#unable to do much online or with art

[sphaliro]

One way to avoid AI from stealing your art jobs is to make your art as varied, diverse, expressive as possible. If your art is formulaic & focuses on the same type of subject, AI can break that down to a science & duplicate it. People like SamDoesArts, who is a popular professional artist who draws beautiful girls, or people who only draw yassified, smouldering webtoon-style kpop hotties, have styles that fall heavy victim to AI takeover. That's not an insult, it's a fact.

No matter how good your art is, if all the faces, style, color, composition looks similar; you have an exploitable formula. If you make money on your art, this is a bad thing for you! It's not fair that AI is using your work without permission for no pay. But this is our modern world, & it won't go away.

All we can do is focus on the power of what makes us human. Expressiveness, diversity of subject, ages & race; story & character-driven pieces, always trying something new... So far, AI (aka, the hack-jobs stealing art to put in a formula for free without permission; this is the fault of greedy nerds, not cute robots!!) cannot duplicate things like that so easy. If you're a pro, please consider that.

If you want to protect your work from AI algorithms, there's also the revolutionary (free!) GLAZE tool, which when added to your art, will destroy all data AI-bros try to extrapolate from your work. (More info on GLAZE here!)

If you really care about making art "accessible" to everyone, you must accept that it's only ethical with permission from the creators you want to use.

Artists are not soulless billionaires or Hollywood money-machines who are robbing you of the psuedo-socialist 'right' to have an anime-you profile pic. We are real people, living paycheck to paycheck, disabled, raising families, mentally going through everything you've struggled through, & more. It's not ethical to rob us of our expression & livelihood... AI-bros, if you won't pay us for our labor, you have no right to it. Any side of the political spectrum, capitalist pig to centrist sissy to commie scum, should agree with that.

The philosophy of "it's our right to use it, just get a real job" is the very philosophy that separates you from actual artists.

Technology is a wonderful thing. Start acting worthy of that wonder. Don't be a Skynet pawn. They won't spare you just because you taught them how to generate yassified kpop elf girls.

[abiglizord]

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[helslastangel]

Random Astro Placement Observations

Original individual posts combined into this single post. Based on personal interpretation. If it doesn't apply, LET IT FLY. Enjoy.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Uranus in Aquarius in 1H

-Free-spirited and eccentric with a unique way of thinking and inspiring change

-Does not care to conform to societal norms; wants to carve their own path

-Others associate their unconventional approach with leadership potential

-Highly innovative and good at communicating their ideas to others

-May endure setbacks and unforeseen changes in their life; unpleasant surprises

-Can fall into a rut if their progress is interrupted too drastically and too often

-Can appear to be attention-seeking at times, especially in dress and mannerisms

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Jupiter Sextile Neptune in Synastry

-These two dream together so well that they might as well be lost in Wonderland.

-The Jupiter person hates stagnancy and always wants to be growing, expanding outwards into who-knows-where.

-The Neptune person has a huge imagination and enjoys venturing into the unknown, even if only through the mind.

-When the Jupiter person gets stuck in a rut, unable to think of a path forward, the Neptune person floats in to whisper a little random something in their ear that revives the spark and saves the day.

-The benefits don't only go one way either, when the Neptune person gets lost in all the mist in their head, unable to act on anything, the Jupiter person can gallop in to hoist them up above the fog and carry them forward to a real destination.

-That is, assuming they both don't start having too much fun poking holes in the clouds instead.

-A risk with this aspect is that both people could end up enabling each other's inaction and being too content to build castles in the sky if they're not careful. But if they keep an eye on that, this can be an incredibly creative pair who will never grow bored with each other.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Pluto Trine Ascendant

-Projects a strong outer appearance even when feeling the exact opposite inside

-Charismatic people who others find attractive or at least intriguing

-Can be blunt but are perceived by others as charming and "just being honest"

-Shares what they want to; hides their life from the public eye without trying

-Can leave others feeling left in the dark or excluded from their inner circle.

-May be the subject of many rumors; some true, some false

-Others assume this person is healthier, wealthier, or more popular than they are

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Sextile Mars

-With Sun Sextile Mars in your natal chart, you are brave, full of energy and often look young for your age. Some of you might be into sports or some kind of intense activities (dancing, martial arts, rock climbing, HIIT, etc.).

-If you’re more of a homebody, you could be the type to engage in causes online, standing up for endangered or marginalized beings.

-People might hit on you often or even if not, you might have a little trouble with the people who DO show interest in you mainly being interested in sex. At least, at first. Depending on your personal preferences and other placements, this may or may not be a problem.

- You’re the type of person who can work equally well alone or in a group, though you may prefer solo work if the groups you end up in can’t keep up with your energy.

-You’re usually popular and make friends very easily, though your direct way of speaking can rub some people the wrong way. However, people get used to you and quickly overlook this, as your honest nature and authenticity is very refreshing for most.

-The dynamic between you and your father/father-figure may be unique or just noticeably strong in some way. Others may often describe you as a “chip off the old block,” “Daddy’s girl” or some other phrase that highlights this connection.

-This can also go either way - You may have a positive or negative relationship with the masculine parent, it will just be a strong one regardless.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Neptune Trine Lilith

-Unafraid of things others find controversial, extreme or taboo

-Tend to be open (or at least comfortable) with their sexuality

-Highly expressive and does not bend to societal expectations

-Refuses to be controlled or held back by anyone but themselves

-Surprises others with their unconventional, free-spirited approach to spirituality

-Met with curiosity and acceptance rather than scorn for their views

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mercury in Libra

-You're diplomatic and fair, but also take forever to make up your mind.

-People love you for the way you consider everyone's point of view, but it's okay to have your own opinion and stand on it too.

-Your partners love you because you'll never embarrass them in public.

-You believe in a united front and will stand by those you love in public and correct them in private.

-Somehow you have the best advice. Even if you don't always take it yourself.

-One thing about you, you're gonna make a list of pros and cons.

-Your voice is so smooth and sexy. People fall in love with the way you sound and you don't even know it.

-Your friends call you when they can't sleep, and not in a bad way. You're just so calming to listen to that it takes their stress away.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Trine Moon

-You are popular and generally likable, but may be somewhat private or secretive.

-Others see you as someone who has mastered the balance between showing humility and displaying confidence. This fact alone makes you so much more attractive to others.

-Speaking of attraction, people are often attracted to the sense of security they feel around you. You're generally easygoing, or at least you try to appear that way.

-Harmony is important to you and you'll go lengths to maintain it. It can be difficult for you to understand people who seem to be at war with themselves, because your own ideals and feelings are rarely at odds.

-If there aren't enough challenging aspects in your chart to make you more familiar with inner conflict, you could find yourself becoming avoidant and sweeping things under the rug or delaying tough conversations with others.

-People think you know what you’re talking about, even if you don’t. There’s an aura of “knowing” about you and may often be picked to lead teams or call the shots in some way. This can be either flattering or annoying, depending on whether you enjoy being in charge.

-You’re a friendly person and avoid conflict, but you can certainly defend yourself if necessary and others are sometimes surprised when a more firm side of your personality comes out. Overall though, you're most likely to live and let live whenever possible.

-You can be extremely accepting of others and yourself, but sometimes to a fault. It's a good idea to get in the habit of questioning things or seeking out perspectives on life that are different from your own.

-Family can be your Achille's heel as you’ll put up with things from loved ones that you’d never tolerate from anyone else.

-There are many things you’re good at, but you’re unlikely to brag. Your efforts may go unnoticed for a short time simply because you never bring them up and don’t point out anything you’ve done to anyone.

-You may embody the sentiment of “if it doesn’t affect me, then it doesn’t bother me." Can have an easier time achieving goals since emotions won't get in the way.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Sagittarius Sun in 11H

-Optimistic and freedom-loving; constantly seeking adventure

-May be a strong presence in their social circle, if not the leader

-Values friendship highly and wants to work/live/travel with friends

-Can be idealistic but surrounds themselves with people who think differently and can offer varying perspectives

-Could be involved in social justice matters and be a voice for change

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Sun Sextile Mercury in Synastry

-Conversations between the Sun person and the Mercury person are lively and extremely enjoyable for both of them.

