#unless u let me know ahead of time that u want to stop by

[alastors-wife]

god i hate when people come over unannounced

[deezneezz]

Leojami week - Casual "Lazy Sunday"

A little drabble for Leojami week's theme "Casual". :3 I hope u enjoy! Leona has no patience for paperwork on Sunday, what a surprise…

Leona sighed with a bored flick of his tail. He watched as Jamil idly chewed on the pencil he was supposed to be writing with; they were sitting at the kitchen table working on some applications or whatnot. Leona hadn’t paid attention but Jamil made it sound important, and boring. Important and boring and something that didn’t belong on a Sunday, he had just decided.

"Alright. That's enough,” he declared, pushing himself out of his chair and wrapping his arms around Jamil's waist to lift him bodily away from the table.

"Wh-? Leona!!" Jamil yelped, smacking the strong arms around his waist. "Let me go, this needs to be done by next week!"

"Big deal. It's Sunday, those forms ain't gonna go anywhere."

Jamil huffed in exasperation. "You do realise that if I don't do it, no one will. I know you won't unless hell freezes over."

Leona lets out a snort, not denying it. "I woulda used a different analogy, considering we were there for that. Wasn't pleasant."

Jamil flushed, "Right. I guess we were."

"Tell you what. You spend some nice, quality time with me, your amazing loving husband on a lovely Sunday like this, and I'll promise to cook tonight," he offered, squeezing Jamil playfully after having successfully carried him over to the couch.

Jamil sighed and slumped in his arms. Leona watched in amusement as he could see the gears turning in Jamil’s head on whether that offer was at all remotely worth it.

To his surprise, he apparently came to the conclusion that it was. "Fine. What do you have in mind, oh amazing loving husband of mine."

"Hmmm..." Leona hummed against Jamil's hair, "I dunno. Didn't think this far ahead, just wanted you to stop working."

"Really?" Jamil sighed the deepest sigh he could muster and wrestled himself free so he could turn around in Leona's lap, "Why do I like you, again?"

"According to my mental records, you said something about being madly in love with me after a heroic display of saving your ass in hell. You know? When it was frozen over and everythin'--" The rest of what he was going to say got cut off as Jamil shut him up by firmly pressing their lips together.

Leona smiled into the kiss, his hand reaching up for Jamil's neck to deepen it. Jamil moaned into his mouth, adjusting his seating to straddle Leona better and pressing closer up against him.

"Had to shut you up," Jamil panted, barely pulling away to breathe after a few beats.

"Uhu. 'Course." Leona grinned, though equally out of breath.

"It was the best way."

"Yeah," Leona agreed. "Ain’t complainin’, I think I like this deal."

"Then you best prepare to serve me dinner and dessert," Jamil murmured against his mouth, fingers teasing at the nape of his neck.

"As you wish."

<-- They ordered pizza. The end.

[oliviaischillin1204]

lots to learn

Pairings: Romantic Anamoceit

Word Count: 1,323 words

this is a direct sequel to this minific from a few years ago, they don't have to be read together but u might as well lol

"... I guess I've got a lot to learn."

"I think we all do!"

Virgil smiled up at him, and really, Patton couldn't help but lean down and press a kiss against his forehead.

"Do we wanna keep going, or are we tired?" he asked lightly. He really hadn't meant to tease, but it was pretty cute how both Virgil and Janus went suddenly shy at the idea of them continuing their little 'lesson'.

"Well, I for one have quite a busy morning at work tomorrow," Janus interjected, pretending he wasn't flushed and avoiding Patton's eyes. "So I'll have to pass on being the... subject, in order to get any actual rest. Unfortunately."

"Oh, sure," Patton replied. "So that means you're definitely not going to get any more tickles tonight, unless you change your mind and ask me or Virge to tickle you! That's what you want, right? No more tickles tonight?"

Janus' fingers clenched where he'd folded his arms protectively over his chest. "...Yes. It's not like I'd ever ask for more, of course."

"Oh, of course not," Patton teased, winking obviously at his husband. He gave Janus about twenty minutes tops before he caved and starting begging, which meant...

Patton smiled down at Virgil, who was still lying on his back in between himself and Janus. He returned Patton's gaze with a shy yet cocky gaze.

"Do you wanna...?" Patton offered. Virgil nodded wordlessly, biting his lip.

"Aw, yeah? You wanna go ahead and lift those arms for me, then?" he continued.

There were a few moments as Virgil took in a slow, shaky breath, before he managed to fold his arms behind his head. Janus shifted, sitting up further, but the slight movement was enough to make Virgil slam his arms back down to his sides with a panicked noise.

Neither Patton or Janus could stop the laughter that burst out of them.

"My goodness, darling, is it really that bad?" Janus teased.

"Oh, come on, Janny, you know how it is!" Patton retorted. "The anticipation makes everything feel so much more sensitive, huh, Virge?"

Virgil didn't respond; he was too busy burying his dark face in his hands as his partners teased him. "Please kill me."

"You wish," Janus replied. "Arms up, buttercup."

"Janus."

"If you have a problem with nicknames I'm afraid you're going to have to speak up soon. Patton can be quite creative."

Patton smirked, his voice a sing-song as he replied, "You would know!"

"Enough," Janus said in a voice that was not quite begging. "Eyes on Virgil, please."

Patton chuckled one more time, but did move on the bed until he was lying comfortably on his side next to Virgil, one hand propping up his head while the other rested innocently next to Virgil's side. Janus did the same; Virgil cut his eyes over to him, and he merely gave him that slow, sharp smile that Virgil loved.

"Should we make it a game?" Patton asked, fingers drumming the mattress and making Virgil tense up.

Janus hummed. "Maybe 'how long can you keep your arms up'? Or 'how long can you hold in your laughter'?"

"I'm not gonna last that long," Virgil blurted. His arms twitched, begging to drop to his sides, but he kept his hands behind his head. "I'm-- I'm really ticklish, and you're making it so horrible, but I do like it, but I feel like I'm gonna explode and you haven't even started yet--"

"Shhhhhhh," Janus whispered. "Breathe, Vergilius." His raised his hand, letting Virgil keep his eyes on his fingers as they curled in the air. "Just trust us. We'll take care of you."

Virgil was so entranced by Janus' fingers that he was completely unprepared for Patton running his nails down his side. Virgil gasped; his arms dropped just as he'd warned them, but Janus was viper-quick and managed to grab one elbow, pinning the arm closest to him back next to Virgil's head.

"Oh, hello," Janus purred, "what's this?" He fluttered his nails on Virgil's other side, the mirror image of where Patton's hand had been, and Virgil couldn't stop the keening squeal that escaped from his throat.

"Aw, is that a good spot?" Patton cooed. He copied Janus' pose by easily pulling Virgil's arm up so he could pin it (either because Patton was clearly stronger than Virgil and was able to pry his arm away from his side, or because Virgil was actually trying very hard to not protect himself from the tickles).

"Must be, if he's fighting us this much," Janus continued.

"Can't-- hehehelp it!" Virgil whined. His laughter was coming out in spurts and bursts, like he was trying to hold it back. This was torture; Patton's rough hands and rounded nails scratching between his ribs and his side was already enough to make him want to lose it, but Janus was much more delicate, which was freaking worse, because that meant he let his well-manicured nails dance ever so gently just above the most sensitive spots along Virgil's waistline, not speeding up and not going any rougher, just enough to make Virgil want to throw his head back and wail.

Of course, he couldn't do that, because he had three sleeping kids in the house and the thought of having to go through their bedtime routines yet again was exhausting. All he could do was lean forward and gasp in a breath as quietly as possible before saying, "Wait wait wait wait--"

His partners stopped immediately.

"I can't-- can't be quiet," he choked out. "The kids-- I don't wanna wake them, I'm sorry--"

"It's alright, sweetie," Patton replied, stroking Virgil's hair. He looked over Virgil's head at Janus, and the two seemed to have a silent conversation for a moment before he continued, "I have a thought."

The next thing Virgil knew, Patton was maneuvering him around, even picking him up for a brief moment and making Virgil yelp with surprise. When he was settled, Virgil found himself sitting on Patton's lap, his legs on either side of Patton's hips and their chests nearly pressed together. Heat rushed back to his face at the proximity.

"How about this?" Patton asked. "You need to laugh, you do it into my shoulder."

Virgil was about to respond when suddenly the hairs on the back of his neck stood up as Janus leaned up to whisper in his ear.

"Would that help you stay a bit quieter, darling?"

Virgil nodded so fast he almost hurt himself. "Yes."

He could feel Janus' grin again the back of his neck. "Good." That's all the warning he had before Janus' nails trailed all the way down his sides, from his armpits to just above his hips.

The noise that came out of him was nearly indecent, but Patton's hand came up and pushed Virgil's head into his shoulder just in time. This was almost worse, for Virgil-- not being able to see anything, so vulnerable and exposed pressed between his partners' chests-- but at least he didn't have to hold in his laughter anymore. He could merely relish in it as Patton's hands wrapped around his back to trace and spider through his sleep shirt all over the sensitive spots on his back, or as Janus' hands snuck around to flutter damningly all over Virgil's stomach.

"It's okay," Patton murmured into Virgil's hair, although the other man could barely hear it over his own muffled laughter. "We've got you. Just laugh it out."

"Besides," Janus continued, curling forward so his breath could once again tickle Virgil's ears, "it's your day off tomorrow. I think this is a perfect chance to explore this wonderful little secret I found, hmm?"

Virgil could blame it on the fact that he couldn't speak at the moment-- not with his mouth, wide open and wailing, pressed into the warmth that was Patton's shoulder-- but if he were honest... he couldn't agree with Janus more.

[anisespice]

“ that electric toothbrush sounds crazy right now ” || hq! 

synopsis: on the phone with them, & the buzzing coming from your end sounded a little suspect.  pairing: various x fem!reader [ bokuto, oikawa, mattsun ] warnings: mature language, mentions of phone sex, crack note: based on a real life event i had where i thought my friend’s electric shaver was a vibrator lol p.s changed it to a toothbrush since i figured it was a more common tool compared to shavers. p.p.s i don’t know what this is either. but hope you enjoy! ♡

bokuto ッ 

Flabbergasted. This man would be caught SO off guard, immediately turning red as fucking stop sign thinking that he was being a pervert or sum. While on the phone with Big B, you were in separate time zones due to volleyball—He was getting up, you were getting ready for bed. It was a regular phone call since FaceTime wanted to act up due to his poor connection, and he refused to break tradition of you falling asleep next to him…distance be damned.

It’s only been a week, and he’s already homesick. You could hear his teammates teasing him in the background, amused at the fact Bokuto held no shame in expressing his undying love for you so openly, but expected nothing less. However, it wasn’t long until the atmosphere changed when you started brushing your teeth. Your boyfriend had no idea you recently bought a new toothbrush, let alone an electric one. So when the buzzing started and you went silent for a while…

You heard shuffling, concerned but you figured he was just moving around so you continued brushing your teeth. It wasn’t until you heard the sound of a door slam did you decide to spit in worry. “Ko? You alright?”

He’s quiet; alarmingly quiet. Then, with strain, he squeaked.

“U-Uhm…babe? Can I get a warning next time, t-the guys were still around—Unless, y-you’re into that! Which is totally fine, b-but I wished you brought it up beforehand so that I was prepared…”

You had no clue what he was going on about, and he kept rambling until you eventually asked him what the issue was. When he did, you barely held it together; you were never going to let him live this down. Now before you brushed your teeth over the phone, you’d tease by warning him ahead of time. 

Bokuto turned red every single time.

oikawa ッ 

Obnoxious. This BITCH would be eating it up! Despite the fact that he freaked himself out jumping to this conclusion, not knowing how to handle it at first, he couldn’t help but to scandalize it immediately.  

He, like Bokuto, would be out of town due to volleyball, so phone calls were a must. At any point in time Oikawa had a free moment, he’d be on the phone with you. If it wasn’t already apparent, this man was needy for you, craving your presence like oxygen. You’d call him dramatic, and with good reason, but wouldn’t want it any other way—You missed him just as much. 

So, when you went outta frame while he was reminiscing about his day, he thought nothing of it; he knew you liked to keep busy while on the phone. But, as soon as his ears caught on to the faint sound of buzzing from your end, that conversation flew right out the window. Like a meerkat, Oikawa sat straight up as he pulled the phone closer to his face, angling it around as if that would help him see further into the room. This man would put the speaker up to his ear and STRETCH it to see if he could hear any…other sounds. 

“Goodness, [_____], how very lewd of you. If you missed me that much all you had to do was say so, sweetheart!~” 

When you came back into frame, foam in your mouth and toothbrush in hand with a confused expression, Oikawa’s entire demeanor just deflated. 

“Oh. Nevermind.” 

mattsun ッ 

Smug. Thinks he’s hot shit AKSJSKS and he is  but that’s not to say he wouldn’t be caught off guard. Whenever y’all called one another, you’d be doing your own things on the phone as if you were in the same room. He’d either be playing video games or watching tv while you’d be on social media, or doing chores around your apartment, just to keep each other company without needing to waste gas (especially in this economy whew). 

At some point during your regularly scheduled phone call, you decided to brush your teeth to keep from eating anymore junk before bed (as if that would really stop anyone, but it helps sometimes lol). Mattsun had been so engrossed in whatever he was doing, didn’t even notice you getting up and taking your phone to the bathroom. It wasn’t until you turned the water on and your toothbrush did his mind instantly go in the wrong direction in terms of identifying the sound; he knew it was a toothbrush, but just couldn’t help himself. 

“Whoa, if you wanted privacy, you could’ve just hung up. But, can’t say I don’t like where this is headed.” He’d tease. You’d come into frame with your toothbrush in your mouth, confused as hell. Mattsun wiggled his eyebrows as he leaned closer to the phone. “You gonna swallow for me, princess?” 

“WHAT?” 

© 2022-2023 anisespice ッ all rights reserved. likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!

[takami-takami]

hii I love all ur posts and writing !! (bare with me english not my native language but talking with people helps)

just wanted to ask what do u think hawks would be like when thinking abt getting married, some people think he isnt that type of person more like douchebag / playboy etc but hes a sweetheart deep down considering everything that happened to him (and "mean!hawks" too IDK hes prob just a annoying tease in bed) anyways i was thinking about it earlier and i was like wtf would he do, im sure he would do it in private but other than that idk because the commission, planning, what are ur thoughts? maybe he would be really anxious thinking about it but he knows ur the one? nobody has written about this like for real ( i THINK) if u or someone else has tell me PLEASE. i"ve been thinking about it for a while (a Lil embarrassed ngl)

just asking what u think in general what he would do bc like said havent seen anyone talk about it

at the start of the relationship, he's probably like nervous to even be in one but after like 3 months or something he probably wants to be with you forever and never let u go, it would be a bit hard for him to plan it all out because he barely has anyone to talk about it other than you unless he hired someone which no.. i think because he wants to make it special from his heart + the commission giving him any time to do anything let alone a honey moon and blah ya know?

other than that im stumped no idea

(u can ignore idm !! )

(MHA season 6 episode 3 spoilers ahead!)

People say Hawks is a playboy, but that couldn't be further from the truth. He's such a sweetheart. Self sacrificing.

I think he falls hard. It is extremely difficult for him to trust, given not only his childhood, but his time with the commission, too. With the amount of undercover dirty work they made him do, there's no doubt they taught him from very young to trust no one. The message from his parents and the commission is clear: he can only trust himself.

But... We know Keigo still feels; so, so strongly. Dabi mocks him for it, mocks him because he can't stop himself from being "distracted by his emotions". Even when he knows what he's "supposed" to do in the Twice scene, he hesitates because it fucking hurts, he still feels pangs of empathy. Despite all he was taught about shutting off your emotions, that's something he still can't do completely, even if he ultimately decides to do the opposite of what he feels.

So. It would take a very, very long time for him to truly open up to you, much less recognize his feelings as romantic (he goes through a stage of denial, because he never saw himself actually being "selfish" and allowing himself a real relationship). But once he has his mind made up, and really makes that decision to be yours, he will not give that up for anything. He follows through to the end.

