#unless the virus knocks me down to 50%

[angstyaches]

What about the idea of someone's stomach grumbling in their sleep and it just so happens to wake them up? Hunger growls are a defo one but upset tummy growls could be good too... -Lee

Just curious, would you ever write something hunger based for Kazu? He is such baby and deserves to be a little hungry and then get some good food that he doesn't lose 🤣 -Lee

I decided to combine both of these prompts for you 🖤

P.S. My Japanese SUCKS. Everything in Japanese is a combination of Google Translate and my own basic understanding of the language.

Word Count: 2,988

CW: mention of contagious virus (not specified), self-isolation, stomach noises, hunger, stuck without food, mild angst/loneliness, mention of eating unappetising items + trash (doesn’t actually happen!), mention/description of food. Character gets food but the eating part is fade-to-black.

___

Message from Yumi

           Sent: 07:50

           働いています！電話をかけてこないで！

           (Translation: “I’m working! Stop calling me!”)

___

           Message from Mitsuko

           Sent: 08:03

           Whaaaaat?

___

Kazuhito chewed his lip and made a calculation as he reread the messages from his sisters. If Yumi was getting upset with him for calling, she probably wouldn’t appreciate a text message either. Mitch had, at least, asked what he wanted, but still seemed annoyed.

What did he want, anyway? Nothing, really. Nothing was wrong, but…

He supposed that all he’d wanted was to keep his sisters in the loop.

He’d worked a shift alongside Renta the day before, and last night, Renta had come down with the highly contagious virus that was going around. Knowing he’d been exposed to it, work had called first-thing and asked Kazu to stay at home too. Until he was certain that he wasn’t displaying any symptoms, he reckoned he was best off quarantining at home.

He blew a raspberry through his lips and let his phone drop onto the floor. He tugged his sheet up around his chest and allowed himself to sulk over how little compassion he’d received from both of his sisters.

All he’d wanted to do was let them know that he was stuck at his apartment. Maybe they wouldn’t care anyway; it wasn’t like they’d had plans to see him this week. Maybe this just wasn’t the kind of thing he needed to tell them, now that he was an adult who was living by himself. He’d killed a cockroach two nights ago, and he hadn’t called to tell them that, so maybe this was the same. 

Maybe, from now on, things were just supposed to happen to him, without the need for him to relay the details to his family.

Kazu rolled over, blinking in the harsh light that filtered through the frosted window pane. He still needed to buy a set of curtains. That was something he could have done today, if going to the homeware store didn’t mean risking infecting the staff there, too.

He also needed a rice cooker.

A bath mat.

Toilet paper… He was down to his last half-roll.

It was crazy, how many items he’d taken for granted when he’d been living with Yumi and Mitsuko. He’d never realised how much they must have gone out of their way to keep the house fully equipped and plan all of their meals.

Meals! The thought knocked the sleepiness and the self-pity out of his head for a moment. Meal planning and grocery shopping hadn’t exactly been priorities of his since moving out. He usually found himself wandering down the street to Seven Eleven – unless he was already there, working – and buying rice balls and meat buns and microwaveable bento to tide himself over. 

He hadn’t even thought of taking anything home with him to get him through the next few days…

Whatever, he told himself as he rolled over to face away from the offending windowpane. He probably had enough to survive just one day in isolation.

___

He was having a very pleasant dream about running through a field of lavender in his fox form, until suddenly, he found himself in a dirty alleyway, scrabbling with a tanuki over a discarded box of fried chicken.

Something jolted him awake just as he was about to sink his teeth into the meat, taking a chunk of the paper packaging along with it –

“Nani o…?” he murmured aloud, his mouth thick with saliva as he peeled his eyes open. He knew this feeling. Something in the apartment had woken him up. A sound, or a movement. An earthquake, maybe? A particularly fast train that made his window rattle as it went past? He was still getting used to the new noises in the neighbourhood. Maybe it’d been a neighbour putting their key in their door, or…

Burgggruuuuhhhh.

Kazu winced and shut his eyes. Hmm. He was closing in on a possible answer.

“Kuso,” he sighed, flopping over onto his back. Damn it. He laid a hand on his stomach, bare from where he’d hiked his shirt up in his sleep. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t eaten since about five o’clock the previous day. There had only been a handful of bentos left by the time his shift had ended, so he’d trudged home with a portion of chewy pasta and blasted it in the microwave. It’d been like tearing apart chunks of rubber with his teeth, and the cheese sauce had turned bubbly and sickly-sweet, so he’d ended up scraping most of it into his burnable garbage. He’d assumed he’d be able to head to work early the next day, leaving enough time to grab some breakfast before his next shift, so he’d been okay with not feeling entirely full as he’d gone to bed.

But now it was almost midday, and his belly was eager to remind him that this was not the arrangement they’d made.

Kazu’s nose twitched. His scavenger instincts had kicked in at the memory of throwing his dinner away, and his eyes flicked towards the trash bin, loose and crumpled shut at the other side of the room. No, he told himself, stomach churning in revulsion. He grabbed his pillow from under his head and pressed it over his face. Oh, but there’s not even greedy tanuki to fight, it’s just right there for the taking… UGH, no, no, no, NO! Come on! Be a boy, not a fox!

He stayed like that until he was certain he could control himself. He rolled over again, curling up this time. It would have been nice to go back to sleep, to avoid having to deal with the food situation for a while. The hazy heat and the ache in the pit of his stomach kept him squirming back and forth on the futon, though, and eventually he let out a deep huff and threw back his blanket.

He checked his phone again. Nothing from Yumi or Mitsuko.

His stomach churned and pinched, loudly exclaiming its emptiness to the room. He reckoned he should at least check what food he had in the room.

A swirling thickness sat in his head, most heavily by his eardrums, as he hoisted himself up from the futon. He eyed it from above, knowing that he should probably roll it up and put it away, but he had to be honest with himself; he’d probably crawl back into it as soon as he had some food in his belly. Sure, he had his PlayStation set up, but what better way was there to pass the day than by napping?

The dizziness passed after a moment of being vertical.

He yawned and rubbed at the pain that lingered just below his ribcage, hand still inside his shirt as gravity tugged it back down.

His ‘kitchen’ was just a stovetop and a sink at the opposite side of the room, with a single open shelf built into the wall. He had nothing up there, besides a bottle of olive oil he’d bought for himself, plus some mirin, miso paste, and soy sauce that Yumi had gifted him when he’d moved out. She’d been optimistic that he’d start cooking once he had his own place.

If she could see him now, her blood pressure would have been through the roof.

Kazu picked up the tub of miso paste, wondering how it would taste if he dipped his finger inside and then stuck it in his mouth. The lid stuck for a moment as he undid it. His lips pressed together in a thin line of consideration. People in movies did it all the time, with peanut butter… No. This wasn’t the same thing.

If Yumi had been there and heard his thoughts, she would have disowned him by now.

Next, he checked the fridge, shivering as he crouched down into the cool air it expelled. His expression was one of pure misery as he gazed upon the desolate landscape inside, and his stomach let out a sound loaded with just as much misery.

He scanned the bottle of ketchup, a few beers that Kota had left there one night before stumbling home, a tub of corn butter, and an old packet of chashu pork that he’d intended to use but was well past its expiry date by now.

He felt like such a baby as he trudged back towards his futon. Any person with a gram of dignity would have been fine with missing a meal or two, right? Especially for the sake of making sure a virus didn’t get contracted by someone older or less able to fight it – but Kazu wasn’t used to missing meals. He was used to Yumi’s cooking, which arrived on the table at precisely six a.m. every morning, and seven p.m. every evening. He used to eat instant noodles for lunch all the time, but since he’d moved out, he constantly forgot to replenish his stock.

And now he was going to waste away, forgotten by the outside world.

