#unashamedly admitting that this is one my favourite love stories

[medecineformelancholy]

John Hurt and Suzanna Hamilton as Winston and Julia in 1984

[fireladybuckley]

911 Verse this or that

Indirectly tagged by @perfectlynervousbeard <3 

Buck or TK. Look I adore TK, Ronen is seriously one of the cutest guys I’ve ever seen and TK is adorable and easily my favourite LS character.  But it’s not even close when comparing him to Buck, Buck is my comfort character, my absolute favourite of just about anything, ever.  I adore Oliver and there’s not a single person you could compare to Buck that I would pick over him, lol.

Eddie or Carlos.

Again, I really do like Carlos.  I firmly believe Carlos (Rafa) doesn’t get enough screen time and his character development suffers because of it and I hate that.   But again, I love Eddie just SO much.  Comparing him and Carlos isn’t fair because they’re very different and Eddie’s storyline and character in general are SO much more developed, I feel like we’ve gotten to know him so much better and that just makes me love him more, I’m more attached.  Plus Eddie’s relationship with Christopher alone is just so precious and I love it so much.

Bobby or Owen.

Easiest question ever.  Bobby is amazing and the best dad and Owen sucks.

Chimney or Judd Not that I hate Chimney or anything (he gets on my nerves sometimes but overall he’s fine) but Judd is just wonderful.  I love his whole southern gentleman vibe while also being a bit of a mischievous little shit which makes me laugh.  And the way he loves and respects his wife is just so refreshing to see. <3

Hen or Marjan I wonder if this is kind of like how I feel about Carlos; I really like both Carlos and Marjan, but I feel like I barely know them.  Marjan is badass and awesome and everything but aside from her arranged marriage stuff, I feel like we barely know anything about her.  Whereas with Hen, I feel like we know her so well she could just be my best friend and it would be amazing.   She’s smart, compassionate, hilarious and just awesome and I adore her.  I also love her relationship with Karen and Denny and now Nia.  If they take Nia away I’m going to riot

Maddie or Grace.  This one was tougher, and REALLY close.  I really love Grace, she’s amazing and badass and I love her and Judd’s relationship.  I just like Maddie slightly more.  I love how much Maddie has overcome and how strong she is, how she took care of Buck their whole lives (which was NOT fair to her), and I love their sibling dynamic.  I love her relationships with the other 9-1-1 operators.

I will say though that they are both BADASS 9-1-1 operators and they are both queens.

Athena or Tommy Tommy’s fine but she’s very new and I feel like I don’t know her at all (though I love Gina Torres).  Not that that matters, however;  Athena is QUEEN and no matter how awesome Tommy could be, she would never surpass Athena.  Athena is just so amazing and I love her so much.  She is compassionate, badass, hard working, hilarious, terrifying when mad but at the same time so gentle and kind.  Her and Bobby are amazing together (especially earlier in their relationship), she’s such a good mom to Harry and May (and by extension Buck, and maybe even Eddie).  She’s just amazing, ok.

Albert or Mateo  I’ll be honest, I was going to choose Albert because I find him adorable and funny and I wish we knew more about him.  But this time it’s the opposite problem of the others... I feel like we barely know Albert, even though he’s been around for a while now.  The 9-1-1 writers have done a terrible job giving him meaningful backstory imo.  Like he’s been in LA for how long now?  Does he even have a job?   Is he still speaking to his parents? We know barely anything about him besides that he’s Buck’s roommate and he has been on some dates.

Mateo on the other hand is much more flushed out.  I loved the story arc where he is just SO dedicated and driven to become a firefighter despite his dyslexia and I’m so glad it was made possible for him to have allowances for the test.  I love that his crew doesn’t mock him for it or treat him like he’s stupid, they ALL help him as much as they can, and I LOVE when Marjan goes and gives the tattoo parlour who intentionally fucked up his tattoo a reaming.  He’s an earnest, eager younger brother who just wants to help and prove himself and I think he’s adorable.

Michael or Paul. I like Michael, but I like Paul a bit more.  I just wish they would give him more screen time and a storyline that doesn’t involve people being transphobic.  I’m sorry (not sorry) but the sister storyline thing still pisses me off

118 or 126.  The 118, no question.  They feel far more cohesive as a team and I love their relationships more, both with each other and with other people.  The 118 feels so much more real than the 126, and I’ve no doubt it’s because of LS’s continued sidelining of its characters that are not Owen (and, I’ll admit, TK.  I love that he gets a lot of screen time, but not if it comes at the expense of Marjan/Paul/Mateo being shunted to the side). 

Maybe the 126 will get better with time.  I’m certainly hoping that with TK in his new role, maybe they’ll bring in another firefighter to replace him (hopefully a woman!  Both shows definitely lack women in the fire-fighting department imo - but the OG is definitely worse; only Hen in 9-1-1, and only Marjan in 9-1-1 LS but at least LS has Tommy and Nancy as medics.  the 118 needs another featured woman firefighter!!)

California or Texas.  I don’t know if it’s the filming choices or if Texas is just like that (having never been there, I have no idea), but Texas doesn’t seem nearly as nice as California.  That could just be my personal preference; I love lush greenery far more than the more desert-y types of things, and I love the ocean so much.  I feel like LA has prettier settings, and LS is more gritty.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that at all, I just prefer pretty haha.

Buddie or Tarlos I feel like this is a bit of an unfair question, since it’s still up in the air whether Buddie even exists in canon, and Tarlos is unquestionably real.

But of course, if I’m forced to choose, it’s Buddie.  And that’s not to say Tarlos isn’t amazing, because it is... I adore BOTH ships so much.  I’m just too drawn into Buddie, and how their personalities compliment each other, and Buck’s special relationship with Chris that places him firmly into the Diaz family unit, Buddie or not.  I really do feel like they’ve set them up 100% as a potential romance and as far as slow burns go, it’s amazing so far.  Plus, even if they don’t become a couple, I am still so invested in them as best friends.

That being said, Tarlos is fucking adorable and I live for their scenes on LS <3

Tsunami episode(s) or Tornado episode.  There was just SO MUCH going on with the tsunami.  Of course the entire plot arc with Buck and Christopher is amazing and easily one of my favourites in the entire series, but I also loved that the tsunami episodes showed EVERYONE in their element, doing everything they could to help people.  I love that it brought Lena into the mix (I know the fandom is divided on her but I love her unashamedly).  The amazing scenes with Athena and May, the scenes with Maddie and that girl with the drone... it was just SUCH A GOOD ARC and I love it.  The fact that I can remember SO much about it and I barely remember what happened with the tornado tells me just how much more I enjoyed it, as well.

911 or 911 Lone Star.  Unquestionably 9-1-1.   I feel like the firefam has become part of my own extended family and I just don’t feel that with LS.  Maybe after a couple more seasons it’ll be more like that, but for now, 9-1-1 is EASILY my favourite.  I do love LS too, though.  I just wish there was less of Owen and more of everyone else.  AND I WANT MORE CROSSOVERS!!!

I have no idea who has been tagged so I’m just going to pick a few random people.  If you’re reading this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged by me!  (And tag me back so I can read yours! <3) @firemedicdiaz @that-firehouse @bicepsie @tulipsfrom-medusa @evaneddie @kittycat-cas @bvckleydiaz @ashavahishta @matan4il And anyone else!!

[kalluun-patangaroa]

Afternoon Delight: Brett Anderson Interviewed

by Tariq Goddard

The Quietus, 3 October 2019

Tariq Goddard sits down with Suede frontman, Brett Anderson for a frank talk ahead of the publication of Afternoons With The Blinds Drawn, the second volume of the singer's memoirs

Portrait by Paul Khera

Coal Black Mornings, the first volume of Brett Anderson’s memoir, was a haunting and unusual addition to the genre, eschewing the devices and gimmickry that are the principle selling points of a rock star confessional, for a harrowingly reflective and thoughtful overview of his early years. Anderson took the reader back to a time before the music, to the experiences that informed the songs, albums, and eventual career trajectory, and in doing so, circumnavigated the years of his triumph during which he rose to public prominence and critical acclaim.

His onus on the creatively formative period that preceded success, the tender portraits of his family, particularly his complicated relationship with his father, a man who may have wished he had the life his son had, and the recollections of an England that has vanished so completely as to no longer be a place, offered a more unique and heartfelt history than the celebrity tittle-tattle fans might have thought they wanted. To do anything comparable with the second volume, a story Anderson vowed not to tell, would at once be easier for him - his material would span the glory days of his career - yet harder, for how could the tenderness of the first book survive grubby contact with the reality of wild adulation and Britpop, a “movement" he admits to despising?

Perhaps to his own surprise Volume II, Afternoons With The Blinds Drawn, strikes the same ruminative notes as the earlier volume, again subverting convention and expectation to avoid cliche and disappointment, written in the vulnerable and careful voice of its antecedent. Instead of dishing up insider gossip, Anderson mentions none of his rivals or contemporaries by name, assiduously sticking to the frequently scorned advice of “if have nothing nice to say, I say nothing”. Portraits of associates, friends and ex-friends are generous, forensic but fair, and there is no attempt to airbrush or underplay anyone else’s role in contributing to Suede’s imperial phase.

Knowing that the man he became in this second volume is not as sympathetic as the youth he was in the first, Anderson goes on to slay the most prominent elephant of all, himself, through pages of literary flagellation few writers could self-administer uncoerced.

Driven by the desire to work out what really happened to him, Anderson’s writing follows an unashamedly conceptual arc (“archetypes”, “convergence theory” and “postmodern play of mirrors” all appear on a single page), constituting a historical inquiry into the motives and processes that lay behind his best and worst work, by way of remorseless self-analysis, painful descriptions of how others must have seen him, and an attempt to grasp why we all think we are right at the time. The light shed and insight shared in these two volumes places them in the same covetable space as Springsteen’s Born To Run or Dylan’s Chronicles, and would be worth cherishing even if Brett Anderson was the reason why you never liked Suede in the first place.  

Musicians often write books to sustain and propagate a persona that they have developed over a career, not deconstruct one in a spirit of enquiry. This book reads like it was written by that hidden aspect of yourself that wrote the songs in private, and not the public alter ego we saw perform them…

Brett Anderson: Absolutely, that is the main premise of the book, that it wasn’t going to be written by the Brett Anderson persona but whoever the real person behind it was. The reason why Coal Black Mornings ended where it did was because my public persona didn’t exist then, and I deliberately stopped the story before it had been formed. What I didn’t know was whether I could actually write another book in that same voice I had developed in the first, dealing with the next period of my life, and not drift into public persona I had created by then. It was a massive conundrum for me, as people might be familiar with the events and that version of me, and expect something consistent with that, while I knew I wanted a more personal and interesting story, told in the natural voice of the first book.

There is something I want to be clear about though, this thing with the persona we’re talking about is that it wasn’t necessarily false in the way people understand that to be. I wasn’t just the man behind the mask manipulating people’s view of me, because to inhabit a persona you have to believe in that persona too. Looking back it’s possible to wonder how much of it is really yourself, as it is you and not you at the same time, but all of it still comes from you. You are the one doing it. I mean, everyone manufactures personas all time. People in the public eye simply amplify the process, and the lens of the media then helps magnify and distort the original amplification. The “you” that sits down and watches TV with your family is very different from the “you” sitting here now, but that doesn’t mean that your public self is some Svengali like manipulation of reality. The persona you decide to project says as much about who you are as your private self does. And it was only through growing up, growing up and not giving up these past eleven years, and having kids who you can’t fob off with a persona, that I went through the slow and painful process of taking apart the nuts and bolts of what mine was made of.

The book does come up short on after dinner speaking anecdotage. Although it is often very funny, it doesn’t seem to see its function as to amuse, does it?

BA: No, not at all. The book is a search into what happened to me in those years of success and fame, and what effect that had on me as a person, not a parade of all my achievements, where I ask the reader to look at me and love me. Like the first book, I used my writing as a sounding board very like therapy, and used the questions I was asking of myself to work out my own shit.

Portrait by Pat Pope 

Notes from therapy don’t normally make for very interesting reading though…

BA: They don’t, and I knew I was running a risk. In one of my favourite reviews of Coal Black Mornings the reviewer writes, having given it two or three stars out of five, I’m not sure which is the more dismissive number, ‘this book is very well written but the big problem I had with it in the end is it is all about him, him, him!’ Well of course it is, it’s a memoir! Memoir has to take the risk of being indulgent to work.

But for a memoir, I found you very impatient with your own perspective. There’s very little self justification or score settling, often it’s like you’re trying to establish something very close to historical objectivity? Even though you keep saying that it is impossible to do that.

BA: I realise I wanted to know everything that was going on around me at that time, that wasn’t just me or to merely repeat or excuse how I saw things then. And I really didn’t want to fall into one of the lazy tropes of the genre which is just to sit there and slag off other bands. There is a vitriol in there, but I apply it to movements and features of the period, not individuals, partly because I know how the media works now. As soon as you slag off a name, that’s all your book becomes, and you lose all control or ownership of context, and simply end up as a line in a feature in quotes of the year. A memoir is about context, a complex tapestry, not a motormouth series of quotes, and you don’t want to lose that by being petty or boring, or revisiting past rivalries. I mean, who cares who ticked me off? The crazy thing is that there are people who want you to name names and write that kind of book, but I wasn’t prepared to.

But readers are more used to engaging with a work of that kind, aren’t they, who blew coke up whose arsehole?

