#unless said relationship is one that was already present in the games like sonic and tails/cream and vanilla/etc

[sonknuxadow]

i love matilda the armadillo. forever sad that she only got to be in like 2 issues before the reboot happened and she was wiped from existence

[generic-sonic-fan]

*Bursts through door

🫂📖😂

*Reigns the insanity and walks away to wait

🫂 Share a line (or dialogue exchange) that shows the relationship between two characters. (ask game here!)

OOOO GOOD PICK THANK YOU, I'll pick the star Unit MS-1 itself and some of its relationships with other characters!!

🫂- Tails

“Your audial sensors should be working, but given everything else going wrong with you right now, I can’t be sure. Give me a ping if you can hear me.”

Unit MS-1 couldn’t see Miles “Tails” Prower, but it detected his voice emanating from seven feet away. There was also the tapping of keys on a keyboard. Simultaneously, the foreign hand within its processor shifted. The conclusion came about slowly, as if it were still in diagnostic mode: the fox was accessing its systems, reading its code in real time. 

He had the power to modify it to his whims.

“That’s not what I intend to do.” Miles “Tails” Prower replied, confirming the hypothesis. “You came here for my help, didn’t you?”

🫂- Sonic

(Author's note: A conversation with someone else, about Sonic.)

“Query:” it decided to ask instead, “location of Sonic the Hedgehog?”

“oh come on! lookin to put a laser through some brains even now?! you really can’t change, you really-”

“Unit is concerned with self-preservation.”

A pause. A long one, anywhere upwards of thirty seconds to a minute long, if Unit MS-1 had to estimate in place of a chronometer. 

“you really think you’re gonna get hit while you’re down?”

Unit MS-1 recalled, readily, a memory file of Sonic the Hedgehog kicking its head as it lay incapacitated in an impact crater. It converted the file to video format and played it.

“that was in a fight.”

Every encounter with Sonic constituted a “fight”. Moreover, every encounter always constituted a near-complete chassis loss. Unit MS-1 had the statistics already compiled, and presented them.

“you’re afraid?”

“Unit does not experience ‘fear’.” It snapped back.

🫂- Marlene

“I mean, what am I going to do? Call the cops? What’re the cops going to be able to do about you?” Marlene said.

Unit MS-1 looked at the phone it held in its hand, then back at her.

“Seriously. Like, unless I could call Sonic or something-”

Unit MS-1 drew its left weapon and powered it to maximum charge.

“No no nonononono! I didn’t mean that!” Marlene threw her hands up. “That was a joke!”

It analyzed her tone to verify the truth of those statements, but the tonal evidence was not enough to dissuade its prime core directive blaring through its processor. 

“Seriously! Sonic’s like, a superhero. I don’t have any superheroes on speed dial. You can check. The password’s 2679.”

It inputted the password and unlocked the device.

[tokiro07]

Okay...

So the theory goes that Jumpman, the Mario from Donkey Kong, is actually the father of Mario and Luigi (based on the fact that the original DK is supposedly now Cranky Kong and the current DK, who has faced off against the current Mario, is the son of DK Jr.)

If that is true, then Jumpman is likely the same Mario that worked as a demolition man in Wrecking Crew, given both the era of the game and the fact that Jumpman could easily have been a generalized construction worker (as he was stated to be a carpenter in DK). There is a Luigi in Wrecking Crew, though, so maybe not, but who knows, twins could easily run in the family and maybe Jumpman named one of his sons after his brother 

Either way, that would mean that Jumpman, the father of the Mario brothers, worked with Foreman Spike, who for some reason hated Jumpman and his brother. Depending on the game, Foreman Spike bears a striking resemblance to either Wario or Waluigi. Now, we already know that Wario and Waluigi are canonically not brothers, so I’m not saying that Spike is both of their dads.

Just one of them. 

(Long post under the cut. This whole thing really got away from me, but I think it ended pretty nicely, so I hope y’all enjoy it)

Probably Wario’s, if I had to bet, given that we know Mario and Wario have known each other since childhood (stated explicitly in the instruction manual for Six Golden Coins), so it would make sense for them to know each other if their parents were work “friends,” and it would especially make sense for Wario to be as hateful of Mario if his dad, Spike, were hateful of Jumpman. Hell, it would even explain his name. Jumpman has a kid and names him after himself, and then Spike has a kid around the same time and decides to invoke some nominative determinism and labels his kid “bad Mario.”

How Waluigi fits into the picture is ambiguous, but with a number of simple solutions. While some early sources indicate that they are brothers (strategy guides, official websites, etc.), while later sources refer to them as either cousins (Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games) or as friends (Mario Sluggers, voice actor Charles Martinet). They could be adoptive brothers, but this wouldn’t really explain the visual similarities, unless Waluigi explicitly modeled his appearance after Wario or Foreman Spike. This wouldn’t require that they be brothers at all, though, as Waluigi could have done that even if he was just a friend. The cousin aspect works best at explaining the visual similarity and even the name, as that would mean that his name was chosen to spite Luigi just the same way that Wario’s was chosen to spite Mario. The only issue there is that we’ve never heard of Spike having any siblings. He’s had multiple conflicting designs, so MAYBE there’s multiple Spikes and Spike is a family name, but I doubt it.

Personally, while the cousin angle wraps everything up the most neatly, I’m still a fan of the idea that Waluigi is some kind of shapeshifted disguise for Tatanga, since the two are both purple misanthropes with an unhealthy obsession with Princess Daisy, a hatred for the Mario brothers and an odd friendship with Wario. This would also of course explain why the exact nature of their relationship is so unclear, since it would imply that they’re outright lying but can’t keep the story straight. I would rather the cousin thing, though, since I would like Tatanga to be able to make a comeback, but that would still be a really fun twist.

The one major hole in all of this, though, is that Pauline appears in Mario Odyssey and gives no indication that she’s not the same Pauline from Donkey Kong, implying that Mario and Jumpman are, as they’ve always been presented, the same person. However, there is surprisingly an explanation for this. You see, in the original Donkey Kong, the damsel in distress was a blonde woman referred to as Lady. It wasn’t until the remake for the GameBoy that she was redesigned to be the brunette Pauline that we know today. While particularly damning sources (Shigeru Miyamoto, Smash 4) have claimed that Pauline and Lady are the same person, various extended Mario media present them separately (The Cat Mario Show, a 1994 encyclopedia, various Mario manga), and even present them as having opposing personality types. Naturally, Shigeru Miyamoto should be considered the most credible source here, but that’s no fun, and he also said he was Bowser Jr’s mom, so I’m going to ignore him. 

So.

