#unbelievable realistic features

[flash-bam-alacazam]

Holy bleeding hell, where did you artists trade your soul for being able to capture likeness so well?!

save a horse…

[insipid-drivel]

Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap

I'm going to go ahead and preface this with: I comment pretty regularly on clips and photos featuring horses and horseback riding, often answering questions or providing explanations for how or why certain things are done. I was a stable hand and barrel racer growing up, and during my 11 year tenure on tumblr, Professional Horse Commentary is a very niche, yet very necessary, subject that needs filling. Here are some of the literary and creative gaps I've noticed in well meaning (and very good!) creators trying to portray horses and riding realistically that... well, most of you don't seem to even be aware of, because you wouldn't know unless you worked with horses directly!

Some Of The Most Common Horse + Riding Mistakes I See:

-Anybody can ride any horse if you hold on tight enough/have ridden once before.

Nope. No, no, no, no, aaaaaaaand, no. Horseback riding has, historically, been treated as a life skill taught from surprisingly young ages. It wasn't unusual in the pre-vehicular eras to start teaching children as young as 4 to begin to ride, because horses don't come with airbags, and every horse is different. For most adults, it can take months or years of regular lessons to learn to ride well in the saddle, and that's just riding; not working or practicing a sport.

Furthermore, horses often reject riders they don't know. Unless a horse has been trained like a teaching horse, which is taught to tolerate riders of all skill and experience levels, it will take extreme issue with having some random person try to climb on their back. Royalty, nobility, and the knighted classes are commonly associated with the "having a favorite special horse" trope, because it's true! Just like you can have a particularly special bond with a pet or service animal that verges on parental, the same can apply with horses. Happy horses love their owners/riders, and will straight-up do their best to murder anyone that tries to ride them without permission.

-Horses are stupid/have no personality.

There isn't a more dangerous assumption to make than assuming a horse is stupid. Every horse has a unique personality, with traits that can be consistent between breeds (again, like cat and dog breeds often have distinct behavior traits associated with them), but those traits manifest differently from animal to animal.

My mother had an Arabian horse, Zipper, that hated being kicked as a signal to gallop. One day, her mom and stepdad had a particularly unpleasant visitor; an older gentleman that insisted on riding Zipper, but refused to listen to my mother's warnings never to kick him. "Kicking" constitutes hitting the horse's side(s) with your heels, whether you have spurs on or not. Most horses only need a gentle squeeze to know what you want them to do.

Anyway, Zipper made eye-contact with my mom, asking for permission. He understood what she meant when she nodded at him. He proceeded to give this asshole of a rider road rash on the side of the paddock fence and sent him to the emergency room. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't have the permission from the rider he respected, and was intelligent enough to ask, "mind if I teach this guy a lesson?" with his eyes, and understand, "Go for it, buddy," from my mom in return.

-Riding bareback is possible to do if you hold onto the horse's mane really tight.

Riding a horse bareback (with no saddle, stirrups, or traditional harness around the horse's head) is unbelievably difficult to learn, particularly have testicles and value keeping them. Even professional riders and equestrians find ourselves relying on tack (the stuff you put on a horse to ride it) to stay stable on our horses, even if we've been riding that particular horse for years and have a very positive, trusting relationship.

Horses sweat like people do. The more they run, the more their hair saturates with sweat and makes staying seated on them slippery. Hell, an overworked horse can sweat so heavily that the saddle slips off its back. It's also essential to brush and bathe a horse before it's ridden in order to keep it healthier, so their hair is often quite slick from either being very clean or very damp. In order to ride like that, you have to develop the ability to synchronize your entire body's rhythm's with the rhythm of the horse's body beneath you, and quite literally move as one. Without stirrups, most people can't do it, and some people can never master bareback riding no matter how many years they spend trying to learn.

-You can be distracted and make casual conversation while a horse is standing untethered in the middle of a barn or field.

At every barn I've ever worked at, it's been standard practice with every single horse, regardless of age or temperament, to secure their heads while they're being tacked up or tacked down. The secures for doing this are simple ropes with clips that are designed to attach to the horse's halter (the headwear for a horse that isn't being ridden; they have no bit that goes in the horse's mouth, and no reins for a rider to hold) on metal O rings on either side of the horse's head. This is not distressing to the horse, because we give them plenty of slack to turn their heads and look around comfortably.

The problem with trying to tack up an unrestrained horse while chatting with fellow stable hands or riders is that horses know when you're distracted! And they often try to get away with stuff when they know you're not looking! In a barn, a horse often knows where the food is stored, and will often try to tiptoe off to sneak into the feed room.

Horses that get into the feed room are often at a high risk of dying. While extremely intelligent, they don't have the ability to throw up, and they don't have the ability to tell that their stomach is full and should stop eating. Allowing a horse into a feed/grain room WILL allow it to eat itself to death.

Other common woes stable hands and riders deal with when trying to handle a horse with an unrestrained head is getting bitten! Horses express affection between members of their own herd, and those they consider friends and family, through nibbling and surprisingly rough biting. It's not called "horseplay" for nothing, because during my years working with horses out in the pasture, it wasn't uncommon at all for me to find individuals with bloody bite marks on their withers (that high part on the middle of the back of their shoulders most people instinctively reach for when they try to get up), and on their backsides. I've been love-bitten by horses before, and while flattering, they hurt like hell on fleshy human skin.

So, for the safety of the horse, and everybody else, always make a show of somehow controlling the animal's head when hands-on and on the ground with them.

-Big Horse = War Horse

Startlingly, the opposite is usually the case! Draft and carriage horses, like Percherons and Friesians, were never meant to be used in warfare. Draft horses are usually bred to be extremely even-tempered, hard to spook, and trustworthy around small children and animals. Historically, they're the tractors of the farm if you could afford to upgrade from oxen, and were never built to be fast or agile in a battlefield situation.

More importantly, just because a horse is imposing and huge doesn't make it a good candidate for carrying heavy weights. A real thing that I had to be part of enforcing when I worked at a teaching ranch was a weight limit. Yeah, it felt shitty to tell people they couldn't ride because we didn't have any horses strong enough to carry them due to their weight, but it's a matter of the animal's safety. A big/tall/chonky horse is more likely to be built to pull heavy loads, but not carry them flat on their spines. Horses' muscular power is predominantly in their ability to run and pull things, and too heavy a rider can literally break a horse's spine and force us to euthanize it.

Some of the best war horses out there are from the "hot blood" family. Hot blooded horses are often from dry, hot, arid climates, are very small and slight (such as Arabian horses), and are notoriously fickle and flighty. They're also a lot more likely to paw/bite/kick when spooked, and have even sometimes been historically trained to fight alongside their rider if their rider is dismounted in combat; kicking and rearing to keep other soldiers at a distance.

-Any horse can be ridden if it likes you enough.

Just like it can take a lifetime to learn to ride easily, it can take a lifetime of training for a horse to comfortably take to being ridden or taking part in a job, like pulling a carriage. Much like service animals, horses are typically trained from extremely young ages to be reared into the job that's given to them, and an adult horse with no experience carrying a rider is going to be just as scared as a rider who's never actually ridden a horse.

Just as well, the process of tacking up a horse isn't always the most comfortable experience for the horse. To keep the saddle centered on the horse's back when moving at rough or fast paces, it's essential to tighten the belly strap (cinch) of the saddle as tightly as possible around the horse's belly. For the horse, it's like wearing a tight corset, chafes, and even leaves indents in their skin afterward that they love having rinsed with water and scratched. Some horses will learn to inflate their bellies while you're tightening the cinch so you can't get it as tight as it needs to be, and then exhale when they think you're done tightening it.

When you're working with a horse wearing a bridle, especially one with a bit, it can be a shocking sensory experience to a horse that's never used a bit before. While they lack a set of teeth naturally, so the bit doesn't actually hurt them, imagine having a metal rod shoved in your mouth horizontally! Unless you understand why it's important for the person you care about not dying, you'd be pretty pissed about having to keep it in there!

-Horseback riding isn't exercise.

If you're not using every muscle in your body to ride with, you're not doing it right.

Riding requires every ounce of muscle control you have in your entire body - although this doesn't mean it wasn't realistic for people with fat bodies to stay their weight while also being avid riders; it doesn't mean the muscles aren't there. To stay on the horse, you need to learn how it feels when it moves at different gaits (walk, trot, canter, gallop), how to instruct it to switch leads (dominant legs; essential for precise turning and ease of communication between you and the horse), and not falling off. While good riders look like they're barely moving at all, that's only because they're good riders. They know how to move so seamlessly with the horse, feeling their movements like their own, that they can compensate with their legs and waists to not bounce out of the saddle altogether or slide off to one side. I guarantee if you ride a horse longer than 30 minutes for the first time, your legs alone will barely work and feel like rubber.

-Horses aren't affectionate.

Horses are extraordinarily affectionate toward the right people. As prey animals, they're usually wary of people they don't know, or have only recently met. They also - again, like service animals - have a "work mode" and a "casual mode" depending upon what they're doing at the time. Horses will give kisses like puppies, wiggle their upper lips on your hair/arms to groom you, lean into neck-hugs, and even cuddle in their pasture or stall if it's time to nap and you join them by leaning against their sides. If they see you coming up from afar and are excited to see you, they'll whinny and squeal while galloping to meet you at the gate. They'll deliberately swat you with their tails to tease you, and will often follow you around the pasture if they're allowed to regardless of what you're up to.

-Riding crops are cruel.

Only cruel people use riding crops to hurt their horses. Spurs? I personally object to, because any horse that knows you well doesn't need something sharp jabbing them in the side for emphasis when you're trying to tell them where you want them to go. Crops? Are genuinely harmless tools used for signalling a horse.

I mean, think about it. Why would crops be inherently cruel instruments if you need to trust a horse not to be afraid of you and throw you off when you're riding it?

Crops are best used just to lightly tap on the left or right flank of the horse, and aren't universally used with all forms of riding. You'll mainly see crops used with English riding, and they're just tools for communicating with the horse without needing to speak.

-There's only one way to ride a horse.

Not. At. All. At most teaching ranches, you'll get two options: Western, or English, because they tend to be the most popular for shows and also the most common to find equipment for. English riding uses a thinner, smaller saddle, narrower stirrups, and much thinner bridles. I, personally, didn't like English style riding because I never felt very stable in such a thin saddle with such small stirrups, and didn't start learning until my mid teens. English style riding tends to focus more on your posture and deportment in the saddle, and your ability to show off your stability and apparent immovability on the horse. It was generally just a bit too stiff and formal for me.

Western style riding utilizes heavier bridles, bigger saddles (with the iconic horn on the front), and broader stirrups. Like its name may suggest, Western riding is more about figuring out how to be steady in the saddle while going fast and being mobile with your upper body. Western style riding is generally the style preferred for working-type shows, such as horseback archery, gunning, barrel racing, and even rodeo riding.

-Wealthy horse owners have no relationship with their horses.

This is loosely untrue, but I've seen cases where it is. Basically, horses need to feel like they're working for someone that matters to them in order to behave well with a rider and not get impatient or bored. While it's common for people to board horses at off-property ranches (boarding ranches) for cost and space purposes, it's been historically the truth that having help is usually necessary with horses at some point. What matters is who spends the most time with the animal treating it like a living being, rather than a mode of transport or a tool. There's no harm in stable hands handling the daily upkeep; hay bales and water buckets are heavy, and we're there to profit off the labor you don't want or have the time to do. You get up early to go to work; we get up early to look after your horses. Good owners/boarders visit often and spend as much of their spare time as they can with spending quality work and playtime with their horses. Otherwise, the horses look to the stable hands for emotional support and care.

So, maybe you're writing a knight that doesn't really care much for looking after his horse, but his squire is really dedicated to keeping up with it? There's a better chance of the horse having a more affectionate relationship with the squire thanks to the time the squire spends on looking after it, while the horse is more likely to tolerate the knight that owns it as being a source of discipline if it misbehaves. That doesn't mean the knight is its favorite person. When it comes to horses, their love must be earned, and you can only earn it by spending time with them hands-on.

-Horses can graze anywhere without concern.

This is a mistake that results in a lot of premature deaths! A big part of the cost of owning a horse - even before you buy one - is having the property that will be its pasture assessed for poisonous plants, and having those plants removed from being within the animal's reach. This is an essential part of farm upkeep every year, because horses really can't tell what's toxic and what isn't. One of the reasons it's essential to secure a horse when you aren't riding it is to ensure it only has a very limited range to graze on, and it's your responsibility as the owner/rider to know how to identify dangerous plants and keep your horses away from them.

There's probably more. AMA in my askbox if you have any questions, but that's all for now. Happy writing.

[gaycentral]

Confession

Summary: In the heat of the moment, JJ confesses her love for Spencer despite being married. Spencer has a confession of his own.

@delusionaldeadgirl @yomamacrusty

Warnings: Uhhhh JJ’s kind of a jerk in this (sorry JJ ily but you shouldn’t have done that when you’re married), kinda suggestive for a second there but nothing happens? Spencer gets mean for a second there, Protective Husband Mode (tm) I clearly don’t know how to write relationships please be nice to me.

Things had been…tense, to say the least. JJ still wondered why she’d done it, she was a married woman, she had kids. She loved Will, no doubt about it, but Spencer?

Spencer was different. She’d known him for a decade now, and even after everything he’d gone through, he was still him, even if changed. Brilliant and kind, gentle and warm and unbelievably loving. He had so much love to give, and he held it inside, a tight ball in his chest that seemed ready to burst.

Perhaps that’s why she did it. She wanted some of that love from him. It was foolish, she knew that, it was selfish. It was unfair to Will, to Spencer, to herself. But, much to her own dismay, she didn’t care. She wanted so desperately to hear him say it back, to take her in his arms, to hold her and love her the way she’d always wanted him to, even if it wasn’t realistic.

But she still hoped.

“JJ.” Spencer’s usual soft cadence broke the tense silence of the break room as he stood in the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets, his shoulders hunched and his eyes trained intently on her. JJ felt her heart speed up. Was this it? Was her outlandish fantasy not so outlandish after all? She watched him, absorbed him. His big brown eyes as he gazed at her, the familiar pinch in his brow, his messy curls that always looked so unfairly soft.

Spencer took a few steps forward, but he didn’t get as close as she wanted him to, maintaining a respectful distance, and JJ felt the familiar ache of yearning. Closer, she begged internally. Please.

“Yes?” She finally opted as a response, the glint in her eyes betraying the growing feeling of excitement. She knew Spencer quite well, or she thought she did, and he certainly seemed nervous. Nervous enough for a confession.