Yumi would have clicked her tongue and called him dramatic. Mitsuko might have used the phrase, “little bitch”.

He flopped down on top of his sheets after grabbing the remote control for the TV. Thinking about his sisters made him realise that he hadn’t checked his phone lately. He picked it up, realising that if he’d had his life together, he could easily have used Uber Eats. He’d have McDonald’s fries, gyudon, sushi, whatever he wanted, right at his fingertips…

… If he’d been bothered to set up his apartment’s Wifi before now. Or, if he hadn’t watched Twitch livestreams every night for the past few weeks and burned through his mobile data plan… Fuck! Being an independent adult was hard.

All he had was text messaging. And the only contacts he had that were that old-school were for his two sisters.

His heart skipped a beat as he unlocked his phone.

          Message from Mitsuko

          Received: 12:32

          R U OK?

He laughed under his breath, his chest loosening with the relief from a tension he hadn’t even been fully aware of. So, he hadn’t been forgotten about in his little shoebox apartment!

He began to type, before he clicked his tongue and erased the characters. He held his thumb over the “languages” option on his phone’s keyboard and began to type again.

            Message to Mitsuko

           Sent: 12:40

           Help me! >.<

He let his phone rest at the base of his rib cage and stretched his arms up over his head. He shouldn’t have slept all day; no wonder his body was aching.

His phone suddenly vibrated, and for a second, he wasn’t sure if it wasn’t his stomach causing the sensation. Kazu grabbed the phone, surprised to see that Mitch had already replied, in Japanese this time.

          Message from Mitsuko

          Received: 12:41

          どうした

          (Translation: “What’s up?”)

          Message to Mitsuko

          Sent: 12:31

          腹減った…

          (Translation: “I’m hungry” – a version mainly used by boys.)

He tapped out a second message, explaining that his co-worker was sick and that he wasn’t sure if he was carrying the virus or not.

She didn’t reply immediately, like she had before. She was probably working, or hanging out with her boyfriend. It also wasn’t unlike Mitch to let her phone die in the middle of the day. Kazu bitterly wished it had been Yumi that had reached out to him instead. Why had he been cursed with dealing with the less reliable sister?

He picked up the TV remote again, and rolled over on his side to face the TV.

He didn’t have many channels, but maybe there would be a mind-numbing game show on? Once he found one, it didn’t take long for him to wriggle back under the covers, hug his pillow to his cheek, and drift off again to the sound of game show contestants scrabbling for balance on top of a pile of boxes.

___

He blinked as the ceiling came into view. Darker now.

Kazu’s belly was growling. With a flash of annoyance, he grumbled wordlessly. His stomach had woken him again! It was getting difficult not to feel personally attacked. Why couldn’t his body make up for the lack of food with the abundance of sleep he’d gotten today?

He’d hitched his t-shirt up in his sleep and rested his hand across his aching middle, fingers curled as though he’d been scratching it or massaging it. He rubbed a fleeting circle into the warm flesh and tossed his blanket back.

He was so thirsty now, too. At least he always remember to pay his water bills.

He groaned and peeled himself up from the futon, staggering as he rose from the floor. He grabbed a coffee mug he’d gotten at Daiso and filled it with water from the kitchen sink, gulping it all down slowly. His belly gurgled as the water sloshed into it, and he smacked his lips as he put the empty glass down.

The TV was still on, but the programme had changed to a quiz show. Kazu turned down the volume, keeping it switched on for background noise and company. He didn’t want to hear how many general knowledge questions he didn’t know the answers to.

He rubbed at his stiff neck and paced the floor. He couldn’t be sure that the dizziness and general discomfort in his body were being caused by hunger; maybe he was coming down with that virus after all. It was still a good idea to stay inside, just in case.

But in the meantime, what to do about the rumbling in his stomach?

He jolted as he realised his phone was buzzing, the screen glinting brightly in the dwindling light of his room. He stumbled over to his futon and snatched it up, instantly swiping towards the answer button when he saw the name.

“Hai?”

“Rokku o kaijoshite.”

“Mitsuko?”

“Hai.”

Kazu’s head turned as he heard his sister’s voice coming from outside of his door, as well as through the phone. He rushed over to undo the lock, as she’d asked, and then paced all the way back so that he wouldn’t breathe near her.

She opened the door and stepped into his genkan.

Her long, black hair was pulled into two ponytails, and she wore a black, woven mask across her lower face. Kazu felt bad that he didn’t have any masks close to hand. Another item to add to the shopping list that existed vaguely in the back of his head.

She laid a white grocery store bag on his floor, just beyond the genkan. There was another bag in her other hand, a blue-and-white striped bento bag that was probably foil-lined to keep its contents warm.

“Yatta!” Kazu whispered giddily, as though whispering would prevent a transmissible virus from reaching his sister from ten paces away.

She pointed towards the plastic shopping bag and muttered something about stopping by the grocery store for some basic items, like eggs and bread. He immediately wanted to ask her if she’d gotten his pizza chips, but reckoned it’d be better not to push his luck right now.

She laid the insulated bento bag down a little more gently. “Bastian wa tsukurimashita.”

Kazu’s stomach practically screamed with a renewed feeling of impatience. Mitsuko’s boyfriend was a chef, and his food was better than most meals he’d ever eaten in restaurants. He was even better at cooking than Yumi, although Kazu knew that neither he nor Mitch would ever say so in front of their oldest sister.

“Mata ne.” Mitsuko nodded and turned around to open the door to leave. Kazu waited about five seconds before he hurried to the door, carefully stepping around the bags and poking his head out into the hallway.

“Mitsuko,” he shout-whispered, hoping not to disturb any of his neighbours.

She turned around, the soles of her chunky black boots squeaking on the floor.

He broke into a grin, realising how worryingly close he was to bursting into tears. “Arigato! Bastian mo.”

She lifted a hand to wave goodbye before continuing towards the stairs. 

“Eat, idiot,” she said at normal volume. These weren’t her neighbours; she felt no need to keep her voice down.

“Okay,” he laughed, ducking back inside and locking up his door again. He immediately snatched up the insulated bag, deciding he’d put away the groceries later. Bastian had boxed up some white rice, grilled beef rib meat, and pickled vegetables. Kazu retreated to his futon again, sitting on top of the covers this time and crossing his legs as he laid out the individual pieces of Tupperware.

The rice still held a lot of its original warmth, and looked like it would crumble apart beautifully as soon as it was scooped up. The meat glistened with juices and seasoning, almost making drool run out the corners of Kazuhito’s mouth as he removed the lid from it.

Either Bastian or Mitsuko had even thrown in a set of disposable chopsticks, which was great, since Kazu didn’t think he had any clean ones.

The TV was still on, and Kazu turned up the volume slightly, grateful for the company of the quiz show’s host and contestants. Who cares if he didn’t know the answers to any of the questions? Maybe he’d learn something new.

He told himself he should get a sofa as soon as possible, or even just a kotatsu table that he could sit at. He’d never eaten nice, homemade food at his apartment before, so he’d never minded never having a proper eating space, but he suddenly wished his surroundings could have done Bastian’s cooking justice.

But there was no point at all in feeling bad about that right now. If he could take just one piece of wisdom away from today, it was that he couldn’t get his life together on an empty stomach.

Kazuhito briefly joined his hands before ripping the chopsticks from their plastic wrapping, his fingers shaking and his stomach twisting in anticipation.

“Ittadakimasu!”

[luckyjak]

fic: like 80/20 on the kinsey scale

Summary: Modern/College AU. Caleb sleeps with Essek and panics about his sexuality. Is he gay? Bi? Straight with exceptions? Beau gets to be his Obi-Gay Kenobi. Jester is there to look hot and paint Caleb’s nails. A story about friendship and identity, mostly.