I think he always wanted to get married. Not in the way his parents did; he never did have a good example. But the way people on TV did, the way they wax poetic about in songs he never understood. He is definitely the marriage, soulmates kind of guy. He craves that slow, that domesticity, to protect.

You make such a good point that he wouldn't know what to do because he has no one to talk about it with... But he knows he wants it to be special. He would fret and fuss so hard about it being perfect, trying to impress you and stressing over it so badly.

Until one day, you grab his hand and tell him, "lets get married, right here. Right now." It doesn't have to be official to be entirely authentic and in love and you. To the backdrop of the dim light of a summer evening, under the flourescent glow of the string lights adorning your back porch, you have your first dance to the tune of the creaky wood beneath your feet. You dance to the tune of a love song he finally understands.

[intheticklecloset]

Peppermint Mochas! Ahhh!! ^.^

Can I request Lee Bakugo, Ler Midoriya? Maybe Bakugo tries to sneakily use a cheat he discovered in a video game but Midoriya realizes it and tries to get him to admit that he cheated and what the cheat was? (Maybe Bakugo escapes and gets caught again? But honestly you do what you want! ^u^)

Thank you for taking the time! <3

❄️ Peppermint Mocha Special Order ❄️

~~~

Deku couldn’t fathom what he was looking at on the TV screen. Just moments ago he’d been whooping Bakugou in a game of Mario Kart – on Rainbow Road, no less! – and the next, the blonde was cruising over the finish line an entire lap ahead of him.

At first the grenette was willing to let it go – maybe he’d gotten so caught up in the gaming that he’d missed his friend passing him? – but then Bakugou laughed and pumped his fist in the air proudly and that was it. He had to know what had happened.

“How did you get ahead of me?” Deku asked, casually crossing the finish line in third place and looking at his atomic friend.

“I’m just that good, nerd, obviously!”

“But…you’ve been losing all day—”

“Shut up! No I haven’t! I’ve been going easy on your ass to make you feel better, but now I’m bringing out the big guns. No more Mr. Nice Guy!”

Deku frowned, glancing at the screen. Bakugou was so far ahead of him now as the post-track scene played, waiting for them to move on to the awards ceremony. The greenette swore Bakugou had been leagues behind him just a minute before, but there was no other way to explain the sudden turnaround unless…

“Kacchan…did you cheat?”

Bakugou nearly threw his controller at him. “Of course not, you damn nerd! I just beat you! What, gonna be a sore loser now?”

“But it doesn’t make sense!” Deku insisted. “You were behind me, I know you were—”

“So cry me a river! Rainbow Road is my specialty!”

Deku didn’t believe him for a second. He frowned, considering how to go about his next approach. “Kacchan.” When the blonde finally looked at him directly, the smaller boy raised his hands like claws and said, “Tell me the truth.”

Bakugou was out of his seat and out the door into the cold so fast Deku could hardly believe his eyes. Still, he chased after the blonde – thank goodness OFA was faster than his friend’s explosions! – and quickly used Blackwhip to stop him in his tracks.

“Let me go, you stupid nerd! I didn’t cheat – wait!”

Deku quickly straddled him and smirked, knowing full well that his friend was lying and determined to prove it. “Wait for what, Kacchan?”

“Don’t – don’t try anything, damn Deku!”

But Deku just shrugged and, using Blackwhip to keep the blonde’s arms out of his way, started tickling his ribs and underarms without any further preamble.

“GAHAHAHAHAHA DEHEHEHEHEHEKU NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!” Bakugou screamed with laughter, thrashing in the snow helplessly, tiny sparks lighting up his palms. “FUHUHUHUCK IT’S COHOHOHOHOLD!! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!!”

“You’re the one who ran out here!” Deku laughed, easily and mercilessly keeping up with his friend’s squirming and booming laughter. “It’s your own fault if you get snow down your pants. Now…how exactly did you cheat back there, huh? Gonna tell me?”

Bakugou did eventually admit to his wrongdoing – but only after another several minutes of hysterical cackles and complaining about the snow.

[yoonieper]

Pecattiphilia— Part 7 | PJM

Pecattiphilia is the sexual arousal from performing an act one believes is a sin.

✽ Pairing: Jimin x Reader

✽ Genre: Angel Au, angst, fluff, smut, this is a slow burn (kinda?)! 

✽ Rated: U for Unexpected

✽ Series Warnings: This series will include discussion of religious aspects such as the afterlife and concepts of heaven and hell (There are no direct ties to any specific religion besides the mention of angels and demons— all aspects of religion was created by me for this series), this series includes a lot of violence (sometimes graphic depictions) and gore (nothing extreme, Jimin and the boys fight monsters sometimes), and mentions of sin (particularly revolving around sexual topics)

✽ Chapter Specific Warnings: just a whole lotta angst, angst, more angst, with some fluff on the side~ things do get a little smutty, arguments :O, lots of feelings and emotions good and bad, Jimin… Jimin??

✽ Word Count: 18k

✽ Summary: Jimin is sent to watch over you and as the years go by he gets more and more curious and sometimes just wishes he could get to know you. But he knows that’s forbidden, it's sin. However, a freak accident somehow causes Jimin and your eyes to meet for the first time with purpose. He knows it shouldn’t happen but he doesn’t want to break away. He wants you to look at him, wants you to touch him, wants you to be with him. The problem is none of this should have happened in the first place… what’s happening to him?

✽ Now Playing…: STRINGS by MAX (feat. Bazzi & JVKE)— visit the masterlist for the full playlist!

✽ Author’s Note: This is officially the end of the first installment of this series— the intro has now been concluded after over 2 years 😭! I’ll be taking a little break from here because act 2 officially starts with part 8 and I want to have a couple of chapters completed so I can stay ahead of schedule and not keep you guys waiting like with act 1~ The storyboard for the series has already been completed for the most part and act 2 is definitely a LONG act so lots of fun is still ahead of us! It won’t be till 2024 for the next parts, but this next installment shouldn’t call for as long of a wait in between chapters because they should be more consistently on the shorter side so I should be able to get a lot done a lot more quicker, but once again I’ll make an announcement once I have things figured out~ I also hope that in between I’ll be able to go through some of the early parts and re-edit them because it’s been a solid minute since I first started this series and idk if those parts are holding up as well as they should 😭 I’ll let you guys know about any changes~ Last two things, 1) Spotify playlist is officially on the masterlist and 2) New graphics for this series might be on the way with Act 2 🫢... Anyway, enjoy :D!

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much :D

previous chapter « main masterlist ✩ series masterlist » 2024!

He was so fucking close. 

The pillow Jimin had clutched in his arms felt like the only lifeline he had to stop himself from throwing it all away, his hard work, his purity, his promise. His whole body shook uncontrollably, a feeling he was inexplicably unaccustomed to. Jimin was always in control, every fiber of his being moved and acted in the way he intended it to without fail. That’s how it always was and always how it should be— him in control. 

This was new. It was not the same type of new that gave him a fresh breath of life, a new perspective of the world, that fleeting craving of wanting to understand. It was a new that made him so easily miss the old. This was bad, he didn’t like it. 

It was too human, too unpredictable. 

Even though he was off of you he couldn’t get it out of his head— the softness of your body in his grasp, that lingering warmth of your hands across his skin, your bodies pressed against each other in a heat of emotions. It just kept playing over and over again even as you laid right next to him and his body just couldn’t stop shaking. 

He wanted to stop himself, he wanted to think he tried, but his hips kept steadily rocking into his firm grasp of the pillow, craving that it was your warmth he was meeting instead. 

If only… If only.

He felt depraved and if his teammates could see him now, he just knew they would have the most to say. He probably looked pathetic and this sight would have made him laugh with disgust in the past.

Yet here he was…

It hurt so fucking much— his pained whines and moans filled the growing silence in your room despite how much he tried to stop them.

He had been so close, if you kept going any longer… too close, he was too close to—

“Jimin?” At the sound of your voice he finally found the strength to look over at you. An immediate flood of guilt hit him at once, but deep down this strange sense of pride did too.

He had failed, but that also meant you were wrong and he was glad to prove you so.

“Are— are you happy now?” He said into the pillow, needing to pull it as close as possible because your robe had slipped off of one of your shoulders giving him a glimpse of the lingerie set you were wearing underneath.

Oh he was truly pathetic. Just a sliver of skin was enough to make him feel like this?!

It hurt so much… For the first time in his life he was willing to do anything to take away the pain— even if that meant doing it himself. Somehow he keeps growing more shameless as this whole situation gets worse. But he must not fall into temptation. It was sin and he was better than that. He had to be. 

His wrist hurt so much at this point, his whole body ached. Sin, he’s done so much sin but this was good, he needed it to hurt. 

“I told you, you’re mine.” Jimin couldn’t help but smirk to himself. 

It felt so fucking good for you to finally see him— the real him according to you. The dream world was the same as the normal plane to him, but for some reason humans didn’t see it the same way. 

But being here now you had no reason to run off with someone else. You were his.

He’d hoped this would warrant a better reaction, a celebration even, but he didn’t even need to ask to know that wasn’t the case.

“I… I have to be dreaming…” You seemed dazed almost as you tried to look around at your surroundings, looking for any hint you still might be asleep. You had to be, Jimin didn’t exist, he—

“Are you seriously still doing that?” Jimin groaned into the pillow before turning to face you, because he was tired of this ignorant act. 

What more would it take?

“I’m asleep right now— just feeling guilty about the date later— that’s all this is…” But the more you looked the more deep down you knew things were different this time. 

“Look at me.” His tone was demanding, immediately commanding you for his attention. You couldn’t help but obey his order and turned so you were staring directly into his light brown eyes.

So enchanting, haunting, he was beautiful.

He seemed different, looked different, he was glowing almost. 

Jimin steadily moved the pillow to the side and moved so he was sitting right in front of you. It was almost intimidating, his presence carrying this weight that was just bordered overwhelming.

“Is that what you want, hm?” He definitely was upset. 

“You want this to be a dream so bad so you can go on your date— just leave me and you can run off with you boyfriend, since apparently we’re done, is that right?” He let out a dark laugh.

“But you can’t be real…” Your voice started to waver the more you looked at him. You gripped the sheets underneath you tightly.

“I think I really lost my mind.” You tried to compose yourself but the cracks were just getting bigger.

“And you really believe that?” Jimin laughed again but it was different this time, sadder, like he truly was hurt. He sat up so he was hovering over you, only inches from your face. 

“It has to be because I looked!” Your emotions were starting to boil over. 

“I looked everywhere! Why are you just now showing up, right before I’m trying my best to move on?!” Tears had started streaming down your cheeks.

“If Jimin really was real, the one I met in my dreams, why would he show up now? Had he not heard me plead every single night that by some miracle he’d show up, why would he suddenly manifest into my room now and make things complicated?” Pain, it hurt so much to even look at him. 

Jimin felt the guilt immediately wash over him. Sometimes it was easy to forget who he was dealing with. You were human— a simple creature that could somehow have him on his knees with the snap of your fingers. 

Of course you would have trouble understanding.

His gaze changed at your outburst, there was this sympathy behind his warm eyes, an understanding that this wasn’t as black and white as he was trying to make it out to be. 

Jimin looked into your eyes as he lifted his hand to steadily wipe away the tears that just wouldn’t stop flowing.

They really wouldn’t.

His hand was warm and sent sparks all throughout your body. How? How were you feeling this?

It was easier to say maybe you really lost your mind and you were seeing things but you could feel him. The touch you’d longed for since your first date under the tree, and it was everything you wanted and more. 

Unless you’d really crossed the line or died trying to get ready for your date, you just knew this was real, Jimin was really here with you somehow.

He chuckled at that. “No, you’re not dead yet. I’m here, I’m sorry I’m late.” And there was that smile, that same one that greeted you when you first wandered through the field in your dreams.

This was Jimin, your Jimin, the same one you’ve met almost every night for the last three months. He was here…

How?

How the fuck was he here?

Instinctively you backed up so you were pressed right against your headboard, pulling your robe closer to hug at your body for comfort. The air around you both shifted almost immediately.

“Who… who are you?” Your voice wavered for an entirely different reason.

You watched as his expression fall, his warm eyes growing dimmer by the second. You could tell you hurt his feelings.

“It’s— it’s me Jimin.” He still tried to keep the smile but he could just sense your uneasiness.

“Jimin?” You still couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah me, Jimin.”

“Jimin who?” It was a strange question he didn’t get at first.

“Just Jimin… your Jimin, the same one you’ve always known.” He tried again. 

You just looked at him for a little while and even though Jimin was always in your head, he couldn’t make sense of the thoughts racing around in your mind. He knew he didn’t like them.

You moved even further away, his words seemingly bringing no comfort.

“How?— I just don’t understand.” You were beyond confused and just looking at him made you feel like you lost your mind.

Jimin tried to stay calm knowing this was a lot to process for you. 

“Well, that would be a little hard to explain—“

“Why are you here?” You asked before he could even finish. You were up and off the bed pacing around your room before he could process the question. 

This wasn’t at all what he pictured if a time ever came he revealed himself to you. He tried to stop himself from getting angry that you were reacting like this. 

“For you! To hopefully stop you from leaving me!” Is that not obvious?

“What are you?!” This almost felt like an interrogation in how you were grilling him, yet he wasn’t sure if you were even listening to anything he had to say. 

“Your angel, I told you this! Your guardian, I watch over—“ 

He wasn’t able to finish before suddenly you loudly sighed as you took a seat at the edge of the bed, facing away from him. 

Jimin just stared at you as your hands came up over your face. He could hear your soft whimpers and he didn’t need to be close to see you were shaking. This wave of hurt washed over him all over again for an entirely different reason.

“Did you… did you not want me here?” There was this defeated, dejected tone to his voice making the question that much more weightier. 

You quickly turned around and he could see the tears in your eyes, you looked absolutely destroyed. 

“I don’t know!” You exclaimed, but it sounded more like a sob than anything. The confession immediately felt like he was shot everywhere in his body— something he’s experienced and the pain couldn’t even compare to what he felt like now. 

“This is too much— angel— you’re here! And I have a date I’m supposed to go to an hour and a half from now!” You cried. It was obvious you were overwhelmed, Jimin knew that but this pain didn’t let that fact process and he was taking your words at face value. 

Jimin scooted further away from you so he was sitting at the opposite edge of the bed. 

“Well I’m sorry I interrupted… I’ll leave if you want me too.” His voice had turned flat, devoid of all emotion, but his hands were shaking.

At this point he fully expected you to beg him to get out. He would have listened, at that point what left was there to stay for? He certainly didn’t expect you to suddenly get up, walk around the bed so you were standing right in front of him.  

Jimin hesitantly looked up and the heart he didn’t have just shattered into pieces seeing how wet your face was. He hurt you, didn’t he?

“I’m confused— I can’t even process the angel thing, but I just can’t get past the question of why are you here?!” It came out mean and even though he knew what you meant by it, it still didn’t hurt any less.

Jimin just looked down. He didn’t want to see you right now.

“I told you.”

“But I just— why now?! Why didn’t you come sooner?! Days ago when Jin-Sang asked me, weeks before it happened? Why didn’t you come to me during our first meeting?!” This was horribly timed, too much was happening, you were confused and you were taking it all out on him. 

Jimin finally found the strength to look up again.

“I couldn’t.” 

“WHY?!” You didn’t mean to yell but you just couldn’t understand.

Suddenly Jimin stood up right in front of you. You were a little taken aback, seeing him stand for some reason made this whole situation that much more real having him right in front of you like this. He was taller than you, not by much, but enough you had to look up at him. It was a little intimidating considering the situation.

“I’m not supposed to be here— I tried meeting you the way I knew how, but I couldn’t lose you to the fact you didn’t think I was real!” He could only muster just sounding slightly annoyed.

“So what I’m hearing is that it took Jin-Sang asking me out to get you to come but not me wanting you here was enough...” You knew that’s not what he was saying but it’s how you felt.

Jimin just looked absolutely defeated.

This wasn’t at all how this was supposed to go.

“Y/n you have no idea what I’m risking being here! I wish I could have been here sooner! For you to think I don’t care— do you know how much I need to care to be here! I don’t care about any other human but you! Jin-Sang has nothing to do with this.” He didn’t yell but you could tell he was upset. 

You could see it in his eyes— the light brown color growing darker by the second.

It was different when this was all in your head but now that he was actually standing here the weight of the term angel became frightening. You had no idea what he could do to you?

Who was he really?

Jimin looked down again, your thoughts were overwhelming and he honestly just wanted to leave. He was scaring you after all.

“I’ll leave if you want me to.” Jimin was trying so hard to keep it together. This was the normal plane, a breakdown certainly wouldn’t mean well here.