Jumpman’s pet Cranky Kong kidnaps his girlfriend, Lady, and he has to save her. Sometime later, Jumpman orders two children from the stork with Lady, whom he names after himself and his twin brother, Luigi, after a somewhat delayed delivery. His work rival, Spike, and Spike’s brother...Stanley the Bugman, why not, maybe he blames Mario for DK getting into his green house, both have children delivered around the same time, and name them Wario and Waluigi to spite Jumpman’s children. The Mario brothers and Spike children grow up to hate each other, and DK Jr. has also grown up and decides to kidnap Mario’s girlfriend, Pauline, just as his father did to Lady all those years ago. Mario saves Pauline, but unlike Jumpman and Lady who were brought closer together by their trauma, they break up, although they remain friends. Some years later, after Mario has established himself as a recurring hero to the Mushroom Kingdom, gets a toy line which DK III becomes weirdly infatuated with, leading to Pauline’s second kidnapping by a DK (or this is the first time, and Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2 was just a remake of DK on the GameBoy to give more context, the specifics aren’t too important here). Sometime after this, Pauline becomes mayor of New Donk City, which is adorned with references to Donkey Kong and his family’s crimes as if it’s all one big joke to these people. But I digress.

Somewhere in all that, Mario is given a castle for some reason, which is the last straw for Wario, who I imagine is working on a farm at the time, given that his best friend is a hen named Hen. Deciding that back breaking labor doesn’t satisfy his ambitions while his rival lives it up as a hero, Wario enlists the help of the alien Tatanga (who now that I think of it, he may well have met on his farm during an attempt to abduct a cow or something) to trick Mario to leave his castle so that Wario may steal it.

After Mario foils Wario’s plot and reclaims his castle, Mario extends an olive branch and invites Wario to play tennis with everyone, as that’s just the kind of guy he is. Wario, realizing he doesn’t have a partner, either a) invites his cousin Waluigi, who has gone into construction like uncle Spike (evidenced by his excavator in Mario Kart), since he loves sports and hates the Mario brothers as much as Wario does, or b) recruits Tatanga and has him disguise himself as someone who could ostensibly pass as a family member to lay low in case anyone tries to hold him responsible for his crimes (which they wouldn’t since they never try to arrest Bowser or Wario, but apparently he doesn’t know that)

As far as I can tell, the only thing we’re missing is where Waluigi was when Wario and the other Star Children were being delivered by the Stork and intercepted by Kamek. Perhaps he got passed over since he didn’t have a star? Maybe Bowser captured him and found he didn’t have a star, then discarded him. 

Actually, what if...

Waluigi was SUPPOSED to be delivered to Spike.

Waluigi was SUPPOSED to be Wario’s brother.

But when Bowser went back in time to find the seven Star Children, he messed up the route that Waluigi was supposed to be on. When the Stork got Waluigi back, he accidentally delivered Waluigi to the wrong house, the way he did to Mario and Luigi at the end of Yoshi’s Island (as shown in Yoshi’s New Island). Unlike with the Mario brothers, though, the Stork didn’t catch this mistake, and Waluigi grew up in the wrong household. Maybe it was even Stanley’s, and Waluigi’s inherently nasty personality clashed with Stanley’s kindly personality, but he still inherited his adoptive father’s love of plants! Can’t believe I was able to work that back in.

That’s why no one knows if they’re brothers, cousins or strangers! Because they don’t know who he was supposed to be delivered to, but they can’t deny the visual similarity! That’s why Waluigi’s so misanthropic, because he wasn’t delivered to the right house and he felt out of place! 

That last bit could easily be explained by being raised under Spike’s influence, though, since Spike is apparently the kind of jerk who would sabotage his own employees to get a bigger paycheck for himself. 

Either way, I think that lends to a really solid idea for the story of a Waluigi game.

A long time ago, I suggested a game where Waluigi somehow travels through time and goes through  levels themed around various Mario franchise titles (Waluigi’s Time to Shine), but now I know how to frame it! Waluigi, feeling odd about his family situation, asks Bowser how he travels through time so he can see where he comes from. Bowser throws him through a wormhole and Waluigi witnesses the events that lead to the Stork delivering him to the wrong house. He decides this is either Bowser or the Stork’s fault (Bowser makes more sense, but it would be super funny if the Stork ends up being the final boss) and journeys to exact revenge. The spell or technology tethering him to the past messes up, however, resulting in Waluigi being in flux and going through all of the Mario franchise.

It’d be really funny if when playing through the Yoshi’s Island section he becomes his baby self and knocks Mario off of Yoshi (resulting in Mario’s capture by the Toadies), giving Yoshi some weird new ability the way the Star Children did in Yoshi’s Island DS, but I’m not sure that having one level have a completely different control scheme would be the best idea.

It could also be that Waluigi rides Yoshi as a full grown adult, which would also be pretty silly given his lanky proportions. 

A Wrecking Crew level near the end would also be a fun way to bring the story full circle, revealing Waluigi’s relation to Spike and Wario, and establishing that Mario and Luigi are the children of Jumpman and Lady. 

Waluigi, Nintendo’s ultimate loose end, would be the catalyst through which all of the loose ends of the Mario franchise are tied.

Get on that, @nintendo 

Edit: This ended up having a couple of revisions, but rather then amend this post, I just ended up making two others. You can check those here and here

[twotwinks]

a thing i was tagged in a long time ago by @rochc93. i am, believe it or not, attempting to catch up on these things. i always intend to do them but it’s either not a good time when i think about them or i’m not thinking about them. sorry i’m a mess

Who were you named after?

First name, nobody bitch. That’s all me. Middle name, like twenty different characters who are important to me but all on accident because I didn’t realize we shared the name until after I’d picked it. Notable instances include Rita Rose Vrataski from Edge of Tomorrow and also Amy Rose (a recent discovery). Last name, Gary King and also because I like confusing people about my gender by deliberately using a “male” title while presenting female (though hopefully not for much longer) and also being nonbinary. (Also s/o to ladies who call themselves king instead of queen. Yes I’m thinking of Kagamine Rin in the WanOpo songs Death Should Not Have Taken Thee and Our Adventure Log Has Vanished.)

Last time you cried?

two weeks ago to the day, when my dad let our dog Koko get hit by a car, things have been Extra Bad around here since then

Do you like your handwriting?

No. When I was little everyone always used to tell me how pretty it was but then I started trying to be a Serious Writer and my penmanship degraded as a result of how fast I had to get the words out of my head. Now my mom whines all the time about how messy and illegible my writing is.

What is your favorite lunch meat?

TURKEY

Longest relationship?

Umm....about two years ago for about three months-ish? I think? Maybe two months? I don’t know, we were dating for Christmas and then I broke up with him right before Valentine’s Day because my mental health couldn’t take it. I realized I was aro shortly after. Who would’ve guessed, huh?

Do you still have your tonsils?

Yep!

Do you bungee jump?

no and i never will

What is your favorite kind of cereal?

Dude this changes like monthly. Sometimes Honey Bunches of Oats. Sometimes Frosted Flakes. Sometimes I get a ridiculously strong craving for Strawberry Awake or Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios. I just get to eat cereal so infrequently that I can’t really have a favorite, I just have to indulge whatever craving I currently have because I only get the chance to eat one box every three months or so.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Yes because when I was little my mom ingrained into me that not untying my shoes first would ruin the backs of them way faster than they should. In all fairness we were poor and couldn’t afford to buy me new shoes that often because my feet are so sensitive that an actual comfortable pair costs $100.

