#unfortunately the other bands I like are either dead or live in another country

[haliaiii]

Gonna go see panchiko today!! super excited, I've never been to a concert before

[vivisextion]

I first saw Slipknot at age 14.

No one knows how I managed it. I'm not sure I even remember. These days, you have to be 16 or 18 to get into Standing areas. I do know I had to buy tickets on the phone, back in the old days (2005, that is). A singular ticket, too - none of my friends, not even the classmate who had gone with me to see Linkin Park the year before, was that into Slipknot.

But I HAD to see them. This was the Subliminal Verses tour cycle, and Vol. 3 was my first and favourite Slipknot album, even to this day. It's the reliable old warm blanket for my soul whenever I need it. It's on right now, as I write this.

My memory isn't that good, but luckily I unearthed a livejournal (livejournal!) diary entry about the event I made the next day.

August 16, 2005. I went right after school. I went to a very conservative Anglican secondary school, too. I tried not to get caught in the bathroom, as I coloured my nails black with permanent marker (I know, don't laugh) and changed into my standard metalhead baby outfit - Slipknot band shirt, black cargo shorts, and my pride and joy: steel-toe boots I somehow managed to cajole my parents into letting me own.

I caught the bus to the open-air war memorial park where the gig was going to be. I got there at 4pm, 4 hours early. A couple other maggots were already hanging around. I found myself surrounded by tombstones, and I read them all. It was the middle of the Hungry Ghost Festival, too - a very fitting time for Slipknot to pay a visit to this godforsaken hellhole of a small town I lived in. (Especially given the paranormal circumstances surrounding the making of Vol. 3.)

While I wandered around the venue (no security or sound guys were around at all), I spotted two white vans pull up to the stage, in the middle of a clearing. It was them! I spotted Joey and missed him by a hair's breadth. I was quickly ushered behind the stone archway entrance by security then.

(Funnily enough, while walking around, I got mistaken for Joey more than once. I am the same height as him, had the same long black hair, same pale skin, and was wearing almost exactly what he had been. One person claimed from behind, I was a dead ringer, apart from when I turned around, and they realised I was Chinese.)

It was soundcheck time. A sound guy testing the mics would say random things, like "testing one two three two one.... fudge fudge, I like fudge...." The band even did Purity, so us earlybirds were given a rare treat, and we screamed along from the entrance, and drummed our fists on the sides of nearby porta-potties. I hope no one was in there at the time. Whenever we got a glance of any of them, we'd scream and cheer. Finally they left again, but were soon to return.

This was the first time I'd been a part of the metal community. I was barely allowed internet in those days. But here, random strangers were friendly, striking up conversations like they'd been friends for years. Two big guys, called Trevor and Ted, looked out for me the entire gig after, keeping other big dudes from crushing me too much (I'm 5'3, remember). Other people commented on me being so baby, because I was only 14, and said they would take care of me.

When we were finally let in, right after the usher cut the rope, I ran in, screamed "WOOOHOOO!" along with a few friends I'd made. I only briefly stopped to receive this RoadRunner Records compilation CD from a roadie, then resumed running like a madman screaming and dashing into the VIP cage.

I was right up against the barricade - the first time I would ever be at a gig. People from assorted magazines and press took photos of us, and I think I got my photo taken about 10 times at least.

(This is how I got in trouble with my parents the next day. My photo had ended up in a local paper - you can see examples of that here. They had no idea what I'd been to see the night before, and were horrified when they saw what Slipknot looked like.)

We saw Sid filming us from the stage with a camcorder and screamed at him. We saw Jim and screamed at him too, and he flashed the victory sign back at us. I remember Metallica playing at the time, another one of my favourite bands.

The concert was a brutal religious experience I will never forget. People with their arms outstretched, crying and screaming out loud, moving like the devil possessed them.

The new friends around me made sure I was alright after every song! There were huge guys fainting behind us who had to get carried out, but I endured, a tiny 14 year old child. We got a family speech as per tradition, of course. "Are you guys out there all looking out for each other? We're all one big family, and we gotta look out for each other." What Corey said held true - strangers hugged, shook hands, talked, and made friends. I was heartened by how close-knit the maggot community was. It really did feel like a family, and it's felt like that ever since.

Of course, I did my first Jump The Fuck Up. It is possibly the most euphoria I've ever experienced all at one go. (Later, in 2020, I was extremely disappointed that I didn't get to do it again in London.)

They did the death masks for Vermilion, and I remember Chris helping Sid fix his mask and shirt when they'd changed back. Sid hung out near Clown's drums for most of the time too, and hugged him from behind and just latched on at one point. It was pretty adorable.

Fun fact: The version of Eyeless you hear on the 9.0 Live album is from Singapore, as is Eeyore. There are very few photos and videos from the crowd of this gig, because in 2005, very few people had camera phones. The crowd at the Slipknot gig in 2020 was a sea of arms with phones, filming the gig rather than experiencing it. Yes, I'm going to be that cranky old geezer who complains about the good old days.

Joey as usual, was fucking amazing and never failed. However, due to the fact that I was right up front, only his tiny head was visible behind his vast drum set, I couldn't see him the entire gig.

Amazingly, the government told Slipknot they were not allowed to do obscene gestures, curse, vomit (possibly due to the decomposing crow pre-show ritual), simulate humping on objects, throw faeces, or jump off stage (looking at you, Sid). I don't think our totalitarian government knew who they were dealing with, because watch what happens next.

Near the end of the gig, Corey tells the crowd “your government has given us a laundry list of things we aren’t allowed to do, your government has told us we are not allowed to swear”. Crowd goes “BOOOOOOOOO” and Corey goes “BUT WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!” And they launch into Surfacing, the last song. Everyone riots. Best night of my life.

You can find the setlist from that gig here. It had everything I wanted and more.

This story later got immortalised when Kerrang asked maggots for gig stories, for an article which came out in 2020. I had forgotten entirely, until people began messaging me to tell me, and one friend sent me a scan of it!

On the way out, I managed to get a shirt. I remember calling my best friend at the time, and got everyone at the merch booth to go "IF YOU'RE 555 THEN I'M 666" for her. This shirt has since been lost to the landfill, because my Christian mother took it upon herself to dispose of it the first opportunity she got. Needless to say, our relationship is not very good.

After that, I even managed to get that Roadrunner compilation album they were giving out signed. The band was staying at the Carlton. Unfortunately, Joey wasn't there, neither was Clown, and Mick was swarmed by guitar nerds so, 6/9 it is. It is a great regret of mine that I'll never have anything signed by him, nor will I ever get to see him perform ever again.

The next day, I went to school, my head swimming. Yes, I went to see Slipknot ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. I was a giant bruise, from my ribs and my chest, to my hips and knees, from being slammed into the barricade like a screen door in a hurricane. Most of all, my sore, headbanged-out neck could barely hold my head up. Classmates thought I had been in a fight. I was torn between battle-scarred exhaustion and hyperactive ranting about the most amazing gig of my short life (it still is, to this day). When teachers spoke to me, I wanted to reply, "Fuck trigonometry! I've just seen SLIPKNOT. Do you not understand that my world is different? Do you not understand that *I* am now different?"

My country was a small, conservative town that Slipknot had graced with their unholy presence. Corey Taylor once said that where he grew up in Iowa had a way of making a 16 year old boy feel like a 36 year old man (or something to that effect). I felt that in my weary bones as a teenager, being from a place just like that. Years later, Watain would run into worse trouble, and wouldn't even be allowed to perform. The Christian stranglehold is stronger than ever. It was a good thing that back then Slipknot had the element of surprise, striking serpent-fast and choking this society by the neck for a too-brief time, before they departed.

After that, my desire to play the drums only grew like a weed. Joey Jordison had, has, and will always inspire me as a drummer, and seeing the beast live (or what little I could spy behind the massive riser) had only spurred me on. I had always been a noisemaker, be it driving my parents mad with chopsticks on pots and pans, or driving my teachers mad with pencils on my desk. But of course, my parents wouldn't have any of it. I'd have to wait a good 14 more years before I'd be able to afford lessons and later, a kit of my own. Better late than never, right?

There will never be enough words to describe the impact Joey has had on my life. And it isn't just Slipknot, either. I could write another essay on his time with the Murderdolls and its influence on my own gender-non-conforming ways. Suffice to say, my wardrobe doesn't look too dissimilar to his during the early Dead in Hollywood days.

I told my boss I could not come into work today. I was grieving. I said that my music teacher died, as I didn't think she'd understand the magnitude of my loss. In a way, it's true. And I am not the only one Joey has nudged on the path to being a musician, that much is certain. To the rest of us, I wish strength and love for you in this difficult time. The best way to honour Joey, who truly loved music, both the creation and appreciation of it, is to pass that gift on. Teach it to someone. He is the reason I picked up the sticks in the first place, and one day, they'll be handed on, the heavy metal baton for the next generation.

And finally: remember that the ones we have lost are never truly gone.

Vinnie

P.S. See if you can spot me in the crowd photos in this post!

[alightwhendarknessfell]

Black Veil Brides VIP Meet and Greets

I just wanted to make a quick post since I've seen a lot of people talking about the VIP/meet and greet tickets for the rescheduled ITM/BVB tour. I know there have been some strong opinions on the COVID restrictions and questions about what will or won't be allowed.

Disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with the band or management and don't speak for them. This is just my opinion/trying to share some helpful tips and information. I’ll give references for what I say, but please take specific questions to the email listed on their website EPICVIP@EPICRIGHTS.COM

I’ve seen some people criticizing the band for the COVID restrictions in place as if it is solely their decision as to what will be allowed and not allowed. More than likely it was a decision made by management, the team putting on the tour, venues, etc, and made to fit state health guidelines and CDC recommendations. The idea that they will be able to have meet and greets the way they were done prior to 2020 with no restrictions is unrealistic. While COVID cases are declining and around 50% of the United State’s population has been vaccinated the pandemic is not over. There may be another rise in cases this fall and with the tour taking place during flu season it will be hard to tell who is sick with COVID or just the flu/cold. All rules and regulations for both VIP and the shows are done for the safety of the artists AND the fans. Remember that it’s not just because you could get the band sick, they could potentially get you sick too. Therefore care must be taken to make the VIP M&Gs a safe but still fun experience for both parties.

Local venues are all going to have different protocols as to what is and isn’t allowed. This is due to states having different rules as far as distancing, masking, and sanitation regulations. This is completely out of the band’s control and they are obligated to follow the rules for the venue and state they are in. The VIP ticket upgrade is OPTIONAL, you are under no obligation to purchase VIP tickets if you feel it’s not worth the price. You can purchase just the regular ticket to see the show (this is also required for VIP tickets as that ticket ONLY is for the meet and greet). I get that people are upset about the limitations, but I for one, am grateful they’re even offering VIP tickets. They could just as easily have said no meet and greets at all.

Isn’t the band vaccinated? Andy and CC have both said publicly they are vaccinated. Andy's dad has stated the band is fully vaccinated. I’m sure others are as well, along with the crew and the other bands but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to not have safety guidelines in place. Remember, that there is still a question as to whether or not someone who has been vaccinated can harbor the virus and pass it on even though they are unlikely to become ill themselves. It seems that vaccines DO provide good protection against infecting others and becoming ill but none of the vaccinates are 100% effective. The band will be traveling all over the country meeting lots of people each night, therefore obviously precautions are going to be taken to reduce the risk for everyone.

What if I’m vaccinated? That’s wonderful! I would strongly encourage everyone to get their vaccines, especially before attending a concert. Because there’s no way to really check vaccination statuses (unfortunately fake vaccine cards are way too common and easy to make) the rules have to be made with the assumption that some people there WILL be unvaccinated. Theoretically, yes, it would be safe for a vaccinated person to be without a mask on with the band if they are also all vaccinated. Since again, that can’t be guaranteed (and because that would involve different treatment for different people) the best option is to just have rules that EVERYONE will have to follow. There are also variations in the vaccine's effectiveness. Pfizer/Moderna are both 90%+ effective while J&J (one-shot) is about 65-70%.

Hugs? These aren’t allowed at BVB M&Gs anyways, even before COVID. Their websites specifically states hugs will NOT be allowed. Please respect this rule.

Gifts? Andy’s dad (Chris Biersack) spoke about this on Twitter yesterday in response to some fan questions. He says he would discourage fans from bringing gifts. I know a lot of people like to bring them gifts but the best thing you can do is come to the show and sing along and show your love for the band by supporting them. Physical gifts can wait for now, and I think everyone should respect that. Besides, space is limited on tour anyways and when you think about how many people bring them gifts each night, logistically that is hard to accommodate. I do not see anything specifically about gifts on their website so that may be something you would want to email the VIP company about or ask in the BVB Facebook group if you're dead set on bringing something. However, the website DOES state that no "personal autographs" will be permitted, only the poster they are providing.

Photos? The rules on their website state that photos will be taken with 3 feet distance between the fan and the band. Fans may take their masks OFF for the photo, but masks will be required for the M&G and while in line for it (but you get a cool BVB mask!!!!). I know people are upset over this one too but think of all the cool ways you could do this photo. You can stand in front with the band behind you and strike a pose with yourself as the centerpiece! Three feet isn’t that far either, and honestly, that’s about how much room you’d give someone for personal space anyways.

It's so expensive!!: It's the same price as their M&Gs always have been. Yes, $100 is a lot of money for most people but it's the norm for band M&Gs. I am okay with paying that price even with the COVID restrictions because I want to be able to support the band. They haven't been able to tour in over a year and I'm sure that has cost them a lot of revenue. So I have no problem paying to see my favorite band.

TIPS

Read the rules BEFORE buying tickets for the M&G or show. Call the venue to ask for specifics if you want to or check their websites. Make sure you’re okay with the rules and if you purchase a M&G then follow all rules regarding safety and distancing.

Wear a mask/the one they give you during your M&G, please respect your health and the band’s.

While vaccinated individuals according to the CDC are at lower risk while attending concerts, unvaccinated people are still at a high risk of contracting COVID. It’s a very good idea to make sure you are TWO WEEKS out from your LAST shot before your concert date.

Monitor yourself for symptoms, and if you are at ALL feeling sick, coughing, have a fever, vomiting, etc. do NOT come to the show. Missing the show sucks, but you don’t want to run the risk of infecting others.

Personally, I plan to wear my mask while inside the venue even though I am fully vaccinated. If the venue is not requiring masks to be worn inside it is up to individuals to choose to or not but I know I will feel safer with a mask on.

Give people space while in the crowd. Now isn’t the time to be right on top of someone trying to push to the front. Please respect everyone’s personal space and remember that there may be people who are at an increased risk of severe COVID infection present.

If you are in a “high risk” group, talk to your doctor about whether or not it is safe for you to attend an indoor concert.

If you are bringing your vaccination card, get it laminated first or take a photo of it and keep it on your phone. They’re paper and you wouldn’t want it to fall apart because it got wet.

Bring extra disposable masks in case yours gets wet, dirty, or something happens to it.

Wash your hands!!!!!!!!

Don’t share water/drinks/food. I know ���pass the water bottle” is popular at shows but let’s skip that for now.

I think it’s important that people keep perspective on this. The world just shut down for over a year and NO concerts took place. The fact that concerts will happen this year at all is a miracle. COVID is a fluid situation and there is no guarantee that things will be better or worse when the tour starts this Fall. This is a virus that has killed millions of people worldwide and hundreds of thousands in the United States. It’s not to be taken lightly, there are serious long-term consequences for some who get COVID. Guidelines are in place for a reason and the band, venues, and management should NOT be criticized for keeping everyone safe. If you don’t like the rules then don’t buy VIP tickets or don’t go to the show, it’s that simple. Following the rules and listening to guidelines is incredibly important. Doing everything you can to ensure your safety, other fan’s safety and the band/crew’s safety should be a top priority. One day there will be “normal” concerts and M&Gs again but for now, we have to still be mindful.

Respect the rules

Respect the health and safety of yourself and others

Have fun and celebrate live music again!

[swimyghost]

Snazz's Birthday Bash

TODAY IS @holyfandomsnazz 's birthday today! EVERYONE WISH THEM A HAPPY B-DAY!

@self-insert-nonsense @wickedhellagoodtime ARE HERE TOO!

The heat was getting to everyone. Even though the region was known for its cooler summers compared to the rest of the country, the wave of moist warmth was ruining the entire Roomies' day.

"Swimy," Snazz said, their blonde hair frazzled and covering their weary eyes, "did you pay the goddamn rent for the electric bill?"

"Unfortunately, until I get my ID, I'm still a minor in the eyes of the law," the recently made adult replied, pulling their blue hair away from their sweat covered brow, "so, no, I didn't pay the fucking electrical bill,"

"Well, couldn't you have gotten your ID earlier!?" Snazz shouted.

"I wasn't eighteen until three days ago, genius!" Swimy fired back.

Formerly lounging on the couch, the pair were now locked in a fierce glaring match with both of them looking like they were ready to fight each other.

"You're the adult here, why didn't you pay!?" Swimy yelled.

"Because I haven't been paid yet!"

"Neither have I!"

"Enough!"

A pink-haired figure stepped out into the living room with a tired, yet annoyed, look on their face. In her hand was a paper bag with the name 'SIN' scrawled on the forehead which was dotted with sweat stains. Their floral patterned shirt was just as ruffled as Swimy's hoodie and Snazz's gray shirt. Putting both hands on their hips, the eldest member of the roommates frowned at the duo.

"Do you want us to get another noise complaint?"

"No," Snazz grumbled, leaning back into the couch.

"But Dawn-" Swimy started.

"No buts!" Dawn interrupted, "it's already hard enough to find a four-bedroom apartment in our price range, I don't need you guys making it harder,"

Snazz raised their hand, "Technically my room is a former closet,"

Dawn turned their gaze away, clearly embarrassed, "It still counts,"

"Why can't we just ask your boy toy to help us out?" Swimy questioned.

"Karamatsu is just as much in a financial struggle as us and you know that," Dawn said with an even deeper frown.

"What's the point of a man if you can't even get him to pay your rent?" Snazz muttered.

All three went silent for a few moments before Dawn sighed, "I get my Patreon money at midnight. When is the latest we can pay?"

"The sixteenth," Swimy replied.

"And what day is it today?"

"The fourteenth,"

"Okay, so tomorrow I need to-"

"Oh shit really?" Snazz said, their eyes wide.

Both Swimy and Dawn blinked in confusion. "Is that a problem?" Dawn asked.

"No, no, it's not that," the blonde waved their hand nonchalantly, "I just... Well... It's my birthday tomorrow,"

"What?!" Swimy exclaimed, "I didn't know your birthday was in the same month as mine!"

"I- We're siblings how did you forget!?" Snazz said with their nose scrunched up.

"You know I'm bad with dates!"

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Dawn asked, ignoring Swimy's outburst.

"Hey, I forgot it myself," Snazz raised their hands defensively, "besides... It's not like we celebrated it much anyway,"

The oldest and youngest of the Roomie siblings glanced awkwardly at each other as an uncomfortable silence fell over the group. Several moments passed before Snazz stood up with a grunt. "I got commissions to finish. I'll pay the rent with that next time. Later,"

Dawn reached out to grab hold of their sibling, but they managed to dodge their grasp and entered their room swiftly, closing it with a soft thud. While the apartment was dead still, Dawn and Swimy rushed over to one another and began talking in hushed tones.

"How could you forgot Snazz's birthday!?" the pink-haired singer whispered angrily.

"You forgot it too, don't you try and deny it!" Swimy countered back in an equally low voice.

"Well... Did you get them a present?" Dawn asked anxiously.

"I forgot that Snazz's birthday was even this month, did you really think I'd get them a gift?!"

"Well, I don't have anything either!"

The two sighed, but their emotions were still running high. They had under twenty-four hours to purchase a gift for their sibling with the little amount of money all of them had, all while a desert-like heat filled the region in its unbearable cloud of misery.

"Alright, get your shoes on and try to get Sam out of their room," Dawn ordered, referencing their other sibling.

"What for?" Swimy asked, already reaching for their shoes near the old front door.

"Because we need to go out and get Snazz a gift before it's too late! They already probably think we're a bad sibling so we need to hurry and get something they like!" Dawn explained.

"Alright, alright, keep your voice down!" Swimy hissed, glancing over at Snazz's room.

Dawn nodded and began putting on her shoes while Swimy rushed over to the third oldest Roomie sibling. They grimaced at the yellowing paint on the walls as they swiftly knocked on the door.

"Sam. Sam! I know you're in there and we need you!" the blue-haired teen begged.

"...Go away," a muffled voice stated tiredly.

"Sam, we forgot about Snazz's birthday! All of us need to go find a gift for them!"

"...I'll search online for something. I'll Venmo you some money,"

"Ugh! Why won't you just come out!?"

"...Too hot. Too bright,"

"...That's fair,"

"What did they say?" Dawn asked, all ready to go. Swimy walked over to them with a huff.

"They said they'll look online for something," Swimy complained.

"Let me guess, it's too hot for them?" Dawn guessed.

"Bingo,"

"Well," the eldest sister sighed, "we don't have time to argue. We have a birthday to save!"

"Alright! Let's do it!"

---

"We're not going to be able to do it!"

Dawn looked down at the completely worn-out Swimy, watching as sweat rained down off their body onto the asphalt road as they were uncomfortably hunched over. Their blue hoodie was completely ruined hours earlier and had been tied around their waist in a desperate amount to stay cool, revealing a Mothman T-shirt underneath the read "Eat. Sleep. Lurk.".

"C'mon, one more store," Dawn said with exhaustion seeping into her voice. Her floral pattern blouse and her skirt were completely soaked in sweat and her skin was beet red. Still, determination held strong in her green eyes as she tried to pull her sibling up.

"No! No more stores! We've been into too many stores!" Swimy whined, resisting their sister's efforts.

"We need to find a birthday present!" Dawn argued.

"And I need to find a new therapist but you don't see me spending nearly four hours walking in unbearable heat to find one!" Swimy growled, motioning towards the setting sun, "besides, I think Snazz is starting to think our "double date" excuse is a little suspicious,"

Dawn sighed, "I know... But we need to prove we care about them. Just one gift will be enough,"

Swimy's eyes darted to the side, "I care too... But don't you think that maybe I caused Snazz's forgetfulness? That I'm the one to blame?"

"Pardon?"

"I mean," Swimy looked uncomfortable, "I was the youngest and born literally four days before their birthday. Snazz's birthday has always been overshadowed by me, the "baby" of the family,"

"Swimy-"

"What if... What if I'm the reason Snazz forgot? That I've been a terrible sibling this whole time and I've been blissfully unaware? That I've been able to happily celebrate my birth while they've been forgotten,"

Dawn, nothing tears welling up in their eyes, pulled Swimy close, "Don't talk like that. I doubt Snazz blames you for your birthday or the fact we never celebrated theirs as much as kids. If anything, they should blame Mom and Dad for that. You have nothing to do with this,"

"But... We if they do blame me?"

"Then we have to show Snazz the perfect gift!" Dawn gave her young sibling a tight squeeze, "What do you say? One more store?"

"...Yeah, one more," Swimy looked up concerned, "but how are we going to find one that-"

Suddenly, Swimy's phone went off with a loud buzz. Startled, the pair broke apart while Swimy awkwardly fumbled around with it. There was a single text sent by Sam:

I'm making a pie. I also found something Snazz will most definitely like.

Attached was an address to a nearby store. Sin blinked in surprise after she looked it up.

"It's a weird occult and true crime store. What does this have to do with a birthday present?"

