#unless you want like something specific out of a server

[moonlight-prose]

tempted to make a discord solely to keep in touch and chat and chill if this site takes the brunt of what's coming.

[cheol-e-kat]

For your new bingo!

Internet friends+blind date+ size kink [mingyuu]

hi anon cutie, yea, this one - i have thoughts hehe and ofc i hope you like it - also misspellings in their chat is intentional, no one is perfect while chatting

♡ kat

bingo squares: internet friends + blind date + size kink

pairing: kim mingyu / f!reader

summary:  y/n is nervous about a blind date and spends all her time chatting with her online gaming friend about it. Turns out he might be a lot more than the guy she just chats with online.

word count:  3.3k

genre: college au, rivals to lovers, internet friends to lovers, blind dates, smut

Rating: 18+, MDNI, explicit

warnings below cut

warnings: drinking, oral sex, penetrative sex, cum play, fingering, size kink (her for him), big dick!mingyu, dollification

y/n really hated dates - she hated them in general. 

so a blind date was even worse - she couldn’t even properly work herself up to her normally high anxiety levels. she certainly couldn’t properly stalk the guy on social media either, so what was even the point, she wondered as she stared at her phone. 

at this point, she couldn’t complain to her irl friends even because they were the ones with this so-called ‘genius’ plan to set her up with someone they were so sure she would like. plus, it was the day of, anyway, so what could she really do?

but then she remembered her online life, and her online friends, specifically ‘readyplayergyv’, who just happened to be online. because he was always online. 

annoyingly, he was initially encouraging - he had even said that ‘maybe she would make a friend.’ 

she had groaned at that and sent an emote of a teddy bear with a knife telling him that was ‘cursed.’

he sent a voice note in response, saying, “you never know - you might really like them - just give it a chance.”

she had one word for that: ‘traitor.’ 

well, actually she had more, so she sent ‘et tu brute’ and followed it with ‘judas’ in all caps. 

[readyplayergyv] you really are a dork

[bearycloudy] eat me

[readyplayergyv] aafafafaf plz let that be ur opening line

she shook her head, smiling. 

[bearycloudy] fr i hate meeting new ppl - i’m always nervous and sweaty

[readyplayergyv] cancel? say ur grandma died

she snorted.

[bearycloudy] taht’s terrible

[readyplayergyv] so u don’t wanna go just make something up

she sighed, wishing it were that easy.

[bearycloudy] my friends will be annoyed

[readyplayergyv] annoyed or you’ve used the grandma excuse before

she smiled to herself, knowing she had used it once.

[bearycloudy] i’ve maybe used it 

[readyplayergyv] then you know it’s a solid plan

[bearycloudy] yea but how many grannies dying is too many yk

[readyplayergyv] all the grannies all dead

she grinned. she had the urge to call him ‘cute.’ actually, she had that urge fairly often, especially when they were in dms. because he was really cute and sweet. and she liked his voice.

 they had met while gaming. he never seemed to have an issue with her being the only girl on the team. or the only girl online generally. no weirdo nicknames or any of that. just - nice. he was nice. 

the server they hung out in had a huge no-doxxing policy, so no one shared photos, unless it was like their pet or something. but she liked to imagine that readyplayergyv was at least cute. maybe hot. 

she sighed and typed a new message.

[bearycloudy] so do u have any plans???

she waited. she never really asked things like that. she didn’t mind that he did, but she also usually just shared without being asked. but he didn’t, and she didn’t like to pry. she assumed that if he wanted to share, he would.

[readyplayergyv] yea some stuff my friends planned

she yawned.

[bearycloudy] sounds exciting

[readyplayergyv] idk - kinda worried

she scrunched her brows, wondering when he was worried about anything.

[bearycloudy] why?

[readyplayergyv] so unlike u my lifelong goal isn’t being a hermit 

she was too quick to respond.

[bearycloudy] fuck off

[readyplayergyv] :/ anyway idk it’s weird meeting ppl when i haven’t in a bit yk just kind of used to how things are rn

she raised her brows.

[bearycloudy] ur going on a date too???

[readyplayergyv] nooo my friend said ‘casual meetup’ 5000000 times so idk not a date ig

she stared at her phone wondering what the fuck a ‘casual meetup’ was.

[bearycloudy] so like a group thing?

[readyplayergyv] nope

she stared at her phone harder.

[bearycloudy] sounds liek a date then

[readyplayergyv] nahh just hanging out

[bearycloudy] so it’s a date and ur at least getting blown in the bathroom then, hearing you loud and clear

[readyplayergyv] such a dick

she grinned.

[bearycloudy] thanks - that’s a compliment from you

she watched him typing for a moment and was expecting a paragraph.

[readyplayergyv] you could at least say something nice

she pouted. there were certain times when she felt like she hurt his feelings - this was definitely one of those times.

[bearycloudy] you’ll have a nice time - she’ll be super pretty and smart and all that

[readyplayergyv] and she’ll blow me …ha ha

[bearycloudy] would it be terrible if you got blown??

[readyplayergyv] i told you i’m getting back out there not trying to score

she sighed.

[bearycloudy] okay okay okay ..fr you will have a nice time and pleasant convo and you’ll shake hands at the end and exchange phone numbers all v v cute and above board

[readyplayergyv] and then she blows me

[bearycloudy] nooo saving that for date number 2 and then by date 4 she will want ur children 

[readyplayergyv] lwk hate u rn

[bearycloudy] ^^ no u don’t i’m ur fav gaming friend at least online i’m sure you have irl ppl who are cooler

[readyplayergyv] maybe but ur more fun always unhinged too

she laughed because she couldn’t deny that. she was unhinged when they were playing.

she checked the time and groaned. she had to leave. she swapped apps and booked a rideshare. she was more and more nervous.

[bearycloudy] what if it’s super weird and i hate it

[readyplayergyv] so that’s the thing ur actually worried about

[bearycloudy] shhhh i support you and your future filled with a million babies

[readyplayergyv] if it’s weird get a friend to call or text so you can duck out

[bearycloudy] all my friends think this is a gret idea tho

[readyplayergyv] u could ask me not liek this app doesn’t have a call feature

she chewed her lip lightly. she knew about the call feature. they used it fairly often. sometimes for gaming, sometimes while they were studying and needed to focus - something about knowing he was on the other end of her phone, wherever in the world, made it easier for her to focus. it was probably way too easy to call him.

[bearycloudy] yea but you’ll be busy falling in luvvvv or whatever

[readyplayergyv] u can always call me

she saw her car was approaching. she grabbed her bag and dashed out to meet it. once she was in the backseat and on her way, she sent him a quick message. 

[bearycloudy] ok ok if i absolutely have to i’ll ask

ˋ°•*⁀➷

she knew where they were meeting, this cute place with good drinks, decent food, and ping-pong tables. 

she had spent time picking out her outfit even. she hated that she was trying - it just made it feel more ominous than it already did. not to mention doing her makeup and shit she usually didn’t bother with normally. she was cute on a normal day too, but there was just that little bit of fluttering in her stomach that made her want to dress up a bit. maybe she would meet someone she liked. 

she waited outside - they were supposed to meet under the lighted tree. but as she walked towards it, she saw who was standing under it. 

she was instantly irritated. because really her friends were fucking demonic. 

mingyu. 

kim. mingyu. 

she would rather walk into oncoming traffic. 

which he seemed to notice since he jogged over to her. smiling. he was smiling - like this was some happy occasion. 

“hey,” he said, still smiling, although it was starting to falter. 

she stared at him for a moment before talking. 

“so who’s idea was this?” she tried to sound calm. there were people around them, and she hated drawing attention. 

she watched him start to fidget with the sleeve of his light-knit sweater. “mine,” he responded, like it were all normal. 

she grimaced, “yours?” she said in total shock.

he nodded, watching her closely.

she laughed, “okay, anyway, great joke - i’m going to leave now - this is - this is not happening,” she said, her mind flying in a thousand directions. 

they had had too many classes together. he was always a dick. he always critiqued her answers or made a point of showing off that ‘actually’ he was more informed. she had once cried in the bathroom between classes because it was so overwhelming to have someone always pointing out how she was misinterpreting or misunderstanding or was just fucking stupid. 

but this was beyond anything she could have imagined. she felt like she was vibrating with anger - at him - at her friends. 

and then he stepped closer. “please hear me out - just like five minutes, and if you still hate me, just go home and forget about it,” he whispered, everything about him seemed to be pleading with her. 

she glanced around and shrugged. “fine,” she groaned. she pulled out her phone and set a timer - five minutes. that was it.

she followed him over to a bench, so they were at least away from the small group outside the restaurant. 

“i know we don’t get along well in person,” he paused, looking worried, “i know you don’t like me in class or at parties or just in passing,” he trailed off. he was staring at the ground like it held the answer to whatever was wrong with him and his mushy brain. 

he finally looked up at her, “your bearycloudy and i’m”—

she smacked him. she couldn’t help it. she needed him to shut up. 

it wasn’t a full-out, open-palmed slap, but it made him pause and rub his cheek.

“so, i thought this would go differently because at least online we’re - we were friends, probably not anymore, though, i’m guessing,” he glanced at her, still rubbing his cheek. 

“this is the worst idea,” she started, and she saw his face fall. and it made her feel the same way it had earlier when she knew she had hurt his feelings. she took a deep breath. she didn’t like hurting his feelings, even if he was an absolute idiot.

 “we’re in public, and you’re telling me something that’s kind of a big deal,” she whispered tersely, “what were you thinking?” she hissed.

he still looked miserable. “i - how much i like you, all the time we spend chatting and talking, and when i saw your phone a few weeks ago, i knew i had to at least tell you,” he said softly. 

he was right about one thing - she was glad he had told her. but still. she closed her eyes tightly, “just - you thought this was going to go well?”

he shrugged, “we get along,”—

she cut him off. “yes, okay - yes - i admit that we get along online, but,” she paused, trying to find the right words - words that were less scathing, “mingyu, telling me out in public and thinking we’re just going to like get food and laugh over it,” she sighed. 

she could literally see him wilting by the moment. 

“okay, your five minutes in purgatory is up then,” he whispered. 

she shook her head. “that’s not what i meant,” she sighed and glanced around, looking for a place that looked less busy, less loud. she spotted a cafe with outdoor seating that was fairly empty. 

she grabbed his arm. “come on, doofus, let’s actually talk about this,” she mumbled as she pulled him along.

ˋ°•*⁀➷

the cafe was cute. she ordered coffee and a piece of cake. he paid. she didn’t even offer - she deserved cake just for the stupid way he handled this. 

they sat outside. she ate a few bites of cake, watching people pass by, listening to the sounds of cars and people - all just perfectly in the distance. 

she finally glanced at him. “first, you have to prove it - you have to prove we’ve been talking and this isn’t a prank.”

he stared at her, looking perturbed, and even though he was shaking his head, he opened his phone and handed it to her. and there was their running conversation. she flicked through it, sighing quietly. “fuck,” she exhaled. because there it was - there was every late night and early morning and whatever in between - their constant dialogue on any given day. 

she kept scrolling like it was going to disappear, “how long have you known?” she glanced up at him. 

“a few weeks - i didn’t know how to tell you - it’s not like it would just come up naturally,” he murmured. 

and it hit her how easily she recognized his voice. she had been gaming with him for - and her mind blanked. she ran a hand through her hair. they had been gaming since they were freshman. she stared out towards the street lights. they were in grad school. she had been gaming with her nemesis for a solid four years. at first, it was more like they were in the same group, but then they kept breaking off to the side. 

she glanced at him. he looked miserable. they had stayed up all night before gaming and chatting and talking. she knew about all his exams. stuff about his family that he randomly mentioned. 

“were you surprised?” she asked.

he nodded, staring at his coffee cup. “yeah, i mean, the more i thought about some things, it made sense - like that we always seemed to be studying for exams at the same time.” he glanced at her. “and then i just felt guilty that i knew, but i’m so used to talking to you,” he trailed off. 

she bit her lip gently, “and we talk like every day.”

he nodded.

she exhaled loudly, “okay, so now we know.”

he nodded again. he still looked miserable. 

she stood up. he looked up at her immediately, lips slightly parted. cute, she thought. so cute.

“let’s go drink - there’s a good bar place like a block over,” she sighed. 

she didn’t exactly wait for him to catch up, but she knew he would - he was like a foot taller than her. 

he fell into step with her easily. “so you aren’t just leaving?” he asked, his voice hesitant.

“no, because,” she groaned, “because if i do then we probably like drift apart and my gaming sucks and you know - gaming,” she mumbled under her breath, knowing it wasn’t about gaming. he was maybe her closest friend.

the place they went was this cute, hole in the wall, french place with amazing drinks and food. she went straight for the cocktails. he ordered a drink and food. she was on her third drink by the time the appetizers appeared. he was picking mains while she stole olives from his plate. she kept refreshing her drink whenever the waiter offered. 

“is this you processing?”

she nodded. “yep, one hundred percent,” she smiled. 

he watched her for a moment. “do you hate me?” he whispered.

she shook her head. “sometimes i wish we weren’t in the same program, but no - i don’t.”

he still watched her, “i like that we’re in the same program.” 

she covered her mouth when she laughed, “why?”

“because i have to try a lot harder when you’re around.”

she grinned, “i’d love to know what it’s like when you’re just phoning it in.”

“i wish i could undo whatever i did,” he blushed as he spoke. 

she felt his fingers brush against hers. she didn’t pull away; instead, she turned her hand over, offering it to him. she felt his fingertips trace the length of her fingers. 

“i love how slender your fingers are,” he whispered.

she nodded, “we should just fuck.”

his gaze snapped to hers, “what?”

she nodded, “yeah, we have crushes and whatever, we should just fuck it out, see what happens - then maybe we can try a cute date.”

“you’re joking,” he whispered.

she shook her head, “no, i’m really not - we’re friends and things have, without either of us meaning for it to happen, things have gotten very weird, and if we don’t fix it, we’ll both be unhappy.”

