#unfortunately Jared Leto

[angeltannis]

was not expecting much (or anything) out of Haunted Mansion (2023) besides a few actors I like being in it. but aside from the "Marvel humor" that's plaguing pretty much every Disney release these days, it was actually surprisingly heartfelt, sweet and emotional. and I did not expect it to deal with, uh...suicidal ideation? in both an adult And a child character? that was unexpectedly mature for a Disney ghost movie. actually got me a little bit teared up in places (partially also because Lakeith Stanfield is a phenomenal actor)

[nokaveman]

looking at Moebius's concept art for Tron always makes me want to explode like rghghghgh how could one man have had this much juice

[boyswanna-be-her]

I guess BFR and i, like, love each other or whatever 🙄

[x-crowmancer-x]

then they Morbed all over each other. the end.

[direwombat]

the direwombat's seed sibling mini-playlist (or, five songs that remind me of each of the Seeds aside from the OST) as tagged by @passinoutpieces

and tagging anyone who wants to share songs that remind them of the seeds!

joseph

Bethel Woods - Midlake

United States of A Miracle - Alpine Universe

Drink The Water - Justin Cross

Brother - Sam Tinnesz

Walk on Water (Acoustic) - 30 Seconds to Mars

john

YES - Reuben and the Dark

Unsteady - X Ambassadors

St. John - We Are The Fallen

The Propagandist - -ness

Conquistador - 30 Seconds to Mars

faith

Poison - Woodes

River - Oh, Be Clever

Angels - Within Temptation

Silent Shouts - Adna

Drifting on a Summer Night - The Deep Dark Woods

jacob

God's Fault - Matthew Mayfield

Survivor Guilt - Rise Against

War on a Desperate Man - Eli Young Band

All Eyes On You - Smash Into Pieces

The Hunter - Adam Jensen

[itspanimi]

twink death

[kankri]

of course only lady gaga got the memo

[hereshorror]

We’re revisiting ‘90s slashers already! We love to see (hear?) it. This episode is full of firsts! Not only is it Tay’s first time seeing Urban Legend (1998), but it’s Moth’s as well! We’ve never covered a film Moth hasn’t seen before, so tune in to find out if it went horribly, horribly wrong, or very right. This is also the first film we’re covering from a Listener’s suggestion, so THANK YOU SO MUCH to Nicole for suggesting Urban Legend (1998)! We hope we did your favorite horror movie justice.

[climbdraws]

my mom being a jared leto fan is unfortunate but it means I get to listen to wc amv music while cooking

[jokerfic]

Not you popping out of nowhere a year later with a new fic in a fandom I'm going to have to learn about so that I can read it

the way I'm literally so sorry it's not Dark Knight Joker (I've been putting in work on that fic too this year, I promise! it's sitting at 70 pages and if this frenzy of productivity lasts I hope to turn it towards that next, Ledger Joker is somehow always easier for me to write in the winter) but the heart wants what it wants when it wants it, and Jerome Valeska, who is a bigger flirt and a better boyfriend to an OC (somehow, despite the… atrocities) than TDK Joker is what this heart wants right now.

but since I've got you can I give you (and anyone else out of the know) my elevator pitch on Gotham FX right quick? There'll be some spoilers but only the kind of spoilers I think you need to hear to decide whether or not you want to watch this show, I prommy. THANKS

ok SO do you ever find yourself wondering when comic book properties got so BORING? do you ask yourself where all the color went? do you find yourself nodding along when your buddy complains that if comic book show writing is gonna be so shitty, it might as well also be fun? look no further than seasons 2-5 of Gotham I promise you will not regret watching seasons 2-5 of Gotham

(season 1 was when they were committed to trying to run it like a straight prequel where Batman and his entire Rogues gallery wouldn't exist for another 20 years, and they also thought they were making a gritty detective show about the GCPD, although nobody was allowed to say fuck and everyone both outside of canon and in it knew that the best place to "detect" criminals in Gotham was inside the GCPD itself, but fortunately they gave that up after one season and switched over to just doing a kidfic version of Batman with a slightly-younger-but-still-weirdly-adult-given-that-they're-beefing-with-a-12-year-old Rogues Gallery)

Gotham, once it hits its stride in season 2, thinks it's a comic book movie from the 90s. Gotham thinks it's a comic book run from the 90s, period. I think almost every major character dies and comes back to life at least once. It's in the same nebulous simultaneously modern and steampunky-old-fashioned time period as A Series of Unfortunate Events and they lean harder into the design with every season that passes. Nobody has any common sense and NOBODY talks like a person. Gotham features the wettest, cuntiest version of Oswald Cobblepot I've ever seen and at one point he gets fake haunted (? it's been a while, I'm not clear on that point anymore).

