#unfortunately im not like them and it is possible for me to waste my time.

[bronzetomatoes]

hi guys im back. just spent 2 hours on 17776 before accepting i wasn't gonna get through it all in one sitting 😭

[paper-mario-wiki]

i'm loving seeing you post more of your art!! out of curiosity, how long have you been drawing? is there anything specific you do to practice or do you just pick something and draw it? (i've been trying to learn to draw myself for the past year or so, and seeing your art more often has become somewhat of an inspiration for me!)

ive been doodling all my life! thought when i say "doodle" i mean "as an unmedicated youth i was unable to focus on a drawing for more than 45 minutes at a time"

here's some posts from an art blog i had in middle school, and the first year of highschool.

what most critically separates this art from the art ive been doing recently is that i NEVER used any refrence. ever. i looked at stuff to make sure i knew what it looked like, but the rest was always roughly estimated based on what i thought would look good (which was largely based on cartoons).

but i only ever started trying to "learn how to draw" over the past year. here's the thing: spending a bunch of hours practicing drawing cubes and cylinders is like. all you have to do to see yourself start improving in real time.

draw a bunch of cubes and cylinders, and learn how to make them look realistic in proportion to each other using references to guide you. practice drawing stuff like basic buildings, cans of soda, maybe a cake (3 short fat cylinders on top of each other) if you're feeling daring. then try to draw slightly more complicated shapes, like spheres and cones and stuff. layer these shapes on top of each other to make more complicated shapes. you're gettin the picture.

infuriatingly, basic shapes is like 40% of the "getting it to click" work done.

after than, move on to 30 second sketches of nude models using this site. yeah, only 30 seconds. it doesnt matter if it comes out looking like shit, the point is learning how to simplify complicated shapes down into their most basic lines. dont waste time erasing. dont waste time pressing ctrl-z. erasing is your enemy. you arent learning how to erase, you're learning how to draw. (you'll get your eraser back later).

do this hundreds of times. yeah, hundreds. put on a podcast or something. get in a voice call with your friends. but ya gotta practice this one. that's the next 20% of making it "click".

now, unfortunately, the last 40% is just a matter of slamming your head against the wall of art until things slowly start to look better and better. it's sort of like a chemical formula, in that the closer you get to 100% purity, the more and more difficult it becomes to distill it.

the key is to ALWAYS use reference. you cannot learn how to realistically draw something you've conjured from your mind if you cannot depict something that's right in front of you realistically.

im currently in this valley, as most artists are. in fact i dont think it's possible to make art "click" in your mind 100%, but it sure is fun to inch closer and closer!

below is a bunch of art in chronological order from april to now. you'll see that it's not really a straight road of getting better and better, but you'll see my lines slowly getting more confident and details becoming more clearly defined!

[an0ldworld]

Hi i was wondering if you could do a male s/o that gets super insecure and uncomfortable when people look at his top surgery scars and he hates it when people miss gender him and Miles Morales Miles 42 Hobie Pavitr Prabhakar and Spider-Noir are there to defend or shut the people that miss gender him or glare at them to the point where the other person gets uncomfortable and stop looking at the male reader I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense i just type really fast and don't re-read it at some points

Anyways I absolutely love your writing work I really enjoy it and everything, have a lovely day or night ❤️💕

hobie, 1610!miles, 42!miles, pavitr and noir defending their transmasc partners

ok this took me a while i admit but i hope you enjoy !

established, separate relationships

warnings: i’m sleepy

pairing: hobie brown x transmasc!reader, earth-1610 miles morales x transmasc!reader, earth-42 miles morales x trans!mascreader, pavitr prabhakar x transmasc!reader, spider-noir x transmasc!reader

requests: check out the blog-guide for info !

he’s rapidly approaching

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

punk personified

you two were getting ready for a sick concert you’ve been looking forward to for a small while now, moral is high and all’s good

ofc it’s punk, and hobie will be damned if you don’t dress the part with him

he started diying you guys outfits for this specific concert a few weeks beforehand, and he’s super proud of them ! very happy to show you and he hopes you like them

you like them . because i said so

however, it did include a shirt that looks like it had been torn up in every way possible

depending on what ur comfortable with, it can either be a crop top that rides up just a little too much when you jump about and stretch OR it’s one of those tank tops where the sides of your torso simply aren’t covered, very low cut sides

so yeah, your top surgery scars are in the breeze

intentional ? who knows, this is hobie we’re talking about

maybe hobie’s tryna get you to step out of your comfort zone and feel more comfortable in ur skin in an environment where he knows you won’t be judged

perhaps he simply did not take this into consideration because he doesn’t even think twice about ur scars

regardless, they’re out, you both look sick, im forever furious that we were deprived of tank top hobie in low riders PLEASE (he exists in my dreams)

the concert isn’t the problem- don’t call urself punk if ur a bigot we all know this

it’s the walk there that really sucked

you and hobie got some intense stares from people as you walked hand in hand to this thing

naturally, hobie ate that shit up, kept his head high the whole time and doesn’t bat an eye at this people

you’re not as confident, unfortunately . catching people looking at your scars makes you feel all sorts of insecure, which is valid man

hobie also gets this, and god knows he looks for every excuse to antagonise those closed minded people so he’s very content to start a fight

cant care less when it comes to people judging him, he knows who he is and he’s proud asf, not gonna waste his breath on that

but when hobie sees his boyfriend curling in on himself because of strangers in the street that aren’t shit, that’s when he can be bothered to pay some mind to them

it’s subtle, for your sake . doesn’t wanna draw any more attention and risk getting caught up in this when you’ve both been looking forward to this concert for so long

so instead of outright starting a fight, he uses that scary privilege he knows he has and just stared them down in such a disrespectful way

the way that you’re both dressed too, i’m sure that it works

doesn’t relent either, will stare until the other people stop staring

ideally ? he wants to make them walk away and stop bothering you, but he’s alright with exchanging a scowl for the person to look away instead, preferably in shame

when they’re taken care of, that’s that . he wants you two to forget about that and have fun at this gig, sound good ? he wants to see you genuinely enjoying yourself in your own skin, surrounded by the people that make him feel more like himself too

besides, scars are nothing to be ashamed of or to hide

the walk home is a lot more peaceful

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

i’m sorry u were ever hurt

you two are off to the water park (using the american word, sorry fellow brits :() together, enjoy ur youth

imagine how cool you two are rolling up in ur swimming trunks

i wholeheartedly believe that miles is an absolute sap and would wanna match- i die on the hill that he’s a born to “hi ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ” forced to “wsg”

anyway, go have fun at the baths

that’s what miles expects anyway, fun with no strings attached, as most would

but that’s not how the world works, unfortunately

some people live to be hateful and have sad, empty, boring, gloomy, pathetic, waste of space lives, and you have to go through the misfortune of enduring some really vicious stares . all because you’re a guy with a few scars on his chest

people talk, you might overhear some stuff about ur character that makes you really insecure and upset

takes miles a little minute to clock the way you’re trying to fold your arms to hide your scars, but he catches on pretty quickly that it’s because of the people around you

is immediately by your side and looking concerned as hell

initially assumed that you might be in some pain, maybe the chlorine is fucking w ur scar tissue

sympathetic and checking in on you in the gentlest way when he notices that sadness