BA: Absolutely, but the books that do that are the same story with the names changed, you know, the amusing band shenanigans, all the japery, the dirt, all of it is essentially the same tale every time. But that is the expectation, and to be honest, critics can be just as predictable. I’ve had reviews saying that Coal Black Mornings was really good but who was it really for, as it doesn’t sit comfortably in the genre they think it is supposed to be in. But for me that’s a good thing. It’s meant to be more ambitious and about trying to get to the bottom of things and to understand life. Basically the opposite of a series of oft repeated anecdotes. The anecdotes that I have included are the things that are important to me that no one else could have ever known about, because they were purely personal or because sometimes there was simply no one else there to observe them. Whether it’s the beautiful girl who comes up to me just to tell me my band are shit, or the cheese and pickle sandwich I took with me on my first flight to America, these were the things I wanted to share so that I would know they had really happened. You know, the strange and quirky little things that give your life back to you, as they thread in and out of the story everyone else thinks they know…

You are hard on yourself in the book, but you are also very hard on your own music, which from a fan’s point of view might be tough to take. Reading that you have never rated your most successful singles, or that people’s favourite songs had working titles like 'Pisspot' and 'Sombre Bongoes' for example…

BA: Yeah, 'Stay Together', 'Electricity', the Head Music title track, and 'The Power', yeah, I take the sword to them all, but I had to be that self critical in order to be convincing. If I just sat there saying, “I’m a fucking genius and everything I have done is brilliant” anything else I would say would carry zero weight! Especially if I then want to go on and talk about the songs I really do still love, 'Heroine', 'Killing Of A Flash Boy', 'Sleeping Pills', the list goes on. It’s all part of subverting the myth of the god given seer, like the bit where I talk about myself honestly as a musician and admit that I am not a particularly talented one, but what I do have is that I just don’t fucking give up.That admission for me was a moment of truth, it just isn’t what most musicians say, and so another attack on the supposed elegance of my persona. But in the same way I view myself at points in my past as a different person, I see some of those songs as written by a different person, and that is why the flaws so easily reveal themselves to me. As for being hard on myself, again, I had to be. My mistakes were entirely my own and no one else’s fault, certainly not the fault of any childhood trauma or external stuff, and I needed to take responsibility for that. My descent into hell came from being romantically attached to the notion of the artist as a genius that accepts no limits or boundaries, it was that simple.  

Do you think the experience of the relatively fallow and low periods in your career helped you develop the sensibility and humility with which you wrote this memoir? That continual and unbroken success may have robbed you of certain insights that disappointment helped provide?

BA: Yes, the end of the band meant I was able to jump off the bandwagon I had been on and develop a different perspective. Those were key years for me as an artist, that I had to have away from Suede, before we came back again. Experiencing struggle and failure, having had success, was crucial for me. I loved making solo records but it did start to feel like a bit of a vanity project as you do need an audience, and there is a certain point where if you drop below a particular level, you begin to wonder whether it is still worth doing. The work may still stand up, but if there’s just a select group you are appealing to, buttressed by family and friends, you can feel like the basic relationship you need with an audience, in order to create, is breaking down. And with having a family too, I thought I couldn’t afford to go on like that anymore. A performance, a book, a song, all these things require an audience, it’s a plea, you are projecting your voice out there and you require an echo in return. Otherwise you’d just stay in your own room and write for yourself, which is what some artists claim to do, but it’s an attitude I have never shared. Because half the point of creating anything is the reaction. I’ve never understood the cliche of the artist that only creates for themselves and never reads their own press.

You have to be Kafka to really not care what happens to your work. Most artists hope for perpetual immortality, on their more modest days.

BA: But did even Kafka really not care though?

He did leave his work with his best friend and literary executor to destroy.

BA: Exactly, his best friend and literary executor! Interesting that he chose a man who thought he was genius for that task! If he really felt that way he should have given everything to someone who really didn’t give a shit about him or his work.

Contingency and chance is one of the big themes of your book. One of the very few contemporaries you name, and then very affectionately, is Loz Hardy of Kingmaker whose fortunes you contrast with yours. You seem to be asking did you succeed, and he fail, because of the hidden hand of destiny, Darwinian necessity and artistic merit, or has the whole of your and his career been the most monstrous fluke?

BA: I thought long and hard about whether to involve Loz in any of this, and there is a part of me that felt bad about it, and so I tried to be sensitive in how I talked about him, as I have warmth for him and always really liked him. But I had to include him. We were thrown together by the Melody Maker’s “dog shit and diamonds” piece, a gladiatorial contest they set up where we were used as symbols for different musical and aesthetic tendencies, and there was no way for me to explore the questions I wanted to if I ignored that. The fact is Kingmaker did not go onto achieve success, but I hope I didn’t trample on them when I refer back to that point where we found ourselves in the same place. I genuinely wanted to work out whether things happened for us in the only way they could have, and if you can judge your own worth on the basis of success, as the ultimate criteria, or if it is all down to chance in the end.

You go on to say that the neglect of great art makes you wonder whether it is all chance, however much it might suit you not to think so…

BA: Exactly, look at Echo And The Bunnymen for fuck’s sake! They’ve made amazing music but why aren’t they then given the prestige they deserve, whereas so many of their less talented contemporaries fill up stadiums at the drop of hat? How can you resolve it? It’s unresolvable! But I think you need to believe in destiny wholeheartedly to make it at anything, and it is easy to when everything is going right, you know “my success is my destined birthright!’, but then how can you have any framework or belief system left if you embrace destiny and then fuck up? You’d be complicit in your own fall. Even then though, you can make failure work for you, and realise the fuck-ups were necessary too, and that you learn from them and they therefore feed your future successes, so you’re kind of led back into destiny again. The thing is if you are happy with where you have got to in life, and looking at things from a place of satisfaction, then you literally can’t really regret anything, as the fuck ups are part of the journey that led you to where you are, and are as easily as important as the successes.  

Photograph courtesy of Phillip Williams 

You make a number of complimentary references to the old music press in the book, even when they turned on you, which is rare for a musician…

BA: God yeah, we’re culturally less well off for their folding, don’t you think so? That whole Punch And Judy journalism and playground tribalism produced so many great bands and so much great discussion no matter how ugly it got. Those papers were like a music factory. A lot of modern music writing, with some very obvious exceptions that I love, is too dry and balanced. Growing up to a point where you can’t be violently partial means you lose something of the enthusiasm and passion that draws you to music. Music writing needs to be a little bit impetuous because music is impetuous. It’s easy to think it was all divisive and unnecessarily nasty, but it needed to be, that was its job, which encouraged it to issue challenges and be creative in its own right too. Which was great, providing they were saying nice things about us!

How has the creative process changed for you now that you are no longer committed to releasing album after album in quick succession, a process you say that led to the creation of some inferior work; does that easing of pressure and allowing of material to gestate compensate for what is lost, which is that in the old days you didn’t know what was going to happen next, and that every new record might yet change your lives with as yet unimagined success?

BA: There’s a trade off. The eventual realisation that you are not part of the mainstream anymore, as we clearly no longer are, does give you the freedom go to interesting places you could not always have gone to before. For me now the concept of a record has to be very strong to act on it, and I won’t start writing simply because it is time to release a record again. For example, the material and ideas I thought would be perfect for A New Morning, were actually followed through on and became The Blue Hour sixteen years later. Trying to carry them into the songs I was writing at the time, and make a record about the darkness of the countryside when you want your songs to be rotated on Radio One, was never going to happen. And that’s one of the beauties and consolations of being set adrift from the mainstream, which is that you really don’t need to worry anymore about a particular kind of career path anymore. We’re never going to latch back onto the mainstream again, I know that, because we could make the greatest record we’ve ever made, or has ever been made, and we would still never be on Radio One again. And I’m fine with that now. I am a 52-year-old man, do you know what I mean? Age has got to give you something, because otherwise there is a part of you that might never get over what it has to teach you.

You plot your changing relationship with your fans from a high of believing you were in it together, to the low of seeing graffiti left on your street with directions to your house and a request to kill your cat. The lesson that fans live for you when they should be living for themselves, and that you should be living for yourself and not them, seems hard earned on both sides, particularly as you write about how much you owe them for putting you where you wanted to be in the first place.

BA: It’s a fascinating process with fans, you were there in the early days, and you know that insane dynamic where the fans are still part of the experience. We used to hang out with you guys and it was like being with your mates where you share the same passions and interests, but then you get to that point in a band where the doors come down, and there is a separation where you find yourself either being mobbed by people or sitting on your own in an empty dressing room with no in-between. Life becomes polarised between these two extremes, and it is unavoidable because it is built into success, and so to some extent, is no more than what you wanted and signed up for, but there is that lovely point when you first start when the people who follow you aren’t an abstract, “the audience”, but friends, and there is something special about those days I wanted to capture in the book. Because those days were really important, one of those lovely periods you can never have back or go back to again.

After that you become public property, where you have an image you keep up to avoid disappointing people, and where everything you say is taken at face value. Like the story you mention in the book where I forget that I asked a couple of fans to come back to my house in two days time, only to be polite, then completely forgot about it, and ended up instigating a campaign of abuse against myself…

I understand the danger of taking rock stars at their word. In early 95 I bumped into you at the Severn Bridge Services and you told me that I should join you in Watford in a week, where you would meet me outside the venue and let me into a gig!

BA: Oh no, you’re joking…what an invitation! My God, and did I do it?

I would love to have said you did! I still got in, so no hard feelings.

BA: I’m so sorry! What you’ve got to understand is that in a band when you meet someone at the services you always want to leave the conversation on a high note, to contrast with the surroundings, hence the Watford Colosseum! I just hoped that you wouldn’t believe me and would realise that in the end it was all just…words!

Afternoons With The Blinds Drawn is out now via Little Brown

[ask-the-yugoslavbunch]

OC Tag

Tagged by @quiescentwriting ! Like a while back ahahaha

I’ll be talking about all my oc’s here in general when I can, but focusing on Serbia, Croatia, Slovenia, and Bosnia.

1) What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.?)

Appearance aha I’m a visual person, so first thing I do when creating a character is draw them out and create everything else from that.

Or, well, their country actually??? But appearance was first thing down.

2) Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Well, they are fandom oc’s so yes aha More specifically, I wanted Slovenia to have a connection to Austria to symbolize that long rule (Slo’s purple eyes) and his hair curl mimic’s Slovakia’s, Bos has a skin tone more similar to Turkey for that connection, Cro’s eyes are golden brown and green for his connection to N Italy and Hungary, and within my oc’s Serbia and Voj have always had the same shade of green eyes.

3) How did you choose their name?

Don’t even get me started on how long it took to settle on Serbia’s human name.

First it was Vuk because I liked the sound of it and felt wolf as a name meaning fit real well, but after a bit I was like “hmmm, why does an aph Serbia named Vuk sound familiar’ and remembered Yugotalia. So I changed Vuk even though it was my top choice because I didn’t want people coming in my inbox like ‘WHY U STEALING FROM TIX.’ Sooo, I changed it to something else and used one of the many Vuk-related last names instead. Picked a new name (which I don't remember anymore) but then googled it with his last name and like.....an article in Serbian about a grave robber came up so I changed that name.... Went through two more names I didn’t like before settling on Novak.

Also I 100% did not choose it because of the tennis player. I actually originally actively ignored it and went with Vuk because choosing a name of a celebrity is eh, but I was so fed up trying to find a name that I forgot about him and went with Novak (which sounded good to my ears) and like......2 months later the Olympics happened and I was looking up tennis scores and saw Djokovic’s name and just went ‘GODAMNIT’ But didn’t change it again ahaha

For Bosnia, I didn’t actually want to go with Lejla because I don’t really like choosing the most common names, but Lejla/Layla in all spellings has been one of my fav names since forever so Lejla it is.

Slovenia was a good boy, it didn’t take me too long to settle on Primož.

Cro was almost as bad as Serbia in finding a name. Nothing sounded right to me? And Sounding Right is a big part in choosing names for me so he went nameless quite a while. Eventually settled on Krešimir because it sounded the least bad.....I love it now though, he’s forever Krešo in my head.

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Well. I mean the being countries bit? I’m not totally sure how to answer this.

5) Is there any significance behind their hair colour?

They all have brown hair because that’s the most common color in their countries.

Fun fact for Slo: he originally had a darker hair color, but then I realized that uh.....it was a reallyyyyy similar shade of brown I used for Slovakia and like I’m not that mean, so I lightened his hair.

6) Is there any significance behind their eye colour?

None for Bos, besides it being the most common color. I’m also pretty sure I picked green for Serbia because I wanted him to stand out among the other oc’s as I don't think any other male Serbia has green eyes.

Slo, as mentioned above, has purple eyes to connect him to Austria to signify the loooong time Slovenia was under Austrian rule.

And, again, mentioned above for Cro it’s a connection to both N Italy and Hungary.

7) Is there any significance behind their height?

They’re all really, really tall because this area has some of the tallest people in the world! Slovenia is the shortest of the men because they have the shortest height, but he’s still closer to 6 foot than he isn’t.

8) What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

Not gonna lie, hope I don’t relate much to them because yikes, they are not human beings and have done Some Things. But uuuuh, Serb and Cro’s confidence, Slo’s love of literature, Bos’s fashion sense.

9) Are they based off of you, in some way?

I mean, what oc isn’t really? These guys aren’t based on me much though. At most, I’m super feminine and like super feminine characters being unashamedly feminine and created Bosnia with that in mind when I revamped her as a girl.

10) Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

Yes/No. I have complicated headcanon’s about the nature of nation’s gender and sexuality in the hetalia verse, so I already knew those, but sexualities in like human au’s is always fluid and changing for these guys. Or in the case of Slo, just straight up doesn’t exist.

11) What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

Nothing really? Writing maybe, if I had to pick.

12) How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

Well. I can’t see the future so not very P:

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

Serb: He’s incredibly complicated. Fun, extroverted guy is a cover for all sorts of much deeper inner thoughts.

Cro: He has a quick temper that can get bad, but is usually pretty jovial and joking. He’s more brawn than brains, but is still pretty intuitive.

Slo: He wants what other people have so always acts “proper.” He’s also a bit more mentally young than you would expect.

Bos: She is the gentlest, friendliest person you’ll ever meet. She’s also a simmering ball of anger and resentment deep inside.

14) What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

They are all dorks so, so much sdhfjksd

Bos totally never had a crush on Turkey nope. Serbia’s secret love of Turkish soap operas. Kid!Croatia being down to fight anything. Turning Slo into a meme every few months on this blog.

15) What is something about your OC can make you cry?

Uuuuuh, all of their histories? And having to figure out how to incorporate that into a single person who faced all that trauma? Not a happy little corner here...