-These are the friends or partners who can easily spend hours on the phone or facetime, talking about anything and everything under the sun from why humans speak so many different languages to what color socks goes with what outfit.

-The Sun person brings new concepts and raw perspectives to the conversation, which the Mercury person is all too happy to process and put into the best combination of words.

-This aspect is especially sweet for pairs who have compatible hobbies or skills/professions, e.g. a singer/musician and a writer/poet, or a web/software developer and a copywriter.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Ascendant Conjunct Uranus

-Original thinkers who can usually back up their ideas with actions

-Like to be around open-minded, progressive types of people

-Love to play the devil's advocate; can rebel or argue for the sake of it

-Others view them confident and creative, yet also eccentric

May sabotage themselves by constantly trying to shock people

-Looks for partners who need freedom and personal space, like them

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Moon Conjunct Neptune

-You are highly imaginative and creative. Possibly a great storyteller who can take the most mundane experience and recast it in an interesting and theatrical light. This can make you popular and very well-liked by others.

-You might make an exceptional actor, whether professionally or in everyday life. Though if overdone, this trait can backfire and lead to you being loved for who you are not.

-This is rarely malicious on others' part: Neptune's misty illusions, combined with the changeable nature of the moon cause you to unintentionally fool others and sometimes yourself.

-Internally, you could be quite sensitive, but whether you wear this on your sleeve or conceal it depends on your moon sign and other aspects. Regardless, you often absorb all the energies in a room and constantly process everything you see and feel.

-Sometimes, it could feel like you have no idea where you end and others begin. Struggling with emotional boundaries can be a negative theme in your life if not balanced out by other aspects.

-People who do not this (or similar) placements can find it difficult to empathize with you and might spread rumors or make your personality a frequent topic of their conversations.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Trine Saturn

-Extremely loyal; can be reserved and controlled in social settings

-Not obviously introverted or extroverted; quiet but not shy

-Usually attracted to older partners or people with mature energy

-Afraid of rejection but will try to hide this from others at all costs

-Highly determined when their mind is set to achieve something

-Can be creative and will usually finish the projects they start

-Blends structures with aesthetics well; may enjoy interior design

-Extremely responsible people who others look up to and rely on

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Juno in Scorpio

-While Venus may show how we fall in love and what traits attract us most, Juno shows what we truly need to feel safe and secure in a marriage or long-term partnership, regardless of what we're attracted to.

-In my case, I have both Venus and Juno in Scorpio, so there isn't much difference between what I need and what I desire in a partner. But some may not be so fortunate and experience a war with themselves.

-Juno in Scorpio natives like an element of mystery around their relationships. The allure of having a whole other side to their lives behind closed doors that the public knows nothing about.

-Traditionally ruled by Mars, Scorpio approaches emotion with a lot of passion and a sense of urgency. When Juno is placed in this sign, the natives can experience intense power dynamics with the object of their affection. A fear of betrayal and obsession with loyalty is also present.

-Scorpio Juno people NEED depth in their relationship, otherwise they will fall out of love. If they cannot connect deeply with their lover for any reason, they will do everything possible to reestablish the bond.

-However, if their partner makes no effort to restore the connection, they can often grow to hate their partner just as deeply as they once loved them. Depending on the rest of their chart, they may either stay in the relationship out of obligation, but entertain secret affairs, or they may sever the relationship entirely and seek another, or become celibate and closed off to relationships entirely.

-Scorpio Juno people will not be happy with anything less than a true soulmate relationship. Despite being slow to open up themselves, they desire partners who are trusting, loyal and unafraid to show vulnerability.

-The ride or die type of relationship is usually the only kind of relationship these natives feel truly satisfied in. They can often find this kind of connection in people with whom they have Juno-Mars, Juno-Venus, Juno-Sun, or Juno-Sun synastry, or people with significant/many planets in Scorpio.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Ascendant Conjunct Mars

-Cares about others but does not over-identify with their emotions.

-Can spend hours trying to figure out why everyone else is so upset.

-Joyful (unless depressed) but also impulsive and easily angered

-Comes on strong, which thrills some and overwhelms others.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Conjunct Jupiter

-You’re a gentle peacemaker. Aggression and conflict grieve your spirit in ways that words can’t express.

-Harsh personalities can drive you to step out of character yourself, so you tend to seek out agreeable people to be friends with. This isn’t difficult as you’re generally popular in your social circles unless other placements in your chart suggest otherwise.

-Anytime there is a dispute, you’re likely to walk away or try to delay getting into the argument.

-You may be physically attractive, but the brightest aspect of your appeal is how affectionate you are to those you care for. Unless depressed or otherwise weighed down by circumstance, your presence is naturally cozy and very soothing to others, even if you don’t quite understand why.

-Others can see and feel the warm aura that surrounds you and makes them feel like anywhere with you is a safe space.

-Another thing you may notice is that people open up to you very easily, telling you all about their dreams, hopes, aspirations and other things that you wouldn’t normally discuss with a stranger.

-You also may be extremely creative, whether in the way that you think and dream, or in the things that you do (music, design, writing, dance, poetry, etc). This is one of the more promising aspects for love and relationships, and these may come relatively easily without too much effort on your part.

-Of course, for every dawn there is dusk: you may be rather lazy, self-indulgent, and greedy, if not careful to keep your desires under control. However, with a bit of self-reflection and determination to improve, you will get along in life just fine.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Moon Trine Venus in Synastry

-If your Moon trines someone's Venus (or the other way around), you could have more compassion for each other than for other people.

-There will be a strong emotional connection between you.

-Others might complain that you let each other get away with everything, lol.

-There's an unspoken "handle with care" vibe between you that's very sweet.

-It can be hard to suppress this vibe if being close with that person is wrong or taboo in some way (e.g. coworkers, boss, etc.).

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mars Opposite Neptune

-May try to present an image that fits the social expectations of their environment instead of their current reality (esp. with 1H Mars).

-Tends to hide internal insecurities with external confidence that may seem unnatural or "fake"

-Depending on where Neptune is placed, certain people or places will appear to be safe, leading the native to reveal themselves more clearly, only to find out it was a trick.

-People who can see past their brave façade will either try to be safe space for then, or will study their insecurities to take advantage of them

-Can be a prime target for energy vampires, narcissists, etc., if unhealthy/unevolved

-They are a frequent topic of discussion in their social groups; can be positive in some cases or if other aspects outweigh this one, but with mars opposing neptune, these natives are usually gossiped about/slandered more than anything else

-Their morals/ethics can appear questionable to others due to Neptune's influence clouding the native's good intentions and honest motivations behind their actions.

-They may notice that people often accuse them of being sneaky or seeming "sus" without being able to give any real reason.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Square Jupiter

-Highly motivated to create things, but often lacks the right skill set to do so

-May try to sooth their frustration by spending large sums to own luxury goods

-Draws others in with their playful, mildly risky sense of humor

-Makes friends easily but can lose them all to long periods without contact, irreconcilable differences in religion or politics, or generally drifting apart

-Charming and fun to be around, but can be extremely selfish in connections

-Often has lonely spells because their loved ones find them too demanding

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Saturn in Pisces

-You may be hard on yourself and not see your talents and abilities for what they truly are. Learning to trust your intuition and nurture self-confidence will help a lot.

-You could tend to hold on to the past and have trouble letting pain go. Often paranoid or defensive as a means of self-protection

-Highly compassionate and may be extremely practical too, Can struggle to draw the line where you end and others begin.

-You are patient and will often forgo your own comfort in the present to help others or to achieve a greater good in the future

-Usually artistic, or highly appreciative of artistic traits and creations from others

-Might turn to religion or some other kind of spirituality for structure and faith in life

-Your feet can give trouble, perhaps pain in the bones or issues with walking/gait

-You're sensitive and feel vulnerable or unprotected in life, even if you don't admit it.

