#unclear what this all means i just really love them so much

[witchinatree]

i've been relistening to the magnus archives (by that i mean i just listen to it constantly. more than music at this point i think.) and i really really really really love jon & daisy's dynamic and every time i thnk about it i just get hit with this new "oh my god...."

like they're the two i think of when i see the "there's only one person who's ever truly understood me, unfortunately i fucking hate the guy" (i think i'm quoting it wrong but ykwim)

one of my favorite moments in the show is when they're following daisy after the change and jon is like "i never forgave daisy for what she did to me, but she never asked me to either. she knew she had no right"

also it's like they both died twice (kind of) the first time during the unknowing after trying to protect the others (daisy giving into the hunt to kill breekon or hope i forget & jon trying to stop tim from blowing himself/everyone up) and the second time when they gave up the last of their humanity for the people they love the most & those people had to kill them

they also doomed themselves for each other if you think about it. like jon went into the buried (technically he didn't know about the marks but he still knew he might not come back) and daisy gave into the hunt for the final time to protect him from trevor & julia. they don't even really know each other but at the same time they know each other like the way they know themselves??????

like WHAT those are the same person but also they aren't but they are???? sorry i'm actually incoherent but i really love their dynamic and i just keep putting together more pieces the more i'm thinking about it/listening to the show.

i think there's more i wanted to say but i forgot

[mikuni14]

Jack & Joker - Ep 7

This episode was extremely hard for me to watch, because it's like someone took the tropes I hate the most and decided to put them here one by one. Lack of communication, misunderstanding, saying something horrible about a loved one when don't mean it and they hear it, a love triangle, a love triangle with a girl in a BL series, noble sacrifice, noble, stupid and unnecessary sacrifice, being mean for a "noble" purpose to protect a loved one by rejecting them, heartbreaking fights, jealousy, the pain of rejection, suffering alone. I hate every single one of these things and a series that I like so, so much decided to throw them all into one episode, at once. So it's easy to imagine that I'm not having a good time 💀

So many bad things happened in this episode that I started crying at the end, it was just too much. What really depressed me was that many of these things were unnecessarily bad, and there was a kind of malice in them that was hard to watch on screen.

I had some understanding (not excuse - understanding) for Save in the last episode, but then I didn't know all the facts. Now I have only contempt for him, because he is simply stupid and cruel in what he does. Save didn't even arrange something specific for Hope, or even for himself, which is exceptionally stupid, since he literally sold his soul to the devil - as it turns out, for nothing. On top of that, he didn't have to include Joke in his schemes, my jaw just dropped when after everything he did to Jack and his grandma, he himself, without being asked, says to Boss that there is one more dude who can mess with your plans, like bitch fr? Save dangerously plays god, messing with people's lives (in grandma's case - her LITERAL life) and for whom, for his boyfriend who works for the mafia and openly says that he actually likes doing it and unlike Jack - is a real loan shark who beats people (his behavior radicalized Tattoo). Hope was beaten, which is a risk of the profession he does, he wasn't beaten up randomly on the street for money, or bullied at a regular job., ffs! But what Save will never earn my forgiveness for is that for the sake of unclear privileges for his boyfriend 1) he could've killed an innocent person 2) he destroys the lives - and I want to emphasize this - LITERALLY DESTROYS THE LIVES of 3 innocent people. And not that I like Rose, but it also affects her life. Thus, grandma, Jack, Joke and Rose are just pawns, a colateral damage in his plans, for his own personal gain.

SAVE IS LIKE TEE FROM DFF. Sorry, but just as I had no sympathy for those guys, I have no sympathy for Save. He doesn't have to do this, he doesn't have to do such cruel and plainly evil things, he doesn't have to be so zealous, such an "employee of the month doing 200% of the norm" lol. It's very interesting that Save, instead of persuading Hope to leave this job and even run away, since he's oh so worried about him, directs his efforts to protect him, by harming others - others who are in the same or worse situation as he is.

..........

This whole marriage plot is so silly and soap opera and that's how I decided to treat it, so that I could still like this show 😅. Gods, it's just so stupid and when Jack initially didn't agree, I was so happy that finally, a voice of reason, and yet.. I don't know how Boss and Jack imagine doing this? I mean technically and.. just… generally???? How Jack plans to marry a woman he doesn't care about (with potential sex? children????) and at the same time follow Boss's orders, while being, you know, himself??? Not to mention that there is a whole ass person in this puzzle: Rose? And I'm not even mentioning Grandma, who is not stupid - how will she feel knowing that Jack literally sold himself for her health? From Jack's words in this episode, I gather that he is more or less aware of Joke's feelings. And I'm a little upset about the fact that Jack hurts him so much, knowing this. And his "noble motives" do not excuse him, because Jack leaves scorched earth behind him, destroys people around him and HIMSELF. And it will get even worse, because there will be no way out of this situation, in which he is digging himself deeper and deeper, which is what Joke was trying to tell him. Jack does something I particularly hate: he "sacrifices himself nobly" but he is really selfish in this sacrifice, because he doesn't ask if anyone actually wants his sacrifice it's The Sign all over again, fuck. And the fact that he does all this alone, officially, to protect his loved ones, shows that he really doesn't trust those close to him, that they can either help him, or that they could decide for themselves. And although I don't like Rose, Jack is ready to marry her without love, for his benefits, which is... suddenly not so noble, right Jack?

I know that all this is the law of slightly exaggerated TV romances, because if Jack had trusted Joke and his grandma and talked to them, maybe together they would have figured out another way to get money for her treatment, but then again, there wouldn't have been all this drama 🙄

But Jack didn't even try.

And he's really getting to the point where even if he wanted to stop, he wouldn't be able to, and even if he somehow managed to, there would be nothing to save, because everyone would be too hurt by him to forgive him. And he's so blinded by fear and the belief that he's doing the right thing that he doesn't even see it.

The approach of Save, Jack and Joke to situations when they feel they have no choice is very interesting. Save sacrifices others without hesitation, Jack sacrifices himself (consciously) and others (unconsciously), Joke sacrifices himself. Joke is truly selfless in all of this, because he is able to humiliate himself in front of his father for someone he cares about, work for pennies, but legally, as Jack wants, when things are very bad, he still feels duty towards the grandma - a person, who was kind to him. Whatever he does, he's alone in it, he doesn't involve others, any harm falls only on him. Apart from that, he blames himself for everything...

...........

Despite everything that the series has shown in tis ep, and which I actively hate, I cannot but praise the series for a few things:

the actors gave it their all in this episode, especially in the micro-expressions on the faces of Jack, Joke and Save, when you can see that they are trying to hide what they are going through

as always, I have to praise the incredibly accurate socio-political-economic background of the series. That there is always a bigger shark in the pool, the total detachment from reality of the rich and that they do NOT WANT to know this reality and that they don't really care. How easily the poor fall into a spiral of debt, a system of dependency, passivity caused by constantly hitting a wall and helplessness in the face of constant adversity (how Jack did not even consider other methods of obtaining money, but went straight to Boss)

that in reality it's so easy to manipulate the poor, who ultimately harm themselves and each other, which is exploited by the elites. The elites know that it's enough to set people against each other and they will jump at each other's throats, doing all the dirty work for them, while they feast on exquisite dishes in beautiful interiors, in expensive clothes. Tattoo, Save, even Jack, do what is expected of them on their own, and their actions negatively affect… themselves and people like them. This is a very brutal and gloomy conclusion to this series, unfortunately also very realistic. Because the rich, the elites know that a divided, depressed society that lives in fear is easier to manipulata and control. Becasue if Jack, Joke, Tattoo, Hoy, Save and Hope joined forces, they would probably be able to oppose Boss, to come up with something for themselves. And so from the beginning we see how their various selfish actions throw themselves and others like them under the bus. Because really, as sad and awful as it may sound, neither Boss nor even Rose could have done anything if not for the significant "help" from Tattoo and Save

the unexpected, but weirdly compelling het ship 😆

Finally, the most beautiful scene. I really appreciate the choice of shots in this scene, especially when only the hands are framed and the focus is on them, without showing the face… 💖

Why can't they be like this all the time 🥺

[writeronartblock]

(spoilers to Oshi no Ko chapter 161 under the cut)

...what the fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?!

WHAT THE FUCK!!?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!??!

AQUA YOU STUPID STUPID BOY! HOW DARE YOU? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?! I'VE BEEN ROOTING FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY, AND YOU DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE!! YEAH YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOURSELF AND CAN'T FIND IN WITHIN YOURSELF TO PICTURE A GREAT FUTURE YOU COULD AND FRANKLY ALREADY SHAPING UP TO HAVE! YOU AND YOUR STUPID COMPLEX! YOUR STUPID INFERIORITY, SAVIOUR COMPLEX YOU!!

AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

(full rant in the tags)

[kyeomkuppie]

Damn it!

Pairing: Seungcheol x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, a little angsty

Synopsis: In which he cried in front of you for the first time.

"Cheol?"

Your boyfriend always yelled out "I'm home!" Whenever he was back from work, but today you just heard the sound of the door being slammed shut.

You go outside of your shared bedroom to check on him, only to find him sitting alone in the corner of the living room, crouched down and knees to his chest. His head rested on both of his knees and he didn't make a single sound which automatically sent a signal to your brain. Something is wrong.

"Cheol? Why are you there love?" He raised his head at the sound of your voice. You rushed to him and crouched down to meet his eye level.

He shook his head and exhaled sharply "jus' feeling under the weather." he murmured.

Now this was strange, no matter how upset he was he always came to you for cuddles and kisses to sooth his worries, but now he was all alone in a corner.

"What happened baby?" You carress his hair gently waiting for an answer.

"I had an argument with the members and I..." He sighed "Things got too heated and I said things I didn't mean." You could see the pain all over his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were poutier and strangely enough, his eyes were glossy.

"I screwed up and I-"

"I won't allow you to finish that sentence. Yes, you may have made a mistake, everyone makes them," you grabbed his face with both of your hands, forcing him to look you in the eyes "But even if you've made a thousand, I'm sure they'd know you didn't mean it, okay?"

His eyes kept getting glossier and his vision was becoming more unclear. "You're not only a great leader Cheollie, you're a great friend and I'm sure they know that and— I know you're stressed and everything is too much at the moment but I'm here for you. Always."

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, bringing him closer to your chest. It was hard, really hard to try to hold it in especially when you warmly embraced him at a time he thought he was all alone.

"Don't you ever think of carrying your burdens alone again, hm?" Your eyes widenened as you felt hot tears staining your shirt.

It was the first time he has ever cried in front of you. Silence engulfed the room as you patted his back.

