#unless I’m horrible misremembering

[bagel-is-yum]

So we got strings, sax, percussion, and whatever @marinipanini plays

gender check?

She/her/they(if you’re talking to the cops)

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

[themapisonfire]

This may sound strange but have you ever drawn a sexy plague doctor? I can’t describe it but I feel like I’ve seen a sexy plague doctor drawn in a style very similar to yours before at some point. And now I’m wondering if it was you or just horrible misremembering

Just misremembering, unless I am. I don’t recall ever really drawing a sexy plague doctor though.

[scoops404]

When you first started talking about two fools you mentioned there would be some snf, and maybe I’m just bad at comprehending things so I was just wondering what part of it was snf 😭 unless you didn’t meant romantic and I just assumed lol

You didn't misremember!

Spoilers under the cut

The idea was (and still is) that *something* bromantic happened with Sapnap on that first heat that Dream had to leave for -- in chapter 1. George, thankfully, doesn't remember it, but Sapnap had to help him. I imagined, to the point that he had to put on Dream's clothes so he smelled like the alpha and George's omega wouldn't feel rejected. Sapnap couldn't leave the room or George would try to follow him out and cry so he had to just sit there while George went through this horrible ordeal, crying because he wanted his alpha to help him, except that Sapnap wasn't *his* alpha. So there's some wiggle room for what exactly took place (and plenty of time before the heat really got fully underway where they could have talked about boundaries and what was okay and what wasn't, etc -- also a strict order from George to not tell him anything that happened on pain of death)

This was always going to be a DNF story because that's just how I roll, but yeah. Sometimes you can have a little snf treat if you read between the lines heehee

[artfightdramaconfessions]

Airr anon here; I remember she posted on her profile about being angry, unless I’m misremembering horribly and I’ve mixed her up with someone else. If I have, then I’m sorry. :(

No worries, anon! We'll see if someone else remembers and can clear it up! :)

[a-froger-epic]

I tend to like your takes on fandom wank and associated topics, but I still do think you dropped the ball on some of the genital preference discourse, sorry. There are gay people who feel that arguing it’s only about preference is analogous to conversion therapy. Because if you argue some gay men can be attracted to certain bodies, it follows logically that all of them can, which is the same rhetoric used by conversion therapists. I know that’s not what you’re doing. But that’s why some gay people become defensive when the term genital preference is used. Preference implies homosexuality can be changed or is fluid. I also know you didn’t reblog that to start the discourse again so you can ignore this ask. I’m still a fan of you and your work generally. But I think we disagree here.

Hi, anon! First of all, thank you so much for engaging in such a friendly and reasonable manner, I am excited by real discourse like this and truly appreciate it!

I hear what you are saying, but I feel like the context of what happened back there was a little different. The whole genital preference thing came up, if I remember correctly (maybe I'm misremembering something?) because an anon who themselves said they were pansexual sent me an ask along the lines of "I don't understand how bodies can matter so much to people" and I replied with something like "yes, I'm also not bothered about the physical generally, but some people have genital preferences and others don't". Unless I'm completely misremembering, I think the genital preference thing always referred to *all people*, not specifically homosexual people.

For example, there certainly are straight people who just would not ever sleep with someone whose body is of the same sex as them, and I think that is their absolute right. I actually feel quite passionately about this because I don't think "you're transphobic if you're not sexually into this person, you bigot" is a sane line of arguing. I think it's shocking to demand of lesbians to like "girl dick" and I don't think gay guys must be into trans guys when they are really into dick. Watch, some anon is going to come along now and call me transphobic for this, but I think pressuring people into being attracted to or having sex with people they are not attracted to is horrible. End of story.

Equally, I absolutely don't think that "if some gay men can be attracted to certain bodies, it follows logically that all of them can".

I don't think that logically follows at all. I think this is where we actually disagree. Saying that some human beings prefer certain genitals in a partner and others don't doesn't imply to me that therefore all human beings have a fluid sexuality. No, I don't think that at all. The whole point I was trying to make is that to some people the physical bodies of their sex partners matter a lot more than to others. I stand by that, because from my personal experience, it's true. I know straight people who are absolutely repulsed sexually by same sex bodies, I know gay people who are equally repulsed by opposite sex bodies, and I know gay and straight people who seem to care a lot less about it but still strictly identify as gay or straight. (At the end of the day, we also don't all universally define those labels the exact same. What gay or straight or bi means to people is individual to some degree, even though I understand concerns around where a definitive meaning should be attached to those words. This is actually quite a difficult topic, and I think there's a lot of tension currently around younger generations using labels quite liberally where older generations have fought for those labels to be recognised and decriminalised and now feel like they are losing their meaning. Whole can of worms right there.) And of course there are bi/pan/queer people to whom genitals don't matter at all.

