#understandable as it was written about grief

[pythonmoth]

cw: violence. torture. waterboarding. hurt/no comfort.

simon x reader. implied soap x reader if you squint.

i haven't written in a long time. it's good to be back.

part one | part two

Traitor.

That's what Price thinks as Simon and Soap drag you from the table, nearly choking on your food as they give you no time to understand what's going on.

Alarms ring in your ears as you force the piece of stale bread down your throat, trying to stand on your feet but they're taller than you, so your feet end up dangling, useless. You take a deep breath, your voice shaking as much as you are.

"What's going on? Is this some kind of sick joke?", you ask, looking at Simon, desperate to find an explanation for this other than the anger and torment in his eyes.

Simon doesn't answer. Nobody does. Soap's grip tightens, but he doesn't say anything, his expression hard.

No.

No.

You can tell they are not joking when you realize they're taking you downstairs. Sweat rolls down your face, fear creeping from the base of your neck to your toes, making you snap. You beg them to tell you what's going on, to explain why you're being dragged down there. You kick and struggle, a sob ripped deep from your chest as you start screaming, begging for a reaction. And then, pain.

Tears fill your eyes when it's Simon who hits your stomach with his fist, effectively shutting you up. You can smell the blood from past tortures mixed with bleach, and, distantly, the scent of forgotten wet rags. There's something salty in the air, and that's when you freeze, the pain in your stomach becoming nothing compared to the fear that grows in your chest.

They know you.

You've been with them for nine years. They know your fears.

"No. No. Please. Simon, Johnny— Please, please, please" you beg, sobbing as you can't do anything but go limp and heavy in their grip, doing the best you can to keep them from tying you to the chair. But it's useless.

Stars and colors dance behind your eyes as a fist connects with the side of your chin. You wonder if it would be better if they made you pass out right now. Maybe if you bite your tongue, it could—

"Gag her" Price tells them.

He's trained you for nine years.

He knows you.

You try to bite down on Johnny's fingers as he stuffs your mouth with an old rag, but it's difficult when your senses are unfocused after such a hard punch. The rag wet and disgusting, the scent and the taste making you sob again, shaking your head, your eyes big as you look at Simon.

Please.

Then a wet rag is pressed to your face. You inhale sharply as cold buckets of salty water are dropped right on your face, the cloth making it impossible for you to breathe. Salty water fills your lungs, making you choke and cough around the gagging rag.

You can hear questions, accusations, but you're paralized with fear, with pain and grief.

Grief.

They've been your friends, your family for so long. It's impossible to tell if you'll live through this. It's impossible for you to think of them as anything but monsters.

You know they usually did this with traitors, with enemies when it was necessary.

And you know they never enjoy it.

You've scolded Simon for smoking so late at night, you've had so many drinks next to him when he can't even speak. Simon often flinches awake from nightmares, startling you and then sharing quiet nights side to side.

You know this.

But then Simon hits your face again, taking the rag out of your mouth, and you can't find the love you have for him. It's expelled from your body with each hard cough, with each drop of blood falling from your nose.

"Did you not hear me?" Price demands, his arms crossed. "I'll ask one more time, then."

Smack.

Your chest is heaving, the fear so paralizing you can't even feel each punch as much as you should.

"What did you tell them?" Price continues, not looking one bit anxious for you to answer. He stands in front of you, his feet dry despite the salt burning your lungs.

"I don't know what you're talking about" you manage, looking up at Price, your eyes wide and bloodshot.

With a hard yank on your hair until your head is thrown back again, you're gagged once more, and the rag is pressed to your face. The salty water keeps on filling your lungs, unable to breathe, unable to cough around the gag.

You can't say anything. You truly don't know shit.

Hours later, when it becomes clear you won't speak, Price kicks you across the chest, hard, and the chair flips back.

You're tied up to the chair, exhausted and wet, your lungs burning with salt.

Memories of you as a child, nearly drown to death by your cousins, fill your mind. It had been a good day, until it wasn't.

Simon had held you when you told him, kissed you, and tucked you in for a good night sleep.

Johnny managed to make you crackle when you told him, patting your head, and saying your cousin had awful skills.

Now, there's nothing. Nothing but pain, and the burning in your lungs.

The door springs open, and the three men leave.

Only then do you close your eyes, passing out.