Ships: Shadowgast, hints of Widomauk, past Caleb/Astrid, hints of Beau/Jester, one line of Jester/Cali, one line of Jester/the Bright Queen

There was a knock on her door. “Beauregard.” Another knock. “Beauregard.” Another knock. “Beaur--”

She slammed the door open. “What, Caleb? It’s--” she beadily looked over at the alarm clock before groaning, her face in her hands. “9:30 in the morning, fuck.”

“Ja, I know. I’ve already gone to my 8 am class. I need your help.”

“Can it wait an hour?” Despite her words, she opened the door wider to let him in, knowing he’d follow her. She made a beeline to the tiny keurig on top of her dorm minifridge and set about making a cup of coffee. “Maybe two?”

“I was nice and let you sleep this long, all things considered. As my closest queer friend who isn’t currently in Japan, you are obligated to help me. Please help me.” He flopped down onto her bed, face down into her pillow, curling around it needfully. “I’m having a full-blown gay panic attack, Beau.”

She rolled her eyes and dug around her and Jester’s things, looking for a coffee cup. She finally pulled one out that wasn’t clean, but wasn’t as disgusting as some of the others. “For the last time, finding Molly hot doesn’t make you gay, it makes you human. His gender is a question mark and shouldn’t be counted. I find Molly hot and I’m a capital L lesbian, so--”

“I slept with Essek last night.” Caleb mumbled into the pillow, his face bright red from what little of it Beau could see.

Essek? Essek Essek Essek--who the fuck was Essek? She’d heard the name before, but she couldn’t place who it was. It did sound masculine, though. Maybe there was a point to Caleb’s panic after all. 

It was only as she went to open the mini-fridge to grab cream for her coffee that she glanced at Jester’s schedule (9 am MWF, Intro to Physics, Kryn/Thelyss, Roshana hall 311) that her eyes widened with realization.

“Hot boy? Hot boy from the group chat?” She screeched, turning to Caleb, her coffee abandoned. “Essek Thelyss, the hot TA you and Jester have been obsessed with all semester? The one in the wheelchair? The one even fucking Reani is talking about now? That Essek Thelyss? You fucked him?”

Caleb nodded, his head still buried in the pillow.

“Oh my god,” Beau jumped in bed with Caleb, tackling him briefly. She then sat up straight, leaning with her back against the wall. “Tell me everything. Wait. Not everything. I don’t want to hear about dicks touching. But everything else is fair game.”

Slowly Caleb grinned at her, coming out from behind the pillow. He checked his phone quickly before he scooched up so Beau wasn’t sitting on his legs anymore, leaning against the wall as well. “I’m glad you are taking this seriously, Beauregard.”

“Cut me some slack, dude, I just woke up,” she yawned to prove her point. “Start at the beginning.”

“I took him up on the tutoring session that he offers--”

“The ones you don’t need?”

“I need them, just--not as much as I pretend to,” Caleb checked his phone again before he rubbed the back of his head. “You are distracting me.”

“Sorry dude.”

“Anyway, I went to tutoring, and then we started talking, about life and not just about physics, and he asked if I wanted to go get a drink, and I thought, you know, Astrid dumped me a year ago, I haven’t dated anyone else ever in my life, I don’t even know if I’m gay, or bi, or straight but appreciative--”

They had spent a long time talking about that, actually--when Molly had been around, he had dragged whoever was nearby and willing to the university’s Gay-Straight Alliance meetings, which usually consisted of the Mighty Nein and one or two other friends, like Cali and Shakaste. Molly was real good at making them talk about gay stuff, like identity and labels and experimenting, stuff like that. It helped that most of them were queer in some way: Fjord and Nott were mostly straight but good allies, Caduecus was asexual, Yasha, Jester, and Molly were all bi, Beau was a big ol’ lesbian, and Caleb?

Caleb was a question mark. He had, in his own words, only ever dated Astrid in his small podunk town in Zemni Fields, and so didn’t really know what label, if any, applied to him. He had admitted to the group that he found some men attractive, and Molly had argued that that was enough to be bi, but Caleb had hesitated.

...Man, she missed Molly. Stupid fucker had to go and move to fucking Japan in an area with shitty internet service, and thus, sometimes felt like he might as well be dead to them.

“--But I thought, one drink wouldn’t hurt, right?” He sat up on the bed, looking at Beau with a mischievous look on his face. “I must confess, we did not end up getting drinks, Beauregard.”

“Oh?” Beau grinned at him. “What did you end up doing instead, Caleb?” she teased.

“We made out in his car for an hour,” Caleb’s face was as red as his hair, but he didn’t seem embarrassed or ashamed. In fact, there was a sort of confident smugness to Caleb as he told his story, like he was proud of his little tryst. “Then he invited me to his apartment, where I had a panic attack in his bathroom. After he managed to get me to calm down, we proceeded to have the best sex of my entire life--”

She held her fist out, which he bumped gingerly.

“And when I woke up in his bed this morning, I had another panic attack, left him a note with my phone number, and snuck out before he got up. Went to my 8 am class, didn’t hear a single word Professor Wacco said all hour, and then I came here,” he pulled his phone out, checking it anxiously. “And he still hasn’t texted me, and I want him to text me, and I don’t know what any of this means, and I need your help.”

“Help me Obi-Gay Kenobi, I’m your only help?”

“I still haven’t seen Star Wars, but I know enough to know that was a reference.”

“We’re gonna have to fix that one day. Alright,” she refocused her legs in the crisscross, reaching over and snatching Caleb’s phone out of his hands. “First things first, you gotta stop checking this. Dude is teaching Jester’s class right now, so he’s probably not on his phone. Hell, he may not have even seen your note yet, depending on how rushed he felt he was in the morning. I know I don’t always notice booty notes until way later, and he might be the same way.”

She put Caleb’s phone in her pocket, which he immediately protested. “Beau--”

“As soon as it vibrates I’ll hand it over dude, but you’ve got to calm down. Let’s figure you out first and then we can figure out Pretty Boy later.”

“Hot boy,” Caleb mumbled, but didn’t argue. 

“Whatever. Second, and I hate asking this because I really want to know nothing about how dudes have sex with each other, but was it like, hand jobs or blow jobs or--”

“His cock was in my ass, Beau,” Ah, the red on his face was from embarrassment, okay. “And it was amazing, and I’ve never come that hard before ever, and I’m re-evaluating my entire life because of it.”

“First off, props to you for bottoming for your first ever gay experience,” she held her fist out again for him to bump, which he did. “As a fellow bottom I’d like to welcome you to our ranks, we are a proud and noble people, etcetera etcetera.”

He put his head in a pillow. “Beauregard.”

“Second, you never do anything half-way, do you? Couldn’t you have, like, I don’t know, watched gay porn for a bit before you decided to try anal with your TA?”

Caleb shook his head. “I don’t like porn. It’s--I find it vulgar. And demeaning towards women. And I’m afraid I’m going to get a computer virus. I’d rather read.” His face was still red, but at least he’d lowered the pillow. 

“Your smut club with Jester.”

“It’s not a smut clu--well, I guess it sort of is because Jester picks out all the books, but it was always meant to be more than smut books!” He held the pillow close to his chest like he might his cat.

Beau ignored him, holding three fingers out in front of his face. “Third, remember what Molly said about how labels are meaningless unless you want them to mean something? That’s still true. You don’t have to be gay or straight or bi unless you want to.”

He turned his head, looking away from Beau and instead at the messy desk/kitchen area of her joint dorm room with Jester. 

“I think I am gay, though,” he said quietly, still not looking at her. “I--I really enjoyed myself last night. If that’s how sex with men usually is then that’s what I want. I don’t want to have sex with women, I don’t think. Not unless it’s the right woman.” He groaned into her pillow, pulling his brown hoodie over his head so that it covered his eyes. “Which makes me bi.”