Though the reactions from anons I got back then for what I felt was a fairly neutral "humans have different parameters of attraction" position (many of those anon messages I never published) was an entire storm of crass language calling me a disgusting homophobe so I was like, wow, there's no point even trying to argue.

[khamaulingyourface]

Interestingly enough there is a difference between them and Clowns are more so a type of Jester IRRC

Jesters are as the name implies those who jest, they take jabs at those in the audience and anyone else they’re hecklers and make a fool of you.

Clowns are self fools who typically make one laugh with their self inflicted zany antics, however some clowns may do audience participation therefore bringing the jester skill into play.

Even more interestingly though is that jesters are more of an ancestor to clowns and now clowns are the main species group for them. But if you ever see a jester make a fool of themself that’s a clown while a clown makes a fool of someone they are in fact still a clown.

Unless I’m horribly horribly misremembering everything in which case I am the clown, and perhaps the jester

Is a jester a type of clown?

Undoubtedly!

[last-flight-of-fancy]

About Luxu taking a keyblade from Young Xehanort, we did see that Riku did it to Sora. Though we were told then that it was because the key had chosen Riku first, but KH is not immune to retroactively changing things

I think it was MoM in that scene, unless I’m horribly misremembering things, but regardless yes! You’re right Riku did do that. Though considering it was his keyblade to start with I’d personally file that under Extenuating Circumstances.

Although there is something to be said about… idk maybe all keyblades started with MoM in some way…

OR! Or or or perhaps different types of keyblades having different connections to their weilders? Like what is the difference exactly between the many varied and unique keyblades we see in the contemporary cast vs the almost… mass produced appearance of say Starlight or whatever the variant the Scala kids used is called?

I’m rattling my cage we just don’t know

[percydarling]

Fred Lives (But does he really?)

Chapter 2 : Shock

His family look at him, expecting a reply since he was seen last with Percy.

He can't say it. He can't.

So what comes out of his mouth is " I'm so sorry."

That's when their expressions change, when they realise what it means, what he's trying to convey to them.

His mum grabs him and shakes him, refusing to believe.

"NO,NO,NO,NO,NO,no,no,no,no"

She repeats it again and again, louder at first unless it slows down to mumbling as if she's trying to convince herself that it isn't true.

Dad almost falls down, but Bill catches him and Dad grips Bill so hard as if afraid that Bill would die too. Bill isn't any better, his face is pale as if he can't believe it either.

Fred can't even look at George and Ginny, he can't even meet his Mum's eyes as he bows down his head.

It's even worse when they see the body.

Mum notices first, it really isn't difficult to, the bright Weasley red hair sticks out among the browns and the blacks. Fred didn't even know that there were people carrying bodies. There shouldn't be so many bodies.

Mum lets out a bloodcurdling scream, that has everyone in the Hall shocked, as she races to Percy. Harry jumps startled and even Fred loses his footing and almost falls but George catches him.

Mum's scream was so deafening, there was a silence in the Hall as everyone stood as still as a statue, and stared at her with pity. It sent chills down Fred's spine over how the scream was full of grief and shock. It scared him to hear mum like that.

Dad goes after his wife, attempting to comfort her but a mother's grief no bounds. Mum has lost her brothers to the First War and now a son to the Second. There is no comfort that Dad could ever offer.

Fred feels guilty, he's only thinking about Mum and not Dad. He has no clue as to what Dad's feeling at the moment. He doesn't think he ought to even ask.

Bill breathes heavily before following them, his eyes still in shock and head down. Fred thinks Bill might feel responsible for it ( eventhough Bill ought not to. He wasn't there) Being the eldest is a bane and a boon, and right now it's the former.

Bill holds Percy in his arms. Fred watches. Bill might have been there to hold Percy when he was born and now he's holding him when he's dead. Irony is a funny thing.

The younger four go together to his body, Ron and Ginny hold hands and George holds his. Fred doesn't know what he would do without George. Probably crash and burn to the ground.

Fred can't meet any of his family memebers' eyes. He can't. It's just too hard.

Hermione and Harry linger behind them as they sit around Percy. Harry was probably going to blame himself. Fred's really tired of everyone blaming themselves for something they couldn't control.

Percy's still dead. Fred thought he might wake up. Maybe some Weasley magic or something but he's still dead.

