#uni break means finally finishing this series --- hopefully

[barzzal]

hi! are you still writing call me crosby??

are u ready

[farfromstrange]

Your girl just finished her last uni exam today and is finally on break. That means I will finally have time to clean my apartment and (hopefully) get a lot of writing done!

You’re getting Chapter 2 of Austin (Owen Sleater x F!Reader) tonight!

Plus, you’re getting a bit more Matt content in the following days. I think now that all the stress is over, I will be able to write a few chapters for all of my series’ and maybe get some One Shots done.

That also includes going back to rewatching Kin and producing a bit more Mikey content (and continue with the angst plot line for Chaos Theory, which I’m just itching to write. Seriously, my fingers are tingling).

AND I can finally edit the requests I’ve been wanting to post for weeks now. I want to clean out my inbox so I can open my requests again when the new semester starts because I will have a bit more time on my hands (my timetable isn’t all that full, which is surprising, but I’m not complaining). I just love writing for you guys too much to keep them closed forever.

[procrastinatorimagines]

I Want Us Part 8

Fandom: Chicago PD / SVU

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 //  Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Pairing/s: Sonny Carisi x Intelligence!Reader

Warning/s: tw rape, murder, assault

Word Count: 1,269

Summary: The Intelligence Unit’s last case with Manhattan SVU had them flying out to New York to track down an abducted boy, and had Dectective Y/L/N and Detective Carisi growing close in the process. Now, a string of rape-murders in Chicago has SVU boarding the next flight out, believing the suspect to be the same man responsible for a set of identical crimes 10 years prior. As the case unfolds, Y/N and Carisi are brought back together, reigniting the spark between them.

Tags: @the-baby-bookworm​ // @inlovewith3​ //

The call came while you were still driving to the address you’d been given on Tate, now your prime suspect - Billy’s alibi for the first murder checked out easily, he was at a track meet with over a dozen witnesses, and there wasn’t exactly any point in checking his alibi for the New York murders, he’d been 7. 

Almost as soon as that call ended, you got a text on your phone. “You mind?” You nodded to your phone, giving Carisi permission to check it as you drove.

“It’s Jay, he says neither families have seen Billy or Tate before,” he relayed, “but that doesn’t mean Tate isn’t our guy, it’d make sense with what we’ve heard so far.��

“Still,” you sighed, turning Tate’s road, his apartment building just up a head, “we’re going to need something more to go on if we’re even going to get into his place, let alone arrest and charge him.”

Carisi couldn’t agree more as you both climbed out the car, making your way towards the building with your badges on hand. They’d get you through the main doors no problem, but getting further...

“Do you have a warrant?” What had you expected, honestly? Standing before the landlord in the main lobby you were greeting with the question you’d seen coming a mile away. 

“Is he here?” Carisi asked anyway, hoping you’d at least find out something useful, even if this turned out to mostly be wasted trip.

“Nah, he hasn’t been back here since yesterday, I’ve got some mail waiting that I need him to take off of my hands,” the landlord explained, sounding bored and impatient with the conversation already. He’d given you something, at least; Tate hadn’t gone home after he’d given his statement to you, he must have somewhere else to lay low - but where?

“You ever seen either of these women before?” Carisi tried, holding up photos of the two Chicago victims on his phone. The landlord shrugged and shook his head.

“Okay, thanks for your time,” you told him, pulling your card out of your pocket, “but if he does come back, at least give us a call?” He grunted in what you couldn’t tell was agreement or not, but he took the card and walked away, which presumably meant you could both see yourselves out.

You grumbled in frustration as soon as you were outside, knowing you’d been this close to your killer and let him slip away, and now you didn’t know where he was. “We’ll post some unis outside in an unmarked car,” Carisi told you, already making the call as you wandered once again back to your car, fresh out of leads to follow.

“Let’s call Benson, see where Tate lived the time of the New York murders, maybe it’ll be enough for a judge to issue a warrant,” you said, casting a glance back at the apartment building. 

“Food?” Carisi suggested once you got to the car. It had been a while, you realised, all this running around you’d been doing hadn’t really left any time for breaks - food was definitely not a bad idea.

“I could eat,” you replied with a smile, dialing Benson’s number as you got back behind the wheel.

“Tell me you have more than we do,” she answered by way of greeting, sounding as frustrated by this case as you. 

You explained the situation as concisely as possible. “Do you think you could find out his old address?”

“Yeah, should only take a moment, stay on the line?” You hummed in agreement and put it on speaker as you heard her place her phone down and begin to type on her keyboard. 

“New York,” Benson confirmed after a moment, “want to try for a warrant?”

“That’s circumstantial at best, I can’t see a judge signing off on that,” Carisi noted, not being happy about saying it though. He was right, but neither of you liked it.

You clicked your tongue, hesitating before saying: “I could ask Voight to maybe-”

“No,” Benson cut in quickly, “we do this by the book, if this is our guy, which I think it is, I don’t want to do anything to jeopardise putting him away for good, understood?”

“Loud and clear Captain,” you promised genuinely.

“Good, Kat and I will look into Tate’s history in New York, maybe we’ll find something we missed now that we know who we’re looking for, we’ll keep you posted,” she informed you both.

“Thanks Cap, we’ll be in touch,” Carisi signed off and you leaned your head back on the seat’s headrest, eyes closed. You only opened them again when you felt Carisi’s hand on your leg.

“Come on, let’s go eat, re-energise and re-focus,” he said, somehow always managing to make you feel instantly better. You nodded and turned on the ignition, knowing exactly where you could grab a quick bite nearby.

You were half way through your sandwich, feeling a bit more self-conscious than usually about how you were eating in the presence of a guy you liked - not that he’d care - when you got yet another phonecall. 

“Hey Kev,” you said, pressing answer with your little finger and hurriedly swallowing what was in your mouth. 

“Hey, Voight asked us to go back through the CCTV from Lily Hamilton’s murder, we’d been looking for the bentley the first time around, but this time we were looking for Tate’s car, just incase.”

“And?” You asked, alert, putting your sandwich down and brushing your hands together as you shared a hopeful look with Carisi.

“We got it,” Kev answered. Was this is? The breakthrough you needed? "Now, the main street cams don’t catch enough, but Vanessa found a private security system set up nearby the cite where her body was discovered. I’ll send you the screen grabs, you tell me how guilty you think this looks.”

Two pings on your phone came a second later, images of a man emerging from Tate’s car carrying a very large bag - definitely large enough for a body. “We got him,” you said triumphantly.

“It gets better,” another voice joined the call from the other end, Hailey’s. “We did some digging into that date the second vic’s sister mentioned and get this, both girls had dates, I’m sending you both the dating profiles and messages we found now-”

Carisi got them up on his phone, showing you briefly and nodding.

“-and it’s pretty damning. They look like different guys at first, but the script is the same, prince charming, true love, you get the picture when you read the messages, anyway, it looks like both girls went to meet up with their mysterious date the nights they went missing.”

“Can we track the IP, see where the messages came from?” You asked, already turning on the ignition yet again, ready to catch this guy once and for all.

“They came from the same location,” she confirmed.

“Tate’s apartment?” Carisi asked hopefully.

“No, a storage facility basically between both the current crime scenes,” she explained, “it’s not under Tate’s name but we called the owner, the man who rents the facitily matches the description, right down to the scar.” 

Another ping on your phones had Carisi showing you the address of the storage facility. “I assume that’s enough for warrants now?” You asked.

“You’ll have everything you need by the time you arrive,” you heard Voight confirm from somewhere else in the room, “I want you and Carisi at the storage facility, Burgess, Dawson and Ruzek will meet you there with Benson and Tamin, the rest of us will head to the apartment.”

“Let’s finish this,” Carisi told you after Voight hung up. You certainly didn’t need to be told twice.

[writing-is-my-guilty-pleasure]

Patient || Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader ~ Part 4

A/N: Part 4! Thanks for everyone’s patience (lol) with this part - Uni has been incredibly time consuming and I’ve just been too tired to write anything - so I’m trying to write a few things in advance on my Christmas holiday! I think there should only be one or two more parts in this series, and feedback is always welcome :)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 

Main Masterlist

Star Wars Masterlist

“What’s your reason?” Your eyes flickered up to meet Kylo’s after he spoke, trying to make sense of his question as your eyes unintentionally trailed over his face.

“My reason for what, Sir?” You eventually replied as you gave up trying to figure out what he was talking about. Why did he have to speak so cryptically? “You’re going to have to give me more than that – it could mean anything knowing you.” You smiled cheekily at him from your position at the end of his bed; this time he’d called you with a deep gash stretching up the side of his left leg. It looked incredibly painful, and you couldn’t comprehend how he was purposefully putting himself through this much pain just to see you – at least, that’s what you hoped he was doing, otherwise you were completely misreading this whole situation.

“You reason for joining the First Order.” Kylo spoke bluntly. “You’ve been fixing me up for months now, and yet I feel like we are still strangers to each other.” If you hadn’t just averted your gaze back to his leg, you might have noticed the corners of his lips twitch up into the slightest shadow of a smile – but it was gone as quickly as it came.

“Oh! Oh, right, of course.” You smiled. “Well, my father was the Chief Medical Officer when he was in the First Order, and on his breaks he’d always try and teach me as much as he could about medicine before my mother caught him teaching me things that were too gory or troubling for my ‘young eyes’.” You huffed out a laugh at the thought of your parents. “So I joined because I wanted to be a Doctor and to hopefully be the Chief Medical Officer myself one day – I love my father and I’d be proud to follow in his footsteps and be as half as successful as he was.”

“And I wouldn’t say we’re strangers – I mean I’m pretty familiar with your body by now.” Your eyes widened at the realisation of what you said, and you continued in slight panic. “Not like that! I didn’t mean it to sound like that at all, Sir, oh dear.” You sighed, deflated. “I look like such an idiot now.” You muttered under your breath, as you returned your efforts to applying some soothing balm to Kylo’s wound, and preparing the equipment you’d need to give him stitches.

“It’s alright.” Kylo peered down at his leg to try and see what you were doing. “I’m used to your tongue-tied manner of speaking by now.” You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

You let out a giggle at his attempt at a mild joke, and the rest of your visit was spent in friendly silence, dispersed with the occasional small talk.

 “Y/N!” You jerked upright in your seat, blinking rapidly as you came to your senses, the memory of one of your favourite interactions with Kylo fading from your mind. Yasmyn was staring at you in slight concern. “Are you alright? I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute now.”

“Oh yes, sorry!” You sighed, running a hand through your hair distractedly. “I’m fine thanks, just a bit tired I guess.” You adjusted yourself on Yasmyn’s bed; the two of you were having your weekly girl’s night – or as girly as it could get aboard the ship.

“Something on your mind?” Yasmyn asked sympathetically as she finished braiding her long, dark hair. “Or someone?” She grinned at you, wiggling her eyebrows. “Maybe someone tall, dark and mysterious?”

“I wasn’t thinking about Kylo.” You chided firmly, trying not to let your blush be too visible. At least once every girl’s night the topic of Kylo Ren would be brought up, as Yasmyn was always eager to hear about what the you and Kylo had shared with each other, because ‘even though he’s practically the leader of our fleet, nobody knows anything about him, and the gossip on this ship is so dry, your relationship with Kylo is the only thing I have going right now’.

“I never said you were thinking about Kylo.” Yasmyn grinned triumphantly. “I only said you might be thinking about someone tall, dark and mysterious. I never said it was Kylo, Y/N. I never said-” She was cut off as you threw a pillow at her face in retaliation.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Another two months had gone by since Kylo’s incident with the ‘scavenger girl’ – although it was never too easy to tell the time in space, and you had gone from being someone relatively quiet and unknown except to those you worked with, to someone whose name was slowly being passed around the entire ship. This wasn’t your fault – you hated having more attention than was necessary – no, the only person you could blame for this sort of attention was none other than Kylo Ren.

Over these two months, he’d managed to amass a mysterious amounts of injuries – when you compared the sheer amount of times you’d been called in to the times he was off the ship or in training, you were finding it harder and harder to believe that Kylo wasn’t getting all these injuries on purpose. But try as you might, you couldn’t really complain about it, as every time that you were called to assist Kylo, the more you got to know him, and the more you opened up to him.

But the closer the two of you grew, the more the rumours started to spread around the ship; and they were very clearly not in your favour. Because the more you were sent to assist Kylo, the more your co-workers noticed, and the nosier they all got; every time you returned from a trip to Kylo’s room you were crowded with questions from those closer to you, and judgemental and resentful glances from everyone else.

By now, whether because of these rumours or not, you’d got a reputation for yourself, and had even been personally called by other high-ranking officers to personally assist them – if you were good enough for Kylo Ren, then you were good enough for them. And that was actually how you got yourself into the situation that you were currently in. You were currently attending a very important meeting regarding a mission that would put quite a lot of Stormtroopers at risk, so you had also brought various medical records and lists of all the medical equipment on-board the ship. You had also had to evaluate the percentages of how many soldiers would either die or be seriously injured, so the rest of the medical team could prepare the right amount of equipment.

When the meeting was originally arranged, it was supposed to be attended by the Chief Medical Officer, however he was needed elsewhere; he had an emergency surgery that he needed to attend, and he trusted you out of all the other medics to cover for him. Possibly because he knew Kylo…favoured you over everyone else.

“So,” General Hux spoke up, finally starting the meeting. “The attack on the rebel base will begin with at least a quarter of the soldiers on-board, as we currently only have a rough estimate of just how many rebel soldiers are hiding out in that base.” You nodded, typing out quick notes on your personal padd for later.

“We’ll most likely be sending about one third or our forces down to begin with – enough to scare the rebel forces and if needed we can send in reinforcements.” Hux moved tiny digital figures about on a screen, illustrating where each group of the forces would be positioned to attack the base. “The rest of the fleet will be on standby in case a new strategy is required and a temporary retreat is needed. I would hope that our forces aren’t pathetic enough for us to even consider retreating.” He turned abruptly, eyeing you haughtily. “Do we have sufficient medical supplies for the foreseeable casualties?”

You looked up nervously from your padd – you’d been making rough notes about this most recent plan so you could report back to your boss and he could begin to prepare everything.

“Yes, General Hux, I do believe that we have enough supplies.” You pulled yourself together, trying not to ‘um’ and ‘err’ your way through your sentence. “But of course, I will send all the necessary figures to my superior as I do not have full access to all our equipment, and in the case that there are any supplies we may be short on.” You added as an afterthought – if there was anything that needed to be ordered you didn’t want the responsibility to be solely yours. “One third of the forces was it? And the rest on standby…” You re-capped while scribbling down extra notes. “And my superior sends his most sincere apologies that he could not be here instead of me.”

“No matter.” General Hux waved away your apology indifferently. “As long as all information gets relayed I could not care less who is here in his stead.” And with that, he continued with explaining the various stages of the attack.

Then, just as you were retreating slightly back into the mass of officers crowded around the main screen, you heard someone speak under their breath; ‘Well, it won’t be long until she does have authority to all our medical supplies, considering she’s been sleeping her way to the top with Ren. And then who knows how irresponsibly she’d use our supplies.”

You stop where you stand, feeling a flush creep up your face, turning it bright red in embarrassment. You could see those nearest to you glancing in your direction with obvious distain and disapproval, as if they were imagining a future where you were in some ways their superior. You could hear whispers on every side, many of them agreeing with the nameless whisperer, and you finally opened your mouth to defend yourself, when-

“I hope you’re not insinuating that I, the descendant of Darth Vader, would be capable of behaving like a common whore on my ship.” Kylo’s cold, slightly robotic voice echoed loudly across the room, silencing everyone, including General Hux. Nobody dared to speak, and you stood frozen in a mix of fear and embarrassment. “Because that’s certainly what it sounded like, Lieutenant Kendell.” At this, a few people subtly turned their heads in the direction of the offending statement, and you turned to see a relatively weedy looking man visibly shrink away from Kylo.

“I- of course, no sir, I didn’t mean to offend you-” You watched him backtrack, stammering over his response as Kylo simply stood, watching him. “I-I simply wish to see our forces grow and thrive, and was only remarking that this medic would not be our best way of seeing this happen – I mean she may be far too inexperienced for such a role-”

“So you assume she is using me to gain status? Her family name far outranks yours in any case, Lieutenant, so such foolish thoughts are unnecessary.” Kylo interrupted, and the room seemed to grow darker. “You assumed that I would succumb to any such advances?” He took one single step towards the unfortunate Lieutenant. “You forget your place, Lieutenant. It would be wise not to do so again in the future. It would be unfortunate to lose a member of our staff because of such a foolish mistake.” With this threat hanging in the air, he turned, cape flowing dramatically behind him, to face Hux, who continued his speech.

As everyone began to settle down, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander as you replayed the conflict. You weren’t hurt by Kylo’s behaviour, more confused that he would go out of his way to seemingly defend your honour – you assumed he wouldn’t want people to know that the two of you were even relatively acquainted. You mulled over your thoughts, confusion fogging your mind as you absentmindedly followed suite and exited the room amidst the other officers, heading back to the med-wing.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Later that day, after you’d relayed all information back to your boss, and sent him the notes you’d made, you finally made the journey back to your room. Luckily, it was your day off tomorrow, so you could afford to have a nice, relaxing shower that would hopefully clear your mind of the stresses of the day.

Eventually, when you’d got out of the shower and put on less formal clothes, (not quite pyjamas – these were your own clothes so your evening consisted of leggings and an oversized shirt) you just so happened to check your padd for any messages from Yas, when you saw a message in your inbox that was unread. Upon checking it, your blood ran cold – it had been sent 8 minutes ago, and it was from Kylo himself. Not another officer messaging on his behalf, but from Kylo himself.

You sat bolt upright from where you had been reclining in bed, and double checked the message. It was from Kylo alright, and it had been sent-

“Eight minutes ago?!” You shrieked, hurriedly scrambling to your feet, shoving your feet in your usual uniformed shoes, pulling on a long cardigan and rushing out of your room. It took you longer than eight minutes to get to Kylo’s chambers, but it was a decent enough amount of delay from the time the message was sent to when you actually saw it, that Kylo would be sure to notice that you were eight minutes later than you should have been. He didn’t even set a time; he had simply requested your presence in his chamber, but the underlying message was that your presence was to be requested immediately.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

About fifteen minutes later, you skidded to a halt outside Kylo’s chambers, having run most of the way there. You frantically tried to catch your breath as you smoothed your hair, trying to appear as though you hadn’t spent the last fifteen minutes worrying that your lungs were going to explode. You introduced yourself to the guards outside Kylo’s room, and no sooner than you spoke the door slid open, one of the guards gesturing for you to go through.

“You’re late.” Kylo stated after the door had closed behind you. He was standing at his window, back to you, helmet off.

“My apologies, Sir.” You began, taking a few cautious steps forwards. “I was…well, occupied at the time that you sent the message. Believe me, I would have come sooner if I had seen your request sooner-”

“Occupied?” Kylo turned to face you, his expression impassive as ever; his interrupting statement, rather than question lingering in the air. “I was under the impression that once your shift was over you no longer need to be occupied.”

“Um...” You flushed slightly, subconsciously running a hand through your damp hair. “Occupied…in my shower?” You avoided his burning stare. There was silence for a moment, as if Kylo was trying to determine whether or not he believed you without delving too deep into your mind.

“You are excused of your tardiness this time.” He eventually spoke, and you relaxed slightly.

“If I may, Sir, why did you want me here?” You ventured, rocking back and forth on your heels as you glanced around the (now) familiar room. “If it’s to do with the comments made in the meeting earlier, I apologise if I’ve done anything to-to damage your reputation-”

“If anyone was going to ruin my reputation, it would not be you.” He cut in coolly. “You are not exactly in a position to do so.” He gestured to a chair set out in front of his desk. “Sit. We have much to discuss.” You did as he said, shifting around on the surprisingly soft seat, trying to get comfortable. He too, sat down in a chair he seemingly pulled out of the shadows of his room.

“If you think it is better for not to…run into each other more often, Sir, I understand that.” You started, leaning forwards in your seat. “I feel like rumours about-” you paused, unsure if you could refer to whatever the two of you were as ‘us’, but decided to go with it anyway. “Us, have been following me for almost a week now and it could ruin any chance I have of becoming Chief Medical Officer because everyone thinks I just sleep around and haven’t earned my place because of my family name.” You continued in frustration. “And it doesn’t help that, no offence, you seem to acquire a range of injuries from who knows where, and nobody else seems to want to take up the job because they’re convinced we’re having an affair or something – I’m lucky my boss is sympathetic towards me otherwise I could have lost my job or been demoted by now.” The words seemed to tumble from your lips, unending.

“You think my situation is any better?” Kylo stood, beginning to pace around the room. “I have the power of the Force, I can easily tell what people are thinking, and they do little to conceal their thoughts in my presence.” He spun on his heel, his bulking form towering over you. “I will not be taken for a fool by those pathetic enough to believe such rumours. I will not let them defile my name and my presence, or yours-” he cut himself off as his voice grew louder in anger. You stood as well, anxiously wringing your hands.

“I appreciate that, Sir.” You said quietly. “I know what’s on the line for you, and I’m sorry that it got this far. Maybe it would be better for a different medic to attend to your many injuries.” You felt more dejected than you probably should – after all this was a professional relationship.

“That won’t be necessary. While I am sure your co-workers are capable at doing their job, I know that you are most familiar with what antidotes work with my body and what do not.” Kylo dismissed your suggestion.

“Well what do you suggest?” You asked, a hint of exasperation in your tone. “While I do enjoy your company, Sir, I don’t want our meetings to affect your image.” There was a pause as Kylo took in your words.

“No. I will not be bullied by my insubordinates.” You heard him say, almost to himself. “We shouldn’t even be having this conversation; I don’t need to please the rest of the fleet – I just need them to win me this fight against the rebellion.” He strode to stand in front of you, and you gazed up at him. “I should not have to change my behaviour for them, and neither should you.” You opened your mouth in protest.