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

Nnnnnnno. Most of the stuff I would regret, I never officially added to their stories and kept it in my head.

17) What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

Oh gosh. Slovenia, I’ve decided, keeps bees. That’s the only one I can think of at the moment ;;

18) What is your favourite fact about your OC?

Croatia spent a few years as a kid as a pirate.

Slovenia writes poetry but is embarrassed to admit he does.

Bosnia was an absolute little shit as a kid.

Serbia absolutely loves soap opera’s and chick flicks and the like and will do anything to keep that a secret.

[teamcalamity]

Okay, newbie. Let's move!

A new competitive season has started, Opus VIII is about to launch and Team Calamity has a blog... BOOYA!!

If you want to see more variety than a dialogue with Squall, topics that hit harder than Sephiroth into the back of a flower girl and tips more useful than Vaan's point in the story, then this is the blog for you.

In this first article we thought it might be best to introduce you to some of the team who will be regular staples on here. Hopefully this brief insight will help put some of their upcoming content into perspective.

First up is our resident judge - Mitch.

How did you first get into FFTCG?

It was a dark time in my life; I had just finished one of my favourite TV series for the 15th time and worst of all I had a piece of apple skin stuck between my teeth. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.

I received a call from the UK Champion (but not world) Peter Sherratt, he spoke to me like a true champion with grace and honour “you alright dickhead?” he told me that he had just gone to a new comic book shop, the infamous Calamity Comics. Peter knew I always had a creepy girlfriend affection for Final Fantasy and our recent card game was now just an OTK shit show. So we thought let’s give it a go.

Pulled Bahamut legend, fire seems strong; I bet this card will be good for a long time, 10000 damage AND removed. Peter got Foil Light Cloud. This card is also future proof, if there’s one thing I know about card games, is that removal is key and this has it in spades…

From that day I was hooked, scratching at my arms for the next fix of spoilers, tapping the vein, breathing FFTCG and dealing with my new addiction.

What style of play do you favour?

I like to win, but more importantly I like to be a smug prick and to do this, I love my combat tricks. Nothing lifts the table up on my side more than doing something your opponent cannot see coming. I also love removal and drawing cards so if someone could explain to me how to play earth that would be great. Thank you.

Biggest hype of Opus 8?

While all the cards aren’t out yet, I am especially excited for Lunafreya, the stuff that she can enable; it means your opponent will not want to kill off some of your best forwards. That said this will all change depending on the new Garnet, if there is one.

Peter - the 2018 UK Champion (not world)

How did you first get into FFTCG?

I played yu gi oh at the time and I saw FF being sold at Calamity Comics in Hatfield.

Eric the store owner said they were doing a tournament on Friday night's (an attempt to remove the magic the gathering crowd) .

I had played FF7 and I've never liked mtg so sounded like a win win for me. All that was left was to convince mitchell to go with me to hold my hand through it all.

Didn't take long to convince him and off we went to go purchase some cardboard crack. First pack I opened....foil Cloud L!! Wooo

First deck I played was fire ice. We didn't have a clue what we were doing but got it after a couple of goes.

Mitch went home that night to learn the rulings. It became an obsession of his for a while. He would wake up in the middle of the night about illegal plays the night before.

What was even better was we convinced our mates Joseph and Azlan to join also. Fucking great game. Needs more cleavage though.

What style of play do you favour?

I really like all 3 of the main tropes. They all have a special place in my heart because of the decks ive played with.

Mono wind has generally been a control deck. Midrange ice is tempo. Discard ice is quite aggressive.

I'm gunna vote for tempo. After a short amount of set up I do love using dull freeze or discard mechanics for those cheap easy wins. It's like eating 20 mcnuggets. You know it's bad but it feels so good.

Biggest hype for Opus 8?

Sherlotta, Fina, Alexander, Lasswell & Time Mage.

The one I will talk about is Time Mage though because I honestly think it's perfect for what ice needs right now.

Wind earth is an awful matchup where we can't choose Zidane, get fucked by big daddy etc etc. So we're investing 5cp for a huge tempo swing. Huge. I'm a big big fan. It's a multicard too so extra copies may be played.

Mono ice will return with a vengeance!!!

Rich - Team Calamity's synergy specialist.

How did you first get into FFTCG?

I have zero history of playing card games, so my interest in FFTCG was purely as someone who had played nearly every game released under the title, who just fancied trying it out. I bought the starter decks on release date to gauge if it was something that I was going to stick with, and pretty soon I was part of the Opus I stock disaster, hunting the shelves of every Toys'r'Us in driving distance trying to find packs (I'm not proud to admit that). Two and a half years, and many £'s later, here I am writing my first blog post after years of being a lurker on the fan page.

What style of play do you favour?

I have always run decks that I find genuinely fun to build, play and tweak. Sometimes that means I run stuff closer to the meta, and sometimes I run more obscure decks. The vast majority of decks that I run revolve around combo cards such as Yuri/Chelinka/Alhanalem or Seifer/Raijin/Fujin. Nothing turns me on more than the text "If you control card name "X"".

Biggest hype for Opus 8?

Just give me 3 Lasswell in foil. I love that the card has been made with a specific purpose in mind (Fire/Ice deck), and all 3 abilities feed into what those elements want to achieve. I'm not quite sure how best to make Lasswell work, but I'm sure someone much smarter than I am will find a way to make him a beast!

Tom - Blog editor, specialist subject the 'Tombo Combo'

How did you first get into FFTCG?

I got into the game by chance around Opus 4. I'd never played a TCG before but out browsing for a cheap PS4 game in the January sales I spotted Cloud and Squall booster packs in the bargain bin at a local game shop. A Final Fantasy card game, what even is that?! Went home, googled it, rushed back the next day, bought the lot and ordered all the starter sets. I still remember opening my first packs and getting so excited by how many shinys I was getting, like one in each pack, I must be so lucky! Next step a venture to Calamity as the only local place to play. I didn't win a game for about 2 months but was having the best time!

What style of play do you favour?

I like to do things differently so for me I'm all about the meme life and unashamedly so. I like to shy away from the meta (to my own detriment) as I get much more enjoyment from doing things myself and if someone tells me something is shit, it just makes me want to play it more. That said I still believe you can meme and be successful and hope to go someway to proving that this competitive season (here's to 0-X at every major tournament this year)

Biggest hype for Opus 8?

Not seen the full list yet but I'm buzzing for the new FF7 starter deck. I'll probably look to take the Earth parts into an Earth/Fire setup maybe utilising the new 15 characters if space. For me a big part of enjoying the game is using characters I actually know of and love so this should fit nicely. I've also got some ideas for a Fire/Water rush style deck and a new Opus launch wouldn't be complete without me trying to make FF8 work (where are you Cid Kramer!).

I hope this is the set where things really open up and we don't see the same few decklists dominating the circuit.

Team Calamity's OP runs every Friday from 7pm at Calamity Comics in Hatfield (North of London). You can also follow us on YouTube, Twitter and Facebook (teamcalamityfftcg) or contact us on email (teamcalamityfftcg@gmail.com). Alternatively just write anything on the FFTCG Fans Facebook page, Team Calamity's James Stevenson will no doubt comment on it.

[gimmetheheadcanons]

Public/Relations 3/?

A/N: It’s long. It soooo drags. But at least it’s here. TW: Mention of death/suicide.

3. Three

They walked in silence. The young actress in front of him, huddled up in his arms as he directed her through an obstacle course made up of swaying guests. As they entered the final leg of the night, a desperate DJ stepped up his efforts, blasting music appealing to waning legs one last time.

After finally having delivered them both to the privacy of the concierge’s front desk (and with minimal interference from any loiters in the venue’s large lobby), Klaus impatiently ushered the valet to return to him his black Aston Martin Vanquish. Fast. There was the grave matter of a shaking woman in want of whisking away; and naturally, ever the leading man at a moment’s notice, Niklaus Mikaelson was dying to be of assistance.

It felt odd. That unearned intimacy between them.

Bonnie Bennett, so small and exposed; and Klaus, determined to keep peeling at the layers until she appeared without a thread of cover.

Yet the sudden way their sniping subsided made him wonder if maybe – perhaps – there could be a second chance at a more favourable first impression. 

Almost instantly embarrassed by the ridiculous notion of him being required to make any sort of adjustment or impression, Klaus cast the sappy thought aside.

This was Elijah’s doing.

Or any of the others.

Those damned detractors and the low regard with which they held him.

Klaus had always found spite to be an excellent motivator, except thanks to the champagne lending a hand in fuzzing up his thoughts, he couldn’t quite work out what on earth it was he was trying to prove on this exact night.  On any ordinary day, no matter how inebriated, he’d always have enough nous left to barricade against any dangerous ideas a weak heart may have. Meet the forces gathering at the base of skull, head on, and cut them down without mercy. Stop himself from doing silly trite things such as slipping away from his own celebration for the sake of impressing a girl.

A girl.  

Yet Klaus could do little to deny it; something had changed upon observing the overwhelming pain on Bonnie Bennett’s face. The quick, cruel death of that airy little laugh he quite liked. Those blazing eyes worryingly wet and weepy. That firestorm which had so quickly excited him, suddenly snuffed out. All put together, such a pathetic picture had the power to pull at his chest, instantly inspiring an untried impulse

He actually wanted to help this girl.

Get her far enough away from here so he could once again poke and prod until this frightful cocoon burst and the Bonnie Bennett emerged, hopefully ready to take a second stab at that magical, made for syndication, sitcom banter he unashamedly sought after.

Make their own laugh track to muffle the sobering realities of unscripted life.  

Klaus frowned a little as their carriage finally approach.

But then what? Where would they go? And more importantly, would she stay with him? Or without any polite notice, just up and go. Cut her losses, just as his dear brother had.

The clock ran out. The moment for deliberation gone as Klaus was confronted by the bane of his daily existence – flashes of white light in the distance brewing up a terrible storm of tabloid scandal.  

Of course the parasites would’ve congregated to catch a glimpse of his court. Klaus groaned inwardly, feeling disappointed twice over – once for momentarily forgetting this detail and then for remembering.

The paparazzi, or more accurately those unable to deceive their way to legitimate press status or forcibly gain access to his guest list, had set up their own party across the street. Careful to adhere to the minimum distance required to avoid any altercations and additional days in court (and Heaven knows how Klaus enjoyed those); three men and a woman took a flurry of hurried photos of their favourite meal ticket.

Klaus rolled his eyes, imagining the gleeful eyes cowardly hidden behind monstrously oversized contraptions, hideously glued to where a human face ought to have been. On his own, each snap of him was worth a decent sum but whenever a beautiful woman was involved the rate tripled.

He was certain the bidding for any pictures taken tonight would be especially high.

Klaus turned to his right. Bonnie, still in a state of quiet distress, thankfully hadn’t noticed the vampires. Best to keep it as such by disappearing quickly.

Unfortunate for them both however, was that this latest unfortunate development meant Klaus’s plans were in drastic need of amending. He couldn’t very well risk a high-speed pursuit with a valued asset of the Disney corporation in the passenger seat.

Oh won’t you think of the children Niklaus!

Klaus let escape a small but grim laugh at his favourite past-time, pulling out from the depth of his memory a rather unkind impression of stuffy, proper, pain in the arse Elijah.

But with none of the awkwardness of having to admit defeat to a flesh and bone version of his brother, Klaus was free to heed the words of caution offered by his figment.

“No bother.” He called out, finally having made up his mind to return inside and thus throwing back the keys to the man who’d just delivered them to him. Klaus casually waved his hand over the car, attempting to deflect any questions with a masterful performance of his usual indifference. “I have no need for this now. Take it back.”

“And once again, need I remind you – be gentle.”

He received a swift nod from a quaking man familiar with the implied consequences. To Klaus that terrified trembling was just a perk he got to enjoy after all the diligent work he put in to consistently educating his fellow man, wherever he went. He watched as the valet and car disappeared at once, then turned to deal with the wrath of a woman he knew to be unlearned and unafraid.

“Why?” Bonnie shouted angrily at the apparent act of betrayal. Klaus withdrew slightly so as to avoid any possibility of being struck in the face.  

Still composed but only barely – Bonnie spared him.    

Cautious not to indulge the oglers and sadly unsure how long Bonnie’s self-restrained would last, Klaus carefully positioned himself with his back to the cameras before answering in a low whisper.

“Why should we be the ones to abscond into the night like bandits? I swear to you love, nothing but merriment awaits – should you choose return with me.” Klaus said ensuring his voice was soft and sweet enough to assuage her fears, offering up the sincere and practical solution of support against Parker.

One word from her and the buffoon should find himself flung out on his arse, free to model on this very curb for the long-lensed vermin he so adored.  

“I won’t leave your side Bonnie.”

But Bonnie perceptive eyes signalled to him she saw through to his core. The man they all sensed him to be. She saw through this obvious glitch in his programming, all the way through to the selfish curiosity under the surface inspiring such chivalry.  

“No.”  She answered predictably, inviting a sad smile from him.

Yes, there was a story here, Klaus could admit that whilst focussing in on the beautifully pained face before him. A story he desperately hoped to know. Meanwhile, was it so hard to believe that his instinct to protect her ran just as deep as his desire to distract himself from the foul mood his bothersome brother had left him in?

“Then perhaps I can offer you an alternative solution. One more agreeable to you.”

And for the second time that night, Klaus Mikaelson took hold of Bonnie Bennett’s hand in a bid to lead her to a safer haven.

-----

When they finally arrived at their new much more discreet location, a private penthouse located within the same building, Klaus couldn’t help but show off a little. After all, leading a life of luxury meant he had the luxury to do so.

The noticeably awe-struck young woman in his company drank in the immaculate interior of the space. He followed the music of Bonnie’s heels connecting with the limestone tiles. As she took lead, soft yellow lights fixed high above were coming to life to greet her and celebrate her bravery. She didn’t have to travel too far from him to explore, her eyes doing most of the work, scanning the entire open space all the way to high glass walls revealing a fully furnished outdoor seating area and a sky pool in the distance.