[elodieunderglass]

Just dropping in too say, really enjoying the Killieposting lately! As someone who was never a horsegirl but did read a lot of books about them, I love it.

Anyways, since i know you are also a Diana Wynne Jones enjoyer, I was wondering if you'd ever read Enchanted Glass? feat. an old retired jockey living with a disability caused by an injury from his racing days! It's actually one of my favorite DWJ stories but no one else ever seems to have heard of it (also featuring weredogs, vegetable growing, grief, romance, the failures of the foster system, the king and queen and queen of faerie, and a couple of slightly cringefail wizards types(for anyone interested in such things))

I’m really glad! I start to feel embarrassed but then people send me lovely asks!

I wish I’d written Enchanted Glass(2010), but she got there first.

On balance it’s decent Jockey Representation, with a joke just for me:

“Tarquin’s small, bearded face looked to Andrew to be showing agony. But he reminded himself that the man had been a jockey and that jockeys were used to pain.”

— Enchanted Glass by Diana Wynne Jones

(Killie offscreen plaintively saying that that doesn’t mean they want to be in pain)

DWJ 🤝 Dick Francis with the content, of course, but note the stylistic lack of comma!!! That’s not DWJ’s cadence, that’s a Francis signature. That is LITERALLY a joke just for me. One point for that.

Unfortunately, I do have to condemn this as Problematic, even if it’s Aidan (feral orphan failed by foster system)POV and intended to reveal Aidan’s character:

“Aidan was astonished all over again at the little man with one leg, who energetically heaved himself into the room with his crutches. He should have had the hat, Aidan thought.”

Oh Aidan no -

“He was surely a gnome, beard and all. But his greying head was bare and slightly bald. “You know my brother-in-law, Tarquin O’Connor,” Mr Stock announced.”

Do not -

“Ah, no. He’s Irish. He’s a leprechaun, Aidan thought.”

Why do English people exist? Really? I do understand that this is a feral foster child POV of course, but come on, kid.

“He had been right to think leprechaun about the brave, shrewd little man with one leg. He almost was one. He was full of gifts.”

No you were not right Aidan, that’s plain racism, argh.

I like this shoutout to the Injured Jockeys Fund:

“Tark, as Mr Stock heard it, had been lucky to live, trampled and broken in all directions as he was. He’d never ride again. Nowadays, Tarquin lived on his savings and what he got from the Injured Jockey (sic) Fund…”

Still relevant today and a nice touch. Here’s the webpage for the IJF with some up-to-date statistics.

Quick edit to show how DWJ is very good with POV here in Andrew POV:

“Though the life of a jockey was something Andrew could barely imagine himself, he could tell it had been as thrilling and absorbing as his own work on his book.”

Yeah I reckon it might be Andrew lmao. Lmao it is as thrilling as writing an academic text for SURE. So empathetic of you to notice that.

(Love a good DWJ unreliable narrator)

on the whole, not bad Jockey Representation and a book that contains competitive flower and vegetable growing.

Me 🤝 Tarquin having to console ourselves for winning prizes for our cakes instead, due to blatant FUCKING AROUND FROM THE JUDGES. I saw you, Tark, you deserved that win, and I completely understand that cake prizes ain’t shit really, anyone can bake a cake. I don’t care that the fucking king of the elves himself is fucking us around in some kind of climactic scene or something, trust me, that kind of thing takes care of itself, narratively speaking. it’s the fact that you look back at your records for years afterwards and have to remember that ONE year, that ONE YEAR where they DELIBERATELY DICKED YOU OVER - “oh that’s the year that the elf king guy or whatever got mad” FORGET THAT? SO WHAT? GEOPOLITICS?? - I’ll be noticing the blank spot where my prize should’ve gone for the rest of my LIFE?

On balance I do appreciate this book! Thank you!!

[froidefille]

Day 6: edging/overstimulation 

📚 Freedom to be by @quicksilvermaid

Draco/Harry, 169k, E 

Summary: 

Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived.  12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends.  Only nothing feels perfect.  Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place. 

Wow, this fic! It’s a real kink playground; it has an abundance of stunningly hot scenes. I chose it for my day 6 rec because the edging scene in this fic is simply unforgettable. It’s vital to the plot so you feel the tension throughout, and it has steps and levels and layers and I just... wow. It’s all the way in chapter 11 tho so let me gush about this story as a whole for a minute 😅

Let me introduce you to this fic in Author’s own words, who describes it as “a mixture of Auror case fic and personal development, using BDSM as a tool to tell a story. I'll be exploring trauma, grief, consent, communication, how abuse in childhood might manifest in later life, dominance and submission and how those are two sides of the same coin in terms of power and control. I'll be looking at the pressures we place on ourselves and that society places on us to live the 'right' life, and how sometimes the people who are the right people for you change." 