Fred was there, he saw it happen, he saw Percy die but even then he can't believe it. It's just impossible to think of a Weasley dying. Dad and Bill survived, why does Percy die?

"It's not fair", Ginny mutters as she runs her hand in Percy's curls.

Ginny shouldn't be here to see this. He knows she grew up. He knows she's strong and fierce and lovely. But he also knows that Ginny is young. Maybe not innocent, but she's young.

And the young don't deserve this. They don't deserve the fear and the loss. They deserve better.

Fred failed to deliver to Ginny. He failed to do better. She was never innocent, but now she's not young either.

He agrees with her, it's not fair. But a little part of him is glad that Percy died and not him. It wasn't like that it changed the family as much.

Percy wasn't around for the last 3 years. He wasn't there when Dad almost died or when Bill got the scars. He wasn't there.

Fred was. Not Percy.

Those thoughts make Fred feel horrible but he knows that deep down he and probably other family members know it's true.

George squeezes Fred's hand as he looks at his dead brother.

Mum is still clutching and has Percy's head on his lap as she caressed his face, which has no life. Dad holds Percy's hand, something he should have done when he was alive and not lying dead on the floor.

Bill holds Percy's other hand, rubbing it across him as if trying to make it alive again and give some of his life to him.

"WHERES MY FAMILY"

A holler echoes through the hall.

There's no mistaking the voice. Despite not hearing it in a while, he cannot misremember the voice.

It was Charlie.

Charlie doesn't know.

Fred doesn't know how to go through that ordeal again. He can't tell Charlie. He doesn't want to move from Percy's side either. He's paralyzed in this position.

Ron, his eyes tired and scars on his body. He looks at Percy as if he was a stranger. Fred knows Ron cares. Of course he bloody does. But there is no emotion, no tear, no anger. Ron just stares at Percy. It makes Fred question whether Ron, who wears his emotions on his sleeves, is sad or not.

Ron stands.

Ron (the bravest of them all) calls out to Charlie and then there's this big toothy grin on Charlie's face which... which would be wiped out very soon.

Every slow step Charlie takes, causes Fred to get anxious. He just wants it over and done with. Maybe it's an awful thing to want but he just wants this over with.

"Finally I found you lot, what-"

That's when he notices Percy.

"PERCY"

It's another scream, another grief that won't be healed as fast as we want it to.

Bill holds Charlie as he sobs. Two elder brothers crying for the younger one. They'll probably share the blame.

Charlie doesn't cry. Fred had never seen Charlie cry, even in the worst of situations. Charlie gets a pass because of the circumstances.

Seeing Charlie sob over Percy is even worse because Charlie wasn't present when Percy apologised, he didn't hear his brother's last words.

Charlie didn't even get a chance.

And it makes Fred heart break all the more.

------

Fred lives(bdhr?) - Part1

[imthepunchlord]

For the Dodged a Beetle AU, it really is astounding to think about how many events, especially in Season 1, would either be drastically changed or not happen at all due to the Alya-Lila switch. Especially since it seems like such a little thing at first. Going through the list, I can already think of two akumas that wouldn’t occur at all:

Lady Wifi (at least not before Alya gets to the school)

Volpina (no conflict between Lila and Ladybug over Adrien; Lila already has a Miraculous)

And that’s to say nothing about the episodes that would be drastically altered in terms of plot:

The Pharaoh (I can’t see Bella Stella holding a textbook while transformed; I’m not sure why Ladybug had it with her while trying to stop a helicopter to be honest)

Copycat (Chat Noir doesn’t have reason to be jealous of Theo since he’s not convinced he’s in love with Bella Stella, so unless he plays up their will-they-won’t-they shtick in an obnoxious enough way, Theo won’t have as strong a response enough to become an akuma)

The Puppeteer (if you’re following the lineup of the events of Volpina coming at the end of Season 1 since that’s where Alya comes in, there would be no Lady Wifi for Bella Stella to fight, making the battle easier)

Antibug (would probably just be Vanisher since Bella Stella is more keen on playing up her relationship with Chloe and not showing her frustration in public)

Kung Food (no Alya to set up Adrien helping Marinette with Chinese; Marinette may or may not have the gumption yet to tell Chloe off enough to get her pissed enough to mess with the soup, but Chloe’s horrible anyways so she might do it just because; Marinette might go guard her great-uncle and his soup due to still being more wary of Chloe and wanting to spend time with her great-uncle due to the ice not being quite broken yet, preventing Kung Food from happening)

And that’s only the immediate stuff that I noticed in, like, two minutes of thinking, so there’s still stuff I could be missing or misremembering that would be affected. It’s just kinda crazy to ponder, y’know? What are your thoughts on it?