“It’s the Kinsey scale,” Beau leaned back and grinned. “100 is attracted to men, 0 is attracted to women. Where do you fall?”

“Like, 80/20?” He pulled his hoodie back again. “I loved Astrid, but I feel if what happened with Essek is what sex with men feels like, then my attraction to her was the exception, not the rule.” He groaned and lowered his head again. “But what if Essek is the exception instead? What if I don’t actually like men but I like this man. Sheisse, this is so hard. I never worried about this back in Zemni Fields. Don’t--don’t most people figure this out earlier?”

She squeezed his shoulder in what she hoped was a reassuring manner. “Look, dude, it’s fine. You can be an 80/20 bi. Or you can be a 50/50 bi. Or you can call yourself gay, or queer, or any other label you’d like. And if you end up dating a woman, the gay police aren’t going to show up and take away your licence or anything. That’s not how it works.”

“It’s just confusing, I guess,” he flopped his head back, banging it against the wall slightly. “I always thought I had it figured out, and then it turns out I didn’t. I’m twenty four years old and I’m in graduate school, I should know what I am and what I want already. Most people figure this out when they are teenagers,” he bit his lip hesitantly, as Caleb often did when anxious. “When--when did you realize you liked women, Beau?”

“When I was like, 11. But it doesn’t even matter. So you are a late bloomer? Who gives a shit. This stuff is hard and complicated, and nobody has all the answers. So you just do you, man.”

He smiled at her, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. “Thanks, Beaur--”

There was a clicking noise at the door, and then Jester was home, swinging the door wide open and letting the sunshine in. “Good morning beautiful! It’s a beautiful morning outside and--oh! You are already awake!” She gasped, throwing her backpack at her desk with little care. “And Caleb’s here too!” She jumped on Beau’s bed, squeezing herself between Beau and Caleb. She wrapped her arms around Caleb with a tight squeeze. “Good morning Caleb!”

“...Good morning, Jester.”

“What are you doing here so early? Is everything okay?”

Before he could answer, Beau jumped in ahead. “Caleb slept with your TA last night and is experiencing his gay awakening.”

Caleb rolled his eyes as Jester gasped. “Thanks for outing me, Beau.”

“Oh shit, I didn’t even think about it, dude, I’m sorry--”

“It’s fine,” he reached over and hugged Jester again. “I did sleep with Essek though.”

“Essek’s gay?” Jester flopped out of Caleb’s embrace into Beau’s lap. Beau started running her fingers through Jester’s hair out of habit. “Of course he is. He has well-manicured nails and a skincare routine. I should have known. Beau, why is my type apparently hot gay men?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you need to date more women, then.”

From where Jester couldn’t see, Caleb wiggled his eyebrows towards Jester and made a scissoring motion with his fingers; Beau threw a pillow at him.

“Maybe you’re right. Last girl I dated was Cali before she transferred. Still, congrats on being gay, Caleb. I always knew you were one of us.” Jester yawned and stretched, curling up like a cat in Beau’s lap. “I need to redo my nails.”

“I need Essek to text me,” Caleb groaned, tossing the pillow back at Beau. “He hasn’t texted, right?”

Beau pulled out the phone to double check, but there were no new messages. “Sorry, bud.”

“If it makes you feel better, he was like, super distracted during class. We ended up getting out early because Professor Kryn needed to talk to him, and you know she only gets involved when things are super bad. Apparently they caught some Dwendlian kids on campus? Whatever,” she leaned back and yawned against Beau. “Professor Kryn is so beautiful, you guys. I don’t know where she gets all of her clothes but they are all so gorgeous and she is so hot. I know she’s like a thousand or whatever but that woman can still hit it, like, any time she wants to--”

“Dwendlian kids?” Caleb asked, his brow wrinkled in confusion. “Like Beau and I?”

“Some other group, I think. Essek called them Scouragers or something? I wasn’t really listening; I was daydreaming that I was a moth and I got to eat some like, delicious curtains. Hey, do you think that’s a metaphor for anything? Anyway--”

Beau wasn’t listening: instead, she was watching Caleb. A lifetime ago, Caleb had been a Scourager, and it hadn’t ended well for him. It was part of why he was at Xhoraus now. Beau expected to see a bit of panic on Caleb’s part, but he mostly just looked relieved.

“Good,” he said, interrupting Jester’s train of thought. “They followed up on the lead we brought them.” 

Oh, right. The text message Jester found from the phone that had gotten left behind in the basement they cleaned out for Zorth. It had been written in Zemnian, so none of them could read it but Caleb, and he had insisted that they turn the phone in to Professor Kryn herself.

“We good, Caleb?”

“Better than before,” he breathed in deeply, then placed a hand on Jester’s knee. “Jester, would you like to paint my nails for me?”

“Sure! What color? I’ve got pink, and blue, oh, and Molly let me have this really cool purple color before he left, and red--”

“How about a rainbow?” He offered, studying his nails with quiet contemplation. “Like the flag.”

Jester gasped. “Caleb I love it,” she squealed, jumping off the bed to run to her dresser. “Oh my gosh, we have got to bring you to Pride this year, you will love it! Well, actually you might hate it because you hate crowds and stuff, but it’s super fun. Oh my gosh, I get to use this yellow nail polish! I never use yellow because Beau hates yellow but I gotta use it if I want to give accurate Pride nails. Which shade of red do you think?”

Beau wasn’t listening, because at that moment Caleb’s phone had vibrated.  It was Essek. Sorry I didn’t text sooner or see you off this morning--it’s been a hell of an eventful morning so far. I’d love to tell you more over coffee if you are free later? ;)

Caleb hadn’t noticed she pulled his phone out; instead, his attention and his arm were being held captive by Jester, who had started painting his thumb a glittery red. 

“Hey loverboy,” she teased, causing Caleb’s head to whip around towards her. “You better let Jester do well on your nails, because you’ve got a date later.” She waved his terrible old phone around the air.

The fact that Jester and Caleb let out an identical high pitched noise at the exact same time was going to be the highlight of her day. She could already tell.

[the-firebird69]

Did you hear them shortly and 5,000 horsepower it should be easily able to go about a few thousand miles an hour at least and it should be able to keep up and the style and design at those fees it should be able to handle enough to stay in a straight line so we're off to the desert hot flats salt flats sorry is it salt flats and we thought Vegas but he's thinking the salt last but his rethinking it back to Vegas which are the hot flats and I was right and you didn't know to call the hot plants it's a lot of things he's not aware of because he's deceptive to you you always fall for it and he goes around making fun of you because you correct his words but his concepts are way better and they are they make fun of you too cuz you missed the concept for your stupid word hot versus salt and now corky hasn't missed it but he's got it wrong salt is not you in this case but okay. No you don't you don't have my permission it's a man and a woman they deserve their car but I want you to try and copy one cuz I'm tired of hearing from you that you're the balls if you can't copy one of those including the engine then you're fired. Okay well you have to try and will and Bill want to so finally the engine to be curious but he said was to have a pressure release valve on the intake because your motor will blow if they don't have control over the pressure and it's so much pressure and doesn't look like the regular well enough that they probably should do that and they did and they don't blow the motor anymore. Billy I'm like you guys want to work with you you have a class act you came up with the whole car and it's very high-tech and a new motor which is very impressive to them and after your secrets but they want to know what you'd want to work on with them and secrets and stuff okay yeah you're going to say about transformers so the laughing so who's going to come down here the devil color or the Devil himself is an out so if you unless he's out by the time we have the race it would be I think Mephastopheles and it's the first son of the Devil and Lilith off planet.