"Damn it!"

Hm? You didn't know why he was suddenly frustrated but all you wanted was to provide him the comfort you felt when you were with him every single moment.

"God this is so embarrassing." He sniffled "I didn't want to cry, especially in front of you."

"Let it all out love, it's never embarrassing to cry, hm?"

"God I love you too damn much." He hugged you even tighter, burying his head into the crook of your neck.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[ambrosiagourmet]

In chapter 28, Marcille lays out why the journey she's been on has been worth the pain: because they were able to bring Falin back. The injuries, the indignity, and the mess of it all - they are tolerable primarily in context of destination she believes she's reached at this point.

In truth, of course, the story is far from finished. In fact, I would argue that this is actually where hers really starts. This scene holds the seed of the very thing the Winged Lion will exploit to lead Marcille to become the Lord of the Dungeon. After all, with a desire as far reaching and deeply held as Marcille's, if the only acceptable outcome is success, what other choice does she have but to bargain with the infinite?

So let's talk about this idea - where it leads her, how Laios' path intersects with it, and how they both help each other move forward in the face of failure.

First though, I want to step back and talk about something else: the shapeshifter chapters.

With these chapters recently covered by the anime, there has, of course, come plenty of fun discussions about which version of each character belongs which other character's perceptions, and what that means.

One thing I've seen pointed out a few times is the fact that both Laios and Marcille's impressions of each other are based around Falin. Marcille's version of Laios is larger and more masculine, because those are the traits that stuck out to her in contrast to Falin. Laios' version of Marcille was directly inspired by her appearance and demeanor when resurrecting Falin.

So why is this important to a discussion about Marcille being focused on success? Well, it shows us where Laios and Marcille's relationship starts: built primarily around their shared love for Falin. It's from that shared beginning that they begin to learn about each other on their own terms.

And this is true for the whole group, to be clear. They are united by circumstance - love for a lost companion, a sense of responsibility, a desire for freedom - but they all grow and help each other beyond that circumstance. They help Senshi bury the ghosts of his past and eat some Hippogriff stew. They help Izutsumi open up to mutual love and friendship. And they learn so much about each other: about Chilchuck's family and Laios' love of monsters and Marcille's desires to live life alongside others.

In the particular case of Marcille and Laios, understanding each other is what lets them save each other. It is not through Falin that Laios talks Marcille down from the edge the Lion has brought her to, nor is it through her that Marcille comforts Laios after the demon is defeated, when it is still unclear how everything will work out.

In fact, it is very specifically the unknown fate of Falin that Marcille comforts him about.

She is willing to accept the outcome - willing, now, to embrace the journey itself, rather than only accepting it as a means to an end.

This is a lesson she learns from Laios, and it's a lesson we watch Laios learn, too.

Just before making her deal with the Lion, Marcille recalls everything that led her to that moment. She lingers on the pain, recalling the worst of their journey:

She only pushes through by remembering her goals: saving Falin, and equalizing the lifespans of her friends to match her own.

And yet, 10 chapters later, when reflecting on why she actually wants to see her goals through, it is the good parts of that very same journey that shine through.

There's an inherent contradiction here, one which Marcille doesn't know how to face. How can the suffering that she tolerates also be the love that drives her forward? How can the loss that she's worked so hard to reverse also be the very circumstance that created a world she, now, cannot stand to give up?

And Laios confronts her with the truth. Because it just is.

Losing Falin forced him to open up to others in a way he never had. It forced him to choose what he cares about, and in making that choice, it gave him the opportunity to be seen. To connect with others.

He has already had to come to terms with the fact that Falin's death has given him something - he would not have been able to kill her again if he hadn't.

There is something here that is fundamental to Dungeon Meshi's understanding of what life even is. Like, I don't think it's a coincidence that part of Laios' speech to Marcille in chapter 85 is actually first seen in the chapter where they fight off ghosts.

In 'Sorbet,' while possessed , Laios thinks that it would have been better if the dragon had eaten him, instead of Falin. The ghosts make people lose their will to live - they are dragged away from life.

When he's pulled back from that brink, Laios realizes that he can't move forward without accepting that she is gone. He even compares the way he was holding on to her to being possessed: it pulled him away from life, from the present moment.

To carry on, he must accept what has been lost, and focus on protecting the life that they still have.

Like Marcille, he has to accept the contradictions of their journey. That life means eating, and eating requires death. That sometimes one must be selfish in order to be kind, and that selflessness can easily be twisted into to cruelty.

That loss will, inevitably, lead you to find happiness that you may not have found otherwise.

This is how he gets through to Marcille. And I think part of the reason he reaches her with these specific ideas is because those contradictions are baked so thoroughly into their relationship.

Marcille only met Falin after she had been left behind by Laios. Laios was able to reconnect with Falin because she left Marcille. They both met each other through Falin, and yet they only really got to know and care for one another after she died.

And of course, that's why Marcille uses the same ideas to comfort Laios, in the final chapter. It is because of Laios that she is able to accept the journey for itself, and not need the happy ending to justify its meaning to her.

Together, they help each other move forward, and accept that they may not be able to bring Falin back.

Which, if I'm being honest... I think this is the reason Falin can come back, narratively speaking, without the resurrection feeling like it takes away from the themes of the story.

After all, she doesn't do it for Marcille or Laios - she does it for her own sake. Her own hunger and her own desire to eat are the things that lead her back to life.

All three of them, together, end the story like this: not clinging to the things they are afraid to lose, but knowing they can choose to move forward together.

And, importantly, this happy ending is no longer the thing that gives the journey meaning. Rather, it is the privilege of the journey itself that is her happy ending: the chance to walk alongside others in the time they have, to get to know each other, and to eat well.

[etherfabric]

Messages from Your Protector

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

Pile 1

The Fool, The Moon rx

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Oh my dear. I see how scared you are. I know this is nothing like anything before. But somehow also exactly like the thing you were running from your whole life. I know how unclear everything seems. How uncertain. You don't dare to move one inch.

Let me tell you now: The inch is enough. And you can take all the time you need. You can't see that from where you are, but from where I am, I can tell that time isn't important. Not at all. It doesn't make sense to you, nothing lately really does. All you had was your mind to rely on, and it's slipping away from you in ways you tried to avoid your whole life. They called you crazy, a liar, a drama queen. So you swore to always pay attention to the exterior, and only stick to the hard facts, to never be accused of that again.

And now suddenly everything turns to smoke. Nothing solid, no foundation to lean on, no former structure you recognize.

You might feel doomed, cursed, imprisoned. Imprisoned in something only you can see and feel, and not even those sensory informations seems reliable. Let me tell you, my precious lightbeam: This is your initiation. It is not for nothing. Far from it.

Not everyone is called to do this, and those who are, rarely feel "good" (in the former sense of the word) during it. It's one of the highest gifts the Universe can bestow upon you, but the process of shedding and rebuilding has phases of liminality that can't be skipped. You ask why this is happening? So you have only one thing left to use and turn to, so it becomes stronger than ever: Your faith. That crazy, invisible, unprovable thing you felt your whole life and ran from. Now it's your last resort. It seems cruel, but once you allow yourself to fully embrace it, be assured, we will bathe you in light and miracles that will carry you across this abyss. Just ask. Invite us, and we will come. The famous leap of faith is your only means of transportation right now, so to speak.

We love you so, so much. And honestly, you are doing amazing already. On our plane, your light is shining brighter than ever. We were never this close to you, and we love it. We know it doesn't feel this way all the time for you, but please listen to your intuition more. It's there to help you, not harm you. Those that judged you anytime you acted upon it are on their own, separate path. Don't let them sway you. Deep inside, you know it's something big and important, what is happening right now. You are doing amazing. We love you so much. I can't say it enough. You will get through this and be thankful. Later. Maybe you can find a smidge of that gratitude now. When you let your true opinion arise within, and dare to listen.

Pile 2

7 of Pentacles rx, 10 of Pentacles

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

It's already done. The seeds are planted. This is a time of winding down, breathing in what you already have, let it enrich and nourish you. No one will come and take it away, claiming you are "too lazy" or "ungrateful" to "deserve it". Who told you this? Don't you know they were talking to themselves? To their own shadow, which they cast upon you, to not be blinded by your light? My dearest soul star. Can't you feel it, behind the worry and fear, underneath it all - the hum of completion? It surrounds you, it permeates the space between your atoms, it carries you across this cosmos.

Just imagine this gigantic planet you sit upon, its own attraction to you keeping you grounded. You belong here. You deserve everything that Life gave you. You deserve everything you worked for, and also everything you never worked for and just have, AND you deserve everything that is to come. Oh, there is a lot to come. So many blessings. You don't know even half if it yet. And that's exactly how it's supposed to be.

We don't want you to be exhausted from worry when we bring it to you. We want you to be soft and open, so it can touch your inner being - the only place where true satisfaction can take place. Look around you. The room you are in, or the environment you reside in for now. All this exists at the same time as you. Isn't that proof enough? Who else should it be for? Dare to connect to it, through whatever means sound right. Dare to delve into it. Dare to lay your hands on it, smell it, taste it, observe it, hear it. Draw pictures of it, in your mind, on a canvas, in the dirt on the ground. You are a part of all of it. You are part of the world to everyone else!

The time it takes to get you there is meant for you to enjoy what you have so far. Things will change, and the present will be another shape than the current one. So enjoy it while it lasts, until the upgrade arrives. Remember how desperate the past version of you was for so many of these circumstances? Get back in touch with them to feel their bliss and satisfaction. They are always there to help you. All the versions of you, past, present and future. They all love you in their own way, and they all are connected to you and bring their talents and wisdom as soon as you let them speak. This can be in a dream, a song, a memory, a word you read somewhere that tugs at you. Maybe a smell, or a name. Follow the thread, make space for the unraveling, and be assured we are always protecting you from what could truly be harmful. Nothing you can't take.

Admittedly, our relationship to pain is a rather abstract one compared to your incarnated self - so apologies for sounding aloof - but it carries deep truths, and is never the whole story. Promised. It will pass. You are doing so well. We love you so much more than you can imagine. For now. Soon, you will have a better idea. If you ever need our help, just call us. However feels most authentic. A thought is enough. Then listen for our signs, and dare to believe them, just like we believe in you.

Pile 3

The Star, Knight of Wands

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

We are sending you support on all dimensions. You won't see it coming. It won't look like it moments before the event (or several events...) and you will be close to giving up on hope. The rhythm of the recent days was just the "right" wrong mixture of stagnation and overwhelming, sudden changes, and you are exhausted. You have lost things that you held very, very close to your heart, and you thought they belonged to your destiny.

