#unless they pull the whole phase shit on me like the last time I came out to them

[the-gayestidiot]

I think at this point my dysphoria has gotten so bad I'm in the mindset of I need to transition or I'll die but. Look where we are now.

[emperor-palpaminty]

Killing Time

Because nothing can kill a relationship like lies.

A modern AU where crosshair is a hitman and you're his loyal girlfriend who happens to be in the bodyguard business, but neither one of you know the other's careers

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, making oit and allusions to smut, also this is in no way accurate to real life and it's just dramatic, please don't hurt me lol

children you have full permission to run away and not come here, in fact please run away

Very few things phased you. The only things that brought you to your precipice of agitation was burning pasta, your phone charger not working, and showing up to your shift only to realize someone had been killing all your clients.

Who said keeping people alive was easy? No one, that was who, and if anyone said it they were wrong or had no experience working with others whatsoever. Making sure others lived to see their next day was deadly business, for the people that were trying to live, at least.

“Charles!” You barked, feet hitting the floor of the bull pen. “What the hell happened?” You slammed your files on your desk, face warm, head just about collapsing with pressure. Your fingers pressed to your temples, hoping that they would grip it, hold it together. “Burke was alive when I left last night.”

“Doesn't matter now." Your coworker dropped his sandwich onto his desk. "Burke is fucking dead now. As dead as a doorknob." He swallowed his bite. "Luckily, you weren't on shift when it happened, so you aren't gonna catch any fire for it."

"Shit, Charles, a man is dead." You collapsed in your chair, a gentle "oomph" escaping your mouth. Your lips pressed together in agitation and you moaned to yourself. "This is the third one in two months. Sure, I'll get a couple cold bodies, but-"

"But this is a lot." Charles sunk into his own chair, grabbing for his sandwich again.

You stared at him, disbelief coating your gaze. "One is a lot, Charles," You snarled, grabbing at the folder on your desk. "Any leads?"

"Oh, yeah. But they're all at Burke's mansion." Charles tossed the crust of his lunch into the trash can. "I can drive ya."

"No, I'll take my car," You grumbled. You swiped the keys from your desk and stood, stalking back towards the elevator, anger eating away at you.

If one more of your clients- YOUR own clients- got killed, you would have to start pulling full shifts again.

___

Your shoes, practical, did little more than tap against the marble floor as you ducked under the Police tape. You skimmed the scene, frowning, eyes gracing past a particularly nasty chunk of gore on the wall. "Shot from above," You mumbled, glancing at the shattered window.

The mansion was huge. You'd been coming here for nearly a year now to keep an eye on Burke, and it still shocked you when you saw the absolute volume of the home. How much house would one man need, exactly?

In your years as a bodyguard you'd watched out for a lot of people- spoiled celebrities, prideful and arrogant politicians, and a particularly interesting Chef who had an unusual desire to cook everything with some kind of caffeine in it. That was probably your favorite client.

"Excuse me, miss," a voice broke the mumble in the next room, probably of detectives or cops sweeping the house for evidence. "You shouldn't-"

"I was Burke's bodyguard." You tugged your badge out or your pocket, allowing the interrupting police officer to take it and examine it. “You can verify with my assistant, Charles. Make sure you tell him he’s my assistant and not the other way around, though, he can be a dick.”

The cop hesitated, then gave a slight nod. “Well, we’re still cleaning up the scene.” His hands offered your badge back, and you slid it into your back pocket, satisfaction deflating. “You can come by later after it’s clean. Ballistics is running comparisons right now.” He paused and glanced at the shattered window. “Looks like the shot came from the garage. It’s the only side with no motion sensors or alarms.” The cop’s brows raised in interest. “Know why?”

“No.” You said, calmly, turning towards the front door. “I assume I can go there?” You heard no objection as you stepped outside, tugging your sunglasses back on over your eyes. The sun was unforgiving and you gave an involuntary hiss as the bright rays hit your eyes just right to temporarily give your vision black spots. You blinked strongly and hurried towards the garage. 

In truth, Burke had alarms everywhere except the garage because he had so many people and cars coming and going. For any new technology the billionaire was releasing, the man had drugs and other forms of entertainment coming in and out, and it was all stuff that would probably bring him down. That nondisclosure form was still somewhere in the house in some obscure filing cabinet and you really, really, really didn’t feel like having a lawsuit lurking over your shoulders. Life was too good- well, everything outside of people you were being paid to keep alive was good. 

Death really killed the whole “survival” business.

You clamored your way to the roof of the garage, noting the ladder was the same one that the gardener used around the several acres Burke owned. The police had to have put it here- the gardener only came in the mornings.

So who the hell climbed up here without a ladder? Most people didn’t want to put in the effort to scale this freehand or wedge between the wall of the garage and the fence to shimmy up. That someone had to be either very determined to kill Burke, for personal motive or financial motive.

You brushed off you pants and glanced around, looking down at the surface of the roof. Nothing- not even a bullet casing- had been left behind. You frowned and raked a hand through your hair, skimming your scalp as you examined the roof, walking to the edge closest to the window.

You stared in, at the shattered glass, pondering. Burke was heading to bed when he'd been shot, you assumed, so the assassian would have had to know his routine. Your mind ran through possibilities again, but you could come up with none that were motivated personally enough or fit enough to climb without much assistance. You trailed along the surface, frowning, unable to find anything, but paused at a smudge of black paint, small, on the corner of the roof.

____

You turned your car down the street, exhaling softly as you pulled into your driveway.

99. That was what the marks said. Very subtle, meant nothing, unless it was a birth year or graduating class. The cops had come back, irritated, snapped a couple of pictures, and told you off about your wild theories of a fiscally motivated assassian. Apparently, you watched too many scret agent movies, or something like that.

You opened the door of the car and climbed out, frustration making you slam it shut. You inhaled the scent of the yard- clean, fresh cut, and perhaps it could help soothe your anger before you went inside.

After fumbling on your Keychain, you unlocked the door and hurried in, locking it behind you. "Cross?"

A savory aroma wafted from the kitchen, and your mouth watered. Your toes found their way out of your shoes and you hurried to the kitchen, pausing briefly at the doorway.

Cross's lanky figure was leaning over the skillet, stirring something, pale hands moving in expertise across the stove top. "Darling, you're late." He drawled.

You sighed, fully entering the kitchen. "Yeah. Sorry." You leaned up and wrapped your arms around his waist, face pressing against his back. You sighed. The day felt a little less bad now- filled with him. "Work kept me."

"How was work?"

You grunted. "A killer. An absolute killer." The irony was not lost on you, but it was lost to your boyfriend. He thought you were an editor for some book publishing company, because cover was the most important thing. You were one of those people trying to stay alive, after all.

Lies hurt, but it was one of the necessary ones. A little lie.

"Yikes." His hands drew plates to himself. "Mine wasn't much better. Got a few new clients, a few new cases." He sighed. "The Baliff forgot to submit evidence."

You mumbled against his shirt. "Law school really paid off, huh?"

"I'll say." He turned around, adjusting your arms, slowly taking your chin and leaning down to peck you. You always melted at his kisses, knees weak and brain numb, and he seemed to know it every time. You hummed, running your hands up his chest, the irritation for the day pooling to your midsection as your fingers gripped his shirt, your lips pulling in on his.

Cross tugged away gently, and you whined, fingers stubbornly clasped. "Wow, really frustrated today."

"Yes," You mumbled.

His lips pressed towards one of their corners in a half smile, and he picked your head. "Go shower. Then we can eat and I'll take care of you."

You hummed, fingers reluctantly releasing him, and you hurried away to the bathroom. You paused at the dresser, rummaging through, grabbing an especially large t-shirt and hipster underwear. Comfort was more important at the moment.

You climbed into the shower, turning the water to as hot as you could and scrubbing yourself off, humming in pleasure as the day came off you and went down the drain. The floral scent of the soap remained, the purple bad working diligently to rid you of your grime and frustration. Lavender really is a natural relaxant. You sighed and leaned back briefly on the tile, feeling every muscle in you ease at the same time.

After toweling off and getting dressed, your padded to the kitchen where Cross was pouring a your favorite wine. You sighed happily, accepting the glass as he skimmed your fresh-showered body. "Thanks."

"Of course." Cross picked up his own glass, taking a sip, eyes still diligently stripping you on their own. You shivered slightly, setting down your glass and looking up at him. "Dinner's ready," He mumbled, leaning in, pressing a hand to the counter of either side of you, leaving your back to the counter. "But I would much rather start with dessert."

You drew in a breath as he pressed his lips to your neck, drawing out a sigh with his teeth. You wrapped your arms around his neck, humming in agreement, and he scooped you up. Your groaned as he drew your legs around his lips, shifting, the agitating heat pooling back between your legs. "That's a good idea." You mumbled, whimpering as he bucked his hips slightly. "I just showered, though."

"Then we can take another one," He hissed, lips covering yours. "You're so damn intoxicating."

You mumbled something against his lips, unable to get a coherent response out as he dropped you on the bed. You bounced briefly, giggling, and he yanked off his shirt and joined you, climbing over you and hovering. "Come here, sweetheart," His finger traced over your shirt between your breasts, running down to the hem. "Let's end the day on a good note."

You whimpered, neck straining as you leaned up for his kiss, and you felt Cross snarl against you, tugging your surrendered form up closer to him. Your body relaxed again, neck loosening and head back against the pillow as he tugged your own shirt up, eyes gleaming with a primal eagerness that made you swoon, ready to work out the agitation for the day you both had.

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction | You’re Insecure About Your Acne/Acne Scars [Request]

A/N: I just want to start this off by saying you’re all beautiful no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you have acne or acne scars, or something else that makes you feel insecure because you’re beautiful no matter what in my eyes.

Also thank you to the kind anon, I promise I’m not overworking myself and I’m staying hydrated! As of writing this I’m on my fifth cup of tea, second hot chocolate and first bottle of water XD

Seokin:

Jin knew you always woke up earlier than normal just to make sure you could get some makeup on before he got up but he never understood why and when he questioned you about it you would lie and tell him you were just an early riser. He knew it was a lie because you could never look him in the eyes, it was your tell whenever you were lying. This morning when he felt the bed shift he made sure to stay awake so he could see what it was you were doing each morning.

"Baby?" His morning voice made you jump as you thought you were alone this morning,

"Shit! W-What are you doing awake?" You jumped, holding onto the bathroom door as you came out of the en-suite a little shocked to see him awake this time in the morning with you.

"I wanted to see what you were doing..." As he looked up at you he instantly knew what was happening, you had a small makeup bag clutched in your hands and you tried to hide it.

"Jagiya..." He said slowly as you looked down at the floor, taking the makeup bag over to your overnight bag and put it into it.

"It's nothing Jin-"

"Baby come here," He whispered, pulling back the sheets for you to sit down beside him so you did. Not saying anything as he wrapped his arms around your shoulder and pulled you into a silent hug,

"J-Jin-" You couldn't finish the sentence as you already began to let the tears fall down your cheeks, gripping onto his white shirt as you sobbed.

"Shh baby, it's okay...Just breathe...Tell me when you're ready," He already knew what it was that was bothering you from the makeup back he could put it together. You'd always been insecure about the scars that were left behind after your acne and would never listen to Jin when he told you he didn't care about them.

"Is this what you do every morning?" He questioned when you finally stopped crying and looked up at him, tears filling your eyes as you nodded at him.

"Baby I told you already, you don't need to feel insecure around me...I know there isn't anything I can say to make you feel okay about them but I want you to know that you don't have to hide from me." He whispered to you as he turned you to look up at him,

"You don't have to hide from me, ever." He was cupping your face in your hands as he ran his thumb under your eyes to get rid of the tears that were staring to roll down again.  

"It'll take time for you to accept it but please, believe me when I tell you I don't want you to be insecure about this..." You nodded at him not trusting yourself to talk without crying just yet. With that he kissed the top of your head, pulling you to lay down with him as he snuggled his head into your neck,

"You know we could go and have an early breakfast-" You tried to say but he groaned at you, hiding his head in your neck as he mumbled about not wanting to get out of bed yet.

Yoongi:

The first couple of times when you'd blown Yoongi off for a public date he thought they could have been genuine reasons but as the third date came around and you cancelled right at the last second he decided he was going to find out what was going on. You'd been dating for years and now you were finally public with your relationship and could go out on dates you seemed to lose interest in the whole idea of public dates. You didn't have to hide anymore and yet here you were, hiding.

"Y/n? Open the door baby." He called out as he knocked on your apartment door, he had a key but you'd dead bolted the top of the door so he couldn't make his way inside.

"I'm not feeling well," You lied as you looked through the peephole to see him standing there looking up at you sadly.

"We both know that's a lie, open the door." You wanted to cry out for him to leave you alone, to just not come in but you caved. Unlocking the door and letting him inside.

"What's going on? D-Do you not want to be together anymore?" He questioned as he looked at you sorrowfully, his eyes filled with tears.

"Yoongi it isn't that-"

"You keep cancelling our dates...Did I do something to upset you? Is it revenge for something I did...Tell me what I did and I'll make it up to you," He continued to rant on about how he would do anything to make it up to you and you just snapped at him,

"I don't want to get photographed if I get photographed everyone will see them and then they'll all say something mean..." It took Yoongi a couple of seconds to process what it was you were trying to hint at when it hit him. Your acne and acne scars. You'd always been so insecure about them around him but after a while, you realised he wasn't phased by them but now the thought of going out with him. People seeing you with their huge HD cameras...It scared you.

"Y/n-"

"Yoongi, people will see them. They'll see my insecurities." Your tears began rolling so Yoongi raced to your side and pulled you into a tight embrace, kissing your shoulder and shaking his head.

"No...They'll see them and they will realise that just like everybody else, you get acne, everyone gets spots and acne...And other things babe...Don't let this bring you down...Please." You looked up at him and shook your head, you knew he was right deep down but you weren't ready for it yet...Not tonight at least.

"Can we just stay in tonight? Pizza and a movie..." You whispered to him as the thought of going out crepy into your head.

"Yes...But we will go out eventually princess...When you're ready," You nodded at him and he kissed your nose.

Hoseok:

Tears streamed down your cheeks as Hoseok clutched you close in his arms, telling you how beautiful and amazing he thought you were over and over again. He'd come home from work to find you crying in front of the bedroom mirror when he questioned what it was about, you told him how insecure you were about your acne scars and how moving in together meant it was harder to hide it from him now.

"You're breathtaking petal...I know you won't believe me yet but I'm going to do my best to remind you everyday of how beautiful you are." He cooed as you continued to cry into his chest, he rocked you back and forth softly. Kissing the top of your head as he continued to tell you everything he thought about you.

"There is nothing wrong with having acne or acne scars, no one has crystal clear skin." He whispered as you tried to tell him how bad it was and how you hated it.

"No one has crystal clear skin unless they pay for that treatment...Everyone breaks out. Please princess, you're gorgeous." He reassured you, cradling you closer to his body as he whispered it over and over.

Namjoon:

Namjoon walked into the bedroom to see you struggling to put makeup on, he frowned watching you from the distance as you began to let silent tears roll down your cheeks.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours, huh?" He questioned as he walked up behind you and bent down to kiss the top of your head but you moved from his touch. He thought you'd moved past the insecurity stage. You'd been doing so well lately,

"Your best friend said something didn't she?" He questioned as he realised where you had been yesterday, you'd gone to meet a friend for lunch without makeup on for the first time ever and he was proud of you for doing so.

"She-She was just telling me the truth I needed to hear-"

"Which was what?!" He growled, angry at your so-called friend instead of at you.

"That I should wear makeup, no one needs to be put off from-" You couldn't talk any more thanks to Namjoon pressing his lips against yours. You sighed against his touch, pushing him away,

"Namjoon she was right-"

"She's wrong, and she's not a friend if she thinks you should hide away your acne scars...Acne is normal, everyone has breakouts and it doesn't make you any less beautiful than you are just because you have some scars." You teared up at his words and he bent down to kiss you again, picking you up so you couldn't sit in front of the mirror any longer to nitpick at yourself. He knew you too well to know that was what you would do so he was going to distract you all day and remind you how gorgeous he found you.

Jimin:

You didn't even have to say or do anything, Jimin walked into the room and he could feel the insecure seeping from you. He didn't say anything to you, he just walked over to the sofa you were sitting on and pulled you into his arms. Kissing your shoulder softly as he wrapped his arms around you, snuggling against you as he tried to find a movie for you both to watch.

"Do you think I'll ever be as pretty as them?" You questioned when the movie started and four beautiful girls came onto the screen, Jimin sighed at you.

"I think you're prettier than them...You have nothing to be insecure about baby." He whispered in your ear, placing a small and gentle kiss on your neck as he rested his head on your shoulder.

"Jimin I have acne-"

"Who cares princess? I don't...I know you do but you have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to things like this. Everybody breaks out sometimes. I do. The boys do. Everybody does-"

"You could never have a breakout..." You whimpered as you thought about him saying he broke out,

"Baby...I have makeup artists who hide my breakouts, I also have people who edit the photos to make it look like we have HD skin when we don't..." A part of you knew he was right so you didn't say anything to him, you just laid your head on his shoulder while watching the screen.

Taehyung:

Taehyung understood your insecurities well, he got insecure whenever he was having a breakout or something was making him insecure so when he came home from a day at the studio and found you crying he knew what to do. He sat down with you in the bed, saying nothing as he held you in his arms, kissing the top of your head and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. He knew there was nothing he could say to make you feel better currently so he was just going to tell you how beautiful you were for now and remind you that he loved you no matter what.

“T-Tae-” You tried to say something to make him stop hugging you but he only held onto you tighter reminding you how much he loved every inch of you. 