“w-hey, what’s happenin? you good?” standing really close and tilting his head to make eye contact with you if you’re looking down or away, hands are grazing your elbows to hold you

miles cares, a lot

speak ur mind man, tell him what’s going on

looks over your shoulder and at the people making you feel uncomfortable with that determined look

ushers you away, doesn’t want you around those kind people . bad vibes, he doesn’t fuck w it

probably goes snitch to staff lmao

and that’s how much he cares, he’d get stitches for u (ﾉд`)

but miles isn’t about to let the day be ruined by transphobes- god forbid

so he’s gonna try hard to make you forget about that interaction, it’s like a switch when he suddenly becomes all energetic again and is basically dragging you back towards the water

wants to hear you start laughing real fast

if miles venom striked the pool would everyone fucking die ?

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

cat

GYM BABY

PE class gotta suck with all those bitchy teens being closed minded for no good reason and thinking it’s funny to openly judge and mock the things they don’t understand

miles is very mature and knows that bullying just isn’t cool, downright stupid and bullies should honestly be embarrassed to show their face

but because the changing rooms are so small, he can’t even attempt to ignore the comments he’s hearing, all directed at his boyfriend who’s just trying to change for class

you’re minding your own business, why can’t they mind theirs ?

is another person that doesn’t wanna give you a worse time by antagonising those freaks and picking a fight, will instead just stare over his shoulder

works, miles 42 has a mean side eye, straight up vicious

he knows that won’t resolve the issue, people are so resilient w their hate and

gets insanely irritated if someone suggests you changing somewhere else . honestly would just prefer for there to be some tension in the locker room instead of isolating you away while you changed, couldn’t stand that idea because it’s flat out not fair . on top of a number of other things

can ignore the tension, doesn’t know about you

talks to you about not backing down, you have every right ro be in there and you shouldn’t feel in any way negatively about it

don’t give those closed minded people the satisfaction of making you feel bad about yourself and accommodating to them

makes an excellent point one day

“why are you watchin’ my boyfriend change..?” says it so slowly and it got real awkward after that

won’t tell a teacher unless you want to, then he’ll be moral support and be waiting for you outside the office

anyway, man’s got a killer deadeye to keep people in line and tries to not antagonise people too much

just get changed, that’s what you’re there to do people

stop being weird abt it

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

please don’t die

i’m a huge fan of those people that see a trans flag and immediately try to pull a “you’ll never be a real woman >:C” to a trans man

like yeah, thanks man, really appreciate it

it’s happened to you once or twice in the street, you or pav have some kind of pin or smthn and you’re literally just approached by strangers who have nothing better to do with their day

the most meaningful thing abt it is talking to you two honestly, ur just that cool

i can see him reading people just to point out their insecurities because violence isn’t the answer

it’s a last resort, but imagine you two simply minding your own business and this blank slate of a person decides to make a comment on your masculinity

“it’s okay sweetie, they’re just trying to overcompensate for their lack of a personality ! (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)” huh 👁️👁️

pays literally no mind to them, pretends nothing happens and keeps walking with you

it’s like an invisible force field, bounces right off of him and somehow hurts the other person more

walking embodiment of that “i am rubber you are glue, what bounces off of me stick to you” and he probably recites that, too

but yeah, so insanely unbothered that i would maybe check up on him from time to time ? how is he always so chipper ? is bro good ?

but it’s infectious, so you can’t let it get to you either, it’s hard to feel sad around pav

he will somehow coincidentally always find something to immediately take ur mind off if it

after a shitty interaction with someone talking about pronouns and how theirs are an inanimate object, he miraculously spots a food stand you guys haven’t tried yet

does that Σ(ﾟロﾟ) face of his while gasping and drags you over, no questions asked

interrupts the person with the longest gasp, one would assume he hadn’t had a breath of fresh air ever

“look look! we have to try it!” pointing like that fuckin Soyjaks meme and ur gone, bigot is left in the dust

i’ve heard food is great therapy, and he believes so too

so scran down on some good street food while pavitr looks like a beam of sunshine despite just ruining a persons self esteem for the rest of their lie

it’s deserved though, so you can both sleep well

yknow what else slaps ? some chai, go home and have some w his aunty who thinks you’ve a very handsome young man

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

why the fuck is he so broad hang on

she/her a he/him and get shot, idk mans got a whole firearm for a reason

it’s takes him a little while to understand trans slander, but eventually it becomes like a fine art to him because i think he has a tendency to hyperfixate on things until he understands them in violent detail (autistic. he’s violently autistic coded. cant read a room, hyperfixated on his favourite colour, struggles to express himself through his tone.. yknow)

so if one day someone happens to catch sight of your scars and starts to talk shit in whatever 30’s slang from his dimension and modern slang from your own, he is so ready to give this speech on discrimination

theres a power point slide too but he doesn’t know how that works

gives up not even half way because he got frustrated and started cursing them out instead

“look, you seem like lovely people- no, no you don’t”

he has anger issues

there’s a lot of “and my boyfriend!” followed by a compliment, he managed to throw a few in there for good measure

says something about the colour purple at one point, i don’t know how that happened

please steer him away before someone gets shot over colour theory (surprised it hasn’t happened yet, ammarite fellow artists ? 😀 )

apologises for getting carried away, has to stop himself from talking about colours again he’s just such a peter and so unserious

“i’m sorry i- that must have been hard for you” clearly it was harder for u dear god

is likely the most insistent on doing anything and everything to make you feel better, is open to suggestions and is basically begging for them

while everyone else is low-key for ur own sake, this man’s about to buy you the world with his 4 dollars which is pretty impressive in his dimension

insists on doing your favourite things, is suggesting this and that, left right and centre

is convinced it’s the end of the world, this is reinforced since you seemed so upset and uncomfortable being misgendered by some people on the street

if you’re plenty happy to settle doing something, he’s thrilled and is giving it his 110% just for you

go watch a movie, careful not to point out the colours of noir will then realise that movies are no longer in black and white and starts asking you if everything is purple

“what a lovely purple :]” pan to like a whole pyramid

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

anyway, can you tell that hobie is easiest for me to write for and that i was running out of ideas ?

let me know how you feel about it !

if this flops i’m gonna have to go on a long stroll

[yayasvalveplay]

IM BACKKKKK I decided to binge watch the Apothecary Diaries, im on season 1 rn that I read on Miss Pancake's ask in the DW branch au AND NOW I CAN FINALLY UNDERSTAND AND ADD IN MY OWN SILLY THOUGHTSSS

More specifically on Requiem in this branch au AND maybe a bit of Sari because since obviously Lord Megatron's first daughter died, the ship was never found or her remains. He of course never grew up with the main expectation placed by Tarn of serving her, only with the goal of serving Lord Megatron and the Decepticon Cause.