We accept the race they say of course and we want to see who this fella is or what he is or what he looks like and we see a picture of him and it's been circulated around and he has been seen and he is evil as hell you've seen him crush people as a skinny guy without any trouble but he's not there to crush us he says and he's under my directive if you don't try and harm them and capturing then you'll be fine is there for the race just as we are out there in Las Vegas even though it's not a true gentleman's area it is an area where the race is valid and as a race and then we will vacate the process we appreciate that it's the word and we won't do anything and you guys home and it usually works out even with that massive massive idiotic race with the Hard knock kicker people which was crazy as hell but they are a group and they're not aggressive to each other and it was fun to watch it was amazing to watch amazing so we should probably do that afterwards to cover our tracks have a Harley versus Hard knock race all classes you can pick the day you said Saturday and we agree I'll give you time to prep and test and blow a few stacks laugh yeah Billium and they're going to find you and they want to help out if they can they accept and we will be there. Mac wants to fund you and they accept and what Las Vegas and you guys to get together and come up with a name for the type of race because it is a momentous race there's hasn't been one like this for quite a while it was with the fly cars I think yes no they say with long cars and other odd cars that couldn't do it so it's kind of a romantic because it's in the right format it's the right type of motor and it's right type of car for the race and we are in that LeMans class race these days and your car would make it into it with just a few races like this and this will probably get it in with no questions asked and ours as well cuz this is a new car that he's wanted to race and it's a challenge and if we could of course get Jesus there to sing where the champions and you can say it's you and we'll see it's us but it is my brother and he says no not him then he says what about Brian Gerard he's always considered himself to be a brother and he says we think so but we'll strive to get JC out for it and Max says we will and he's getting loose now like a loose tooth and he shows hasn't show an image and it's gross he laughs he's still a young man be nice if I have something to go down there with like a city I can fly out rent a fitty. But I don't know if I'd stay in Vegas because there's so many gangland shootings but really I added all of the month throughout the whole entire soprano series and watch it all at once it was a bit much we agree for crying out loud.

We accept and we're hoping this guy has a place because I'd like to see you with a house goes because this is intense they're losing the Midwest and it's too an Angel and it's one of him and he's the guy that we've been struggling against and we thought it was Ken we thought it was his dad George or Tommy F maybe no. Tommy F says no and tell me that you have a casino that you can easily put me up in and I can rent a fitty there. Who are you there renting a fitty why the hell are you a jailer. No it's just that we should move you around it causes problems for us not really fix things in the past but okay we will sit here and take it like a man okay Tommy you've had enough so they know you taught me off Tommy f... And yes I raise Mr Chris and I'm pretty good at so I'm going to have to try and figure out how their motor is made and the car too because it's intense and you say that all they did was make it an actual high performance car that you have motorcycle that are in ships and so forth that's true so I'm going to go ahead and work on one and it's not open class it's going to be gas and certain type of gas motor per the requirements of LeMans and really to me now the man sounds like some sort of lounge chair and laid back and slow compared to maybe Indy which sounds like Indiana Jones it's true too LeMans is about the same speed that sounds weird I seen your cars they go flying off the road to go so fast and I don't stay down very well but if they did they might crush the stuff so we're going to make hours out of titanium and they're going to too they say and it's all it's going to be a huge race and we're wondering if other people in virus can make it down there and maybe make it into an event Salazar has a car and says he has a new one now and has Goddess Wife has one too that's new. All of us are going to be there now and I think you're going to have company devel... I appreciate it and I'm getting respect too and I'm getting funding which I need doesn't support really they have facilities they support me with them and their test facilities and they're also supply and repair and storage and protection all that is important you're trying to do something like this and they're going to have their own cars too but they're really interested in the motor and I see how it is I should patent it and sell it is what he says and I might go ahead and do that and hold the patent as well because they're going to find out a scanning and so forth so I think I might do that and also make some conditions because they'll make it for resale this is smart guy and it'll probably work maybe 50% or better or who knows what a percentage is better than nothing and being mad and turning into Infinity the Chuck beef head person that everybody thinks of doing all the time it's a great idea and I can also try and sell the car on the open market and I have offers already and he says it's really easy you can sell the car for enough to build several factories already a lot of people want to have and you can build a fly conversion it's nothing illegal about it because you can copy us and he says well that's great so he's going to have to do that and Sebastian still has his plants

Thor Freya

You said most of it but he got a little tired

Hera Zues

Olympus

[pope-francis-quotes]

23rd March >> (@ZenitEnglish By Deborah Castellano Lubov) #PopeFrancis #Pope Francis The Three Elements Needed for Praying Well–Pope Francis Reminds at Santa Marta (Full Text of Morning Homily)

Faith, Perseverance and Courage Are Key, Stresses Jesuit Pope

The three elements needed for praying well…

Pope Francis told them to faithful worldwide to welcome his invitation, during his private daily Mass at his residence Casa Santa Marta, again offered for the victims and those affected by the Coronavirus, praying especially today for those struggling financially at this time.

“Let us pray today for those persons who are beginning to experience economic problems because of the pandemic, because they cannot work,” Francis said, observing: “All of this affects the family. We pray for those people who have this problem.”

In his homily, the Holy Father reflected on today’s Gospel reading from St. John, which tells the healing of the functionary’s son in Cana in Galilee (John 4:43-54), reported Vatican News.

After he asked for his the Lord to heal his son, Francis recalls that Jesus “reproves him a bit – everyone – but him as well…. Instead of staying silent, the functionary continues, saying ‘Lord, come down before my child dies.’”

Following this, the Lord reassures the worried father that his child would survive.

Exploring how we effectively speak to God, and pray, Francis said three elements are required, namely faith, perseverance, and courage.

The Masses in Francis’ chapel normally welcome a small group of faithful, but due to recent measures’ taken by the Vatican, are now being kept private, without their participation.

It was announced in recent days that the Pope would have these Masses, in this period, be available to all the world’s faithful, via streaming on Vatican Media, on weekdays, at 7 am Rome time.

This comes at a time too when the Italian bishops’ conference has canceled public Masses throughout the nation, until at least April 3rd, following guidelines put out by Italian authorities. The entire country is on lockdown. Many countries worldwide now are increasingly taking precautions against the virus.

In addition to Santa Marta, the Vatican is taking other steps to discourage crowds and keep people safe. They are televising the Pope giving privately, from the papal library, his weekly Angelus and General Audience addresses.

Moreover, the Vatican Museums are now closed, along with the Vatican’s other similar museums. There have also been various guidelines implemented throughout the Vatican, to prevent the spread of the virus.

To date, one person, an external visitor, has been tested positive for Coronavirus in the Vatican. The five people the individual had contact with, are being quarantined.

For anyone interested, the Pope’s Masses at Santa Marta can be watched live and can be watched afterward on Vatican YouTube. Below is a link to today’s Mass. Also, a ZENIT English translation of the Pope’s full homily can be read below:

***

FULL HOMILY

This father asks for the health of his son (Cf. John 4:43-54). The Lord rebukes all a bit, and also him: “Unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe” (Cf. v. 48). Instead of being quiet and silent, the official, goes forward and says to Him: “Sir, come down before my child dies” (v. 49). And Jesus answers him: “Go, your son will live” (v. 50).

They are the three things that are necessary to do a good prayer. The first is faith: “if you don’t have faith . . . “And so many times, prayer is only oral, with the mouth, but it doesn’t come from the faith of the heart; or it’s a weak faith . . . We think of another father, that of the possessed son, when Jesus answers: “All things are possible to him who believes”; the father who says clearly: “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Cf. Mark 9:23-24). Faith in prayer — to pray with faith, be it when we pray outside [in a place of worship], be it when we come here, and the Lord is there: do I have faith, or is it a habit? Let’s be attentive in prayer: we must not fall into the habit without the awareness that the Lord is there, that I am speaking with the Lord and that He is capable of solving the problem. The first condition for a true prayer is faith.