"Who cares!?" Swimy proclaimed with a big grin, "we have a lead! And you said we needed to look in one more store!"

Dawn, still looking unconvinced, simply nodded, "If you say so,"

With that, the pair took off, ignoring the shouts and glares of passerby's. Dawn and Swimy managed to weave their way through tight alleys and crowds with ease with their newfound energy. It wasn't long before the two were situated outside a dark-colored store with black tinted windows. Crystals and occult symbols were carefully hung visibly through the glass. While Swimy appeared eager, Dawn seemed less than sure.

"You okay?" Swimy asked.

"Yeah just... It's creepy," Dawn shivered.

"...I'm married to Death's ferrywoman, Dawn," Swimy lifted their hand, showing off their black and silver wedding ring.

"That's different!"

"It really isn't,"

"Fuck off!" the pink-haired girl shoved Swimy into the store.

Inside was surprisingly bright which went against the darkness of the clothes, books, and crystals. The wood made a hollow thud with every step. Shelves were spaced in rows that carried various occult items. Walls were lined by clothes and posters containing demons or hard-core metal bands to-

"Is that Al Capone?" Dawn pointed at a poster.

"Yeah... And that's Haurkichi Yamaguchi," Swimy motioned to another poster, referencing the creator and former head of the Yamaguchi-gumi yakuza organization.

"Ahem,"

The Roomies siblings turned and, across the store, was a teenaged Japanese cashier. She had a combination of boredom and exasperation as she parted her black hair from her eyes. "Welcome to Crimes and the Concealed, a true crime and occult experience where there is something for everyone," she waved her hands less than amused for a supposed to be dramatic effect.

"Uh... Thanks," Dawn replied, nudging Swimy forward.

"If you buy one poster, the other is 15% off,"

"Thank you! But we're looking for something else!" Dawn hastily shoved Swimy into the back of the store, away from the prying eyes of the cashier, who seemed equally glad not to deal with them.

"That was rude," Swimy glared

"Sorry! This whole shop gives me the creeps," Dawn whined.

"I'm never taking you on a double date to the Underworld," Swimy muttered, blissfully unaware of the sound of the store door opening.

The siblings went looking for something buy, pouring over the many candles and strange objects as the setting sun remained a looming reminder of their limited time. After looking at the fifteenth crystal necklace, Dawn was about to give up when Swimy let out a gasp. Dawn instantly turned and was stunned to see what was hanging in the corner of the store.

Body pillows. Over a dozen body pillows of famous gangsters and criminals from Billy the Kid to Calogero Vizzini to Pablo Escobar, the rather morbid idea of placing known men that went outside the law for their evil deeds in alluring poses made the two shiver. But the one that caught their eye was the lone female in the mix. Long lavender hair matched her dazzling amber eyes. She donned a pirate outfit with a black corset that complimented her figure. Black boots with gold accents that reached to her knees, similar to how her all-knowing smirk reached across her face.

Dawn reached out and touched the pillow, "That's... Snazz's girlfr-"

"MY WAIFU!"

Suddenly, two large men shoved past the Roomie siblings. One had thick-rimmed and lens glasses with a greasy ponytail and sweat and grease-stained shirt that showed a bunch of underage anime girls in tight clothing and the other looked similar but had shorter black hair with glasses that blocked out his eyes and was slightly skinnier than his friend but still wore questionable attire.

"Oh my dear waifu, how I've looked for you for so long!" the ponytail man wailed, almost crying on the pillow.

"Hey! We had our hand on it first!" Swimy said, shoving past their older sister and glaring at the men.

"Eh!? What would two normies want with this?!" the smaller of the two gasped, his green jacket fluttering with the sudden movement showing that he had two anime girls sitting on their knees with one only wearing an open suit and fedora and the other an Italian suit with a cigar in her mouth.

"Did you use normies unironically?" Swimy muttered with disgust.

"You two don't get it clearly!" the larger man snorted, "If you were real fans of Chibi Wakai Gyangu No On'nanoko, you'd understand how rare this pillow this is!"

"Chibi Young Gangster Girls?" Dawn repeated the title, confused.

Both men turned their attention to Dawn. The ponytail man spoke first, "It's an anime where all the famous gangsters are turned into cute little girls! But the modern-day pirate mob boss can't be added because she keeps targeting the animation studio anytime they try!"

"I wonder why?" Swimy rolled their eyes.

"Quiet pipsqueak!" The jacketed man yelled.

"Easy, Kurai," the larger man leaned into Swimy's personal space, "those this one look like Al Capone-chan?"

Kurai blinked then let out a small smile, "She does, Terro! All she has to do is change her hair and-"

"It's 'they' and you stay away from my sibling!" Dawn shouted, pulling Swimy behind them.

"Shut up, pinkie! You have no right to judge since you're cosplaying that Sin idol!" Terro shouted.

"Their boobs are clearly fake! They're such a fake cosplayer she can't even get her most noticeable features!" Kurai pointed out.

Dawn gasped and wrapped her arms around her chest. Swimy leaped forward and practically hissed at the two, "We're taking that pillow and you're going to leave us alone, or else!"

Terro sneered, "Or else what?"

With the snap of their fingers, a bright blue beam of blue particles swirled around Terro's head. He tried to swat them away, but the blue solidified and turned into a dense water bubble around his head that spun like a cyclone. He tried to scream but inhaled a bunch of water instead. Kurai immediately went on the defense and tried the grab hold of Swimy. Dawn, realizing that talking wouldn't be successful here, stepped aside as Swimy leaped backward and willed her hand into a fiery blaze. With a primal scream, she slapped him full force, sending both him and his glasses flying in opposite directions. A bright red handprint was left on his face. A sudden gasp alerted the siblings that the water bubble had burst. Before they could react, Terro was on top of Swimy and trying to hold them down.

"You crazy bitch!" He screamed, trying to land a hit on the smaller person.

Swimy used their free leg to deliver a swift kick to the stomach before headbutting him off them. He groaned in pain and rolled onto his side. Dawn took this opportunity to light her foot ablaze and slam it down right onto his crotch. He howled in pain as his pants and his manhood were burned by the attack.

"Get the Hell out of here before we do worse!" Dawn ordered, readying their fists with Swimy following close behind.

Whimpering, the two took off running, leaving behind Kurai's set of glasses and several clothes that had fallen during the scuffle. Tired, Swimy grabbed hold of the body pillow and trudged towards the register. The cashier trembled as they set it down.

"W-Will that be all?" she stuttered.

"Yeah," Swimy replied bluntly.

The cashier nodded and quickly rung up the pillow. She practically shoved the item into Swimy's arms and nearly dove under the counter. Dawn rested a weary hand on Swimy and sighed.

"C'mon, let's get out of here before the cops arrive. We have a birthday to save,"

---

All Snazz wanted to do was sleep. Not only had they remembered that their birthday was a thing but they had spent the whole night trying to finish commissions in an attempt to forget it again. Even though their body was worn out, their mind was rushing with memories of all the birthdays that were forgotten of the years.

It's like they never cared Snazz thought.

They rolled onto their side for the hundredth time that night, trying to force sleep to come. What they didn't expect was their door to suddenly slam open and a large weight crashing onto their side.

"Oof! What the fuck-!"

"Wake up, sleepyhead! Time to have the best day you've ever had!"

"...Swimy?" Snazz looked up, seeing the smiling face of their youngest sibling looking down on them. They had thick eyebags that hung from under their eyes that balanced out their high amounts of enthusiasm radiating off them.

"Do you know another blue-haired bitch that's related to you? Now come on before I drag you out!" Swimy exclaimed, pulling on Snazz's shirt sleeve.

"I'm still I'm my pajamas and I haven't even showered!" Snazz argued, trying to resist their pulling.

"You also haven't cleaned your room in two weeks but you aren't worried about that!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck yourself!"

With the help of both their powers and natural strength, Swimy managed to help drag Snazz out of their bed and made them cover their eyes.

"This is stupid," Snazz grumbled.

"You're stupid but I love you anyway. To the kitchen!" Swimy shoved Snazz forward.

After several near attempts of Snazz crashing into a wall and one toe snubbing, they made it to the kitchen with Snazz less than amused.

"This better be good,"

"It is! Now... Open!"

Snazz did so and gasped. Not only was their favorite pie, chocolate coconut perfectly sat on their rickety table, but a large wrapped present was sitting beside it. Snazz and Sam, wearing their infamous multi-colored gradient mask, stood there with birthday poppers and wide grins.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SNAZZ!" all three siblings shouted, pulling the poppers and sending cheap confetti everywhere. Instead of being excited, Snazz stood there motionless with a blank expression. After a brief pause, Sam leaned over and whispered into Swimy's ear.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Swimy whispered back.

"Swimy," Sin said sternly.

"I didn't! Honest!"

Sam crossed their arms, "Well why are they-"

Wails exploded from Snazz as fat tears ran down their face. Immediately, all of their siblings rushed over and began to comfort them.

"Is it the pie? Is the pie not good enough?" Swimy asked nervously.

"I made that fucker by hand! It's perfect!" Sam yelled.

"Well if I have to be blamed for something so do you!" Swimy yelled back.

"Was it the poppers? God, I knew they were a bad idea!" Dawn nearly pulled their hair due to stress.

"You wanna go?" Sam snarled.

"Yeah, let's go!" their blue-haired sibling smirked, readying their fists.

Snazz grabbed all three of them and pulled them into a tight hug pile on the floor. Still crying, they managed to choke out a few words.

"I-I'm so happy! Y-You did a-all of this fo-for me!"

"Of course we did! We love you Snazz!" Dawn said, flinching as Snazz began to cry harder.

"C'mon, open the gift!" Swimy said, pulling the present down to the group.

Snazz didn't hesitant into tearing it open. They gasped in shock when they saw what it was.

"Is this my girlfriend? On a... Body pillow?"

"Don't ask how we got her," Dawn butted in.

"I-"

"Don't. Ask."

"I- Alright. Thank you. It's a lovely gift," Snazz said, setting it aside.

"Let's eat the damn pie already. I spent all night working on it so let's put it to good use," Sam said, standing up.

"I'll get the plates!" Sin called over her shoulder.

"Lemme get the forks and knives!" Swimy started to rush over to the drawers.

While the three started to gather everything for their meal, Snazz watched them fondly. They grabbed ahold of their new gift and squeezed it tightly.

Whatever being rules this hell of a universe... Thank you for my siblings... And thank you for this birthday.

[trainthief]

hey i'm one of those aforementioned "only-heard-blake-shelton" people - do you have any recs for better country music? i like finding new music but country is hard cause i don't really know where to start

I think the best way to explore any genre is to abandon the feeling that you’re obligated to develop an academic-level base of knowledge in the different foundations and aspects of it. If that’s something that actually interests you then by all means go for it, but despite how pretentious and rude people can get about music, it is at its heart just a form of expression - and while knowing which specific sounds might have influenced others can enhance the listening experience for some people, it’s not like there’s a prerequisite course load you need to take before you can start telling people you like country music at parties. 

Anyway, that point aside, here’s some basics: country itself is a really broad concept, and was initially defined more by its ideology and source than any specific structural musical qualities that it tended toward (although its creation was most heavily influenced by Irish, Mexican, and African musical traditions). The common use of instruments like guitars, banjos, and fiddles is more to do with the ease of accessibility and portability for poorer Americans of the late 1800s, who - especially in the West - tended to be at least somewhat nomadic. Thematically speaking, it was most often centered around the experiences of blue-collar workers, including but not limited to cowboys. Subsequently, it has suffered under the combined efforts of corporations and politicians to market a parody of rural America’s own culture right back at them, and that’s why - especially if you’re only in your 20’s or younger - it’s very possible your knowledge of it is defined by commercialized Bro Country (which in my opinion is almost always antithetical to the actual spirit of country music itself, and also from a musical perspective tends to be uninteresting bullshit). 

As far as subgenres go, the ideas quickly become so vague that it’s really up to the listener to decide how they want to categorize their music. Region and era can influence sound quite a bit, so that’s one way. Subject matter is another. Actual musical structure is a further one. I’m not going to bother and try to give you a comprehensive idea of all the options, because that’s impossible to do in anything shorter than an essay. Instead I’ll just fill you in on some of my favorites, and some song suggestions to go with them: 

Country Music You’ve Been Listening to This Whole Time Without Knowing It: this is an easy one to start with. Lots of folk music is also country music, whether you were aware of it or not. James Taylor, John Prine, John Denver, Bob Dylan…. You’ve been here this whole time. 

Outlaw Country: Tends to be either dark or mournful, but regardless it’s dramatic and fun. Usually framed around some fictional crime the singer has committed, which they have either been sentenced for or are on the run from. Good examples are Kate McCannon by Colter Wall, Mama Tried by Merle Haggard, Late July by Shakey Graves, Gallows Pole by Willie Watson, and Hell’s Canyon by Lost Dog Street Band

Spirituals: I’m definitely not going to tell you how to feel about religion itself - but given that music has been such a deeply rooted part of spiritual expression for as long as we’ve recorded history, and has very often evolved in tandem with or in response to religious movements, I think you’re really cutting yourself off from some good tunes if you try to ignore it entirely. Johnny Cash’s later stuff, especially, has the same dark overtones of his earlier Outlaw music but with the addition of gospel stylings and a religious severity that comes together in a way that’s honestly just straight up sexy to listen to. Ain’t No Grave and Redemption Day are probably the best two examples of this. On the other side, there’s the simplistic and heartfelt kind of spiritual country found in stuff like Hank Williams’ I Saw the Light, or I’ll Fly Away as performed by Gillian Welch, which I find really moving. 

Honky Tonk: On the subject of Hank Williams, honky tonk is really fun music, and I deeply resent the fact that it’s been incorporated into the classist caricature of rural stupidity. At its heart, honky tonk was just designed to be a good time, and the vocal techniques it employs are actually really difficult to master, so it deserves a lot more respect. Hank Williams, in particular, also tends to use it to get right at the heart of subjects I really enjoy (although don’t confuse him with his son Hank Williams Jr, who writes Bro Country and unfortunately seems to be a terrible person). Anyway, Mind Your Own Business is one of his (and one of my favorite personal anthems), and Wealth Won’t Save Your Soul is a powerful one too. Regarding more modern honky tonk, my favorite up-and-coming musician is named Nick Shoulders, and I’d recommend his songs Rather Low and Snakes and Waterfalls. 

Nice Comfortable Country Music Sung By Ladies: this is definitely a genre specific to just me, but it’s a type of music I grew up listening to a lot as a kid and I really love it. Like the title says, it’s just country songs by various very talented women who make you feel like you’re warm and at home. I Have a Need for Solitude by the great Mary Chapin Carpenter, Across the Great Divide by Nanci Griffith, Traveling Alone by Tift Merritt, Angel from Montgomery by Bonnie Raitt, Hammer and a Nail by The Indigo Girls

Poor Boy Blues: again, not a definitive stylistic subgenre so much as it is an opportunity to show off a few different songs of a few different styles that all follow a common and relatable theme, specifically one that is important to the overall genre itself. Dead End Street by Blake Mills, Crop Comes In by Chatham County Line, Thirteen Silver Dollars by Colter Wall, My Rifle My Pony and Me by Dean Martin, Cowpoke by Dave Stamey, Automobile by KALEO

Love And Heartbreak: have you really lived if you haven’t rocked out to Cowboy Take Me Away by the Dixie Chicks? No, you haven’t. You’ll also be happy to hear that I recall a poll that listed Cowboy Take Me Away as being the number one song every cowboy will sing along to on full blast whenever he’s alone. Anyway, there’s also Buddy by Willie Nelson, Crossing Muddy Waters by John Hiatt, Morning by Jim Ed Brown, Every Time I Hear That Song by Brandi Carlile, Gentle on My Mind by Glen Campbell, Kathleen by Townes Van Zandt. 

Experimental: if you’d like to get a little weird with it, I’d recommend The Gold is Deep by The Dead Tongues (which uses some really ambient reverb and a small church organ for a more psychedelic sound), or Familiarity by The Punch Brothers (which compositionally borrows a lot from modern classical chamber music with its rhythmic systems and pacing). 

There’s lots more we could get into here, like bluegrass, slow dancing music, spaghetti western soundtracks, and the fact that not all country pop-rock is bad, but I’ll stop myself here…. If you’re looking for a more general source for a lot of country all at once, here’s my favorite of my country playlists. Hope that was helpful! 

[crybabysunflower]

The song which reminds me of a Mystic Messenger character

Introduction

I have chosen this song based on how I have perceived this certain character from the otome game. I have chosen this song because the lyrics reminded me of him every time I listened to the song.

The character I have chosen for my blog is Kim Yoosung and the song which reminds me of him is Zombie by the South Korean punk pop band Day6 from their 2020 album, The Book of Us: The Demon

Before I write this blog I would give a trigger warning because it may have mentions of having suicidal thoughts so please read at your own risk.

The Lyrics

"What kind of day was yesterday

Was there anything special

I'm trying to remember

But nothing comes to my mind"

The lyrics above represents hopelessness and pessimism, the lyrics describes how the singer can't recall anything remotely positive happened to him on the previous day, he has been so used to the misery he has been dealing with. This reminds me of how Rika's "death" had severely affected Yoosung's life to the point that his life had come to a standstill, after that incident he had been waking up to face the same monotonous, miserable days which repeats over and over. He did not experience anything positive enough to affect him since the loss of his beloved cousin.

"Today goes by the same

Am I the only one struggling

How do I get through this

Would things get better

If I cry my heart out"

The first line of the lyrics again brings back our focus to the monotonous nature of the singer's life, just like the singer Yoosung too leads a monotonous, colourless life. Just like the lyrics mentioned above, Yoosung feels that he is the only one who is still not over grieving over his cousin since the other RFA members in his perception are seemingly doing well and are succesful in their careers while he is stuck in the past and wasting away his life. He is desperate to get over the never ending pain he had been feeling since the tragic incident due to which he finds comfort in playing video games which helps him to drown his sorrows but unfortunately it turns into a serious addiction and it actually does more harm to him than doing good. The last two lines also depicts the singer's strong desire to get over the heartache and thus he wonders if crying out loud would make his agony subside. This reminds me of how just like the singer Yoosung too had desired to cry out his pain several times, but he knows that it is futile since the rest of his friends are eventually going to invalidate his feelings in some way or the other.

"Yeah we live a life

Just running in circles day and night

Yeah we live a life

Though I try to change something

I cant seem to do anything

And I have got nothing left with me"

As the lyrics mentioned above Yoosung lives a life where he is just running in circles, he wakes up, goes to school (and can't pay attention to his lessons), comes back home, plays video games for the entire remaining day, and the cycle repeats. However he tries his best to change his situation, he joins various clubs in his school, the stitching club, the barista club and many more but, he quickly ends up losing interest in them and quitting them since they barely help him to cope up with his crippling depression. Just like the lyrics mentioned above, he found nothing to permanently get rid of his heartache. The last line reminds me of the void his cousin and role model Rika had left. After Rika's absence, there was no one for him to look up to, there was no one whom he would love to impress by performing well and finally there was no one to give him the type of emotional closure which he desperately craves for.

"I feel like I became a Zombie

With an empty heart and empty head

A scarecrow without a brain inside

Since when did I end up like this oh why"

Zombie is a person's corpse which continues to haunt the earth even after the actual demise of the person. Just like a zombie, Yoosung had been dead inside. He isn't living up to his fullest like he used to under Rika's guidance before, he is just surviving for the sake of it. A scarecrow is a term which is also used for describing a person in ragged clothes. Usually a person in ragged clothes is either not able to take care of themself and/or is not bothered about taking care of themself. In Yoosung's case, its both. He plays video games most of the time barely letting himself get a wink of sleep, he also does not give himself proper meals on time and happens to survive on convenient store foods and this is all because of his crippling depression which makes him hardly care about his own well being. Since he had been dealing with depression for quite a while and it has been a pretty long time since Rika's "demise" he can't recall for how long he had been persistently melancholic.

"I became a Zombie

I walk on drifting aimlessly

Tomorrow will be no different

I live counting the time

Till I close my eyes"

Initially Yoosung aimed to be a vet due to Rika's influence for which he worked hard to earn the top position in his class during his highschool years and he even joined one of the reknowned universities in the country with full scholarship, until the sudden disappearance of his cousin from his life. After her absence he had lost all of his sense of direction and aim in his life, he was no longer motivated to do well enough to accomplish his dreams. He had stopped expecting anything different would happen to him on the next day and is waiting for everything to end. The last lines reminds me of him in the Another Story routes. There it was very obvious that he had extremely dark thoughts where he wished to put and end to his sufferings (and thats why Zen kept him under his watchful eye to prevent the younger man from doing anything dangerous).

"Yeah we live a life

Eyes wide open in the dark

This meaningless life

Though I want to just let go

Though I want to just dream on

There is nothing I can do anymore"

The line "eyes wide open in the dark" can be used in the situation both literally and metaphorically at the same time. In the literal sense it reminds me of Yoosung's messed up sleep schedule where he barely sleeps at night. In the metaphorical sense it depicts that he can't see anything ahead of himself, except darkness, his eyes are wide open to see any possible beam of hope which he could not find at that moment. His future plans are luxury for him. When he sees the other RFA members, such as Jumin, Jaehee and Zen who are successful he desires to become as succesful as them. But whenever he dreams, he has this persistent thought that he will never be as successful as them, no matter whatever he does. That tragic incident had not only left him with crippling depression but also had shattered his self esteem.

"Get it all out, wanna cry

Let go of everything

Can I cry

Give me back my tears, they have run dry"

The lines above again depicts the desparate need to get over the crippling depression which is consuming the singer like a black hole. From the previous descriptions here, it is clear that in a similar fashion, Yoosung too is desparate to get over his sufferings. This reminds me of that one time when he told that he wants to cry so hard that he would blank out. He had already cried several times while grieving over Rika, yet he isn't satisfied.

Miscellaneous

I had also made a fanart on Yoosung based on this song because I was heavily inspired by the illustrated music videos I have seen of this song

Conclusion

I had been planning to make a lyric blog which would be related to a Mystic Messenger character. I am sorry that this took a very long time to come out. The only alibi I have to justify why I took so much of time is that, I was extremely nervous about it, I wanted to write a very good blog but I was not feeling confident enough about my project and hence I was extremely nervous about writing this blog. I an very glad for having instagram user @emilytheredone help me write this blog, she helped me to ease my nervousness over writing this blog. I am very thankful to her. Therefore, please let me know if this blog has turned out to be good.

[miraizu]

Open Book - 4. An Informant’s Infamy

Open Book Ship: Chrollo Lucilfer/Reader Part: 4/?? [PREV] | [NEXT] Word count: 2,064  Warnings: None. Synopsis:  Everybody has to make a way of living. Some are hunters, some are thieves, some are just regular civilians trying to enjoy their lives. You? You're an informant, and in York New City, a city that never sleeps, you're about to find out just how much of a commodity that really makes you.

       "Hello, how can I help you -- no."

       Your face was a deadpan as you looked over at the new customer, unenthused as to who it was.  The man in question grinned coyly, spreading out his hands.

       "Aw, is that any way to treat an old friend, [Y/n]?"

       You snorted humorlessly.  "I could never see you again, Hisoka, and it would still be too soon."

       Hisoka Morow, 29 years old, and a transmuter.  If you had a physical list of people you hated, the top five slots would all be reserved to the annoying pain in the ass in front of you.