Memories, associations, dreams, fragments of what is lost haunt you, and you try so desperately to make it fit into the picture. Sure this mean it will come back...? Well. Yes and No. Yes on the spiritual, emotional, ethereal plane - what you felt with them is just an appetizer compared to what's to come. It's a manifestation upgraded tenfold. But no, it won't be them exactly. I am so sorry for your pain - but I am not sorry for the context in which this loss happened, because I see the purpose it serves clear as day. You have to wait and see for it to unfold before your very eyes (at least the first two of them), and many fears and worries birthed from past disappointments will pop up.

Don't read those as prophecies - they are asking to be purged! So the canvas is clear for your upcoming masterpiece. It will happen at just the right time. It's not going anywhere. It is yours, and it will wait until you are ready. Promised. Your pace is just the right pace. Listen to your emotions, as untamable they might seem at times. Learn to dance with them, instead of fighting against them, and be it just one intentional second for starters. Your limits are there for a reason, and no one wants you to hurt yourself unnecessarily in the process. You deserve the reassurance and patience you need, and we hold that frequency towards you all the time.

There are judgements from people from your past still attached to what you deem true, and to which you assigned great meaning and weight in how you should be treated by the Universe, and all the people in it. You don't dare to go near them - they bite back. Like a wounded animal. Let's see how gentle you can go with them. We assure you, they will calm down as soon as they know you mean no harm. As soon as they feel you have the same patience and reassurance avaible for them you deserve. Watch the alchemy unfold, and bask in your accomplishments. This is the stuff transformation is made of. We are so freaking proud of you!

Pile 4

The Hermit, The Moon

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

What you bring to the world is something not many will understand. We see your dedication, and be assured, you are on the path that was agreed upon before you came here. The unfolding of your inner voice is a marvelous endeavor without any witnesses, just yours to experience. You have never been so lonely and so rich in your whole life. And this is just the beginning.

We protect you from the harm that could sway you, but not the harm that can teach you. There are people around you who are blind to the light within, even scared when it shows up. They don't know what it means, at least not from their limited perspective they deem the whole truth. We see you trying to extend a helping hand, but this is our influence when they don't take it. You need all this energy for the next phase of transformation.

Your discipline and strategy so far has served you well, and we command you for your endurance. This is a whole new game, and you play it quite well. But be warned - this won't last forever. You might dream about what soon will finally be, to exchange it for what is right now. You will miss this once it's over. Not because the future is so grim - on the contrary. But because the beauty of inner transformation is not a constant or easily accessible one, and you either pay close attention to decipher the music in it now, or you will only have the tinted glass of nostalgia as a way back to it. What seems like a chore now will soon be the holder of self love when you look back on it. This might mean nothing to you, or even come across as accusatory, or threatening even.

We never mean harm. We are light. We are love. Just like you. What we want to invite you to is daring to be grateful to be you right now. This version of you won't last forever, so why not love it? Just for what it is?

That is why we send you this tsunami of solitude. So you and you can finally get a room and connect. Look each other in the eyes, deeply. And see how you are just perfect for each other, and exactly what you need and want. After all, this is what you chose. This is exactly your style. And it suits you so, so well.

[dunmesh]

laios and shuro's relationship is so important to me it's not funny anymore... the fact shuro kept believing in laios during the latter part of the manga, then searched for him after laios became a monster and defeated the winged lion- although it was unclear what exactly had become of him- is haunting me because of how it contrasts with him choosing to give up on saving falin after he saw her as a chimera. like, laios was so sure that their fight in chapter 38 was the end of their friendship while in reality it was the beginning of it in shuro's eyes. laios kept agonizing over losing the one friend he cared for the most but it's because he didn't understand the significance of that little thing he kept carrying with him in every step until the very end of the series: the bell.

shuro gave him that bell as a token of his trust in him and his love: "we grew apart and i'm no longer fit for the position by your side, but no matter how far you go, i'll be there for you when you need me". their conflict over how to deal with falin forced them to go in different directions, but despite accepting leaving falin behind, shuro couldn't bring himself to abandon laios as well. and it's no coincidence that the bell shuro gave him was the proof that laios was still alive after all that happened, or that it's what pushed mithrun and kabru to go deeper into the dungeon instead of returning to the surface (which quite literally changed the entire chain of events afterwards).

yes, shuro decided to stop pursuing falin and report her condition to the governor so she could be stopped, even at the cost of her life. he gave up on her. but the same man also defied the canaries and fought for laios without knowing how messed up things had gotten because he chose to believe in laios above all else. and that, in my opinion, solidified just how important laios became to him- more than falin's, more than his own life, it's laios's he didn't give up on.

at the very end, when he met laios again after the latter defeated the winged lion, he gave him a hug filled with the pure, unrestrained joy of seeing his first and best friend on the island alive and well. hell, i mean, it's easy to forget that shuro didn't really have anyone close to him too- and laios might very well be the first person he was this disgustingly direct and truthful with since he was a child. and when he goes back home, there won't be anyone else like laios there; his home is still the same. it's him that changed. and later on when he will recall all those years he spent on the island, he will realize how surprising it is that all the crazy stuff he witnessed don't hold a candle to the impact those few people he befriended there had on him.

of course, laios didn't realize it until then- shuro's reaction was indeed the one that surprised him the most- but at that moment he could absolutely feel how foolish he was to be so sure he will be hated and rejected after everything they went through. it's so important that it was shuro who greeted him so affectionately, after we saw laios brooding over their fight so much: it's shuro's acceptance that he was longing for the most.

with all that being said, the one last thing that drives me crazy is that the bell laios was given to use when he needed assistance most was still with him even after turning back into his human form. that tiny item he was shown to be quite careless with and yet never let go of until he wanted to be completely alone, thinking he should run away from everyone he loved; but it was too late, his friend already heard his cry for help.

and they all answered.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

Today it's time for me to be heartbroken about Crowley and HIS version of events, because of course HIS version makes sense to him too.

The thing about Crowley is, he acts so nonchalant about everything.

Like, at first, he's simply just a demon. Sauntered vaguely downward and such, it's barely even really a thing, honestly -- it's just sort of his job title, y'know? Aziraphale's in one department, he's in another, that's just how it is. Like satanists, right?

But then the more the story progresses, the more we get the sense that there's something deeper than that. It becomes especially apparent with his plants, and how he puts the fear of God (then corrected by the narrator: the fear of Crowley) in them.

And these scenes, as many of you well know, have been theorized to be Crowley working through the circumstances of his fall. Projecting his emotions onto the plants, inflicting on them what was done to him. Processing what it was like to be on the other side of the curtain, maybe -- possibly try to figure out what could drive a creator to harm their own creations.

The details of the fall and what Crowley did, exactly, are unclear. The details of what Crowley knows about his own fall are unclear, because evidence could suggest that maybe he doesn't remember. But his perception seems to be that it didn't take much to be a demon.

What he does know, is that nothing lasts forever -- not even the grace of God.

But Aziraphale is different.

Aziraphale is an angel with very black-and-white ideas of what it means to be an angel, and what it means to be a demon.

But Crowley sees through it. From giving away the sword alone, he sees the cracks in Aziraphale's rigid thinking that allows the light to shine through. And he chips and he chips at that thinking -- he asks the kind of questions that probably made him fall in the first place -- until finally we get here.

God saw Crowley at his most innocent. God saw Crowley at his most joyful state of being. God saw him at his holiest.

God heard his questions, likely knowing that Crowley was expressing love in the way that he would want to receive it. Crowley says, "Well, if I was the one running it all, I would like it if someone asked questions. Fresh point of view."

God knew all of this, and then cast him out anyway. Unforgivable, that's what he is. Not to be forgiven, ever. Not to be loved -- not by God.

Then here comes along this angel (who he may or may not remember). This angel knows he's a demon, and talks to him anyway. This angel knows he's a demon, and listens to what he has to say. This angel knows he's a demon, and still looks him in the eye, sees the good in him, and forcefully tells him that HE still sees the good in him, even when God refuses to.

Aziraphale sees everything in Crowley that God could not, and that is something Crowley thought was lost forever.

So it only makes sense that when Aziraphale first burst in with his words all aflutter at the idea that they were going to go back to Heaven and change everything, Crowley felt this was something they couldn't do. Because he understands better than anyone, Heaven has the power to change the angel, the angel does not have the power to change Heaven.

It makes sense that Crowley gave him a chance. Crowley didn't exactly erupt with rage at Aziraphale. Yes, he was loudly against the idea and very disappointed, but then he goes, "Oh. Oh God. Right. Okay. I didn't get a chance to say what I was going to say, I better say it now."

He still thinks there's a chance. He's still giving Aziraphale a chance to back out.

He gives Aziraphale multiple chances. And every time Aziraphale will not back down. Every time, he thinks he hears the same message. The one he's always heard, the one he should know by now but somehow still hopes it isn't true.

Nothing lasts forever.

Not the universal star machine.

Not the grace of God.

Not the bookshop.

Not my acceptance of who you are.

Not us.

He doesn't hear the way Aziraphale remembers his joy and wants him to be happy. He doesn't hear how Aziraphale wants him and needs him and begs for him to be on his side. He doesn't hear the hope and the desire to be safe and together and in control -- forever.

He doesn't hear the way Aziraphale is lying to himself because we all know damn well he would live in a state of comfortable happiness if he could.

Instead, he hears this.

He hears that he is in need of forgiveness. He hears that he has done something to warrant it.

Only, he is unforgivable. Nothing lasts forever, but maybe that part does. Out of everything that never lasted, the one that did is that he is unforgivable the way that he is.

"Don't bother," he says.

Don't bother, because he doesn't hear Aziraphale, he hears God.

Don't bother, because maybe God was right.

[slutforfictionalwomen]

New things

Kinktober day 16

Wanda M x Natasha R x Fem Reader

Main kinks: Bondage, hypno kink.

Word count: 1,7K

Summary: You've been in a dom/sub relationship with two dominant women for a year, when they decide they want to level things up a bit.

Warnings: Smut, dom/sub, bdsm, bondage, pet names, hypnosis, cunnilingus, strap on use, use of vibrator, playroom, rough sex, hair pulling.

A/N: This is not the accurate representation of hypnosis. This is more like a mix with Wanda's power.

Your dominant Natasha doesn't often invite you to her office. But yesterday, she told you there was something she and your other dominatrix, Wanda, wanted to speak to you about. Since it was a bit secretive, it sparked excitement in you. You know they love you too much to dump you, so it can't really be anything bad that is going to happen.