The second condition, which Jesus Himself teaches us, is perseverance. Some ask but grace doesn’t come: they don’t have this perseverance, because at bottom they have no need, or don’t have faith. And Jesus Himself teaches us the parable of that man who goes to his neighbour at midnight to ask for bread: perseverance in knocking on the door (Cf. Luke 11:5-8). Or the widow, with the iniquitous judge: and she insists and insists and insists: it’s perseverance (Cf. Luke 18:1-8). Faith and perseverance go together, because if you have faith, you can be sure that the Lord will give you what you ask for. And if the Lord makes you wait, knock, knock, knock <and> in the end, the Lord gives the grace. However, the Lord doesn’t do this to make Himself desired, or because He says “better that he wait,” no. He does so for our good, so that we take it seriously. To take prayer seriously, not as parrots: bla, bla, bla and nothing else. Jesus Himself will rebuke us: “Do not be as the pagans that believe in the efficacy of prayer <with> words, so many words” (Cf. Matthew 6:7-8). No, it’s perseverance <needed> there; it’s faith.

And the third thing that God wants in prayer is courage. Someone might think: is courage necessary to pray and to be before the Lord? It is, the courage to be there asking and going on, rather, almost . . . almost — I don’t want to say a heresy — but almost as though threatening the Lord. As Moses’ courage before God, when God wanted to destroy the people and make him the head of another people, he says: “No. I will stay with the people” (Cf. Exodus 32:7-14). Courage, the courage of Abraham, when he negotiates Sodom’s salvation: “And if there were 30, and if there were 25, and if there were 20 . . . “: There was courage there (Cf. Genesis 18:22-33). This virtue of courage is so necessary, not only for apostolic action but also for prayer.

Finally, the Pope ended the celebration with Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction, inviting the faithful to make a Spiritual Communion.

Here is the Prayer Recited by the Pope

I prostrate myself at your feet, O my Jesus and I offer You the repentance of my contrite heart, which abases itself in its nothingness in your holy Presence. I adore you in the Sacrament of your Love, the Eucharist. I desire to receive You in my poor abode, which offers You my heart; while waiting for the happiness of Sacramental Communion, I want to possess You in spirit. Come to me, O my Jesus, that I may come to You. May your Love inflame my whole being in life and in death. I believe in You, I hope in You, I love You. Amen.

[ZENIT translation of Pope Francis’ full homily at Santa Marta]

23rd MARCH 2020 12:31POPE'S MORNING HOMILY

[iblamedan]

Trouble at the RSPCA, BBC Panorama Program

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On Thursday 3rd of August the Beeb, shown a program – Panorama – Trouble at the RSPCA – this program was advertised showing issues with ‘being heavy-handed by prosecuting them and taking away their animals” also within the 30 min program was shown ex-staff of the RSPCA and ex-staff of the Charity Commission.

To go into detail the program shown three examples of people accusing the charity of being heavy handed with prosecutions – I have no doubt the RSPCA were correct to prosecute in all three cases! Since the program the RSPCA has released statements on each case – which the BBC should have sought prior to publishing the program and explained in better detail.

62 Cats in one house

62 Cats – don’t protect this persons feelings – that womans was a hoarder – if provided with advice by the RSPCA (where she used to work, so knows what it takes) and that was ignored then yes she should have been prosecuted to reduce those numbers down. The woman is now refusing to accept the court conviction and trying to claim against the RSPCA – a ridiculous notion which her solicitors should have advised against due to cost – even when she knows the RSPCA were advised by her VET1 of the situation! I play with my cat at least an hour a day and she has FIV and herpes, something some of those cats will have also had. All cats should be monitored for temp, weight, toilet habits and how much she is eating, as they don’t show signs of distress as easily as other animals – this couldn’t be done with SIXTY TWO of them along with other animals too!

Yaay maths time; let’s say you needed to spend just 10mins with each cat a day (be that grooming on a monday, weighing on a tues, claw clipping wed etc) thats 10.5 HOURS A DAY!!! That doesn’t even include feeding or litter cleaning and 10mins per day doing anything with a cat is not really enough, not to mention she had other “pets” too! Articles also state “She doesn’t have the inclination or the means to inoculate them”2 so the cats didn’t even have the needed vaccinations to protect them from the virus prevalent in the house!

The show implied it was just her and there were no others in the house with her to spread the tasks to, nor did the show or any other media advise of any paid help either. So unless this woman is some form of McFly then an average person wouldn’t be able to provide a suitable domestic environment. What if they were allowed out too, it makes no comment if they were house cats – how could you do any tasks needed and monitor 62 cats you didn’t even know if they’d been in the house, advertising as a ‘sanctuary’ you’d like to think they weren’t roaming the streets!!!

This is a clean cut case! Hoarding to the point of Cruelty is still Cruelty, regardless of intentions!

        Essentially what Panorama have done here is provide validity to people who have abused animals to say – i’m allowed to and shouldn’t be stopped. The BBC should not have allowed the program to air.

Trustees

too many allegations are thrown his way and I agree the governance doesn’t sound correct! He should step down to protect the charity from further disrepute coming from his involvement

Governance

changes since the 70s but only after charity had correclty gone through a governace review 34

Barristers – known people who have protected animal abusers – why the hell would the RSPCA not make complaints about someone who is supposed to have a moral requirement to uphold the law and the law is the Animal Welfare Act.

ex-CE of the Charity Commission involved in the show is not appropriate and not acceptable that a person in such a position involves themselves regarding a specific charity – along with putting their names to a program which tried to make animal abusers seem like they’re disadvantaged by prosecution.

Heavy handed with prosecutions – no chance – 1 in 200 prosecuted is nowhere near enough! Don’t be ridiculous!

Our investigation into the RSPCA with @johnsweeneyroar, now on iPlayer. https://t.co/W1cQ2oaHiV http://pic.twitter.com/1WmJsie6Qi

— Panorama (@BBCPanorama) August 4, 2017

  Sensitisation is poor reporting! This is clear from the advert directly after the program asking “Is it possible that a pill prescribed by your doctor can turn you into a killer?” – this question is clearly worded in a manner not suited to unbiased publishing and is the TV version of Clickbait! Its well known Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors remove some emotion, obviously, their main aim is to reduce depression and work by stopping serotonin from being reabsorbed – so it builds up within the body rather than being removed by the body. One of the most prescribed medications in america Prozac is an SSSI medication. Medication does not make people kill, medication removes the depression which held them back from killing and increases their emotional state and motivation to do what makes them happy, sadly some people are psychopaths – you cannot blame the medication but the services that went with it, anyone on high doses of medication or with severe depression should be receiving frequent therapy to guide them and make certain they’re not going down dangerous paths (even then most people who have a want to murder don’t go telling people about it!)  The author of this received much backlash on Twitter, and rightfully so – Correlation does not mean Causation – every journalist should have this tattooed on their wrist.

Transcript of the Program - Click Here

Tonight the animal owners who claimed that one of our best loved charities is being too hard on them. It is the way they handle things. It is their away or the highway. The British public backs the RSPCA to prosecute animal cruelty, but does it always get it right? To be told I was mistreating birds of prey has left me feeling absolutely broken. And is the charity so determined to succeed it ignores the human cost? It went on for years and years, and it ground me down. I still feel injured. Former RSPCA insiders worry there is chaos at the top. I personally think that the RSPCA commentary is not fit for purpose.