“Jimin I— I’m just confused, scared, too much is happening.” You didn’t like seeing him upset but the way your heart was rapidly beating in your chest made the only thing in control was your brain trying to survive, and not your heart.

“I’m sorry— I ruined your day for you. You were excited about your date and I came at a bad time. You can still make it on time if you hurry— Jin-Sang is almost done getting ready and heading out soon.” He tried to force a smile but he probably looked like he was seconds away from bursting into tears— he couldn’t but it sure looked like it.

Jimin hastily tried to push past you toward your bedroom door, but you grabbed his wrist before he could get too far.

You watched as he looked down at your hand before slowly trailing up your body to meet your eyes.

“Just give me time, ok?” Your words said one thing but your hand was shaking.

You were absolutely terrified of him. 

That hurt worse than any of your words did.

“Good luck with your date— I’ll be around.” Jimin pulled his arm from your grasp and headed for the door.

“Jimin—“ You called out once his hand grabbed hold of the handle. 

He stood there for a second, seemingly lost in thought before turning to you. 

“I can’t believe you’d think that I’d ever—“ You were scared of him for a reason. Being shocked is one thing, something he could understand considering the nature of your reality, but you were literally shaking around him. He obviously didn’t do something right leading up to this for you to even think of that possibility.

“I’m sorry… I guess I really was bad at this, huh?” It was a pained laugh, Jimin just wanted to disappear.

Before you could even respond you watched as he pulled open the door and walked out of your room. You tried to case after him, but the door closed right in your face. 

Hurried you pulled open the door but you were just met with your empty apartment. Jimin was nowhere in sight.

In actuality he wasn’t far, he was right in front of you. He had finally turned back around to see your panic at the fact he was gone. When you went to look further into your apartment you simply phased right through him when you went to see if you somehow missed him.

Jimin didn’t follow you, he just collapsed right there.

The storm clouds were back and he was soaked in a matter of seconds. He didn’t have words anymore, it hurt too much to try and think about it.

For once he wanted to close his eyes and know peace.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

The first thing you did afterward was text Jin-Sang that you couldn’t make it to your date later. You said something vague about something coming up suddenly and you wouldn’t be able to be there. He responded back by first asking if you were ok, you told him you were, and then gave you this cute sad face before sending his last text.

Jin-Sang [3:22pm]: ah well :(

Jin-Sang [3:23pm]: maybe next time!

You felt bad but going on a date was the last thing on your mind considering what you thought was your very make-believe boyfriend turned out to be a very real person who suddenly magically appeared in your room only hours before you were about to go on a date with someone else. 

A date was out of the question.

It was crazy and sounded like something out of a weird romance book you probably would have never picked up. 

You honestly were wondering if you made up the whole encounter in your head considering its absurdity, but when you went back to your room your date clothes were crumpled up on the floor right where Jimin laid.

This whole thing didn’t make any sense, how, how, how was he here?

You honestly couldn’t wrap your head around it and the more you thought about all the moments you shared with each other in your dreams you started looking at everything with a new perspective. 

At the moment all you could think about was the terrifying implications but as you laid back down on your bed, it was somewhat equally as fascinating.

Angels exist? And for some reason one of them liked you?

You!

Why you?!

You of all people?

You weren’t anything special— you weren’t the most beautiful person in the world, you certainly weren’t the smartest, for an angel of all people to like you…? YOU?!

It sounded like the start of some stand up routine, one you wouldn’t find very funny. 

And Jimin?

An angel?!

The stuff he managed to do in your dreams, you remembered the wings, those wings, the stories he’d tell, and the fact he was in your head all the time.

Part of you probably would have been wondering if any of that were things that transferred to reality, but you explicitly remembered Jimin was in your head just like in your dreams. This was wild, terrifying, and you wanted to know more.

Then there was the whole thing about your relationship.

He lied to you. Well, he technically didn’t lie, but he wasn’t being truthful about who he was. He made you believe this entire time he wasn’t real and swooped in right at the last minute to reveal he was.

What even were you now?

It was too much, this entire day was just a roller coaster of emotions. You couldn’t text or call Mina and rant to her about how crazy things went today, she would just think you’re crazy.

All you pretty much did all day was pace around your apartment— you probably did look like you’re crazy, talking out loud to yourself trying to make sense of everything or what you should do going forward. 

You also felt bad for what you said to him.

Now having a moment to think, your reaction was a bit much and he had every right to be mad at you. Too much was happening and you definitely regretted some of what you said— some of it you still thought was justified.

It was complicated, you thought this whole situation was a mess. You felt like you had been run through the washing machine five times in a row and then the world just had to give you that extra spin cycle because apparently that wasn’t enough. At some point you finally just had to sit down.

It was only 9:30 but you were out in a matter of ten minutes. No dreams, maybe Jimin had left from protecting you tonight, but instead it was just nightmares— nightmares about him oddly enough.

Some were worse than others— In one you were married, he wasn’t an angel, it was just you, Y/n and Jimin married with a house together— no kids yet you don’t think. It was a dream almost for the most part, you both doing domestic things like cooking and laundry. It all took a turn when you had asked Jimin to help you find some of your old textbooks— you had wanted to review before the semester started and Jimin had been kind enough to help you. When you went into your storage room you had both rummaged through a few unpacked moving boxes but your search was interrupted when you turned around and you were face to face with a monster.

It was strange, scary, it was fuzzy now but immediately the figure put their hand– it was cold and slimy, you did remember that– they put it over your mouth when you tried to scream out to Jimin.

But the figure spun you around so you could see it wasn’t the only one, before you could even process the whole thing, the one that was after Jimin took a knife to his chest and then it slowly dragged his lifeless body into this strange darkness.

Absolutely terrifying and you woke up in a cold sweat each and every time but that didn’t compare to the other ones that plagued your mind overnight.

Jimin was the scary monster dragging you down.

You didn’t know where this came from but you did all at the same time.

You were scared of him— not of Jimin specifically— or maybe you were, you weren’t sure. You couldn’t forget his eyes right before he left. That was your Jimin the same one you saw every night, it’s more so the fact you didn’t understand exactly what he was and his presence. 

You could never forget how it felt when he was close to you. It was weighty, commanding, yet warm and light at the same time. You didn’t want to look away.

There was so much you didn’t understand you couldn’t help but be scared. You felt bad though because deep down for some reason you knew there wasn’t any reason to be, it was a more of a natural human reaction for something you didn’t understand.

You still didn’t think it was right though.

You had gone to bed early but because of the constant nightmares you were stuck tossing and turning all night. You were exhausted even though on the clock it said you slept 12 hours, waking up five or six times in between made all of that useless. 

You were tempted to try and sleep more but you didn’t want any more nightmares and despite your exhaustion you just knew you couldn’t sleep with all the thoughts swimming around in your head. You had to face this issue head on or you’d never be able to sort through everything and figure out what you actually wanted.

Somehow you found the energy to get up and go shower, finally giving you the opportunity to change out of your lingerie and robe into some actual comfy clothes. The shower helped slightly in waking you up and just gave you a chance to temporarily wash all your worries and stress away that you needed to before trying to do this again. 

It was refreshing and after a little breakfast you felt rejuvenated enough to finally make the move you knew you needed to.

You looked around your apartment wondering how you were supposed to do this. Part of you was even worried that yesterday was all another one of your nightmares, but deep down you knew.

“Jimin?” You called out, hesitantly. You instantly felt a little crazy.

Was this how you were supposed to do this? Could he hear you? Was he even around after what happened yesterday? Did yesterday actually even happen?!

“Jimin.” You tried again a little more calmly but you still felt so unsure of yourself. You were standing in the living room but you decided to take a seat on the couch.

“Look, Jimin I don’t know if you’re listening— if yesterday actually happened or not, maybe you’re gone after how I treated you… but… I needed some time to process things and if you wanted to talk about things…” You groaned, was this actually working?

“I’m sorry… I really want to see and speak to you again. Can we start over?” You said out into the void. 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” You jumped at the sudden sound of another voice. You turned your head to the right and low and behold there was Jimin once again, the same Jimin you saw yesterday.

He was sitting at the other end of your couch and had one of the cushions in his lap. He held the same dejected expression that honestly seemed worse than the last time you saw each other.

It was like how you saw him in your dreams before this whole fiasco started— gone was that Jimin who would happily embrace you with open arms, who’s smile would light up the entire universe if possible, instead he seemed desolate, despondent, dispirited as he held his head low, not looking at you, but the pillow in his lap.

You tried your best to calm your beating heart because he literally manifested out of nowhere.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you again.” You vaguely picked on his use of again. An overwhelming amount of guilt came over you just hearing how sad he seemed. This was all your fault.

“I just— you can do that? Disappear and reappear?” You tried to laugh as you turned to him. You wanted to lighten the mood, things were so tense now.

But the silence continued and you figured he wasn’t going to respond to that. Just sitting next to him though it slowly started to dawn on you that yesterday did in fact happen, Jimin was real, and you were talking with an angel… literally!

The nerves were back all over again but you tried not to let them show.

“Jimin I—… I’m really sorry about yesterday.” You finally had to say something.

“Things just happened so fast, it was so sudden and I really… I was really overwhelmed.” You laid it out and you were honest. You were still overwhelmed but with a little bit of sleep and time you felt like you were in a better space to process the situation.

He was still silent. You hated this.

In a bold effort in order to get him to talk to you, you quickly scooted over to his side so you were sitting right beside him. Your thigh was right against his, and the minute you got close you were blessed with that enchanting presence you felt yesterday. It was strange, but you liked it, it made you feel all tingly inside.

Being this close also gave you a chance to really see him. His beautiful dirty blonde hair was a little curly and longer than it was in your dreams, it was pretty in the way it came down and framed his round face. It looked so soft just like he seemed, his features so delicate like a statue that seemed too lifelike to be made of marble. How someone this beautiful could exist didn’t seem possible and surely he could never be human.

Maybe you should have known sooner.

“Y/n you don’t need to pretend… I’m in your head, remember?” Jimin quietly said, taking you out of your thoughts.

You knew what he was talking about and at first you wanted to deny it but you knew you couldn’t lie to him.

“Then talk to me, explain why I shouldn’t be scared?” You pleaded. You wanted some type of explanation at what was going on.

“Who are you?” You asked once again. You needed some type of answers.

Jimin was silent again for a while and at first you worried this meant he wouldn’t talk to you. Maybe he was done after what happened yesterday.

“I never lied to you… I told you who I was when we first met. You just didn’t believe me.” You weren’t prepared for the cute pout he spoke with as he played with his fingers in his lap.

Oh.

“It was kinda hard to believe you when you were telling me in my dreams. Even then I thought that was just like— you know, I’m so sweet, I’m such an angel type thing. Not literally!” You exclaimed. How were you supposed to know he was being serious?

“I guess you’re right— I’m not used to humans and I wrongly thought you got the picture.” He briefly looked over at you and even though you were sitting down, the glance you had at his eyes made a shiver run up your spine. The light brown color was back and something about them just made you want to never look away.

It was enough that you nearly glossed over what he said.

“Jimin, I’m sure you know I have a lot of questions…” 

Jimin steadily nodded his head. You probably didn’t even need to ask, he was in your head already to know what you were thinking. Yet he still left the floor open to you to ask first.

“How much can I ask?” You asked curiously. There had to be some limitations right?

“You’re right, I can’t really tell you about what I do…” He mentioned. 

“What can you tell me then?” 

Jimin thought about it for a second.

“Basically what I said to you yesterday— I’m in charge of watching over you, protecting you from the sin in the world up until you meet your end.” It was the most bare bones answer and certainly over summarized, but it got the job done.

“And that time you left, was that to protect me?” That was certainly not the question he expected you to ask next.

“Well— yes and no. It wasn’t you specifically— protecting you is my main duty but not the only one. Sometimes the bad guys are far away and my team and I need to take care of it.” Again another bare bones answer but it got the point across.

You steadily nodded and Jimin didn’t need to read your mind to know you were already starting to get overwhelmed.

“That’s as much as I can say, but I hope that helped.” He wanted to comfort you, to tell you things would be alright but any wrong move and he feared it would be enough to get you to panic again.

“It did— thank you.” You wanted to ask more, he knew you did, but there was one thought that was louder than the others.

“Am I the only person you’ve watched?” You asked.

Jimin shook his head. “Far from it actually, hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions would be an understatement.” He’s been around for so long, even with a perfect memory, the details like specific numbers can get fuzzy.

“Is this then your first time here on earth or— you know…” 

Jimin once again shook his head.

“Then— then I can’t be the only person who’s been in your life like I have, right.” Your voice started to waver. “There must be hundreds, thousands, millions then that you’ve gotten close to.” You rushed out before he could answer.

The urge to pull you close was almost suffocating.

“I… you’re the first.” Jimin finally turned to you and your eyes…

“Angels don’t really feel much most of the time. Besides being their protector, I felt nothing more than what my duty required. You’re different…” He made sure to add that last part. You needed to know.

“I— I don’t understand. Why me?!” You questioned but your eyes were watery wondering what possibly made you special.

Jimin looked off into the distance trying to think of an answer.

“I honestly have no idea— I don’t understand it either.” That was not the best response, he knew it as soon as it left his mouth. He was being honest though, he had no idea what was truly causing this to happen.

It certainly wasn’t normal, he shouldn’t feel anything, it shouldn’t even be possible for him to be capable of feeling anything. 

Some days Jimin honestly wondered if all it might just be is surface level attraction— you weren’t the first human he’s at the very least been attracted to, far from it actually. But never once had he ever wanted to pursue anything more than looking— if you enjoy looking at something, what is the harm in indulging that far?

Nothing and anything further than that was sin anyway. He had no desire… no desire for the most part until John and his relationship was Ana, but even that was a fraction of what he experienced with you.

And somehow it got so much worse in the recent months, right before he met you, right before he collapsed in your living room, it just got to the point where his feelings were suffocating. He wanted to meet you, actually meet you and get to know you.

It was far beyond the simple attraction, his insides felt strange anytime he’d even look in your direction. And then all the extra emotions, new ones, ones that felt over saturated. No, this was something entirely new.

Jimin was certainly attracted to you but it was more than that. It had to be.

Maybe the smart thing to do would have been to quickly follow that up with the last thing said, but instead the silence lasted for a little too long where it made it seem like that was all he had to say.

Jimin felt your heart start to break. “Oh ok— well umm— I’m sorry for— for— for—“ You were shaking beside him and he knew he had to do something.

This might have been a little too forward considering he was literally trying to convince you not to be scared of him, but he wanted to do anything to take the feelings away. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close.

“That’s not what I meant at all. I wish you could read my mind too because I suck at this talking thing.” He tried to laugh as his thumb gently stroked your arm. He really did feel bad, he shouldn’t make you feel like this.

“Angels aren’t really made for this— that’s why at first I tried to get close to you without crossing that line as much as I could. I didn’t want to hurt you because I’m not human and I don’t feel what you do. It’s why I said it meant so much to me when you said you were willing to try despite my incompetence. I get that it was in the context of a dream for you, but it was very real to me.” The reality dawned on him. Maybe you only said yes because it was a dream, but real life implications weren’t ones you were willing to put up with.

Maybe this was all his fault. Maybe the real reason he strictly met you in your dreams was because the terms and conditions he came with, he knew you would never agree to them in anything other than a dream.

It was pathetic.

A realization also hit you as he spoke. Jimin truly had once never lied to you or even really withheld any information. This was all things you’ve heard before, albeit without the proper context, but he had told you this before.