“But Sir, I-”

“You are under my protection. If there is anyone giving you trouble, you will report it straight to me.” He stood tall, not like that was hard for him to do, and you swallowed heavily, in awe of the sheer power he radiated. “That is an order. Do you understand?” His voice grew quieter at the end of his sentence; but he was no less grand.

“Yes, Sir.” You replied, suddenly finding it difficult to speak clearly, a smile visible on your face for the first time that day. “Thank you, Sir.”

“I think we’re past the use of such formalities, considering that today you’ve been accused of sleeping your way to power and I have been accused of doing such with someone of a lower station.” He said smoothly, his face as clear of emotion as ever.

“How else should I address you?” You asked, slightly flustered. (And slightly stung by the ‘lower station’ jab but it was the truth.) This must be one of the most bizarre days of my life, you thought to yourself, mind racing.

“You strike me as an intelligent woman, Officer Y/N; surely you do not need me to spell it out for you. Obviously the usual title when others are present.” He said, now walking you towards his door, hands behind his back, his form looming over yours. “Just because I allowed you to address me as such in private, I must remind you I will not be as lenient when we are in public.” He said placidly.

You nodded in acknowledgement. Kylo it is then – that was the only less formal title that you could think of. “Of course. I wouldn't dream of doing any such thing, Kylo.” You saw the left corner of his mouth twitch ever so slightly at your words as he opened the door, allowing you to step through. “I do hope you don't over-exert yourself in training, or do anything to worsen your injuries.” You called as you started to walk back down the corridor. “It would be a shame to meet again so prematurely.” For one of the most feared men in the galaxy, he isn’t nearly as subtle as he thinks, your smile widening as you walk back in the direction of your room, and you could have sworn you heard a chuckle echo down the corridor behind you.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Taglist: @ah-callie​

(also tagging @joscelyn02​ - just in case you wanted to know when the next part was out :) )

[spicykoreantatertots]

Peach (Lobotomy) - Part One

Pairing: Hoseok x Female Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Rating: G

Genres: SFW, Soulmate AU, College AU, F2L, Angst, Fluff

Summary:  In a world where there is no limit to the number of possible soulmate connections, you've become obsessed with figuring out what yours will be. While walking to class one day, you find a ring on the ground. A ring that will finally lead you to your soulmate.

Warnings: this is only part one! this is slightly angsty, but there is fluff. 

A/N: Proud to be part of the Luv Library Collab! This is the first part of my first soulmate fic. Part two will be coming before the end of the month. I may also do a NSFW one shot later this year. I’m excited to continue working on my soulmate series (one for each member). They are all based on songs by Waterparks, check out Peach (Lobotomy). Big shout out to @megahwn and @joonkookiemonster​ for beta reading, @namluve​ for this beautiful banner, and to @ho-baebae​ and @lovely-literati​ for always being supportive. Love y’all! 💜

~~~~~~~

You've seen it happen a million times before. When someone meets their soulmate for the first time, it’s like watching magic happen. It's just a moment, a spark, and then that person's entire life changes.

There are countless types of soulmate connections out there. From color blindness and red threads to timers and birthmarks. Some people can write to their soulmate and the words will appear on their skin, no matter how far away they are. Some people can hear the thoughts of their soulmate or taste what they're tasting. It's exciting, waiting to meet that person who is everything you need. The person made just for you.

But it's terrifying for those who don't have an obvious connection to their soulmate. It's terrifying for people like you. You weren't born with a special mark, you weren't born with colorblindness or someone else's thoughts in your head. There's no obvious way for you to connect with and find your soulmate, and it often keeps you up at night worrying.

Being the optimistic person and hopeless romantic that you are, you've done your best to stay positive. You know that there is someone out there, there's someone for everyone. So you've spent the first 21 years of your life keeping your eyes wide open. Waiting for the sign, the connection.

When you were in high school, you were sure that your connection must be eye contact. You walked around constantly looking people in the eyes, probably looking like a psychopath

The summer before college, you spent the summer abroad in Spain. Part of you hoped you would meet some rugged Spaniard, but the other part of you knew that your Spanish was mediocre at best. 

Freshman year of college you had a persistent craving for pickles and you were sure that had something to do with finding your soulmate. But then you met Hoseok and he helped you figure out that you were just dehydrated and you needed electrolytes.

You actually met Hoseok in line at the dining hall. Your request for an entire bowl of pickles on the side disgusted him. He followed you to a table, confronting you about your strange eating habits.

“An entire bowl of pickles? That’s disgusting.” Hoseok joked. 

“Well I’ve been craving them non-stop. Hopefully this is my soulmate connection.” You replied as you sat at the last open table, trying to avoid touching the various sticky spots on the table. 

“You hope? As you don’t know what your soulmate connection is?” Hoseok questioned, mouth full of french fries. 

“No, not for sure. I don’t have a mark or anything.” And as if he could sense your dejectedness, he cheerily followed up by telling you that he doesn’t have an obvious connection either. Of course your mind immediately goes to the possibility that he is, in fact, your soulmate.

It doesn’t help that he is gorgeous. Dark hair, chiseled jaw, bright smile hidden behind soft lips. Lips that you really really want to kiss. 

Unfortunately Hoseok isn’t your soulmate. The two of you spent almost everyday together for the semester and no connection ever presented itself. Eventually the urge to kiss him dissipated (for the most part) and you gained a really great friend. Every time you feel miserably alone, he’s there to comfort you. He's been there for every missed connection, every failed attempt to find your soulmate.

There are still days that you wake up with The Feeling. The feeling that tells you it’s finally the day you’ll find your soulmate. And today just so happens to be one of those days. When you woke up, you didn't feel tired. You were able to get up and out of bed and ready for class in time to stop to get coffee for you and Hoseok. 

The Feeling leaves you on edge. You keep your phone in your pocket instead of scrolling through your daily rotation of socials. Making sure to keep a small smile on your lips, you try to make eye contact with as many people as you can.

Surely people think you are a crazy person, but you won't miss an opportunity to meet your soulmate for the first time. Unfortunately, none of the customers in the coffee shop or the Baristas are your soulmates. But that's okay! There is still plenty of time left in the day.

"Today's the day Hobi! I can feel it." Hoseok is leaning up against his car in the parking lot waiting for you as usual. The two of you have the same math class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. 

"Yeah I'm pretty sure you said that about last Wednesday too." Hoseok playfully nudges you as he accepts the coffee you've brought for him.

"Okay yes, but I feel REALLY good about today. Maybe I've just been missing him by a few minutes." 

"I wish you weren't so obsessed with this, Y/N." Hoseok pauses, adjusting the strap of his backpack. "You always end up disappointed and I hate seeing you upset."

"Wow thanks for believing in me." You turn away from him and continue down the sidewalk path, rapidly approaching the Mathematics Building.

"It's not that I don't believe in YOU, I just hate watching you obsess over this, can't you just enjoy life and let your soulmate come to you?"

"LET MY SOULMATE COME TO ME? Hoseok didn't you hear about the girl who WAITED for her soulmate to find her and ended up finding him in a COMA? I CAN'T RISK IT!"

"Y/N you can't assume the worst just becau..." And you don't hear the end of whatever Hoseok was going to say. Because in that moment you see something shiny on the ground a few feet in front of you.

You jog ahead of Hoseok, and you see a gold ring abandoned on the sidewalk. You bend to pick it up. Hoseok has now caught up with you. He's trying to get your attention, but all you can focus on in this moment is the ring. You have the same giddy feeling you always do. Butterflies flitting around in your stomach. It’s your soulmate's ring, you're sure of it. 

"What is it Y/N?" Hoseok leans over your shoulder to see the ring you're turning over in your fingers. It's a fairly simple gold ring. There is a simple design carved around it and an inscription inside it. Two initials. You can feel your heart swell, your pulse begins to race.

"It's my soulmate's ring Hobi. I knew today was going to be a good day." You can read the skepticism in his frown and knitted brow. He doesn’t refute you though, maybe he can sense the certainty you’re feeling.

“We’re gonna be late for class.” He huffs, continuing down the path at a pace you struggle to keep up with. 

~~~~~~~

The lecture on Inverse Trigonometric Functions does not hold your attention very long. All you can really do is turn the ring over in your fingers imagining the man that it belongs to. He’s probably got dark hair, tan skin, glasses. He probably looks so sexy in glasses.

“So I guess you’ll be borrowing my notes later then?” Hoseok whispers and motions toward your blank notebook. “Of course, you’ve got something more important to do than take notes, don’t you?” 

“Yeah I’ve got to track down my soulmate.” As soon as you finish the thought, reality begins to sink in. “Hobi?” You whisper back at him, shoulders slumping. “How am I going to find him?”

Hoseok sighs, settles himself back into the seat, and continues taking notes. Absentmindedly, you pick up your pen and begin doodling the initials “JW”. Your pen traces over the letters, darkening them with each stroke. 

“We’ll find him.” Hoseok places his hand over yours, stopping the obsessive movements of your pen. When he pulls his hand back you look up at him. He’s looking forward, jaw clenched. And you know that just like every other time, with every other potential soulmate, he’s determined to help you. 

~~~~~~~

Hoseok asked you to sleep on it, give yourself some time to process before beginning the process of finding the owner of the ring. 

It was a nice idea, sleeping on it. But in practice it proved to be very difficult. After tossing and turning for half an hour you began mentally designing a Found: Gold Ring flyer in your head and planned where to put them up around campus.

Now your mind has wandered elsewhere. You find yourself browsing social media, looking at the University’s page. Scrolling through the followers and stopping at every J and W you find. 

You: I'm never going to find him. [4:12am]

You: Do you know how many JWs there are in this city? [4:12am]

You: And what if he's not even on social media? [4:16am]

Hoseok: Everyone is on social media. [4:18am]

You: Oh no did I wake you? [4:18am]

Hoseok: Yes. Please tell me you have not been awake all night. [4:18am]

You: I have not been awake all night. [4:19am]

You: 😬 [4:19am]

Hoseok: I have an idea. [4:20am]

You: 👀 [4:20am]

Hoseok: I have a friend who works as a student assistant in the registrar's office, maybe he can help us. Let's meet at 8 instead of 8:45 [4:23am]

You: okay 🥺 [4:24am]

~~~~~~~

"What do you mean "no," Namjoon?" Hoseok is standing at the front of Namjoon's desk.

"Hoseok I am not breaking FERPA for any reason." The blonde boy leans back in his chair, crossing his arms. Government policy prevents him from sharing student’s personal information, but this is bigger than the government. It’s fate, the Universe, call it what you want, but it’s more important than FERPA. 

"Namjoon, I need to find my soulmate, I have to track him down!" You're about to start crying, peering around Hoseok. You had only seen Namjoon once before at a party, he was drunkenly debating the finer details of Platonism with a girl who was clearly only interested in taking him upstairs.

“If I were to give you a list of all the names and phone numbers of students that go to this University, I could be fined thousands of dollars!” He uncrosses his arms and hits his hand on the desk to emphasize his point. 

That’s when you notice the timer on his wrist. Counting down to the moment he meets his soulmate. 

“Namjoon, look at the timer on your wrist. You know exactly when you are going to meet your soulmate. But I have nothing.” He looks down at his wrist, the timer silently ticks closer to zero. “I have no timer, no mark, no connection except maybe this stupid ring.”

You tug at the ring you placed on a chain around your neck for safe keeping. It shines under the fluorescent lighting. Namjoon looks at the ring then back at your face. You’re sure it’s blotchy and red, but you hope that he understands how important this is. 

“Can you help us Joon?” Hoseok asks, pulling a small flash drive from his coat pocket. The only response is a deep sigh, but Namjoon grabs the flash drive and quickly downloads the data. 

“If anyone finds out about this, I’m going to say you hacked into my computer.” Namjoon says, stopping short of handing the drive back to Hoseok.

“I owe you one.” Hoseok winks before he grabs the drive out of Namjoon’s hand.

Hoseok heads out into the hallway and you follow closely behind him, turning back to mouth a ‘thank you’ at Namjoon who responds with a curt nod. 

~~~~~~~

After a trip to the library and $25 worth of printing, the two of you are holed up in your apartment.  Take-out, two bottles of wine, and 250 pages of student names and phone numbers are set out on the coffee table, an R&B album playing on the stereo. Hoseok watches as you flip through the large stack of pages on the coffee table.

“Wait why did you print every name?” Hoseok wonders while he picks at the remains of the food in his container.

“You said it would be easier to have a hard copy.” You huff, dropping the pages on the floor in front of you. Hoseok can feel the frustration radiating off of you. 

“Yes, but maybe we should have sorted out the Js and Ws before printing...” He sets down his food and motions for you to hand him the pile. 

Hoseok begins thumbing through the pages, wondering to himself how long it will take to narrow down the pool of potential soulmates. He locates the Ws and sets the rest of the pages aside. 

“Here, let’s just start here and see what we can find.” He says, splitting the smaller stack in two and handing you half. Hoseok begins reading through each name on the page, pausing only to highlight a name or take a drink from his wine glass. 

After about half an hour, Hoseok has highlighted two dozen names on his portion of the list. You're huddled over the pages, flicking the corners of it absent-midnedly. He can tell that you’ve lost steam, possibly from the two very full glasses of wine you’ve had tonight. 

“Are you almost finished?” Hoseok sets his pages down on the floor next to him and leans his head back against the couch behind him. 

“Oh yeah I finished, I just wanted to go back through to be sure.” You lean back from your hunched over position and lay flat against the floor. 

“I’ve got about two dozen names, how many did you get?” Hoseok yawns and rubs his eyes.

“I found thirty.” You manage through a yawn of your own. It’s barely 9:00pm, but the mundane task of finding matching initials mixed with bellies full of take out and wine makes for a couple of very sleepy friends. 

There’s got to be something he can do to reenergize the two of you. He knows you’re excited to find your soulmate. But after being by your side through so many failed attempts in the past few years, he can tell you’re starting to feel discouraged. 

“Get up.” Hoseok says, an idea brewing in his mind. You look up at him, eyes narrowed. “Come on.” Hoseok gets up and moves to put himself toe to toe with you. He reaches into his pocket for his phone and scrolls through his playlist. 

An upbeat song begins playing through the speakers and Hoseok extends his hands out to you. He can tell you’re fighting a grin and that makes his own smile double in size. You finally give in and grab hold of his hands. Hoseok quickly pulls you up off the ground and twirls you around before letting go. 

“I’m not doing this Hobi.” You stand still, covering your face with your hands while the beat of the song fills up your small apartment. Hoseok’s body is moving to the music. He’s always been a dancer, effortlessly contorting his body, hitting each beat perfectly in time. 

Hoseok knows you aren’t a good dancer, but he loves seeing you try. Loves watching you be silly. So he reaches for your hand once again and pulls you toward him. He uses his hands to guide you, gently shaking you to loosen up your joints. Your awkward movements make him laugh, but he’s happy to see you smiling again. Swaying along to the music with you, Hoseok feels good. The stress of the day melting away. 

He twirls you away from his body as the song is ending, but instead of letting go he tugs on your arm, silently asking you to twirl back into his arms. You’re giggling when you fall back into his arms. His face is only inches away from yours and for the first time in a long time he finds himself wanting to close the distance. 

When the two of you first met, he felt a pull to you. At first he had hoped that you were his soulmate. You were beautiful, funny, silly, and just what he had been looking for. There was no magic moment between you though. No signal that your connection to him was meant to be something more than friendship. 

Before he can think too much about how your lips still look so soft, you pull away from him. Hoseok pauses to catch his breath, shaking his head to clear out the thoughts. 

“Okay I do feel better.” You announce, moving to the kitchen to pop the second bottle of wine. Hoseok sits down on the couch, picking up his laptop. He logs onto Facebook, trying to occupy his mind by searching for the first guy on with the initials J W. “Alright, this is it.”

“What is it exactly?” Hoseok replies, distracted by a video of goats screaming to the tune of Taylor Swift’s latest single. 

“We’re about to find my soulmate Hobi!” Your beaming smile is almost enough to quell the unsettled feeling growing in his gut. 

“Right, right. Here goes nothing.” Hoseok types the name of the first guy on his list and begins scrolling through his available pictures. He is scrutinizing the stranger, his clothes, the way he poses for the pictures. Soulmate or not, is this guy really good enough for you?

“What should the game plan be?” You say, almost startling Hoseok. “Should we just do a quick round looking for the ring in the pictures?” 

“Yes let’s do that, and then we can go back through if we don’t find the ring on anyone.” Hoseok nods moving to the next name on his list, silently hoping that he isn’t the one either. 

~~~~~~~

It was very easy for you to get distracted looking at these potential soulmates. Of course, based on their social media profiles it was also pretty easy to rule some people out. Several of the men had their soulmate’s in the profile pictures. Some had visible soulmate marks or timers in their photos. But there were still a large number of men who could be the one. And you took your time sizing each one up. 

Jason Williams is clearly athletic, plays for the university soccer team, and recently ran a marathon. It’s good for him, but you hope he won’t mind you sitting on the sidelines of the next marathon rather than participating. 

Jaylen Williams has no photos available for viewing, but it only takes three seconds on his profile to realize that his views on feminism leave much to be desired. 

Jesse Williams is a nerd, to put it lightly. His profile picture is a loveable picture of him dressed as Spiderman at last year’s comic con. Many of his posts are related to the Marvel Universe and you can tell that he takes it very seriously. According to his profile, he is studying physics. 

Joshua Wilson seems nice. He’s playing guitar in his profile picture. His beanie and flannel shirt make you wonder if he considers himself a hipster. His latest post is about the inadequate coffee served at the local cafe and how he should just do it at home. Maybe he makes a good cup of coffee, you could get into that. 

James Wilt is handsome. He’s hair smoothed perfectly back, facial hair trimmed neatly. Just as you’re about to scroll down to look at his posts, Hoseok interrupts you.

“Y/N?” He says quietly. “I think I’ve got him.” Your heart jumps into your throat. Setting the laptop down on the coffee table, you scoot over to look at Hoseok’s screen.

Jackson Wang. He’s gorgeous. And he’s clearly wearing the ring. 

“Hobi...” You don’t really know what to say, but he seems to understand. He puts his arm around you and slides his laptop from his lap to yours. You begin scrolling through and seeing pictures of him surrounded by friends, they look like fraternity brothers. It’s not quite what you were expecting out of a soulmate, but as you continue looking through his profile you learn that you are actually quite compatible. 

He has a similar taste in music, loves his family, he’s on the university fencing team, and he might love cheese even more than you do. 

“I... I don’t want to be the one to say it, but all we know for sure is that it’s his ring.” Hoseok says sheepishly. You want to roll your eyes, but he’s right. Just because you had a feeling about it doesn't guarantee that Jackson is your soulmate.

“There’s only one way to find out.” You say handing Hoseok’s laptop back to him. 

“Right.” Hoseok nods before tilting his head. “Wait what?” 

“I’ll send him a friend request and I’m going to message him. I’ll have to meet him in person.” You say as you begin typing out a message on your computer. 

“You are NOT going to meet him in person Y/N. He’s a total stranger!”

“Hoseok he could be my soulmate!” You pleaded. There’s a long silence stretching between you. Hoseok is thinking, scanning your face. He’s spent the day helping you track him down and now suddenly he’s so concerned about you meeting him?

“I’ll go with you.” He mutters followed by a sigh of defeat. He sinks back into the couch as you finish typing out your message to Jackson and attach an image of the ring.

You: Hey, are you missing your ring? I found one that looks like it outside the Mathematics building. [9:13pm]

“And now we wait.” You sigh as you hit the send button. The tension between you and Hoseok is still palpable, but you reach for the remote to turn on the television. Luckily for you, Hoseok’s favorite movie is playing on one of the channels and it doesn’t take long for the tension to relax into a comfortable silence.

~~~~~~~

Hoseok wakes to a ping on your phone. The two of you had fallen asleep on the couch during the movie. The TV screen is now dark, credits slowly rolling through. Your phone is shining brightly from it’s spot on the coffee table. 

Against his better judgement, Hoseok reaches for your phone.

Facebook: Jackson Wang has accepted your friend request. [11:46pm]

Facebook Messenger: Yeah wow! I’ve been missing it! [11:48pm]

Hoseok sets your phone back down and looks over at you. You’re fast asleep, head resting on the arm of the couch. It’s getting late.

“Y/N.” He whispers, nudging your foot with his own. You don’t stir, so he decides to get up and carry you to your bed. He carefully pulls back the throw blanket that covers you and hooks his arms under your body. The walk to your bed is short, but he trips over a pair of your shoes, almost dropping you. How are you still asleep?

When he reaches your bed, he sets you down gently and pulls your quilt over your shoulders. He gazes down at you. Once again feeling the pull to your lips. He leans down, brushes a few stray hairs off of your forehead and lightly brushes his lips against the skin of your forehead.

A warm sensation, tingling in his lips, a shiver down his spine. Hoseok pulls away, wide eyes staring down at you. But you don’t wake up. Though he would swear that he saw a smile pulling at your lips as he slowly backed out of the room.

~~~~~~~

As you slept you dreamed about meeting your soulmate. The warm feeling radiated throughout your body, all was right in the world. And when you wake you are happy to see a response from Jackson.

