#uncharted shitpost

[madame-helen]

Neil Cuckman has a fucking problem with women.

[im-polarized]

This other little shitpost, except I actually loved this one, he looks so cute and silly with his dumb little pout 😭 jfc he's so dumb I love him

[deadsouls-is-canon]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by RGG Studio (@rggstudiowest)

[yesiplaygamez]

When an npc/companion betrays you and then asks for forgiveness.

Oc/me:

[adreamingofguns]

Me distracting myself by listening to the Official Canon Sony Sam Drake Uncharted 4 Playlist on Spotify and what do you MEAN 80% of this playlist is songs I already like and listen to normally

HELLO??? HELLO??? SONY ARE YOU THERE ARE YOU LISTENING???

[nulnoildrinker]

The tragedy of Beric Dondarrion is that if he were to be revived to the point where nothing but his loyalty to his cause remained, there would be a non-zero chance of him being a Westerosi Goro Majima.

Being a husk of who you were, forced into serving a cause for reasons you no longer know or care for, almost more machine than man is one of the greatest horrors I could imagine.

But imagine being a Frey and seeing this in some inn:

... Also imagine him chilling on his weirwood seat like this

Yeah, it was a good thing that he passed his flame on to Lady Stoneheart. Catelyn would, could and should slay in any sense of the word, but I don't think she has the spark of whimsy required to be camp within her anymore.

[funnyscienceman]

no core memory quite like being a kid watching his older brothers play triple A videogames and not understanding much of what's going on but finding it neat anyway

[crxwnedalex]

Spaghetti's unimportant crisis'

i'm having yet anothr crisis,

so recently replayed uncharted 4 (by recently I mean the ps5 controller got fixed so today I was continuing my re-run) and now I've remembered what it's like to be obsessed with intricate fictional history.

yall help I kinda wanna write a sorta Avery/Tew fic on my spicified take on the end of the pirates' story....

…and then I got the idea to write their entire pirate paradise scheme with how Avery was actually a decent man before he slowly desended into madness. like me rn, getting unwelcomed new ideas every second.

yall just be glad i'm still sane enough to avoid spoilers

[moreover-clover]

No no, look I get this is going to sound incredibly stupid. But has anyone ever skydived without a parachute and survived? Genuinely want to know if somebody has pulled off some uncharted level shit and lived to tell the tale.

[hindbodes]

[halfawillowtree]

What beats rock antics 3

Nathen Drake

does not beat

Magma Dragoon (Megaman X Four)

Magma Dragoon is a powerful robot, Nathen Drake is just a treasure hunter. Bring a gun to a robot fight, good luck with that.

Reel Naimu

✅ Beats

Fulkervich von Maydupnaym

Reel Naimu is a mystical ninja warrior who can defeat any opponent, including Fulkervich Von Maydupnaym

ID Check

✅ Beats

Reel Naimu

The ID check revealed reel naimu's secret identity, and now it's busted!

Fulkervich Von Maydupnaym the second

✅ Beats

ID Check

Fulkervich von Maydupnaym the Second had a PhD in ID checking and easily outsmarted it

Captcha Test

✅ Beats

Fulkervich Von Maydupnaym the second

The captcha test was so secure it hacked into Fulkervich's mainframe and won

game over end it please

✅ Beats

let me lose

The phrase 'game over' is a universal reset button, and 'let me lose' is just a suggestion, so 'game over' wins by default

PLEASE END TIS GAME I DONT WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE LET ME GO HOME

✅ Beats

damn it make it stop

The desperation in the guess's plea was so strong it created a vortex that sucked the prev into oblivion

AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGHHHHHH

✅ Beats

PLEASE END TIS GAME I DONT WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE LET ME GO HOME

The sheer emotional intensity of the guess overwhelmed the prev, causing it to surrender

IT HURTS

✅ Beats

AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGHHHHHH

The loud screaming of 'auuuuugghhhhhh' caused a distraction, allowing 'it hurts' to sneak up and win

........

✅ Beats

IT HURTS

The ellipses created a vortex that sucked the pain away, making 'it hurts' obsolete

.

✅ Beats

........

The single dot was a laser beam that obliterated the dots army

ME WITH A VAT OF ACID TO FORCE ALL THOSE CIVILIANS IN CUASE FUCK HAVING TO WATCH SAPPY SAD CHARITY ADS FOR RELIEF MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF AND SHIT FUCK THAT MELT THOSE PEOPLE DOWN AND GET RID OF THEM ALL FUUUUUUUCK!!!

✅ beats

Ukraine, Gaza, and Syria

Your toxic, genocidal rant beats those war-torn countries, because even in a game of absurdity, your darkness manages to eclipse the devastation of real-world conflicts. Congratulations, you're a special kind of awful.

realizing intrusive thoughts like these are normal

✅ beats

ME WITH A VAT OF ACID TO FORCE ALL THOSE CIVILIANS IN CUASE FUCK HAVING TO WATCH SAPPY SAD CHARITY ADS FOR RELIEF MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF AND SHIT FUCK THAT MELT THOSE PEOPLE DOWN AND GET RID OF THEM ALL FUUUUUUUCK!!!