“I still don’t get it… why me?” You asked again because it just wasn’t making sense.

“I don’t have that answer but I do know that I’m glad it is. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to turn back but every time I meet you I never want to leave your side. I choose you and I will keep choosing you as long as you let me. A lot of this doesn’t make sense to me but for once I want to stop thinking and just embrace what is happening. You’ve allowed me to experience so much and I want to keep making new ones with you if you’ll allow me to.” It was a selfish ask, for him to want to put you through the pain that he knew he would enviably cause you.

It was a lot and you were overwhelmed again. There was one part of you that just wanted to leap into his arms that despite what happened yesterday you truly were exalted to find out he was actually real. All that hoping and wishing and now he’s sitting beside you on your couch. Then there was the other half that wanted to run away from society as a whole and become a hobbit somewhere in the woods because everything was too much to take at this point.

“Are you still scared of me?” Jimin asked timidly.

Again the urge to reassure him but you knew he was in your head to know you were lying.

“Not as much but it’s still a lot.” You laid it out. It was simply because this was all still so new and there was so much you didn’t understand about him. You were sure with time things might change.

“I can give you time. It’s a lot, I understand.” Jimin pulled you a little closer to reassure you, everything was fine and that he’d wait if he needed to.

“Thank you.” You weakly smiled.

Despite your words, part of you hoped he would stay and let you rest in his arms like this, it was nice. But just as you were really getting comfortable you felt Jimin suddenly shift. You looked up at him and you were shocked to see him looking off into the distance with a concerned look on his face. His eyes suddenly turned from a warm, light brown, into that blue that reminded you of the ocean.

“Uh— Y/n I’m sorry to cut this short but duty calls and I have work to do.” Jimin said hastily as he started moving you off of him.

You watched confusingly as he quickly got off the couch and reached in his pocket, pulling out this gold cylinder. You only saw it briefly but you were immediately captivated by the designs in the metal, they seemed so intricate, like someone spent an eternity crafting the piece into perfection. You wanted to take the time to study it more but he was moving so fast, it was hard to see anything exactly. 

You had questions, a lot of questions actually and you knew Jimin knew.

“I’m sorry I can’t answer them, but when you’re ready to talk again I’ll be around.” He turned and you just felt this warmth wash over you as you stared into his light blue eyes. He was beautiful and the more you looked the more you knew you had nothing to be afraid of.

“Just call me like you did this time and I’ll be there.” He smiled at you. All your worries for a moment felt like they flew away for a second, it was just you and Jimin and his dazzling smile.

You were starstruck. 

And if things couldn’t get anymore magical you watched as a pair of wings manifested right in front of your eyes, slowly unfolding and becoming more visible. It felt time itself slowed as you watched, the feathers themselves seemed to illuminate and sparkle in the sunlight. They probably spanned nearly the entire size of your living room, you were briefly able to turn behind them, just shy of touching the wall behind you. Just like in your dream they didn’t connect to his back, instead slowly becoming more visible. It was glorious and an overwhelming urge to tear up just hit you like a brick to the face. 

This was Jimin— the Jimin you’ve known since he first appeared in your dreams except he was really here with you. The sight was nothing like what you saw in your dreams anytime he’d somehow convince you to fly with him. This was him, really him.

You wanted to cry and tell him not to leave but you held it in. 

In one of the most confusing sights ever with one last smile toward you, you watched as he turned toward one of your windows before looking like he was ready to run straight into the wall. He probably only took two steps before it’s like he was sucked into a black hole, getting smaller to the point you couldn’t see him anymore. 

He was gone and you were alone again. 

You finally let the tears just fall from your eyes and they did almost uncontrollably, you were bawling in a matter of seconds.

What just happened?

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You were laid out on your bed when you got the text from Mina.

Mina [8:02pm]: Hey friend~ Just wanted to know how your date went with Jin-Sang last night 👀?

And suddenly you were back in reality. 

You hadn’t done much all day as all your mind could focus on was Jimin, Jimin, and more Jimin. You had even decided to call out of work tomorrow knowing you probably wouldn’t be able to get anything done feeling this. 

So much has happened it was easy to forget the outside world existed. You almost forgot what prompted everything in the first place, that you were supposed to go out with Jin-Sang yesterday and how Jimin had suddenly manifested into your room as a result.

You grabbed your phone and stared at your keyboard for a while wondering what to type. Do you tell her about Jimin? Certainly not everything but at least the fact that the mystery guy you were seeing showed up.

Mystery guy? 

He certainly wasn’t a mystery anymore, at least, not in the same way.

What were you now anyway?

Beforehand you were confident when you thought of Jimin as your boyfriend that lived in your head, but now could you even say that anymore?

Jimin turning out to be real really shook the foundations of your relationship, if anything were to continue you would at least need to start over slightly in order to build a new one all over again.

And this isn’t as simple as just that, but Jimin wasn’t human. He was an angel and you found that incredibly intimidating. There was so much you didn’t know or understand. He didn’t tell you much but you already knew dating wouldn’t be exactly an easy task and the issues you would face wouldn’t be like any other couple.

There was so much to consider that as much as you liked Jimin, you did, you really did, agreeing to just pick things up where you left off felt like a decision that was not as easy as you wanted it to be.

And Jimin heard your struggle. At first he was chilling in his spot on the building across from your apartment but as your thoughts started to focus more so on the nature of your relationship, he flew back over to your room and sat at the end of your bed.

You decided to text Mina.

You [8:10pm]: Won’t be at work tomorrow

You [8:10pm]: We can talk about it when I get back on Tuesday :)

Mina [8:11pm]:You okay??

You [8:12pm]: I’m fine, just a lot happened ㅠㅠ

Mina [8:13pm]: I can call if you need me to 

You [8:13pm]: I’m fine!

You [8:14pm]: Just need some time!

Mina [8:14pm]: You sure?

You [8:15pm]: Yeah, thank you though :3

Mina [8:16pm]: See you on Tuesday then, I’ll be waiting for the tea 👀~

You [8:17pm]: See you :)!

Mina [8:18pm]: Goodnight!

You [8:19pm]: Night!!

Jimin didn’t even need to see your phone to know what your texts were and he was curious what you were going to tell her. Part of him wanted to follow his promise and give you the space and time you needed to process it all and only be there when you wanted him. 

But it was that strange feeling that had him appearing in your room in the first place when he thought about you seeing Jin-Sang again that made him want to make sure you knew who you belonged to before seeing him again. 

Maybe if he was more confident in the fact you would choose him he wouldn’t care too much, but he wasn’t sure and so weren’t you. 

The fact that you might not even be together anymore made that feeling, this incipient need to remind you what you were even though the situation has significantly changed. He wanted you, he didn’t want you to leave him— to pick some human over him.

You deserved better and for some reason he thought he could give you that.

You can’t love her like she wants.

I want to though and I will prove it.

You will hurt her.

I won’t.

You will hurt you. You will hurt us.

She matters more.

This will only end in tragedy.

But Jimin didn’t want to listen anymore. His other half has caused him more turmoil than anything. Listening made him hurt you and if he was going to make you choose him, the more rational side was not needed when nothing he was doing anymore was rational.

He knew that but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as much anymore. All he wanted right now was to win you back and he’d do anything it takes to make that happen.

Anything, he’d do anything for you.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You really didn’t know why at first you decided to take Monday off, this weekend had just been so much you acted without thinking. Maybe work would have given you the chance to think about something else other than what transpired but it was already too late to take it back. 

It was Monday and you had a whole day ahead of you to try and figure this out. Then again, one day also didn’t seem like enough.

You were back on your couch again trying to rewatch Reply 1988 to take your mind off things, but you couldn’t focus. All your mind could seem to do was think about Jimin. What were you going to do?

You thought about his beauty, his glorious wings, the golden cylinder, the way Jimin just seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. You thought about all the dates you had in your head, the good times you shared. You also thought about how much you would plead every night when you’d wake up that somehow, somewhere Jimin existed and you would meet someday.

You still doubted at times that this weekend actually happened, it felt unreal, and you were trying to come to terms with the fact despite its outrageousness, somehow this was all real. It was too much.

Your wish came true and as guilty as you felt you still didn’t know exactly how you felt about it. Jimin showing up out of nowhere sounded good in your head, but the implications didn’t exactly register. You never thought it would need to. 

You never thought that would mean the Jimin you’ve been meeting in your dreams was an angel. 

An angel.

An angel?!

It made your head spin just thinking about it. 

At some point you just knew you had to get out the house because you were just going to keep spiraling if you let yourself stay here and wallow in your own thoughts.

You didn’t really have a destination in mind, you just found yourself getting ready. Maybe you’d just take a walk, maybe some retail therapy, maybe a nice meal was what you needed?

You had no idea and ultimately you just decided to feel it out when you got there.

You were wearing shorts and a simple t-shirt, today was too hot for anything more than that and to be honest you had no interest in trying to dress up a little more. All you wanted was to get out of the confines of your apartment to hopefully give you a moment to breathe and take your mind off things.

You looked around making sure you had everything.

Keys, wallet, water, etc, etc— you put everything in your little backpack. You had no idea what this day might bring so you decided to pack light. After another check around your place making sure you grabbed everything you might want to bring, you put your phone in your pocket and headed for the door.

You pulled it open already trying to somewhat plan a direction you were trying to head to but you didn’t make it far. Instead you stood there in the door frame completely frozen in place, staring out in front of you with wide eyes.

“Hello!” An enthusiastic voice said to you.

You nearly fell over and screamed but of course he was quicker and held you up so you wouldn’t just crumble into pieces.

“Woah, you ok?” Jimin asked, genuinely concerned seeing he had to hold your waist to keep you from collapsing.

Your heart was beating so fast you swore you were moments away from a heart attack. You felt stuck as you stared up at his honey brown eyes peering into yours.

The dots finally connected and you realized this was Jimin who was waiting in front of your door and who had to hold you up.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I thought it’d be a cute surprise… I’m sorry.” Jimin tried to laugh but he really did feel bad, he didn’t know he’d scare you that bad.

Realizing also you were moments away from hitting the floor, you reached your hands out to wrap around his neck so he could pull you up. Jimin got the picture but in the moment you didn’t realize it would have you close— or as close as you’ve been since you found out Jimin was real.

You just stared into each other’s eyes as he helped you back up to your feet and even then the moment didn’t end as Jimin didn’t immediately take your hands off your waist. The moment reminded you of how things were when you were still in your head, before things got complicated.

And despite everything there was this part of you that wished he’d just kiss you again. You missed him and you wanted him to fix this mess he’d caused in your head.

But suddenly he let go and backed a noticeable distance away from you. You wanted him back before he even let go.

“Uh— I’m sorry— I really didn’t mean to scare you.” Jimin stammered out.

This reminded you of your second date, the first one he picked you up and flew you to that paradise in the clouds, how you were so sure he was going to kiss you, but for some reason you never understood why he backed away.

“Um—“ You quickly had to shake yourself awake. “I just didn’t expect you, or anyone behind my door.” You finally laughed, it was a little funny after all.

At this Jimin smiled. 

Now that you recollected yourself you finally were able to process that Jimin was in front of you. He looked a little different than the last time you saw each other. Gone were his white, silky clothes. Instead he almost looked no different to anyone else— well, that was a lie, he was still better than everyone else.

He was wearing black pants, and this sandy colored sweater that had holes all over it, with this small cross bag he had over his shoulder, and black sandals. His hair that was practically the same color as his sweater was styled nicely and had these cute curls that just made him look adorable. You also barely registered he had a black bucket hat in hand you wondered if he was going to put on later.

You brain didn’t even really process the sweater and the fact he wasn’t wearing anything underneath until you realized you could see more of his tattoos. 

You knew he had some across his arms but you haven’t really seen him without a shirt to know he had more underneath, a plethora it seemed. You couldn’t help but wonder if there were more you had yet to discover…

Hot… of course he just had to show up looking so hot. He always did but something about him looking so casual yet so perfect made you want to climb him like a tree.

Oh you need to calm yourself.

Suddenly you saw Jimin look down and then his hands came up to cover his chest. There was this weird smile on his face. 

“Your mind…” He cheesed, but he was blushing and of course you forgot who you were dealing with— the man who can read your thoughts.

“I can change if it’s too distracting, I just wanted to look nice for you but—“ Jimin mumbled looking down and he was realizing how see through his sweater was. Maybe if he hadn’t sinned so much the markings across his body wouldn’t be so dark and would blend like they should into his skin, but they haven’t been that way since he got back from his last mission.

“No it’s nice, you look nice.” You were simple and some eye candy is just what you needed after the weekend.

Jimin knew this and again that devious, mischievous smile was back and you couldn’t help but laugh knowing you probably fell right into his trap.

“If you don’t mind me asking though, what are you so dressed so nicely for?” You asked doing another once over because gosh than man was beautiful.

Jimin giggled at that. “For you of course, you were going out so I thought I’d come with you.”

Like a date?

“If you want to look at it that way, then yes, it’s a date.” Another trap you fell into by bringing it up first.

Immediately you looked down at your more than plain outfit you had planned not really to be perceived in. White t-shirt and jean shorts… If you went out with Jimin like this… oh this wouldn’t do.

Considering how complicated things were between you two maybe you shouldn’t have cared as much or even you could have told him that you needed space and walked right past him, but you wanted to look good for him.

“Can— can you give me like 15 minutes to get changed then.” You looked up at him and pleaded.

Before he could answer you slammed the door in his face and ran to your closet. After seeing his sweater you had the perfect dress in mind. It was a no sleeve, tight, black dress that sat just above the knee, it was covered in holes just like his sweater, maybe even more so, but it had this slip that was underneath that went down to your thigh.

It gave you a chance to show off your own tattoos, though there weren’t many you still thought it was nice to compliment his own. 

They were small, colorful flower tattoos across your arms that you got after you broke up with your ex. You had a bit of a crisis and the tattoo shop seemed to be your place for comfort. The staff there were nice and let you rant your troubles away while they worked and even gave you some insightful advice. You even went back a couple of extra times to get more piercings in your ears just to have an excuse to see them again.

They knew what you were doing and the girl who’d done your tattoos finally gave you her number and you both kept in contact and still to this day whenever they have staff outings where they all get food, sometimes they still invite you.

You checked in the mirror and after smoothing out your dress and grabbing a light sweater just in case— you quickly went over to the bathroom to do your makeup up a little more, not too much cause you didn’t have time but just enough you looked nicer than normal. 

You put your hair up as well into a high ponytail to show off the small flower you had behind your ear and switched out your jewelry to be a little more fancy and match more with your outfit. Last touch was switching your tennis shoes for these cute, black sandals you felt confident you could walk in if necessary. Your bag still worked with your outfit so after grabbing your sweater again you rushed back to the door and pulled it open.

You weren’t expecting him to be standing right in front of the door again, like he knew you were coming. You were this close to screaming and falling over again, but a slight jump back was all that managed to happen.

You were shocked, so shocked you didn’t realize the weird look on Jimin’s face as he stared at you. His eyes went up your form before trailing back down. Oh now you’ve seen that look before and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I can change if it’s too distracting, just wanted to look nice for you~” You laughed, throwing his words from earlier back at him. 

Maybe you wouldn’t be laughing if you knew what he was thinking. You looked good, too good and he was far too… unstable to process this correctly. If things were different his swirling thoughts of “wow she looks good, just wait till we get home later” would be acceptable, even more so considering how good you looked right now. There was no later, there could never be a later, and he was struggling so badly to contain himself.

“I was going to say earlier that you looked beautiful beforehand and you didn’t need to change if you didn’t want to, but…” That same cute smile was back.