“Make yourself at home.” Klaus called out, pointing towards the richly black Edelman leather sofas as he made a beeline to the built-in butler bar. He was about to pour two glasses of something comforting for them, when it dawned on him mixing drink and despair may appear slightly predacious to his watchful guest. Instead, Klaus returned to Bonnie’s side holding a less sinful (and therefore much less fun) bottle of mineral water which she politely accepted.

“Thanks.”

A genuine warm smile spread across his face at the tiny one he spotted her lips were failing to fight back.

“I usually keep this space for the after party. A handful of noteworthy individuals, for light debate followed by much needed debauchery. However…seeing how deeply loathed I am by everyone and their mum at this point in time– a fact my dear brother reminded me of a couple hours ago – I’d rather put it to better use tonight.”

Again, Bonnie thanked him, causing his chest to swell up like a balloon.

Klaus knew the automatic, monosyllabic, society taught reply shouldn’t have warranted such a reaction from him; yet there was a potent power in being able to receive Bonnie Bennet’s praise. Perhaps he could set himself a new challenge and keep a tally of exactly how much gratitude he could gross over the course of the night.

“To harbouring fugitives.” Klaus said raising his own bottle of water for a toast.  

Bonnie resisted to clink plastic, choosing instead to roll her eyes at the bon mot.

“I’m not a fugitive.”

Klaus shrugged his shoulders, the glint in his eyes still very much intent on teasing her at the cost of the night’s takings.  

He glugged down his drink partly in bid to appear unconcerned about the way she left him hanging and partly to try and rehydrate enough so he could have his wits about him before attempt to engage with Bonnie once more. She stood with her own bottle unopened, stealing subtle glances just as he was.

Once his thirst had been managed, Klaus lazily swiped at his wet mouth, his left hand unable to mop up each rebellious drop he let carelessly slid down his chin and onto the naked flesh peeking out from the top of his loosened-up shirt.

“Well…” He said sensing Bonnie’s discomfort at the intentional combination of silence, staring and so-close-together-standing.  

“Now that I have obliged you so, will you –  at the very least –  grace me with an explanation as to why we have been banished from my own party.”

Bonnie hesitated for a moment before turning her face away and answering in a low voice.

“I don’t need to see him.”

Klaus’s jaw tensed at the distance she insisted on putting between them. Screwing back on the lid, he disposed of his bottle by frustratingly flinging it onto a nearby armchair, where it landed with a soft thud.

“That much I gathered.”

She appeared unable to get comfortable with him, her body still on high alert as she slowly began pacing the room whilst aiming to maintain the guise of leisurely browsing the full stocked bookshelves.

It was frustrating. The hold that idiot Parker seemed to have over this woman. A woman, Klaus, in the short span of time they’d become acquainted, assumed was fearless.    

“Rest assured, there is no tail in need of shaking here.” Klaus promised again urging her to take a seat on any of the numerous chairs in the room.

Bonnie however denied him once more, continuing to evade him by staying constantly on the move.

A little heavier handed and a little more in character, Klaus proceeded to press harder.

“As an objective third party observer, I find the only thing pursuing you at this moment is your personal demons regarding Mr. Parker.”

She appeared to tense at his direct reference to her co-star, halting in a stride long enough for Klaus to close the gap between them. Good, he thought, pleased with the result of the harsher tactic he chose to employ. Perhaps now she would be more open to his assistance, whilst he was still gracious enough to be offering it.

“Demons,” Klaus continued in a slow purposeful drawl, inching nearer and nearer until able to see the specific shades of brown – from dark to light – of each individual hair strand on the back of Bonnie’s head. Klaus observed the beginnings of a couple of soft curls marching out of time, at odds with the rest of her perfectly placed and professionally straightened locks; and he wondered, how many more would join their marvellous little mutiny by morning.

With her back to her, Klaus had to guess what was going on inside Bonnie’s head. Instead his mind was preoccupied with the way her thin shoulders rose and fell as she breathed in and out more deeply. Charmed by the rhythm, Klaus’s own breath followed hers – his nose taking in the scent of sweet feminine fragrance on her skin. It was warm and comforting, like rich berries in a summer fruit crumble drowned in smooth vanilla custard. Meant for consumption during the blackest of winters, to heat the soul and stain the corners of your mouth a bloody red.

She turned to face him, without any warning and almost startled him.

Almost.

“These demons. I’d be glad to exorcise them for you if you could just make them more corporeal, love.”

The sequence continued on whilst she was facing him – that up then down, in then out – until Klaus interrupted it by gently resting his hands atop Bonnie’s shoulders, commanding them to steady.

She didn’t gasp for him.

His disappointed eyes watched her doubtful ones, unable to win them over; her silence just about to start reminding Klaus that his patience was a finite resource in need of constant replenishing.

“Details Bonnie.” He said, following up with a more insistent growl he knew he would come to regret. “I demand them.”

Klaus found his planned interrogation aborted quite suddenly. However, not by any hostility of Bonnie’s but by the gentle interruption of beeping coming from somewhere on her person. It was the sound of an incoming text message, she chose to immediately answer.

Phone in hand and pushing past him, her shoulders savagely cut across his chest like a rugby player’s.

After a silent second, Bonnie let out a furious scream.  

Shaking with rage, her livid eyes were glued to the screen.

Intrigued, Klaus approached her to peer over her shoulder pryingly. Unfortunately, he was unable to catch the communication in its entirety when Bonnie once again shrieked.

“Argh! Damn it Alaric! Thanks for the heads up asshole.” She cursed upon having fully read the script herself, angrily smashing down her water on the marble counter in front of her. Not having noticed him walk up behind her, Bonnie bumped flat into his chest as she turned around.

“How about a little personal space?” She said her tone acerbic as she lashed out at him for the sins of another.

Hardly offended Klaus obliged, cordially stepping out of the way but not before mockingly putting both hands up and throwing her a wink.

Bonnie ignored him, angrily pressing away at the keyboard on her phone screen.  

Alaric Saltzman, Klaus knew the man as well as he did every agent who tried their luck at claiming him as a prize. For a time, Klaus toyed with the idea of striking up an alliance with the man, before quickly recognising that Saltzman’s body of work, in all its underwhelming mediocrity wouldn’t have been well-suited to Klaus’s needs.

Not in the long run anyway.

Klaus wickedly grinned, thinking back to wholesome redheaded he freed from a potential life sentence as the second Mrs. Saltzman; realising that for a short while, there was a need the agent – or to put more accurately the agent’s fiancée – did satisfy.  

His indulgence and mischief however had cost him in a way. Word got round and no agent in this town since managed to last beyond a couple of weeks managing Klaus. Each finding him too – what was it that Josh said – “mega intense and scary like a medieval torture expert guy”.

It was a gratifying sacrifice, if undertaken solely to punish Saltzman for his insolence. For the crime of daring to believe he and Klaus could be equals, the actor extracted his revenge most viciously. Taking from the man the love of his life, compelling her to lose herself in a moment of weakness, debasing her and discarding her. Still, it took just that on time of mixing pleasure and business for Klaus to see how quickly most fled from him.

Afraid of joining the pile of bodies he left in his wake.

Young Joshua must’ve been a glutton for punishment when he signed on with Klaus. Since the Saltzman affair, the pitiful boy had the pleasure of pulling double duty on all of the actor’s booking needs. Naturally, he did this collaborating with the patient people at William Morris Endeavour.

Done sending her text, Klaus wondered if Bonnie’s displeasure meant she could someday be persuaded to leave that dullard agent of hers and join him at the rival agency. Except, he quickly realised, that would require her to start viewing him in a much different light.

She must’ve been distracted enough by the unpleasant news she received, it slipped her mind to hold him to account for his earlier pushy behaviour. This would’ve been an ideal time to cease testing the patience of his guest, yet wholly undeterred and his impulsive nature getting the best of him, Klaus continued.

“Still waiting love.”

“Look Klaus,” Bonnie said finally snapping at him; the woman before him, far away from the timid, torn up creature he needed to coax into that lift. “Thank you for the rescue but you can return to your party. Okay? I’ll be out when I’m ready.”

This Bonnie, the one prone to turn on her heel and storm away from him, required a far more delicate touch. “Perhaps I can make arrangements to have you returned to your place of residence?” Klaus offered in a plea to appear reasonable.

But Bonnie didn’t need a moment to muse over his suggestion. Shaking her head immediately but looking somewhat despondent about having to do so, she replied weakly.

“No. I can’t. Not after tonight.”

With another piece of the puzzle in his possession yet somehow saddened by what it held, Klaus wavered a little.  

“Then I have a suggestion you may find either entirely pleasing or wholly preposterous.”

“Stay here.”

It was out there now. That dangerously weak heart of his finally successful in its intended coup; and Klaus’s deepest desire for company – a secret no more.  

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Klaus replied fully committed to this idiocy now.  

Bonnie took another look at the grand apartment he’d just made available to her. “I guess this is okay.”

Catching herself venturing into a territory occupied by the far more ill-mannered, Bonnie tried again –  a little more enthusiastic this time. “Good even. I mean – it’s good. Thank you, Klaus.”

Another Bonnie Bennett thank you for Klaus’s book. The idle angel on his shoulder sure had an unusually amount to brag about tonight.

“Well, not so fast.” Klaus added, reminding Bonnie there were terms attached to his offer. “I cannot vouch for what kind of pay there is in television but there are a few items here that’ll fetch a pretty penny online. Morbidity of fame I suppose.”

Deciphering his meaning with narrowed eyes, Bonnie finally conceded.

“Fine stay if you must.”

“Just don’t bother me okay?”

Klaus clapped his hands together jubilantly. “Now we’re finally seeing eye to eye, I’d like to revisit my earlier queries.”

He walked over to the largest sofa and sat, his hand outstretched hovering over the space next him where he’d visualised she should be. “Come sit with me.”

Bonnie let out an ironic laugh at the proposal. “You gotta be kidding me!”

“You’re not gonna trick me into some ridiculous Dr. Phil situation Klaus.” She promised with a resolute look on her face.

Klaus lazily stretched his arms out above him and yawned, before satisfyingly settling his back against the soft cushions further. He then cast a relaxed smile in Bonnie’s direction, hoping to entice her to come do the same. Her day must’ve started as early as his, if not earlier.

“Come now, you’ve been standing in those heels for long enough love.”

“No way. No matter how comfortable the couch, I refuse to share it with you.” Bonnie repeated.

Frustrated, Klaus grabbed the soft white throw pillows, snatching them out from under him and busily began rearranging them. Without looking at her he muttered under his breath what he knew could only be received as a menacing attempt at intimidation.  

“I’ll be sure to send Kai Parker your most affectionate greetings when I go then.”

Once again, Klaus made sure to use his full name for effect.

Dissatisfied with the thought of missing her reaction, Klaus put away his angry pout and turned to face Bonnie, adding with a sneer. “I so did enjoy him in this summer’s must-see superhero flick. Really remarkable how far he’s come from his humble beginnings as a teenage witch.”

Bonnie did not blink. It looked as though she’d been inoculated to his mean mouth after the first incident. Klaus was about to try something different to get that reaction he craved when she cut him off.

“Why are you doing this?” She demanded, completely throwing him.  

“Why are you fucking with me?”

Not sure how to reply to such a straightforward question, Klaus hid behind a mocking gasp of shock and opted to childishly mutter about her use of foul language instead. Unfortunately, the aggravated actress firmly stayed on topic.

“All night in fact! Do you even see what you’re like?”

All of a sudden, Klaus had been stunned into silence by her more measured tone and the crashing waves of righteous rage radiating from her threatening to batter his unprotected body.

This was nothing like he’d ever dealt with before. Similar words from his siblings often fell short because of their own failings being so laughably apparent to him. No, blasted Jiminy Crickets would seldom manage to escape without being mercilessly crushed by his fist.  

Yet here was Bonnie and having a bloody good go!

And it was different, he noted. Her inquires into his very character held no pretence of a search for higher moral reasoning. She didn’t care to teach him anything or even win for that matter. She just plain and simple wanted to know.

Demanded to know.

Why was he, Klaus Mikaelson, fucking with her?  

It was a brilliantly phrased little question, simple in every way and yet something told Klaus he was in no way capable of delivering the complexity of its answer.

With no response coming her way any time soon, Bonnie groaned, wearily throwing her arms up in the air.

Her annoyance flared up once more when Klaus made the mistake of smiling. Her eyes flashed widely in disbelief at the action.

“Why are you grinning like a villain? Have you really nothing better to do?”

Ready to incur another deadly glare, Klaus was surprised to see her face soften.  

“Come on man, why all this,” She whined in response to this uncharacteristic quietness she had to endure from him. “I don’t even know you.”

The plainly said statement, a desperate final attempt at trying appeal to his better nature. There are protocols in civilised societies, she beseeched him The pools of hazel staring back at him called for the decency to mind one’s own bloody business.  

Except, that’s where Bonnie Bennett had gone wrong.

Klaus Mikaelson, more beast than man, was hardly civilised.

“Oh don’t be daft.” He laughed for a second time, crossing his arms under his head casually, further propping up the pillows. “Of course, you know me. Everyone does.”

“Great.” Bonnie said, her face clearly regretting her efforts to try and reach him. Klaus frowned a little at how easily she gave up. “So where’d your babysitter go? The big brother?”

Her casual mentioning of Elijah replicated the same discomfort Kai Parker’s did. Klaus shifted awkwardly in his seat and Bonnie noticed.

“Oh wow. You’re all of a sudden bored of twenty questions when it’s your turn?” Bonnie said with a sneer ugly on her pretty face.  

Determined not to lose to her, Klaus answered frankly. “He should be where he prefers to be. Back in his hotel room in a deep untroubled slumber. Miles away from here. From me.” He said bitterly.

His earnest confession as to the reason for his aloneness had an unexpected outcome.

A sudden crash and the empty space next to him became occupied.

Bonnie let out a tired sigh, appearing exhausted by everything leading up to the moment to collapsed down next to him. It was odd having her choose to not only sit, but then to do so closely.