See, this is why I love aus like these, that such a minor little change can switch up a lot. And it's set ups like these that I enjoy thinking most.

The later Lila eps that involve her being an akuma will be changed up, Chameleon won't happen, Gabriel won't have Volpina to upset the crowd in the s2 finale.

Through Tikki and Marinette, Lila will be improving; Chloe may as well too as Lila is quite spiteful and unlike Marinette, won't be bowing to Adrien's "holier-than-thou" attitude so Chloe will be facing consequences.

But anything else that specifically changes, I can't say yet as I haven't thought about it. My focus has been elsewhere. But you are on point with some. Lady Wifi won't happen, and neither will Volpina. Lila also won't be drawing in Gabriel's attention as she doesn't hate LB, she is LB.

Alternatively, Chloe could end up being made Gabriel's lackey.

It's hard to say atm.

[wakkoroni]

Omg this is getting long, how exciting! And thank you! I’m still learning their voices and mannerisms so the dialogue might be a little ooc but I’m slowly figuring it out.

In terms of how Ed killed the guy, maybe a bad hit or in desperation he transmuted his arm into a blade and stabbed/sliced him? Idk

Riza definitely helps and so does Roy after he heals up a bit and finds out and he would absolutely blame himself for putting the boys in that situation he’s like “forgive me, I never wanted you to experience that-“ and Ed is like “don’t worry about it” and I feel like Ed would refuse to talk about it at first before opening up

I also only watched brotherhood a while back and it might not have been falman? But I do remember a scene where it was one of his men crying and begging for mercy to (I think king Bradley) and then apologizing to Roy for not being able to do it? I think in the end he was spared and everything was okay but I might be misremembering which is highly possible

EVIL MAES HUGHS???? YOU ARE EVILLLLL and I love that however, who is the villain here? The military? But like isn’t the military rn run by king Bradley? So would the humonculi have his hostage? Cause that could work and open up possibilities for torture?

Having Hughes be evil pains me so much- cause he’s such a good friend like he wouldn’t- (unless you really want to) but what if (in the case that this is the humonculi) Hughes dies a little differently? Like he can die but Envy hides his body and shapeshifts into him and blends in for the next idk while, people notice smth is up with Hughes but it’s nothing ya know? And then he “goes off on a mission” OMG HE CAN JOIN ROY ON THE MISSION AND THEY BOTH GO OFF THE GRID and Roy gets the betrayal angst cause he thought that it was his friend but then gets hit with more angst cause turns out his bestie is actually DEAD and he feels like a horrible friend for not noticing

That way Roy isn’t going off alone (so it doesn’t raise red flags to his team) and he gets kidnapped, thoughts? (I can flesh this out more if needed)

The idea with Christmas works idk too much about them so I can’t pitch too much

Omg if he loses his mind and doesn’t recognize Ed and Al- THE ANGST POTIENTAL OF THEM TRYING TO BREAK THROUGH TO HIM OMGGG

Lmao I doubt Ed would ever admit to staying with Roy because he needs to make sure his dad is okay I would imagine it more along the lines like him making sure he’s okay throughout the night but like also Ed: the heaviest sleeper known to man

Also the Pegasus fam is such a cool name

Lmao yeah being a fanfic writer has you learn a lot of stuff that is not necessarily socially acceptable? Like I also know a bit about torture and writing psychotic villains

That’s the fun part about writing like yeah I know how to treat stab wounds and bullets, and what about it?

Gonna be real, but i cannot stop thinking about recovery fics and how beautiful they are. They are amazing, the way we see the character gets better always just makes me feel so inspired, the way that they learn to get over- or get around- the thing that hurt them. The way that they learn to be alive and living. How to love themselves and embrace what happened to them.

As much as i love these types of fics, i only wrote like, two maybe? With this idea (I love and have written torture more than recovery) . And it got me thinking… why not write a whole recovery fic?

It is no secret that i love parental Roy and Riza to the Elrics, and how they take him after he was being hurt and help him recover and be better and feel better.

BUT

But.

I am proposing another idea. Same child parent dynamic. Roy And the Elrics. Here is what i am thinking:

Evil Millirty hating how good and you Mustang is and they know he is a threat + them setting up to kidnap him by evil gang or something + team Mustang for some reason not being that loyal in finding him + Elrics stop their red stone research and to find their missing dad CO+ THEM SAVING THIER ADULT + FAMILY DRAMA AND PROTECTIVE SONS™️= my new fic idea

Which has traumatized Roy who is trying his best not being so traumatized but in the middle of it all, the Elrics discover How badly hurt thier adult is!