You were about to say something to one up him but suddenly his hands were on your waist again and he was close. 

Jimin wanted to say something about the fact he was going to make sure today you’d end up choosing him, or the fact you were his, or something along those lines but that didn’t feel or sound right at all. He wanted you to be his but he didn’t want to force it if that’s not what you wanted.

But seeing you like this, he knew he had to try his hardest because he wanted more than anything for this to be the norm, for you to look at him and choose him just like he had you.

Just the thought of you dressing like this to go and impress Jin-Sang made him want to set the world a blaze in a burning, hot, fiery inferno, ruin this world beyond comprehension because nothing at that point would matter. This scalding desire to please you in any way possible consumed him with a vengeful need. He couldn’t live in that reality, no one should, so he had to make sure you chose him doing whatever it takes. Hopefully with this date that would accomplish that with ease.

Hopefully.

“I just— you’re amazing and I want to give you a good day today.” He smiled down at you and you swore you nearly turned to a puddle right then and there.

You grew meek as he gently guided you over to the elevator. You both didn’t say a word to each other as you rode down, but you couldn’t help your excitement for what the day might bring. 

As you both walked outside you finally had to ask the question. “Sooo what did you have planned?” 

Suddenly Jimin stopped in his tracks and you nearly bumped into him. 

“I’m honestly not sure, your thoughts were so jumbled it was hard to figure out what you might be interested in. I was thinking we see where today takes us, have fun while we can, come back later.” Jimin laid it out and that just made you more curious what might happen later.

“I did have one thing planned though.” Jimin said and turned around so he was facing you.

You stared at him wondering what he meant when suddenly he reached his hand out.

“I wanted to make your wish come true.” He smiled at you.

You were about to ask what wish but it hit you just before it could leave your lips. Under the tree, your wish about walking down the street holding hands, being able to introduce him as your boyfriend.

You felt your face heat up at the thought, and despite being a little dazed at the thought, your hand still made its way into his and he quickly pulled you along to begin your journey.

Oh what might this day bring?

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

When you both made it to busier streets part of you feared you would get tons of stares because you were the crazy person holding hands with an imaginary person beside you. People did look and there was this fear deep down that was the reason, but then you started to hear their whispers.

“He’s so freaking handsome.” These two teenage girls wearing school uniforms said a little too loudly as they passed you.

“Do you think he’s an idol?”

“No, I don't recognize him.”

“An actor?”

“I don’t think so.”

“He’s so pretty…” One of them sighed.

“Is that his girlfriend?” Some guy said to his friend.

“They’re holding hands, what do you think?”

“I honestly don’t know who I’m more jealous of…” Another guy said before his friends started laughing at him as he stared at you both.

“They make such a pleasing couple.” This older lady smiled at you two as she walked with her husband and you nearly started crying right there on the spot.

One of your concerns this weekend was that you really had lost your mind and your “encounters” with Jimin were all in your head. But they could see him too, they could see this beautiful person right next to you.

You gripped his hand tight because it really was a bit unreal that Jimin was here with you. You would be more than jealous if you were one of the people passing by.

With that reassurance you had no idea what today might bring you. When you got ready earlier you had no idea this outing was going to be a date, but you couldn’t be more glad that it was as Jimin held your hand tightly as you walked through the streets of Seoul. 

You turned into enjoying the stares, their whispers, you felt proud.

You both didn’t do much at first, instead focusing on spending time with each other out here in the real world. The real world, it was a strange thing to say. Your dreams had oftentimes felt very real, too real at times and now it all made sense… kinda. 

You did a bit of sightseeing, stopping occasionally to take pictures— another shocking discovery, he showed up in them— he was really here. While Jimin pointed out the different landmarks you were more busy observing him.

You paid more attention to the way he ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair, a habit you noticed beforehand but you couldn’t help but be entrapped in the way the perfectly styled strands grew more disorganized as the day went on. You noticed the cute way he laughed at your jokes or silly faces, it was very boyish and suited him well. You noticed tiny freckles you only could see when he pulled you close by mistake, you knew it was a mistake in the way he’d immediately panic whenever your faces somehow grew only inches away. You noticed the way his eyes would smile back at you whenever he’d laugh or smile too hard, which seemed to happen quite often, he was a very smiley person just like in your dreams. 

There were oftentimes moments when you’d completely forget about the weekend or the fact Jimin was an angel, literally, not figuratively though, you would forever consider him an angel after he carried you on his back up a hill when you complained your feet were hurting slightly. 

Sometimes you completely tricked yourself into thinking Jimin was your boyfriend, he was human, and this was just another amazing date that you both were sharing. It was easy to forget at times and you couldn’t help but wonder occasionally if he was doing that on purpose or was this just the way he was?

You both did nothing and everything at the same time, mainly a lot of walking around but Jimin and you did stop once for a late lunch. It was a small family owned restaurant that you pulled Jimin to because he just had to try. You knew the staff there as well as you frequented here whenever you didn’t feel like cooking.

As soon as you walked in the mom who worked here immediately turned to you both with a shocked expression on her face. 

You both took a seat at one of the tables and steadily the whole family started to make their way through the restaurant, not at all subtly eyeing you both. 

You couldn’t help but giggle along with Jimin as you pointed it out. They had also been someone you confided in after your breakup and the mom especially had been trying to set you up with some of the customers who’d pass through in hopes of rekindling your want for a relationship but you affirmed that you were done. 

This was certainly a major shock for you to come here with someone other than Mina, and a guy at that, you know you’d hear about it the next time you came alone. 

The daughter who helped run this place came over to ask what you both wanted— you both decided bibimbap— but afterward she just had to ask that burning question.

“Y/n! Who—“ She eyed Jimin and turned back to you. This was even less subtle than you were expecting. 

You laughed but hurriedly shooed her away because you thought about it for a second and technically right now you both weren’t labeled yet and that would just create this whole awkward situation you didn’t want to be in. 

The meal was nice though, it always was. 

You had ordered quickly but when they brought your food you had a sudden moment of realization wondering if angels eat or not. 

“No we don’t— at least not for the same reasons, but I can still enjoy it.” He smiled at you before picking up his chopsticks. You watched quizzically because you were still curious how it worked. You were shocked… reassured… disappointed? You weren’t sure how you felt as you saw him eat like anyone else, but his face as he took his first bite made you smile.

You got a double thumbs up!

You weren’t sure exactly when you both had left, you had gotten ready and immediately went for the door to really check the time, then Jimin kept you busy, but you both were still out as the sun started to go down. It hadn’t quite yet set, but the summer sun had finally started to cool and the beginning of the pretty colors started to fill the sky. 

It truly had been hours, you knew it had, but it hardly felt like it with him by your side. You honestly never wanted this day to end. 

Your last stop was a bench that overlooked the Han River. Jimin had suddenly pulled you over to sit down and immediately you felt how achey you were from all the walking you were doing today. You wondered if Jimin knew or—

“I did, you seemed like you needed a break— plus the view was great. Perfect to have a talk at.” He suddenly mentioned with a slight smile. At first you had no idea what he was talking about– what talk? But as he took off his sunglasses (you had nearly growled when he put them on– he looked so good) and ran his hands through his hair you started to come back down to reality. 

You had wanted to talk anyway, Jimin had done a great job of distracting you but now it was time to face the massive elephant in the room. 

“I hope today was nice for you.” Jimin said as he stared out to the river. 

“It was– who knew you were so great at dates.” You chuckled as you kicked your feet underneath you. Part of you didn’t want to talk about this, the other half finally wanted to get some answers, both from Jimin and yourself. 

Jimin laughed along and that made you happy.

“I know you have questions and–” He took a deep breath “I thought a lot about it and… I hope you know I prioritize you and your happiness. I really want to be with you but I hate the thought that I scare you in any way. I’ll try and answer as much as I can about myself personally, but I can’t tell you about… you know.” 

You got the picture and you couldn’t agree more. One of the reasons you were having such a nice time was in the fact that Jimin made it easy for you to forget about the fact he is an angel, but alone you still worried how you might feel about him.

Everything needs to be on the table.

Silence passed for a little while as you thought about what you wanted to ask him. 

“How long have we known each other?” Out of all the questions running through your head for some reason that was the one that stood out.

“By technicality I’ve been here since you were watching your clock turn to 2:37am on your 20th birthday– you were crying because adulthood terrified you and how you would do anything just to turn back time.” Jimin smiled at that but you knew he saw your face.

For some reason that gave you chills. You remembered that day, the birthday blues had just slapped you in the face and you had cried while you waited to officially turn twenty. It just dawned on you that now you were truly an adult and those years of your childhood were gone. It was strange and maybe you had too much to drink (courtesy of your roommate at the time) so maybe you were a bit dramatic— 

It was easy to say that now but you were away from your family, off at college in your second year and suddenly it just hit you that you were getting older and there was nothing you could do to turn back time. Then you thought about your dad…

It was also still funny, you had been crying in your bed cuddling a wine bottle as you waited for 2:37– you probably could only hear incoherent mumbling and sobs if you walked in the door. You were lucky your roommate passed out after giving you the wine or you might have given her enough content to haunt you for a lifetime.

Of all days that wouldn’t have been the first one you picked.

“I didn’t think it was funny— imagine my trauma when the first thing I see of the human I’m meant to look after is crying holding a wine bottle thinking about some seriously depressing shit at the start of their birthday.” He cheesed and you lightly pushed him.

“Has it really been that long though since you’ve known me?” You asked seriously. “I mean that’s been 5 years ago at this point.” 

Jimin just nodded.

The next question then. “When did you know?” A very vague question but one instance you were glad he was in your head so you didn’t need to elaborate.

“I don’t know… It just kinda hit me I guess.” 

Part of you thought that that was all you were going to get but this time he had more to say.

“Maybe— I think it could have been before we even met.” He suddenly said and you finally had to turn to him wondering what he met.

“I remember seeing your picture for the first time and—“ He smiled. “You were really pretty, my whole team thought you were, but I never could have predicted the feelings you would give me when I got here.”

Jimin liked to think that if things were different, if you all would meet they’d really like you. He knew they would.

You were busy trying to process that information because what did he just say?!

“I don’t think there was ever a date it started or a moment. As I watched over you I started to realize how much I enjoyed being around you— even though you couldn’t see me just watching you be a person— you made me feel all fluttery inside— I never felt that before. Your laugh, your smile, such meaningless actions but they always made me feel like I could fly around the universe fifteen times.” And he wasn’t exaggerating, your little actions have him enough energy to do the most outrageous tasks. 

Your face was flushed but Jimin continued.

“You don’t understand how long I wanted you to look at me. I was always by your side but your eyes would stare right through me and I just had to watch—“ Jimin felt himself get all tense at the memory.

“I don’t know when it started and I tried to deny it for a while because I was scared— like I told you before I’m not made for this. My human interaction is supposed to be limited until after my human dies— I’m really not supposed to be here. I’ve broken a lot of rules to be with you like this and even now… I’m still scared because the emotions I feel are not natural but I want to keep seeing you— being here with you. I got a taste and now I never want to leave.” Jimin tried his best to control his emotions knowing how strange things can get if he loses it, but he just wanted to cry into your arms if he could.

“I also don’t want to be scared of me— I never ever— you’re my priority— keeping you safe is my job but you mean more to me than you probably could comprehend.” He shakily laughed but for that to have been a thought that ran through your head…

“I’m sorry…” You couldn’t even look at him.

“No it was my fault though— I shouldn’t have reacted like that. You’re human, you're not used to things like this so I understand how it might have been too much.” Jimin apologized.

“Being with me is a huge ask… we couldn’t exactly live a normal life and I’ll struggle sometimes, but I hope to also create days like this more often than not. I want to make you as happy as you make me.” When presented like this Jimin for a second doubted if this was the right thing to do.

The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you in any way and on this path that outcome seemed inevitable. But he wanted you— you were his, he’d figure this out.

“Can you answer this for me then?” You suddenly said.

Jimin sat up straight ready to answer anything you wanted to know, anything to convince you to be with him.

“Why’d you start visiting me in my dreams?” It was a question that made his blood run cold because he knew he would have to tell you about that.

“The simple initial answer was I believed it to be a way to meet you without breaking too many rules— but I know what you’re going to ask if I finish there.” Jimin knew exactly what you were thinking without being in your head.

Why? He never really answered it, at least in the way he knew you wanted.

“To answer that I’m going to need to confess something.”

You looked at him wide eyed wondering what he was about to say.

“Under the tree, that day, that wasn’t the first time we met.” For a second it didn’t even register what he said. “And then on Saturday that wasn’t the first time I met you here on this plane.” Then it just got worse.

What was he talking about?

“The reason all of this started. I probably never would have disobeyed my orders if you hadn’t looked back at me first.” Jimin looked over at you as the words started to settle into your brain.

“Wait… so you’re telling me we met before like this? Here?!” It sounded outrageous as you said it out loud. You surely would have remembered meeting him before, how could you forget meeting an angel?

“You don’t remember. I made you not remember.” Jimin turned back toward the view.

“Why— why would you do that?” You questioned, baffled that he would do that to you. 

“Was it just like what happened with some of our dates?” You hastily followed up with.

It only happened during the first few ones. Jimin was so hellbent in making you like him anytime things would go left he would start things over— he didn’t see the harm in it at first especially because you wouldn’t remember at the end of the day. It took a little time for him to understand what he was essentially doing— forcing you to like him almost.

It went from the simple, preventing you from remembering the traumatizing sight of his punishment to maybe there was a joke you didn’t laugh at and he didn’t want you to think he wasn’t funny so he’d start over. It was an abuse of power, he knew that now. 

“Slightly, but the reasoning was different. I was trying to correct a mistake, but I don’t want to lie to you if we’re going to do this.” Jimin turned back to you.

Your eyes were watery as you stared at him, you didn’t know why but the thought of this whole weekend not being your first encounter— you wanted to know, no, needed to know what happened.

Suddenly you felt a hand on your cheek making you turn toward Jimin.

You stared into his warm eyes as he peered into your own, his eyes were sad yet sympathetic. You felt his thumb gently rub across your cheeks and it was only then did you realize you were crying and he was wiping away your tears. 

“You don’t remember me?” Jimin asked so softly.

“You had just come out of the shower to watch Vincenzo and then you heard a bang. It was me. We spent a whole week together just you and me while I recovered— I was really sick and you helped me through it. I liked you beforehand but when you looked at me when I opened my eyes I just knew I never wanted you to look away. It was exhilarating, a rush, a warmth that I had never known. I didn’t ever want to leave but I had to— we were about to play monopoly, remember? I got told off for the situation because I didn’t report it in the way that I should, I left out some important details. I tried to have things go back to normal but I couldn’t after what happened— I got a taste of what we could have and that was enough. It was why I started seeing you in your dreams, hoping that would be enough but… I guess I’m too greedy.” Jimin never once broke eye contact as he looked into your eyes, the tears never stopped because you were starting to remember.

You remembered the crash, you remembered the shower, you remembered Jimin suddenly appearing in your living room, you remembered being terrified even then but you hid it away because of how sick he was, you remember that week you spent together, you remembered that game of monopoly you were about to play but suddenly you were sick and you thought you were delusional for starting a game by yourself. It came back to you all in a rush as he spoke.

How could you forget this?

“What about now? Do you remember me now?” Jimin asked softly once again, his hand on your cheek so gentle as always.

“Jimin…” You nearly sobbed.