“and how does that lead to ‘we should fuck’?” he asked.

she shrugged, “it’s an obvious choice - physical closeness - releases endorphins, yada, yada, maybe it’s fun even - reduces anxiety.”

“fuck, you’re serious - you’ve been sitting there, thinking this over,” he whined.

“tell me i’m wrong - give me one reason,” she whispered, challenging him.

ˋ°•*⁀➷

they went to his since it was closer. 

they drank more there. she was glad she wore cute underwear, especially with the way he was manhandling her. he undressed her and picked her up, carrying her over to his sofa and dropping her gently. 

she was surprised when he was kneeling in front of her, kissing her inner thighs as he spread them farther and farther apart. and when he pulled her panties off in one swift motion, she was sure that little move was enough to make her wet. but then he was eating her, working his tongue deep inside her, his nose brushing her clit. 

he replaced his tongue with his fingers, “you’re so tight,” he murmured. 

“so work me open,” she whispered. 

“don’t want to hurt you,” he mumbled against her clit.

“come on, don’t you love the idea of wrecking my little, tight pussy with your big dick?”

he glanced up at her, smiling and sucking hard on her clit, teasing it with his tongue. he pulled back, though, giving her pussy a smack. she grinned at the feeling. 

he leaned over her, kissing her. “you’re so little compared to me,” he smiled, tracing a finger along her jaw. 

she smiled, nodding. “and you’re going to give me every bit of your dick, aren’t you?”

he nodded.

“promise?”

he nodded again, “promise, sweetheart,” he kissed her gently, “i’ll make you take every inch,” he smiled, smoothing her hair back from her face.

she hummed softly as they kissed - as the head of his cock started to tease her open. he was slow at first, working his hips gently. 

“fuck just give it to me, gyu” she moaned. 

and he did. it only took one quick motion for him to be buried inside her. her nails scraped over his shoulders and down his broad chest.

“feel good?” he asked.

she nodded, already feeling like she was floating, “fuck me like i’m a toy - your little doll,” she mumbled, her nails leaving little half-moon indents on his chest before she dropped her hands, letting her limbs feel limp. he fucked into her recklessly, just like she asked for. 

he flipped her over when he wanted, “my perfect doll,” he whispered as he pulled her back onto his cock, “taking me so well.”

she smiled softly as he pounded into her, every time, he was stretching her beyond anything she had tried before. even when she had once been brave and tried two dildos - he was still bigger. 

and when he came - when she felt it dripping down her inner thighs, she was happy then - happy and full since he was quick to push it back inside her, his thick fingers replacing his cock, and filling her gently as he pushed his cum deep inside her, making sure it went all the way in. she quivered happily at the feeling. 

he was kissing her softly, picking her up, and taking her to his room. he was good with aftercare. he cleaned her up and cuddled with her, making her feel safe and cared for.

she woke up slowly the next day, nuzzling close to him. even half awake, she could feel him petting her. 

after a few minutes, he spoke. “you know i have a second controller and stuff, right?”

she grinned, pressing a soft kiss to his throat, “you want to play a quick round and get some food?”

she leaned up, looking at him. he nodded.

“more than anything,” he whispered. 

she smiled and kissed him again.

a/n: ha uh like i said, i had thoughts - didn't know i would go into a doll kink, but mehh whatever - good thing they could get past their issues ^^

♡ kat

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seungcheol: knotting + marking | professor (prof. choi, pt. 1) | monster | spanking (neighbor seungcheol) | big dick + hate sex | forced masturbastion (prof. choi, pt ii) | voyeurism + punishment | coffee shop au + forbidden relationship (never let you go pt. 1) | bodyguard + drunk confession | anon sex + hair pulling + mask wearing | big dick!cheol + hate sex (choose your own adventure) | sexual frustration + ex sex |

mingyu: lingerie + praise kink | bed sharing + big dick | praise + worship kink | vehicle sex + oral fixation | drunk pda + no underwear | enemies to lovers + tentacles |

seungcheol & mingyu threesome: oral |

[ taglist ] ☁︎ @syluslittlecrows [e] ☁︎ @gyuguys [e] ☁︎ @tinyelfperson [e] ☁︎ @unlikelysublimekryptonite [e] ☁︎ @livelaughloveseventeen [e] ☁︎ @codeinebelle [e] ☁︎ @ateez-atiny380 [e] ☁︎ @mingcouper [e] ☁︎ @hanniebub [e] ☁︎ @perfectiondazesworld [e] ☁︎ @scoupshawty [e] ☁︎ @peachytokki [e] ☁︎ @halavia [e - drab/one/multi] ☁︎ @haik-chu [e - one/multi] ☁︎ @gigglensnort [e - one/multi/priv] ☁︎ @ninigyuuu [m - e, b.f. priv] ☁︎ @starlit-rin [m - one/multi, b.f.non] ☁︎

[magicalmanhattanproject]

Okay, so with Quackity Studios tweeting about adding new people and the need for tolerance and patience with people who don't speak English, let's just take a second and have a chat about what that's gonna look like.

First: you will hear things or read things on the translator that hurt or offend you.

This is inevitable. Do not immediately post about it. What you need tolerance for is hearing things that hurt or offend you and what you need patience for is figuring out of malicious intent was present or if this is a hill worth dying on right now.

As an example, we're pretty sure at this point that Korean is gonna be the next language added. The second person pronoun in Korean sounds a lot like the n-word in English. The n-word in English, if you're not aware, is like the single most offensive slur we have. It's not something that you want to hear unexpectedly. But also, if we get Koreans, they're gonna be using the word for "you" and English speakers are gonna have to be able to tolerate that.

On the other side of things, Korean has a complex system of honorifics and addressing someone without an honorific would be considered very forward and intimate at least if not very rude. None of the QSMP languages have honorifics though and only French really retains formality* so no one else is going to address them with honorifics unless they specifically explain it to people and walk them through it. That will probably be weird and uncomfortable for them and they're going to have to be able to tolerate that.

*Spanish and Portuguese do technically have formal vs informal but it's disappearing quickly in both of them.

These natural cultural clashes and pain points are going to be harder to overcome since we also know that at least some of these creators won't speak English at all so they can't just switch to English to helpfully explain things to us easily in a way we understand. We're going to have to deal.

So here's the thing: just because there can be cultural miscommunications and mistranslations, that doesn't mean that people can't also be assholes. How do you distinguish between the two?

Step One: Assume good faith. Assume that everyone in a given encounter is trying to communicate respectfully and compassionately and that a failure to do so can be overcome

Step Two: Don't get involved. Especially not in Twitch Chat. Two or more people trying to communicate through a language barrier does not get easier when they're also trying to wrangle hostile viewers.

Step Three: Are you sure you heard what you thought you heard or saw what you thought you saw? Did the translator fuck up? Is it a word that just coincidentally happens to sound like another word? If this is the case, the streamers can ask for clarification or use another tool and get it cleared up. Keep watching and see if they do.

Step Four: If they did say what you thought they said, are the streamers handling it? We had a thing a while back where Bad called some friends, including Bagi and Etoiles, uncultured because they didn't get a reference he was making and Etoiles was like "bro I'm French" and Bad apologized. That should have been the end of it, but I had to see people arguing about it for weeks. The problem was solved in 10 seconds.

Step Five: If the person is doubling down, are you sure this is something you can fix by yelling about it on Twitter or Tumblr? Would it be better to let people who actually know them talk to them behind the scenes? Pierre made a few missteps in the beginning of the server, Quackity said they had a chat, Pierre hasn't misstepped since. It's just easier to sort things out in private, one on one conversation than yelling at someone in public.

In short: it's fine to take note of behavior in case patterns start to emerge in it, but yelling on social media about how so and so is the worst person possible is not constructive.

[charliemwrites]

A Thought™️ that I had last night and shared in the Discord server, that I’m now going to share here more fleshed out.

Content: implied/mentioned dubcon, kidnapping, unhealthy relationship dynamics, objectification, and reader anxiety.

Oh and Simon being Mean.

You belong to Johnny — one of his toys, essentially. Like a cock ring or a vibrator but better because you also serve as a little companion pet. Someone that Simon got for Johnny to pour all that overflowing love and tenderness into when he just… can’t handle it. When he starts wanting to hurt Johnny in Very Bad ways past the lines they already walk, only because Johnny wants to dote on him.

So Simon got you as a gift for Johnny.

And he gets to dote on you, chatter to you, soothe you, fuck you. It’s a weird “relationship” you two have. Johnny pouring so much into you while you awkwardly try to reciprocate and tolerate. A bit like a child’s beloved long-suffering pet. Simon lets Johnny drag you everywhere, dress you up, babble on about you. Put in all that attention and energy when Simon is needed (or simply just focused) elsewhere. Johnny’s happy as a peach, Simon gets a bit of a break, and you’re a soft-spined thing that’s stopped crying and whining for the most part so wins all around.

You and Simon’s relationship is nonexistent. Just a matter of logistics. You’re one of Johnny’s toys that Simon got for him, end of. You interact with him only so far as 1, following the rules of captivity; 2, keeping Johnny happy; and 3, being used as a reward or punishment to be given or taken away.

And the two of you are respectively fine with that. You follow Johnny around, speak almost solely to or through him. Are not acknowledged by Simon unless Johnny’s showing you off.

Until Johnny is gone for a Period of Time. A mission, most likely.

While he’s away, you treat it as a sort of vacation and just avoid Simon, don’t even ask when Johnny will be back. Until one day you’re going about your business, kind of bebopping along in your own little world. And almost run directly into Simon.

Blink in surprise, hurriedly skirt around him, pulse skipping. “Excuse me,” you say, soft and melodic (a voice you specifically use to soothe and neutralize) and then pad away quickly.

It flips something in Simon’s brain. Like a cat seeing a bit of interesting movement. Locked on, tail swishing.

You’re just so… shy. Even with Johnny you’ve always been a bit reserved, but with Simon you studiously avoid eye contact with his very person - in a way he can’t even get Johnny to do in the deepest subspace. You’re just this quiet little thing that lives in his house, and it’s like it only just occurs to him.

Simon starts finding ways to hem you in against counters and walls, making you squeeze past in hallways. You try to be so so careful of his Sacred Personal Space because Johnny’s gleeful shared stories (and shown you evidence) about how Simon “handles” touching without permission. You’ve no interest in being on the receiving end of any of that, thank you very much.

But then Simon starts showing up all over the house to watch you like a specimen — you devoid of Johnny. You’re so normal and functional. Snacks and tv shows and novels. Bird watching in the windows. Napping in Johnny’s room. Cooking and cleaning up after yourself.

He starts taking up all the space you just got back. Fills up a room with his presence alone. Squishes you in on the couch until you’re nearly falling over the arm just to maintain that sliver of no-contact.

Gets to the point that he even growls at you when you pass too close, just to hear you squeak and watch you dart off with a mumbled, “sorry!”

“Make us a cup of tea,” he says as your futzing in the kitchen on morning.

You’re so used to being ignored that you don’t respond, mouthing words to some ditzy song stuck in your head. He grunts in annoyance and takes two long strides towards you — not that he needs to, your head snapped up halfway through the first.

“Oop,” you breathe, scrambling away from the counter.

“The hell are you going?” He ask, voice purposefully gruff.

“I, um… I thought… that you needed something…?” you explain, pointing at the cabinets you were just in front of.

“I need a fucking cuppa.”

You blink.

He reminds himself that you’re not trained like Johnny. But that doesn’t mean you’re getting away with anything.

“Do I need to spell it out for you?”

A double blink as you seem to process. “O-oh! Uh, sure. The black cup right?”

You shuffle back to your previous spot and reach into the cabinet, up on your toes because Simon put it a shelf higher than usual. Seem to actually be waiting for a response as you hold the mug up in question. He just stares.

And there goes the nibbling - a nervous habit that tears up your bottom lip. Still, you keep going, filling the kettle and tapping your fingers nervously at the sides as you wait.

“Earl Grey?” you ask.

He grunts. You look a little frustrated about that, if you should take it as a yes. Decide that it is and fish a sachet out while the water’s heating.

While you wait, you try to continue what you were doing before - making yourself a little parfait - but Simon’s stationed himself in such a way that you can’t get to the cutting boards without asking him to move. And you really, really want some of the fresh fruit he bought yesterday.

“Um…” you start.

He crosses his arms, seems to loom without ever taking a step closer. You fidget, fingers twisting in the long sleeves of your jumper.

“I need — could… could you…?” You’re flushing brighter and brighter, eyes darting all over so fast he’s surprised you’re not dizzy. “Could I get by… um, into that cupboard… please?”

He takes a single half step to the side. Your eyes actually get a bit shiny as you blink, confusion and anxiety welling up. But you keep it together enough to awkwardly angle yourself, get the cabinet open just a sliver, and maneuver a cutting board out.

Simon realizes you’re holding your breath the entire time, until you’re once again a safe distance away. He snorts softly as you pluck a tiny paring knife from the block and get to work on cutting up your assortment of fruits.

“Who the hell said you could have a knife?” he demands.

You pause, give him a truly baffled look. “Um… no one said I couldn’t? I just, uh, use them sometimes. Johnny’s taught me tricks. Or-or tried to anyway…”

It’s the most he’s ever heard you speak. Your tone catches between appeasement and genuine confusion. You finish cutting a strawberry into cubes, then send him a worried glance.

“Am I… not supposed to…?”

Because you know that it doesn’t matter how things normally are. What matters is how Simon wants things to be.

“Put that down.”

You do. He strides towards you and as always, you’re quick to make way. He takes up the knife to finish paring and jerks his head at the the stove.

“Tea’s almost done. Take care of it.”

You jump as the kettle starts to whistle, murmur a quick “oh, shoot!” as you hurry to finish making his tea. By the time you’re done, he’d cut all the fruit and stolen a handful as a toll for his “help”.

