#unfortunate neighbors

[clonerightsagenda]

This week one of my coworkers said to me "you have a really strong sense of morals and want everything to be done the right way which sucks for you personally but is a net benefit for everyone else around you" and I think I should put that on my resume

[botanicalbasilly]

Happy 1 year of Queer Puppets and Murder Cults!!

[katkalis-the-horror-fanartist]

Barbatos do you think I would be allowed to open up a shop? I really wanna open up a uranium shop. Would you support my business?

The uranium is for eating btw

He...has a few concerns-

[powerfultenderness]

hey I reread some neighbor könig because it's so so so good and I finally had an idea!! no worries if it's not your jam or if you have other writing to do or you're not feeling the writing spirit or literally anything else, I'll be just fine!! anyways anyways the idea is that reader comes home late one night wasted and könig takes care of her. and perhaps if you're so inclined she keeps asking him for saucy stuff and I mean he's not a creeper so of course he's not gonna do that stuff while she's drunk!! but he sure does want to. again again I love anything you write and I will drink any scraps of könig/any others up!! may the gods of writer's spirit bless you🙏🙏🙏

Yes! Gentleman König is an hc no one can take from me! This turned out a little softer than I intended, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

(Rated Mature 18+ for some suggestive conversation and drinking)

König’s body jolted, the sound of his phone waking him from the pleasant haze of dreams, and slapped a heavy hand around his nightstand. 

“This better be good,” he growled into the phone, not having even bothered to check who called.  

“Kö” hiccup, “nig?” 

He shot up, already jumping out of bed and rushing around the room to pull on a pair of shorts and a shirt. “What’s wrong? Where are you?”

He had run into you earlier in the night, dressed so prettily and smiling as you told him you were going out with friends. He knew he should have followed you. But he took one look at you in that revealing dress and all common sense left his brain.  

His stomach sank, nervous adrenaline rushing through his veins, as you sobbed out a weak, “help.” 

He quickly stuffed his feet in his shoes as hastily threw his hood on as he spoke to you and rushed out of his flat. “Where are you?” He could get the details later, find out who he had to kill later, after he made sure you were-

He froze, only for half a second, as he found you slumped on the floor outside of your door. He hung up and slid his phone in his pocket as he rushed over to you with a shout of your name.

You looked up at him, eyes big and wet with unshed tears and slurred out his name. “König!” 

The stench of alcohol washed over him like a wave as he knelt down next to you. “What happened? Are you ok?” He asked as he held your shoulders and dragged his eyes down your body to make sure you weren’t hurt. 

“My key stopped working!” You cried out, throwing your hand behind you at the door and hitting it a little too hard. “Ow!” 

He winced and took your hand in his, gently rubbing where you hurt yourself.

“I swear I paid my bills!” You cried again and threw your head back, he was quick enough to cradle your head before it hit the door. 

“Ok, darling. Let’s get you up.” 

You groaned and flopped your head to the side, leaning even more on the door. So he picked you up and set you on your feet, a little blush warming his face when you giggled out a surprised “so strong!” and then leaned against him, nuzzling your face against his chest.

With one hand planted in the middle of your back so you didn’t fall over, he checked the key hanging from the door. Sure enough it was stuck. It gave a bit of resistance but he managed to pull it out and chuckled when he saw it. 

“This is your mailbox key.” 

“Huh?”

He unlocked the door with the proper key and gave you a gentle nudge, trying to get you to walk inside. You groaned again and slumped even further against him.

“König,” you mumbled into his shirt, “can you carry me? Like a princess?” 

“Alright. Come on, princess.” He picked you up with an amused huff, being careful not to hit your feet on the doorjamb as he walked through. 

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and giggled when he picked you up. You attempted to repeat the cognate, and drunkenly failed (far too many ‘s’), but he nodded and closed the door with his foot. 

“That’s,” you mumbled as he gently set you down on the couch. “I’m. I’m your princess, right, König?” 

The alcohol once again had you miserably mispronouncing the word. It still had him chuckling and blushing beneath his mask, though. He nodded as he kneeled down in front of you. “Yes. You are my princess.” 

Gently he took one of your ankles in hand, another smile tugging at his lips as you started to laugh again, he was unsure if you were laughing at his words or because his gentle touch had tickled you. His own ankles protested as he looked at the strappy heels you were wearing. Sexy, certainly, but it’s no wonder you ended up on the floor. He removed your shoes and set them to the side of the couch. “Stay here, you need to drink some water.”

You were half laying down when he came back with a glass of water. He set the glass down and maneuvered you so you were sitting up again. 

“Drink.” He held the glass up to your lips, glad that you didn’t try to find him. “How did this happen?” He asked once you swallowed a few sips.

You shrugged. “Got ditched.” 

He stiffened next to you, a growl stuck in his throat as he bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anything bad about your so called friends. 

You sighed and dropped your head back on the couch. “My friend met a guy. I hope he actually eats pussy, for her.” 

König’s head snapped to you, “what?”

You let out a lethargic laugh and turned your head, still leaning against the back of the couch, and raised your hands in frustration. “They’re so hard to find! Adrian is the only guy I’ve ever met that actually likes doing it!” You whined and slapped your hands over your face. “Why did I break up with him?”