At some point they cast Cameron Monaghan as a character they named Jerome Valeska and they're like "Okay, Cam. You are playing a PROTO-JOKER. The real actual Joker isn't around yet and besides we don't have the rights to him, so be subtle, right? Play it cool. Just tasteful hints." And Cam went "10-4, heard you loud and clear, dw about a thing" and then proceded to blast everyone's nips off when he did what every actor to play the Joker after Heath Ledger has been desperate to do and THEN some-- not only did he play the spiritual successor to Ledger's Joker, but he played the spiritual successor to Nicholson's Joker, he played the spiritual successor to Hamill's Joker, he did his own thing, the shifting nature of the role meant he was able to be like 6 different Jokers at once and every single one of them fucks. Like, I legitimately 100% believe his performance on this not-quite-CW-Batman TV show made a big enough splash that it played a part in the DC execs looking at Jared Leto's Machine Gun Kelly-meets-Spirit Halloween Mallrat Joker cosplay and going "…I think I've had enough of this guy," thank God.

(They do introduce Jerome in Season 1, though, so you might have to watch the first season after all. sorry.)

Obviously Jerome is TO ME the heir to the Joker throne with no contest at all, not even a little bit, and besides him, the show is a blast and feels like what Batman felt like to me as a little kid-- like the 90s movies, like the animated series. Is it GOOD? I'm obviously too emotionally compromised to give you a solid answer. I suspect not, but if you're like me (and if you like my writing, then I think you probably are), you don't need good as much as fun and interesting, and Gotham is definitely that. It's streaming on Max, but if for SOME incomprehensible reason you don't want to watch one literal hundred 40-minute episodes of Riverdale-but-make-it-Batman, I am 100% amenable to uploading the 13 episodes that feature Jerome onto my google drive and posting the links here for anyone who wants them lmao. (If it's not obvious, it's the sort of show where you don't really have to watch everything to figure out what's going on-- it's a soap opera, you'll get the gist.)

ok that wasn't so much an elevator pitch as it was a stuck-on-the-bus-with-a-guy-who-won't-stop-trying-to-get-you-to-join-his-cult pitch but give it some thought anyway, ok? ok. love you bye

[inkedmyths]

10/10 for being a well crafted fursuit. 10/10 for having the balls to go to the fucking Met Gala in a fursuit. 0/10 he didn't say it's Morbin Time. Also if he was a real brave man he should take it to a furcon.

Actually no going to make this an actual post.

I know jack shit about fashion! Send me looks from this year's Met Gala and I'll rate them based on probably convoluted means

[cator99]

And Yup she has the buzz cut it's all the same 100% nothing changes except instead of Brad Pitt its Britney. I think I'd like Lena Dunham to play the main character guy. Ellen degeneres as the pretty boy Jared Leto character. They would all still be Men in the narrative obviously and have the same names all that and their femaleness is never at all adressed or acknowledged. And while it would be "interesting" or "poignant" (kill your selfs) for this to be an all female thing unfortunately my vision only makes sense if timothee chalamet is to play marla singer. And yeah so basically someone should hire me to fuck up the entertainment industry real bad

[kmp78]

WTF?! https://www.theinsneider.com/p/jared-leto-skeletor-masters-of-the-universe-movie-spiderman-beyond-spiderverse-follow-up

Can you imagine that?? 🤣

Looking at what a shitshow his filmography is these days...

Yes I actually can imagine!