Hasn’t actually put any of the fruit in your waiting yogurt, though. And the dishes are still there on the counter, along with detritus of unwanted bits like strawberry tops.

He takes a sip — made just the way he likes.

“Next time, dont make me repeat myself,” he barks.

You jump nearly a mile, blueberries rolling across the counter.

“Y-you repeated yourself?” You ask, hurrying to catch the berries before they hit the ground.

“About the tea,” he explains impatiently.

You blink for a second. “Oh! I thought you were on the phone. Sorry.”

He grunts. And doesn’t leave. After a moment, the pressure of his stare seems to get to you.

“Was… there anything else…?” you wonder.

“I’d tell you if there was,” he replies, flat.

You swallow, press your lips together, then continue with your task, shoulders a little tenser than before. When your parfait is finished (and dishes are in the machine) you escape to the dining table to eat in peace. He gives you two solitary bites before he’s at the corner next to you, and your spoon clinks against the bowl in surprise.

Well.

Isn’t this a fun game?

Next

Masterlist

[hoshigray]

Now look here, it's sugardaddy! x sugar baby! reader time >>:3 So here's the rundown: the reader is a college senior who works part-time in a diner and finds out that their favorite customer, Toji, is a sugar daddy and wants to initiate courtship. Although it is a proposition you fail to see yourself saying no to, is this something you can see yourself being in the long run?

A/n: This prompt was picked on a poll to celebrate getting over 50 followers, only for me to get to 100 right after!!?? Y'all...can I give you a hug? ;w; No, oh okay. Anyways, I won't make another poll, BUT I'll be opening thirsts/requests soon!! >:D I just gotta make myself a disclaimer list before we let those lil fantasies of yours fly, lol. But yeah, this is my first time posting a fic over 1k+, so I hope y'all like it. Also, bonus: there's art drawn by Moi (@hoshigaby)?? You'll have to scroll down to find it tho :33 Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead and read!!!

Cw: soft dom! Toji x fem! reader - implied age gap (the reader is in their early 20s, Toji's around early or mid-30s) - mating press - cervix fucking - oral (fem! receiving) - pussy drunk Toji - breeding - daddy kink - overstimulation (fem! receiving) - pet names (baby, babygirl, darlin', good girl, honey, kid/kiddo, mama, princess, sweetie, sweetheart) - praise - clitoral play (Toji pinches your clit) - reader isn't a virgin but, it's the first time you and Toji have sex.

Wc: 4.9k

"Oh look, your favorite is here."

10 o'clock, it's closing time. All the servers and bussers are ready to buss down tables and sweep the floors, hosts at the front split up tips and head straight home, and the cooks clean the kitchen and throw out the trash. All there's left is the silence of the dining area, where not a single customer is in sight.

Well, minus the one Utahime points out to you.

You turn to the bar area, where almost all the tables are empty, and all the high-rise televisions are turned off. All but for one, which was showing a football game.

A man is watching the screen, sitting in a booth at the far end with a glass of beer on the table. He's wearing a black turtleneck covered with a denim jacket, white fur on the collar, and a silver chain contrasting the black clothing. You gaze downwards to his black jeans pants, where his left foot seems to be tapping the ground. He's waiting for someone.

Once his eyes catch your approaching figure, his deadpanned face shows a smile in recognition. He was waiting for you.

And you smile back as you walk towards him.

The familiarity with this man comes from a year working at the diner. His name is Toji Fushiguro, and he's been a regular even before you started working here. And to make things funnier, he was the first customer you served after a week and a half of training. You can recall when you accidentally put milk and sugar in his specifically requested black coffee, to which you apologized profusely ("Heh, it's alright, darlin'" He flashed a smile that was meant to reassure you. "The first time that's ever happened to me.").

It was there that you found yourself being the only person that's served him. At first, you thought of it as some sort of joke after the coffee mishap, but now, unless you're there to take his order, he'll only have a beer or black coffee with all the other servers. The crew often pokes fun at you, stating you're the older man's favorite. And you gotta admit, it makes your heart swoon knowing this is true.

"There she is," Toji watches you approach him with his foot finally stopped tapping the checkered floor beneath him. "My adorable lil' server."

You giggle as you sit on the cushioned booth seat across from him. "It's good to see you, Mr. Fushiguro. I hope life's been good for you." You wave goodbye to the guy behind the bar counter, who turns off the TV still on as Toji focuses on something else. You promised to be the last person to turn off the lights and lock the doors before leaving, so now it's just you and Toji.

"I thought I told you to drop the Mr. Fushiguro, kid." He reprimands you with his playful smile, the right corner of his lip quirking his scar upward. "And I could ask you the same thing. How's college goin', darlin'?"

An exaggerated sigh leaves your system. "It's going alright. Can't believe I'm about to be done after the next semester, but the senioritis hasn't hit me too strong yet, thank God. And I can't wait to graduate with all this debt on my back~!" You flash the fakest beaming smile with two thumbs up.

Toji chuckles at your fraud enthusiasm. "Mmmm, I bet. But I know you're smarter than me and most people who work for me, so I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"Yeah, I'd like to think so, too." Your chipper attitude dwindles, and Toji notices the change in tone.

"What's up? You don't think you'll get yourself a job?"

"Umm, well," You cough to clear your throat from awkwardness. "I tried signing up for plenty of internships. Some of them shut me down, others just haven't replied back. And I guess it's just me overthinking, but I worry that I won't get a job in something I like..."

"Aww, princess," Toji rises from his cushioned spot to move to your side, sitting close to you with his big jean-covered thigh brushing yours. He places a hand on your back to rub comforting circles. "That's just the thoughts in your head."

You groan into your hands. "I know, that's why I don't know why I'm beating myself up about it so much... But it's okay! I know I'll be fine because I still have this job keeping me going for a year."

Toji raises a brow. "You wanna be a server all your life? Wanna serve me my black coffee and BLT sandwich til my last breath?"

You hit his chest in amusement. "Well, no, but if it comes down to it, I don't mind. I'll just take up more jobs or maybe make a side hustle. Either way, I know Mei Mei will help me out. I'm sure everyone here will if they have the chance."

"I could also help you."

Your hands instantly go up defensively. "No, Mr. Fushiguro, I wouldn't want that! I'm sure you're pretty busy, and I don't want my troubles to burden you."

Toji's eyebrows knit together, his sharp eyes surveying your defensive stance. "It wouldn't be trouble if I'm the one offerin' to help you, honey."

"Yes, but even so..." You look at your lap as your fingers dance with each other to ease your anxiousness. "It would feel unbefitting to have a customer — a valuable one such as you — to help me with my financial problems. Seeing you smile at me when I serve you your coffee...I'm perfectly content with just."

Your gaze locks into your fidgety fingers, saying the last part was probably unnecessary. Yet it was true; Toji had always been patient with you whenever he stopped by, even going the extra mile by giving you a seriously generous tip after his meals. You know you didn't deserve it, but he's already at the door before you can argue with him. If his gracious action was just a mere small percent of what he could do, then he's done plenty for you than needed.

Toji, however, didn't see it that way. He hums as he leans back onto the booth seat, his hand now snaking to the back of your neck, his thumb caressing the nook of your neck and trapezius.

"Well," He breaks the silence, you're listening. "What if we take this outside of customer service?"

The brows are pulled together as you turn to him in slight confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

"I've been thinking for quite a while," with his hand maneuvering to rest on your shoulder, he sighs and straightens himself up. "Your manager, Mei Mei, right? I talked with her not too long ago, telling her how much of a hard worker you are and how even while still in school and suffering with assignments, you still smile and make sure the customers enjoy their time here."

You give him a thanks, and he continues on. "Which is why I told her about what I wanna do. So here's my proposition: I'll pay for everything for you. Your debt, bills, clothes, whatever it is your pretty lil' head is worryin' 'bout."

Toji's promise does sound comforting to the ears, but you think about your part in all this. "So, do I have to work for you?"

He chuckles. "No, baby, not working fr' me. But there is something I want you to do."

"Yes?"

Toji doesn't give you a clear answer, staring at your face with a soft smile. You wonder why he's being odd until his face leans forward, and the hand on your shoulder pushes you into a kiss. You let out a yelp into his mouth, but the shock diminishes once you succumb to his warm, intoxicating lips. He tastes like beer, definitely from his drink.

He removes his lips from you, and you faintly exhale in an unsteady breath. "Mmmm, yer too much fr' me, sweetie." Toji groans and kisses down your neck while you place a hand on his chest to grip his turtleneck for support before you dissolve into his arms. And although you shouldn't be at your work at this time of night doing this, it felt too good to end.

"I want you to be with me," Toji says in-between smooches on your neck, moving to paint the other side with his pecks. "You're so good to me, darlin', always being such a good girl." He nibbles on your clavicle, and a soft gasp rewards his eardrums. "Lemme take care of you, y/n."

All that's going through your head is the feeling of his lips on your body and the arousing throbbing sense happening in your nether core.

"Hmm, whaddya say, baby?" His lips are too close to your ear as he playfully bites the lobe. Your thighs rub against one another, and you know there's a wet spot in your panties. "Gonna be my perfect girl?"

If you don't give him an answer quick, you're bound to melt right on this seat, and being a whimpering mess to his touch is embarrassing enough.

"Haaaah...Y-yes," You finally answer in weak whispers, mind spinning and eyes glossy. "I wanna—Ahaaa...I wanna be yours."

You can feel Toji's lips curl into a smile. He lifts his head to look at you, and a hand comes up to cup your face before he gives you a soft kiss on your quivering lips.

"My good girl."

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A few months have passed since you and Toji formed this new relationship. And getting used to certain things is still a challenge.

For one: covering up your new lifestyle is never easy when you're out with people you know. During winter break, you went to dinner with your friends and offered to pay for the whole table. They looked at you as if you were talking nonsense ("Girl, where the hell you get that kind of money to be covering for all of us?" "For real, is this the same diner you've been working at? Are they hiring?").

Another thing that wasn't easy to get accustomed to was Toji spoiling you. Since you're a college student, Toji only sees you every other weekend when he has time. During those days, Toji doesn't hold back in showering you with gifts and affection. Between the fancy dates in expensive restaurants, riding rides at fun amusement parks, or the bags of new clothes you bring back to your dorm, it was something you didn't expect to happen so quickly. Your roommates constantly tease you about this "mystery man" who makes it known you're his special lady.

But outside of that, the most significant change was you and Toji. To say you two got closer was too easy to put into words. Sure, the money was there, so you could finally get a good night's rest without worrying too much about your school debt or bills. However, you knew this went beyond the dollar bills and the fancy clothes.

Come to find out, Toji knows and remembers things that amaze you. There was a time he bought you a whole wardrobe worth of dresses because he remembered you had to cancel dates with your friends since you had nothing cute to wear. Or the time he got you a box of your favorite teas, even though you briefly mentioned them to him during a talk way back from recollection.

And even away from the materialistic things, you can feel how much Toji loves you. You can feel it in his eyes whenever he's looking at you. You can feel it when you try to argue yourself out of trying an outfit you don't think will be good on you, but Toji coaxes you into it because he knows — not thinks, knows you'll look good wearing it. You can feel it in his hands when they hold yours, when he places a hand on your thigh and rubs it in loving warmth, or when he caresses your cheek when he kisses you goodbye when you two have to return to your own lives.

It's a type of love you didn't see yourself being on the other end of. The more immersed you are, the harder it is to imagine yourself out of it.

Spring break is now upon us, and Toji has invited you to join him overseas for a business trip. You tried to decline, saying it's his trip and you don't want to intrude on his business. That argument was immediately shut down ("Tch, believe me, sweetheart, you're saving me from bashing someone's head in if you're close to me than not. Plus, I wanna see you wear that cute swimsuit I got you."), so he dragged you on his private jet, and now we're here.

During the day is when he's away for work, so you spend the morning either in the penthouse suite you two are staying in, outside taking pictures to show Toji later or looking around at the little shops nearby. Toji is done with work around the early afternoon, so you two spend time together exploring the country, trying new foods, and taking walks around the area while talking about how your day went until the sun goes down.

Everything goes well until Thursday when Toji texts you saying something happened at work and that he'd be at the suite later than usual. Well, it's 7:45, the sun is starting to go down, and Toji is still nowhere in sight. I hope everything is alright on his end.

You're unsure about going outside for a walk on the off-chance you stay out too late. And if something happens to you while Toji isn't close by, that'll give him more to worry about on his plate, and you definitely don't want that for him.

So, you look around the penthouse to see if there's anything to keep you occupied until Toji's return, and then what catches your eye is the swimming pool outside on the terrace which you haven't tried yet. That'll do!

You go to change into a swimsuit, a cute two-piece that Toji bought for you when you two went shopping together. After a quick shower, you enter the pool and enjoy the calm waters while watching the sunset, leaving a beautiful array of colors painting the sky over you.

Tomorrow is your last day here while Toji will do business, and then you're back to school on Monday. The fact that you'll be graduating debt free still blows your mind. Toji really fulfilled his promise and took care of your worries.

Is that to say that your relationship ends once you touch that diploma?

You lift your feet and lay on your back to allow the water to hold you up, ears covered in the water and face looking into the sky as you're lost in your thoughts.

It wouldn't be too far off if Toji wanted to close this whole thing off when you graduate, as the point was for you to not worry about debt and such. That much you understood from the very beginning. But what happens after that? Do you two just go back to being acquaintances that only meet at the diner? And what about the stuff he got you? Do they stay with you forever? And do you have to fight memories of him every time you see them?

What about all the touches, all the hand-holding, all the cuddles, and all the kisses? Are they supposed to mean nothing to you the next time you see his face?

You're thankful for the water keeping you afloat in the pool, but having these thoughts attack your brain just makes you want to sink in loathing.

Until you feel something tickle your feet, having your body react in a state of panic. No longer floating on your back, you search for whatever is torturing your feet. Only to find Toji in front of you wearing black trunks, he chuckles lowly, and your heart sinks in embarrassment.

