#unfatherliness

[everysongineverykey]

i love how unfatherly crowley and aziraphale both are when it comes down to it. sure aziraphale is more than willing to give the young people in his life help and advice and be their friend but he and crowley spent six years (eleven in the book) practically raising a kid (you just know his parents weren't around that often) and by the end they didn't even like him. crowley even suggested they just fucking kill him. he turned three kids into lizards for annoying him right after he destroyed their house. like it was that or kill them obviously but he did NOT hesitate with the newts. that's so funny to me. they're just inherently disinclined to parenthood. we need more characters like them actually

[queen-kassiopeia-the-5th]

Dad-inar this, Father figure that. As much as we like to joke about this signing adoption papers for all the stormlight characters, and even actively doing so for Kaladin, Dalinar is a completely unfatherly person.

I'm not talking about the time when he was an alcoholic, by the way, or even the fact he soent so little time with his children because he was off comitting war crimes, to the point of not even remembering Renarin's name (though that does contribute to that).

Dalinar isn't at all compationate. He sees his sons having a hards time and doesn't do anything about it. I'm not saying he doean't love them or care for them - he does - but he watches from the sidelines as they struggle. Renarin with his epilepsy, feeling constantly not good enough or unworthy because he can't fight, and then being uncomfortable when he got his shardplate and shardblade, and just brushing it off. Even when he becomes a Radiant, and still feels out of place because of his corrupted Spren, Dalinar just kinda keeps avoiding him, even when Renarin has a vision he doesn't really want to go see him about it. Sure, we can say he doesn't trust Odium and believes the visions to be from him, but he doesn't even try to comfort or encourage Renarin, who is out there fighting alongside him in this war. The obly time he complements Renarin, btw, is in his own thpughts, when he heala Adolin in Oathbringer finale.

Samw with Adolin. He sees his son struggle with relashinships his entire life, frothing at the mouth at the idea of battles and duels, much like Dalinar was at his age, and what ultimately ruined him, and he doesn't try to explain this to Adolin. He doesn't offer him advice, sympephise with him, hear out his concerns. Even when he was a child, we see Dalinar really notica Adolin when he shares interest in millitary tactics or fighting, even though his inner monologue is affectionate, he slips his mind the moment the topic shifts from war. He even scoffs at Adolin was wearing a differently designed uniform, which he complements years later in RoW, or adressing his as Father instead of Commander.

He isn't fatherly rowards other characters as well. He shared his grief with Jasnah, when she reads him the Way of Kings, but he doesn't offer her condolences or support or even a shoulder to cry on, following Gavilar's funeral. He can see Kaladin is way over his head and still ignores it and doesn't inquire how to sort things out, if he can reliece some of the duties off of him, because he's the Stormblessed, and when Kaladin breaks, he dissmissed him immidiatly. No care, no offer to listen to prevent the issues in the future. Even when he sees Kal clinging to the side of the tower as Dalinar passes via a Higstorm vission, and Kaladin is litteraly dying before his eyes, he extorts him for information, and then thinks "well, he's got most of the situation under control".

Even with baby Gavinor, he practices swordfighting with him, but when the child is triggred by something, due to his horrible trauma and wants to go to bed to be alone with his thoughs, Dalinar looks at him in bed, clearly knowing the kid needs compation and support, and offeres him nothing. Just goes.

He isn't fatherly. He's a strong leader, and thinks like a millitary man, which makes sense, but he's very much not a father figure

[recordsforeyes]

sighs. i love my wife. i say as i look at a disheveled, scruffy, traumatized, unfatherly old man who’s like. way too weird. and also gay

[thee-horny-thicky]

Hey, Mama!

In honor of Mother's Day, here's a snippet of a fanfic I wrote about Kurusu Kazuki lusting after a single mother, because there's a disgusting lack of reader-insert fics about that blond assassin

If you're interested in the full fic, it's on Ao3 💓

If there was one thing Kurusu Kazuki loved, it was women. Though he was technically bisexual, he had a strong preference for the fairer sex. He adored their feminine curves, their soft skin, and even softer lips.  He viewed them as walking works of art regardless of their size, color, or origin. Because in his eyes, women were just God’s gift to Earth, a reason to preserve in this cruel, cruel world. A wise man once said that though it’s a man’s world, it’s nothing without a woman or a girl, and Kazuki wholeheartedly agreed.

And the woman before him only reinforced that belief. With heavy breasts that hung beautifully, a soft tummy he just wanted to rest his head on, deliciously thick thighs that flared out to child-bearing hips, and adorably chubby cheeks, you were truly a sight to behold. A walking fantasy come to life, one that he couldn’t tear his eyes from. From the way you shyly smiled at him, he knew he was coming off a bit strong, but he couldn’t help himself.