-Victim or martyr complexes are common if not avoided through self-reflection and overcoming negative thoughts and emotions

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Mercury in Leo in 12H

-Can have a dramatic or over-confident way of speaking

-Very charismatic, enthusiastic; impossible for others to ignore

-Wants to be noticed and admired for the things they choose to say- May share their thoughts and opinions often hoping for feedback

-Sometimes aloof, reserved; struggles to express certain emotions

-Might keep part of themselves locked away from others at all times

-Tends to explore their environment more than their inner world

-Could have sporadic issues with short-term memory or comprehension

-Too much overthinking can lead to depression and self-imposed isolation

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Neptune Opposite Ascendant

-You might not have a set persona and will appear one way today and completely different tomorrow.

-It's possible that your appearance, mannerisms, and speech change drastically from one day to the next.

-Others may see you as a shapeshifter or even deceptive in some way. At best, you're generally unpredictable and confusing to those around you.

-Only a few can see clearly through the fog without you having to explain yourself. These people often become your best friends or even romantic partners.

-You give off varying auras at different times to different people so it's not uncommon people with this aspect to have one set of friends who know them to be one way, and others who know them to completely different.

-E.g. seeming reserved or shy in one friend group, naïve and innocent in another, mysterious and dark with a 3rd, outgoing and free-spirited with others, etc.).

-Depending on your personal tolerance for chaos, you may spend an enormous amount of time and energy keeping your friends/friend groups from ever meeting each other.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Conjunction Mercury

-The self is expressed in a natural, flowing way; charismatic and a great talker

-May enjoy intellectual topics but struggle to be objective about them

-Connects well with other as they easily & quickly adjust their tone and delivery

-Talks more than listens, easily distracted unless others are equally engaging

-Great public speakers, writers, etc., but can be unreliable and procrastinating

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Jupiter Opposite Sun in Synastry

-This can signal a difference of opinion between you and your partner on key topics, such as religion, philosophy, politics, etc.

-This does not have to be a bad thing, but it can cause conflict between partners with strong egos who aren't so invested in making things work.

-But if both are committed to going the distance with each other, they should hear each other out and see their differences as opportunities to learn and grow together.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mars Trine Neptune

-Highly creative; can bring fantasies to life in some shape or form

-Usually cultured and can hold their own in a variety of environments

-Action-oriented, yet charming and persuasive; liked by others

-Quick to defend those who cannot defend themselves

-Has knowledge of theoretical things, but struggles in day-to-day life

-Could easily become a starving artist due to their impracticality

-May seek partnerships with people who possess life skills they lack

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Moon Conjunct Uranus

-Requires a lot of personal space and almost total freedom. Highly independent and hates relying on others for anything or being misjudged.

-Has a busy aura or a buzzing kind of underlying energy, even at rest, but is easily drained emotionally. People view them as unpredictable and hard to pin down.

-May be called energizer bunny or simply get lots of comments from people telling them to relax/slow down, even when they're not doing anything.

-Can inspire others easily, from the small things like getting chores/assignments done, to the big things like career changes, moving overseas, starting a business or relationship, etc.

-Lives life completely on their own terms; very unhappy if forced to submit to anyone else's agenda

-Has strong words for those who try to control or "fix" them; will only befriend the most open-minded people.

-May seem open and like the type to wear their heart on their sleeve, but are quite detached and show only what they want others to see

-Prone to conceal their true emotional state and convince themselves and others that they've said how they felt when they have. Hold things in until they inevitably explode.

-Can be stubborn or not like being told what to do, but makes up for it with their conversational charm and quick-thinking/problem-solving abilities

-Wants to be included and important to the family (biological or otherwise) but does not want to held hostage or smothered by others' emotional demands

-Can become very restless if life becomes too dull/stagnant. Needs constant stimulation and may spend a lot of time consuming media on the Internet.

-Might feel differently about things from one moment to the next. Highly impulsive

-Starts new friendships/relationships with a lot of passion and attentiveness; struggles to keep this up long-term; often accused of becoming nonchalant

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mercury Conjunct Pluto

-Seeks challenges; does not like to deal with anything that is too easy

-Persuasive speakers who convince others with flawless arguments

-Can be extremely stubborn and believe that they are alright right

-May study psychology or be more interested in the topic than most

-Highly diplomatic; they would rather sway than slay their opponent

-Quick, but chaotic thinkers. Others find it hard to keep up with them

-Naturally inclined to the sciences; easily notices causes and effects

-Leaves no stone unturned; will not try to escape their problems

-Can be somewhat overzealous in communication and alienate friend

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Chiron in 3H

-Might talk a little too much at all the wrong times. Even if the quieter type, they can end up oversharing without realizing it, which might not be the worst thing in the world if they are generally popular and well-liked, but it can be devastating if people already don't like them before they even open their mouths.

-Regardless of social standing, they can have problems in the workplace if they reveal the wrong things to the wrong people. Either getting into hot water with HR because of the way someone interpreted the things they said, or losing opportunities for promotion because something got back to a manager and ruined their reputation.

-Often, these people had social problems in childhood that never got resolved and continue to follow them into adulthood. A lot of it has to do with not being listened to and feeling ignored or like they had to outdo themselves constantly to be noticed. This often leads to people pleasing or becoming clingy with anyone who shows (or appears to show) genuine interest in them as a person.

-People with this placement can go from being the chatterbox or trauma dumping friend to being THAT person who everyone goes to for advice or even just to listen to because of the interesting stories and thoughts you have to share.

-People with Chiron in the 3rd house can overcome the negative aspects of this placement by becoming more mindful of how quickly one gets comfortable with others. That's not to say you have to be standoffish or aloof, but just consider whether something really needs to be said before saying it. With time and practice, you can become an excellent and highly empathetic communicator who knows what to say and when to say it.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Lilith Sextile Ascendant

- Can physically manifest in the native being extremely tall or short

-Often appears confident no matter how they really feel about themselves

-Usually gains genuine confidence and increased self-esteem with age

-Might enjoy saying or doing things that shock or surprise others

-Attracts sexual attention without intending to, or realizing others feel this way

-Can trigger very strong reactions in other people, especially if female/feminine

-May be shunned by the majority of women, or the topic of their conversations

-Misjudged by people who have no intention of getting to know them or the truth

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

↤ go back to the masterlist

[alexa-nowak]

Fandom culture has changed so much, I honestly just don't get it anymore

It used to be absolutely normal to like morally questionable or straight up irredeemable characters, there was no "if you like a bad guy, you are agreeing with the bad guy" in my 2013

Now nearly in every fandom villain lovers are getting bullied, fandoms are busy protecting pixel's feelings, while severely hurting real people's mental health with this neverending flood of toxicity

And it genuinely upsets me, because villains and the whole concept of liking "against the good guys" characters in media/ literature/ art/ etc was always a safe space for outcasts and people who felt rejected by society, for being queer, for just being different and unable to fit in for any reason

And seeing that even inside online fandom culture villain lovers are getting nothing but this bs is heartbreaking

And all this discussion about "healthy relationship with imaginary bf" is the whole different bucket of crap that I would waffle about at some point

How these people are doing in literature classes, I mean, every other classical book has some kind of toxic love story, do they need a trigger warning for every book or something

[comikbook]

Im unable to go to school for art, bc my parents cant afford it and my family in general wouldnt be too supportive of it (I live with them)

I dont mind that, I still do art as a hobby, but it kind of hurts. I like what I am in college for actually, but I just love art

Is there a way to better my art while not having the tools art students have? I dont care if its harder, I would just like hope :/

hi !! so i can totally relate to this

i did not grow up with a wealthy family, i got into my highschool (which was a specialty art highschool) thru application. After that, i was kind of lost with art education. I had no money to go to a big art school, so i did community college.

here is what my art looked like in highschool

However, that was kind of a waste. It was pretty much a repeat of what i learned in highschool and to be honest the entire time i was in highschool i didnt improve at ALL. not one bit. This continued into college. In fact i didnt improve at all in college either except for the times i took a gap.

as of this point in the timeline my art looked like this

now i havent been in college now for a couple years, and let me tell you my art has gotten the biggest improvement ive ever seen. Hell i didnt even finish school, I owe money and cant return until i pay it. But honestly ? its hard to find the motivation.