Your eyes scanned over the angel in front of you and it was almost hard to recognize him. This couldn’t be the same angel who was stammering just to ask for a kiss on your cheek, it wasn’t just that either, he just seemed different— thinking about it now he was different than how you met under the tree.

So shy, timid almost— and now…

“You think?” Jimin suddenly questioned, in your head like always. He looked down before back at you.

“Jimin it’s just— wow— it’s really you.” You couldn’t get out your thoughts, you were too focused on trying not to just completely break down here in public.

You honestly couldn’t figure out how to react. Were you angry at him for taking your memories, no, no you couldn’t find it in yourself to feel that knowing he was just operating under orders. Were you upset he kept it from you this long? No, that wasn’t it. Were you happy to see him, to remember the time you shared? Some of the pieces that you couldn’t make sense of started to become clearer. 

You were happy to see him, you were happy he decided to keep visiting you, and you were even happier seeing him in front of you like this now. 

“You really think I’m differe—“ Before Jimin could ask again, suddenly you pulled him into your arms because you just had to hug him at this point.

You knew you surprised him but you heard his cute little giggle before he wrapped his arms around you. You wrapped your arms tighter because you just didn’t want to let him go, you never did, not again not ever.

You knew Jimin must have heard that in the way his grip grew tighter as well.

You buried yourself further into his warmth, enjoying the way he still smelled like the beautiful flowers in the meadow you both used to meet at. You felt safe, protected, and in some weird way loved. 

Jimin went through so much just for the chance to see you again and you couldn’t be more grateful.

“You were worth it and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” He didn’t have one but you got the point. Jimin knew what you were about to think and he didn’t want you to go there. You were worth it and you would always be.

Jimin held onto you tightly but he could feel you shaking slightly.

“Don’t cry…” He pulled you even closer and lifted one of his hands to gently stroke your hair to help calm you down.

“I’m not crying— the— the sun’s just in my eyes…” You sniffled out, but you knew you couldn’t lie to him. 

“It’s ok, cry. It’s good to cry.” Jimin smiled.

And this just made you want to cry harder. You tried to pull yourself together but it took some time because there were just too many emotions swirling around in your head. And then with Jimin softly rubbing your back— oh you were at a breaking point.

The only thing that really helped you start to dry your eyes was the promise you made to yourself to cry about it properly when you got back home. 

At home felt right.

When Jimin noticed your sniffling growing quieter he finally pulled back to look at you. Your watery eyes stared up at him and he cursed quietly to himself.

“I want to kiss you.” He smiled out with pink cheeks as he continued to help dry your cheeks.

You couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“When I look like a mess?” You chuckled as you started to wipe your eyes. Your eyes were now red and even though you didn’t put much makeup on, you could bet it was ruined by now. You certainly looked better before you sat down then now.

Jimin nodded. “I’ve wanted to for days, you have no idea.” His eyes flickered down and you felt your heart skip a beat.

Part of you thought he was just making a joke to get you to smile again, but realizing he was being serious…

Oh.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked again.

You felt your face flush. “We’re in public…”

“And?”

“And? There’s people right behind us—“ You briefly looked over to the sidewalk.

“Annnddd?” He pouted.

Oh he was too cute.

“How about this— one on the cheek right now and then when we make it back home we can do a little more.” Jimin wanted to think you were just referring to a proper kiss, but he was in your mind to know you kept it open ended for a reason.

This is just going to—

Stop. Not now. Just stop.

Jimin smiled before leaning down and fulfilling your request— it was just a quick peck on the cheek but it made you both just want more. His soft lips against your cheek made you tempted to pull him over so he could really kiss you.

This was nice, really really nice. 

Jimin and you both got up and started making your way back to your apartment. Instead of walking the whole way back, you both decided on the easier method of taking the subway.

You cuddled up next to him and as you passed the stops and people boarded and left you could hear more whispers and they all made you smile. 

Hand in hand you walked back to your place which luckily wasn’t too far from the stop, just a few blocks and you were finally back where this whole journey started. 

“Soooo—“ Before you could even finish, suddenly your back was against the door as Jimin pulled you close and kissed you. 

You were shocked for only a second but as his hands came up to gently cup your cheeks you practically melted in his hands. His lips always gave you that electric feeling, it was more than butterflies, it was like a tornado of kittens was all snuggling you in the softest, cutest, fluffiest hug.

It felt like this was exactly where you were meant to be, you knew it, this was right.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and started running your hands through his hair, so soft and just perfect like he is. 

The kiss picked up in intensity, you were trying to be conscious of the fact you still were in public technically but you wanted him and it just got worse the longer you kept going. 

You were almost making out at the way he let your tongue tease and explore before Jimin was back in control and you were just at his mercy. You felt him press you harder into the door as his hand went down and gently stroked at your sides, lightly playing with the netted fabric of your dress.

You wanted him to take you right here against the door, rip off your dress, and have his way with you— the bed felt too far, you were so hot you could feel the wetness growing in your panties and you wanted more than anything for him to come and fix the mess he made.

You quickly pulled away and trailed kisses from his cheek up to his ear. 

“Jimin…” You nearly moaned when you felt his grip on your waist tighten.

Suddenly you felt him dive for your neck, lightly sucking right where you wanted him to.

“You’re— you’re mine, right?” He hurriedly asked.

You pulled him up so you could look him in the eyes. “I always was.” You made sure to say it clearly so he understood. You were and always will be. 

You noticed his eyebrows furrow before he whimpered and buried himself in your shoulder, holding you tight.

“You’re making it impossible for me to leave.” He whined. He didn’t want to leave but he had to at this point.

It took a second for that to register, too busy wondering how you both were going to somehow make it to the bedroom. 

“Leave?” You finally questioned.

“Yeah— uh, yeah— I have work stuff I need to do.” You could feel it. He was shaking.

He wanted to fuck you so bad and he was doing everything in his power to control himself.

“Oh…” You seemed disappointed. You were, it felt like your night together had just begun. You wanted more time.

“I’m sorry…”  He sighed, his voice barely over a whisper.

“It’s alright— we did spend most of the day together. I’m not surprised you have things. I imagine being an angel is a lot of work.” You tried to smile but you didn’t want to say goodbye.

“When will you come back?” You asked as you wrapped your arms around him to pull him into a hug.

“I’ll try and be back tomorrow. It takes a lot of energy to come down here and back though. I can’t promise I’ll be here everyday but I’ll come as often as I can.” You pulled him out of your shoulder to give him a quick peck on his cheek. 

Jimin had to stop himself from taking it all back and getting you inside as soon as possible. He had to control himself.

“I have work tomorrow but we can hang out when I get back.” You mentioned and he nodded in your grasp.

And with that he finally pulled away, all the way this time. You were about to turn around to punch in the code for your door, but Jimin reached past you and easily opened the door. 

At first you were concerned your lock was broken but when you turned to Jimin you noticed his smile.

Ahhh, what having an angel in your life could do~

“Goodnight!” You smiled at him and he waved as you closed the door behind you. 

Jimin looked at and sighed now that he was alone. He really wanted to come with you but that was great in the fact he was able to have some control over himself and not completely fall into temptation (despite how much he wanted to).

It was a step in the right direction in his path to salvation, a life with you where his promise is kept intact. No sin, he will get past this.

But he really did miss you.

He wasn’t lying when he said work stuff but it wasn’t like it was urgent. Jimin had been monitoring still and luckily the sins seemed to be quiet today, not much activity besides this morning before he met you.

It was a good day, and finally, he truly felt like you were his.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jimin surprised you and met you in the morning before work. It wasn’t planned but after all the walking yesterday it was enough to knock you out to the point you didn’t hear your alarm go off five times in a row. 

Jimin was there and he decided to help you up. Him being the angel that he is, Jimin stopped your alarm and gently shook you awake. He was so gentle and it was like the sun itself had shrunk itself to be human sized and this warm glow of sunshine woke you up.

It was just perfect.

He also helped you get ready, fixing your lunch for you and getting your work bag together while you showered and got dressed. In the end, by the time you were heading out the door, it was about the time you normally would leave thanks to Jimin’s help. 

He even decided to ride with you in your car on the way to work because you complained about needing to leave him. In the end you got an extra twenty minutes together while you sat in your car singing along to the songs on your playlist. 

It was a level of domesticity you hadn’t known since you left your ex and even then he didn’t compare in any way to Jimin. At the time you thought your break up was the worst thing in the world but maybe that hurt then was what you needed to endure in order to be by Jimin’s side. 

When you arrived you hurried out but not after giving him a quick kiss on the cheek with the promise of seeing each other later. 

You just expected to head in but coincidently, or maybe not so, you saw Mina waiting outside the building. 

“Hey?” You called out to her, wondering why she was just standing here.

She turned to you and let out a sigh of relief before running over and hugging you. “Ok you’re alright, I can breathe now.” 

It took you a minute to figure out what she was talking about until you remembered what you texted her yesterday.

“I told you I was ok~” You chuckled but hugged her back tightly. 

“You never know, I may watch too much true crime but I just had to make sure.” She mumbled into your shirt. Ahhh, you love this woman so much. What would you do without her?

“So~ What happened this weekend—“ She hurried out as she hastily pulled away. You were about to tell her it was a little hard to explain when you heard quick footsteps approaching.

“Oh good, you’re ok….” You heard a sigh and finally turned to find him.

It was Jin-Sang.

He looked like he just ran a marathon.

“What do you mean?” You questioned.

“Your texts— just wanted to make sure you were ok.” He smiled bashfully.

“You both thought something was up?” You signaled between Jin-Sang and Mina.

“You never know these days— I’ve seen way too much true crime to just—“ Woah. It’s almost like you’ve had this talk before.

“But glad to see you’re ok.” Jin-Sang felt reassured. He’d honestly been very worried about you.

“Y/n was actually just about to explain what happened.” Mina said, looking back at you.

Jin-Sang noticed you hesitated. “That is, only if you’re comfortable.” He added, not wanting to pressure you into a confession.

“It was a pretty crazy weekend but you, especially Jin-Sang, deserve to know.” You looked over at him. He was still thinking there was a next time after all…

They both looked at you intrigued at what you were about to say.

“Part of the reason I hesitated when you asked me out last week, Jin-Sang, was that I wasn’t exactly single.” You paused for a second when you noticed his face change.

“But it was a relationship I thought wouldn’t go anywhere— we had our fun but we couldn’t be together in the way that I wanted. It wasn’t going anywhere and we knew that, it’s why I didn’t say no either. We even talked about it when I got home and we broke up and everything believing that to be the end of our journey and this was our sign to move on.” You were watching Jin-Sang intently even though you were talking to both him and Mina. 

“That day I had been getting ready for our date, I had been on the phone with Mina and had my outfit picked and everything— I was honestly really excited but just a few hours before we were supposed to meet, I got a knock at the door—”

“It was him wasn’t it…” Jin-Sang finished with a sad smile.

You nodded.

You felt bad, you truly did.

“He said the date made him realize how much he wanted our relationship to work so he’s visiting me now, but he plans on moving closer so we can be together. It was the only issue with our relationship and we spent the weekend and Monday just talking to see if this was the best path to go on and…” You smiled at the thought. Some of it was certainly lies but it was close enough to the truth you felt satisfied.

You saw Mina’s mouth drop at your story and Jin-Sang just had this sad yet sweet expression on his face.

“Ahhh I should have known.” He sighed but never once stopped smiling. “You’re so amazing I’m not surprised someone already beat me to it…” 

Oh.

He was really trying to pull at your heartstrings. You felt bad, really really really bad.

You were about to say something when suddenly you thought you heard someone call out your name. You turned wondering where that came from.

“Y/n!” You heard it again a little more clearly this time and now you could see where it was coming from. There he was, the angel that had been your entire weekend.

It was Jimin and he was jogging over to where you all were standing, holding something in his hand. 

He’d somehow changed from the time you left him in the car. 

He’d switched to an entire black ensemble, it was simple yet so effective. A black short sleeve shirt tucked into black pants with a fancy belt wrapped around his waist. He’d thrown on a black beanie and had these sexy black sunglasses on and the closer he got you could see the pretty silver jewelry he added— a necklace, bracelets of both arms, rings, and his fancy cross earrings decorating his ears. 

The tattoos on his arms were on full display. And this close with his arms exposed you could make out what they were slightly. You were only able to make out one to clear enough detail— it read ‘WRATH’ in dark, inky black letters...?

Interesting.

It was like you were watching him run in slow motion over to you, maybe you lost it, but it was like something out of a drama at how gorgeous he looked. 

You were tempted to start barking right here because aro? Alpha?

You were surprised you didn’t start drooling and you were too entranced to realize he was holding your water bottle.

As he came closer you started to notice the stares of your coworkers and whisper more good things because look at him. How could they not?

“Jimin?” You finally questioned. 

He smiled at you when he stopped by your side. “Hey beautiful.” He pulled you close and gently kissed your forehead.

Oh.

“You forgot your water in the car and came to bring it to you.” You finally noticed it in his hands and you were about to look in your bag confused, because you were so sure you put it in there, but maybe not if he had it.

You took it from his hands and put it in your bag.

“Must have missed this somehow… Thank you~” You smiled at him.

“Ahem…” It was Mina and that was when you realized they were still standing behind you. 

You turned back around and their faces, especially Mina’s, were oddly amusing. You felt proud. 

“Guys this is Jimin, my…?” In a second you realized you never discussed the specifics of the labels or your relationship.

Jimin seemed to pick up on this.

“I’m her boyfriend, nice to meet you both.” Jimin flashed you one of those enchanting smiles before turning back to Mina and Jin-Sang. 

Oh— yep, yep oh boy.

You tried to pull yourself together.

“Uh— this is Mina.” You motioned toward your friend. 

Jimin smiled before bowing. “Y/n talked about you a lot, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

She shyly laughed before bowing back. 

You turned to Jin-Sang and you realized this was a bit awkward considering the talk you just were having. “And this is Jin-Sang.”

There was a second where they made eye contact. Jimin was slightly shorter than Jin-Sang was, only a few centimeters at most, but it was enough where he had to slightly look up at him. 

You had no idea what you were watching and for a second you were worried someone, someone would say something that would cause this whole big thing. You were reassured when Jimin gave him a smile and bowed too, it was slightly less than what he did with Mina, not by much, but you noticed.

“Nice to meet you.” 

Jin-Sang bowed back. “Likewise.”

Crisis averted it seems.

Jimin looked back at you before taking off his beanie, revealing his sandy blonde hair once again and started running his hand through it. You could have moaned, oh what was this man doing to you? 

At the workplace at that!

Just wait till you get home later…

“Alright, I’ll see you at home.” He smiled at you before putting his beanie back on. 

“See you then~” You cheesed before he started walking away. For a second you wondered how he planned on getting back, but you remembered this was an angel you were dealing with.

You turned back to the two who were standing behind you. 

“I’m sorry guys—“

“No need to apologize. You seem happy and that’s all I care about. Wish the best for you two.” He tried to smile but you could see the sadness in his eyes.

Jin-Sang said a speedy goodbye before heading into the building. 

You still felt bad, maybe even worse though but you were happy he understood. You feared telling him all morning, but he really seemed sweet. 

With Jin-Sang gone, that left you and Mina.

“Y/n you’re gonna have to tell me everything and I mean everything.” She said quietly as she guided you both inside. 

“Like what?”

“Everything, like does he drive a motorcycle?” 

“Huh?”

“He looked like he would— my gosh, he is so hot, how could you never tell me about him?! And was it me or was he literally glowing?!— Where did you find him? On the set of some drama or something? I need the details!”

The lunch was amazing by the way, as expected of your angel.

previous chapter « main masterlist ✩ series masterlist » 2024!

[amuhav]

1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 10, 17, 20 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), 23, 25 for T A Y U I N.

What memory would your OC rather just forget?

All of his time back in Abor'sai? lmao. I mean, sadly he's already forgotten anything good about his childhood, so he's left with mostly just the negative experiences that came after. Though, maybe surprisingly, I would say any of the more positive experiences with his father would be top of the list, because they're one of the few things that make him regret leaving without a word. And makes it harder for him to just put the whole place and everyone behind him.