       Clearly unbothered by your remark, Hisoka casually strolled in, topaz eyes running over everything.  You were immediately on guard - whenever Hisoka was around, trouble always followed.  You didn't trust him at all, and were already at a huge disadvantage.  Your hatsu was purely for information, not at all suited for combat.  You had seen Hisoka's combative ability thrice before, and each time his opponents wound up mutilated and dead.

       He had a penchant for seeking out strong opponents and discarding the weak - it honestly confused you why he bothered with you at all.  Did he sense some hidden potential, or were you just really fun to annoy?  You didn't know the answer.  You weren't sure you wanted to know the answer.

       "I need some information."

       You nearly dropped the pen you had been holding out of shock, a rare occurrence for you as you met his eyes.  His face was serious, an expression that chilled you to the bone.  It bothered you almost as much as the fact that Hisoka Morow was coming to you for information.  A scenario you would have never thought possible.

       Blinking a couple times, you gazed at the man as if he had grown a second head.  "You....  Need information?"

       Hisoka huffed, striding forward.  "Is that so hard to believe, little informant?"  You bristled at the nickname, and his eyes twinkled in amusement at your reaction.  "I'm afraid I very well may need to find a nen exorcist soon, but unfortunately do not know of any."

       A nen exorcist?  A strange request, but not completely invalid.  If Hisoka had a nen curse placed on him, you would definitely leave him to die without a second of hesitation, but he seemed completely fine.  No, this nen exorcist was probably for somebody else, unfortunately.  However, a nen exorcist...  They were increasingly rare, a trade very few even pursued, let alone excelled in.  You had met one nen exorcist long ago, and you had seen him die yourself.

       You didn't like not having the information to help others, although the fact that it was Hisoka made you feel just a bit better.

       "I don't know of any," you admitted, meeting his gaze.  "Why, though?"

       For a moment, he stared at you, and upon realizing you were telling the truth he sighed and pulled back, clearly disappointed.  "I guess you'll never find out, little informant."

       He lifted a hand in a disinterested wave, already heading out of the door without any further conversation.  "Bye bye~."

       That was a bit...  Anti-climatic.

       Once you couldn't feel his presence, you had slumped, feeling drained.  You were always on edge around Hisoka, and every encounter with him left you drained.  It didn't help that, not even two hours prior had you dealt with Chrollo, and before that, Gon and his little merry band.  These encounters with familiar faces made your introvert self want to take a break from the entire world.  The only thing that kept you from completely doing that was the reminder that, once again, you had bills to pay.

       Being an adult truly sucked.

       Thankfully, throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening, as customers came and went, nobody else that you knew had come into your shop.  It was relieving - you would have lost your mind if you had to deal with anymore people.  Dealing with nameless customers who you'd never see again was one thing.  But with people you knew and were expected to have longer, more in-depth conversations with?  Forget it.

       Bidding a customer goodbye as he walked out with a dusty old GameBox, you allowed yourself to slump forward against the counter, using your arms to brace yourself as you hung your head.  You were exhausted, and only had one more hour until you needed to close up shop.  That hour, though, seemed to stretch on terribly.  Despite the auction starting soon, people came in and out of your store until the very end, and you wound up having to shoo people out as you went to go lock the door, flipping the sign to a close.

       The night may be young, but you wanted nothing more than to go to bed.  Not even bothering to count the cash drawer, you had gone upstairs, kicking your shoes off and collapsing on your bed in the corner in a heap, sprawled messily.  A nice long rest was just what you needed...

       And what you apparently couldn't get.

       You didn't know how long you had been lying on the firm mattress, tossing and turning, but your earlier sleepiness had faded away into an annoying restlessness.  Your mind wouldn't stop racing about everything.  The blond.  Gon and Killua.  Chrollo.  Hisoka.  Had it really been only two days since your first interesting customer?  It felt like ages, and you glared up at the ceiling in irritation as if it was the problem for all of your troubles.

       Apparently, sleep wasn't about to come so easily.  After a moment of contemplation, you sat up, running your fingers through slightly tangled hair.  Holding out your other hand you brought up your hatsu with ease, summoning your book.  First, you brought up Killua and Gon.  Both seemed together on the outskirts of town, by Hisoka of all people.  A part of you felt concerned, but the stronger part of you insisted that this was none of your business.

       Next, you brought up Leorio and Zepile, who were also together.  Go figure - you weren't surprised that those two would hit it off.  

       You pulled up a couple of others you often kept tabs on.  The people you were most interested in were in other countries, and finally, you wound up on Chrollo's page.  He was on the move, slowly but surely - right by the auction house.

       Glancing over at the clock, you hummed.  You probably weren't going to fall asleep any time soon anyways, so why not go and sate your own curiosity?  As much as you hated anything dealing with the mafia, you were more interested in seeing what Chrollo was doing.

       Rolling off the bed and onto your feet, you knew you'd have to dress the part.  You weren't great with formalities, so there was a lack of black-tie clothes, but eventually you found a dress that would work.  Eventually, you found a black qipao dress, and deemed it good enough.  It had been quite a long time since you had worn it, but thankfully it still fit like a glove, clinging tightly to your body in all of the right places.

       The dress itself was completely black and floor length - usually, the style would be a problem, but the slits on the sides ran up to your thighs, helping with movement.  You had black spandex under the dress to prevent any wardrobe mishaps.  The trim of the dress and collar were a metallic gold, and the dress was sleeveless, the collar wrapping around like a halter - it would seem modest, if the qipao wasn't backless.  Across the front of the dress was a golden dragon wrapping around ferociously, its red eyes glinting like two rubies.  It could fetch a pretty penny if you sold it, not that you would ever - it was a gift from a precious friend from his home country.  You'd never get rid of it.

       Pairing the dress with black heels so sharp that they could double as weapons, and strapping a wicked-looking dagger to each thigh, you deemed yourself ready to go out.  You looked elegant, almost ethereal if you didn't say so yourself.

       Okay, maybe you were just being a bit vain.

       Pleased with how well put-together you managed to look, you summoned your book, reconfirming Chrollo's location before you started to head out.

       While the area you lived and worked in was shady, in the darker recesses of York New City where the occupants were no strangers to crime on a daily basis, the locals knew you well.  Better yet, they knew not to mess with you.  In a city teeming with scum, it was a useful trait to have, and you walked with your head high down the sidewalk.  It would make your trek to the auction houses and other mafia-owned buildings go without a hitch.

       Every so often, while walking, you'd draw your book out to make sure he hadn't left your destination.  The click-clack of your heels on the pavement echoed throughout the quiet streets.  Everybody was either outside or down at the auction - not many were brave or stupid enough to walk in this part of the city once the sun set.

       As the tall, pristine buildings came into view, you swiftly made your book disappear.  Instead, using your next hatsu, you tapped the side of your temple, glasses slowly appearing.

       Another facet of your hatsu.  Years of being an informant had helped you figure out what was useful and possible with your nen capabilities, creating the last third of your hatsu ability as an informant.  Instant Sight: not the best for gathering information on people, but it had its uses.  By using an enhanced version of gyo over your eyes in the form of fashion lens, you could detect heat signatures over nen presences.  You could also pick out people in a crowd that you had used your ability on before - while you couldn't gain anything from a complete stranger, if you saw somebody who was already in a book, their information would come up in the bottom of your lens.

       What you also liked about Instant Sight was the zoom option.  It wasn't limitless, that would be next to impossible, but you could zoom from a couple hundred meters away, treating your glasses as binoculars of a sort.

       And honestly, as useless as it was...  You had made it possible for them to change appearance.  That part literally had no other use other than cosmetics, but you couldn't blend in if you wore an elegant dress paired with clunky, bright red glasses.

       Both parts of Open Book were best at gathering information on people; Instant Sight, however, was best for gathering the layouts of buildings and coming up with infiltration plans.

       Scanning over the crowd with your lens, you felt the edges of your lips tug upwards as a name seemed to float upwards in the air over the very person you were looking for.  He was walking indoors with a shorter woman with blue hair, and you hummed.  You needed to get past the checkpoint, and didn't have the proper identification to get through.  A minor bump in the road.

       Casually walking up to one of the guards at the checkpoint, you attempted to give your most charming smile.  It honestly wasn't the best, you weren't a very charismatic individual, and it seemed to fall short anyways as the guard's face lit up in recognition.

       "Hey, you're the informant woma-- gak!"

       At his outburst, you had quickly brought your hand up, striking him in the neck and causing him to collapse and choke on his words.  You caught him with ease, just as a car was passing by and effectively concealing him and you from the others.  Talk about sheer luck - you hadn't eve thought about that.

       Slipping through alongside the car, you made it in.  You didn't even look back as you heard shouts of confusion about the guard.  If you looked back, that would surely raise suspicion, and besides - you were on a bit of a time crunch.

       Making it into the building, you used your glasses to read the heat signatures again, unable to hide the excited smile that was starting to morph onto your face.

       Sleeplessness aside, you had a feeling this evening was going to be quite eventful.

[lovemesomesurveys]

[zelthie]

What's were you doing before you got on the computer? Drinking coffee and watching TV.

Is there anything you really want right now? To not feel crappy would be nice.

What's the best gift you've ever gotten? I couldn’t possibly choose just one. 

What's a song you think the world needs to listen to? I don’t know.

Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? Nah.

Do you think you have a good understanding on love? I haven’t experienced the romantic kind still.

You just discovered a new color! What would you name it? I have no idea.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor? I’m not a big ice cream person, but I do like strawberry, mint chocolate chip, cookies and cream, and birthday cake. I haven’t had ice cream in years, though.

What do you want to do on your honeymoon? I don’t plan on getting married.

What's one thing you remember learning in school? The Fifty Nifty United States song. And all of the Grammar Rock from Schoolhouse Rock VHS tape. <<< Awww, yep I remember both. Those Schoolhouse Rock tapes really helped me with my multiplication as a kid and it’s cool how the states song stayed with me all these years later.

Are you more of a cat or dog person? Doggo.

How do you want to be remembered by people? I don’t need to be remembered by people. I’m sure my loved ones will remember me and that’s all that matters.

Do you like road trips? They can be fun, but long car rides are rough.

Do you think Medical Marijuana should be legalized? Yeah.

If you were forced to dye your hair another color, what color would you get? I don’t know... I really just want to keep dyeing it red.

Are you excited for anything? No.

What do you think of your parent(s)? I love my parents, they’re the best.

Are your grandparents dead? My maternal grandparents are, RIP. <3

What celebrity do you think should of never become famous? All the pervy, gross, bad ones out there, which unfortunately seems to be a lot.

What's your favorite thing to do online? Tumblr and YouTube.

If you could appear on any TV show, what show would you choose? Nah.

What does your full name look like without the letters t,a,i,o,e,l,n or s? I’ll just do my first name: Ph. 

Your mood summed up into one word? Shitty.

How often do you talk to other people about the weather? I bring it up most when it’s hot.

Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey right now? Not really. My TV is on, but it’s more background noise at the moment.

What's a name you wouldn't mind having? I’ll stick with mine.

What's your favorite thing to wear that you own? My leggings and graphic tees.

What do you think of Barbie dolls? I was obSESSED with Barbies as a kid.

When you were little, did you ever want to go to Disneyland? Yesss. I was fortunate to be able to go a few times. I still get just as excited as an adult. 

What's the first thing you thought in your head when you woke up today? I woke up to my brother handing me a Starbucks, ha so that was nice. He’s so sweet.

If your best friend confessed that they can see the future, you would...? I don’t believe in that, but I’d question them about it and hear what they had to say.

Write a random quote that comes to your head: Nah.

What's your opinion on milk chocolate? I like it, but white chocolate is better.

What about Dark Chocolate? Ew.

You do know that white chocolate isn't even really chocolate, right? I don’t care.

Do you get annoyed when surveys mention a band you\'ve never heard of? No.

What's your opinion about Katy Perry's song "I kissed a girl"? I remember how risque that was considered at the time lol. People were like *gasp!* She what???

What's your least favorite pizza topping? I’m super picky and basic, so I don’t like any other toppings besides what I put on mine, which are white sauce, cheese (preferably feta and ricotta, but I’m not picky about the cheese), garlic, spinach, green onions, and crumbled meatballs if they have it.

What would you do if you discovered the US was now drafting for the war? I have a physical disability, so I’m out of the running but I’d be terrified about my brother getting drafted.

Are you even living in America, or are you from another country? Yes, I live in the US.

What's your favorite social website? Tumblr and Twitter.

Do you believe in heaven? If so, what's it like? If not, why? Yes. I’ve never been, obviously, but I imagine it to be like how the Bible describes it to be.

What's your favorite video game? Mario Bros games will always be a favorite.

In your opinion, is Bzoink the best place to find fun surveys? I never go on there myself, but a few fellow survey takers on here seem to find a lot of surveys there that I then steal from them, ha.

What's your opinion of high school? It had its ups and downs. The first two years were rough for me.

Do you prefer the country or city? I like both, but I think I prefer living in the city. I’ve never lived in the country, though, so I can’t say for sure.

Texting: Is it fun, evil, boring, or none of the above? I don’t text much at all, I’d just say it’s convenient and preferred over talking on the phone.

What email service do you use for your main (or only) email account? Yahoo.

What's your favorite dumb pick-up line? *shrug*

What are your plans for the next 48 hours? Same things as always.

Did you ever read "Captain Underpants" when you were little? No, I was older when those came out. My lil bro loved ‘em, though.

What's better: The old Cartoon Network, or the new one? Or do you not care? I’d say the old, for sure. I don’t know wth happened to that channel, mainly the Adult Swim segment. Like seriously, what. the. fuck.

Disney Channel shows are all pretty cheesy, aren't they? I’m definitely biased, but Disney Channel growing up and in my teen years was waaaaay better. I haven’t watched it in several years now, but I feel like the shows for kids and teens nowadays are super cringe.

What's your opinion on the Jonas Brothers? I’m a fan, but I was a huge fan in my teen years. I’ve kept up with them as a group and their solo and side projects all this time.

What are some of your favorite singers/bands? I have a lot.

Why do the lead singers in bands always get the most recognition? Because they’re the voice and face of the band. I think the other members certainly should get their recognition, too, though. They all together make up the band and its sound.

Did you ever believe in the Tooth Fairy? Yeah.

What's your favorite type of weather? Fall and winter weather.

What's your opinion on reading books? I love reading.

You're given a chance to act in a Hollywood blockbuster! Would you accept? Nooo.

What it if it was a movie directed by Tim Burton?(He directed Sweeney Todd) I enjoy his work, but still no. It wouldn’t matter who was directing it.

How do you feel about Taco Bell? I like it. It’s been awhile since I’ve had it, though. I went through a major Taco Bell phase a few years ago and was getting it all the time. 

Are you hungry right now? Yes.

How often do you go on to YouTube? Everyday. I spend a lot of time on there, mainly for ASMR videos, but also other stuff I like to watch. Usually while I’m eating I like to catch up on some videos.

It's possible to be addicted to anything... What are you addicted to? Caffeine.

What's your opinion of Walgreens? I like it. My mom also works there.

Back when Spongebob Squarepants was famous, were you interested in it? Not really. I just watched it here and there cause my lil bro was into it. There were quotable moments I liked, though.

What's your dream pet? I love having doggos.

You see a mermaid while relaxing on the beach with friends. What now? lol I’d just assume it was a group of people chillin’ with mermaid tails. You can buy blankets or costume pieces like that, so.

Who's been your favorite teacher growing up, and why? My 4th and 8th grade teacher, Mr. McG.

When you were little, did you ever like Pokemon? I did have a brief Pokemon phase. I collected the cards, too.

How often do you get headaches? Not often at all, so when I do - they really tend to hurt pretty badly. <<< That’s how mine are. I’ve been sick this past week and headaches have been apart of that, unfortunately, and they haven’t been fun. I can’t take anything for them either, which really sucks.

Do you have any songs stuck in your head right now? If so, what? That new Wendy’s jingle, “Bag alert, major bag alert.” That commercial comes on constantly and that’s literally the only words to the jingle. It’s annoying.

[purplesurveys]

994

Basic Information

What's your name? Name’s already posted on my Tumblr but so that nobody has to check that anymore, Robyn.

Where do you live? I live in some city east of Manila, and that’s all you need to know.

When's your birthday? April 21st.

What's your astrological sign? Taurus.

Do you actually believe in that stuff? Never did.

How old are you? 22.

Do you have a high school diploma or the equivalent? Yeah I got a diploma.

Do you have an undergraduate degree? If so, in what? Yup. I’ve graduated but I haven’t received the diploma nor did I get to walk on a stage because of the stupid virus, but I majored in journalism.

What is your favorite...

Quote? I don’t have any. My brain doesn’t really store quotes for me to go back to; I don’t find the majority of them interesting.

Color? My main favorite is pink, but I enjoy looking at pastel shades and muted colors in general too.

Song? Picking an all-time favorite song is impossible, but for now I really like putting Hayley Williams’ Why We Ever on repeat. It used to be just a sad song that I love listening to but unfortunately the lyrics have since become relatable, so now there’s a sting whenever I hear it.

Band/singer? My favorite bands are Paramore and Against Me! while my favorite solo act is Beyoncé.

Book? I never had one. I was a big bookworm as a kid, but I didn’t get to keep it up as a teenager and now as an adult. Most of the books I own today are still just the novels I had nearly a decade ago, and it’s been a struggle trying to find a genre to get into.

Author? Same situation as book.

School subject? History. A lot of the social sciences are also great – anthropology, pol sci, psychology, etc. In another universe I definitely would’ve taken up a degree in a social science instead of journalism.

Science (chemistry, biology, physics, etc.)? Biology has always been a strength of mine and a favorite. I find memorizing terms fun, and I’ve always enjoyed studying living things instead of chemicals or energy or force or any of that boring stuff. 

Math (algebra, geometry, calculus, etc.)? Advanced algebra is fun. So is geometry, but only as long as you know all the formulas and theories; otherwise it’s so easy to fail it.

Language? I don’t have one. I think all languages are individually beautiful.

Operating system? Wow this is random lol. macOS, I guess. It’s what I’m using.

Instrument? I like the sound of many instruments, but in the grand scheme of things the piano has to be my absolute favorite.

Letter? I don’t pick a favorite letter.

Number? 4.

Car? I don’t know the first thing about cars but I suppose my dream car is a Mini Countryman, if that counts as a favorite. I swoon every time I see one in real life; they’re just so pretty to look at.

Pattern (polka spots, stripes, plaid, etc.)? Stripes are my cup of tea, but polka dots are also cute.

Word? The word that’s been my favorite for a while is ‘poignant.’

Animal? I love animals, but I’m biased to dogs and elephants. :)

Country? I don’t have a favorite country. That’s a pretty odd favorite but *shrug* I guess some people have theirs.

Drink (alcoholic or otherwise)? Water, milkshakes, and cocktails.

Food? Sushi, curry, cheeseburgers, and macarons. You can’t make me go with just one choice when it comes to food, my dude.

Restaurant? Yabu and Torch.

Website? I rely a lot on YouTube for my sanity these days so it’d be fair to call that my favorite, at least for the meantime.

Sport? If it counts, pro wrestling. If it doesn’t, I like playing table tennis and watching volleyball and tennis.

Flower? Peonies, roses, and sunflowers.

Ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream is a classic.

Television show? Breaking Bad is my favorite ever, but I also enjoy Friends, The Crown, and Bojack Horseman, and at one point The Walking Dead before it got honestly boring.

Shirt? I don’t really have a favorite shirt, but my favorite type to wear is anything sleeveless. I like giving my skin air to breathe, lol.

Shape? I don’t pick favorite shapes.

Eye color? Olive is beautiful.

Hair color? I’m indifferent to hair colors. Whatever suits a person.

Movie? Two for the Road and Good Will Hunting.

Gum flavor? Fruity ones.

Random Stuff About You

Do you have your drivers' license? Yeah. I had to get it as soon as I graduated high school because no one else was going to be able to bring me to school in college. I was in driving school like a week or two after marching on stage for my high school diploma haha.

Have you ever been swimming in an ocean? I don’t know if I have. In the vacations I’ve had, I don’t really keep track if I’m swimming in a sea or if I’m already in one of the oceans.

What's the last song you listened to? No clue but it was probably something by Hayley.

Do you prefer coloring pencils, crayons, or markers? Coloring pencils! I miss coloring. I just can’t see myself going back to it at the moment because I had bought a really cheap set of coloring pencils that have to be sharpened every five minutes. During my coloring phase I’m pretty sure I spent more time sharpening my pencils than actually filling in my coloring books. I’ve yet to find a replacement set with better quality.

Can you make any origami figures? If so, what? I’m terrible at origami and have always been. Even if I’m given a one-on-one session, I’ll for sure get lost early on in the process.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? I never did. I always preferred pillows.

Do you get cold easily? I do haha, but I don’t mind it. I’d rather shiver or have my teeth chatter than have a pool of sweat on the back of my shirt from being too hot.

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Nope.

Do you have great eyesight, or do you wear glasses or contacts? It’s very poor. I’ve had glasses since I was 11, but I needed them a lot earlier, like since I was 8 or 9 maybe. My mom refused to believe me when I started telling her my vision was getting worse because she legitimately thought I just wanted glasses to look like other kids. God, how shitty was that parenting? I can’t believe I just fucking let that go as a kid. My eyesight was getting increasingly blurry by the day and I stopped learning at school and her worry was that I wanted to fit in. I’m gonna get more stressed and hurt if I continue to think about this, so let’s just move on...

Do you know how to play chess? Never learned. I’ve watched my cousin play and he tried to teach me so many times, but I just never understood.

Do you know how to play checkers? At one point I think I did, but I didn’t enjoy it.

Do you like Sudoku puzzles? No. I never got the hang of that game either.

Do you like word searches? Love them.

Do you like crossword puzzles? They’re fine but the ones on our newspapers are too hard and use too many references or plays on words that I’m not able to pick up.

Do you like logic puzzles? It’s a hit or miss.

Can you play any card games? Other than solitaire, no.

Do you play board games? Hmm I played some as a kid, but I’ve always been too competitive and I’m never able to just sit down and have a friendly game so I’m not too big on board games now. I’m a lot happier sitting on the sidelines and watching my friends play because it’s more entertaining that way.

Do you do jigsaw puzzles? Not normally but I’ve been thinking of investing in one of those 1000-piece puzzles to take my mind off of things whenever I get depressed or when my mind starts to think about things it shouldn’t.

Do you listen to the same song on repeat for a long time, even occasionally? Yes. Sometimes I do it on purpose when I’m REALLY feeling a certain song at the moment; other times I don’t even realize the repeat button is turned on and I don’t notice I’ve been listening to the same song over and over.

Do you take any prescription medications on a regular basis? Nope.

Would you prefer to be too hot or too cold? I’ve said this a few questions ago, but too cold.

Do you like to swim? Sure. Being in the water calms me down instantly.

Have you ever been to a farm? I’ve probably been. I just can’t pinpoint a certain memory right now.

Do you like instrumental music? Depends on what the genre is, but I do generally prefer instrumental music when I’m working or have to focus.

Do you drink diet soda? Nope.

Do you drink soda? Andddddd nope.

Have you ever put Mentos into soda? I haven’t but I know what it does. There’s already like a million videos of other people doing it so I don’t need to do it for myself. 

Have you ever combined baking soda and vinegar? No.

Did you ever make Oobleck in science class when you were a kid? We never did and I learned about oobleck from watching a Good Mythical Morning episode, not in school. But I’ve always been curious as to what the texture is because it looks so fun to touch hahaha. I’d try making it myself but idk if we ever have cornstarch at home.

Do you know any HTML? Yes. Early days of Tumblr, man. People customized their themes and text posts all the time.