What im getting at is all of my improvement has been done thru my own means. School did not help me improve. And everything you learn in art school can easily be found online via videos and tutorials.

So what made me improve so much out of school ? Honestly ? Passion. I hated being told what to do, I always have. I do not like cookie cutter assignments, boring studies, all of the subjects that are rinsed and repeated every semester. I stopped caring, and during the last bit of time i was in school, I went to my professor. I said I didn’t care, I hated the assignments, I had no desire. You know what she told me ? To ignore them then. She pushed me to make what i WANTED to make, she made assignments specifically for me, she gave me full creative freedom. THATS WHEN I IMMEDIATELY IMPROVED. School isnt what helped me, what helped me is being given an environment where i could be passionate and raw and make art i wanted to make. And you dont need thousands of dollars and a studio to make that happen.

You don’t need those tools. And remember, when it comes to art school, its never the students who are naturally talented or only have technical skill that succeed, its the ones that give a shit. the ones who love art, who love to create, and have a story to tell.

one you realize that it gets so much better.

Anyways, as a last update, heres my art now that im out of school and doing my own thing

[feverdreamjohnny]

The Epitaph of Anything Goes

I decided that this morning I would talk about The Museum of Anything Goes and the subject of lost media.

For the uninitiated, The Museum of Anything Goes is an obscure "game" released in 1995 by Wayzata Technologies, a company that is so far under the radar that I was unable to find any useful information about it outside of TMoAG.

All I could uncover is that they published a few multimedia projects (which are essentially lost now) alongside some asset discs (clipart, SFX, etc.). That's it.

The brains behind Wayzata are even more difficult to locate these days: there are only two main names credited inside of TMoAG - Michael Markowski and Maxwell S. Robertson.

The game alleges that Michael and Maxwell are well known in the art world, but any additional information about the duo is scarce beyond the confines of the museum. Attempting to search for either name online turns up plenty of rabbit holes - but none of them have anything to do with the Michael and Maxwell responsible for TMoAG.

This is particularly fascinating because it essentially means that TMoAG is the only accessible record of their lives. Before we dig any deeper into that statement, let me step back and actually address what this game is.

The Museum of Anything Goes is, by definition, a virtual art museum. Functionally it's a prerendered point-and-click adventure game where you can explore a bunch of multimedia exhibits that give the surface-level impression of a children's edutainment game, but once you start exploring further it reveals a side that firmly plants the game's feet into a haze of substance abuse and surreal humor.

Many exhibits are essentially just toying around with the astonishing new powers of CD-ROM. Everything has to make noise. Everything has to spin and flitter around. There's an air of genuine excitement for the medium, and I can't help but find it extremely charming.

The game also functions as a scrapbook, filled to the brim with photos of random trips to the zoo and snow-mobile rides with friends. At one point we even get insight into something as specific as Michael's one-year job as a tutor at a Chicago middle school, where he talks about how it opened his eyes to how poorly funded and mismanaged the school system is.

It's simultaneously quaint and chilling to see so much personal history packed into a world doomed to obscurity. As I explore the deeper parts of the museum, I contemplate if the creators are still alive today. It's a bit morbid, but imagine that - you create a single obscure game with your friend and it's all the world can see. TMoAG is currently the only surviving piece that gives any insight into who these two men were.

While many exhibits are lighthearted or nonsensical, there are occasional moments where the game dips into the eerie.

One exhibit has the player kill a man by dropping him from the sky, and after burying him you open the coffin to a video of a rotting pig carcass being put into an incinerator.

Other exhibits just feature simple 3D renders shifting around a dark screen while haunting groans play in the background.

While I would never refer to the game as "scary," its darker moments combined with the occasional mature subject matter definitely begs the question: Who is this game for?

You have to remember that this game came out long before the concept of "alt-games" had become codified in the digital space. Sure, unconventional digital art had been around before the advent of 256 colors, but TMoAG was being sold on disk as a game! It came out 2 years after DOOM hit shelves!

The trend of using the PC for entertainment was certainly on the upswing around that time, but It's not like TMoAG had a massive audience to find a niche in. With its mature themes it certainly wasn't suited for the kids market either, so who was it for?

At the end of the day, it's a moot question. We already know the target audience for The Museum of Anything Goes: Nobody. It doesn't have an audience because by its nature, TMoAG wasn't being made FOR someone, it was being made BY someone. It's a raw, unfiltered form of personal expression.

I think games like these are pivotal, because they question why people assume a game has to exist for the sake of being a consumable product. TMoAG certainly has the shape of a product: it features an intro cutscene, it has a tutorial, it features intuitive UX, it even has a map! These are all features that are solely integrated to provide comfort to an end-user. But once you actually wander around the museum for a bit, you realize how bizarrely its packaging fits its contents.

I think TMoAG is criminally underrated. It's not because its core content contains some earth-shaking truth, it's because the game defied all odds and cheated death.

How many thousands of other personal projects were deemed a little "too exotic" to be archived? How much history was lost these past 40 years as the digital space evolved and ate its old skin?

God knows how many other TMoAGs we'll never learn about because they weren't lucky enough to be preserved.

The Museum of Anything Goes isn't just some nonsensical art piece, it's a grave marker for so much lost media. Its existence is a reminder that some people's lives were fossilized, then macerated into nothing because a construction company built a skyscraper over them. The only evidence we have of those other games existing is this little fossil that somehow slipped out from under the skyscraper unscathed.

Even though so much has been lost, TMoAG survives as an epitaph.

[miraclemaya]

art exhibit that is a simple wooden chair and a sign that says "if you can stay on the chair for two hours you win a prize". after thirty minutes on the chair someone part of the crowd walks by you and punches you hard in the gut without any warning. if you leave the chair you lose. after forty five minutes, long enough that you've recovered, a group of five people will walk directly to you and surround you. they will then take turns insulting you with incredibly personal knowledge, all the while implying that someone you are close to and trusted told them everything about you. they do this for the rest of the first hour. if at any point you get up, they will let you leave, but if you attempt to retaliate, physically or even verbally, they will savagely beat you for anywhere from 1 min to 20 mins, and rip you off the chair if you haven't already left. the last hour starts with an announcement of what the prize is, personalized to each entrant. it is said over the loud speakers, and for the first time the other museum acknowledge your existence. but they all leer at you. crowds of people, in the dozens no in the hundreds, start to scream at you, altering between begging you and cursing you, people take pictures of you and post them online calling you a monster, doxxing you, getting you fired from your workplace for made up crimes, but eventually, if you don't give up, the crowd will disperse leaving the rest of the museum completely empty. strangely enough, not only empty of guests but of exhibits. they must have taken them away when the crowd blocked out your view. now completely alone, all you have is a single clock for reference as to what the time is. but the clock isn't moving? it probably doesn't matter so you wait and wait and wait and you count the seconds in your head and after thirty minutes, you look around and see if you're done but nothing. finally, in walks someone, dressed up as a mechanic you think. carrying nothing but a bucket and a knife. they look at you coldly and explain that they are a vampire and will fix the clock and tell you the time if you fill the bucket. they are obviously not a vampire, they don't even have sharp teeth. you know they just want you to hurt yourself. if you leave now, you get nothing. if you bleed enough to fill the bucket you will likely die. you take the knife and cut. the blood comes out slowly, taking agonizingly long, draining you of your very life force while this "mechanic" looks on coldly, obvious disgust written on their face. once the bucket is full and you feel like you are about to pass out, the mechanic walks over to the clock, fiddles with it, and suddenly it says that you're done. the full thirty minutes had passed and you won. confetti falls from the ceiling, and a bunch of people cheering you on come in. then comes a person in a business suit carrying a picture of your prize, whatever exactly it is. they walk over to you and give it to you, telling you that you'll get it shipped to your house tomorrow, but first you have to sign for it. you sign, unable to make the effort of reading the document even if you wanted to. you pass out

you wake up at home, and the bell is ringing. you open the front door and see a delivery person. they tell you the item is in your garage, and hand you a bill. confused you ask what it's for, and they tell you that you have to pay the taxes for the item. you stare in disbelief, realizing that you likely don't have a job anymore. the item is pretty cool though, so don't worry to much okay?