As her thigh pressed against Klaus’s, he turned his head slightly to get a better look at the profile of her face. Her heavily lashed eyelids were shut as she inhaled deeply, sinking further into the comforting cool leather. Using just the tip of her toes, she flicked off her right shoe followed by the left. Her perfectly pedicured and painted toes then giving a little victory wiggle.

“It’s a nice couch.” She hummed, her still lids shut.

“It is.” Klaus chuckled.

“So jerk brother huh?” Bonnie asked, her eyes opening to look around the room as if she had misplaced something.

Up close, Klaus noticed slightly dry flakes of darkly stained skin peeling off insides of her lips, revealing a fleshy pink in contrast to the impeccable matte coat of chestnut brown from earlier this evening.

Without being asked, Klaus found himself on his feet and heading to the counter, returning with her discarded bottle in his hand. Again, she thanked him when he opened it for her and Klaus counted that as being five now in his favour.

“Jerk brother.” He concurred taking his seat once more.

“And what of your handler? Your agent, Saltzman was it?”

Bonnie’s mood soured at the mention of the man. “Urgh, just found out he ditched me to deliver his twins.”

Klaus was surprised at her answer.

Why the old bugger sure bounced back rather marvellously! So, it was two sets of tiny feet, and not his own cold ones that kept Alaric Saltzman away this evening. But why instead of being elated for her mentor, was Bonnie Bennett clearly furious? Surely there had to be some greater transgression than this? Or was she a far pettier person than Klaus had realised.

“What a monster.” He said mockingly.

Bonnie snorted. “Yeah well, he could’ve drop a warning he was going to be leaving me with one.”

“Poppycock! I’ve been a perfect gentleman.”

When Bonnie allowed herself to giggle at his exaggerated exasperation for even a second, Klaus noted how his ears, coming through the other side of a severe joyless drought, were beginning to grow fond of the sunny sound.

“Like hell you have.” She said slipping on a brief smile, comfortable enough to lazily slap the side of his thigh with the back of her hand without really looking at him. The impression left by her touch tingled for a moment thrilling him. Then the smile, just as easily slipped from her face leaving nothing but a pool of quiet bitterness in her eyes.

“I didn’t mean you.” Bonnie added in a low whisper, unblinking eyes gazing into the distance.

Klaus inhaled deeply, the solemn air between them thick and heavy.

Alaric Saltzman’s failings finally revealed.

A heads up.  

“Kai Parker.” He said without even the faintest hint of a sneer. She hadn’t anticipated on him being at the party. Alaric must’ve withheld that information from her.  

“Yep.”

Klaus shook his head sadly, trying on for size the part of a supportive friend. “He seems like such a prince too. Making the rounds at children’s wards in his silly tights and cape.”

“Well what do you want me to say? That Disney money got him playing you all 24/7 okay?” Bonnie retorted, straightening up.

Klaus knew he’d gone wrong, his attempts at sincerity rang false.

“Okay.” He said yielding to her and hoping she’d return to that almost tranquil state of earlier, teasing him with a touch or two.

But it wasn’t to be. As if only just slowly waking from a hazy dream and suddenly aware of her surroundings, Bonnie Bennett’s guard came up in full force.

“Are you friends with him?”

It was Klaus’s turn to jolt awake.

“Excuse me?”

“I said are you friends with him?” She demanded more sternly.

Klaus’s chuckles were dismissive. “Why? Did he pass along a lovely little handwritten note asking us to be mates love?”

Bonnie shot up.

On her feet and at a distance, she repeated herself.  

“I mean it Klaus. I need to know.”

“Are you friends?”

“No.” He said but by the time he answered they’d returned to their earlier roles. “Bloody hell. I said no didn’t!”  

To his horror, Bonnie would not abide.

In one swift motion, Klaus rose also. Back to facing off with Bonnie, but now with a much greater height advantage than the barefoot actress.

“We hardly travel similar circles. Just the overcrowded ones in need of a good cull if you ask me.”

Sensing she needed more than that Klaus decided to spell out for her exactly how he felt about the Kai Parkers of the world.

“I never thought of him as anything but a self-centred, man-child with mediocre flair for the arts yet an unmatched need for constant attention.”

He was met with raised eyebrows from the young woman.

“Don’t look at me like that!” He insisted growing increasingly irritated she would continue to question him. “I mean it love.  Believe me, we have nothing in common. He’s a hack. A Buzzfeed quiz favourite, constantly clamouring for followers across his social media like a harlot.”

Finally, Bonnie grinned a little. “Hashtag blessed.” She quipped in a voice much too heavy to be actually humorous.

Finally, Klaus watched as she settled back into her seat and convinced he did enough to ease her her doubts about him, followed.

“Well, I guess you know better than anyone not to believe what you read in the papers.” Bonnie observed, her head turning to face him. Her nose may as well have be touching his cheek but Klaus was too troubled by the mystery she still hid from him to take any joy in his triumph.  

“On the contrary love, when it comes to me, I must urge you – believe every word.” He said completely unironically.

“Even Carol Lockwood?”

“I – sorry – I didn’t meant to – ” Bonnie stammered her face utterly changed by the dark weight behind those words. Her mouth slammed shut; Klaus’s grim look, a judge’s gavel coming down on hard on such the feeble defence her lips were aspiring to form.  

“I don’t know why I said that.”

The choppy waves threatening to form above Klaus’s brows instantly settled, the flood of emotion never quite reaching the shores of his eyes. Gripped by the eerie stillness of a drowning victim, he sat unresponsive.  

There was hardly any point to it. The pens dripped in poison had done their job, effectively killing this conversation as it had the one with Elijah.

“The topic exhausts me.” A whisper of life left in him confessed.

Klaus shifted in his seat slightly ready to resist any and all of Bonnie’s resuscitation attempts. He expected a taste of his own medicine; bracing himself for a barrage of prying questions meant to unsettle.

Bonnie, far kinder and empathetic he thought the descendants of Adam could ever be, simply decided to nod.

“I understand.”

Understanding. His heart ached a little at the prospect of such a thing – he was the keeper of far less publicised ghost stories. Ones good souls would greatly struggle with.

“How could you possibly love.”

Gallons of redness spilling over the sides and onto the tiles, setting Klaus up to lose his footing and fall when he found her. A bathtub transformed into an overfilled wine glass. His mother, always such a careless drinker, had decidedly drained herself. The shirt he wore that day suddenly a bib, soaking up the mess she left for him as Klaus lost consciousness on the floor.

Last thought on his mind?

She finally did it.

Escaped them all to other side.  

[sulietsexual]

Veronica Mars, Buffy, Angel, Charmed

Veronica Mars

Nah | haven’t seen yet | didn’t like/gave up | like it | love it | highly recommend.

a reason why: I love the first season of Veronica Mars, it was cohesive and tight and well-written, with a great mystery and an intriguing and interesting protagonist but after that the series went downhill. Season 2 was convoluted and long-winded and the climax was unsatisfying and Season 3 introduced a new format and several new characters which I just didn’t find all that interesting or endearing. The movie, however, was excellent and felt very much like the first season.

BtVS

Nah | haven’t seen yet | didn’t like/gave up | like it | love it | highly recommend.

a reason why: Obviously I love BtVS, even if I do find that the shine has come off it these days, especially in the later seasons. But the first three seasons are still fantastic television, even by today’s standards, and the stories they tell are fascinating and endearing. Seasons 4 and 5 are still solid seasons, even if Season 4 does get a bit lost towards the end. But the final two seasons of the show really taint my enjoyment and I’m forever wishing that Season 5 had been the final season of the show.

Angel

Nah | haven’t seen yet | didn’t like/gave up | like it | love it | highly recommend.

a reason why: AtS is my favourite tv show of all time, I will never stop recommending it. It took was BtVS built and made it even better, with complex and layered characters with amazing arcs, compelling villains, amazing relationships and a central character who grew so much from his tenure on BtVS. AtS has five pretty solid seasons, even if they do all have their individual issues, it has a fantastic grasp on its themes and central mission statement and it’s just a fantastically noir show which everyone should watch.

Charmed

Nah | haven’t seen yet | didn’t like/gave up | like it | love it | highly recommend.

a reason why: I unashamedly love Charmed but I’m the first to admit it’s not the groundbreaking or original show. That being said, I love this show for its heart, it’s amazing characterisation, its characters and the central relationship between the sisters. It has some great episodes and the first four seasons are pretty solid, as far as 90s television goes. Def one of my favourite shows.

[drunkenhills]

Supernatural rewatch

I have been rewatching all of Supernatural for the third time. As I have been reading a ton of meta on the show, I have found a new understanding of it, a clearer grasp on its themes and a deeper appreciation for its storytelling.

So as I am rewatching I will share notes on some of the episodes. For myself first, but feel free to react!

This section follows a thematic logic. It won’t necessarily always be the case.

Episode 2.03 ‘Bloodlust’

Season 2! I love season 2!!

Oh, and I do love a good episode name. The vampires’ lust for blood, and Gordon’s, hellbent on what is beyond revenge at this point; pure hatred. If it has fangs, it has to go.

This episode is the first to set up the grey area of hunting and the definition of monsters. Is it anything that’s evil? Anything that’s not human? This is one of my favourite themes throughout the show and I will probably talk about it a lot.

This episode serves as foreshadowing for what John told Dean, which we only learn in 2.10, the second instalment of the Gordon storyline.

 ‘I guess there’s a lot your old man didn’t tell you’

John is all over this episode. He’s in Gordon, he’s in Dean, and he’s mentioned a few times, through stories and strolls down memory lane.

Gordon is obviously the biggest John mirror. First of all, he’s hunting vampires, which is what all three Winchesters hunt together in 1.20. The way Sam and Dean bust in at the last minute to save Gordon in the first half is a direct mirror to a scene in that episode. Mentioning John and his admiration for him is like the third thing he says when they meet. Not to mention Sterling K. Brown has a fantastic presence that matches John’s quiet strength.

Dean takes to him right away and they bond over hunting. Gordon fills the void left by John’s death and Dean mirrors him, learning from him, just like he imitated his father his entire life, down to his car, clothes and taste in music (see 3.10). Sam even calls him out on it in the third act, with a line that’s a bit on the nose.

Even the very first conversation between Sam, Dean and Gordon is telling. It’s all about what’s under the surface, which we get glimpses of by looking at Dean’s reactions. Sam and Dean are curious to hear about the habits of hunters and everything about the hunting life that they know very little about. What’s relevant is what Gordon says when he realizes the brothers have no idea what he’s talking about. There is indeed a lot that John didn’t tell them, which is a point of conflict between him and Sam when they reunite in 1.20. But Dean has an interesting reaction to this line. It makes him realize something. He didn’t tell us a damn thing about the hunting community, but he had time to tell me to kill my brother?

Of course, we won’t understand his reaction until much later. This episode is purely about foreshadowing, which means that a lot of things escape our understanding upon first watch. And this is where Gordon serves the narrative as a John mirror: he is willing to kill anything that isn’t human, even his own family.

 ‘It’s all black and white, there’s no maybe.’ / ‘Decapitations aren’t my idea of a good time, I guess.’

This episode highlights a fundamental difference about Sam and Dean’s outlook on hunting that will come up throughout the whole show. Sam hunts because he has to. To follow John’s orders, for revenge, to honor his memory. Ever since season 1, he has made conscious choices to hunt even though he claims to hate it, because of external reasons, or to serve a goal. But Dean is made for the life. He’s a hunter through and through. Hunting defines him.

At least that’s what this episode wants us to believe, and though I’m sure it’s somewhat true, that’s not the whole story. Dean only became a hunter because his father wanted him to. There is no way he enjoys it as much as the episode suggests; part of it is keeping the performance for Sam, playing the part. But another aspect is narrative. It’s about the fallout when Dean realizes he killed a somewhat innocent creature trying his best. Dean’s face full of blood right after he kills the vampire, red spots in the otherwise neutral colors, is extremely uncomfortable to watch. And that’s before we know the truth about those particular vampires.

At the bar in the next scene, Sam feels wrong and he takes issue with Gordon, like he did with John. Gordon calls him ‘Sammy’, trying to bond, but it doesn’t work out. After he leaves, Gordon textualizes that difference, lumping him and Dean together opposite Sam as born hunters. He mentions that he sees no shades of grey. As we will later learn, the vampires aren’t killing people, but he hunts them anyway. Dean doesn’t agree, but instead brings up Sam as potentially disagreeing with that black and white approach, which his only a proxy to show that he’s not sure either. He’s not quite there with Gordon. He looks more and more lost in that scene whereas Gordon increases in confidence and steadiness. But he’s so desperate for approval, for a John substitute, that he lets him talk, though his expression at the end of their conversation is telling. He’s not entirely into it.

In the end, Sam’s intuition was right. He had the sense to mentally estimate the route to the nest. He’s the one showing the instincts of a born hunter, not Dean, who lets his grief and anger at John completely cloud his judgement.

 ‘Gotta keep my game face on…’

When the analogy between the vampire and Sam becomes clear, Dean is disgusted with himself for killing that vampire earlier. His anger at the end is confusing upon first watch. He roughs up Gordon more than needed, not because he is protective of the vampires – his empathy only goes that far – but because Gordon represents his father’s last order, the horror of what he may have to do, and the part of himself who went buddy-buddy with Gordon. He is angry at himself for falling for it. And he is angry at John for what he dumped on his shoulders.

If family members can be monsters, it would probably stop any hunter, but not Gordon as he unashamedly admits to killing his sister when she turned. And it makes Dean sick, because he sees himself. He sees the task that lays ahead, of potentially killing Sam if he turns bad. He sees himself in Gordon and he sees himself in John.

Talking about John’s death, Gordon and Sam both describe the pain as a “(black) hole”. But whereas Gordon advises Dean to use the pain and throw himself in the job, Sam warns Dean not to “fill it with whoever” he wants to, because it would be “an insult to his memory”. To which Dean reacts by punching him. What memory? The last, horrible thing he told Dean?

 ‘Once you have our scent, you’ll keep tracking us. It doesn’t matter where we go.’