Jackson: Yeah wow! I’ve been missing it! [11:48pm]

You: Okay, wanna grab coffee and I can give it to you then? [9:23am]

Jackson: Haha, sounds great. Maybe tomorrow around 10? [9:56am]

You: That’s perfect, you know The Bean just north of campus? [9:59am]

Jackson: Yes I love that place. [10:01am]

You: Okay great! [10:01am]

You: Kind of a random question... [10:17am]

Jackson: Shoot [10:23am]

You: Do you know what your soulmate connection is? [10:24am]

You: I’m only asking because I don’t know mine. [10:27am]

You: And I thought maybe... [10:27am]

Jackson: Do you think you finding my ring could be... our connection? [10:30am]

You: I had a really good feeling about it when I found it. [10:31am]

Jackson: I don’t know mine, so maybe this is it... [10:34am]

You: I guess we’ll find out tomorrow, right? [10:35am]

Jackson: It’s a date. [10:39am]

~~~~~~~

The Bean is bustling today. Lots of people in and out, dozens of students working on projects and papers, so Hoseok has to sit a few tables away from you. The smell of the freshly ground beans 

“I won’t be able to hear you that well.” He shouts across the cafe. 

You’re too nervous to respond with something other than a shrug of your shoulders. Fiddling with the hem of your dress, you watch the door carefully waiting for him to walk in. The latte in front of you is still steaming, too hot to drink. 

The bell above the door chimes, ringing out over the chatter that fills the coffee shop. And there he is. Jackson Wang. Walking toward you with a self-assured smile. 

“Hi.” You mumbled, standing from your seat to greet him. He’s glowing in front of you, he’s all you can see. Jackson opens his arms you fit perfectly in them. You can feel butterflies in your stomach. It’s not as strong as you expected the soulmate bond to be, but it’s there. 

“I guess this is yours.” You tug lightly on the ring you’ve been wearing around your neck. 

“Well maybe you should wear it for a little longer.” Jackson replies, motioning for you to have a seat. “If we’re soulmates, that is?”

“Did you feel it too?” You ask shyly, tucking your hair back behind your ear. Jackson nods and reaches out to grab your hand across the table. The Feeling is here, just like it was when you picked up the ring, and you never want it to go away.

~~~~~~~

Hoseok watches the two of you chat for over an hour. He sees the exaggerated reactions you give to whatever story Jackson’s telling you. Just by the way your face is lighting up, he can tell you’re already falling hard.

Thinking back to the night before, Hoseok questions what happened. Was it just the wine going to his head? The two of you had been friends for so long now that he assumed it couldn’t be possible that the two of you were soulmates. Surely any hidden connection you had would have been realized by now. Maybe he’s just feeling jealous that you’re finally meeting your soulmate and he’s still alone.

But that kiss was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

Deep in his thoughts, Hoseok doesn’t notice when you and Jackson stand from the table and walk over to his.

“Hobi, this is Jackson.” Hoseok jerks his head upward, met with a confident smile from Jackson. Hoseok quickly stands and extends his hand. 

“I’m Hoseok, nice to meet you.” Jackson firmly shakes his hand. The two hold eye contact for just a little too long.

“She’s already told me so much about you. Thanks for helping her track me down.” Jackson chuckles. Hoseok looks over at you and notices that you are holding his other hand. 

“Thanks for helping me find my soulmate.” You chirp happily. Hoseok narrows his eyes, looking back and forth between you and Jackson. 

“Soulmates? Are you sure?” Hoseok questions you.

“Hoseok!” Your exclamation is accompanied by a slap on the arm. “Of course I’m sure!” You give a quick and embarrassed apology to Jackson.