Do you think you’re strong willed?

oh fuck no i mean have you ever spoken to me??? i’m the biggest baby pushover to ever live

Favorite ice cream?

Either that Death by Chocolate stuff they serve at Purdue’s dining courts sometimes or mint chocolate chip. It has to be green though or it loses something sdkhsdhk

What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Usually like their shirt, I guess? I don’t know, this isn’t something I’ve ever really thought about. Maybe it’s also if they have one of those annoying faces or voices. Or if they have a queer vibe. Look I’m not good with people ok.

Football or baseball?

Football but only because marching band and/or soccer

Favorite doughnut?

Okay this is going to sound weirdly specific but. Chocolate cake donut with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles. Also on a related note I once let a girl in high school copy my homework (that I myself had found the answers to on the internet, it was a really unfair English assignment). She was so happy that she said she’d buy me a donut for breakfast the next day (she made a donut run for herself once a week as a special treat). I gave her my oddly specific request, but since I knew it was kind of a rare donut to find I told her anything chocolate would work. The next day, lo and behold, she showed up with the perfect donut. She had them make it special for me (insert Discord’s pleading face emoji). That was the day I learned my lesson about judging “dumb blondes”.

What music are you listening to?

I’ve been back into Touhou doujin arrangements again lately, especially eurobeat. However I’m also hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog again so the game soundtracks and the Crush 40 albums are starting to show up in my frequent rotation on Spotify.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

The obvious choice is mint green but I could also very easily be a lime green or a glittery ruby slippers red.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

I believe I talked to my grandma a little bit on my mom’s phone not that long ago? Other than that according to my phone it looks like I took a call from my dad back in April?

Hair color?

that real deep almost black brown. i nearly got into a fistfight with some boys in second grade who insisted my hair was black. it’s not black it’s just very thick. it actually looks much lighter if you just separate a smaller chunk and look at it.

Eye color?

Hazel. Brown with some green flecks. Or possibly green with some brown flecks. Also both of my irises look different up close but you can’t tell unless you’re really up in my face.

Favorite food to eat?

pasta but it can’t have red sauce

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way

Last film you watched in the cinema?

do you really expect me to remember this. i honestly do not fucking know. i have no brain when it comes to movie theaters. i was gonna do a double feature of birds of prey and the sonic movie the tuesday before spring break (cheap prices for students!!!) but i ended up having a headache that day so i couldn’t go and then shit hit the fan and there was no theatergoing. i have tried and failed to get my parents to rent the sonic movie since. i’m very unhappy about it now that i’m hyperfixating again.

What color shirt are you wearing?

well i think it used to be white but it’s really old so now it’s like off-white. also it has a big snake on the back. i don’t even like snakes i just enjoy this shirt.

Favorite holiday?

Christmas!!! I don’t necessarily actually enjoy celebrating the holiday (thanks fam) but I love the idea behind it and the aesthetics. Also it’s peppermint season!

Beer or wine?

Listen I am super picky about alcohol. I haven’t liked any of the wine I’ve tried, but the first two wines I had other people told me it was bad (and then they took me out and bought me alcohol I would actually like because I’d never drank before and apparently getting me tipsy in Ireland over spring break was an Honor for them I literally didn’t pay for a single drink that night) and the third wine I had was paired with the wrong type of food (we couldn’t get the Right wine bottle open). I didn’t really mind the beer I tried in Ireland though, so I guess beer? I really like cider best though, and apparently I can also handle vodka.

Night owl or morning person?

night owl i wish i could be nocturnal

Favorite day of the week?

Friday. It has all the joy and anticipation of the coming weekend without the curse of my dad being home or the responsibility of homework looming over everything.

Favorite animal?

HEDGEHOG yeah i never really got past that from when i was little. but i also just love pretty much all animals. except like. snakes and spiders but sometimes snakes have their moments.

Do you have a pet?

Yeah. We have a lot of “family” pets but I consider Patches (cat) and Gabby (dog) to be Mine Specifically. If my mom hadn’t forced me out of therapy I’d probably be bringing Patches with me to college next year as an emotional support animal.

Where would you like to travel?

Europe babey. I just wanna hang out in France and England and Scotland and also go back to Ireland. I miss Ireland so much y’all.

ok that’s it. that’s all for this one. i’m not tagging anyone because i’m sure it’s already made the rounds among everyone. but if it missed you and you still wanna do it go for it. consider yourself tagged. poof.

[transslyblue]

Also "1-99"

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Haha, closed. I don't like seeing the dark void that I call a closet

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Yea, but you can't really see them unless you're close

(3) Can You Whistle?

Yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame musical, the Tavern Song

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Blue, but I also like a variety of purples and greens

(6) Relationship Status.

Single and not looking

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

69º F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yea, unless I wake up myself

(9) How Many Followers?

118, but I need to go through and block any bots. (;w;)

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Leo

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Blue/green hazel. My eyes are multi-coloured so they have blue, green, and brown with a very grey look to them.

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

I forget daily

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yup!

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

I really want to get back to reading some more Lovecraft, but i don't have much time to read

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

"Minutes before librarians ate him."

(16) Favourite Anime?

Uuuuhhhhhh, hm. I guess it'd have to be InuYasha, but I like a lot of anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Err,,, it was a very close friend. Idk if they'd want me to say who they are tho

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Rocks and those snowglobe musicboxes

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Yogurt and a protein bar. Ik, ik real healthy and filling

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Depends on the song, but not really

(21) Favourite Animal?

Owls and cats

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Not really, but when I do it's the diving Olympics

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

2am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

I don't wear makeup. Though I have considered it

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Either. Pool is safer though

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Oof, idk if I can pick just one, so imma name a few. @ohhimarx @mirosuikaaa @masochist-incarnate they're all really friendly and nice

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Whichever is most convenient at the time

(28) What Makes You Happy?

The sound of rain, art, my friends talking to me, I have a list that I've posted, so I won't list out here

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

Haha, I don't study;;;

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Cats

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Blue-tiful lol, for real though probably bubble blue

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

Does Switch/ds count?

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Idunknow

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Not really, but I won't bash on anyone who does

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Black, but is a Link being a meme

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Yes

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

I save more then I spend.

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Yea, it's a pink pillow of Lion from Steven Universe and a music stand from when I was in middle school

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Kirby in general

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Nope, but I have touched one before

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Yes and no. It really depends on how long I've been around them

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Omg yes! I remember a few and they were all lucid dreams! (I looked up the term from last time I answered this question)

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

Never been on one

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Of Mice and Men

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Both

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Panic!At the Disco, Fallout Boy, or The Neighborhood

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not really. There are some foods I refuse to eat, but otherwise I eat pretty much anything

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Yes

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Nope! I actually like thunder

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

I enjoy reading. As for writing, eh. I'll write out my ideas but I'mno good at fleshing them out to be interesting

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Yes. But not too loud, just enough where I don't hear everyone around me

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins! I really am bad at wrapping presents

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Hurts - Illuminated

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Spring and dying from pollen

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

Idk, something salty tbh

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

I'm a transgender male, so i use he/him pronouns.