I like to think in this au he could possibly become a body gaurd for the younger siblings, especially Tronus of they exist in this au- who knows, I can mainly see him remaining under the DJD's 'mentorship'.

But the main thing is that Requiem of course would've seen Sari as just any other autobot.

When he arrives to the Red District to pick up his carrier, entrusted by his Sire with this simple mission first time alone I'm actually going crazy over this part because I ACTUALLY GOT SOME LORE SHIT WRITTEN IN THE MAIN AU INVOLVING WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS TO REQUIEM WHEN SENTINEL WAS GONE NEHEHEHE TO SEE THE ENGINE ON HIS SHIP STOLEN BY A TINY MINIBOT

HE OBVIOUSLY AND IMMEDIATELY HATES HER ON THE SPOT BECAUSE IT TOOK SO LONG TO FIND A REPLACEMENT ENGINE FOR HIS SPECIFIC SHIP EVEN WITH HELP. With so many bots try to suck up to him or scam him; them luckily getting the first warning clear not to waste his time when he's trying to find the tiny criminal and of course his carrier; who's in distress and just wants to leave and Requiem wants to leave too but not after he catches this impressive for a minibot but shes an autobot thief. Requiem had been juggling between that and his investigation that unfortunately; he messes up again with not noticing Sari leaving the docks with the merchant ships.

When his ship is FINALLY repaired, his carrier secured. Requiem head back to Cyberton, adding the little thief to his new personal list to hunt down; Requiem will not let this go, infact he will... shamefully hide this event from the DJD. As disgusting as lying to his own sire is; claiming that Requiem accidentally damaged his ship... the fact that a tiny autobot did this to Requiem... and got away with it... and a deep tiny part of him... is impressed, would be even more shameful. Requiem would rather die.

NOW ON SARI'S SIDE. Because when she meets Gladiator Wheelie; most likely by the time she reaches Cybertron and the pits. Sari or Selestine by knows that by now, the owners have noticed her disappearance.

Given that Sari is an investment to them. It's safe to say that they will most likely send people after her. Sari had just escaped, she's free now but... she has no where to go now; while she can just hide out in her ship. Someone will bound to take notice so what if when she helps Wheelie, they talk for a bit. Sari needs a place to stay and hide, and while Wheelie would've helped her regardless, can see that she would be could at helping him and the others in the pit. The handlers would no doubt allow her as long as she does her job so BAM Sari winds up as a fellow worker in the Gladiator Pits.

AKDKJF LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU OR MISS PANCAKE THINK BECAUSE I LOVE THIS BRANCH SO MUCH ALREADY 💕

AHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

Requim: if I had a shanix for every time an autobot impressed me I'd have two shanix. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it's happened twice.

But ohh yessss she is on his hit list . And he isn't going to stop hunting her down. He's running on a clock though, if the brothel get to her first. She'd most likely be sent back and forced to take a patron. But if she's captured by Requiem. She'd dead.

Ahhh now I'm trying to see how this would all go over. Sari being a gladiator alongside wheelie. And ohh they are both so loved and Requiem can't help. But be interested In the new tag team duo. What made Wheelie change his mind in doing double battles. What's so impressive about this new fem rhats even smaller than him bur can pack a punch?

Ahhhh Mion please I need. Both of these aus. I need your ideas girl. They make me smile.

[loveislandthegame]

thoughts on todays volume ! the summer nightmare is finally over 🎉

of course, i chose to couple up ruby. reid and kane are unceremoniously dumped (FB didn't bother sending us to the front door to say goodbye lmao) we're finally free from the sad glances, the "so-and-so is absolutely devastated as you flirt with ruby, despite the fact you have been doing so for the entire season."

(i originally wrote that i was surprised dominic didn’t walk, but from what i've seen on reddit, it seems like he actually does if you choose OG LI. i guess he got lumped in with that thing where if you couple up with a girl, your rival doesn't get dumped)

next up is the final date ! apologies in advance, considering the million other problems with this season i know this is very petty to complain about…yacht ?! that is a pirate ship ! they got us searching for the One Piece as a final date 😭

i like the cave background for the gem scene though, it’s pretty !

and this scene was made for me, thee ocean nerd 🌊 (i chose limpet because shark wasn’t an option 😭)

next up is prom ! when i tell you i almost yelled when i saw the suggested dress 😭 it’s not that i think it’s ugly. i can't wait to see other ppl's MCs in it...my problem is that i was going for a MC that’s as goth as the game will let you possibly be. seeing her in that gave the same energy as allison’s makeover in the breakfast club

unfortunately there’s no suit. in fact, the only outfit that's not a dress appears to be fashion nova mummy bandages. the purple dress is fine, and i loved the black dress. i usually keep the same hair the whole season but i decided to switch it up

FB gave up on the “female LI leaving the room so our outfits would be a surprise” thing here, which is very weird because they literally just had her do that for the final date, where we wore the same swimwear as always 😭 whatever, i think ruby’s dress is very cute (i think they could've gone with something more boho, but i still like it)

up next is some dancing, and then you have the opportunity to waste gems on playing some game. the only way i could see it being "worth it" is that sonya apologises to MC, but if she's already left the villa for the majority of players, then there's no point lmfao

with maisie wearing a white (more of a cream but you get the point) dress for prom, and all the talk about kenzo’s "big plan," i was like “if this man proposes to her im putting down the phone” ... apparently i'm cursed with apollo's gift of prophecy

i know you fucking lying—

i'm not surprised about there being a proposal, i figured this would happen with all the weird wedding shit in the last volume. however, up until the dress & weird focus on kenzo i mentioned above, i thought it would be jace and esme. it still would’ve been ridiculous, but it would’ve made more sense with them. kenzo and maisie have barely known eachother for a week ! what do they have in common, besides the fact that their casa partners ain't shit ?

i chose the diamond option just to get away from that mess, only to realise i got myself into yet another LITG finale treasure hunt. thankfully, it's pretty brief. my MC got a candle, because that’s what i chose for an anniversary gift in the love in the fast lane challenge.