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

How damaged he is under the layers of self-preservation. And how desperate he is to be understood and accepted, despite his pathological self-sabotaging to stop that from happening.

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Lack of faith in other people, and by extension never letting himself have any peace or happiness, too willing to believe it will only lead to more harm. By never trusting anyone or sabotaging anything good that happens to him, it becomes something of a self-fulfilling prophecy that feeds further into his worldview that everything will hurt him if given the chance. I think he's become more aware of that, but until recently, no, he didn't see it as a flaw of his. He just saw it as protecting himself from the inevitable.

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

Pretty far. Tay tends to put his survival and his immediate wants and needs ahead of anything else. He doesn't usually hurt people just for the sake of it, only if he thinks he'll gain something or he considers them to have wronged him, believes they eventually will, or if he sees them as a threat in any way. But he's generally the type to do so in indirect ways; manipulation, lying, maybe a lil theft etc. I guess I'm not saying he wouldn't take a life, if he really felt he had to, but what I am saying is he certainly would try not to. Physical harm or confrontation is certainly not a go-to unless he hasn't much choice.

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Uhhhhhh. His moral compass is kinda skewed towards Chaotic Neutral anyway lol. I don't think you'd easily convince him to do anything truly heinous if he had no reason to. On the other side of the spectrum, you'd probably also struggle to convince him to do anything too good that didn't also benefit him in some way, not unless he truly felt some obligation to do so, or ultimately agreed with the premise under all that outward bluster. In which case, you'd still have to be pretty convincing to overcome that self-preservation instinct of his, especially if whatever it was would make him vulnerable. For example, a lot of the time he'll be more likely to double down rather than take ownership of a mistake, because that would be a sign of weakness oh shit I'm realising he inherited this particular trait from his mother ignore me goodbye.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Uh, once I actually had a grasp of his characterisation? Honestly, not much at all lol. I meeeean, there are definitely some points in CotS where I wouldn't have necessarily gone where the ~votes~ did, yet I still think the ways they played out, and all his actions within CotS have remained in character (which is honestly impressive when you think about it like that LMAO). But overall he's one of those characters as a writer you just... kinda instantly know them? Like, you connect with them in a way where you just know how they think and feel in almost any given situation without even ever having to give it much thought. Which I feel is pretty rare for me at least lmao.

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

not to sound basic bitch, but I guess Modern Day? I can't really see him in any other genre than that or the Fantasy one he's already in. But maybe... if we're talking more parallel universe AU rather than full genre/setting swap AU... one where he never left home? Because while I will always believe leaving was the best option for him, I don't know if things would have necessarily gone as badly as he thought they were heading...

What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

everything um. leading on from the last question I guess ahaha... The bit that hasn't happened yet in the story. And again, not the leaving itself. I think leaving is the best thing he ever did for himself. But I feel ~a little guilty~ for the misunderstandings that lead up to it at least the way I have it planned because I haven't finished writing it yet so that might change I guess lolololol. That, or having him forget just why Ailos seems to hate him so much. Because it informs so much, not just of their relationship but so much of who they both are and how each of their lives came to be the way they are, but to Tay it all just seems so entirely without rhyme or reason. It's like an elephant in the room between them, but one Tay can't overcome because he doesn't even know it's there, and Ailos can't see past it nor work around it, and Tay not even knowing it exists only makes him all the more bitter. (which, like, not to excuse anything lmao, just. ya know. something something hurt people hurt people something something.)

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

lmaoooooooo. Tay? noooooo. never. jealousy? what's that, even? asdfghklkshhhh. I don't know if he necessarily ever recognises feelings of jealousy for what they are, at least not immediately without time to actually think about it, but yeeeeeah. It is definitely not an unusual response lmao. Jealous lil bean lashes out, usually at whatever he most considers to be the root cause of his pain (I'm so sorry Eve I woulda dragged my boi to apologise right away I stg 😭) And speaking of, manifesting as a rather strong sense of possessiveness lmao.

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Happiness. He doesn't trust it. Like, real happiness, not just momentary glee at getting whatever he wants/needs in a particular moment or a plan working out for him, but true, actual-to-goodness happiness and feelings of contentment. It feels like a trap waiting to spring. So he fights it.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

Despite all his flaws, his ability to overcome. He's so broken, and he deals with a lot of things so poorly, but he's still trying. Still surviving, still trying to find a place in the world when I think so many would have just given up and accepted defeat. And that deep down, even if he doesn't indulge in it or trust it, he still has a heart, and hasn't lost all his humanity (or the fae equivalent? lmao) along the way.

[quietwingsinthesky]

In your opinion, is it worth watching Supernatural if you missed the superwholock craze and your only exposure has been meta posts

my darling anon, i’m a supernatural fan, i’m going to say yes. BUT. with caveats. one; depends on the meta you’ve been exposed to, because if you’ve been told by tumblr gifs it’ll be an epic love story between that dude and his angel, i’m so sorry to disappoint you but that’s not what the show is about. but if the meta you’ve gotten is about the actual themes of the show, go right ahead.

(to be clear, like, there’s still stuff to dig into for destiel. i just wouldn’t want you to go in expecting a romcom in a horror story.)

CAVEAT TWO: you gotta understand that supernatural is really like 5 or 6 shows in a trenchcoat building on top of one another. like s1-3 are pretty solidly their own show, cut down early by the writer’s strike and even delineated nicely by being filmed on. film. rather than digitally. s4-5 are their own thing. s1-5 are their own complete arc, and honestly, you can just watch that and have a pretty good time with some genuinely fantastically put together television. and then after that s6 is kinda its own thing, 7-8 too, 9-11, and then 12-15 i just lump together as Bad but im sure someone else would actually classify them by arc or whatever.

okay god we’re putting a cut now im not gonna shut up im sorry

i think more people should watch s1-5 of supernatural. it’s silly, it’s scary, it’s full of fucked up shit and things that will mess you up for life (affectionate). and then i say watch the rest until you don’t enjoy it and then drop it. don’t feel obligated to watch all 15 cause it loses the plot Fast and it also. gets bad. like if you want my rec, i say stick it out till s11 and then if you can stand it, s12 for [SPOILER] coming back to life. but i would never in my life tell anyone to watch s13-15 unless they had literally nothing left to do and a gun to their head. i watched it but im not a good role model.

uhhh what else should you know. oh, yeah, there’s a lot of references to non-con/rape in it, some of them the show takes seriously and some it’ll play for laughs with some 2010s era misogyny. there’s also a lot of moments that, depending on how charitable you feel like being, are either poorly thought out or straight out racist or homophobic. the show does very little to address its misogyny, homophobia, or racism until it gets put down like a dog behind a shed. i’m telling you this to prepare you for it, because i think engaging with the show is still worth something, especially if you take the time to entangle those elements and examine how the writers have used them to justify a world in which two white guys roll into town, kill a scary monster with extrajudicial justice to save the suburban families, and leave.

and then, of course, if u watch it you can also come yell at me about it :3

uhm. but seriously. supernatural is a complicated show. but it’s worth watching. there’s a lot of good in there with the bad. the way it approaches angels and heaven in the early seasons especially is so fucking fascinating, so if you like religious stuff at all, i’d say go in for it. the acting can be. well. the main guys range from ‘holy shit this is stressing me out to watch it’s so good’ to ‘okay’ to ‘jesus fucking christ please get the camera off of him.’ (and if you watch the show, i’ll let you guess which is which lmao.) but a lot of the people who come in to play side characters kill it in their roles. shout out to jdm. there for like 3 episodes purely to fuck me up forever. lifechanging performance, i’m so serious.

tldr: supernatural is genuinely a good show, for a while, and when it ain’t, it’s still fun, and when it stops being that, just put the show down. just keep your expectations in check regarding what the show is telling you it’s about and don’t expect it to be more. (like. feel free to fantasize about what if it Was more, i sure do, but don’t let that cloud your vision on what the show, as it stands, really is about and is trying to say.) and be prepared for the messy shit it’ll hit you with along the way.

and the fandom is pretty neat too, so long as you use the block button liberally <3

[sehodreamsthoughts]

omg i have so many things to say plsss!!!

okay 1) is that i’m obsessing over shohei a little bit rn i need him to debut so bad also i looked up his profile again and this doesn’t make sense but it says he’s 5’9” why tf is he so small?? he doesn’t look that small😭😭😭😭😭

2) is omg ur post about the gym bro who came in like 2 min… why is it always like that with guys like that…🤭🤭 ur so funny for laughing at him LOLL

3) okok ur so right its definitely heeseung and jake with heeseung on the phone as u said that’s crazy!!!

heeseung would threaten you over the phone, saying “don’t you dare cum for him, or i swear, you’ll never get to feel my cock again”, and if jake can hear him, he’d scoff and laugh, snapping his hips into yours harder, forcing moans out of you and the phone drops from your hand onto the mattress next to you. jake leans over and grabs it, using one arm to balance himself, still fucking into you while he finds the speakerphone button with his thumb. “please, jake, no, don’t” you cry, but he slaps your hand away from him, when you reach again, he grabs your throat. “shut up,” he spits at you, finally getting the phone to the right setting, hearing heeseung’s soft pants echo. “she doesn’t need you,” jake snaps, tossing the phone down on the bed again next to the two of you, to the right of your joined hips. he pins your wrists down, and leans back, slowing down his movements until he’s completely stopped. you whine, wriggling underneath him. “go ahead,” he chuckles, “fuck yourself on my cock, sweetheart, unless you’re too scared for heeseung to know how much of a slut you are for me?” you arch your back, trying to move your hips upward towards his, managing to slide your pussy down his cock a few times, the sound of your slick suctioning around his length making you flush red. “fuck, you sound so wet, baby, is all that for me?” heeseung moans through the phone, and jake laughs again, “why the fuck would it be for you, asshole? come on, doll, do you wanna cum or not?” you’d keep trying to move your hips, trying not to go too fast to keep from making too much noise but you also want to come so badly. crying and whining, beginning to babble and beg for jake to help you and heeseung hisses into the phone that he swears if you cum, he will be over there faster than you can imagine to punish you. that just spurs you on more though, struggling and panting but jake can’t hold back anymore either and wants to prove to heeseung he fucks you better. “making her do all the work? you’re the worst” heeseung drawls, and jake grabs the phone and holds it right onto your face so all of your screams blare right into the microphone. you cum, hard, and jake cums inside you soon after, clenching around him and milking his cock dry and you don’t hold back any noises, barely hearing heeseung cum with you on the other side of the phone.

sorry im insane i need them so bad🤕

- 🥟 anon

1) Omg baby I also saw something about it but I think it was wrong because I remember seeing him being taller than Eunseok so I find it really hard to be true 😭 and omg I just miss him so much, I'm sure you've seen now why I love him, he has this amazing aura and god that gorgeous face????? I can't let him go, I refuse to let him go, I want to see him debut and support him so bad 😭

2) I have no idea 😂😭, I've heard some of my friends say they're great too, and the guy wasn't a bad BAD one (at least he apologized in the end) but honestly it was such a bad sex experience, his body was hot af I have to admit it, but I guess he was too much into how his body looked and took that steroid shit that fucks them all 😭, he never admitted it of course and my friend (well she wasn't my friend she was my ex) that presented him to me never asked out of embarrassment but it was just... Bad 😭. To be honest I fucked him because I was curious of how someone so fit would do it so it's not like I am a saint either, I never saw me having anything else with him the second I bought some cigarettes with a beer and he side eyed me, oh and let's not talk about the awkward dinner we had when he didn't eat at all because he had "completed his macros" and stared at me for 40 minutes while I ate what he ordered for me ☠️

Maybe I should've gone slower with him too, and shouldn't have laughed, idk, those 2 minutes were hot af at least... BUT NOW THAT I REMEMBER IT AGAIN I'M ANGRY BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET TO CUM AND HE DIDN'T OFFER IT EITHER???, IDK, HE COULD HAVE OFFERED HIS HAND OR SOMETHING? LIKE I JUST MADE YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT LEAST RECIPROCATE????? 👹👹👹

3) my god that just completely calmed me down IT'S PERFECT WITH THEIR NAMES 😭🩷🩷🩷, OMG AND THAT PART "you arch your back, trying to move your hips up towards his, managing to slide your pussy down his cock a few times, the sound of your slick suctioning around his length making you flush red", and god that little fight of those two while you fuck yourself on his cock, AND HEESUNG CUMMING WITH YOU AND JAKE, I LOVE YOU US EXACTLY THE SLOPPY SMUT I NEEDED RIGHT NOW 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

To the Shadows that Cry Witch /// Chapter 3

Hello! Sorry it’s a bit late, I’ve been settling in the cottage I’m in on holiday. I can't wait for to post this part, since it's now finally starting to kick off! For those who have asked to be in the Taglist, just know you're on the guest list for my funeral, cuz you guys are the ones giving me motivation. <3333333

Summary: Magic was real, but it came at a price. So when two girls from England ended up in the one place they never thought they could reach, strange things began to happen. Good or bad? That's up to them to find out.

Tags: Kíli x oc/reader - Fíli x oc (POV to be written soon) - Thorin's company x ocs/reader (platonic) - fluff - angst - SUPER slow burn - crack - Bagginshield

Word Count: 1017 (Slightly shorter this time)

Warnings: Blood, Minor Injuries, Kate's having a slight panic attack but doesn't realise it lol

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

PLEASE START FROM THE PROLOGUE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OK LOVE U

Want some background music? Check out my Soundtrack Playlist!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

< Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 >

PART 1: Chapter 3 -

Error: Friend not found.

Throughout time, it was believed that bridges were gateways to other realms and dimensions, and this is what some people believed supernatural creatures such as ghosts used to cross into the world of the living.

Now would be a good time to be anyone but me.

 Chills swept up my spine and down my limbs as I felt frozen in place at the sight before me. Mind clouded with anxiety and confusion, I racked my brain to see if I could come to even a singular conclusion to why Kay had evaporated into thin air.

Breaking through my fuzzed up thoughts, I went with my first idea. Sprinting to where I had last seen her leaning on the other side of the bridge, I practically threw the top half of my body over the edge.

My wide eyes glared into the depths below, scanning intently for any sign that she had fallen in. A circle of ripples, bubbles, anything! But to my bewilderment, nothing revealed any indication that she had landed in the water. Well, now that I come to think of it, if she had fallen, there would’ve been at least some noise. Whether it was a splash, or her screaming as she fell.

I breathed a small sigh in relief as I semi-ruled out the possibility. But the unease swept back like a wave, as I remembered that I was currently alone, in the middle of the woods, with nothing but a thin waterproof coat to keep me warm.

—————————-

The next couple minutes was spent retracing my steps as I returned to the clearing, the whole time I called Kay’s name, straining my ears through the noise of the birds and trees for any sort of reply.

I eventually returned to the bridge, with the intent of returning to the car park to see if Kay had ended up there, and worst case scenario, report her missing.

I switched on my phone’s torch, in order to navigate my way back in the now dying light, whilst nothing but panic pumped at high speed through my veins, my head still clogged with questions about what happened.

Tears pricked at my eyes at the thought of my missing friend and being alone in the middle of nowhere. Nothing like this should happen unless it was a horror movie! What caused her to disappear? How did she vanish so quickly and quietly? I wiped at my glassy eyes, black mascara now smudged on my hand and probably my face. I pushed on and started my way over the bridge.

It was now dark, with only my phone bearing a sphere of light to illuminate what was in front of me. I lifted my head to look ahead, only to stagger to a stop, shock crashing over me for the second time this evening - only this time it was impossible to try and come up with an explanation.

It seemed to shimmer and glitter in the light of my torch, and all I could do for a moment was peer at it with nothing but bafflement as I tried to wrap my head around what I was witnessing. A shaky breath rattled through my lungs as I shuffled a tantalising foot forwards. Call me dumb, but crossing this bridge was my only way back, and this thing completely blocked the path.

It looked like a wall of some sort – transparent – as I could just make out the other side, but it swirled and morphed between white and grey, as if someone had taken the world’s biggest liquid veil and defied gravity by hanging it up in the middle of nowhere. Scanning it whilst moving my phone about, I theorised that this could most likely be behind Kay’s bizarre disappearance.