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

The US Election and the Future of Queer Media

To start this off, I'd like to say that if this post leaves my side of the Internet, this is primarily a religious blog. You won't see takes like this again from me, but I majored in history and have a passion for the preservation of queer culture, so here I am.

I want to start this out by giving my heartfelt condolences to everyone who will be negatively impacted by this election. I'm lucky enough to live in a part of the country where I will likely not experience the negative side of the new administration for at least a year or two. But I know for many, it will come much faster.

The current Republican party has approached queerness with fearmongering, labeling it as "pornography," and attempting to eradicate public expression of it with book and drag bans. While the past 4 years have seen this slow creep, I believe the next 4 years will be much faster, and wider-reaching. I would not be surprised if the Trump administration attempts to ban queer media and public displays of queerness on a federal level, likely under some sort of "anti-porn" law, where queerness will fall under that umbrella of "porn". And with Project 2025 very much existing, and with so many anti-queer people who have the potential to end up in very important positions, we need to get cracking on preserving the queer literature which we do have.

Now would be a good time to start getting USBs, or organizing Google Drives, and trying to get as much queer media onto them as possible. I'm not going to explicitly say that we should all just start pirating stuff at random. If we can buy books, buy art, legally watch movies, donate to organizations etc., then for the love of all that is good, do that. But with the very real threat of our existence being labeled as obscenity on a federal level, it's better safe than sorry. If a time comes where we're unable to access the resources that we need and the stories that we love on the internet, their survival offline will be crucial.

At the end of the day, we will survive. We have the rights that we do have at this moment because our predecessors fought for them. They lived through worse than this, and while it will likely get bad again, we'll survive just as they did.

Linking to two resources that I think are perfect right now, while nothing is falling apart yet:

The Internet Archive, which is a glorious free library, entirely online, with almost anything you could hope to find

The Queer Liberation Library, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit with a collection dedicated primarily to queer literature

[manicrouge]

John Price and your hobbies

[𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝]: 823

I can imagine that Price is one of those people who just embrace everything that you love- why? Because he loves you of course! He loves to see you happy and he knows well that embracing your interests is the easiest way to your heart; all you have ever wanted is someone who likes what you do and he makes it his mission to fulfil that desire.

You're trying out a new recipe while baking sweets? Best believe he will be there helping you taste test every single flavour you make, and when you ask for his honesty, he will give you it. But he will say so softly, he won't try and ruin what you've made, not at all!

Think that needs a little more sugar, love.

Or, when you take up the hobby of writing, he will sit there in the living room, reading quietly while you're curled next to him with your head resting on his lap with your laptop open on the draft you printed just for him to read. And he will read it; he knows how much work you've been putting into what you're writing and he has a genuine admiration for anything you put your mind to. He thinks you're one of the smartest people he has ever met!

I don't know if it's good enough.

Seems pretty fuckin' good to me, sweetheart. My pretty talented girl, eh?

And when he's out on missions, he keeps drafts of what you've written on him for whenever he gets a moment of rest. Being unable to have contact with you for a while is brutal, though, he knows you're always with him in the words you have poured your heart into. You live through your art and your art lives through the articulation of you.

Not to mention when you decide to open a small business, nothing big, to sell art prints and stickers of your drawings... oh my goodness, this man cannot get enough of your creativity. To see you making art so freely and producing it for him to keep is a blessing. You make a new sticker? He'd buy you out of stock just to see you smile (also for his equipment back at the base... he's comfortable enough to rock your dainty flower stickers on the hilt of his knifes).

The fuck is that, Cap'n?

My girl made it, you want one for your throwin' knife?

And when you take up gaming with some of your friends, he'll sit on the sofa, sometimes having you sitting on his lap as you sit with a headset on your head, looking at the TV. It's some shooting game they persuaded you to try, and he sits with an amused look on his face, watching you kill the enemy, the occasional scoff or squeal of frustration escaping you when you get shot.

And when it comes to gun customisation on the game?

He has got you covered!!

Wouldn't it just be better if you could put a suppressor on a shotgun though... like, imagine how effective that would be.

You're overly passionate about this, love.

Yeah, well, you are underly passionate about this and this is something you do for work.

You will have the best gun in the game, and you'll sit with him even when your friends aren't online, listening to him giving you orders while playing- in true Captain fashion, of course. And, he even goes as far as buying an extra controller so he can play the game with you (also to beat you; the pair of you have a competitive streak and he isn't beyond using his expertise to frustrate you).

His heart especially melts when you seek interest in his hobbies and what he likes to do during his time off work. Even if you're not fond of his music, while he's away, you will walk around the house while cleaning with Led Zeppelin and Slipknot at full blast.

You been listenin' to my playlist while I've been gone?

Might've; I want more recommendations.

His eyes light up whenever he hears you humming a familiar tune whenever you're cooking or writing- doing anything, and he'll take a moment to just stand there and observe you with a smile on his face.

And you also both have an agreement with one another that, when he's away, you can with the TV shows the pair of you started together, although, you never do. If you ever want to, you'd rather watch the last episode the pair of you watch over and over again before ever thinking of committing such a crime.

It's the small things in your relationship, even living in the absence of one another that make everything so special, and the intimacy of something as little as interest is the one thing that has the pair of you falling head over heels for all each other over and over again <3

𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

[abdullahbroshairif]

New England college-aged brothers Daxton and Brandon White were -art tomb a little too much. Their dad always joked, when they misbehaved, “I’m gonna sell you to the Sheik.” And , throughout their lives, the boys always laughed at that. As IF their dad could, or would, sell them off to live with a Middle Eastern royal. Well, Dax and Bran’s first semester grades were pitiful. Seemed like the brothers couldn’t stop partying enough to make their way to class and went to the gym every day instead.

Bill White had done some work overseas, as a military contractor. And Bill was beginning to think his sons needed a lesson of perspective. So Bill, early on, before he was even married, found himself rubbing (hairy) elbows with the Arab elite, back in the Gulf War days. In fact, Bill had spent time with Sheik Qadar. Sheik Qadar had even come into possession of an ancient changing stone.

One day the boys got picked up from the gym by their dad’s companies’ “fixer,” Mr. Nadir. Nadir took the boys to the airport and shipped them off, first to the city Bursa, Turkey, where they lived each day as a new hairy Arab. Then they were taken overseas to the Caribbean to wake up daily as black man who lives their lives as online influencers personal training the wealthy arabic vacationers. Next, the boys were shipped of the UAE where they did the same, learning arabic with their thick Eastern Caribbean accents. Gosh, it was getting difficult for them to remember English after becoming so used to speaking Arabic. Lastly, they were sent to India where Daxton and Brandon completely forgot being white Americans, but were able to remember their lives as Caribbeans and Arabs.

Dakaar and Brishaan now are being picked up by a man they’ve never met, Mr. nadir, to be taken back to America. Oh, so sad how the boys were crying and scared, not wanting to leave their homeland of India. Dakaar soothes his younger brother and tells him, in Hindu “we’ll be okay, brother. We must obey this new life with our new master in America”

The trick is on Bill, who assumed his sons would eventually regain their life as his white American sons… three years later the Indian brothers are just as unable to attend school, since they only English they now know are the names of the machines in the gym and the only counting they can do is May decidable by the numbers on the side of weight plates and dumbbells. Bill is doing his best, though, to teach his boys English. They get tutored by handsome blonde university men every day.