Jungkook:

Jungkook knew you were insecure about your acne which was why he was always trying to help you find something to help combat it. He wanted to do anything he could to make you feel less insecure about it and if that meant finding a treatment that would work for you than that was what he would do.

"You know I think you're beautiful, no matter what right..." He whispered when he came into the bedroom that night, you were laying in bed reading from one of your favourite books.

"I know you do," You whispered to him as he sat down beside you, there had been a time in your lives when you wouldn't be able to do this. You would refuse to sleep next to him because you couldn't sleep with makeup on but you had come so far now. He was reminding you how beautiful you were because the treatment you'd been using that was working for you was being discontinued from the market. They were no longer going to be selling it to anyone anymore.

"I love you," He whispered again as you snuggled into his chest, laying your head on his chest so you could listen to his heartbeat. One of the many things about Jungkook that soothed you at night.

"I love you too," You yawned, looking up at him sleepily as you struggled to keep your eyes open for much longer. He sighed at you, kissing the top of your head as he reminded you how beautiful you were to him.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @kneel-begyourpardon​ @rjsmochii​ @taestannie​ @bisexualmess007​ @innersooya​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @agustdjoon​

[theyanderespecialist]

Body For Rent? (One Shot) Don X Mark OC (Your Boyfriend) (Yandere)

[Hello My Sexy Readers and welcome back to another one shot this another Your boyfriend one, with Mark as a sissy paying for rent with Romance? Who knows how this will end anyways I hope you all enjoy!]

(Mark's POV)

Don is over and I was on the phone with Lucy begging her to come back with her part of the rent. She said she would when she got to it. I knew that means never. Oh I wanted to smash my phone! But that would cost me more money so instead I look at Don. He was fixing a light bulb and how could I tell him not only could Lucy not pay her half but neither could I? My grandma had to have surgery and helping pay for the after car I had no extra money not to mention the dinner won't give me any extra hours and I already have to jobs. God what do I do?!?

But it's probably best to just tell him. So I take a deep breath as I walk over.

"U-Uh..Don..?"

"Yeah kid?"

"....uh I..I need to talk to you it's important.."

"I'm all ears." He said as he was still fixing the bulb.

"Well...Lucy hasn't paid her half of the rent for like six months, and I'm running out of money..I'm short about 100 dollars..I'm wondering, should I give you some of my jewelry or furniture so that it's not a total loss or do I move out? I can be packed next week.."

He looked down at me and stepped off the ladder. "Mark I cannot take anything from you. I care to much to do that but I can't throw you out either. You said I am a dilf right? Well do you really want to fuck me? Like giving a chance would you?" He asks

I blinked. I don't understand why he was asking that..he said he wouldn't bring up that embarrassing moment again..

"U-Uh..I don't know why you're asking..." I said softly as I looked down. "B-But..I-I mean yeah I-I would..you're a sweet guy.."

He falter a bit. Then took a deep breath. "It is hard getting back in the dating game and a man grows lonely. Would you like to stay at my place tonight?" He asks and I stare. "I will wave your rent for the month."

I stared at him was he asking if I would have sex as rent payment!? Then I thought of my grandmother I could take next weekend off and go see her with the money I have.

"Yes okay." I say and he nodded picking up the latter.

Oh shit what did I get myself into?

-Time Skip-

I sat down as I expected to come in and get fucked..but I was instead treated to a lovely dinner.

"Sorry I uh- I normally only cooked when my kids were hungry and everything, I'm not a house husband." He gave an awkward laugh.

Then after he did dishes we went to the bedroom he helps me into bed then climbs in as well turn off the lights and- spooned me? I looked at him and he almost fell asleep instantly? I grab a pillow and hit him.

"I'm awake!" He says half asleep.

"You fell asleep on me..." I whisper.

"Well that is the point how else are we supposed to sleep together." He says

Then it hit me he did not want sex... but why?

I looked away .was..I not attractive? Was I too feminine? Did he just not want sex?

(Timeskip)

Over the last two weeks I've phased out of wearing my feminine clothes, and wore masculine clothes as Don looked over at.me.

"Okay Mark, whats with the change in style?" He asked as I stood up.."well why won't you have sex with me Don?! You haven't done anything that shows you're even romantically attracted much less sexually attracted to me!" I snapped as I go to the room. I really liked don. These last two weeks confirmed it but it hurt...knowing he wasn't into me like that.

He probably saw me as some stupid kid..

I hear a knock on my door. "I am not having sex with you because your not an object! You are a person a beautiful sexy person! And I want you to want to be with me! Not use your rent as an excuse to be with you! Damnit I am in love with you Mar!" I hear him say through the door

I stopped at that. I was shocked..beyond shocked. I walked over to the door as I opened it.

"....you're not messing with me?" I asked. "No! God damn it kid, you think this is the first time.you been late on rent, if I didn't care I'd et you and that fucking dead beat figure it out on your own on the street--" I cut him off as I jumped at him as he has to catch me as I kiss his face before hesitating and kissing his lips.

He gasped but then smiled and kissed me. He walked me into my room and closes and locks my bedroom door. Then pulls away as we both pant.

"Your mind now~" He says possessively and throws me on the bed stripping his belt and tying my hands to the bed. Ass in air and him ripping down my jeans.

)Marie Has unleashed the beast XD)

I did not get time to think as he spread my cheeks spits on my anus and starts to eat my ass it. I gasped and moaned and leaned into him taking more of his tongue~ Oh god I never done this before and lord it is gooood~~~

(Don's POV)

(Don has the green light XD)

I looked down at Mark as he was seemingly already in heaven, like this was his first time getting such treatment.

I didn't think Mark had wanted me in that way but now that I know, now that I'm certain- I'm going to have him as mine. He would make a wonderful new wife and stepmom to my boys.

I shove my tongue on the way in and start tongue fucking his cute boy pussy I think the kids would call it

(hah the boy pussy I mean he isn't wrong)

(XD)

I could see him grabbing and releasing the pillow as his cock twitched, I already knew these sheets would have to be cleaned, but knowing we were the ones to mess them up so much~

I think his ass is ready and I look at him, "Front or back?" I ask.

"huh?" He asks.

"Do you want to be on your front or back?" I ask. "I want our first time special."

"I don't..."

"Just which is your favorite?"

"I-- uh that's the thing Mr.Williams uh...I've never had sex..you took my first kiss.."

I smile and kiss him flipping him onto his back and line up and kiss his chest.

"I love you.." I muttered as I remove that stupid shirt.

"I loved the way you dressed..because you liked it."

(Thank you, it's more so he loves seeing mark comfortable. I'm normally uncomfortable in men clothing unless I'm feeling more masculine, so that's why mark is like that. It's not a trans fetish, I could care less about your gender. I just have issues with my body. And those are my issues and so they are on mark as well.)

(Yes cause my co author is gender fluid and mark is her if she was a man and cross dresses for comfort not to sexalize the transgenders or anything like that)

"Really?" He asks.

"Yes you always seemed more happy and comfortable in female clothes, what ever makes you happy makes me happy"

(like I fuck in crossdressing cause I'm comfortable.)

He looked at me as he then gave a smiled.

"Aw isn't that sweet. Mr.Williams loves me." He said as I look at him. Was he mocking.me?

(Yeah! Power to my co author!)

She smiles and plays with my hand. "Have I been a bad tennat Mr. Williams? If I have you better fuck the bad out of me~"

I blush she is role playing.

And like I said before. I wasn't interested in fucking her to give her a place to stay....

Bit role play, that's a whole different story.

"You've been real bad, but I'll let it slide-Just be a good girl for me~" I purr as she smirked and was about to say something...until I thrust into her as her voice got caught in her throat, turning into more of a desperate whimper.

I smirked and and started to thrust in and out of her feeling her clench on my cock.

"No so tight~" I moan. "You need to relax baby~"

She let out a moan as she was already drooling. "I-I'm trying! I-I'm as relaxed as I can be!~" she cried out as her legs wrapped around my hips.

"Oh your just that tight you naughty thing~" I say with smirked.

She moaned as she thrust back onto my cock.

"I don't hear you complaining~" she moaned out as I could.hear the wet slap of our skin.

I was not I loved him and I could not wait to stretch his pussy out then to let it tighten again~ I love him so much. I pull him back into a kiss, not even caring that they slipped out of my belt and were running his nails across my back. I loved it and could tell she was close as I start to hit her gspot and she cums hard on my cock moaning loudly. I came inside of her as well as I collapse on her as she smiled. "I love you.."

I smile and kiss her deeply. I love her so so much and she is mine.

[dontcallmecarrie]

Downward Descending

the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and every villain is the hero of his own story. 

Justin Hammer didn’t consider himself a good man. 

Kind? Yes. But not good.

aka thanks, commenter, I blame the plot twist my brain came up with on you because I had zero inspiration for this AU up until I saw your comment

probably won’t make sense if you didn’t read part one to this mess and heads up, the protagonist becomes a villain here. Under the cut because it ran away on me, again.

.

Above all things, Justin Hammer was a realist. 

Kind of hard not to be, considering; between their [fading] memories of another world, and the life they’d been stuck with this round as the heir of Hammer Industries, they’d never really had a chance to get their head in the clouds.

Other people could dream of a better future, and he really did wish them all the best— but in the meantime, he had work to do.

.

Justin didn’t understand these people. 

Sometimes, he wondered if he ever would.

.

Justin didn’t think much of his family: oh, sure, they were loaded, but...well, for obvious reasons, he didn’t think very highly of some— okay, most— of their parenting choices.

Look, some people just aren’t meant to be parents, okay? But at least they try and give a damn.

These guys didn’t even bother.

Not when their heir turned out to be a normal kid instead of a once-in-a-generation child prodigy and genius [no hard feelings, though, Stark]. 

Eh. Whatever. 

Might’ve been for the best, actually; at least it was him and not some other poor kid who got stuck with dealing with all the crushing expectations and comparisons to a frankly impossible ideal, and at least they didn’t try to pull any of that shit with his little sister because if they had then...he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done, but it would not have been pretty.

[they were an older sibling twice over. some things were etched into their soul.]

.

It wasn’t like Justin had set out to quasi-adopt just about everyone remotely his age, okay? It just sort of...happened. 

Okay, look, it’s not his fault everyone his generation looks like a kid to him, they’re all brats and for some reason, all their parents came in different flavors of shitty because their IQs were sky-high but their collective emotional intelligence wouldn’t have filled a teaspoon so looks like it was up to him to step up.

Look, it made perfect sense at the time!

.

Sometimes, it’s funny how Justin is the most mature person in the room. Other times, it’s just pathetic.

Especially when it’s two grown men half a second from duking it out while in public, like they weren’t supposed to be setting an example for their kids.

Justin couldn’t help his dark look at the spectacle, even as he ushered Stark and Pym to the buffet tables on the other side of the room, all the while trying to keep the conversation light. He didn’t really have the time for hobbies, not with all the private tutors his parents kept foisting on him, but it was still nice to hear what other people his age got up to. 

...unless said kid was Stark, in which case they all got regaled with an overenthusiastic spiel on something that went way over Justin’s head but hey, he’d had plenty of practice nodding along to Steph’s chatter so this was nothing.

.

Looking back, it’s kind of sad how something as simple as giving half a damn was enough for Stark to consider them lifelong friends.

Even sadder, because Justin hadn’t even realized it at the time; he’s just been his usual self.

But apparently, that was enough for some people, was significant enough to be remembered even decades later— long after Justin himself had forgotten all about the encounter.

.

There weren’t a lot of things Justin put actual effort in. 

Emotionally, that is; he was not afraid from hard work, never had been, but there was a world of difference between brushing up on engineering terms and being there for someone. 

Not like his mother, who’d apparently thought giving birth to him and his sister was enough involvement in his life, and proceeded to spend all her time in the Bahamas whenever she had the chance. Not for his father, who constantly tried to make him into something he was not, and finding him wanting [when he wasn’t being a sexist piece of shit who regularly cheated on his wife, anyway, but that was a whole other mess entirely].

But maybe that’s why he tried to be kind, why he tried to be there for the people around him.

...oh, and apparently he’d been known for giving good advice in boarding school to anyone who asked. Which was weird, but whatever. At least he’d helped?

.

Justin tried to be a good older sibling. Really, he did, trying to be as supportive as he could be of Steph as he could.

Sometimes, though, that landed him in some...interesting situations.

Such as her infamous ‘fashion design’ phase, which lasted for five very memorable months, during which he wore even her most dubious of creations without complaint even though he really, really couldn’t pull off that particular shade of orange. 

There were probably pictures still floating around, actually, but he was in no particular hurry to dig them up.

Not that he was ashamed, because he’d like to think he pulled off some of those combinations remarkably well, but... well, if it were anyone other than his sister asking, he probably wouldn’t have done it.

Goodness knew how long it’d taken for some of the other guys at boarding school to look him in the eye afterwards. 

.

Several decades in, and Justin Hammer had yet to express interest in anyone.

Oh, he was perfectly polite and charming to everyone; courteous and charismatic, but...well.

'Gentleman’, some called him; ‘in the closet’, dismissed others with a scoff.

The truth was somewhere in between: Justin couldn’t help but see everyone his age or younger as kids, and between that, his natural older sibling instincts, and his own personal issues with his body that came and went, well...

At least Stark was always a good distraction, nobody paid attention to him when the guy was around. 

.

Justin worked at his company long before he became its CEO. 

It was a bit awkward at first, because everyone seemed to be uncomfortable with the idea of the boss’ kid looking over their shoulders, but once they saw he did good work and pulled his weight [and didn’t regularly make tasteless jokes about kitchens or whatever bullshit his old man was up to these days], things picked up the pace.

He bounced between departments a bit because he wanted to get a better feel for the company, and it was during his brief foray in the marketing department that he came across something that gave him pause.

Now, he knew Hammer Industries followed federal guidelines on who they did and didn’t sell to, officially, but...there were a few grey areas sometimes. 

Normally, it wasn’t something he’d have blinked at, but he recognized the names on this particular proposal.

“Von Doom? Latveria? Geez, Victor, what’ve you been up to?”

.

Once upon a time, there had been a boy who appreciated silence when studying during a time when most children his age were anything but.

So when another brat showed up, he hadn’t exactly been happy about it at first. 

But they were quiet, and seemed to prefer to keep their nose in their book, and so they’d come to a wordless agreement to share the space. 

For over three years, they studied together and shared exasperated looks when the other brats got loud, and so it was that a friendship was born.

It wasn’t until they stopped showing up one day that Justin learned that there was turmoil in that student’s country that’d forced them to go back, and only then that he learned his silent studymate’s name.

.

An unusual childhood friendship wasn’t much to go off of.

But it was something.

And knowing what he did about Victor, and the pull his country had in the international sphere... it was a risky gamble, but he was fairly certain he could pull it off.

So Justin quietly but firmly took that particular proposal from the ‘reject’ pile, and took it to his father to look over.

He was still fairly new at this, but he knew how to play the game. It was a risky gamble, but if this panned out, they’d have a significantly stronger foothold in places their rivals couldn’t even dream.

Worst comes to worse, well... everyone was so focused on what was going down in Yugoslavia, it wasn’t like they’d particularly care if a few shipments went missing, now, would they?

It wasn’t pretty, but then, Justin wouldn’t get anywhere in the world if he was afraid of getting his hands dirty.

.

Latveria’s reputation as an unstable country ended when the scion of one of their most eminent families went and united its people, kicking out all of the outside factions vying for territory as he did.

Then he promptly turned around and revitalized its economy, infrastructure, and gods knows what else because seemingly overnight, Latveria turned into one of the richest countries on the planet. 

Sitting back in his chair, Justin smiled as he put down the newspaper.

“Huh. Sounds like someone’s been busy.”

.

He got a very slick cell phone via courier, not long after that. 

That, and a slip of paper with a simple ‘Thanks’ in Victor’s signature scrawl.

.

Years passed.

Years passed, and shit went down, but no matter what hurdles life threw his way, Justin powered through them nonetheless.

Like when his little sister had a kid and their parents freaked out because she wasn’t married, and then freaked out even more when little Timmy turned out to be on the spectrum and Justin wasn’t remotely surprised when she cut all contact with them after that.

Goodness knew he’d have done the same long ago, after all the shit they’d pulled over the years.

He was just happy she chose to keep him in her life, and that Timmy seemed to really like him as an uncle. 

.

Stark was a bona fide hero, was talking about privatizing world peace. 

Justin wished him the best of luck.

But...well, he hadn’t been the one to propose their rivalry, but if Stark wasn’t in the industry to compete against, then... oh, bother.

Looks like he’d have to change up his plans.

.

Stark was acting weird. Well, weirder, he’d never really been able to understand him in the first place.

“What’s wrong?” Justin asked as he pulled him to the side. Sure, it was probably rude to ignore the gala’s host, but he did not like the look in Stark’s eyes, no matter how bright his smile was.

“Hey, Justin! How’ve you been? Long time no see, but—”

“You’re not okay.” He said, making sure his tone brooked no argument because he knew Stark, had known him since they were kids and he was not okay.

It was like a switch flipped: Stark’s smile vanished, and he reached out towards him for a moment before he sighed and were those tears in his eyes? “Yeah, you could say that.”

.

The government wanted to take Stark’s super-fancy suit, and...this, he could work with. Somehow.

Damn it, he’d need to tweak some of his plans even more...

.

For a few seconds, Stark looked very betrayed when he caught sight of him in the courtroom. 

Then his face went blank in the way Justin had long known to be his ‘I am screaming internally but I refuse to let the cameras see’ look, and he felt bad for him even as he submitted his own findings to their audience.

To be honest, they were a long ways off from developing anything close to what Stark already had in hand, but it never hurt to be prepared for the future. If one man could do it, what was to stop another?

They were all lucky Stark was a good man who didn’t abuse his power.

Justin was no hero, but if lightning were to strike twice...better him than a potential threat.