You got dressed in the dark purple dress Wanda picked out for you. You probably wouldn't have chosen it for yourself, but when you tried it on for Wanda, you thought it suited you. Wanda put a bit on top of that, saying you looked like the cutest little plaything in it, only for her and Natasha.

You put on the expensive Docs Natasha insisted on buying you. You once said you thought they were pretty, then you saw the price tag and immediately said they were way too expensive. Natasha said she didn't mind the price, but you didn't want her to spend all that money on you. She then bought them after threatening to punish you if you kept up the back talk.

You look at your final outfit in the mirror. You put on some eyeliner and mascara earlier, but that's it. You know your girlfriends prefer you without any concealer or foundation, your unclear skin makes you look more youthful, which they somehow like. You decide that you look fine. It's time to meet them.

~

You receive a tight 'yes' when you knock on the door of Natasha's office. You walk in to see your partners sitting at Natasha's desk, Wanda has her usual tea and Natasha her coffee. "Hey," you greet them with a smile whilst sitting down.

"Good evening, pretty girl," Wanda says, pushing a few documents over to you and gently grazing your fingers when she can.

"We've been in this relationship and dynamic for a year today, we thought it was about time to renew the contract we made to keep boundaries clear," your other dominant speaks. She speaks less flirty than Wanda, as usual, but she gives you the sweetest smile.

You take a second to look at them in awe, both of them in their work suits, and you in your pretty little dress. "Okay, so I just.. fill this in?" Immediately after asking, you receive a nod from both. You pic up the pen they put down for you and start thoroughly reading and filling in the documents.

~

You're almost done, but at the last one, you start questioning it. Hypnosis. Last time, you said no. It was your first time being in this type of relationship and put hypnosis as a hard limit. This time, you're curious. You want to experiment.

Wanda seems to notice your struggle. "What's wrong, dear?" She gives you a kind smile, willing to explain anything to you.

"What do you mean by hypnosis exactly?" You look up at them and point at the word. Wanda and Natasha share a quick look, then Natasha starts speaking.

"Hypnosis is often used in the bdsm scene for multiple reasons. Wanda has the ability to hypnotise people very easily, which makes this one we are very interested in trying. Would you like to try?" Natasha quickly explains it.

You look at them, then back at the paper, then back at them. Wanda gives you the sweetest smile. She would never hurt you. You trust her. "I'll try it."

~

At Halloween night, when the kids have stopped coming by the door and have probably all gone to bed, Natasha in her cop costume puts her handcuffs on you after randjmly asking if you could. You then realise they are not the usual handcuffs for a cop costume, but your actual own leather playroom handcuffs.

"What is this all about?" You ask Natasha as she guides you to the play room, where she and Wanda have all the tools. When you think of Wanda, you come to the thought that you don't know where she has gone.

"It's all part of the plan, baby." Natasha gets you on the bed, facing up. She clicks the handcuffs to the special designed headboard, and you naturally start tugging on it.

Wanda comes in, still wearing her witchy costume, though she always dresses a bit witchy. Your black cat costume, which they picked out for you, finishes it all off.

"Okay baby, I want to hypnotise you, but you have to fully consent to it. You also have to do what I say for me to be able to put you under hypnosis in the first place. What do you say to that?" Wanda kisses your forehead, another sign that you are safe with her.

"That's okay, mommy. I like the idea and I will listen." You reply in the best way possible, trying not to seem nervous.

"That's a good girl, just do what I say. First relax, get into a comfortable position, and close your eyes." You do exactly what she says, allowing for this to begin.

~

It took a lot of listening and relaxing, but Wanda finally got you into a hypnotised state. You instantly love the feeling of fully giving up control in a literal way. It feels somehow hazy.

Natasha takes off your handcuffs, so you are basically free to go, but you aren't. Something is holding you back. Something is between the signals from your brain to your arms, which means you are not putting them down next to you.

"Put your arms down, love," Wanda says, and immediately, you are able to put them down beside you. "Now get up and strip."

Again, you do what she says. You try resisting a bit, but you really can't. You take off your top, then your skirt and thights.

"Make her sit down and take her underwear off, then spread her legs to show us her wet pussy." Natasha is standing behind Wanda, her hands on the other woman's waist and her mouth by her ear.

Wanda visibly shivers but goes through with it. "You heard her, sit down. First your bra, then your pretty undies."

Said and done. You sit down to give them the show they want. Your pussy is dripping wet, Natasha audibly moans at the sight, coming to get a closer look.

"I'm having too much fun with this, Natty." Wanda looks at Natasha, pouting. She then turns her attention back to you. "Let's try something. On the floor. Ten sit-ups, I want to see your legs wide."

You didn't know what to expect, but it most certainly wasn't this. You don't want to do this. It's humiliating. You can't resist the force, and so you start doing the sit-ups she told you to do.

After doing ten, you see Wanda and Natasha looking at your pussy with amused expressions. It makes you blush.

"Wands, I can't wait any longer." Natasha poles Wanda, then starts taking off her outfit, only keeping on her black lingerie.

You feel the force to get up before Wanda speaks. "Sit down on that bench, legs wide." When you sit down like she told you to, she sits down on your side and starts kissing you.

Captured in the kiss, you didn't notice Natasha kneeling down to start licking your pussy. She starts off with kitten licks but soon goes into a pattern of sucking and licking and sometimes nibbling. You can tell she enjoys it from her noises.

Wanda chuckles when she notices your effort to try and close your legs around your mistresses head, but obviously failing due to the hypnosis. Natasha starts to add pushing her tongue into your aching hole to the rhythm, which makes you even more desperate and loud into your snogging session with Wanda.

When you are really close and almost there, Natasha pulls away, and the hypnosis is being lifted. Wanda also stops kissing you, delivering a soft kiss to your forehead.

"Whyyyy," you whine out in frustration. Wanda is now leading you back to the bed. Natasha again accompanies her. She is now wearing your favourite strap and back to putting handcuffs on you. This time, you get pushed onto the bed facing the mattress, and the clip of the handcuffs is detached to the headboard.

"Because this is part of the plan. Ass up," Natasha commands you. When you disobey, because you can now that you're out of hypnosis, you receive a hard smack.

When you do as Natasha says, Wanda lies down beside you in a way that she has a view on your pussy. You can see her bringing up a wand vibrator, the only warning before it's being turned on and pressed against your dripping cunt.

After a minute of Wanda drawing moans from you with the wand vibrator, Natasha joins in, thrusting her strap into you. Your mistress immediately goes deep, setting up a nice pace.

When you mewl at the intensity, Natasha decides you grab your hair and pull your head back, fucking into you harder. She chuckles at the cat eats you're still wearing from the costume, and her hand goes to wander over your bare tits. You're gorgeous, just their plaything. Even without the hypnosis, you do anything they tell you to do.

"Mommy!" You suddenly scream out when Wanda turns up the vibrator to the highest level. Natasha sees this as a sign to pound into you even harder.

"Are you close yet?" Wanda asks in the most seductive voice you have ever heard from her. You had been close for what felt like ages, but you somehow didn't care to say it.

"Yes, mommy. So close." You whine out. Your legs start to tremble. You have to try hard to keep yourself up.

"Do you want to cum for us, sweety?" Natasha's voice is dark as always, the most sadistic one of the two. Her pace keeps going up, and when you think she can't speed up anymore, she picks up the pace only last time.

"Yes, please mistress. Please let me cum!" You try to pull back from her thrusts to avoid coming without permission, but that behaviour is noticed as Natasha delivers a smack to your butt.

"Go ahead, cum for us." You don't even recognise who said the words when the hardest orgasm you've ever had races through you. One moment, you were cumming hard. The next, you went completely black.

[haladriel]

‘If you like this show, first of all thank you for watching, second of all, oh my god, we love that you like it.

‘It is built — there is so much love on behalf of so many hundreds of people for this material, for these characters, for these worlds — it is hopefully built in a way that it gets better if you watch it again.

‘A lot of times things that seem unclear, like, there’s an answer there but it’s just a glancing blow. We’re really trusting our audience and we’re trusting that our audience can pay attention to little things and they don’t need it spoon-fed. And I think sometimes maybe that works against us. But I think for people who like the show, I think there is something there to go back for and we work really hard to build that in there, that’s what we like as viewers, we like things that get better when you watch them a second time.

‘My favourite records are records that the first time I [hear] them I’m not sure what to make of it. Then I go back to it, and I go back to it and go back to it, and we work really really hard, hundreds of people work really really hard to make this a show that rewards that kind of attention and that can also mean that on first viewing it can be overwhelming. ‘Who’s that again?’

But we like things like that because we have to work harder and that means there’s a greater love you can get to, and if anyone ever feels that way about this show it would be our greatest, greatest aspiration.’

— Patrick McKay, co-creator, The Rings of Power

(Empire Film Podcast recording | Finsbury Park Picturehouse | London | 3 October 2024)

[a-little-ray-of-fantasy]

Barnaby facts (confirmed by the devs)

Hello! Since I was bored and it's making me so happy to see Barnaby getting so much love lately, I've decided to collect all the info I have about him! I most likely missed something, so if you have info I haven't put here, or got wrong, let me know, ok? ^^

Anyhoo, here we go! **}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Barnaby, despite his name, is not a barn owl. He's actually a long eared owl.

- Barnaby isn't his real name; he used to have a different one, back in his alive days. One of the drawings featuring him has him surrounded by many names starting with "B".

- Said illustration has "Who am I?" hidden among the names and words such as "Where" and "Help", hinting at something linked to his identity is torturing him.

- It's been stated that Barnaby is the way he is because of a dangerous experiment that corrupted then killed him, changing him completely as a result.

- Barnaby is asexual homoromantic, and is genderfluid: while he goes primarly by "he/him", he accepts any pronoun.

- He considers his Barnaboos as his "little pretties", and often offers help or advice if they need it; of course, his help may not be as helpful as he believes...

- He hates cheesecake.

- He's not a fan of rootbeer neither; he will serve it in his parties, but he personally won't drink it.

- His favorite food is eye scream, and favorite Halloween treat are caramel apples.

- As for ice cream, his favorite flavor is Strawberry Shortcake.

- Speaking of food, yeah, he doesn't need to eat, nor sleep. But still likes doing it anyway.

- Barnaby is a confirmed sleepyhead. He naps a lot, but never in an ordinary position, or in his bed; he tends to sleep in various gravity bending position, especially upside down.

- Meaning, yes, when Billie comes to steal his gem, he was sleeping!

- And when he sleeps, he apparently snores and hoots.