WHO IS WITH ME!!?

[butchladymaria]

ummm elden ring spoilers potentially but

very curious and intrigued by this irina lady

so my first playthrough of the start of the game i went with vagabond and got to liurna before being like. wow i really hate playing vagabond and switching to bandit

when i got to the grace lamp thing in liurna by the cliffs though i was kinda confused because there was a woman there who looked exactly like irina, who was dead after i completed her questline in castle morne

and i was… confused.

because she said the same thing about weak eyesight since birth as irina, looked exactly the same. i guess i just chalked it up to this new character just having a reused model. disappointing, sure, but not all that surprising. maybe the weak eyesight is like, a finger-maiden thing (which is a phrase i will NEVER be able to say without giggling lmao).

she was asking about shabriri grapes. i had no idea what those were — i’d actually only made it to liurna by accident, through a weird secret tunnel i found past the first boss margot the fell or whatever his name was.

fast forward to my second attempt. hadn’t completed the castle morne sidequest before reaching liurna, took that same shortcut. so ostensibly, irina is still alive.

but the lookalike woman by the grace wasn’t there.

i thought maybe i misremembered where she was, but there were a load of notes around where i thought she should be indicating that wasn’t the case.

what’s more, i found a shabriri grape in this backdoor entrance to stormveil castle — presumably where you’d exit after felling that first boss. on top of that — unless i’m remembering wrong — one of the starting items is a shabriri talisman that makes everything want you dead so badly?

well the whole thing seems very suspicious to me — but i will say this, if i’m right about something odd going on, i… am actually quite relieved! my first run of irina’s quest had me severely rolling my eyes. like, i know fromsoft games like to have their poor fair maidens who need to be saved and are slaughtered horribly anyway, but this was feeling just… grotesquely on the nose, nearly to the point of feeling like self-parody. like, they’re not even being subtle about fridging women. maybe they’re doing something more interesting for a change — though i don’t think ill get my hopes up just yet lmao

regardless this is just my speculation — i don’t mind small hints, but please no spoilers :)

[robocracker]

also though, correct me if i’m wrong but was that matthew’s car on the tracks?? because i could have sworn his car looks similar to that, maybe i’m severely misremembering, but...

if that’s him and fenisha in danger with lev, then i have a horrible feeling lev’s going to be the one at most risk. after all, we know from this trailer of august 14th’s episode that ethan ends up in a hospital bed, so i can’t imagine they’d put fenisha’s life seriously on the line if they intend to hospitalise ethan a week later. unless her getting hurt/potentially killed off is what escalates his own condition??

alternatively, matthew might decide to get self-sacrificial for his grand romantic gesture, and die protecting her...

either way, i am so not emotionally prepared for next week’s episode

[krinsbez]

Random Bat-Fam Thought

I'm gonna blather on about the return of King Snake, which for some reason I've been thinking about lately, as it's one of my favorite examples of villains not thinking things through, in hopes of inspiring y'all to share your own such faves. Note: it is possible I am misremembering and it isn't quite as dumb as it sounds. So, a bit of background. King Snake is a a wealthy British businessman of aristocratic background who lives in Hong Kong, and is also the leader of the Ghost Dragons, an international Chinese street gang. Also, he's the old archetype, the blind martial arts master, and a also an enormous mountain of muscle (presumably one of the reasons he was retconned into being Bane's biological father). He was the primary antagonist of Tim's first mini, in which he planned to unleash a bioweapon on Hong Kong so that the China couldn't have it (while it's not explicitly stated, it's heavily implied that the dude is hella racist against East Asians). The story climaxed with Tim and Shiva (and another dude, but he's not relevant) storming his skyscraper HQ, and Shiva throwing him off it's roof. So, when he shows up next in Tim's ongoing, he's somehow managed to not only survive but made a more-or-less full physical recovery....but not a psychological one, being wracked by horrible PTSD nightmares of that night...from which he has entirely edited Shiva out of (because apparently being beaten like a redheaded stepchild on his home ground by a white teenage boy is more acceptable to him than being beaten by a world-class assassin who happens to be a Chinese woman). He has concluded that the only way to fully recover is to avenge his humiliation...but also realized that he won't be able to kill Robin unless he first kills Batman. So, he has come to Gotham and started a massive gang war, in hopes of...I was going to say luring Batman into a trap, but it doesn't really qualify. Basically, he's created a scenario where Batman will have to fight him an environment that's lightless. And not, like, some carefully chosen location full of traps and/or where he's mapped out every nook and cranny, just...some random place with no light. OIW, he assumes that, believing he was beaten on his home ground by a child, he will have absolutely no problems defeating the grown-ass man who trained said child on HIS home turf, because being blind will give him an advantage in the dark...against a guy called BATman who only comes out at night. Seriously.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x11 Swan Song

Wow. Selling your kids into slavery, just wow!