💚💚💚

[daffi-990]

Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday ✍️

Tagged by @missmagooglie

I’ve been tippy tap typing away at various different scenes for Chapter 9 of Rival Firefighters 🚒. A few sentences here, a couple of hundred words there … trying to just go with the flow and let the words happen.

Todays snippet is a direct continuation on from this one. (Also I changed it from two days after the tsunami to one. So not the very next day, but the one after that. So Buck’s only had around 24 hrs to spiral instead of 48 … which is probably a good thing 😅)

Eddie had messaged him yesterday, updating him on Chris’s well-being and the results of his doctor & therapist appointments, and while Buck appreciates that Eddie did that (Buck hadn’t been able to feel a single drop of ease until Eddie’s first message that Chris’s doctor gave him the all clear), he doesn’t understand why.

Why was Eddie keeping him informed about Chris? Shouldn’t he be deleting Buck’s number and telling him that Buck is never to see Chris again? That their friendship is done and the only relationship they’ll have is at work? Until even that falls apart, Buck’s mere presence becoming too much for Eddie - a constant reminder that he almost lost Chris. That Buck put Chris in danger and almost got him killed.

Eddie had tried to call him last night, but Buck had ignored each attempt, unable to bring himself to answer and hear Eddie say everything he’s already said to himself for the past 24 hours. He knows he’s only delaying the inevitable, but he just can’t do it. Answering the phone mean’s saying goodbye and Buck never wants to say goodbye to Eddie. To Chris. They’re his family and he doesn’t want to lose them, even though he knows he already has.

Buck drops his head into his hands, ready to give in to the sea of despair and loss that beckons him to dive into its depth and drown, when there’s a knock at the door. With a weary sigh he gets to his feet, goes to the door and opens it. The sight of Eddie and Christopher standing on the other side is not one he was expecting to see today, or ever again.

Christopher smiles at him as he moves forward, leaning into Buck for a hug. “Hey, Buck.”

It’s a bit awkward, mainly because Buck’s brain is still trying to process the fact that they’re here and so he just kind of stands there, one hand still on the door and the other hanging by his side.

“Good morning, Buck.” Eddie says as he moves past them into the apartment.

Buck’s brain finally comes back online enough for him to wrap his arm around Chris loosely in a small return hug, afraid to hold on too tightly. Chris may not have sustained a lot of injuries in the tsunami, but Buck doesn’t want to accidentally hurt him. He’s done enough damage already.

No pressure tagging: @tizniz @diazsdimples @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @watchyourbuck @athenagranted @wildlife4life @puppyboybuckley @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @fortheloveofbuddie @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @epicbuddieficrecs @evanbegins @rainbow-nerdss @rewritetheending @jesuisici33 @jeeyuns @mellaithwen @monsterrae1 @malewifediaz @thewolvesof1998 @try-set-me-on-fire @shortsighted-owl @theotherbuckley @prettyboybuckley @princessfbi @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @steadfastsaturnsrings @shitouttabuck @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @fiona-fififi @giddyupbuck @hoodie-buck @honestlydarkprincess @homerforsure @loserdiaz @lover-of-mine @spagheddiediaz @ladydorian05 @bekkachaos @nmcggg and anyone else who wants to share something, be it a wip, some art or an edit. Everything and everyone is welcome 💕

[bonegloss]

You're not a failed artist.

After over almost two decades on the internet, entering various art communities and establishing my online presence, I've noticed something.

The persistent idea that you've "failed" as an artist if you get a "real job" will not go away.

This, for the longest time, permeated my electronic meat slab and nestled in deeply MUCH to my detriment . For years I fought with myself over this idea. Self-flagellating and noisy, negative thoughts were almost suffocating because I was unable to Do Art As A Job consistently and efficiently enough to maintain a living off of it. Between navigating life for almost 30 years not knowing I was autistic (and all that entails) and trying to turn something I love into something I could make a living off of, it was a vicious and repetitive cycle of trying something new, getting burned out, entering a depressive state, climbing out of it, rinse and repeat. This is clearly unsustainable, especially now that I am more independent in my adult life; bills aren't going to wait for me to get out of my depressive funks. Even having jobs and still making art on the side today, this idea is still nestled in there, nagging me sometimes.

Would I like to make a living off of my art? Of course! Would it be even better if I was supported from making stuff from my own IP's? You fucking bet. But I know how I operate, I know I can't personally do that (yet? maybe?). Now, I realize not everyone can just go get a job, and I don't want this to come off as a rally cry to Just Go Out and Work (I know many creative people are disabled or have other reasons they cannot work), but I do want to stress that its okay if art needs to remain more of a hobby than a job. It is okay if you cannot sustain yourself solely as a living artist. Over the years, I've burned myself out so god damn hard and have watched others work themselves to (near) death or can barely scrape by because of this incessant feeling that we need to be doing art 100% of the time to have "made it". It is hurting us both physically and emotionally to keep this shit up.

Going forward, we have to do better. There is no shame in having an income that is not dependent on the things you make. I think that it can help alleviate a lot of stress and fatigue that can become associated with creating (and thus, making it hard to do something you love). We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves and unlearn comparing our experiences to what we see from other creative peers on social media. Its hard, finding work sucks ass, and no job will be perfect, but if it can help you survive a little easier and rekindle your relationship for creating the things you love to make, it'll make a world of difference.

You are not a failed artist. You're doing what you can so you can keep doing what you love.

[atopvisenyashill]

seeing how some greens act like rhaenyra being groomed by her uncle, and subsequently being unable to let go of him, is HER personal failure turned me into a rhaenyra extremist when i simply enjoyed her character beforehand.

im really glad you're speaking about it because even though it's fiction, it still perpetuates a very dangerous rhetoric

wait this gives me an excuse to ramble, pls excuse me if i phrase things maybe a little crassly here, it’s a delicate topic i’m speaking indelicately about but also, i think i should be allowed bc [redacted] BUT-

obviously i don’t like, love, some of the changes to the show but i think the first half does a great job of setting it up to where you can see both alicent and rhaenyra are surrounded exclusively by much older men who want to fuck them, and have just no way of knowing who is being genuine with them. because no one is really! so you have episode 4, where alicent is sleeping in a room with pornographic art on the wall and being called to her husband’s bed and she can’t say no, and he’s not going to do anything to make the whole thing even marginally easier for her. and then you have rhaenyra, pulled from her bed by her uncle to a brothel, and she’s completely exposed, and she’s experiencing new things, and he’s purposefully trying to make this feel good but also overwhelming for her, then abandons her drunk & confused & half naked. this is The Same Thing - they’re both being used and manipulated by a much older man, but because that manipulation looks different, they react different. but it’s still manipulation.

yes, the type of abuse is different when it’s like, your ugly ancient grandpa grooming you vs a handsome 30 year old stranger you met online that you tell all your high school friends is your boyfriend, but ultimately, both the grandpa and the 30 year old boyfriend are abusers but more importantly, the granddaughter and the high schooler are both victims!!! i think a lot of people when analyzing this whole thing, will pin daemon as a groomer but then completely forget that this also makes rhaenyra a victim. some people will even hee hee haw haw over it because “oh your feminist icon would rather marry her groomer uncle than her gay cousin in the book” DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF. could it possibly be that rhaenyra prefers daemon to laenor because daemon has manipulated her into thinking she is only free with him? she is only safe with him?? could it possibly be that he has been giving her gifts and taking physical liberties with her for her whole life, and being the Good Cop, Sweet Confidant to her parents Bad Cop her whole life, that she feels taken in by him because he is all she knows???? in the same vein that alicent just swallows all the poison and bullshit from otto because that’s her father, and his protection is all she knows????

honestly part of like ~the discourse~ that’s most frustrating is that most greens just refuse to see rhaenyra’s pov or see that she’s also a grooming victim grasping for power to protect her own children, again just like alicent, but on the flip side, most of the analysis from the blacks side is like “if you think nyra is a victim of grooming you are just as bad as the people calling her a whore for having children out of wedlock” and like, how do you even engage with that. with either of those opinions. you can’t wksjd so if youre, ya know, like a normal fucking person who can see how both girls are being manipulated, but you have like a fondness for nyra specifically, it’s just constant bad takes. there’s nowhere to go to escape the bad takes.

i thought we had already hashed out this idea that being aware or unaware of your victimhood doesn’t suddenly mean you’re not being oppressed during the main show with arya and sansa but no, we’ve actually just taken this exact same annoying fandom discourse about which teenage girl is dealing with being abused in the most acceptable way and made it a thousand times worse.