- While hugging him would result in a kill from him, Ash confirmed Barnaby is a hugger! Hugging him would still involve him squeezing or stabbing you to death, tho'. And he'd feel both soft and slimy to the touch.

- Barnaby is around 10-11ft tall, and with his size-shifting abilities, he can be any height he wants; when he was alive tho', he's as tall as Aristotle, more or less.

- He doesn't need glasses anymore, but sometimes will wear them because they make him look smart. They also tend to follow the eyes' movements.

- Barnaby is very emotional: while it won't stop him from trying to kill you, he will cry if he sees you cry. Ironically, he would comfort you until you feel better. Then he'll kill you.

- It's been confirmed that Barnaby's biggest fear has "already come true".

- His tears are orange, just like his eyes.

- Barnaby is not one to open his heart easily, but the moment he does, there's many ways to reach it. He's quite romantic, tho' not in the usual way: if you gave him a dead rat, he'd consider it a very romantic gesture!

- It's been stated he doesn't have a partner now, but in life, "maybe".

- When it comes to children, it's been confirmed he'd be the best caregiver alongside Dutch, althought for him "it's complicated".

- He apparently had a child of his own, if the picture posted about him during "Father's Day" is any indication. What happened to the little one hasn't been revealed yet.

- Apparently he's the least judgemental character in BBU!

- If he had a TV, it'd be old timey, and he'd watch something really random. Like ducks.

- Barnaby loves small critters; Ash specifically mentions they always linked him with guinea pigs. And indeed, Barnaby had a science guinea pig co-worker once, that turned into an actual guinea pig because of a reckless experiment, and he took care of them.

- He's able to control reality; it's unclear if it's his gem's doing, or his magic power as a ghost.

- In any case, he's now the most powerful character in the game

- Back in his alive days, he was a magic researcher and scientist.

- He actually owned the gem before he turned into a ghost. He even experimented on it, and it's suggested that actually sealed his fate.

- A lot of songs from Oingo Boingo and Lemon Demon fit him: Ash specifically mentioned "Weird Science" as really "Barnabycore"

- Barnaby is autistic: he stims by hooting and flapping his wings when he's excited.

- When he's scared or nervous, he tends to cover himself with his wings.

- Katie said that, if he were a candy, he'd be a sour blueberry.

- Barnaby lives in his own dimension, with his own mansion and everything. And he can travel between realities. Although one comment from Katie suggests he's trapped in there, but it's too early to say for sure.

- According to the devs, he was inspired by Weird Al Yankovic, Lewis from Mystery Skulls and Discord from MLP.

- No, he wasn't inspired by Snatcher, since the development of BBU has lasted longer than A Hat in Time. The two of them canonically know each other tho': only problem is, Snatcher hates Barnaby's guts and finds him too clingy, while the owl adores him.

- He canonically knows Wally Darling from "Welcome Home" and Kira from "Far Fetched" too, since he can travel between realities.

- Barnaby has his guests come to his home by portals that pop just below them. He apparently has kidnapped people before, every once in a while.

- He'd get along well with Dutch.

- It's left vague whether he knows Fantoccio or not.

- He actually has never met Arthur nor Aristotle before the game.

- In any case, he'd find Aristotle really funny, and wouldn't take them seriously.

-- Barnaby is aware of the player, and can break the 4th wall. And that's why only he can use Twitter.

- Whenever he writes on Twitter, hE WRiTSE LIkE THIS!!!

- Barnaby is REALLY mischeavous, and finds no problem in cheating in games. But if YOU cheat, then he gets ticked off.

- This suggests he's also a sore loser.

- Judging by his expression in the cutscene, he doesn't like being interrupted.

- It's been confirmed he smells like meldew. :P

- He could fake glitching out, then attack the moment you come to check out what's going on with him.

- He HATES party crashers. Also scarecrows: not good for conversations. And he's not interested in their crops.

- He can play the organ: Katie even suggested that if you hear it in the background of his chapter, that's him playing it.

- He was a young prodigy, back when he was alive!

- Don't be fooled by his goofy antics: he's very smart, still loves making experiments and can speak a lot of languages.

- Ironically, he hates skulls: he finds them icky.

- He was 25-26 when he died; he's been dead for 100+ years.

- Time is very important for him: that's why there's so many clocks in his parlor. It's been suggested he sees partying as a way to keep track with time.

- Despite that, Barnaby himself in the contest video has briefly stated he tends to forget what year it is.

- There's tons of pictures in his manor: all of them depict him, suggesting he's good at painting.

- Katie has noted that Barnaby "remembers everything". When asked if there's something he'd rather forget, they stated that "what he wants and what he needs are very different things".

- His family is "infinite", apparently. Then again, one of his very early descriptions stated he's got no friends nor family to speak about...

- He's been described as "self interested"

- When asked which character had the most trauma, without giving hints about being traumatized, Katie confirmed Barnaby as the answer, even stating his story makes them the saddest, alongside Fanto's.

- His favorite color is pink!

- He can change himself into lots of animals, and can even clone himself!

- When asked if he can talk to his alive self, Katie said it's "technically possible".

- Back when he was alive, he was noted as a dork and a hardworker, so much so he'd even pull one-nighters before making speeches for his research. Katie jokingly suggested that's why he parties so much: it's to make up for lost time!

- He had a different way of speaking, back when he was alive. And his icks were probably different as well.

- When he gets overwhelmed, he has a shutdown, and goes completely silent.

- At early stages, Barnaby was supposed to be a bug.

- The moment his design as a ghost was chosen, he went through a lot of palette options, like a pale blue color like he came from "The Haunted Mansion", or all colorful like "Dia de los Muertos". Ultimately they settled for his currently shadowy look because, not only it's easier to animate, it was in line with his backstory.

- Barnaby can melt. It's still unclear what triggers such a reaction, but some pictures hint that it's tied to his psychological state.

- Barnaby has been noted that he can talk fancy, but he's not eloquent.

- His favorite dance is the charleston!

- Ash has stated that in the game he is going to be depicted doing something similiar to "singing himself to sleep".

- Apparently he still makes pellets from his mouth. Dead or not, he's still an owl.

- He often puts emphasis on words, sometimes even making his bowtie spin.

- In the latest Twitter post featuring him, when you decode the garbled message, you can read: "Barnaby lies Along in his thoughts, Resting On the floor Neglected". Not only this hints at his turmoil, it also hides the word "BARON". It's unclear if it's his name, a title he possessed, or someone or thing else entirely connected to him.

- He loves recieving scretches on his head.

- Barnaby can cook, but he'll more often than not leave that to the Barnaboos.

- He's not that interested in gardening, even tho' he owns a greenhouse.

- He'd enjoy playing "Luigi's Mansion"!

- In Super Smash Bros. he'd main Meta Knight, even relating to him.

- He'd happily accept smoochies, apparently!

- His favorite party game is "Pin the tail on the owl".

- If you are his friend, he'd consider it even more of a reason to stay in the manor and never leave!

- He has claimed that he's used to give himself self love and compliments, since no one else does it. That, and his tendency to ask others for hugs or if they need a hug to calm down, suggests he's affection starved.

- He tends to react to compliments from fans by smiling bashfully, or happily shouting that he's popular.

- Katie stated that his favorite movie would be something unexpected, like "Marnie & Me" or "Up".

- Barnaby can see everything from the eyes of the plushies that look like him. So, if you bought one... watch out...

- Among his early designs, he also looked like a completely different owl, tall and austere looking, who was the guardian of the forest. It was changed because the devs wanted a goofy boss that could stand out among the others.

- Having said that, it seems Barnaby was the last boss to be officially revealed, and initially the game only had Elaine, Dutch and Fantoccio as the main bosses.

- Barnaby LOVES puns. A good deal of the lines he says when you get defeated in his chase contain a pun.

- You try being slick by stating you want to die of old age? Too bad: Barnaby will make you age rapidly. Despite that, Katie confirmed he doesn't have time related powers...

- Katie and Ash confirmed Barnaby can fly. And such a sight is apparently really hilarious.

- Barnaby loves shiny trinkets: if he sees a sparkly thread, he'll fixate on it and will follow its movements. It's like with a cat following a laser.

- Barnaby has teeth; they're orange and sharp, and come out when he's ticked off, or especially devious.

- When he was alive, he only used he/him pronouns. He became comfortable with all pronouns after he died. He's always been interested in men.

- This goes without saying, but still: he operates on cartoon logic. He can use both his wings AND his feet as hands. Even both feet can act as hands, even when they appear off camera. How? Because it's Barnaby and he can do anything he sets his mind into!

[caliburn-the-sword]

the main talking point of a lot of people that love eah but bash on descendants is that "eah was deep!! descendants was just a disney knockoff that meant nothing and was just a cashgrab" SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP (to be clear i am an eah lover). analytical thoughts to follow:

consider also, that auradon is portrayed as very technologically advanced in direct opposition to the isle being associated with magic (even with its ban) and a lot of of clearly second hand, worn and torn fridges and tvs and whatever

also, the fact that she felt PRESSURED to not only culturally assimilate into auradon culture, but alter her physical appearance to assimilate further. consider mal's costuming in the first movie. on the isle, we see her with (what i assume is her natural) purple hair, leather, etc. she is even, to a degree, gender nonconforming. pretty much the ONLY time we see her in skirts is when she's trying to impress ben for her plan to work

compare this with the hair costuming in descendants 2:

(i actually can't remember which scenes the third one was in but whatever) they have taken away her sparkle!! she's assimilated firstly into auradon fashion by dressing in pastels like them, and in SKIRTS which she textually only wore in the first movie when she wanted to impress ben. now with the added context of her wanting to impress auradon. and it really speaks a lot that she feels she has to conform to gender norms more in order to be accepted by auradon

and what about hair. she's felt the need to not only change the way she dresses, but change her hair to the eurocentric standard, so blonde that it's almost WHITE to conform to auradon's society (because let's be real, her mum's a fairy/dragon and her dad is a greek god. i'd be MORE surprised if she was DYING her hair purple than it being natural). changing your natural hair in order to to conform to and be accepted by the majority... where have i heard that one before??

shoutout to @soniccat

(to be clear. it is not a one for one analogy. "hey using a spell to force someone to forget what you did is an invasion" to me is like going "well actually people were right to fear mutants in x-men because some of them were walking weapons" IT'S A METAPHOR THAT IS ALSO A PLOT DEVICE)