“I have something to tell you.” Spencer finally said, one of his hands pulling something she couldn’t see from under his collar, attached to the chain of a necklace, and rubbing his thumb over it in a self-soothing motion. “I should have told you before.”

This was it, JJ thought to herself, her inner voice was almost squealing with excitement. Her breath caught in anticipation, and a smile began to grow on her face.

“I know.” She said, perhaps rather presumptuously, too impatient for him to say it, and she said those oh-so-dangerous words once again. “I love you too.”

The air hung between them for a moment, and when Spencer didn’t say it back, JJ’s smile began to fade. Oh no. Was she too presumptuous? Was Spencer not ready to say it? Had she ruined everything? Oh god, what if he was already in a relationship?

“No.” Spencer shook his head, a frown creasing his features in a way that made JJ’s stomach twist uncomfortably. “JJ, I’m married.”

JJ’s heart stopped. Her worst fear confirmed. No. No…that didn’t make sense, where was the ring? She’d never met his spouse, he’d never spoken of them. Was this a trick? A lie? Surely he was kidding. He’d break out into his infectious smile and say it back, any time now.

“I’ve been married for years. And I love them more than anything.” His hand opened and he showed JJ the wedding ring, noticing her bewilderment. “I wear it around my neck so I don’t lose it. It’s easier to hide from prying eyes that way.”

JJ felt as though she were listening to him speak underwater, her head swimming with confusion, with anger, with grief. No, no, no. This wasn’t fair. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted something for myself.” Spencer’s face was still marred by a frown, and he tucked the ring necklace back under his collar. “You’re not entitled to know about every part of my life.”

It wasn’t fair to him, but this made JJ angrier, and she began to speak before thinking. “Who is it? Some…some stand in for me? I know you felt something for me once! They’re just a replacement because you couldn’t have me!”

To say Spencer was shocked by her outburst was the understatement of the century. The gentleness and patience he often associated with JJ had seemingly vanished, morphing into bitterness, lashing out from embarrassment and jealousy.

JJ looked past Spencer for a moment, and locked eyes with you. You. Of course. How had she been so blind? Of course it was you who had snatched Spencer up, who’d taken his affection for yourself.

You were staring her down, brow furrowed deeply and gaze sharp with a glare. You’d been listening in. Spencer had told you he wanted to deal with this on his own, and you respected his wishes…but that didn’t mean you weren’t weighing the consequences of throwing your stapler at her.

“They’re not a replacement.” That rare, dangerous edge to Spencer’s voice made it’s return, this time directed at JJ, which had never happened before. “I had a crush on you, what, ten years ago? That’s all. That’s it. Nothing more.”

He stepped closer to JJ, brow deeply furrowed and a darkness in his eyes that made her shrink, her insults dying in her throat.

“I’m a patient man, so I’ll only warn you once. Don’t ever talk about them like that again. You don’t want to find out what will happen the next time.”

The mosh frightening part was that his threat could be entirely genuine. Prison had changed him, rage festered in him like a disease, a rage that hadn’t existed before. And he was clever, so very clever, he didn’t need to lay a finger on JJ to hurt her. He never would.

Spencer abruptly left the break room, storming out of the bullpen, and you quickly followed, too worried about him to bother giving JJ one last withering glare. Although it did cross your mind.

It took a bit of searching, but you found him in the men’s bathroom. His hands clutched the counter, his tie loose, his head hung over the sink. You frown, hearing his deep breaths as he tried to calm himself.

You slowly approach before wrapping your arms around his waist from behind, and he meets your gaze in the mirror, his muscles noticeably relaxing beneath your hold, his grip on the counter loosening as lets out a heavy sigh.

He turns in your arms until he can hold you properly, his chin resting atop your head, the two of you gently swaying side to side as you hold each other. His eyes slip closed in a moment of peace, and he dips his head slightly to press a kiss to your forehead.

“So…you threatened JJ for me?” Despite the question, you keep your tone playful, trying to lighten the mood and you hear Spencer groan.

“You heard that?” He mumbled, shame causing his cheeks to burn. He knew he’d stepped over a line, and he regretted it, but a part of him didn’t. A part of him thought it was deserved.

“Yup. And I know I shouldn’t encourage that, but it was very sweet that you stood up for me…and a bit of a turn on. Just so you know.” Not letting go of him, you tilt your head up to meet his eyes, smiling up at him, taking joy in his surprised laugh and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners.

“I suppose I’ll have to keep that in mind.” His tone was warm, affectionate, watching you intently as you straightened his tie for him, the grin fading into a soft smile.

“You know that JJ was wrong, right? None of that stuff she said is true.” He worried that maybe you’d taken her words to heart—or worse, that it was something you truly believed long before today.

“I know.” You smile up at him, hands moving from his tie to rest on his chest, the fabric of his suit jacket smooth beneath your palms. “You gonna be okay?”

“I’ll be alright.” Spencer assured you, but his fingers curled lightly around your wrists, pulling you back into him, placing a soft kiss on your lips before resting his cheek on top of your head. “I’d just like to stay like this for a few more minutes.”

“I can work with that.”

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

Dew has the hots for Swiss being bigger than him, pass it on.

Realistically, Dew is aware that Swiss is bigger than him.

Oh, it's not to say that the fire ghoul can't overpower him, or someone else bigger than him, he has before. Simply, Swiss is built completely differently ; taller, wider chest and shoulders, thicker limbs, bigger hands. Dew knows that.

It's one thing to know it, though, and an entirely different one to really feel it.

It all started pretty innocently, really. They were watching a movie - a rare good modern horror movie, one that had them totally engrossed in it. Dew had been leaning against Swiss, and attempted to steal some pop(e)corn from the multi's bowl, since his own was long empty.

Before he could take his hands out of it, though, Swiss had grabbed both his wrists in one hand, his grip unyielding despite Dew's protests and squirming. Fuck, Swiss didn't even look away from the screen, fingers clasping Dew's delicate bones gently but firmly.

With a shudder, Dew realized that Swiss' fingers still overlapped around both his wrists.

And now this knowledge is haunting Dew. Images of Swiss holding him down, one hand splayed over his stomach - surely big enough to cover a large part of it - the other pinning Dew's wrist above his head are invading his dreams, leaving him to wake up drenched and panting.

It doesn't get better, when Swiss unknowingly adds more fuel to the raging lust consuming Dew. Moving him around by the waist when he's standing in his way, fingers just shy of touching ? Drapping himself over Dew's back, covering his whole body with his own so easily you wouldn't even know Dew is there if you were to stand behind them ? Dew is not built to deal with that.

So when Swiss makes a off-handed comment about being able to fit Dew's entire ass in his hand, the fire ghoul has had enough. He needs Swiss on top of him yesterday, and he's going to get him.

The multi ghoul yelps when he is abruptly dragged out of the room by what looks like a very pissed off Dewdrop.

"Hey, Dewy, easy, what's wrong ?"

And of course Swiss wraps his hand around Dew's arm. The fire ghoul feels his knees weaken.

"Swiss, I swear to Satan, you are the bane-" Dew throws the door of his room open and slams it shut behind them, "-of my fucking existence, you know that ?"

Confusion floods Swiss' features. It's short-lived, though, because Dew yanks him on top of him, both of them boucing on the mattress with the strenght of it.

"Wha- Dew ?"

For a moment, Dew's not sure what to say, then Swiss settles a hand on his ribs, fingers splaying unbelievably far, and the fire ghoul's eyes fall helplessly there, pupils expending, jaw falling open.

Swiss, bless him, catches on quickly. His eyebrows climb up his forehead, a delighted grin splitting his face in two.

"Oh, what's that ?"

Dew glares the best he can.

"Shut the fuck up and crush me."

"Gladly."

[eempyreall]

♪ 𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝐼𝑡 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑦 𝐴𝑠ℎ𝑛𝑖𝑘𝑘𝑜 ♪

༺ False Mission ༻

Oneshot ~ Jujutsu Kaisen x Female Reader

Summary ~ You were sent on a mission to conquer Gojo and Sukuna, two uncontrollable omegas who defied the natural order of your world.

Featuring ~ Gojo Satoru and Sukuna Ryomen

Extra Notes ~ Slight big girl battle for sure. This is the hardest shit I’ve ever written ngl. Had to look up techniques and everything.

This is my first jjk fic so think of this as like a test.

This story should only be posted under eempyreall on my tumblr, ao3, subscribestar, and patreon. Report if you see it posted under anyone else but me.

l apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Warning ~

You and the characters are 21+. Although I picture the reader as a black cis-gendered female, physical appearance will not be described at all.

Content within this story may not be realistic or factual.

I do not condone any of the behavior displayed within the story.

There may be dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit content, sexual content, etc.

That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

You walked through the destructive ruins of the small city nearby, analyzing the broken-down structures of buildings and detecting the smell of burnt debris and rubble. You came from the University of Jujutsu, assigned to this mission as one of the top alpha scholars of your district.

Suddenly, your eyes narrowed, and your feet halted in place as the hairs on your skin stood tall. You inhaled a distant scent of smoldering incense and charred wood, though the smell of iron was faintly present.

An eerie silence filled the atmosphere as you cautiously examined your surroundings. Although the area was vacant of any life, you couldn’t help but feel the ghostly presence of a watchful gaze. A breeze you hadn’t noticed before suddenly swiped across the skin of your arms, layering goosebumps through your hair follicles.

You sucked in a sharp breath, abruptly lifting your body from the ground and balancing on your hands in a swift backflip before landing on your feet. A loud burst of laughter echoed through the ambience as you cursed from the slashes that lined your arms and cheek.

Damn, that hurts.

Your attention was brought to the broad man who stood before you. You studied the form of his bare torso, the dark symbols that lined his arms and were drawn on his chest. He stood tall, claws out as he curled his fingers into fists before releasing them. His pink hair flared at the top of his head. Dark strokes layered the skin of his face, adding to the intimidation of his predatory gaze.

“Idiot alpha. You think you can handle me?” he grinned, the tone of his voice low and taunting.

Despite the tightness in your chest, you scoffed. “That’s supposed to be my line,” you responded, voice dripping with sarcasm and slight annoyance. “You think throwing a tantrum and fucking up a city ought to scare me?”

A brief flash of shock appeared on his face before his lips curled in amusement, eyes narrowing at your form before he released another cackle. “Oh, you’re an interesting little alpha. Let’s see what you can do.”

A flash surged toward you at an unbelievable speed, using his cursed energy as fiery blades as he aimed to slice through your skin once more—but you were ready. You used your curse technique to form an invisible shield, manipulating your own energy field as a barrier to use against his physical attack.

Sukuna became slightly stunned at your resistance after landing, but not for long. He immediately used his strength to attack you endlessly with the burning flames, slashes coming left and right as you continued to manipulate your own energy to defend yourself against the strikes.

He’s too fast! I need to attack!

You held your hands out, waiting for the right moment to execute your offense as the barrier you created absorbed the energy of Sukuna’s flamed hits, sucking in the power before growing into a large mass of fire and using your strength to reflect the impact against him.

This caused a minimal explosion, projecting both of you through the air as you landed through the remains of a building. You groaned, coughing as the fumes of discarded matter reached your lungs. You could feel the ache in your back as you attempted to lift yourself from the rubble.

Your plan worked, but at what cost? You tried to figure out how your own power deflected against you, a situation that had never occurred prior to this battle.

“Oh? Tired already? But I just got here,” another male’s voice caught your attention, the tone laced with playfulness.

As the vapor dissipated, a man stood tall amongst the opening of the broken wall. A sharp scent of mint and vanilla annexed the area prominently. Your eyes shifted to the figure ahead of you. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, glasses concealing his eyes as white strands fell over his forehead.

Suddenly, the man disappeared before you felt a presence right next to your sitting form. The white-haired man crouched in front of your vision. His face leaned against the palm of his hand, elbow propped on a knee with a smile curled on his expression.

“That’s an interesting technique you’ve got there,” he stated casually, reaching a hand over to flick a piece of dust that was stuck to your cheek, causing you to flinch away before you shot up to your feet.

Before you could plan an attack, a clawed hand gripped your wrist before your feet dangled above the ground.

“What do you think, Sukuna? This your type of alpha?” The pale-haired man smirked with a finger over his chin.

“What the hell are you talking about? Put me down!” you commanded, confusion underlying your tone.

“She’ll have to do,” he shrugged with a lazy smirk.

You were unaware that the mission you were sent on was just an offering from the dean and governor to make peace between the overpowered omegas and alpha-conquered society.

You weren’t actually picked as the best scholar to defeat the males; you were just a sacrifice sent as a test of choice, considering they killed the last alphas out of disinterest.

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

WRITER SARA HESS TALKING ABOUT RHAENYRA AND ALICENT'S RELATIONSHIP IN SEASON 1 AND THEIR MOTHERHOOD FOR VARIETY MAGAZINE.

“I can definitely understand that it’s hot watching complex female characters who have agency and who are trying to navigate the world and understand themselves. Like, that is hot,” nonbinary actor D’Arcy says.

“And is very different from, I suppose, more two-dimensional portrayals of female sexuality.” 

Cooke adds: “I guess what’s alluring, and quite scintillating, is that they all live in quite close proximity to each other,” noting “House of the Dragon” Season 1’s focus on keeping its characters near the Iron Throne in King’s Landing.

“Stealing these loaded looks with someone that you fancy and that’s forbidden, that’s hot. It’s all hot.”

“We had a lot of conversation at the beginning about, is this a feature or a flaw?” Hess says.

“There’s a lot of births, do we want to see a lot of births? My thinking was, every single childbirth I’ve ever seen on television, in any show, in any genre at any time, has always looked exactly the same: the woman lying on her back with her feet in the stirrups and doing the pushing and the baby comes out.”

“In my experience, women give birth in vastly different ways.”

“I thought we should show them all and they be really, really different, separate experiences and not just, now there’s that birth scene and we all know exactly what it looks like.”

FOLLOWING THE BIRTH SCENE IN EPISODE 6, D'ARCY RECALLS SHOOTING A PARTICULARLY REALISTIC MOMENT OF MOTHERHOOD WHEN RHAENYRA FINALLY GETS TO REST AFTER GIVING BIRTH AND IMMEDIATELY GOING OFF TO SHOW THE BABY TO ALICENT:

“She gets in and [her sons] Jace and Luke have gone and got a dragon’s egg and want her to look at it.”

“And I just remember responding, ‘Wow, that looks perfect,’ but not looking at them at all, I was looking in the other direction.

“And that felt like what a lot of parenting is probably like.”

FOR COOKE, THE MOTHERHOOD MENTALITY HIT IN EPISODE 9, WRITTEN BY HESS AND DIRECTED BY CLARE KILNER:

“That moment in the carriage where Alicent’s hungover son asks her if she loves him, and she says it by smiling and saying, ‘You imbecile.’

