#um this is also me currently debating with myself :))
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wherenymphsroam · 2 months ago
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older men that have to sneak off from family events because you sent them dirty pictures and they couldn’t hide the tent in their pants send TWEET !!!!!!
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bylersboy · 7 months ago
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intro post (finally)
ive debated making an intro post because first off ive been on tumblr for two years and I never got around to it and secondly I am really really horrible at talking about myself because what is to much info and what it to little info and the cycle continues but im giving it a shot because I feel like my mutuals have no idea who I am lmao
HAI my name is Charlie im 15 (18+ I dont mind if you follow me but please dont dm me thank you :]) I use jasper as an online name kind of (at this point its just reserved for my best friend ace but I dont mind if other people call me jasper since I still love the name)
my pronouns are he/him but im also perfectly comfortable with common neopronouns (it/its xey/xem) if you wanna get funky with it.
im a self diagnosed autistic and ARFID (if you dont know what that is its an eating disorder where certain factors make you avoidant and restrictive of the food you eat and it has nothing to do with physical appearance. for me its linked to my autistic sensory issues(ALSO OCD NOW?!!? WHAT THE FUCK?!!?)) I have depression and anxiety and the only reason I mention this is because I relate my mental health to my fav characters in tv shows and books and stuff so if you see me posting about them like everything is connected lol
(my a03 is ghostwithfeet if you want to see me be silly and project my weird life onto fictional characters (I am the most inconsistent updater in the world please expect nothing from me if you even ask about a project it will scare me and like I turtle I will crawl into my shell never to see the light of day again))
my interests really vary about current hyperfixations but heres the master list
current hyperfixs
stranger things specifically Byler but mostly mike wheeler (this has turned into a special interest(I DO NOT support Noah schnapp or another of the other cast members who are in support of the inhumane actions the Israel government are doing. I am pro saving innocent civilians. I know that this can be controversial to be such a big fan of this show and honestly I have a lot of complex feelings on the matter but im autistic as previously mentioned and its my special interest and It won't leave my brain even if im not directly interacting with the media so im gonna yap about it on my blog thank you.))
also just Finn wolf hard for some reason (check out his band the Aubreys its awesome. also check out a recent movie he was in called when you finished Saving the world. it means a lot to me)
donna tarts the goldfinch book
old special interests/hyperfixs
the percy Jackson universe specifically nico di Angelo
the IT universe specifically reddie and Beverly marsh but more leaning towards richie tozier (see what I mean with the Finn wolf hard thing)
dead boy detectives !!
doctor who (I haven't even finished David tenants doctor yet so please no spoilers)
Alice oseman content (never read loveless or iwbft but ive read all of her other stuff)
paper girls graphic novel
other interests
the good place tv show
Kathleen Glasgows book girl in pieces
the walking dead comics including the clementine spin off graphic novels
um yeah thats all I can think of for now
my fav musicians/bands
florence and the machine
indigo de Souza
Kevin Atwater
searows
daffo
leith ross
Lowkey ive also been fucking with Sabrina carpenter
the Aubreys
sadurn
the cranberries
soccer mommy
runo plum
nep
lala lala
hospital bracelet
Chappell roan
AURORA
Madilyn Mei!
(my music taste is all over the place and is also very seasonal and I have a bunch of underground artists I dont listen to but I am here to give good recs I promise my playlists are fire)
we've gotten to the part of the intro post where im wondering if this is way to much information so sorry if I overshared idk but hope we can be silly mutuals or friends if you want (never be scared to shoot the friendship shot I would love to yap with y'all)
also since this is taking over my other pinned post I just want to put this as an honorary spot and let everyone know that my old pinned post was a quote from radio silence and that Aled last is me and I am him and the February Friday plot line is actually me and it makes me sick how much I resonate with that book
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enigma-the-mysterious · 1 year ago
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Hi! New here. And I have some stuff to ask from you if that's ok (you seemed the most qualified)
If I'm not wrong, you are a Hindu but a Dalit. What are your thoughts on revision of scriptures? Is it of any help? If not what can be done by us (I'm a Hindu and a Brahmin) to make Hinduism less hostile to Dalits? Cos trust me I have read the scripts and um they are problematic when it comes to this and I find that I can't lie to myself anymore without hindering my journey in faith.
I would love your inputs and am always open to discuss stuff.
All my love 💕
Eh, I wouldn't exactly call myself the "most qualified", I am sure there are other people who have studied these things more extensively and are in a better position to answer these. I am just some gal.