As announced by the double entendre in the title, the episode flips the hunting narrative on its head. Last time we saw vampires, they were bloodthirsty hunters. This time, their leader Lenore is the one who tells Sam “You have our scent”, the phrase used by John last season to describe the tracking abilities of vampires last season.

When she mentions hunters tracking and killing them, Lenore uses a whole bunch of words that hunters use when they talk about the monsters and the predators. This time, the monsters are the prey, and even though humans hunting monsters is kind of the basis of the show, it has a different flavor here, and again asks the question: Who is the monster?? Even though Sam’s blood made her instincts kick in, the difference between Gordon and Lenore is that she knows when to stop. In the end, she resisted the temptation to go darkside. The bloodthirsty one, in the end, wasn’t the vampire, but the human.

When Sam tells Dean that the vampires aren’t killing people, Dean is adamant that they’re lying. I find this fascinating. Shouldn’t he jump at the occasion to prove that they/Sam can fight their ‘true nature’ and be good in the end? Or is he terrified of the implication that Gordon is killing good creatures – that John would have killed Sam, even without him turning bad?

References: 1.20, 2.10, 3.10

[littlemissnellie]

☺️ Cody from your Golgotha Manor story!

Aaaaah! Thank you Savannah! Glad to know you’re interested in my new characters! :D I’m just sorry that it took me so long to get around to answering this!

Anyway, here you go! 10 facts about bby Cody McCord:

He’s never seen without his black baseball cap. His older brother gave him it as a parting gift when he went away to college. Cody was only eleven at the time, so the fact that his brother was moving out was already hard, but the fact that he and his brother were practically inseparable at home just made it even more difficult. Wearing his brother’s baseball cap makes it feel like he’s still around though, which is a huge comfort to him.

He lied a lot to his friends when he first moved to Windenburg; he thought that that was what he had to do in order to impress them and win them over. Now it’s turned into a bit of a bad habit though. There’s no real reason for him to lie to them anymore, but he’s just gotten so used to doing it that he’ll find himself lying about even the simplest of things.

He really wants to be an astronaut when he leaves school, he always has. He’d love to go to space, of course, it’s fascinated him ever since he was a little kid, but the older that he gets, the actual engineering and mechanics that would get him there start to fascinate him even more. Basically, he’s just a huge maths nerd.

He’s genuinely really intelligent, but frequently plays it down around his friends because he thinks that will help him fit in with them more.

His closest friend is definitely Johnny, but he doesn’t always like to admit that to himself because he thinks that will turn him into a social outcast, like Johnny, by default. He knows that he can unashamedly be himself around Johnny, whereas he feels as if he always has to pretend to be someone he’s not to impress his other friends. But he’ll forfeit being himself around Johnny almost every time for a taste of popularity and attention from the ‘cool kids’.

Chase, Cody’s most popular friend, has been planning to get their whole group dates with cheerleaders for prom in the summer. But the more that the idea is brought up, the more uncomfortable the thought of it makes him feel. He keeps trying to tell himself that it’ll be fine and that he’s got to do it to fit in with the rest of the guys, but he can’t help but feel like the whole things it just…wrong for him. He doesn’t know why, but he absolutely hates himself for it.

He constantly quotes movies. He’s a total movie nerd in the first place, but he always catches himself mumbling some line of dialogue. He’s got pretty good at not doing it in front of his popular friends, but whenever he takes the time out of his day to actually spend with Johnny he can completely relax and reel off as many dumb movie quotes as he likes. They sometimes play games to see who can slip the most into their conversations.

He’s left-handed and constantly has ink smudges all over said hand. I know this one’s short but sssshh, leave me alone

He has an unhealthy obsession with popcorn, it’s like his favourite food in the whole world. And every night after school he’ll go and pop some, in the popcorn machine his older brother got him for Christmas three years ago (which is one of his all-time favourite gifts), drop a bowl off in his little sister’s room for her and then sit and eat it on his bed whilst binge-watching tv shows on his laptop.

He has a natural snort in his laugh that he’s really insecure about. He always tries his best to fake a normal laugh most of the time, especially around Chase and the others, but it slips out from time to time and he literally wants the ground to swallow him up every time that it happens. Johnny isn’t phased by it at all though, and the guy that he sits next to in maths always smiles fondly at him whenever he hears it…

There you go! Sorry it was so long! Hopefully it made up for how late it was and helped you to learn a little more about my bby Cody! Hope you liked it! And if you want to know some more about any of my other characters then feel free to send me more!

[girldressedinblack]

Rec-your-own (fanfiction edition)

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

Thanks to @emilyweepsforpilfrey​ for tagging me- I mean I won’t tag more people because I think you’ve covered that and I don’t want to pester people but here we go! Time to actually look through all the fanfic I’ve wrote so far!

A Second Chance to be Good (Doctor Who: Twelfth Doctor/ Missy, Missy/ Female OC, Female OC/ Male OC, Bill/ Many girls)

Pretty sure all my favourite things are things I’m working on because I liked the ideas enough so hey- here’s a load of my own fics I’m going to recommend which I rarely update and I write selfishly because I like them.

Anyway!

A follow up of another fic I wrote called One Last Chance to be Good (and it’s tiny universe of shipping moments which I didn’t want to put in the main story because it wasn’t originally going to ship them but hey!) except way more interesting with a better plot, more sex, more emotions and apparently I ship everyone together (possibly- depends how the characters go) except Bill with guys (because ew). It’s pretty much me going ‘hey- my character has unfinished business here with this new canon of Missy ‘dying’ so I have to a) fix that death and b) make time loops happen.

And hey- lookie there- spoilers for bits I haven’t written yet! Let’s stop there before I spoiler more bits for anyone who actually does want to read it!

Favourite part (so far): “Put them in the sink if you aren’t going to finish your own.” She says, gesturing to the drinks as she stands, “I’m calling him now and then we’re going straight away.” Florence says, already half way through the doorway.

For seconds the Doctor stares at her, bewildered with the speed with which the woman reacted and planned.

Then, slowly, he stands and makes his way to the sink to wash out the pair of mugs.

I can’t decide if I find the image (of the Doctor doing something domestic because a short human he barely knows asked) hilarious or sad because it speaks of his desperation and utter out-of-depth-ness that he wouldn’t even question it.

Shift (Doctor Who: Twelfth Doctor/Missy, Bill Potts/Missy (possibly if I keep going??))

I guess technically this one is finished unless I find the time to write more because I 100% could. I wrote the premise down the evening of The Pyramid at the End of the World which is why it’s AU because although I had my suspicions I thought it was interesting and then found it again quite recently. It’s the only way I could realistically pair Bill and Missy so I would quite like to work on it eventually, haha!

Favourite lines: The Mistress feels her heart warm, hope blossom there in conflict with her old memories and self.

“Thank you.” She whispers, pressing her hand against the glass, opposite the humans.

“Bill.” She finishes, eyes intent on the young woman’s.

To Lose (Doctor Who: Twelfth Doctor/Missy, Missy/Simm!Master, Simm!Master/Twelfth Doctor)

Missy’s redemption outing falls apart in a different way than the Doctor could have ever expected. Featuring broken Time Lords and their problematic love for each other.

Favourite part:  "Just kiss me." And she does, arching up to press her open mouth to his, desperate for the validation of contact. 

Her hands grip tightly at his shirt front. The Doctor stands, fists clenched and eyes averted. He wants to pull her from her previous incarnation's grasp and take her away- to the Tardis- safe.

The Master does not react.

The Mistress pulls away, fingers tightening against his shirt. She bows her head to his chest, trying to choke back her crying.

"You really are so desperate." He utters, tilting her head back to look into her eyes.

He crushes his lips against hers. She parts her lips obediently, eyes closing tightly as he grips her face, tongue moving over hers. Even as he kisses her, as unrelenting as she kisses others, she cries.

The Master pulls away and lays her down again. He blows out a breath, eyebrows arching upwards.

"Well I really wish I didn't have to be you." He says with a grimace, standing again. 

The Mistress clenches her teeth and rolls over again, wracked by sobbing.

"Why did you do that to her?" The Doctor bites out, finally striding up to the Master. There is only inches between the Mistress and her past incarnation but the Doctor steps into that space regardless. 

Road Trip (Doctor Who: Heather/Bill)

I really, really, REALLY can’t wait to get back to this! 

This is unashamedly crack with my signature ‘I can’t leave emotions alone!’ moments. Premise is that Bill misses the shuttle’s ladder and the Masters shoot off into space with Nardole- these three then have to deal with each other (Missy feeling like she has to bow to her past and having a very damaging relationship with him when she isn’t at her most stable which makes things worse with Nardole who feels sympathy for Missy and wants to help her because he sees she’s getting better but he is terrified of both her and Simm!Master and knows that Simm!Master would happily kill them both to alleviate boredom and Simm!Master hating Nardole for not being him or the Doctor and Missy for being ‘weaker’ and having ‘given in’ to the Doctor which he sees as pathetic). Also featuring the Doctor as ‘that old relative whose gay space grandaughter randomly visits from time to time with her cute space girlfriend’ and Bill and Heather as universe honeymooners.

Favourite part: The Master forces the handle and they shoot off, just managing to blow up the wall in front of them before they crash. The Mistress shrieks in excitement, arms in the air as they smash through layer after layer of metal, only picking up speed.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Shouts Nardole helpfully, "And I don't even really eat anymore." He adds as they force their way through yet another floor.

In a flash of flesh tone a human farmer yells at them angrily, waving a pitchfork.

They keep going, crashing through level after level, leaving smoking craters throughout the ship.

The Master laughs as the android holds on for dear life, the chair creaking beneath his fingers. 

The Mistress laughs at the thrill of travelling again- they're going so fast! It's exactly like a roller coaster with more destruction.

Then they're in space.

All three of them look at each other in shock as they shoot through the side of the ship and out into the universe.

Eventually they slow, the Master easing back from the pedal before they shoot straight into a star.

"I think I misjudged." He says evenly.

Comfort of Understanding (Doctor Who: Twelfth Doctor/Missy, River/Twefth Doctor, River/Missy)

I could so happily write more of this!! I think I just ship Missy with everyone really if my brain finds a way to let her connect.

Missy believes the Doctor died facing the Cybermen and leaves to grieve only to be found by River who doesn’t know the Doctor is dead. Somehow River helps ease the pain even if Missy can’t tell her what she believes.

Rive is just so warm and lovely and beautiful and precisely what this version of Missy needs. Actually- thinking about it- I bet River would have been at least as good as the Doctor (maybe more?) for helping Missy try and redeem herself except the whole thing about Missy and the Doctor being childhood friends which is why the attachment and trust and love is there and they’re willing to help each other but food for thought I guess?

Favourite part: “You know.” She mumbles, placing her trembling hand back in her lap.

Quiet comes between them once again.

Footsteps.

A set of dull thumps as the woman clad in worn leather and tight jeans sits beside her.

Warmth, emanating from her.

“You’re the Master. Aren’t you?” Asks River, “He did this to you.” She clarifies.

Missy nods, incapable of words.

“Kind of.” She admits when she can speak, words she didn’t know she had thought, “I asked him.” She says. The Mistress doesn’t look at River but feels River’s gaze travelling across her.

What does she see?

A mass murderer? Her husband’s friend from college? A broken old woman?She wants to ask but she doesn’t.

A hand slides around her shoulders, containing the shaking and the Mistress feels herself lean into this strange woman- one of the Doctor’s wives.

“What do you mean kind of?” Asks River.

The Mistress closes her eyes, listens to the beating of River’s single heart. Her arm is warm around her.

She finds her words.

“I used the name Mistress to fool him. It stuck and changed with me as I changed. Master feels-” The Mistress struggles with the emotion.

“Like it doesn’t fit. Like clothes you wore in another body when you try them on again.” River says, understanding implicitly.

Missy nods.The woman’s arm squeezes her shoulder lightly, a comfort.

[maliciouslycreative]

created for @spnpolybingo Title: Player Three Is Now Connected Ship: Dean/Castiel/Michael Square: Retail Workers Rating: T Word Count: 2063 AO3 link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11242086 Tags: Alternate Universe: Retail, Video Games, Mass Effect, Polyamory, Humour, Awkwardness

------

Dean would be the first to admit that working at Final Encounter Gaming wasn’t how he’d planned to spent the last 5 years of his life. He’d certainly never intended to stay this long because honestly the pay was kinda shit and retail had a tendency to suck the life right out of you. Not to mention his boss, Zachariah, knew nothing about gaming except that there was a lot of money in it. So here Dean was, working a shit job for shit pay just because at this point Zachariah let him have pretty much free reign of the store.

So when Zachariah waltzed in on Tuesday morning Dean knew something was up. Zachariah never came in this early on a Tuesday. “Good morning, Dean-o!” Zachariah practically sung.

Dean plastered the biggest fake smile on his face that he could muster. “Good morning, boss.”

“So, I know you’re pretty good for staff right now but my nephew needed a job so he’s going to be starting this Friday. He only needs a couple shifts a week, so I’m sure you’ll have no issue working him into the schedule.

“That sounds great,” Dean lied through his teeth.

“Good to hear!” Zachariah clapped Dean on the shoulder then started heading to his office in the back. “I told him to come in while you were here Friday so you can show him the ropes.”

“Sounds great...” Dean made a disgusted face after Zachariah was out of view. This was a disaster. Every one of Zachariah’s family members that he’d given a job to were a nightmare to work with.

First had been Bartholomew. The guy had walked in like he owned the place and had expected Dean to do everything he asked. He’d known virtually nothing about video games and had been endlessly condescending to customers and employees alike. Dean had been ecstatic when Bartholomew had gotten into law school across the country.

Next had been Hael. She’d seemed OK at first but had quickly descended into an unholy terror. She’d hated how sexist and vulgar so many games were and wasn’t afraid to express her opinion on them. Dean totally agreed but he also really wanted to keep his job and scaring any and all of the customers away wasn’t the way to do it. She also had this super intense look in her eyes that screamed murder. He endured nearly six months of her murder glares and watching teenage boys leave the store in tears before she got a job with the IRA as a tax auditor.