('backwater' being used ironically, do not let my meaning be misconstrued here. a better way to word it is that immigrants are guilttripped into having to be 'grateful' for their oppression in a first world country because microaggressions or assimilation is considered better than the alternative, being back in your home country where living conditions may be considered poorer)

in the sense that for instance, jay put a VK spin on supporting feminism. like yes, he could've done it the rulefollowing, create a petition and gather signatures route, but INSTEAD he finds and exploits an existing loophole to let lonnie join the team. or evie shouting out dizzy's creations, uplifting her voice despite the fact she could've still taken the credit since she was the one that paired the outfit with the accessories. etc

are the descendants movies objectively bad movies?? yes. but this was to me, one of the most compelling analogies for immigrant struggles. take particular notice how almost ALL the main VKs are either racebent from the original disney movies (evie, carlos, uma) or were already based on an ethnic character (mal, jay)

but wait, mal is the whitest white girl to walk the planet. how is she already based on an ethnic character?

glad you asked. it is quite unclear in the descendants movie (basing its portrayal of maleficent on the disney sleeping beauty) is a fairy or a dragon. while the maleficent movie isn't canon to the descendants universe, i'm still going to use the fact that she's a fairy with the magical ability to turn herself into a dragon

a lot fairy folklore comes from ireland. the name maleficent itself, and i quote

shares similarities to the name millicent. millicent has irish (or scottish) roots (even a coat of arms) as in

thus one could argue that maleficent herself could potentially be irish coded

whether or not you agree with the idea that maleficent is irish coded, it is undeniable that mal is the daughter of hades, a greek god. it's a shame that that was a retcon in the third movie and not planned from the start, because the role could've gone to an actually greek actress (please google the ottoman empire and greek independence day if you still think it's not fitting for me to group mal with the others)

where was i going with this?? right. it's extremely telling that most of the main/side VKs, save for gil, are ethnic, in the story of a group of misfits finding themselves in an unfamiliar country with new social norms for them to learn as they try to fit in with and become accepted by their peers

[junkissed]

behave!

member — jeonghan x f reader genre — smut word count — 2.1k synopsis — you like misbehaving, and jeonghan likes putting you in your place. even more so when you know you're being filmed. smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, mean dom jeonghan, hannie is a sadist but reader is a masochist so it works out, hate sex (spoiler: it's pretend!), heavy degredation mixed with praise, oral (reader receiving), some fingering, edging, one (1) ruined orgasm, sexual acts on camera, choking, marking, begging, spitting in reader's mouth, reader is a capital b Brat, some borderline pet play (??), maybe kinda bulge kink but only for a second, nicknames (slut, whore, bitch, puppy, angel, good girl), hannie is called sir a couple times, everything is shown to be consensual beforehand!! implied established relationship, aftercare, playful banter between hannie & reader, the ending is soft notes — this is payback for @duhnova and @onlymingyus because i love torturing you both. i wish i had more notes to say about this but i literally wrote it at 3am after i told yall i was going to sleep oopsies (also tagging @lovelyhan because you need to suffer too!!)

“smile for the camera, baby,” jeonghan grins mischievously, holding his phone in one hand as he traces his fingers over your stomach.

“fuck you, jeonghan!”

he tsks, index finger circling around your belly button. “you won’t get to, not with that attitude.”

you stay silent and give him a glare, watching as his fingers slowly travel lower, ghosting over your skin. he’s teasing, and both of you know it. but although there’s nothing you can do to stop it, you don’t even really want to.

he presses his hand flat against your stomach and automatically you let out a whimper, feeling the tension already beginning to build in your core and you’re not even halfway undressed yet. he relishes in your involuntary sounds, knowing that no matter how you pout and pretend to be angry with him and try to hide them from him, he knows your body like the back of his own hand and it won’t be long until he’s got you screaming his name.

he pushes harder and your hands grab at his wrist, unclear whether you’re trying to push him away or hold him in place to add even more pressure. you can’t help the way your legs slide further and further apart, wordlessly begging him to do more than he’s already doing, because it’s not enough.

“you feel that, baby?” he says, pressing the heel of his palm into your abdomen. “feel how empty you are?”

you keep your mouth shut, determined to continue being a brat as long as he’s got his camera out. you already know that watching this recording back the next time you’re horny will be a damn treat, and you’re enjoying riling him up just as much as he enjoys you doing it. misbehaving is half the fun, after all; and when the reward is so sweet, how could you resist?

jeonghan clicks his teeth, tsking at your lack of a response. “if you aren’t gonna talk, then i might as well just put this away and go on with my day. but i know my little whore wouldn’t like that, would they?”

“and why should i say anything to you?” you spit back at him, and your stomach jumps in anticipation when you see his eyes light up at your words.

his nostrils flare as he sets his phone down on the table, giving it no more than a half second of thought on whether or not he’s propped it up properly before he’s bending over you, face to face in a split second.

his hand is still flat against your stomach, and the tip of his nose presses against your cheek with how close he suddenly is to your face. his breath is warm on your lips, and your heart races as you try to guess what he’s about to say to you.

“because, i can just leave you here, soaking wet and painfully horny and it wouldn’t bother me one bit,” he says, “i know your adorable little panties are ruined right now and you’re dripping onto the fucking sheets. i could smell you a mile away like a bitch in heat, that’s how bad you want me. and if you keep acting like a fucking brat, you aren’t going to get any of me. is that clear?”

you nod without a word, knowing it’s not the reaction he wants and purposefully not giving it to him as a final act of defiance. you know him well enough to know he’s reaching the end of his patience, and you can’t keep up being a brat forever. not when you can see how thick the bulge in his pants is, not when you can see the veins popping out in his arms, not when you can see that look in his eyes when you know he’s going to fuck you so hard you’ll be feeling it for days afterward.

he sits up and his hand on your stomach flies to your chin, gripping it tightly. on instinct your lips part in compliance as he forces your jaw open and puckers his lips, violently spitting into your eagerly awaiting mouth.

he wipes the remnants of spit from around his mouth with the back of his free hand, still holding onto your jaw with his other. “when i say speak, i mean speak, bitch. if i say bark, you bark. use your words like a good puppy and i’ll reward you, but disobey me and i’ll make you regret every second of it.”

jeonghan lets go of your mouth and you exhale a shaky but excited breath, this time quick to give him an answer. “yes, sir.”

he leans over you to adjust his phone on the nightstand, eyes narrowing with a sly smile. “now that’s a good girl. see how easy that was?”

“yes, sir,” you answer again. you know this part of the routine; he doesn’t do rhetorical questions, and you know better than not to answer him now.

when he’s satisfied with the camera’s placement he leans back down over you, his lips just centimeters above yours. this time you can’t hide your whines, and he coos. “aw, sweetheart, did it hurt when i grabbed you? want me to kiss it better for you, my little angel?” there’s just enough sarcasm in his tone to know he doesn’t care whether or not it hurt, and he won’t kiss it better, no matter what your answer is.

again it’s a trick question, and again you know exactly what response he’s looking for. “no, sir,” you whisper, barely enough space between you and him for you to move your lips to speak. “i liked it. sir.”

he grins sadistically, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth anyways. “what a good whore,” he praises, “taking what i give you so well.”

he moves on to your neck, biting roughly at the skin below your jaw and sucking for so long you’re sure he can feel your pulse jump each time a new bruise begins to form.

“jeonghan—” you gasp out his name as he moves lower to your collarbones, teeth scratching along your skin as he stares up at you through his pretty long lashes, never breaking the eye contact despite how you writhe beneath him.

“that’s a good girl,” he says, his mouth hovering over your nipple as he looks up at you. “let me hear all those pretty sounds you make. need to hear how good i’m making you feel.”

his tongue laves over your breast and you arch your back up into him, struggling to keep your voice from breaking as you reply with another “yes, sir”.

you’re aware that he’s still teasing you as he works his way down your body, taking longer than necessary to get to where you really want him to be. but the feeling of his mouth covering every inch of your skin is too good to pass up, despite the way your cunt throbs and the uncomfortable feeling of your ruined panties sticking to your soaked folds. 

but finally, mercifully, he must decide that even he’s had enough teasing for one night, because he slides down in between your legs, pressing a kiss to your clit over the fabric of your underwear.

you exhale as tears begin to form in your eyes, already exhausted from being edged and denied and he’s still barely done a thing. “god, fuck— hannie, please, more, please give me more, please—” you babble, your hands gripping the sheets below you until your fingers begin to numb.

usually when you piss him off it’ll take a lot more begging than that to get him to cave, but he must be feeling generous today because he just smiles, fingertips hooking into the waistband of your underwear as he slides them down your legs. “sound so nice when you beg, angel. now look at how you get rewarded when you behave.”

“wait, jeongha—”

and that’s all the warning you get before he dives in. his hands pry apart your thighs, roughly pinning your legs to the bed as his mouth wraps around your clit and he begins to suck as hard as he can. your vision goes black for a second as you struggle to process the sudden stimulation, and your brain can’t catch up quick enough with how fast and rough jeonghan’s tongue moves against you in unpredictable patterns and movements.

you open your mouth to tell him that you’re right at the edge, you’re close you’re so fucking close it feels like you might die, but your breath catches in your throat before you can say a word and you feel yourself start to crest into your orgasm without warning.

until jeonghan pulls away, and your pussy clenches hard around nothing but air. the sudden change in pace is jarring, but it’s already too late to stop yourself from falling over the edge; except the edge is gone, your orgasm ruined at just the right moment.

your chest tightens and your lungs burn, gasping for air as your orgasm crumbles away into nothingness. each pulse of your cunt sears through your entire body and your veins feel like they’re on fire, the usual pleasure from your high stopped short by jeonghan taking it away from you. 

in the back of your mind you realize that of course he could tell you were close, of course he kept going and of course he knew exactly when to stop so that you wouldn’t get a single ounce of pleasure out of it, because he just knows you that well. even if you had tried to hide it, you wouldn’t have been able to: whatever jeonghan does, your body listens and obeys.

the tears finally spill down your cheeks, eyes squeezed shut as you scream in frustration, every nerve in your body on edge and every muscle tensed.

when you regain your breath enough to open your eyes again, you see jeonghan sitting below you looking smug. “oops,” he says nonchalantly, and if you had any energy left in your body you would’ve slapped him.

“god, i hate you so fucking much,” you rasp out, and he grins contentedly and presses a little kiss to the inside of your thigh before he sits up.

“you know you love me,” he giggles. 

he reaches over to the table to turn off the camera and set his phone facedown before he moves out from between your legs. you close your eyes again and sigh, your whole body feeling like jelly as you breathe in and out, slowly coming back down to earth.

“you just wanna take a break, or are you done for tonight? that sounded rough,” jeonghan says, and when you open your eyes again he’s sitting next to you on the bed holding a glass of water. with a groan you force yourself to sit up as he holds the glass in front of your mouth to help you drink.