What I can do, is talk about my personal experiences. Like you said, I am a Hindu. I am a Dalit. My relationship with my religion is complex. My faith gave me hope and light when I was at the lowest in my life and it still does. My faith and my beliefs have never really been contingent on any scriptures. Truth be told, I have hardly read any of them. I know they are problematic and the so-called "rules" or "dharma" everyone must abide by are definitely a relic from a bygone era. It doesn't matter to me what the scriptures say, it has never mattered to me. My relationship to my God is highly personal and no text in the world, no so-called "dharma-adhikari" can dictate it.
Does that mean it has always been roses and peaches in my relationship to my religion? Nope. The Uttar Ramayan, for instance, makes me highly uncomfortable as both a woman and a Dalit. I know there are debates about it not being a part of the original Ramayan but well.... It makes me so uncomfortable that, I personally cannot respect Ram as a God anymore. A flawed ruler? Maybe? A God? Nope
So, like I said, I personally don't care much about the scriptures. 'Cause at the end of the day, they are just that- texts on papers.
As to whether I think if revision of texts will help with the currently prevailing discrimination against Dalits, the short answer is no. Long answer? I have spoken about it in more detail (and with a lot more anger and frustration, I guess) here. Advocate for their basic human rights instead. Talk about how practising religious "customs" shouldn't mean that you get to insult someone's basic dignity. Work for changing the present and the future, right now, instead of trying to change the past.
Anyway, I don't think that was very coherent. But I hope I was able to answer some of your questions at least. Thank you for dropping by my askbox <3
EDIT TO ADD: Also, as to make Hinduism less hostile for Dalits, just let them exist in peace? Many Dalits are Hindu, many aren't (you can guess why). When Hindu Dalits want to enter temples and pray to their Gods, just let them? Don't act like a Dalit entering a temple is the end of the world. Don't gatekeep their faith. Just allow them to exist in public places (including temples) in peace
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m1ssunderstanding · 7 months ago
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Thank you for tagging me, @adriennefrombrooklyn!!
Three Ships
This is awkward okay I've literally never shipped anything besides John and Paul. Sorry. I just am still coming out of my extremely repressive conservative upbringing okay I know it's embarrassing sorry I literally debated not doing this for this reason but there you go.
First Ship
Mclennon.
Last Song
I Am The Walrus. One of my toddler's favorite things to do in the evenings is dance (swing him around and toss him and chase him etc to a record.) I have my records low where he can get them and he picks one out and I lift him up so he can press play and we have a little window cover over our record table, it's really cool actually my husband made it, and he lays face down on that and watches the needle go down and then stands up and jumps off and I catch him and off we go. Anyway today was MMT :)
Last TV Show
I genuinely can't remember the last TV show I watched :/ My friend started showing me The Bear a couple weeks ago. I loved the first few episodes. I should watch it.
Currently Watching
Tons of shameless clips on YouTube. I'm obsessed. I want to marry Fiona Gallagher. Please and thank you. I should also watch that although I've heard only the first four seasons are actually good?
Currently Reading
The Cruel Prince. Little sister has been obsessed with it for a good while now and sometimes I try to be a good sibling lol. No it's actually pretty good. The world building and prose are beautiful and real. The hard thing is I don't really like any of the characters and I'm almost done. But the plot is mysterious and twisty, which is always nice!
Currently Eating
Girl Dinner 24/7 because my husband is on a work trip and I literally will just not eat actual food rather than go to the effort of making it and cleaning up after a long day of working and taking care of my little guy by myself. Tonight it was two tomatoes and peach ice cream out of the carton.
Currently Craving
my husband's cooking lol um like a really good blue cheese salad and grilled steak with mushrooms maybe!
Thanks again, friend! This was fun!
@sleeper9 @bewareofdarkness @a-queen-of-the-clouds I'd love to see your answers if you want to share!
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transsexual-mankisser · 2 years ago
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um

in all honesty i don’t know what to do. i’m an ex mormon. a PIMO, technically. i’m a minor and my parents don’t know that i don’t believe because i’m scared that if they know they’ll at best be even more overbearing about the church and forcing me to go to things i don’t want to go to or at worst start restricting my freedom. they might go through my phone, they might take away my phone. they’ve done both for much less already. and as a queer person that will put me in very real danger if they do. so they don’t know. they can’t know until i turn 18 at least, and preferably until i move out.
i got called to be the class president for my young women’s today. i said yes. i’ve heard it’s different in some Mormon families but in mine you don’t say no when the church asks you to do something (real healthy, I know /s). when the bishop asked to set up this meeting i knew this was what this was about. the current president is graduating and there are very few people in our young women’s to choose from. I knew I would have to say yes even if I didn’t want to. During the meeting I even felt that I did personally want to say yes. It was coercive. Obviously it was coercive. As soon as I left I felt sick to my stomach.