The way you’re already clinging to Jackson makes Hoseok’s stomach twist. The look in your eye when you stare up at his face makes Hoseok want to shut his eyes. He can tell you’re smitten, but he’s got a bad feeling. Despite your obvious certainty that this is your soulmate, Hoseok can tell that something is just not right.

~~~~~~~

See you soon for Part 2! Comment to be added to the tag list! <3

Check out my Not Warriors Soulmate Series Masterlist!

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars XXII (Harry Potter xFem!Oc)

A/N: My uni is really out there asking me to write formally like I’m so kind of scholar, thank god they can’t see me cry about it– But! luckily dear Mel is having a much lovelier time, this is sort of a ‘break’ from emotional madness that Mel always carries around lmao enjoy!

Words: 1,930

Warnings: None!

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Four: A Lovely Morning.

"So - what's the story, Harry?" said Ron impatiently. "What's been happening?"

Harry told them all about Dobby, the warning he'd given Harry and the fiasco of the violet pudding. There was a long, shocked silence when he had finished.

"Very fishy," said Fred finally.

"Definitely dodgy" agreed George. "So he wouldn't even tell you who's supposed to be plotting all this stuff?"

"I don't think he could," said Harry. "I told you, every time he got close to letting something slip, he started banging his head against the wall... What, you think he was lying to me?"

"Well," said Fred, "put it this way - house-elves have got powerful magic of their own, but they can't usually use it without their master's permission. I reckon old Dobby was sent to stop you coming back to Hogwarts. Someone's idea of a joke. Can you think of anyone at school with a grudge against you?"

"Yes," said Harry and Ron together.

"Now boys," Mel sighed, "you can't possibly be thinking of that idiot, who has the time for something as stupid as that?

"Draco Malfoy has it," Harry turned to the twins, "He hates me."

"Draco Malfoy?" said George, turning around. "Not Lucius Malfoy's son?"

"Must be, it's not a very common name, is it?" said Harry.

"I've heard Dad talking about him," said George. "He was a big supporter of You-Know-Who."

"And when You-Know-Who disappeared," said Fred, "Lucius Malfoy came back saying he'd never meant any of it. Load of dung - Dad reckons he was right in You- Know-Who's inner circle."

"I don't know whether the Malfoys own a house-elf," said Harry.

"Well, whoever owns him will be an old wizarding family, and they'll be rich," said Fred.

"Yeah, Mum's always wishing we had a house-elf to do the ironing," said George. "But all we've got is a lousy old ghoul in the attic and gnomes all over the garden. House-elves come with big old manors and castles and places like that; you wouldn't catch one in our house..."

Did Erick have one? Now that she thought about it, Mel didn't know a lot about his life outside school, of course, she knew he didn't like to travel and that he was a pureblood, but nothing else.

"I'm glad we came to get you, anyway," said Ron. "I was getting really worried-"

"Oh, were you?" The girl huffed.

"-When you didn't answer any of our letters. I thought it was Errol's fault at first-"

"Who's Errol?"

"Our owl. He's ancient. It wouldn't be the first time he'd collapsed on a delivery. So then I tried to borrow Hermes -"

"Who?"

"The owl Mum and Dad bought Percy when he was made prefect," said Fred.

"But Percy wouldn't lend him to me," said Ron. "Said he needed him."

"Percy's been acting very oddly this summer," said George, frowning. "And he has been sending a lot of letters and spending a load of time shut up in his room... I mean, there's only so many times you can polish a prefect badge... You're driving too far west, Fred"

"So, does your dad know you've got the car?" said Harry, guessing the answer.

"Er, no," said Ron, "he had to work tonight. Hopefully we'll be able to get it back in the garage without Mum noticing we flew it."

"We didn't have a choice though, little lady here kept nagging until we agreed to help her get you, she's a pain-"

"Sod off, Fred," Mel scoffed, "I'm not ashamed about it, unlike you, I care"

"The point is, we made a plan and we got this old thing out of the garage without telling our parents"

"What does your dad do at the Ministry of Magic, anyway?"

"He works in the most boring department," said Ron. "The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office."

"The what?"

"It's all to do with bewitching things that are Muggle-made, you know, in case they end up back in a Muggle shop or house. Like, last year, some old witch died and her tea set was sold to an antiques shop. This Muggle woman bought it, took it home, and tried to serve her friend's tea in it. It was a nightmare - Dad was working overtime for weeks."

"What happened?"

"The teapot went berserk and squirted boiling tea all over the place and one man ended up in the hospital with the sugar tongs clamped to his nose. Dad was going frantic - it's only him and an old warlock called Perkins in the office -and they had to do Memory Charms and all sorts of stuff to cover it up -"

"But your dad - this car -"

"Yeah, Dad's crazy about everything to do with Muggles; our shed's full of Muggle stuff. He takes it apart, puts spells on it, and puts it back together again. If he raided our house he'd have to put himself under arrest. It drives Mum mad."

"I think he's lovely," Mel smiled, "he's kind and interesting, the first days we spent there he asked me and my mum all kinds of questions about our muggle life, I like him a lot..."

"That's the main road," said George, peering down through the windshield. "We'll be there in ten minutes... Just as well, it's getting light..."

Few minutes passed until they were finally reaching the house, the sky was starting to clear, and Mel was feeling rather sleepy. She was pleased to discover that flying cars didn't make her sick, but she wasn't comfortable sleeping on the backseat, so she couldn't wait to get to her bed.

"Touchdown!" said Fred.

"It's not much," said Ron once they were out of the car, he was talking about his house.

"It's wonderful," said Harry happily.

He was always so sweet.

"Now, we'll go upstairs really quietly," said Fred, "and wait for Mum to call us for breakfast Then, Ron, you come bounding downstairs going, 'Mum, look who turned up in the night!' and she'll be all pleased to see Harry -along with Emily- and no one need ever know we flew the car."

"Right," said Ron. "Come on, Harry, I sleep at the - at the top-"

Mel crashed into him, she hadn't noticed his movements coming into a halt, too distracted by her own weariness.

"What's-?" She looked up, feeling her heart fall to her stomach.

"Ah, "said Fred.

"Oh, dear," said George.

Mrs. Weasley came to a halt in front of them.

"So, " She said.

"Morning, Mum," said George.

"Have you any idea how worried I've been?" said Mrs. Weasley in a whisper.

"Sorry, Mum, but see, we had to -"

"Beds empty! No note! Car gone- could have crashed- out of my mind with worry- did you care? - never, as long as I've lived -you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy -"

"Perfect Percy," muttered Fred.

"YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY'S BOOK!" yelled Mrs. Weasley, "You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job -"

"This looks like entirely not my business," Mel muttered, trying to escape from the woman's screams.

But it wasn't long until she crashed against another body, this time her mother's.

"Oh, bloody hell," Mel mumbled.

"Mel Dumbledore," Her mother said in a thin, angry whisper, "you better have a good explanation"

"Bars," Was all she said.

"Bars," Emily's frown grew, "oh lady, you are in so much trouble"

Emily took her to Charlie's room and scowled her endlessly. Mel was ashamed, she had never lied to her mum like that.

She had hidden information, yes, but never lied to her. She was guilty, but every time she thought about Harry finally safe, she couldn't help but feel all giddy inside.

Ginny appeared a second after Emily had left the room to go and fetch her a plate with scrambled eggs before starting the day (she wasn't going to let her sleep at all) and sat eagerly at the edge of the bed.

"Harry's here," She commented.

"I know, Ginny," Mel yawned, "I was there..."

"I ran as soon as I saw him!" The little girl hid her face in embarrassment, "he saw me in my nightdress!"

"Don't worry about it, Harry's silly, I'm sure he didn't even notice"

"My brothers won't stop teasing me about it"

"If your brothers tease you I'll make sure to give them hell, all right?" Mel offered.

Before Ginny could reply, Emily walked in. The little girl stood up and quickly left the room, afraid of the woman's reaction.

However, Mel's mum seemed much more relaxed now.

"Harry looks skinnier than before if that's even possible..."

"They put bars on his window and locked him up," Mel said gloomily, "they also put a cat's door so they could pass him food while he was in there. A bloody cat's door, mum"

"A what!?" Emily walked around the room in pure outrage, "I swear- If I could, I swear I would take Harry away from those monsters- starving him to death!"

"I couldn't leave him there mum, I'm so sorry"

"I know you did it thinking it was the best thing," Emily passed a hand through her hair, "but you could've been caught, you could've had an accident! What would your poor mum do without you?"

"I'm sorry," Mel looked away, "I know I let you down, I hate lying..."

"It was a good cause," Emily hugged her daughter, "I spoil you too much, but you're a sweet girl, you could never let me down"

Moments after hearing Mr. Weasley's arrival and his argument with Mrs. Weasley, Mel peeked through the door and came face to face with Harry and Ron, climbing up the stairs in silence.

"Oh," She opened the door completely and got out of the room, "is everything alright downstairs?"

"It'll be," Ron shrugged, "want to join us? I'm about to show Harry my room"

"Sure," She followed them.

When they got to the third floor she heard a door slamming closed and jumped on her place.

"What was that?"

"Ginny," said Ron, then he turned to Harry, "You don't know how weird it is for her to be this shy. She never shuts up normally, when Mel arrived we could barely spend time together 'cause Ginny was always around"

"She's so nice," Mel beamed, "I'm so happy she'll go to Hogwarts this year, that way I won't miss her as much"

"The day you tell us you can't stand someone, that day I'll be surprised," Ron shook his head.

"Don't tease her," said Harry, "she's just being a good friend"

Mel smiled at him and kept going, completely missing Ron's confused expression at Harry's reply.

Once in the room, she let herself fall on her friend's bed and closed her eyes, sighing happily.

"I could take a nap, just five minutes..."

She opened her eyes slightly to watch Harry as he walked through the room and observed everything around him, she felt Ron sitting next to her, waiting nervously for Harry's verdict.

"It's a bit small," said Ron quickly. "Not like that room you had with the Muggles. And I'm right underneath the ghoul in the attic; he's always banging on the pipes and groaning..."

"This is the best house I've ever been in," Harry smiled widely, "I mean, after Mel's house, of course."

She only smiled in return, her eyes finally giving up and closing, falling fast asleep.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@tiphareth2018 @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @celestialhayi @omiwashere  @mikariell95

[megalony]

I do love you- Part 10

This is the last chapter to my latest Roger Taylor series. Thank you to everyone for the lovely feedback I have had so much fun with this story.

Taglist: @marshmallowmae  @langdonzvoid  @mcrmarvelloki  @butlegendsneverdie  @jennyggggrrr  @reedusteinrambles  @luvborhap

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How we doing in here?" Roger questioned, his energy bouncing around the walls of the apartment as his adrenaline was radiating off of him in waves. He seemed to come back to Earth for a moment when he took in (Y/n)'s state.

She was sitting on the floor next to the empty crib, her head leaning against the wooden panels as she seemed to be in a different universe to Roger. His words stirred her attention, her eyes drifting as her head turned so their gazes could meet. (Y/n) watched as Roger walked into the room, his energy ever so slightly dulling down as he knelt in front of her, his head turning to the side as his eyes silently asked his question again.

"What's going on up there?" His lips curved into a smile as he feathered his index finger around her temple before moving to brush the few strands of hair behind her ear. Her hand came up to hold his own, her eyes drifting to look at the cot before scanning the room they were sitting in. She remembered when they started to decorate this room. It was in those moments that (Y/n) had started to wish that she and Roger were something more, more than best friends who had a one night stand. She wanted them to be a family because knowing she was only Roger's best friend he had gotten pregnant hurt more than she ever thought it would.

(Y/n) had cherished the little moments together when they were decorating the room or just together because even if they were just best friends in those moments, it was something.

Now that she had more than that it felt too good to be true. It made all of those nights spent in wonder and agony of the future worth it because (Y/n) knew she didn't have to worry about being alone. She didn't have to worry about being alone and raising a child or about how much it hurt when Roger eventually had to go home to his family. Going home to his family meant he would be coming back to the apartment, back to her.

"I didn't think things would turn out like this." The light humour to her words and the small smile on her lips showed Roger she didn't mean that in a bad way. The words intrigued him as he smiled, leaning forward as he urged her to continue. "I... I didn't think we'd bring him home." Stones seemed to set in Roger's lungs causing him to stop breathing for a few seconds. His eyes widening as tears began to flood them as he managed to see (Y/n) through his clouding vision. Her hand that wasn't entwined with his own was trailing over the crib as a few tears escaped her eyes.

One of the good things about being cooped up in the hospital meant that (Y/n) didn't have to come home and see the unfinished room that was a reminder of James. It meant she wasn't having to look at the room in fear that it was going to remain unused, to be there for a reminder that she had lost someone so dear too soon.

Both of them had been under the impression at one point or another that James was not going to be leaving the hospital alive. Seeing the room sent (Y/n) into a spiral today knowing that James was going to be coming home for the first time this afternoon. It made her realise just how lucky they had been and still were. They were lucky enough not to lose James or for her health to get any worse, they were extremely lucky that James hadn't suffered any worse than just having under-developed lungs.

"He's coming home with his family, we haven't lost him." Roger whispered, his hands gently cupping the sides of her face before he pressed his lips to her own. Some of the energy Roger had suddenly built up earlier was creeping back into his system slowly but surely. As soon as they had been told that James would be well enough to come home today Roger hadn't stopped jittering. He was pacing the floors so much the floorboards were wearing out, his energy was bouncing off the walls and he couldn't stop chattering or moving. Sitting down wasn't an option, sleeping was even harder since last night was the last night before they got their baby boy home for the first time and for good.

Everything had been up and down for months.

Roger had been confused and worried in the beginning because he knew he couldn't lie to his wife forever. He also knew it wouldn't be fair to (Y/n) if he didn't tell his wife or daughter because it would mean keeping her in the shadows out the way so the press or anyone else didn't find out. When he decided he needed to be with the person he loved he had felt even worse when (Y/n) didn't trust his intentions were coming from his heart. Coming close to losing James shattered Roger to breaking point.

His boy was part of his world and Roger couldn't lose him. To finally learn that they could bring him home and home was where Roger lived with (Y/n) sent Roger's spirits soaring to a point he was past the atmosphere. He wanted to go and pick James up and then come home with him. Hopefully when he was home things could start to feel a new sense of normal. Roger could get back to the studio, they could both adjust to having a new part of their family around and caring for him.

"I won't mess this up, will I?" (Y/n) took hold of Roger's wrists, his hands still resting either side of her face as he gently rested his temple against her own. "What if I can't look after him? W-we haven't even fed him or settled him yet and they want him to come home. He's only left the incubator to be held he won't settle here."

James had been on a feeding tube since he hadn't been breathing on his own until recently and even then they left the tube in just to be sure since he was still ill. The nurse had said she would make sure James was feeding at the hospital before they took him home just to be sure he was alright. But they hadn't fed him yet and James was used to sleeping in the incubator and not being moved very much. He was moved for checks and to be held but that was only for this past week they had held him. He hadn't slept in a cot yet, he hadn't been held for longer than twenty minutes at a time, he hadn't been in a pram or moved about.

James was still small and recovering, (Y/n) didn't want to do anything that made him worse or unsettled him and bringing him home could do that. There were no nurses here to check on him if something went wrong, there was Roger but even he said he only had medical knowledge from uni, he wasn't a professional.

"Sshh, sweetheart. Too many what ifs are running through your head right now. Every baby has to transition from hospital to home, James is no different he's just... more precious. We're gonna feed him today, they won't let him come home until he's ready. All babies have to learn to adjust it's okay to be worried." All babies were in the hospital for a few days before being allowed home, they all had to adjust to suddenly being fussed over every hour and being in a cot, on a play mat being fed. Being handled by different people was something all babies had to get used to.

It was perfectly fine for (Y/n) to be worried, they had come within an inch of losing James, knowing they were getting him back all well and safe was something very big for them. Worries were common.

"He nearly died because of me-"

"Stop it." There was a warning tone to Roger's voice as (Y/n)'s eyes creased at the sides, her gaze not being able to meet his own. Her teeth biting down on her lower lip to stop it from wavering like a leaf in the breeze. "Did you want James to be born when he was? No, I didn't think so. He nearly died because you were both ill. You didn't make yourself ill, I won't have you thinking like that because you're his mother, the very fact you're worried about this shows how much you love him."

Roger's heart shattered into a million pieces whenever (Y/n) thought along the lines that she had caused this. She didn't ask to be ill and she didn't want James to be born as early as he was, that wasn't her fault. James was here because of her and Roger couldn't have (Y/n) thinking she had done anything but love and care for their boy.

"He's coming home today and he will be safe because I'll take care of you both, I promise. Come on, let's go get our boy."

There was no other choice but for (Y/n) to believe in those words that Roger had spoken when they realised that something was wrong the first time. He had promised everything would be okay because he would take care of her and the drummer hadn't broken that promise yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "That's my boy. Well done champ." Roger mumbled quietly, one of the purest smiles on his face that (Y/n) had ever seen on his features in all the years she had known the drummer. Her eyes glistening when he leaned down to press his lips to his son's temple, watching those sparkling green eyes widen for a moment before closing. Nuzzling himself into (Y/n)'s hold making her heart flutter.

Roger clearly knew how to feed a child since he had Rosie, he had given her a bottle countless times to know what he was doing. So when the nurse had offered to show them how to feed James Roger had wanted to watch instead. He obviously wanted to make sure that it wouldn't be any different since James was used to having the food go straight to his stomach without really having to do anything. But the nurse had reassured them it wasn't going to be any different.

The drummer's hand cradled the back of James' head as he watched (Y/n) give him his first ever bottle feed and he couldn't stop the sparkle and the tears from glistening in his eyes at the sight. It looked so natural as if they had fed James so many times before. He wasn't even hesitant, his eyes switching between watching the pair of them closely and closing his eyes to relax.

Both parents were even prouder when they were told that it was very good that he had finished the whole bottle considering his weight and small size. If he continued to feed like that when he was at home they would have no cause for concern and he would undoubtedly put the weight on that he needed to be considered healthy. It was clear that he had started to grow more over the past month since he had been born which is what they wanted and needed since he was rather premature. But since he was now breathing on his own, his vitals weren't concerning and he was grown and capable enough he was okay to go home. More regular checks than normal were going to be needed just to make sure but he could go home, where he belonged.

"He's gonna be fine." Roger whispered, his eyes gleaming as he looked up to (Y/n) in adoration of the pair of them.

"He certainly is. So, he needs to put on a few pounds over the next upcoming weeks which I'm sure there will be no problem with and we'll just have to keep checking that over time his organs are all developing properly. But right now we have no cause for concern. If you have no problems or queries, then I can go and grab the discharge papers for you whilst you wait with him." A smile came onto the nurse's face that they came to know as Claire, her eyes asking if they needed anything else.

Now was the time to ask her anything before she grabbed the papers and then they would be free to take James home for good.

Shaking her head (Y/n) gently set James so he was resting to her shoulder so she could rub his back since he had just been fed. Her eyes glancing to Roger as he smiled, nothing pressing on his mind to ask her about his boy. (Y/n) knew the worries she had weren't specifically for James' health or that he wasn't ready to come home. They were more worries that something would happen once he was home, that he wouldn't settle with them or that she would do something wrong.

All of those worries could be conquered when James was home with them and with Roger there to settle those worries, bringing them up now had no use. (Y/n) felt so much better now that she knew something so pressing as having his first proper feed had gone down a treat. She didn't have to worry that he wouldn't take to the bottle since he had never had to have one before, he was perfectly fine with it. 

"Alright then, I'll get you those papers." Turning on her heels Claire headed for the door. Having brought the family into one of the smaller rooms where they had first held James since it was quieter and more private. Especially since a few other parents were in the ICU with their babies so this was much easier for them all.

A sudden thought came to Roger's mind that was pressing in his head and causing a burning in his pocket. Turning his head to look at (Y/n) he leaned over, his lips pressing to hers as his hand delicately glided over James' head for a brief moment.

"I just remembered something, one moment sweetheart." His lips pressed to hers one more time before he jumped from the sofa, his endless energy and adrenaline coming back as he practically skipped out of the room like a toddler on cloud nine. Glancing his eyes around the hall Roger started jogging left when he noticed Claire was going towards the nurse's office where they clearly held the papers that they needed to sign to leave. Catching her up he rested a hand to her shoulder as not to startle her.

One of his signature smiles that came across rather cheeky plastered to his face as he took a moment to catch his breath back.

"Thought of a question, Mr Taylor?" Looking around the corridor Roger silently signalled to the office behind her, rather talking in there than in the corridor with passers-by. He had been stopped more times that he'd like to admit over the past two months coming to the hospital by fans. He needed a word in private. "Is something wrong?" There was a small smile on Claire's lips as she walked into the room, seeing there was no one else in there for a change. Walking over to a filing cabinet, she kept her gaze on Roger prompting him to carry on talking as she searched for the correct documents.

"No! I... it's just that we're taking James home today..."

"That is what these are for." She responded, lightly waving the papers at him before moving to stand in front of him. Her eyes narrowing as there was clearly something pressing on his mind that he seemed a little nervous or even reluctant to talk about. "Are you worried about taking James home?"

"Extremely, but that's not what I need to talk about." Reaching into his back pocket Roger circled his fingers around the piece of paper that was burning a hole there. His heart beginning to batter against his ribs from the adrenaline rush and the nerves he never usually got. "You- and the doctors and nurses- you all looked after (Y/n) and my boy. I... I thought I was going to lose them both but I haven't and I can't thank you all enough for that."

Glancing his eyes down Roger took a moment to catch his breath before pulling out the paper in his pocket.

"Life is priceless. I learnt that with James and I could never repay you all for the life you saved for me. I want to donate this, to the neonatal unit because I feel a great debt that I can't ever repay." Holding his hand out Roger held the check out to Claire that was signed and dated for the neonatal ICU of the hospital. He didn't care what they did with it, buy new equipment, make it bigger, support the families with it. Whatever they felt they needed to do he would be fine with.

There was no price on life, Roger understood that but they had saved James. They had given back something to (Y/n) and Roger that they were so sure they had lost. The drummer would never be able to pay them enough that would equal what they had given him but he needed to do something for them because James was alive.

"Mr Taylor... this is too much-"

"It's never going to be enough in my eyes. I have more money than is good for me and I would give you it all if it would make things square. Take it, save someone else like you did for me."

Queen had given the band so much more money than they had ever had in their lives and it wasn't stopping. The money rolled in what Roger was giving the hospital wasn't even half of what he was making with the band. Roger would give the hospital every last penny he had because they had saved his son for him. There was more money than he knew what to do with and for one of the first times, Roger knew that this was the most important thing to spend his money on. This was money well spent and he needed them to take it so he felt he had done something in return for the favour they had done him that gave him something so precious.

Stuffing his shaking hand into his back pocket Roger smiled, his other hand brushing away the tears that had fallen from his eyes before he gently took the papers from her hand. Seeing she was still trying to comprehend the number written on the check that she was so sure was a misprint.

"Save someone else." She mumbled under her breath, the words having an effect on her so much that she didn't realise Roger slipping out of the room.

[casual-crispy]

Be My Guide

My first proper six fic! Finally had the time gave up on revising to finish this! The idea is I wanted modern Kat to be happy and have friends so she joins a girl guide group! (Like girl scouts but British) Any feedback is welcome! Also I have more headcanons and ideas so if people want to know more or see this become a series, let me know!

The realisation hit Katherine when she was on her phone one day. She was looking at all the posts she was tagged in of friends seeing the show together. It filled her with joy that people loved it so much, loved her so much but there was something else not quite right. It was when she saw a selfie of two girls, around her age, looking like they were having the time of their lives that it clicked. Katherine was lonely.

Sure, she had the queens who loved her and she loved them. If she needed something, they would be happy to help. But they weren’t the same as having friends her age. Friends she could go shopping with or chat and gossip with or just hang out. Sure, she does all those things with the queens but Kat knows they all see her as a child. It’s lovely, and Kat knows she needs it half the time, but they’ve been doing the show for a while so surely, she’s made some progress by now. And it’s not like the other queens don’t have other friends. Catherine has got to know people at her church, the Annes always seem to know someone when they go out in the evenings, heck, Kat’s pretty sure Cathy has at least 3 pen pals. It makes sense she’d want to talk to other people too.

She decides to approach Jane about it.

“Mum, I’ve been thinking… I think I want to make friends like my own age? People to hang out and chat with and stuff. Not that I can’t do that with you and the other queens! I love the time we spend together” Kat rushes to add. “I really appreciate all you’ve done for me and I don’t know what I’d have done without you but… I just… wanna talk to someone my own age? The other queens have all made friends and stuff. I just… don’t know how.” Kat trails off, feeling silly about bringing it up.

Jane is quick to respond, sensing that Kat is unsure. “Kat, I think that’s a wonderful idea. It makes sense that you’d want to make new friends, we aren’t exactly your age even if we try to be ‘down with the kids.’” Jane nudges Kat who rolls her eyes in response. “I love you, sweetheart. If you want to find something to do, meet new people then go for it. Perhaps you can join a club, start a new hobby? I’ll try and find something, if you want?”

“Thanks mum, that’d be great.” Kat gives a smile of relief and heads back to her room. Jane is pleasantly surprised by Kat’s suggestion. She’s changed so much from the quiet girl who suffered alone; it fills Jane with pride.

Unfortunately, there weren’t any obvious answers. It wasn’t like Kat went to school and could meet people there or join any clubs, and she didn’t have much knowledge of modern hobbies for girls Kat’s age. She decided to do some research later and hopefully something will come up. Luckily, Catherine had a suggestion when she heard what Jane was doing.

“A club for Kat… I might be able to help with that actually. There’s this group who meet once a week at my church, I think they’re called guides or possibly rangers? They have a bunch of crafts and photos of trips on a display in the hall. Do you think that might work?” Catherine offered. “If it helps… I think it’s a girls only club, if you catch my drift?”

“I see. Well it’s certainly worth a shot, thanks Catherine. Guides, right? I’ll look into it.” Jane smiled and spent the next few minutes looking into what guides were exactly and found Girlguiding, a community built around giving girls opportunities and adventures. It sounded perfect, except that guides were 10-14. A bit more searching revealed that girls 14-18 could be a ranger but that still wouldn’t work for Kat. The section on young leaders sounded more promising, though. It wouldn’t be quite the same, but maybe it was more appropriate. Kat could be a young leader for a guide group, giving her the chance to socialise with other leaders around her age, while also giving her some responsibility. She didn’t say it specifically but Jane felt Kat was trying to be more independent. This seemed perfect, and if Kat was nervous about going alone, Jane could always volunteer as a regular leader too. Just in case, if Kat let her. Deciding it was a good option, Jane suggested it to Kat.

“What do you think? If it’s not right I’ll look for something else. You can stop at any time and…” Jane paused, not sure if she should continue. “If you don’t want to be alone, I could volunteer too but only if you want me to!” Jane watches Kat, trying to gauge her reaction.

“I like that idea. It sounds like it could be fun. If… if you were there, it wouldn’t be a big deal, right? They wouldn’t mind, would they?”

“Not at all, Kat. I’ll ask the leader when we can start, yeah?”

And so, Jane emails the guide leader asking if they could join. The leader, Joan, is all too happy to have more help, having recently lost a leader. She mentions a couple other young leaders who were sure to welcome Kat. She invited them to come early next Thursday so they can meet the others and give it a go for the evening.

Kat feels great about the evening right up until she’s getting ready to leave and starts stressing over what she’s wearing. What if the other girls think she looks silly? What if they make fun of her for bringing her mum? She tries to hide it but Jane notices as they drive to the church (Catherine gave them directions as Jane doesn’t trust those SatNav things).

“You alright, love? Nervous?” She puts a gentle hand on Kat’s leg. “I’m sure everyone will be lovely but if you don’t like today, we don’t have to come back. I’ll be there the whole time if you need me.”

“But what if… never mind.” Kat turns, staring out the passenger window.

“What if what, love? You can tell me.”

Kat answers in a quiet voice. “What if they think I’m dumb for bringing my mum with me?”

“They’re not going to think that. If it will make you feel better, I’ll leave you to do your thing tonight, yeah? I’ll keep my distance, just there if you need me, just in case. I don’t have to come back next week if you’re happy on your own. But let’s give it a try together this week, yeah?”

“Ok. Thanks mum.” Katherine gives a little smile as they pull into the car park.

Jane unbuckles her seatbelt and leans over, giving Kat a hug and a kiss on her forehead. “Let’s go make some friends.”

As they make their way inside, Kat resisting the urge to hold Jane’s hand, they meet Joan. She smiles brightly as she shakes each of their hands, thanking them for their help. Joan then introduces them to Maggie, another young leader, before giving a brief explanation of the plan for the evening. The girls are in groups doing their Go For Its so each group has their own plan and should bring their own supplies, leaving the leaders to just move back and forth, helping out where they’re needed and checking in to make sure they’re all making progress. Joan also mentions a guide, Lily, who is special needs and thus they should avoid making physical contact or crowding her unless she initiates. Finished with the briefing, Maggie suggests she and Kat collect the supplies so she knows where they are.

“So, what’s your deal? Sorry, that sounded rude. I mean… you don’t have to tell me anything. I just meant like… let me start again.” Maggie took a deep breath and put on a bright smile, “Hey, I’m Maggie and I’m 20. I volunteer here as a break from studying at uni. How about you?”

Kat gave a small chuckle at Maggie’s attempts. It made her feel a bit better about being so nervous. “I’m Kat, 19, and I spend most of my time performing in a west-end show.” She left out the fact that she was a reincarnation of a Tudor queen from 500 years. Probably not the most normal thing to tell people. “I’m here because I’m… I wanted to make friends. I don’t go to school so, yeah.” She trailed off.

“Well there are lots of people to make friends with here! Myself included, if you want me that is.”

“Yeah! I’d… I’d like that.”

“Awesome. Well here are the pens and such so let’s take them back before they think we’re hiding. So what’s it like being on the west-end?”

Meanwhile Jane was taking the moment of privacy with Joan to warn her about Kat’s… situation. “She has anxiety but has been making great progress recently. If anything happens, I’ll be able to handle it but I’m trying to give her more space tonight. She’s a bit worried people are going to judge her for me being here and I just want her to relax and make friends.” Joan is very understanding and they settle down over cups of tea, getting to know each other.

Kat and Maggie return with the pens, already getting along great, when guides start turning up. The first few girls all sit in groups chatting before the meeting starts. Eventually the other leaders, Maria and Holly, arrive. Maria has brought three guides with her, one of them being her own daughter. Holly turns up just as the meeting starts and immediately moves to sit with a couple of the guides, chatting quietly and barely looking up from her phone as Joan introduces Kat and Jane. She gives Kat a brief “Hey” before moving with her chosen group to get on with the evening.

The rest of the evening goes well. Kat follows Maggie around to begin with until she reaches a group that are trying to come up with interpretive dance. She watches what they have so far and starts offering ideas to extend it. Without realising it, she spends the rest of the evening helping and getting to know the girls and even being incorporated in the dance herself. When Joan called everyone together, Kat was disappointed but looked forward to next week when the group was going to write some short songs about things they liked.

Once they had packed up the few supplies, tidied their mess, sang the closing song (Jane made note to find the lyrics later), and sent most of the guides on their way home, Jane and Kat said goodbye and headed on their own way. Holly was staying on for rangers and seemed the most excited she had all evening, though she was currently smiling and frantically typing on her phone. Maggie had headed off a bit earlier to catch the bus back and Maria was waiting with her herd of children until the other guides were gone. In the car back, Kat had a big grin on her face.

“Have fun love?”

“Absolutely. I can’t wait until next week.”

[buckisthatyou]

Pretend - 6

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (modern au)

Word Count: 1544

Warning: -

Summary: Prompt from  @nerds-are-cool  (x) :  There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

Part 5

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Author note: Sorry for the late update. Been busy with life, preparing myself to go to uni. :’))) yikesss. So, i hope you guys enjoy this part. Have a good day! Don’t hesitate to leave feedback because I need some validation. lol 

You are in the kitchen, cleaning up your table as you just finished your lunch with Max. He has brought two boxes of pizza when he comes to your house. You wipe off the bread crunches off the table as Max throws the empty square boxes into the dustbin. The two of you just are humming along to the Nick Caves’ O Children while cleaning up the mess when all of sudden there is a knock. You lift your head, looking at the door then at Max, raising your eyebrows.

“You expecting anyone?” Max asks, walking over to you.

You shake your head, “No one other than you.”

Your eyebrows are furrowed as you try to remember if you have any other plans for today but none comes to your mind. You are about to walk to the door, welcoming anyone who comes to your place but then you stop. A voice comes from the other side of the door, “Your cookies are so goddamn good! You are amazing!”

There’s a few seconds of silence and exchanging confused look between you and Max before the both of you fall into a laugh mess.

“What the fuck was that?” Max says in between his laugh.

You shake your head as a response, walking to the door, you are hoping to see the person who is just randomly declaring their love to your cookies but you find the hallway to be empty.

“They left already.” You turn to face Max as you close the door. “It is weird.” You continue, making your way to Max who is sitting crossed legs on the floor, unpacking one of your boxes.

“What?”

“I gave the cookies to Natasha and no one else.”

“Maybe one of her friends come over and has a bite and they really love it? Your cookies are delicious though. So, it is not a surprise if someone comes to tell you how much they love the cookies.” Max says so casually as he picks up a photo frame of the two of you back when you two were in highschool.

He smiles looking at the photo.

“It has been years, isn’t it?” you say, mind is filled with thousands of memories.

Max nods. He looks up to you and smiles, showing his perfect teeth.

“I’m so glad you are here and that’s we are still friends.”

“Me too, Max. Me too.” You hug him, the two of you are getting emotional all of sudden only by a piece of old photo.

“Okay. Okay. We need to stop being sappy. Let’s get your house looks decent.” Max breaks the hug. 

He gets up and changes the playlist. “If we want to get work done, gotta listen to some upbeat music.” He grins at you. But as soon as you heard the beat of Uptown Funk, you laugh. You know there is going to be more of silly dance moves competition between you and Max rather than unpacking your stuff. But that’s fine because it means you are going to have a lot of fun with your best friend this weekend.

But when Monday comes, you are left alone by yourself. Making a simple breakfast, you sit in the living room, taking in the new look around your house, you smile. Things are more organized now thanks to your best friend for helping you out. The pictures of you and your family along with your friends from hometown have been put up on the wall and now you feel a lot more cosy.

This is home. You smile to yourself as you sip your morning coffee.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yes, if anything please inform me. Thank you so much.”

You shake your hand with the contractor after you are satisfied with the progression of his work on remodelling your little café. In a week or so you can finally start your business and it makes your heart swell with proudness and happiness.

After saying goodbye and leaving the man and his team to continue their work, you make your way to the public library. Nothing is better than killing your time in a building full with books. Besides, the quiet surrounding might help you focus on creating playlists for your own coffee shop.

You are drowning in the words from the novel, too engrossed with the interesting storyline. Plus, the soft music coming from your earphones makes you completely shut the door of the reality. You don’t notice a pair of eyes watching you from the History book section. A smile creeps on the owner of the piercing blue eyes’ face after noticing your existence. Making his way to your table, his heart beating faster, signalling the turbulence in his heart. Part of his logic asks him to leave you alone but his determined heart keeps encouraging him to at least say hi to you.