we drop our i love you’s, aww

i’ve lost count on the amount of times we’ve had the opportunity to “go all the way” in this volume lmao

next up are the final declarations ! it ended up being underwhelming af, but at least we’re girlfriends now (i don’t think anybody cares about what happens with dominic and sonya, but for those who are curious, they agree to just be friends)

our LI asks us to pay 29 gems to go to paris ?! mon dieu ! (i wish i kept track of diamond scene totals, it felt like this volume reached a thousand)

finale time, we won !🎉 jin’s the host. he mentions his wife that he met in the villa, which is cute if you romanced him but my s8 MC is with claudia (i don't even know who he'd be with then, sienna ?😭)

love or money time, i picked love, of course. honestly i’m curious what happens if you chose money and you also bought the “going to paris after the show” diamond scene, but i'm too lazy to replay this episode to check

if you bought that scene, you get a little epilogue in paris. we have to split one pain au chocolat despite having £50,000...we also talk about meeting ruby's loved ones, which reminded me that this finale didn't even have a family phone call this time around (i guess FB gave up after all the LI parent inconsistencies in winning hearts lol)

all that this season "filled my world with" was "doubt that i'll even bother playing the next one" lmao ... speaking of the next season, i was surprised that i didn't see a giant advertisement when i first opened the app

overall, this ending wasn’t as much of a disaster as it could’ve been. with that being said, this season is complete garbage and this ending was absolutely rushed. why on earth are the final recoupling and the finale happening one in-game day apart ?? not to mention that kenzo proposing was deeply unserious, i have no idea why FB even included that (apparently this proposal can happen with ruby and reid ? which makes even less sense) i’m just glad it wasn’t dragged out

[cruesuffix]

that nikki ask already got me in heat with the deranged nikki stans so i’ll beg of all of you to never send me any asks about nikki again, because i will hurt their feelings and remind them they’re stanning a rapist :) idgaf about nikki. i have feelings towards him about the whole mick thing, and with other things he’s done in the past but i genuinely don’t really hate him. unfortunately, you call the mf out and all of a sudden, you’ve got like a bunch of parasocial little girls who want to marry him coming for you if you even mention his name. so now…if you think i don’t like him, fine. if you think i do like him, fine. idgaf anymore. you literally can’t share a damn opinion anymore cause now everyone’s on your ass about “you’re not a true fan if you don’t like nikki.” oh…im sorry, i didn’t know you had to like every single damn member to be a fan. mind you, a lot of you bitches (not on this app at least) think mick is ugly, think vince can’t sing, talk about how tommy looks like he’s on drugs, and don’t even mention the other four members who have been in the band at certain points. you don’t have to like every single member to be a damn fan, and tbh i have problems with a lot of the members in this band. doesn’t mean i hate them all, just means that im at least willing to hold them accountable, something A LOT of you bitches refuse to do. so don’t cry wolf when i give you the hard facts about your favs, if you can’t handle it get right off my page.

and i knew that ask would get me in trouble, but i didn’t think saying idgaf about nikki would result in someone accusing me of not being a fan…why would I make a blog about the damn band if i wasn’t a fan? why would the band appear on my top artists list on spotify wrapped if i wasn’t a fan? why would i waste so much time talking about my loser guitarist if i wasn’t a fan? why would i try to engage with other blogs that are mainly focused on the band if i wasn’t a fan? so, im not a fan if i don’t overlook every single problematic thing my favs have done? im not a fan if i pretend none of it happened? im not a fan for favouring LESS problematic members of the band over the more problematic ones? why don’t you guys just sue me then? kill me, pls take me out of my damn misery if it hurts you so much. stab me in the abdomen and get it over with if im such a problem then. like…i say i don’t care but it hurts me when i’ve done nothing but love this band for almost a year just to get put down and told i can’t possibly love this band if i don’t like ONE (1) member of it. like a year…i don’t usually hold hyperfixations that long. i want my love for this band to last forever but i’ve spent this entire year getting dogged on tiktok by parasocial nikki stans and i thought this would be the one site where that wouldn’t happen. crucify me all you want but you can’t EVER deny my status as a fan. ever.

[thel0llip0p]

A World Without Sonic

a sonadow prime ficlet, you can guess what it's about.

**disclaimer: i'm not a writer and I did not proofread it lol. this was the idea for my next comic but i got lazy to draw it so i wrote it out instead for now.

tags? sonadow , character death/mourning, platonic shadamy, mention of: tails, knuckles, rouge, big, eggman

____________________

Shadow finds himself in the last spot he was in right before the prism shattering, his arms held out and empty where the blue hedgehog once was, feeling disoriented for only a split second.

The cave!

Wasting no time, the black hedgehog dashes away making his way up to his destination. His heart racing wondering if Sonic made it alive and intact. A pit in his stomach grew on his way over, fearing the outcome. Like Schrödinger's cat, unfortunately there was only one way to find out, whether he liked it or not.

He makes his grand appearance at the mouth of the cave, and without thinking calls out

"Sonic!"

"Shadow??"

His heart dropped. At the scene, Eggman and Sonic's friends all staring blankly at him, both parties equally confused. But sonic was nowhere in sight.

This left him no choice.

"Chaos Control!"

and he disappeared just like that, along with the Paradox Prism.

___

Warping to a secluded location unbeknownst to anyone except himself, he sheltered the prism.

I guess this will have to do for now.

Against his will, he supposed he'd have to be the guardian of this thing for now, not unlike a certain echidna and the master emerald but he knew he couldn't entrust the prism with anyone else other than himself.

Now that the prism was taken care of for now, he could finally think about the burden on his mind.

Sonic...

Did he really not make it ?

He refused to believe that the bundle of blue joy was no longer in existence. He couldn't leave things at that, this warranted further investigation.

He needed answers now.

And he first person that came to mind was...

____

"I really... don't know who you are talking about?" Tails pondered with a hand to his chin. "Are you sure you're feeling okay, Shadow?"

"The name Sonic doesn't ring a bell? Really? Your blue hedgehog best friend? Try to remember."

"I feel like, it's supposed to be familiar but I don't really know. Nothing comes to mind. Sor-"

"Never mind, then."

Shadow walked away.

"Umm.. okay?" Tails shrugged him off, thought left a little dumbfounded.

On to the next one..

_____

"Hey redhead, where's your blue friend Sonic?"

"What did you call me?!" Knuckles didn't take so kindly to the nicknames and much less being interrupted during his midday nap.

"Where's Sonic?"

"Don't know 'im"

He sighed defeatedly and took his leave.

______

Tails didn't know. Knuckles didn't know.

Big and Rouge didn't know either.

Of course Sonic isn't going to be anywhere. He's not here. It's like he never existed. And even knowing this was venture was fruitless, he felt the need to ask everyone anyway, as if he was holding out hope for something.

How stupid. This behaviour wasn't like him.

And there was only one last person left, the only person who could possibly understand even a tiny bit how he felt.

____

"Oh Shadow nice to see you around. You don't normally stroll around so casually, did you need something?" Amy, oh so very cheerful as always.

"Have you seen Sonic?" Shadow was straight to the point.

"Sonic? Ummm.." she gave it some thought. She felt like she was supposed to know who that was and although she didn't, it did make her heart flutter a bit. "Is he your friend?"

"No, he's not my friend, just someone I'm looking for."

"Oh... well I noticed you've been asking and searching around endlessly. He must be someone important to you."

"...Yeah, I guess so." He melancholically looked off into the distance.

The two of them were sitting on a hill with a nice view of the green hill landscape.

"If you don't mind, can you tell me more about Sonic? Who was he? What happened?"

"He... was a hero, your friend.. everyone's friend.." he trailed off.