Have you ever read any of Shakespeare's work? Well, yeah. I had to read four of them - one for each year in high school.

Do you write poetry? No.

Do you read? Occasionally. A lot less than I used to.

Can you throw a frisbee? Sure. My friends and I played back in high school.

Do you watch a lot of television? Eh, not really. It’s rare that I discover a TV series I’m willing to invest in; I’ve always preferred movies since they can tell me a story within 2-3 hours. Following an ongoing show is just exhausting.

Do you think that you have a good sense of humor? Humor is subjective. I could mesh well with certain people but others might not find my sense of humor funny. I don’t think either of those can determine if my sense of humor is good or not.

Are you a mean person? Well, I try not to be...I think that’s what most people strive to do.

Do you have any bruises? If so, how did you get them? I have one on my knee because a few days ago I knelt to the floor to try to look for something under my bed, and I ended up landing on the floor quite hard and it was purple in minutes lmao. It’s mostly healed now though and I can barely tell where it is.

Does the thought of public speaking make you nervous? It only does if I ultimately also have to pitch something, because I don’t consider myself persuasive at all. But if I had had something memorized or had enough practice or if it’s a topic I’m fairly knowledgable about then I don’t have much of a problem with it.

Are you afraid of heights? It doesn’t bother me as much as other things and I’ve always wanted to go to the top floor of those towers where the floor is glass lol, but like I’d absolutely piss my pants if I found myself standing on a tightrope between two really tall buildings.

So, what ARE you afraid of? Flying cockroaches, plane crashes, and fire.

Are you listening to music? No.

Has anyone ever called you 'disturbed'? I don’t think so, at least not to my face.

Have you ever been kicked out of a place? If so, where? And why? Yeah. From a McDonald’s, but it was my noisy friends’ fault. I knew they were being loud (they were playing some card game) so I just stayed at the very edge of our table, pretended not to be associated with them and waited for a customer to complain about us lol. Normally I’d speak up and tell friends if they’re being too immature, but in that friend group in particular I was the shyest and didn’t really hold a lot of influence so I didn’t have much of a choice.

Do you take a lot of these surveys? Yeah I have this entire blog dedicated to just them, and even before this account I had another survey blog.

When was the last time you fingerpainted? No idea. Kindergarten maybe? If we even ever did?

When was the last time you sent an e-mail? Yesterday afternoon.

A text message? 1 AM earlier.

Called someone on the phone? I think it was around two weeks ago.

Tripped over something? I’m sure I tripped over Kimi fairly recently, like sometime this week.

Do you like chocolate? Sure but on its own it can be too sweet for me, like the Hershey’s milk chocolate bar. I do love chocolate-flavored stuff or if it’s incorporated into other meals or snacks, like chocolate chip cookies.

How many pillows are on your bed? Right now there aren’t any because I brought the two pillows, that I do normally have on my bed, to my desk where I’m currently sitting at.

Do you have any pets? Yeah one of them is licking their balls behind me. The other one is probably playing with their toys downstairs and miraculously being quiet this morning.

Have you ever been on a horse? Yep.

Have you ever climbed a tree? I don’t think so. Most trees here have fire ants anyway.

Do you like art? Sure do.

Do you use any sort of social networking site? I mean normally yeah, but I’ve deactivated all my accounts for the meantime. Depression is a bitch. I’m no longer updated on the news nor am I familiar with the trendy memes anymore but idk, this seems to be the healthiest thing for me right now.

What time is it? 9:11 AM.

Have you ever been in a car accident? Super minor ones where the car I was in only got a paint scratch or, at worst, a dent or two.

When was the last time you felt embarrassed? Yesterday when I almost sent a message talking about a certain person to that certain person. It was nothing mean, but I was horrified nonetheless.

Did it rain today? No. I’m not sure if it will but I hope it does.

Have you ever had a poison ivy rash? No. When was the last time you felt immensely happy? LOL Do you take a multivitamin or any other supplement? We have vitamin C tablets at home but I’m so bad at taking them. What household chore do you absolutely hate? Washing rags. Not really a chore, but once they get all dirty and I have to clean them up it just feels so icky and ueughdhffgbduifhsuf Tell me something random about yourself. I’ve won a couple of spicy noodle speed eating challenges. Can you cook? No, but I’d love to learn. Do you like to be silly? I’m a little more serious than silly for the most part...but when I’m in the right mood at the right time with the right crowd, I can be silly too. What kinds of things have you wanted to be 'when you grow up'? The first was astronaut. Then I came across this interview with a veterinarian and I wanted to be one too. Lastly, a firefigher. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah, lots of times. Sometimes it’s the only way to get to certain provinces or cities in the country so we’ve had to take boats for a few trips. Do/did you like school? For the most part, yes. I like that I made a lot of friends in school and I don’t have complaints about learning. What I hated the most about school is the scheduling, I guess. In my first school I had to wake up at 5 AM everyday to catch the school bus; and then in college I had to take several 7 AM classes and those were just the biggest, most inconvenient bitches. I also did not enjoy the concept of Catholic school. Do you have a camera? I used to have a DSLR but I’ve since handed it down to my sister since she’s taking up film. The camera on my phone works just fine. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? I don’t think so.

Have you ever seen a wild snake? I don’t really know what counts as a ‘wild’ snake but I’ve handled and held snakes before. Have you ever gone hiking in the woods? Hmm I’ve gone hiking, but not in the woods. Do you have a lot of friends? There’s a lot of people I can call friends, yes. We aren’t constantly in touch, though. All my friendships are super low-maintenance which I appreciate. Do you keep a diary/journal/blog? I have a journal and this blog where I write my thoughts and emotions down. What color are your eyes? Dark brown. Answering this yet again this week... Do you like snow? I’ve never experienced it so I can’t say. I think I would enjoy snow though. I feel that I’d be able to find comfort in it, like rain. Would you prefer to sing or dance in front of other people? Both sound awful. But I’d go with sing because at least I don’t have to move my body as much. Would you prefer to sing or dance when you're by yourself? Sing.

Can you spell really well? I’d say I can. I was really inspired by the movie Akeelah and the Bee as a kid and that made me want to be constantly good at spelling. Do you mind poor grammar? If it’s coming from a native speaker of whatever language, yeah. Like people who can only speak English but still use ‘would of’ or ‘I could care less.’ I’m more forgiving towards people who speak one language, or those who are speaking in a language they know they aren’t 100% fluent in. What's your favorite texting/IM abbreviation? I don’t have one. ‘lol’ I guess? It’s convenient. Do you wear a watch? No. Do you shop at thrift stores? Sometimes, if I find their offers interesting enough for me to want to go inside. What is your dream job? It’s pretty straightforward but it’d be nice to be able to work my way up and end up as an executive at a PR or media agency that I look up to. What is one thing that really freaks you out? Charlie Kaufman movies. Do you like bananas? They’re okay. I don’t hate bananas as aggressively as I do other fruits. Do you eat meat? Yes. Do you drink coffee? Yuh. I can go for a cup right now, actually...maybe when I finish this survey. Do you clean your computer screen often? Not often. Just every once in a while or once I start seeing too many smudges. Have you ever sneezed onto your computer screen? Probably.

Let's talk about numbers.

How many people live with you?

Four. We also have two animals.

136+95=...?

231. That’s essentially 136 + 100 - 5.

How many digits of pi do you have memorized?

Just the first five.

Can you count using binary numbers?

No. Never understood those, not interested enough to start learning.

How many states have you visited?

Zero.

How many countries?

Six. Would’ve been seven or even eight if Covid never blew up. I know my dad mentioned there were plans for us to go to Vietnam this year, and I also asked for a Thailand trip as a graduation present. Damn bat soup or whatever it was.

How many browser windows/tabs do you have open?

I have three Chrome windows in total. On the one I’m on, there are 13 tabs.

How many times have you blinked in the past minute?

I dunno, I never count that?

How many seconds are in a minute?

60.

Are you afraid of mathematics?

Calculus and trig, yeah. The other ones aren’t so bad.

What's the square root of 121? 11.

Sorry, sorry, the nightmare is over :) How about some more random questions to let you relax?

Have you ever read the webcomic xkcd?

I doubt it. I don’t think I’ve heard of it before.

Can you play an instrument?

Barely.

Can you read sheet music?

Not a chance.

What's your favorite kind of sandwich?

Monte Cristo! Omg, that sounds so good right now :( Banh mi is great too.

Do you have a bedtime?

Not strictly but I always try to get 7-8 hours of sleep on weeknights so that I’m sufficiently energized for work the next day.

Have you ever gone sledding?

No, I haven’t.

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? If so, what kind of face did you make?

Also no.

Do you ever make funny faces at yourself in the mirror?

I guess it’s happened before, but it’s not a regular occurrence.

Have you ever played the classic shaving-cream-in-the-hand prank on someone?

No.

Do you think that's a mean thing to do?

I don’t think that prank in particular is since shaving cream is harmless, but some pranks can definitely go too far which is why I’m generally not a fan of them.

Do you like cake?

Only very certain types. I can think of more cakes that I don’t like than the ones I can never get tired of.

Do you like pie?

Just savory ones, like chicken pot pie. Those are more up my alley than sweet pies, which are for the most part stuffed with a kind of fruit.

Do you like popsicles?

Sure, they’re refreshing.

Do you use the television or computer more?

Laptop.

Do you have a favorite chair to sit in?

Not really lolAre you getting tired of this survey?

It’s lengthy but I knew about it when I started this so I can’t complain about that; and the questions haven’t been annoying too so no, I wouldn’t say I’m tired of it.

Do you like to wear hats? When I have the chance to, yeah. They’re never a must for me though.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?

Most of the time no. Oops.

Do your shoes provide lots of arch support?

I...don’t know. I don’t really pay attention.

Do you like to go to yard sales? I haven’t gone to one since I was a kid.

Have you ever had a yard sale at your house? I don’t think we ever did.

Do you like apples? I like some apple-flavored things like juice or candy. I can’t stand the actual fruit but y’all know that by now, haha.

Do you like peanut butter? Yessssssss. I love peanut butter and any peanut butter-flavored food.

Do you like licorice? Not really. They’re not common here so I don’t seek it out.

Do you like lima beans? It doesn’t sound like something I’d enjoy.

Do you like limes? Not particularly.

What color are your bedroom walls? White.

Guess how many questions you've done. I don't know either, so just guess. Before clicking on it I saw it had 200 or so questions, so I’m guessing we’re at the 180 or 190 mark considering how many questions are left below this.

What's your favorite color to wear? I feel prettiest in dark green or maroon. Do you tell secrets when people confide in you? I’m not sure what this is supposed to be asking, but I’ll give two answers. (1) I don’t spill other people’s secrets when they confide in me, and (2) When people confide in me, sometimes I’ll be inspired to share a secret of my own too, especially if it’s relevant to their situation. If I don’t think it’s going to be helpful, I just keep it to myself. Do you listen to your music with the volume up really high? Only when I’m extremely upset or furious. Do you like to try new foods? Absolutely. How many different programs are you currently using? Like applications? Currently, I have Chrome, Viber, and Notes turned on. How many different operating systems have you used? I’ve gone through Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 8, and then whatever updates have been done on macOS since 2015 - I don’t really keep track of their names lol. What time is it now? 12:03 PM. Are you wearing socks? Nope. Are you comfortable with yourself? These days, no. Do you lose small things (like your car keys) often? Hah, yes. Is your mind in the gutter? No. Have you ever broken a bone? I haven’t. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? I’m a healthy mix of both, I’d say. Which is still a great improvement for me because I used to be an introvert all the way through. Do you read the dictionary for fun? I literally did this for a time right after watching Akeelah and the Bee and having that movie change my life. It made me want to join a shit ton of spelling bees, but my interest waned when I realized there weren’t any being held here.  Tater tots or fries? Fries, only because I’ve never had the first. Do you like to wear flip flops? No. The thongs irritate my skin all the time and they always give me wounds. Are you more of an optimist or pessimist? I’m normally optimistic but it’s easier to be pessimistic nowadays. Do you like animals? Yes :) Do you like little kids? If they aren’t being a giant, rude pain in the ass. Are you a 'people person'? Yes. If I can’t satisfy everyone it bothers me. Have you ever seen a rainbow? Sure. How was your day? I haven’t cried today but I’m still sad. Otherwise, I don’t have a lot of strong feelings about this day just yet. What do you plan to do tomorrow? I don’t know yet. When was the last time you did laundry? Around two or three months ago. Have you ever played Snake? On the really old Nokia phones? For sure. Have you ever played Scrabble? Yeah. I took it up for one semester as a PE, hahaha. I also played it a lot when I was younger. Are there any television commercials that really get on your nerves? At the moment no, but this has happened many times before. Do you like scary movies? Sure. Are you itchy anywhere on your body? The left side of my forehead started to feel itchy when I read this. What's the title of the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Do you read more fiction or nonfiction books? Nonfictionnnnnnn. Are you a member of any clubs or organizations? I used to be, but now I’m an alumna because I’ve graduated college. What color is your favorite pair of socks? I don’t have a favorite pair. Do you own a lava lamp? No. Do you have anything else to say? Thanks for serving as a distraction and letting me kill some time.

[boku-no-loveletters]

Hello!! Could I get a match up with the league villains?🥺 I’m 170cm tall, I’m skinny (sadly I’m shaped like the letter I and rll self conscious ab it) I have shoulder length brown hair with two blonde stripes in the front, grey eyes. I’m a mix of a calm and logical person and a childish person with dumb jokes who can’t even sit still. I luv playing video games, reading, drawing. I usually wear dark oversized clothes or baggy pants with small tops. I’m european so my accent is rll thicc.Thank u!

Hey, what’s up? Hope you enjoy your match-up!

I matched you up with…

Shigaraki!

He's feral but I loved him since the beginning

-Now there are actually multiple reasons as to why I matched you up with Shigaraki, one of them being the fact that you are calm and logical but still allowing yourself to be loose and crack a few jokes sometimes. I think Shigaraki would respect that and probably admire your humor.

-Being calm and logical around Shigaraki is important, because he has very heavy mood-swings and being able to keep your composure if he switches dispositions will earn his approval. And while that is important, Shigaraki would probably also enjoy a carefree soul, so if you have the tendency to slip a dirty joke in on a conversation and make him crack a smile then you’re on the right path.

-The chances of you and him running into each other would either be by pure chance or an unintended every day occurrence. He could be a casual looking citizen who you have no idea is walking around in the streets with other people or he could be the one who was responsible for holding you captive. In an accident.

Well shit.

This is how it ends, huh? Being restrained in a villain warehouse where nobody will find you after they strip you of your skin and throw you out the door faster than you could say ‘sorry’?

Not to mention, earlier you kept thinking that nothing bad was going to happen today. That everything was going to be sugar and rainbows, that it was all going to be fine. But you were oh, so wrong.

"You fucking jinxed it, you idiot," you growled to yourself before attempting to slam the large and heavy cuffs on your wrist down on the metal chains dangling from your ankle.

But it didn’t budge, you reeled back the both of your wrists and tried again, still to no avail.

To be honest, you had absolutely no idea as to why you were being held here in this crappy makeshift hideout against your will. One minute, you were simply walking out of your apartment going to get some much-needed groceries from the store, and the next thing you know, you're being stabbed with a needle in your neck before blacking out completely.

Snarling in disappointment, you took a deep breath and then slumped down to your knees with your back facing the wall. After your little endeavor at trying to break free, your body temperature flared up and made you more heated up than normal. You must be getting sick or something because it was either you or the bands on your wrist making you burn up!

But the metal of the room surrounding you was unusually cold and so you used that to your advantage and turned gently, making sure to press as much skin to the wall as you could. The chilled and smooth surface helped immensely as you felt the searing hot sensation fade away.

You sat for a moment, feeling a wave of drowsiness hit your senses as you continued to be still.

How long have you been out? Would it be appropriate if you were to fall asleep again? Well, it's not like you were going anywhere soon and it certainly didn't feel like it was going to harm you if you got any sleep.

So you did. You closed your eyes deliberately before shifting into a more comfortable position and getting some well-earned sleep, hoping to have some sort of good dream before dwelling into your death.

But unfortunately, your time had come sooner than expected. Because as immediately as you tried to gain some repose, a soft click could be heard echoing across the room as the door unlocked to reveal a pale hand lightly opening the large ingot door leading to the entrance.

The pale hand followed up to unveil the shape of a man dressed in a plain black trench coat and tacky dress pants with multiple detached hands on different parts of his clothed limbs. Three were seated on each arm and his shoulders had one individually while his neck and the back of his head had one apiece. The most interesting one, however, was the single hand obscuring his identity from your view.

You could see he was dangerous. Not just because of the limbs, but rather the ominous demeanor he held over his presence and the fact that he seems fully aware of your current situation.

Not long after he had walked in was he followed by two other figures. One was a male with jet-black hair in another simple black jacket and matching pants with various amounts of marks and staples decorating his scarred body and the other was a shorter female. Her ash-blonde hair was loosely wrapped in twin buns, strands of wild stray hairs centering in different angles as two fringes on each side of her face framed her oddly innocent looking appearance as she donned a plain seifuku with a regular Kansai collar.

The greyish-blueish haired male mentioned beforehand was staged in the center of the room and the two other people, which you assumed to be his associates, positioned themselves each on one side of him.

Silence enveloped the room, the heavy steps of their shoes coming to a stop as they gained sight of your poor, slightly hunched figure.

He then clasped his hands behind his back before turning, what you thought to be, his gaze to the other walls. His back faced you as his accomplices kept their eyes fixed on you, watching your every movement so that you didn’t aim to escape.

“So, ” he began, “Do you know why you were brought here for?”

You shook your head no as you tried to keep your cool, already feeling the tension in the room rise by the minute. The burning sensation from a while ago returned and grew from warm to nauseating as it quickly surrounded your senses. Sweat began dripping down your forehead as your stomach did reoccurring backflips.

You could almost feel the other two burn their eyes into your torso, internally gnawing at your emotions despite their placid expressions.

He simply hummed before returning his sight on you, his hands still not leaving their positions as he took a few strides in your direction and stopped a couple of centimeters away from your feet.

You lifted your head to gape directly at the hand covering his face and from the side of your perception, you could make out a pair of piercing blood-red orbs. The wicked glint in his eyes threatening to make you lose your composure, as he then backed away to give you some space. Much to your relief as you released a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

You internally quivered as you let your gaze drop to the floor before hearing a heavy sigh of what appeared to be..frustration?

"There has appeared to have been a mistake made. You are not whom I intended to be after." he finally spoke, the stillness after was deafening.

"The idiots out there must have grabbed the wrong woman," he emphasized, " A woman with brunette hair, just like you."

You raised your head and suddenly put up the largest grin you could muster at the moment. Your whole dampened attitude instantly lighting up at the possibility to live another day and forget all about this encounter.

"But, another problem strikes the current situation at hand. We simply can't let you free and go off telling another hero about our location, " he defined as your smile began to falter.

"So we'll give you three options. We'll let you go scot-free and you keep your mouth shut while my subordinates check in on you from time to time, you join the league free of surveillance and a life free of heroes, or you die at the hands of my comrades?"

"Wait...You're giving me a choice? For real?" you questioned, "You're not just going to kill me?

"No, I am not, " he answered, "Why would I? It'd be a waste and sweeping up the ashes of another dead person and concealing the evidence is enough work already."

You shivered in fear but still hummed in agreement, yet slightly suspicious of this man's intentions but not willing or bold enough to question his motives. So you went with the safest alternative, they let you go and kept an eye on you while you continued to live out your daily life in semi-peace.

"The first choice," you replied confidently. "I don't want to be involved in you guy's problem and I'm sure the other option is self-explanatory, Mr. Handyman."

He simply chuckled dryly in response to your joke before looking at you once more and snapping his fingers, then everything went black.

-You were knocked out, again. Though the next time you woke up, you found yourself in your living room laying on the couch unharmed. You checked you wrists to find that the cuffs of your restraints left a mark deep in your skin as it burned a bright sweltering red. You didn’t notice a bright piece of yellow paper sticking to your chest until you brushed your fingers over your collarbone. A neon lemon sticky note was attached to your shirt, you ripped it off and examined it closely. It said…

-Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open, we’ll be watching you.

-And so you didn’t really sleep that night because of both the LOV and the fact that you had taken more than the usual amounts of naps you were prone to take during your free time. But other than that you continued on with your life and moved on, almost forgetting your previous encounter with the S rank villain.

-The next time you had met him was when he arrived about a month later and by that time you had nearly forgotten all about what happened back there. So when he came to check up on your status and making sure you weren’t attempting to leave the country, he was surprised to find you living comfortably with no sign of your apartment faltering and in poor conditions.

-He knocked and waited patiently, his casual black hood and oddly bright red sneakers helped concealed his identity as he stood still. He had imagined that you thought that you were being left along, that you would trembled beneath his gaze again. But when you opened the door to reveal yourself, you just stared at him.

-You stood there trying to remember who this man was, but he didn’t say anything and instead pushed you aside and made himself at home. He walked to your living room and plopped himself on the couch before removing the hood from his head.

- “Oh, yeah Mr.Handyman”

-You didn’t say anything and instead switched the TV on. You sat down next to him as you felt his eyes burn holes into your back.

-And that’s how it went on for weeks, Shigaraki would always come up to your place to ‘Check and make sure you’re not alerting anyone’ and basically just hang out. The probability of him actually getting comfortable would take somewhere around 2-3 months once he realizes you’re not a threat.

-He won’t even do that much except lounge around and play video games with you, it’s not that villainous except for when he threatens you.

-I think that Shigaraki would enjoy playing video games with you as long as you let him win sometimes. He’s extremely petty so if you won three times in a row and haven't let him get in on a victory , he’ll probably make a fuss about it and not play for awhile. If you’re drawing or reading and not paying attention to him, that’ll probably get on his nerves a little bit too.

-He’s a dick. And yes, that’s something to worry about.

-Love…what is that? Sounds disgusting. Shigaraki is not that emotionally intelligent due to the fact that he had been deprived of tenderness the majority of his childhood so having someone act normal around him and unintentionally be kind to him makes him feel…weird. He doesn’t understand what the warm feeling in his chest is and why it makes him stir.

-You can make him crack a smile. You can make him laugh with your corny jokes and lift up his spirit after a bad day. He doesn’t know what it is, but he likes it and wants all of it.

-So the next time he had come in, he had told you about what kind of odd effect you had on him as he described it in the most surreal way he could say it. When you explained the feelings to him, you had also suggested dating to which he agreed after he had a proper grip on what he had just been told.

-Now Shigaraki has not received a lot of affection from his family during his childhood, only his mother and sister has provided him with physical endearment so that will obviously have an impact on his behavior now that he realizes how touch-starved he’s been.

-He will not however, under no circumstances, put his hands on you unless the situation calls for it or you gave him permission to. He does not want the same incident to happen to his significant other as it did his family. That’s the reason why he starts slightly trembling, which could be indicating a panic attack (as I imagined him to have a handful of episodes already.

-So If that happens, then you’d have to use your rationality and be careful. Get his special gloves and calm him down through the emotional episodes.

-I don't think the rest of LOV would mind you, Dabi wouldn't care about you at all but would still keep an eye on you while Toga and Twice ;-; would make small talk with you.

-So Shigaraki and you are more than a perfect fit, your personality traits don’t exactly clash but instead pick up where another one falls down! Your decisiveness and rationality along with your humor and liveliness helps balance you on the scale whereas Shigaraki’s standoffish and aloof position keep you both on your feet.