“Like, it’s so obvious, this is all for you.”

“Everything that I’ve done.”

“Everything that I’ve sacrificed.”

“All the awful things I’ve done in order to facilitate your ascension is because I love the bones of you.”

BUT MOTHERHOOD IS FAR FROM THE ONLY ASPECT OF A WOMAN'S LIFE THAT FEMALE WRITERS LIKE HESS AND WOMEN DIRECTORS INCLUDING KILNER AND PATEL INFUSED INTO THE STORY, WITH MUCH OF THE SEASON FOCUSING ON YOUNG ALICENT (EMILY CAREY) AND RHAENYRA (MILLY ALCOCK) AND THEIR DEEP BOND AND INTENSE FALLING OUT.

“There’s an element of queerness to it,” Hess says.

“Whether you see it that way or as just the unbelievably passionate friendships that women have with each other at that age.”

“I think understanding that element of it sort of informs the entire rest of their relationship… Even though they’re driven apart by all these societal, systemic elements and pressures and happenings, at the core of it, they knew each other as children, and they loved each other and that doesn’t go away.”

Hess continued: “Olivia has told me she believes — and this is her headcanon — that they at some point kissed or made out or had some kind of physical interaction that Alicent’s mother found out about and forbade.”

“And that was Olivia’s head story, ‘Oh, I can’t do that. That’s not right.’ And that’s the background for her in their relationship going forward. I would be 100% down with that.”

COOKE SAYS SHE AND D'ARCY HAVE “DEFINITELY” TALKED ABOUT ALICENT AND RHAENYRA BEING “EACH OTHER'S FIRST LOVE”:

“But when it comes to our iterations of the characters, too much has happened and too much time has passed to probably even recognize those fledgling feelings.”

“But Condal and Hess weren’t “necessarily interested in ever defining” what that love meant in terms of the women’s sexuality.”

“I happen to be a queer woman, but I know straight women who had ‘Heavenly Creatures’ -esque, romantic friendship with their best friend at that age,” Hess said.

“That’s something that I think, probably — I don’t want to stereotype anybody – but it seems to be more a phenomenon with young women than it is with men, probably because whether you’re queer or not, society cares less if you’re physically intimate with each other or hugging or touching each other.”

“You can have sleepovers and sleep in the same bed and nobody cares.”

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Featuring Eiselcross and Aeor: A Fanfiction Rec List

This week, we have Eiselcross/Aeor! Check under the cut for 7 fics that are set in the strange and icy land of Eiselcross, and don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!

Like a Steel Trap by kaeda (12519, Explicit)

Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek figures out just how much Caleb knows (and just how much that turns him on).

Reccer says: Elaborates on the Kryn culture and capitalizes on the feats that make Caleb just that much extra. Just two wizards seducing each other with their brains.

In the Dark with No Stars to Guide by Somestreptomyces (46532, Teen)

Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek hopes to learn more about Caleb as they travel through Aeor together.

Reccer says: It's a great fic that pays a lot of attention to the worldbuilding and journeying, with a lot of introspection combined in with it. It's a really wonderful, cozy and longer read!

Like the love that discovered the sin by bloodredribbon (4960, Explicit)

Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

"When the wizards meet up in Aeor, Essek is woefully underdressed for the weather. Out of concern for his Kryn-friend's extremities, Caleb offers to help, with unforeseen (horny) consequences."

Reccer says: I liked it!

Hold Me Close, Cut Me Deep by CatgirlTheCrazy (14192, Mature)

Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Whilst investigating in Aeor, Essek gets Charmed by an Incubus wearing Caleb's face. The real Caleb goes to desperate lengths to save him

Reccer says: The best kind of whump, with a really sweet ending. It hurts so good!

Through The Frightening Door by Prolix (228,371 (but ongoing; currently at 34/40 ch), Explicit)

Reccer's Content Notes: canon typical violence, i’d say — so if that’s graphic, then graphic, but i wouldn’t say it’s more so than anything else

Post-C2 longfic. Ongoing. Essek POV. The classic Aeor exploration slow burn relationship study genre of fic, but the highest degree of Aeor exploration & slow burn & relationship study conceivable.

Reccer says: look. i’ve read a lot of shadowgast, and i’m picky about my shadowgast to boot. this is honestly the best characterization of their dynamic, the most interesting depiction of aeor, and the most well-written work i can remember reading — and there are some good fics out there, too! but prolix might solo em all for me, and the fic is not even done yet! if you’re someone who looks for legitimately good writing (like actually legitimately very good!!!), realistic, thoughtful characterization of both our boys (and the cameos we get of the other nein) and how they develop post campaign, an in-depth relationship study that lets things grow naturally and doesn’t manufacture drama/angst when unnecessary in order to rush OR delay developments unbelievably, as well as a frankly disconcertingly fleshed out version of aeor w/ insanely detailed, unique, innovative, meaningful, and thorough world-building, go read this fic. go now. it’s still updating! get in on the ground floor!

Snowed In in Aeor by bardlock (1133, Mature)

Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

While trekking through Aeor, Essek and Eadwulf get separated from Caleb and have to spend the night together when they’re out of spell slots to Teleport. It gives Essek plenty of time to think about the situation… and Eadwulf is no stranger to having to cuddle up with others for warmth.

Reccer says: The fic is a WIP, but I’m loving the previews that have been posted in AifL! The first chapter alone has me really excited for this fic, and I’m really intrigued by this exploration of Bren/Eadwulf vs. Caleb/Essek through Essek’s viewpoint of it.

The following fic received two recs!

Gravity, and all that's born within by SkyScribbles (163598, Teen)

Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Wizards returning to Aeor and realising not everything is as they left it while coming to terms with everything that has happened between them.

Reccer 1 says: I really enjoy the way the relationship develops, and the fantastic original characters.

Reccer 2 says: Quite literally my favourite fic I’ve ever read. The characters are perfectly voiced and the antagonists are complex and deep. The writing is so incredibly smart, it stands with the source material in terms of depth and development. I reread it every couple of months!

This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation.

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring fics from Caleb's POV!

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

[swisccfinds]

TOP 5 MUST HAVE Sims 4 Career Mods

These are my most personal Career mods for the sims 4, please don't forget to show love and support to the creators.

1- Youtube Career Mod by itsmeTroiYT

There is so many interactions with this mod it is unbelievable! If you head to the download button below it will bring you to the creator's post which will show all the type of things you can do with this mod but for now to keep the Tumblr photo limit here is some of the creator's notes that explain the levels and the branches

Gamer (6-10) PC Noob $100/hr Streamer $200/hr Daily Uploader $300/hr Tagline Genius $600/hr Prestige Gamer $1500/hr

Vlogger (6-10) Viner $100/hr Prank Wars Vlogger $200/hr Unbox Therapy $300/hr Vlogger $600/hr Daily Vlogger $1600/hr

DIY Hot Glue Gun Mess $250/hr Creative Weirdo $350/hr Hacks Master $600/hr DIY Superstar $650/hr [Something] DIY $1500/hr

MUA Fenty Beauty Counter Rep $200/hr Brand Tester $300/hr Makeup Brand Collab $350/hr Personal Makeup Artist $750/hr MUA $1500/hr

Cooking One Pan Cook $150/hr Made from TV/Movies $300/hr Remixed Recipe Cook $345/hr Guest Host Cook $625/hr Master Cook $1500/hr

FX Makeup Artist NYX Face Awards $120/hr Halloween Royalty $200/hr FX on a Budget $350/hr Workshop Personality $645/hr Glam & Gore $1450/hr

download

2- Modeling Career Mod by KPC0528

This is an amazing mod! If you want your sim to become a model this is the mod for you! This does require the City living & Get Famous expansion packs, so be aware. Here are the creator's notes about the levels and branches;

1. Volunteer Model--there is no pay for the beginning of this career. I wanted to make it as realistic as possible, so level 1 is all about building a portfolio and gaining exposure.  Mood: Confident M - W - F S S

2. Local Model -- Your sim will be part of the "mall crowd" participating in local fashion shows. These jobs aren't very selective... $15/hr.  Skills: Charisma 1  Mood: Confident - T - T F S S

3. Hand Model-- Keep those hands soft and supple as your sims model rings, bracelets, and watches for local jewelry designers!  $18/hr.  Skills: Charisma 2 Mood: Confident - T - T F S S

4. Hair Model-- Cutting, coloring, styling. Your Sims's hair will be put through it all in exchange for some simoleons and their pictures to be featured in hair dressers' portfolios.  $20/hr.  Skills: Charisma 3, Fitness 3 Mood: Confident - T - T F S S 

Choose track: Commercial Model or High Fashion Model

Commercial Model track: Commercial models are the models you would see in shopping catalogs and local commercials. The sim-next-door look is desired, so your sim will need attractive looks as well as an attractive personality to do well in this career track. 

5. Commercial Catalog Model--Your sim will be showcasing the newest collections by the most popular stores, like Sim Navy and JC Simmy.  $50/hr.  Skills: Charisma 4, Fitness 4 Mood: Confident M T W - F S -

6. Fitness Model-- Fitness is the name of the game here. Your sim must continue to sculpt his/her body to perfection in order to sell the newest workout gear and sports drinks.  $65/hr.  Skills: Charisma 5, Fitness 7 Mood: Energetic M T W T - S - 

7. Social Media Model-- Your sim's face is getting popular online! He/she will be modeling the hottest makeup, jewelry, and clothing through various social media platforms like Simstagram.  $80/hr.  Skills: Charisma 7 Mood: Confident - - W - F S S 

8. Music Video Model-- Who wouldn't want to be a model in a famous music video? Your sim must hone in their dance skills so they don't embarrass themselves in front of the musical superstars.... $90/hr.  Skills: Charisma 8, Dancing 3 Mood: Confident M T - T F S - 9. Television Model-- Television! Your sim will be featured on all sorts of commercials, from clothing and perfume, to cookware and living room furniture. $130/hr.  Skills: Charisma 10 Mood: Confident M T W - F S -

10. Coversim-- The ultimate goal! Your sim is on every grocery store magazine rack, dishing the newest gossip about his/her love life, as well as modeling the hippest designs. Congrats, superstar!  $300/hr.  Mood: Confident M T W - F S - 

High Fashion Model track: This track is for the serious fashionista. In order to gain celebrity as a high fashion model, your sim must be both gorgeous and interesting, as well as charismatic and athletic. Reaching the end of this track means worldwide fame and luxury! 5. Swimsuit Model-- Swimsuit models are photographed even in the winter months, so this isn't just for fun! Your sim must be in excellent shape to make it as a swimsuit model.  $55/hr.  Skills: Charisma 5, Fitness 6 Mood: Flirty M T W - F S - 

6. Lingerie Model-- No room for shy sims here! Upscale lingerie is a mega-money-making business, so only the most alluring sims will be successful.  $75/hr.  Skills: Charisma 6, Fitness 8 Mood: Flirty M T W - F S - 

7. Fashion Catalog Model-- High-end fashion is extremely expensive, so the stakes are high. Your sim must continue to perfect his/her body and personality in order to sell these interesting-looking clothes in the highest end fashion magazines.  $90/hr.  Skills: Charisma 7, Fitness 9 Mood: Confident M T - T F S -

8. Runway Model--Don't trip! All eyes are on your sim as he/she struts their stuff on the catwalk. Sims watching and cameras flashing can be nerve-wracking for even the most confident sim, but this is a necessary step in order to become a supermodel.  $120/hr. Skills: Charisma 8, Fitness 10 Mood: Confident - T W - F S S 

9. Editorial Model--Sim Vogue. Your sim is on the cover, looking fierce as fierce can be! Your sim is the epitome of a style icon, and everyone is looking at him/her for style inspiration.  $300/hr.  Skills: Charisma 10 Mood: Confident M T W - F S -

10. International Supermodel--Traveling the world for fashion shows? Check. Hosting reality style shows? Check. Getting paid to be famous? Check. Your sim is THE top model, as long as a newer, hotter thing doesn't come around.  $450/hr. Mood: Confident M - W - - S - 

download

3- Social Services Career Mod by missmani09

This is a great mod if your interested in having your sim work in social services for a backstory or maybe its just what you mapped out they would be in your head. Here are some of the creator's notes about this mod;

Social Serivices:

1) Clerical Staff Extra Help  -Responsible for copying and filing documents, sorting documents

2) Administrative Specialist I  -answer phones, answer client's questions, file, sort

3) Administrative Specialist II -Key application, answer telephones, work front desk window correspond emails

4) Administrative Specialist Supervisor  Supervise all clerical staff ensure front desk runs smoothly ensure applications are keyed correctly ensure office machinery is working properly assign staff job duties

------------------------------------------------------------ ---(AA) ---- Division of Sim County Operations ------- ----------------------------------------------------------

5A) Program Eligibilty Specialist I  - SNAP Process Sim food stamp program applications.  Interview & verify resources Assist homeless sims Determine eligibilty for supplemental nutrition program

6A) Program Eligbiliy Specialist II Process sim program applications Determine eligibilty for Sim daycare voucher applications Determine eligibilty for supplemental nutrition program

7A) Family Health Care Case Manager  -Family Medicaid Process Sims' medicaid applications.  Determine medical coverage eligibilty for Sims including  Working Sims' medical coverage, SimKids Care A or SimKids Care B

8A) Aged Sim Health Care Case Manager  Process Aged, Retired, and Disabled elder sims' medicare applications Determine disability 

9A) Sim Social Services County Administrator  oversee especific sim world in which sim currently lives

10A) Sim Social Services National Director  oversee all sim worlds

----------------------------------------------------------------

---(BB) Division of Child Protective Services -------------------------------------------------------------- job is to protect and ensure the health, safety, and well being off all sim children.

5B) Child Protective Service Worker  Visit homes. Provide struggling parents with resources and tools to become effective parents. Remove children from home if necessary to the  childs health & safety

6B) Child Abuse&Neglect Investigator  visit homes. on call rotation investigate suspected sim child neglect/abuse that comes into the hotline issue warnings to parent's who a nearing neglectful standards Remove children from home if necessary to the  childs health & safety

7B) Foster Care Case Manager  On call rotation. Manage Sim children's cases who have been removed from their home due to neglect/abuse. write extensive case notes

8B) Adoption Specialist  process adoption applications. match waiting foster children and  place into adoptive home

9B) Sim County CPS Supervisor Oversee foster care and CPS case managers 

10B) Sim CPS National Director 

download

4- Psychologist Career mod by Kittyblue

This is career mod is actually my favorite for storytelling! In this mod there are two branches which are Counseling Psychology and Forensic Psychologist.

download

5- Tattoo Artist Career mod by MesmericSimmer

I love this one so much, mainly because I want one of my sim's backstory to include this career. They have this career option for both adults and teens!

download & more info

[euphor1a]

Bewitched (ii)

↬ pairing: bad boy!yeonjun x good girl!oc

↬ characters: loner bad boy!yeonjun, heartthrob!soobin, best friend!beomgyu, female oc (can be read as f!reader too) + a few supporting characters.