His time at the daycare had exposed him to many women he deemed attractive, but they all paled in comparison to you. And based on your ringless fingers, unlike them, you weren’t spoken for. A single mother for a halfway single father, a match made in heaven.

“Papa!”  Miri called as she dashed toward him.

Behind her was another little girl with cloud-like black hair, who bared a strong resemblance to you. As Miri called for him, the other child called out, “Mama,” and B-lined for you, confirming the blond’s suspicions.

“Hey, sweetie,” you cooed as you scoop her into a hug, your soft tone making Kazuki’s heart flutter.

She beckoned you to come closer. When you did, she whispered something in your ear, making you furrow your brows together.

“Papa!” Miri repeats, tugging at his pant leg and recapturing his attention. His cheeks warmed as he realized how unfatherly he was being. “Can Mia come over?”

“Mia?” he questioned, trying to recall the names of her friends.

He knew Miri primarily hung around two other little girls, but his daughter was a social creature who would make friends with a rat if given the chance.

“My daughter,” you volunteered as you joined the two of them, clasping Mia’s hand in yours. “She was just telling me about Miri. Say hi, sweetie,” you urged when Mia hid behind your legs.

“Hi,” she whispered quietly, barely loud enough to be heard.

“She’s a little shy around strangers,” you revealed with a soft smile that made Kazuki weak in the knees.

Shit. He needed to say something.

He grinned at you two, hoping it masked his nerves, and offered the girl a wave. “Hey, kid! I’m Miri’s father.”

“So can she come over?” Miri inquired, a small pout on her face at her question going ignored.

“If it’s fine with her mother, then sure!”

He’d like nothing more than to have you at his home. He’d have to make sure the living space was clean, as Rei was a messy being. Often, it felt like he parented two children, a hyper child and a teenager in the middle of his emo phase.

Miri nodded, before turning to you. “Miss, can Mia come over?”

Much to his daughter’s delight, you nodded. “Sure! Let me get your number so we can set it up. When are you free?”

You wanted…his number? Holy shit, you wanted his number! Even the fact that it was completely platonic and for the sake of your daughters didn’t put a dent in his joy.

“Yeah, of course!” Kazuki exclaimed; a tad too eager based on how Miri looked at him funny. Pulling his phone from his hoodie’s pocket, he unlocked it and handed it to you. “Go ahead and put your number in.”

You nodded and accepted the device, quickly inputting your information. Your phone vibrates, and with a nod, you hand it back. “Okay, all set! It was nice meeting you two!”

He felt the same way. In fact, he was thanking every God in existence that you were put in his path.

“Yeah, same here!”

“We have to get going. Say bye, Mia.”

“Bye, Miri,” she said softly, no longer acknowledging Kazuki’s presence.

Okay by him, since she’d have plenty of time to get used to him. Seeing as he was going to woo her mother and all.

[joestrummen]

wait yell here are the best bits from a cmjf post dog collar fic i never remotely finished

The heavens over Max are alive with flashes of starlight. Black clad figures shift and smudge around him. Holding him down. Behind them rises a pillar with broad shoulders. A carved chest. And blood on its face. The pillar turns to look at him. And all falls black.

---

He makes his circuit of the ring, lifting the blood flecked chain above his head like a title belt and the crowd roars. A wall of sound battering him with glory. He holds his hand out and they touch it, anoint themselves with the blood.

---

CM Punk is a persistence hunter. All he needs are glimpses of that golden gazelle skin through the crowd to keep going. Max had thought he'd won in Chicago but that was just the first 15 second sprint. And here Punk is months later still ready to go. And the gazelle has fallen, tired. And Punk is going to sink his teeth into him as many times as he wants.

---

"Get your hands off me, woman." Punk can barely hear the murmur of her reply. "Oh yeah honey I can believe there are plenty of backwater community colleges handing out nurse uniforms to girls with big enough tits."

---

Punk slips his hand into his shorts, shifts like he's adjusting them, but slots the diamond ring back on his finger. He raises his hand and scratches his nose, casually, as if he isn't deliberately waving the ring in Max's face.

---

"No, no, no, no! Dax, you can't leave me with him!" Max wails. "Dax, he's gonna hurt me!" Behind Punk, Max's breaths keep hitching even after Dax is long gone. Punk lets him have his moment. Now they're alone he can take his time with him. Max doesn't give up though, just gets louder, sounds like a baby crying, until Punk's curiosity gets the better of him and-

Max is sitting with that big ugly grin on his face. He lets out one last cartoon sob. "You really can't help yourself, can you?" he croons.