"T-Toji," You swim up to greet him. "How long were you back from work?"

"For about 10 minutes," He watches you move through the water, following you to sit in the shallow part of the pool for you two to talk. "I saw you in the pool and thought I'd join. I tried callin' out to ya, but the water was blocking your ears."

"Hehe, sorry about that. I was thinking about something. How was work?"

His face went into a deep scowl with rolled eyes, and you giggle at his nonverbal response. "Had I not known I was comin' back here to see you, I'd probably fucked that rookie up."

"That bad?"

He hums and brings you closer to him with his hand on your shoulder. "But don't worry 'bout it. And you? What were you thinking about?"

"Hmm? Oh, it was nothing," your encouraging response is fictitious.

Toji lowers a brow. "Try again."

"No, honest! It was nothing, Toji."

"Don't make me tickle you again, kiddo." You freeze and look at his face. His sharp gaze and slight grin speak for themselves about his seriousness.

A sigh is withdraw from your lips. "I was just thinking about how I'd be leaving on Saturday and being halfway done with my senior year of college."

"And?"

"And, uhh," You gulp and avert your eyes to your lap, your fingers swaying with the pool water. "I was also thinking about me... and you?"

There's silence, the lack of response eating you alive. Then you feel Toji's hand grip your shoulder.

"Are you scared I won't be with you after you graduate?"

He hit the nail because you don't answer for a few seconds. Your eyes still avoid him.

But Toji still persists. "Do you not want to be with me?"

Your head turns to face him in haste, taking you aback at how fast you were. "No! I don't want this to end. I'm grateful for how close you and I have become. I want... I want..." You fall silent once more as your head moves back to your lap as if you'd find the words you want to express lying there.

Using his free hand, Toji grabs your chin to look his way again. "What do you want, baby? Use your words fr' me."

The intense gaze of his jade-green eyes captures your attention, practically daring you to look away from him. The warmth of your cheeks spreads around your face, and you gulp before answering.

"I really appreciate all that you've done for me. And I...I really like you, Toji. I want to be with you." His face doesn't change as you ramble on, causing you to move your eyes to avoid the awkward stare. "But I wouldn't blame you if you want to stop with where we—"

Your sentence was interrupted by Toji's kiss, and a squeak was suppressed between the two lips. You exhale in bliss as your hands find purchase on his solid chest. He deepens the kiss when his hand is posted at the back of your neck.

You break the kiss to breathe, Toji's gruff chuckles fills the warm air.

"You're too adorable, princess. Do you really think I'd want to let my precious girl away from my sight?" You open your mouth to interject, but Toji lifts your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing each knuckle. "Listen here, darlin'. I didn't offer to take care of your debt on a whim. I adore the fuckin' shit out of you, and I was gonna wait til your graduation to ask if you'd still want this thing to be official."

"But now that I hear you're interested," his big hand holds yours, fingers intertwined as his thumb brushes your forefinger. "Are ya up for it?"

You breathe slowly to ease your heart, beating at an irregular tempo. You grip his hand in return and offer a sheepish smile.

"Yes. I'd like that very much, Toji."

He smirks and kisses your cheek. "Good girl." Toji has his arms placed behind your back and under your legs. Then he stands up while picking up your figure bridal style. He grins hard when you squeal in surprise as your arms sling around his neck.

"Let's shower," he walks out of the pool and into the suite. "And then afterward, I'll show you how much I've been itchin' to make you be my girl for real."

The heat on your face grows tenfold, and Toji barks a laugh when you hide your face. You can only mentally pray for yourself for what's to come.

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That little prayer did absolutely nothing!

Now you're lying on the bed nude and wet from the shower as the water droplets on your body slide down to the satin sheets beneath you. Your hands cover your mouth, trying to suppress the moans and sobs from exiting your lips.

And the cause of this is the man currently nestled between your legs. You can see the raven hair between your inner thighs, but you feel a wet muscle lapping around your vulva. The lewd noises of Toji eating you out fill the room and has you writhing in discomfort, and you try to slowly move your lower region away from his ravaging mouth.

"Aht aht, you're not goin' anywhere, mama." Toji's rough hands grip your waist and pull you back down, his nose brushing your clit as you jerk upwards. He lifts his head to look at you, and the image of your slick smeared all over his mouth and chin almost makes you faint.

"Put those hands down, baby. Let Daddy hear that sweet voice of yours." He uses one hand to play with your pussy, middle and forefinger abuse your inner lips as his thumb grinds down on your sweet bud. Your eyes shoot up for the stars, and you're forced to do what he says, hands gripping the sheets while your cries are out for him to hear.

"Aahhhh!! Haaah, T-Toji!! 'S too much, too—Ooohh!" His tongue returns between your cunt, licking and tasting the sticky fluid coating your pussy. Your eyes are watering, your mind starts to feel dizzy, and your legs can't stay still to save your life. He's been doing this for 15 minutes!!

You clutch his hair and wail out his name in pleasure, earning a moan from Toji as his grip on your thighs gets tighter.

He can tell you're close to finishing, so he helps you. His tongue slides from your wet center to your clitoris, licking and sucking on the extremely sensitive bud, his teeth lightly pressing down on the pearl.

Your release comes instantly, and your walls spasm as you cry in pure euphoria. Your head pushed deep into the pillow below you, letting your body finish reacting to the climax. However, Toji doesn't wait for you when his mouth drinks your essence. His tongue attacked your sore velvety walls, having you gasp for air.

When he's done, he finally withdraws from between your legs and kneels before you, taking in your disheveled figure. Your tear-stricken face and hooded eyes peer up at him as he wipes his face of your excess come, licking the rest from the back of his hand.

Toji snickers hoarsely. "Sorry, sweetheart, you tasted so fuckin' good I couldn't help myself. Besides," you watch his hands trail down to his dick as he places himself on your messy vagina. "Gotta get you prepped up fr' me."

He puts a pillow under your lower back to raise your hips more. Seeing his dick for the first time has you in mental turmoil. Toji notices you looking and sneers, pulling your hips to him so his balls practically kiss your opening, his dick on full display on your lower abdomen. The girth alone has your cunt pulsating in anticipation, and good God, the length of that thing. It's not the first dick you've seen in your life, but it's definitely the biggest challenge you've come across.

I hope those 15 minutes of prep were enough.

You come back to your senses when you feel the tip of his hefty member circling the corners of your folds, and your slick aids him as a lubricant.

"Ready, babygirl?" You exhale a nervous breath and nod for confirmation. "Okay, we're gonna start real slow."

Toji began to push the tip in, your folds being spread open to accommodate the foreign object intruding into your tight hole. You close your eyes and hold your breath, the pain worsening by the second. You take one breath, and Toji pushes further. With another breath, he goes further. Another-

A giant gasp takes over you as the tip of Toji's cock enters you. And Toji takes his time pushing himself further into you, using every fiber of his being not to rut into your tight walls off the jump.

"Haaah, hmmm, oh fuck," That's easier said than done with you gripping onto him like your life depended on it. Once he's pushed his whole cock into you, your words come out as a babbling mess, gripping his arms for support. He looks down at your disarranged self, chuckling at such a wonderful sight. "You look really fuckin' sexy layin' under me, baby."

"God...Toji," Tears stream down your cheeks, wincing at the pain down south. "'S too muuu-ch, too big for—Hnnngh!!" A sudden thrust of the hips has you biting down on your bottom lip.

"C'mon now, I thought I told you about that. I already let it slide once or twice." Toji places your legs on his shoulders and leans close to you, his body weight adding onto yours as the base of his cock grinds into your sex. "What's my new name, mama?"

"Ah!! I'm sorry, Daddy." The title comes through sobs.

Toji grins from ear to ear, wiping your tears with his calloused fingers. "Good girl," he kisses your forehead as you adjust to his girthy length. "So fuckin' pretty fr' Daddy." He takes your lips with his soft ones before moving his hips in a slow yet rough rhythm.

The mating press has your body submit to him, taking in his cock as it sinks deep into your swollen core. And it only gets worse when his pace gets faster, hitting your sweet spots accurately. At this rate, you're bound to cum earlier than necessary.

Then you feel his tip abruptly touch your cervix, and the wail you let out is picked up by Toji's ears. "Oh? Think I found what I was lookin' for." His hips grind deep in you, his tip abusing your poor cervix to the point you speak in tongues. "Feelin' good, princess?"

"Fuck, Daddyyyy, please, I'm-Ahaaah, Ohhh!" His irrational pace has your brain turning to mush, his cock bullying your insides. The sound of his balls slapping against your squelching folds has you squeezing him harder. "I'm gonna cu-cumm!!"

Toji hisses into your ear, the tone of his voice dominating your senses. "Oooooh, don't grip on me like that, sweetie. Gonna end up — Mmmph! Shit, shit, shit, shit...Gonna give you a baby."

You reach to cup his face through watery eyes glazed in a haze. "Please, Daddy, I want it," You know you're talking nonsense, but why care when you're feeling this fucking good. "Inside, I want it, inside!"

"Heh, be careful with what you wish for, mama." He kisses you again as his hips become erratic, and he moves a hand to your clit and pinches it, whining into your mouth when you're cunt clutches onto him one final time.

You cum around his cock and push your head back on the pillows, your gushy walls spasming around his length, prompting Toji to cum inside you after a few more thrusts. You two moan into each other's mouths, riding each other's high until your bodies calm down.

The two of you pant heavily once the kiss is broken apart, and his deep emerald orbs take in your dazed expression. He smiles when he notices drool on the side of your mouth, using a thumb to wipe it off for you.

"My sweet darlin'," Toji kisses your cheek and sighs deeply into your embrace. "You're too good fr' me, baby."

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"Did I say that I want your babies?"

You're resting with Toji, your head relaxed on his chest as you sit between his legs. The television in the bedroom plays an episode of a sitcom, anything for you two to look at and enjoy a moment of peace together.

He snickers at your question, his chest rising and falling as you lay on him feels nice. "Yeah, you kinda did."

"Wow, that sex must've screwed something up in my head."

"Yeah, my dick had you wanting to risk it all." He snorts when you playfully hit his arm. "Don't worry, we can find some plan b in the morning."

Turning to face Toji, still watching TV, you furrow your brows. "We? What about work?"

"I have tomorrow off. It's your last day, and I don't feel like going back to work, or else I'll be sour all fuckin day. Much rather spend it with you than with some morons."

You look at Toji for a little longer before you smile and kiss his cheek, catching the older man off guard as you nestle into his warm body. "Thank you, Toji. For everything."

The thanks carry a deeper meaning. Not a single ounce of doubt clouds your mind now that you've gotten the closure you wanted. Thinking about how your life brought you to this moment, you're happy with your decision to pursue this relationship and more. And it's thanks to this man for making it possible.

Toji still stares at you before he scoffs and kisses your temple.

"No problem, kiddo."

[jakei95]

[Post in English] Something Nyx and I want to publicly address, regarding the recent allegations in the Glitchtale Crew's Discord Server and it's moderators. I really apologize for the upcoming wall of text. These are our Twitter threads I have pasted them here, in case you don't have access to said platform. I have also added some additional notes to provide more context. All details under the line:

NyxTheShield: (Transcription from his official twitter thread) I read some mean comments lately and I just wanna be super clear: I havent been related to Glitchtale since at least 2022. I never considered myself part of the community and went through some much shit while doing stuff for it that my mental health was completely destroyed.

For people who thought I was an admin of the server, that was just in paper. I was constantly de-admin'd, demodded and kicked from the server through the years for simple stuff like asking the rest of the mod team to not say slurs or standing up against the Midnight Crew. I personally left the server for a long while because I really did not want to be around some of the people there. All of this happened years ago (from 2016~ to around 2020). On the early years, my full income came from Youtube/Glitchtale. I was a broke college student and my economic stability depended on it. Despite this, and making literally hundred of tracks and hours of music for the series, most of the income came from my own ad revenue. I was paid less than 2000 USD for all of the work. Essentially, I was paid in exposure.

This wouldn't have been an issue for me if at least I got to keep my artistic vision with the series. That didn't hold true for long.

From the second season and onwards, and in multiple instances, I would score the entire OST for the episode, watch the episode when it released, and then find out a completely new section of the episode (usually a battle scene) with music from somebody else This was completely demotivating to me because I wasn't being paid, the tracks would not fit the rest of the OST at all, and most of the income I made from the battle scenes. I had to work for weeks trying to compose music for glorified powerpoint presentations (Basically everything that's not a battle scene on the series was just still frames of characters barely moving) and do all the heavy lifting and I wasn't even let known about the guest tracks.

This added to the feeling of having absolutely no power within the community. I don't know if this was intentional or not (I don't wanna presume malice), but all of these things together contributed to me distancing myself from the community.

Honestly, there is A LOT more shit that went down these early years that are extremely traumatic to me that I would prefer to not talk about unless completely necessary, but I feel this is a good amount of context for what I wanna talk about next.

As you might be aware, extremely serious (and true) allegations were made against Camila and his partner, Veir, which was accused of grooming minors from 2015 to 2021 There are really good videos out there explaining the entire timeline of what transpired, but I specifically wanna talk about 2020.

(Jakei's note: Links to said videos are here: [1] [2] [3])

In that year, a public document was made by my head mod CrystalFlame alongside 2 other mods in the GT server, that exposed Veir and their actions. This document went mostly unnoticed. Even more, Crystal went through a lot of abuse for coming forward about their abuse and was almost ostracized from the UT AU community because of this.

Because of this, I was asked directly by one of the victims (and also representing the other victims) to please not speak up (Citing that they just wanted to move on and didn't want to involve themselves with more problems and expose themselves)

All the info was kept very vague from me, including the people who were involved, the extent of the stuff that went down, etc But I knew enough to know it was serious. I followed their request and didn't speak up publicly about this, but I banned Veir from my server, warned all of my mods and people close to me in those circles about Veir, and constantly tried to get Camila to please adress the situation. Despite this, she did not listen and we all know how stuff went down later in 2022, where the allegations came back again with full force. This time around I wasnt asked to stay silent so I spread the word around and confronted the entire mod team. I was shortly banned after that.