Lastly there was Samadriel. Samandriel wasn’t a bad employee and really Dena liked the guy. He was smart and funny and, unlike Zachariah’s last two relatives, really loved video games. He was however extremely shy and horribly clumsy. Yah Dean was prone to doing awkward things when he got nervous but Samandriel had it down to an art form. He’d even managed to give Dean second hand embarrassment a couple of times. On at least three occasions Dena had to coax a sobbing Samandriel out of the bathroom with a chocolate bar. After four months he’d gotten a job at a software design company where he never had to deal with the public again.

So wen Friday rolled around Dean had his bar set pretty low for whoever this Castiel guy was. All Zachariah had told Dean was that Castiel was a good Catholic boy who was going to school to get a business degree. Honestly Dean was expecting a younger version of Zachariah himself.

“Umm, excuse me.” Someone said from the other side of the counter.

Dean jumped a little. He’d been so deep in thought that he hadn’t even heard anyone enter the store. Putting on his best retail smile Dean turned around and locked eyes with a drop dead gorgeous guy. He did a quick once over (dark sex hair, blue eyes, and holy shit was that a tattoo peeking out from under his left t-shirt sleeve?).

“Hi! How can I you to be helped. I mean I can help you. No. Fuck. Shit I mean...” Dean took a deep breath. “Welcome to Final Encounter, how may I help you today?”

The gorgeous guy chuckled and stuck out his hand. “Hi, I’m Castiel and I’m looking for...” he squinted at Dean’s name tag, “you apparently.”

Dean wanted to die. “I’m so sorry.” Dean took Castiel’s hand and shook it. “I’m not usually this much of a disaster. You’re not really what I was expecting.”

“Oh?” Castiel quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah. You don’t seem like an asshole and you’ve got a tatty and you’re like super hot.” Dean’s eyes widened as he realised what he’d said.

This however caused Castiel to throw back his head and let out a full bodied laugh. After he finished laughing he shot Dean a gummy smile. “I think we’re going to be to get along great, Dean.”

And boy did they get along. Castiel quickly became Dean’s favourite coworker. Sure Castiel’s video game knowledge was pretty limited since he’d only been able to play them since he moved away for college. He’d however listen with rapt attention whenever Dean would talk about various games. The two had even taken to getting together at least once a week for a few hours to play games together to help fill in the gaps of Castiel’s knowledge.

The only downside was the ever mounting sexual tension. For one Dean made a point of never fooling around with coworkers. It never ended well. For two Castiel wasn’t out to his family. He was very unashamedly gay but he didn’t want to make a fuss with his family until after he had graduated since his college was being paid for by his parents. So the two of them had settled on shamelessly flirting with each other. Though it had taken nearly all of Dean’s self control not to ravage him when Castiel had pulled up his shirt sleeve to reveal an N7 tattoo.

That had been nearly three weeks ago and it was still driving Dean wild. It probably didn’t help that Castiel had just casually slapped his ass while walking by. Fuck, Dean was going to have to go out to find a lay because his right hand and mshenko fanficiton weren’t cutting it any more. Thank god they were like 10 minutes from closing.

The door swung open and someone entered the store. Dean had to swallow a sigh. He sure as shit didn’t want to deal with any last minute customers. Dean put on his best retail smile and turned around. “Hi, how can I help you tonight?” He felt so lucky that he didn’t look into those gorgeous green eyes until he was done saying his spiel because he definitely would have fucked it up. His hair was perfectly styled and, so help him, the guy was wearing a black wasitcoat over a dark grey dress shirt. This was not helping Dean’s boner situation.

“Hi, I was wondering if you could give me a game suggestion?” He shot Dean a million dollar smile and then very obviously looked Dean up and down.

“Uhh, sure,” Dean said, gripping the counter tightly.

“You see...” the guy leaned in closer and Dean got a whiff of his cologne. He smelled fucking divine. “I just love Mass effect. The story’s fantastic and I just love the characters. Especially Kaidan, you know? I just want a piece of that sexy Canadian beefcake.”

“Yeah,” Dean swallowed hard and tried to not look at the guy’s lips. Of course instead he made the mistake of locking eyes with the guy and holy shit he was giving him bedroom eyes. Fuck Dean was so weak. He was going to ask this guy out. He was so done with being professional. “Yah, Kaidan’s my favourite too. So how about we-”

“Michael?” Castiel was now standing next to Dean, hands on his hips, glaring at the guy across the counter. “What are you doing?”

“Well, you said Dean was absolutely adorable when he got flustered so I just had to come see for myself.”

Castiel let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re terrible.”

“But you love me.” Michael said.

Castiel’s face softened and he smiled. “I do.”

“What?” Dean croaked.

“Dean, this is my fiance, Michael.” Castiel gestured at Michael.

“What?!” Dean’s mouth fell open and he glanced between Michael and Castiel nervously. Shit fuck goddamn fucking shit how had he missed the fact that Castiel was engaged. ‘I should uhh...” Dean started inching towards the back room. “Just let you two do your thing or whatever. I’ll be back in a few!” Dean all but sprinted to the back.

When he got to the stock room he practically slammed the door shut. Goddamn he was so stupid. Of course a guy like Castiel had a fucking fiance!

Dean grabbed the broom near the door and began aggressively sweeping the floor because he needed something to do. He was on his second pass of the floor when the door swung open and Castiel entered. Dean froze like a raccoon that had just been caught digging through your trash at 3AM.

“Dean,” Castiel tried to being but Dean just waved him off.

“No, it’s cool. You got a fiance. It just surprised me is all. I’m so fucking sorry that I was so goddamn unprofessional and was always flirting. That was really uncool of me and-”

“Dean,” Castiel gently laid a hand on dean’s shoulder, “I’m the one who should be apologising”

“No man, really you-”

“No, Dean, listen-”

“Cas, it’s cool, we’re cool-”

“Dean! Just shut up and let me explain!” Castiel’s grip tightened slightly on Dean’s shoulder then he let out a little sigh, released Dean and stepped back.

Dean’s mouth snapped shut and he stared at Castiel in surprise. He’d never seen Castiel yell before.

“I didn’t tell you because… well I liked you, Dean. And I wanted to see if this could go somewhere.”

“So what, I was just gonna be your booty call? Your man on the side? And then you were gonna go home every night to Michael” Dean was practically yelling by the end, the pitch of his voice steadily rising with the volume.

Castiel sighed. “Of course not, that wouldn’t be fair to either of you. Look, Michael and I have been together on and off since we were 16. We love each other very deeply and we’re extremely honest with each other. I would never cheat on him. However we’re not entirely what most people would call a conventional couple. We have somehwat of an open relationship and we’re both polyamorous.”

Most of the anger Drained out of Dean as the information sank in. “And let me guess, most guys who find this out only want a quick threesome then they split.”

“Yah,” Castiel nodded.

“So you thought I wouldn’t be interested if I knew about Michael.”

“Essentially.” Castiel scrubbed a hand over his face. “Though now I see I handled this poorly.”

“We both kinda did...”

They stood in awkward silence for a moment until Dean let out a small sigh. “I would uhh… i’d stick around. You know. For like more than a threesome. I’ve been going nuts because I liked you so damn much but I didn’t want to get mixed up with a coworker. So I’ve been masturbating so fucking much...” Dean’s eyes widened at the realisation of what he just said.

Castiel smirked. “well, I think Michael and I have a solution to your masturbation problem. But first,” Castiel took the broom out of dean’s hands and set it against the wall. “We should finish closing up the store. Then Michael and I would like to take you out for dinner. Well OK I guess midnight Denny’s because I have no idea what else is even open that isn’t a bar or fast food.”

“I happen to really like Denny’s.” Dean grinned.

“Well then, it’s a date.” Castiel grinned back, took Dean by the hand, and led him towards the front of the store.

It was official, Castiel was the best coworker Dean had ever had. And, as he found out later that night, one of the two the best lovers. And, even later on, one of the two best boyfriends Dean could ever hope for.

[thedragonsteaparty]

Looking over my recent posts the other day I realised that, despite being a gaming blog, I haven’t actually talked much about the games I’m currently playing. Unfortunately, being the busy bee that I am at the moment what with leaving my job, sorting out new flat details, making another costume (I’m going to be a unicorn this time, stay tuned for that) and various other things that I have given myself to do despite my lack of time, my gaming life has had to take a back seat. I intend to remedy this as soon as possible but for now the only thing I have time to do is get killed by the Blood Starved Beast (yep, STILL on that dude, it’s getting embarrassing) in Bloodborne over and over in half hour sessions occasionally and play The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass on my way to and from work. I haven’t actually talked about Phantom Hourglass yet and I wasn’t going to, mainly because it’s really old now and therefore not exactly hot off the press “check out this amazing game!” but, maybe because it’s old now, the more I play it the more I realise that Phantom Hourglass is VERY into using all the features available to the Nintendo DS and it’s been a really long time since I have played a DS game that has done that, I know that back in the day when the DS was first a thing we had games that used all these features but now I have my 3DS with various Pokémon, Mario, and some other LoZ games but I rarely use the stylus, microphone or camera and when I do it’s optional (usually). As this keeps tripping me up – I didn’t expect to be doing things like shouting at my 3DS to get a low price on a salvage arm for my ship (among other things) – I thought, why not? Let’s post about it and give it some love! Also, this is a total coincidence and I didn’t realise until I Googled the release date out of curiosity, but it will be 10 years since Phantom Hourglass was released on the 23rd June so this can count as an anniversary tribute post!

I picked up Phantom Hourglass in a second hand shop a while ago and as soon as I started playing I hit a block. I couldn’t get Link to move. None of the buttons worked. As it was second hand my first thought was that the game was broken but then, after an embarrassing few minutes of me just raging at the screen, I had a “could it be..?” moment, dusted off the stylus and tapped an area on the screen which Link then moved to. Yes, it was super dumb of me, I groaned and face palmed too. It wasn’t long until I realised that EVERYTHING in this game relies on the stylus. With most of my aforementioned games I must admit that on the rare occasion I need to use the stylus for a quick tap on something (e.g. choosing a Pokémon move) then I will just tap it with my finger. This is obviously not the best way to keep my Nintendo in pristine condition but it doesn’t really do it any harm either. I feel like styluses seem to have been phased out of most Nintendo Games at the moment with it being more of an optional feature than a game dependant one. As a result I am really unused to using it constantly like I need to in Phantom Hourglass, and when I actually have to attack something poor Link ends up swinging his sword around in a battle technique I like to call the ‘Panic and Swoosh’, it’s usually accompanied by equally panicked, incessant yells of “HYAAA KYAA HYEEEEEH AAAAH!!!!”, pretty sure this translates to “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, CRAZY BITCH?!” I think I’m pretty far into the story though now though so I must be doing something right.

Still want a game where we can play as Tetra, but I think that ship might have sailed (pun unashamedly intended)

Another feature this game makes use of, which I don’t think I have ever used on my Nintendo 3DS, is the microphone. This was an embarrassing moment. I was on the train sat in one of the areas with the table and there was another three people I didn’t know sat around it with me. Everything was very quiet. I was happily plugged into my 3DS and Link was running around outside the Temple of Wind. I realised that to get the temple door open I had to get some windmills spinning. Guess what you have to do to get them spinning? You have to blow on the mic. After realising this I had a sneaky look round and tried to blow, very discreetly on the mic. It didn’t work. That’s when I had another, worse, realisation: you have to make a blowing sound because it’s a mic, it can’t feel you actually breathing on it. I sat there for about 10 minutes trying to get those damn windmills turning by fake coughing, sighing very loudly, and even fake sneezing on the mic to no avail, after the fake sneezing I started to get some odd looks so I stopped and spent the rest of the journey sulking that the world was not yet ready to just accept a woman blowing loudly on a Nintendo 3DS in public (that line will come back to haunt me completely out of context at some point in the future, I’m sure).

Despite my reserves about playing it in public – it’s rare enough to see anyone playing 3DS in public, let alone shouting into the mic and blowing on it – I am enjoying this game. Like its predecessor, Wind Waker, it’s a lovely, colourful world and it has some really good characters in it too. Linebeck, your travelling companion is great, even though at first I was put off by the fact that he’s meant to be the comic relief with very aimed-at-children humour (which is ridiculous, who would think to aim this game at children?!) but he’s grown on me. Plus he has a sweet-ass coat.

Look at his little booties! They almost look like hooves

While we’re on the topic of characters, I just want to bring up this weird but AWESOME side quest. I met an old dude who lives alone on an island (who, by the way, has a wife and son on a different island, but that’s none of my business…) and he tells you how he would love to meet a mermaid. When you leave his house lo and behold a mermaid appears. She kept diving away from me and out of frustration I chucked my boomerang at her, not expecting it to do anything, but it did! So I hit her round the head but she seemed to get over that pretty quickly. She then reveals to you that she is not a mermaid she just likes dressing up as one and she is using a swim tube to float. That made me love her so much. She’s living the life, who wouldn’t want to do that if they could? THEN I went back to the hut and set her up with this gross, wife cheating old man who thinks she’s a real mermaid and now she lives in a paddling pool in his house!!! That is hands down the best side quest I have ever done. Except maybe the one where you get drunk in Skyrim and marry a hag, which was also very fun. It was super easy and quick to do, not to mention I was hooked on all the drama, but I think I’ll have to keep coming back to it in the future as the game goes on, kind of want to know what happens next, does his wife find out? Does mermaid lady get bored, meet a merman and leave? Do they get married? Scandal…

Another little thing I’m enjoying about this game; like in Wind Waker, Link has some incredible facial expressions. In Wind Waker he had quite a sassy look which I always thought was funny, but in Phantom Hourglass he is a bit goofier, maybe because his head looks like it’s been squashed Hey, Arnold style from some angles.

So in conclusion, if you fancy an old (feels weird calling it old, still feels like the DS only came out a couple of years ago) game that is a bit of fun and goofy but also sometimes quite frustrating give Phantom Hourglass a whirl.

Are there any old games that you’ve been pleasantly surprised by? What are your favourite 3DS/DS games?