AND ISN’T THAT JUST THE GRATEST MIX?  

It encompasses all the most delicious prompts: the slowest burn, identity porn, healing, difficult Real Life stuff and the cutest Scorpius to balance it out. There’s also a case and then there’s the BDSM relationship. All of which is so amazingly written, you will catch yourself at 3 am after 50k words when you only wanted to copy your highlights for a rec. Or something ^^ 

I will never tire of personal-growth-through-BDSM theme and that's so exquisitely achieved here. You come for the porn and then you 100% stay for the story! Harry’s guilt will break your heart, Draco’s parenting will have you feel warm all over and then the Scenes will have your brain and other body parts FEEL THINGS. I wish I could write eloquently about sex, but in the meantime just trust me, mind the tags and go have a read! 

A lil edgy explicit excerpt for your enjoyment under the cut! 😇

Then the low buzz came again. He could feel himself getting lost in it - lost in the cycle of pleasure without release. Ladon teased at him, the pleasure building again and again, the sensation never quite enough - never long enough to let it break. He felt as though he were cresting one wave after another, desperate to let it finally break on him, drown him. He could think of nothing but the bliss rushing through his body. Then Ladon moved the vibrator, trailing it up to his balls and letting it sit there, against the ring, the vibrations shuddering through his cock as well. It was a steady speed and Harry cried out again at the intensity of it, his stomach muscles clenching and his hips jerking involuntarily. He wanted - he couldn't -  'Y- Ye-,' he sobbed. Ladon seemed to understand, turning the vibrator off and taking it away from him, soothing his hands down Harry's shaking legs gently, as though quieting a frightened animal.  'You're doing incredibly well, Harry,' Ladon murmured softly, tone full of something that sounded like pride. Harry let the sound fill him up, let himself bask in it. 'You're so perfect. So good. One more time, okay. Just one more.' 

[buckydeservesthebest]

thanks @legalandnotease for your contribution, I'm going to make mine as well because this user @quimbolgees seems to love to ignore how ableist and victim-blamer Sam was for literally the entire series with Bucky.

Did it ever occur to you that Sam was also grieving? He too lost time off of his life, lost Natasha without closure and the other friend he gave up his health, life, freedom and safety to help abandoned him as well?

Of course, I know that Sam as well as all the victims of the Blip (which also includes Bucky) were going through the loss of time of their lives, time, maybe some family and friends, etc. Bucky was going through exactly that and also dealing with being in control of his own body for the first time in 70 years, with all the trauma of being tortured, stripped of his identity and forced to kill against his will, plus brain damage, C-PTSD, and on top of that losing the only family he had left and the only one who truly believed in him: Steve.

I personally know what it is like to deal with a grief that leaves an identity crisis for having lost a very close loved one, I have also lived the experience of seeing one of his possessions being misused by the person he had entrusted it to, oh and believe me, my family and I were so offended that we did not hesitate to go and claim that, and guess what happened?? The person realized his mistake, even though it was unintentional, but he never dared to use the extremely offensive comment of “this has nothing to do with you” because that is one of the lowest things you can say to a close relative of the deceased. This is why I can perfectly understand the way Bucky felt about seeing the shield in the hands of the government.

And how do you dare say Sam had no real rationale to give up the shield when Bucky knew of Isaiah’s existence and the shit he dealt with fer decades when he did exactly the same fucking thing Rogers did?

The thing is simple, Sam gave up the shield (I mean... to the government, what a bad idea) because the poorly written script made him think that the world would not want a black Captain America, this was before knowing Isaiah's story. But Sam as such never, at any time faced public rejection or a single comment that he would not be accepted for being black, even Rhodey asked him why he had not taken the mantle without making any reference to rejection for racial issues. Isaiah's situation was horrible and unfair without a doubt, unfortunately that kind of racism was quite common in the decade from the 50's to the 80's - 90's and you could not raise your voice, but in 2024 things have changed enormously, many black men were already in high positions of power as Rhodey, Nick Fury, etc, that's why once Isaiah's story was known he was immediately recognized as a hero by society.