[hiiragi7]

(Warning for discussion of abuse)

There is a certain ableist and classist feel to the way that a lot of people talk about highschool education and graduation that I've noticed. "I bet they never graduated highschool" is often used as an insult and to imply stupidity, for example. I've noticed this trend for a long time, but struggled to put it into words.

While education is important, I often feel very put down by the amount of emphasis placed on being a highschool graduate (and, on the opposite end, the disdain for non-graduates). I never graduated, due to a variety of factors; I suffered very extreme abuse starting in first grade from the school environment (As a diagnosed autistic kid growing up in SPED in the 2000s, ABA was the standard), I was being abused at home, I moved schools a lot, I struggle with several disabilities which impacted my ability to learn and developmentally I was never really at the same level as my peers besides in English and art, I developed chronic physical issues while I was still in school due to a genetic condition, and finally, I was kicked out of the house when I was 17 by my parents and I just never ended up going back to school (not that I could have graduated anyway due to a variety of issues).

I was never able to learn quite right and that lead to me falling further and further behind. By the time I was in middle school, I was already so far behind my peers that even if my teachers had wanted to help me learn the content, there was so much they would have had to teach me that it would have been impossible for them to fit it into the time I had with them, especially when they had a lot of other students to attend to besides me. On top of that, I had already given up on my own education sometime during elementary school, so any attempts that were made by my teachers were not well-received by me. I had already developed a complex web of trauma responses to anything to do with school by that point.

It seemed that I was caught in an impossible situation where between the trauma I suffered with and my autism, I could not tolerate even being in a classroom setting, much less learn in it, but there were no other options, which lead to chronic activation of trauma responses which overwhelmed both me and my teachers as well as everyone else in my life. There was also no understanding for me in these settings either, and nobody informed enough to realize what was going on with me and why I was constantly either shutting down and unresponsive or having severe panic attacks. Rather, I was called lazy, manipulative, not trying hard enough, making excuses, acting out for attention, and a slew of other insults as well as near-constant punishments which only served to traumatize me further.

To this day, I only have a second grade education in math. I do not know multiplication, division, algebra, physics, chemistry, and a variety of other subjects. Attempting to study school subjects gives me flashbacks no matter which method I use, whether it's online or with another person or on my own. I am gifted in English, but otherwise I do not know many of the things that people are generally taught in school as kids.

When I tell people I never graduated, often the response is "it's okay, you can still get your GED!" as if me not having graduated is a character flaw that I must eventually work to fix. It makes me feel as though my worth and value as a person is tied to whether or not I have at least a highschool education, and that without it I am less worthy of people's time.

Going back to my initial point, if not graduating highschool makes you "stupid", you must also consider who in practice is unable to graduate highschool - I find it is often disabled kids, traumatized kids, and impoverished kids. Not all of them, I'm sure, but definitely a lot of them.

Tying intellect and a person's worth to whether or not they graduated highschool fucks over those who couldn't through no real fault of their own and frames them as lesser for it. How can you say you believe in disability rights when you shit on those who are too disabled to complete school? How can you say you are against classism when you view people who could not graduate due to having to work full-time as lesser than you?

I feel that regardless of how much people insist they are an advocate (or how much they say "No no, when I said people who don't graduate are stupid I didn't mean those people, I only meant what I see as the acceptable group of non-graduates to call stupid"), there are biases at play regarding perceived intellect and formal education. I am viewed as inherently less-than when people learn I did not graduate. My lack of a highschool graduation certificate or "at least" a GED is viewed with pity by just about everyone I talk to.

I don't have a neat way to wrap up this post, but I do think it is important for people to examine their own biases when it comes to discussing formal education, as well as the overlap of non-graduates and marginalized groups, especially as it pertains to disability politics and capitalism.

[winterhawkbigbang]

Winterhawk Big Bang 2024 Rec List

1. Not just a Mask 2. Escaping the Mind of the Winter Soldier (And Setting Yourself Free) 3. Surprise Attraction 4. Spring Dawning 5. love song (for a girl) 6. Soul Mambo Jumbo 7. Every Breath You Take (Scars Edition) Summaries and links to all fanworks below!

1. Not just a Mask by 42donotpanic (Teen And Up Audiences, 28k words)

Summary: When Clint meets yet another person from an online dating site he didn't expect him to change his life as much as Bucky did. Not that he's complaining. The man is just too cute...

* two art pieces by ivvic: [link]

* a lookbook (illustrated guide) with a playlist by daisytarget: [link]

* a podfic by 42donotpanic: [link]

2. Escaping the Mind of the Winter Soldier (And Setting Yourself Free) by Iam_giraffe1123 (Explicit, 28k words)

Summary: When an easy job turns south and Clint is captured and thrown into a cell with a man he didn't think he would ever see. Trying to survive with the conditions they are in. With many years later, another mission turns south and Clint has to guide his way out of his captures clutches and save the one person he always wanted to protect.

* a podfic by 42donotpanic: [link]

* an art piece by kissitbetter: [link]

* an art piece by LaguNerd: [link]

3. Surprise Attraction by ivvic (Mature, 27k words)

Summary: Clint ends up with a baby while working at the circus and is not coping well with single parenthood. Bucky steps in and offers them a place to stay.

* an art piece by c_Art: [link]

* two art pieces by OriginalCeenote: [link #1] [link #2]

* a moodboard by endlesstwanted: [link]

4. Spring Dawning by ArtaxLivs (Explicit, 16k words)

Summary: “Two lovers separated by the light, both an animal and a man in darkness,” Clint easily recited, having heard it hundreds of times over the years, “A woman with no past, running in a life that isn’t her own. A god in exile, unable to trust his own strength. A genius whose mind is lost to a dragon. A leader frozen in time in a lake above the clouds. And the bard with no heart cursed to speak the truth but never know it.” OR - Ladyhawke? I think you meant Winterhawk.

* two art pieces by ivvic: [link]

* an art piece by ruinscollector: [link]

* a lookbook (illustrated guide) by daisytarget: [link]

5. love song (for a girl) by daisytarget (Explicit, 39k words)

Summary: Jamie Barnes is a competent sort of woman. She does her therapy, she cooks her meals, she stabs her own enemies. She doesn't need much in the world, because her independence is her greatest treasure. And then she meets Cat Barton, all sweet smiles and butch build and slow drawl and helpful instincts, and all that kind of goes out the window, because while she doesn't need, she certainly wants. She really wants. Cat Barton has no idea what's coming to her, stuck on the prettiest lady she's ever seen who makes her feel - well, not needed, because she'd surely fuck that up. But wanted. Yeah. It makes her, against her life's advice otherwise, really want Jamie Barnes back.