"The more I beat you-" Punk stalks towards Max. "-the faster you come crawling back for more."

Punk looks down at him from the bedside. "I beat you, Max."

"YOU CHEATED," Max barks, never able to resist the bait.

Punk makes himself look fed up. "Tell yourself what you want, Max. You clearly need someone to help you with" - he gestures Max up and down - "this mess you've made of yourself."

---

That's the kid's problem. He still runs from the pain. To win in this game you have to live in it. You have to luxuriate in it. That's how you find the opportunities within it. To win.

---

"What happened tonight, Max?"

"You cheated!"

"Guess that's another thing I'm better than you at. What did you do Max?" Every time Punk asks his smile gets sickly sweeter. "Say it, Max."

Breathing fast, trying to keep something wild inside him under control, he says, "... I lost" with sullen eyes and a pout and never has another 25 year old looked like he's still seven. Every unfatherly insinct rises inside Punk.

---

Punk keeps his hand on the back of Max's neck, just a little pressure under his fingertips, a reminder that Max isn't running again. Punk won't let him go.

That's the thing with Max, he wears the devil's mask but if you can get close enough to crack it... underneath there's just a guilty little feral kitten that hisses until you scruff it.

---

"You are one sick little kitten. You came here to rub salt in my wounds, because it's what you think I want. Because it's what you want."

"I'm better than you-" Max leans in close and smiles sickly sweet, "-and you can't get enough."

[froshele]

dear lord I am sorry to hushpost so insufferably much but hi I have big crazy about the wizards again:

Fraser, who is nice to you, at least a bit obsessed with the Chris-Teresa thing, and per his description seems to be a very different person outside vs at home, is a Ramsund speaker. I guess in the Cultsim universe there are a few more occult or forgotten languages than we have, and the Ramsund stone is an incomprehensible occult somethingorother -- but then you have to have learned the language to engage with it, right, and what is "it"?

Not quite a runestone in our world but a carving on a stone, retelling part of the Sigurd epic, the part where he cooks Fafnir's heart for his foster father to eat, but it's raw, so he burns himself checking it and learns the language of the birds from tasting dragon blood on his finger.

The birds tell Sigurd that his foster father, also the guy who made his magic sword, Regin, Fafnir's brother, is dangerous to him and won't reconcile with him (as promised re: slaying Fafnir), so Sigurd kills Regin.

In this History I suppose the untranslated inscription was the basis for Ramsund the language, like, this was a cult of Vikings in this history -- and that's cool, and all, but it has horrific implications.

What's the Norse concept of fate like? Cyclic, stringlike, nothing you can do about it, you get allotted your wyrd and you gotta watch the patterns fall in place etc, we've all done enough English literature to know about wyrd, right? If we haven't, Tolkien has, and we can rely on him. :)

IMAGINE: you are just some very unfatherly young occultist and you learn the language of this stone because you hope to glean some Worm-Lore some Lore of the Scale some Lore Draconic etcetera, some stuff you can use to do your Worm behaviours necessary for your enrichment (try to overthrow the Hours).

You decode this stone about Sigurd and never think about it or about the wyrd of it all (because you are some guy who is a wizard and not actually a committed scholar of Scandinavian studies or a superstitious individual). You adopt and gloriously fuck up a son who, to spite you, through the metaphorical blood of your awful relationship, becomes conversant with the metaphorical Birds, and then follows the same trajectory as Sigurd, minus the murder but plus the stealing from you.

You come to Hush House to talk to a very weird Librarian about some new thing the King is doing, and she (because she pre-read your son's diary and kind of hates you, not that either of you give any evidence of knowing that) sidetracks you into tutoring her in Ramsund.

You get into talking about what it is. She interrupts and asks you if you've noticed that it has any sort of a metaphysical, terrible hold on you. You say no. But then you realize that actually yes, looking at that benighted rock when you were nineteen or whatever permanently altered your destiny and you can now map its convolutions to some really heterodox Norsemen's take on a hero myth. You have to think about your choices in life. You are very glad that you own a distillery. You resolve to never think about it again, but you have been sucked into or perhaps were born as part of a convolution of the Histories, and now you have to be very aware of that.

And the Librarian, who knows way too much about it, is just like "hee hee :) so about current events then", nornfully and not helpfully at all, because you have to face your destiny Fraser you have to be a man (according to the manhood concept of the Norse ghosts haunting you, apparently) and your destiny is yet to be seen but I cannot imagine it is any good at all actually. Also the birds themselves wrote the stone!!!! The avian hours! They are Mocking You!