He coughed, tried to sputter out something that honestly neither of you understood, and you mistook it for a laugh.

“It’s not funny! I’m never gonna find a guy to eat me out again.” 

You finally dropped your hands from your face and looked at him. “Oh! Shit! I’m sorry!” It was only now that you realized how uncomfortable your comments had made him. His knee was bouncing up and down nervously and his hands had an iron grip on his shorts. “I didn’t mean to- It’s okay if you don’t like to eat pussy, König!”

“What!” 

“You don’t have to do it! I’m sure you-”

“But I want to!” 

You paused your ramble and narrowed your eyes at him, he was refusing to look at you. “You want to…”

He nodded and still refused to look at you as he answered, “yes.” 

You gasped and straightened up, one of your hands landing on his thigh. “König-”

He cut off your next question by gently slapping a hand over your mouth, his eyes finally meeting yours again. “Don’t ask me that. Please, ask me when you’re sober.” 

You stared into his eyes, wide and dilated, and slowly raised a hand to tap his hand over your mouth. Slowly he dropped his hand and once again looked away from you.

“I was gonna ask,” he stiffened where he sat, “if you could stay and cuddle with me.”

“What?”

This time, you were the one shyly looking away from him. “I like when we cuddle. You make me feel safe.” 

“Oh.” König’s heart thumped in his chest. You were completely wasted, and still everything you said only made him like you even more. He nodded and stood up. You giggled as he gently scooped you up in his arms again and carried you to your room. 

“Yes. I will keep you safe, princess.” 

[Neighbor König Masterlist]

Neighbor König taglist (blurbs): Please let me know if you wish to be added or removed.

@warrior-of-justice  @cumikering @ihateuguys @rand0m--fangirl @keiva1000 @dtftheavengers @takeyour-pants-off @aeeliy @milenko115 @sodonuthideout @onegami @nadiauddincrafts @nadiauddincrafts @grizzersmamma @flooftoof @techs-ass @virginalsacrifice @s0rc3r3r @sleeplessskeleton @introvered-violinist @tizylish @romula96 @peach-habibitch @mitchlow @queenotaku27 @fenixnegras @emmbny @love-dove-noora @lesbianmitsuri @supergirl16 @wybwtjmiadz @ghonigsloverbabe @thatmusedhatter @grassclippers @skystreamchan 

[telesodalite]

I love the idea that, whenever a Cybertronian space-faring vessel lands or docks within a predominantly non-Cybertronian space station or port, that it's required that they either confirm or deny whether their vessel is sentient or not before being permitted to land.

1. For proper accommodation and clarification, along with the chance for communication between the vessel and crews working the station/port.

2. Because there has been... incidents... incidents that have led to the requirement of the above reasons.

[wildsaltair]

the thoughts this picture gives me are so insane that even tumblr has sent me an “are you okay” message

[macinthecaac]

Tonight I've been going through a folder of all of my PHM fanfiction WIPS, and found an "Am I The Asshole" style reddit post but written from the perspective of Ryland Grace. I have barely any memory of writing this

[multiversal-stims]

You don't need money with a face like that, do ya?

Angus Ciprianni stimboard for my personal challenge

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

[transgojocanon]

jumpscare

Francis jump scare BOOM

[simcardiac-arrested]

people should not get tired. i should be allowed to subject my family and neighbors to max volume abba on speakers at almost 8pm on a sunday and they shouldnt get mad

[bloodfueledmachine]

day 28

[zmothrium]

another confession of mine- a little while ago now we got a hot tub and I finally had the day to myself... and the jets... fuck... powerful 😭😵‍💫😵‍💫 the instant i was in it the first time i just thought of it blasting my clit and ffffuuuckkkkkkk..... it was so hard not to scream into the neighborhood.... I hope my hot neighbor was watching ♡

[deepwaterwritingprompts]

Requests are Open!!

Sorry for the delay:) wee two week hiatus over + new requests open! A reminder about requests:

requests should be sent through the ask box! please dont send them through the chat system i WILL forget about it so to avoid this i now don't take any sent through chat as a rule

i prefer requests vague, no more than a few words. BUT if you have a more specific idea you’re just dying to see a prompt for, go ahead and shoot it my way.

ive been in the city and the new apartment for almost two weeks now! not to sound unbearably pretentious, but moving within america has been hugely weird for me. i didn't have to announce my arrival to the police and im scared of the amount of grocery options.

cleaning is done, laundry is almost done, prompts are back, peace in our time. stay weird and send cool requests!

- L

[moe-broey]

You Get: Slightly Dopey Moe 1x

[added to inventory]

[mlady-mimsy]

keeping in touch with the 'ol folks back home

(ps: travel postcards irl are soo underrated!)

[ind1c0lite]

It's funny, a post I read on here in particular stuck out to me, one that was pretty mundane it was just saying to not pick up random furniture from the side of the road cause that's how op got german cockroaches, and for some reason it just stuck in my head and I always wondered what a german cockroach even was

So guess what the fuck we're dealing with currently ☺️