"..And I couldn't save him."

Tears began to well as he began to recall his last memories of their adventure together. A surge of pain growing in his chest and his suppressed feelings beginning to surface.

Amy turned to Shadow, concern on her face. He was normally never vulnerable with anyone but in this moment, for some reason he felt like he could confide in Amy with this. Even if he couldn't delve into detail.

"He sacrificed himself to save the universe, and now he doesn't exist and no one remembers him... except me." He did his best to hold back his emotions.

She listened to him with sympathy in her eyes.

"A world without Sonic, is not the same world at all. I can't imagine a world without him, and here I am. Here's not here anymore." Brushing away the tears, he turned away to hide his face from her.

Amy wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug.

"It's okay Shadow. I'm sure it's not your fault.

Knowing you, you probably did everything you could to try to save him. And surely Sonic is thankful for your effort."

He wanted to believe her but his emotions only welled further.

"It wasn't enough... I wasn't enough, and now he's gone. Forever."

She stroked his back, trying to comfort best as she could.

"As long as you remember him in your heart, he exists and lives on in your heart."

At this point , Shadow was basically crying into her shoulders, and although it was extremely embarrassing he couldn't help himself. The tears flowed like rivers, mourning the loss of the only hedgehog he saw as his equal, rival, possibly friend?

How could he live on like this ? First Maria, now Sonic.

His feelings of remorse, hopelessness and sorrow overwhelming him.

When would it end?

Amy's embrace brought him comfort, but oh how he wished he was in Sonic's instead.

He felt his sense of self drifting away until everything became black.

"Shadow?"

"Shadow ?"

Amy's voice tried to reach him but her voice sounding increasingly faint.

____

"Shadow ?"

A familiar voice...

"Hey you okay?"

"Nngh"

Slowly opening his eyes, he saw emerald green eyes looking down at him and a blur of blue and sunshine.

"S-sonic?" A sudden wave of relief came over him.

He sat up. "You're okay?"

"Of course I am?

He realized he had been sleeping on Sonic's lap? And oh, there was remnants of tears on his face?

"What was that about? Bad dream got ya?" Sonic teased as he layed back against a palm tree, hands behind his head.

Shadow sighed. "Guess you could say that," rubbing the back of his neck.

"I dreamt... you didn't make it back to Green Hill and everyone had forgotten about you. It's like you never existed."

"Oh you missed me so much you started crying in your sleep? Aww-"

Shadow grabbed his face with his hand, squishing his cheeks "Shut it, you." And kissed him.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

And the two resumed their peaceful afternoon by the beachside.

[fairchilds-glasses]

Elizabeth Fairchild

Finally! Info post 2 electric boogaloo and somehow this one is even longer than the first, maybe it’s because I like the character more…although with that being said this one does get a bit sad so be ready for that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elizabeth was born into a small modest family in Salerno Italy who moved to the US when she was quite young in hopes of her having better opportunities there, eventually settling in DC where she grew up. Elizabeth got good grades in school and was practically top of her class in most subjects, when she was 17 see decided to get a part time job as a waitress in a little diner a few blocks away from her house.

After working at the diner for a few months a group of hunters came in during her shift, celebrating after one of them had won the annual hunting competition. She didn’t pay them much attention until one of them came over to her and began flirting, she thought he seemed cute and charming so she agreed to go on a date with him. Elizabeth and Lou end up going on a few dates before Elizabeth finds out that she’s pregnant, her family really didn’t approve and gave her an ultimatum: get rid of it or leave, so after a heated argument her parents kicked her out and she ended up living in her car until Lou suggested that they run away and start a whole new life together and since she literally had no where else to go she agreed.

Elizabeth’s pregnancy was difficult and full of complications, she had been told on multiple occasions that the baby didn’t have a good chance of actually surviving but of course for the first time of many to come Rachel defied the odds and was fine. Elizabeth took to motherhood quite quickly and she absolutely adored it. Lou’s hunting was making them a decent amount of money but Elizabeth decided to get a child care degree and ended up getting a job as a teacher assistant in the local elementary school, and of course it’s the one Rachel ends up going to. As Rachel got older Elizabeth and Lou were getting into more arguments, mostly about Lou insisting on taking Rachel hunting with him despite the fact that it scared her, the arguments would get increasingly more violent as time went on.

Not long after Rachel’s 4th birthday Elizabeth was diagnosed with Chronic Withering Disease (completely fictional, basically just what would happen if humans could get Chronic Wasting Disease, look it up at your own risk, it’s fucked) a genetic and always fatal disease that her parents were both unfortunately carriers of. After she was diagnosed Elizabeth was quick to take Rachel to get blood tests to make sure she didn’t have it as well which she luckily didn’t. Elizabeth’s health deteriorated rapidly as well as her memory, just a few months after being diagnosed she had to be moved to the hospital since she was too frail to be at home. Lou visited the hospital every day after that, bringing Elizabeth literally anything she needed, during his visits they had grown closer than they’d ever been. Elizabeth would constantly ask about Rachel and constantly request pictures and updates since the child wasn’t able to visit it her since there was a possibility she may accidentally hurt her in her frail state which she understood. Elizabeth’s memory and overall health continued to decline until 18 months after being diagnosed when she passed away, leaving Rachel in the soul care of her father.

…………………….

IM SORRY, the angst parasites in my brain made me do it! Obviously I’m gonna end up writing more about Lou and Elizabeth in future and I’ll also drop some “fun” (using the word really lightly here) facts every now and then as well.

As always thanks for putting up with my rambling

[pumpk-n]

Weather, Dove, Hot Cocoa

🐺👋🏻

all of these are going to make me cry typing actually but hi honey 🤭🥰

what do you love the most about~

i think my answer rn is my friends. it’s so easy to believe in true love and soulmates with these freaks around. they have held me together through so much in the past few years. i used to be a very abrasive and rude person when i was young because i was terrified of getting hurt again. and you know what’s wild? i’ve experienced so much hurt and i’ve been able to stay tender and safe because of them. i wouldn’t believe better things were possible if it weren’t for them. i’m so so so lucky and i miss having them all close to me with so much time to waste together.

how do you express love~

oh in a very. loud way. one of the main parts of myself that i am constantly tending to is my capacity to care for others and what that care looks like. i’m not the biggest fan of the idea of the love languages just as a personal thing because especially when it comes to my expression of love, it’s all of them, all the time. i’ll bring you dinner when you don’t have time in your schedule to do it yourself, i’ll drive you wherever you need to go, i’ll plan trips for us, i’ll constantly be making gifts for someone, i’ll learn new hobbies, i’ll try to better myself so that i can continue to care for them better, i’ll write letters and poems and listen to every thought that needs to be shared, if you need to scream i’ll take you speeding down the freeway with all the windows down in the middle of the night and do it with you. when i love someone or something, i want to see it flourish, and i want to do my part in helping that process along. i think that’s kinda the point of connection and relationships at their core.

three things you love about yourself~

i literally don’t have an answer for this especially at this point in my life LMDAO instead what i will opt to do is say things that my friends have said about me that made me stop and appreciate myself and think of myself a little differently

1. my independence. unfortunately for my opps, there’s nothing i can’t do, especially when im about to focus on myself. i am really good at pushing through via spite. like i’ve perfected it. but not the point. you would be astounded at some of the shit i’ve lived through, and dealt with and survived completely alone, especially when i was younger. again, this used to be a really aggressive part of my personality but because of my friends i am learning to ✨ accept help and support ✨ anyways if you even need a mean lesbian to do something for you, let me know.