So I hope you liked this match-up! Writing the clip for this one was fun!

@idontknowuwu3

[forsetti]

On The Myth of American Individualism

In light of people completely, and sometimes arrogantly, defying public health recommendations to address a pandemic in the name of “Freedom” and “American Individualism, I thought I'd repost this article I wrote in 2012.

Recently, New York Times resident hack pundit, David Brooks, wrote an article arguing that Republicans are the party that “celebrates work and inflames enterprise”.  The GOP come from a long lineage of hard working, God fearing individualists that can be traced back through American history from Mitt Romney to the first Pilgrim who stood, buckled shoed, atop Plymouth Rock. Here are his opening two paragraphs: “The American colonies were first settled by Protestant dissenters. These were people who refused to submit to the established religious authorities. They sought personal relationships with God. They moved to the frontier when life got too confining. They created an American creed, built, as the sociologist Seymour Martin Lipset put it, around liberty, individualism, equal opportunity, populism and laissez-faire.

This creed shaped America and evolved with the decades. Starting in the mid-20th century, there was a Southern and Western version of it, formed by ranching Republicans like Barry Goldwater, Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush. Their version drew on the traditional tenets: ordinary people are capable of greatness; individuals have the power to shape their destinies; they should be given maximum freedom to do so.”

For Brooks, America was built by hard working people who cowered from a smiting God, lived like Ted Kaczynski , didn’t accept handouts and loved the soft reach around from the Invisible Hand.  From this great tradition sprouted great men who were the salt of the earth, ordinary men who lived off the fruits of the sweat of their brow.  People like Mitt Romney and George W. Bush, two men who grew up in luxury, went to topflight prep schools and colleges, were able to walk into business with a long list of powerful, influential people already in their contact lists and didn’t fuck up and when they did, had other doors and opportunities open for them because of who they are and who they knew.  I highly doubt that John Q. Colonialist could get a government bailout to safe his business (Romney) or have one failed business after another yet have people willing to throw money and opportunities at you over and over again (Bush).  

On the claim that Republicans are the party of work and this tradition has been passed down from John Smith and Patrick Henry to Laura Ingalls Wilder and Belle Starr, I call “Bullshit!”  This country was discovered, settled, expanded, progressed and rose to the world’s greatest economic power because of the community, not the individual.  This love affair and worship of individualism in America is not based on its history or facts.  It is a complete myth.  A myth that has become a fundamental underlying principle of today’s Republican Party.  A myth, that Jim Jones-like devotion to has resulted in horrible, often progress stifling, policies.  It is an even more deeply rooted myth in conservative lore than Ronald Reagan being a tax cutting, small government, hard line hawk.

The first wave of immigrants that came to America came for economic, not religious reasons and they didn’t migrate to our shores to frolic in the Fountain of Laissez-Faire. They were employees, mostly indentured servants, of major trading companies who sent them here to harvest resources like timber and furs.  They were “company men”, not individuals who were looking to forge a new life by braving the elements or testing their mettle. The manner in which they worked and lived was communal.

The next wave of people coming to America was the religious immigrants.  For Brooks, this meant the hardworking, God fearing Protestants who sired America’s work ethic, loved the eight pound, six ounce baby Jesus and who planted the love and respect of individualism into the country’s psyche where it grew and flourished for three hundred plus years and can now be seen in the standard bearers for the Republican Party. Unfortunately, “There goes another wonderful theory about to be brutally murdered by a gang of facts.” (author unknown).

There certainly were groups of very devoutly religious people who came to America during this time. However, what Brooks conveniently omits are the multitude of the other groups that also made their way across the Atlantic to avoid the religious persecutions and heavy handed dogma in Europe. Atheists, Deists, Agnostics, etc., left Europe for the New World because of the religious environment in Europe.  Being part of the religious wave didn’t mean you were religious, it meant you left because of religion.  There were just as many, if not more, non-religious, non-fundamentalist immigrants to America during this period than the “Forebears of Freedom and Republican/American Greatness” as Brooks would have it.  This group played as much a role in America’s formation as a country and culture, if not more, than the Puritans or Quakers.  Some of the non-religious people who played a bit part in the formation of America include: Thomas Paine, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Benjamin Franklin, Adam Smith…

The fundamentally religious in early American history was not the dominant group and it was not individualists.  They in fact were the opposite.  They were communal socialists.  In order to afford ship passage to America they often pooled their money together to ensure they could travel as a group. They formed settlements where they helped build each other’s homes, businesses and defenses.  They had community storages and would mete out food and other resources as necessary.  They didn’t cut off someone who was sick.  Instead they would get together and, as a group, figure out the best way to address this or any other problem. What they didn’t do is as they were ascending the gangplank of the Mayflower wave to each other and say “Good luck!  Maybe I’ll see you around.”  They stayed together, worked together and helped each other.  They didn’t abandon the sick and weak or withhold food or shelter.  If you want to see the modern day version and descendants of the early religious settlers to America, visit the Amish community in Ontario Ohio or Lancaster Pennsylvania.  The Amish, Mennonites and similar groups have been the ones to continue the traditions of the early settlers.  One word that is never used in describing these groups or their members is ‘individualism’.

Not to mention that there were a lot of other settlers in the early America who were not the Protestant, white New Englanders yet had just as much impact on society and culture then and now.  The Spain heavily influenced Florida, California and the American Southwest.  France’s influence was felt all along the Mississippi River and Great Lakes areas.  To ignore or deny these groups’ impact on American culture in favor of a tiny sliver of white, New England Protestants, is intellectually dishonest.  Brooks takes a sliver of early America, ascribes general characteristics to it that were not true and then claims these traits are what made this country great.

Let’s fast forward a dozen score years or so to the early 1800’s and visit another group of people touted as the champions of The American Spirit of Individualism-The Pioneers.  You know the salt of the earth, lovers of capitalism and all things holy, the people who settled the West and spread the seeds of rugged individualism like they were John Holmes at Burning Man. According to people like Brooks, the Pioneers were the hardworking, Bible toting, individualist progeny of John Smith, William Bradford and Adam Smith.  Again I call “Bullshit!”  Hardworking? Absolutely.  It was pretty difficult to not have to work hard to survive during this time unless you were filthy rich.  The technology at the time was better than it was in colonial times but it still wasn’t good enough to diminish the day-to-day demands of life in the 1800’s.  Individualists?  Hell no!  I don’t even know where this idea came from.  Even the most cursory look at this era shows quite the contrary.

Remember the stories and pictures of the Pioneers moving across the Great Plains along the Oregon Trail? Did they make this trek one wagon at a time, as individuals?  No. There is a reason they were called wagon trains because they moved as groups.  When they arrived at their intended destinations did they head off in different directions and go all Jeremiah Johnson?  No. They either joined settlements already in progress or started their own, as a group.  They moved as a group, built communities as a group, defended their properties and families as a group…  I come from Pioneer stock.  My genealogy tree has a branch that goes back directly to Brigham Young (of course with 56 kids from 16 of his 55 wives, you can’t swing a dead cat along the Wasatch Range of Utah without hitting someone who is related to Brigham).  Every single aspect of Mormon history, from moving to and building up Nauvoo Illinois, to crossing the prairie, to Brigham leading the faithful into the Salt Lake Valley through Emigration Canyon and pronouncing “This is the place”, to building Salt Lake City was a group, not an individual activity.  It was so communal and such a collective effort that Marx and Engels would have been “Whoa, lighten up a bit, let a brother get some alone time.”

One argument against my take is-“These groups had to band together for pragmatic reasons.  There were extenuating circumstances and variables that forced them to operate as a group in order to survive.”  My response to this critique is-“Yeah.  Your point being what?”  Either working together, spreading out risks and rewards works and yields positive results or it doesn’t.  What the reasons are for doing so are irrelevant.  It doesn’t and shouldn’t matter what the reasons are for opting for the group versus the individual approach.  I fail to see how changing the reasons either changes the efficacy or the results.  Another way of looking at it is to ask the question, “Do you think they could have achieved the same results via the individualism route?”  There doesn’t seem to be any historical evidence to support that they could.  I’m skeptical that the Pioneers didn’t know how to deal with the big issues they faced and followed the community approach to problem solving out of ignorance, stupidity or tradition.  If you think they could have achieved the same or better results by acting as individuals, I would need to see some evidentiary support to back up this position.

The next defense of individualism is along the lines-“That was then, this in now.  The world has changed so the need for the community approach has diminished in importance and has been replaced with the superior, individualism approach.” There are two main problems with this argument.  First, Brooks and the defenders of individualism are not saying, “The community approach WAS the driving force behind early American exceptionalism but now it is the individual.”  The view they hold to be innately true is that it WAS individualism that made America great. Individualism brought to this country by God fearing, religious freedom seeking, hardworking  Europeans, passed down through the generations or absorbed by some sort of osmosis where the trait, like blond hair to Scandinavians, is dominant in conservatives.  Brooks and company might admit that the community approach played a role, just not THE role in making America great.  It was individualism that built that.  Uh......., no.  

Second, the “but the circumstances have changed and the individual plays a fundamentally more important rule” argument is also bullshit.  Certainly the nature of the problems have changed.  We don’t typically worry about packs of wolves, marauding Indians, small pox, the plague, dysentery, being snowed in an unable to get food for weeks in today’s society.  We live in a much more technologically advanced world where these types of problems have adequately been addressed and dealt with.  When it comes to many of the problems and situations that faced the early settlers, we will never face them.  Why?  Because are Founders and those that came after them, as communities, found solutions to those problems.  But, just because those problems either don’t exist or are rare does not mean that we currently are sans problems.  With the advancement of technologies, the world has expanded where people are not limited to living in a small area of the world most of their lives, where commerce and ideas travel around the world at an unbelievable speed.  We’ve gone from regional to a world economy. While the small, regional problems of the past have been handled, there are larger often global problems that need our attention.  I don’t see how, if individualism couldn’t properly deal with the small, regional problems, it can possibly take care of larger ones. If anything, the larger problems need a larger community.

Imagine a small town in Nebraska in the late 1800’s whose local bank is having a cash flow problem.  The town needs the bank so they come together and as a group, deposit enough money to keep the bank going.  Fast forward to September 2008 where the large banks and financial institutions in the U.S. who have branches across the country and all over the world and also have deep, financial ties to other countries’ banks.  They have a serious cash flow problem.  One of these banks was Bank of America. Imagine the B of A branch in Minden Nebraska, population 3000.  It doesn’t matter how community minded and organized the kind citizens of Minden are, nothing they do can safe their local bank from collapse because it belongs to a much larger entity.  So, in order to address the problem, the definition of community needs to expand. The financial problem was nationwide so it took the entire nation to adequately address the U.S. banking problem.  The global financial problem took the global community to address and fix it. It is not that individuals have not made significant contributions but outside the arts, very few have had a big impact on the economy or culture of America.  What makes America great and the advantage we have over just about every other country is our diversity. Homogeneous societies can accomplish a lot and often quickly because as a group, they think pretty much alike.  Their greatest limitation is thinking outside their cultural box.  America, with its wide diversity of cultures always has voices outside the box providing input.  This is a major force behind our innovations and progress the past couple of hundred years.

Name a major economic event in America’s history that was the result of individualism.  There might be some but the majority are ones undertaken by either groups or the government (group) for the betterment of its citizens (huge group).  Louisiana Purchase, Seward’s Folly, Transcontinental Railroad, Interstate Highway System, Tennessee Valley Authority, Space Race, WWII, GI Bill, Erie Canal, St. Lawrence Seaway, Panama Canal, Hoover Dam…all were paid for by the group, built by groups and benifitted groups of the population.

Individuals who have been put on the pedestal of individualism didn’t accomplish what they did by themselves.  Edison is thought to be one of America’s greatest inventors (Tesla was much better but Edison was a better marketer). Growing up, the image of Edison was him laboring long, arduous hours by himself in is laboratory. The reality is he had a very large team of some of the world’s top people working in his lab in Menlo Park and was heavily funded.

Individualism is important and certainly has played a role in America’s rise to power.  But, individualism didn’t have the starring role in “Making America Great”. That role was played by a cast of thousands.  Individualism was a bit player whose name wouldn’t come up in the end credits until half the audience had already left the theater.

[arcadianambivalence]

World on Fire, Episode 1

March 1939 – September 1939

World on Fire begins with a blackshirt rally in Manchester.  Blackshirts (not to be confused with the Italian group of the same name) were paramilitary supporters of the British Union of Fascists political party, led by Sir Oswald Mosley.  

In the middle of this rally, where a mustached man levels all too familiar accusations, a singer named Lois and her interpreter (boy)friend Harry break out in a derisive contrafactum of “Bye, Bye Blackbird.”  The two are thrown from the rally and arrested while the fascists remain free to incite violence, an irony that is not lost on Lois or her father, Douglas.  

After their parents pay their bail, Lois and Harry part ways, not only because they come from different classes, but also because Harry is leaving for a translator position in Warsaw.

The next thing we know, it’s five months later, and we are introduced to a completely different character, an American journalist named Nancy Campbell.  Shades on and swigging from a flash, Nancy swerves down a road along the German-Polish border until she notices something and stops to investigate.  Lying at the edge of the woods is a pile of bodies.  She attempts to look for identification in the uniforms the dead men are wearing but is startled by the sound of nearby gunfire.  German soldiers are executing people in civilian garb, and if that’s not enough of a sign that war is imminent, Nancy finds an entire field littered with (illegal) tanks.  As she escapes back to the car, a German soldier fires through the rear window.

“Nazi Germany is a master of illusions, and the greatest illusion of all is that they are seriously negotiation for peace.”

Nancy arrives in Warsaw unscathed and determined.  Harry is there too.  In the months since he left England, Harry has fallen in love with Kasia, and her family has welcomed him with open arms .  But the massacre at the border is not enough to convince his new girlfriend, Kasia, to leave Poland.  In the months since he left England, Harry has fallen in love with Kasia, and her family has welcomed him with open arms.  Poland isn’t entirely defenseless, either.  Her father, Stefan, and brother, Grzegorz, are going to fight for the Free City of Danzig, a key barrier between Poland and Germany.  (FINALLY, something that talks about Danzig!)

“What sort of camera is that?”  “A Leiker.”  “Ah, German-made.  Perhaps when Harry clicks the shutter we should all duck.”

Stefan is hopeful that Poland (with the help of the long-promised British support) will successfully push back the German army.  Harry can’t bring himself to say that his homeland will likely not honor its promises in the way Stefan envisions.  Later that night, he begs with his boss to do something to help the Tomaszeski family, but his boss waves him off.  

Nancy is encountering the same reaction with her nephew, Webster, who is currently working as a doctor in Paris and enjoying every minute of its jazz scene.  While Harry’s love for Kasia makes him want to flee Warsaw with her, Webster’s budding relationship with saxophone player Albert makes him want to remain in Paris with him.

Ultimately, this first episode places its characters between the delicately balanced familiar and the incoming unfamiliar.  Despite the bodies at the border, invasion still feels so abstract as Kasia goes to work as a waitress and Douglas sips his tea at home.  

At no point is this more apparent than Stefan and Grzegorz’s arrival in Danzig.  Far from a confrontation on a literal battlefield, the father and son prepare to fend off the German arrival from a post office, and it is post office on a little peninsula in Danzig that the first shots of war are fired.  (At one point in the first attack, you can see a stack of envelopes go flying over the end of Grzegorz’s carbine.)

Outnumbered and outmanned, the Polish fighters keep fighting for hour after hour, defending the building floor by floor, and finally, room by room.  After nearly a day of combat, Grzegorz, Stefan, and Konrad are pinned in the basement with other survivors.  Realizing that reinforcements are not coming, Stefan considers surrender, but the others agree to fight on.  

As is sometimes done in period pieces, the fictional Stefan is placed in a leadership position instead of the people who actually rallied the fighters and, ultimately, raised the flag of surrender.  

The basement in which the survivors are recovering is set ablaze in the final push against the Polish.  Grzegorz watches in horror as men are burned alive in the underground inferno.  In the chaos, Stefan steps out of the gouged frame of the post office with a make-shift flag of truce.  As was, unfortunately, true to life, German soldiers open fire on the surrendering man.

Grzegorz and Konrad escape through the sewers and climb to safety in a bombed-out building.  A band of German soldiers enters close behind them, and the two hide behind a door.  But Grzegorz, whose congenital cough is exacerbated by the grime of the explosions, coughs, revealing their hiding place.  The two are led out into the town and backed against a wall for execution by a very young and frightened German soldier.  Seeing his fear, Grzegorz offers the soldier two packets of British cigarettes that Harry gave him earlier.  The soldier does not accept the cigarettes, but he does turn away at the sound of another execution.  Grzegorz and Konrad use this moment to escape once more.

The young German soldier, it turns out, is the son of Nancy’s neighbors in Berlin.  Having returned to her normal assignment in Berlin, Nancy continues to broadcast the progression of the newly-declared war, but with a more conscientious word choice than her typical bluntness.  This is Nazi Germany, and her every word is closely monitored.

The Luftwaffe fly over Warsaw in the morning.  Harry tries to find Kasia in the chaos and is thrown through the glass doors of the restaurant in the shockwave of a blast.  He proposes.  Once more, she starts to turn him down out of concern for her family, but she loves him and can’t say goodbye yet.  While the city around them recovers from the aerial bombardment, Harry and Kasia elope.  

(Only the young and in love can smile as their country is officially being invaded, I guess).

Life is much calmer in Paris, but it is not without danger.  Albert the saxophonist arrives at the American hospital where Webster works after being attacked by Action Francaise, a French extremist group that espoused many of the same beliefs as the British Union of Fascists, the Nazi party, etc.  As Webster tends to Albert’s wounds, Albert cautiously tries to determine if Webster’s interest stems from music or love.

In England, life seems even safer.  Lois has work at a factory and moonlights as a singer, her true passion, to provide for her brother, a happy-go-lucky petty thief, and her father, who turned to pacifism after his experiences in the First World War, experiences which still haunt him with shell shock, though he is embarrassed to admit it.  With the declaration of war, there seems less and less of a place for peace in the world, and Douglas is starting to fear that his children, already at odds with his pacifism, will be swept up in war like he was.

Still in school, Kasia’s little brother Jan is already on the verge of growing up too fast.  With his father and brother gone, he is technically “Man of the House,” a title swiftly refused by Kasia.  She holds Jan tightly and tells him that from now on, he will have to be very brave.  Within the course of one episode, Kasia has changed from carefree to heavy-hearted.  One way or another, she will have to leave her family behind.

Harry calls his mother, Roberta, and tells her that he will take the next train out of Warsaw.  Far removed from any danger (and partial to the very fascism that brought it!), Roberta is too busy planning a party with her wealthy friends to be terribly concerned.  

Before he can tell her that he is bringing his new wife home with him, Harry chickens out.  There isn’t really a good way to say you’ve moved on from your British kind-of girlfriend that your mother hated to marry your Polish girlfriend that your mother will definitely hate.

But no matter.  There’ll be time enough when he gets home.  

The train station is packed with people fleeing the city and saying goodbye, perhaps forever, to their loved ones.  Harry, dressed in wide-brimmed hat and trench coat like a British Rick Blaine, anxiously waits for Kasia to arrive.  But Casablanca, this is not.  Kasia emerges from the sea of people, Jan in tow.  He’s come to see them off, Kasia explains with a kiss. Harry loads her light suitcase onto the train as Kasia says her goodbyes to her little brother.  

And this is where the show convinced me to follow it to the end.  As the train begins to leave, Harry holding her suspiciously light suitcase, Kasia lifts Jan onto the train and slams the door behind him.  “If you love me,” she shouts to Harry over the shriek of the train whistle, “You’ll watch over Jan.”  

As the train carries a stunned Jan and Harry away, Kasia cranes for a final look at the family she will have to live without, for she has made up her mind not to flee as a refugee, but to fight on like her father and her brother and the thousands of other Polish volunteers against the oncoming storm.

Closing Thoughts

At first, I thought it was a strange choice to start the series with Harry and Lois’s arrest, especially since the relationship between the two characters could easily have been communicated through the editing like the Rossler family.  

But after rewatching the first episode, I began to realize the bigger themes of this series.  The threat of fascism is not simply Germany and Italy versus the World, but a possibility in England and France, too.  The inclusion of the BUF and Action Francais brings out the movements that could have risen higher in their countries, blending the simple lines of this country is good, this country is bad often drawn in period pieces.

World on Fire shakes up the typical portrayal of war by basing it on the ground with civilians from perspectives not traditionally seen in media.  Sure, there are the strapping young British guys of Harry and Tom who will inevitably be involved in the more familiar portraits of heroics, but the use of a translator and petty criminal as your average war heroes is a twist on the clichés.

More refreshingly, the show spotlights the people often left on the fringes of war portraits, if included at all.  The most obvious example of this is Albert Fallou, a gay black French musician (when was the last time you heard those four words together when describing a TV character?).  War correspondents, too, are given their due through Nancy, our psuedo-narrator and historical guide who reminds the viewers of how many journalists on the front lines or the heart of enemy territory continued to witness the war at risk of censorship or a more dangerous punishment.  The Tomaszeski family especially ascends to the heroes of the episode from the delightful, but doomed Stefan to his resilient children.

Ultimately, this show provokes its viewers to sympathize with the characters and their situations because of how similar the people are regardless of their unimaginable experiences.

Historical Notes

Nancy Campbell is an amalgamation of multiple historic people.  Like Claire Hollingworth, the British journalist for The Daily Telegraph, she discovers German forces amassing along the Polish border (while driving a borrowed car).  Hollingworth was also responsible for the first report of the war’s outbreak and, in earlier that year, had arranged for the visas of thousands of refugees.  Like William L. Shirer and Howard K. Smith, Nancy broadcasts the early days of the war from Berlin.

Professional and uniformed soldier Stefan waving a make-shift white flag is likely a reference to Dr. Jan Michon, the director of the Polish Post Office central to this episode.  

There are fleeting moments with other people who were historically involved in the event, too, such as the ten-year old Erwina Barzychowska who was hiding with her family during the onslaught

and Konrad Guderski, who held off the incoming Germans during the first attack with a grenade.  

(However, the show makes a confusing choice of including another character named Konrad who escapes with Grzegorz.)

While the war began officially on September 1st, 1939, the Siege of Warsaw did not become a ground fight until a week later (which is why Warsaw is still in relatively good shape by the end of this episode) Polish soldiers and volunteers managed to defend the city for nearly a month until capitulation.  The city was officially occupied starting October 1st until January 1945.

Observations

I love the detail that Harry uses a dishrag to change the lightbulb in the camera.  

Dan Jones’s score is fantastic, especially during the train station scene when the whistle of the train and the hiss of the wheels are incorporated into the orchestration.

Sources

Danzig:

http://brushesandbayonets.blogspot.com/2016/09/01ix1939-defence-of-polish-post-office.html

http://www.stampnewsnow.com/PDF_Pages/1-Poland.pdf

Clare Hollingworth:

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-37606306

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-38573643

More on American Reporters:

https://www.loc.gov/exhibits/wcf/

[hermitologist]

My 20 Favorite Records of 2019

Lists! Everyone loves them. Here’s another one.

These are the records I liked the most this year. That doesn’t mean they’re the *best*, that means I liked them. You might not. That’s fine! You might be livid that Porpoise Corpse’s neo-classical folk prog double LP isn’t on my list because it’s an easy top 5 record for you, but maybe electric mandolin solos, blast beats, and harpsichord runs aren’t my thing. That’s fine too! It’s infinitely cooler and far more productive to let people enjoy the art they enjoy rather than wasting precious minutes of your life trying to convince the entire internet to have the exact same taste in music.