“Hi.”

You are aware of the shadow of a man in front of you, looking up to the person, you are left shocked.

He smiles nervously at you, afraid he has come as rude for interrupting your time. But the lack of response from you makes him regrets his decision to talk to you. He hates that once again he loses his logic to his stupid heart.

“I’m sorry. Just umm. Goodbye.”

He turns away from you, face turns red and knuckles turn white as he holds the thick book close to his chest. He is trying to cover up the embarrassment.

“Wait!” you say to stop him from walking away. “I’m sorry I was shocked. Come join me. Umm you know if you want to.” You give him a small smile, hopefully he understands the awkward side of you.

He grins back at you, pulling out the chair, he sits in front of you. “Yeah,I-I want to.”

Seeing him opening his book to start his reading, you put your earphones back in and continue to read your own. It is hard to do so, when there’s a beautiful man before you but after a few minutes you manage to gain back your focus and you begin to live in the fantasy and drifted apart from the reality.

Not even 15 minutes the two of you sitting in front of each other, minding your own business, he whispers trying to gain your attention.

“Hey.”

Looking up to him you raise your eyebrows. “Yes?”

“Do you wanna go for a lunch?” he asks you again eyes not leaving you.

You are sure that you are doing good but once the word lunch escapes his mouth, you stomach growls, begging to be feed.

With a shy smile, you nod for a yes. He chuckles at you.

“Come on. Someone is absolutely starving.” He says as he leads the way.

The two of you walk side by side in a comfortable silence. But soon he breaks it, introducing himself.

“I’m sure I haven’t introduced myself. I’m James.”

“James.” You repeat his name, trying to get used to it. “I’m y/n.” you say, looking at him with doe eyes.

He says your name again and you find it to be attractive. You will never get enough of the way his silky yet raspy voice pronounces your name correctly.

“That’s beautiful.” He compliments you making you feel giddy inside like a schoolgirl.

But then you remember the event when you accidentally met him and ruined his relationship. You are wrapped in a guilty feeling.

“Hey, I’m sorry for messing up your relationship. Are you and your wife get to work it out? You know, this is all misunderstanding right? Please say you guys are still together and I’m not ruining your relationship.”

He looks at you weirdly before he laughs. He laughs so hard he has to stop walking, making sure he is not going to fall on the ground.

You look at him in full confusion.

“Hey what’s so funny?”

He takes a deep breath before he is able to answer you. A small chuckle still escapes from his mouth though.

“I’m not married. Where did you get the idea from? And sweetheart, you not ruining anything. In fact, you saved me. She and I, we are just not good for each other.” He gives you a shrug.

You are standing there next to him, in disbelief.

“I saw you at the store with a kid!”

“Oh yes. That. Yeah, I saw you too. You looked like you just saw a ghost because I swear you went pale as fuck.” He teases you. “Come on. Let’s go have a lunch and I’ll explain to you. If we keep standing on the street, I’m sure you’re gonna die from being too hungry.” He narrows his eyes to your stomach that somehow can’t stop rumbling. He winks at you, showing his playful side.

“Now, shall we, doll?” He offers his hand to you.

James is a charming man and with the electric blue eyes and the award winning smile he can steal anyone’s girl. And you believe that you are already falling for this handsome man before you. You shake your head, this is too dangerous. The kind of game that will break your heart but your heart is weak and stupid. So, you take his hand.

“Lead the way, James.”

Part 7

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[iampikachuhearmeroar]

how to keep yourself together during uni semesters in australia:

im not gonna lie: over the past 3 years at uni, i have never kept myself together. so, im probably not the right type of person to give anyone advice on how to keep yourself “together” at uni lmao. but i felt like doing it, since im close to finishing so here you go, people:

class/subject and degree advice:

- if you’re not doing a double degree (which will probably give you four or five subjects to do each sem, and a full 4-5 days at uni each week, like some of my friends), stay home on your days off. take those days both to relax, and also fill yourself in to do some of your readings (although i’ll admit i only started the “doing my readings” thing this semester after two years of ignoring them, lol whoops.) this will help your stress levels a bit (hopefully) bc at least you know what the fuck you’re talking about in class and can actually say something during your tuts/lectures.

- if you’re doing a single degree or even a double degree (again i know some people who’ve done it with double degrees), and your full load of 4 or maybe 5 subjects is stressing you the fuck out, drop down to three units per a semester, if you want to actually keep a full load for certain things. yes, it will make your degree go slower in most cases, but not as slow as going part time. it will obvs make your load a tad lighter (if you’re a full-time student), and it’ll free up your days spent at uni. it will give you fewer deadlines to worry/stress about. 

on another note, go part time if you want to/have to. i met one person at a careers fair this year who’d been at uni for five years doing her commerce degree with just one subject a semester bc it gave her less stress and plenty of time to actually work at her job.

- go to your faculty’s/school’s help desk to find out whether your course progression is right. also book meetings with the head of your faculty whenever you can; according to the head of the students bookings are open or wherever possible in your timetable. doing this lets you know whether you’re progressing with your course in the right time-frame, or right time-frame for you. remember, these people are there to help you. this saved me hours of worrying throughout my degree. 

- TRANSFER DEGREES IF YOU HAVE TO: if you feel out of your depth, or completely disinterested in your degree, transfer from it. in some cases (mostly if you’re in the same faculty and the degree is a flexible/general one) you can easily get the first year subjects in transfer credit. this is what i did in first year, when i realised that i felt very out my depth, personality-wise and for other reasons, in the bachelor of communication and media studies in 2015. i knew, after one semester of it, that it was not what i wanted to study.

I realised that forcing myself through marketing and management subjects and studying blogging at uni just bc i had a tumblr- yes, that was my kind of ridiculous and super misguided reason for picking the course, believe it or not- would “kill” me, (like obvs not literally) but it would drain tf out of me if i continued w/ it. but  luckily, since it was in the same faculty, all i had to do was do an extra subject in spring sem in 2015 (bc degree changes required you to have 24 credit points in a semester to transfer at my uni for most courses), and that sem sucked, but i got a years worth of credit in my degree, so i finish one semester earlier.

- for classes in a single degree, try and find your ideal amount of days at uni. my ideal is three days. i almost had the opportunity to have a two day week at uni this sem, bc the timetable gods were almost good to me. but unfortunately, the timetable gods were assholes and managed to let a two hour tut for one class (editing) on tuesdays ran through my US literature lecture. but i also didn’t really want just 2 days at uni, bc i knew that i probably wouldn’t be fucking productive at all in the 3 remaining days i had off during the week.

- go part-time if you have to, no matter whether you’re on a single or a double degree. do your degree on your own terms.

- don’t listen to your parents spiel on your degree or what majors/minors to do. same goes for running your subject choices by your parents. 

- or if uni is really, really getting you down, you can defer for six months and go back later. (also, for mental health, see a councilor/psychologist either from your uni or outside of uni, i started doing this after a mental breakdown in second year). 

- on feedback from your professors/tutors: okay, so. i’ll admit here that i’ve become the asshole student that literally only gives a shit about the number grade, rather than the quality etc comments that the professor (usually) gives back to me after they’ve marked my assignment, bc i don’t really have the heart to read what they’ve written etc. but, like. actually read their feedback... or listen to it. 

if you have an odd professor that likes to give audio feedback (one of my philosophy profs did this, and no. i didn’t listen to it on either assignment, particularly bc it was my least fave subject that sem and bc i had a drama with the essay that lost me like 20% of my grade for that subject), listen back to it and see what they say on your (presumably, i have faith in y’all) well bullshitted essay. their feedback is valuable. also don’t be afraid to approach your tutors for feedback either.

- on asking for help/advice on your assignments or the subject in general from your profs/tutors: DO THIS. of course, it’ll just be general guidance in their consultation hours or via email, but, don’t be scared to ask them! it might boost your marks a bit or help you clarify your essay’s argument or something like that. i was too terrified for the better part of my degree, and then too stubborn to ask for help from my profs/tutors and i think that’s why my marks and my mental health got kinda shitty. idk how to ask for help. but then again, idk how many people actually do this in the courses i did. but y’all do it.

for the general side of this, they can help you by giving you extensions (if they’re not an asshole) or whatever to help you sort your shit out. this is something i never did. but do it when you need it.

- on the topic of marks, they don’t matter. but don’t try and settle in the “p’s get degrees” mindset... even though i say this whenever i get a final mark and it’s a pass. i aimed for a credit average tbh, marks wise. i’m dead average lmao. but then again, i’ve never been a straight-A student, born to graduate uni with like high class honours or the like.

general uni life and life advice:

- GET YOUR P’S OR BLACKS (i.e. GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENCE Y’ALL), if your family circumstances permit it or if you’re motivated enough, before you get to uni. it’ll open up so many opportunities on campus (if you don’t live on the campus and you live far away from it). and also other ops outside of uni. (but then again you might not bother driving to uni everyday  bc like uni parking, depending how it is at your uni, will always be a fight for spots.

- although i said earlier to use your days off to do some study... also use them for self-care and like life admin meaning the following:

face masks

actually take a looooonnnnngggg fucking showers y’all. the shower is the one place you’ll actually fully relax while you’re at uni. also it’s a good place to mentally plan and map out your essays etc.

yes, netflix

BUY A KINDLE (if your budget permits ofc). although it was a big cost on the outset obvs (its like $200), it was the best investment for me. i saved a fuck ton of money for some subjects, bc the books were either free or like $20-$30 cheaper on my kindle and not anywhere between $20-$40 for some texts in the uni shop. like, textbooks for english lit/creative writing or even philosophy (sometimes) etc subjects, can amount in costing to $200 or more in total for buying separate texts, just like a single, average business/law/nursing/science textbook.

read books from outside of your prescribed texts, and get totally engrossed in them if you can. i did this in first year with the complete tomorrow, when the war began series and the ellie chronicles (it’s sequel trilogy) by john marsden. and yes, i completely ignored by readings for these books, bc i hated like 90% of my uni texts. but i’ll admit that it made uni a tad more bearable, though.

if you have free days, do not go into uni. use them to catch up on sleep. or do my next point.

apply for jobs. maybe you’ll be lucky to get one and learn how to balance study with work. also it can keep you sane, money wise. something i didn’t get to have during these last 3 and a 1/2 years. but you’ll also get to know how hiring works, in general.

make yourself a fucking study timetable. this will help you get an idea of when you’re set for study. and i know, i know. it’s so hypocritical of me to suggest this bc i never bothered to make one for myself anf instead went with “i’ll study when i feel like it”......... which, um, barely ever happened all throughout uni... until this sem. lol whoops. try and stick to your timetable.

if you can, delete you fucking tumblr. 

COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! MAKE THIS BEVERAGE YOUR FRIEND.

if your uni has a bar, don’t avoid it. you might make friends there. i was alone at uni for a vast bulk of the time, so i avoided the bar and mostly stayed in the library.... which didn’t give me much time to make friends.

if you make good friends at uni, talk to them often, so that you can coordinate some of your classes/tuts with them and so you can exchange not w/ each other to save time come exams. it’ll also save your ass in some classes where the prof passes around the roll in the lecture and doesn’t really check the attendance

also try and pick subjects that have recorded lectures, those fuckers save your ass come essay writing time etc.

if you’re doing literature/creative writing etc subjects, read some of your prescribed texts in the uni break- in either the november-march break or the june/july break. yeah, it’ll drive you insane bc you’re reading for a class in the holidays, but, fuck. it’s saved my ass a couple of times with books that are anywhere between 200-400 pages long (e.g. wuthering heights, lady chatterly’s lover, the grapes of wrath, any of shakespeare’s plays etc etc) giving me either a lighter reading load bc I’d finished the book during break or I’d left a few pages near the end of the book, but had read the bulk saving me a fuck tonne of reading time during the heavy part of the sem.

AUDIOBOOKS BITCHES. i only started using audiobooks on youtube when doing shakespeare. but damn. they’re amazing if you don’t really want to be engaged in a physical book sometimes, and great for gauging the tone of whats being said/picturing the characters more clearly when doing literature/creative writing subs. i’ve heard several times that they’re particularly good for commuting to and from uni, if you live far away. but sometimes they can be a bit pricey.

buy secondhand textbooks y’all.

DO NOT BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS IN ADVANCE, in some cases. i did this for a lot of my subjects, and some times one to two of the texts changed each year... or in one case, THE WHOLE FUCKING READING LIST CHANGED. LITERALLY, and i’d spent like $200 buying the books in advance. but also, i got to read some good books by accident. don’t waste your money. but if you can find them cheap (like old editions in other fields obvs, that students are selling, buy them if you hella need the book)

take lunch in to save money on expensive campus food. but on that same note, don’t forget to spoil yourself with some of the nice food on campus every once in while.

also for lit/creative writing subjects, go to your local op shop or thrift shop to find some of the older books and get them for like $2 or 90cents instead of the fucking $15-$30 that your uni will have you sell your soul for.

Feel free to add more!!! and defs for other fields! 

[iminclinedtowriting]

FYI my date is a boy

summary: “First off, Mum, seeing as Sarah is my ex-girlfriend, similarity to her isn’t exactly a selling point. Second of all, I am seeing someone, so I’ll have to turn down the awkward blind wedding date.” aka Shit. I just told my mom I'm in a relationship and I haven't even told her I'm bisexual. Now what? words: 3000 genre: fluff, established relationship, coming out time: may 2011ish series: My Youth Is Yours part: 2 [[ao3]]

This semester is definitely going to be the death of me. All that is left is this 5,000 word paper. Just one dumb term paper is the only thing standing between me and the sweet freedom of being done with my first year of uni.

I’m lounging on Phil’s bed, surrounded by textbooks and half-heartedly trying to write a few paragraphs. Phil’s apartment was empty when I got here this afternoon, so I’m monopolizing the entire bed as fruitless, petty revenge for Phil not being here to distract me. I’m not quite sure where Phil is at the moment, but I hope he has the foresight to stop at the grocery store on his way home. The refrigerator currently contains ketchup, stale bread, and a questionable tub of yogurt – not exactly dinner ingredients.

Not that I’ve been paying too much attention to work anyway, but I’m completely distracted from ‘writing’ when my phone rings from the depths of the covers. When I manage to dig my phone out of the blankets, I answer without looking. I assume it’s Phil, hopefully calling about dinner (no one else really calls me, tbh).

“Hello?”

“Hello sweetheart, how are you today?”

How wrong I was. I love my mother. Dearly. But if I’d noticed the caller id, I probably would have let it go to voicemail. I’d hate to further distract myself from tumblr writing.

“Hi, mum. I’m doing well. I’ve been working on my term paper all day.” Sort of, whatever.

“I’m so proud of how hard you’re working, Daniel.” I grimace, and I’m not sure if it’s because she used my full name or because she’s seriously misguided in her pride.

A few seconds of silence pass before Mum continues. “Your cousin Cassidy is getting married – your invitation came in the post with ours today.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I’ve always liked Adam.”

“The wedding is June 15th. You’re done with your semester before then, right?

“Yeah, the semester is over June 4th. I can make it. Will you RSVP for me?”

“No problem, dear. I’m so glad you can come. If you haven’t already made plans, I was thinking you could come home a bit early and we can do something for your birthday.”

Ugh. As much as I love Cassidy and want to be there for her wedding, I was hoping to spend my birthday with Phil this year. We haven’t made actual plans yet, but he’s been hinting at a restaurant he wants to take me to.

“Er… yeah, maybe. I’m not sure if I’m doing anything on my birthday, I’ll have to let you know.” I say noncommittally.

“Well, if it makes any difference, Cassidy said you could bring a date. If you’re seeing someone, you could bring them home with you for your birthday as well… Although, if you’re not seeing anyone, my friend Jodie has a daughter that is starting at Manchester in the fall I think you’d get on with well. She reminds me a lot of Sarah.”

“First off, Mum, seeing as Sarah is my ex-girlfriend, similarity to her isn’t exactly a selling point. Second of all, I am seeing someone, so I’ll have to turn down the awkward blind wedding date.”

I immediately blanch as I realize I just confessed to being decidedly not single.

My mum, however, did not miss the confession. “That’s great, honey. I’m glad to hear that! How long have you been dating? Does she study law too? Do you think you’ll bring her to the wedding?”

Shit shit shit. Fuck this is not how I thought this conversation was going to go.

I hesitate for a moment, trying to think of the best way to end this conversation as quickly and with as little information as possible. When I finally respond, I chose my words carefully and actively avoid using any pronouns.

“Calm down, Mum. We’ve been dating for several months.” Technically 20 months qualifies as ‘several months’… “I’m not sure about the wedding or my birthday yet. I’m not sure if it’s the best idea. We’ll have to talk it over.”

“Several months!? I can’t believe you’ve kept this a secret for that long, Daniel. I hope you decided to bring her – I’m sure everyone would love to meet her, especially since you’ve been dating for a while now.”

“Yeah, uh… Like I said, we’ll see, Mum. I’ve got to go, I’m in the middle of my term paper and I need to finish this section before I lose my train of thought,” I invent wildly, desperate to end the call.

“Oh sorry dear, I didn’t mean to interrupt your studying. Don’t think you are off the hook though, I expect more details about this later.”

“Okay, sure Mum, bye.” I smash the end call button before my mother has a chance to respond. With a sigh of frustration, I flop onto my back and glare at the ceiling, considering my options.

Pretend to break up with my ‘girlfriend’ in the next month so I can avoid bringing ‘her’ to the wedding.

Not exactly foolproof. Mum will still ask a million questions about our relationship (and it’s timely demise) that I’ll either have to evade or lie about. Not to mention, I’ll still have to switch all of the pronouns.

Find a girl willing to pretend to be my girlfriend for the weekend.

Also has its complications. For starters, I definitely do not have any female friends close enough to ask that kind of favor of. Not to mention, we’d have to make up a complete back-story and risk getting caught in a web of lies. And what if I had to kiss her or something? I don’t want to kiss anyone that isn’t Phil.

Come out.

Terrifying.

The more I think about it, though, the more option three is the only option that makes sense. Me and Phil are only getting more serious – I’m planning to move in with him when the semester is over for god’s sake – and the truth is going to have to come out sooner or later. If I go along with this girlfriend ruse now, I’ll end up having to confess that I lied or lie more later on to cover up this lie.

Resolutely, I shove my law books aside (no way I am going to be able to concentrate on it now, let’s be real) and move to the living room. As I fiddle with my phone, I consider texting Phil to ask when he’s coming home but I figure I’ll just wait. Before I call my mum back, I need to talk to Phil. I have no idea how to do this.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting on the sofa, staring at the wall with thoughts rushing around my head when I finally hear the click of the door being unlocked. Phil barely has the deadbolt turned before I’m standing in front of the door. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I gratefully notice that he is holding several Tesco bags, but my appetite has completely vanished.

“Thank god you’re home, we need to talk.”

Phil’s eyes widen and he looks alarmed. “Why? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Honestly? I’m kind of panicking.”

“Okay, take a seat and let me put the milk away. Then we can talk.”

I shuffle over to his table, immediately burying my head in my hands. The chair next to me screeches as Phil pulls it out and sits down. Out of the periphery of my vision, I can see Phil reach for my hand.

“What’s wrong?”

I groan into my arms and take a deep breath before I sit up. “My mum called today. Apparently my cousin Cassidy is getting married next month and she invited me to the wedding.”

“Er, alright. I’m not sure I’m understanding the problem here…”

“There are several things. One really big problem and a whole buttload of smaller problems.” Phil looks at me expectantly. “One: the wedding is June 15th and my mum wants me to come home for my birthday. Two: I was told I could bring a date to both my birthday and the wedding. Three: my lovely mum offered to set me up on a blind date with her friend’s daughter.”

Phil chuckles. “Alright. None of those seem life changing. If you have to go home for your birthday, we can celebrate early, that’s fine. Also, I’d rather you didn’t take your mum up on the blind date, seeing as I like having you as my boyfriend and all.”

“None of those were the big problem, Phil.”

“So what is it then?”

I finally look up enough to meet Phil’s eyes. “I told my mum I’d have to turn down the blind date since I’m seeing someone. Now she’s hoping I’ll bring that person home with me. And she’s assuming that person is a girl.”

Phil looks about like a deer in headlights. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“What are you thinking of doing?”

“I’ve thought about this a lot in the past—” I glance at the clock “—three hours. There’s only one logical option. I need to come out sooner or later, so it might as well be now, I guess.”

“I don’t want you to feel pressured. If you aren’t ready or don’t want to, we can figure something out.”

I close my eyes and collect my thoughts, taking a deep breath. When I open my eyes, I resolutely meet Phil’s gaze. “I’m sure. I knew the time would come and it’s come,” I say with an air of finality.

“I’m proud of you, Bear.”

“Thanks. I have no idea how I’m going to do this though. I mean, how does someone just call up their mum and be like ‘hey, thanks for telling me I could bring a date, but fyi it’s a boy and I’m bisexual’…?”

“Probably with a bit more tact than that. Maybe skype would be a better option. Or you could wait until you go home.”

“No, I don’t want to wait until I go home. If I wait until I go home then I can’t bring you as a date. Or worse, bringing you as my date will actually be how I come out. Oh my god, I didn’t even ask, do you even want to go to this? The wedding? I’m sure I can get out of the birthday thing if I try, but I have to go to the wedding. I’d love it if you’d come, but I get that meeting my whole family all at once is really intimidating and I wouldn’t blame—”

“Dan. Shut up.” Phil interrupts me and I stop rambling.

“Sorry.” I turn my gaze downward and toy with the hem of my shirt. Phil grabs my face between his hands, forcing me to look up at him.

“Of course I want to go with you. Both to the wedding and for your birthday.”

“But I know you had plans in mind for here.”

“Nothing that can’t happen a day or two early. This way you get two birthdays!” Phil looks so excited that I almost forget about the task looming over my head. Almost.

“Okay. So that’s settled. Now I just need to actually tell my mum and hopefully she doesn’t revoke the date invitation.”

“It’s going to be fine, Dan. I know it’s nerve-wracking, but I think your family is going to take it much better than you’re giving them credit for. When do you want to talk to her?”

“Now?” I try to sound confident, but instead, it comes out like a weak question. Phil raises his eyebrow. “I want to do it before I lose my nerve.”

Without saying anything, Phil disappears into his room. When he returns, he is carrying my laptop and a bag of Maltesers. “Here.” He shoves the laptop into my hands. “Text your mum now. Tell her you need to skype.”

I nod numbly and do as he says. My mum replies almost instantly.

I’ll be on in 5 minutes. Is everything okay?

I don’t respond. She’ll find out soon enough.

Phil rises and kisses my forehead. “I’ll let you have privacy with your mum.”

“NO!” I shout before I can control myself. I quickly add, “I really, really don’t think I can do this alone. Can’t you just like… sit at the table out of shot or something?”

“Of course. But if you decide you want me to leave, just say so, okay?” He settles back down into his chair and angles the laptop so that only I will be on camera.

I nod quietly in assent without taking my eyes off of the screen. In three minutes there will be a green dot next to my mum’s name. There’s no turning back now.

I snap out of my daze when the skype call comes through but I’m too petrified to move to answer it. Phil notices and reaches over and hits the accept button for me. Instead of pulling his hand back though, he grabs my hand and holds it under the table. The hidden gesture gives me the courage to speak.

“Hi, mum. Thanks for dropping whatever you were doing.”

“It’s no problem, honey. What’s going on?”

“Well, I was thinking about what you said earlier. If the offer still stands, I would like to bring a date.” I choose my words with care, making sure not to use pronouns before I actually intend to.

“Daniel! That’s great news. Of course the offer still stands. I’m so excited that—”

“Mum. Hold on. Let me say what I need to say before you decide if my date is still invited.”

That shuts her up. Phil squeezes my hand under the table and sends me a reassuring look when I glance over. On screen, my mum watches me expectantly.

“My date, um, wouldn’t be a girl.”

In the next five seconds, my mum’s face goes through a series of emotions. First she seems confused, then surprised, then anxious, but finally settles on calm.

“The offer still stands. I would love to meet your boyfriend.” I notice that she seems barely fazed by the word. “And I’m sure the rest of the family would too. So long as he makes you happy and isn’t a serial killer, I think everyone will be just fine.”

As she talks, I can literally feel the weight melting off my shoulders. I was so nervous about the hundreds of ways that this could have gone poorly that I never actually considered she would be so nonchalant about it.

“Thanks, mum.” I can feel tears prickling my eyes. Phil is positively beaming beside me. “Your support means so much.”

“I love you, Dan, no matter who you love.” She looks pensive for a moment. “It’s Phil, isn’t it?”

Her question catches me off guard and I can feel heat my cheeks instantly flush with heat. I nod sheepishly.

“How long?” She asks curiously.

“Um, like September.” She opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. “Of 2009.”

“YOU’VE BEEN DATING PHIL FOR THAT LONG AND DIDN’T TELL US?!” She shouts, but she doesn’t sound angry, just shocked.

“I told you I didn’t buy that ‘friends’ crap!” Adrian shouts from the next room.

“LANGUAGE, ADRIAN!” Phil guffaws at the exchange beside me. “Is that Phil I hear in the background?”

“Yeah, Phil’s here.” I jerk my head slightly and Phil shuffles into the shot.

“Hi Mrs. Howell!” Phil waves cheerfully with the hand that isn’t still attached to mine.

“Hello, Phil. I look forward to getting to properly meet you in person soon. So you boys have really been dating for…” Her face scrunches up as she tries to do the calculations.

“Nearly two years?” I fill in for her. “Yeah.”

Her expression turns slightly disappointed and when she speaks, she sounds sadder. “Why did you tell us sooner?”

I knew this would come up. It’s something I’ve thought a lot about since Phil and I started talking.

“Well, at first, I didn’t want to mention it because it was so new. And then when I went to visit him the first time, I was afraid that if I told you what we actually were, you wouldn’t let me get on a train to go halfway across the country to meet my boyfriend. Then I was planning to come to Manchester for uni and I didn’t want you to think I was moving to Manchester just to be with my boyfriend. And, well, since then, I guess I was just nervous and didn’t know how to talk about it or how you would react.”

I could see tears forming in my mum’s eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry that we’ve made you feel like you couldn’t confide in us. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like hiding this for so long. Please, don’t feel like you need to hide things from us in the future.”

“Thanks, mum.”

The conversation shifted to planning me and Phil’s trip. It takes a bit of negotiation, but we finally settle on us arriving the evening before my birthday and leaving two days after Cassidy’s wedding. I can’t tell who is more excited: my mum or Phil.

When the call finally disconnects, I fly into Phil’s arm. He wraps his arms around me tightly. “It went well. It went really well, Phil.” I’m smiling so wide that my cheeks hurt and Phil pokes my dimple, which is more of a crater than a dimple at the moment.

“It did, Bear. I’m happy for you.” He leans in and kisses my lips softly. He slowly presses long, sloppy kisses along my jaw and the mood shifts into something more heated. When his lips return to mine, the kiss is more urgent. I move my legs to straddle his lap, pulling my shirt off in the process.

Phil works his way back up my jaw and lightly pulls my earlobe into his mouth. “I’d say let’s move this to the bed, but I noticed that someone left the entire law library on my bed.” His voice is husky and his deep chuckle vibrates along my neck, which melts me into an almost incoherent state of bliss.

“Couch?”

next part

[singingunderthecurtain]

DIAMOND (CEO AU Baekhyun Series) Part 10

Also on AFF

Diamond Mini Masterlist

Photo not mine, found it on Google.

Author: @julietsoddeye​ AU: CEO!Baekhyun Genre: Angst | Smut | Romance Pairing: Baekhyun x Lee Soojin (You/OC) [Written as if the reader is the OC] (This CH: Chen x Liu Yanmei [OC]) Trigger Warning: Smut on future chapters. Mentions of car accident. Mentions of being blind. Baekhyun being an a-hole. Word Count: 5,328

Plot: After 10 years of exile to another country, you are finally back home and you were surprised to find out that you are engaged to the son of your father’s long-time friend and business partner.

On this Chapter:

“Wanna go back to my suite?”

Baekhyun offers.

“No, not right now. We need to stay for Minseok Oppa. Besides, it’s still too early to leave.”

You decline and Baekhyun nods in understanding. You know in the back of your mind that whatever happens in that suite, alone with Byun Baekhyun, you wouldn’t be able to refuse and say no. You know to yourself that because of your frustrations with him and his constant changes, is slowly making your heart and mind clouded. Hisako maybe right about you slowly falling for the enemy. You aren’t sure anymore if he’s an enemy because your relationship with each other is actually getting better than how it originally was.

Baekhyun was closely watching the direction of the restrooms, waiting for the three friends to finish their female powder room rituals. It has been a good 10 minutes already, isn’t that too long for a comfort break? But then again he wouldn’t know since he’s not a woman. Men literally just use the restroom to pee or take a dump. God knows what women do in there.

“So you finally made Yanmei say yes to your ugly ass, huh?”

Chanyeol chaffs, making Jongdae slightly choke on his champagne.

“That was mean, Chanyeol,” Hyerin interjects as Kyungsoo chokes on his Champagne as well, suppressing a laugh at what Chanyeol said.

“Ugly? Have you looked in the mirror lately, Chanyeol? I have a girlfriend, you’re single. Who’s the ugly ass one here?”

Jongdae whines.

“Be honest with us, Doc. Who is the most handsome one among the nine of us?”

Chanyeol pointed his Champagne flute to Hyerin’s direction.

“Hmm, let me see…”

Hyerin pretends to think deep, rubbing her chin as she looks around the table.

“I think the most handsome is Kyungsoo.”

“That’s unfair, he’s your fiancé!”

Now it was Chanyeol’s turn to whine. Just as Baekhyun was listening to the nonstop bantering of his friends, he saw Hisako storms out the restroom area, wiping her face with the back of her palm, running off to the direction of the balcony of the ballroom.

“Was that Hisa—”

Seconds later, it was you and Yanmei who finally went out the restroom, you’re escorting Yanmei as she hiccups slightly. As the two of you are nearing the table, Baekhyun and Jongdae are staring intently at how red Yanmei’s cheeks, nose and the rim of her eyes.

“What happened?”

The concern in Jongdae’s eyes are obvious, but he’s glued to his seat with shock.

“Chanyeol, please follow Hisako wherever she went. Just promise me you’ll take care of her tonight.”

Chanyeol stood up immediately and nodded at you without hesitation. He ran the path of the balcony as fast as his feet can take him. You sat Yanmei on her chair next to Jongdae and she buries her face in his suited chest straightaway, making Jongdae wrap his arms around her protectively without another question.

“Can we please go somewhere, I suddenly feel like shit.”

Yanmei’s voice was muffled by Jongdae’s clothes, but you still heard it.

“Let’s go to my suite, baby. Okay?”

Yanmei nodded her head with vigor, eager to get away from a lot of people as fast as possible.

“Can you explain to Minseok Hyung if he asks of my whereabouts?”

He asked no one in particular, the whole table chorus with yeses and of course.

“What happened?”

Baekhyun finally asks once Jongdae and Yanmei are out of earshot, the people around the table looking at you intently as they wait for the answer.

“Hisa and Mei-mei kind of argue about something really stupid, just as usual. I’m sure they’ll be back to playful teasings and banters by tomorrow.”

You assured all of them and they bought your lie except for Baekhyun. He knows you’re not telling the truth by the way you smile so nervously. When the people on your table went back to their normal conversation, Baekhyun gingerly takes your hand in his and caresses the skin to get your attention.

“The dance floor is open, wanna dance?”

“Sure.”

You agreed, sensing that he wants to talk.”

Baekhyun twined his fingers with yours, palm to palm. You stood up synchronously from your respective chairs and apologize to the people you touch shoulders with as you make your way to the semi-crowded dance floor hand in hand with Baekhyun. The tight grip he has on your hand and the gentle way he was tugging you is contradicting, but it peculiarly and amazingly works together. And the tiny knots that are starting to play inside your stomach doesn’t help the way you’re walking with your new pumps, so you let him lead you to the middle of the dance floor.

Finally, Baekhyun stops on his stride to face you. He wraps his right arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him. A tiny squeak reverberates inside your throat, hoping to the heavens above that he didn’t hear it. The music was loud, so hopefully, he didn’t notice that. With his free hand, he tucks a strand of curly hair behind your right ear, cupping your jaw inside his palm and kisses your cheeks tenderly. You slid both your arms smoothly under his to anchor your hands around his waist.

“Are you okay?”

He asks as he starts rocking you gently to the instrumental version of 4men’s Baby Baby that a pianist of the band was playing.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

You counter.

“I know it sucks being the middleman of 2 friends fighting.”

“You and your friends, doesn’t seem like you guys argue ever.”

“You’re right, but it happened once. Between Minseok Hyung and Seungmin Hyung.”

You tighten your grip on Baekhyun with the mention of your brother’s name.

“R—really?”

“Yeah. It was the time Jongdae, Chanyeol and I entered Uni. We went to their shared apartment in the same condo building as ours after settling in. We found their door unlocked and they were shouting at each other, Minseok Hyung a drunken mess.”

Baekhyun paused to give a light and gratuitous peck on the skin where your neck and shoulders meet.

“Why were they— why were they arguing?”

You try your best to speak as clearly as you can, not giving any hints that what he was mindlessly doing is affecting you tremendously. His kiss left a burning feeling on your skin at its aftermath, causing you to shiver minuscully. Baekhyun draws circles on the small of your back with the thumb of his hand that was holding you from your waist and you close your eyes slowly with the comfort.

“That time, Minseok Hyung was going through his mother’s passing and alcohol problems. Seungmin Hyung was disappointed that Minseok Hyung turns to drinking instead of him, his own best friend.”

Baekhyun pauses again to twirl you around slightly.

“Jongdae and Chanyeol being the dumbasses that they were, took sides. Jongdae with his cousin, of course, and Chanyeol with Seungmin Hyung.”

“Understandable, but go on.”

“I didn’t wanna favor any of them, so I ask for each side’s story and feelings regarding their issue. It wasn’t easy but I eventually got them talking again.”

“I didn’t know my brother is capable of being disappointed at someone else. He has always been a considerate and patient brother. I can only wish I have a sliver of his kindness.”

You sigh.

“Seungmin Hyung’s disappointment was for Minseok Hyung’s sake. He was worried about him.”

“I wish Seungmin Oppa didn��t have to go away.”

“Me too, Soojinnie. It was three years ago since he drifted apart from the group. He went completely weird and unresponsive for a whole year because of the pressure of being the next CEO. And then the next year, he ran away with a maid who he said he fell in love with.”

You hear Baekhyun sigh as well, as he remembers the friendship he has with your brother that sunders slowly with the burden of the society you all belong to. Your brother was very vocal to you ever since childhood about his wishes of being born into a normal family, instead of the one you both share. Before your exile, it was always jarring for you knowing your brother is your father’s number one cynic. But after the old man kicked you out of your home into another country made you the second person to hate him a lot.

The voice of the emcee woke you up from your thoughts as he announces that it was time for the real party. The music suddenly becomes lively and the people went crazy as they start to dance like they have no class. Thankfully the crowd on the dance floor were near your age and the elders are either just sitting in their places or are scattered around the venue. Some drunk already and some are pretending to like each other because they didn’t want to ruin the wedding atmosphere.

“Wanna go back to my suite?”

Baekhyun offers.

“No, not right now. We need to stay for Minseok Oppa. Besides, it’s still too early to leave.”

You decline and Baekhyun nods in understanding. You know in the back of your mind that whatever happens in that suite, alone with Byun Baekhyun, you wouldn’t be able to refuse and say no. You know to yourself that because of your frustrations with him and his constant changes, is slowly making your heart and mind clouded. Hisako maybe right about you slowly falling for the enemy. You aren’t sure anymore if he’s an enemy because your relationship with each other is actually getting better than how it originally was.

Baekhyun leads you back to your table and all the people in there are gone.

“I need to talk to somebody from our board of directors, do you want to come with me or just sit here? I promise I’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll stay Baekhyun, go do your thing. My feet hurt because of these shoes anyway.”

“Do you want anything before I go?”

“No. There are butlers everywhere, I can call for one if I needed a drink.”

You smile up at him when he pulls out a chair for you to sit on.

“Okay, It’ll be really quick. I promise. Don’t talk to strangers.”

He jokes and left. As you were about to go touch your aching feet, Baekhyun was back shortly after and quickly kisses your cheeks before he left you alone again. The gesture made you smile wide and you touch the skin where Baekhyun kissed with your fingers.

“Champagne, miss?”

A stoic butler suddenly infiltrates, holding a big round tray of crystal flutes full of Champagne.

“Yes please…”

The butler gently puts one down in front of you and almost turn the other way to serve some other guests, but he stopped when you called for him.

“Excuse me, can you leave three more glasses for my boyfr— date.”

You almost said boyfriend, but changed your mind the last second and said date instead.

“Sure, miss.”