Besides— Stark needed competition if he didn’t want to stagnate. Who knows? Hopefully, they’d be able to push each other to greater heights.

.

Ivan Vanko was a dangerous man. Just as brilliant as Stark, but with an edge that could only have been gained from a hard life.

Dealing with him would be like playing with fire, Justin just knew it.

[Like knew like, after all.]

But he knew people, knew how to work them, and considering that little display at the race track?

He could work with this.

.

It takes a handful of phone calls to put out all the fires from the past few days. 

Perk of being a well-known and respected figure in the defense industry, Justin supposed; Stark’d once mentioned his contact list was classified six ways to Sunday, so really, having a few senators on speed-dial was nothing. 

He had to do some extra sweet-talking to calm down some of the generals, and may or may not have made mention to some of his older contracts to get Stern to ease up, but whatever.

.

Why he was invited to Stark’s birthday celebration, he didn’t know. 

But he brought a bottle of apple cider and champagne anyway, because why the hell not.

.

This party was really, really not his style.

So when he was pulled aside by the man of the hour, he raised an eyebrow when he noticed he was out of his suit and— wait.

Justin whipped back to where the piece of equipment that had been the source of all this mess was dancing on the table, while Tony was in a rumpled suit not three feet from him.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

.

Stark looked like shit. 

...and was apparently dying, because he’d passed up Justin’s offer at a toast, even though it had been an inside joke for almost as long as they could remember.

Also, he’d looked stricken when Justin had tried to joke about it, that was another pretty big clue.

They weren’t normally one for hugs, but this time they didn’t hesitate to offer— and so felt very very awkward when the closest thing they had to a childhood frenemy proceeded to break down in their arms.

Justin’s older sibling instincts flared to life and they tried to murmur reassurances the best they could, but.

Wasn’t like there was much they could say, now, could they?

Stark was dying, and there was nothing they could do about it. 

Something inside Justin was screaming, and the part of him that wasn’t trying to be there for someone absently wondered why...then he noticed what he was saying, and kicked himself for not paying attention earlier.

“—ever give up, I’m here, know you are not alone—”

Geez. Talk about sappy, normally they only got like this around their sister or nephew.

But whatever it was they’d said, it apparently helped. 

Or something, because Stark was honest-to-goodness crying but after a few minutes, started to calm down and pull himself together.

“I’m so, so sorry about this—” Stark started, and Justin cut in.

“Don’t be, looks like you needed it.” And he clearly had; already he looked a lot better than before.

“I...should get back to the party, shouldn’t I?” Ah, looks like Justin wasn’t the only one feeling awkward now.

“It’s gone on for a while, and you look pretty tired. You sure you don’t want to wrap it up instead?”

“...yeah, that’s... probably a good idea. See you around, Justin. Hopefully.”

“See you later, Stark.” 

.

Stark apparently invented a new element in his basement. 

He knew this, because Stark called him up to say he wasn’t dying anymore. 

Once he hung up, he felt torn between immense relief, and exasperation that he’d need to rewrite his plans again.

.

...aaand kinda ran out of steam again. Long story short, yes, this is the AU where Justin Hammer maybe sort of becomes the Lex Luthor of the universe and may or may not end up accidentally creating a League of Evil of sorts because he’s frenemies with Tony and Victor von Doom ends up having a similar dynamic with some grad student and Ivan has some really good ideas and loves sticking it to the man. 

Said club only grows when the Avengers Initiative forms, and Loki escapes custody and joins for the sole purpose of pranking Thor and giving Fury a headache and Justin may or may not end up getting a crush somewhere along the way.

No, I’m not sure how we got here either.

[fatiguing-thoughts]

“This Isn’t Love” - Edward Cullen x Reader

Request:  Okay let’s hurt Edward feelings, we all know he was toxic and Bella fell into it which then again she’s toxic too sooo, how about a writing where Edward is doing the same thing he did to reader and they snap at him calling him out on his shit about how it’s not okay to keep her away from her friends and family and they get into argument and it comes to the point where she tells him to leave and until he changes himself to stay away from her whether or not they make up is up to you! Go crazy😤

        Reader leaves Edward and ends up with mystery character

                                    just a heads up for you all 

I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Wondering how my life turned into what it was. 

The stress of Edward’s constant overprotective, and seemingly obsessive and controlling, state was growing to be too much. The infatuation and love I had for him at the beginning of our relationship was fading as things progressed.

After he left me for months, I went all the way to Italy to save him. I faced the Volturi head on, just to save his life. I still loved him, but while he was gone I was able to spend time with my best friends at La Push-- something he wouldn’t ever let me do. He said they were “dangerous” now.

Whatever that meant, I didn’t care. Edward wouldn’t let me see anyone except for him, my family, or his family. I loved and adored the way his family treated me, but it was just all too much.

While Edward was gone, taking a piece of my heart with him, I spent a lot of time in isolation. I didn’t feel real anymore, nothing did. Until my dad told me to go down to La Push and hang out with my old friends. While I missed everyone, it almost felt scary at first. I was going to see all my friends, and my childhood crush that ran well into my teens, until Edward came along. Thankfully, Edward not being able to read my mind helped greatly, he didn’t need another reason to berate them. For quite some time, I never understood what set them all so apart from each other, what caused hatred for each other to run through their veins. 

I later learned that all of the Quileute legends that Billy spoke about were real-- it was all real. After Harry Clearwater passed away, I unfortunately never got to see Leah anymore after the funeral, but something about her was off. She looked like she was about to burst at any moment and left in a worse mood than she entered with. Even Seth, the ball of sunshine himself. While I knew they were devastated at the passing of their father, I knew deep down that wasn’t it. They were going to phase. 

But right after the funeral, I had to save Edward from exposing himself in Volterra, killing himself in the process. Alice saw me die when I tried cliff jumping with Paul and Jared, not realizing that they saved me from drowning. I guess they couldn’t be seen in her visions. Alas, it was too late when Alice visited me to see if I was alive, Rosalie already told Edward that I had died, Jacob then confirming it at my house without my knowledge. 

Jacob begged me not to leave, but I couldn’t let someone I had loved so much die, especially when it was at my expense. And with that, Alice and I were off, leaving a disappointed Jacob standing in the road. 

Going to Volterra was an absolutely insane trip. I never felt so many people in one room that wanted to kill me. After having us all threatened, facing some assault on Edward’s end, things seemed to be okay. For just a little bit. 

Edward forbade me to see Jacob, never allowing me to go to La Push to hang out with my fun-loving friends. I missed wrestling with Paul, talking about cars with Jake and Embry, and most of all laughing at all the dumbasses with my best friend Leah. I haven’t seen them in months. I missed them all so much.

Jacob, my best friend since childhood. I loved hanging out with him and all of his friends while it lasted. When we were kids, life was great. Before I wasn’t allowed to see them, I had more fun than I ever thought possible. His friends even brought me a great joy, especially one I had grown my surprising crush on. 

My feelings for Edward dwindling by the moment, feeling more like an object than a girlfriend. While I did love him intensely for the beginning of our relationship, his leaving and Volturi stunt created an enormous wedge in the relationship. I was sick of feeling controlled, I was sick of what we had become. I was no longer my own person anymore, every move of mine was watched-- granted it was for my own protection. The way he looks at me is obsessive, I was no longer lustfully blinded. I needed to end my relationship with Edward, I just didn’t know how. Was I bound to be with him forever? Was I bound to become a vampire after the Volturi’s threats? I was no longer sure. One thing I knew for certain, I was no longer in love with Edward for months. Something had to give. 

I got up, looking at the clock next to my bed. Seeing it to be 10:00. I decided that I could do whatever I wanted to do. I was my own person, I could do what I wanted. 

I walk out my front door and go to start my car, only for it not to work. 

I try again, and no avail. 

I heard a thump and suddenly Edward is next to me in my car.

“Please, it isn’t safe.” He murmurs. 

“They would never hurt me. Wait, did you do this to my car?” I ask, getting louder by the second.

“I’m just trying to prot-”

“You are not trying to protect me. You’re controlling me!” I interrupt him. 

“(Y/N), I can’t handle not knowing where you are. I need to know what you’re doing, I can’t protect you there.” He says in a disheveled tone. 

“Edward, you don’t need to. They’ll protect me, none of them would ever hurt me. Ever. Matter of fact, they never up and left me when an inconvenience occurs. None of them try to control every single thing I do. They respect me as my own person. I’m not an object to them.” 

“(Y/N), I love you.” He whispers. 

“Don’t keep doing this to me. I can’t handle this anymore. This… this is too much. You took it too far. You don’t love me, this isn’t love.” I whisper. 

“Don’t say that, you know I only do this to protect you.” 

“You’re manipulating me! I haven’t been allowed to contact my friends for months. I haven’t been able to see anyone except for you and who you let me. I don’t want this. I don’t want you anymore. This isn’t love, this isn’t what I fell in love with.” I say powerfully. 

“(Y/N), I can change.” 

“No, you can’t. You won’t. You’ve said that before, you don’t mean it. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to.” I look into his eyes sternly, watching his eyes fill with rage, though his face mimicking one of despair. 

“(Y/N), I won’t leave unless you tell me to.” He begs. 

“Leave, Edward. Don’t come back.” I whisper. 

He nods his head angrily. 

“Don’t be surprised if you never see me again. I don’t even know why you ever came to Volterra to save me.” He spits, walking out of my car. 

I lay my head against the steering wheel, finally feeling free. 

Free to do what I want. I am myself once again. 

I get out of my car, shaking slightly, and walk over to the front of my car. 

I lift up the hood and see that Edward simply disconnected the battery. 

“What an asshole.” I mutter to myself. 

I connect the battery, thanking all the time I’ve spent in Jacob’s garage for teaching me more about cars than I ever thought I would care to know. 

I got back into my car and drove to Sam Uley’s, knowing that I would be guaranteed to find some of the pack there, if not all of them. 

I get out of my car and begin walking to the small house, hoping to see any of them. 

I knock on the door, seeing the light peek through the door window. 

Emily opens the door, smiling at me. 

“Long time, no see.” 

“I missed you guys.” My lip begins to quiver. 

“Oh honey, come in.” She pulls me into the house, wrapping me in a tight hug. 

I begin to sob, not realizing nor caring who else was in the room. 

“(Y/N), what happened? Is everything okay?” Seth asks, running up to me. 

I look into his warm brown eyes, nodding. 

“Now it is. I feel so free. I miss you all so much.” I sob, walking into his arms. 

After I pull away, I see Jacob and Paul sitting at the table, stunned at my appearance. 

I sit down, explaining everything. How Edward kept tabs on everything I did, forbidding me to contact or see them, watching and controlling my every action. How he tried to stop me from coming here by disconnecting my car battery, assuming I wouldn’t know better. 

“I should kill him.” Jacob seethed. 

Paul nodding angrily. 

“I think we should.” He agrees. 

Seth looks down, rubbing circles in my back. 

“Do you think he’s going to come back for you?” Seth asks me.

“No, I don’t think so. I’m more worried about the Volturi. But I don’t know if they would simply kill them instead of me, I don’t know.” 

“Well, you have us. We won’t let anything happen to you.” Paul puts a warm, comforting hand on my shoulder. 

Emily brings me over a cup of hot chocolate, sitting beside me. 

“We’ll have to tell Sam when he gets back from patrol with the rest of the pack.” She places her hand over mine at the table. 

“You should stay with us for a while.” Jacob suggests, earning a collective nod from the whole group.

“I can’t wait to see everyone else.” I give a weak smile, earning one mirroring back from the rest of the group. 

“I know, we all missed the hell out of you. We were wondering what happened, but we couldn’t check on you with them around.” Jacob says. 

“They’ll probably leave again.” Emily suggests. 

And while I would miss Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle-- I knew it was what was for the best. I felt like this was my first breath of fresh air after drowning for months on end. 

Suddenly, the door opens and all of us turn our attention to those walking in. 

I look and see Sam, Quil, Jared, and Leah walking into the house. 

I observed all of their shocked, yet excited faces… until my eyes met Leah’s.

I felt all of the air leave my lungs, the world stopped spinning around me. 

If this meant what I thought it did, then my childhood crush had just imprinted on me. 

“Hey. It’s been forever.” I breathe out, a small smile forming on my lips. 

Leah looked like she had just seen a ghost, her mouth slightly agape. 

“Hey. I missed you.” She smiles. 

Quil looks between us with wide eyes, smiling like a maniac. 

It happened, this is what was supposed to happen. Things finally made sense. 

Jacob, who always knew about my feelings for Leah, smiled to himself. Low and behold, he had also known about Leah’s feelings for me that she had been hiding for quite some time, herself. 

“I missed you, too.” 

________________________

Word Count: 1899

[khaleesiofalicante]

CIRLCE WEEK - Robert Lightwood

Robert grabbed himself some coffee in one of those beige paper cups. It tasted absolutely awful. But he wasn’t here for the coffee.

He found the usual dingy smell welcoming. The background noise of other people chatting aimlessly about their mundane lives was not bad either.

These were people who Robert wouldn’t have thought he would relate to on any possible level. One of them was worked in an insurance company. The other was worked in a coffee shop called sunbucks.

One of them was even called Blaze.

Robert sat down in his regular spot, the one closest to the exit. He always sat in a corner. He never engaged. That was his only rule.

He knew the whole point was to engage. But he wasn’t there yet.

For now, he just listened.

And he scared him how much people could learn if they simply listened to each other.

Mudanes were not like shadowhunters, Robert thought. They liked to share. Overshare even. Why else would anyone want to sit in a circle and talk about how they feel?

“Hi everyone! My name is Phil!” someone said in front of the room.

“Hello, Phil!” Robert chanted with the rest of them.

And Phil started talking. Sharing.

He talked about his daughter Jean – who apparently was going through a phase. She had gotten married to her ‘close friend’ Abby last month. 

Robert didn’t really get why.

But he supposed it didn’t matter. He wasn’t here for Jean.

He was here for Alec.

The meeting went on. With every parent talking about their children. They called them words Robert didn’t understand. But he gathered enough to realize they weren’t nice.

“I just don’t want her to ruin her future,” Jean’s father was saying now. “She doesn’t get it. I love her. I’m saying all of this because I love her.”

Robert could relate to that.

His biggest fear during all of this had been the fact that Alec might end up thinking Robert hated his own son.

Robert could never. Not even if he tried.

He didn’t hate Alec. He was worried. He was worry about his future.

Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do?

“Jean is such a people’s person, you know? She loves being the favorite person in the room. She once baked cookies during Christmas and gave it to the entire neighborhood,” Phil chuckled, reliving the fond memory. “But now…People barely want to talk to her. She says it doesn’t matter. How could it not? How could what other people think of her not matter anymore? Just like that?”

Robert nodded. Alec had been angry. He had been disappointed that Robert wasn’t more supportive of his relationship with Magnus.

But Robert couldn’t help but wonder if Alec worried about the opinions of others. What about the Clave? Surely, he must be worried about what the Clave thought?

“You see, she went to Havard,” Phil went on. “Graduated top of her class. Now she…I don’t know. Who would want to work with someone like that?”

And there was that.

Alec wasn’t like Jace or Isabelle. Robert had always known.

Alec was not just a fighter – he was a leader.

He had seen it in the way he always had his siblings’ backs while they trained. He had seen it in the way Alec always took the blame when one of Jace’s pranks went wrong. He had seen it the way Alec had kept it together for the sake of the family during Max’s passing.

He was destined for greatness and he was throwing it all away.

As Phil finished talking about Jean and some other parent got up to talk about their child, Robert wondered if these discussions made any difference.

He had come because Maryse had asked him to. He had felt obligated to do as she told after everything that had transpired between the two of them.

But he got a feeling that he shouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to.

Of course Maryse would be disappointed. He knew he would learn more if he stayed or came back for one more but oh well....

So, at the end of the meeting, Robert slipped out - quietly and alone as he usually did.  

It was raining outside the building and Robert didn’t have an umbrella.

He chuckled to himself, remembering the time Alec had believed umbrellas were actually from a hell dimension and therefore needed to be cut off swiftly with a seraph blade.

“What a load of crap, right?”

Robert looked up to see Blaze standing next to him, seeking shelter from the rain next to Robert.

“Pardon?” Robert asked.

“Inside,” the man gestured with his head. “What the pastor was saying. Some horseshit about god making all of us in his likeness. I say send them all away to some camp where they will learn how to be real men!”

“What about the women?” Robert asked.

“Huh?” the man grunted.

“The women,” Robert repeated. “The women who…you know. Like Jean.”

“Oh,” the man blinked, as if he hadn’t thought about what would happen to the women at all. “Should just marry them all off. All they need is some good dicking.”

Robert flinched.

“I know I know,” the man put up his hands. “You’re wondering why I’m here if I’m against it, huh? Well, basically my dumb wife wouldn’t give me my allowance unless I “make an effort”.

“Oh,” Robert said.

“I know,” the man nodded sadly. “You know. I loved my daughter.”

“Loved?” Robert echoed in concern. “Is she alright?”

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t say so,” the man grumbled. “Named her Marcella after my mom, you see? She was such a beautiful girl. Could have been one of them movie stars.”

“What happened to her?” Robert asked.

“Him,” the man said quietly. “I’m supposed to call her ‘him’ now. Can you believe this shit? Telling me how to call my own daughter? I fucking named the bitch.”

Robert honestly didn’t know what to say. This was…different.

He had one rule during these meetings. Do not engage.

“So, what’s wrong with your kid?” the man asked, puffing on his cigarette.

“Nothing is wrong with my kid!” Robert said defensively.

He believed what he said. Robert could believe whatever he wanted. But he knew that nothing was wrong with Alec. He was his perfect boy.

“Well, something must be wrong,” the man shrugged. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

“I’m here because I want to learn,” Robert said through gritted teeth. “I want to try.”