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Both, but I like tea more

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

I'm not in school anymore soooo no

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Idk. Questioning I guess

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

No

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

I already answered this one, so I'll say a new pokemon that I love. Rowlet!

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Bruh I am not a fan, but Tumblrs the one I'm on most.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

Idk. I don't have an Instagram

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Yes

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Yes, and I plan to stay that way for awhile

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

I use Suave, but I also use TeaTree when I get really bad dandruff

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Depends on the place. But most likely I'd risk the motel.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

My mom yes, my biological father... It's complicated

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

I don't really watch movies, so none

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

I don't have an ex

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

Be the person you needed when you were younger. I have no clue who said it, but I live by that

(74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

Eyes in general are great. Idk how anyone can not find something they like in any eye colour

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YesYesYesYes

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Nachos

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Voez and Pokémon Go

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

Yes, because no oen deserves to die. I'd do my best to help any homeless person

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Haha, not today. Yet

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

Not really

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yes!

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

I don't wear jewlery much. But I would like to get my ears pierced properly

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed! I don't want people or my cat to walk in

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

I woke up, did laundry, answered these questions

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Pajama pants and a t-shirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I've got none. Unless you want me to name what body wash i use. :/

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Phone: Voez, Pokémon Go

Switch: Legend of Zeld: Breath of the wild, Super Smash Bros Ultimate, Kirby Star Allies, Mario Kart 8, PuyoPuyo Tetris, Bayonetta 1&2, Hyrule Warriors, Just Dance 2017, Super Mario Party, Let's Go Eevee, Mario Odyssey, Undertale, Shovel Knight, Pokémon quest, Mom Hid my Game, Deemo, Sonic Mania, Detention, The Coma, Cave Story

3DS: Kirby Clash Deluxe, Kirby Triple Deluxe, Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn, Kirby Planet Robobot, Kirby Canvas Curse, Kirby Mass Attack, Kirbg Super Star Ultra, Kirby Squeak Squad, Pokémon Y, Pokémon Platinum, Pokémon Ultra Moon, Pokémon Alpha Sapphire Pokémon Heartgold, Legend of Zelda Link Between Worlds, Legend of Zelda Majoras Mask, Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time 3D, Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass, Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks, Super Smash Bros, Luigi's Mansion Dark Moon, Wario Ware Gold, Super Princess Peach, Animal Crossing New Leaf, Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow, Cooking Mama, Cooking Mama 2, Sonic Colors

Gameboy Color: Pokemon Blue, Legend of Zelda Link's Awakening

This is over the course of many years

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

I had this dream where I was flying a red paper plane. It took forever to carry it up this tapestry, but i did it. When I finally took off this group of white paper planes were chasing me so I shook them off and landed, taking shelter in this museum. This museum held other people hiding and was actually an abandoned grocery store. Then I woke up.

I don't rememebr when this was, but I wrote it down. I have a few more if you're interested.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Strawberry Ramuné

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Rainstorms,

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans, since I can't wear sweatpants to work

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Uhhh, probably a slob since I've been in pajamas all day

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Stuffed animals

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

Idk. Haven't really wanted one. Maybe a connect the dots one.

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

Idk. I watch Pyrocynical and Markiplier, but other than that I listen to music, watch speedpaints, and speed plays of various videogames

[hesitanthero]

i guess ill post this then.....

1. Favourite colour: Green. But not like a shitty green. 2. Number of people you’ve slept with: 3.5 3. Cake or ice cream? cake 4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? Sarcasm. or something equally as useless. like being indecisive.  5. Ever been in a fist fight? with my brother.  and this one time i accidentally hit this girl in the head with my elbow..  6. Do you live in the country or the city? city. 7. Biggest kink? uhhhhhhhh 8. Favourite video-game? mario kart 64 9. Words you live by? “fuck bitchez; get money.”  jk. “I am the architect of my own destruction”  10. Best book you’ve ever read? Ender’s Game or Speaker for the Dead 11. Favourite film? i… can’t.. choose just one…. Fox&Hound, Blade Runner, Fight Club and probably like 12 more 12. Horror or romance? Horror 13. Biggest fear? Clowns. Or Indoor Spiders.  14. Best memory? I have a bunch. But driving up to my cottage with my dad is always a good time. Listening to all the music he hates and me terribly singing it all to him.  15. Worst memory? Aside from the obvious shitty things.. probably when Angela friend broke up with my on my birthday. OR when Andy wouldn’t let me come over to his backyard to play when I was 5 and i just cried at our backyard border line while him and his brothers sang “No Girls Allowed” . fuckin. rude.  16. Where are you from? not here nor there. 17. Ever done anal? mhm 18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? …..Pardon? 19. Favourite outfit? Black on Black on Black on Black. 20. Snapchat or Instagram? Instagram 21. If you could freeze time what would you do? probably pants a lot of people. But freezing time seems like a pretty lonely power.  22. Best LUSH product in your opinion? probably some sort of soap. 23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? red shirts i guess? wtf is this. 24. Favourite television character? Robin Scherbatsky. Spinelli. Octavia Blake. 25. Do you have a nemesis? not really 26. Are you a hard-worker? depends what im doing i guess 27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? Paris was dope AF. 28. What’s your dream? probably something weird that doesn’t make sense like the rest of my dreams. ;)  29. Where do you see your life ending up? dead. 30. Describe your last sexual encounter.  uhhh…. no sleep. pretty great. only 1 new bruise. she cute. 31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? cake. 32. Ever done drugs? NEVER 33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? LOTR 34. Are you a jock or a nerd? probably somewhere in the middle. 35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? 18.6498475.  36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? meh. 37. Favourite trashy television show? most things i watch.. the 100, Wynnona Earp, The OC, Shot at Love with Tila Tequila…  38. Last time you watched porn? does scrolling through tumblr count because like.. an hour ago..  39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? not really 40. Weirdest dream you ever had? HA. They’re all weird. But this one time when i was really little I had a dream that my house was being attacked by acid monsters/ aliens and everything they touched melted. and one by one they melted all my family members until I was the only one left and i had a sword and then i woke up before i got melted.  41. Ever had mental health issues? plenty.  42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? 42 43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? god no. 44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? yes. 45. Dog person or cat person? both 46. Sneakers or heels? Sneaks. 47. Favourite cocktail?  Negroni 48. Day or night? night 49. Pokémon or Digimon? DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE!!!! 50. How big is your dick? like. 8/10 on rotten tomatoes. 51. Favourite musical? Rocky Horror  52. Favourite song?  sunday candy atm.  53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? android probably.  54. Why are you like this?  because my mom ruined my life when i was a dramatic teen. 55. What’s your guilty pleasure?  Shitty TV shows with terrible acting and scripts.  56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? i love you toooooooo 57. What’s the story behind your URL? i got bored of like 4 other ones. and i liked the alliteration.  58. Tell me something that worries you. Global Politics. and not being able to live comfortably because of the few opportunities for millennials with the rising costs of literally everything except my wage.  59. What have you been worrying about today? literally nothing. 60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it.  ;) 61. Hot dogs or burgers? burgers 62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? N64 specifically..  63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like? Arrow. 64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? u r a butt.  65. Tell us a deep dark secret.  who is us?  i dont have anymore deep dark secrets.  66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty ‘til it’s all red? no. no i am not.  67. Favourite Tumblr couple? what does this mean 68. Do you have any dietary quirks? probably. i don’t like dessert.. 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? k. 70. How old are you? 26 71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence?   “Sorry” 72. Do you have any pets?  YES 73. What colour underwear are you wearing? maroon 74. Boxers or briefs? on who? briefs.  75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? no thank you? 76. Which television show do you want to last forever? Community. (its already over) 77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? like 30 seconds.  78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? the latter. 79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? wut 80. Which country has the best flag?  Tamil Eelam  81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? never 82. Most overrated food? Ketchup 83. Most overrated film? Titanic or the notebook 84. Most overrated television show? Friends 85. Most overrated type of cheese? Brie 86. Which brand would you never shop at? LV 87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Courage 88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? time elapsing. unless you’re stopping time again the other option is kind of impossible… 89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? Art from friends.  90. What present do you wish someone would give you? the secret formula to krabby patties.  91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? yes. and yes.  91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? because someone dun fucked up.  92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. no. 93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? i don’t get either sooooo 94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? i don’t need to have sex with anyone THAT badly to have this answer ready. Krista. 95. What is your spirit animal?  probably a fox. 96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? lederhosen.  97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid? yes 98. What makes you super nostalgic? 90s cartoons. 99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like ‘yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) im not answering this.  100. What’s your favourite cocktail? you asked me this already 101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book? sonic screwdriver.  102. Laptop or PC? laptop 103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? Aussie. 104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? Only if he dies after.  105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. no. 106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? Hwhite. 107. What would you change about your body if you could?  too many to list.  108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? cold 109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? slowly. 110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? neither. i am an android as discussed above.  111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid? Nermal. 112. What was your favourite class at school? Art 113. Are you superstitious? not really. 114. What do you think happens when we die? people forget.  115. Pie or pi? neither.. but pie i guess. 116. Your followers a question. no. 117. Lick my genitalia. k. 118. What’s your favourite number? 13&18 119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? frequently. 120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? occasionally. mostly?  121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait.  im the most normal what are you talking about.  122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? any Robert Munsch book probably. 123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Y@H 124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. I cant help it. 125. I hope you enjoyed these questions. 6/10 126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? anything with cats.