~~~

“Are you finally willing to talk to me?”

“Leave me alone, Chanyeol.”

Hisako swats Chanyeol’s hand from her shoulder again for the umpteenth time since she ran away from her friends and went out to this balcony two hours ago. He has been with her since that time, she was just going to ignore him but Chanyeol keeps on insisting questions her way.

“Hisa, I’m your date for tonight, I cannot leave you alone.”

Chanyeol sighs his patience almost out now. If only he didn't promise to Soojin, he’d be enjoying the party by now.

“Chanyeol we’re not friends, why are you doing this?”

He was a little hurt by what she said, but the break in her small voice convinced him that she really needs someone to listen to her right now.

“I’m hurt, Hisa. I thought we were best friends already.”

He jokes with a slight smirk on his lips. Hisako looks up at him, her face is rid of makeup by now and eyes still leaking with tears. How can anyone cry for two hours straight? Isn’t she dehydrated by now? He thought to himself.

“I’m not in the mood for jokes right now, Chanyeol. Just go away, I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone for that matter. I just want to be alone.”

“I can’t leave you alone. I can’t leave you alone looking like that. I would look like a jerk if I did.”

Chanyeol plucks a handkerchief from his suits inside chest pocket and hands it to Hisako. She looks at the nude-colored handkerchief that matches his suit as her tears still continue to flow freely.

“Take it. Just take it, Hisako. It won’t kill you.”

Hisako didn’t budge so Chanyeol has to grab her wrist and push the wiping cloth into her open palm. Hisako hesitated for a few seconds but eventually grips it inside her palms.

“Wipe your nose, there’s a booger.”

Chanyeol clicks his tongue as he takes a seat beside her. Hisako’s hand urgently fly to her face and wipe her nose and was disappointed to find out that there was no booger.

“You suck, Chanyeol!!!”

Hisako whines like a lost child and more tears fell from her eyes. Chanyeol panics and embraced Hisako to covered her mouth with both his hands.

“Yah! If someone comes out here, they might think I made you cry!!!”

Hisako keeps wailing and whining as Chanyeol struggle to keep her calm.

“I’ll let go if you promise you won’t whine anymore.”

Hisako nods her head yes vigorously. Chanyeol lets her go and Hisako wipes her mouth with the salty mix of her tears and Chanyeol’s skin.

“Gross!!!”

Hisako hollers and Chanyeol laugh.

“So tell me, what happened?”

“What happened with what?”

“Why you’re crying?”

“I don’t want to.”

Hisako flings Chanyeol’s handkerchief to his chest and it landed on his lap as she crosses her arms across her chest.

“Trust me Hisako, you’ll feel better if you talk about it with someone instead of just crying it out.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because I’m naturally a nice person. You just didn’t give a chance to get to know me.”

Chanyeol quirks an eyebrow at her and she bore her stare into his eyes.

“Fine.”

~~~

Fifteen minutes and five glasses of Champagne later, Baekhyun is still not back.

“I’ll be back soon I promise, my ass, Byun Baekhyun.”

You scoff to yourself and suddenly feel the need to pee.  Your surrounding whirls a little bit when you stood up, but after a few seconds of pausing you recovered and made your way to the restrooms where you and your two best friends argued a few hours ago.

The restroom is empty again and you reached for the last cubicle to do your business. As you sat down on the cold mahogany toilet seats, loud and boisterous laughter enters the peaceful restroom.

“Ugh, have you seen that girl with Jongdae? Oh, my God, I can’t believe he’s seriously dating someone like… that. Yuck!”

“I know right, what’s with her that you don’t have?”

“Nothing. I have more if anything. I heard she’s really poor back in America.”

“Ew, Jongdae is into charity now?”

The sound of four girls laughing ensues.

“I can’t believe Lee Soojin is friends with people like her and the other one, what’s her face?”

“Something Hisako, I think. The Japanese lawyer.”

“Ugh, Soojin can be a part of our crew. She’s rich and pretty.”

“But Baekhyun is my ex-boyfriend. She can’t join us.”

You recognize the voice, it’s Kim Taeyeon. Ugh, Kim Taeyeon. She used to not affect you in any way, but ever since you're beginning to have feelings for Baekhyun, you started getting annoyed by the mere mention of her name.

“You’re right, Taeyeon. I’m sorry.”

“If that bitch didn’t enter the scene, Baekhyun would still be mine. Probably we’d be the one engaged right now.”

You heard Taeyeon talked again. You inhaled deeply to prepare yourself for war. You’ve had a few drinks so your confidence level is way above there. Usually, you’d ignore and tolerate malicious people like Taeyeon, but right now you’re pretty stressed yourself and you cannot accept the fact that she talks about you behind your back. She’s a good actress in front of you and other people. If she actually feel that way about you, she better say it in front of your face.

As you exhaled heavily, you unbolt the lock of the cubicle you’re in and pushes the door with force causing the four girls to look at the commotion with surprise in their eyes. The moment you slowly walk out the cubicle, calmly and squeezes your way in the middle of them to 'wash your hands', their eyes widen more if that’s even a feasible thing.

“O—Oh Soojin-ssi, d—didn’t know you were here.”

You recognize as Tiffany said with her jaws slightly dropped.

“Yeah, I was here the whole time.”

You faked a cheery tone as you reach for the soap dispenser.

“I like your dress.”

Wendy, the daughter of one of your company’s main investors squeaks out all of a sudden. Taeyeon, Tiffany, and Irene, the other girl, looked at her as if she did something really embarrassing.

“Thanks. Baekhyun personally got it for me. We went to one of their stores and tried on clothes… Together. Inside the dressing room.”

You wink at Wendy through the mirror as you shake to dry your hands vigorously and droplets of water whisk at them, making them whine and wail as if water will kill them.

“What the hell?!”

Taeyeon shrieks while she grabs your arm rather roughly to stop you from swaying the water off of your hands.

“Don’t touch me!”

You pull yourself away from Taeyeon, her semi-long nails gets stuck on your lacy sleeves and it tears at it a little bit.

“Oh no, your dress…”

Taeyeon gasps fakely and laughs right after. The three other girls laugh along with her in a mocking manner.

“You’re so fake Taeyeon for talking behind my back. Why won’t you say all that to my face, instead of talking to your little friends about the opinions you have about me and my best friends?”

“Soojin-ssi, it’s because I’m not like your friend that Chinese slut, Yanmei. I know how to be civil, unlike her.”

“She is not a slut, maybe you are!”

“Excuse me?”

“You went all the way to Chairman Byun’s Island just to ride Baekhyun’s dick. You were on a faraway island in The Bahamas than we were, who’s the slut here now?”

Taeyeon and her minions' gasps loudly and Taeyeon slightly choke on air.

“How dare you?”

“And how dare you talk about my friends as if you know them?”

“Of course I know them, everybody probably did a background check on them already. And even on you.”

“Yeah me too, Taeyeon. My friends are professionals. Unlike you, after college, you just continue to ride on your Daddy’s little fortune. You didn’t even bother looking for something you can do with your pathetic life.”

“You bitch!”

When Taeyeon was about to slap you, the door of the restroom suddenly open. She straightens herself when she saw your sister, Soojung and Doc. Hyerin enter.

“What is happening here?”

Soojung asks no one in particular, she immediately slides beside you and squeezes your arms and shields you from Taeyeon protectively. Her Marquise shape diamond necklace similar to yours twinkling beautifully under the bright fluorescent lighting of the restroom.

“We— We were just talking, you know… Girl talk!” Irene squeaks out in Taeyeon’s defense.

“Girl talk? Taeyeon was about to slap Soojin…”

Hyerin raises her voice authoritatively.

“I swear we—”

“Stop talking, Tiffany! You should never condone physical violence.”

Tiffany was about to defend Taeyeon too when Hyerin shut her up.

“She whisked water on us!”

“I said shut up. Water won’t kill you!”

Hyerin straight up screamed at Wendy.

“Touch my sister again and you’ll regret it, Taeyeon-ssi. I swear to God.”

Soojung threatens.

“What will you do then, Soojung?”

Taeyeon smiles devilishly, provoking your sister. Soojung scoffs out a tiny laugh and one side of her lips curls up in a sly smile.

“It’s not me you should be worried about, Taeyeon-ssi. You should be asking what Baekhyun Oppa will do to you and your family once you lay even a single finger on Soojin Eonni. You know, your father did questionable stuff in the company. Do you really want to lose your socialite status in our society?”

With the mention of Baekhyun’s name and her father’s awful activities, Taeyeon slowly backs up and her friends run to her side with apprehension.

“Now apologize to Soojin!”

Hyerin commanded them all.

“Sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry…”

The three girls pipe up one by one, Taeyeon still glaring deaths Soojin’s way as her nose flares.

“I don’t feel the need to apologize to anyone.”

Taeyeon starts walking away past you and Soojung and her three little ducklings slowly follow her like the ass kissers that they are. They are more of her minions than friends.

“By the way Tiffany-ssi, I’ll see you in my office next week for your appointment to discuss your latest infection, yeah?”

Hyerin beams her sickly sweet Doctor smile and winks at her. Tiffany’s jaw drops, making them stop at their track.

“Ew.”

Wendy grimaces at her friend and Tiffany pushes Wendy out of the door. Soojung was laughing hysterically when the four mean girls finally left.

“Oh my gosh, Doc! That was so awesome!”

Hyerin and Soojung high fives

~~~

“I mean how dare she say that I’m a lonely loser? Well, she didn’t exactly say that, but I’m sure that’s what she means.”

Hisako rants.

“Uh-huh…”

Chanyeol just bobs his head up and down as he listens to her.

“Yanmei is so straight-forward, she can hurt feelings sometimes.”

“I mean why would you be angry with her and Jongdae dating anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy for her?”

“I am happy for her, but it’s a long story, Chanyeol. You’ll get bored.”

Hisako was careful not to reveal anything regarding their secrets about Soojin and Baekhyun’s engagement.

“And you should be happy for your best friend unless you’re in love with her… Or worst, you’re in love with Jongdae.”

Hisako grimaces.

“Ew no, he’s so whiny and sleazy and corny at times. He’s not my type.”

Chanyeol laughs at her reaction regarding Jongdae.

“I think Mei-mei only said those things because she’s concerned about you.”

“But still… How dare she reminds me of Yifan, of all people. How dare she reminds me of all the pain that asshole made me go through? That giant mama’s boy, ugh! I swear Yanmei wants me—”

“Wait, who is Yifan?”

Chanyeol asks suddenly while Hisako was ranting some more.

“He—He’s my ex-boyfriend… Anyway, Yanmei never had a boyfriend before Jongdae, she just sleeps around a lot back in College and makes all the boys cry like babies at her feet. She doesn’t know what true love feels like.”

“Interesting… If Yifan was your true love, then why did he left?”

Hisako was lost for words.

“Well— He’s a… He’s a mama’s boy, his mama told him we don’t match. And apparently, I’m too Japanese for their family.”

Hisako is now fuming at the memory of her previous failed relationship. She really thought Yifan was the one for her, but clearly, he isn’t.

“I can be a mama’s boy too, sometimes. But I won’t leave a girlfriend just because my mom tells me to. Unless I don’t love her...”

“Please tell that to Yifan… Wait, so you’re saying he did not love me?”

Hisako frowns as she glares at Chanyeol.

“I never said that…”

“You!!!”

Chanyeol puts both hands up to the level of his head as if surrendering to something. He stood from beside her, Hisako bracing herself to run after him.

“Why?!?!”

Hisako screams as Chanyeol starts galloping about with his long-ass limbs and a big dumb smile on his face. He wasn’t running away fast, obviously wanting her to catch him.

“You’re gonna regret this, Park Chanyeol!!!”

Hisako laughs as she jumps up on Chanyeol’s back, her left arm snakes around his neck with a light chokehold and the other around his armpit, palms flat on his warm and hard chest. Chanyeol’s big hands grab her thighs securely so she won’t fall down.

“Sorry… Am I disturbing anything?”

Both Chanyeol and Hisako’s necks crane to the direction of the soft feminine voice and Chanyeol immediately panics. His hold on Hisako’s thighs tightening a little bit with anxiousness.

“J—Joy?”

Chanyeol stutters. Hisako can feel Chanyeol’s heart beating faster, sensing something is wrong.

“Who is she?”

Hisako whispers to Chanyeol’s ear, hopefully, the girl won’t hear her question as she’s at least 3 meters away from them.

“My e—ex…”

Chanyeol cranes his neck to whisper back to her with a break in his voice, their lips almost touching with the motion. Hisako wiggles her feet to let Chanyeol know that she wants to go down and he let her go instantly.

“You’re not disturbing anything…”

Hisako answers Joy’s query.

“Oh great.”

Joy beams with a sickly sweet smile, almost seemingly fake but Hisako wasn’t sure. Joy opens her purse and pulls out a pack of slim menthol cigarettes and a lighter.