The man snorted. “Well, good fucking luck with that.”

Robert couldn’t tolerate it anymore. He pulled up his coat to cover his head and started walking towards the institute.

“Hey, man!” Blaze ran up after him, his blonde hair already drenched.

Robert halted. He should get rid of him. He can’t be falling him all the way to the institute.

“Listen man, I didn’t mean all that about your kid. I’m sorry, okay,” the man patted him on the back. “Maybe your kid is not fucked up. Maybe mine is the messed up one.”

“Marcella is not messed up,” Robert said. “She needs h-”

“Michael,” the man interrupted. “She goes by Michael now. Or he. Whatever, man. This shit is too hard to keep up with anyway.”

Robert didn’t know what came over him. One moment his hand was clutching on his coat, the next he slammed the man against the alley wall and held his dagger to his throat.

“What the fuck, man?” the man yelled, but it only came out as a quivering whisper. “Put that thing away. Y’all well-dressed people carrying around knives in your expensive coats. You’re crazy!”

This was highly inappropriate. The clave would have his head if they knew. But Robert didn’t hesitate. Not even for a moment. He moved the dagger closer, until it was touching the blonde man’s neck so he could feel the coolness of the metal on his skin.

“Be nice to Michael,” Robert said. “Or I will find you.”

“Listen asshole, who do you think you ar-”

Robert shoved him harder and whipped out a seraph blade – which really got the other man’s attention.

“Alright! Alright!” he put up his hands. “I’ll be nice. I’ll even buy those binder things she was asking for.”

“He,” Robert pointed out.

“He,” the man nodded with a whimper. “Just let me go please.”

Robert let go of him and the man ran towards the main road calling Robert a ‘fucking psycho ninja’.

Robert knew he shouldn’t have done that. But some part of him told him that he had done something nice.

Some part of him told him that he had shown a kindness to that young boy – something he only wished others would show Alec.

Robert pulled up his coat again and kept walking.

Maybe one more meeting next week wouldn’t hurt, would it? They had coffee after all.

[chubbyreaderchan]

Hero |  Bo Sinclair x Reader

MAJOR WARNINGS!!!: Contains mention of abuse, sex trafficking and lots of other triggering topics. Please do not read if you cannot handle such things. This will also very obviously have at least mild gore because it is literal serial killers! You have been warned. 

Summery: Bo and his brothers accidentally saves a girl from a sex trafficking ring. Instead of murdering her, they allow her to stay in Ambrose. Bo doesn’t expect to fall in love with her, especially since she clings to him and relies on him for comfort. 

(Y/n) sat in the front seat of the truck. She was the last to be delivered to a very rich man in New York. Tears streamed down her dirty face. Honestly, she just wanted to go home. She wanted to run away but she knew she didn’t have a chance, especially with her hands cuffed to the seat she was in. The man next to her very rarely spoke. Silent until she did something he didn’t like. She was bruised and uncomfortable, tired. But she didn’t want to sleep. She never wanted to risk it. He was pretty handsy, despite knowing his boss would kill him since the buyer wanted an “untouched” lady. 

Her stomach churned. She wanted to vomit. The vehicle was extremely hot as they drove through the middle of no where. The sun was sinking down and his truck puttered and made a strange noise. The truck was slowing down, practically crawling. He cursed annoyed and pulled off the side of the road. He tossed a blanket over her to hide her while he got out of the vehicle. He opened the hood and looked it over. He was city boy and had never actually fixed a truck before. He cursed and pulled out his phone. 

“My damn truck is a piece of shit...” He shouted, she stayed low as to not get the brunt of it. He kicked the tire on the truck arguing now. (Y/n) wished she wasn’t stuck in the truck or else she would make a run for it. She tugged at the chains and cursed softly. 

How long will she be here? 

She didn’t know. However, a tinge of hope built up in her chest when bright headlights came over the hill. It was a beat up truck with deer hooves hanging on the mirror. A scrawny man walked out. Her captor cursed again and moved to shove her down further to hide her. She winced as her wrist was tugged, pinched and slightly cut by the cuffs. “Ya need some help, buddy?” The happy looking guy spoke. 

“My truck is being a piece of shit.. I don’t know shit about it.” The scrawny man looked at the truck. “Ya ain’t far from Ambrose. My brother works there and he’s pretty good at fixin’ cars. He’s pretty cheap too.” The man whose name she never got cursed again and looked at his watch. If he didn’t the delivery would be late. If he was careful maybe he could get away with it. “Fine.”

“I can tow it.” He said with a bright smile on his face. “Unless you think it could make it.” 

“No, it should be fine.” Towing would be really risky. He climbed back into the truck and covered her more. He whispered to her harshly. “If you say a damn thing I will kill you” He flipped on the vehicle. It groaned to a start, whizzing as they drove to the small and strangely empty town. It was eerily quiet, but perhaps that was just because it was so late. It was a small town, the rules were different. 

“I gotta go get ‘im” The thin man, now known as Lester stated. “He don’t like people going into his gas station when he’s not there though.” He looked a little nervous. He was going to have to wake up his brother who honestly didn’t take things well. But it was a new tourist! He drove off and (Y/n) stayed down, softly sobbing. She was so close to being saved and yet so far. As soon as the damn truck was fixed she would be off to New York to be abused by some rich asshole. “Shut the fuck up” he whispered once Lester was gone. “I don’t care how rich the bastard is. I will fuck you up if you make any more noises” This time he had a pocket knife in his hand. He slid it down her cheek, leaving a burning trail of blood. “Don’t test me, bitch!” That’s when a broad shouldered dark haired man in a blue truck finally arrived. He looked tired, like he was just woken up. Most likely was. (Y/n) only got a glance of him, but despite his grumpy looking face he was handsome. It was a strange thing to think at a time like this but what else could she do? Her mind wasn’t exactly the healthiest at the moment. 

Now she could hardly hear them as they went into his gas station. She pulled again at the chains hoping for some weakness anywhere. It only cut into her wrists more. Blood dripped down them and she cried in pain, frustrated from her whole situation. Her sobs were as silent as they could be. 

“You know, you can use the facilities at the house. Lester can take ya so I can get to work.” The man nodded as he was lead off by the scrawny man. He left reluctantly. He was hoping the gas station had a bathroom but they were insistent for some reason he found suspect. Once in the house he found himself in a room alone. Or so he thought. After washing his hands, his eyes lifted to see a frozen masked man. He screamed when he felt a pair of scissors go into his ribs. The man screamed in pain pushing the masked man away and slamming out of the locked door back into the main parts of the house.

Meanwhile, Bo was digging in the truck. He pulled out different parts tiredly. Honestly, he wished he could go back to bed but wanted to get some of the easier things out of the vehicle while Vincent his brother was taking care of the tourist. All for one tourist. That kind of pissed Bo off but was to tired to go yell at his brother. He’d do it in the morning. Bo stretched and moved to open the door to the truck grabbing anything that seemed like it was useful. Then he noticed the blanket. It was unusually shaped. He frowned, grabbing it and pulling it. 

Bo’s face was filled with surprise at the pretty girl crouched down in the floor boards, crying. Her hair was dirty and hardly had any clothes on her body. His eyes trailed to the cut on her face then up to her wrists. He cringed, thinking of his own experiences as a kid. 

“Well, I’ll be. That man is just as much of a bastard as we are.” Her eyes widened at that. What did that mean? She sobbed softly, Bo’s blue eyes looked at her with a bit of concern. She was just another to be added to Vincent’s collection... yet. Something about her made him feel awful at the idea. She was already scared and probably seen some shit just as bad as what went on in this town. It also didn’t help that she was exactly his type, if he was honest. Vincent can go fuck himself. 

He walked back into a garage, grabbing some cutters. With a bit of force he broke the handcuffs. Two more cuts and she was completely free. “Come on, darlin’” He was shocked by what happened next. She threw her arms around him, clinging to him like a koala. “It’s alright. I got ya” This was strange. Normally they would run from him. 

“Come on. Let me clean you up.” He carried her into the garage, instead of taking her down stairs to his own fun chamber, he sat her on his metal work bench. He had a small first aid kit and began attending to her wounds. Bo was never this gentle to anyone is his life, but here he was. He knew pain like that oh so well. He knew exactly how to care for it. “There. No more tears, sweetheart. Someone as pretty as you shouldn’t be cryin’“ He tried to lighten the mood. “Come here.” He walked off and grabbed a set of coveralls. She was practically naked and honestly though she could use a bit of extra comfort. “You can wear this. It’s a bit dirty but...” He shrugged. (Y/n) took it shakily, not minding him there while she slipped it on. It fit well enough, smelled like cigarettes and motor oil but it was alright. It was better than the sickly peppery smell of the man delivering her to New York. 

“Fucking shit!” Speaking of, there he was walking into the garage. “You little bitch fucking escaped. Get in damn truck, you stupid slut.” He began to advance stupidly forward. Bo stood between her and the man. “You aren’t going to take her, man.” Bo grabbed a heavy tool off the bench. “She’s going to stay right here in Ambrose,” The man grunted and lunged at Bo, only for Bo to bash him in the skull. Fuck that guy. Vincent will just have to get over it. He continued to bash him until he was a barely twitching pile of shit. When Bo looked up he saw Vincent in the drive way. “I’ll get you two new tourists, Vincent. Just let me take care of this one!” Vincent obviously said nothing. A nod. That’s all. He wondered in deeper towards (Y/n). She didn’t seemed phased by either the gore or the strange man touching her cut cheek. “It ain’t too deep.” Bo told his brother, joining them rubbing the blood off his hands. Vincent nodded again and moved to grab the body of the man to take him up to the House of Wax. 

Then she did it again. Ignoring the blood, she reached forward and hugged Bo tight. 

“Thank you, your my hero...” She sobbed. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re safe here.” He held her tightly against him. “What’s your name, little lady?” “(Y/n)”

“I’m Bo. You can stay with me, alright? I’ll take care of you” He said softly, brushing his fingers on her cheek as she cried again. What the hell was he getting himself into? 

[dracosearlgreytea]

indelicate marks (4)

indelicate marks: chapter four - the proposal 

A/N: hi guys hope you’re all doing okay with everything going on right now. i also hope you’re ready for some angst very soon because oH boY you’re in for it. thanks again for the support and ill see you soon :) - ivy 

warnings: language, tEnSiOn

lovely tags: @h-annahayy @okaydraco @fanficflaneuse

indelicate marks index

You'd gone invisible again. And Draco, much to his annoyance, noticed this time more than ever. He'd begun to associate you with a very odd feeling - a mixture of dread, pity and guilt. It was a feeling that clouded his thoughts for days after he'd last met you in the bathroom, and it kept him avoiding going to see Myrtle as much as his panic attacks allowed him to. Because, as much as he tried to, he couldn't shake that awful, burning sensation from your memory. It was already familiar to him, yes, but the screaming played like white noise in any moment of silence, and waves of nausea would flood through him when he recalled Bellatrix Lestrange's harrowing eyes. Somehow, hearing someone else's pain was a lot worse than hearing his own, especially in his dreams. Yet, whilst he felt as though he should speak to you, he found himself steering clear of you as much as physically possible. Draco despised the guilt you made him feel - as though he owed you an apology, or something.   But, even avoiding you proved difficult. Seeing as he was never sure where you actually were. Draco tried to take note of where you sat in classes, but you were always writing, head down, and half the time he wasn't even sure if it was you. Rare occasions in which you, or he, for that matter, showed up the Great Hall never seemed to coincide. You were making the entire situation very bloody exhausting. Autumn had started to brown the leaves of the Whomping Willow before he saw you again.   He couldn't deny that the bags under his eyes had become more prominent over the weeks. Face hollowing, his clothes were feeling a lot looser than they had done before. If he wasn't in classes, he was in the Room of Requirement, muttering to himself as he tried - and failed - to repair the Vanishing Cabinet. To make matters worse, he was also gradually becoming immune to the Sleeping Draught that Snape supplied him with. But plotting any means of completing his mission left little room for any other thoughts. It kept him up until the very early hours of the morning, trying to banish memories of summer from his mind. Draco felt at his wits end - and at this point, a little bit stir-crazy. He'd come to the bathrooms in hopes of talking to Myrtle, wanting to voice the plans that went round and round in his mind. Maybe they would make more sense, he guessed, if someone else heard them. His hopes, however, were diminished the moment he pushed open the door. You were sat on the edge of the sinks, swinging your legs as you mumbled to Myrtle. Draco's chest tightened as the ghost let out a shriek at the sight of him in the doorway, shooting off into the pluming. Turning to face him, your wand tightened in your grip, once hanging loosely from your hands. Fucking hell, is she always here? He stared back at you, expression blank, as you searched him. In fact, you didn't seem all that phased, not bothering to move from the sink. He wasn't sure what he should say, or if he should even stay, for that matter.   "Let's not make this a habit," You muttered, before he could leave, features stony. "I'm not attempting to." Draco shot back, ignoring the scoff that came from you. "You're the one that seems to haunt this bathroom more than Myrtle bloody does." You scowled, but remained silent, staring down at your lap. He slipped his hands into his pockets, unsure if he should bring up your last meeting, but he supposed it would be best to clarify your intentions whilst you were sat in front of him. "Should I be expecting a visit from the Ministry anytime soon?" Frowning, confusion flickered amongst your features for a moment. Then, you shot him a quick glance, hinted with disbelief. "I told you." You said, tone empty. "You can trust me." Despite the unease that melted away from him, he sneered. "I can hardly trust someone who's Occlumency is that shit." You tensed, before pushing yourself off of the sinks and rounding on him, wand tight in your grip. Eyes hard, and accusatory, you glowered. "What's that supposed to mean?" Your glare flicked up and down his body, finally taking in his appearance properly for the first time since he came in. He shifted under your inspection, uncomfortable with the way your features pulled in, as though you were judging him. Raising an eyebrow, you spoke again, abandoning whatever words you were about to hurtle at him. "Bloody hell, what happened to you?" "What happened to you?" Draco narrowed his eyes, eager to have the focus off him. But, he had already noted how ill you looked compared to the last time he saw you. If you passed out there and then, he wouldn't have been surprised. You blinked, throwing him a glare. "Why do you care?" "Why do you?" Draco countered, raising an eyebrow lazily. You frowned, but stayed silent. He pushed again. "So it hasn't got anything to do with the fact that my convict of aunt came to visit, then?" You stiffened, eyes glazing. A bitter regret pinched at his gut. Why was he even still stood there? He should have left as soon as he saw you in the room - plus, he knew you weren't going to tell anyone for sure now. But then, you recovered, fixing Draco with a look that he wasn't sure how to take, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively. "What happens in my personal life isn't of your concern, Malfoy." "Back to Malfoy, are we?" He deadpanned, prompting you to grimace. "Maybe you should have thought about that before invading my personal life." It didn't take long for frustration to take over your indistinct features, glaring at him with a clenched jaw. "You're the one that decided to practice Legilimency on me!" You spat. His lips pulled into a light scowl. "And I've told you, I'm not going to tell anyone, so can you please stop tormenting me now?" Draco hesitated. He was reluctant to just leave you walking round knowing a secret that could get him killed. Yes - the chances of you telling anyone was unlikely, and yes - it was doubtful that anyone would try and find out through Legilimency. But the idea of exposure had made his anxieties so much worse over the past few weeks. He was willing to do almost anything to get them to calm down, even in the slightest. If he could just get a decent bloody nights sleep... He sighed. "If you're going to know, you'll need to learn better Occlumency." You froze. Before, you had been acting rather restrained - as though you were unsure of how you should act around him, other than maybe a little pissed off by his remarks. Your expression now, however, had dissipated into a very genuine dread. "What?" "I can't risk you knowing unless you can keep people out." He paused, watching your reaction carefully. "Which, clearly, you can't." You scoffed. "My Occlumency is perfectly fine, I'll have you know." Face dead set, Draco raised his eyebrows and you sighed, defeated. "Fine. If you're that bloody bothered. I'll talk to Snape." Panic and a hint of anger flashed through Draco at your implication, and he jumped forward, instinctively taking a few strides towards you. "No!" He hissed, only to freeze when you pulled back. Your breathing hitched, staring at him with panicked, wide eyes. Clearly, you hadn't forgiven him for the last time he lost control over his actions. Swallowing, he took a breath, clearing his mind. "No. Don't talk to Snape. Who taught you last time?"   Eyes clouding, you studied him again - prompting that uncomfortable feeling in his gut. Something about the way you looked at him made him feel utterly too conscious of himself. Never before in his life had he felt so self-aware, and hated it. But then, your eyes became avoidant. You threw him an uncertain glance as your eyebrows flicked up, lips pulled into a bitter, half-smile. "My parents." Ah. Draco was aware that at some point, your parents had managed to escape Azkaban. After the whole exposure of Deatheaters, including his father, at the Ministry, he wasn't sure if they were caught a second time, or if they had even been there at all. Though, it was unlikely that they hadn't been there, being some of the more avid supporters of the Dark Lord. He could recall recognising a surname amongst his in the Daily Prophet, too. Honestly, he hadn't considered it that much. Now, standing in front of their daughter, he wished he had.   "That's what I thought." You mumbled, having noticed the pause in his demeanour. Draco stared at you, debating his options. After what he'd seen in your memory, he was pretty much certain that you talking to Potter was out of the question. This wasn't, however, something he could risk. It wasn't exactly some petty secret that could cause a scandal if it got out between students, no. Keeping Dumbledore - and anyone else with the ability to use Legilimency on the opposing side, for that matter - unaware, was the utmost priority. Even if it meant having to give someone he'd spoken to a handful of times Occlumency lessons. He let out a particularly heavy sigh. "Fine. I'll bloody teach you, but for one hour a week at most. I do not have time-" "Wait, wait, wait." You shook your head, staring at him in disbelief. Draco flicked his eyebrow upward. Struggling to get your words out, you continued to look at him, horrified, prompting him to let out an impatient growl.   "What? "You - You want to teach me Occlumency?" The expression on your face could have been laughable. Eyebrows drawn in, mouth agape - as though he had suggested trying to poison a Potions Master. Rolling his eyes, he begun to wish he hadn't suggested anything. Draco only fixed you with a very bored look. "I wouldn't say I want to, but yes." Your stare continued for a minute longer, beginning to annoy him to no bloody end. There was a hint of discomfort in your look that almost made him feel annoyingly guilty - but he pushed it away. Instead, you only sighed, frowning with a shake of the head. "Fine. When?" "Thursday, 6 o'clock. At the abandoned classroom on the third floor." Crossing your arms, you gave him a singular nod, expression absent. "Okay." Draco continued to search your face, unconvinced by your uncertainty. He would have missed it if he wasn't looking so carefully. Your lips sent him that twitch he remembered so well. A promise. You can trust me. Without a word, Draco turned away from you, but not before capturing the feeling you left him with, tucking it away deep inside him for the rest of the week.