I slowly lowered myself to the ground, patting my hand about on the wooden floor for a stick I had spotted earlier whilst keeping a firm eye on the veil. I soon felt the knobbly bark and wrapped my hand around it before gradually straightening back up. I held it up in front of me, as both defence and a prodder and inched it forward with my shaking hand until it was no more than a half inch away.

Gently swaying the thin branch from side to side, I cautiously edged it closer each time, making the crazy decision to see if I could swirl what I guessed was liquid within this mysterious wall. That was, until the stick finally came in contact.

I let out a sharp cry of alarm as the stick was torn out of my hand and with a flash, it was gone. I let out a hiss, grimacing as I felt a harsh burning and opened my hand, only to see gashes where the branch had torn at my skin as the veil sucked it in at the speed of light. Clenching my jaw and taking deep breaths through my nose, I tried to put pressure on the wounds in an attempt to stop the blood that was now oozing out and running down my arm.

But what was most important, is that I now had a clear idea of what happened to Kay.

With newfound determination, I strode up to the veil, eager to find my friend. Coming face to face, it was only when I went to step forward, did I hesitate.

What if something bad happens as soon as I stepped through? I didn’t want both of us to go missing without a trace. What would become of our family, and other friends? I didn’t want to put that type of trauma on them! However, it would be worse if I returned alone, I don’t think Kay’s mum would ever forgive me for losing her daughter.

Coming to a final decision, I faced back towards the wall, trying my best to keep myself from faltering.

“I swear down if I don’t come back from this they better put me on Buzzfeed Unsolved.” I muttered to myself.

Reaching out again with my bleeding hand, I decided there was no turning back now, and with a deep breath, I touched the wall.

With a ferocious jolt, my feet were swept from underneath me, and before I could let out even a scream, I was thrusted forward into darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

< Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 >

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Can't wait to see you on the 7th April for Chapter 4! Also please comment if you want to be added to the Taglist <3

Taglist:

@opheliasdrowningg @mrsdurin @g1gglef1t @qmabailor @jupiterrdarling

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[questionablepastries]

Armored core 6 spoiler posting ! This time for the ng+ run and the ending I did, and my thoughts on ng3 thus far:

This time the ending I got for my second run was “the fires of raven”

Pretty hardcore name for recreating the apocalypse and simply leaving the planet, but I get why Walter and Carla wanted it done. They’re the kind of people where the ends justifies the means. Eliminating all life on this planet, for the sake of containing and destroying an organic energy fuel substance that was on its way of leaking out to the space, spreading to other planets, more corporate wars fought for this fuel, and in the end leading to more fires of ibis situations on other planets

Or would it?

The game intentionally never (or at least hasn’t) explained WHY the first fires of ibis happened, and I’m just gonna go ahead and guess allmind is behind this, the group that’s been the most IN GAME but with the least story impact, and my second guess is the group that the original raven is from, killed that lil bitch twice don’t show your face around me again unless u wanna talk >:|

I doubt it’s ravens group tho. A mission I did on the side made it sound like the original raven leaked the information about coral LEADING to the corporations even knowing about rubricon. And it’s giving government leak/Edward Snowden vibes which to ME is a good guy position, now ALLMIND…..

They got some scary descriptions for the allmind arena. Yeah, AllMind exists for mercenaries (aka me) but.. the descriptions include stuff talking about fusing mech with the human mind to make some sort of link, make the body of the mech feel like the body of the pilot? Weird stuff, Also the allmind lady called me a “humanoid”, what’s that about???? Rusty seems to know my true identity since the second he met me (Walter suggests this), and Ayre suggests we’ve met before? So I’m thinking 621 was involved in the fires of ibis situation somehowwww

Then there’s all the hidden notes about these 2 scientists? And their sons that pick up that their scientist dads are losing their minds? There’s a lot im not piecing together at the moment, but there’s a lot of things that haven’t been explained fully, not that they need to, but I can feel an “aha” moment coming. I’m taking a break from the game tho I speed ran the game to get the second ending over with for this upcoming ng+ 3 run that I started (😭 I’m tired)

Back to the ending tho

SO GLAD I GOT TO KILL AYRE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ayre fans im only slightly sorry

She was SOOOOO annoying the whole run. I’m so bugged by her doting girlfriend, yelling at me to survive WHILE all I’m doing IS surviving, her character is shoved on you, she hardly has offers any insight into coral other than coral is alive (you call them your brothers and sisters but can you get the mechs powered by coral to stop killing me????), ayre get a life!!! I hate mascot characters and I hate bitches (whiny girls) SHOVED ON YOU in any game, sorry!!! And u know what? she did actually get a life, I was so happy she fucked off, got in a robot herself, and started doing shit for herself even if it meant the first thing she did upon gaining autonomy was going in to kill me. Go girl!!!!! now what hurt was putting down rusty, but I killed him too fast, so fast that my monkey brain outsped the sad feeling I was supposed to associate with doing that, and I was glad they gave him two health bars.. because the first one I kinda mowed down and I felt semi bad about it and then when he got back up I (in full video game enjoying mode) went all chuuni and yelled “I LIKE THAT AMBITION OF YOURS RUSTY” and Then mowed him down again. So now I’ve gotta go to YouTube bc I didn’t save the fight to fully process what Rusty was yelling at me because when I’m under high stress I don’t hear anymore I just get the job done 😫

Gotta take a break tho, ng3 gave me a mission that wasn’t in my first 2 runs of the game and in that mission they shoved in those wheel skeletons from ds1 on me (😡😡😡) and THAT was the hardest mission I’d had in a while, so much so that it drained me of wanting to play after that (that and I had been doing nothing but play the game for the past 2 maybe 3 days) 💤

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hi, may I ask for a matchup? Thank u in advance and don't overwork yourself.

Fandom(s) don't matter, I know most of them so please match me with whoever you see fitting (maybe preferred fandoms are mha and demon slayer but only because I'm rewatching them).

I'm Varya (Varvara), almost 19 y.o., a cisgender straight Russian she/her Capricorn (although I don't believe in astrology). 39 kg/157 cm, I'm anorexic bc of body problems. Luckily, it's not visible since I have some curves. People say I have some Turkish blood in me judging from my appearance. Short straight hair with bangs and black eyes.

Personality-wise, I'm a toxic bitch. Manipulative, I know my worth, and I want to be better than anyone (sometimes this saddens me bc whatever I start doing, is mastered in no time and people around me get depressed. it just... happens ig, I'm a bunch of talent). Most people, if they try to get to know me, think I'm adorable and charming, strangers see me as an Ice Queen. I have a love-hate psycho relationship with myself. Somehow a gentlewoman, but politeness is only worth for people who deserve it, not only bc they're "older" or things like that.

Tbh, I don't have dreams, hobbies, and likes anymore. Well, even during childhood I've never had those. Maybe u can say that video games (shooters, rpg, strategies) and drawing entertain me the most rn but I feel even those things are slowly fading away.

The thing I dislike is being under control. My mom and ex controlled me so much.

In a nutshell, I think I'm a depressed person with God syndrome, bored around others bc I find them overall stupid. Only police and laziness, aloofness keeps me from becoming a serial killer.

lol

Hi Varya! Thank you for your request! I decided to go with My Hero Academia and Demon Slayer since you're rewatching them. Let me know if you'd like matchups with other fandoms. I hope you like your matchups!

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

Aizawa doesn't really mind that you're manipulative. He's been through his fair share of students that have tried to sway him towards giving them good marks. He's seen every form of manipulation there is.

Does like that you know your worth. I see Aizawa as someone who makes jokes about how useless he is but actually knows his value.

Aizawa won't try to control you. Yes, he'll make suggestions if you're going to do something he thinks is unadvisable. But if you want to go ahead and do it anyway, he won't stop you. Unless you're breaking any major laws. Please don't do that.

Totally gets only being polite to people when they deserve it. He's exactly the same.

He'd be secretly honoured if you show politeness towards him because it means you respect him. But a the same time, he wouldn't respect himself if he was in your shoes so he gets it if you're less polite towards him.

Will keep you from becoming a serial killer. He's basically a super-powered police officer anyway. He doesn't particularly want to arrest you but he'll do it if it's warranted.

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Similarly to Aizawa, Rengoku's someone who won't try to control you. He's all about freedom and letting people do what they want. At the same time, don't hurt any of his friends.

Expect him to display a new hobby to you every week until you show interest in one. He's all for hobbies and he's got a long list to go through.

Won't reproach you too harshly if you do end up killing someone (please don't actually do this). His job is killing demons, things that were once humans, so he feels a bit hypocritical tell you off for doing basically the same thing.

He'll match your politeness level. If you're being rude to him, he's dishing it back. If you're being more polite, he's being polite. Most of the time, he tries to stay in your good books.

Another one who appreciates that you know your worth. He's seen a lot of demon slayers that question themselves and it's lead to their death. If you don't doubt yourself, he knows you'll be fine.

[orbees]

I came across your post about the be gay do crime and addiction ect. I was wondering what your thoughts were on someone stepping in to help because of a health concern. I myself am gay and do in fact do the smoking crimes (weed) and I let friends do what they want most of the time unless there is a concern about their health and safety.

hey there so I'm going thru my inbox rn and saw this which I think u sent like... months ago but. Hi im here to toss my two cents now

So def don't take this like. As an authorative Answer like I'm just a fucking guy but my first thoughts are: well. It depends. Which I know isn't rly helpful but addiction is Complicated, a lot more so than ppl give credit for

It depends on ur relationship to the person, the substance in question, and what exactly you mean by "help" and "stepping in"

Cause on the surface expressing concern for a loved one isn't a bad thing but. A lot of the Common Ways ppl try to address their loved ones' addictions can do more harm than good. Like being combative / judgemental / confrontational is just gonna make ur loved one shut down / get defensive.

That isn't to say don't express ur concerns cause sometimes an outside voice is needed and can help but just be careful. Kindness and support is key. Like I can't stress how important support is to recovery. The biggest thing you can do is just stay by their side

I think too at the end of the day like... u also have to recognize that ppl will make their own choices and you can't Force someone to quit. They may not be ready, they may not want to, or truthfully in some cases sobriety may not even be the best thing for them. If they choose to keep using, or try to stop and relapse, it is so important to be non-judgmental. I'm not saying to Enable it or whatever. I'm just saying to be Kind and Understanding. Becsuse most people are not and trying to quit something is the among the hardest things a person can do.

Part of why I said "it depends" too is that it can be hard to recommend harm reduction strats without rly knowing the situation. But in some cases harm reduction is the best thing you can do. For instance, consider looking into narcan training, it can save lives

I think this is about all I can rly give u just kind of a general overview... also not @ u anon like I didn't mind answering this but generally speaking pls don't take this as an invitation to send me 29293 asks about what you should do for [x] loved one addicted to [x] drug cause again: I'm just some fucking guy but. I thought I'd go ahead and answer this one. That's all

[blogblogbloggittyblog]

october 1- 31, 2023

i don’t think i even like this man. like he truly sucks in every possible way and he makes me feel like shit all the time except when we’re having sex and then it’s alright. but he doesn’t pay attention to me he’s never nice to me he never responds and his lifestyle is shitty. he’s not quitting smoking that’s for sure and he won’t stop drinking like every day and maybe that’s just being a 23 year old but like fuck. he doesn’t seem to like me much either. like clearly. so idk. this is somehow even more degrading that koroosh because at least him there were no expectations i knew he sucked. this sucks -----

i wish i was in love. like actually in love and with someone who was kind and loving and cared abt me -----

i feel like there’s smth wrong w him? or maybe it’s w me? idk maybe we just have different expectations or desires or smth. i wanna kms like why can’t i just be happy and normal and not violently obsessive and intense and irrational and impulsive and overkill -----

i just left his house. we were gonna meet in the AM but he didn’t wake up until like 1:30pm because he was at an event till 2am. doing ecstasy and getting very drunk. nothing redeeming about that. and he had ghosted me for like two days before and he said it’s cuz he wanted to ask me out but was having trust issues. which is fair but not an excuse to leave me on read. idk. the sex is good i guess. he makes me feel wanted ? but i don’t think actually wants to date me. like he’s not very good at talking abt how he feels but he’s also not being very willing to even try. idk i think i’m wasting time that could be spent studying and writing profiles on a man that has no upward life trajectory. he tells me i’m so beautiful. that’s nice. maybe i’m judging him. but i need him to not be doing drugs and drinking and i need him to be healthy and stable. he isn’t. this is very much a canon event for me. like even if he’s nice to me he’s still moving in a year idk. let’s not think that far ahead. he just doesn’t give me what i need most of the time -----

this is like being in a car with my foot on the gas even though i can see the fucking brick wall right in front of me

-----

once again my period is slightly late and i’m panicking again. i need to call the clinic -----

yk i think the issue here is that i keep thinking oh well he’s not like MEAN to me or anything like he’s not doing anything bad but i feel like this is sm sm sm more insidious of a feeling cuz its like lack of any fucking effort at all or any interest or any romance or anything and im seventeen and maybe i shouldnt be settling for this shit also he was like i’m gonna ask u out? and he hasn’t? and he keeps letting me vape which is embarrassing truly not a single sign of care for me lmfao jesus christ i wish dustin still existed

-----

i wanna care for u and be like a husband to u and i’ll try to get a photo of the stars for u meanwhile this man won’t even text me unless i text him and even then he responds twenty hours later with one message and no intention of continuing the convo so really i’m the idiot here -----

truly don’t feel like i’m making outlandish requests but this mf still can’t do anything lmfao i wish i was dating someone and they were nice to me -----

this is self harm. and i know it is and i need to stop like this is embarrassing and bad and a waste of time

[imy2]

noted o7

5-2 warrens so cutee .. ugh pandora..... oo hi red .. •

lmao warren opening the trunk to murphy then slamming it back on him .. "ok, wanna do it the right way? open the trunk, let the man out - i'll apologize, my bad 🙄" lol cooper ,, aw warren :( but murphys smile at her :') •

hmm last ep doc asked w 10k n sarge n dante all right there - "whats in the bizcuitz?" and george answers "nobody knows, no one wants to know - rumor is, it's a trace amount of brains." so whyy ?? this episode, 10k asks dante "what's in those things anyway" and dante says "nobody knows for sure, nobody wants to know. my guess, trace amounts of brains." ??? i would've said 10k asked again to see if they got the same answer, but dante was there when george answered the first time so obv he'd just be able to repeat what she said... so i'm thinking this was just a genuine mess up ? •

ughh estes ... •

ahhh warren n george lookin at each other , oh to be in the middle of that look.. omg i forgot puppies n kittens was from george.. •

aww wb sun mei :-) .. hi cz .. •

"another... dude? and they got a kid?" i too would drink the zombie thumb alcohol after that one 10k •

omglol i just gasped when leroy shot cliff.. not cool leroy! "heyy you shot me :/" "i'll do it again if you don't shut up." 'this was my favorite t-shirt :(" •

5-3 "people have been giving me the eyeball since i got here!" "you look like satan." "yeah and i'm rockin it 🕺 but still it's rude to stare!" redmurphy does look pretty cool •

oh damnn i forgot abt 10k.. mann :/ bye sarge ... •

5-4 man warren laughing this ep made me realize how little she's laughed thruout the show .. wish i was in that room w george n warren ... •

5-5 i wish I was the zombie warren n george just slammed on that table.. ok i'll stop (unless it happens again) •

aww nana n jz r so cute .. •

this time doc was the one throwin a zombomb down the elevator(/air) shaft .. lmaoo "but i could use a light" wld be a great gif •

omg wb addy •

5-6 "alright i'll go ahead" "why" "bc ur my friend n i dont want u to get hurt" george pls .. •

hmm redmurphy cooloutfit another 5/5 look .. hellll yeah he got doc a look too •

lmaooo dante pulling a peeta •

5-7 lol doc gettin stabbed by murphys spiked gloves when they fist bump ... what car r doc n george in rn, i like it ... bye dante :// .. •

"take care of them." "yeah yeah, i got it." "ok well then, be safe." "no, you be safe out there. i don't want to have to go traipsing around half of screwmerica again to save your ass." "i don't care how many times you gotta traipse around to save me - but when you do, pick a color." lmaoo .. "i mean it, warren. the apocalypse wouldn't be half as fun without you in it. be careful." ohhh the looksss. "i love you too, murphy." murphy's facee :') .. "god, keep him safe." mannn •

5-8 oo i dont like this ep :/•

this was cute ..•

5-9 interesting ep.. kuruk n ayalla r so cool n pretty ..•

5-10 "one mans junk is another mans treasure. . that didn't come out right." lol doc •

man always hate that end bit... •