We ask is the world’s oldest animal charity doing its best to keep public trust? We love our animals. My dog is called Bertie. Shall we go for a run? He is going to be my sidekick on this investigation. Or is it the other way around? Where is the stick, Bertie? He’s half toy poodle and half whippet, so he will keep me on my toes. Sometimes… It feels like he’s the master and I’m the dog. Woofety woof woof woof. Some animals don’t get love and affection like Bertie. That is why we need the RSPCA. The RSPCA has a full-scale rescue service…

It has been standing up for animals since 1824. The RSPCA gets more than 100 million per year in donations and legacies. Its inspectors see some extremely distressing sights. From stray dogs shown in this campaign video, outright cruelty. All of these dogs, filmed by an inspector, died. Many of them are in rigor mortis already. The RSPCA prosecuted the dog breeders who did this. They didn’t go to jail but were banned for life from owning dogs. The charity’s most powerful weapon in protecting animals is bringing private prosecutions. But some animal owners complain it is being too heavy-handed. This is the RSPCA headquarters here in Sussex. Critics say the charity has long been too quick to prosecute animal owners and too aggressive. Three years ago in independent report took the charity to task over the way it prosecutes people. How much has changed?

Good morning. This is Bertie. Hello, Bertie. Steve Rainton has been displaying birds of prey for 20 years. He is now helped by his partner, Natalie. Amazing, we’ve had her for five years. Stand well back… Last year Steve and Natalie faced getting criminal records when they were prosecuted by the RSPCA. Good girl. Steve said it all started when somebody he knew took four birds from his farm. Worried the rest of the birds were at risk Steve took them home in cages for temporary safekeeping and rang the RSPCA. Originally we asked the RSPCA for some help. Where we were keeping the birds wasn’t safe and we needed somewhere else to keep the birds. What Steve didn’t know was that the RSPCA had received a complaint about him mistreating the birds. When inspectors called at his home he let them in. He wished he hadn’t. Once they were in they started taking photographs, you know, trying to gather evidence against me. And that’s the way I felt bullied by the RSPCA. RSPCA inspectors do not have powers of seizure, so they called the police who took Steve’s birds away. Steve was charged by the RSPCA with eight animal welfare offences. Natalie, who does not own the birds, also faced eight charges. They used my partner. They basically said they would drop all charges against my partner if I took the rap, basically. I’d never broken the law. I’ve never been in trouble. To be told I was mistreating birds of prey, it just left me feeling… Absolutely broken. Earlier this year magistrates cleared Steve and Natalie of two charges. The other 14 were dismissed. The RSPCA says it is because of police mistakes. The whole thing of them being there to help you, in my case, wasn’t the case. Up until the day they knocked on my front door while we saw them as a good charity. The RSPCA said it acted properly and lawfully throughout. There was sufficient evidence. And that it was in the public interest.

It says it prosecuted around 800 people last year, down by 50% in four years. If an RSPCA inspector investigates a complaint of cruelty, that person has less than one chance in 200 of being prosecuted. Certainly not trigger-happy. Most of it is now dealt with by way of advisory notices and warnings. In fact most of it is dealt with by a reasonable conversation on the doorstep. Giving reasonable advice. Reasonable people take reasonable advice. The RSPCA and its inspectors do good work. No question. And criticising a much loved animal charity may not make me popular. But what can happen to an animal owner if there is no reasonable conversation on the doorstep? If no advice is given?

Gwyn Protheroe farms over 5000 sheep in mid Wales. These sheepdogs are working animals. Without them he cannot do his job. Last year the RSPCA prosecuted Gwyn following the death of one of his dogs. She was a working dog. It’s not clear why she died. But she was thin and had been a small dog from birth. From the vet’s report and postmortem done by the RSPCA they found a problem with her liver and her heart. The dog lay unburied for two days. She died while Gwyn was working 60 miles away. An RSPCA inspector called the police, who removed the dead dog and two of the sheepdogs. The RSPCA said he hadn’t done enough to prevent the death and that living conditions were poor. He was charged with three animal welfare offences. It’s the way they handled things, you know? It is their way or the highway, basically, you know? The case took a year to come to court and had a big effect on the family. What was it like when he was charged? Scary. It wasn’t a nice feeling. I felt really bad for dad because he isn’t a bad person. He didn’t really, like, deserve it. What did you say to them? That it would all be all right? Which it was proved, wasn’t it? I’m sorry… A judge dismissed the case, saying Gwyn has considerable expertise as an animal owner and acted reasonably. How did you feel when that verdict came through not guilty on all counts? Relieved. A sense of justice. Because he was cleared the dogs should have been returned. But, extraordinary as it seems, they were not. RSPCA staff asked if they could keep the dogs and re-homed them. I got a phone call, she asked the question again, the people in the kennels have got attached to the dogs. The RSPCA said it kept hold of the dogs while it considered to appeal. It would be two months before they found out if they would get their dogs back. I couldn’t work out why they wanted to keep, again, prolonging the process of us getting the dogs back. You keep thinking everything is coming to a close. But it was like they were ripping the wound open again. The RSPCA says it was right to prosecute. And while some cases don’t succeed 92.5% of its prosecutions are successful.

There is very, very rigorous process by which the evidence is checked to make sure we meet the evidential test. We get the experts in, we depend on an independent veterinary opinion as to the degree of suffering. Once the matter goes to court it is for the magistrate to convict or acquit. Fighting animal cruelty is important but has the RSPCA sometimes gone too far? Barrister Jonathan Rich stopped defending RSPCA cases nine years ago. I gained a firm impression that I was really being personally targeted. It reached a stage where my involvement in cases was actually not helping my clients, because they would throw significant resources at any case in which I was involved. He also faced a number of professional misconduct complaints linked to animal welfare cases. Two from the RSPCA. I have seen a lot of the rough and tumble of the bar. But this was in an entirely different league. And it went on for years and years and years, and it ground me down. I still feel today, I still feel injured. None of the complaints succeeded. One from the RSPCA took eight years to be fully resolved. I got pretty low. I was treated for depression. I’m not embarrassed to say that. Do you still defend animal cases? If the RSPCA are involved I will not be appearing as an advocate. Which is a great shame, given the expertise I believe I brought. Barrister Sara-Lise Howe believes she has been singled out, too. She says the CPS was warned she wanted to undermine RSPCA private prosecutions. I have no doubt that they have been targeting me. I was 16 years in court, I’d never had these accusations. Just trying to represent my client. To get the court to look at the law. The RSPCA says the criticism to the CPS about Sara-Lise Howe was made in error and nnot at their request. It respects and upholds the vital role played by defence lawyers in testing the prosecution’s case. For the RSPCA to do its job properly it must be well run.

This June the Chief Executive Jeremy Cooper resigned. The second to do so in three years. Trouble at the top should be a worry for any charity. If I am a donor I want to know my money is going to be well spent. And the chances are significantly higher that my money as a donor is going to be well spent if the charity is well governed, well led, sound decisions are made. The RSPCA staff are overseen by 25 unpaid trustee is called the council. They are supposed to keep an eye on things, not run the show.

One of the key rules, really, is that trustees in a large charity shouldn’t really dabble in operational matters. That is for paid staff. But we’ve discovered that’s what’s been going on at the RSPCA. Chris Lawrence used to be the charity’s chief vet before he became a trustee. The RSPCA are essentially is a great organisation. Fantastic staff who work incredibly hard. But you come to a point where you have to say enough is enough, I can’t any longer support the way this is happening. I had real concerns about the way the RSPCA was being run at council level. He’s never spoken publicly about leaving the charity he loves. The Council found it really difficult to properly delegate. What does that mean? It means almost micromanagement. Chris Laurence resigned as a trustee last year. His fellow trustee, David Canavan, is still there. The RSPCA spends £50 million a year responding to complaints from the general public about abuse of animals. He’s speaking to MPs about fundraising. The two years, the RSPCA allowed him and another trustee to run the charity unpaid, while it was without a chief executive. For any charity, doing both jobs at the same time, for such a long time, would be a no-no. For a large charity, that is off the bscale, in terms of being so unusual. I find it difficult to see how a large charity could properly run itself if it doesn’t have a permanent chief executive who is independent from the nonexecutive trustee team. This is the Manchester Animal Hospital, the RSPCA’s busiest. It provides extremely subsidised neutering, micro-chipping, vaccinations, to quite a poor -ish area within Manchester. Three years ago, Steve Carter was asked to look at redistributing some of its vet services to branches across the North of England. Among them, Rochdale, 16 miles away. It was a branch that struggled financially. It tried to do the best it could, but it overextended itself. Steve Carter says getting more vet services could have helped Rochdale’s finances and says David Canavan was keen on the move. At the time, he was also an unpaid trustee of the Rochdale branch. That’s a conflict-of-interest, isn’t it? I believe it is. I made it very clear to trustees and two senior management that this was not a decision I could support in any way, shape or form. Steve feared it could have meant closure for the Manchester Animal Hospital. I did not want to see that provision deteriorate in any shape or form. That was one of the main reasons that I decided I had to leave the RSPCA. The RSPCA says it did discuss its Northern operations. No changes were made and there was never any suggestion the Manchester hospital would close. It says there was no improper interference by David Canavan and as acting chief executive he oversaw a period of stability and sound management.