But beyond the fact that the writing was so bad as to not properly cement this issue, *the real problem*, as I've tried to explain for numerous times now, was NEVER that Sam didn't feel comfortable taking the mantle as Captain America, BUT THAT HE GIVED UP THE SHIELD TO THOSE WHO COULD MISUSE IT, AND THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED. And again, after Steve's death, Sam remained in possession of the shield for a long time without having taken up the mantle as the new Cap, AND BUCKY NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT. HIS JUSTIFIED ANNOYANCE CAME FROM KNOWING IT WAS NOW THE GOVERNMENT WHO WAS IN POSSESSION OF THE SHIELD BECAUSE OF SAM'S BAD DECISION, AND THAT WAS WHY THERE WAS NOW A NEW CAP WHO WAS NOT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB. *THAT'S BUCKY'S REAL PROBLEM.*

How Bucky managed to not grapple or try to understand Sam’s mental strife knowing what he did means he’s an obtuse little fuck when it comes to emotionally attaching himself to an inanimate object in lieu of feeling abandoned.

Like when you have never experienced the horrible experience of painful grief, and you just throw ignorant comments about it... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The attachment to the belongings of the loved one you lost and now feel like the only memory you have of them, IS TOTALLY NORMAL AND UNDERSTANDING, IT'S CALLED GRIEF AND IT TAKES A LONG TIME TO BEGIN TO HEAL, many psychological and thanatological studies have proven this on tons of occasions.

So please, if you have no idea what it feels like to live through this, then don't flippantly throw out offensive comments like this, which are an insult to people like me who still after years have not recovered.

But him feeling betrayed and hurt gives him no leeway to be a bastard to Sam as he was.

Expressing your displeasure at seeing one of your loved one's closest possessions being misused is not called being a “bastard” it is called wanting to defend that belonging when your loved one is no longer here to do it himself. And again in case you don't get it right, IT'S CALLED GRIEF AND IT SHOULD BE RESPECTED.

Releasing Zemo was a fucked decision because he was a murdering, manipulative piece of shit and was an entire stab in the back to the people who took him in and helped to deprogram him, gave him a semblance of rest where he’d known only war.

You love to deliberately ignore certain information to twist things in your favor don't you? I explained it before: THE BADLY WRITTEN SCRIPT THAT MADE ZEMO THE “GREATEST HYDRA EXPERT” MADE HIS ASSISTANCE NECESSARY IN THE MISSION TO FIGHT THE FLAG SMASHERS. THE BOOK “THE ART OF THE TFATWS” LITERALLY SAYS THAT BUCKY AND SAM DID THE RIGHT THING BY RESORTING TO HIS ASSISTANCE, do you understand this or do I have to repeat it?

And once again, do you understand that Zemo is not only responsible for T'Chaka's death but he was also an abuser of Bucky himself and one of the people who hurt him the most by framing him for the UN bombing, causing everyone to try to kill him throughout the movie, causing him to be held guilty without a fair trial, and later subjecting him to mind control which takes away his agency? In a just world part of Zemo's sentence should have been for all the damage he caused Bucky.

Oh and since you want to start with the false “Bucky betrayed the people who did him the favor of helping him” argument, let me burst your bubble and clarify that the reason T'Challa offered Bucky assistance in removing the Winter Soldier's programming from his brain, was not because of how magnanimous T'Challa is in wanting to help a poor man who had suffered too much, but rather that that assistance was given in the form of an apology for having spent it trying to kill him without being sure if Bucky was the one truly responsible for his father's death, and also in the form of thanks because thanks to him and Steve, T'Challa was able to get to the one truly responsible. The canonical comic Avengers Infinity War Prelude literally.

Bucky needing to readjust how he lived his life was solid advice. Seeking to put those in prison that his controlled mind and body put into positions of power was not sustainable.

Sam's “advice” has nothing to do with Bucky “readjusting to life”, all Sam did was tell Bucky that he is responsible and guilty for the acts he was forced to do under mind control and to overcome that he has to “do the work and put himself in the service of those ‘he wronged’ like the Winter Soldier”. As rightly said before by my friend legalandnotease, THAT IS CALLED VICTIM-BLAMING. BUCKY DOES NOT HAVE TO DO ANY WORK BECAUSE HE IS AS BIG A VICTIM AS ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE HARMED BY HYDRA'S ACTIONS.