[neoistic]

what's going on with STAYs?

the hyunjin (and woojin) situation - a (very long) rant

DISCLAIMER : This post was not meant to slander Hwang Hyunjin or Stray Kids, it is intended to educate others on their problematic behaviour.

I'm gonna start at the beginning of all this. So unless you a.) live under a rock or b.) unlike the rest of us you have a life, then you have possibly heard of the idol bullying scandals. If you dont know what that is, I'll give a brief summary. A bunch of idols were being accused by former middle school or high school classmates of bullying. It started with Soojin of (G)I-dle and then the whole thing started rippling. Aisha of Everglow, Kihyun of MonstaX, Mingyu of SEVENTEEN, and many more. It's even gone as far as SA allegations. Basically everyone and their mothers were being dragged into the mess. However some of these accusation were later to be proven as false. Others have been somewhat half-true. The point is the majority of these idols end up going on a hiatus and stopped contributing in their groups activities for a while. It was a very frustrating situation. There's been apologies, addresses, fights occurring left and right. While these idols were being accused, everybody was like "let's wait for the official statement from the comany and see what is up, and then we make our decision from there. So for now lets stay our best to be neutral". That was the norm for a majority of fandoms. And then there were STAYs.

_____________________________________________________________ I think we've learned in the last five months that STAYs are anything but a normal fandom. After what has happened and the way they chose to behave entirely was embarassing. I feel like toxic STAYs really ruined the name of this fandom when the Woojin situation happened. But after Hyunjin was accused of bullying, they pretty much just shredded any redeeming qualities that fandom had left—all of it—everything went down the drain. Soon enough I feel like people are going to be embarassed to become a STAY or to mention that they're a STAY, because those motherfuckers really screwed this up If some of you're really confused right now, as to why I called STAYs toxic. It's because the base of this fandom is pretty privilege. Ok, let's start with the definition. What is pretty privilege? Pretty privilege is the principle that people who are deemed more attractive (based on societal beauty standards) have an upper hand in the world and are afforded many opportunities that us regular folks don't have. Like most other biases, pretty privilege is something we're all aware of—whether we have experienced it first-hand or not. Yet, it's not often that we are willing to admit or even talk about it, especially if we're on the receiving end of its benefits. This bias, also known as lookism, is defined as “Prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's appearance” and occurs in a variety of settings such as social environments, workplaces and especially in this godforsaken fandom. Let me explain; everything that they do for the boys is simply based on looks. And how do i know that? Because when the baseless accusations that targeted woojin came out one of the things that i kept hearing over and over again was that they always thought he was 'ugly'. And that to me is very intersting because this fandom found him ugly but they didn't say anything, because he was in the same group as their faves. So they kept their mouths shut, and they acted as if they loved him they told him all the sappy bullshit. When he left they decided to pull an "Okay let's tell him how much we miss him, then dump it, and leave it there."

Consequently by cause of his so called 'wrongdoings' you're now telling people "Oh I found him ugly all along, but now I can finally admit it" which is an incredibly pathetic move. They were throwing shit everywhere based off unsubstantiated allegations. Through this I realised that everything goes down to looks. Because when this exact same thing happened to Hyunjin and his accusations, which at the time we did not know the legitimacy of it, the first thing they chose to tweet was"uhmm hyunjin is too cute to be a bully," say what now? You wanted to tell me you decide whether someone is capable of bullying based on their looks, how is that supposed work. Not everybody's heart is as beautiful as their face, I'm just saying. Like why on earth would you think that Hyunjin isn't a bully based on the fact that he's handsome but you believe the accusation about Woojin based off the fact that he is quote 'ugly'. You see the parallel difference between their behaviour towards them and that's because all they care about is looks and they will do just about anything to garner the attention of these boys. Yes, you're right, the reason behind their doings is because they know pefectly well that Stray Kids read their comment. Their defending them because they are desperately wanting their faves to pay attention to them. And they think by letting Hyunjin get away with everything, he would thank them for it.

_____________________________________________________________

Exhibit B; When the posts against Woojin came out the very first thing they told us was that, you have to believe the victim no matter what. It got to the point where even when we tried to reason with them about how there was no solid evidence, all they said was how they would rather believe a possible liar then a possible r4pist. ikr, oh. my. gosh. However when it's Hyunjin's turn to get blamed, believing the victim doesn't matter anymore. The actuality that people were already putting a judgement on the victim, and refusing to hear them out is just shocking to me.

The energy was completely different, for some crazy reason it didn't matter when it came to Hyunjin. When it came to Woojin we had to believe the victim because it's so damn important, and it got to the point that people were saying they believed Stray Kids that he 'bullied' them. Although Stray Kids didn't say anything, they never said a peep, a word, nothing. Everyone kept saying I believe Felix saying #8, i believe Chan and his vlive, are you for real? First of all what is Felix supposed to say then?? The group has 8 members not nine, is he supposed to put #9 in? #13? #24?? And with Chan he has already clarified that his statement on vlive that time wasn't about Woojin.

Then they were diagnosing them them of depression they were victimizing the poor boys of something they were not a victim of. So not are they speaking for them, they're telling us that you believe them off what you've stuff in their mouths, not things they said themsleves. On the other hand when Hyunjin was accused of bullying no we don't believe them we believe Hyunjin. What? Do you know him personally or what? You dont! I don't know what's the matter with you people. This fandom is just a no. You guys are left with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Then you know what it gets even worse because if you think this is bad. It's not even half of it. How does it get worse? They were people saying that "It's bullying, its normal everybody does it," I don't know what universe you live in, but where I live down here, on earth bullying isn't something that everybody comes around and do. It's not a phase in life. "From ages 15-20 you're a bully" That doesn't happen it's not a chapter in life that everyone goes through like puberty, that's not what happens with bullying. You dont just wake up and go through a phase in you life that is inevitable, that you have to be a bully and a jerk to everybody, that's not a thing. You can't just sit here and justify bullying. Because how are you supposed to sit here and say that bullying is normal and that everybody does but when Woojin does it... You see where I'm going with this right? They said it wasn't okay for Woojin to bully Stray Kids and that he is a horrible person "how could he?" But then you bend over and said "Bullying is okay because Hyunjin is the one doing it" When he is on the receiving end it wasn't okay, though when he was the one administering it was completely fine and forgivable.

Do you not see how problematic you're being right now? You're justifying bullying because you think he's pretty? Are you playing with me? I read his statement and he apologized for his immature and insensitive demeanor, even he wasn't justifying it. the reason behind me mentioning this is because even JYP themselves specified that they would do a better job at picking trainees. That alone says something. They forthrightly threw him under the bus. Why would they do something like that? Because the allegations were true. Here's the thing, Hyunjin has not admitted to bullying anybody, what he has admitted to was being immature and hurting people with the way he spoke. That statement felt like he was beating around the bush about a lot of things. It's like "ok i hurt someone, I can't justify it, therefore I'm sorry" Okay but did u bully anybody? yes or no? That wasn't clarified. You guys can decide for your selves, but this was Hyunjin's and his former teacher's statement.

_____________________________________________________________

The message I'm trying to get accross from all this is that Stray Kids have way more power over you than you realized, and that is definitely not okay. To the point where you are throwing your morals away, just to defend them. You know what? no idol should have influence over you like that. I don't care how good looking, how hot, how sweet, how talented they are. I don't care if they grew up with a single mother and a story so sad it will make Simon Cowell cry. I don't care how many time they have supported the lgbtq+ community. I don't give a damn about how adorable they act on camera with their members. You can not validate immoral actions whatsoever. And no, you absolutely can not sit here being a desperate, self-absorbed, pick-me, dusty girl for a man who doesn't even know you.

Exhibit C; Before we end this I want to clarify something. STAYs did not became toxic because of the Woojin fiasco, this fandom always was toxic, and the Woojin situation simply revealed that. The facts are that they were always toxic, they were always messed up, they were always fake. The wreckage with Woojin showed us their true colors. That is the reality, my friends. As of now this fandom is directly taking the crown for trashiest fandom alive in kpop. At this degree I honestly don't know what else to say. I have no respect left for them. I do though want to say that I am genuinely sorry to all the kind STAYs, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. Because in the near future I don't see this issue going away. Since Stray Kids is becoming more and more popular and it's never going to stop they're going to keep getting bigger and bigger, the story will just become more aparent. Thank you for listening to my long rant. And at the end of the day all I can say to STAYs is good luck, cause you'll need it.

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anywho stream Still Dream

Sources:

https://www.myimperfectlife.com/features/pretty-privilege

https://www.koreaboo.com/series/stray-kids-hyunjin-bullying-allegation/

[doodles-arts]

You’re not that fast

Pairing: Raphael x reader

Rating?: pg

warnings?: All good here.

word count: 2696

Summary: A scenario where mutants know they’ve found their soulmate when they’re powers or special abilities don’t work on the other soul. How will Raph react to a soulmate, when he first meets her?

A/n: Just realized one of my fav turtles is Raphael and I don’t have a single Fan fic of him! How weird ! well any way, hope you all enjoy and don’t be afriad to reblog

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You ran all around town until you were tired enough to go to bed. A battle cry on a rooftop made you investigate. Speeding over and checking all of the rooftops nearby in under 30 seconds. When you arrived by the rooftop that gave you full access to the fight that resulted in the shout that caught your attention. As you watched, you couldn’t help but want to help. But how would you be able to tell who was the bad guy?

As you watched, you debated in your head which were the good guys and who were the good guys? A debate started in your head.

‘Well, the woman is controlling all of the robot ninjas.’

“Usually controlling is a bad trait…’

‘But she does smile kinda evil like…’

‘Doesn’t exactly mean that she’s the bad guy.’

‘The four mutant turtles- by the way, I’ve seen a lot of weird things but that’s new- were destroying the robots. That doesn’t mean that they are evil.’

‘The woman is wearing silver, all black with black makeup. Evil?’

Just as one of the turtles attacked the silver wearing lady, pretty quickly might you add, she swiped his katana away and before he could pull out his other one, she held him in a chokehold. As she held him, what she said next was a clear indication, she was the bad guy.

‘Bummer’

‘She’s gonna kill him, we’ve gotta do something!’

‘Pretty cool how fast she did that’

“Now I can finally kill you one. By. One. Starting with you Leonardo.” As she pressed her blade into his neck, ‘guess that’s my cue!’ You rushed over and jumped over the rooftop, stealing the blade and running off. They all looked around for you, too fast to have seen you come by and leave. You threw it down a dumpster chute and ran back to watch from a distance.

Except for Raph of course, he saw you take the blade and runoff, but when he tried to move, everything was slowed down, and couldn’t move at normal speed. He couldn’t comprehend what just happened. But he saw you leave and the direction you left towards too, He watched you run across the rooftop and jump to the one he was on and send a sucker punch to Karai’s face. He still could not move at normal speed, however, and watched as you run behind her and kicked her from behind, causing her to let go and Leo. As you ran behind him and his brothers, his body was back to speed and he and his brothers rushed forward to grab Leo and attack Karai away from him.

As she retreated instead of fighting back, she growled and jumped off the ledge of the building, they ran over and watched as a half-broken robot grabbed her and swung her away and followed as they ran deeper into the cities rooftop. “What the hell was that…”, the boys looked at each other. Raph cleared his throat while staring at you. You waved sheepishly and walked forward slowly to them. Not showing them your powers just. What caught you off guard was what the turtle with the red bandana had said, “how’d you do that, stranger?” You looked around you, wondering how he knew it was you. “Yes. You.” You cleared your throat, unsure of what the hell was happening. No one ever saw you when you were that fast, how was he able to?

“How did you see me?” He rose an eyebrow at you and looked you up and down, “what are you talking about.”

You huffed and explained, “You saw me when I was- well, I was fast, no one ever sees me, unless I want them to see me.” You flashed over towards him, stopping right in front of him. He was unphased like he had seen you, you were sure you had used your powers because his brothers had flinched backward when you had appeared in front of him. This close up him made you taken into consideration the color of his eyes, they were green on reflective…

You flashed backgrounds, back to where you were before he saw you. “I’m supposed to be extremely fast, I can see and feel things differently. No one ever sees me coming, like your little friend from before.” He crossed his arms and smirked at you, “You’re not that fast then, I can see everything you do, but everything turns slow.” You huffed at his first remark, about to prove him wrong before it hit you.

He could see past your power, see past your greatest defense. Could this mean…?

You flashed back towards him, causing the brother in orange to “please, at least warn us!”, a force of habit- and flashed your hand across your face John Cena style and every time that it crossed your face you made a different funny looking one. His teasing laugh after proved that he was the one. After he wiped a tear from his face you placed a gentle hand on his face, looking at him as he studied you.

“Ah.. are we supposed to know what’s going on?...” Donnie commented from the side and broke your spell. Raph took a step backward, showing his straight face again and growled, “don’t start getting any ideas weirdo.” He started walking away, “let’s go guys,” he didn’t want to admit it, but there was something comforting about you. He couldn’t even bring himself to slap your hand away from his face when you had laid it there. He wanted to feel angry, wanted to fight you, to try and feel better about your teasing, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. As his brothers followed, about to head home, you yelled something he wished wouldn’t be true.