I needed to address this because this thing has been eating me alive for years. I was intentionally kept in the dark about a lot of context and nuance that would have completely changed my mind about speaking up or not about what happened in 2020.

Everything is easier in retrospective, and with the knowledge I now have about the situation I know for a fact that I would have spoken up about all that happened. But being asked directly to not speak up by the victims was something that goes against what I am Sorry for the long rant, but I really needed to get this off my chest. I am tired of having to deal with this kind of stuff. As a content creator/public figure I am trying my hardest to keep the communities I am active in as safe as possible.

I feel I could have done more for the Glitchtale community regarding the grooming situation, but all of the years of abuse that I endured really fucked up my judgement. I am not very good at dealing with people and I always trust the people close to help me for this kind of stuff

Sadly, in this case, those same people who were close to me were also the victims, so they couldnt have known or had a way to help me out, I should have helped them instead. Most if not all of what was described in this thread is backed up by screenshots, chat logs, and direct testimony from the people who were involved during this time.

I don't want to direct hate to anyone or start a witchhunt, I am doing this purely to decompress a bit and try to vent some of the trauma I experienced all these years.

============================================

Jakei: (Transcription from my official twitter thread) I would also like to share my experiences about my relationship with the Glitchtale Creator, Camila Cuevas. Publicly, we appeared as close friends, but in reality, that friendship was based on bullying and mistreatment, and this affected my mental health deeply.

Years have passed, and the memories still cause me pain. I decided to remain silent, but after the revelations of grooming cases in her community, I realized I wasn’t being too sensitive. The time has come to speak up about my experiences.

During the early years of Underverse, I was dealing with a serious depressive episode. Simultaneous internal and external pressures as an independent artist amplified my mental strain. Meeting Camila felt like finding a genuine friend who shared my passion for the fandom and understood the struggles of being a content creator amidst toxicity. At my lowest, I became compliant to doing things that I didn’t want to, just to keep people around me happy. For Camila, this meant allowing her to belittle my work and make me the butt of her jokes.

Only our veteran followers may remember the 'roasting games' between us on Tumblr (consisting of mutual insults), a spectacle where she'd always win. However, it was a game she privately forced me to "play" and I ended up accepting, despite the discomfort it caused me. These 'games' would give her a cool and strong image in the fandom while painting me as the dumb, 'cringe-worthy' friend. In essence, I became her personal punching bag, unknowingly reinforcing his reputation.

Camila's favorite term to demean my series 'Underverse' was “Cancerverse”. It felt like a constant contest where she'd always position herself as the superior writer and animator simply because my story and animation techniques didn't fit her standards. Years of being subjected to her ridicule left my self-esteem in ruins. I was okay with the negative feedback by some fans, but when my 'friend' publicly disrespected my art, it made me question my abilities as an artist.

I can't deny there were times when she gave me advice to deal with hate or hurtful comments. However, her damaging comments and treatment outweighed those moments of support.

My depressive state worsened around July 2017, where I had accepted people pushing me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with, while being part of Camila's demeaning games, just to appease her ego. I was introduced to Nyx during this time, he offered his music for my series, and eventually we started dating. We met in person in Chile, where I also met Camila. I hoped our friendship would strengthen but everything felt the same. Before I moved to Chile with Nyx, Camila reached out to me in dms, attempting to turn me against him because he opposed the use of slurs in the GT server. She claimed Nyx was being 'brainwashed' by his American friends belonging to the black and LGBTQ+ communities. She made fun of my dating choices, suggesting I was entering a toxic relationship, while showing off her relationship with her then-boyfriend (later exposed as a pedophile). She even quoted her own mother assuring me that Nyx would 'get back to normal', and if it didn’t happen, she would let me live in her house, almost like if she was telling me that Nyx would hurt me or make me feel miserable.

It only took Nyx 3 months to realize that the GT server was going in the wrong way. I initially felt compelled to defend Camila due to my inferiority complex, but soon realized Nyx was right. (Jakei's note: Not only Nyx was right, a lot of people that called her out over the years were right, yet they were not listened to at the time)

Even then, I found it difficult to distance myself from Camila due to the false sense of obligation I felt towards her. My fear of her making fun of my work kept me from interacting with others in the short period of time I stayed in her Discord server. I was afraid that she and her echo chamber would talk behind my back, something that I found out was happening in private chats until recent years.

Rebuilding my self-esteem wasn't an easy task. I began noticing the red flags – Camila's lack of respect not only for me but Nyx also, the emotional manipulation Nyx was suffering from Veir (something he used to do all the time with his other victims), her attempts to 'roast' me in front of her family and fans in the Underverse/Glitchtale meetings, and her constant criticism of my artstyle not being compatible to hers in the few collabs we made.

All these 'small' instances, dismissed as insignificant by many, caused me immense pain while treating my depression. I felt it was too late to express how I felt, as I feared being labeled as attention-seeking or oversensitive by her and her fanbase. Ironically, the moment she talked about her traumas after being bullied in the past, her feelings were the only ones that mattered any time she was involved in a problematic situation in the fandom and deserved to be the only to get pats in the back.

I never expected a sincere apology, as I was convinced she didn't remember or didn't care about the hurt she caused. I tried to maintain a facade of good terms with her, both publicly and privately. Eventually, I distanced myself from her, unfriending her and banning her from my own server even if she didn't interact there. I started focusing on my own work and the people who appreciated it. Despite this, the aftermath of the bullying continued to affect me.

Everything fell into place when the grooming accusations against her former boyfriend and server mods came to light. It was a shocking revelation, but it validated all my doubts and fears about her. The purpose of sharing my experiences is not to stir up drama, but to address the concerns of those worried about my association with Camila. I want to make it clear that I will never tolerate such behavior. Although the things I did for her in the past cannot be erased, I hope Camila at least deletes the animation remake I did for her and all the collabs that boosted her views for free, though I'm not optimistic about it happening.

As I've matured, my hope is that she and her crew learn from their mistakes, start behaving like adults, and take responsibility for their actions in their future projects and with their new followers. But I'm skeptical about any real change, especially if their server continues to exist. The best course of action for me was to cut all ties with Camila and Glitchtale.

NyxTheShield (now my husband) and I have endured too much from our treatment by Camila. We no longer want to be associated with her or Glitchtale. It's a chapter of our lives that we wish to close. It's time for us to focus on recovering our mental health, as remaining silent is only prolonging our pain. We have been working to improve our mental and physical health over the past few years and this is a crucial part of our healing process.

[machine-saint]

the op of that "you should restart your computer every few days" post blocked me so i'm going to perform the full hater move of writing my own post to explain why he's wrong

why should you listen to me: took operating system design and a "how to go from transistors to a pipelined CPU" class in college, i have several servers (one physical, four virtual) that i maintain, i use nixos which is the linux distribution for people who are even bigger fucking nerds about computers than the typical linux user. i also ran this past the other people i know that are similarly tech competent and they also agreed OP is wrong (haven't run this post by them but nothing i say here is controversial).

anyway the tl;dr here is:

you don't need to shut down or restart your computer unless something is wrong or you need to install updates

i think this misconception that restarting is necessary comes from the fact that restarting often fixes problems, and so people think that the problems are because of the not restarting. this is, generally, not true. in most cases there's some specific program (or part of the operating system) that's gotten into a bad state, and restarting that one program would fix it. but restarting is easier since you don't have to identify specifically what's gone wrong. the most common problem i can think of that wouldn't fall under this category is your graphics card drivers fucking up; that's not something you can easily reinitialize without restarting the entire OS.

this isn't saying that restarting is a bad step; if you don't want to bother trying to figure out the problem, it's not a bad first go. personally, if something goes wrong i like to try to solve it without a restart, but i also know way, way more about computers than most people.

as more evidence to point to this, i would point out that servers are typically not restarted unless there's a specific need. this is not because they run special operating systems or have special parts; people can and do run servers using commodity consumer hardware, and while linux is much more common in the server world, it doesn't have any special features to make it more capable of long operation. my server with the longest uptime is 9 months, and i'd have one with even more uptime than that if i hadn't fucked it up so bad two months ago i had to restore from a full disk backup. the laptop i'm typing this on has about a month of uptime (including time spent in sleep mode). i've had servers with uptimes measuring in years.

there's also a lot of people that think that the parts being at an elevated temperature just from running is harmful. this is also, in general, not true. i'd be worried about running it at 100% full blast CPU/GPU for months on end, but nobody reading this post is doing that.

the other reason i see a lot is energy use. the typical energy use of a computer not doing anything is like... 20-30 watts. this is about two or three lightbulbs worth. that's not nothing, but it's not a lot to be concerned over. in terms of monetary cost, that's maybe $10 on your power bill. if it's in sleep mode it's even less, and if it's in full-blown hibernation mode it's literally zero.

there are also people in the replies to that post giving reasons. all of them are false.

temporary files generally don't use enough disk space to be worth worrying about

programs that leak memory return it all to the OS when they're closed, so it's enough to just close the program itself. and the OS generally doesn't leak memory.

'clearing your RAM' is not a thing you need to do. neither is resetting your registry values.

your computer can absolutely use disk space from deleted files without a restart. i've taken a server that was almost completely full, deleted a bunch of unnecessary files, and it continued fine without a restart.

[ryker-writes]

Hi hi! I saw rqs were open and wanted to ask something. If ur uncomfy then no need to do this but lilia, meleanor, and maybe knight of dawn x war veteran/soldier reader with ptsd, preferably in an au where they all survive the war (preferably in Current twst timeline not directly after the war for the faes)

Like, reader is either actively still in their worlds military when they got isekaid or just freshly out of it and has a similar mentality to general lilia (minus the obvious rascism... except they have a similar hatred to the "other side" if that makes sense) your choice of whether their world is magical in nature, and romantic is preferred but platonic is fine too!

OHOHOHOHOHO YES A REQUEST FOR MELEANOR AND KNIGHT OF DAWN!! I fell so hard for the Dawn knight when he showed up in the story like he had NO RIGHT being that pretty smh. Same with Meleanor! I'm caught up in the story on the EN servers, but I don't know the story on the JP servers so I'm sorry if any of this is slightly ooc and I feel like I got carried away with the Dawn Knight I just love him

I decided to do a sort of AU where these characters lived and are alive in the more modern setting of twst, instead of back when they did exist. The power of being a writer is being able to do what I want and I want them to live and be happy so-

Warnings: Spoilers for book 7, PTSD, mentions of war and violence

Request rules and Masterlists

Lilia:

Lilia knows how the many years spent in service can leave lasting effects on the soldiers, he's seen it many times to his old comrades in Briar Valley, and he has his own share of struggles after everything

So he understands the drastic shift from active combat to the calm peace of everyday life, after all, he's gone through it himself

It's one of the reasons his little cabin in the woods that he lived in was so handy, because he didn't have to worry about people

Unlike how he does with most people, Lilia doesn't sneak up on you. Sure, he does like little surprise gifts and stuff, but he won't appear out of the blue to jumpscare you

At some point he does sit down and talk to you about his own experiences, and while you don't have to share, he wants you to know that he understands and you can trust him when things get rough

He does his best to try and avoid the small things that might kick up the PTSD, like sneaking up on you or sometimes training Sebek or Silver in front of you (unless you're aware of it and okay with it)

there's a sense of comradery with you, even though you didn't serve in the same place or time, it doesn't matter

You're both soldiers, healing and living in the peace after everything has settled

And when things get tough, he speaks so softly to you, and brings you outside to feel the cool air on your skin and hear how quiet and still everything is

With his hand in yours, you can enjoy the peace that both of you have earned

Meleanor:

She herself doesn't experience the same kind of struggle you do, but she understands it well

Many of Briar Valley's soldiers were left with deep scars after the war, and she's seen the toll it takes, but it pains her greatly to see you struggling in the same way as them all

She does consult with some of those soldiers to find out what works best for them with coping, and shares the ideas later with you about it

Sometimes she gets similar moments of pure panic when she thinks Malleus (or his egg form) is missing or hurt, and when she's panicking and thinking he's missing, everyone will know by the massive thunderstorm (part of me so wants to write something about this specific point, but idk if I should)

In her experience with those moments of panic, she knows it can be helpful to physically see that it's not still happening, like how she goes to make sure Malleus is okay

So if you're in a particularly high moment of panic and stress, she takes you to the calmest and quietest part of the castle, and will hum her soft song to you

Dawn Knight:

This poor boy feels so bad for you

I mean, he certainly has his own scars from when he fought, but he has a habit of putting other's problems and needs before his own

Combat brings a heavy toll on everyone, and it affects everyone differently

He never wants you to feel like you're back in the middle of combat or experience those same feelings, but he knows at times it may be unavoidable

So he does everything he can to help you when it does

Every touch of his is gentle, he always makes his presence known so he doesn't sneak up on you, he always checks in on you if you're near any of the knights while training or if you're feeling uncomfortable

If he even gets the faintest hint that you're starting to panic, he carefully asks if it's okay to touch you

if you accept, he'll gently place his hand on your cheeks (taking off his gloves if he has them on), and gently stroke your cheek with his thumb. If you'll let him do more, he'll wrap his arms around you, and hold you so gently like he's trying to protect you from the world and it feels so warm

He'll reassure you time and time again that you're safe and here with him, even asking you about some of the things in the environment around you to help distract your mind and ground you

[bethebesttoyou]

Hii, so there's this song by Adele called All I Ask, it's so sad but so beautiful :(

If you like the song, could you maybe write something based off of it? Although the song is just sad, it would be amazing if you could make it into a fluff ending >.<

ALL I ASK - CHOI YEONJUN

synopsis: As the clock continues to tick, you realize that pretending won't stop the inevitable from happening. Yeonjun is leaving.

pairing: Idol!Yeonjun x afab!reader

song: All I Ask - Adele ( I love sad music so much frfr)

warning: angst with fluff ending!!! suggestive writing in the end ( at least it tries to be LMAO), ummmm that's it I think. lots of crying, reader is low-key dramatic (I would also crash out personally) OH ALMOST FORGOT UNEDITED.... currently being rushed out the door so if its bad.... im sorry LMAO

Wc: 1.9k :3

A/N: anon... first let me just say THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST REQUEST!!!!!! I woke up to it and honestly, it made my day!!!! Thank you a bunches!!! also... are we all just blasting Adele lately?? Are we okay?? Ive been listening to her all week, her songs heal me, even if they're sad LMAO. Anyways, All I ask is one of my favorites, so I hope I did her justice :,3. Thank you again! and I hope you enjoy!! PS I took some liberties, including the member >.< wasn't sure if you wanted one specific but I went with the member that fit the scenario the best!! OKAY ENOUGH RAMBLING!!!! >3<.