[youremyheaven]

girl i regret saying that BYEEE 😭 YOU'RE NEVER HEARING FROM ME AGAIN

at least you're on anon and this is Tumblr

I have a friend irl, Mrigashira Rising (UBP Sun, Magha Moon) (i mention the mrig bc of its incest themes) who has a veryyyyy weird relationship with her dad. I don't think it's sexual or anything but they def don't act normal. She talks about her dad the way people talk about their boyfriends. He's good looking for his age and she talks about him in weird ways??? I remember one time when I happened to see them together and he came up to her and touched her face, shoulder, arm in unfatherly ways 🤡 (like there were romantic vibes IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN) and she literally always talked about how she wanted her boyfriend to be like her dad. The guy she's been in a long term relationship with for over a year is a Bharani Moon like her dad 😭😭😭 her ex was Vishaka Moon like her mom 😭😭😭

She spoke about how she went swimming with her dad, just the two of them alone 😬until she was 16-17 and she said some realllyyy questionable things about it.

So yeah there are girls out there who fully have weird psychosexual daddy issues.

You're good 🫂

[daycourtofficial]

Does gingerfucker ever call Eris "daddy" in the - unfatherly sense? I need to know. The domestically horny side of me is supremely feral right now.

Mmm I think so

[dean-coded-john-girl]

TW: IRL, UNREQUITED INCEST (to me, not from me. I don't want this shit)

So. Gods. I don't even want to explain all of it because 1. it's actually genuinely disgusting, and 2. I don't want my exact story anywhere online, associated with my irl self or not. Put simply, in a way that should be taken literally and at face value: my dad has recently groped my tits, talked about my body to his friends, and jerked off to the sound of me getting laid. And this is only what has been in the last month...

So. I guess I have to accept that clearly my dad is attracted to me. And, obviously, as much as I love the idea of my fictional father (usually in the form of jdm or rdj) wanting to be unfatherly with me, I do not want it irl with my actual dad at all. Ever. Point blank period. It's an incredibly disturbing feeling, actually. Knowing that I could, if I wanted to, but be so deeply revolted by the reality of it.

In some way, it brings me a lot of peace to know that I don't actually want it. I have felt like a terrible person in the past for my taste in fiction, but I now know in the most literal, physical, tangible way possible that I not only have no desire for it, but am actively repulsed by the thought.

So, there, antis, your most definitive proof: local dadfucker incest queen has the opportunity to fuck their dad but would rather self immolate on the spot. More fiction vs reality examples tomorrow at 5!

[ranboo5]

no no you see cphil acted unfatherly because he wanted to protect cdream from being associated with him and to help him spread his wings (joke)

Of course how could one forger

[plutoandcoffee]

my dad is such a... unfatherly father

[caralara]

it's such a, idk, unfatherly thing... everyone knows you can't make a 6 year old kid sit and listen through an entire album and then ask for their opinion? it's such an unparental thing to do imo lmao

Sorry what? Y’all don’t have much knowledge about children, do ya💀 I could totally make my brother sit down and listen to music if i wanted to. Depends on how you get them excited about it. And it’s definitely not an unfatherly thing to do, da hekk. If he did it he probably did in a way that was child friendly, not like he would do it with us. Jesus. I totally would show my new album to my kid regardless of how old they are.

It seems like you don’t know much about kids?? Which 6 year old is willing to sit down 45+ minutes to listen to an album that’s very much not his taste? lmao yeah sure

Of course I was able to have my cousins or brother sit down when they were that age and show them a song, maybe 2 tops. But then the attention and interest is on the next thing.

And Freddie very clearly is an iPad baby, so the attention span is even shorter. Also you see what kind of music that family listens to and it deffo isn’t Louis‘ music

[daddycest-hub]

7th-Maybe even see if he can join in for a Father X Slut X Son Threesome, & really make the Whore moan... The idea of seeing his own son's junk, filling a used, perhaps even son cum creampied pussy with his raw cock, brushing his full fatherly balls against his boy's balls as they sandwich the bitch between them... doing nothing to dissuade him... in fact... something about such unfatherly thoughts... makes him even harder & twitch hungrily in his tight pants, feeling like his zipper will burst!

Ooo my, what an active imagination Sam has ;)

[rtfproductions]

Cheees its good

[ameasureofpower]

Awakens to a flood of robotic posteriors on his feed.

...

Either someone forgot to close out their mech-aug fetish or ICARUS is passively pleading for a phyical unit.

Neither of these situations pleases the Director.

But that's not saying much.

[brattycobra]

Johnny: okay let me offer you some fatherly advice-

Robby: I don't want your advice.

Johnny: Well, then consider it unfatherly advice.