“Can’t help it, you know what I’m talking about.” As you sped towards him you added in his ear, “I’ll be seeing you again soon, soulmate.” You had left quick enough that his brothers weren’t able to see you leave. He wished you were playing a cruel joke, just trying to poke fun and he’d never see you again. Don’t get him wrong, he was thankful you had saved Leo, but did it really mean that he had met his soulmate and have to spend the rest of his life with one person like a lost puppy?

~~~ a few weeks later~~

As he and his brothers patrolled the city they decided to briefly separate to give a last look around before heading home together. Raph looked around his designated part of New York, briefly watching for any danger before moving on. He had a pretty uneventful night. As he watched the city over a different post, something in him slowed and then he saw you from the corner of his eye. Shit.

When time returned to normal, he sat down on a ledge and decided to face everything he had been avoiding for the last couple of weeks.

‘Finally, he’s not running.’

‘He’s just scared’

‘He’s just a wuss’

“Shut up already!” you whispered to yourself before you walked over to him.

“Ya’ know, ever since I was little, everything has been so slow. Everyone around me was too slow to see what I could do are keep up.” He felt you as you sat beside him. “Maybe having someone who can see what I do even when I’m using my superspeed is a good thing. That way, someone else can feel what I mean when I try to explain I feel slow when I’m doing things at a normal speed.” You sighed before continuing, “people don’t usually understand me, but maybe you can?...”

He looked over at you, watching as your eyes looked over the city. Your flawless skin reflected against the lights of the city and your plump lips made him look away. He couldn’t help this feeling that took over him whenever you were near. He barely knew you! This was creepy! “I won’t lie, it’s seriously annoying when everything gets slow because you’re stalking me and my brothers-” you chuckled sheepishly, “- but all that talk about, no one understands you, I can hear where you’re coming from. I and my brothers are different and humans, no offense, are insensitive. They fear what they don’t understand.”

You laid a hand on his shoulder, knowing that his woes were far worse than yours. He might be your soulmate, but you still had to get to know him. He deserved your attention. “I know this whole soulmate thing might be a little strange to you, but when I say I can’t help this feeling I have for you I mean it. I can’t help but want to be there for you and when I’m apart from you, I feel like I’ve lost something.” You starred at him, trying your best to ease him into this world where the soulmates existed and loved each other.

You know that he was struggling trying to accept this new feeling, you didn’t know much about him, but as he commented, you did notice a few things about him while stalking him and his brothers. Raphael, that was his full name, he had a short-tempered and had a hard time giving up to others. ‘I am also very competitive, so totally understandable’ He was very protective and loyal, but had testosterone to spare. It was cute though.

“You don’t have to be afraid, a soulmate just means I will be beside you for whatever you need. We don’t have to do anything your not comfortable with. I just want us to get to know each other…”

‘And maybe get a kiss…’

‘Hey! Give the poor boy a break’

‘Yeah, yeah….’

He looked over at you, uneasy, confused. And he was, god this was all so weird. He didn’t want to believe it the first time you said it, or when he confided in Donnie and the genius also agreed, that is was true. After some research, Donnie had found that, usually for mutants who came from half mutant and half-human families, it was a genetic mutation to promote more reproduction, or whatever Donnie mentioned, to have a soul mate. He honestly felt pulled by your beauty, like he was dying to have you close. He felt suffocated. He didn’t want this if it was going to be like this all the time. “Does it always feel like this,” looking down at his hand clenching and shaking towards you.

“Not always, it’s like a puppy phase of a relationship, your body is just getting used to it. At least that’s what my parents told me.” You felt out of it as he stayed quiet and looked away from you.

When he finally spoke, he had your full attention, “I barely know you.” You smiled and laid a hand over his own. “Neither do I. But I’d be honored to get too.” You sat a little closer and waited until he felt a little better.

“My name is (y/n), my mom was a mutant that could read people’s emotions, my dad was a human, she fell for him when she read that his love for her was pure and real. They got married and had me. I lost them, not too long ago, and came to live here with my uncle, on my mom’s side. You have no idea how much we have in common. Ever since then, I’ve just been trying my best to live life to the fullest. At least that what my parents always told me. I get into all kinds of trouble, but I never get caught, so it’s not that bad. And a few weeks ago I met you… I don’t have much to hide, but I promise I won’t hide anything for you.”

He looked over to you once again, feeling a little grateful to your understanding and optimism, and leaned forward, streching for a hug. Before you could hold back and slowly hug back, your powers kicked in and you hugged back in the fraction of a second. It almost knocked the wind out of him- in slow motion- and you pulled back, an apology already in tow.

“It’s hard controlling it sometimes, everything is so slow all the time, so sometimes when I get anxious because of it, my powers try to relieve that by making me do things faster and sometimes I hurt people because of it,” he smirked, the feeling yelling at him to pull you back in. He held out another hand out to you, “then let’s try again until you get it right, then,” you breathed in and slowly reached for him, wrapping your arms around his neck gently.

‘Awww, he’s a sweet one!’

‘And a bad boy’

‘He can’t be that bad… and if he is, how bad can it be?’

His scaly skin felt like it was wrapped in silk when you hugged him, your careful and soft fingers were warm against the back of his neck. His heartbeat was pounding, the smell of you would be a scent he’d never forget. As he hugged you- nothing felt impossible, no one could hurt him emotionally, he’d always have someone to rely on. He didn’t feel alone, and how bad could that be? Because it felt like a dream. Maybe he had overthought this, maybe it wasn’t controlling, maybe it really was faith playing cupid. You didn’t hold him possessively, you held him because he was holding you because you wanted him to hold him. Perhaps this could work, letting his feelings and instincts take over, he felt at home.

He pulled away from your embrace, and for once, everything felt at normal speed. As he looked at you and slowly placed a three-fingered hand under your chin, it didn’t feel as slow as molasses. It was slow but bearable. As he looked at you and you starred at those emerald green eyes, they encaptivated you,

‘Talk about handsome~’

‘No kidding~ *swoon*’

The glimmer in them was making you swoon, god, you never felt this way about anybody. As his eyes closed so did yours. Leaning forward to feel his rough lips against your luscious ones. You took charge in the kiss, however, you needed to feel more of him. As your lips smashed against each other, he quickly caught pace. Following your footsteps and loving every single second of it. The smirk against the kiss made your stomach flutter, you licked at his bottom lip, meekly asking to take it a step further. He let you in, so you could teach him. His wide tongue was slow, exploring what was new.

He was slow with this new kissing stuff, trying to figure out what you liked and what was weird, and so far it seemed to be going well. You were holding his plastron at this point and the leg you had tucked underneath yourself was pushing you up, to have better leverage during the kiss. It made him smirk, it felt better when he was pleasing you. When you felt good, he knew you were holding back and it made his heart feel a certain type of way.

As you both pulled away for the much-needed air you hid your face in the crook of his neck, and the breath you wafted on him from your loss of air had him feeling a buzz. God, you were doing things to him and it wasn’t just the dumb connection from the soulmate thing. “You aren’t so fast…” he teased.

You pulled away to raise an eyebrow at him. “Don’t test me Raph, I like it better when you’re quiet.” He gave you a toothy smile and you felt your stomach’s spring stretch. As you leaned back in.

‘Let’s do it again!’

‘Yeah, that way we can teach him how fast we really are~’

[unremarkable-house]

Polaris by unremarkable_house

The X-Files, MSR, Rain King

Mulder and Scully attend Holman and Sheila's wedding in Kroner, Kansas.

Tagging @today-in-fic

Part One: Mulder and Holman

“Platonic intimacy is the foundation of my relationship with Agent Scully, Holman, and risking physical intimacy affects both parties. I don’t want to take that risk unless we are both willing.” There is a condensation of intent that settles around the patio of the Kroner Prairie View Ballroom and Suites where Fox Mulder and Holman Hardt - weatherman, meteorologic anomaly, crack relationship analyst, and now very newlywed - share their conversation during a small break in the matrimonial festivities.

It is also something Mulder has never admitted out loud, his desire for something more, and he feels the uncomfortable humidity of it fill the blissfully mild Kansas air. Holman has made it vexingly clear that he expects him to dish on the so-called Mulder-and-Scully-relationship while the blushing bride and redheaded FBI agent were otherwise occupied. Apparently, he and his buddy the weather wizard had a special affinity for these kinds of chats.

“Are you really worried that you wouldn’t be compatible in bed with someone who looks like your partner?” Holman is projecting a bit of his newfound sexual confidence with Sheila, but he doubts he’d have any trouble if Agent Scully came to bed instead. Or both. Holman’s eyebrow quirks appreciatively.

Mulder is not worried about his level of attraction to his long-suffering and comely partner, he does get to look at her every day after all, but he is worried that the weight of their traumas could make the next level of intimacy challenging. He didn’t need a degree in psychology from Oxford to figure that out, he need look no further than his own baffling sexual history. Plus, he knows how much energy she puts into maintaining their professional distance, especially since Antarctica. And Diana. As always, part of how he shows her he cares is by respecting that.

“There is something to be said about the fact that it’s been six years and no one has even mentioned sex. With each other or otherwise. Maybe she’s just not that into me.” He shrugs, also thinking that really isn’t the case. Although it had been not-so-helpfully suggested by a Gunman or two before. As if any of them had any real experience with women outside of chat rooms and computer labs.

Because Scully hasn’t left him either. Hasn’t ever expressed an interest in a life outside the X-Files. Hasn’t ever, ever let him down. She stands entirely too close to him on elevators and drinks from his coffee cup when she’s in a rush. She waits up for him in the middle of the night, she lets him watch her sleep. She rises like the Phoenix time and time again. She touches the stars and toils in the basement. And she kissed him on Tuesday.

Though she would be seriously perturbed if she heard him acknowledge any of that out loud. Especially that last part.

But he was allowed to acknowledge it, right? He had to, or else they were never going to get past this bizarre phase where their relationship was even a secret to themselves. Will they or won’t they? Are they or aren’t they? Damned if he knew.

They didn’t even have the X-Files anymore. The entire pretext for their relationship hovered over the razor’s edge, completely unprepared for Salt Lake Cities and Diana Fowleys and meaningless days spent tracking down literal piles of shit. He made it clear he wasn’t ready to handle anything personal and then they RSVP’d to a wedding together.

Polaris or utter chaos. Scully had once called him unfathomably capricious.

“Yea, but don’t you want to just take her in your arms and kiss her?”

Holman’s aggressively simple advice is reflective of a man who got everything he wanted. Easy words from someone who finally found safe harbor.

Three months ago, he was offering Holman dating advice. Now Holman was freshly married and all Mulder’s gotten were a few chaste kisses he wasn’t supposed to think about. Cosmic justice or just complete fucking irony?

Sighing, Mulder looks back through the windows where Holman and Sheila’s wedding reception is just getting into full swing. Dazzling lights, disco balls, even a few novelty lasers spin dizzily over the guests as they start feeling the liquor and therefore, the groove. Scully is in there somewhere and his eyes scan for her instinctively, but he doesn’t see her red hair in the crowd. She must still be in the bathroom or surely she would come to find him out here, right? Mulder couldn’t believe the amount of insecurity he had been feeling since she came out in that dress and asked him to help her zip up the back. He needed a drink, big time.

“It’s not just about kissing her -” Above them, the full moon is in dazzling brilliance. Not a cloud in the sky, not a hint of chill in the breeze, downright perfect humidity. On Holman Hardt’s wedding day at the end of April. Figures. “I don’t sit around and pine for Scully the way you did for Sheila. We are in a relationship, have been for years, I guess. We are not just partners, I know that. And not just friends. But it’s about being with her all the time - forever - I think. I want to keep that possibility alive.”

At whatever the cost, he doesn’t add, an onslaught of near-misses hurtling past them like a vengeful comet wrought by some dissatisfied god. The weight of the knowledge that he would follow her anywhere - and she, him - whether they liked it or not. Something that was beyond what a ring or social status could ever symbolize, objectively speaking.

It was as simple as wanting Scully like air to breathe, simple as obeying the laws of gravity. A purely biological necessity. No need to complicate things. And no need to scare her off by being as lousy a lover as he was a friend. If all she ever needed from him were chaste yet unforgettable kisses, he would be honored to provide. Ad infinitum, if that’s what it took to keep her in orbit. No need to define the bonds that connect them. Just the need to stay connected.

A light in the sky from which he could chart his course.

Mulder looked hungrily back into the pulsating throng behind him, seeking his personal universal invariant. As much as he wanted her to return so he could end this candid and hyper-intimate conversation, he especially did not want her to overhear how pathetically punch-drunk he was after just the smallest morsels of her affection. He was supposed to remain coolly and Mulder-ish-ly aloof. It was part of their unspoken agreement for partaking on this exclusive jaunt they had both surreptitiously cashed in their vacation days for.

“I’ve kissed her a couple of times, though.” Except for that, of course. Holman gives him a high five. Then he says in the wistful way he’s been saying everything tonight:

“You know, I’ve been in love with Sheila since I was in high school; I was completely infatuated.” Mulder knows, but not really. Who could be in love with someone with a voice like that? Who consistently kicked you under the rug to date the people you detested the most? To him, the sexiest thing about Scully was that she willingly spent time with him. That and she smelled like a secret garden and her skin was as soft as a petal. His own luscious Atropa belladonna; look but don’t touch. It was a fitting match considering his life was rotely defined by his personal, unattainable longings.

“I think it's different, Holman. I love Agent Scully--” more of that condensation settles. “I have for a long time. As a friend first. But I'm not lovesick. I'm not…” he trails off because to say he’s not also in love with Scully isn't the whole truth. But it’s not the same. “I'm still working on being in love with her in a way that is most fair for her. For us.” He looks up into the starry night and grips the edge of the stone wall that he is perched on. “I tend to be a bit overbearing and unpredictable.”

And incomprehensible and dog-headed and nebulous and borderline unreliable - but he’s not really interested in listing all the ways he’s failed Scully or why he knows he’s badbadbad for her. The reasons why she shouldn’t be wearing a short navy blue dress at a private and completely voluntary event with him tonight. Why he should have done the gentlemanly thing years ago and convinced her to get out and save her reputation, to save herself from a lifetime of pain. Should have resisted the tender, irresistible way she always pulled him back to her. Should not have RSVP'd to this damn wedding, at least.

Instead, he spirited her away from the world living into the world of the half-dead and always searching.

Then again he’d probably be dead ten times over, considering the numerous occasions she’d saved his ass over the years. But life without Scully would be a fate worse than death.

He’s seeding the rain cloud, he knows. These are the kinds of words phrased in such a way that he’s been avoiding admitting - let alone thinking - for years. It’s admissions like these to people like Holman that will force him to pay the piper. He envisions Holman and Sheila forcing them to slow dance beneath the dizzy lights to Fools Rush In. He’d prefer a Whiter Shade of Pale, himself. Something a bit more subtle.

“Loving someone isn’t about being fair, Agent Mulder. My life has basically been at a standstill until I finally got my chance to be with Sheila. I wasn’t willing to move forward with any decision in my life if it meant missing a chance I might have with her. I accepted a job in the same town I grew up in, for Chrissake, because she was here! And yes, there were times when I resented the fact that she refused to see me as more than a friend and instead chased after the people I liked the least.

I have a few buddies from high school who got pretty sick of my laments for a woman - who you will probably agree - is completely out of my league.” Mulder resists reacting, different strokes and all. “The fairest route would have been to save myself the drama of Sheila’s many romantic interludes and settle down with someone else - you might not know it but I’m quite the catch in a small town like this - but I was determined to wait until it was my turn. Now those same guys from high school are here dancing at our wedding!

Look at me! I’m married to the most beautiful woman in Kroner! In all of Kansas, probably! And we are already talking about starting our family right away!”

Holman, glowing with pride like the light of the moon with his arms outstretched, has a nostalgic, faraway look on his face, back to his days as the awkward teen in love with the prom queen. Indeed, Holman had received his just rewards for patience, diligence, and the honor of a respectable life.

Scully is his reward too, Mulder knows. Has always known, since the day she walked back into his basement office after spending thirty-six hours hiding in the rain forests of Puerto Rico with no food or water and scared to death that the kill squads were going to find them and use extreme force. He was constantly falling in love with the versions of herself that she shed with each tragedy - always a moment too late. Always under her sharp and disapproving eye. She wore her newfound vulnerabilities with a sign that read: “Danger, Stay Back”. That she refused to be worshipped just made her easier to love. He’d had no clue dignity was such a turn on.

Mulder was just worried he hadn't paid his dues with such noble qualities as Holman’s. His many wrongdoings play with a sad soundtrack in his head, as sad as the desperate way she always looks at him when they’ve cheated death yet again. She had been particularly unzipped by his recent near-drowning and nick-of-time rescue in the Plantagenet Bay. The Gunmen published it in their quarterly and referred to Scully as the Babe of the Bermuda Triangle. He still felt kinda bad about that one.

Was it just Mulder or was the moon shining a little more brightly right now?

“One of the best days of my life was when Sheila started working at the station.” Holman gets another dreamy look upon his face as he recalls the day. Mulder remembers too, it was chronicled in the local paper. That and a portfolio of other newsworthy weather events Holman was responsible for sat neatly collated within his X-Files. And now including their invitation to the blessed Hardt-Fontaine nuptials. It wasn’t every day he got to hang out with one of the curiosities from his wonder cabinet.

Unless he counted Scully which he explicitly and vociferously did not.

“May 11, 1992: residents of Kroner, Kansas, report witnessing a rare quadruple rainbow,” He recites.

Mulder has a similar best day of his life, but he doesn’t recall any meteorological event that marked the moment. It wasn’t even a full moon. Just a regular March afternoon that he had been antipathetic about.

Holman grins. “Some reported seeing a fifth arc as well, but it was never substantiated.” Then his face grows cloudy. “That same day, while we were catching up, was when she told me she was moving in with Darryl Moody and that they were ‘engaged to be engaged.’” He spits the last words out like venom. And that would explain the subsequent supercell lightning storm that knocked Kroner off the grid for three days (also in his files).

“She just wanted to be friends,” he bemoans before becoming annoyingly cheerful again, “but being her friend was the next best thing because here we are! Sheila recently told me that the best relationships are rooted in friendship so if that’s what it took to get here, I wouldn’t change a day.”

Mulder, dipping his chin to his chest, was appalled he found that so pathetically endearing. And a little bit wounding. Were he and Scully not rooted in friendship? For someone who was so quick to believe, he knew he was certainly wanting for a little more faith in the matter. Because here we are, he thinks, together, in other lifetimes, always.

In this particular lifetime in Kansas, there might be drinks and dancing and more than one excuse to touch her companionably and then maybe a little more familiarly, as soon as she finished up inside and he could end this awkward conversation with the groom.