2. my thots my big juicy brain. especially in the past quarter, i’ve had so many wonderful connections and potential opportunities that i used to dream about when i was a kid and like. i get to pursue these amazing things because of all the work i put in to get here. i study like fucking crazy i read too much of everything all of the time and im constantly picking up new hobbies or things and im really hard on myself because now that i have long covid and my medication makes it hard to me to stay awake it’s incredibly difficult for me to do the academic work at the pace i used to. my memory is shit and i’ve got constant brain fog and despite all of that i’m still making progress and improving and becoming a better writer and it just. i cherish this knowledge while i have it

3. i’ll say my writing. i feel like a lot of the work that has not seen the light of day has really helped me find my voice and what i’m doing? and for the first time in a long time im proud of the things im writing and want to share them with people (even if im nervous)

[flicker-confessions]

FLICKER CONFESSION #0062

Submitted by @cringelordofchaos (me):

imagine mason and aadiv.. liek imagine aadiv gets transported into a flicker game .... and liek. its said that aadiv is missing. and we all know mason wont give up on finding aadiv and everything. he takes every chance he gets to find him or to find out more abt him. he even talks to ppl whocan see literal ghosts and can sense the future if aadiv is ok. mason himself actually has some dreams where he sees aadiv in some weird place but he doesnt know what it means. anyway imagine he at one point he starts losing hope, optimism. he just thinks hes never going to see aadiv again. but someone helps him regain hope. and he gets hopeful again. and he gets so sure that hes going to find aadiv. but then like if its a fanfic imagine the scene immediately turns to aadiv in the middle of a flicker game getting murdered that night. or getting voted out idk. and like you see mason. hes absolutely sure and hiopeful that hes going to find aadv now. but the readers, the audience knows that aint possible anymore. that aadiv is dead. and we just have to see mason spiral into insanity and toxic positivity. for now hes blissfuly unawar e but as more time passess he will NEVER. find. out what actually happened to aadiv. the horrors. hell just die not knowing anything and wishing he couldve saved him or helped himor feeling like he wasted his life or that it was incomplete or unfulfilled or that he failed and hell just feel so guilty ahahha anyway separate confession but flicker would totally work as a really interesting novel. fight me on this idc

Blog runners' note: "woah a confession post !? are you immediately returning to confession posts now!?'" you might ask. unfortunately no (or at least not for now). this was just iin my drrafts and i forgot abt it so im posting it now. also i am so insane abt maadiv (not as much anymore but thye r literally the reason i almost failedhistory class. couldnt focus on studying bc i was thinking of them )

confession type / blog - fandom - general

[hahaalaine]

this one client im doing consult for is literally looking for every possible way to charge a different price for every day of the week AND do the math for when the prices crossover (i.e. Monday's price x Wednesday's price on a 2 day stay). There is no sustainable, easy way to do that and I've demonstrated it a few times in demos but they're still asking me to waste my time. Like they do not care about the downturn their business will take and they keep ignoring the technical aspect. I'm at the point of telling them to get the fuck off this software, stop wasting our time, and to spend their time & money in creating their own proprietary software.

Unfortunately I can't say shit like that until I have physically built out every possible set up just to be sure. This next iteration will require the customer to do massive amounts of clicks because they have to add a 3 night stay to their cart 3 separate times in order to attempt to calculate the price.

[sieglinde-freud]

For the ask game: Ophelia and Camillia

HELL YEAHH hi stedy :) starting with ophelia

How I feel about this character

shes so cute. obviously super similar to her dad and while i feel like she doesnt do the chuuni thing quite as well, i think its cute that its mostly in an attempt to emulate her father, the bestest guy in the world to her, which differentiates it from odin’s mannerisms that were formed as a coping mechanism. shes just very happy and i love that for her :)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

i remember really liking her with hisame at one point? i think i still do but i cannot tell you what their support is about. i forgot entirely. honestly, i need to brush up on the fates second gen because theyre a huge blank spot in my mind 😭 but like, conceptually, i also like her with shiro, caeldori, nina, forrest, and mitama. i just have to actually read those…

My non-romantic OTP for this character

i like her little trio with forrest and nina :) theyre so cute in heirs of fate… i wish we could see more of the second gen dynamic like that. in my head i also like her friendship with soleil, but… in terms of whats given to me in the game… its just… eugh.

My unpopular opinion about this character

i dont think she’s a better unit than odin in conquest. i guess it can depend on who her mom is, but odin is generally going to have much more survivability due to his defense and hp + joining you pretty early, making his role as a nostank reliable and costs zero effort. ophelia takes time, and ideally you want to hold off on getting her for skills/offspring seals. any early game build can be done with nyx or elise, to less potency maybe, but with way less effort especially now that the best way of support grinding (mycastle easy seize) is no longer possible. of course, you can use dlc maps but if you take dlc into account conquest is a whole different game.

One thing I wish had happened

how about something i wish didnt happen? her support with soleil is genuinely one of these most uncomfortable things i have ever read in fire emblem which is saying a lot! because the writing in these games suck! for the most part it is soleil’s problem and not ophelia’s, so maybe i shouldn’t be complaining about it here, but i dunno man. its just… its so bad. i cant even read it in game like it gets a physical reaction out of me and not a positive one.

ok camilla now :)

How I feel about this character

i love her lots :) my savior on conquest and she had the best hair in the game. her supports are… pretty unfortunate most of the time but i think the ones that matter are really good and she’s a really sympathetic character when you get over intelligent systems not trusting in her enough to be popular and slapping the gooner bait “big sister” crap on her

All the people I ship romantically with this character

i really dont have a major preference for her? in game, i usually prefer pairings that give her a kid because 1) woag god stats and 2) her hair color is sooo good i cannot waste it. but in terms of just shipping, shes good with like. everyone. some supports are bad but i can get over most of them if i like the ship as a concept. but off the top of my head i like her with selena, beruka, takumi, saizo, peri, laslow, odin, niles, hinoka, charlotte, arthur, reina, probably more but. yeah shes versatile to me. godmilla

My non-romantic OTP for this character

leo!! all the nohr siblings really but i think camilla and leo specifically are just. they give me lots of brain worms. elise obviously wasnt born yet to exeprience the concubine wars, and as the heir and, iirc, the only legitimate son garon had, xander didn’t really get involved as much either. im sure it affected him, but he wasn’t there actually taking part in it. leo and camilla shoulder a lot for their siblings and i think its very interesting that despite it all, theyre probably the only people that can ever really understand what the other has been through. and i enjoy their supports too, with leo wanting camilla’s attention but not being willing to voice it, and camilla understanding that her smothering would probably just piss him off so she tries to avoid it, until they ultimately find a healthy medium and can start to kind of… work on their relationship with eachother after everything. i love them lots :)

My unpopular opinion about this character

im not sure i have one? i feel like opinions on camilla are so all over the place so its kind of hard to have one thats “unpopular.” but i’ll say that i prefer her in malig knight rather than wyvern lord which is probably the worse play in most scenarios but… oohh hot lady on undead dragon… im very simple.

