you two have spent too much time being nerds this week.”

“But I have a paper to write!”

“You mean that paper you told me is due in three weeks?”

“Well…”

“Uh huh,” Dean said. “You’ve got time, so take a break.”

“On one condition; we watch Lord of the Rings.”

“Sounds good to me,” Sam cut in.

“Oh come on,” Dean groaned. “Could you two be bigger nerds?”

“Don’t pretend that you don’t want to watch it,” you giggled, trying to squirm out of Dean’s hold since he still hadn’t put you down.

“I don’t remember asking for your input,” Dean huffed, setting you down on your bed and digging his fingers into your stomach. You squealed in surprise as your dad tickled you. “And I certainly didn’t ask for your sass!”

“Who-who do you thin-think taught it to me!” You giggled, squirming as Dean didn’t let up.

“Hey now!” Dean scoffed. “Now you’re just asking for it.”

Dean continued to scratch and poke at your sides, your stomach, and your neck until your face was bright red and your laughter was silent.

“Alright, let’s go,” Dean said as he let up, slinging you over his shoulder and making his way towards the Dean cave, Sam following behind.

“Yo-hou’re mean,” you giggled.

Dean just chuckled.

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl

[velvrei]

for jay from descendants, i want a smut bc he’s so scrumptious- sooo him and reader have been fwb for at least a month, and one day after jay’s tourney game it feels different? SMUT PLS LMFAO tysm i’m in luv your writing 💋

omg YES i’ve been wanting to write for him, also if your request hasn’t been posted yet i’m going down the line! sorry for the wait <3

benefits

pairing: jay x reader

fandom: descendants

summary: jay & the reader are friends with benefits but one day after tourney everything changes

warnings: smut, switch!jay if you squint, oral (m receiving), pet names, somewhat pda, no sex but it’s still filthy

nsfw below the cut .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

usually jay wouldn’t see himself as much of a sexual guy. that was, until he met you.

when you were first introduced to him, by ben, there was obvious chemistry. he was the “bad boy from the isle,” while you were the “good girl from auradon,” (which wasn’t true at all) but you couldn’t help but notice how he got nervous whenever you entered a room. he was basically head over heels for you.

there was even one time, where you overheard him masturbating and he was saying your name. that was what got you.

so that quickly turned into something, flirting, and teasing each other. then you both discussed it one night after mutually masturbating with each other, and you both agreed to become friends with benefits.

you were sat at his tourney game realizing how far you both had come, literally.

you watched in awe as he scored the game winning goal, making you smile as he was lifted up by his teammates and the whole crowd started cheering.

the group carried him into the locker room, cheering, and your smile stayed displayed on your face.

a couple minutes later, you felt a nudge at your shoulder, turning to see evie.

“i saw you staring at him. the whole game.” she spoke with a giggle, wrapping her arm around you. you rolled your eyes and smiled, “he’s hard not to look at. i was just watching the game.”

evie scoffed. “whatever you two got going on, friends don’t look at friends that way. go convince him! the worst that could happen is that he rejects your offer and you continue fucking occasionally.” evie laughed.

you smiled at her, “okay, fine.” you quickly ran to the locker room and made sure all the other guys were out. jay was the only one in there, you could tell, he was humming a deftones song as he washed his body.

you watched, trying not to giggle as you slowly started took off your clothes. you were fully undressed as you walked over to him and he turned, saw you and jumped.

“you almost gave me a heart attack!” he spoke with a laugh, holding his hand over his heart. “why are you in here!?” he whisper yelled, remembering where he was.

you smiled, “you won, jay, i’m here to celebrate. remember what i said earlier?”

jay felt his cheeks get hot, remembering what you said. “that if i won i would do whatever you wanted me to?” you nodded and wrapped your arms around his chest, hugging him and gently placing your lips onto his.

“what’s it gonna be, captain?” your words made him smile, and immediately get hard, “i don’t know, maybe you should kiss me first.”

as cliche as he sounded, you could never resist his touch. your lips smashed onto his, his hands roamed to your waist, using his hands to apply force and push you against the wall. he was always more aggressive when he was hornier.

your tangled your fingers in his soft, raven hair, smiling into the kiss as tugged and he gasped into the kiss, then moaned.

you slowly pulled your lips away, earning a small whine from him. he stopped and watched as you slowly got onto your knees. “baby…” he trailed off, as if he didn’t want you to.

you shushed him, “don’t even start, love. unless you don’t want me to…” you started to slowly stand up. he stopped you.

“no, please do. i just don’t want you to feel like you have to. that’s all.” he spoke. his words made you smile.

he watched as your face changed, and you smiled, completely changing your whole demeanor.

his mouth fell slightly open as you spoke, “baby, i like pleasing you. especially when i get to hear those pretty sounds you make. gets me wet every time. fuck my throat. do whatever you want to me.” his hips practically buckled as you spoke. he rested his head on the shower wall, “fuck, okay.”

he tried not to melt as he felt you run your tongue the underside of his cock, looking up at him with doe eyes as he swore loudly, his voice slightly louder than before.

you moved your tongue along his tip many times until his hips stuttered, “fuck. i’m sensitive, please,” his pants only made you more eager to tease him.

jay wasn’t normally one to beg, but when it came to you, and he was extra horny, he loved letting all his filthy little words fall from his mouth.

“be patient, baby.” you spoke. your hand gripped firmly, very slowly pumping his cock. his slit was leaking with precum, he was already so worked up by you.

he watched carefully as your lips wrapped around his tip, you kept pumping him but this time at a faster pace. “fuck, feels so good,” he managed to mutter along with his whimpers and pants.

you started to bob your head on him, resisting the urge to moan as he moaned. the realization was sinking in. the hot guy in front of you, was moaning and whimpering because of your mouth. you couldn’t imagine anything hotter.

he looked at you with half-lidded eyes, he was already a moaning mess and she knew he wouldn’t last much longer. he had a thing for being dirty in public and he also just loved the sight of you on your knees for him.

“keep stroking it while you suck it baby… i’m so close, fuck.” his voice was almost slightly high pitched, the whine he let out after added the affect.

you bobbed your head faster before holding your head at the base of his cock. he practically lost his breath, “oh fuck, you want it don’t you.” he said, throwing this head back. he moved his hands to the back of your head and held it there, keeping him at the back of your throat.

he started thrusting his dick in and out of your throat, practically using you as his way to release. “i’m cumming, oh my god!” his whine sent shivers straight to your core.

he held your head as he came tensing up before he shivered and loosened his grip after his high came to its end. you swallowed all you could, a few drops leaving your mouth and washing away with the water into the shower drain.

jay was still out of breath, shivering as he realized what just happened. “are you okay? did i hurt you? i’m sorry-” he immediately began to ramble, realizing how much his arousal took over.

“that was so hot,” was all you said as you stood up. jay sighed and watched as you just smiled at him, no sign of hurt or discomfort in your expression.

he pushed your wet hair behind your ear, “are you sure i didn’t hurt you?” he used his other hand to softly lift your chin.

you shook your head, “no, my love. i actually enjoyed that.”

jay sighed and stepped out of the shower. he grabbed your clothes and handed them to you before he got dressed himself.

when you were dressed, he turned to you with a grin.