* two anonymous art pieces: [link]

* an art piece by amoredition: [link]

* an art piece by kissitbetter: [link]

6. Soul Mambo Jumbo by ElloPoppet (Teen And Up Audiences, 16k words)

Summary: “Well, to keep it simple, Clint – you know Clint, Barton? – well, I might have accidentally gotten his soul stuck in an Astral Dimension. I could use some help finding him and, ideally, bringing him back.” If Bucky hadn’t lived the lives he’d lived (so many lives in his hundred-plus years), he might have dropped the box of tea in his hands, or let the vortex of confusionconcernshockfearexhaustion that Bruce’s explanation stirred within him show on his face. But he’d had practice at this, at living through moments like these. He placed the box gently on the counter and inhaled deep enough to hurt. “Okay,” he said on the exhale. “And how do we do that?” - Or, Bucky's soul does find Clint's in the Astral Dimension, but the 'bringing him back' part of the mission takes time.

* an art piece by ivvic: [link]

* an art piece by frenchfriedgiraffe: [link]

7. Every Breath You Take (Scars Edition) by Reremouse (Mature, 18k words)

Summary: Scars tell a story about where we’ve been and what we’ve experienced. Soulmates only meet after that life experience has been lived. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re ready for it. Shortly after the takedown of Project Insight, Steve turns up at the tower with a quieter Bucky looking for a place to recover himself. It’s a solid plan, at least, until Clint walks right into Bucky, triggers their soul bond, and pretty much tosses Steve’s entire Bucky recovery plan out the window. Bucky is probably not ready to further complicate his life with a soulmate, so Clint does the only decent thing and retreats to his apartment in Bed Stuy. Maybe he should have consulted with Bucky first. A story about soulmates, friends in a tower, enemies in tracksuits, Steve looking out for Bucky, Tony looking out for everyone, the Winter Soldier on his own mission, and Clint.

* two art pieces by Rufferto (embedded in the fic)

* an art piece by Wyxan (embedded in the fic)

* an art piece by kissitbetter (embedded in the fic)

[nerdygaymormon]

Happy Pride

I want to wish a happy Pride to:

Vests

The vest is an iconic lesbian wardrobe staple. For a long time, lesbian fashion has incorporated staples of working-class men's clothing because they are practical and unpolished, which is not typical of women's fashions, and therefore it challenges gender norms. Vests can be formal or casual, they are familiar yet subversive when worn by women, thus making them a lesbian standard.

Frog and Toad

These cottagecore gays are good role models of a loving queer relationship. The first Frog and Toad book was published in 1970. In 1974, the author Arnold Lobel came out as gay to his family. Arnold's daughter has said, “I think ‘Frog and Toad’ really was the beginning of him coming out” because they're “of the same sex and they love each other.” So yes, Frog & Toad are a gay couple.

Cake

In the 1990's and early 2000's, a popular dessert was the Better Than Sex Cake, which was a rich chocolate cake. Well, when you're asexual, the name of that cake hits a little different. In 2004, asexuality.org (AVEN) started using cake as a symbol of asexualness since they believe cake IS better than sex. Asexuals may not have much of an appetite for sex, but that does not mean they have no appetites, thus the popular phrase "I'd rather have cake."

Limp Wrists

Why do we associate a limp wrist with male homosexuality? The ancient Romans viewed limp wrists as effeminate, and the association was further strengthened in the 17th & 18th centuries as one hand with a limp wrist and the other hand placed on the hip in an "I'm a Little Teapot" pose was seen as something men in the royal courts would do, and that sort of leisurely life was considered unmanly. In the modern era queer men have been seen as effeminate, so the limp wrist became associated with them. This association was embraced and reclaimed by queer men, and the wider queer community as a whole.

Unicorns

Unicorns have been used in art since the 4th century BCE and it was the Victorians who firmly linked unicorns with rainbows. In 1978, Gilbert Baker created the rainbow flag as a joyous symbol of the queer community. Given that rainbows and unicorns are so intrinsically linked, it’s unsurprising that the mythical creature started to also be used as a symbol for LGBTQ+ people.

Pansies

“Daisy,” “buttercup,” and especially “pansy,” are flowers which have been used to mean a “flamboyant gay man.” Sometimes the word "pansy" has been positive, sometimes definitely not. In the 1920's & 1930's, the underground clubs of the Prohibition era became a hotspot for queer nightlife with drag queens becoming hugely popular entertainment even among the straight clientelle, and this became known as the "Pansy Craze" in reference to the colorful clothing the performers wore. In 2013, because of the association the pansy has to queer people, a group of people in Atlanta used them to block out hatred by putting cardboard pansies on poles tall enough to block the protesters’ signs, and voila, the Pansy Patrol was born.

Queer Sitting

Improperly sitting is one of many seemingly arbitrary traits (like walking fast and being unable to drive) that the online queer community has claimed as part of queer culture, but it's deeper than it seems. Girls are often taught to sit like a lady, such as keeping their knees pressed together, therefore an act of rebellion can be a woman sitting incorrectly. By not sitting properly, it's a rejection of rules about what we can do with our bodies. In movies & television, for decades censorship codes worked to silence queer voices, and creators developed sophisticated ways of coding queerness through body language, such as the way a character sits. Queer sitting resists the process of assimilation and instead says: do what feels right, do with your body what you would like, not what you are told is proper.

RuPaul's Drag Race

Many of us in the queer community take RuPaul's Drag Race for granted with its 15+ seasons, multiple Emmy wins, spin-offs like All Stars & Secret Celebrity, 15 different international versions, a successful Las Vegas show, and the many memes and catchphrases that have come from the show. It’s easy to forget in the 2000's things were very different. There were gay characters on TV and reality shows like Survivor had openly gay contestants, but until RuPaul’s Drag Race premiered in 2009 there wasn’t a truly successful series made by queer creators, starring queer cast members, and made specifically for a queer audience.

RuPaul's Drag Race brought drag performance to a large audience and presents topics traditionally considered taboo on television, such as that it's okay to not conform to societal expectations around gender and sexuality. The show has spread awareness and acceptance as it provides positive representation of queer people and humanizes us as it showcases the struggles of gay, lesbian, gender-nonconforming and transgender people and as the contestants tell stories of coming out, being affected by HIV/AIDS, being rejected by their families and attacked in the streets.

Quiche

in Anglo-American culture, French cuisine is not viewed as "manly" food, which is the first mark against quiche. During the 1970s, quiche was served at brunch spots frequented by gay men which led to it being seen as a quintessentially queer dish, another mark against this food. Quiche became seen as so effeminate that a 1982 best-selling book satirizing masculine stereotypes was titled Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. Instead of the French name "quiche," if it had been called "scrambled egg pie" it likely wouldn't be considered a food for women and the gays, which just goes to show how lame it is to think of food as gendered in some way, but as long as they keep serving it for brunch, we'll keep eating it

Tumblr

Tumblr is known as "queerest place on the internet" and as a platform that "queer[ed] an entire generation." According to Tumblr, the people who use its site are 193% more likely to be LGBTQ compared to those on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Reddit, Twitter, and Pinterest. Tumblr estimates that 1 in 4 of its users identifies as LGBTQ. An important reason for this is that Tumblr does not require identity cues to be featured, such age, gender, location, relationship status or legal name, which allows users control over their self-presentation and makes it far less likely family and friends may discover their Tumblr account. This privacy allows queer people on Tumblr to feel more comfortable exploring and expressing their queerness.

Tumblr has been a place of important contributions to queer culture. One example is the large number of queer Pride flags which were first introduced and adopted on Tumblr:

In 2010 Jasper V. introduced his design for a Pansexual flag on Tumblr.

The Polysexual flag was created in 2012 by a Tumblr user named Tomlin. 

The Genderfluid flag was created by agender Tumblr user JJ Poole in 2014.

The Agender pride flag was designed by Salem X in 2014 on Tumblr.

The Aromantic flag was created and posted by Tumblr user cameronwhimsy in 2014.

The omnisexual flag was designed in 2015 by Tumbler user pastelmemer.

Tumblr user 2Sanon posted a 2 Spirit flag in 2016.

In 2018 a nonbinary lesbian Tumblr blogger named Emily Gwen introduced the Sunset Lesbian flag to be inclusive of butch, trans, and enby lesbians.