Wait, how did Rumple get the wavy sword. Is that the wavy sword?

I can’t wait for Emma to stop being the Dark One, oh my God.

Wait, why is Zelena so sure the Dark Ones won’t attack her?

Robin, that pointy arrow isn’t gonna do anything against the Dark Ones. 

Why doesn’t Regina just teleport them away??

Aaah! Get away from Snowing!

Henry, run!

Why can’t they just stay away from the ferry?

This was really freaking awful of Dark Hook. I mean, even Rumple would never try to kill all his loved ones as the Dark One. What the hell?! He tried to Orphan Emma and baby Neal and kill Henry, who’s a freaking child!! This was a step too far. I don’t know what the writers were thinking here. The very fact that he tried to kill Emma’s son seems irredeemable. I don’t think a season 1-season 3 Emma would ever forgive that. I don’t even think season 4 Emma would. It’s just unrealistic that anyone would forgive their lover for trying to kill their child and parents, consumed by darkness or not. Step too far.

I think fire and brimstone is worse than the Underworld, unless you’re to be tortured like Hook. Why did Hades torture Hook so much, anyway?

Is that the only time Regina calls him Killian?

They missed such a huge opportunity, not having Regina face her victims in the underworld. It had a good possibility for growth.

It’s weird seeing Hook have power over Regina like that. 

Didn’t Colin say they did it in that carriage? Or am I misremembering? Ah well, I like to think of them having had a few sexual encounters as canon. He totally did it with Cora too.

Oh God, this is horrible!! Her whole damn family! This was beyond cruel to all those involved.

Oh yeah. When Rumple went out back to get Excalibur, didn’t he tether it to himself or something. In that moment he made the decision to become the Dark One again, I think.

How the heck did she know how to find his father? And how mean, making it part of the deal that he kill a parent too. Maybe it made her feel better that way. Wouldn’t it have been easier to control one of her guards via their heart and force them to kill her mother? Or even to control Hook with his heart?

Zelena, baby, you can’t call your kid Pistachio!! Omg. I’m headcanoning Robin Jr.’s middle name to be Pistachio!

Regina really doesn’t like those name options lol.

“The withered knob of that sad old man.” Oh my God!! I’m screaming!!!!

BULLCRAP!! No your memory does not freaking serve because you have to use dark freaking magic to control that wand and your magic wasn’t dark enough!! It’s nothing to do with power or believing in yourself, what the hell?! Regina must have done some dark crap recently to get that thing to work.

Zelena, just teleport away!

Zelena, noooo! Gonna miss her! She made this arc bearable! 

Killian, for God’s sake. Do something! Reverse it somehow!

How does he know that’s not Liam? I guess the straight hair?

He left more than a century ago. Killian is over one hundred years old at this point! I worked it out with the help of Baelfire arriving in Victorian England after Big Ben was created and Killian is at the very least 130 years old at this point in time! The timeline this season has been horrendous!

It’s very weird that that nurse ‘fell in love’ with a sleeping patient she’s never even communicated with and kissed him.

All this for freaking revenge. Leave the Charming’s alone!

I’m sorry? He doesn’t wanna hurt her?? He doesn’t wanna hurt her?? He wants to kill her entire freaking family! How is that not going to hurt her?

He’s doing this to get revenge on Rumple or Emma? Both? He’s saying he owes Emma, well then why doesn’t he just kill Rumple? Revenge achieved! He didn’t have to bring her family into this.

Killian: “And now because of that you get to watch everyone you live die.” Back the hell off!! Rumple had the darkness for years and he never would have killed Belle’s loved ones to spite her! Sure he would have killed her father but never out of spite for the person he loves!

Dark cs is so freaking toxic.

Killian: “Enjoy the time you have left with your family.” Get the hell out! Beyond evil! Nothing angers me like this episode! This was the final nail in the coffin for my love for cs. There was just no coming back from this in my opinion, especially because he acted perfectly normal before he remembered he was the Dark One.

Oh no!