↬ genre: college!au, bad boy!au, slow burn, drama, strangers to lovers, smut, a bit of unrequited love.

↬ summary: After starting college, you never really imagined that you’ll cross paths with Choi Yeonjun — the loner bad boy with influences. But life is full of surprises, ain’t it?

↬ rating & word count: 18+ ; ~2.8K

↬ warnings: profanity, explicit description of f!masturbation, minor fainting.

↬ disclaimer: this is fictional and doesn’t reflect any of their actions or personality!

↬ previous 𓍯 series masterlist

↬ a/n: my apologies because it’s actually been ages since i posted the part one. thank you so much for your patience! we’re back <3

Lying flat on your bed, you gaze at the ceiling, watching the fan rotate tirelessly. It keeps going round and round. Unironically, it resembles the thoughts churning inside your head somehow. But, you’re not some machinery, and it’s draining you out.

Inhaling a deep breath, you close your eyes for the first time in a while, tilting your head sideways. It would be so nice if you could just turn off your brain. You let yourself sink into the mattress and pillow as your hands turn into loose fists.

It’s been five days. 5 freaking days, 120 hours, 7,200 minutes, 432,000 seconds since you last saw Daniel. Maybe you sound obsessed, crazy even. But isn’t it his fault? No cause, how dare he barge into your life like a tornado and flip every unsaid rule you used to follow? It doesn’t even end there. 

You feel intoxicated. You can’t get the thought of him out of your head, for the love of God. The soft crinkles on his face when he smiles, how his eyes sparkle, the enticing smell of his cologne, his hands all over your body, how his tongue felt against your core, the way he devoured your mouth—

Gosh, you need to stop. Catch a fucking break. This is getting way out of your hands. You’ve never been so distracted your whole life. And you hate the fact that he has so much power over you. He, who is just a random guy you met twice on the same day coincidentally and crossed a few lines with. Just?! Why?! Can’t?! You?! Get?! Over?! Him?!

You open your eyes, your eyebrows furrowed and lips tugged down in a frown. As your eyes mindlessly wander towards the ceiling fan once again, the events of that damned day start playing in front of your eyes. Was it really a coincidence? Or maybe a sick joke your life played with you? 

After he dropped you to your home that night, you had hoped to see more of him. But instead, Daniel just simply vanished into thin air. You’ve been trying to find him everyday in your breaks, sometimes even missing classes. Unbelievable, right? Too bad that it’s the very unfortunate truth.

But did that help in any shape or form? Nope. If he’s been around, you’d have definitely noticed!! As much as you hate to admit it, he’s insanely handsome. Daniel’s striking features will stand out anywhere, and in your case — it’s literally imprinted on your mind.

With a sigh, you close your eyes. Not to sound like a hopeless romantic, but a part of you hopes that he’ll be here to meet you soon. Like, he literally has your address!! But, on the realistic side of things, that is very unlikely to happen. 

Soon enough, the thought of Daniel envelops you in a warm feeling, your heart racing faster, your mind starting to play tricks with you. You briefly remember how his clothed bulge felt against your core, a soft whimper escaping you. Oh, how badly you needed to feel him deep inside you at that specific moment… 

You shake your head immediately, trying to clear your mind. What the hell are you doing? Fantasizing about a guy who just suddenly appeared one day and then vanished? You curse inwardly, feeling pathetic for being wrapped around his little finger. 

You hate this Daniel guy. Just one day and your feelings are all over the place. You barely spent a few hours with him, and you’re already so damn whipped. 

With a groan, you sit up, reaching for your phone that’s charging on the nightstand. You’re shocked to see several messages from Beomgyu… Did something happen?

Gyu: haiiii 🥰 

Gyu: bestie?! 👁️👄👁️ 

Gyu: HELLO?!?!?!?!?!?!? 

Gyu: OMFG, ____ R U OK 😭 

Gyu: :( 3 hours… you never take so long to reply 🥺 

Gyu: did i upset you in any way? 

Gyu: won’t tease you anymore… pls talk to me :( imy :( 

A sigh escapes you. Even though a part of you wants to be irritated, you really can’t. Because as you look at the time, you realize that you’ve been zoning out for nearly four hours. Of course, he’s worried, you’d be the same if you were in his shoes. 

____: Gyu 😭 no ofc not! Why would I be mad at you? 

Gyu: THANK GOD YOU REPLIED, I PANICKED NGL 

Gyu: ahem… anyway, why weren’t you responding then? 

____: Sorry, I was busy with smth :/ 

Gyu: really? for 4 hours? 🤥

____: … I was working on an assignment

Gyu: right… but you already submitted the one you had and no one assigned anything new

____: WHY DO I TELL YOU EVERY FUCKING THING GODDAMMIT 

Gyu: watch your language, princess 🤨

____: 🙄

Gyu: anyway lol, since you won’t tell me, let me take a WILD guess

Gyu: daydreaming about that mystery stranger again, are you? 🤡

____: …..

Gyu: yeah, ik 

____: You don’t understand….. 

Gyu: what???? 😩

____: Nothing…

Gyu: 😐

Gyu: see, this is the problem! you won’t even tell me his damn name! how am i supposed to help you out? 🤷‍♂️

____: It’s complicated 😭, I’d tell you otherwise :( 

____: You know that I’d never hide something from you if it’s harmless, right?

Gyu: WAIT 🤯😱

____: ????

Gyu: is he…. like a mafia? 😳

____: Aight imma just head out 

Gyu: sorry…

Gyu: umm it’s pretty late so have some good sleep and let’s meet on monday 🥺

Frustration bubbles up in your chest and you drop your phone by your side. A nap? Sleeping in this state? Fuck no. You need to ease yourself somehow.  

After debating what you should do for a while, you slowly take off the oversized sweatshirt you’re wearing. Starting to caress your sensitive skin, you whimper, your hands brushing on your inner thighs, your sides, your neck… anywhere it can reach. Once you feel the material of your cotton panties dampening up, you grab the vibrator from your bedside drawer. 

Because you’ve been thinking almost too much about Daniel and everything that he did to you, it’s very easy to picture him all over you. The device hums to life, and you waste no time to place it over your clothed clit. You jolt a little at the contact, overwhelmed by the sensations immediately. 

You wish it was him. For some reason, you just know that Daniel would love to use a vibrator on you, watching you cry and whine pathetically, begging for him as you fall apart quickly. You tweak your nipple with your spare hand, heat blazing through your body as you inch closer to a release. 

“Look at you, making a mess of yourself while thinking about me. Aren’t you cute?” His voice drifts in your ears, a whimper rumbling in your throat. “Just a little more, angel, you’re so close. Doing so well.” 

You unconsciously scream out ‘Daniel’ in relief as the orgasm finally hits you. With shaky hands, you turn off the vibrator, falling back on the bed. Your breaths are uneven and quick, thighs shaking from the aftermath. It takes you a while to regain composure. 

With a sigh, you get up and head straight to the bathroom, discarding your panties that are entirely ruined, drenched in your arousal and release. As the mildly warm spray of water finally hits your skin, you close your eyes, a plethora of emotions bubbling up in your chest. A lone tear trails down your cheek, followed by numerous ones that get lost within the water coming from the shower head.

Shame. You feel ashamed.

On Monday, 

You manage your way through the crowded cafeteria, looking for your friends. Some acquaintances beam and wave at you, but you barely offer them a small smile and a nod. You aren’t feeling your best today either, running on a very small amount of sleep and mood swings to top it off. Dealing with yourself is pretty tiring, especially when your emotions are all over the place.

A sudden feeling of someone’s gaze behind your back makes you halt. You turn around, letting your eyes roam over the tables behind you. Everyone seems to be minding their own business, as they should. Taking a deep breath, you go back to finding Beom-binnie. 

“____! Here!” Gyu’s voice takes your attention, a genuine smile blooming on your face automatically. You jog across the room to where they’re sitting, both of them standing up to wrap you up in a hug. You cozy up a lil’ in the comfortable warmth of them, the loud beating of Soobin’s heart surprising you. Is he… nervous? 

You pull away first, looking at Soobin strangely. Beomgyu touches your forearm in a worried manner before speaking up, “Hey? Everything alright? Don’t tell me that you’re falling for the heartthrob.” His tone is playful as usual. 

Soobin blushes heavily, his ears turning red as he avoids eye contact with both of you. On the other hand, Gyu bursts out laughing, holding onto his stomach. Cute, you think, amazed by these two polar opposites that are somehow attached at the hip. 

You roll your eyes, smacking Beomgyu jokingly. He immediately scrunches up his face in ‘pain’, earning a glare from you. “Shut up, crackhead! I was just wondering why Soob’s heartbeat is so fast.”

Beomgyu throws his friend a knowing look. You quirk your eyebrows at their shared look before enquiring, “Are you two hiding something? No cause, what was that? Literally!” 

The tall giant stutters for a bit, but Beomgyu is quick to cover for him. “He’s meeting someone today.” 

“A date?” You tap your chin thoughtfully. Wondering what exactly it could be.

“No, no!!!” Soobin interrupts, coughing, clearly embarrassed by his sudden outburst. “I’m meeting the devil himself today… It’s been a while since our last meeting, so I’m just nervous, haha.” 

You blink at him, throwing your hands up. “Can we sit? My leg hurts.” Both of the guys nod, Gyu sliding beside you whereas Soobin sits on your opposite. 

“So? Who’s this ‘devil’?” You wiggle your eyebrows, trying to extract some juicy information.

Beomgyu looks at you, his eyes dark. “Yeonjun. Choi Yeonjun.” 

“Oh–” You know this name. You’ve heard people gossiping about this irresistibly charming ‘bad boy’. But you’ve never seen him in your life. 

“Soobin? Why do you need to meet with him?” You ask, slightly worried about your friend. Your impression of bad boys isn’t the best. 

“He’s… um– I need his help.” Soobin mumbles. 

“Why?” You press further.

“He’s a senior. He can help.” He answers, avoiding details.

“Oh yeah! No need to flex on us. Go meet with your cool seniors and stuff, me and ____ will be here.” Gyu chimes in, disrupting the heavy tension between you and Soobin.

You sigh, giving up. He clearly looks unwilling to talk about this more. “So when will you be meeting him?” you ask nonchalantly. 

“Near four pm, before leaving.” Soobin licks his dry lips, offering you a shaky smile.

You frown upon hearing the time, grumbling, “But… but we are supposed to hangout today!” 

Beomgyu pats your back, “Yeah, we were talking about it before you came. Soobin, tell us what you’re gonna do. If you’re not gonna come, then I’ll take her. She’s been sad lately.” 

Soobin’s face falls, his hand gripping yours as he talks in a gentle voice, “What happened, ____? Is everything alright?” 

You look at your joined hands, a pang of anger causing you to pull away. “Everything is fine. I don’t need anyone to worry about me.” 

“____...” Soobin sighs, looking at Beomgyu for help. 

“Hey it’s okay, shhh.” Gyu pulls you in his arms, your head resting on his shoulder. 

A long, uncomfortable silence stretches, the buzzing of the cafeteria fading away as you three stay trapped in the situation. 

“Okay, listen.” Soobin speaks up, his eyes focused on you. “Wait for me outside our favorite spot. I’ll be here… maybe a bit late but I’ll be there for sure.” 

Beomgyu smiles, “Good idea. No harm done, right miss universe?”

You pout at him, nodding and pulling away from his embrace. Your gaze finally meets Soobin, the hope glimmering in his eyes almost making you feel bad. 

“Mhm.” That’s all you say. 

In the evening, you find yourself with Beomgyu, walking together by the side of the quaint river. The streetlights illuminate the paved path as you take small steps. He’s the first one to break the silence. 

“So? Still thinking about that mystery guy?” 

You look up at him, your lips parting as a sigh escapes you. “... Yeah. You can say that.” 

“Can you at least tell me why you are thinking about this guy? Are you like, interested in him romantically?” 

You nod silently, looking at your feet shyly. Beomgyu claps your back, a smirk on his lips, “Great going, huh? Behind our back? So please tell me more about him. And, don’t stress it. I won’t ask his name if you’re that uncomfortable sharing.” 

You hesitate a bit, reaching out to squeeze his hand in gratitude. “I don’t really know… he has a fancy race car, and uh… ” You trail off, unsure what to say.

“Don’t tell me that you’re interested because of his car.” Gyu snorts, laughing at his own joke.

“No! It’s his vibes actually… he makes me feel, you know… things.” You can feel the blood rushing to your cheeks.

“Ooohhh.” He throws you a meaningful look, but you smack his forearm in return. 

“Pervert! Can’t you think straight?” A huff leaves you, and Beomgyu almost falls down laughing.

“Oh– oh my god! I meant it in the most innocent way possible! Holy shit, did you two… get down to business??” 

The thought of his mouth on your pussy comes back to you, and you hide your face in your hands instinctively.

“Ooof, that sure answers my question! Get it girl! My girl got laid, gosh I’m so happy!!” He hoots, and you swear you just want to strangle him. If only he wasn’t that much taller—

“No! We just kissed! Get your head out of the gutter!” You insist, not the biggest fan of Beomgyu’s enthusiasm about your sex-life. 

His smile falters. “Ehh... Boring. Just a kiss? Nothing else? Are you sure?” 

Before you can even mentally prepare yourself to fight him, the sound of a loud motorbike engine catches both of you off-guard. You turn to the side quickly, pulling Beomgyu with you. 

“Thank you once again, I really appreciate it!” Soobin’s voice makes you look back at where you were just standing. There he is, several feet away, talking to the stranger who just dropped him off here.

“Whoa… who’s this with the scary looking bike?” Beomgyu whispers in your ear, pointing towards the guy wearing a helmet. 

You shake your head out of uncertainty, watching them as Soobin hands the person the helmet he was wearing. 

“Thank you! Will meet you soon again!” 

The stranger nods, but then, he looks to the side, finally spotting you and Beomgyu. 

Color drains from your face, the person’s gaze meeting yours through the glass panel of helmet. You’re taken back to eight days before, those same eyes looking into yours, sparkling in the moonlight before he leans in for a kiss. 

Your heart skips a beat, and you feel yourself getting dizzy. Beomgyu, standing by your side with no clue, catches you before you can fall down. In the back of your mind, you can hear the sound of the bike fading away.