The restaurant had been buzzing with laughter and glasses clinking together as you watched Yeonjun rave about the preparations for the upcoming tour with an enthusiastic yet stressed gleam in his eyes. While he seemed tired, you can tell he loved this, he loved what he did, even when it took everything out of him. It made the bitterness and agony you felt in your stomach contort to guilt. 

The dance practices, the lack of his things around your apartment, the change of hair color, everything reminded you more and more that he was leaving. Ofcourse, you were happy for him, how could you not be? Having to witness the years and years of sacrifices he put into the team, the training, the long nights he'd spend going over dance routines to the point of ultimate exhaustion… He was finally making it big, getting his well deserved flowers. But it didn't make the leaving any easier. The guilt for the borderline selfishness and bitterness for having to share him with others was tearing you apart. Having to feel his absence everyday was going to take its toll on you, as it did everytime he departed, something that you never wanted to admit in fear of ruining these experiences for him. But these feelings were there, and hard to ignore. 

And yet, you smile widely and laugh as he tells you about Taehyun and Kai fighting in the middle of practice. It's his last day in the country, before he flies out tomorrow, and while the other members are working on packing and last minute wardrobe changes, Yeonjun was able to do all of that in advance, securing a free day for you and only you. 

The day was filled with a drive, your favorite way to spend time together, with your hand in his, him kissing your knuckles every so often, before placing them back down on your lap, catching your gaze and smiling softly. Along the countryside, Yeonjun would stop at every scenery you gasp at, letting you take in the beautiful green landscapes, snapping a picture of you before heading your way to the next one. He always knew how to keep you out of your thoughts too, his presence itself was enough for you to feel at ease, allowing you for just a day, relishing in the idea that your relationship was convenient, normal…easy. For the day, it was just you and him. Kissing him, holding him, rarely leaving any space between you unless absolutely necessary, it felt like a dream, with him it always did. But, as the clock ticked, and the servers cleaned the now empty tables around you, time was starting to feel real and fast. 

You must've gone quiet, spacing out on the plate in front of you, when you feel a hand placed over yours. 

“Don't think about it too much, ” Yeonjun says softly, his thumb caressing your palm, he smiles sadly, “the day’s not over yet.” 

You smile, “I know…You're right…okay, did I ever tell you about Ryujin at work?” You say shaking the feeling, hoping the lump on your throat can disappear. He shakes his head, smiling before eating another piece off his plate. 

—

The car ride home had been mostly silent, the pressure of the next morning finally undermining the playful mood of the day. It wasn't like you wanted the mood to sour, but it was hard to ignore the inevitable. 

Hes going to be gone for months.

Even if this wasn't your first time, each time felt like you couldn't fathom it. It felt like a pit in your stomach, the sheer thought made you fidget and shudder, worrying that this time was going to be the breaking point, for either of you. What if he realizes the idol life was easier without a relationship? What if ghosting becomes easy? What if drifting apart becomes inevitable?These overwhelming thoughts had easily filled you with despair, you hadn't noticed you were already inside the house, changing into pajamas before sitting on the bed, ready to break. It wasn't until he came from behind you, kissing your shoulder, that you can't keep it in anymore. He feels your shoulders shake and instantly wraps his arms around you, his face resting at the crook of your neck. 

“I'm sorry…” You say hiding your face in your hands as you feel the sudden tears in your eyes. “I'm trying really hard not to do this right now,” you laugh, “I just…I don't know, I'm sorry.” 

“Its okay, baby… just let it out…” You feel splotches of water hit your collarbone, and you realize he's crying too. Something about him missing you made you feel less alone in this pain. He turns you around, and you both chuckle softly as you reflect each other in puffy red eyes. He grabs your hands and leads you to lay in bed, him going down first, before pulling you on top of him. 

“I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm really sorry.” His quavering voice breaks the silence, your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat slowly beat against your ear. You both had calmed down by now, waiting for the drowsiness to take effect. Even just moments like these, of pure comfortable silence, made you want to hold him tighter and not let go. 

“dont be…I get it…As much as I want you to stay, I would never forgive you or myself if you did.” You pick at the fabric of his shirt. 

It was true. He deserved to embark on the achievements he's made, and while you were heartbroken, there was no doubt in your mind that you would be his biggest supporter, no doubt that pride would fill your body, watching him succeed in real time. You would always cheer him on, even if he was a thousand, millions of miles away. 

“Dont get tired of waiting, please. If you start to, call me and I'll come back.” He whispers. 

“Never. That’ll never happen. I'm yours, always…” you say looking up at him, and smile, “you…dont forget about me, okay?” 

“Impossible…” he smiles back down at you and your eyes well up again. 

“Stop making me cry!” you laugh, wiping your face in his shirt. 

“You're making me cry!” 

After hours of refusing to fall asleep, you both eventually did, only to be woken up by the dreadful alarm. You watch as he grabs his bags, making him a small travel sized breakfast before leaving, moving in silence the entire time. The car ride was spent in pecks and silent knowing looks, before eventually just resting your head on his shoulder, waiting to arrive at your destination. It wasn't until getting to the airport and meeting with the rest of the guys, did you start engaging normally, trying to once again, save face and act normal. 

Once it was time to say goodbye, you gave each member a hug, giving them a list of demands: stay safe, stay healthy, make sure to eat well and rest often. Yeonjun reserved himself for last, telling them to hurry up from the back, before eventually making it in front of you, clearing his throat. Taehyun ushers the rest a couple of steps away, giving you some space. 

“Junie,” you clear yours too before continuing, “Stay safe, stay healthy, make sure to eat well and rest often…”

“And?” he whispers, water beginning to fill the lining of his brown soft eyes. 

“and…I love you.” You say before looking around, bringing his mask down and pecking him on the lips one last time, pulling it back up and smiling through a sniffle. 

“I love you” he whispers. His hug lasts longer than the rest, and the sniffles continue before you realize they're waiting for him. 

“You gotta go...” 

“Wait… just a bit longer.” he says from your neck. You don’t fight him, only holding him tighter. 

“Hey, last call…” his manager calls out, and you feel him hesitate before letting you go. 

“I love you, I'll call you once we land!” he smiles, kissing your hand one last time, before jogging turning back to only turn back and wave, the boys follow suit, and you wave back. 

It isn't when you no longer see them but a few minutes after, that you decide it's time to go home, already reminiscing on the ghosting feeling of his hands on yours. 

—--

Months later…

Youre pacing around the house, repositioning some items before returning them into their original positions. You honestly couldn't clean anymore, nor fix your dress or your hair, as you had done so already a billion times. Dinner was definitely done, as you kept thinking of sides to add to the table, you basically overdid it. Yeonjun was coming home, on his way from the airport to be exact, and you didn't know how to act. You felt the nerves all over your body, preventing you from just staying still. To say you were excited and scared was an understatement. Your job and school had stopped you from visiting him, resulting in you both relying on facetime and texting. Time and time again, you would grow wary when Yeonjun would leave, believing things would change, you would disappear, only for him to prove you entirely wrong. He had texted or called or updated almost every single day, sent gifts to the house regularly, left notes hidden around the house for you to find, anything that he could have possibly done to keep you from feeling lonely he did. You , ofcourse, met him halfway, leaving voicemails every morning before heading to work, reminding him to rest, sending him updates on loved ones, things you believed he might have missed from home. Your relationship only flourished, making you realize just how strong it actually was. It always was. 

But nothing can beat the feeling of love face to face. You realize that now, as you sit on the armrest of the couch in urgency, waiting for that doorknob to even remotely jiggle. 

When it does, you're already opening it, and he's standing there, key in his hand, in sunglasses and smiling widely. 

“Well, hello…” he laughs and stands in shock. 

“Oh my god…” You say, before practically jumping on him, and he drops his bags, catching you, his hands causing waves of shock from the back of your thighs to the rest of your body. 

“Oh, Baby…” he whispers into your ear, “I missed you so much.” He's walking in, not really caring about the bags he's left outside, nor the fact that the boys probably laughed when they saw you pounce on him. 

“I missed you…I missed you. I can't believe you’re back.” 

He sets you down on top of the couch's backrest, before grabbing either side of your head with his hands. 

“You look absolutely beautiful.” he says leaning in for a kiss, slightly chuckling at how needy you responded to it. His lips go from being softly placed on yours before he deepens the kiss, small gasps coming out of both of you. The kiss lasts for a while, his sunglasses now discarded on the couch, his hands running against your thighs, only getting higher. After breaking for air, his glazed eyes makes you aware exactly what hes thinking of. 

“I made dinner…” you say looking up at him, and as he pulls a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“I think dinner can wait, yeah?” 

“Yeah…”

A/N: YOU MADE IT!!! pat yourself on the back!!!! SOOOOO.... what did we think??? My first request so it might be different from when I gain inspiration from a song that I drill into my head from obsession!!! As always let me know if you loved it, hate it, dreamed it before and you're experiencing some weird dejavu.... would love to hear about that... Thank you for reading!! and Ill see you guys later :3

ps. if you're still reading, doubt you are, but I will be starting classes soon so I might be a lil slow, but considering this has become my new hyperfixation, I don't think ill be gone for too long in between fics >.<

[prettycalla]

|| another's treasure ||

Pairing: Michael/Reader

Summary: You used to play piano as a child. Michael finds a very specific gift for you.

Word count: 1869

Tags and warnings: Mostly fluff, established relationship, Michael is a bit odd but he means well, no use of Y/N.

(I dropped this hyper-specific little idea into the server I'm in, and after some encouragement, here it is! It's kind of a spin on something that happened to me as a kid and I managed to crack it out in a day. Hopefully it's okay! Also I still have a load of Emperors fics in progress!)

Masterlist

“Do you play any instruments?” you ask.

It’s a Saturday night, and the two of you are sitting in front of the TV, watching a music documentary. Michael’s long since given up on sitting up straight, now slumped into the cushions with his hands resting on his stomach and his legs spread out. You sit next to him, your legs resting on his thigh.

“Not unless you count Three Blind Mice on the recorder,” he says with a laugh. “What about you?”

“I used to play piano,” you tell him.

He turns his attention to you then. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. My neighbour used to give me lessons when I was a kid. She was a lovely older lady, always so kind to me," you say, a little smile on your face as the memory comes back to you. "She had the most beautiful old piano in her living room. I was always so afraid to touch it. Then we moved, so…”

You trail off awkwardly, a little pang in your heart. It had been so long since you'd last thought about it.

Michael places his hand on your leg, gently bringing you back to the present.

“D’you miss it?” he asks.

“Sometimes, yeah,” you reply. “I wasn’t very good, mind. But I enjoyed it.”

“Maybe we could pick one up cheap somewhere?” he suggests. “Not a proper piano, but like, a keyboard or something."

He points to the corner of the living room near the TV.

“You’ve been saying that bit of the room's too empty," he says. "Could put it there.”

You look at him, lip trembling slightly as you smile. You know neither of you have the money for something so frivolous right now, but it's the thought that has you feeling overwhelmed.

“What?” he asks, completely oblivious.

You shake your head. “Nothing. It’s, um…Yeah, sounds nice.”

A few weeks pass. Neither of you had said any more about it, and eventually you'd forgotten that you'd even mentioned it.

You're alone in the living room one night. Michael had gone out a few hours ago, saying he was going to "see a man about a dog". You never liked when he said that, because it meant he was up to something, and he wasn't going to tell you what it was.

You hear him before you see him. An awful scraping sound, followed by a lot of muffled cursing and shuffling. You assume it’s one of your neighbours on the landing outside and think no more of it.

Besides, you have more pressing matters at hand. The tape of your favourite cassette has been coming loose lately and you’ve been spending the better part of a half hour trying to carefully wind it all back in with a pencil.

Then comes an ungodly bang from outside your door and the tape flies out of your hand.

“Who the hell-“ you start to say, when you hear the letterbox open.

"Babe? You there?" Michael calls down the hallway.

"Yes!" you shout back.

“Can you get the door for me?” he asks.

You look down at the ruined cassette in your lap. You could kill him.

“It’s on the snib!” you answer, picking up the pencil again.

You can’t remember if it is, but you want him to suffer just a little for messing up your hard work.

“It’s not, it’s locked,” he replies. “I don’t think I have my key. Please open the door, I have a surprise for you.”

You hesitate. Knowing Michael, this will either be very good or truly awful. There’s never any in-between. His heart’s always in the right place, though.

With a sigh, you set the tape aside and make your way to the front door. Michael’s hand is still holding the letterbox open, his brown eyes looking up at you.

“Cheers, darlin’,” he calls. “Now listen, I need you to hold the door open for me, but don’t look, alright?”

“What have you dragged home now?” you ask as you reach for the lock.

He steps back, the letterbox clanging shut.

“I mean it, no looking," he insists through the door. "Eyes shut. Promise me.”

“Alright, alright, I promise," you say impatiently.

You turn the lock, pulling the heavy door back as far as it’ll go. Despite your better judgment, you do as he asked, holding the door open with your eyes closed.