That said ... 

This years list is chock full of the usual, if you’re familiar with my taste at all -- tons of super heavy bummer jams, a handful of Radiohead-adjacent mid-tempo rock of the indie or emo variety, some hearty post-rock, some tried-and-true vets doing the thing they do very well ... again, and a few outliers. The honorable mentions list gets considerably more eclectic if you’re looking for stuff that sounds less like a soundtrack to various stages of the apocalypse.

As always, I welcome your suggestions for records and podcasts I might’ve missed the boat on. There’s way too much good stuff out there to keep up with, so PLEASE help me out.

Also: When I am not being a lazy pile of crap, I try to haul my dadbod around town for a run a few days a week and will listen to/briefly review a record in the process. Almost every record on this list has been a part of one of those posts, so if you’re interested in such a thing, please check out my Instagram.

BONUS: I put together a playlist on Spotify of my favorite song from each of my top 20 records, and a separate one for the 51 other records I liked this year, so if you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, just needle drop a little and see if anything grabs you. And if anyone’s feeling productive and has time to do an Apple Music playlist, I’ll link and credit you.

Top 20 Spotify Playlist

Top 20 Apple Music Playlist -- Thanks, Austin!

Other Faves Spotify Playlist

But before we get to the Top 20, a couple of records that deserve a nod ... 

Record I Listened To The Most In 2019 Whether I Wanted To Or Not

Angel Du$t - Pretty Buff

This is my four-year-old son’s favorite record, and while I’m trying to round out his musical palate by throwing on all sorts of different bands while we’re hanging out, he insists on either “no music” or “The Basketball Song” (which is “Big Ass Love”). I have no idea how or why his little amazingly weird brain equates the song with basketball (a sport he doesn’t really play or watch or think about ever, to my knowledge), but it does. He LOVES IT. I’ve got to admit, I didn't care for the song all that much when I first heard it, but it’s an earworm, and some 3000 plays later, I love it, and I love the record. Funny how that works out.

Record That Came out in 2009, But I Didn’t Discover Until 2019

Self-Evident - Endings

Endings was neck-and-neck with my favorite record of 2019 for spins this year. Coincidentally, the it was recommended by someone from the band who made my #1 record, and it has moments where it sounds a whole hell of a lot like my #1 record. Blows my mind that a band that was/is so incredibly in my wheelhouse sonically, that has released nine LPs over an 18 year career, and operates in circles incredibly close to a ton of bands I love and respect and nerd out about music with somehow managed to elude me for the better part of two decades. At any rate I’m incredibly stoked to have finally found them, absolutely love them, and honestly might’ve listened to this LP 20 times in a matter of a few days when I got my first taste. It’s that good. 

And now for the list ... 

20) Remote Viewing - It’s Better This Way

Super nasty, dark, sludgy, well-crafted noise rock out of London that fits somewhere in between KEN Mode and early-Kowloon Walled City sonically. You’d think it was pretty crazy to have a band be so locked in and fully formed as early as LP2, but then you find out they’re ex-members of Palehorse, Million Dead, and I Want You Dead and it all kinda makes sense. Unfortunately, the song on the playlist is from a previous LP (because the new one is inexplicably not on Spotify), but you can and should get the new record on Bandcamp.

19) From Indian Lakes - Dimly Lit

I’ve been a big fan of FIL for years, but have always been at a bit of a loss when it comes time to describe them. It’s hazy and dreamy, but not quite shoegazey ... it’s insanely infectious and pleasing to the ear, but not really poppy ... it’s forward-thinking and experimental, but not quite art-rock or groggy at all. It’s just excellent. Full stop. If you dig anything from Tycho, to Radiohead, to The Cure, to Slowdive you’ll enjoy this.

18) Stray From The Path - Internal Atomics

Furious, mathy, riff-heavy hardcore from Long Island that sounds like a reformed Rage Against The Machine had spent the past two decades doing steroids, mainlining Red Bull, and studying the finer points of Moshology. The breakdowns are massive, the drumming absolutely mental, and the vocals pissed as hell. At my advanced age, it’s rare that a record makes me want to pit and/or try to deadlift cars, but this one’s got that magic.

17) Glassing - Spotted Horse

Mostly spazzy, occasionally dreamy, black-metal sprinkled post-hardcore that fits in very well with bands like Portrayal Of Guilt and Respire in the rebirth of traditional screamo. It’s fits and starts of chaos and beauty, and it all sounds and feels like it could completely go off the rails at any time which is what made bands like Orchid and Majority Rule and Saetia so great back in the day. 

16) La Dispute - Panorama

It’s no secret that I’m a big La Dispute fan (Thrice has toured the US with them twice in the past decade), and I love all of their records, but I’m pretty sure I can say with full confidence that this is the best record they’ve ever made. Everything is firing at peak performance, and the way the record is arranged and sequenced makes it feel more like a film score than a collection of songs. It’s a complete work -- meant to be listened to as such, which is a daunting artistic task, but they pulled it off in grand fashion.

15) Russian Circles - Blood Year

This band has been in the upper echelon of post-rock bands for as long as I can remember, and Blood Year is another incredible addition to their already stellar discography. These guys are all absolute monsters at their given instruments, and one of the best live rock bands on the planet, so getting to hear them do their thing on a record that manages to actually capture that live energy and ambience really does the trick for me. 

14) Greet Death - New Hell

This one kinda came outta nowhere for me, as I (ashamedly) was not familiar with them prior to giving New Hell a spin. It blew me away. I’m a total sucker for bummer jams, and this record is full of top-quality sludgy, sad, shoegazey goodness. If you dig Cloakroom, O’ Brother, or Pianos Become The Teeth this is gonna be right up your alley.  

13) Sleep Token - Sundowning

Another record that came out of nowhere to knock me on my ass. I downloaded it before a transatlantic flight on a whim (after hearing about 30 seconds of the opening track), hoping that it would be a nice, mellow companion to ease my in-flight anxiety. And it was, but whoa was it so much more than that. It kinda sounds like a collab between Active Child and Deftones -- poppy, melancholic piano ballads, brought to crushing crescendos via super heavy drop-tuned sludge -- which sounds like a mess, but it works so well. It’s a killer record and probably would’ve landed higher on this year’s list if it hadn’t come out so late in the year.

12) Big Thief - UFOF

This one’s a bit of an outlier, and a damn good one at that. I came across UFOF via a friend’s recommendation before the hype train had left the station, and honestly didn’t know what to expect. Said recommendation simply said that it was good and infectious and probably a few other things that I can’t recall, but didn’t mention the folk thing (which is great because I probably would have passed). The friend was right. It’s good (maybe even great), incredibly infectious, and gave me a nice reprieve from the heavy stuff I tend to listen to on the regular.

11) Cave In - Final Transmission

I’m beyond thankful we got any new music from Cave In after Caleb passed. They owed us nothing, and had every right to walk away, but managed to rally to release a killer record that is heavy both sonically and conceptually, and still manages to give me chills despite being live demos recorded in a rehearsal room. There are few bands on the planet who’ve inspired me like Cave In have, and seeing them pull together to grieve and forge ahead to continue to build their legacy is even more inspiring. What a band.

10) Pedro The Lion - Phoenix

My favorite singer/songwriter of my generation decided to revive the project that made me a fan of his in the first place. That project put out a record for the first time in 15 years, and I had unreasonably high expectations for it. Phoenix delivered and then some. I remember sitting at my kitchen table, weeping into my cup of coffee the first time I heard Phoenix, the same way Control used to make it seem like the inside of the Thrice van was getting a little dusty during cross-country drives back in the early 00s. It blows my mind that David Bazan can be such a prolific artist, write such insanely powerful music, and seem incapable of writing a dud song. 

9) Coilguns - Watchwinders

This Swiss noise-rock band kicks unbelievable amounts of ass. Their Millenials LP made my favorites list last year, and when I heard they had a follow up coming out a little over a year later, my gut reaction was to worry they’d blow it with a new record that was either rushed and/or half-assed, or lose the plot and take a hard left turn and make something markedly un-Coilguns. They did neither. The made an absolute monster of an album, that was apparently written in the studio, and is full of live energy in rawness that is pretty tough to capture in a sterile atmosphere like a studio. Watchwinders dropped in late October, and if I’d had a bit more time with it, I could see it moving up to my Top 5. It’s that good. I find myself going back to it constantly.

8) Blessed - Salt

This record kinda defies description, but it reminds me of everything from Pile to Menomena to Interpol to La Dispute to Devo at times. As scatterbrained and incongruent as that might sound, I assure you it rules. It was in verrrry heavy rotation this year -- mostly for the utterly filthy drum groove on the final track. If you like your music catchy, but slathered in weird, this is definitely gonna do the thing for you. It’s an incredible record.

7) Herod - Sombre Dessein

I hadn’t heard of this band before they popped up on a Spotify playlist early this year, and when “Reckoning” hit, it absolutely flattened me. You know that nuclear apocalypse scene from Terminator 2? That’s what “Reckoning” did to me. It was undoubtedly my favorite ultra-heavy track of the year, and while it’s my favorite song on the record by a pretty large margin, the rest of Sombre Dessein kicks ass too. It’s 42 minutes of crushing heaviness that kinda sounds like a blend of Cult Of Luna, Meshuggah, and Gojira. Heavy. Pissed. Unrelenting. And Outstanding.

6) Pile - Green & Grey

Every time I try to describe Pile to someone I fail. On Wikipedia they’re described as “indie rock”, which ... sure, I suppose? There’s a little post-punk in there, a little post-rock, a little noise-rock, nods to classic rock (maybe?), a little of that southern magic that made Colour Revolt so great (but Pile’s from Boston so hmm ... ), some country even? Do you like weird guitars? Freakish musicians? Melancholic crooning? I dunno. It’s all over the place, but in the best ways possible. They’re a singular band, and so damn good. Green & Grey is stellar addition to a discography that is already full of incredible music ... even if the album cover gives makes me want to fold those blankets and put them away.

5) PUP - Morbid Stuff

Was this the year that PUP broke? Definitely seems like it, and rightfully so. Morbid Stuff is my favorite thing they’ve ever done, but I’ve absolutely loved everything they’ve ever put out, so that’s saying a lot. Per usual, it’s insanely infectious and anthemic without being traditionally poppy or relying on tropes to burrow into your skull and take up residence there. It’s uplifting musically, but kinda depressing lyrically, which does this weird push/pull thing in my brain that makes it impossible to stop listening to. The musicianship is fantastic, the guitar parts especially -- like the guitar line in “Scorpion Hill” wow. I really needed a record to fill the gaping void between the metal/sludge/noise and the ambient/downtempo electronica I listened to this year, and Morbid Stuff fit the bill perfectly.

4) Cult Of Luna - A Dawn To Fear

These guys belong on the Mount Rushmore of Post-Rock/Metal with Neurosis and Isis. Nobody has done it better than them over the past two decades, and A Dawn To Fear is arguably their best work to date. It, like any Cult Of Luna requires a great deal of patience, but man if they don’t make the wait worth it. They’re the masters of the slow build to an absolutely crushing climax, the dynamic shifts that leave you feeling like you got hit by a freight train, the nuanced instrumentation that tells a different story each time you listen to a certain section of a song. They’re absolute masters at their craft, and this record is them at their peak. 

3) Big|Brave - A Gaze Among Them

Another record that came out of nowhere to completely floor me. I hadn’t heard a single note from this band until a friend recommended I check out the opening track, “Muted Shifting Of Space”. I did ... and that plodding drum and bass pulse with dark, swirling, ethereal guitar swells/feedback and soaring vocals building into a huge release of sludgy, drop-tuned goodness checked off all the boxes for me. I was hooked. The atmosphere and dynamics Big|Brave have built their sound around give every song a cinematic feel -- if you close your eyes, can you see drone footage of landscapes too? . If you dig post-rock/metal that is experimental around the edges, moody, absurdly heavy, and has both feet firmly planted in sludge, this is a must-have record. 

2) Cloudkicker - Unending

If you’ve been following me on social media or reading these year-end lists for a while you’re probably pretty familiar with Cloudkicker by now because any time we get new music I can’t shut up about it and the record invariably ends up on this list. This instance is no different. Unending is the first LP we’ve gotten from Ben Sharp in four years, and it’s worth the wait and then some. He’s managed to pull from every era of CK and turn it into a masterpiece mash-up of styles without it ever feeling rehashed or uninspired. I’d go far as to say this tops Beacons and Fade for me, and comes awfully close to challenging Subsume for my favorite Cloudkicker record of all time and space. There’s soooo much progressive and djenty masturbatory metal garbage floating in the ether right now. Hearing the one of the kings do the damn thing properly is incredibly refreshing.

1) Town Portal - Of Violence

No surprise here. I’ve been crapping my pants about this band ever since my good friend Scott Evans shared their music with me a couple years ago. I’ve been unhealthily obsessed ever since. The magical progressive rock/metal these three guys are capable melts and massages my brain in a way few bands ever have. Of Violence is incredibly mathy without ever feeling awkward, it’s melodic without being conventional, it’s discordant without being abrasive, it’s heavy as shit without being overloaded with distortion, it’s progressive as hell without ever coming remotely close to devolving into a wankfest, and it’s damn near perfect in every way. Songwriting? Great. Tones? Phenomenal. Musicianship? Otherworldly. Execution? Flawless. Mix? Perfect. Replayability? (Not a word, but ... ) PUT THIS RECORD ON A GODDAMN LOOP AND NEVER TURN IT OFF. Can you tell I like it? You might too, so give it a listen. And if by chance you do not like it, please see a doctor. You’re broken.

OTHER STUFF I REALLY ENJOYED THIS YEAR

HEAVY JAMS

METZ - Automat

Buildings - Negative Sound

Helms Alee - Noctiluca

Minors - Abject Bodies

Periphery - Periphery 4: HAIL STAN

Employed To Serve - Eternal Forward Motion

Elizabeth Colour Wheel - Nocero

Defeater - S/T

Pelican - Nighttime Stories

Spotlights - Love And Decay

Great Falls - A Sense of Rest

Baroness - Gold & Grey

The End of the Ocean - -aire

Vous Autres - Champ du Sang

Brutus - Nest

Torche - Admission

Glose - The Second Best of Glose

Throes - In The Hands of an Angry God

Slipknot - We Are Not Your Kind

meth. - Mother of Red Light

SECT - Blood of the Beasts

Kublai Khan TX - Absolute

Seizures - Reverie of the Revolving Diamond

Dead Kiwis - Systematic Home Run

Norma Jean - All Hail

Refused - War Music

Chamber - Ripping / Pulling / Tearing

MIDRANGE JAMS

Jimmy Eat World - Surviving

Elbow - Giants of All Sizes

Raketkanon - RKTKN #3

Bad Religion - Age of Unreason

The Appleseed Cast - The Fleeting Light of Impermanence

DIIV - Deceiver

Idiot Pilot - Blue Blood

Microwave - Death Is A Warm Blanket

Low Dose - S/T

SWMRS - Berkeley’s On Fire

Self-Evident - Lost Inside The Machinery

B. Hamilton - Nothing and Nowhere

MELLOW JAMS

Trade Wind - Certain Freedoms

Square Peg Round Hole - Branches

Great Grandpa - Four of Arrows

Local Natives - Violet Street

Rhone - Leaving State

Shlohmo - The End 

Tycho - Weather

Bon Iver - i,i

Drowse - Light Mirror

Bonniesongs - Energetic Mind

Telefon Tel Aviv - Dreams Are Not Enough

GoGo Penguin - Ocean In A Drop

Bent Knee - You Know What They Mean

THE PODCAST QUEUE

The Deadcast (RIP) - sports, culture

Chapo Trap House - politics

The Rich Roll Podcast - health, wellness, endurance sports

Hang Up & Listen - sports

Effectively Wild - baseball

The Gist - current events

The Downbeat - drums, humor

To Live & Die In LA - true crime

FilmDrunk Frotcast - movies, culture, humor

The Modern Drummer Podcast with Mike & Mike - drums (duh)

The Trap Set - also drums

Song Exploder - songwriting

[obtusemedia]

Ranking The 1975′s songs, from worst to best

The 1975 are unabashedly political, wildly eclectic in musical style, and masters of striking the perfect balance between strange and accessible. They’re also the most important, and arguably the best, band of the last five years or so.

However, despite their ability to pen generation-defining anthems and incredibly sticky pop hits, The 1975 have a fatal flaw: they overstuff their albums. All of their records, even their most consistent one (2018′s A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships) have at least a couple filler songs. Because of that, and because the Manchester band love to dabble in nearly every musical style on the planet (except hip-hop, which is probably for the best), a song-by-song evaluation is the best way to judge The 1975′s catalog. And with the recent release of their hit-and-miss fourth record, Notes On A Conditional Form, there’s not a better time to do just that.

But first, some ground rules:

1) To make the list, songs had to appear on one of The 1975′s four albums, or their four debut EPs (which I normally wouldn’t count, but they contain many of the band’s essential songs).

2) The 1975 love to include instrumental interludes on their records. I’m not ranking those — Matty Healy has to sing on the track for it to count.

3) The 1975 also begin every album with a self-titled song. Because three of them are variations on the same song, and the fourth is a spoken-word track with climate activist Greta Thunberg, these won’t be on the list either. (For the record, the best version of the song is their second attempt, although I respect the hell out of the Thunberg monologue.)

#69: “Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You” (The 1975, 2013)

The bottom of this list will be mostly comprised of the painfully boring, minimalist ballads that The 1975 used to end their albums with (thankfully, their last two album closers were phenomenal...we’ll get to them much later). One of the most appealing aspects of The 1975 is their bold, in-your-face style. A bland, hookless piano ballad like “Somebody” is the opposite of that. I already forgot how the tune goes.

#68: “Don’t Worry” (Notes On A Conditional Form, 2020)

The backstory behind “Don’t Worry” — lead singer/lyricist Matty Healy’s dad wrote it for his family ages ago, and now Healy’s recording his own version of it — is cute. The actual song, unfortunately, is a treacly mess that sounds like something from Barney & Friends. But if Barney aggressively, and unsuccessfully, tried to ripoff Bon Iver’s autotuned ballads.

#67: “She Lays Down” (I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, 2016)

Postnatal depression is a real issue, and one that should be explored more in song. But The 1975 were clearly not the band to do it, judging by how boring and forgettable “She Lays Down” is.

#66: “Woman” (Facedown EP, 2012)

The band’s first boring closing track, way back on their debut EP! Considering how great Facedown’s other three songs are, this aimless ballad is a major disappointment.

#65: “Bagsy Not In Net” (Notes)

This overly reverb-y nothing of song is a prime example of something that should have been cut from the overlong Notes On A Conditional Form tracklist.

#64: “Playing On My Mind” (Notes)

Speaking of boring late-album songs from Notes that should’ve been left on the cutting room floor! At least this one has a halfway decent melody.

#63: “Surrounded By Heads and Bodies” (A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships, 2018)

The only interesting things about this shuffling ballad are A) the very metal song title that doesn’t match the actual tune at all, and B) Healy sings this song about a woman named Angela. Is this meant to be from the perspective of Dwight Schrute?

#62: “Head.Cars.Bending” (Music For Cars EP, 2013)

Later in their career, The 1975 would excel at off-kilter electronic jams. But “Head.Cars.Bending,” one of the band’s first attempts at that style, proves that it took a lot of practice to perfect that sound, because yikes — this is rough. That lurching beat makes me seasick.

#61: “Nana” (I like it...)

It’s not a track I ever return to, but I’ll admit that “Nana” has a nice melody and is an appropriately reverent and pretty tribute to Healy’s dead grandmother.

#60: “Inside Your Mind” (Brief Inquiry)

The 1975 attempted to blend shoegaze guitars with ‘80s cheeseball power ballads on “Inside Your Mind.” It was a noble attempt! The guitar lick sounds great! But the track sadly stays at one level throughout, so the song never achieves liftoff.

#59: “Talk!” (The 1975)

The 1975′s self-titled debut is an outlier in the band’s discography, as it came before the shameless (and fun!) genre-hopping of their next three records. In contrast, the debut has a very early-’10s, Urban Outfitters-core indie pop-rock sound throughout. On some songs, that sound works really well! But there’s also a glut of mediocre filler tracks that fit that sonic description. The stop-and-start, neck-jerking “Talk!” is one of those filler tracks.

#58: “Yeah I Know” (Notes)

One of the few musical styles that Notes returns to frequently during its runtime is a skittery, repetitive drum-and-bass sound. Although none of these songs are outright bad, they’re mostly not too interesting either. “Yeah I Know” is the worst of the bunch, with annoying chipmunk voice effects and a dreary vibe.

#57: “She Way Out” (The 1975)

"She Way Out,” despite having an opening lyric that calls back to one of The 1975′s very best songs (which we’ll get to much, much later), is just another one of the dime-a-dozen mediocre pop-rock nuggets that flood the tracklist of The 1975′s self-titled debut. The guitar lick is pretty tasty, I guess.

#56: “Pressure” (The 1975)

ƒAnd here’s another one of those pop-rock filler songs! At least this one has a nice shuffling groove. Still, I’ll stick with the charmingly bonkers Billy Joel song of the same name (and its gloriously awful, very early ‘80s music video). 

#55: “The Birthday Party” (Notes)

This folksy ballad tries to jack the style of emo-country act Pinegrove, while Healy makes a half-hearted quip about the unclear acts of “sexual coercion” that the band’s lead singer admitted to. But “The Birthday Part” doesn’t have the concise songwriting or heart-wrenching emotions of “Old Friends.” Instead, it sort of just meanders around for a few minutes. The melody is nice — and I did enjoy Healy’s quip about not being able to poop in a shared hotel room, so he has to sneak to the hotel lobby — but most of the song just feels pointless.

#54: “Anobrain” (Music For Cars EP)

“Anobrain” reminds me a lot of a deep cut from one of my other favorite bands: U2′s “Promenade.” They’re both short, oblique slices of atmosphere and haze that are pretty, but don’t build into something greater. Think of “Anobrain” as a warmup for the superior nocturnal synthpop that The 1975 would pen in later records.

#53: “Undo” (Sex EP, 2012)

“Undo,” an otherwise standard early-era midtempo tune with lots of reverb, gets some bonus points for its smooth, swaying beat and a solid hook.

#52: “Mine” (Brief Inquiry)

When I imagined what “The 1975 does a jazz song” would sound like, I was hoping for something more frantic and bebop-y. “Mine” doesn’t sound like that at all — it’s a loungey slow-dance ballad that’s less Miles Davis and more Cole Porter. But regardless, it’s still an interesting detour. Who said quirky genre excursions were only limited to upbeat songs? Or that they had to be quirky?

#51: “The Ballad Of Me And My Brain” (I like it...)

I love the musical elements of “The Ballad” — the cascading drum fills, the thundering splashes of guitar, the twinkling keyboards, Healy’s delirious vocals. But the actual song itself doesn’t do much for me. Having a song about literally “losing your mind” and your brain is wandering in a grocery store, at a bar, etc. is a cute idea on paper, but it just sounds awkward in execution.

#50: “I Think There’s Something You Should Know” (Notes)

Here’s another of Notes’ repetitive drum-and-bass songs. But at least “I Think...” has a catchy tune and a bit more musical evolution throughout.

#49: “Haunt // Bed” (IV EP, 2013)

“Haunt // Bed” has one thing that distinguishes itself from other middling EP-era 1975 tracks: the pulsating loop that undulates beneath much of the song. It’s an interesting choice, and certainly helps the song stand out despite its forgettable melody.