Your eyes flutter, consciousness slowly coming back to you. “Oh, I think she’s waking up,” you hear, opening your eyes to find yourself in Soobin’s arms. Beomgyu dabs your face with a wet paper towel, tension melting away from his handsome features when your eyes meet. 

“____! Thank god you’re up! Are you okay?? Should we call an ambulance?” 

You wave your hands, motioning him to stop. There’s a throbbing pain on your head. But still, you slowly sit up on the bench they had laid you down on, clearing your throat. After all, you have much more important things to take care of. 

“Soobin?” You whisper, your voice cracking. 

“Yeah?” He tucks away the messy locks behind your ear, his eyes so gentle that for a moment you forget your question. 

“Who was that guy with you? Do you mind sharing his contact info with me?” 

Soobin looks as if lightning struck him, his jaw dropping. “I’m sorry but are you mad?? What are you gonna do with Choi Yeonjun’s contact? I don’t have it either way but what the hell are you saying?” 

You gulp nervously, Beomgyu’s worried gaze trailing over your face. “That was… Yeonjun?” 

Beomgyu cups your cheek. “Well yeah. Why, ____? Is everything alright? I noticed how shocked you were when Yeonjun looked at us.”

A cold shiver runs down your spine. “It’s… nothing.” You murmur, actually starting to feel sick. 

end of part ii ↺ next

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 end notes ꒱

thank you so much for reading! i hope it was enjoyable! 🥺💙 sorry for any mistakes left in there!

as always, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! your support keeps me motivated 🌺🌟 you can also send feedback through asks <33

[chemicalreal]

They have such a hard time accepting that Rhaenyra's children are bastards that they make up that Rhaenys had brown hair and that Rodrick, of whom there is no official description, had brown hair too, probably based on some fanart they've seen. In any case, the excuse might work for one, although it would be very unbelievable, plus it's not just the colour of their hair and eyes, it's that their facial features were identical to Harwin's, who was even present at the birth of Lucerys, as we have Rhaenyra was very discreet. The dance is a conflict that makes no sense at all and George chose the worst scenario to develop it, it's not credible that a woman with three legitimate brothers inherits ahead of them in a medieval context, even less so with three bastards that the author for some strange reason makes not be a much bigger scandal when it should be, even in his own universe being a bastard has serious implications. From a political standpoint Viserys' decision makes no sense for a man of his time where what was most valued was the legacy, they literally want me to believe that a medieval king would let the ruling dynasty change so that his daughter's bastard ends up ruling? laying the groundwork for a generations-long succession crisis without any need whatsoever? It's not credible. Even if the dance hadn't happened, Rhaenyra's succession itself was unstable since she intended for Jace to be her heir having two legitimate sons with a better claim than him.The dance of dragons would have been more realistic between Viserys and Rhaenys, or between Daemon and Rhaenyra, but between Rhaenyra with some legitimate brother? NO. And okay, it's a misogynistic thought because she had "preparation" and Aegon didn't, I honestly think neither of them had the makings of a good ruler, but that doesn't matter in this context, medieval society was a misogynistic society, the fact that there are people who analyze things in a context doesn't mean that we defend these ideas in the 21st century. It is simply exposing a reality.

The strong boys case can be summed up in "one time is an accident, two times a coincidence, three times a pattern". The premise of GOT was built on a very simplistic notion of genetics but somehow now we have to look at it with a modern genetics lens even though it becomes a stretch.

And they should not bring up this mystical training to become queen because it's only making Rhaenyra look worse in hindsight. She either didn't pay attention during her lessons or she just wasn't cut for it, since she didn't seem to shine compared to her "untrained" brother.

I agree with you that Viserys/Rhaenys had a far more credible rivalry for a possible conflict meanwhile Rhaenyra/Aegon presents far too many narrative stretches.

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART SEVEN: THE SHINING 

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Fluff

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

An hour later

Needless to say, it did not take Cillian long to convince you to stay and, even though you were a little nervous about it, you felt somewhat excited about spending the night with him, albeit in different bedrooms.

Cillian, on the other hand, seemed to be a little more content and calm than you about the situation and knew that, realistically, you lacked other suitable options.

You had nowhere else to go and, if you were to go back to your own apartment, you would have run the risk of James turning up there unannounced. You knew that he was dangerous and that, alone, gave you enough reason to spend the evening elsewhere, with a person you could trust.

In so far as the situation with James was concerned, over a period of an hour, Cillian also convinced you to go to the police and you had promised him to do exactly that on the following day, right after class.

It was a promise you knew Cillian would hold you to and you had no desire to beach his trust. You, too, knew that this was the most sensible option for you and you did not want to risk another bruised cheek or two if you failed to take this seriously.

After convincing you to go to the police, Cillian then ordered some pizza before jumping into the shower as well and settling down on the couch with you in order to watch a movie.

As expected, he kept his distance from you and, despite the fact that he did, you were still close enough to stare at him and his somewhat strange looking pyjamas.

His pyjamas comprised a t-shirt featuring bugs bunny and a pair of matching grey boxer shorts which appeared to be too short even for a man of his height.

“My son bought them for me for Christmas” Cillian ought to clarify and you smiled.

“I like them. They look pretty cool, especially with the big carrot covering your crotch. It’s quite something” you teased, causing Cillian to laugh.

“Well, yeah…bugs bunny and his big carrot…what can I say…” Cillian joked and you both broke out in laughter just before your eyes caught on his legs which, too, were exposed.

They were masculine and strong, probably because of all the running you knew he was doing every day before school and, for some reason, seeing him like this. aroused you.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Cillian then eventually asked as if he was trying to divert your look from his legs to the TV screen.

“Yeah, a movie sounds good. What do you want to watch?” you asked with blushing cheeks. You could tell that he was noticing the way you had been looking at him and, clearly, that made him somewhat uncomfortable now.

“I don’t know. What sort of genres do you like?” Cillian asked before reaching into the coffee table draw to retrieve a large blanket which, in the end, he used to cover his legs.

“Honestly? I love scary movies” you told him as you watched him hide his legs from your gaze.

“Scary how?” Cillian asked. “Like ‘The Shining’ scary or ‘gory scary’?” he then wanted to know and you did not quite understand what he was talking about.

“What’s the Shining?” you wanted to know and his chin immediately dropped.

“Seriously?” he asked. “Have you never seen ‘The Shining’?” he was surprised and you reluctantly shook your head and stammered out a quiet “no”.

“You are almost thirty, studying to become an actress, and never watched ‘the Shining’…unbelievable…” Cillian then teased and you felt as though you should correct him. You had still not told him about your true age and felt rather guilty about it.

“Actually, I am…” you began to say, wanting to tell him that you were almost eight years younger than he thought but then you changed your mind. “Never mind” you thus said, backing out of what you were going to say for fear of being rejected by him. “I may have seen it. I am terrible at remembering the names of movies though” you then said and Cillian took this as an opportunity to introduce you to cult classic.

“Hmm. Okay. How about we watch it then and see whether you can remember it? I haven’t seen thus movie in over ten years and it is pretty good” Cillian thus told you and you agreed.

“Okay. Yes. Let’s watch it” you said before asking a an all-important question. “Do you have popcorn?” you wanted to know and Cillian immediately furrowed his eyebrows.

“Really? Popcorn?” he asked and you nodded.

“Yeah. I love popcorn” you admitted.

“I should do. The kids eat it all the time” Cillian then informed you before giving you a lecture about the suitability of popcorn while watching scary or intense movies.

In the end, however, he gave in to your demands and you both settled on the sofa again with some snacks.

***

About an hour into the movie, Cillian reached over from some popcorn and you swatted his hand away playfully.  

“You said you don’t eat popcorn when watching movies like this” you teased before you popped another piece into your mouth.

“I did say that, but I am hungry” Cillian chuckled and you voluntarily handed him the bowl and laughed.

“You didn’t eat much pizza, so I am not really surprised” you giggled before realising that, just minutes ago, Cillian had opened another bottle of wine as well but then inadvertently left it on the kitchen bench.

Looking at your empty glasses, you hopped off the couch and walked towards the kitchen in order to retrieve it.

“I paused the movie” Cillian then yelled out while you padded back to the living room barefooted with his oversized t-shirt barely covering your swaying hips. Earlier that evening, Cillian had given you some of his shorts but they were too big for you and kept on rolling down, so you decided to take them off and put on your panties instead, leaving you in nothing but cotton underwear and his black t-shirt.

“Thanks. I wouldn’t want to miss anything as I am really enjoying this movie so far” you said before placing the wine bottle on the coffee table in front of him and, just after you did, Cillian poured you each some more wine into your empty glasses.

He then settled back against the back of the sofa with a glass in his hand and, just after he did, you picked up the blanket which he had, by now, pushed to the floor. But, instead of settling on the far side of the couch again, you settled down in the middle, right next to Cillian.

“It’s freezing, isn’t it?” you then said before covering both of your laps with the blanket while settling back against Cillian comfortably, not delicately or carefully by any means.

“Yeah” Cillian said, swallowing harshly. He was not expecting you to come so close to him.

“Shit. I am sorry” you then said as you realised yourself that you had leaned back against him which, after a few glasses of wine, came naturally to you.

“It’s fine. You can lean against me if you are comfortable like that…I am cool with it…” Cillian stammered in response before looking back at the movie, trying not to think of your body pressing against his.

“Oh, okay. I was comfortable, so yeah, I mean, if you don’t mind” you told him before leaning back again although, by now, Cillian’s arm felt as though it was in the way.

“Or maybe not. Your arm is in the way now. Can you move it?” you giggled and Cillian awkwardly lifted it up and then settled it around you while trying not to touch your body.

“Better?” he then asked and you responded with a quiet “yes” before you pulled his arm closer to get more comfortable.

“Y/N, I think that…maybe…” Cillian began to say just as you snuggled in, bringing the blanket with you, but just as he spoke, he realised that you were completely focused on the movie again now.

“This is intense. She needs to get out of there” you spoke, referring to the scenes on screen and, just as the movie progressed, you began to nervously draw your fingertips across Cillian’s arm, giving him goosebumps.

“Please tell me she is going to escape” you then told Cillian while fidgeting nervously but he did not say a word as, unbeknownst to you, he tried very hard not to become aroused by you being so close to him now.

Eventually, the movie intensified and you moved forward again, right onto the edge of the couch and, instead of grasping for the blanket now, you had dug your finger nails into Cillian’s arm.

“Oh my god” you said as the final scene of the movie came on and Cillian felt relieved for the fact that it was almost over.

“Fuck that was so good” you then said when, finally, the movie came to and end and your reaction amused Cillian just slightly.

“So you haven’t seen it, have you?” he mused and you shook your head before you stretched yourself and yawned.

"No, I haven’t. It was a great, but I am absolutely knackered now” you then told Cillian while moving away from him again.

“Well, it is almost eleven o’clock. We should probably go to bed” he suggested and, of course, he was right. You had a nine o’clock start and even he had to be at drama school at around ten the following morning.

“Yeah. We should” you thus said. “Thank you again for letting me stay here, and thanks for the pizza and wine…” you then told him before leaning in slightly to give Cillian a friendly kiss on the cheek.

“You are most welcome Y/N” Cillian responded, swallowing hard before wishing you a good night’s sleep which is also when you made your way to the guestroom.

To be continued…Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

Tags: @fastfan@elenavampire21@dolllol2405@allie131313@cilliansangel@coldbastille@kpopgirlbtssvt@cdej6@kathrinemelissa@landlockedmermaid77@crazymar15@damedomino  @lauren-raines-x@miss-bunny19@skinny-bitch-juice@odorinana@cloudofdisney@weepingstudentfishhorse@allexiiisss@geminiwolves@letsstarsfalling@ysmmsy@chlorrox@tommyshelbypb@chocolatehalo@music-lover911@desperate-and-broken@mysticaldeanvoidhorse@peaky-cillian@lelestrangerandunusualdeetz@december16-1991@captivatedbycillianmurphy@romanogersendgame@randomfangirl2718@missymurphy1985@peakyscillian@lilymurphy03@deefigs@theflamecrystal@livinginfantaxy@rosey1981@hanster1998@fairypitou@zozeebo@kasaikawa@littleweirdoalien@sad-huffle-nerd@theflamecrystal@0ghostwriter0@stylescanbeatmyback@1-800-peakyblinders@datewithgianni@momoneymolife@mcntsee@janelongxox@basiclassy@being-worthy@chaotic-bean-of-smolness@margoo0@vhscillian@crazymar15@im-constantly-fangirling@namelesslosers@littlewhiterose@ttzamara@cilleveryone@peaky-cillian@severewobblerlightdragon@dolllol2405@pkab@babaohhhriley@littleweirdoalien@alreadybroken-ts@masteroperator@stevie75@shabzy96@rainbow12346@obsessedwithfandomsx@geeksareunique@laysalespoir@paigem00@lkarls@vamp-army@luckystarme@myjumper@gxorg@eline-1806@goldenharrysworld@cristinagronk16@stylesofloki@faatxma@slut-for-matt-murdock@tpwkstiles@myjumper@cloudofdisney@look-at-the-soul@smellyzcat@kittycatcait219@theliterarybeldam@being-worthy@layazul@lyn07@kagilmore@50svibes@mainstreetlilly@ourthatgirlabby@bitchwhytho@takethee@registerednursejackie@sofi128@mrkdvidal1989@minxsblog@heidimoreton@laylasbunbunny@laylasbunbunny@queenshelby@camilleholland89@forgottenpeakywriter@vintagecherryt@indierockgirrl@mrkdvidal1989@bluesongbird@dudde-44@gasolinesavages@kissforvoid@bluebird592@1eugenia1isabella1@esposadomdp@lulunalua23@lovelace42@bookklover23@iwantmyredvelvetcupcake@moonmaiden1996@marlenamallowan@cyphah (cannot tag)@majesticcmey@cleverzonkwombatsludge@throughgoeshamilton@alessioayla@elenavampire21@justforfiction@cilliansangel@alannielaraye@satellitelh@pandoramyst@duckybird101@snixx2088@kylianswag@alessioayla@pono-pura-vida@iraisbored69@howling-wolf97@aesthetic0cherryblossom@weirdo-rules@lovemissyhoneybee@dazaiscum@esposadomd@etherealkistar@ur--mommy@throughgoeshamilton

[pancake404]

Speed/Lazuli/Silvia: a Romantic Relationship that's not great...(3)

Prepare for trouble and make it double, I'm nearly done finally and the evidence ain't subtle.

Yep, I am finally continuing this with extra evidence as well as something else I wanted to get to.