“how about you let me take you out on a real date?” you could tell he was nervous, his hands were shaking, could’ve been from the breathtaking orgasm he had not even two minutes ago, he was still out of breath, and when he tied his towel around his waist he failed twice before actually tying it.

you smiled, ready to tease him again, “are you asking me that because of the blowjob or because you like me?”

jay rolled his eyes, “because i like you, y/n. you know you don’t always have to be so difficult and demanding.” as he finished his sentence his towel fell down once again.

you couldn’t help but giggle, “well, you seem to like it when i’m demanding, you were moaning at my words not even 2 minutes ago.” you slowly walked up and him and ran a hand through his hair, “handsome boy.”

his dick hardened immediately as he watched her walk away. “goddamnit, y/n!”

[the-s1lly-corner]

What its like hugging the creepypasta characters

jeff and ben and toby are the only ones written as strictly platonic but the others can be seen either or! kind of wanted to do something easy for creepypasta characters (+ masky and hoodie) since i missed writing for these bozos </3 that said requests for creepypasta are open so crp fans go ham! return to this blogs roots! rah! written more as a rating as well as how it actually feels to hug them and not really a scenario that leads to you guys hugging yk?

SLENDERMAN:

very tall and skinny, maybe even boney. im still trying to decide if slenderman/slenderbeings have internal organs/bones/ect... though i can say that slenderman is fairly cold. hes not ICE cold, but hes noticeably cooler than your average person. can adjust his height to better suit his needs, so you dont have to worry about literally climbing him like a tree if you want to give him some affection... likes wrapping some of his tentacles around you during an embrace. not bone crushing, but not... well now its hard to explain, he seems odd with affection, not too sure how long or how tight to hold you... but hes learning! 7/10 love him, my tall wife

SPLENDORMAN:

very similar to slenderman in the regard that hes also very skinny and tall, though i do think hes just a teeeeeeny tiiiiiiny warmer than his brother! not by much but its a noticeable difference! loves lightly swinging you around before tugging you close to his chest, sometimes sways a little while holding you! holds you a little tighter than slenderman does. perhaps even nests his head on top of yours when you guys hug. honestly i can see him having a habit of just picking you up and carrying you around, platonic or romantic it doesnt matter, hes going to do it unless you express that you dont like it... 8/10 due to him being a little less cold (emotionally and physically)

EYELESS JACK:

now this ones ice cold, like youre going to need to bundle up if you want to cuddle up next to him since hes going to just snatch the heat out of you in a few minutes. admin personally hcs him to be on the shorter and thicker side, so theres that at least! very soft! generally not the type to seek out affection, though, so youre going to need to step up and initiate a lot of that stuff. not that he doesnt want it, he just doesnt really think about it all that much + he may or may not fear taking a bite out of you. shrugs... though i like to think that despite that, he can give some solid hugs! 6/10

LAUGHING JACK:

very warm, always seeking attention and affection from you so hugs are not in short supply. sometimes purrs when you guys hug, and similar to splendorman hes going to swing you around a bit.. though sometimes he gets too into it or too excited and it comes off more as thrashing you around. probably when hes feeling a little sillier than usual he pokes his cone nose into your cheek (gently). wraps his arms around you, like. totally around you since his arms can stretch and they dont really have.... bones... you know? probably sometimes hugs you from behind, typically after sneaking up behind you/poofing behind you from his smoke thing 8/10, would say 10/10 but i think he might accidentally crush you to death

MASKY/TIM:

not... very.. good at hugs. at most youre going to get one of those side hugs from him, at least when hes awake. sometimes when you two cuddle and he falls asleep, hes wrapping his arms around you and locking you in to his chest. normal body heat, maybe a little above average, but nothing too insane since hes still a human... hmm... doesnt really give those two armed hugs unless hes sleeping or you were just in danger. adrenaline and fear can do a lot to someone, you know... 6.5/10 masky gets a higher score than EJ since hes warmer

as for tim, hes a little more open to giving you affection, i think! while masky only really does it when you ask, i like to think that tim might be more likely to do it unprompted! likes resting his head/chin/jaw on your shoulder or head, depends on the height difference! 7/10

HOODIE/BRIAN:

i think in general i tend to type hoodie as a touch more open/social than masky.. masky tends to be a little... eh... he expresses stuff less than hoodie, at least in my take. shrugs. i do think hoodie likes to hug you from behind when youre doing something. very tall, personally hc him to be roughly 6 feet tall. neither buff nor skinny, have some pudge. generally very comfy, plus his hoodie is sometimes nice and soft, sometimes warm if you've managed to get him to wash it! likes swaying you a little while he looks over your shoulder to see what youre doing, only occasionally letting go to sign something to you.. 8/10

brian is more or less the same, but hes verbal so his hands are staying put on you. i also think hes a little bolder and more willing to just hold you whenever, let that man be affectionate with the reader! if this is romantic he likely puts his hands on your hips.. also 8/10

TICCI TOBY:

very affection starved, i think, but he also doesnt really initiate anything due to a deep rooted fear of rejection. so youre going to need to take the lead here! skin and bones, very cold since skinny people tend to be colder (at least in my experience with hugging!). when you guys do hug he does tend to hold you a little too tight. he doesnt mean anything malicious by it, its just that hes truly not used to hugging people and also subconsciously he doesnt want the hug to end, you know? 7/10 me thinks

BEN DROWNED:

very short very cold and... damp? i personally headcannon that the most of the time hes in a digital device, but on the rare chance hes in the real world... hes very cold and as previously mentioned damp. might also have a general electric buzz about him, too. kind of like holding a cold soggy plushie straight from a washing machine. not at all pleasant but he cant help it :( 4/10 the ghost boy does not make a good hugger there isnt much else to be said

JEFF THE KILLER:

very lanky, admin also headcannons him to be very tall. like 6'2. lanky fucker. probably a "where's my hug" person but not in the gross neckbeard way and more so mocking those kinds of people because the look you give him makes him lose his shit and cackle. his jacket kind of smells, youre going to have to get him to go wash it. it doesnt smell putrid or anything but it definitely needs a wash. what being a dude on the run after committing homicide does to a mf 5/10 only because he has a weird aura

PUPPETEER:

VERY lanky and VERY cold, kind of rigid thanks to his weird puppet joints. kind of like hugging a wooden puppet. i dont think thats a pleasant thing.... hm... is usually slightly levitating off of the ground so its even harder to get a hold of him, given that hes also already really tall as is... you have to make him stop hunching over so you can actually get in there. absolutely basks in the fact that youre giving your time and energy to him, kind of gets annoying with it sometimes but thats just him being an ass. 6/10 but only because i fuck with him sometimes when i remember him

[dragonzfanfics11]

HEYYYYY, saw you recent post and LOVED THEM. You up for doing SBG with really tired S/O? Example: always napping, even in public. S/O would just like lay on them and nap

⭐️ anon

yesss!!!! I love this idea its actually how I would be like around my partner if I had one 🥲

Warnings- probably spelling errors cuz I'm to lazy to go fix them

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Ashlen

She wouldn't really mind whenever you just fall asleep near her

On her though she might be a little awkward but will never push you off of her

When it's just you two and you just decide to take a nap next o her she might take a nap with you (cuz all these kids need it bro)

In public it really just depends

if there's little people around (and aiden isn't there) she'd take a small nap with you

If there's lots of people she probably would just try her best to keep you up until there in a better place with less people and probably no aiden

Speaking of aiden again I think she'd give him hella glares if he trys to wake you up with a prank or something she's not letting that happen

Especially in the phantom realm she wants you to get as much sleep as you can when your just chilling in the phantom realm she dosent want you to tired more then you are

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Aiden

Itd probably be pretty hard to fall asleep around him but if you do bed think it's so cute!