“if i could move my arms right now, i would splash this right in your face, hannie.”

he laughs, thoroughly used to your post-orgasmic insults by now. “and honestly, i’d deserve it. that was a little mean even for me, huh?” 

you snort, leaning your head back against the headboard. “yeah, it was. asshole.”

he smiles, his eyes much softer now than before. “but it was hot, though,” he says excitedly. “i can’t fucking wait to watch that video. it might be my new favorite.”

you glare at him, eyebrows knitted into a pout. “i was literally on the verge of death and you thought it was hot?”

“oh, shut up. you thought it was hot, too, and you know it. that’s why you do your little brat routine every time i start recording, because you know you love it.”

you don’t have the brainpower to come up with a comeback for that, because he’s right. rough and nasty and fast is exactly the way you like it, maybe even more than he does at times. but once that feral side of you is satiated with an orgasm powerful enough to nearly knock you out, it leaves you to better appreciate the other things he’s good at: like holding you close and making you feel safe and loved, or kissing you all over and making sure he didn’t really hurt you with anything he did, or helping you drink water when your bones feel like mush.

you huff and roll your eyes at him. “can you just fuck me now, please? i’m still mad at you. start making up for it.”

he sets your empty glass down on the table and climbs back over you to gently kiss your lips, still dry from how much you were moaning. “mm, of course i can do that. your wish is my command, angel.”

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

> taglist | @wonderfulshinee @noniestars @just-here-to-read-01 @darlingvernon @wonuziex @enhacolor @yourfavoritefreakyhan @dkakapizzaboy @zozojella @rainyjeno @jwnghyuns @uwuheeseungie @miriamxsworld @synthetickitsune @simeonswhore @junhour @foxdaisy @limesorbets @98-0603

> strikethrough means your blog cannot be tagged, please check your visibility settings and make sure they are off so i can tag you properly!

> if you want to be notified when i post a new fic, you can join my taglist here!

[sitp-recs]

hello!! i love your recs so so much, and i finally have something to ask. what about fics where harry is very good at something beyond just having powerful magic (love that trope tho) like commanding a classroom, solving a complicated puzzle, or idk even whittling. and draco notices and likes it? like competence kink. thank you!!

Oh I love this ask! Such a great concept, and not something I see often (competent Auror Harry is pretty popular though!). I’m sure I’m forgetting a bunch of fics and might add more later, but these are all great:

In Which Harry is Magnetic North and Draco Is An Idiot by bryoneybrynn (T, 13k)

For as long as he can remember, Draco’s been bringing fake dates to his family’s annual Yuletide celebration in order to evade his mother’s matchmaking. This year, Potter’s posing as his pretend boyfriend. But as the party gets underway, it gets unclear who’s playing who, who’s pretending what, who’s not pretending at all, and what the game really is. Confused? Yeah, so is Draco…

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

This is Never Happening Again by hpleems (M, 32k)

“Potter,” Malfoy said, shaking his head. “Do I look like I care about your holiday plans? Trust me: this is *never* happening again.”

Meet Me at Midnight by thestarryknight (T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse. That is, until he stumbles upon the surreal and beautiful world of a mysterious fae creature…

A Room Up There (And You In It) by thestarryknight (T, 59k)

When Preservationist Draco Malfoy was assigned to work on Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was excited to delve into the gorgeous Black family antiques. His excitement quickly ended when something in the House decided it did not like his presence one bit. Featuring a grumpy antiques lover who most certainly did not sign up for this, encounters with a vengeful apparition, and a healthy application of Christmas spirit.

Among Ancient Pines by Theartfulldodger (M, 74k)

Every day, Draco Malfoy tries. With every fiber of his being he tries. But he doesn’t much think about what he’s trying for. In his final term of Healer training, Draco is unfortunate enough to find himself on a plane, the only means of traveling to a small, magical town in rural Alaska. Years of hard work have culminated in an opportunity to work with an experimental wandmaker to study the intersection of Healing and wand theory.

Azoth by zeitgeistic (E, 88k)

Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose, dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

[melonteee]

I keep seeing posts about gay Zoro, and I want him to be gay(if only so I can more fully enjoy Nami and Zoro’s relationship because it really is just like a lesbian and a gay man) but I try not to be the person who just has everyone as queer in their mind lol (not that that’s bad yk) so can you please just tell me like I’m a first grader why he is perceived as gay. Strange request, but I have a burning desire in my heart to know

Also I love your videos! You put my thoughts into one big digestible cake that I can share with my friends. “RAAAHHHH I LOVE ONE PIECE🐺🔥🐉” vs. “g’day, mate! As you can see, one piece is a perfect representation of an unclear dystopian, and it perfectly conveys the meaning of freedom, love, and joy.”

my biggest thing with Zoro being gay is just his reaction to...men?? fighting men???? he gets SOOOO excited to brawl with men in the weirdest way ever like, smirking and moaning and licking his swords type shit. The fight he had with Killer in Wano was crazy what the FUCK was that about??

But then when he fights women (in the few times he has) he just...isn't having as much fun HAHA like he's not the same freak at all. And then ofc there's the fact Zoro does not pay attention to women AT ALL apart from when they're actually IN his face and he's forced to, but he was the ONLY guy who did not peek on Nami and Vivi even though LUFFY AND CHOPPER DID??

like I know ppl go "It's just cause Zoro is SOOO respectful" but then why didn't he stop any of them, not even Chopper or Luffy?? I think Zoro just genuinely does not care about women at all in fact he seems a little terrified of them LMAOOO

And then when he woke up in Wano, he didn't even say THANK YOU to Hiyori, and went STRAIGHT to fighting Sanji?? EVEN THE ZOROBROS WERE CONFUSED ABOUT THAT ONE HAHAH THAT WAS SO FUNNY PLEASE

Also thank you so much! I'm working on a beast of a video right now so please look forward to it!

[starlightsreigns]

Never Ending | d. priest

summary: love is a never-ending cycle of happiness and heartbreak. Kennedy is no newcomer to this, but there's something so different about him and how much she cares. it's strange, but strange can be good.

warnings: brief mention of abuse, but other than that it's fluff!

word count: 3.1k (sorry but not really)

author's note: part two of my anti one-shots. part one is here! this might be my fav by far so thank you for voting for this one to be posted next! excuse the errors, and the lowercase is on purpose, sorry. wattpad kid here.

“why do it have to feel so strange to be in love again.” 

kennedy stretches out her body, reaching for her toes. she glares over at dakota and liv who haven’t started their stretches yet. early morning workouts meant the world to her, that and the fact that they had a long day that ended with a live show - they need to get started now rather than later. 

“you ready, kenny?" samatha plopped down besides her. “i have stuff I need to do.” 

a smile breaks out on kennedy’s face, “i love you, yes, cause those two are having the time of their lives.” 

she wasn’t actually upset with her friends. the last few months felt like hell on earth. the move to monday nights became a little harder than she thought it would be, kennedy loves her girls but spends most of her time alone to deal with her own shit. after the break up with her long term-2 years of wasted time-made her cry everyday for the last year-traumatized her beyond repair- boyfriend, peace and quiet was needed. she didn’t want to rehash the breakup, so no one knew they’d broken up months ago. it still felt so fresh, and after being moved away from smackdown, away from that routine, it just messed her up. 

kennedy needs that routine to keep her mind off of that man who destroyed everything she really loved about herself. she felt like a stranger in her body and at work. so much so, that she was worried that people were staring to notice the facade she was playing up, like now: 

“are you okay?” samantha askes as she spots kennedy. “you’ve been… quieter as of late, and i didn’t want to pry but you’ve been like that for a while.” 

what do you say to that? these women are her friends. they know her better than anyone else and she’s been lying about her happiness for so long that kennedy didn’t even know how she really felt. it was numb and cold. 

“i’m okay, sam, just tired and getting used to being on this new schedule.” 

not that she’d say it, but samatha doesn't mention kennedy’s boyfriend because she knew something was up. she refuses to be the one to bring that up. before she could call bullshit and before kennedy could conjure up another lie, dakota and liv joined them. it felt like a weight off kennedy’s shoulder, being able to fall into the background again. the illusion of being part of conversations is all she’s had now. 

“ghost in the mirror, i knew your face once but now it’s unclear..”

 

the group was biostorious as they spoke over one another. kennedy laughs softly trying to catch what the conversation was about. anecdotes get lost one after another as each person throws one into the circle. it was a jungle of conversation before the show could start for the night. kennedy rests an elbow on her crossed leg then places her chin on it, giving full attention to a story carlito is sharing. 

moments like this mean everything to her - because the pain subsides. there's no attention on her, but she feels included in something so bright and loving and playful. kennedy feels less lost, less confused, less dark and gloomy. 

carlito breaks his story with a cheer, and he points towards the entrance of catering. everyone turns to see what he’s hollering about. kennedy smiles as she sees damian walk in with dominik. damian chuckles at everyone’s playful cheering, going around to greet them. he bumps shoulders with carlito then gives him a hug. 

“what we doin’?” damian looks around the group. his eyes stop on kennedy who’s already lost in thought, her eyes sad like he’s noticed for the past couple of months. 

as someone else takes the reigns of the conversation once more, damian slyly takes the seat beside kennedy as karrion was on the other side of her. he lightly bumps her shoulder with his, smiling when her eyes met his. kennedy gives him a bright grin that doesn’t meet her eyes. damian leans into her and wraps his arm around her shoulder in a friendly manner. 

“you doin’ okay, kenna?”

a horrible nickname. but she saw it endearing. no one else calls her that.

he’s a sweetheart. he’s always been like that and kennedy didn’t mind his kindness. she needs as much as she can take before becoming needy. damian didn’t push her like most people did when they saw her shift in demeanor. it’s as if he knew just how much space to give her whilst always being there. 

kennedy nods, “very well.” she lies. 

“i can’t feel my body now, i separate from here and now…” 

most times, kennedy finds herself sitting alone. it’s all by choice. the silence helps her collect her thoughts and organize them. 

backstage was a constant buzz, but she found a way to tune it out. traveling with wrestlers meant constant noise, the noise that she used to contribute to with her loud laughs, but now she was a constant blank stare. 

she found solace in empty locker rooms, catering when the show started, her hotel rooms, bathrooms, the airport during early morning flights or redeyes, her headphones, and long car rides. anything to escape the questions that have begun to bombard her. the prying into her emotional state, her smiles and lack thereof, her weight loss. kennedy didn’t know how to hide it anymore. 

it was was like she was a passenger in her own life. she wasn’t in the front seat, she was in a minivan, watching her life pass on by from the third row. she was crying out to be let back into the front seat, but a ringing silence is what she was met with. sometimes the buzzing was soothing, but now it became enraging. 

kennedy sits in the empty hotel gym, staring into the mirrors. it was three in the morning, but sleep evades her like everything else in her life. a workout is the last thing she wants, so she slings her bag over her shoulder and leaves the room behind. there’s an eerie and comforting silence in the lobby but, it cracks with the sound of a group of people entering through the entrance. she recognizes the voices from a mile away and when a chorus of hellos comes her way, she musters up a smile and a wave in their direction as they head towards the elevators. 