Panic and Swoosh – An Accidental 10 Year Anniversary Post for Phantom Hourglass Looking over my recent posts the other day I realised that, despite being a gaming blog, I haven’t actually talked much about the games I’m currently playing.

[writinghannahrae]

Between The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea | Book Review

Between The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea

by April Genevieve Tucholke

Age Group: Young Adult Genre: Supernatural Romance, Paranormal Romance Publication Date: 2013 Publisher: Dial Format: Hardcover Pages: 360

Synopsis You stop fearing the devil when you’re holding his hand… Nothing much exciting rolls through Violet White’s sleepy, seaside town… until River West comes along. River rents the guest house behind Violet’s crumbling estate, and as eerie, grim things start to happen, Violet begins to wonder about the boy living in her backyard. Is River just a crooked-smiling liar with pretty eyes and a mysterious past? Or could he be something more? Violet’s grandmother always warned her about the Devil, but she never said he could be a dark-haired boy who takes naps in the sun, who likes coffee, who kisses you in a cemetery... who makes you want to kiss back. Violet’s already so knee-deep in love, she can’t see straight. And that’s just how River likes it.

Thoughts I absolutely adored this book! I became engrossed in the story, and Tucholke did a great job in keeping me on my toes throughout the book. She always kept me wanting to turn one more page. The chapters flew by as the story progressed and I became so emotionally involved with the characters.

First, let me talk about River West. Yes, you got it. RIVER WEST.

Now Mr West isn’t your ordinary guy! He is dark, not-so-tall and extremely handsome, but he has a dark secret. A secret that did leave me wanting more. And unashamedly more of him. I think I have developed an obsession with this guy, which I am proud to admit thank you very much! And don’t even get me started on his brother! 

Let’s talk about Violet White. She is such a unique character and I couldn’t help but to be drawn to her from the very first page. I loved her curiosity and her realism. Yes, there are kids out there who like painting and living in old houses. I loved the fact that she was a total opposite to her brother, who we partake in some immense character development in the story! Kudos to Tucholke for creating a character who I can easily identify with. But it also helped that I wanted to have River West.

Now onto Tucholke’s writing. Holy cow man. Her writing is extremely powerful and unique in a way where she lists and lets her ‘ands’ roll on top of each other. It’s effective and not at all jarring to the reader like it would be if another author attempted this style of writing. Tucholke really grounds the gothic atmosphere and genre and keeps it going throughout the book, so you never lose the cold, shivering feeling that somebody is standing behind you. WELL DONE.

I didn’t scour the reviews on Goodreads until after I read this book, and too be honest I’m glad I didn’t. The reviews would have stopped me buying this book. A few reviews loved it, and a few reviews hated it, they found flaws with the plot arguing that there wasn’t one, and they felt that the characters were bland. I couldn’t disagree more! I found the plot to be incredibly engaging, and there was one, several plots in fact within this story. For example; you have River West’s secret, you have Violet and her brother’s absent artist parents, you have the rumours in the small town. And these all build and add to the story.

Of course, that does mean that you should still want to listen and read these other reviews of this book. Only you can make the judgement whether you would like this book or not. 

It’s not surprising then that I rated this book a whopping...

★★★★★

FIVE STARS!

My favourite quotes

“Like an ageing ballerina who looked young and supple from far away, but up close had gray at her temples and lines by her eyes and a scar on one cheek.”

“I had a fantasy when i was younger that one of the Glenships would come back and fix the place up. He would be young and beautiful, and not at all insane like his throat-slitting ancestor. He would have slicked-backed hair, an expensive education, and a sharp tongue. The two of us would meet and fight and fall in love and live and have children and grow old in Echo’s second mansion by the sea. I was pretty stupid, when I was younger.” 

[fuckyeahwintershock]

Author Spotlight: AmidTheFlowers

This week’s spotlight is turned on @amidtheflowers​ (AO3)​. She’s a relative newbie to Wintershock (though not to Darcyland) but she’s made a big impact since she jumped on board! She was nominated by @leftylain.

Here’s what she had to say:

01. What about Wintershock as a pairing appeals to you?  

I think what really appealed to me was how natural the pairing felt. Bucky and Darcy’s characters are very complementary to each other, balance each other out. I also really love how at the crux of it, wintershock is a gentle ship. There’s a sense of loveliness to it that I never quite felt in any other darcyland pairing.

02. How did you first encounter the pairing?

Honestly I can’t remember just how I came across it…I remember sometime in early June 2016 I started wanting to read Darcy fics again (I’d left darcyland for 3 years), but didn’t want to ship her with my previous Darcy ship. I think it was random chance on Ao3 honestly! And the first fic I read left a positive impression, and latessitrice was totally enabling me so I asked her if she had any fic recommendations. The rest is history. (Mod note: I REGRET NOTHING)

03. Do you have any specific Wintershock headcanons?

I definitely headcanon that Bucky is touch-starved, and when he starts this thing with Darcy—be it a friendship, a relationship—he doesn’t realize just how starved for affection and touch he has been, just how isolated he’s felt in Hydra, until he allows himself to relax around Darcy, have the emotional intimacy with her. I also firmly believe Darcy is president of the Bucky Barnes Defense Squad.

04. Do you associate any particular songs with Wintershock? If so, which one? 

Oh ho ho yes I do and it is I Can’t Help Myself by the Four Tops because it is adorable and I can genuinely see Bucky humming this around Darcy like the absolute dork he is.

05. What Wintershock fic by someone else would you recommend to others to read? What about this fic appeals to you?

My default answer will always be the Roadtrip series by Leftennant. It was one of the first I read and it’s just one of those fics that make you feel good and feel happy. I unashamedly admit to using it as therapeutic reading when I’m feeling really low. I also highly recommend The Commando That Time Forgot by CrowningGlory. I am such a sucker for time travel and this one has to be my absolute favorite—the setting is so believable, the characters are fleshed out and so well done, and it’s incredibly sweet.

06. What kind of Wintershock story would you love to read that hasn’t been written yet by you or others?  

I would love to read a medieval AU of wintershock! Extra kudos if you add a magic aspect to it. *sighs*

07. Out of the Wintershock stories you’ve written, which is your favourite, and why?  

I do honestly love my current wip, A Mask of My Disguise. It’s the first thing I started writing when I decided yes, this is a ship I am now fully immersed in. It felt magical when I was writing it, and have put a lot of my heart into this fic, as well as hours and hours of work.

08. Quote a favourite extract from one of your stories. What is it that you like about it?

This one, from chapter 7 of A Mask of My Disguise. It’s a really meaningful, personal moment that I’m quite proud of:

Darcy rises on her knees, shifting closer, and wraps her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. Bucky feels something release inside him and he sags, wrapping his arms tightly around her and holding her tight against him. God, when was the last time anybody held him like this? Without threat of pain, without anything but warmth and kindness? Bucky latches onto this, onto the overwhelming feeling that stirs in him as Darcy leans even closer and tightens her hold in him, humming a little when Bucky buries his face in her hair and breathes in slowly, the scent of soap and honey washing over him. It dizzies him, throws him off-balance and for the first time he doesn’t care; she’s holding him and running her fingers down his back and he never wants to let this go.

Darcy starts to pull away but Bucky’s not ready for that, and he burrows his face deeper against her shoulder. She stops and her hand runs down her back again, trailing up to run through his hair. “It’s okay,” Darcy says softly. “You’re okay. We’re okay.” She shifts again but this time she draws closer, settling in his lap as he leans against the headboard. He feels her press a soft kiss on his neck and a ragged sigh escapes him, his body shuddering. Her fingers never leave his hair. His arms never leave her waist.

Thanks @amidtheflowers!

Mod note: This is the last nomination I’ve received so if I don’t get any this week this feature will grind to a halt, which is a shame when there are so many deserving authors out there who could be featured. I don’t believe selecting them myself is the right approach as I will gravitate towards the authors I know, which limits the kind of people who will be covered. 

Please submit your names either to the blog or myself. Your nomination doesn’t haven’t to be long!

[rz-jocelyn]

Tagged by @missragdoll ♥

Rules: Copy this into a new text post, replace my answers with yours, and tag 10 people.

A - age: 20ish (I've reached an age where I can keep it a secret and make myself look more mysterious than I really am. LOL!)

B - biggest fear: Being the last one left alive of my friends and family

C - current time: 8.50pm

D - drink you last had: COFFEEEEEE!!!!! WHEEEEEE!!!!

E - every day starts with: Why am I up when even the sun isn't awake yet?

F - favourite song: Way too many to choose from, but the song that I currently have on loop is "Show Me The World” from the “Musical Touken Ranbu ~Shinken Ranbu Sai 2016~″

G - ghosts, are they real?: I believe that they are? xD And as long as we don't disturb them, they won't disturb us, so I'm leaving them alone. Well... Aside from the occasional ghost story telling session :P

H - hometown: Still living there xD

I - in love with: Going to be predictable and name people just because I can. Sato Ryuji. Matsuda Ryo. Kimura Takuya.  

J - jealous of: People who can draw! I mean, have you seen some of the fan art doodles? My version of doodles are unidentifiable squiggles and stick men. LOL!

K - killed someone: Do game characters count? Because I accidentally killed Midare Toushirou in the Touken Ranbu game, and I'm still traumatized.

L - last time you cried: Firstly, I'm going to unashamedly admit that whilst I don't cry easily in real life, I bawl like a baby when a good production or piece of fan work punches me in the heart with feels. Secondly, I'm also going to unashamedly rec the last two fan works that made me bawl my eyes out: THIS (Touken Ranbu; Okitagumi) and THIS (One Piece; ZoSan)

M - middle name: I don't have one :D

N - number of siblings: Also none xD

O - one wish: On a serious note, I'm actually working on a lifelong dream of mine right now and would very much like to accomplish it.

P - person you last texted: @susulinglong

Q - questions you’re always asked: "Are you Japanese?" It's not that I speak Japanese fluently or even look Japanese, but apparently I've unconsciously adopted a lot of Japanese-esque gestures? LOL! The most frequent example (and the one that prompts this question the most) is my habit of greeting people or answering greetings with a nod of the head that’s closer to a shallow bow.

R - reasons to smile: Smiling makes me more positive about life and makes the people around me happy by infection, so if I can give as much love and contentment as I receive from my loved ones by smiling, I certainly will not hesitate to do so :D

S - song last sang: "Umarekawaru toki made waratte iraru yo ni FOREVER~” (“Dear You” from the “Musical Touken Ranbu in Itsukushima Shrine”)

T - time you woke up: 5.00am

U - underwear color: Hi~mi~tsu! *winks* xD

V - vacation destination: Japan and England

W - worst habit: Coincidentally, I share the same worst habit with @missragdoll (which I didn't know until this ask meme, so high fives? ^^" LOL!); I've been told time and time again to STOP BITING MY NAILS. Especially when I'm stressed (you can literally tell how high my stress levels are from how short my nails are).

X - x-rays you’ve ever had: Was accidentally pushed off the bed once as a kid and hit the ground headfirst. The tile cracked, but the X-ray revealed that my skull didn't even so much have a dent :P

Z - zodiac sign: Taurus (and I live up to it xD)

Tagging @susulinglong, @snargle21, @thooluu, @pandanyan, @wanokulove, @masayume85, @princessarilynn and @karrent  ♥

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Princess Emma Reviews: Show Me Something by Aubrey Bondurant

5 Crowns

Book 5 in the Something series. This book can absolutely be read as a standalone, but take my advice and read them all. This series has received 5 Crowns from me for each release, yes I have loved it that much. Show Me Something is no different.

Juliette Walker and her son Tristan have moved from Charlotte to Connecticut. Away from her family, her best friends, the job she loves but most importantly away from the fallout over her husbands’ arrest. Childhood sweethearts, their marriage had been over for longer than she cares to admit, but following his arrest for corruption in his position as a police officer, Juliette’s priority is the safety of her son. Luckily her best friend Brian has hooked her up with friends and they have taken her under their wings. But it is someone she least expects that helps her move forward, giving her hope for the future. But how do you move forward when the past isn’t resolved?

Mark Hines doesn’t date. Having lost his fiancée many years ago, he has emerged himself in work. His social life revolves around his best friends from college and that is enough for him; until Juliette. She brings out his protective feelings, she also evokes emotions that he has long since buried. He can see a future with her, but with his past so present, will he be able to let it go? Or is he forever destined to live a lonely life.

I seriously LOVE this series. Every single book has hit the mark for me because of the perfect balance of love, humour, sex, friendship, heart-break and angst that the very talented Aubrey Bondurant has brought to each story. Once again she gives us two very loveable, but complicated characters. This isn’t an easy love story. You think it might be and then bam the story changes, throwing your emotions all over the place.

Mark has featured in each book. He has always been somewhat elusive, his character quiet, sensible, yet likeable, and it was always made clear he was dealing with the loss of his fiancée. I have been looking forward to his book for ages as I just wanted to know more about him. Aubrey broke my heart with his story, but that is all I will say. What I will say is the saying about watching out for the quiet ones is true. Never read a book by its cover, Mark is a sexy dork and I loved him. As for Juliette, she is his perfect match. Where Mark is reserved, she has total verbal diarrhoea and it gets her into trouble. She adores her son and is a loyal, fun friend. She has dealt with a lot and her self-esteem is at an all-time low. So with them both weighed down with heavy baggage, will they find happiness together… well you will just have to read it and find out for yourself.

So as I conclude this review, I do so with a heavy heart. This is the final book in a series that I have adored. I took a chance on a new author when I accepted the review request for book 1, and that has turned Aubrey Bondurant into a favourite author of mine who I unashamedly facebook stalk to find out when I will get the next book. So although I am sad, I also look forward to her next chapter. With her talent at creating engaging storylines and loveable characters, it gets me all kinds of excited.

  I really can’t recommend this series and indeed this book enough. Only great reads get 5 Crowns from me, but to give every book in a series 5 Crowns is a rarity. Well done Aubrey, Show Me Something is the big juicy cherry on top of the most fabulous cake.

Princess Emma Reviews: Show Me Something by Aubrey Bondurant was originally published on Perusing Princesses