Now I recommend checking out the other two parts featuring Lazuli and Sylvia separately and how the romance between Speed and either of them aren't great(in my opinion based off the evidence). But what about them together? At the end of the comic series, it ended up going a route where Speed picks both of them instead having to choose and both are not from love but Speed is willing to give a relationship with them a shot which in other words means, that excluding everything bad they've done to him, Speed is now in a relationship with two individuals that he isn't at all in love with and potentially he might not ever love romantically which means a lot more heartbreak and trouble(still excluding what Sylvia and Lazuli did in the past/before he said "all of the above").

Now let's begin.

Now like I hinted before, I show this panel from the comic when Speed finally snaps(also during when he's having an extensional crisis topped with past trauma), now out of all examples this one actually angered me when I first saw it in the comic.

These two honestly make Speed feel just worse by them being there with Lazuli daring to say "D-Did he seriously just attack us...?" further proving that someone fighting back or snapping, specifically Speed, is unbelievable enough where she's surprised by just one electric attack. This also further shows that Lazuli is aware that Speed doesn't fight back or attack usually and she has been beating up and insulting that same individual for past few months.

Speed then warns/tells them to leave and they refuse which although some may think is the right thing to do as they just want to help Speed, but given their past track record of breaking Speed's boundaries, hurting him, etc. Speed just gets more angry at this. He then rightfully yells about the abuse Lazuli had caused for the past months and of course he finally takes a bit of revenge and pretty much knocks her to the ground with one hit, further showing how much Speed had to hold back against Lazuli which Lazuli had been beating up Speed freely because of that.

Even if you argue that Speed should've just put her in her place long before, it doesn't excuse what Lazuli does and Speed is holding back because he wants to live a peaceful life now where he doesn't have to worry about dangerous missions and Lazuli again, keeps punching and hurting him for petty reasons or to get his attention(which is realistically the worst thing you could do).

Then there is this, something I've shown several times now:

The biggest problem with her saying this is that one, she knows exactly what is wrong, she and Lazuli knows that Speed is not in a good mental state and suffering through remembering trauma and she made it worse by telling him this, two, the audacity in this Sylveon to try to act like Speed's actions are either crazy or completely wrong and posing him as the one that's at fault even though numerous times these two hurt him or make him uncomfortable is insane, and three, Speed just doesn't care what either of them say because he doesn't trust or think either of them want to truly help(which is reasonable given their past actions).

That's the thing to note, he doesn't listen to Sylvia and Lazuli, which makes sense, why would he? Throughout the entire time, he had been hurt, set up, embarrassed, relived through trauma, and had constant abuse from mainly Lazuli as well as additionally from other members of the squad, it makes sense why he wouldn't listen to them, specifically Lazuli and Silvia.

That's also just the additional issue, the two he apparently should be "in love" with are in the relationship(which he isn't) are the two Pokemon he doesn't listen to because as I said, they hadn't given a reason to truly trust their word.

Not only that but the realization his outburst was for no reason as he states could make him feel worse, some may argue it may relieved him from the crisis but he now could realize that he may have hurt others out of a false reason and regardless of it being Silvia and Lazuli he ended up hurting(which I say is more or less deserved), he still feels bad about it, apologizing especially to Lazuli which is a common trait that Lazuli doesn't often do throughout the comic.

Again, they have audacity to try to pull this sort of thing when meanwhile, they've done worse separately to him. Apparently he is the one deserving of the punishment which also annoys me deeply. I understand that the punishment was a double kiss to the cheek...which can still count as unconsented as Speed is tied up, confused, and they only hinted at a "punishment"(which again, the audacity in these two are unbelievable).

Also, because of Sunshine calling them her mother figures(which I'll get to later as that is something that also strikes me as BS), they had to pretend to be Speed's girlfriends when he doesn't have feelings for them and rejected Silvia but also this is sort of forcing him to second guess that now as he has to put Sunshine into the problem and wonder what her reaction would be.

So now, where does that leave us off from?

Speed is now in a relationship(which according to him, he's not interested in) with two individuals that so far did little to nothing but hurt him and break his boundaries in ways he actively doesn't like. This pretty much is the most forced yet in a way, only possible way(besides Lazuli and Silvia redeeming themselves which I'd argue only Lazuli did a little bit of that) that Speed could be in a romantic relationship. Speed is still going through remembering traumatic flashbacks and struggles the others wouldn't understand as those don't just go away. It places his character in a nearly sad spot as putting all of this into consideration, he might just be unhappy moving forward with two girls who may or may not change for the better and berserk nonsense that still continues.

Clearly the face of someone who's content and happy, keep in mind, this third to the last page of the last chapter of Eeveelution Squad, the last appearance of him in the comic, and two months afterward of the vacation arc.

Looking through I'm starting to understand what EV meant when the abuse and unhappiness of Speed, the main character, was a reflection of the unhappiness of EV. This pretty much is the result of what the fans did and pressured to happen, although I would say it is EV who let them have control and listened to them, honestly, the level of pressuring and hate from the "fans" is just crazy to see.

I'll get into this further but let's continue on to the something else.

An example of what could've been a good romance/relationship, Speed and Pearl:

Now before some of you(who bother to care) raise your pitchforks that it should be someone else, at least allow me to show you the evidence of why these could've fit way more better than Lazuli and/or Silvia. However, I do agree that in general there were better options other that didn't have to be Pearl but just allow me to show you the evidence with them first.

Their opinions on each other, not only it is confirmed that Speed did have a huge crush on her but overall their opinions on each other are very positive. Both want to see the other happy and both want to generally take care of other. Though Speed never could get his feelings out to her since Pearl had an obsessive crush over Black, but instead of complaining, he simply tried being her wingman to get her and Black together. The only flaw here is that Speed is helping trying to get an obsessed relationship to work(otherwise, I'd consider him a legend for this) which relates to Pearl's feelings for Black and not Speed and Pearl's relationship.

What's interesting is that despite the constant reminder on how dense Speed is, Speed actually picks up on "Pearl's" strange behavior. This further shows he actively pays enough attention and hangs out with her enough where he was able to tell the differences between the way Pearl acted and way Silvia acted in Pearl's body. It's not just the obvious blue eyes but also the personality and action change that Pearl shows which Speed picks up on.

This reminds me of how much we see Speed not recognize Lazuli's different way of acting, he doesn't pick up on anything strange from her. It's almost ironic given how much Lazuli hits him to get his attention.

Pearl....apologizes. Not only she apologizes for her assumptions he was able to take the hits that Silvia and Lazuli caused but she also takes care of his health which is not seen many times from any other character if at all.

More Speed abuse but this time he's trying to catch Silvia from falling and Black comes over and kicks him in the face for him to do the rescue.

Speed apologizes as this was an accident and Black kicked him in the face. Pearl doesn't assume anything, she doesn't get angry at him, and she accepts the apology quickly and also rationally.

Black also yells at Pearl about how he doesn't understand why Speed always defends her and her actions(which is fair). One thing I've noticed which could've been shown more is Speed's lack of action and punishment as his main flaw besides him being dense. In some cases, he doesn't call out others as much as he should and because of that, they continue their choices(Lazuli and Silvia doesn't count though as he expressly states his frustrations of their actions). However, at this moment, Pearl, gets reminded that Speed got kicked in the face by Black, she turns down any crush she had on Black and focuses more on defending Speed as he was the one that got kicked in the face and the one Pearl sent off to hang out with Silvia.

Basic summary is....Pearl stops thinking about Black and starts thinking about how much Speed had done for her and although her obsession with Black needs to be called out a little more, Pearl is willing to take action and defend Speed finally which is new compared to others.

Speed being a wingman to try to keep Pearl happy, he doesn't care if she's not with him but rather if she's with the one that she wants.

Pearl is again, constantly shown to be the one that aids Speed in his injuries. Also, personally, this image below the first one shows them a lot like a family but it might just be me.

Although briefly, unlike others, Pearl shows concern over Speed getting constantly punched, better than most characters.

Remember his reasoning for not wanting to date Silvia? He views her as a little sister and there are times where Silvia often views Speed as an older brother(even calling him that several times). Pearl doesn't have this, there are hardly if any times where they view each other as brother and sister, Speed doesn't act like an older brother for Pearl and Pearl doesn't act like a younger sister for Speed. In the Q&A, Pearl would say that Speed would be her best friend given how close they appear to be and how they interact together.

Speed really tells Lazuli that she now is sounding like Pearl and after this comment he then says he is willing to give their relationship a try. I just find this detail interesting.

In the extras, between Special Chapter six and Chapter five, we have this moment with Speed and Pearl. This is probably one of my favorite interactions in the comic as we see Speed and Pearl truly hang out together alone and we see how their dynamic works. Speed gives his advice to Pearl which does somewhat help her as she starts moving on from Black and focusing on those she cares about. Pearl is also willing to open up to him about her conflicting opinions on Black which Speed understands(though for his case, he's in the position of Black with Lazuli). They work well as parent figures for Sunshine as well as the other Eeveelutions, also, this is one of the moments where Speed doesn't really frown much unlike when he interacts with Lazuli and Silvia.

I would like to point out that most of the time, in the Q&A or in the comic, whenever a kiss is done by Lazuli or Silvia, Speed looks like he either is completely confused, shocked, disturbed, or disgusted. Rarely we see any blush or happiness out of Speed's reaction and most of the time, they're done by surprise or unconsented.

However, when with Pearl, he is shown to have a little bit of blush(same with Pearl) and although he doesn't react much, he doesn't say anything negative about it or have a bad reaction to it. It's not a test like with Silvia nor accidental leading Speed to getting beat up like with Lazuli.

Now some may argue that Pearl did do it randomly and took Speed by surprise which I'm willing to agree with.

Pearl apologizes for the sudden move and Speed doesn't say anything bad or anything that suggests he didn't like it. They both go back to their regular friendly terms as usual.

Now, correct me if it's wrong but I heard from a different site that this Extra Comic isn't true to Eeveelution Squad and Pearl wouldn't do this. If it's true, then all other examples are still plausible but also, I don't mean to sound like I hate EV or any of his decisions in writing, but this is something I wouldn't agree with as not only there is time taken to draw this, but also it's a good transition between the two sections with the backstories and the vacation as well as one of my favorite interactions and moments in Eeveelution Squad in general. If it isn't true and that's just made up then my point further stands.

Throughout their relationship and interactions, Speed and/or Pearl have apologized to each other for wrongdoings and accidents, defended one another, recognize changes in the other, aided in someway such as medical or shopping, can communicate and open up to each other easily, don't view each other as sibling-figures, and try to maintain the other's happiness to the best of their ability.

Even in a platonic relationship, Pearl annihilates Silvia and Lazuli combined...which is a problem if Speed getting with Lazuli and/or Silvia was the goal that the fans wanted in the first place.

Not only that, remember that confrontation while Speed is losing it? If you didn't know Lazuli and Silvia inform Pearl about what's been going on with Speed and why and Pearl understands. My problem with the confrontation is that Pearl would've been absolutely a better choice to go and help Speed as unlike Lazuli and Silvia, Pearl would've done a way better job.

Think about it like this, Pearl is rational, calm, intelligent, and empathetic. If she went and confronted Speed, Speed would not attack her even if he's having inner struggles with his soul being a copy because he has nothing against her. They're close and see each other as nothing but positively and Pearl would be calm when she talks to Speed. Therefore, Speed doesn't snap as he's not trying to be talked down by the two that been hurting or bugging him the whole time.

Speed would listen.

Keep in mind, Silvia and Lazuli are the two the comic needs Speed to be with in a romantic relationship and even with what we're given, it only increased my doubts and I know that EV also knew about how unlikely and unhealthy it was, especially with Speed and Lazuli.

If I had to give further advice, it would be this:

When given a list of options, picking "all of the above" is sometimes not the correct one and not the one that the story should go with. I know that in the long notes of the what the story was after Eeveelution Squad, Silvia, Lazuli, and Speed are still together and Pearl and Black are also together. The reason why I'm specifically including the comic is because it's the main focus and the main story most would read, not many would be willing to read all of the extra posts about what happens afterward, same as me as admittedly, I'm a little worried about what happens there and also, I prefer not having to go through all of that.

I didn't make that second part because I wanted Pearl to be part of the harem and join in the relationship or anything, honestly, I'd prefer if there wasn't a harem at all or at least Speed not picking arguably the worst options. I am no professional writer of any sort and I can have my flaws, but the way I see it, in most cases there is a problem if the relationship between two "friends" is more healthier and better of a romance than the relationship between the character and their love interest even when they're in a romantic relationship.

This pretty much covers most of what I wanted to argue but somehow, I still have more to say though I am finishing up with all my evidence, I promise. One thing I didn't get to yet was Sunshine/Eevee and her viewing of her mother figures which I also have some words with. As well as just the general treatment of Speed I've noticed through the comic not just from Lazuli and Silvia, but from others as well.

If you read through all of this, I hope you agreed with some things I said and don't be afraid to comment your own opinions, I'll catch you later on the next post.

[hanaluna111]

Be mean to me

Ryomen Sukuna/Female! Reader

Summary: After a chaotic party you decide to end your relationship with Sukuna genre: light angst, college au (reader is in college) warning: usage of alcohol, toxic relationship, foul language, mentions of cheating, MDNI! Notes: Can´t write for shit (!!!) but Sukuna has me in a grip, english is not my first (nor second) language, so bear with me :( Words: 4.1k

"Where is your boyfriend?" Nobara questioned, sipping from her drink as you both held a conversation in the kitchen, not ready to return to the party. You shrugged your shoulders, still irritated with Sukuna, who had decided to ditch you for his friends.

The semester's coming to an end, which meant the exams were around the corner, your days consisted of relentless studying and last-minute reviewing until the late night.

The last time you saw him was weeks ago and you would have preferred to stay at home and catch up with him when he invited you to his friend's party.

He had grabbed your waist and asked, “When was the last time we did anything together?”

His hot breath on your neck, “Just this once, can't you just put your studies aside and have some fun.” pressing soft kisses on the most sensitive part, causing goosebumps all over your body. You loved him, and he knew you would never want to turn down his wishes, even if it meant going against your better judgement.

As soon as you stepped through the door, he promptly disregarded you to catch up with his friend Uraume. “I'll be right back, babe,” he said, not noticing your dumbfounded expression. Unbelievable, why did he make you come here only to brush you aside? You really looked forward to spending time together, but it appears you were the only one.

Sukuna was not the man you typically go for. He always carried himself with a slightly arrogant attitude and smug sense of self-importance, attracting followers wherever he went. You bit the inside of your cheek, taking in how the crowd parted for him, the girls eyeing him up and down like fresh meat, oblivious to his taken status. Can you blame them? He had it all – handsome features, an impressive physique, dyed hair and those delicious tattoos, which only added to the allure of the “bad boy” image that he projected. He was the type of guy every girl would love to have but knew they shouldn’t, as heartbreak was never far from him.