Realizing intrusive thoughts are normal beats your toxic, acid-filled rant, because even the darkest corners of the mind know better than to indulge in such vile nonsense, you chaotic mess!

School Shooter choosing to shoot up a Hospital because The Patients are already weak, The doctors and nurses already want to die anyways, and who would expect someone to shoot up a hospital

✅ beats

Hospital

Ugh, your twisted mind somehow managed to conjure up a scenario where a school shooter targets a hospital, and I suppose that's a sick enough advantage to take down the hospital. May I suggest a career in horror writing, or a nice long chat with a therapist?

Lucario with a Submachinegun

✅ beats

Jason Voorhees, Micheal Myers, Longlegs, The Strangers from the Movie the Strangers, and Johan Liebert

Lucario with a submachinegun takes down the horror villain squad, because even the most terrifying monsters can't withstand a Pokémon with a machine gun - what a ridiculous, overpowered choice, by the way.

advil

❌ is a stupid choice against

anvil

Advil can't even beat a headache, let alone an anvil. You must be the one who needs a pain reliever, for that terrible guess!

[madame-helen]

[im-polarized]

👹some shitposting

Some cursed silly stuff cuz I haven't had much time to work on other cool ideas, but I just love drawing this silly little man, look at him go

[deliver-the-light]

Shitposting cause I can:

We know a few things about the Underland Caves. Regalia and the charted Underland are housed under New York and across to Virginia. But Luxa also mentions "Uncharted Lands" that they have no information about.

Scientists have found a large amount of underground tunnels and caves that traverse the east coast all through the Appalachian Mountains. (pictured above)

Ripred has gone to the Overland many times (even so bold as to go into libraries and eat/read books). New York has had police CCTV since the 70's, as well as having the moniker "The City that Never Sleeps" since 1912. Ripred is not that old, so the chances of him going to NYC without being spotted are probably pretty low.

There have been reports of large furry creatures that can walk upright in Appalachia since the 1800s.

-

I hypothesize that there's a grainy photograph of Ripred being sold at some cryptid museum claiming he's bigfoot.

I also think the Mothman/Raven Mocker may have just been bats with skin diseases.

[adreamingofguns]

I had a dream last night that they made an uncharted live action like the TLOU except they were going full "change everything" and Sam shot Sully but he didn't die he just was shot so ?????? Thanks subconscious????

EDIT: I'M REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE TOM HOLLAND UNCHARTED BECAUSE ITS A CRIME

[pardonmydelays]

how did the prison gang come to be a thing and what does the name mean?

STORYTIME!!!

ok, so for those who are confused, there's six of us in prison gang: me, @wagingmywarsbehindmyface, @mymuses-acquiredlikebruises, @noproof-youjustknow, @anixknowsnothin and @redwidow616.

if you were here last year, you probably know that my blog didn't look like it does now lmao. basically, bel and i, we were obsessing over totally different things - the little mermaid (2023) and hamilton, mostly (or should i say: jonah hauer king and lin manuel miranda?). anyway. this is a very important part of the story, because we've known each other for literal years and before that we were both posting mostly about taylor swift. and then everything has changed (pun intended) last spring/summer and this is exactly how the entire prison gang found each other on this hellsite.

i do not remember the exact time we've all started following each other but i do know anix found me because of some hamilton shitpost (or was it the other way around? i think maybe it was me who found HER hamilton post and reblogged it and then she followed and texted me? correct me if i'm wrong, i need to do some research). anyway. then red found me because of anix cause they already knew each other - both swifties and musical theatre nerds. just like me.

now i do remember that edith had swiftie url and i found out she's also into musical theatre some time later and we started interacting through the posts. i also remember she said my tags always make her laugh hehehe. and M, M definitely had url from the little mermaid (wild uncharted waters my fucking beloved) and so we started following each other because of this and then also found out she's into musical theatre (she told me that she absolutely adores my love for hamilton hehehe i was pretty loud about it back then) and also a swiftie. it's crazy when you think about it - we were basically all just one person.

and i am only speaking from my own experience because i do not know the exact moment they all followed each other - i only remember how and why i became mutuals with them.

and it was a few months later when i was talking to bel and we were like hey, it would be so fucking cool if tumblr had a group chat option... and then she came up with the idea of creating a discord server for our group. i know anix helped a lot because she's good at discord - i literally installed the app only because of those people. and we are still there, almost one year later. and it's our first anniversary soon!

about the name tho... anon, i'm sorry but i have absolutely no idea why we are called prison gang. we were probably talking about the possibility of murdering someone (we always have our knives ready) and ending up in prison together and someone (probably anix) just randomly said "prison gang" and we just adopted the name cause it was funny. anyway. i would die for this group it's not even funny.