“Want one?”

Joy offers.

“No, thanks. I don’t smoke.”

Hisako smiles as she refuses.

“Chanyeol-ssi?”

Joy motions for Chanyeol who was frozen solid beside Hisako.

“N—no. I don’t smoke anymore.”

Chanyeol refuses also. Joy walks closer to the both of them and lights one slims, puffing the smoke out above her head before speaking again.

“Hi, I’m Joy. I’m a model.”

Joy confidently introduces herself to Hisako as she gently laid down her purse on a table near her and reaches her free hand for Hisako to shake with.

“I’m Hisako, a lawyer. I’d give you my business card, but I don’t have one right now.”

Hisako smiles and counters Joy’s confidence, she grimaces minuscully when Hisako said she’s a lawyer. Joy immediately pulls her hand away from Hisako’s grip and clears her throat.

“So Chanyeol-ssi, it’s been a long time.”

Joy continues to puff smoke as she talks. It’s getting more and more difficult to breathe with the polluted air around the three of them.

“Yeah…”

Chanyeol mindlessly trails off.

“How are you lately?”

“I’m—I’m doing okay, I g—guess.”

Hisako peeks at Chanyeol and the color on his face seems gone, cold sweat runs down the side of his handsome face. Hisako, out of pity, slides her hand down to Chanyeol’s cold and trembling one and the ice that was Chanyeol seems to thaw when he felt Hisako’s warm skin on his.

“I’m sorry, Joy-ssi. Actually, you were disturbing us.”

Hisako lightly tugs Chanyeol’s hand, tiptoed a little bit and crashes her lips on Chanyeol’s plump puckers. Both of them closes their eyes shut when they heard Joy groan in annoyance. With a newfound boldness, Chanyeol reaches both his hands to cup Hisako’s face and deepen their kiss. Hisako slightly opens her mouth when he felt Chanyeol’s tongue swipes on to her upper lip, asking for permission to enter.

Without hesitation, Chanyeol invades Hisako’s mouth with his tongue, his left hand sliding down to her neck and the other snakes around her waist and his palms flat on the small of her back, pulling her closer to him.

“Chanyeol…”

Hisako carries to let out.

“Mmm…”

Chanyeol’s only response as he enjoys their osculation.

“I think she’s gone…”

Hisako manages to squeak out in between kisses. Chanyeol wakes up and plucks his lips away from hers with a loud pop.

“I—I’m sorry, I—got carried away a little bit…”

Chanyeol removes his hand from the side of Hisako’s neck and scratches the nape of his neck as he smiles sheepishly. His other hand gently continues tracing shapes on the small of Hisako’s back.

“It’s fine, Chanyeol.”

“Thank you, Hisako.”

“For what?”

Hisako cracks her neck on the side like a puppy.

“For saving me from an awkward situation.”

“Now you owe me a story. But save that for next time.”

Hisako smiles.

“Okay.”