Brighton, a stone’s throw from RSPCA HQ. We’ve been told that what happened here reveals more cracks behind the scenes. Nationally, the RSPCA has a policy against anyone importing dogs for commercial purposes. But here in Brighton, the local branch was re-homed scores of dogs from Spain and Portugal in apparent conflict with that policy. Around 150 dogs over three years were imported by another animal welfare organisation, and brought to these RSPCA kennels. They were then re-homed. The Brighton branch had lots of British Staffies, which are hard to home, and was keen to offer a mix of breeds. The RSPCA said the dogs were not being imported for commercial purposes. The RSPCA told us the Brighton branch didn’t profit from re-homing these animals, but we found out the issue did worry some staff. They couldn’t support others transporting animals hundreds of miles across Europe, when there were plenty of British dogs to help at home. Trustee David Canavan got involved in 2014. At the time he was also effectively running the charity. We understand that David Canavan told the branch that so long as 40% of the dogs in my kennels were brought to them by inspectors, they could fill the remaining space is how they wanted, providing the trustees and legal department didn’t object. The RSPCA said any suggestion David Canavan acted contrary to its policies is completely untrue. He referred the matter to the Chief Vet and the RSPCA revised its policy, so the branch had to get permission on a case-by-case basis. It says the branch was trying to help as many unwanted dogs as it could, and its main focus remains local animals. At the top is the RSPCA a smoothly running organisation? I personally think that the RSPCA, currently, is not fit for purpose. I think it stems from the background of counsel. I don’t think the government process and structure has moved on much since the 1970s. Wipe-out this is the headquarters of the Charity Commission, it’s the body charged with making sure our charities are up to snuff. It told Panorama that the RSPCA’s governance is below the standard it would expect from a modern charity. It is monitoring the trustees’ role in leading change will consider regulatory action if the required improvements aren’t made quickly enough. The RSPCA says its trustees are working with the Charity Commission to implement the recommendations of a recent independent review. The RSPCA has its own reform agenda.

It wants for more powers to investigate, so it has to rely less on the police. Its supporters say only the charity has the necessary expertise and resources to prosecute. Critics argue it should be left to the police. The type of cruelty that the public disapproves of is obvious. It doesn’t require a specialist organisation to prosecute. I’m on my way to see one of Sara-Lise Howe’s clients. Sarah Mellanby lost her appeal against conviction for seven animal welfare offences earlier this year. That some of my cats there. That’s Leonard and Elmo. Puff Daddy, Thomas O’Malley and that’s Hubert. Sarah used to a large home to shelter unwanted cats. So who have we got here? That is Lionel Blair. LAUGHTER I know, super hair. Dennis the Menace, Charles Worthington. Some people would say looking at this that you are a mad cat lady. Yes,

they probably would. Are you a mad cat lady? Guests. Where are your cats? I don’t have any. Four years ago she had more than 60. You had 60 cats, 62 cats. Isn’t that a bit crazy? Well, I’m too soft, I’m just too soft. They were unwanted cats and I was homing them. Some of the cats she took and had cat flu, which is contagious and can be nasty. I kept them and kept them comfortable. It’s not good, but they were alive, they were as well as they could be. The RSPCA, which made repeated visits, disagreed. It says some were emaciated, as well as cat flu others had problems with their eyes and teeth. And it says she failed to seek appropriate care from a vet. All her cats were removed and Sarah was tried and convicted. I think a lot of the people who have had problems with the RSPCA are people who would be described as vulnerable. The mad old lady who takes into many cats, they have got themselves into a mess for caring, because they care too much. I think that is a big difference from someone who delights in seeing an animal suffer. The RSPCA tried to help and advise Sarah. The appeal judge said she was deaf to that advice and the idea that the RSPCA were treating her harshly was not supported by the evidence. But he did reduce her sentence, so, after four years, 21 cats could come home.

A vet who supported Sarah throughout, is no fan of the RSPCA. What does somebody like Sarah do with cats that are left on her doorstep? Take those cats in or discard them, shut the door and leave them to die? What’s the options? Yes, we know that a lot of these cats were chronically infected with cat flu. They have been and they will remain that way. The RSPCA asked the court to make Sarah pay some of their costs. She now has a £100,000 charge on her home, to be paid to the RSPCA when she sells it.

My heart’s been broken. They’ve just warn me down and I’ve been depressed. They’re just like this giant machine that just crawls through people’s lives and they’ve got no way of getting out of it. The RSPCA says it prosecuted as a last resort. It was endorsed by the appeal judge and the Crown Prosecution Service. The costs were high because it took so long to conclude the case, and this was not the RSPCA’s fault. The RSPCA says it only prosecute when mistreatment is serious, cruelty blatant and when other ways to help animal and owner have been exhausted.

Back in Wales, the Protheroes are still waiting to hear if they’ll get their sheepdogs back. Three days after Panorama wrote to the RSPCA, the dogs were finally returned. Can one if you open the door while I left her in, please? Outside the Protheroes’ solicitors… It’s a big relief. It’s nice to see them. They’re looking OK, aren’t you? Hope they’ll be as happy to be home as we are to have them home. The RSPCA says the delay in returning the dogs was lawful and proper, while it decided whether to appeal. For many, including its critics, the

RSPCA remains a great British charity. I think the RSPCA is overall a force for good. The inspectors do good work every single day, there are out there in all conditions. Charity fight the RSPCA depend on more than donations, they also need public support. Public trust and public confidence in the work that charities do will only be sustained if charities are seen to be doing the right thing. That means behaving in a responsible, transparent and accountable way.

The RSPCA says it is committed to continually improving everything it does. But to its critics, it stands accused of being a charity that sometimes lacks charity – to humans.

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from Trouble at the RSPCA, BBC Panorama Program

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  Spirit Breaker: Occult Assassin (Book 3) by William Massa: The forces of darkness have a new enemy! One man, driven by tragedy, with one goal: to keep the world safe from black magic occult threats. Mark Talon’s chilling missions will take him across the globe and pit him against apocalyptic cults, cursed relics and supernatural terrorists bent on world destruction. In Spirit Breaker, Talon must battle an evil psychic and the chilling forces of the afterlife.

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  Dusty’s Diary by Bobby Adair: I played all the video games. I watched movies and read books. In most of those, the hero kills the zombies, drives an awesome car, has enough to eat, and always seems to get laid. I wrote this journal because the apocalypse sucks and doesn’t meet my expectations at all. Honestly, I was looking forward to it. It’s not like I don’t like people because I do. I was tired of all the crap I had to put up with. I was tired of dealing with traffic and my ex wife yelling at me. A zombie apocalypse looked like a good future for me. Here’s my story. Let me know what you think.

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  Oddjobs by Heide Goody and Iain Grant: This is for anyone who ever had a bad day at work. However bad your job is, you could be like these guys and work for the secret government organization responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible.

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