“Don’t let some bad luck cramp your style, Agent Mulder,” Holman says, reaching the end of his proselytizing. “The future will be as bright as you make it.”

Following Holman’s gaze up into the night sky, Mulder finds that the heavens are now alight with the ethereal trails of meteors, dainty and otherworldly, glittering their way across the universe.

Mulder sighs again, equally entranced by and indifferent to Holman’s bizarre skills. “Easy for you to say, Holman.” But Holman just laughs the contented and mirthful laugh of a man in love. To him, everything is limitless: life, love, the weather, and now the entire galaxy.

And though there was once a time where Mulder would have imprudently coveted the ability to touch the unthinkable like Holman Hardt, tonight he is content to reach only one star.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24564760

Notes:

WIP, I hope. There should be a chapter for Scully + Sheila and another for Mulder + Scully. Fingers crossed! Mad love to my favorite fanfiction of all time, Parabiosis by Penumbra. This story includes some loving references to that masterpiece. Made with the utmost respect. Thanks for reading.

[noblest-roman-of-all]

abandon

i figured id try my hand at one of those inktober style writing prompt challenges, so here we go! first up: abandon

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When he was a kid, Remus had a family. He had a brother, a twin brother at that! They were pretty different, but Remus really didn’t care that much. They would spend hours coming up with crazy stories about dragons and zombies and knights and magic, playing in their room where they could make anything happen. They called it the Imagination, and it was their kingdom. They ruled it together, the prince and the duke, making their own world everyday, then taking it apart and putting new ones together. 

He always thought Roman was happy with the way they did things. Sure, sometimes they’d argue about things, but they always ended up making something awesome out of it. They had all they needed with the two of them and their Imagination. Roman clearly didn’t think that though. He kept spending more and more time with the other sides, Patton and Logan. He knew Patton didn’t like him. He never stopped smiling, unless he saw Remus. It never bothered him though, because he had his brother. Until one day. 

Roman came back from playing with Patton and Logan, but something was wrong. Remus tried to tell him about his new idea for the Imagination, but Roman told him to shut up. He started yelling about how Remus was bad, he was broken. He said lots of things, but Remus only remembered the last part. 

“You’re not my brother. You’re everything I can’t be, everything I can’t let happen to Thomas. You need to leave.”

Remus tried to go back to the Imagination, but the door wouldn’t open for him anymore. He stood outside the door for hours, trying everything he could to get the door open, but nothing worked. He had ideas in there! Stories, monsters, worlds he needed to finish building! Roman was in there! It seemed like forever passed before he heard someone behind him. 

“It’s no use. You’re not welcome there anymore,” the voice said. He didn’t need to turn around to know that voice. It was one of the ones they didn’t let Thomas hear, didn’t let him know about. One of the bad guys.  

“You’re lying,” Remus sneered. “That’s your whole thing. Roman wouldn’t…” 

“Abandon you? He already has.” The sharp voice suddenly turned soft, almost sad. “I… I can give you a place. A family, without him.” A hand landed on Remus’ shoulder. Well, they did think he was a bad guy now. Might as well play the role. He was good at that. 

“... where to?”

For a long time after that, Remus had a family. Janus and Virgil were just as strange as he was, just as intense and just as hated by the rest of the sides. It made sense for them all to stick together, to wreak a little havoc. Freaky nightmares, little lies that snowball into a trainwreck, the voice in Thomas’s mind reminding him just how quickly everything can go wrong. It was fun, like getting to play again. His Imagination was no longer contained and quelled by Roman, he was free. He got to suggest all manner of strange, creepy and downright dirty ideas, and sometimes, Thomas actually considered them. And to top it all off, he had friends, family who understood him. 

Well, he thought they both did. 

Virgil had been acting weird, even weirder than he normally did. He had agreed to jump into videos to really antagonize the “light sides”, finally given a platform other than the mindscape they normally existed in. It had gone well for a while. Even if he didn’t always manage to keep Thomas anxious, he managed to unsettle him for a while, and he messed with the others a shit ton, which Remus personally counted as a win. It had been working, he thought. Until he noticed that Virgil would leave their dark little corner outside of videos, hanging around the others just for shits and giggles. 

Janus didn’t seem to mind that much, but Remus knew they were bad news. Knew how fast they would turn around and decide, you know what, you’re not worth it, not worth our time. He knew they would decide eventually that whatever pet project they were attempting with Virgil, they would get bored of it, and they would toss him out and break his heart. Remus didn’t want that to happen. So, he pulled a few strings. 

He started fucking with Roman more and more, pushing all of his buttons. He made sure to show his face around Patton, reminding him who Virgil’s real family was. He would pop up in Logan’s room to ask all sorts of nonsense questions, trying to tire him out and piss him off. And because Remus was an evil mastermind at heart, it started to work. The other sides would lose their temper with Virgil more and more often, pushing him aside and talking over him. He was so sure it would make Virgil resent them, make him turn back to the people who cared about him. 

He didn’t expect Virgil to duck out entirely. 

He really didn’t expect the other sides and Thomas to find him so quickly. 

He absolutely didn’t expect they would win him over. 

“I love my dark strange son.” What a load of horseshit, from the cardigan clad clown himself. 

Fine! If Virge wanted to get involved, leave him and Janus behind just so he could get his heart broken when the others inevitably changed their minds, remembered who he really was, and decided to abandon him in turn, that was all him. 

Remus just never thought he was the masochistic sort. 

For another three years, Remus had a family. Him and Janus got along swimmingly, better than he ever had with any other side. With Virgil out in the open, they decided they could make themselves known. If he’d thought getting to stretch his twisted creative muscles in the mindscape was fun, it was nothing compared to getting to pull out his biggest guns on Thomas in person. He also enjoyed that Janus seemed to come back from most of his encounters with them smug and content, which was usually the best state Janus could be in. Things were going well. 

Remus should’ve known that means someone’s about to leave him. 

It starts with the wedding. The stupid, stupid fucking wedding. He’s never wanted to bash his b- Roman over the head more than the moment he decided they were going to go to the wedding. Even if it gave him more material to work with, he knew it was going to result in a level of misery he didn’t want to deal with in the long run. He did end up getting to beat Ro up a little bit, but it didn’t satisfy him the way he wanted it to. 

What was worse than that, Janus started getting more and more irritable. Remus would find him pacing around his room, muttering as he steps over crumpled sheets of paper and open notebooks. He would snap at Remus in ways he never did before, pissed off over silly pranks that never phased him much before. 

You’d think by now, Remus would be an expert in recognizing when he was about to leave him behind. Some people just don’t learn, apparently. 

He did pay attention when he wasn’t around, though people never expect that. He heard everything that happened the night of the wedding. He heard how hurt Roman was, how confused Patton seemed, how angry Thomas was trying to not be. He heard Janus appear and diffuse the situation. 

He heard Janus tell them his name. 

“Roman, thank god you don't have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn't know who the evil twin is.” He heard that too. 

When Janus came back, he didn’t look very different. Remus… well, Remus felt a lot of things, most of which he channeled into an overwhelming desire to hit him directly in his stupid, snake-y face with the morningstar. 

Remus generally didn’t feel bad when his weapons actually hurt people, but he didn’t usually feel this level of release, this feeling of letting everything drain out of him in one harsh swing. 

“What the hell has gotten into you? I’m not Roman, you know,” Janus sighed, wiping at the blood flowing down his face. 

“Yeah, I’m aware of that, you two faced fucker. That was for being such an absolute fucking dick to my brother,” Remus shouted, hauling the morningstar over his shoulder, ready to swing again. Janus took a quick step back and raised an entirely unimpressed eyebrow. 

“Oh yes, and you have such a history of kindness and support with him.” Normally Janus’ smug drawl was comforting, but directed at him it grated on every. Single. Fucking. Nerve. 

“At least he knows what to expect from me! I hit him with a pointy ball on a stick, I don’t try to emotionally manipulate and damage him every chance I get!” Remus shouted. “And what was the name sharing shit? It took years for you to tell me your name, they get it in a few months?”

Janus let out a long sigh at that. “You don’t understand. It was the only way Patton-”

That was the final straw. “Oh, Patton this Patton that! Why don’t you go suck up to daddy like every other fucking side has, clearly that’s the only thing you give a shit about!” 

“I needed them to trust me, Remus, it’s not personal.” Janus had sat down by now, his head in his hands, but Remus could not give less of a shit about how tired he looked. 

“You made it personal when you used me to talk shit about my brother! Maybe I am evil, but I know my role, I know what I am, I don’t try to convince anyone otherwise! You, you lie and talk in circles and do whatever it takes to make sure they like you, make sure Patton likes you, even when it means you shit all over me!” Remus had been pacing through his speech, but he circled back to Janus, who was finally looking at him again. They locked eyes for a moment, before Janus looked away, unable to deny any of it.  

“You told me you’d give me a family. If this is what your idea of family is, I don’t fucking want it,” Remus spat. “Go play house with Patton and pretend you're ever going to keep a promise and not abandon everything you’ve ever said and done at the drop of a hat when some shiny new possibility appears.”

A long, long moment of silence followed. And then Janus stood up, brushed lightly at his pants, and turned away from Remus. 

“Have fun alone, Remus,” he said. It wasn’t a sneer, wasn’t a snarl or a shout. It was just said, flat and cold and so empty. And then he walked away, closing the door behind him quietly. For all his drama and all his shouting, Remus wasn’t prepared for such a quiet end. 

“Well,” he said to the empty room, “at least I can’t have any more family drama.”

He didn’t cry that night. He didn’t spend that night wishing that maybe someone would have bothered to stay with him, stay for him. 

He didn’t. Because he was the evil twin, and evil twins don’t cry over being abandoned. 

They plot revenge. 

[mistbornthefinal]

Madoka Magica Aniversary Analysis: Part 9

Can Love and Courage Still Triumph?

The beginning of this episode replays the end of the last, Sayaka’s transformation into a witch. As Oktavia von Seckendorff looms over her Kyouko is initially uncomprehending or perhaps in denial of what just happened happened. Kyouko grabs Sayaka’s body as it falls and is forced to dodge a barrage of Okatavia’s signature wheels. Homura arrives on the scene and sets off another flashbang and the offers Kyouko her hand.

Kyouko takes it and we get our first look and Homura’s timestop from an inside perspective. Within the stopped time Kyouko demands to know where that witch came from and what happened to Sayaka, Homura reiterates the truth that Kyouko is unwilling to internalize, Sayaka has become a witch. Homura then says that unless Kyouko is unwilling to discard Sayaka’s body then they will have to run. Kyouko can not do that so they exit the barrier. (cue connect)

We find Madoka walking morosely along the railroad tracks only to run into Kyouko and Homura walking in the opposite direction. Seeing Sayaka’s lifeless body Madoka tearfully asks what happened to her friend. Homura lays it out her Soul Gem shattered and became a Grief Seed, Sayaka is gone. That is the final secret of the Soul Gem when they fully darken they become Grief Seeds and a girl is reborn as a witch. This is the inescapable fate of those who become magical girls. In payment for the number of people Sayaka has saved Oktavia will curse and equal number of people.

Of course this sort of law karmic balancing that the girls have been claiming for the past few episodes doesn’t really hold up if you think about it. Mami saved a large number of people and cursed no one due to dying before she became a Witch. Heck Kyubey’s whole operation sort of requires a certain amount of unfair exchange to be possible given they use magic to extent the life of the universe and leave other species with the bill.  That said it’s easy to buy equivalent exchange as something the characters believe,(especially Homura who at this point want’s to resolve her wish as “a life for a life”) but it’s something that Madoka’s wish ultimately rejects. 

Kyouko is angered by Homura’s cold words in the face of Madoka’s grief grabbing her by the collar, but Homura simply continues her monologue telling Madoka that this is the truth of what she aspired to become. Homura then tell Kyouko that there will be trouble if she isn’t cautious about disposing of the body. Kyouko similar to Madoka in episode 7 asks Homura how she can call herself human.

“I can’t, of course. And neither can you.”

We find Madoka sitting on her bed when Kyubey come for a visit. Madoka is unsurprised to find him alive, and he confirms that nothing that Homura said is wrong enough to require further explanation. He then lays out the reasoning behind the system his kind have inflicted on humanity. When the Soul Gem undergoes phase change a tremendous amount of energy is released and that energy is their ultimate goal. It is a source of power unbounded by thermodynamics that they can use to stave off the heat death of the universe. 

While he implies that this is ultimately for the benefit of humanity as well (and that humanity will eventually join the interstellar community) the next episode proves he is full of shit. That they have a fixed quota of energy that they expect each planet to produce and express no regret at humanities immanent extinction strongly implies that the extinction of the client species is the expected end state of their operation. In which case the relationship is purely predatory regardless of what he might claim in episode 11. 

He also gives the fig leaf that the girls all consented but that’s a weak dodge. Like forget informed consent this is maliciously and deliberately misinformed consent, he may claim that his species doesn’t understand the concept of deception that doesn’t seem to stop him from doing it constantly. Also while it’s not brought up I can’t help but feel then need to point towards all the normal humans who never consented to anything and are being eaten by witches regardless. 

Kyubey then says that given that there are billions of human’s he doesn’t understand why the death of a single human has her bent out of shape. 

you tell ‘em Madoka

Kyubey gives yet another sales pitch this time stressing the vas amounts of delicious energy she will produce when she becomes a horrible monster. Leaving with.

“So, if you ever feel like dying for the sake of the universe, just let me know.”

We check in on Kyouko who is using her magic to stop Sayaka’s gem from decaying. Kyubey shows himself to ask why and Sayaka answers his question with another question. “Can Sayaka be brought back.” Kyubey uses ambiguous phrasing to give Kyouko false hope like the dick he is. We leave this scene with Kyouko stuffing her face making it pretty clear that her eating habits are less “endearing character quirk” and more “worrying coping mechanism.”

As Madoka is walking to school with Hitomi (who tragically unaware of what has happened), Kyouko calls out to her with telepathy asking her if she’s really just going to go to school after what happened yesterday? Realizing that the fate of her friends soul is probably more important than compulsory education Madoka ditches Hitomi runs off. 

Kyouko tells Madoka that she can’t abandon Sayaka so long as there hope she can be saved. (and potentially even if there isn’t) He friends voice might still be able to reach her, might bring her back to humanity. Madoka asks if that will really work to which Kyouko replies that she has no idea. She want’s to do this because she doesn’t know, because that uncertainty allows room for hope

“Maybe if we slice that witch in half, Sayaka’s Soul Gem will fall out instead of a Grief Seed. Wouldn’t that be something? It’d be like one of those stories where love and courage triumph over all. Come to think about it, I probably became a magical girl in the first place because I loved stories like that. I’d totally forgotten about it, but Sayaka reminded me again.”

You did it Kyouko, you boiled your character arc down to the bare essentials. Kyouko asks Madoka if she is willing to help even if Kyouko can’t promise her safety or success. Madoka cinnamon roll that she is accepts immediately offers  her hand into which Kyouko places a piece of candy in lieu of a handshake. 

Back at school Homura decides to dich as soon as it’s clear that Madoka isn’t coming. 

As the two of them search for Oktavia’s labyrinth, Madoka asks if Homura is going to help them. Kyouko says no and denies that Homura is her friend, they simply share a common goal, to defeat Walpurgisnact an enemy neither of them could face alone. 

Within the barrier Madoka asks Kyouko if she is a coward for always leaving the fighting to others. Kyouko flips the script her life is happy one, to abandon that, to become a Puella Magi for a mere whim is the height of stupidity. Kyouko won’t allow it, if Madoka did she would be the first to kick her ass. 

“The only people who should put their lives in danger are those who’ve got no other choice. Anyone else is just playing around.”

Kyouko then says there might be a time when Madoka has no choice but to fight, she should only consider the contract then.

We then arrive at the center of the labyrinth, or rather Oktavia realizes that she has intruders and they are pulled to the center. Oktavia’s familiars supply the background music as Madoka glimpses the remnant of her friend for the first time. She calls out to Sayaka but Oktavia’s only reply is to summon her wheels.

Kyouko raises her barrier and perpares herself to intercept the Witches attacks. As Madoka calls out to Sayaka Kyouko deflects a barrage of wheels with her spear. However Oktavia only steps up her attacks and Kyouko seems to be struggling to fight a purely defensive battle. 

As Kyouko starts to take hits she reminisces about her first encounter with Sayaka. She had dismissed the girl a first but she kept getting up no matter what. As she recalls that day red and blue flows across the screen froming the silhouette of Kyouko and Sayaka before resolving as flowing blood. Several wheels hit Kyouko and she is thrown backward. As Madoka moves to help Kyouko to her feet Oktavia seizes her in a massive armored gauntlet and begins to squeeze. 

Kyouko finally strikes severing the Witches limb and berating Sayaka. Oktavia brings her sword down shattering the floor and reveling an inverse of the concert hall they were in presided over by a familiar that resembles a certain boy.

Homura is there to catch Madoka. Kyouko apologises to Homura for dragging Madoka into her idiocy and the creates another of her barriers between her and Homura. The message there is clear. Kyouko acknowledges Homura’s mission focusing on the one thing she wants to protect above all else, Kyouko used to think that was what she was doing as well. She undoes her ponytail to reveal the symbol of her fathers faith that she had hidden in her hair, she never truly stopped believing. 

As Homura flees Kyouko summons spears from the earth in massive numbers including on large enough for her to ride. From her clasped hand she draws her Soul Gem that she has fused with the symbol of old faith.

“Don’t worry, Sayaka I know you don’t what to be alone. It’s ok. I’ll be here with you Sayaka.”

She then unleashes a massive attack through her own Soul Gem killing both her and Oktavia.

Back at the Homu-home Homura asks an interloping Kyubey if there was any chance for Kyouko’s plan to succeed. Kyubey admits that it was impossible and that he basically manipulated Kyouko to her death so Homura would have to face Walpurgisnact alone, and thus Madoka has no choice but to contract in order to save the city. Homura says that she will never let that happen.

For this episode Magia does not make it’s usual appearance instead replaced by “and I’m home” sing by Ai Nonaka and Eri Kitamura (VA’s for Kyouko and Sayaka respectively.)

And that’s Episode 9, when you get down to this Kyouko’s episode as much as Episode 10 is Homura’s episode. Kyouko what had come into the narrative preaching selfishness stakes it all on trying to save the girl who remined her of her old ideals. Now that the full weight of Kyubey’s system is reveled Kyouko tries to find a way out and in bittersweet way she does, choosing to expend her Soul Gem in a heroic sacrifice rather than fall into despair and become a Witch.

That said now there’s only one person standing in the way of Kyubey’s plans, though to a certain extent that’s how it’s always been.

[motherofoliver]

Lost on You (Chapter 1)

(AO3)

Summary: After over a year on a roller coaster ride, Kaneki leaves prison and attempts to make amends for his mistakes.

Word Count: 2,118

*****

“Here are your things. You may exit through that door.” The guard slid Kaneki his things through a small opening in the glass and pointed towards the metal door leading to the outside world. He put on his jacket, bloodstains still on it.