[robotnik-mun]

Robotnik Retrospective Part Six: Rage Against The Machine

Hello again, everybody, and welcome back to another exciting (*coughBullcrap*) addition to the Robotnik retrospective! Well folks, you’ve stuck through five of these things already, and really I thank all of you for that, but the reality is that this crazy train is swiftly reaching its destination- this post here will be the last of the proper retrospective posts. After this we will conclude our series with an afterward, a summation, what have you, and at last this insane party of Robotnik fan obssession will come to an end. Been a fun ride folks, but all good things must come to an end.

So far we have covered how I came to enjoy this Robotnik so much, his design and the history behind it, an in-depth look at his character, a look at how he as a character is shaped by his relationships with others and how they are in turn shaped by him, and most recently we examined the other Robotniks that were spawned from this one and featured in both Archie Comics and Sonic Underground. Sufficed to say, over the course of the retrospective we’ve covered a loooot of ground regarding ol ‘Buttnik, and it is here that we cover one last little area regarding this Robotnik.... namely, the criticisms.

Oh yes. Within the Sonic fandom all things tend to be a matter of contention, and this model of Robotnik is no different. One thing I notice across the fandom is a certain set of criticisms, criticisms that I feel tend to ignore certain contexts with this guy, or rely upon certain double standards- especially since more often than not, when these criticisms are made, it’s almost always done in relation to the Eggman of the games, despite the fact that more than a few of those criticisms can be leveled at Eggman himself, and often treat personal opinion as an objective fact.

Now obviously, this is not a demand for people to love the guy- it’s patently impossible for everyone to agree on everything. I just feel though that a lot of these criticisms are a bit lopsided, and so, I am offering up counterpoints to at least provide an alternative view or to contextualize things, and to perhaps debunk a few here and there. I’m actually kind of nervous about this one because of how easy it could be to slide into pathetic fan-whining, so hey, here’s hoping we get through this without me getting personal.

Let’s get it on.

As I said, everything in Sonic is a subject of contention or controversy to somebody. One man’s favorite is another man’s mistake of the franchise. That’s just covering the games- the various spin-offs and adaptations the games have enjoyed over the years tend to attract a particular amount of controversy. Differing interpretations, utilization or lack of utilization of materials and lore from the games, the precise nature of the world Sonic lives in, interpretations and use of characters, whether or not humans are included beyond Eggman... all of it tends to be scrutinized rather harshly. I do earnestly believe that at some level, spin-off media gets more criticism than it warrants due to the fact that, by its very nature, it is viewed as being ‘less legitimate’ than the games proper, despite existing with SEGA’s endorsement and approval each and every time. Even Sonic Underground, the most radically different Sonic adaptation out there, couldn’t get made unless SEGA gave the okay.

Another layer to all of this is the fact that the overwhelming majority of these spinoff materials were made in the USA, for American Audiences, based upon the localizations of the games. This adds another factor to the Legitimacy Debate, given that SEGA of Japan runs the show, and Sonic Team’s lore has always differed from the localized takes. Much like the ‘Subs vs Dubs’ debates within Anime fan communities, the merit of the differences and interpretations between regions is something of a warzone in itself, resulting in a very weird situation where you often see the Adaptations derided purely for being a Western invention rather than springing from the ‘true’ source of Sonic, which is Japan. The irony of this logic is that Sonic has been incredibly popular everywhere BUT Japan, and the sorts of people who espouse this viewpoint are often from Western countries themselves.

Ah, but I must digress, lest this turn into a dissertation about the nature of the fan-divide and becomes even longer than it is already shaping up to be. Point of order- the spinoff adaptations that once speckled the franchise of the 90s tend to rack up a lot of strong opinions for good or ill, and due to the sheer number of designs and interpretations Eggman/Robotnik underwent between each adaptation. In some ways it’s almost symbolic of a lot of the arguments about Eggman himself these days- how evil is he, how humorous, does he have good traits, what should his exact relationship with Sonic be, and so on and so forth. A lot of these spinoff takes often seem to embody one end of the scale or the other to varying extremes, and that is particularly evident in the SatAM model of Robotnik.