When starting a relationship with Sukuna, who was never interested in serious relationships and changed girls faster than his underwear, you knew that it was a risk. However, you were willing to go all in and prove that Sukuna could change for you.

The majority didn’t believe you both would last long which made you desperately prove them the opposite.

The first time you saw him was as a model for your anatomy class, the memories of it come flooding back to you.

You had been excited for this course, finally elevating your skills on how to draw realistic figures and portraits. However, you would’ve never expected an utterly mesmerizing, one-of-a-kind men stepping through the door.

Reflecting back on that moment, it wasn’t a surprise for someone like Sukuna to jump at the opportunity to showcase his body as he craved the spotlight and thrived in it.

His face took your breath away; you found yourself mesmerized by the black lines tracing the sharp contours from his cheeks to his jawline, soft amber eyes gazing intensely at you, appearing almost crimson. The intensity of his gaze was almost overwhelming, you felt every memory and emotion of yours is laid bare for him to experience.

He was the first to break off eye contact to talk to the professor, and you slowly let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. At once, your heart began to return to its natural beat as your body loosened from the intense grip of his hypnotic eyes, no longer victim to his spell.

You allowed your eyes to travel; the sight of his muscular physique fills your entire field of vision. The fabric of his black shirt was almost stretched to its limit, the outline of his well-defined abs prominent underneath, and his bulging biceps straining against the fabric, the seams ready to burst open any moment now. Protruding veins ran down his hands, where rings decorated his fingers and nails painted a deep shade of violet.

Your eyes travelled lower, feeling the tension building in your core, your mind going dizzy with desire. He wore loose grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips, and you just knew that his legs were muscular underneath. He moved slowly, starting to remove his clothes, and you weren’t sure if it´s just your imagination, but it felt like as if he was taking his sweet time stripping, showing off his bulging biceps as he moved his arms up. 

Now only standing in his underwear, you observed his body in its full glory, covered in a series of precise lines, tracing the outline of his muscles. You couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to run your fingers along his firm muscles, itching to trace every line and curve of his tattoos. Or how his long, slander fingers would dig into the soft flesh of your hips while your hands were busy roaming over his chiselled chest and broad shoulders. At this point every rational thought was thrown out the window, every fibre of your being in need of his touch. Sukuna´s toned body was the result of endless hours of intense training and dedication, that even the gods themselves would be envious of such perfection.

Raising your eyes once more, you were met by the sharp gaze of Sukuna, one eyebrow raised mockingly, and a smirk slowly spreading across his plush lips.

You felt your face heat up with embarrassment and your pulse rising. Shit, how obvious was it that you were checking him out? His smirk grew wider as he noticed you flushed expression, a malicious idea forming in his mind. While he was talking to the professor, he had felt you shamelessly admiring his toned physique. His need to humiliate you almost as strong and evident as his desire for admiration.

“Want me to take my underwear too?” he taunted you and made sure to stretch the fabric of his underwear with his thumbs, taunting with what lies beneath.

Utterly and completely mortified, you wished for the ground to open up and swallow you whole as you looked down on your blank canvas.

Asshole

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N, are you there?" Nobara nudged you in the side with her elbow, shaking you out of your daydream.

"Sorry, I was completely zoned out," you muttered, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Yeah, I can tell," she chuckled, "Felt like I was talking to myself for a second there.”

She grabbed your arm and gently pulled you out the kitchen. "Let's get moving, I can't stand seeing you waste your time sulking instead of partying.”

You were met with loud music thrumming in your ears, bones vibrating due to the heavy beat, immediately filling your body with energy. Nobara took you to the dance floor, pushing through the swarm of dancing bodies before turning to you and taking your hands in her. “Come on now,” she shouted “it’s time to bust a move!” you laughed for the first time since you arrived, putting your arms over your head and swaying your body to the beat.

The air was heavy with your laughter mingling with the pungent scents of sweat, perfume, and alcohol. Immersed in the moment, your worries dissolved as you danced your heart out, lost in the music, enjoying yourself despites your boyfriend’s sudden disappearance. The all-too-familiar aching feeling in your heart, which was a constant companion since you started dating him, slowly faded into the background.

As you lost yourself in the music, you didn’t even notice Sukuna walking towards you, his eyes followed each of your movements, appreciating the way your dress swirled and puffed around you like a wave as you spun. You were all he saw in that moment, the only thing that mattered to him, the sight of your twinkling eyes and your childlike smile brought out a soft grin across his face; there was something building in his chest every time your presence filled his senses, it felt like a pressure, restricting his oxygen flow. He didn’t understand why his chest tightened ever so slightly with each breath, but he also wasn’t afraid. Instead, he welcomed that foreign feeling, desperate for it to continue grasping him. He wanted more, he needed more.

Strong fingers wrapped around your waist and snapped you out of the dance as Sukuna greeted you with a sly smile across his face.

He drew your body closer, his heat seeping into your skin and making you feel hot. “Missed me?” he mumbled against your neck, his lips planting a soft kiss and sending shivers down your spine. You gave him the silent treatment as you couldn’t shake off the hurt of his abandonment earlier in the night.

When he attempted to kiss you, you moved your head at the last second. His hot breath touched your ear, a subtle sigh leaving his lips before locking eyes with you, a subtle twitch played on his smirk. “Why, is something the matter?” he asked, his grip tightening around you.

Annoyance flashed through his eyes, but as soon as he saw your crumbling expression, his attitude shifted drastically as he softly cupped your cheek, stroking it with the rough pad of his thumb. “Talk to me, baby.”

This wasn’t the first time that Sukuna had left you behind for his friends, you recalled the multiple times you had already spoken to him about this. God, it’s all so frustrating; Growing tired of his constant antics, you looked away, heat gradually crept up your neck. He should already be aware of why you were acting that way. Matter of fact, he should be the one to try and talk to you not the other way around.

Sukuna seemingly read your mind, understanding the reason for your upset. “I am here now, aren’t I?” he husks, angling your head towards his. You were frustrated with him, not liking the idea of brushing the issue under the rug once again and letting him get away without consequences. No, this time you wouldn’t tolerate his disespect. You were, after all, his girlfriend and not just a plaything.

The words had instantly left your mouth, your voice shaking with uncertainty as you felt him pulling away from you. “You keep doing this to me,” you pleaded with him, feeling downright deceived by his nonchalant attitude.

“Am I not a prior- “

“You´re making a big deal out of nothing. I'm here with you now, isn't that enough?” he huffed, his glaring eyes boring into yours. To him it was a pointless argument that didn’t need to happen.

His sudden outburst left you speechless and you were unsure what to say or do.

The sharp sting of his words clawing its way deep into your skin, leaving your emotions all tangled up in a confusing mess – was it not possible for you guys to have a conversation, why did it always have to end up in an argument?

Noticing the tears threatening to spill from your eyes, he ran his fingers exasperatedly through his hair, not sparing another glance at you. It was clear that he was through with the entire situation, disregarding your feelings.

“Come find me when you’ve calmed down.”

You wanted to call after him, but the harshness in his tone, and the way he abruptly turned and left you behind was to much for you to handle.

Instead, Nobara put her arm around your shoulder and guided you to the kitchen.

With emotions running wild, you found yourself pouring alcohol in your red cup and immediately gulping it down before pouring another.

A part of you wanted to chase him down and tell him that you were through;

but another dumber part of you wanted nothing more than to apologize him and take fault for the whole fiasco.

As if you did something wrong.

Your blood boiled at the pathetic thought, as you replayed the scene in your mind. Shame filled your mind, the realization that you were allowing yourself to be disrespected repeatedly made you more furious than the thought of him treating you with such.

“Son of a bitch, how dare he,” Nobara barked furiously, her loud voice echoed through the room. “His sorry ass should be glad to even breath the same air as you,” she continued, slamming her fists on the table with aggressive force, causing the liquids in your cups to slosh around, threatening to spill out.

She paced back and forth in front of you as she ranted, “He´s just- argh- I’m gonna beat him up.” The heat of her anger seemed to hit you like a blast of hot air. You’ve had only seen her so worked up before when Yuji went on a date with his former classmate Yuko, but she couldn’t longer handle the way her best friend was being treated in her relationship, taking every hit and blow. She always knew he was bad news.

Finally standing still, she puts her hands on your shoulders, a hint of frustration crossed her face as her eyes seemed to pierce through your soul, not giving you a chance to hide your emotions. „Are you happy with him?” she asked, her voice laced with concern. Your brows knitted together in confusion, having not expected that question, her words lingering in the air like a ghost.

It was those five little words that brought the truth to the forefront, releasing all the pent-up sadness that had built over time. Despite your attempt to hide the rough patches of your relationship from your friends and play everything off as alright (as they constantly told you to not involve yourself with Sukuna), you could no longer suppress your trembling within you, a sob left your lip shortly after.

It was as if the dam had broken, anger and hurt crashed relentlessly into you like strong waves to the point where you felt like drowning in an endless ocean of misery and despair, all for the sake of keeping the relationship afloat. In the expanse of your love for Sukuna, you found yourself submerged, desperately seeking to inhale fresh air, yet your lungs filled with salty water, the burning consuming you. Meanwhile he was standing safe and secure at the shore, looking down on you and simply watching as you struggled to keep your head above the water.

“No,” you replied quietly, your eyes darting around the room. “I feel like everything I say or do pushes him to the edge. He…He’s like a ticking time bomb.”

Shoko started shaking your shoulder, her tone stern. “You seriously need to-”

You interrupted her, admitting, “But…I don’t know if I am ready to leave him,” the internal conflict evident. Yes, you were be angry and hurt, however you still loved him enough not to want to lose him over something like this.

Those times when he didn’t act like a total jerk, he acted gentle and caring– a side not many got to witness, not even his younger brother Yuji. So, giving up on your relationship and leaving after he showed you his vulnerable side felt like betrayal on your part.

“Huh?” The air felt thick and heavy between you both. With her mouth wide open, Nobara’s face was frozen in a look of disbelief, as is she couldn’t believe what you were saying. How the hell did she miss the severity of your situation? She took a deep breath to gather herself, trying to find the right words before focusing her attention back on you. “How about we leave the party, hm? Sleep it off for now, and then you can tell me everything that has been going on with you two.”

Up to this point the alcohol hit you hard, spinning your head and clouding your thoughts.

You knew she was right, and you gladly accepted her offer, ready to end this chaotic night. But before that, “I need a cigarette.”

Exiting through the kitchen door, you both stepped into the garden, the warm summer breeze enveloping you, the air refreshing and calming. Looking around the garden, you spotted familiar faces such as Yuuji and Megumi, talking to each other. It has been weeks since you last saw them, and you wanted to catch up to them.

Suddenly, a fleck of pink caught your eye. You turned your head and saw Sukuna, leaning casually against the wall, an unlit cigarette between his curved lips. His eyes were fixated on someone before him, flickering with a flirtatious glint. When Sukuna looks at someone, he can make one feel like the only person in the world, the intensity of his undivided attention will leave you intoxicated, craving it like a drug you couldn’t live without. It’s the same look he gave you back in the early days when he´d forced you to talk after class with him. Now the same flirty look is directed at Mei Mei, who had positioned herself dangerously close to him. One hand lay rest on his bicep, while the other held the lighter, her eyes glued to his lips, waiting for them to curl to light up his cigarette.

A pang, no, explosion of jealousy seared through your body- a flaming hot flush spread from your cheeks down to your neck as your thoughts scrambled to make sense of what you were seeing. Tears started to form at your waterline. “This must be a bad dream,” you whispered to yourself, praying any seconds now you´ll wake up at your desk, your sketches splattered around as if no time had passed.

But as hard as you pinched yourself, the nightmare didn’t end, and instead you were haunted by their presence, her wandering hands on his arms, bodies almost flush against each other.

Your trembling hands clenched into fists as you tried to contain your anger.

You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs, but all the words are caught in your throat.  Even through the ringing of your ears, you could hear the sounds of their laughter, echoing in your head, as if mocking you.

Suddenly, you were embraced in a big hug from your friend Yuuji. “Hey Y/N, what’s up?” he beamed at you, his loud voice almost bursting your ears as it pulled you out of your thoughts, only for you heart to drop in your stomach as your boyfriend looked in your direction. While you half-listened to Yuuji's endless ramblings, your attention was solely fixed on Sukuna's stupid lips, losing their smirk, his stupid eyes widening for just a split second and his stupid hands finally pushing Mei Mei away. As he walked towards you, you couldn’t help but wonder, would he have kept on going if he hadn’t been caught?

“Don't make a big deal out of this, okay? Just trust me." Your mouth hung open in shock, your brain struggling to process what he just said. You would’ve thought he´d come here to at least give you a half-assed attempt at an apology, and maybe show remorse for his actions, but even that was too much for his pride. The way he looked at you, his eyebrows pinched together, made your pulse rise, your body ready to lash out and hurt him as much as he hurt you.

You were reminded of all the times you were sticking up for him, fighting tooth and nail for your friends and family to give him a chance. He promised to try his hardest for this relationship to work, and like a fool, you trusted him. You should’ve known that you can entertain Sukuna for so long before he gets bored. “You left me to hang out with your friends, after you convinced me to come. You´ve been shitty and moody, ruining my entire night. And now you have the audacity to ask me to trust you, after I caught you cheating on me?”

“I´m not fucking cheating on you,” he sneered, eyebrows pinched together. Being so caught up with your boyfriend, you didn’t realize that everyone around you was silently watching and listening. But he did as he whispered through clenched teeth, “And stop making a scene, are you trying to get attention?”

A dry laughter escaped your throat as you began to walk away, far away from him. “I guess you´re right.” The tears burned your eyes, but you refused to let him see them. At this point you had no energy left, exhaustion finally caught up on you, the only thing you wanted was crawling into your warm and cozy bed. “I´m done with you and done with this relationship.”

“What do you mean done?” he asked, his quick footsteps almost catching up on you and he was hoping that you would slow down. “Babe, just wait a damn minute.”  he called, an exasperated sigh followed. Soon he overtook you with his long legs, his big hand circling your wrist, his grip as firm as cement, in vain you tried to pull your hand away.

“I shouldn’t have let her put her hands on me like that, I admit it,” the timbre of his voice changed, showing his dire attempt to look apologetic. “Only you´re allowed.” You didn’t feel any comfort; his words rang empty.

“Yeah, right.” Your eyes glistened with unshed tears, remembering the scene earlier, tugging at your heartstrings. You saw it in his eyes, how he almost gave in to temptation if not for Yuuji´s loud voice interrupting them. How could he not? Mei Mei is beautiful vixen. It´s obvious to anyone with a set of eyes that she was trying to seduce him and even someone as smart and quick-witted as Sukuna isn’t immune to her charms, as he is, after all, just a man. “Did you forget that you are mine, not hers? Did your thick skull seriously forget you have a girlfriend again?!”