Unfortunately. 🙄

[ben-the-hyena]

So I watched the Haunted Mansion trailer and

Just like I feared. The ghosts are evil and murderous instead of just scaring for fun and forever resting in peace with parties every night and must be cast away and fought as if they were there for a curse because it is the EASY way too attract a mainstream kind of audience instead of counting on the fans, their (THEIR) mansion must be freed for dumb humans to live there because it's ONCE AGAIN an estate plot, the humans we don't give a shit about are the main focus and appear more than the ghosts in the trailer despite how we have oh I don't know 999 potential characters to have as main characters instead, and again Disney wants us to forget Emily ever existed and just wants to impose Constance everywhere and tries to have her be the MAIIN EEEEVUUUL instead of just one ghost whose gimmick is to be the ghost of a wedding-themed black widow

The ONE good thing is how Hattie looks. I had my fears, but he looks cool and faithful to his ride self. I hope Jared Leto won't ruin the role, but since the ghosts are apparently the villains he will unfortunately probably be too

God fucking dammit Disney why don't you know your own ride

WHY DID YOU LET US DOWN GUILLERMO DEL TORO

[gamerdog1]

Morbius Review

Yeah, I know I'm late to the party with this one, but better late than never, eh?

I think everyone knows, or has at least heard of the infamous Morbius movie. A film trying so hard to launch a universe of Spider-Man baddies without Spider-Man, that got launched into the spotlight through sheer force of meme potential. You couldn't take to steps anywhere on social media without hearing about it.

Fast forward a few years, and while picking out bean sprouts from pad thai I could've sworn I asked for without, I decided to give this living legend a go. And what I found, unfortunately, does not live up to the hype.

The film follows a doctor with rare blood disease, who spends his entire career experimenting to find a way to cure himself. When he discovers that splicing bat DNA into his own blood eases his symptoms, he thinks he's cured, but quickly realizes that he's become a bloodthirsty vampire. With the feds hot on his tail, Morbius tries to find a way to fix himself, save his girlfriend, and avoid the wrath of his rival.

Sadly, my wordy plot summary does this film more justice than it does itself. This film drags on more than a grandmother giving a stern talking-to. So much of this film is bland, stock set-up, and then when Morbius finally becomes a vampire, we quickly go back to human drama like its nothing. Its almost like the film doesn't think we should see him doing cool things for very long, so it forces the little freak to sit down, shut up, and be normal while it keeps spinning its yarn about hospital workers and rare diseases.

its quite an accomplishment, really, to make a story like Morbius' so dull. At times I found myself on my phone, distracted from all the mundane talking scenes. I now understand how my little cousins feel, when they ask me to skip to fight scenes in shows we watch.

Eventually, when the seriousness of this film bubbles over, it becomes accidentally hilarious. Jared Leto saying "stinky little pinky" nearly made me spit out my drink, and watching him and Matt Smith throw each other around like ragdolls had me kicking my feel and giggling. This film should not be funny, and clearly isn't trying to be, yet somehow it is. Maybe if all other crappy Sony movies like these did this, we'd be a better society.

However, I'm not counting out this film entirely. At various times while watching, I exclaimed "that was pretty cool" or "what a nice shot", unsarcastically of course. Within this ball of over-seriousness and accidental humor are some half decent shots, scenes, and effects, which injected some much needed life into the veins of this shambling corpse of this film. The swarms of vampire bats were a stand-out for me, mostly because I can't imagine how long it took to animate it, and I hope the animators got paid good money. The smoke effects during flight and echolocation were pretty cool to look at too, and are a fresh take on visualizing sound.

All in all, though, Morbius isn't what I expected. I came for a so-bad-its-good film about a silly vampire guy who 'morbs', and I ended up with a film that took itself way too seriously to make itself funny all the time. I'm a bit disappointed, but hopefully this doesn't dissuade Sony from making more crappy offshoot movies like these. If they can make them sillier, I'll watch them all.

4/10

[untilthcyrot]

🐶 — any pets? 😍 — celebrity crush(es)? 😊 — any career desires?

MUNDAY ASKS.

🐶 — any pets?

I have a satan cat named Puddie. I say that because, unfortunately, we taught him to be aggressive when he was a kitten. He'd rush our hands and we'd do this playful/gentle wrestle move where we'd flip him over. He loved it and we never hurt him. So now he sees us trying to pet him as an attack lmao. I also have two german shepherd siblings named Jaxon and Rajah. We've had them since they were eight weeks old and they're actually turning five years old this Wednesday ;___; I love them so freaking much it's ridiculous.

😍 — celebrity crush(es)?

Waaayyy too many to list and a lot of the times it depends on what I'm into (like any specific movies where I can obsess over the actor lmao). Matthew Gray Gubler, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Jared Leto, Joe DeRosa, Milo Ventimiglia, and sooo many more <3

😊 — any career desires?

I've always wanted to be a best-selling author. I've always been floating around the idea of getting into computer repair work / IT.