Him being of service, being present in his life and surrounding community would be beneficial to himself as well.

NO, THERE IS NOTHING HEALTHY OR BENEFICIAL FOR BUCKY TO GO ABOUT PRESENTING HIMSELF TO THE PEOPLE HE BELIEVES HE IS THE VICTIMIZER OF, AS THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR MISDEEDS. Supporting Dr. Raynor's victim-blaming idea of victim-blaming in the interaction between victims, where one of them is presented as the victimizer not as a victim as well, is extremely harmful and damaging to both parties. Sam has never had experience as a victim of abuse, enslavement nor mind control, so he should know that he is NOT qualified to offer appropriate and healthy advice to a victim of this situation.

You don’t get to dictate how what Bucky said affected Sam and you don’t get to pretend that some of the shit he said didn’t reek of self centeredness.

I don't come here to pretend anything, simply that, unlike you, I fully share and understand Bucky's experience of what it's like to deal with a painful grief of losing a close loved one that leaves you with an identity crisis. And guess what? Every single one of Bucky's actions are totally in line with that. To say that this is “self centered” is extremely insensitive and offensive to a grieving person, BECAUSE IT IS NO MORE WANTING TO PROTECT AND PRESERVE THE BELONGINGS OF THAT PERSON WHO IS NO LONGER THERE TO DO IT HIMSELF. And when you add to that the fact that that possession (the shield) is in the hands of one who can misuse it and endanger someone, it increases by 1000 Bucky's justification for disagreeing with Sam's decision.

All the other points are already well covered by my friend… And in closing, we Bucky fans never minimize the trauma of all the other Marvel characters who have also suffered greatly, such as Rocket, Nebula, Thor, Yelena, Natasha, Isaiah, etc. Our outrage is based on the fact that unlike each of them, Bucky has never had the opportunity to be empathized with or understood by anyone other than Steve and just a comment from T'Challa, he has been blamed for his trauma and experiences over and over again, and forced to make amends for what his captors forced him to do. Bucky has been denied the right to be recognized as a victim, when the victimhood of everyone else has never been in doubt.

After watching the only scene in BNW that mattered to me, I wanna emphasize how important it is that bucky says one of the most emotionally mature things that a character has said in the MCU in a long while.

He asks sam “Why?”

He doesn’t correct Sam. Tell him he’s wrong. He doesn’t make the moment about himself.

It shows that Bucky fucking grew after TFATWS. a show where he is so self-obsessed (because of his trauma which isn’t inherently his fault) that he rarely considers Sam’s emotions.

Bucky Barnes has one of the best arcs in the MCU, and I think him even saying “I love you” is another sign that he is frankly pretty damn emotionally intelligent and either the writers or Sebastian Stan decided that it was important to include.

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 231

doomed timeline

u ever think about how literally every single one of the thousands of aradias that traveled back to fight in the trolls' boss battle was from a doomed timeline where she had to a) watch all her friends die b) process that she was also doomed and c) then power through all that to do a bunch of time travel detective work so that she could advise the alpha iterations of her friends on how to avoid splitting into that doomed timeline in the first place? before traveling to a battle she knew she wouldn't make it out of?

yeah man

[caeslxys]

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)

As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)

He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.

(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)

It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.

(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)

[varpusvaras]

Thinking about how after Thorn dies, Quinlan has a harder time with the Dark side. Him and Fox do not comfort each other: both of them are too deep into their own grief, and, really. They never really got along anyway.

Then things happen, and Quinlan falls.

If him and Fox never really got along before, now there is not even trying.

[odetoalibrary]

I also feel this. Interview with the Vampire is one of my favourite books of all time whereas The Vampire Lestat was enjoyable to me, mostly because of the Armand interactions. I think I just don’t identify with Lestat as a protagonist and prefer him to be lover/antagonist.