So, having brought all of that up, it is *finally* time to take a look at the most common criticisms I find of the SatAM model Robotnik, and to offer up a few rebuttals. Thank you for your patience.

Now then... on with the criticisms.  

“He doesn’t look like Eggman!”

This one comes up a lot, and really, it’s quite indisputably true.

Yeah, pretty fair observation there- these two are pretty far apart design wise, and even accounting for the artistic interpretations that were used on Eggman in Western box art during that time, it is nakedly apparent that the SatAM Robotnik is veeery different looking to the guy from the games, whether in the classical era or the modern era. So yeah, there’s no denying it- he really doesn’t look like Eggman.

However... is it really *that* big of a deal?

SatAM Robotnik is pretty far removed from Eggman from a design standpoint, but in the end, he does actually share the same basic features- bald, obese, huge mustache, and a red, yellow and black color scheme distributed by the top half being dominated by red while the bottom half is dominated by blackm and of course shaped like an egg. In this, Robotnik isn’t straying that far- he does in fact possess all the iconic features that make the Eggman design, simply re-interpreted to other extremes. Heck, Robotnik accentuates the Egg motiff in his look even more than Eggman himself! An irony I rather appreciate.

I find it hard to believe that THIS aspect of Robotnik is really *that* much of a dealbreaker, particularly since the Robotnik who first started this design trend in AosTH never seems to receive the same criticism.

Yeah, not exactly a loyal replication of the game design there, now is it? If Adventures Robotnik can get a pass for his own divergent design, then I feel that the same courtesy can be extended to SatAM Robotnik.

It’s actually a bit of an ironic twist that SEGA themselves toyed with the idea of making Eggman into a cyborg as well.

While clearly they didn’t go with this, it should be noted that Sonic Team themselves didn’t seem to think it was that much of a stretch for Eggman himself to have cybernetics as well. Just something to consider.

Heck, for extra irony points, consider SEGA themselves don’t seem to be all too concerned about whether ol’ Eggy looks the part of a man called ‘Eggman’ these days.

‘He looks like an upside down egg!’ 

My hairy butt he does. 

A buff Eggman is arguably a far, far more drastic divergence than what SatAM Robotnik’s got going on, given that it completely inverts one of the core design aspects of the character, one that has been utilized by every other incarnation out there- his obese, ovoid physique to which he owes the name ‘Eggman’ to begin with.

So yeah, I rest my case. You’re free to like or dislike a design, but this claim specifically doesn’t really seem to hold much water with regards to being a strike against him.

“He’s practically a different character!”

Weeeelllllll.... yes, and no. This is one of those criticisms that kind of misses out on certain contexts and makes a pretty big assumption- namely that Eggman has always existed as we now know him. Cause the thing is, up until Sonic Adventure? “Eggman” never really existed in the West. Confused by what I mean? Well, allow me to elaborate a bit.

While Dr. Eggman was always such back in Japan, when it came time for the games to come over to Western shores, the story and characters of the game were localized in the hopes of making the game more marketable to local audiences. As such Dr. Eggman, who had evidently already been an enemy of Sonic’s for a while before the events of the first game, now became “Dr. Ivo Robotnik”, and was given a more detailed background- that once upon a time, he was a good and kindly scientist called Ovi Kintobor, who was a friend of Sonic’s until an accident involving CHaos Emeralds and a rotten egg transformed him into the evil Dr. Ivo Robotnik, who immediately set off to conquer Mobius.

Various bits and pieces from Sonic of America’s official documents consistently characterize Dr. Ivo Robotnik as being ‘pure evil’, and his design was altered in the cover art for the games to reflect his sinister nature.

You know, I never really noticed that the Sonic 2 Cover Art made it look like he had a beard going on along with that mustache. Funky. 

Anyway!

This was to form the basis of the character in the US, and thanks to the open-ended nature of his actions in the game proper, said actions became cast in a more sinister light due to the more openly obvious and malevolent nature of Robotnik that was presented. It is from all of this then that SatAM Robotnik, and all the other Robotniks introduced in the spinoff materials at the time derive their character from, and since all the details provided painted Robotnik as an evil, evil person, it was up to the writers for these spinoffs to interpret whether they should be played for laughs or for chills.

In short? Eggman didn’t exist in the West when SatAM Robotnik was created. The criticism that he is practically a different character from Eggman is reliant upon a false premise- he cannot be faulted for being a different character to Eggman when he was created at a time when “Eggman” wasn’t even a part of Sonic as far as Western Audiences were concerned, until Sonic Adventure happened and things changed to better fit how things had always been in Japan. Similarly, the scant details we know about Eggman’s life hadn’t even been conceived of at the time.

It is at this point though that I feel compelled to point out though that while Robotnik’s differences from the current understanding of Eggman is simply a result of the time he was created, it should be noted that Robotnik is still a pretty inaccurate representation of the Robotnik from the games. SatAM Robotnik’s real name is Julian, his backstory doesn’t utilize the Chaos Emerald accident at all, he’s already the ruler of Mobius and has been for a while now, and his robots are completely different. While he still turns animals into robots, the concept has been re-interpreted so that rather than using people as batteries for his robots, the Roboticizer converts flesh and blood creatures into mechanical slaves for Robotnik’s empire.

Now these are all traits that I personally quite enjoy, but I’d be an idiot to suggest that it isn’t a pretty huge divergence from the lore that the games themselves establish. The thing of it is though, that SEGA themselves were not particularly interested in enforcing the aforementioned lore. In the earlier Adventure series, bits and pieces of Robotnik’s backstory were revealed, and much like the later SatAM , there’s not a lot that aligns with what the games had presented- Robotnik here was evil from the moment he was born and had a family in the form of an even more crazed and evil mother who constantly berated him for not destroying Sonic. Similarly, Game!Robotnik’s schtick of ‘turning animals into robots’ didn’t come up all that much, if at all.

The simple reality is? SEGA of America didn’t really care to enforce the lore it had created, and SEGA of Japan didn’t see fit to do similar. SEGA desiring a more universal approach for the setting it had created was something that came about with the advent of Sonic Adventure, and before that? Well, the most game accurate Robotnik out there, was the Robotnik from Fleetway.

Yeah, THAT terrifying bastard.

And don’t think for an instant that Sega of Japan themselves were any better at this. Back in Japan they released a series of Manga to tie into the games. Wanna know how that turned out?

Gotta confess, I don’t recall any of this happening at any point in the game. Cool robots though!

Another Manga would take it a step further and give a wholly new story- Sonic was the heroic identity that a shy hedgehog boy called Nicky could transform into. Nicky would have a family consisting of a mother, a father and a little sister, as well as having a girlfriend who would later form the basis for Amy Rose.

And then there was a manga that was released to tie into Sonic 2 for the game gear. Being a direct adaptation meant to promote the game, this would surely do a more than sufficient job of accurately portraying-

JESUS.

... so...

...uh...