“No. But do you seriously expect from me to totally ignore other women, because you´re acting like a jealous bit-”

Slap. The crisp thud of your hand slapping across his face echoed in your head. There´s a lingering tinge of numbness in your hand, but every fibre of your being was engulfed by an intense flame, that it didn’t matter. Sukuna held his now red cheek, the sharp pain left him stunned.

“Don’t you dare insult me,” your voice rose. “You humiliated me in front of everyone! Are you that desperate to entertain any girl who looks your way?” chests flush against each other, your eyes shoot daggers as you tried to contain the rage you felt.

“Do you honestly believe I´ll just sit quietly and watch while you cheat on me?” Your voice cracked in the middle of your sentence. “You may think you´re some kind of king, who can do whatever he wants. Well, newsflash, you´re not. You´re a nobody, a mistake. It´s over now, you’ve had your fun with me.”

He stood tall and broad, his muscles quivered with barely restrained fury, like a force on the brink of explosion, but he still managed to display a vicious grin that promises nothing but bad intentions. “I can't say I had my fun with you, can I?” His breathing became unsteady.

“Didn’t even let me fuck your stuck-up ass,” he sneered, each word he spoke was like a thundercrack landing nearby, the impact making you flinch. It hurt. It hurt so much, that you were unable to stop the tears pouring down your hot, blotched face.

“Aw, don’t cry baby,” he taunted, his thumbs wiping the tears from your face, smearing them all over your cheeks. “It's cute how you thought I actually cared about you. You were nothing more than a project for me, you know? Just wanted to see out how long it'd take for little miss prude to open up her legs for me. I guess we'll never find out now.”

He leaned in, grinning, whispering in you ear like it was some secret. “What a shame.”

With your eyes growing distant, you felt his sharp claws piercing your heart, squeezing the life out of it. Like the cruel monster he is, Sukuna ripped your heart violently from your chest, held it in his hand and feasted on it with his sharp fangs. His eyes turned cold, relishing the pained expression on your face, enjoying the sound of your gasps as it was some kind of sweet music to his ears.

In a swift motion, you rushed out of the garden, leaving him with his heart still intact while yours is shattered into a thousand pieces, Nobara quickly rushed up behind you. Once you were out of his sight, she wrapped her arms around you in a comforting hug as you screamed all your pain in a torrent of tears and sobs.

[brucebocchi]

so i took a flyer on the manga "sweat and soap" and i ended up binging the whole thing. it's blatantly horny from the jump, if you're cool with that sort of thing, but out of nowhere it's actually an incredibly sweet romance and i was fully sobbing by the end.

i read the wotakoi manga because i felt like there was enough missing from the anime that i had to see what else was there and still came away a little disappointed. like i said with horimiya and the second half of the kaguya-sama manga, i prefer it when romcoms get the will they/won't they out of the way earlier and explore the space of the actual relationship, and wotakoi only kind of did that. it's fucking disappointing to see a romcom featuring ACTUAL ADULTS start with them dating and climax with them kissing for the first goddamn time after god knows how long into the relationship. like, i get why; it made sense with the characters, but it still bothered me.

not so with sweat and soap! they FUCKED in the first chapter. and something that began with unbelievable fetishistic horniness actually developed into a healthy, beautiful romance. it's so fucking bizarre that this actually ended up being the closest thing to a realistic romance i've seen in animanga so far.

[wenella]

Zhu Yilong: Be Water 石子的回响

EN translation of Zhu Yilong's WSJ Men's Style Sept 2023 Issue Feature Interview

Translated by wenella

It's Bustling Again

“Unbelievable.” Zhu Yilong said slowly, on the other end of the phone.

The box office of Lost in the Stars has far exceeded everyone's expectations. On the eve of the movie’s release, the predicted box office was merely RMB 1 billion. Producer Chen Sicheng was relatively optimistic and believed that the film would be on par with its predecessors Sheep without a Shepherd 1 & 2, which grossed RMB1.3 billion and 1.1 billion respectively. As of Jul 31, however, the film has grossed more than RMB3.5 billion, with nearly 85 million moviegoers. This abstract figure is perhaps not as concrete as Zhu Yilong’s feelings: “Our cinemas are bustling again.”

From the end of June to the beginning of July, Zhu Yilong did roadshows for Lost in the Stars in 7 cities across 10 days. This is the largest number of roadshows he has ever done for a film. Before he started the roadshow tour, he felt rather apprehensive as he didn’t know what kind of situations he would face and what type of questions he would get. Zhu Yilong felt less worried after he learnt that the organizers picked Wuhan as the first roadshow stop for the film. Wuhan is his hometown and the only city that held a roadshow for his movie "Lighting up the Stars" when it was released last year. The movie grossed RMB1.7 billion and earned Zhu Yilong one of the most prestigious awards of his career - the Golden Rooster Award for Best Lead Actor.

His hometown audiences were particularly supportive during the two roadshows, but Zhu Yilong could feel the subtle difference in their reactions. Lighting up the Stars is a heart-warming story and the overall narrative is light-hearted. However, Lost in the Stars is highly dramatic and the audience’s reactions were more complex. They were critical of the character He Fei.

The entire cast and crew came to a consensus at a very early stage during the production: Lost in the Stars is a commercial genre movie. When Zhu Yilong first received the script, he was hesitant to accept the role for the very exact same reason as his audiences. However, He Fei is a challenging, complex, multi-faceted, and extreme role; it is rare to encounter such a role and Zhu Yilong was worried that it might be difficult to land a similar role in future.

Zhu Yilong watched an initial cut of Lost in the Stars before he joined the set of Only the River Flows. "The film managed to convey what the original script and the actors hoped to express.” He watched the completed movie for the first time at a Shenyang roadshow six months later. There were minimal changes and the main differences were the special effects. This time, he was so drawn into the film that he realised he had crumpled the ticket in his hand after the screening ended.

He was also deeply moved by the audiences. The audiences could feel all the key character designs that he made on the set and reacted as anticipated. This is the magic of film that transcends time and space, that is shared between an actor on the set and audiences in the cinema. Zhu Yilong felt happy and immensely satisfied.

The artistic and moral questions evoked by Lost in the Star aren’t part of the actor’s responsibility. What Zhu Yilong had to ensure was that audiences were intrigued by He Fei, gripped by his emotions, and drawn into the mystery quickly. In his opinion, He Fei is not only a highly dramatic character, but also a realistic one too. This was his main entry point when he first started to create his character; the tragic ending of He Fei has to serve as a realistic warning.

“He is an actor who maintains an appropriate distance from audiences; he doesn’t seem so ‘definte’ and is somewhat ‘vague’.” Producer Chen Sicheng explained why he chose Zhu Yilong to play He Fei. Zhu Yilong took a step back to think about this comment. He said that Chen is describing the ideal state of an actor, and this is a trait that he admired in veteran actors. He hasn't thought much about how close he is to achieving this state, but he's pretty convinced that “this is the right direction.”

Only the River Flows

On May 20, the world premiere of Only the River Flows took place in Cannes. At the end of the 101-minute screening, the 1,000-person Claude Debussy theatre was filled with applause.

“Movie is a universal language,” Zhu Yilong has a deeper understanding of this saying now. Despite the language barrier and cultural differences between the East and the West, human nature is universal. The story of a police in a small town in southern China during the 1990s captivated Western audiences.

“It's hard for me to watch this movie as a regular audience now.” Zhu Yilong first received the script more than three years ago. Back then, the character Ma Zhe seemed like a profound character and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Subsequently, the production team changed and the script was revised. When he received the revised script, he decided to take on the role.

Zhu Yilong’s first priority was to establish the character. The film is an adaptation of Chinese writer Yu Hua's pioneering novella titled Mistakes by the River. During his preparation, Zhu Yilong saw an old photo of Yu Hua taken by photographer Xiao Quan. In the photo, Yu Hua, who had a moustache and thick black hair, was staring at the camera. The photo was taken in 1993, right at the time when the story took place. The character Ma Zhe immediately materialized in Zhu Yilong’s head.

His next urgent priority was to become Ma Zhe. For one and a half months, Zhu Yilong followed the local police in Nanfeng, Jiangxi province, every day, to experience life, simulate crime scenes, and question witnesses. He also gained weight consciously. By the time he appeared on camera, “Zhu Yilong” was replaced by a middle-aged man called “Ma Zhe”, who has a slightly chubby frame and somber eyes. Like Mo Sanmei and He Fei, Ma Zhe is another character that contrasts greatly with himself. People often asked Zhu Yilong, it must be satisfying to play such contrasting roles, right? Zhu Yilong gave the question some serious thought, but admitted that it was difficult for him to find such performances enjoyable or satisfying.

The director of Lost in the Stars Cui Rui recalled a moment after an intense He Fei scene. The first thing Zhu Yilong did when he returned to the monitor was to grab his Thermos bottle and drink water. Those intense emotions that he exhibited did not seem to belong to him, Zhu Yilong said, "I have these reactions and emotions only because I’m in that specific environment. Once I’m away from the set, I often find it difficult to believe that I did those stuff.”

Many of his co-workers have talked about Zhu Yilong's focus and dedication on set. Once the camera rolls, he would hand himself to his character entirely. Off-camera, he would spend most of his time preparing for the next scene. “I don't want to leave any regrets,” Zhu Yilong said. Movie is an art of regret – this is a phrase that Zhu Yilong often heard when he was in film school. He understands the inevitability of regret in acting, but believes in reducing it. Whenever he is on the set, he would try his best to give his best performance and ideas; he would express them regardless of whether they were right or wrong. “I will regret it if I merely think about it and not do anything about it.”

Next, trust was also needed during the filming of Only the River Flows. In order to recreate the 1990s mood, the movie was shot on 16mm film, with no HD playback on set. The images on the monitor resembled television in the 80s, with grainy white spots and indiscernible facial details. Zhu Yilong chose to trust himself, the film director Wei Shujun and cinematographer Cheng Ma.

Previously, he had watched Director Wei Shujun's Ripples of Life and Striding into the Wind and found him free-spirited and rather goofy. After working together this time, he realized that Director Wei was also highly receptive to people's opinions. “The cameraman, lighting crew, actors, and director would always have a discussion before shooting.” It was a young creative team and everyone belonged to the same age group. There was no absolute authority on creation or ideas. If this was a problem with a scene, they were not afraid of trying all over again in a different way.

Zhu Yilong was attracted to Only the River Flows because it was filmed chronologically. “It is rare for an actor to have the opportunity to embark on a journey with a character.” Does filming chronologically help the actor get into character more easily? Zhu Yilong didn’t seem to have a definitive answer. Sometimes, he would also suspect if the magical moment of “getting into character” really existed. He wasn’t sure if this was because he didn’t pay enough attention to the process or if that moment simply didn’t exist. In his own experience, whenever he tried to seek that moment consciously, he would find himself already connected with his character.

This process is not controlled by one's subjective consciousness. Zhu Yilong doesn't want to be in control either. Very often, he follows the emotions of his character. This was the case for the head shaving scene in Lost in the Stars and Ma Zhe’s emotional scenes in the second half of Only the River Flows. “My reactions are subconscious and not predetermined.” Once Zhu Yilong is on the set, when he enters the circumstances and the narrative starts to flow, the emotions will come naturally.

Audiences Will Never Disappear

Like the river and its meanders, Zhu Yilong is also constantly flowing and changing.

He played similar characters in dozens of digital films when he first started out, fulfilling his responsibility as an actor dutifully. Then his opportunity came when a web drama pushed him ahead of his peers in the market. Next, he kept playing different roles on the big screen and sought breakthroughs to keep refreshing the public’s perception of him. Now, it's time for everyone to get to know filmmaker Zhu Yilong.

The idea of making a movie germinated when he was a 20-year old college student at Beijing Film Academy. During his four years in college, he took audio-visual language classes, attended lectures on films, and watched film masterpieces in order to nourish this little idea he had. But he needed a suitable opportunity and courage in order to turn this idea into action. The turning point came after his first trip to Cannes in 2019. He finally saw those faces that he had only seen on the screen at the annual Cannes Film Festival - a gathering of international filmmakers. Zhu Yilong felt a bit apprehensive, as he was invited by a brand and had no work that was competing in the festival. After he returned to Beijing, he told his team, “We need to make a movie.”

Four years later, he returned to Cannes with Only the River Flows. It was a particularly difficult four-year period that saw a turbulent environment; cinemas shut down and film releases were postponed indefinitely. The Chinese film industry was in a dire state. Yet Zhu Yilong progressed steadily. He made eight films and played the lead actor in four of them.

Was he ever worried about a film’s theatrical release? He shook his head. “I chose to make films because I like it. I’m attracted to a role and I want to create this character. Besides, I've always believed that the audiences in cinemas will never disappear.” Unlike watching films on your phones or through a projector, Zhu Yilong believes that film-going is a kind of lifestyle. You need to buy a ticket in advance, set time aside, and join a group of people to quietly enjoy a two-hour story in the dark. It is an extremely impressive and emotional experience. Using himself as an example, Zhu Yilong said that he still remembers his schooling days when he watched films at the Film Archive.

At the same time, Zhu Yilong also acknowledged that the viewing habits of audiences have changed in this era of short videos. But he would rather deem this a positive change. From silent to sound, from black-and-white to color, films have always evolved with the times. Zhu Yilong thinks that we are at another turning point right now. “We need to accept this change and explore new performance styles, audio-visual language, and narrative techniques to cope with these changes.”

Zhu Yilong watched Hirokazu Koreeda’s “Monster” at Cannes. In the Lumière Hall, more than 2,000 people filled the upper and lower floors. When the 125-minute screening ended, there was unceasing applause that “lasted for about 10 to 15 minutes.” This 15 minutes belonged entirely to the entire cast and crew of Monster and Zhu Yilong felt heartened by it too. “In addition to realist films, we should also introduce more young, pioneering, and imaginative films to international audiences in future.” This is Zhu Yilong's new reflection after his trip to Cannes this year.

In the spring of 2023, Zhu Yilong learned that Only the River Flows was selected for the Un Certain Regard section of the Cannes Film Festival. He said rather emotionally, “I guess I’ve achieved a small goal of mine.”

So what’s the next goal?

“Can’t reveal it yet. I will just follow the flow of the river and work hard.”

**THE END**

A lengthy but lovely interview with Zhu Yilong that focuses on Lost in the Stars & Only the River Flows. Happy reading! If you'd like to retranslate this, pls DM me for permission + credit.

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