“kenna,” damian branches off from the group who pile into the elevator. “long night?” 

“not as long as yours.” kennedy laughs softly and to damian. “fun night, mr.champion?” 

damian shrugs but the smile on his face betrays him, “you should’ve came with.” 

kennedy waves him off, “no no, but i’m so happy for you.” 

damian takes a moment to study kennedy’s face. he motions towards the seats in the lobby. there was a brief moment where kennedy wanted to form an excuse to disappear up to her room, but more silence felt like it could kill her today. so she follows him and they sit across from each other. they don’t talk for a moment. they simply stare at each other for a while. this should make her uncomfortable, but there's a softness in damian’s eyes that makes her trust him, that makes her unafraid to be here. finally, a smile breaks out onto her face, the first genuine smile damian has seen in the last six months. 

“ah, hermosa, there’s a real smile.” damian cheers quietly, leaning in. “tell me something.” he implores. 

“like what?” her voice a whisper. 

damian smiles, “anything you want.” 

for that she was thankful, and from that day forward, that’s what he’d do. his mission became to get a genuine smile out of her and get one random tidbit of information. it didn’t matter what she said. damian would take that random thing as the most important information kennedy could give. 

sometimes, she wouldn’t even have anything to say. he didn’t care. damian would sit there in that silence with her. 

“you know aaron judge has the 11th most home runs in yankees history?” he said one night when she had nothing to say. it made her smile. so he went on to give her aaron judge’s entire career highlights. just so she couldn’t have to talk. he did that a lot. kennedy knew more about yankees baseball than she’d ever think she would in her lifetime. 

that was his thing - sit and wait, no matter how long. if she had nothing, he’d fill that deafening silence for her. sometimes, he’d be prepared with a deck of cards for them to play a random game of spades, or bullshit, or simply stack the cards over and over again until kennedy was ready to call it a night - no matter how long that took. 

that broke the ice. and kennedy was thankful for that. 

“a lost connection, come back to me, so i can feel alive again.” 

kennedy felt better, not great, but she was slowly feeling like a human again. eight months and counting, and she’s finally opening herself up again, but some days are tougher than others. it was a work in progress. 

as the show wraps for the night, kennedy ties her hair into a low bun, lost in her own train of thought as the women pack up for the night. with her headphones on, she turns to look for the face of the one person she was driving to the next city with - it was rare that she drives with someone nowadays, but the silence was no longer comforting to her and she agreed to ride with kayden but now she was nowhere to be found. 

a text comes through as she searches. 

damian priest: i’m your ride tonight. 

kennedy’s smile is mixed with confusion as if he was there. 

kennedy: what did you do with kayden, priest? 

damian priest: can’t tell you. i’ll be in the parking lot. 

it was weird how excited kennedy was for this four-hour drive. this was usually the part of the day she was dreading, especially when riding with someone, but there was comfortability that they have with each other that eases all her anxiety. it was comforting being in his presence and damian would reciprocate that, but he was too afraid of scaring her off by saying anything like that to her. 

kennedy spots him right away. he leans against the car, hands in his pockets, scooping out the parking lot. when he sees her, he smiles like this is what he has been waiting for all day. everything about this was calming and kennedy gratefully took the passenger seat as he loaded her bags in and took the driver's seat. soon enough, they were on their way. 

the ride was quiet for a while. after seven hours of constant noise, they ride in comfortable silence. 

“you’ve never asked,” kennedy finally breaks the silence. when damian sends her a questioning look, she clears her throat. “you’re the only person who never asked me what happened.” 

damian nods in understanding, “if you wanted to tell me, kennedy, you would, but i’m okay just being here for you without having to know.” 

that makes kennedy stop for a moment. she studies the side of damian’s face as he drives. for the first time, she realizes the feelings that fill her stomach every time they’re together. it makes her take a deep breath and allow herself to finally say the things she never imagined saying out loud to anyone.

“he cheated on me,” she whispers, blinking away the tears. “he took the ring back, and when i confronted him about it, he… he beat me until i couldn’t breathe.” kennedy finishes, both afraid to look away from him and for him to respond. 

damian glances at her in shock. he doesn’t say anything briefly as he focuses on the road. then, he pulls over to the shoulder of the highway while kennedy looks in confusion. when he puts the car in park, she turns to him, worried that she’s made him uncomfortable. but he only grabs her hand. 

“one, thank you for telling me, kenna, you can trust me.” damian brushes a finger over her hands. “and if you tell me where he lives i’ll kill him.” 

this was the most free she’s felt in almost a year. kennedy closes her eyes with a smile, shaking her head. damian pulls her into a hug and rubs a hand on her back.

he whispers into her ear, "I'm always gonna be here for you, my love."

'my love' echoes in kennedy's ear like a foreign word.

“as a soul and body try to mend…” 

“why is this your favorite music video?” damian laughs while he looks down at kennedy who rests her back on his shoulder. 

kennedy exaggerates a sigh, “listen, everyone would say that thriller or smooth criminal or something like that is the best video but there’s something so special and captivating about the simplicity of beat it.” she turns to look at him. “like, i’m not bashing those videos cause they’re amazing, but beat it has something special and the fact that he had to pay it all himself because his record label didn’t believe in it.” 

damian listens to the passion in her voice as she defends the music video. he can’t himself but smile as she rambles on. when kennedy finally realizes he’s staring at her, she stops abruptly and sinks into the couch in slight embarrassment. 

“sorry, this is so dumb.” she laughs, biting her bottom lip. 

“nah, c’mon, tell me your second favorite MJ song.” damian begs. 

she thinks for a moment, “it’s a tie between who is it and human nature.” 

kennedy watches as damian thinks. she knows he’s trying to figure out a song to say that’ll impress her. when he says dirty diana, she raises an eyebrow and waits for him to explain that choice. it intrigues her because it reminisces beat it in the way the guitar plays. 

“i can’t explain it,” damian chuckles. 

a year since her breakup has come and gone. 

kennedy doesn’t know how she got here or how she's overcome it. a year and two months feels like six years when she’s with damian. so much so that she missed the year mark because they spent the day at the beach, soaking in the sun and as much ice cream as their bodies could handle. now, she can see that he did that on purpose. she’s thankful for that too. 

that pain feels nonexistent now. it’s replaced with something that scares her to death. 

“it’s pulling me apart this time, everything is never ending…” 

it has to change. kennedy can’t go another day living in this uncertainty, in this paralyzing state of wonder where she theorizes how she can ruin this relationship. it’s not fair to her and this is not fair to him. the days aren't cloudy anymore, but she misses her constant sunshine in the form of the 6’5 Puerto Rican. 

the fear of something new drew her away. first, it was less time together backstage, then she started riding with other people, which led to ignoring calls and texts. kennedy didn’t know how to deal with this, and bless his heart, damian didn’t push her. he knew better than to hover, even when all he wants is to talk to her. he knew she had to figure it out. damian didn’t worry about her, because her smile never fades now, even if they aren’t directed at him. 

kennedy sits with kayden as they watch a TikTok they want to recreate. she groans at the sheer amount of work they have to do to accomplish it while kayden beams with excitement. kayden glances up for a moment then looks over at kennedy. 

“there’s damian, you not gonna say hi?” she peers up. “you guys were inseparable, and now…” kayden waits. 

“i plan on talking to him later, he’s busy, i don’t need to interrupt him.” kennedy semi lies. 

a three-hour show feels like six when someone is anxious and unfortunately, kennedy feels like a personification of anxiety. it was only intensified by the cup of iced coffee that dangles in her grasp as she walks down the hallway. how much more of this confusion can she take? as if the universe chooses to answer the question, damian exits a room and walks in her direction. 

kennedy is still so lost in her thoughts, that she doesn’t see him from down the hallway. when they pass each other, damian stops and watches her for a moment, then shakes his head not wanting to do this anymore. 

“kenna,” he calls out. kennedy turns to meet his eyes in light shock. “can we talk, please?” 

he holds a hand out for her that she reluctantly takes. damian leads them to an empty office. kennedy sits on the cold fold-out chair that makes her shiver. she crosses her leg trying to calm herself while damian pulls a chair up in front of her and sits. 

it’s quiet. they stare into each other's eyes as they usually do, but it's not the same now. this is more intense and is filled with something new. she leans back into her chair and bounces her leg slowly not wanting to be the first one to break. damian gives her the faintest smile and she cracks - kennedy smiles back at him with a small huff.

his smile disarms her. 

damian pumps his fist in victory then leans in to take her hand, “what’s happenin’ with us?” he squeezes her hand to comfort her. “i thought everything was getting better and we were close - i’m thinkin’ you need a little space but now you avoiding me and i don’t know what to do.” 

“it’s not you, damian, and im so sorry you feel like that. it’s all just complicated and confusing.” kennedy sighs, focused on their hands. “im so lost.” 

his hands are warm. damian scoots his chair closer and waits for her to meet his eyes again.

“i’m never gonna force you to do anything, kennedy, you know that.” damian soothes. “i’m in love with you, and im willing to wait, as long as you’re willing  just be here with me.” 

those words make kennedy’s heart race. she looks into his eyes knowing that he’s telling the truth. their hands are still intertwined in their silence. kennedy raises her thumb and squashes his which starts a thumb war - the smile on her face radiates in the room, intensifying the feelings in his chest. they play the game until he wins the last round. 

“i win, what do you say?” he grins then kisses her hand. 

kennedy gets up carefully and moves onto his lap. damian wraps an arm around her waist, waiting to hear what she’s about to say. she keeps one of their hands intertwined and rests the other around his neck. 

“i’m literally so fucking petrified, but i really like you, im willing to just be here with you.” kennedy speaks softly. “because i love you too and i don’t know how to deal with that.” 

“let me deal with it for the both of us,” damian presses his forehead against hers. “i’ll hold everything for you, kennedy.”

“why do it have to feel so strange to be in love again.”

-------

ahhh, hope you enjoyed this one :) one of my favs