Whatever it is, it’s big. Michael’s clearly struggling with it as he pushes it across the hall.

“D’you need a hand?” you ask.

“No!” he answers too quickly, his voice strained. “Just stay where you are. I’ll tell you when to move.”

A few more minutes of grunting and cursing and “Oh, come on, you stupid-" pass before the flat finally falls silent again. You hear Michael’s footsteps drawing closer to you.

“How long are you gonna make me stand here like this?” you ask with a nervous laugh.

Michael pulls the door gently from your grasp, shutting it before turning his attention back to you. He takes your hands in his.

“Not long, promise. Follow me,” he says, gently guiding you along with him.

“Can I open my eyes?” you ask, fearful of tripping over something.

“Not yet,” he replies. “Easy, watch yourself. You’re almost there…”

You couldn’t swing a cat in the hallway for all the size of it, and yet now it feels as though it goes on forever. Suddenly, Michael stops, and you bump into him. He lets go of your hands, his footsteps receding.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now," he says.

You squint slightly, your eyes adjusting to the light as you open them. Michael’s standing across the room, face flushed and hair a mess. His jeans are covered in dirt marks, his coat left in a heap on the floor.

“Well? What’d you think?” he asks expectantly with a smile.

You turn your attention to the large thing sitting next to him. Your eyes widen.

“Michael…” is all you can manage.

It's a piano.

You cross the room to take a better look at it, awestruck. It's an upright piano, the most beautiful colour of mahogany. The wood is cracked and damaged in some places, but not so much to take away from its charm. You lift the heavy lid. The keys are yellowed with age and a little dusty in places, and they're all still intact.

You press one of them down. Nothing happens.

You try another one. Nothing.

With a frown, you take a step back to look at it properly. Near the bottom are two large pedals, upholstered with red carpet that's worn and fraying in areas.

Then you realise. It's a reed organ.

“Where did you get this?” you ask, fingers sliding reverently across the keys.

How much did this cost? is what you want to ask.

“Found it,” is all Michael says.

You look at him, your expression full of doubt.

“You found this?” you ask. “Michael, it’s an organ. Who would just throw this away?”

He shrugs. “Chapel was doing a clear-out of some old stuff. I saw it while I was doing my rounds a couple days ago," he explains, "Bellows are busted on it, apparently, but it’s fine other than that. There was no way it was fitting in the lorry, so I asked them if they could hold onto it for me until I could go 'round and get it myself.”

Then it dawns on you.

“You dragged this the whole way from the chapel?” you ask. “Are you mental? That’s three streets over!”

He laughs, brushing his messy hair from his forehead with his hand. “Tell me about it. It was hardly gonna fit in a cab now, was it?”

He moves closer to you, his fingers lightly brushing yours where they still lay on the keys.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he murmurs, glancing at you.

You look up at him.

“What d'you think?” he asks again, worry evident in his expression.

You look back at the worn old thing sitting in front of you that’s clearly seen better days.

“I know it’s not the best, but we can clean it up, get it working again," he says, as if he's trying to convince you. "I was gonna go down to the library tomorrow and see if I can get some books to help with fixing it.”

Michael’s hand rests over yours. You haven't moved, haven't spoken.

“Say something, darlin’, please,” he murmurs nervously. “It’s not that bad, is it?”

You shake your head. It's only then that you realise you've been crying.

“No…It’s…It’s perfect,” you manage to say in a choked whisper.

You turn your attention back to him. He still looks worried, dark eyes watching you carefully. You don't trust yourself to speak, instead throwing your arms around him and pulling him close. He almost loses his balance in the process and he laughs.

“Oi, give me some warning next time, will you?” he scolds, but his tone is affectionate as he wraps his arms around you tightly.

It takes a while before you're able to calm yourself, but Michael stays with you, gently running his hand up and down your back. Eventually, the wave of emotion settles and you pull back, your hands still gripping at the shoulders of his shirt.

"Probably should've given you a heads-up, ey?" he asks light-heartedly. "Didn't realise you'd go all wobbly on me."

You lightly slap at him, giving him a mock-frown in response.

"Wait here," he says suddenly as he rushes out of the room.

He returns with a dining chair, setting it in front of the organ. He gestures to you to sit.

"You said it was broken," you say as you sit. "And it's not gonna play like a piano."

"Yeah, but give it a go," he replies. "Let's see what the damage is."

You raise your eyebrows at him. "You'd better not mean my playing."

He folds his arms, waiting for you to start. You turn back to the keys, trying to remember where middle C is. You place your foot on one of the pedals, pressing down on both it and the key at the same time.

The organ lets out an awful sound like a ship's horn, startling you both. You sit there, frozen for a moment. Michael snorts, and you can't help yourself, you burst out laughing.

"I think it might be beyond help," you tell him with a smile, gently closing the lid over the keys again.

"Nah, you leave it to me," he replies.

He places his hands on your shoulders, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"Nothing that can't be sorted, yeah?" he murmurs close to your ear.

You reach up, bringing your hand to the back of his neck.

"Yeah," you reply fondly.

Whether or not it can be fixed, or if it just ends up as an interesting piece of furniture, it doesn't matter to you, not right now. Michael may have a different worldview from you at times, and you might not always see eye to eye on everything, but knowing that he went to so much trouble over something so small means so much to you, and that's what really matters.

(banners by @ cafekitsune)

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[chaoticisis]

I feel like I am going to get a lot of hate for this, but I don't care anymore at this point. The needs to addressed.

I believe there's a lot of toxic positivity in the interactive fiction community. Specifically, text based IFs.

Everytime, I see someone offer criticism, it gets shot down immediately and ends with them being labelled as a hater and downvoted to oblivion on the hosted games reddit. There's nothing wrong with disliking some elements in a story and being vocal about it as long as you are not harassing the author. You should not have to praise the book in order to make your opinion matter.

Yes, a lot of people misuse the anon feature. There are comments people have made towards authors and made assumptions about them that have left me reeling but not every comment has to be an attack. When someone says "oh i didn't like ABC book because of XYZ in it. I wish it was YXZ instead, I would have enjoyed it more then." There is always someone in their replies with the "if you don't like it so much, why are you even reading it. Maybe don't tell the author what to write?"

Here's the thing :

Wishing for something to have been a certain way doesn't mean it should have been that way alone. It means the poster would have enjoyed the work more if it was written that way, it doesn't necessarily mean, they are imposing their opinion on the author.

Also, why is our immediate response to any kind of criticism "yeah, well maybe its not for you, stop reading it" because why should they?? Maybe there's a lot of things they like about the book? Maybe they are interested in the setting? The premise? They are actually looking forward to how the story will develop or are at least curious about in which direction the author is going to take it? Maybe they love the relationships in it?

I recently came across the post of an author making fun of people who has a discord server to "hate" on IFs. Now, I don't know much about this so I could very well be in the wrong here— if that's the case then I sincerely applogise in advance, but I am assuming there are no authors in the server. If that is the case, then I don't see how that is an issue? We watch shows. We get excited about them. We want to have someone to talk about it. People make edits of it. We read things. We get frustrated about it. We need a space to vent about how it made is feel. It's exactly that.

It's actually a great thing in my opinion. It's a discord server so these haters won't be in the authors' faces— unless you deliberately join the server, in which you don't have anyone else to blame but yourself. It's a discord server, not a place you can go looking for constructive criticism. I remember looking at the post and thinking how incredibly rude it was when the author told those people to get a job. (Especially the way they worded it) Because would you say the same to the people in your inbox? Or the people taking the time out of their life and drawing art for your characters because they loved your work? Or the ones making memes? Or the ones writing those extremely lengthy posts on reddit about an IF? Or those who join fan based discord servers of IFs to gush over them? No, you wouldn't. Because that benefits you. When you post something online it is bound to receive both negative and positive reaction. Collen hoover is a best selling author, yet a lot of people dislike her work.

However, I do understand that IF authors are more accessible and hence, have to face harassment by these people hiding behind anon. I have defended authors myself. It does get out of hand sometimes. But still.

I came across this discussion on the forum about how people feel about ROs potentially getting into a relationship with an NPC. Someone said how they don't like it because they read books to escape reality. They are not a fan of realism in fiction. For them, fiction is fiction. Now, personally, I don't care about it. I like me a little realism but I understand. At the end of the day, it's upto the author and i will just have to look for books that align with my tastes. But somebody dismissed this person by saying how "its just words on the paper" and how its weird for them to be jealous.

No. It's not just words on a paper. It's so much more than that. People read books, people get attached. We cry when our favourite character dies or gets injured. We get angry when we see a character we dislike show up on screen. Both are valid. Books are there to make us feel. I don't think any author would like it if they wrote something and it didn't make anyone feel any kind of way.

[coffeegnomee]

Why the Eclipse Federation is so beloved for so long. An essay about Story.

In the book “Story Genius: How to use brain science to go beyond outlining and write a riveting novel” author Lisa Cron proposes:

“What drives a story forward is, at first blush, invisible. It’s not talent. It’s not voice. It’s not the plot. Think electricity. The same way even the most powerful lamp is useless unless it’s plugged in, a story can’t engage readers without the electricity that illuminates the plot, the voice, and the talent, bringing them to life.

The question is: what, specifically, generates that juice?

The answer is: it flows directly from how the protagonist is making sense of what’s happening, how she struggles with, evaluates, and weighs what matters most to her, and then makes hard decisions, moving the action forward. This is not a general struggle, but one based on the protagonist’s impossible goal: to achieve her desire and remain true to the fear that’s keeping her from it. As we’ll explore in detail, story is not about the plot, or what happens. Story is about how the things that happen in the plot affect the protagonist, and how he or she changes internally as a result” (bold added) 

And more to the point, “You can’t write about how someone changes unless you know, specifically, what they’re changing from.”

———

Where we begin

We launch the Eclipse Federation arc with PrinceZam telling his tale to ItzSubz_ in Detroit. Zam has just left his team because they duped thousands of items, terrorized the server, and were unwilling to let go of this unfair advantage. He tells how he battled them on the nether roof, lost everything, and was exiled. He was chased down, followed to his castle and was terrorized every day until he was killed over and over (#stonesword). He’s lost everything. He needs a team, he needs friends. 

This is where our story begins, a hero who has a specific and definitive backstory, something that compels him to reach out to our inciting incident: speaking to Subz when he’s on 2 hearts. 

Subz, seeing everything that has happened, sympathizes with Zam citing that he thinks they have both been wronged by the server and it’s time they stopped letting that happen. 

This is where the tragedy begins. 

Subz operates under the assumption that Zam wants to get back at those who wronged him. Zam agrees with this in the moment. 

But Subz fails to realize that it is the exploits that caused Zam to be wronged: if the exploits hadn’t happened, if the dupe war hadn’t happened, Zam would never have left his team and he, in turn, would never have been terrorized for weeks. 

And above anything else, Subz fails to realize that Zam does not want to be on a team that exploits.

Our hero, with a definitive backstory, is placed in a situation that directly places tension on that selfsame backstory.

The days go by and the team, now including Vitalasy, grows together, bonding over shared fights, laughing and joking, creating silly bedrooms with the most obnoxious blocks possible. 

All is well.

Then Ashswag reveals that he can one-tap any player, in any amount of armor, he has seemingly infinite amounts of totems, and he’s acting like he’s on a power trip, giggling and evading questions. 

Exploits have returned to the LifestealSMP.

Zam’s heart sinks as he realizes that something huge is brewing on the server. And it’s worse than any duped item he previously had been involved with.

Confused and hurt, he reaches out to his team to figure out what their next steps will be. How they’ll fight this disaster. 

But tragedy strikes again. Thanks to the beauty of streamed content, Subz accidentally goes live instead of starting a recording and he reveals that he and Vitalasy are the cause of these new exploited items and that they are very upset with Ash for showing them off. Because of this mistake, they decide to tell Zam everything.

Suddenly, against all odds, against all logic, against all reason, our main character is once again on a team who is using exploits and is unwilling to let them go.

It baffles the mind. How could he have been so clear with Subz about the reason behind him leaving Team Awesome and Subz still let him on the team knowing they had this exploit plan.

Once again it’s the beauty of streamed content that has brought our main charater into the most absurd of situations: they’re friends. Genuinely. Outside of content. Of course Subz brought him onto the team. Why would he not.

The reasons for the situation are simple, but the gravity of them affects Zam deeply. 

Our hero has to face a situation that directly relates to his past, as struggle of friendship vs values. 

No longer is this a situation of school yard bullying, creating obsidian prisons at spawn and using duplicated items to win fights; this is an apocalyptic situation. Lifesteal season 4 will end if this exploit is not stopped. What was obsidian is now bedrock, what was duped netherite is now one-tap potions, what was once withers destroying spawn are now mysterious creatures that kill players instantly.

So our hero has to face not only the apocalypse, but also himself. Battling against his love of his friends and his need for community and safety, while also battling for the safety of everyone on the server.

These streams slowly unfold a dark reality that anyone who has every been in a bad relationship has had to face. What do you do when the person you love is no longer recognizable? 

When your values are no longer aligned, have never been aligned? 

Do you leave them? Do you stay? Do you hope you can change them? 

How do you process the fact that they lied to you, let you in knowing that you are diametrically opposed to something that they were secretly doing? How do you process that it was an accident? That you hadn’t communicated the depth of the importance of this value (not exploiting) well enough so they didn’t pick up on it as important to communicate from the start?

How do reconcile lies that are told to your face? How do you stand up for yourself in the face of gaslighting? 

To quote Lisa Cron again, “The purpose of story - of every story - is to help us interpret, and anticipate, the actions of ourselves and of others.” (bold added)

This is the foundation of why this arc was so tragic, so compelling. Why it sticks in my mind for over a year now, the details as clear and crisp as the day I watched the streams. I can still see the actions being played out in that Minecraft blocky world like it was yesterday. The deepslate tiles of the communication room, the glowing yellow and purple and red signs, the prison in the sky, the exchange of trust apples. 