One thing I wish had happened

more elaboration on her past and her mother and some more story relavance for her. she just kinda… fades into the back after leo and xander come which happens with the other sisters too, but still……

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

When I was binding my plant book I spent about an hour digging around online to figure out which stitch I would use and researching the different binding methods to figure out what would work best.

I also wanted a good written tutorial for how to do the stitch i ultimately chose (the coptic stitch) because I do not like video tutorials. Unfortunately none of the written tutorials had exactly what I needed. Specifically none of them told you what to do if you ran out of thread before finishing the binding. Their advice was "make sure to cut enough thread from the beginning" which was not going to work for me. While there is a way to measure out how much thread you need, I would likely still need to know how to add more thread. My plant book is quite a bit thicker than the books being made in the tutorials. And I dont know if you've ever tried to hand sew something by hand and thought "ehhh ill just cut off a bunch and hope its enough to do this in one go," but it NEVER works out that way.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. THAT IS THE DEVIL SPEAKING.

All that will happen is you end up with a giant tangled mess of thread that you can never untangle. And im pretty good at untangling threads but its a pain in the ass and just not something I would like to waste my time on. Not to mention the wasted thread. So I ended up having to watch part of a video tutorial to figure out what I was supposed to do when the thread inevitably ran out. And I told myself that the next time I did this, I would make my own written tutorial with pictures showing what to do and also showing how I reinforce the spine because I go a bit further than any of the tutorials I found.

(Tutorial under the cut)

Most people seem to choose the coptic stitch because they like how it looks and they keep the stitching exposed. While I agree that it looks good, I dont personally like the exposed stitching. I like people to look at my books and be surprised when I tell them I bound them myself. And making a book that looks professionally done accomplishes that. Also I prefer it over the exposed stitching, ALSO I don't use proper bookbinding thread cuz I do this on a budget with stuff I can get at walmart or already have lying around the house and covering the stitching helps reinforce it. I ultimately decided on the coptic stitch partly because it allows the book to lie flat when open, but also because every article I read on different stitches to use said that it was the most complicated one and I looked at that and was like "pffffttt cant be that hard." And honestly I think I was right. Its pretty straightforward.

So what youre gonna need is some paper. Personally, I like to take those sketchbooks that are bound with tape or glue and pull all the pages out. This way you also get a front and back cover.

Again, every tutorial was telling me to fold the pages with a bone fold, which is nice if you have one, I guess, but I do not, so I used the clip on the side of my mechanical pencil to fold the pages in half. If youre using regular sketch paper then you wanna make some signatures which is a group of 4 to 5 sheets of paper, folded in half, and placed inside each other. But for something thicker like watercolor paper, I just sew each individual sheet on separately.

Next, you're gonna wanna take the hard piece of cardboard at the back of the taped together sketchbook and cut that shit in half. I use an exacto knife but ive also used scissors for this in the past. I do not recommend using scissors. Its possible to do but not worth the hand cramps. And then BOOM you have the covers of your sketchbook.

Another thing most people tell you to use is an awl to punch the holes in the paper. Again, I do not have an awl. Nor do I have the money to buy one. At first, I just punched the holes in with a thumbtack but thumbtacks are tiny and after awhile your fingers start to hurt and you may start to lose your grip on it and its just generally a bad time. But, ya bois got a lot of sewing needles (I kept losing them for awhile there and would give up and buy new ones only to then find the pack I lost. So I have like 3 packs of sewing needles.

Thats not counting the ones my mom has also bought because she's done the same thing) and out of frustration from using the thumbtack I decided to try sticking a sewing needle into one of my mechanical pencils and seeing if it would fit and not just immediately push back in when I tried to use it. And what do you fuckin know?

It worked extremely well and I wish id thought of it sooner. I cut the time spent poking holes into the signatures in half and it doesnt hurt my fingers at all.

Youre also going to need thread, of course. I use embroidery thread cuz thats what I already had. Normally you should go for a thicker thread. Preferably a waxed thread. And most people would recommend using a curved sewing needle. This is the one thing im considering getting for myself at some point. You CAN do it with a straight needle but a curved one would definitely make some aspects of this significantly easier.

Now to start off, you wanna take your string and put it in the needle and fold it in half and tie the ends together and then

You wanna thread the needle through the first signature and then

Pull it up through the bottom of the first hole in the cover and loop it around twice and pull it tight

Then push the needle back into the first hole in the paper

And put it through the next hole in the signature

Then repeat that process til you get to the end of the holes. When you get to the last one start like you did with all the others but after wrapping the thread around the cardboard twice you get the next signature

And push it in through the first hole and back out the second (tbc)

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

what qpr ships do u ship that most see as allo & why do you ship em in a qpr/pr way? like what makes them interesting for you?

basically.....every ship to be honest?

tho it is especially bad if you are particularly fond of female characters specifically (✨ misogyny✨)

there are three main reasons why I tend to prefer qprs:

1. I hc a ton of characters as aromantic and while it is theoretically possible to be an aro in a romantic relationship (if you're a happily dating aro-spec more power to you) I personally could never. and thus my version of the characters that live in my soul and love gnawing on my remaining braincells wouldn't, either.

2. fandom and spite. I'm just so tired of all the stupid "there is no platonic explanation" (yes there is, it is called loving your friends) or "a platonic friend wouldn't do that" (yes they would, it is called loving your friends) or (picture of two people hanging out) OH MY GOD CHECK OUT THEIR ROMANTIC DATE FULL OF ROMANCE (<- cannot stress enough how these are just two ppl enjoying each other's company. do allos just hate their friends)

the most annoying part of that is the way it devaluates every friendship that isn't somehow (forcibly sometimes) linked to romance (they only sacrifice themselves for each other because of their *romantic* feelings specifically, everything they do with and/or for each other is basically just buildup for their REAL important relationship - as if, if they never started dating, it would all be "a waste" or "for nothing")

3. we've all seen it. two perfectly fine complex layered interesting characters become a couple and along with their new relationship status they also receive a new personality trait: being a couple. unfortunately for them, that is now also their only personality trait.