...yeeah, long story short, Sonic on the whole didn’t really have a set idea, whether for Robotnik/Eggman or anything else. I once used the term ‘Jungle Law’ to describe how things were for the franchise in the 90s, and I must once more reiterate that that was precisely the case during that time, both in the US and everywhere else. People are of course free to feel about SatAM Robotnik and how he relates to the games (or rather doesn’t) as they wish, but one thing I would ask when doing that is to at least consider the time in which he was created, and to understand that even if he had been made to be game accurate at that time, he’d still be wildly, wildly different than the Eggman everyone is now familiar with.

 “He doesn’t invent anything!”

I honestly have no idea where this one came from... well, actually, that’s a lie, I know exactly where it stems from- the fact that Robotnik stole the Roboticizer from Uncle Chuck rather than inventing it himself wholesale. I can see why that would be a turn-off. Heck, I myself find it somewhat diminishing that he stole the invention rather than creating it himself wholesale, even as I love the horrible, horrible twist that it was a medical device created by Sonic’s own uncle, and the blood on Charles’ hand because of it. On that front though, I would point out that innovation is not just a matter of wholesale creation, but of taking things that existed before and taking them in new directions, and while maybe as not as grand as him being the sole creator of the Roboticizer, he still took the device and modified it towards a capacity it was never intended towards. I would argue then that it’s still pretty ingenious.

That being said though, 'never’ invents anything?

That just isn’t supported by anything seen in the series. Every last machine and robot witnessed is created by him. Taking precisely one incident and then declaring that he 'doesn’t invent anything’ because of it is a preposterous exaggeration built upon a premise thats overblown and inaccurate to begin with. No, he didn’t 'invent’ the original technology, but as I said, he took it in a direction never dreamt of before by its original creator- that’s still an application of intelligence and scientific skill.

It’s a particularly baffling accusation given that it’s not as though the games themselves dedicate huge amounts of time observing Eggman in the process of creating his machines, whether in the present time or back in the 90s. The reason I bring this up is because at times, part of what seems to fuel this criticism is that Robotnik is only rarely seen constructing his devices. Rarely however is not the same thing as ‘never’, and even then common sense would decree that the scientific genius does in fact make stuff even if you don’t see it happen.

It’s one thing to be annoyed by the fact that roboticizer isn’t his own- that’s quite understandable really. Going off of that to claim that he ‘invents nothing’ though? That’s just blatantly untrue.

“He’s lazy!”

Now unlike the last one, this is one that I just legitimately do not get. He runs an empire and personally oversees all operations from his command room. Of course he’s not going to be running around everywhere at all times, and even then, there are several episodes where he personally investigates things or direct operations personally. There’s really not a lot that can be said about this one because it’s probably one of the weakest criticisms out there, and ironically enough is itself very lazy. 

“He’s unoriginal/derivative/a ripoff!”

Well I mean, yeah? He’s literally the re-interpretation of a character from a video game, he’s quite derivative by default-

Heh, okay, okay, I’m being facetious here. I know what the actual gist of the criticism is, and to a degree it’s quite correct- Robotnik is a character who fulfills a very specific character archetype, that of the Evil Overlord. He’s big, he’s evil, he’s got a cape, and he’s got a hankerin’ for some oppressin’. Though I suppose calling it an ‘archetype’ is being a tad kind given that whenever this particular one is brought up the word that enters the vernacular more often than not tends to be ‘cliche’. Comparisons that often follow tend to accuse him of being a dime store version of Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget or Darth Vader from Star Wars (not sure why that’s a negative comparison- those two are awesome!), and I can see that to a certain degree. This character type is an old one, and Robotnik himself doesn’t exactly break new ground.

Thing is though? This criticism is almost always made by drawing an implicit comparison to his counterpart from the games, with the implication being that Robotnik is the derivative creation/concept, as opposed to Eggman. This, even more than the criticism itself, is what particularly bothers me, because frankly? This assertion is a pretty big double-standard, one of the two major double-standards that tend to arise when SatAM Robotnik is compared to his games counterpart. More than anything, I find the both of them to be incredibly rankling for precisely those reasons- we will cover the other one once we are finished with this one.

An Evil Overlord isn’t exactly a big innovation... but neither are mad scientists who are out to conquer the world with robot armies. That one had been done to death long before Sonic, and will continue to see use long after the franchise is dead and gone.

Many of Eggman’s traits are not exactly unique to him, even within video games. A bald mad scientist with a big mustache, who primarily travels around in a hovering machine, who uses armies of robots with cartoonish features and big goofy looking eyeballs? Where have I heard that before... wherever have I heard that...

Oh, hey there Dr. Wily!

But wait, I can do it across two mediums! Bald scientist, bushy mustache with mechanical engineering skills who exploits animals for his evil schemes and is constantly thwarted animals that are much smaller than himself.... remind you of anybody at all, hmm?

He’s even voiced by Jim Cummings!

Yeah, an unkind soul might accuse ol’ Eggman of being an off-brand version of Dr. Wily, and an even less kind soul might simply dismiss him as the end result of tossing Nimnul and Wily into a blender and hitting puree. Before you get worked up though know this; I do not *actually* think this, and it would be ludicrous to think of Eggman as being a ripoff or being overly derivative of those two (the traits are there, undeniably, but these are not to the detriment of the character or his originality in the least). I would be incredibly incensed at anyone earnestly suggesting that Eggman was unoriginal or a ripoff of those two or anything along those lines... but the thing is, I feel the exact same way about similar statements being hurled towards SatAM Robotnik with regards to his originality as a character. There are things that are similar to what other characters have done, sure, but there is more than enough that is distinct about him, whether its his look, his personality or M.O, that calling him a copy or derivative is fairly unwarranted, and I would say the same to anybody declaring such things about ol’ Eggy.

In conclusion? This criticism isn’t invalid by itself as we all have different tastes and such, but given the context of how it is often used, there is something of a double-standard at work- traits that would be regarded as cliche or derivative are perfectly acceptable within Eggman, but a similar courtesy cannot be extended to the SatAM Robotnik. It’s a rich thing to call one incarnation ‘a ripoff’, when the character that spawned him was most famous for using a parody of the Death Star as an ultimate weapon prior to Sonic Adventure.

Which brings me to the very last criticism I keep hearing, this one a... personal favorite.

“He’s boring/lacks depth/is uninterestng/doesn’t have a personality!”

One thing I’ve established is that some criticisms tend to be made with a direct comparison to Eggman in mind, and this one? This is the one that tends to come up the most frequently and is the most insisted upon, and often the one most loudly declared (in as much as anything on the internet can be ‘loud’). Many times when this one is made, it is done with the obvious implication that this Robotnik is deficit in these areas when compared to his game counterpart. Depth is what makes a character more than what we see on the surface- its things like history, facets of personality, flaws, strengths, weaknesses, how they express their world view through words and actions, who they are related to and how they relate or do not relate to the people in their lives, and how they develop. In short, it’s a matter of how realized a character is.