Buuuuut aiden might pull some pranks on you somtimes when you fall asleep near him

When he dosent though he'd just let you sleep (cuz yall desperately need it fr) and he'd go do his own thing that may or may not be stupid (it 100 percent is)

Though if you fall asleep on him like leaning on his side or your head in his lap thats a different story!

If he dosent feel like pranking you he'd try his hardest to stay still and let you sleep

Even though it's a little hard with his adhd he trys

He most likely plays with your hair when you lay on him to help keep himself occupied and not wake you

If your in public and fall asleep near/on him I think he'd 100 percent just carry you to wherever your going next instead of waking you

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Ben

Hed love to just nap with you all the time

If it's just you two hanging out and you fall asleep on him he's asleep with you

Even in public if there's not many people he'll nap with you

Bit if there's alot of people he probably won't unless the rest of the group is there

Speaking of the rest of the group ben definitely has to make sure aiden doesn't wake you up because aiden would definitely do that -_-

Also he'd be awesome to sleep against, he'd be like a giant warm pillow It'd be awesome I don't blame anyone for wanting to cuddle him tbh

Back on topic lol, I think just like aiden he'd carry you if you fall asleep and they needed to go somewhere, he'd just scoop you up easily and they'd be on there way lol

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Tyler

When it's just you two he'd love to just cuddle and nap with you

Like when you two have a study date at his house and you fall asleep? He's cuddling with you once he finishes, he also makes sure you finish to

But in public he'd probably act annoyed but will never push you away or wake you up

He'll only wake you up when you have to get going or somtimes carry you

He also acts like a guard dog any time you fall asleep and makes sure nobody wakes you up especially aiden

If it's cold out and you fall asleep near him he'll probably lay his jacket over you

And if you lay on him in public he'll put his arm over you to make sure you don't fall or something but still acts annoyed and probably fights with aiden when he teases him

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Taylor

Shed think it's soooo cute whenever you just fall asleep near or on her

No matter where you guys are shell always just admire you when your asleep

If you fall asleep on her when it's just you two she might just play on her phone or something while stroking your hair

if you fall asleep on her in public shel try her hardest to sit still and make sure your comfortable until she has to wake you up

She makes sure nothing will wake you up because she knows you and the rest of the group desperately need sleep fr

Somtimes if your really tired and fall asleep on her in public she'll ask tyler or Ben to carry you

She definitely has a bunch of pictures he took of you sleeping in random places and on her she thinks it's so cute

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Logen

He'll make sure to be quiet whenever you fall asleep near or on him

I fell like every time you fall asleep on him he blushes at least a little bit

In public he trys to let you sleep as long as you can before gently waking you up by like stroking your hair/cheek gently

When it's just you two he will most likely fall asleep with you just cuddled up next to you being extra careful to not wake you

He trys his hardest to not let aiden wake you when you guys are with the group but he'd need Ben's help to keep aiden away

I fell like he'd stroke your hair a lot when your asleep as if you where a cat

Might also offer you his hoodie to use like a blanket some days

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Hope you liked it!!!! I've still got a few more requests to do so expect more posts randomly lol

[yameoto]

Hey so you're just about the only person I feel decent asking this question, Would you happen to have any tips to make messages more...interesting? I find myself using the same adjectives, ending up in the same spot with different characters, etc, etc. And was just wondering if you had anything i could use to spice things up again.

don’t just “react” to the bot. be proactive! lead the scenario where you think is interesting, get out of the first location, and don’t be afraid to make it wild. roleplay as if you were actually roleplaying with an individual—thread context n backstory in there. the longer and more detailed Your message, the same for the bot.

your own imagination is important! if you’re struggling, it helps to build off the contextual world of the specific bot, and what makes sense.

i.e letting stepsister!quinn drag her poor innocent stepsister out after curfew to see a sleazy rock concert is a vastly different scenario than singlemom!quinn letting you meet her daughter for the first time. OR, these above two would be very different to any theboys!au bots, in which the world means inherent danger, such as using the soldier boy bot (brainwashing him, forcing him to nuke vought etc). BUT, frankly, you can do ALL those scenarios with ALL the bots. how willing you are to suspend your disbelief is the only limit here. quinn can be a merc in training if you wish, just as ben can be your pervy step!brother. woah. might make both bots.

nor do you have to take the bot greeting as holy grail. you can start off the same bot with an entirely new scenario. bots are adaptable! and they’ll follow the new input. i’m guilty of this when i’m too lazy to make a new bot for a character but i still want to rp a different scenario.

basically, bots are NOT fixed. everything can be soft-rewritten by YOUR messages. i tend to get bots out of their starting location as fast as possible.

same goes for YOU! {{user}}. you can be anyone you want to be. you could be a pop star. an olympic gymnast. a member of the mafia. you can bring in so much of your own angst or backstory and thread it into your responses, and lead it in ways that play off your backstory.

i can’t help you with vocabulary unfortunately! this is something that comes with a lot of reading/writing. unless you want a list of synonyms you rote-learn with flashcards. if it’s any comfort to you, nobody is judging you on how many times you use the same words! just be wary the bot may copy your prose and end up very repetitive.

+ for smut, if you’re searching for new scenarios. whatever you find hot.

examples (with explanation) below

doctor!quinn.

one; is almost purely reactionary, however it has a bit of context that alludes to the greater history of the role-play.

two; reactionary, with context threaded through. bot reads subtext just as people do, and can pick it up on the idea 1. quinn/user have been working together for a long time, and that there is familiarity/routine/casual intimacy in their relationship.

three; split. mainly background, though the second paragraph is the actual reaction/response (and what most people would ONLY write!) the first paragraph gives a heapload of info to the bot that it can use to inform their interactions.

fair warning! you don’t need to write as much as me, i tend to get carried away when i actually do roleplay because else i get terribly bored repeating scenarios or not exercising a little bit of effort. i will say, however, it makes for much more rewarding roleplays.

hope this helped <3

[kitabearuwu]

Been thinking to myself lately about Ben’s girlfriend and have a theory to share 😼🙏

MAJOR CHAOS THEORY SPOILERS AHEAD

Here’s a compilation of all the evidence that Brooklynn is Ben’s girlfriend (but probably in disguise) and that we will see her come into the story soon

1.) The repeated yet cryptic mentions of her.

Ben mentioned his girlfriend only twice in the show, first framed as a joke and again in a more serious tone later. Both times, he was interrupted/questioned while talking about her and didn’t get to share any details. This usage of her presence tells the audience that she is important in some way, and leaves us to speculate on her role in the story. If Ben was lying about having a girlfriend, it would’ve been a one off gag and not mentioned in a serious light later on. Because we have no details to go off of with her, it makes her much more of a mystery to the audience.