It’s not about the apocalypse, it’s about one man’s battle within himself. So he leaves the team. Sticks up for himself and stakes a claim against exploits.

But the tragedy continues. As the days pass we realize that maybe Vitalasy was telling the truth and he isn’t going to be the villain. Everything contradicts this opinion. He’s flying, he’s one-tapping Planet in the prison, he’s using the potions. He’s going insane but remaining delusional. 

And yet he continues to insist he’s not evil. He’s good. 

Every storytelling tactic says this man should be the villain and yet he refuses to do so (creating some new interesting content as the streamers have to contend with other members who don’t act within the rules of Play and of Content).

Eventually Vitalasy burns all his exploited items. Zam, left in abject frustration, releases a chunk ban which only bans Mapicc. Giving up, he leaves. And Vitalasy bans himself, throwing himself off the prison over and over, sealing the story that he is not the villain. He was misunderstood.

To quote the Mer essay “anger transmute(s) into grief as if by magic” and FarmerZam is born. The story has affected our protagonist deeply and he has changed. He has no enemies. He refuses to look at how he’s hurt his friends because it’s simply too painful. Everything that could have gone wrong has. 

Then Subz revives Vitalasy. Takes him around the server to their old bases while Vitalasy remains in depression about being misunderstood. He doesn’t want to be here. 

But as Subz reveals the final base, before they go through the end portal, Vitalasy catches a glimpse of a new sign room, one filled with depressive thoughts. The same thoughts he has been having this whole stream. You can almost hear his posture fix as he realizes the state of mind Subz is in. He needs to convince Subz to stay.

But we all know what happens, the trajectory of lives are changed. Subz has Vitalasy kill him, banning him off for the rest of the season, promising to be back when Vitalasy needs him most, but for no one else. 

Zam sees the death message and panics. He needs answers, he needs to bring Subz back. He’ll do anything to bring him back since it was Subz, it always has been Subz, who took him in when he had nothing. He realizes in a flash that he cares more about the friendship than about any values he held. But it’s too late now.

The tension, the sorrow stays. Zam decides to repair all his old friendships before the wormhole opens and this world ends. Vitalasy is forgiven. Spoke, Mapic, Ro. Planet, Bacon, Jaron. Everyone he betrayed. Everyone he let down.

But he forgot about Pangi. 

But Pangi didn’t forget about him. He has always been there for Zam, but Zam time and again has abandoned him. He’s had enough. With the server ending, he’s going to get his amends, make him repent (thanks Chips. I mean. Credit to the artist)

He traps Zam in bedrock. 

And Zam breaks. 

Friendships, betrayal, enemies. Everything comes full circle. It seems you can’t escape your past just as you can’t escape being on the exploit team.

Once again we enter the story with a defined background, but this time it breaks Zam completely. 

It’s not about exploits. It’s not about fairness. It’s about friendship. It’s about Subz. Subz was the only one who truly cared about him. He didn’t bring him onto the team maliciously, he really and truly cared about Zam and now he was Gone. Grief wells to the surface, Subz’s words about getting back at everyone who wronged them rings in his ears. 

He’s going to talk to Spoke and end the world. 

But his heart rebells even now. He’s betraying everyone again. But he’s sick of betraying. He won’t do it again, no matter how much chat tries to convince him Spoke is just using him and doesn’t care about him.

He’s going to end the world so that Subz will come back. 

And then the pièce de résistance. Subz IS revived. And he’s disappointed in Zam for changing sides and joining the exploiters when he left them because if it.

The depths of that final conversation makes Zam’s story the most insane tragedy. It has been 5 months of near daily or every other day developments on this story. The twists and turns have produced laughter and tears, cheering, anger, frustration, satisfaction, depression. 

And in the end? Subz still chose Vitalasy. Man how I wanted them to take him back in that moment. But what was done was done. These are the consequences of our actions. 

And in the end the circle comes to another completion: he’s back on a team with Mapicc, the same person he betrayed over the duped exploits. They promise each other to end the server with everyone banned, no matter what anyone else has to say. In the end they jump into the portals together and the server is moved to season 5. (I too, in union with where Zam ended his video, think it’s a good place to end the plot here rather than with that final scene on the grass. This is the last character decision he made)

———

The Present Moment

Zam was talking on stream a few days ago about how Kaboodle wanted to know why Eclipse was so beloved still. Mer’s essay came up (which I read and absolutely loved), but the essay talks more about the dynamics of the streamers themselves and how their relation to Play made the story compelling to watch. Which it absolutely does, and I’ve written about how much this has reframed how I view Lifesteal.

But I think that only covers one aspect. The deeper reason why there’s still fanart being drawn of Eclipse is how Zam created (and/or was handed) one of the most tragic plot lines ever created by man, and how he allowed himself to be affected by the story, and how he brought it alive through his streams as he “struggles with, evaluates, and weighs what matters most to [him], and then makes hard decisions, moving the action forward.”

And this is why Zam is so beloved by the community in general. This is how he approaches every arc on Lifesteal. Most recently the Joker arc launched from the Abyss betrayal, which in turn, after his ban the first day of hardcore, turned into the possession arc as he realizes his love of Mapicc and Ro goes beyond his obsession with Minute and Jumper. 

Each note of Lifesteal flows into the other as he lets us into the inner workings of his mind as he weighs one decision from another.

Because at the end of the day, I remember the tragedy, the longing for friendship and the betrayals, more than I will ever remember the circular reasoning of Vitalasy or the “okay”’s from pb&j. I only remember the strained voice of Zam as he wrote signs and went in circles trying to reconcile the fact that he couldn’t stay on a team and he couldn’t leave. How he was being dangled off the edge of a cliff being held up by Vitalasy. How Minute just doesn’t get it, he needs to be shown what Lifesteal is. His maniacal laughs as the Joker. Zam allows the story to affect him and he uses every ounce of it to create even more. 

As Branzy said in the therapy session “It’s a human story. About what humans are.”

To their credit, Subz and Vitalasy also allowed themselves to be affected by the story. Without Vi banning himself because he was so misunderstood, and Subz bringing him back to ban him so that Eclipse could have some sort of ending, and without Subz doing so much lore with Zam in 1 on 1 conversations, we wouldn’t have the same story.

The same with Pangi finishing his lore by trapping Zam because Zam didn’t do the god-off with him. The same with Ash being Ash and flexing his god powers. The same with Spoke bringing Zam into the team and then getting caught up in managing the wormhole so he didn’t have time for 1 on 1’s with Zam to make him feel totally accepted as a valuable member. The same with Mapicc always being willing to let go of the past to save himself as well as never letting go of the past so he has something to do on the server. The same with Planet talking to Zam and Bacon and figuring out how to fight the exploits and realizing they needed to convince Zam to betray. The same with Branzy giving the craziest therapy session lifesteal has ever seen. Without each member allowing themselves to be affected by the story, the story doesn’t go anywhere. 

[lobautumny]

Please, please, please, please, please, for the love of god, if you make mods for any game, do your due diligence and document what your fucking mod adds and write proper changelogs. And no, your Discord server is not a fucking replacement for documentation or changelogs, especially if you're getting snappy at people joining the server to ask the same questions over and over that you are making a conscious and continuous decision not to make the answers to easy to find publicly.

On your mod's page, try actually explaining what your mod adds to the game in more than one sentence, and provide screenshots. In your mod's config files, include commented-out lines explaining what the options do and what the accepted values are. Make a GitHub wiki explaining the function of your mod's content and any native compatibility you've implemented with other mods.

It's not fucking difficult to make documentation (and it's also not particularly time-consuming unless your mod is huge, in which case you have even less excuse not to write documentation), and documentation is supremely important for people to actually, y'know, learn about your mod and want to play it. It is very common for people to click onto a mod page because there's an implication of a cool premise, see no details/screenshots, and click off of it. It is also very common for people to install mods, have no clue how to use them because there's no documentation, and then uninstall them.

And once again, just in case you didn't get it the first time: A DISCORD SERVER IS NOT A FUCKING REPLACEMENT FOR DOCUMENTATION, OH MY GOD. Discord servers are cool to have for letting your community keep up with development, ask more technical/specific questions, report bugs and get support for incompatibilities, suggest features, talk about addons for your mod, etc., but if you're relying on the existence of your mod's Discord server as the primary means for people to learn about what your mod adds to the game and how to use it, you are the fucking worst, especially if you're snapping at new members for not reading things in arbitrary channels (even a distinct FAQ channel might as well be arbitrary) before asking questions. If people are constantly joining your Discord server to ask the same question over and over and over, that is a sign that there is something you are failing to communicate in more visible locations, and the solution to that is to communicate that thing in a more visible location that isn't a Discord server. Like, oh, this toy doesn't know, your fucking mod page and/or changelogs. You know, the things that are supposed to be there for this exact fucking purpose.

God

damn it.

[hergan416]

Coming across another please comment post, specifically about people who say nice things about fics to their friends but won't tell the author, and how betrayed authors feel by private book rec servers and stuff.

And yes, that's not an adequate substitute for talking to the author and isn't motivating and I don't think we should be privatizing our community. But the idea it is a generational fault kind of is bugging me because I notice myself doing some of that too- reading something recc'd to me and only responding in depth in the server or in priv instead of on the fic, and I didn't used to do that five years ago. Granted sometimes that person is in the server or I'm talking in private with the author, and that's... something different? But regardless, it's still not completely generational, it's a changing norm and I want to examine my experience to figure out why that might be.

And for me, I think it comes down to safety and vulnerability. It's easy to see this from the perspective of an author. To post a work for the judgement of The Internet is to be vulnerable. Comments help sooth over that moment of vulnerability. They help make it worth it. Whether the work is low or high effort, doesn't matter.

But commenting is also a moment of vulnerability. It is becoming visible to the author, for a brief moment, and writing down your thoughts when your interpretation might not be "as intended." I've known friends who anxiously waited to see what an author would say about a comment- would it be well received? Would the author be happy?

I feel that too when I comment. I reread the thing and try my best to not impulsively edit it over and over again to be more clear with what I want to say. That this is meant as a compliment, please don't assume malice with my words.

I didn't used to feel like that.

Where did that anxiety about being misinterpreted come from? Why do I feel I have to say everything perfectly or not at all, unless I know you well enough to know you will tolerate a mistake?

Is it of my own making, having had a reader look at the events I wrote and coming to the exact opposite conclusion about the morality of the situation as I did? I was so confused about that, think it ended up being a cultural difference, but I'm not sure because I had the last word, and I still feel terrible about that interaction. I wish I knew how to properly express how fascinating it was to be challenged on my assumptions like that, even if my definition of what constitutes rape didn't shift at all.

Or did it start before then? Was it because of that one time that I got all the way to the end note of a story to find out that alwill shippers weren't supposed to interact because they didn't want readers to interpret an interaction between them as anything but brotherly? (I hadn't read it that way, the fic was tagged sherliam and they hadn't wrote it that way. I left a comment anyway at the time, but I don't think I would have done that if I came accross that fic today.)

In fact, the fact that a loud and vocal subgroup of people simply don't want you to exist because of your taste in ships makes it hard to engage with any people you don't know in fandom at all. What if I leave my comment then click on the author's socials and see that their bio says proship DNI? What happens if they click on my profile and get mad at me for existing around them, like AO3 is Twitter or something? It hasn't happened yet but what if it does?

I'm basically "out" about shipping dark and disturbing content and so this next one doesn't apply to me per se, but what if a group of antis trolls the comment section of my fics for people to harass over their tastes? That's a public admission trying you to me. That could be dangerous in the current internet environment.

And my friends ... know who I am and know I say stuff stupid and largely don't care. So it's easy to tell them "hey look at this, it's y ship and does h really well."

I have no idea if these experiences line up with anyone else's. I don't want to say this ought to excuse me from trying to also tell the author they did h really well. I just am trying to parse through some of my own fears and anxiety and seeing how that relates to the current state of things.

Because I also want more comments. I just also empathize with people who might not always leave them. I don't think it's a moral failing to choose not to comment on a fic you liked. And also I know many of my original core readers have left the fandom/gotten busy/etc. And I know that my writing is probably "tolerable and I finished it, but I am not excited about it enough to talk about what just happened" to a fair amount of people. (And the barrier to talking about it just keeps getting steeper and steeper for me, so maybe that's what's happening with you too.)

[abyslita]

Hi guys !1!1 Somewhat serious(?) post before my layout change..

Please stop using and reposting my work without credit. I keep seeing my bios, frames, etc. on pinterest without credit even if I state multiple times to NOT use, repost, take inspo or edit without credit,, it’s not fun for me to see something that I worked hard on get claimed as someone else’s or just disregarded as mine.. I post them in servers and on tumblr because it makes me happy I can do something to help you guys !!

I don’t want to have to say something every-time when I see someone posting my stuff without credit. It takes two seconds to do, you can either credit me here, credit my pinterest, or just… not claim it as yours? I can’t see any reason why you can’t credit the original creator instead of being unoriginal and stealing my stuff /gen

Some easy examples of (most) of my work being stolen/uncredited is mobage4k/htd on discord,, I’ve seen multiple people reposting stuff I post on those servers without credits, edited or not. I’ve seen people reposting stuff from my pinterest without credits, even though I state to repost my work with credits..!

I promise you it is not that hard to credit me. I don’t like having to say this, let alone so much. I’ve seen people impersonating me as well; I only have one account for discord (harbingers.), one for pinterest(harbngers) and two for tumblr(abyslita & fl-wer). If there are any other people who say they’re me- they’re not!! Unless specifically stated on my tumblr (I will put it on this one), they are not me.

TDLR, stop stealing my stuff please. I’m pretty lenient when it comes to people crediting my stuff MOST of the time, but honestly it’s kinda gotten out of hand so it’s clear I need to be more forceful with my boundaries which you guys should be following in the first place..

Examples of my work which is most commonly mis/uncredited and or stolen;

Just please stop taking my stuff, I shouldn’t even have to say this