It’s also one of the most singularly *baffling* accusations to use, not because of Robotnik himself, but because of the nature of characterization within the wider Sonic franchise and the fandom’s somewhat tortured relationship with it.

One of the very ugly truths about Sonic as a series? Is that precious few of the characters can truly be seen as ‘deep’ or ‘developed’, largely as a consequence of the way this series operates. Character developments from past games are rarely if ever built upon, past details are scarce and only barely referenced after initial introductions, and personality traits are either ramped up or dialed back based on the demands of the games, which are not always written very consistently. There is nothing particularly wrong with this- this being a long running video game series with no planned end, it is to be expected that each of the characters would more or less be the same person they were the last time around, frustrating as it is when more intriguing details are waylaid as a result (looking at you, Knuckles).

The only noteworthy exception to this trend, ironically enough, is Shadow the Hedgehog.

On paper Shadow should be a rather terrible idea- a black and red furred hedgehog with a brooding attitude and powers that match Sonic’s, along with a few extra abilities Sonic doesn’t possess, who is involved in Eggman’s own family history that was never mentioned before that point? Everything about Shadow screams ‘baby’s first fancharacter’. Yet despite that fact, Shadow is ultimately the biggest recipient of character development and evolution in the series- his backstory is the most explored, he has undergone the most development, and is the only one to have grown out of the role that initially defined him. It’s all rather astounding given that he debuted explicitly as an ‘Evil Twin’ to challenge Sonic, only to ultimately wind up having more concrete details than the hero he was created to challenge.

Otherwise though? There’s not really a lot to most Sonic characters beyond a few traits that give a teensy amount of depth. This includes our good buddy Eggman.

Eggman has no real past and no real motive for his goals of world conquest, nor are any details provided with regards to what his precise vision for the world is. Since he gained the ability to talk Eggman has frequently displayed himself to be a bellicose, immature egomaniac who has never done a single genuinely selfless thing throughout the entirety of the series, nor are we given a lot of indication as to what he’s like when he isn’t actively plotting against the world. He has all of exactly one detail that gives him any kind of depth beyond being a by-the-book video game nemesis, and that’s the fact that when he was a child he admired his grandfather Gerald Robotnik and wanted to be like him. This admiration however never leads anywhere, and the last time it was mentioned was in Shadow the Hedgehog, and even then only because the plot revolved around Shadow and Gerald’s actions in the past. Contrary to what he claimed in Sonic Lost World, Eggman isn’t really a ‘complicated guy’.

Otherwise we are never provided any insight as to how the ARK incident impacted him or how it factors into his motivations, if at all- one can theorize that the treatment of his grandfather might be one of the stronger motivating factors of his mission for world conquest, but on the other hand, one can just as easily come to the conclusion that while he indeed respects and admires his grandfather and was probably upset over what happened, his goals are disconnected to that incident and his motivations are purely ego driven. Could be one, could be the other, but the fact of the matter is that there is not definite answer because it is never actually explored in the games. We don’t even have a clue as to what his thoughts or feelings about Maria and her death were.

You see where I’m getting at with this? 

Much about this franchise is what we can take from what we are provided with, what we can interpret and how we can explore mud puddles as if they had the depths of the ocean. It’s about looking past what’s set in stone, peering through the cracks and wondering what more there could be. It’s about exploring the aspects that the games themselves don’t see fit to elaborate upon. There are thousands of interpretations and ideas for how things came to be the way they are, thousands of ideas about what we *aren’t* shown or told about the characters and how they are when we do not see them in the games. It’s what makes this fandom so diverse and so wonderful.

So with all that in mind, you can imagine how I feel whenever I see this particular criticism, accusing Robotnik of being ‘boring’ or ‘lacking depth’ or anything of the like. Especially given that the character he’s being compared to when it comes up isn’t exactly a vast ocean of depth himself. People are free to disagree with the direction or the interpretation, but in a lot of cases this is one of those times when a personal opinion is being treated as an objective fact. It’s hypocritical and utterly maddening, and it carries with it a certain degree of ‘your shit stinks and mine doesn’t’.

And you know, if SatAM Robotnik DOES come off as less developed... well frankly, what do people expect? He is from a series that was made twenty years ago with a run of twenty six episodes, and no more. He is literally stuck in  time, a time when his existence was perfectly acceptable according to SEGA’s policy and marketing strategies. Otherwise? He isn’t used. The universe he is a part of isn’t used. He’s not even really referenced in a meaningful way anymore. There is literally no way for him to go any further than when the series ended. By contrast, Eggman will always be used for as long as the games are made and always be allowed to try new things, use new machines, commit new acts and rise to new heights or sink to new lows. For this though, SatAM Robotnik is innately lesser?

And you know, I can understand where a good portion of it comes from, beyond the game purists who kinda hated all the spinoffs for not matching the games by default. For the longest time this version of Robotnik was touted as the ‘best’, and for those who were not fans of this depiction it could get impossibly grating to hear it over and over again, this endless praise of something they couldn’t get the appeal of to begin with. When you’re told something is great over and over again when you don’t like it, or if something you might otherwise feel neutral about is similarly shoved into your face constantly, you start looking for flaws out of the simple resentment that it almost seems like you’re being *forced* into liking something. Heck, even when you might be neutral about a subject, having it overhyped can sour you to it.

So, having said aaaalll of that? The point of order is that I do not agree with this criticism, nor do I agree with the bulk of the mentality behind it. It frames things in such a way that makes it seems like the two incarnations are actively competing with one another, which is ludicrous given that the Games Eggman is... well... Games Eggman. He’s never, ever going to go anywhere or be replaced, so long as the games are made. I like Eggman, and I like SatAM Robotnik, and I like the fact that they are distinct from one another. I don’t need Eggman to become more like Robotnik- and for the record, I don’t think he’s a pussywillow or anything, even limiting his actions to the classic games. As outlined here, Eggman is a pretty nasty character beneath all the goofiness, having a bevy of truly horrible deeds to his name. I find complaints about him being ‘too evil’ in Archie to be fairly ludicrous given all of his actions across the games. What was the Death Egg gonna do thenm if it had successfully carried out its purpose? Pop open and spray confetti over everything while a big banner unfolded with the words “GOT YA!!” written on it, complet with a doodle of Eggman blowing a raspberry? Eggman is pretty damn nasty as is. I just feel that his SatAM counterpart is *nastier*, and as the many posts preceding this have established, I have a heavy appreciation for that fact. 

In sumary- we all have different tastes, we all have different likes, and it’s impossible to get everybody to like what they like. These are acceptable. What I don’t find acceptable is when facts are ignored or details downplayed in order to make the things that I enoy seem flatter or more limited than they actually are. Especially given how, when used, this particular criticism is often based more on opinion. As such, I heavily, heavily dispute this particular argument regarding this incarnation of Robotnik’s value as a character.

With that, the academic (for a loose definition of ‘academic’) portion of the retrospective officially comes to a close. All that remains now is to post the next installment, which will conclude the entirety of the retrospective.

Until next time, folks!