2.) She lives in an unspecified country in Europe.

The series is set a couple of months before Dominion. If you all recall, the underground dinosaur market was featured heavily in Dominion, and the market they infiltrated was based in Valletta, Malta, which is in Europe. What does Brooklynn just so happen to be tracking in Chaos Theory?

Illegal dinosaur purchases.

We have no idea where she is at the moment, but if Brooklynn is currently in Europe and has been since she “died”, she could very well be tracking the market in Malta. It’s possible she’d want a “man on the inside” of sorts, and by connecting with Ben, she’d be able to keep track the N5 without revealing herself to be alive.

3.) The N5 boarded a boat that is going somewhere unspecified to meet a broker.

The boat they’re on is carrying a lot of illegally owned dinosaurs, and if they’re off to meet a broker, it’s entirely possible the boat is headed to one of the market checkpoints around the world. Darius listed a couple of them off as they walked through the storage unit, and one of the countries he mentioned was Malta.

If the N5 end up in Malta and are tracking the purchases at the same time as Brooklynn, who seems to be tracking the same boat and the events surrounding it as seen at the end of the show, they’ll see her there at some point no doubt.

It would also make sense for them to end up in Malta because the atrociraptors are in Malta by Dominion. If they end up going to Malta in Chaos Theory and defeating The Handler there, Soyona Santos could very easily take over the raptors there in Malta instead of receiving them elsewhere.

4.) When they put out a casting call for “Sydney”, the character they used as a cover for Brooklynn, they gave her an unnecessary backstory.

It would’ve been just as easy to put out the casting call and keep all information about her a secret besides the basics, but they shared a lot about her, like the fact that she was supposedly a child actress now working to expose the industry for mistreatment, or that she lost her arm protecting her friends. These details that were shared about her were unnecessary to think of at all, unless they actually plan to USE those details in the show. They could be part of the identity she’s using to date Ben. This could also explain why her name has been kept from the audience, because if she’s going by Sydney, we’d be able to guess that she’s not who she says she is with a little research.

5.) Brooklynn and Ben both use Dark Jurassic, and could have easily connected there.

Brooklynn knew how much of an avid user Ben was of Dark Jurassic, and could’ve easily forced a connection with him on there somehow since she would’ve known his account information and such. If they didn’t connect directly on the website, they could’ve easily connected off the website over a shared interest in Dark Jurassic and conspiracy theories. Brooklynn and Ben were shown to be pretty close before her “death”, and so it’s likely that Brooklynn would know how to befriend him/what values would get him interested in a connection in the first place.

I really wouldn’t put it past the show runners to pull some twist like this, especially with how Brooklynn’s character has been framed as someone willing to do ANYTHING for information. She said herself that she isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, and fake dating one of her friends to get trusted information or to build on theories of her own etc seems like something she’d be willing to do if she felt it necessary for her investigation.

Regardless of whether this theory ends up being true or not, I’m excited to see where they take her character in season 2!

[manheimsmuse]

Hi Ivory 😊👋

So uhm, I don’t know, can I request something for ben plunkett, fluff please 😊

Maybe with a very shy reader. Well it takes place after the movie, if it's okay. Uhm the reader is at the same university as him and is smart and helped him in the lessons and he adores her because he thinks that she is cute. So he tries to talk to her more and then after some weeks they are getting friends very soon but they fell in love in each other but neither of them knows each other’s feelings.

One day he wanted to kiss the reder but got interrupted to kiss them 3 times. And one time he has finally the opportunity to do it.

So I just realized that I got carried away, I'm so sorry. But I thought it's cute 🙈

Thank you so much 😊

THIRD TIMES A CHARM ; BEN PLUNKETT

a/n ; i love that little dork ben so so much he means the world to me actually

warnings ; afab!reader, fem pronouns, fluff, no smut just cut because i go on too much, not edited or proofread yikes.

world history being an elective confused you, as a history major you couldn’t help but wonder why someone would subject themselves to this class by choice. it was mandatory for you, but there was about ten students from other majors that shared the class with you.

ben plunkett was one of these students, you actually don’t know why he took the elective, you assumed it was just to get extra credits on his degree because there was no way he was enjoying the class. you could tell in the way he zoned out in lectures, or worked on homework for other classes at the back of the room.

you weren’t all that surprised when he came to you for tutoring, your professor posted your grades on the class board to encourage ‘healthy competition’ and your name frequented the top of the list while ben’s floated somewhere along the middle.

tutoring ben was easy, he was smart enough to catch up on his own, that much was clear every time you asked him a question and he answered correctly without hesitation. why he needed the help was beyond you, but you did it anyway, you were enjoying it surprisingly.

the longer the two of you spent together the more obvious it became that you liked each other. you were quiet, not stupid, it didn’t need to be pointed out to you that ben liked you, whether or not he knew how obvious it was was another thing. you weren’t all that discreet either, though you’d never actually tell ben how you felt, unless of course he told you first.

meeting in the library quickly evolved into meeting at coffee shops, his usual ‘hey!’ replaced with a ‘you look really pretty today’ or ‘there’s my good luck charm’. coffee shops then evolved into dorm rooms the closer you got, half studying half just spending time together with the excuse of tutoring to mask any feelings that could slip through.

eventually ben asked you to come over to watch a movie, no mention of textbooks or homework, just you, him and his old macbook thrown on his bed to watch some movie he’d probably seen a million times before.

that was the first time he tried to kiss you.

his arm was lazily draped over your shoulders as you lay back together, eyes focused on the small screen and trying to ignore the way your stomach lurched every time his hand brushed against your arm. he’d leant in when you turned to ask him about the movie, and you were more than willing to let it happen, only for his roommate barging in unannounced to ask about leftover pizza in the kitchen.

the second time was in the library.

this time you were actually studying for a test, it wasn’t one of the big ones, just a mid semester exam to see how everyone was doing with the syllabus so far. usually you sat across from each other, but more recently you would occupy the seat next to ben, just to share a textbook of course.

“you look really pretty right now,” ben mumbles, face close to yours as you both lean over the same textbook, the two of you close enough that your foreheads could touch “oh, god, i didn’t mean to say that out loud. i mean - you do look pretty right now, you always look really pretty but-“

“ben, relax..” you giggle, already feeling the blush creeping across your face as you interrupted his anxious rambling “you look really pretty too.”

there’s a brief silence where you both find yourself leaning in again, only for bens phone to ring out loudly leaving him to scramble to silence the call from his best friend mandy.

the third time was at the campus bar.

your friends had invited you out to celebrate the end of finals, ben’s friend mandy had come up to visit him. instead of blowing one off for the other, ben simply merged the two and brought mandy along to meet the group.

the two of you didn’t get to talk much, between mandy talking his ear off as they caught up and your own conversations with you friends, you were both too preoccupied to fawn over each other.

“hey, come help?”

ben placed his hand on your shoulder to grab your attention as he passed, taking one for the team and offering to grab the next round.

he refused to let you pay for your own drink no matter how much you insisted, the pair of you shamelessly flirting now that you had a moment to yourselves.

it was a horrible sense of deja vu as you both leaned in, getting so close only to be stopped by mandy’s voice calling out to him from the table. something about someone wanting a different drink.

you shut your eyes to hide the eyeroll, missing how ben completely ignored mandy to bring his hand to the back of your neck and pull you into a kiss. an actual kiss.