How does Robin know the fairies will take Neal. What if no one thinks to look in the diner and he starves!!

Tbh I need to read an au where Emma raises her brother due to all this, though it will hurt like hell!

Henry: “So this is really it.” Hook (smiling): “I’m afraid it is, lad.” I am going to swear!! This is so unforgivable!

It is kinda out of order that he called his third son Liam after what he did to the first. It does kinda seem like he’s replacing him. 

That felt unnecessary. He just orphaned his little brother! He could have at least have made sure he was taken care of. How did Liam II age so much, anyway? I guess he wasn’t affected by the curse and wasn’t under Cora’s time freezing bubble somehow.

He should have absorbed the Dark One’s into the sword in the freaking first place!!

He did a 180 so fast.

How you gonna kiss him after he just tried to kill your whole family??! This was the first step in their relationship where they would just forgive each other for anything, no matter how toxic and would put their relationship above absolutely everything else, to the detriment of relationships with family. Like, he could quite literally kill her son and she’d probably forgive him.

Thank God! Emma got rid of that ridiculous outfit and hairstyle!! I am gonna cry happy tears for days!!

Aww. Henry called Belle!

Belle to Rumple: “you lied to me again! *makes out with him*. For the first time you were truly selfless.” Wtf Belle?! Did you not outright refuse to leave Storybrooke so you could get killed by a giant bear the other day because it was the ‘brave thing to do’, but then when your friends were in danger it was okay for Rumple to lie to you and tell you to leave? That makes no sense! This is kinda ooc and unrealistic. But then, is it ooc? It’s certainly the quickest she’s had a change of heart. And didn’t you just say you had to protect your heart from him like yesterday? I will never understand this woman. What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle. Is she on drugs?

She can still hear the dagger!

I don’t get it. Didn’t Excalibur crumble? 

Rumple, why??

That small vile of magic was hella convenient!

Rumple has Emma’s power as well as every other Dark One’s. Wow! 

They are all bananas going to the underworld. Leaving their babies without parents for what could be forever! And taking Henry (a child!) to the freaking underworld where they might never come back and Rumple literally just said it was a place worse than hell, where you’d beg for death!

Fun family trip to hell!

Their feet are gonna get wet.

Emma, you’re still talking like that! Please, I beg of you, stap it!

Hell no. You do not get to take “I will always find you.”!

Thank God this arc is over!! At least the next one’s a little better, I think.

[everybody-loves-purdy]

Regarding Bramblestar’s behaviour in Squirrelflight’s Hope

Minor spoilers for the book ahead but I won’t be tagging them as I feel these issues are something everyone should be aware of if they are even considering reading this book.

Heads up I will be talking about emotional abuse a lot in this post, not only in the context of this book but with my personal experiences with this kind of abuse so if you feel uncomfortable with these topics then feel free to stop reading.

In this book Bramblestar uses several abuse tactics against Squirrelflight and by the end of the book they are back together (I’ll talk more about that further down). I’m not sure how intentional these themes of abuse were in the book but it is handled poorly. Even though I don’t have time to dig out every single example of abuse (and I can’t remember what specific points of the book they were at) I will just name and discuss the abuse tactics used rather than show the examples, I am with two other people who have read the book and I am consulting with them to make sure I don’t misremember anything. If anyone does want a specific passage I will try and dig it up for you.

Abuse Tactic 1: Gaslighting

For those of you who don’t know what gaslighting is, it’s where an abuser will make their victim question themselves even though the victim is usually right. This is something done by an abuser to get more control over their victim by making their victim feel insecure. They will make the victim question their memory, judgement and even their sanity. It is a tactic that has been used on me a fair few times. Throughout the book Bramblestar makes Squirrelflight question her judgement with the Sisters situation, constantly telling her that she has bad judgement, is disloyal to her Clan, and that the Sisters are bad cats. He does it in a way which makes Squirrelflight both question her moral judgement and her place in ThunderClan, throughout the book she even fantasies several times about potentially joining the Sisters. Even though the audience can see that Squirrelflight’s plan is really good and probably the best way of solving things, Squirrelflight increasingly doubts herself and starts questioning herself more and more as the book goes on due to Bramblestar’s relentless attitude.