Chanyeol smiles back.

~~~

It has been a few minutes already since Soojung excuses herself from beside you. Her boyfriend, Jongin, doesn’t seem to mind as he enjoys playing around and bantering with Sehun, Hyerin, and Kyungsoo. Sunmi, Yixing, and Junmyeon seem to be deep in conversation about their favorite books and you’re left there on your spot, on your own with your 8th glass of champagne for the night. You’re borderline smashed by now and you haven’t seen Baekhyun since he excused himself two hours ago. Taeyeon and her friends even harassed you awhile ago and you wanted to tell him all about it, but he was nowhere to be found.

You accidentally focus your hazy attention far away to the door of the banquet and saw Soojung and Mia’s back, facing and talking to Minseok from outside with… Seungmin?!?!?!?!

“Is… Is that… Oppa...”

Nobody seems to notice that you stood up from your chair. Your legs were shaking as you walk, your head spinning from all the alcohol you consumed in the last three hours. Before you can even reach them, the doors already closed behind them making you stop in your tracks.

You look everywhere now for Baekhyun, for your friends, for anyone for that matter. You need a hug. You need to cry. You need to confirm what you saw was real. Was it really your brother? He was wearing a black hoodie and a black beanie, obviously hiding from anyone’s eyes so you weren’t sure. You need someone to confirm what you saw because you can’t trust your clouded mind.

“Soojin-ssi, are you okay?”

A voice of a woman you don’t know asks you.

“I need my… I need my…”

“Soojin-ssi?”

Another woman asks. You can hear the concern in her voice.

“Soojin-ssi, do you need help?”

A man asks.

“I need my... Baek—”

You were about to say Baekhyun’s name when you saw him in one corner with… Taeyeon!!!

Taeyeon, that skank!

She’s cornering your fiancé— your man— in one corner. And he seems to… he seems like he’s enjoying it. What the hell!?!?!

You tried running for the opposite side, to run away from all the betrayal and disloyalty. This hurts more than scraping for knee on a pavement because you know, the drunken truth, is that you’re already in love with him. You’re already in love with Baekhyun.

But he’s obviously still hung up with his ex, Taeyeon, that mean girl who almost slapped you across the face if not for Soojung and Hyerin. And they’re probably laughing and talking about you, they’re planning on meeting up tonight after the party. After Baekhyun takes you home and pretends to kiss you as if he loves you as well, like the way he kissed you a while ago as you both danced to a beautiful love song.

Holding the skirt of your dress as you run, the last thing you remember before falling on the ground was Yixing screaming for your name as he stood up from his chair to catch you.

[hollyhawkins]

Starting year 3 - Summer task!

i haven’t posted a blog for a long while, however i have learnt that blogging is going to be a requirement for the PDP module so what better way is there to get into blogging again is to blog about one of the summer tasks. This task involved contacting a recently graduated student via social media and asking if they wouldn’t mind asking a series of questions about third year, hopefully enlightening me further on what to expect during the third and final year!

These are the questions i asked........

1) was going into year 3 a daunting thought?  answer: I definitely found the thought of going into year 3 really daunting, I think most people did to be honest!

2) at the end of year 2 and the start of year 3 was it clear to you whether you preferred fashion or textiles or both?  Answer: I think at the end of year 2 I had decided that I wanted to do both fashion and textiles in my last year, as I really enjoyed the process of seeing an entire project through, starting with the print and then constructing the garment.

3)Does third year come with more responsibilities and goes just as quickly as the previous years?  Answer: There are definitely usually more responsibilities with everything to plan such as the fashion show, the graduate show, and New Designers, however with the current COVID situation it did mean that our year group had a bit less to plan for, or had to change our plans. I think the third year goes even faster than the others, it really flies by!

4) can first and second semesters be differentiated, for example is one harder than the other or is one half quite experimental and the other is hands on practical?  Answer: I definitely think semester 1 and 2 are really different, semester 1 is very experimental, and you are trying to find your feet in your project, whereas when you get to semester 2 you basically start producing your collection straight away.

5)I have got the impression you need to know exactly what your topic is and where it’s going, is there any room or time for uncertainty in terms of working towards a brief requirement?  Answer: There is a lot of time for uncertainty and you definitely won't always know exactly where you are heading with your project, I think everyone has their doubts within their third year, in both semester 1 and semester 2, but in those times its really key to talk to friends and tutors as they will help you to push your project in the right direction. 

6)is the dissertation as stressful as it sounds?  Answer: I actually quite enjoyed writing my dissertation, it is a bit stressful but I think if you are organised with it all then you have nothing to worry about! My top tip is to give yourself goals for your dissertation days, goals of how many books to read/how many words to write for motivation, but don't beat yourself up if you don't achieve them, some days will be better than others! Also, do not put off writing, try and start as soon as possible it will make you feel much more in control. 

7) how did you find the PDP module?  Answer: I found the PDP module okay once I was in the routine of it, I mostly did my blogs in the evening once I had got back from Uni, or at the weekends so that it didn't distract me during my studio module hours. 

8) where did you get your fabrics from for your final outcomes?  Answer: I got my fabrics from Whaleys, and Contrado, both of those have really good student discounts so make sure you make the most of them!

9)roughly how much did your final collection cost you?  Answer:  Roughly my collection cost £400, but that does include fabric that I couldn't use due to the lockdown and not being able to access the print room.

10) was your industry mentor an experienced good support?  Answer:  My industry mentor was a good support, especially in recommending places to research that were relevant for my project, and for giving me feedback on my portfolio.

11) did you feel like you was supported by tutors throughout your final year especially through lockdown?  Answer:  I feel like I was really supported by tutors, even more so during lockdown. Make sure you make the most of them being there for advice and feedback as it really will help to push your project ideas even further.

12) how did you find writing your own briefs, how many of them did you have to write?  Answer: Writing a brief is a bit challenging, however you will get help doing this, I had to regularly update my brief throughout the 3rd year as my project developed, I think in the end I probably had about 4 versions of my brief.

13) what processes did you use in your final collection, for example digital work, textiles/printed work, construction?  Answer: In my final collection I digitally printed and screen-printed my textile designs, I naturally dyed fabrics, I produced digital prints and companion prints, and I constructed my garments too. 

14) are you happy with the skills and knowledge you have learnt throughout your time at uni?  Answer:  I am really happy with the skills and knowledge that I learnt throughout my time at Uni, looking back at where my skill set was when I started, and where I am now, the development is amazing.

15) what you originally thought would have been a ideal career, has this changed since graduating?  Answer: To be honest, when I started Uni I didn't really have an idea of my career direction, I chose to do the course because I wanted to develop my skills in something I have always been really passionate about, I think in the second year I realised that I didn't really want a high pressure design job, and would rather work in manufacturing garments/prints as I enjoyed the screen-printing and construction more than the design process. 

16) do you have any advice in how to keep focused and relatively calm during year three?  Answer: My advice is to have a really solid schedule, and plan each and every day. At the start of each week I would write myself a list of goals. Also, once I had finished working for the day, I would write myself a list of goals for the next day, so that as soon as I started in the morning, I knew exactly what to start on. Basically, lists will be your best friend! Also, ensure that you are giving yourself regular breaks, and some days off. It is very easy to feel guilty for having time off but that time away from your project definitely gives you some clarity, and will mean you are much more productive on the days you are working. 

17) finally, is there any tips you could give me for surviving year three?  Answer: My tips for surviving year 3 are to try and enjoy it as much as you can, because it really does go so fast. I would also say make the most of the freedom, and really have fun with it, it is your chance to do everything you love and be really experimental. Don't be too harsh on yourself, some days everything will go wrong, but make sure you document the issues because problem solving is a really important skill to show. Also, make the most of the tutors and your friends, their support really does make all of the difference on the days where you are struggling!

[uhh-the-green-thing]

Quiet Desperations - Part Two (Becca x MC-Jey-)

Becca comes to terms with her feelings for Jey.

Here, it is, part two. I'm sorry it took so long, uni got in the way of e v e r y t h i n g. Anyway, here's part one, in case you guys want a refresher or something: https://uhh-the-green-thing.tumblr.com/post/165179246119/quiet-desperations-part-one-becca-x-mc-jey

Word of warning: this is a long read. I mean, it feels like one? I kinda went nuts on this, hahaha. Other than that, enjoy! And please please please, leave some comments, good or bad, I will surely appreciate it.

AND THANKS FOR 300 FOLLOWERS OMG I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Becca had been feeling lethargic the whole day, her ruminations clouding her mood. She couldn't socialize with anyone in the house, much less Jey, so she just decided to lock herself up in her room to contemplate.

She was well aware of the changes in Jey's actions toward her—she kissed her, touched her, and looked at her differently now, with much more warmth and ardor, much more passion and adoration. It was then that she knew Jey was beginning to take whatever they had between them seriously.

Dread filled up her senses; Becca had to address her feelings sooner than she thought.

Jey came to her room later that night with a concerned look on her face, asking what was wrong and how she could help. Of course she'd ask what's up, Becca thought. Always the problem solver, this girl.

Becca kept her replies guarded, only stating that she can't answer Jey's questions at the moment and it was not something she should worry about. She knew Jey wouldn't be convinced by that kind of response, a raised eyebrow at her proving her right. With a sigh, she went and walked Jey to her door.

"Wait, wait." Jey spun around midway, taking Becca's hand in hers before swallowing lightly, assessing the melancholic beauty before her.

"I won't force you to tell me," Jey assured, giving Becca a gentle, understanding smile. "But let me try to cheer you up, at least. Just for tonight."

"Jey, I..." Becca hesitated. "I don't think I--I'm just not in the mood tonight," Becca sighed, furrowing her eyebrows. Spending time with Jey would definitely not be the best idea right now. If only she knew she's the god damn reason why I'm feeling like a mess today.

"Just hear me out," Jey said, giving Becca's hand a soft squeeze. Jey insisted on bringing her to a bar of some sort, located somewhere on the outskirts of town, but Becca was skeptical.

"Come ooon," Jey drawled. "It's a great place. You've been mopey all day, locked up here in your room. It would do you good to spend some time outside." Nope. "With me." Definitely nope. "I promise this'll lighten your mood." I don't think so. "And I've been wanting to bring you there for some time now..." Jey trailed off. Huh.

Even though Jey's last sentence roused her interest, Becca still wasn't convinced. But with a final "Please?" and a puppy face from the woman, she gave in, rolling her eyes and playfully shoving Jey's head aside, prompting a laugh out of her.

"Ugh, fine. You and your stupid puppy face," Becca grumbled, running a hand through her hair.

"You know you love it," Jey replied and leaned over to give Becca a quick peck on her lips.

I, Becca thought, am an idiot.

///

They had taken a cab, eventually pulling to a stop outside of an old, slightly worn down, brick building, and slow music playing indoors could be heard on the street. The bar seemed pretty sketchy from the outside: a red neon sign with a few letters unlit was placed above the entrance and a few patrons loitered out front, some of them smoking cigarettes.

With a reassuring smile, Jey gently hooked an arm around Becca's waist and led her through the doors.

The inside was pretty small, with only a few booths and tables. People ordered drinks and lounged around at the bar on the other side of the room and a band performed live on a tiny stage while couples danced in front of them, drowning the quiet murmur of people's conversations in slow rock and filling the place up with an insouciant, romantic vibe.

"How did you even find this place?" Becca asked, surprised at how cozy the place was, a stark contrast from its rather shady exterior.

"Zack and I were feeling adventurous one night, so we drove and drove around town until we found this place. We were drawn to the retro music," Jey replied, walking the both of them over to the seats. "It's kind of our little secret, so don't tell anyone about it just yet," she added, winking.

Becca followed Jey to a booth, scooting over to the seat opposite the brunette. She let Jey order for the both of them, still not in the right mindset to think or do anything at the moment. Jey came back later with a smile plastered on her face, holding a small tray with a serving of chocolate covered pretzels and two rocks glasses containing iced, layered cocktails. She set a glass in front of Becca, the liquids inside slowly blending together, creating marble-like swirls of cream and liqueur.

A rich, white, creamy liquid floated atop a dark alcohol, slowly seeping through its dark layers. It smelled sweet, with hints of coffee... and vodka. Becca looked at Jey expectantly, as though she was waiting for her to explain what she would be drinking.

"White Russian," Jey stated, sitting down on the booth.

Becca cocked an eyebrow. "So. You brought me to a bar to have... dessert?"

"Ha ha... well, yeah, kind of," Jey admitted, chuckling lightly. "A delicious alcoholic dessert. Can be dangerous too, if you know what I mean. Figured you'd need something sweet with an edge since you've been down in the dumps today."

Becca hummed in response. "Well, thanks for looking out for me."

"Of course. Somebody has to, right?" Jey teased, her playful, lilting tone drawing a smile and a playful glare out of Becca.

"Shut up," Becca managed. She took a sip from her glass, savoring the sweet blend of flavors that danced on her tongue.

Jey's chuckle was musical. "Okay, okay." Jey reached across the table, taking Becca's hand in hers. "Just teasing. Look, you're smiling already."

She noticed Becca set her gaze on their linked hands, her smile fading away as a thoughtful look dawned on her face. Jey frowned a little at Becca's sudden shift of mood and studied the woman in front of her, searching for any signs of something that would indicate what she was feeling.

She was about to console her, but Becca already looked so deep in thought. Like a skittish bird, it felt like she would take flight at the slightest provocation, so Jey tarried and bit back whatever words she planned to say. She endured the stretch of silence and patiently waited for Becca to gather what seemed like her roiling thoughts. Jey believed she would be confided in when Becca was ready—she knew Becca already trusted her enough. With an exhale, Jey absentmindedly ran her thumb in circles across Becca's skin and focused on finishing her drink.

They were quiet for a few more moments, neither of them wanting to break the silence. Becca stole a glance at Jey, who was now helping herself to some pretzels. She breathed a soft sigh of relief, grateful that Jey didn't press her for answers; she knew Jey had a lot of questions on her mind.

Becca looked down and her shoulders slumped as her thoughts raced once again, almost searing in her mind. Committing to something she wasn’t certain of felt dishonest—even if her affections for Jey seemed to be one of the few things that held any sort of clarity for her these days. She had no idea if that would last, if they would last, if they do decide to make things official.

To be completely truthful, she was afraid. She'd been made aware of how ephemeral things were, and her parents' divorce was a testimony to that. But disappointing Jey was the last thing she wanted, especially after all they’d both shared…

Her stomach dropped, and she hated that even then, even after all they'd both been through, that she still didn't know.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Jey suddenly stood up, a look of determination on her face. Jey grabbed Becca's hand, trying to pull her out of the booth and onto the stage across them.

"Wh--hey, what the hell?" Becca exclaimed in protest. She pulled her hand back, halting Jey in her footsteps. Jey whirled around and stared at Becca with a look of resolve peppered with weariness.

"Come on, let's dance. I brought you here to have a good time, not to brood," Jey deadpanned.

"I am not brooding."

"Then what are you doing? Having a staring contest with the table?"

Becca glared at Jey in defiance. They still held each other's hands but stood a few feet apart, their arms awkwardly suspended in the air.

Jey took a deep, calming breath to ease her growing frustration and schooled her features into a composed expression. She walked over to Becca and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear with her other hand. "Please? It'll hopefully take your mind off of whatever you're thinking."

"Well, you know, you could've asked me properly instead of yanking me out of the booth," Becca replied, irritation tainting her voice.

Jey laughed a little, making Becca roll her eyes. She affectionately kissed Becca's cheek reapeatedly and let out a flippant apology, reasoning again with Becca afterwards. After much persuasion (and another damn puppy face) from Jey, Becca finally agreed to a dance—one dance, Becca emphasized, much to Jey's obvious delight.

With a proud smile, Jey took Becca by the hand and led them over to the stage just as the band started playing a 50s song with a series of strums from the bass and some twangs and slides from a lap steel guitar. Becca let herself be practically dragged over to the stage as she watched Jey, making a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh and shook her head in amusement.

As they reached the stage, Jey's hands made their way down and rested on the curve of Becca's hip, and Becca's rested on Jey's shoulders. Slow instrumental rock filled the room and they began to sway gently to the music, Jey's adoring eyes never leaving Becca's. Jey gradually pulled Becca closer and closer to her until her arms wrapped around Becca's waist and Becca's wrapped around her neck, their foreheads resting against each other.

Becca had her eyes closed as if purposely avoiding Jey's gaze, a dreary look spreading across her face. Jey took a deep breath. Okay, now this was getting really frustrating. Becca's shifting moods were getting emotionally exhausting, and she was getting really worried; what was it that was bothering Becca so badly?

"What's wrong, Becca?" Jey finally asked softly, her tone imploring. Jey's quiet voice made Becca open her eyes slowly, feeling her heart clench at the sincerity of Jey's words. She reluctantly looked at Jey and was met with searching eyes, darting all around her face, trying to read her, trying to decipher her, and Becca resisted the urge to shield herself and hide from that piercing gaze that she usually loved. Becca looked down on the floor, the room tilting and spinning around her, making her hold on Jey grow tighter. Why did Jey have to pull her in so close? She couldn't breathe properly.

"Becca..." Jey pulled away a little, bringing her hand up and cupping Becca's cheek. "Just... try to forget about whatever you're thinking and focus on us tonight. Please? Please just try," Jey pleaded.

Becca's eyes fluttered shut when a thumb grazed over her cheek. She knew Jey was having a hard time with her. But she never meant to cause her trouble with her stupid contemplations and fears... She took a few breaths to steady herself and steeled her nerves, refusing to hide anymore. Her gaze leveled with Jey's and Becca suddenly found herself at a loss for words; Jey was holding her with something... no, some things locked behind her eyes—concern, desperation, inexpugnable care, love, complete utter devotion... and home. She saw home in Jey's eyes. Their eyes were locked on one another and Becca had never felt so overcome with emotion, all her affections welling up her chest, and she was suddenly filled with an almost painful desire to kiss the woman in front of her, an eagerness she has never experienced before.

The soft lips, less than a foot away, beckoned her.

"Make me forget." Becca said at last.

Jey seemed to read her mind for she was impetuously pulled into a deep, passionate kiss, Jey's arms wrapping around her tightly, holding Becca impossibly close to Jey. The bold touch caused Becca's breath to hitch and her lips to tremble, and she cradled Jey's head in her grasp, surrendering herself into Jey's passion, letting it all take control over them.

The music faded. The people faded. All her worries seemed to dissipate, all her reasons to run away she couldn't remember, and all that suddenly mattered was that moment, Jey's ardent lips moving against hers, and their fire branding the both of them. PDA be damned.

Jey relented at last, loosening her hold on Becca and slowing the kiss until their lips only rested against each other. She eventually kissed Becca's cheek and pulled back a fraction, their lips brushing gently.

Becca's head was spinning and her heart bounded in her chest. She hadn't recalled a kiss of that magnitude before. She closed her eyes when she felt Jey rest her chin on her shoulder and hold her close, gentle arms engulfing her, rubbing her back in soothing motions and swaying again to the music. Becca felt so safe and secure in her hold, like nothing could hurt her, like she's home. She snuggled closer to Jey, her rattling heart now calm and content. She fits me, Becca thought, feeling Jey's warmth and marveling at how right everything felt.

Jey spoke softly after a few moments. "Better?" she asked.

Becca smiled contentedly, drawing back to give Jey's cheek a quick kiss. "Much."

Maybe she didn't have to be scared. Maybe she didn't have to worry about anything. Maybe there really wasn't anything to worry about or be scared of in the first place. Maybe she just had to take things one step at a time, as hard as it could be.

She cast Jey a thankful smile, and Jey returned it with a gentle smile of her own. Becca met Jey's eyes, and saw a promise of a future in them, the willingness to make things work. She saw home...

It wasn't going to be certain, not the way she so desperately wanted, but Becca knew she had to try—to try and return the love that Jey deserved, that they both deserved. For Jey's sake and for her own. There was nobody else she'd rather let in the same way. Nobody else she could imagine facing the future with. She saw no reason to refuse Jey's love any longer.

It felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Becca straightened her back and gave herself a nod of assent, resolute. She was about to say something, but Jey placed a finger on her lips, making her words die in her mouth.

"Shh. Let's just dance, okay?" Jey smiled and rested their foreheads together.

The corners of Becca's mouth curled into a tiny smile. "Okay."

The rumble of thunder pulled Becca back into the present.

I'm... sorry if it was boring. This is the longest piece I've ever written. But yeah, I would really appreciate your guys’ thoughts on this.

Oh, and by the way, the 50s song they danced to was Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny. One of the most iconic slow dance songs in my opinion, hehe.

PART 3 SOON! 😊

[dearmrsawyer]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

I was tagged by @akai-coat and @imlouisaf thankyou!!

1. List of works published this year:

My fic round-up is here :)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I’m definitely most proud of Wear Your Fur, my nouis wolvesfest fic. It sort of came together in my head really quickly and when i wrote it, it just fell out of me. I usually spend a really long time writing my fics, longer than their word counts would suggest. Idk why, i’m just like that. But Wear Your Fur was written in under a month, i wrote every single day for a few consecutive weeks and it was all out there. It felt like such a clear story to tell, and even before i went back and fixed it up, i was so happy with it. It just did all the things i wanted it to do, its all the thing i want when i go looking for wolf fics, and its kind of exciting when you achieve something that’s kind of your ideal scenario, you know? And it wasn’t even achieved through rigorous re-working and re-writing. It was all there in the draft, it just needed a tidy. It was also my first nouis fic and i was nervous about that but i ended up loving the feeling of writing them. 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I mean, i’m happy with everything i wrote this year, but i guess if i gotta pick one i’ll go with part 2 of my nouis proposal series, The One Where Everything Goes Wrong. I don’t dislike it or anything but it prob could’ve been better, had i more knowledge of babies in general and what to do in that situation. It’s still a bit of fun though!

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

There are a lot of little interactions between Harry and Louis in We Could Live This Life Forever that i love, but i think this is one of my favourites. Sometimes you just capture a moment just the way you want to.

He goes back into the hall, leaving everyone behind. He can hear the phone dial out and he turns back to the nursery door. It’s quiet on the other side, but Harry can see a break in the line of light underneath the door and knows Louis is standing right there.

He leans his head against the doorframe. “Louis, are you okay?”

“Is she calling them?”

Harry can hear Aunt Sophie’s hushed but urgent tone from the kitchen, punctuated by James’ unrest. He takes a deep breath, throat thick. “Yeah.”

Louis doesn’t say anything. When Harry strains his ears he hears quickening breaths through the door, and crowds closer in solidarity.

“Why are you here, Louis?”

It isn’t what he’d been planning to say but it comes out without his permission. Louis’ breath catches.

“Came back to try and get you to forgive me.” His tone is rueful. “I heard yelling, thought I heard you, too, so I climbed in the window.”

Harry lets out a watery, monosyllabic laugh.

There’s one deep, harsh breath that sounds like its pressed right into the doorjamb. “I… I don’t want to go back.”

Harry wishes he could just reach out and take Louis’ hand the way Louis had done so many times. Wishes that in Louis’ moment of need, he could be the comfort Harry has come to know. He taps his fingernail lightly on the door.

“I’m going to help you.”

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

Ohh all the comments i receive matter to me a lot? I love the ones i receive on ao3, but i look at a lot of tags people add to my fic posts on tumblr and they make me really happy too. I think Sav’s comment on Wear Your Fur was one of my stand outs for the year. Coming from her, i was in awe. 

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Just after posting my wolvesfest fic! Once i was done with it i went back to working on a WIP that i’m still working on. I’m having issues with it i still haven’t solved. It got put on the back burner for another WIP so writing got easier then, but that particular fic has been difficult to work on. Sometimes you know things would be better written by someone else, but you know no one else is gonna do it so you have to find a way to do it yourself. I’m still in the process of working it out.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Hmm maybe Freddie? He’s a core element in my nouis proposal series, but i’m not really comfortable writing kids because i know nothing about them or their care. Life was made easier by the fact that as a baby, Freddie’s expressions and personality were pretty limited. As time goes by, it becomes clearer that everytime i write Freddie i do not age him up according to reality. He’s always gonna very little so i don’t need to figure out how to write a child lol.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think i just followed the natural progression of growth that anyone follows when they continue writing. Everything gets incrementally better as you write more (hopefully), so i’m just trying to do that. Gradual improvement fic by fic. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I would like to continue that same trajectory of growth, but maybe also get comfortable writing characters outside OT5. Even within OT5, there are some voices i really struggle to capture, and branching outside of them was too much to take on thus far. But maybe that’s something i can get better at next year! I like keeping the cast of my fics small, but it’d be fun to get some variety on who i can write. 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

For the first time since uni, i really felt like i’m part of a community of writers this past year. Its been a long time since i had people to talk to about ideas or current projects, whose work i read and also read mine, people to sort of speculate back and forth about how things would play out, or what would be fun to write. I feel a lot less alone in that and it really does make it more exciting/rewarding. @imlouisaf and @1000-directions in particular have been part of that for me. 

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Hmm, my love for Disney is pretty clear in my decision to write a Lady and the Tramp AU lol. My feelings about Louis after reading the Observer interview manifested in the nouis drabble i wrote about Niall reacting to it. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Justine said exactly what i would’ve said here, and that’s to try writing by hand if you find you’re having a hard time making progress. Writing was v slow at the beginning of the year but after we started talking i started writing by hand, and i did my entire first draft of Wear Your Fur by hand. It forces you to move forward, you can’t go back and fix things. It also helps my editing process to type it up, i can add notes as i go along and leave marks that i need to come back to and sort out. So if you feel like you’re stuck, i’d recommend trying it!

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Hopefully i can finally work through my issues with my Nouis Killjoys AU because i want it to be good and i want it to be done.

I’ve got Pokemon AU coming up for rarepair.

I’ve got more ideas waiting for me. I have a feeling once these two are done i’m going to try my Being Human AU idea next. I feel most excited about that one.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read.

I’ve love to hear from @niallspringsteen!

[castawxayaway]

half hearted: part seven (final)

this is it then, a little series that is now complete. i’m actually relieved to have finished this in time before I go to uni (in two days) which is equally exciting as it is incredibly terrifying. but do not worry, I will still be writing as this blog keeps me grounded- to the anon who sent a request it will be up soon, I can promise you that. 

thank you for all of the support with this series, it has been incredibly fun to write and talk to readers who engage with it. hopefully I’ll have more series at some point, but who knows. 

as always, I hope that you’re all doing better than average, and enjoy :)

one / two /three / four / five  / six / seven

collection of writing

Waking up I stare at my ceiling, the swirls and patterns that my mind fathoms. It’s already been a month without him here, without the bright eyes that introduce me to a new day rather than the blaring sunrise. I get to see him through a screen rather than on the other end of a line, but those videos, the pictures I see aren’t centred and made for me. All of the clips I see of him and his bandmates are for everyone else, for the fans, not those close to them. 

Rolling out of bed the wooden floorboards creaked, my feet froze at the touch of the invisible ice that lined the laminated sheets. No more were the mornings of a soft touch beneath my feet where our clothes lay carelessly. I didn’t love my sunrises like I once did, as now he can only see them with me through a screen, only when he has a spare minute- which barely occurs. 

My balcony serves as a reminder to me of what could’ve been, the limited time we had together. When I sit out there now I just feel like he described it, a bubble. I’m stuck in a bubble being preserved, too perfectly kept, almost trapped unable to go further. Yet he is everywhere, now I acknowledge his music if it plays in a shop, but I’ve stopped messaging him everytime it happens, there are better things to discuss. 

As I get ready it’s the same as always, my mundane lifestyle that never changes, never alters- just like he implied. Sitting in the kitchen Myla wanders in, greeting me as always, yet today I just can’t bother. “Okay,” A long sigh follows her sentence as she leans on the counter whilst I remain seated by the small window, opting for a disclosed sunrise rather than full view. “I know, you miss him. But you can’t wallow forever. We’ve been back to uni studying for two weeks already and all you do is go then come straight back.” She throws her arms in the air, a frustrated look marking her eyes. “What happened to the days where you just went around, explored new places? Or when you sat in the park reading a book?” Her list only went on, all of the things I love to do, loved.

I sit in silence, taking all of her yet it washes over me, none of it truly sinking in. “Look I don’t know.” The words blurt out of my mouth before my brain can process them and Myla simply stands back and crosses her arms, waiting to hear what I’ll say. “Dan isn’t like anyone else, and you know that.” I take a deep breath, unsure where else this’ll lead to, what parts of my mind will be displayed for her to see. “We had something and now it’s gone. I can talk to him on the phone, have the odd face to face chat, but he’s always busy, he is too tired or it is too loud to hear.” Shaking my head the frustration rises to the surface, my eyes begin to glaze over. “I want to tell him how I feel, but it just doesn’t feel right. The perfect moment hasn’t come up, all that looms when I want to is awkward silence, and then he has to go. 

“There will be a moment,” She sits next to me, wrapping her arm around me tightly. “it just might take a bit longer than we both had anticipated.” 

Before I have the chance to respond the doorbell rings, we glance at each other, no visitors due or expected. I raise an eyebrow to her as I stand up and near the door. With each step my heart beats faster until I’m in the hallway, the large blank door staring me down. As I reach for the door handle my hand shakes uncontrollably, I take a deep breath and shut my eyes as I open it, hoping that it’ll be him on the other side. That through multiple panels of stained wood would be the person I’d been longing to see, who would know what to do, what to say. 

But it’s not him. A man wearing red holding a box, my name labelled on top with our address. “Sign here please?” He passed me the small machine and I scribbled across it, trying to hide how disheartened I feel as he passes me the box, yet it feels empty. 

Closing the door I hold the box at a distance as if it were a bomb. I walk through to my room and sit down on my bed with it in front of me. Myla peers her head around, glancing to see the box. “What did you order?” She asks, pushing her hair back as it blocks her view. 

I shrug my shoulders, “I can’t remember ordering anything.” As I reach over for a pair of scissors covering my desk Mylas phone begins to ring. She mouths an apology as she shuts my door, starting a conversation with someone in another room whilst I sit in silence as the box screams with questions, with curiosity as to what is inside. 

Cutting it open inside sits an envelope, sealed. As I turn it over my name is written neatly, too neatly to and the way it is written is unknown, it’s from a stranger as opposed to a friend back home. Opening the envelope I tear the entire backing and leaving it to one side as a piece of paper is folded inside along with a bulk of photos. I place the photos that remain hidden from me to one side as I unfold the letter, my eyes darting to see who has signed it. 

Once I see who it is my heart drops into my stomach, resting further down as there is no hope to drag it back to where it belongs. No one has ever written me a letter, no one does such a thing unless it is serious. The letters I get are full of misery, the mundane bills I have to pay or possible insurance that I should claim. Yet this was entirely different. Before I read the entire thing my eyes scanned his words, how it was messily written, full of smudges and some parts crossed out and replaced like an essay I’d write in an exam. I can tell he rushed it, but maybe there is a reason why. 

It’s been a month or so since I was with you, when I met you- how the days drag without you. When I left to come and see you my mates told me to be careful, that I shouldn’t get my hopes up about you, but I couldn’t help myself. You were the girl I’d spent a year talking to, I didn’t date anyone else although you did for a while- no problem with that by the way, I’m glad you told me. But I never responded to those who pined over me like I did for you, I didn’t even know you, I just knew I didn’t want to meet anyone else. 

When I met you, when I arrived in the city I darted straight to the park. I was out of breath, unbelievably exhausted from a ten hour flight, but I had to meet you. We had gone through too much to miss the opportunity and when I saw you there, how you slowly lifted your head up my heart was resting in my mouth. You were so beautiful, I’d never seen beauty like yours, and call me cheesy, but I didn’t want to let you go. It had been ten minutes into it when I knew for certain, that was when I knew I’d need to talk to you, tell you about the band. 

A few nights in- when I was sleeping on your lumpy mattress I woke up and got some water. That night I had a chat to Myla who knew who I was and about the band from her ex, she told me to make sure you didn’t get hurt because of it, and I promised her, and I’ll promise you- I will never hurt you. Never. 

The days we spent together were like no others I’ve had. I’ve been able to travel and perform all over the world with my closest friends, with people I’ve grown to know and seen so many amazing sights and experienced unique opportunities with, yet with you it was like nothing I’d seen. With you I wasn’t laughing and joking with my mates, there was more meaning behind it. I wasn’t just using my time before shows or sightseeing before another festival, instead I was seeing what you love, the things that mattered to you. 

Even though we had only a week together I knew after I played for you that this was it, that to me you were the person I want to be with- wholeheartedly. Attached to the letter if this got delivered correctly are a series of photos that you haven’t seen before, I want you to remember our week together that I cannot forget. I can’t wait until we can spend times like that together more, when we don’t have to wait for the next break in tour or when you’re done studying. I long for the lie ins with you when you are asleep and drool down across your chin, or when you drink tea on the balcony unaware of how beautiful you are. The sound of your laughter down the phone isn’t the same, it doesn’t justify how full of life it is in person. 

I’m already counting down the weeks, the months until we can be together again, and I promise you, with all my heart we will see each other again. Maybe it won’t be sitting on your balcony, maybe it won’t be in the outskirts of London at mine. Perhaps it’ll be in some hotel room in Portland, who knows. We’ll make it work, as I haven’t had someone in my life like you before, and I doubt anyone could live up to you. 

Until then, Dan x 

Reading over his words again I dotted the paper with my tears, some of the words blurring as the ink spreads out, yet I sniff at it, at the words he’s written for me, only me. I’m the only one who has gotten this letter, the one person that this letter was written for unlike anything he posts online. On his social media, on that version of his life I do not exist, I’m just a nobody who sees what he posts. He sees what I post, but he can’t like it. Fans can be rapid, they’ll pick anything up and speculate what it all means, and if they’re correct it’ll end anything good we have. 

Sniffing loudly I place the letter down besides me as I pick the photos up and turn them around, the first one making me laugh quietly.  I want you to remember our week together that I cannot forget. It was of me in the park, leaves all around me as I threw them up into the air. Only through some of them you can make out my over joyful expression at the Autumnal state the park was in. The next photo was in the secret cafe, specifically on the steps outside, he had turned his phone to face him, smiling brightly up close with the sign in and my back in the background of the photo. His blue eyes contrasting the muted green of the brickwork, the eyes and smile I haven’t seen like this in far too long. 

After those few are ones of me looking at the shop windows, the pastries I fawned over. Me cooking dinner in the kitchen in one of his tops, another of me stretching in bed which contrasts to me curled up next to him, wrapped in an umteen amount of blankets. Just looking at the picture of us in bed makes me feel cosy, the space where I’m sat now being where we would’ve laid down for the night. Following those were of the sunrise and sunsets we saw, our feet being the only thing in the shot. Yet as I flipped through I didn’t want them to end, but now I’m on the final four. 

Four photos of our time together, the time he doesn’t want us to ever forget. The fourth picture made my heart warm, it was of me in a way I’ve never seen myself. I was leaning against my railing on the balcony, the sun just rising and it glows around my silhouette, capturing the lose hairs on my head and the curves of my body. The next was me with half of my pastry left, a cup of tea in hand as I keep it tightly wrapped in my grip, thriving on the warmth it gave. 

Two left. 

Our second to last photo, my eyes begin to blur like his phone always did when he tried taking a selfie. It was our first selfie together, I had to stand on my tiptoes, he said he wanted to capture my smile so he made me laugh, I never saw it in mid shot, but it shows how much fun we were having, how content we felt together. 

Then it was the last one, the last photo of them all. Blinking rapidly I took a few deep breaths, but they hitched in my throat as I saw it. It was us, on our bench, hand in hand smiling like a couple. He saw a couple go by, asking them to take our photo, they commented on how they met when they were younger than us and have been together ever since. It was perfect, it captured the pure love, the heart and sweetness of us together. 

Placing it down with the others he captured it all, he had taken all of the best bits and compiled them into under thirty photos and a heartfelt letter. My heart slowly began to lift itself back up, rising to its spot where it belongs, but nevertheless it felt heavy as if it had been filled with the tears that rushed down my cheeks. I take the photo of us together and walk over to my desk, picking up an empty frame and putting it in there. 

Looking at the framed photo of us next to my balcony I smiled thinking over the words he wrote. Someday, someday we'll meet again. 

*six months later*

Walking out of my room I grab my bag that hangs on the coat hanger, gone are our thick coats and burgundy scarves and are replaced by the sunglasses and light jackets. Myla peeps her head around from her room as she yawns loudly, unable to comprehend how I’m already going out for the day. “It’s so early.” She moans to me as she rubs her eyes. Slipping my jacket on I pull my hair out from my dress and head towards the door. 

“Some of us have better things to do rather than sleeping with Max all day, Myla.” I joke as I walk out, shutting the door before she has the opportunity to retort and simply go back to bed with her boyfriend. 

As I rush down the stairs and out of the door from our building the gentle breeze of a Spring morning is inviting. The days when I’d never want to leave my blankets, the cups of hot tea that called my name are replaced with upbeat starts as warmth shines onto my floorboards making my feet relax rather than tense. Now I can wear dresses rather than jeans, I can hide my eyes, hide the pain that sometimes lingers as I walk down the street rather than have it all on display. 

Above me I can see blossom forming on the branches of trees, the soft pink brings a smile to my face as I pass the same shops with newer more fitting displays. All of them are advertising with flowers, with bright colours that draw attention as opposed to warmth in autumnal shades they opt for pastels, an aesthetics dream. 

Nearing the same serine place I wear a brighter smile, one of comfort as I walk through the old fashioned gates where people pass through, children giggle at the petals that mark the pavements covering the cemented gum from those long ago. I walk around the perimeter of the park, taking my time to stroll around and capture it all, remember all of it as I know what is coming, the time to move on elsewhere. 

Myla has Max, we are both finishing our final year at University and I knew this place wasn’t going to be my home forever, but now it’s come so soon. I’ve had a lot of memories here, so many kept close to my heart including blue eyes. I walk over to my bench, how it is always empty waiting for me as if no one else can sit there, or as if they know I’m coming so they leave, ensure it’s vacant for the girl who admires the scenery unlike the others of her own age. 

Leaning back on the bench I place my bag down and cross my leg over the other one and pulling my book from my bag. I flip through the pages until I get to the right page, seeing my unique bookmark there making me smile. Taking the picture of the selfie he took outside the secret cafe I knew it would be a way to brighten me up whenever I felt down, or lonely. In the park, on this bench it feels as if he is here with me, that he could be again someday. 

I sit quietly and read my book, fully absorbing the vivid details written as children play in the background. In my foreground I hear mumbles of conversations and the kicking of stones along with the dust that rises with them, I see some blossom petals fall around me delicately, unlike leaves in the Autumn. Here I can feel secure, it can give me a space to think, reflect. I can plan on where I’ll go, where I might visit first, what is to come and how I can make the most of all of these possibilities. 

Keeping my head lowered and my sunglasses rest on the top of my head I barely notice someone walking my way. Out of the corner of my eye I see a pair of shoes, black fabric covered in the dust from the stones along the pathway stop by me. A gentle tap on my shoulder follows as I fold the top corner of the page and lift my head up to see whoever it may be. 

As I look up my breath falters, a half smile forms on my face realising who it is. He pushes back the now longer mess of brown hair back out of his face as he lifts his sunglasses off of his face, revealing the gaze I’ve longed to see for too long. His eyes are brighter now, or they seem to be in the Spring morning. The paler shades of blue overlap, outshine the deeper more night like colours as the day shines bright, they remain as full of life as they did when we first met. 

His lips rise into a smile, those dimples hidden by a thicker more coarse beard now much to my surprise. I pick up the photo and slot it into my book, closing it and placing it back into my bag and facing him, a nostalgic look in his eyes as he focuses on my bag- on the photo he saw. 

Our eyes remain locked as he walks past me, sitting down next to me. We both turn to face each other, our hands hesitant to rest in each others. I scan his eyes, the same emotions, the pure intent still looms in his eyes, intertwining between the shades of blue and the feelings that flicker as he focuses on me. In this moment we both know as our eyes cast down to our hands, the slow movements of us moving our fingertips together until our hands remain tightly closed together. 

In this moment words weren’t needed, we both knew with a single glance. “Hi Dan.” I chuckle, unsure what else I could say. My smile, like his doesn’t shift, it remains locked into place and is unique for him, as is the look in my eyes, the heart that I’m channeling and is being reciprocated. 

Budging closer he mumbles my name, something I’ve missed hearing in person. It doesn’t matter how many pixelated times we talk, how we celebrated Christmas in different time zones and spoke on the phone almost everyday. We couldn’t feel each other like this, he couldn’t feel how my hands are still slightly cold whilst his remain clammy. I wasn’t able to see the few and far freckles on his face and how thick his beard has become. 

Closing my eyes I rest my head on his shoulder, his hand disconnecting from mine as he lifts it up and wraps it around me, pulling me closer. Listening to the sound of his breathing, the whispers of the breeze and the laughter of children, it all feels better, it is comforting, it is as if nothing has changed.