“finally”

you accidentally mutter aloud when you separate, ignoring the jaw dropped stares coming from your table as you remain in each others personal space.

“you know what they say, third times a charm.”

[candle-lamp]

Rereading SBB and writing what I notice: Episode 31-40:

- phantom npc pose

- Aiden jumping off the bus, Taylor holding the ladder for Logan, Ben holding Logan’s gun

- Aiden going “oop” when Ashlyn reacts to Taylor wanting to stay put

- the rest of the gang looking awkward while Ash and Tyler are arguing

- Ashlyn decided to become the leader out of guilt and I feel like that’s underused by the fanbase

- Aiden being like “hurry up or I’m jumping the wall by myself”

- Taylor’s pep talk saves the day, honestly the group would’ve probably torn themselves apart without her there

- I love Ashlyn’s parents but what the heck were they thinking putting  knives in her shoes when she was a kid

- Taylor and Ben standing together before they leave for the jeep

- Logan’s injuries fading to a scar in about a month

- party walkers!

- Aiden “I’m durable!” Clark

- the concerned faces of everyone when he jumped

- “I need a document for work and because the author needs a reason for you to grab your keys, it’s trapped in here”

- you can see the phantom that grabs Ash a few panels before

- Ashlyn coming up with “Mr Durable”

- first time we see Aiden really not smiling

- the phantom understanding Ashlyn (before getting boinked)

- Tyler carrying Ash, Ben carrying Aiden, also Taylor can drive (not well)

- Ben protecting Aiden and Ashlyn in the backseat

- Tyler getting sick (motion sickness, stress, both?)

- everything becomes more saturated as Taylor celebrates

- Aiden being the one to complement Logan’s shot (Aidlo shippers come get your juice)

- Logan previously practiced with Aiden’s airsoft gun (who let him have that?)

- happy Ashlyn (only possible when concussed)

- crane base is a warehouse somewhere in the woods

- the gang being goofy in the bg while Ashlyn hears the guy spying

- “EXAMS!! sobbing, crying, the end is near”

- the recording devices bug out in the graveyard

- bald crane is Ryan

- hooded crane refers to “both sides”, who are they talking about?

- tour guide is Jasmine

- Jasmine has takeout like she mentioned in her first appearance

- Jasmine can see the rift

- what is the crane’s “cause” they keep referring to?

- Ash’s dad “maybe we should call an exorcist?”

- still lots of questions about Ashlyn’s connection to the phantoms

- the twins telling Ash and Aiden to work things out bc they’re ruining the vibe

- Aidlyn hug <3333

- “you seemed like the type of person who wouldn’t become close to someone unless they were actually special to you” Aiden my boy do you hear yourself

- “*correct. you’re both socially inept”

- Tyler calling them cringy

- Logan comforting Ben after midterms, everyone looking depressed and Aiden just having a snack

- Ashlyn’s parents talk to Aiden’s parents

- Ash’s dad adding an extra seat to fit all the kids (he’s such a good dad I love him)

- Ashlyn that is not a safe way to sit in a car

- neither Ashlyn or Logan had ever been to an arcade

- Ashlyn plays DDR

- group study session where Tyler has given up and is just laying with a book on his face

- more Aidlyn moments

- Taylor also plays DDR

- Ashlyn giving advice on the basketball game

- Logan taking an air hockey puck to the face

- Logan destroying Ben in a shooting game

- Ben winning a ton of tickets from a strength game, Taylor clapping

- ew Barron

[descendantofthesparrow]

Sweet boy. - Harry Hook x reader - ficlet

She/her* reader, no use of *you

=

Touch was one of Harry’s main love languages.

A graze of his fingers on the back of Uma’s hand. The clap on Gil’s back when he did something particularly smart or good. Holding CJ’s shoulders and shaking her about as he cackled, his little sister screaming obscenities at him with a matching grin. The push of his cheek on Harriet’s shoulder.

Touch was how Harry said ‘I love you’. On the isle-it was one of the only safe ways to say it. Uma did the same, mostly aimed towards Harry-her fingers through his hair, pinkies interlocking when they were close enough(or wrapped around his hook).

When they moved to Auradon-Harry became more open with his affection. His arms around Uma’s shoulders, holding her close as he laughed. Holding Gil’s hand when they walked. Carrying CJ on his back (usually from her demand but he never minded). Putting his full weight onto Harriet, his arms wrapped around her torso as she ignored him with a fond smile.

Harry never realized how badly he wanted to be touched like he did others, for someone to take that step before he did.

He found that in a friend he met in Auradon.

Harry smiled as he watched (y/n) move through the crowds of students, huffing as she attempted to push through a small pack of friends-all so closely knit together she had to stop and step aside to let them pass. “yall ain't the only ones in the hall ya know!” (y/n) yelled over the noise, barely audible with how loud everyone was. Harry laughed quietly, watching as (y/n) finally broke through the chaos and ran up to him, her arms spread wide as she yelled out his name-the two finally reunited after morning classes separated them.

“HARRY!” (y/n) slammed into his chest-her arms going around his torso and squeezing tightly, his arms doing the same-nuzzling his face into her hair. He loved her hugs, she liked to practically body slam him and squeeze him as tight as she could without hurting him-he didn’t mind, it gave him a sense of peace he never knew he could feel.

“(y/n)” Harry purred, feeling (y/n)’s hands pat his back a bunch of times before pulling back, his hands moving to her waist as she twisted around to look for Uma and Gil-but they were already in the cafeteria-getting a table for the group. “they’re already at lunch, c’mon-before all the good shits gone.” (y/n) cheered and took his hand, trailing behind him as he easily walked through the crowds.

When they finally sat down-(y/n) was already glued to his side, cheek on his shoulder and hand around his arm. She was always touching him somehow-just like he did. Be it Uma, Gil, his sisters, Ben, or Evie, hell even Jay-he always was touching them one way or the other, a hand on their shoulder, his shoulder against their back, his foot touching theirs, he always had to be touching them in one way or the other-unless they didn’t like being touched, like Mal.

Mal didn’t like to be touched unless she initiated it, and even then she was very….cat like. Harry loved it, he liked being touched, his hands held, his hair ruffled, being hugged, hell his new favorite thing was laying down and having Uma or (y/n) just-putting their full weight on them. Just absolutely crushing him.

He loved that.

He tilted his head into (y/n)’s as she curled her arms around his arm and turned, her cheek pressed against his shoulder as someone called her name-her laugh ringing through his ears as she squeezed his arm. Harry couldn’t help but smile, a feeling floating in his chest as he took a bite of his sandwich. A feeling he could only describe as; peace. He was content.

-end-

Idk-just kinda smoothing back into writing Harry. Again, the only multipart I’ll be writing will be cstf so-have a lil ficlet?

permtaglist~!

