#understand my vision

[gallus-rising]

i totally understand why ppl ship Laios and Kabru, i get the appeal, but to me that doesn't probably capture depths that their Freak Behaviors would create if combined in such a way

Kabru has just enough sense to not stick his dick in (that particular brand of) crazy, but he is still studying Laios like a bug. imagining him in situations. rotating him in the fantasy microwave. etc. he's thoroughly observed Laios in his natural habitat (dungeon), currently observing him in his unnatural habitat (civilization). he's seen Laios' family dynamics, has been sucked into his friendship circle, subtly interrogated fellow victims. there's only one thing left

he's never seen Laios Fuck

is this, perhaps, the singular aspect in life in which Laios is normal? is he his normal abrasive self or a conscience and tender lover? what does Laios think foreplay is? would he even register someone making moves on him in the first place? are dog collars involved at some point?? oh god what if the dog collars aren't even a sex thing for him--

imagine, you are an elven government spy here to seduce state secrets out of the mysterious king of the golden kingdom. months of pretending to care about his special interest are starting to pay off. after a banquet (you specifically were chosen for the job because of your immunity to poisons) he shyly invites you back to his chambers. this is it! the two of you are being shadowed, as would be expected for the king's first illicit encounter with a foreign dignitary, but you've finally done it!

Some Guy just walks in and starts taking notes while giving you the world's most intense Weezer Blue stare. you nervously, yet seductively, try to ask the king if he likes being watched or something~ ;) "haha yeah Kapru likes 'studying my habits' sometimes :)" oh god this isn't even a sex thing. with every second the Guy becomes increasingly distressed. Laios is just happy to be here

[severinstarblaze]

Is this

Is this anything

[redstonedust]

i think ren should do the funniest possible thing and bring back renbob once again. he just kind of moves into the buttercups camp unannounced and they all think this is just ren doing more spy work and keep trying to catch him out but no its legitimately just renbob getting summoned by the vibes and the giant pot.

[yourgoodboybaby]

We all talk about the king's free use jester when discussing regency kink but never mean dom jester and bell related pavlovian orgasm techniques

[peachiesnake]

he got a letter

[theblob1958]

[yandereunsolved]

I'm being consumed with thoughts about writing platonic yandere James Randal.

And I feel like no one that follows my blog knows wtf I am talking about.

but for some reason it is in my mind now.

―

"I have made it my life's mission to protect you."

"James, you're 82. I don't think that mission is gonna last very long."

30 minutes later...

Several dead, the police are chasing him and they think you're being held hostage, some shenanigans went on with a chainsaw, bulldozer, and bubble wrap.

Darling sitting in the cell with James, holding hands because otherwise he gets upset.

officer: "How do you plead?"

James: "quilt. I am quilty on all accounts."

―

Darling gets a restraining order out on James.

"You can't stop papa James with a piece of paper!"

James gets tasered.

"Nor with a taser! My protection knows no bounds. You know what they say? Life is like a box full of chainsaws. You may get cut to pieces with one but that's just a chance you gotta take."

―

Darling: "Fine. We can go harass Leo... and anyone else we find on the way there."

James: "YIPPIE! YIPPIE! YIPPIE! YIPPIE!" starts jumping up and down and dancing.

―

Darling is getting harassed.

"Yo, are you dis-re-specting my bitch?"

"That isn't what you think it means, James."

"Shh. Osvaldo taught me this. It's this new language to help better de-escalate situations."

It in fact did not de-escalate the situation.

―

"I can see you stalking me in the bush, James."

James giggling. "Nuh uh! No one is here by the names of James Randal. I'm just a bush... named Bush."

―

"You stole my heart, let me propose to you and give you this ring I definitely didn't steal so we can get married."

Darling just standing there after getting randomly proposed to.

James takes out his phone and dials Mama. "Mama, we're gonna need trash bags and a lot of lime. Do you know how to hide a body? Or where we can hire one of those hit men...?"

―

Jameszilla (Big James)

"Papa want darling. Papa want darling."

"Quick! Someone get them. We can use them to lure him to jail."

―

[niclepto]

Gotta dress him up like a doll please see my vision

[honestsister]

"Wouldn't it be cool to date-" Silence

Let me hire characters as temporary models and put them in cute outfits for styling competitions.

[indigowallbreaker]

Radio: *Plays "Shape Of You"*

Someone: Ugh, Ed Sheeran is such a shit artist.

Me, mentally playing the Lazytown Sportarobbie video and not listening: Mhm.

[xahi]

おこちゃま戦争

[tobysbliss]

lee quackity core!!

[tinogiehd]

btw

[princehendir]

Come to my mind palace we have Maric/Loghain 🤝 Anora/Alistair but she's Maric and he's Loghain concepts in here.

[darkpastelpurple]

dear god please let me swing with izzy roland and brennan lee mulligan

please god I've never asked for anything please let me be in an izzy brennan sandwich

please God hello god please