#48: “Settle Down” (The 1975)

Probably the best of the debut album’s jangly pop-rock filler tracks, “Settle Down” still sounds like a weaker version of that record’s big singles. Which is interesting, as it was a single itself. But I’m certainly not going to kick it out of bed — the soaring chorus is legitimately great, and the funky guitar riff is nice.

#47: “Paris” (I like it...)

This mid-tempo, snarky character study about a drug-addicted party girl almost feels like 1975 on auto pilot. But just because Healy and co. could knock out a song like this in their sleep, that doesn’t mean “Paris” isn’t a pleasant, silky smooth comedown from the zanier cuts on I like it.

#46: “Then Because She Goes” (Notes)

The 1975 going full Slowdive and making a fuzzy, shoegaze-y jam? Sounds incredible! Unfortunately, “Then Because She Goes” doesn’t quite live up to that premise, mostly because it’s so brief. At just a notch over two minutes, the song doesn’t give itself anytime to expand or go anywhere interesting. It’s a case of wasted potential, but at least the sliver of a song we got is decent.

#45: “Be My Mistake” (Brief Inquiry)

There are a couple exceptions to the “The 1975 shouldn’t do acoustic guitar ballads” rule. “Be My Mistake” is one of them. It’s nothing spectacular, but the melody is quite pretty, and Healy’s troubadour act is sweet. Also, unlike some of the earlier acoustic ballads, there’s no studio gimmickry or weird vocal filters: it’s just a nice coffeeshop ballad.

#44: “M.O.N.E.Y.” (The 1975)

It’s a bit strange that The 1975 decided to slot this single so high in their debut album’s tracklist, ahead of much catchier, more obvious hits. But there’s something infectious to the winking lyrics and jittery production that sounds like clanging slot machines.

#43: “This Must Be My Dream” (I like it...)

If there’s been one constant to The 1975′s albums, it’s that there’ll be at least a couple big, cheesy ‘80s homages. And I’m a huge sucker for those songs. “This Must Be My Dream” is the worst of the bunch — it’s a bit uninspired — but big crashing synths and drum machines are still a weakness for me. Also, Healy’s vocals sound eerily like Phil Collins here...not sure if that’s a plus or minus.

#42: “Roadkill” (Notes)

The superior version of “The Birthday Party,” for two reasons. One: instead of the band half-heartedly dipping its toes into an alt-country sound, “Roadkill” has BIG honky-tonk energy with its twangy guitars and dusty groove. Two: Healy’s little anecdotes are much more interesting and strange here. It still doesn’t have much of a hook or anything, but “Roadkill” is alright by me.

#41: “Lostmyhead” (I like it...)

Putting “Lostmyhead,” a fan-favorite deep cut, in the bottom half of this ranking is a bit of a hot take. So let me make it clear: this is a good song! The issue is, I feel about “Lostmyhead” the way those who dislike The 1975 describe the band’s other genre excursions: it just doesn’t come close to the original. Here, they’re clearly trying to emulate M83′s cinematic post-rock. And it’s passable! But it’s certainly no “Outro” or “Moonchild.”

#40: “Nothing Revealed / Everything Denied” (Notes)

This quirky number feels like a grab bag of various styles The 1975 have tried on throughout the years: a gospel chorus! Sort-of rapped auto-tune verses! A Mark Knopfler-esque guitar solo that sounds like it was recorded two rooms away, for some reason! It doesn’t quite add up to a classic, but it’s certainly attention grabbing, particularly Healy’s self-critical lyrics.

#39: “I Couldn’t Be More In Love” (Brief Inquiry)

Melodramatic late-‘80s R&B isn’t my favorite musical style, so that dings “I Couldn’t Be More In Love” a few points for me. But Healy is absolutely SELLING this thing vocally, corny key changes and all. And drummer/producer George Daniel expertly captures that specific era with some charmingly chintzy keyboard tones.

#38: “What Should I Say” (Notes)

This detour into robotic dancehall doesn’t work quite as well for me as the other track on Notes with this sound, the Cutty Ranks-led “Shiny Collarbone” (which didn’t qualify for this list, as Healy doesn’t sing on it). But “What Should I Say” is solid in its own right, with some twisty keyboard licks and lots of gorgeous chopped-up vocal samples.

#37: “Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy)” (Notes)

It’s a cute old-school soul song at its core (with a prominent Temptations sample!), but I feel like the lurching synths and occasional chipmunk vocals don’t work well with the more traditionalist tune. It’s an interesting test of mixing new and old, but it’s not entirely successful here.

#36: “So Far (It’s Alright)” (IV EP)

This song describes itself pretty accurately: It’s alright! Okay, fine, it’s actually pretty great. The twinkling pianos and Healy’s ghostly vocals are an atypical backdrop for adolescent stories of debauchery and angst, but it somehow works. It’s a song built to naturally cool down a house party.

#35: “Girls” (The 1975)

We’re about halfway through the list, so it seems like a pretty good time to talk about “Girls” — a big early hit for The 1975, but with a sound the group has clearly evolved from. It’s basically a catchier, sharper improvement on their debut album’s jangly pop-rock filler tracks.

But although that chorus is quite sticky, and the groove is nice, it’s not as interesting or unique as The 1975′s later hits, or even other singles from that same album. Another mid-10s semi-indie band of pretty boys could’ve easily recorded it (but it would’ve been their best song).

#34: “Menswear” (The 1975)

This is the point of the countdown at which where each track left is unequivocally a classic. I feel a bit bad putting “Menswear” — a slinky synthpop deep cut with a killer synth riff — this low on the list. But it just shows how many other incredible songs The 1975 have.

#33: “Loving Someone” (I like it...)

I like it when you sleep... doesn’t have quite as much genre hopping as their next two records. Instead, much of it it crystalized the ideal “1975 sound” — of-kilter but sleek synth-heavy rock with some ‘80s influence and some out-there lyrics. “Loving Someone” is a great song in that vein, with Healy delivering some wonderfully pretentious lyrics (“I’m the Greek economy of cashing intellectual checks”) and George Daniel creating a gorgeous cacophony of whirring synths and vocal samples to back him up.

#32: “Facedown” (Facedown EP)

The world’s proper introduction to The 1975, the band’s first song on their debut EP is a perfect distillation of their EP-era sound. The dream-pop keyboards and the processed, nearly Daft Punk-esque vocals make “Facedown” an intriguing invitation into The 1975′s nocturnal world of drugs, women and depression. It might honestly be a better teasing leadoff than the iconic self-titled track that opens The 1975′s full-length albums.

#31: “Heart Out” (The 1975)

This otherwise just-decent synthpop number is elevated by one aspect: the synth bass is incredible. The constant pulsating throb throughout the track gives the song an early-MTV vibe, lending it a sense of drive.

#30: “How To Draw / Petrichor” (Brief Inquiry)

In multiple interviews, Healy described A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships into his attempt at making Radiohead’s OK Computer for a new generation. But with its glitchy, robotic aesthetic, “How To Draw / Petrichor” is much more Kid A.

But despite my distaste for Radiohead’s more experimental side, I really love The 1975′s pastiche of it! Probably because, like the best 1975 songs, it has a really strong melody. But unlike many of their other great tunes, “How To Draw” is a snaking, constantly evolving track that’s mostly instrumental. Instrumental tracks aren’t usually for me, so the fact that this holds my attention for nearly 6 minutes is a strong sign.

#29: “Me” (Music For Cars EP)

"Me” is The 1975 at arguably their most sad-sack. Healy’s vocals are leaden and filled with guilt. At point, he casually tosses aside, “I was thinking about killing myself, don’t you mind.”

The music is a perfect match — the rhythm is plodding and heavy in the best way, and the mournful sax solo in the bridge stays just on the right side of cheesy. It’s a genuinely affecting ballad.

#28: “Give Yourself A Try” (Brief Inquiry)

This was the first taste of A Brief Inquiry we heard. And I really disliked it at first — the clanging, messy guitars and motorik rhythm didn’t connect with me at first.

But — strangely for a lead single — "Give Yourself A Try” is a grower! Healy’s lyrics are in his sweet spot of being legitimately sincere, gloriously snarky and absolutely ridiculous at the same time. And the pounding groove burrows its way into your skull until you find it endearing. The band’s next attempt at a more RAWK single on their fourth album worked a bit better, but “Give Yourself A Try” is pretty damn great for a Joy Division ripoff.

#27: “Intro / Set3″ (Sex EP)

This was essentially The 1975′s warmup version of the multi-part electronic sweep of “How To Draw.” Yet, I like "Intro / Set3″ a tad more. It’s more direct and has a stronger hook.

#26: “If I Believe You” (I like it...)

“If I Believe You” joins the legacy of pasty British/Irish rock bands making unexpectedly strong gospel songs. Although it’s not quite on the same transcendent level as The Rolling Stones’ and U2′s attempts, it’s at least on Blur’s level.

I love how Healy took the religious genre and used it for a song that’s all about religious confusion. He vents to a god that he doesn’t really believe in, wondering if religion would solve his myriad problems. The song doesn’t arrive at a clean conclusion, but it’s still a fascinating track about doubts and why people turn to a higher power.

#25: “People” (Notes)

In a whole career of random left-turns, scream-y punk rock might be the most unexpected yet for The 1975. “People” — which directly follows an apocalyptic spoken word intro from climate activist Greta Thunberg on its album — is a piercing jolt of energy that’s impossible to ignore.

"People” is definitely a polarizing track, even for fans of the band. It’s extremely aggressive, angry, and might freak out your friend who just wanted to hear more songs like “Chocolate.” But even though I think the lyrics (although admirably ballsy!) are a bit of a mess, I love the no-holds-back rage of “People.” If you’re going to try an out-there genre experiment, dive in headfirst.

#24: “Frail State Of Mind” (Notes)

By far the best of Notes’ drum-and-bass tracks, “Frail State Of Mind” feels like an actual, fleshed-out song rather than just the band dinking around with some new rhythms. 

The skittering percussion, mournful vocal samples and melancholy lyrics help to create a gorgeous, downbeat track. It’s the audio equivalent of sitting inside on a drizzly day, listening to the rain hit the roof: sad, but also content.

#23: “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” (Brief Inquiry)

Okay, so remember that hot minute in the mid-2010s when pop music pivoted hard into a gentrified, bland tropical house sound? Justin Bieber was the biggest offender? Well, The 1975 jumped on that bandwagon a few years later with “TOOTIME” ... yet it wound up sounding much better than any of the actual hit songs it was ripping off.

Why does The 1975′s tropical house banger actually work? First off, it embraces its non-tropical Britishness: with the chilly synths and auto-tuned vocals, it barely emulates the Caribbean outside of its rhythm. Furthermore, that rhythm is a tad faster than many of those mid-10s hits, making the song feel less like a drag and more like a traditional pop banger. But most importantly — it’s catchy as hell. Good luck getting that chorus out of your head.

#22: “Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America” feat. Phoebe Bridgers (Notes)

“Jesus Christ” is easily the biggest exception to my “The 1975 shouldn’t do acoustic ballads” rule. And that’s primarily because they brought alone one of the modern masters of that form: Phoebe Bridgers.

Healy’s quietly emotive vocals and knack for lilting melodies fit in perfectly with Bridgers’ whispered folksy musical world. And of course, it’s nice to hear another voice on a 1975 song, especially if it’s as evocative as Bridgers’. Both she and Healy sing short vignettes of tortured, non-reciprocated same-sex crushes, and it’s a prime example of the power of compact storytelling.

#21: “She’s American” (I like it...)

As I warned earlier, the top of this list is going to have a lot of The 1975′s trips into pure ‘80s synth cheese. So let’s dive right into that!

“She’s American” is just pure fun, from Healy’s cheeky lyrics poking fun at his American lover, to the swirling synths and shiny guitars. It’s like a long-lost Duran Duran banger.

#20: “You” (Sex EP)

For a rock band that loves bombast, it’s surprising that The 1975 don’t tap into the U2/Coldplay arena rock sound more often. But the couple times they tried it, they nailed the landing.

“You” is a stark departure from the nocturnal angst of much of The 1975′s other EP-era songs. It’s bright, major-key, and meant to be blasted to the cheap seats of an arena. The guitar riff is pure The Edge, and the song just keeps getting bigger and bigger, louder and louder. “You” sounds like pure euphoria by the time it reaches its climax.

#19: “UGH!” (I like it...)

We’ll file this in the “Healy vents about his drug addiction over a super-sleek pop song” folder. And like most of those songs, “UGH!” is a total winner.

The guitars and synths are so liquid and snappy that it’s hard to tell them apart (in a good way!). And Healy gloriously vamps over the ‘80s Bowie groove, pontificating about his coke habit is ruining his life. The attention to detail here is admirable — from the chic plastic production to Healy making an aside about how the song only lasts three minutes. Guess how long “UGH!” is, to the exact second?

#18: “The City” (Facedown and IV EPs, The 1975)

This song was clearly a favorite in the band’s early days: it was on two of their four EPs, and was the first non-intro track on their debut album. “The City” absolutely deserves all that love, though.

First, to be clear: the re-recorded version on the self-titled debut album is much better. The 1975 are not one of those bands that sounds better with a DIY, low-fi aesthetic — they need that studio sheen! And on the re-recorded version, the absolute best aspect of “The City” gets to shine: THOSE DRUMS. They slam against your eardrums with the force of a Mack truck, and help propel an otherwise-just-solid pop tune into a classic.

#17: “Sincerity Is Scary” (Brief Inquiry)

This is a song that probably shouldn’t work: jazzy horns, an off-kilter beat and a towering gospel choir in service of a song about how the internet has ruined the way we relate to people? It’s all a bit much. But luckily, “a bit much” is The 1975′s sweet spot.

Strangely enough, this shuffling single feels effortless and natural, despite having wordy lyrics and not sounding like any Top 40 song in recently memory. Also, it’s the band’s best music video. It’s creative and absolutely adorable.

#16: “Love Me” (I like it...)

If there’s one older band The 1975 is constantly compared to, it’s ‘80s Aussie legends INXS. It’s a bit of a strange comparison — The 1975 are shameless genre-hoppers. INXS had one (really great!) signature pop-rock sound that they stuck with for most of their big hits.

But I understand where that comparison comes from, because “Love Me” is the most dead-on INXS pastiche I’ve ever heard. It wouldn’t shock me to learn it’s a cover of a forgotten Kick B-side. The wiry guitars, bouncy rhythm, winking lyrics about fame and sex, hits of wiggly synths and horns — it’s all the elements that made a song like “New Sensation” so great. The music video even features Healy, with long curly hair, preening around shirtless like Michael Hutchence!

Look, if you’re going to shamelessly rip someone off, you might as well rip off a great band at its best moment. And The 1975 channelled peak-INXS better than anyone since 1988 (even the band itself!) with “Love Me.”

#15: “Antichrist” (Facedown EP)

“Antichrist” is probably The 1975′s most goth song. It opens with a stately organ, and Healy sings the first verse in the very lowest part of his vocal register. It’s a stark departure from any other song of theirs, which of course grabs your attention.

But the funeral dirge vibes, as cool as they are, aren’t the only factor that makes “Antichrist” a great song. The minimalist guitar solo semi-chorus is stunning, like something Interpol would’ve done. And when Healy cranks up his vocal stylings for the song’s second half, it injects a bit of energy. The punishing, near-shoegaze finale to the song is masterful as well.

Despite it being a fan favorite from their very-first EP, “Antichrist” has infamously never been played live. And honestly, I’m okay with that — this seems like a bolt of gloom-and-doom lightning that would be nearly impossible to re-create in some mid-sized arena in Des Moines.

#14: “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)” (Notes)

It’s a bit of a bummer that easily the three best songs off of Notes On A Conditional Form all easily slide into The 1975′s pop-rock comfort zone. But even if that album’s experiments fell a bit flat, it’s nice to know the band can still hit its sweet spot over and over again without getting tiring.

“If You’re Too Shy” is a perfect ‘80s synthpop banger, complete with some very-1975 lyrics about a couple meeting online and immediately objectifying each other. But the lyrics are really not the selling point of the song — it’s the taut new-wave rhythm, the twinkling synths, the ROARING sax solo, and that insanely sticky chorus (maybe the catchiest the band’s had). It’s the kind of song that could’ve played during that absurd library dance scene from Breakfast Club. It’s a timeless jam of the highest order, and impossible to resist.

#13: “I Like America & America Likes Me” (A Brief Inquiry)

As much of a big deal I make about The 1975′s experimental, don’t-give-a-fuck nature, most of my favorite songs of theirs are their more conventional pop songs. Sorry, I’m lame!

But regardless, I adore “I Like America,” a truly strange electronic freakout that encapsulates all the anxieties and fears of the world’s young people. It’s electrifying and horrifying in equal measure.

Of course, a much more famous 1975 song coming on this list does this concept a little better lyrically, and has more of an actual hook to back it up. Still, there’s something poignant about “I Like America,” particularly Healy’s unhinged performance. He spends most of the song hysterically yelling out into the void lines like “I’M SCARED OF DYING, IT’S FINE” and “WOULD YOU PLEASE LISTEN.” And the chaotic, undulating wave of vocal samples, drum machines and synths seems to get stronger with every second. 

#12: “Chocolate” (Music For Cars EP, The 1975)

Easily The 1975′s biggest hit in the U.S., “Chocolate” could’ve easily pinned the band into the bin of other just-decent Tumblr-friendly indie bands in the early ‘10s. They could’ve been the British version of The Neighbourhood (remember “Sweater Weather?”).

But just because The 1975 quickly moved away from the super-sugary pop rock of “Chocolate,” that doesn’t mean the tune is a simple trifle. I mean, okay, it is — but it’s a perfect trifle! The hook is basically the entire song, and for good reason: it’s freakishly catchy. “Chocolate” is one of those songs you’ll have stuck in your head for weeks afterward. And that bouncy groove is *chef’s kiss*. 

“Chocolate” was bound to be noticed by the world: it was too pristine to be ignored.

#11: “The Sound” (I like it...)

Am I underrating this? Maybe.

When I first heard “The Sound,” it was the first 1975 song I truly loved. The bouncy house piano, thumping four-on-the-floor beat and simple sing-along chorus drew me in like a siren call. And it still sounds fantastic four years later! 

Really, the only bad thing you could say about “The Sound” is that the band made a couple even better synthpop jams later. This was sort of a warm up, their first truly great ‘80s costume party. But even though it’s been surpassed, “The Sound” is still a delight today. At the very least, it has the band’s best-ever guitar solo.

#10: “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)” (A Brief Inquiry)

Y’all know the classic Oasis power ballad “Champagne Supernova,” right? It’s incredibly epic, but the lyrics are infamously meaningless. What if a band wrote a similar Britpop power ballad, with an equally anthemic chorus, but actually injected a legitimate, moving theme?

That happened! The 1975 did it with “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes),” maybe the most uplifting song about suicide ever written. Healy penned some of his most empathetic lyrics here, all about how, well, sometimes we all want to die. Always. His chorus is a moment of glorious angsty catharsis — the emo lyrics of My Chemical Romance set to the sweeping strings and towering guitars of a Coldplay single. 

This song is 100% my sweet spot, as a person with depression who loves a corny U2 ballad. It’s a shame The 1975 don’t operate in this vein more often — they’re quite good at it.

#9: “Sex” (Sex EP, The 1975)

The 1975 are barely a “rock” band in the truest sense. Yeah, they have a guitar player and a drummer and whatnot, but most of their music leans more on the pop side of things. 

But “Sex,” one of the band’s earliest hits, legitimately rocks. It’s a raging, almost pop-punk jam that proves The 1975 can make a fantastic headbanger anytime they like. The frenzied tune is pure adrenaline, which makes sense given it’s about the forbidden thrill of cheating.

During the band’s last major tour, when “Sex” was played during the encore, the massive screen simply read “ROCK AND ROLL IS DEAD” while Matty Healy violently smashed a guitar at the song’s conclusion. Ironically, he proved the opposite.

#8: “Guys” (Notes)

This one’s just too cute.

“Guys” has an incredibly clever — and admittedly quite cheesy — conceit: Healy wrote a love song, but instead of being about romance, it’s about his platonic adoration for his fellow band members. It’s funny how most of The 1975′s songs about dating tend to be bitter or depressed, while arguably their most head-over-heels tune is about how much the four titular guys love spending time and writing songs together.

Even though it was written before the COVID-19 pandemic, “Guys” still fits the moment eerily well. Healy’s vocals and the lilting melody have a bittersweet tone, and the opening refrain of “I was missing the guys” could easily be about quarantining.

“Guys” won’t be for everyone. Some might roll their eyes at its aggressive sincerity. But if it catches me in a certain mood, it really has an effect on me. It’s perhaps the greatest bromance song ever written.

#7: “Fallingforyou” (IV EP)

The best song from The 1975′s EP era, “Fallingforyou” is a gorgeous, minimalist ballad that could’ve only come from the band’s less pretentious early years.

Healy switches between a conversational mumble and an angelic falsetto on the nocturnal track, giving it an intimate feel. It’s almost like he’s right next to you in the backseat of some car at 2 a.m. The dreamy, rumbling background gives “Fallingforyou” almost a Beach House or Chromatics vibe, and it suits the band well.

The 1975 is far too extra nowadays to try another song as quiet, serene and gimmick-free as “Fallingforyou.” But at least we have the one.

#6: “Me & You Together Song” (Notes)

The 1975 already have so many songs that try to recreate the magic of mid ‘80s pop-rock. And although they could probably keep mining that sound forever, it would be nice to see them try homages to other golden eras of pop music. And “Me & You Together Song” does just that.

With this bouncy, propulsive power pop jam, The 1975 were clearly aiming for a Y2K-era adult alternative vibe. It wouldn’t be hard to see The Goo Goo Dolls or Third Eye Blind performing a song like this, with the chugging guitars, snarky-yet-romantic lyrics and endless energy.

Daniel and Healy wrote a groove and effortless melody for “Me & You” that could probably go on forever — and it almost does! The last 75 seconds or so of the single just repeat the refrain over and over, and although normally that kind of repetition drives me nuts, it feels natural for this tune.

#5: “A Change of Heart” (I like it...)

One of two all-time classic breakup songs off of The 1975′s second album, “A Change of Heart” is crushing in the most pedestrian way. It’s not anything melodramatic or exaggerated — it’s simply the story of a couple naturally drifting apart.

Healy’s lyrics are rich with details here, from pithy asides about not smoking cigarettes correctly and Instagramming salads to a rather blunt description of falling out of love: “You used to have a face straight out of a magazine/Now you just look like anyone.”

Interestingly, Daniel decided to accompany the unromantic lyrics with some of the band’s most dreamy production. It sounds like a prom scene from a John Hughes high school movie. But that dissonance works — it sets up a fantasy and then shatters it. 

#4: “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)” (A Brief Inquiry)

You want to know why I left “The Sound” out of the top 10? Here’s why: “It’s Not Living” takes that same hyper-sleek ‘80s synthpop sound but improves upon it with a stickier hook, dark lyrics and a killer guitar riff.

Strangely for such a perky and bouncy song, “It’s Not Living” is about Healy’s struggles to get over a heroin addiction. It’s a smart lyrical trick, framing his difficulty with quitting smack as being similar to not getting over a rough breakup. And it’s downright genius to pair such a dark topic with such a fun instrumental, Passion Pit-style. “It’s Not Living” is the band’s finest pure pop song, and a success they’ll no doubt try to repeat for the rest of their career.