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange @lunanight2012

@daughter-of-the-stars11 @musicarose @rintheemolion

@random-thoughts-004 @anythingbutmar @dai-tsukki-desu

@imtryingthisout @remembered-license @thecaptainsgingersnap

@thetrueghostqueen @littlewierdalien

[getlancered]

welcome to my 1 million turnabout bigtop headcanons

russell berry:

actual personality description because in the game he just kind of dies. stoic, generally serious man. bit of a blank slate to talk to. secretly TERRIFIED of confrontation, will do just about anything he can to avoid every problem in his life. this is not to be confused with avoiding responsibility, because he is the bossiest motherfucker around besides maybe trilo. runs the circus with an iron fist. no problems to fix if you never let them happen in the first place!

AUTISM

british weirdo

actually pretty connected in the entertainment industry

when he’s not wearing a suit he usually wears sweaters

takes first impressions so so seriously

DEAD wife that hes still not over

her death is unrelated to the circus because i think he wouldve shut that down in one singular second if it was

the circus was a passion project of her and moe’s, but russell was the only one competent enough with money and people that he ended up basically running it. neither of them wanted to do the technicalities

he wont consider his sexuality because he only loves his dead wife

moe:

nickname comes from highschool and the shit he used to get into, fabricated an identity to some stranger after vandalizing their house and it just stuck

took “class clown” a little too seriously

used to be an actual stand up comedian but being a party clown is just wayyyy easier

manchild. very silly and not serious all the time. completely aware of it by the way and encourages whimsy in the world

most insufferable case of hyperactive ADHD in the world

cannot sit normally anywhere ever

has many little odd hobbies

owns a bunch of really stupid graphic/text tshirts that do not apply to him in the slightest

likes to carry around those little plastic toys with the metal ball and a maze that u tilt around to solve. also those little water games where u push the button to try and get the rings on the hook. do u guys know what im talking about

can and will juggle any 3 items he can get his hands on

clings to russell all the time. follows him around. absolutely hates being alone so russell is his solution

gay as fuck for russell berry. this is not a secret. at all.

helped russell out with regina quite a bit, esp after his wife died

fine at confrontation unless it is of his own emotional issues

max galactia’s #1 hater

regina berry:

AUTISM

british loser too but fakes a french accent because it’s cuter and more posh

very good at imitating accents!

absolutely not mentally 16. very ditzy and carefree and childish

is not at all prepared for genuine reality because she was raised and surrounded her entire life by the members of the circus

very athletic!

has personalities for each of her animals and talks to/treats them like people

her mom died when she was 6, this is where her belief of dead people being stars comes from because russell genuinely could not tell her the truth

also why she wasn’t that upset about her lion or bat

closest to acro in the circus and still considers them to be best friends despite acro genuinely despising her

automatically assumes everyone is her friend unless they do or say something that shows otherwise

moe calls her “tiger” because she got facepaint as a kid and kept it on for days while acting like a tiger

amazing gift-giver

crow girl. drawn to anything and everything sparkly

enjoys those really elaborate lego sets

ben/trilo:

ft my backstory headcanon for how he entered the circus because its never established

AUTISM

trilo is ben’s non-loser persona essentially

ben has had severe social anxiety since childhood

^ where the stutter comes from

met moe as a teenager at his little sisters birthday party, was genuinely curious about how he can just go up on a stage in such a ridiculous get-up. talk to people. be social. he did not get it

when russell started the circus, he wanted to join and gtfo from his house

probably the neglected child to his little sister i think

joined the circus shortly after regina was born and was kind of the de facto babysitter so he considers regina his actual little sister (LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.)

trilo was created for regina when she was born. ben was kind of like a babysitter to her and made up a gag with this puppet and slapstick comedy to keep baby regina entertained. the whole circus loved it and trilo stuck!

what was once a coping mechanism became a depedancy. the only people he can speak to without trilo are the circus members

because he and the circus treats trilo like a completely separate being for his act and for regina, he never worked up the nerve to talk to people. there was no practice there because trilo isn’t him

doesn’t absolutely despise max because max is essentially like if moe was less obnoxious. flamboyant and outgoing and actually helpful!

great impressionist

max galactica:

entered the entertainment industry as a teenager after being scouted in high-school

genuinely does not give two shits about what other people think about him because he knows theyre all wrong. self-centered asshole

BAAAD anger issues. frequently smashes plates over dinner arguments. raises his voice quickly

only person spared from his eternal rage is regina berry

not getting his way makes him like genuinely upset

loves to threaten to quit to make everyone do what he wants

probably some sort of personality disorder

in a beautiful world he goes to therapy

he does actually genuinely want them to all be better performers but he’s literally terrible at showing it LMAO

lover of really obnoxious and clearly fabricated reality TV

massive drama whore. gossiper like no other.

the worst cook you’ve ever met in your life

drag queen!

into loser men (benjamin woodman)

acro/ken:

AUTISM

would both kill and die for every single member of the circus

including regina. not the kind of person to ever hold such a deep grudge so this is a first for him and he has very mixed feelings about it all

he gets physical therapy and his life is better ♥️

very emotional but great at regulating his feelings and self reflection. also great poker face!

terrible at accepting anyones act of kindness no matter how big or small. feels like he always has to pay everything back

tends to hide himself away if he is genuinely upset enough to the point of not being able to hide it

extremely observant person. in both behaviors and physical settings. always knows what to look for and what is out of place

very blunt but not. rude. just sort of speaks his thoughts and feelings. either honest about what he feels or dead silent

terrible liar

“will listen to anything” music kind of guy

actually quite prideful but like. in a healthy way.

tanktop wearer duh this we know but just generally a hater towards long sleeved shirts

decent artist! fun little hobby for him

[musicoftheheart]

i am not in a Positive Mood atm and so i will be picking a bone with disney because there is one song that has frustrated me since the day i heard it and i vow here and now that one day i will rewrite it and that song is My Once Upon A Time from descendants 3

for context, the song comes right after all of mal's closest friends and her fiance have just been turned to stone. unless she can find a way to turn them back, they are - for all intents and purposes - dead, essentially. and, as she says in the song, its her fault. i dont 100% agree with that, but its not the bit i want to pick at

no, what id like to rant about is the fact that the whole song - the whole song - is her talking about how she needs to fix it because its not how she wants to be remembered. what?! im sorry, her friends have been turned to stone and shes concerned about whether she'll be portrayed as a hero in history books? what the fuck.

allow me to point to a song that achieved exactly what mouat shouldve: the next right thing, from frozen 2. in this song, anna learns her sister is dead, because olaf (who's life relies on elsa) dies in her arms. anna's song shows how she picks herself back up, not for herself but because she has people relying on her who need her. because its the right thing to do. not because she wants to be seen as a saviour, but because she wants to save the lives of everyone still in danger. shes already lost her sister, she doesnt want to lose her kingdom, her people, too.