but I think that with qprs that is much more difficult to do? when you speak of romance everyone has a pretty clear picture in mind for what that means; qprs however are by definition undefinable. meaning that in order to make a qpr work you are more or less forced to have a little character study (even post relationship): how do they perceive the qpr? how is it different from other friendships and/or past romances? or even: how do they deal with being in a relationship outside of the widely accepted romance/platonic binary? (and that's just off the top of my head)

(though I think that another big thing for me is that for the longest time I thought that "being in love" and "having a crush" were synonyms. my nine yo brain thought that after confessing (regardless of the outcome) these feelings just started fading after a while since theyd outgrown their usefulness. so even if the feelings were reciprocated you just stayed together out of convenience after a while - until you "fell in love" with another person. I know by now that that's ideally not the case but I think that I've thought of it that way for long enough for it to be baked into my worldview lmao)

ft rant below the cut

its probably bc I'm thinking bout her a lot but it's pretty bad with Lucy Heartfilia. I feel like the devaluation and dismissal of Natsu's and Lucy's friendship is so bad (especially considering they are at the core of the show) ,,,,,, I honestly believe that if they were to start dating it would actually take away from their dynamiC AND! UNDERMINE!! THE!!! ENTIRE!!!! MESSAGE!!!!! OF!!! THE!!!! SHOWWWWW (THIS IS LITERALLY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP MANGA GUYS THEY ARE ALREADY SOULMATES STOP ACTING LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP IS JUST A STEPPING STONE IM GONNA START BITING FOR REAL)

anyways. thanks for coming to my ted talk<3

[ghostfest]

Hi. I’m really sorry to put this on you. I don’t know what exactly I’m doing wrong. Everyone keeps telling me to affirm and persist but it’s been MONTHS. I have no idea what in the hell im doing wrong cause I read stories here and people get their desire or go into the void in few days. It’s incredibly depressing.

I’ve also tried hypnosis videos, subliminals and more like that one anon has said on your blog. I just feel so sick to my stomach right now cause it feels like nothing is working. My home life is so bad and I unfortunately don’t have the means to leave. My birthday is coming up and unfortunately I just feel like I want to unalive myself :(

I feel like such a loser cause I paid for a fake blogger here to enter the void for me. I was so desperate at the time that I got scammed (I got the money back though). I have nothing going on for me. Nothing to be proud of..

I keep reading success stories and keep trying new things like delta and theta waves but I really don’t feel myself shifting to the void. at this point, I’m beyond desperate. I literally wasted my life and I reached a breaking point. I keep internally panicking and crying now

Anon I just want to say you're not a loser. The real loser is the person who went ahead and manipulated people who trusted them and took their money. You're not a loser, all you are is someone who just needs help. I know what it's like to feel like nothing's working, and I know how hard it is to not be desperate when everything in the outer world feels hard or you're on a time crunch. First, know it's possible to change everything. You can live your dream life. Remind yourself of this. Even if it's hard now it's possible to change it all no matter what. Next, please try to focus on what you like to enter the void, not someone else's likes. If you've tried several methods, do you have a favorite? Do you have anything that relaxes you that you know about? See if it helps you in enterring. Anon I believe in you. I know it's hard, but I know you can do it.

[strawberryspeachy]

Its really difficult being a romantic that just wants someone to kiss and cuddle with and live regular life with

And being a straight woman who enjoys sex with cis men

But with high standards

I hate hair anywhere but on the top of the head and eyebrows. On me as well. I shave everywhere. I want a man who does the same

I don’t sweat easily and i dont stink. When i do i take care of that fast. I want a man like that too. I get so grossed out by men sweating profusely

I also get creeped out by short dude. Feels bad but it makes me genuinely feel like a child is grabbing me and makes me wanna throw up.

I hate kissing guys with soft squishy lips. Immediately makes me hate kissing which is something i fucking love

I hate when guys drool. Back to the body fluids and me being a germaphobe. Im gross out and turned off

On that note. Unfortunately i have slept with a lot of guys. And i get grossed out by the one to precum a lot. Why are you so wet. And usually it smells really bad when they are like that. The best guys ive been with don’t have that happen so… idk makes me not want to touch them or for them to touch me. Makes me want to immediately shower and run home

And this guy i met. Who i immediately fell head over heals for - was so perfect in bed. Not only that

He wanted everything i want…. I didnt like that he seems to like a lot of people and is friendly. But other than that he seemed perfect

Obviously he wasnt because actually he lied to me and cheated on his ex constantly and now i feel like fucking shit

But i let him sleep with me without a condom because while he was sitting there telling me he hates me and im a terrible and shit person i realized im literally never going to find someone and i wanted to know what it was like

Cause i realized something ive been pushing down in hopes that i wont be alone forever. And also why ive liked dating in japan over America

I hate sports. I hate having to listen to dudes obsess over sports. I dont want that on my tv. I dont want to hear about ANYTHING having to deal with your stupid fucking team. Its so common in the west like something you have to tolerate to date someone. There a lot of Japanese guys that aren’t like that. I love it because i hate sports

I like men who take care of themselves and dress up

I hate the way to young generation speaks in the west. Its annoyed me since i was in high school. Why do you try to sound and stupid and aloof as possible. Why do you all use the same dumb words over and over like you never evolved past being a 12 year old

So go for the nerds of course. UGH NO - same shit

I HATE D&D. I dont want to be with someone who wastes time playing or planning or talking about it. The conversations you have to overhear about that shit. Im bored and disturbed out of my fucking mind.

Playing videos games day and night. I say this as someone whose best friends play video games all the time and who also enjoys them. I dont hate video games. But i hate men whos entire lives revolve around video games.

Every other country doesn’t shame people for drinking often and going out. Why do we shame that in american society?! Everything i mentioned above is considered normal and healthy but going out and meeting new people and drinking and dancing is only for kids and means your a problem. Traveling a lot means your pretentious

Those are the things i like. I want someone who likes them too. I want to enjoy them together.

I spent my whole life convincing myself that ill have to date one of those people above and id be their wild childish gf THEY have to tolerate taking to a bar once in a while or being embarrassed when i ask them to dance with me

I dont want that. I hate that.

I just wish this guy i met who was also beautiful and my type in every way would just get over his need for validation of random stupid girls

Im prettier than them anyway

Why cant i have my happily ever after

I tried to complain to my friend about this and she basically just told me the gross nerd guys are fine. She doesnt even have the drive to want a man. You don’t fucking get it. No one gets it. Just like the women who think dating ugly men is fine. Thats why youre miserable and mad all the time despite “having what you want”. Why would i want to roll over and see a monster next to me. And have to deal with that touching me. My vibrator is better

I hate this world where men get to chase after women they find beautiful and perfect but to be a girl and do that is asking for too much. Men can shit talk whatever archetype of girl doesn’t match society’s standard but be a girl and say you dont like short men and god for fucking bid

:( I’m just heartbroken. I didn’t chase this guy and get rejected. He approached me. He asked me out. He took me out and promised me so much. He pushed when i pulled away based on seeing signs he was a fuckboy and he swore he liked me. My heart hurts.