#3: “Robbers” (The 1975)

This is the pinnacle of The 1975′s early career young-and-dumb anthems. It turns literally robbing a bank into a sweeping, heartfelt power ballad.

Alright, alright, fine ... it’s not literally about robbing a bank; it’s a metaphor for a toxic, co-dependent relationship, according to the band. But that deeper meaning is pretty hard to pick up on when Healy’s singing about guns and screaming “NOW EVERYBODY’S DEAAAAAAD” on the bridge. Honestly, “Robbers” being a tragic Romeo and Juliet-style story sounds much more plausible.

But lyrics aside, the chugging guitars and soaring chorus hit you right in the gut. “Robbers” could be about shopping at Pottery Barn and it would still be an incredible tour-de-force of a song. But its brutal ending elevates it even further. That cruelly ironic final line, “Babe, you look so cool” — which Healy sounds like he’s singing through tears — lands like a sledgehammer every time.

#2: “Love It If We Made It” (A Brief Inquiry)

The words “generational anthem” tend to get thrown around a lot online about various tracks. But “Love It If We Made It” deserves that moniker.

I have yet to hear a song that better describes the acute stress and psychological horror of being a Millennial or Gen Zer while the world collapses around you. The ice caps are melting, police brutality is rampant, the refugee crisis is accelerating, and the world’s leaders are too corrupt and/or incompetent to do anything to fix these problems. 

Unlike many political anthems, Healy doesn’t sound angry on “Love It If We Made It.” He sounds terrified. The title itself makes the song’s theme clear: we just want to survive this mess. And we’re pretty sure that we won’t.

With 2020 being an absolutely awful year so far (oh hi, COVID!), “Love It If We Made It” unfortunately sounds just as powerful today as it did a couple years ago. Hopefully, there comes a day when this song sounds less visceral and chilling and more like a relic of the past. But that day hasn’t come yet.

#1: “Somebody Else” (I like it...)

If there is a “The 1975 sound” — which is kind of ridiculous, seeing as the band changes up their sound so much, but still — “Somebody Else” is the perfect example of it. It’s both deeply indebted to ‘80s new wave, yet wholly modern-sounding. Healy’s lyrics are laughably pretentious yet cuttingly relatable. And it packages complicated emotions into an undeniable, melancholy pop nugget.

Healy’s exploration of tangled, better emotions on “Somebody Else” about his ex — who he mistakenly thought he was over —finding a new partner is sadly a place we’ve all been. “I don’t want your body/but I hate to think about you with somebody else” — who can’t relate? 

Daniels’ nocturnal production is sleek, slippery and heartwrenching in its own right. The scattered, distorted vocal samples almost mock Healy’s emotions, and the shuffling beat adds a nice pulse to the proceedings. If you’re in the proper mood and setting, there are few better breakup songs to blast and mope around to.

"Somebody Else” one of the all-time great breakup anthems, as well as a top-tier song to drive around to at night when you’re sad. And it’s The 1975′s best-ever song.

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 39

Last time: The Blondes finally met back up with the Brunettes, Yoki was an idiot who tried to burgle the Leto-damned ARMSTRONGS, and Scar either kidnapped or “kidnapped” Winry. Onwards!

New Intro! We’ve got the two young brothers separated by wind, then the title drawn in sand before it’s white text with a glowing red TC and the brothers running in opposite directions. Are we going to have a Party Split? Nevermind, they just slowed down to the middle of the screen. Bright light, Ed should have brought a hat to this sunny bunch of rocks. Then he looks off all dramatic like as camera goes to Al trudging through a desert before he too does the Dramatic Protagonist Stare. Both brothers back to back against the Xerxes mural ok seriously betting on a Party Split here with all the opposite directions going on. Now the Elric Brothers are running at each other and yep just phased through to become Red (Ed) and Blue (Al). Looking around for each other? Whatever happens I guess Al is with May since he has Shao on his shoulder and her gripping his hand, Ed’s got Winry in unzippered gear on his side. Camera pans out to show Al with May, Scar, and Marcoh to the left, Al, Winry, and Granny Rockbell to the right. Then a bunch more people start popping up? Can’t tell who is on which team anymore. Short image of Al’s Body in the whitespace, becomes a Stone which shatters to show a smug-looking Pride. Now Ed’s running about striking shadow blades in a forest (Ed vs Pride fight?), Al’s in the rocky desert fighting more toothy Pride blades. Wrath in what looks like a basic longsleeve shirt and vest (no uniform?) fighting LING YES TURN AGAINST THE GOTHS MY GREEDY LITTLE PRINCE Envy’s in Titan form getting sliced up by YES BRING BACK BADASS NINJA BODYGUARDS. Now it’s Armstrong The Great looking serious, Sloth burst out from snow to be used as target practice by Sideburns and a bunch of tanks but Kimblee swoops in and blows the shells up. Beard’s walking along with his briefcase frowning towards Central in the distance. Ed and Al stand back to back in a TC in the desert (not as rocky as the one Ed was in, but not as sandy as the one Al was in), shot of the Door of Truth opening and shattering, ends on the Alchemist Watch covered by the title and silhouettes of the Elric Brothers. Back where we left off: It’s a cloudy and windy day in Baschool, where Scar is carrying Winry’s limp form and glaring down at Kimblee. The Ishvalan comments on how they’ve changed positions from the last time they met, the Alchemist says he shouldn’t be so confident. Episode 39 - “Daydream” Oh no Winry’s in trouble so Ed is grabbing Kimblee’s coat and yelling at him for letting his mechanic get captured, Kimblee tells him to move aside while pulling off his gloves (hey, he’s kinda Roy’s opposite in that regard), Ed blocks his arms so that he won’t hurt Winry by attacking Scar. The Ishvalan then shatters the building, creating a nice big dust cloud to walk away in. Kimblee’s about to chase after him but a mustached soldier says that it’s too dangerous to go close to the damaged building, they need to fall back. Oh, and there’s a snowstorm incoming so they have to find shelter! Man, it has just not been Kimblee’s day, has it? Ed, Sideburns, Al and some soldiers are walking along, Miles compliments Ed on his performance aha, called it! Ross Deception! Ed’s not happy about having to play along with the “stupid charade”, though. Flashback! Scar isn’t apologizing for the death of Winry’s parents. She has every right to pass judgement on him. Winry… walks away, reaches into a box, and pulls out some cloth. Oh, wow. It it wasn’t already clear, Winry is Best Girl. Bandaging an injury on her parent’s killer? Ed and Scar are equally shocked at her compassion and what. What is that face. I’m sorry, this is a sweet and touching moment and all, but Scar? What is going on with your face here?

That is quite possibly the best Does Not Compute face I’ve ever seen. Just, Scar has no idea how to process this. Winry’s saying that if her parents saved his life before, then there must have been a reason. But like Leto does this mean that she’s forgiven him for his murders. She’s not gonna cry though, she promised… wait, I thought it was Ed who promised that the next time she cried it would be tears of joy? Ah whatever. Ok, you’ve got Scar bound up. Angry boyfriend proclamations aside, time to make him decipher the book NO DON’T CALL HEADQUARTERS YOU IDIOTS. Aaaargh. Wait Scar’s asking Sideburns what he meant by “one of your people”, can’t understand how an Ishvalan could stomach being part of the Amestrian military. Sideburns responds that he’s working on the inside to change Amestrian views of Ishvalans, Scar is shocked at such an idea, and that it was an Amestrian that set Sideburns on the path. Scar can only look down. [Scar]: “Look at me. I am a festering wound of hatred born of the Ishvalan War. I am thankful that there is someone like you out there.” Aaargh but just as Scar is realizing that maybe wanton murder isn’t the way to go about things the call goes through, and Kimblee is on his way to “deal” with Scar. This drives Marcoh and May to reveal themselves. Finally! Oh, and now May can patch up Scar’s arm! Outside the Mustached Mook is noting the stormy clouds, Kimblee tells them to hurry up (gee, I wonder if he’ll get there in time?). Marcoh and May are yes thank you for Leto’s sake it took long enough they’re saying that they’ve got groundbreaking Alchemy/Alkahestry research but the only one who can read it is Scar. Sideburns notes that May is the Alkahestry girl they’ve been searching for as well, says that she needs to come back with them to Fort Briggs. Add in that Scar’s needed to read the notes and it’d be just as bad for Marcoh to be recaptured, looks like all three need to go back to the Fort. Ed’s just a mite unhappy with needing Scar’s help, Sideburns knocks him upside the head with the fact that the Goths are pulling some sort of giant TC shenanigans, they need all the info and help they can get right now. Ed stands down after the suggestion that with Scar’s help they can disgrace Kimblee and get Winry away from his clutches. One Ishvalan Oath later Scar’s judgement is postponed… and the Chimeras are waking up, uh oh. The kids balk at Sideburns’ orders to kill them, the Chimeras sadly agree with Sideburns, saying that they can never go back to their old lives. Al tries reasoning with them, appealing to their families but they’ve been told they’re dead. And it’s not like they can go back like this, we’d just be imitating the 2005 Fantastic Four, and nobody wants that.

But Al does get them to yell that “of course they want their old bodies back”, when they quite reasonably say that it can never happen Al does the helmet remove to show his Soul Armor state. [Al]: “Well I’m going back. No matter how long it takes. I’m not giving up.” Ooh, is Al getting some followers? Watch him form an army out of Chimeras tossed aside by the Goths, take them down with their own creations. Unfortunately the snowstorm’s coming in, meaning that they can’t reach the Fort until it passes. And Kimblee’s on his way, so they need a plan- [Yoki]: “This is a mining town, isn’t it? Why don’t we just go into the underground tunnels?” [Everyone]: *turns in surprise to the secret tactical genius in their midst* [Yoki]: “W-what’s wrong? I mean, this is a pretty large mine, right? So surely there’s a tunnel that can take us beyond the mountains, uh… I think?” [Everyone]: “That’s it!” [Yoki, Tactical Genius]: “H-hey, give me some credit; this is what I did for a living!” Ha! Way to finally pull your weight, you C-tier flashback antagonist! Confirming that the tunnels go past the mountains- wait. Wait wait wait. Isn’t the whole point of the mountains that they are between Amestris and Drachma? Ooh, do we finally get to see another country?! Please let my dream of missionary Drachma’s with Leto pamphlets be a reality! Sideburns gives Marcoh notes for any Briggs soldiers the meet after the tunnel (watch them run into Drachmans first and cause all sorts of problems: “These people have notes written in Amestrian! They must be spies from Fort Briggs!”). But what about Winry? If she just up and vanishes with them then Kimblee will suspect the Elrics of foul play! [Winry]: “Um, I hate to be the one to suggest this, but, uh… What do you think Kimblee would do if I was suddenly taken hostage by Scar?” Whoa, so kidnapped!Winry was Winry’s idea? Props to you, mechanic! Mid-ep pictures of Winry Rockbell and human Jerso/Toad and Zampano/Boar. Ed and Al are understandably uneasy with the plan, but Winry shouts them down about being able to at least choose her captor if she’s a hostage either way. Come on Protagonists, learn that you don’t have to or can do everything by yourselves! Scar again promises to protect Winry before Ed lets him loose, when the Chimeras as to be taken along as well. They’ve failed which means Kimblee’s going to kill them either way… [Boar]: “Besides, we don’t want to give up either.” Look at you go Alphonse, already with your two inhuman followers! Also, they’re just a little confused and upset about all this talk of this band of misfits trying to stop some catastrophe that threatens their families along with all of Amestris. Y’know, just a minor detail. Kimblee’s inbound, better hurry. Sideburns asks wait what they’re back to human? Uh ok, with all the talk about being monsters I was kinda assuming that their beast forms were permanent, not something that they could consciously deactivate. Kinda undercuts the whole “we want our human bodies back” if they can shapeshift back like this. The groups are splitting up (to my surprise it’s not the Elric Brothers who are going different ways, at least for now), a soldier remarks that Winry needs to remove her earrings ok what. Seriously, what? This just totally broke my immersion, you cannot tell me that now is the moment when having metal earrings in the frozen north would cause discomfort and haven’t been an issue yet, especially when she came up north specifically because her boyfriend’s metal arm was seizing up. But whatever, she gives them to Ed for safekeeping before promising to see him back at the Fort. Ed gazes up after her, clenching his fist and probably crushing those precious earrings that he was just trusted with. Nice going, kiddo. Explosion! Acting! Snowstorm! Those left in Baschool are sheltering in a building, alternately looking at girlfriend’s jewelry, wondering where their fellow Chimeras have gone, and arguing for planning the next leg of the search. Then Sideburns gets a call from the Fort? Ooooooooh, right. There was that whole “forces from Central showing up to look for Raven” thing going on last time. And our guys are walking right into that mess. Whoops. Down in the tunnel Marcoh’s going on and on about how the Rockbell Doctors were widely respected during the Ishvalan War, how they helped all without regard for themselves. Meanwhile Scar’s walking in the back having flashbacks to Winry’s “I don’t forgive your wanton murdering”, an Ishvalan Elder telling Scar that while he should never forgive the Military’s “wanton murder” that he must abide it-

-to break the chain of hatred, and his brother saying he studies Alchemy to replace hatred with understanding. And here is Scar, following the orders of an Ishvalan who willingly works in the Military to change it, representing the ideals of Scar’s brother and Elders. So what does that make him? Yoki’s having the group stop in an underground office, to pick up a more detailed map of the tunnels. Man, who’d have thought that freaking Yoki would be the most useful party member at this point. Or ever? Inspired by Al, Toad and Boar are pestering Marcoh about any clues in the journal (that he can’t read), they banter with each other about their families. Aw, they’re actually friends! Nice to show that even the Central forces have loved ones, hopefully for real this time after that infuriating Bradley & Selim fakeout. May? What’s wrong? Oh. Oh yeah. Her whole mission was to learn the secret of the Philosopher’s Stone, only to find out it’s based on suffering and the obtaining of immortality for one at the expense of so, so many others. And His Imperial Highness, aka her father, apparently would make one without a moment’s hesitation using any number of his people. So apparently he leans more towards Wrath’s philosophy of leadership than Ling’s. But if she doesn’t bring back the secret of immortality, her clan is in danger from all the others. Marcoh says that the notes might have the humane secret to immortality, they just need to hurry up get to the Fort so Scar can get a-translating. [Ed]: “What do you mean, ‘the Fort is no longer safe’?!” Welp. Just when we get Armstrong The Great as an ally, she’s been summoned back to Central and a Military Officer’s getting put in her place, along with a bunch of other Central forces. So now the Tunnel Team is walking into a hostile environment without knowing. They have to be warned, but how? Ed wants to go but he’ll freeze before he gets anywhere close… [Al]: “There is a way! Listen: send someone who doesn’t have a body. That storm won’t freeze me to death!” Uh, Al? Sure I guess you wouldn’t catch hypothermia, but you’re still a giant suit of steel armor. Remember how there was that whole “Ed’s arm freezing up” problem that was fixed by replacing his entire arm? You don’t have body heat like a living person, your limbs are just gonna ice up. Actually, how the Leto hasn’t that happened yet? Huh. I guess Souls act as armor heaters too, Al’s having more trouble just seeing where he’s walking in the blizzard than actually moving. He sees the path but the winds picks up and the screen whites out from the snow GAH ZOMBIE AL! Oh shit how did Al end up in the Whitespace? Uh, well you’ve found your body? Quick, grab it and let’s get wait no it was an illusion. What, you getting snow madness buddy? Oh. Oh shit. We’ve got a flashback to Barry musing that foreign bodies can’t hold souls for too long, Al’s freaking out about his body trapped in Whitespace, pulling on his soul as it’s rejected by his armor… he can’t think about that right now, he has to hurry. Without the map now, since he dropped it after that vision. Oh hell it’s this asshole. [Uncle]: “Alphonse Elric. Edward Elric. And also… there’s… Van Hohenheim. Izumi Curtis, she’s a possibility-” Aside from all the awfulness of listing off Potential Sacrifices, which is looking a lot more like ‘killing all of these people, not just one or the other’, did you just purposefully knock over Izumi’s piece? Rude, and I can’t wait to see her punch you. “That leaves one more.” New end credits! Rapid guitar music as we race through a 3D hallway/tunnel, outside looks like Ed’s standing in the ruins of the Elric house, Al’s somewhere else standing among some tall square rocks. Flashes of red-eyed Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, Pride, and Uncle (what, no Lust, Greed or Sloth?) A look at Riza’s scarred back with that strange symbol before she turns and I am very sorry for walking in while you were changing ma’am, I’ll be going now. Roy’s still in his eveningwear outfit probably trying to get someone to take all those flowers off his hands, Beard is oh Leto what is happening with your face, are you actually smiling. That looks so weird, stoppit. Oh hey it’s Mama Elric, so sad that we lost you before we could fully appreciate your snark. Ah there’s the scowling Beard that we know, go kick Uncle’s ass. We’ve got Ed jumping and Al and LING YES BRING HIM BACK and a lion and monkey oh my Leto is Al actually going to build a Chimera Army this is the best thing of all time yeah there’s Toad and Boar we are totally getting Rebel General Al. Also there’s Alchemist-Slayer Scar on their side now but who cares CHIMERA ARMY ok fine we also get May and oh Marcoh’s getting in on the action looks like he lost a few teeth wait Yoki no we need you as the secret tactical genius get off the front lines. Selim’s there looking all cute and innocent in his little schoolkid guise until his shadow gets teethy and attacks Ed. Winry’s power walking through a hallway (can’t see if she got her earrings back). Then a bunch of hands reaching up, one larger one grasping a smaller one (which ship will sail?!) before we’re back in the tunnel, shots of Ed and Al and Beard before a final map of the country-sized TC.

[askthegreenguys]

1ST RULE: tag 9 muses you would like to know better. 2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse.

Tagged by: @same-stages-different-players​

Tagging: I’m tennis bossing this right back at you @same-stages-different-players​ and I request Cull and also Rep in @siblings-a-fixin​, @kitterahsdollhouse​ (whichever muse), @askthegreenknight​, and @monokuro-adventures​ (also whichever muse) and whoever else wants to steal

MUSE:  *cries* Uh.... Let’s do Song officially but I’ll sneak in the other boys in the notes FC: I personally find faceclaims weird? Here have my avatar of him (you can’t see his pretty green eyes but oh well)

OCCUPATION: High school senior by day, musical hero also by day because time travel 

(Sky, Time, Light, and Green were knights, Mini was a blacksmith, Quarters was in Search and Rescue, Wind did whatever the hell he wanted, Sparky was an engineer, Twilight was a stay-at-home dad, and Brown did whatever got him to the next day)

AGE: Ha. Let’s go with 18 (time travel’s a bitch, even he doesn’t know how old he is anymore)

(Because the numbers are funny as hell, Sky is 17.5/81/3,370 Mini is 10/57/2,631 Quarters is 11/52/2,317 Time is 16/48/2,073 Twilight is 16/63/1,701 Wind is 12/57/1,649 Sparky is 13/79/1,596 Light is 14/67/1,402 Brown is 16/132/905 and Green and co are 15/65/512. yes, I do have an actual timeline with all the birth/death/important event dates on it (those are how old they look on the blog/how old they were when they died/how long it’s been since they were born btw))

SEXUALITY: straight. you could call him “Zelda-sexual” because she’s really the only girl he’s been interested in.

(Green and co are ace and Time at least is bi. It ultimately doesn’t matter much because every single one of these idiots is either the “fell in love so gradually they had no idea it had even happened” or “struck by lightning love at first sight” type, so there was little to no dating around before getting married)

PRONOUNS: He/Him

appearance:

i am 5'7" or taller (the shortasses are Mini, Twilight, and Wind, although I think they all do at least hit 5′7″)

i wear glasses

i have at least one tattoo (Wind, Twilight, Sparky, and Light do)

i have at least one piercing (everyone but Light, Brown, and Green)

i have blonde hair (Everyone but Brown (hence the nickname) and kinda sort Light he’s a strawberry blond)

i have brown eyes (Sparky and Brown do)

i have short hair 

my abs are at least somewhat defined (This is true of pretty much everyone. They get lots of exercise yo)

i have or have had braces

personality:

i love meeting new people (all the boys are pretty friendly, but Quarters, Wind, and Sparky are the real extroverts)

people tell me that i’m funny (Song and Time both have an unfortunate love of puns, Quarters and Red are pretty goofy, Wind’s sassy side has some real gems)

helping others with their problems is a big priority for me (It’s Link they’re practically the textbook definition of solving other people’s problems)

i enjoy physical challenges (they all do)

i enjoy mental challenges (they also all do, which is good because the dungeons are a doozy sometimes)

i’m playfully rude with people i know well (Time, Wind, Green, and Blue are)

i started saying something ironically and now i can’t stop saying it

there is something i would change about my personality

ability:

i can sing well (Song doesn’t like to, Twilight and Light are also good singers)

i can play an instrument HAHAHA HIS NICKNAME IS SONG FOR A REASON (Sky, Mini, Time, Sparky, and Light can play instruments as well)

i can do over 30 pushups without stopping (ya true of everyone)

i’m a fast runner (Quarters is pretty quick, Sky also but he has lousy stamina)

i can draw well  (Brown and Mini)

i have a good memory (most of the boys do. Brown is a bit scatterbrained though)

i’m good at doing math in my head

i can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (Wind eventually got good at this)

i have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling (most of the boys have. Twi as a ghost can beat some of the boys as shades)

i know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (pretty much all the boys are self sufficient. Time’s cooking skills are a bit sad though)

i know how to throw a proper punch (Light and Green can knock someone out with a single punch)

hobbies: (these will just be Song)

i enjoy playing sports

i’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (he used to be on a hockey team before he moved in with his grandparents)

i’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (the only thing he’s not in is choir, much to the teacher’s frustration)

i have learned a new song in the past week

i work out at least once a week

i’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

i have drawn something in the past month

i enjoy writing

i do or have done martial arts

experiences: (also just Song)

i have had my first kiss

i have had alcohol

i have scored the winning goal in a sports game

i have watched an entire season of a tv show in one sitting

i have been at an overnight event

i have been in a taxi

i have been in the hospital or er in the past year

i have beaten a video game in one day

i have visited another country (does ancient Hyrule count?)

i have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

relationships:

i’m in a relationship (ditto for everyone but Green and co)

i have a crush on a celebrity

i have a crush on someone i know

i have been in at least 3 relationships (just Light actually)

i have never been in a relationship (just Green and co. They don’t really care for the romance thing)

i have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them (most of the boys eventually. A couple like the adult timeline trio it was just mutually understood)

i get crushes easily (no one, surprisingly)

i have had a crush on someone for over a year (remember what I said about the slowest of slow burns? That’s Sky, Wind, and Song)

i have been in a relationship for at least a year

i have had feelings for a friend (with the exception of Mini and Quarters who practically fell in love at first sight, this applies to everyone)

my life: (just Song again)

i have at least one person i consider a “best friend”

i live close to my school

my parents are still together (even though they’re dead...)

i have/had at least one sibling

i live in the united states

there is snow right now where i live

i have hung out with a friend in the past month

i have a smartphone

i have at least 15 cd’s

i share my room with someone

random shit: (just Song again)

i have break-danced

i know a person named jamie

i have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

i have dyed my hair (it used to be bright crayon red during the punk phase)

i’m listening to one song on repeat right now (does whatever he’s practicing count?)

i have punched someone in the past week

i know someone who has gone to jail

i have broken a bone

i have eaten a waffle today

i know what i want to do with my life (He wants to compose movie scores)

i speak at least 2 languages (3! he also is conversational in Hylian Sign Language and Goron)