I’ve seen reviews where others feel the exact opposite so I’m sure many Lestat fans will be happy. There’s just something about Louis’s melancholy and his love of humanity that strikes a chord in me over anyone in TVL as much fun as it was to read

as much as i am excited for iwtv season 3 i actually have very different expectations for it than seasons 1 & 2. i sort of expect it not to be that good? definitely not AS good as those first two seasons but i feel like that goes without sayiing. i'd love to be proven wrong of course but i'm also perfectly happy with the idea of it being a campy romp that doesn't take itself too seriously but is consistently entertaining. i think it would work well for lestat's story (deeply unserious man) and i think it's in line with the experience of reading iwtv and it blowing your tits clean off only to move onto the next books and be like damn. this is some wacky shit

[thebestusernamepossible]

Literally going insane, might have to write fanfic for the first time in 2 years because the people™️ do not get my favorite female characters like I do and I feel the insurmountable urge to write her. I’m going to bite drywall why don’t ppl see her complexities. PLEASE STOP WRITING HER ETHIER AS DOMICILE MOM OR BITCH (or just for shipping) she is so so cool please guys please.

Also while I’m here, fandoms tendency to shove women in the ‘pure powerful goddess who can do no wrong’ box and then proceed to never give them an actual narrative role other than like ‘supportive’ or ‘took out a few background guys’. Like why DOES this incredibly badass and complex female character just get shunted into doinging some cool flips, getting praised about it (she’s the strongest fighter, so feminist wow) then never getting actnowleged as a 2 dimensional character.

I saw this a lot when I was in the Batman fandom, particularly with Cassandra Cain. She is a highly complex and interesting character, but in fandom she’s kind of shunted to ‘Badass therapy dog who takes care of the men’. Because even on the slight chance her backstory is brought up it’s always never delved into and mostly used to make her etheir more tragic and in need of support on a surface level or to let her be compassionate with the men characters who get their actual problems foucused on. It’s a unqiue kind of frustrating because it’s like almost letting the cool female character be cool, but it’s more like the idea of a badass women is shoved in your face, maybe joked about (or if we’re lucky she gets to beat up a few bad-guys), but ultimately treated like a cardboard cutout. Interestingly this actually isn’t entirely a female character thing, it’s also common with like old grandfather/grandmother characters and the elderly in general. But it’s usually badass women from what I see. :/ Why can’t fandom explore their stories (people do but why is it so much less), why can’t they be the prtags of cool AUs or time-travel fix-its, or crossover events

Idk I think I’m just frustrated, and I typed out more than I thought I would. Also Ive seen what happens to some other posts complaining about fandom misogyny, so please know if you’re a TERF, fuck off you have no place in this discussion. We will never agree, and frankly all of these points apply to canon Trans Women characters. Don’t say shit ill fucking end you.

[notebookmusical]

books read in 2025 🤍

books read so far: 10 reading goal: 100

as always, askbox + dms are open if have any questions or would like to chat about books! you can find me on goodreads here, and on bookstagram here. 🤍

♡ indicates any new favorites; ⊹ indicates a reread.

january ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. writers & lovers by lily king 2. the art of memory collecting: 15 scrapbook, collage, trinket and zine projects for crafting treasured moments by martina calvi 3. tom lake by ann patchett (audiobook) ♡ 4. our town by thornton wilder ⊹ 5. beloved by toni morrisson 6. promise me sunshine by cara bastone (arc) ♡ 7. days at the morisaki bookshop by satoshi yagisawa & translated by eric ozawa ♡ 8. small things like these by claire keegan (audiobook) 9. beartown by fredrik backman ♡

february ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. the fellowship of the ring by j.r.r. tolkien (audiobook)

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

énouement

T | Major Character Death | 1/? | Grief/Mourning

Her chest heaves. “Stop!” Katara’s voice pitches to a shriek. “It’s not—” —real. Zuko’s teeth dig into his bottom lip, warm copper bursting into the far corners of his mouth. “Why?” (Or: Katara, Aang, Zuko. A tale of love, loss, and love again.)

Read Chapter 1 on AO3

[sapphic-agent]

(Sorry for the small text at the bottom)

[askblueandviolet]

...was that your fault?

MASTER POST

Asks Start 💙

Previous 💙

Next 💙(🐶)

[littencloud9]

//

[thats-how-i-like-it]

caitlyn is in her police brutality arc and I hate it

[19011301180905]

😭😭😭😭😭😭THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A J NO SUBETE STAGEPLAY WHAT THE FUCKKK 😭😭😭😭😭 I WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN IT BUT I'M FEELING SO OVERWHELEMED RIGHT NOW FOR NO REASON 😭😭😭😭😭

J AND PAUL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

but for all seriousness, i'm disappointed that j is played by a man. rita herself is played by a trans man so i'm sure that they would have had no problem with hiring a trans woman for the role