That’s gonna be a bitch to dry clean.

After checking his wallet, Kaneki pushed the metal door open and walked outside to find a vintage red Mustang with a familiar face standing besides it.

“Where’s Touka?”

“I missed you too, buddy. Please try to contain your excitement at seeing me.” Hide chuckled as he came up closer and embraced the dark-haired man. It took a while for Kaneki to hug him back. He wasn’t sure when the last time he was held by anyone was. Definitely over a month. Maybe over three months. Not since T…

“You smell like shit.” Hide wrinkled his nose and stepped back while comically waving his hand.

“Yeah, prison can do that to you.” Kaneki made his way to the front seat of the car and leaned it back.

“Did they make you shower with expired chicken stock?” Hide got into the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition. Pop music blared from the radio as he reversed the car and sped onto the main street. “My place is closer than yours, we’ll stop there so you can shower and have a change of clothes.”

“Just take me home.” Kaneki sounded exhausted. He slid down his seat and placed his arm over his eyes.

“No can do. Akira wants to see you.”

Kaneki groaned. “I just got out. I can’t attend a work meeting right now.”

“Hey man, it’s the least you could do. She busted her ass to get you out.” Hide sounded playful but Kaneki knew him well enough to know there was a tinge of reproach in his voice. Akira must have pulled a lot of strings she did not want to pull. The familiar wave of guilt washed over him and his throat tightened.

“Will Touka be there?” And would she speak to me if she was?

“I don’t know, I think she’s been busy with a new client.”  Hide was tapping his fingers against the wheel with the music but Kaneki could feel his eyes glancing at him with concern. “I thought guys got buff in jail, how did you manage to get thinner?” Hide tried to cheer up the atmosphere by teasing him but his mind was already elsewhere.

“Yeah, well, prison food tastes like shit.” Kaneki replied absentmindedly. He couldn’t actually remember what prison food tasted like or if he even ate it. He couldn’t remember much of anything besides the thoughts that kept a watchful rotation in his head like a music worm you can’t hum your way out of.

“Don’t worry about that. Tonight I’ll take you out for the best meal of your life. It’ll be a mukbang of all your favorite foods. Gotta celebrate you surviving prison.”

Kaneki didn’t react. He was already humming his tune.

***

Breaking news! Our favorite hot mess, Ken Kaneki, is out of prison after only serving one month of his prison sentence! Insider sources tell us a deal was mediated with the prosecution and the actor was released on parole this morning! We contacted his agency for a statement on the release of the famous one eyed dragon but they have yet to reach out. Do you think he got off easy? Share your thoughts with us on our social media at…

Akira closed her browser tab and took a deep sigh. She could already feel a headache forming behind her eyes and she was positive it will get worse within the next few hours. She pressed her intercom button “Hairu, could you please get me some water and Paracetamol before Kaneki gets here?”

“Yes, ma’am” The reply was quick and Akira immediately heard the sound of Hairu leaving her desk to the communal office area.

How will we spin this one?

Throughout the last year, working as Kaneki’s publicist meant she has had to bend over backwards and use every trick up her sleeve to maintain a modicum of a career for him. Paying exuberant amounts of money to cover up his drug use, settlements, bribes, killing stories and videos of his repeated arrests, convincing prostitutes not to post photos of him snorting cocaine off them on their Instagram, negotiating with producers and directors to keep him on their movies even though he’s consistently 6 hours late to set and doesn’t even know his lines.

It’s just a phase; he’s going through a difficult time.

Or so she kept telling herself as he punched and kicked and snorted his way through the five stages of grief. It took less than 3 months to change his reputation from the ‘wholesome child star who made it’ into a violent drug addict who couldn’t stay sober for a five minutes morning statement of apology. His childhood portraits turned into snarky memes on social media mocking his downward spiral. Tabloids competed to come up with the most outrageous story of the day about him, and they didn’t have to work too hard to find them.

Hairu knocked at the door. Akira nodded for her to enter. She placed a sheet of pills and a water bottle on her desk then moved out. Akira interrupted her at the door “Is Touka in the office today?”

“No, ma’am. She went to Italy yesterday for the photoshoot.”

Thank God. “Thank you, Hairu.” At least that will be one less outburst to deal with today. Hairu nodded and closed the door behind her.

Kaneki would definitely make a scene if Touka was around. He has managed to botch every interaction they had ever since they broke up and Touka has been through enough last few months. There was no need to add the burden of handling Kaneki just yet.

Speak of the devil.

Akira’s phone lit up with a message from Hide: “Just dropped Kaneki off. He’s all yours.”

Akira took a deep breath and reached for the pills.

***

Kaneki felt every eye in the hall on him. He had hoped his entry would be inconspicuous but looking at his reflection in the elevator, he realized he may have overdone it a bit with the black. He looked like a modern day rendition of the grim reaper if he wanted to start a goth band. Kaneki clicked the 14th floor button, Creative Celebrity Globe.

What a dumb fucking name.

Unconsciously, Kaneki started tapping his foot. He wasn’t sure what to expect with Akira but he doubted it will be anything good. But that wasn’t the thing making him nervous.

What if Touka is in her office? I should go say hi. Right? She wouldn’t mind that. It’s only being civil.

The elevator doors opened and Kaneki instinctually went to the right, room 1407. The door was locked and the lights were out. He looked inside and Touka’s bag wasn’t on the table by the window. Music wasn’t playing on her computer. His eyes searched for the bunny calendar he got her but it wasn’t on the wall next to the desk. Kaneki felt a pit in his stomach at the thought she might have thrown it away.

“Kaneki! Glad to have you back.” Akira’s voice snapped Kaneki out of his thoughts. Akira gestured towards her office with a formal smile on her face. The dark circles around her eyes had deepened since the last time she visited him in prison. She followed him as he made his way into her office and closed the door behind them.

“I’m sure you didn’t want to come here today but we need to discuss our plan from now on.” Akira said matter-of-factly as she pulled a few folders from her drawer. “There will be a shit storm next couple of weeks so it’s best if you lay low. That means no social media, no going out, no smoking, no alcohol, no drugs, no midnight visits from attentive women, alright?”

Kaneki rolled his eyes. “Why not just tie me to a chair and be done with it?”

“Will that be necessary?” Akira’s glare was hard. Kaneki wanted to glare back but he felt too ashamed to try it.

Akira continued. “After that, I have set some volunteer activities for you to join. We’ll leak photos after you prove your presence with the other volunteers. If we feel the time is right, Hairu will start posting on your social media to begin rehabilitating your image and …”

“Isn’t it best if Touka does that?” Kaneki interrupted. “She is more familiar with my personal brand.”

Akira’s look would have been almost condescending if not for the pity. “You don’t have a personal brand left, and Touka no longer works on your team.” Akira said slowly, as if she was talking to a child. “Hairu is more than competent enough for this task.”

Kaneki’s foot started tapping aggressively but he didn’t say anything.

“If all goes right, we might be able to get you a role on a Netflix show set to start production in 6 months. I’m personal friends with the director and he would be willing to hire you as a favor for me.” Akira placed her fists beneath her chin. “That is if you get your act together.”

“What if I don’t want to do that?” Kaneki asked defiantly. He had been feeling like a puppet steered by the people around him for the last month and he wasn’t looking forward to being that puppet for the next six months.

“Don’t want what? To get your act together?” Akira’s eyebrow rose. “I’m afraid that’s implied in your parole.” She leaned back in her chair with crossed hands.

“No, I mean acting. I mean this whole life. Can’t I just retire now? I’ve done my time.” Kaneki was getting antsy in his seat. The room felt as it was getting smaller. Akira’s voice was becoming distant. His foot was basically shaking now instead of tapping. He wanted to go back to Touka’s office and look for the calendar. She wouldn’t have thrown it away.

“With whose money do you plan to do that?” Akira’s question was like a jolt of electricity.

“What do you mean whose money? Mine of course!” Kaneki’s voice rose on the last word.

“Would that be the money you spent on drugs? Or travels? Or lawyers? Or settlements?” Akira dropped one of the folders in front of him. “You still have fees and settlements worth millions to pay. You can’t afford to retire unless you’re willing to go back to jail for much longer than you were sentenced.” Akira opened the folder and pointed to a signature line. “That’s why I need you to sign here. We’re selling your apartment.”

Akira’s voice grew distant again. Kaneki’s choices for the last year fell crashing on him and his breath stopped in his chest. “I can’t do that.” He managed to croak out.

He really couldn’t. That apartment was the first thing he ever bought with his money. He bought it for himself and Touka. He decorated it with Touka. That apartment was where they spent their first night together. Even after they broke up, he didn’t let any other woman in there. That place was his and Touka’s, together. Selling it would mean letting go of that final thread holding them together.

“You have to, Kaneki.” Akira’s tone was sympathetic but firm. “You could be sued if you don’t pay some of those fees and your royalties right now won’t cut it. People are still mad at you and won’t show your movies or buy them.”

“Isn’t there any work I can do right now? I’ll do anything.” Kaneki was quietly pleading. “Can’t I take money from the trust fund?”

“No, Arima was very clear in his will that you cannot access that till you’re 30. I already asked the lawyers.” Akira felt a hitch in her throat at the mention of Arima, and looking at Kaneki, she could tell he felt the same.

Kaneki’s tone became stern “I’ll have to think about this before I sign.” He stood up. “Where are my keys?” He extended his hand.

“You won’t be staying at your place. Too many photographers.” She handed him the folder. “You’ll stay at Hide’s place till you finish the Netflix production.”

Kaneki snatched the folder from Akira’s hand and walked outside. He couldn’t hide the anger in his step. He pressed the elevator’s button as if it offended him personally. He took another look at the document inside the folder before throwing the whole thing in the trash.

[cosmicbash]

@friendshipfisting requested some grumpy Em at the beach while chatting and I got a little bit carried away writing dorky fluff so-

You lucky heathens are getting a huge prompt drop. Hope you enjoy~

(This is long enough I could post it to ao3 if someone wants to come up with a title ahah)

--

Marshall hated beaches. He always had, they were just always so overcrowded whenever he tried going. And huge clusters of people did nothing but stress him out, even before he got famous and all those claustrophobic fears of a crowd closing in on him suddenly became a reality.

When he was younger and getting absolutely trashed everyday it was easier to deal with. The combination of pills and booze kept him mellow enough that he could even throw himself into a crowd at his own concerts. Helped build up somewhat of a tolerance for whenever he got up on stage.

Outside of performing however? They were still an absolute nightmare that made his stomach twist up into knots. A brief pass through, and maybe a few stops to meet and greet fans he could handle. But actively plopping himself into the hot sandy clusterfuck known as a public beach? That was the furthest thing from fun or relaxing that he could think of. 

Luckily living in the middle of Detroit meant he was mostly free of dealing with said landscape.

So why in the hell was he struggling to get comfortable on some stiff itchy wooden beach chair, with the ocean loudly looming not very far away?

"The wave's are freaking perfect today-" Colson was beaming a smile at him, almost as blinding as the sun resting behind his pretty wet head. The lighting ironically formed a halo around the self proclaimed rap devil. It made Marshall want to snort. "You should seriously come in."

"I'm perfectly fine right here." Under the safety of his umbrella, above the hazardous hot sand. And most importantly far away from the heavy crashing waves. 

Swimming wasn't his best skill either, afterall there was not much need to swim when you avoided the beach. Sure he could wade in a pool and float on his back if needed, but moving, rushing water was a completely different ballgame.

"You're such a drag," Colson's eyes rolled, long legs kicking up sand while he crossed the distance between them. He was still dripping water all over the place, stray droplets splashing onto Marshall's legs when he loomed ever closer to the chair.

Reflexively the older man tucked his notebook away in the nearby bag, knees pulling up so he could resituate himself. Legs crossing indian style to give the brat a place to sit. 

Marshall couldn't care less about being a "drag", he'd been very vocal about his displeasure with the whole idea of wasting a day at the beach. For once he'd taken over the role of bitchy pushover. Spending most of the night before and morning of their trip muttering under his breath, listing all the reasons why it was such a stupid idea. But still going through with the process of booking and reserving a secluded spot for them on some remote beach.

The only reason he'd put up with it at all was for the younger rapper's sake, something which he hoped Colson could actually learn to appreciate. It wasn't common for him to concede like this, but it was only fair. "You enjoying choking on salt water and burning your skin?"

The tall blonde dropped down with a hard plop, legs bouncing to disturb more sand while the beach chair creaked. The bitter question didn't seem to phase his good mood one bit. "Yupp! Loving it. I've missed the beach, I was starting to look like a ghost."

More water splattered against Marshall's ankles, had his skin twitching. "One more big wave like earlier and you might be one-" The brunette was thankful he had shades on, just recalling the moment only a half hour prior when a huge wave had suddenly crashed down and disappeared his partner made his face curl up. It had been a genuinely terrifying minute of watching and waiting for Colson's soaked head to reappear above the water. One that nearly had him leaving his tiny sanctuary to pound down the length of sand separating him from the water. 

Thankfully the younger rapper had resurfaced, farther out then when he'd been hit. Laughter visible even from his distance with the hard shake of the boys shoulders and wide smile. 

"What? That was nothing, you should've seen how big some of the waves over in the Bahama's could get. Now those, those could totally sweep you out to sea."

Clicking his tongue Marshall gave a swift nod, fingers prying open their small cooler to dig out a cold bottle of water. "I'll take your word for it." The last thing he needed was for the kid to get a Bahama's vacation plan into his head. 

Colson sighed dramatically, upper body dropping down to drape over the older man's lap. Inciting a string of curses and half hearted shoves from how the action left water soaking through his shorts. "A little bit of sun and water isn't gonna kill you old man, you look ridiculous all bundled up here in your shirt and hat. Like some horrible undercover pap who's hiding a camera in his beach bag."

The observation was accompanied by a soft laugh and long fingers tugging at the collar of his shirt, trailing up along his jaw to flick his hat.

Marshall's teeth set in a line. "What, you want me stripped down streaking across the beach? Tattoos and dick free for an actual reporter to see?"

The chance of some paparazzo being nearby was slim to none, they both knew that. Marshall had gone out of his way to rent the accompanying two beaches on either side despite the small cliffs between them. There was noone other than their own mix of security teams for miles. The only chance someone was getting a shot of either of them was with a drone.

In theory Marshall could strip down and dance about the beach all he wanted, grab Colson by his skinny waist and fuck him down into the sand until he was choking on a seashell. He was fully confident in his team.

That didn't mean any of that sounded remotely tempting however.

"Maybe not running across the beach," Colson snickered body twisting until he was lying with the back of his head against the older man's crotch. Arms curled up over his head so he could lightly grip onto his sides and stretch the rest of his body out. "A slow sensual walk towards the water sounds a lot better. Would give me something really great to look at."

The harsh tug on wet blonde locks barely elicited a reaction. "If your hoping for a full moon tonight you're gonna be disappointed. News called for clouds-" It was easier to deflect from the brats flirting then reward him with a proper response.

"With how your pants sag I'm guaranteed at least a half moon before sundown." This time Marshall was the one sighing, head shaking while he rubbed his temples. Colson of course looked beyond pleased with his joke, damp hands rubbing up over the front of his shirt to lightly massage his shoulders. "Unless your planning on dressing correctly for once while we walk the shoreline."

"Who said anything about walking along the shoreline? When did I agree to that?"

"What, we're gonna have a beach date and not enjoy the sunset together? It's no wonder you've been divorced twice." The light teasing had Marshall snorting despite himself. Palm pushing his sunglasses up off his face and much to his partner's delight knocking away his sunhat.

"Actually I let Kim's other boyfriends worry about the mushy shit like that, last time I went to a beach with her she left me passed out along the shoreline while the tide was rising." The memory had him chuckling quietly to himself while his gaze trailed along with white shoreline. "Fucking bitch almost let me drown all because I snorted her share of coke."

"Jesus-" Colson's lips burst apart in a laugh. Palms leaving the older rapper's shoulders to cup his neck instead. "Hope she at least cleaned your pockets out before she left-"

The suggestion had Marshall's gaze dropping back down, lips quirking up into a smirk while his fingers raked through Colson's knotted hair. "You'd think so right? Damn bitch swiped my wallet and forgot the motel's key card. Came back to wake my half submerged ass up and bitch how hard of a time I was giving her- like- fuck me for not reminding her it was in my back pocket while I was drowning!"

The outburst had them both laughing finally, Colson's boisterous and expressive was Marshall's was quieter and reserved to a soft shake of his shoulders. A few years ago the same story might've dragged up residual hurt feelings. Colson's soft fingers tickling his throat and heavy body helped keep them away.

"I'll keep that in mind in case I wanna drown your ass sometime soon."

"Probably already have it planned out, why your so eager to get me walking along the shore."

This time when Colson snorted it was followed up with a firm pull. "Fuck, ya caught me-" Large hands curling around the back of his neck to pull him down for an upside down kiss. It was interrupted by panted breaths and light shakes of the younger rapper's head but the action soothed his mood nonetheless.

Colson's mouth was warm against his own and tasted like salty sea water. Marshall even swore he could feel the scratch of sand against his chin but continued to kiss back anyway. The moment was pleasant, helped ease what little stress he had left in his temples.

The broke apart when his back started to ache, fingers tugging softly at the tangled blonde locks until they separated. "If I walk you along the shore like some cheesy hallmark movie can we skip the whole lovey dovey sunset gazing bullshit?"

Colson mock gasped. "And ruin my proposal I had planned?"

Leaning back Marshall moved to uncross his legs, forcing his behemoth of a partner to sit up himself. "If it's another collab idea dragging me out into this ridiculous sun and pesty sand was the worst way to soften me up-"

"Actually I was gonna propose we try fucking out in the ocean. Was hoping the whole weightless thing with the water meant you could hold me up while we fucked." The sleazy wink had Marshall shooting Colson a worried look. It was hard to tell how serious the brat was being. It sounded just like the kind of stupid thing he would actually plan.

"That's one way to break the news to the media," The brunette couldn't help but shake his head and laugh while he climbed back up onto his feet. Hand catching the wide umbrella so he wouldn't knock it over. "Rap God Eminem and rival MGK found naked adrift at sea together. Nude!"

For what felt like the millionth time that day Colson cackled, long neck stretching out while he threw his head back. "We- haha- We don't both have to be naked! Why would you take your shorts off too? You actually wanna skinny dip with me?"

"God no. I don't think I'd ever get the sand out of my ass. Fuck I've been sitting down this whole time and there's some inside my thighs." 

Colson was less graceful when he stood up, full on jostling the umbrella with his head. Fingers curling around the older rapper's abandoned hat to slap it back ontop of his head. "That's half the fun of going to the beach. Getting sand in all kinds of-"Their eyes met in a brief flirty gaze. "Uncomfortable places."

The wink that followed was all the encouragement Marshall needed to start walking towards the beach. Eyes rolling so hard he thought they might get stuck in the back of his head. The sooner they got down to the shore the sooner he could get back to comfort of a nice soft hotel bed.

And promptly screw the blondes brains out.