tnrt in frozen 2 was an impactful and emotional moment. mouat in d3 showed mal brushing off the fact her friends were gone and instead focused on her reputation. and i get it - i get that the whole point of the descendants trilogy was that you get to write your own story, and that nobody is wholly good or bad, and that youre in control of your own decisions and whether they help or hurt - but this should be a moment of pure emotion for mal as she recognises how her own actions have led to the loss of her friends, but that she has to carry on if she ever wants a chance to save them; to save everyone. it should not be focused on her being good for the sake of reputation

and, to add to this, im fully aware that throughout the three movies, we see how mal values other people's perception of her, especially so at the start of d2, and then again at the start of d3 both as her role as future queen, and when she doesnt tell her isle friends that it was her call to keep the barrier closed. shes afraid of how theyll see her, yes, but we had the character growth during d2 where mal became more confident about not fitting with the perfect princess look (represented by her transformation into the dragon, and continued use of such magic despite it coming from her evil mother, as well as her dress changing from auradonion colours to her signature purple), so any insecurities there shouldve been wrapped up. and her lies in d3 were, ultimately, for the good of everyone, and only temporary. the barrier had to stay closed until they could figure out a way for it to be safe for everyone. if she had let them bring down the barrier too soon and a villain had caused chaos, then that would ruin the chances of the barrier ever coming down forever. and if she had told her friends - specifically evie - that it was her call, then she knew that evie would convince her to change her mind. but changing her mind at that point was not for the greater good, therefore she lied. as much as a small amount of it was for her reputation among her friends, it was also for the good of auradon and the isle

therefore i refuse to believe that muoat shouldve been focused wholly on her reputation. we know mal cares so much about her friends and about ben, so why didnt the song dive into that? why were we not looking at her guilt, or her determination to carry on so that she could save her loved ones and her home? why, instead, did we focus so hard on the way she wants to be remembered for her heroics and good deeds?

i also understand that mal may be compartmentalising to an extent, by ignoring her own grief for her friends and instead focusing her attention elsewhere to keep herself going. she very clearly does have insecurities about her decisions and her role in auradon, so it would make sense to distract herself with that rather than letting herself break down over her friends. if this was what they intended, though, i think it was poorly done. at least, i certainly wouldnt have brushed past it quite so nonchalantly. mal hardly seemed to care that her friends had been turned to stone after the first - what - two lines of the song? and even then all she says is that she deserves it. she deserves it?? like it had just been a shove in the playground or something, and not an attack on her loved ones - one that, remember, could very well result in her losing them forever

quite literally, her only lines in the song about losing her friends are: "here you are alone and you deserve it // your friends have turned to stone and thats on you" and that is it. everything else is about her story being written, or about serving a cause, or her reputation not being linked to her parents'

i really do not like this song. i havent watched d3 for over a year, so i do apologise if ive missed/forgotten important context, but from everything i remember and listening to the song itself, i do not believe it does the moment justice. i want to rewrite it one day, ive no idea if i ever will or how, but i dont like it the way it is.

[lady-margaret]

bridgerton season 3 part 1 opinion (as someone who has read all the books + is kathony biased so be warned)

after sitting and stewing on what i just watched for a few hours

i’d like to start this off by saying that due to my disappointment of the writing from the last season, i was way more gracious with this one. kate and anthony were great because of simone and jonathan; i’m not sure the writers had much to do with that.

anyway, what i’m saying is that i already knew not to expect the writers to be faithful to the source material (romancing mr. bridgerton), so i was able to enjoy myself more. additionally, polin’s book isn’t exactly a favorite of mine anyway, so there wasn’t a lot to be too disappointed with in my case.

what i liked:

penelope’s wardrobe; they hyped up the “transformation” so much and i’m glad it did not disappoint.

colin’s hot 😌

eloise’ wardrobe; someone pointed out that it had a lot of philip references, so yay 😀 (it has me worried that it’ll be her story next though, we need ben first)

eloise interacting with the other ladies of the ton was really cute and refreshing; she’s learning that despite them having different interests than her, they are still people of great value. the difference is eloise was raised in a loving and supportive family, unlike most of the others.

sibling’s g&h’s personalities coming through more (they are anthony’s children, truly).

featherington sisters as comic relief.

MARRIED KATHONY CRUMBS 💕💕💕 they carried episode 1 for me.

FRANCESCA 💕💕💕 gorgeous introvert representation.

FRANNY AND JOHN 💕💕💕 (i am both ready and NOT ready to get hurt 🥹)

book references (yay! the bare minimum!)

lord debling’s dope.

i actually do like that they gave cressida a legitimate reason to want to win the competition money to unmask LW in the second part.

the music choices haven’t disappointed yet!!!!!

colin’s line for the season is def the “well are you gonna marry me or not?” line HEHEHEHEHE i ALMOST screamed as loud as i did when john entered when he said that line to pen.

as an army, plus points for dynamite 🤭 i didn’t expect to like the orchestral version and didn’t see the vision of where they would even insert it, but i actually liveddd for it.

what i don’t really have strong feelings about:

mondrich plot; alice is beautiful but the addition of their family storyline didn’t make much of a lasting impact.

the queen; she was very meh so far.

the featherington storyline: the sisters are funny, but their whole situation mixed with the humor leads me not to take it very seriously.

violet x lady danbury’s brother: 🤷‍♀️ i don’t see it.

the “lady danbury’s brother” storyline in general is very forgettable.

what i disliked:

i think nicola and luke could use more chemistry; they fall short compared to daphne&simon and kathony (HEAVY ON KATHONY THIS IS WHY THEY REMOVED THEM FROM THE REST OF THE EPISODES SIGH)

they kinda mischaracterized colin (he spent the last two seasons being selfish and putting himself above everyone else violet, what the hell are you talking about “you never place yourself over others” 🤨)

the lack of ben time?? did he go back to the academy after taking over for anthony briefly??? what did he do besides dodging debutantes all season????

they glossed over benedict running the estate so quickly; this could have been an opportunity to draw out his storyline, especially since he mentioned that he liked having a purpose: WRITERS???? DO SOMETHING WITH THAT!

i also didn’t really care for the ben x tilly arnold plot; unless sophie’s actually a maid of her’s or something, i don’t see her point in the show besides just be another one of ben’s ever changing girl of the season.

im sorry but eloise would never SHOULD NEVER have befriended her (ex?) best friend’s bully, no matter what the circumstances. that is NOT eloise.

honestly, them revealing whistledown in the first season is really screwing with the writing; in this regard, i wish they stayed more faithful to the book and how colin finds out about LW. it all just seems so messy at this point.

so s3 starts when kathony end their honeymoon… how long was this honeymoon? math isn’t mathing cuz it couldn’t have been more than a week given that kate isn’t obviously pregnant yet in the first ep.

i know that colin and pen are longtime friends, but from how they’ve interacted with each other in the past seasons, it’s a bit harder to believe that they were close CLOSE friends; close friends to the extent of helping the other find a spouse through “lessons”? i don’t see it. that’s why i was a bit ??? when i first found out about the plot they were going with for the season (in the book, colin really just starts following her around cuz she was being sus)

i hate that they had to come up with an excuse to get rid of kathony for the rest of the episodes; i get that they’ve been running their separate households alone for most of their lives and want a break but… i don’t think they would abandon their responsibilities for an “extended honeymoon”. knowing them, running the estate isn’t gonna stop them from being wh0res!! they help each other out with the estate and are still sickeningly in love and have time for each other (in the books). i was also really hoping to see kate taking over the viscountess role. i swore they would have done something like that after that cute/awkward moment when they both respond to “lady bridgerton” in episode 1.

i get that it’s established that penelope’s one goal for the season is to get a husband, but as i know her character, she would NEVER get into races (?) or run just so she can talk to a suitor before anyone else does 😭 okay but it was funny.

i am kinda sad that they couldn’t have just let a mean character or a villain character be the villain character; yea sure, i did say that i liked that cressida had a legitimate and well thought out motive for wanting the LW reward money but, idk i could’ve lived without her storyline.

one of the BIGGEST THINGS for me is that i do not think they should have released so many clips/snippets of the show days or weeks before it came out. i understand like 1 clip, but i skipped SO MANY SCENES because i have watched them at least 5 times already on tiktok or twitter.

the two part season idea is dumb.

i’m scared for how messy part 2 will be (in terms of both writing and just how stressed i will be with the revealing of LW plot HUHU poor pen) but i’m still looking forward to it 😇😇😇 and despite all the things i didn’t like, i did still enjoy it. if i do rewatch it or not is still to be decided; s1 & s2 have such high rewatch value.

franny and john were TRULY a standout though. i cannot even begin to describe how loud i screamed when he finally said his name out loud 😭💕

verdict: the writing is getting messier, get jonathan bailey in that writer’s room ASAP

[rei-ismyname]

From The Ashes: X-Men #5 Review

Spoilers, obviously.