Abuse Tactic 2: Control

I’m not sure what specifically to call what Bramblestar is doing here other than control. Throughout the book he makes up several new rules that Squirrelflight must follow otherwise her position as deputy is threatened. The main one I can think of is that she can no longer make her own decisions, he makes it so she has to run EVERYTHING by him first. Squirrelflight has no freedom and must run everything she does by him, she cannot make a single decision as deputy without him approving it first, and during the book he often goes against what she says anyway as a means to gain control over her. During discussions with other leaders he often contridicts her and shuts her up, making her suggestions sound ridiculous and out of the question. At one point he even tells her not to say anything during a gathering, despite her having the right to voice any thoughts or concerns like everyone at a gathering.

Abuse Tactic 3: Silent Treatment

Throughout a large portion of the book, Bramblestar refuses to talk to Squirrelflight unless he has to (e.g telling her what she can and can’t do like in the previous paragraph) and it is done without any kind of emotion or with a cold detachment . Again this is a tactic that has been used against me and it is horrible, to have someone you love and care about completely ignore you for extended periods at time with you having little to no understanding as to what you did to deserve this treatment. It is extremely unnevering and isolating and makes you feel like you have no one. It is often a tactic used to make the victim beg for forgiveness despite having little understanding as to why they are being treated like this (I unfortunately have done this several times despite knowing in retrospect I did little or nothing wrong in those situations). Bramblestar also refuses to defend Squirrelflight in front of the other Clans when they call her a traitor, he stands there and let her take it, thus making her feel even more insecure and alone and I believe what he did in that situation can also class as gaslighting.

The effect on Squirrelflight

Like I said before throughout the book she becomes less and less sure of herself to the point where she questions her place in ThunderClan several times. She also does something that is typical of an abuse victim (it is something I have personally done) and avoids her abuser. In the book there is one segment about her assigning herself onto every single patrol so she will not have to be around Bramblestar. This is not done out of spite, it is done out of insecurity and fear, she did it because she was scared of initiating conversation with him while he is giving her the silent treatment, a fear I too experience whenever this tactic is used on me.

How he conflict is resolved in book

After Squirrelflight comes back to life Bramblestar apologies. But how he apologises also raises red flags for me

The key word highlighted here being “we”. He makes it sound like Squirrelflight also has equal blame in their relationship problems. She didn’t. Most of the problems with the relationship stemmed from Bramblestar and his attitude towards her. Also in another bit he specifically apologies for being wrong for the Sisters thing. He never once apologises for his behaviour or even acknowledges it. Neither does the book. It is something abusers do, I’m not sure how intentional it is but it does succeed in making the victim overlook the abuse they have just recieved out of the relief of getting an apology (again, personal experience). And honestly if she didn’t straight up die I don’t think Squirrelflight would have gotten an apology, Bramblestar probably would have remained abusive until she apologised to him (probably repeatedly). The fact that Bramblestar never addresses his behaviour implies that he has not learnt from the experience and so is prone to perform that behaviour again, especially as it has gone unchallenged (I don’t blame Squirrelflight at all for not challenging the behaviour by the way, that’s the effect it can have on people).

Why it is such a big problem

The biggest problem with this is the fact that this isn’t portrayed as red flags behaviour within the book itself. As an adult I can regonise the signs of abuse but a child may not be able to see how this is particularly wrong and may think of this as normal behaviour. It is not. Even though I have never experienced this abuse from a partner, I have experienced several of these abuse tactics (and some others) by someone in my life. This abuse is what I believe to have caused my anxiety to be so extreme. This abuse over the span of several years has lead my to become an adult who may trick themselves into thinking they are fine, but I can guarantee every two weeks or so I will have a full on breakdown for a period of several hours where I can barely function. It’s horrible. This form of abuse is serious with often permanent long lasting effects but in this book it is largely shrugged off. If this was a book aimed at adults then even though it is an issue, it might not be quite as big of an issue as it is. But this is a series aimed a children, an audience as, like I said, may be unable to tell the signs of abuse and instead perceive this as a normal relationship.

Bottom line is, Bramblestar is extremely absusive in this book and doesn’t do nearly enough to make up for his actions. I fully believe Squirrelflight should have gotten out of that relationship rather than back in it, their relationship is extremely unhealthy for Squirrelflight and the worst part is that the book does not address it as such.

Notes

I think that’s it, if I think of anything else I will reblog with anything extra. Also I would appreciate not being asked about my own experience with abuse, this is the first time I have publicly discussed it and it was hard enough for me to admit all this in the first place but given how similar the abuse that I have been exposed to is to the abuse Squirrelflight is exposed to in this book, I felt like I should draw some comparisons so people who haven’t been exposed to this kind of stuff can see how it can affect a person.

Also if you believe I got something wrong or there’s something I missed feel free to let me know, if I did get anything wrong or miss something out then it is completely unintentional.