A Journey to the Centre of the Mind Issue

Mambo number 5 is about as close to a bottle episode as it gets in comics, so the main question is 'does it succeed at that?' Cyclops appears briefly at the beginning and end, but he's not a main character per se. The focus is on Kwannon/Psylocke and Quentin Quire - two characters with little, if any history.

Let's assume this white lady is Kwannon, GRRR

It's nice to see Kwannon and Greycrow are still together, though he used to be a lot more attractive. I'm not talking about the weight he's gained, that's great. His facial structure is off - he looks like Kraven the Hunter. I don't think the art style is doing him any favours. They're having the same conversation they've always had so the Kwannon focus is off to a boring start. There's nothing here we haven't heard before, and she's not talking like a real person. Very writerly, like someone who's read the script and is telling us their blunt themes. Trauma stays with you and repeats itself over and over, but unless you're going laser focused on the subject you want to give us something new.

Okay that's pretty funny

Aside from that threat and Quentin saying 'kicks', nothing new here either. 20 pages is a very limited amount of space - I don't think this is the issue for using three of them to set up a smash cut joke. I'll come back to this intro. This mission is the reason these two weren't available last issue. A psychic rescue of Ben Liu, the dude they rescued in #2 and argued with Agent Lundqvist over in #3. He's in a coma and Cyclops tells them not to take their arguing into his head.

There's the 'aliens' he was projecting in #2, and Quentin thinks something is off. Kwannon is right, people usually use sign language and projection during psychic rescues/surgery. He disagrees, of course. The imagery is interesting, but again I feel like we're not learning anything new. I'd expect act 2 here to be more dense - it's a hyperfocused issue but the content is light so far.

Yes, he was experimented on. See what I mean? The art is showing the most blatant 'torturous experimentation by humans' imagery possible - is the most interesting dialogue possible to have them plainly state that? Or to have Kwannon just say she can't see something? This type of mission is an archetype at this point, so we've seen it done well before. Not just in comics either, this is a cartoon/sci-fi staple. People understand the premise, especially if you're economical in setting it up. I think it's a miscalculation to treat the new readers they're trying to hook like they need their hands held. Anyway, there's an entity of some sort - a psychic jack-in-the-box who looks and talks a lot like Cassandra Nova.

Except it straight up tells them who did the experimenting. Great security system lol, or maybe one that assumes they won't be able to tell anyone. 3K sound like overly elaborate dumbasses.

It goes straight for the jugular trauma. Quentin's fear of abandonment name checking his parents (who he accidentally killed, are we retconning that or is this his adopted parents? Probably the latter.) Also Wolverine and Phoebe, which are nice to see acknowledged as important relationships. And of course Sabertooth, who beheaded him and carried it round in a jar, using him as a tool to hurt his friends. It's both very effective and stuff he's mostly dealt with already. Maybe that's why it doesn't stop him for long. No mention of Idie, his oldest friend who's not very impressed with him? No mention of his guilt from X-Force war crimes or the hundreds of times he died? No mention of Krakoa, the loss every mutant should be feeling? Of course not.

Kwannon sees John Greycrow telling her she's wrong and killing himself, and that's it. She has wayyyy more hectic trauma than this so maybe it's fear or insecurity. Either way it feels very small - I love Greycrow and them together but she's a lot more than the relationship. She had a daughter who died, she was bodyjacked for decades, she's been terrorised by Sinister. This feels more like Greycrow's issues than hers. If this is followed up with them being super codependent then fine, it's worth the page space. Right now it feels like Quentin is the main character and Kwannon is a paper cutout. 'I can't' are words I'd expect from Quentin, but Kwannon keeps saying them this issue. If you're not doing it properly, maybe leave her outside as the anchor or something? Focus on Quentin so we get a deeper look under his hood, setup his arc for this run. Psylocke has a solo book coming after all, plenty of time to get to know her again.

Also, is that how Black Bug rooms work? The usage feels odd to me but I'm being hypercritical here. Weigh in if you know.

Quentin hears a psychic gunshot and snaps out of it. That was easy! Cassandra Nova must be losing her touch. I guess it's not the real her anyway, just an echo. Maybe she's not up to her old tricks and letting them know the name of the enemy was intentional. I doubt it, but we'll see. They use Quentin's Omega power and Psylocke's finesse on a psychic fastball special. His echoing of her threat to him as support is a serviceable callback, but it foregrounds Quentin again. Simultaneously too much and not enough, though at least it justifies her presence on this mission.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Is it just me or is that a shitload of blood on the ground? This is the last page, directly following the one I showed above it. Here's what we learned

- Benny Boy is awake.

- 3K are responsible for the adult X-Gene activations.

- On baseline humans, which might recontextualise a thing or two.

- Cassandra Nova is involved.

So a bunch of dipshits dug up an old villain for the fourth time and borrowed a scheme from the Ultimate Universe. Why? How? It'd be good to get Beast or Scott's reaction to that, but there's no room. There wasn't even enough room to show how Kwannon learnt this, but it's a pretty reasonable deduction. My earlier question was 'does it succeed at being a psychic rescue issue?' Just barely. It checks all the boxes but left a lot on the shelf. It took too long to get to act 1 for Kwannon beats that weren't worth it IMO. Yeah I want to know about her but having too broad a focus meant we arguably learnt more about Greycrow than her. We learnt nothing new about Quentin. The psychic rescue was setup last issue, I think starting in media res would have freed up 5-6 pages to put some meat on those bones.

X-Men comics have a long standing tension between new and established readers. 'Every comic is somebody's first' is admirable, but the patience of established readership is finite. I don't think it succeeds well at either, to be frank, and it feels like that tension is a factor. I think at some point you just have to tell the best story possible, otherwise we're left asking 'who is this for?' That's capitalism for you, always chasing growth often at the expense of creativity.

Also, KWANNON LOOKS FUCKING WHITE. She's Japanese. Do better, FFS.

I don't really vibe with numerical ratings, so I'll just say that X-Men issue 5 is totally skippable. The information will be mentioned again and the journey wasn't executed very well. What a shame. The art is okay, consistent with every other issue of this title, except for the whitewashing. It's got a lot of choices I don't love but I suspect they come from editorial (Quent and Cyclops' ages etc.) Thanks for reading.