I feel like I am actively betraying everything I believe in. I don’t believe in the church and I do not worship the Mormon god and I have publicly spoken out against them in places I felt it was safe to do so. I literally wear mjolnir underneath my shirt all the time to honor thor. I am queer. I’m not even a woman, I’m a bisexual trans man. I’m completely out of the closet at school. I feel like I’m betraying my people, and myself. I also feel guilty for accepting this position in a church i so adamantly do not believe in, until of course I remember that they’re the only reason I felt pressured to say yes in the first place. I feel sick.
The bishop told me he chose me (he said god called me but that’s up for debate) because I can reach people others can’t. I think that’s true. No one else in my young women’s class could reach another trans man, because they don’t believe that he’s a man. But in order to be “doing my duty” as a class president, I would have to also try to convince him that he’s not a man. It feels like I’m being taken advantage of in that way. Like they’re asking me to use a skill I have BECAUSE I am different to convince others NOT to be different while not being too different myself in order to be a good example.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through this next year like this. My life had really been looking up, especially now that I’m out to my friends, and this feels like a targeted attack to try to end that happiness. It’s not going to work. I’m still going to be me and I’m still going to be continuing to get more and more appreciative of life. But I don’t know how this will fit into that, and I’m scared.
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babacontainsmultitudes · 1 year ago
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15 Questions for 15 People
@locke-n-k3y thanks for the tag :] ah hm tbh I feel like my answers for these might be a bit boring but let's see...
1. Are you named after anyone?
Yes! (Referring to my legal name- which I still use), I was named after a character from the soap opera "General Hospital" haha.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Last week lol- which was... The first time in a couple months? It was nice but not enough.
3. Do you have kids?
Absolutely not. Never lol.
4. What sports do you play/have you played?
Never did any sports outside of gym class! Not formally, anyways. I do workout (mostly strength/weight training) fairly regularly... But I don't think that really counts here lol. :0 Been thinking a lot lately about picking up boxing.
5. Do you use sarcasm?
Yup! irl I often go for a sort of deadpan delivery of my sarcasm- what I've learned from other people is that I'm a little too good at that (I sometimes say very ridiculous things very convincingly). I won't usually specify unprompted that I'm being sarcastic, but you're always welcome to ask. Not as sarcastic online in general, however.
6. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Irl? Hmm. Hard to say. Maybe: eyes, voice, posture.
Online? Typing/texting style I suppose!
7. What's you're eye color?
Dark brown 👁
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Not mutually exclusive lol. But, happy endings. I don't "dislike" tragedies but I'm not actively drawn to them either.
9. Any talents?
HM. I mean obviously I have things I'm good at but I'm never quite sure what differentiates a "talent" from a "skill". I suppose a lot of friends have said something to the effect of me being "good at reading minds" haha- also "good at explaining things" which is debatable but sweet lol.
10. Where were you born?
Halifax! Which I feel fine saying cause I haven't lived there for a long time lol. A foggy fishing city that I miss even now.
11. What are your hobbies?
I guess a large chunk of what I do on this blog counts as hobbies? Writing (whether it's fiction or analysis or shitposts), drawing, audio clipping and editing apparently (though much of that I just keep to myself- same for drawing tbh). :] I've also gotten into making iron-on patches. Tabletop and video games for sure but... Neither as much as I'd like these days. I tend to collect a lot of things as well- most notably coins.
12. Do you have any pets?
I've had MANY pets of many different species- but currently just my cat Bok! I do tend to take care of my older sister's bunny a lot too though.
13. How tall are you?
5'4, which all my 6'0 friends love teasing me over 😒. I've been told that I "seem taller from the way [I] carry myself", however. (Despite everything, I'm actually fine with my height!)
14. Favorite subject in school?
When I was completing my bachelor's (in computer science) I was particularly drawn to graphics-related stuff! In highschool my fave was definitely drama haha (gee I miss it tbh).
15. What is your dream job?
I HAVE NO IDEA no idea and that's kind of my issue rn tbh. Plenty of things that seem interesting, but I don't think I'm the kind of person who could have the same job for my whole life, no matter how perfect it is. I'll presumably end up in something programming-related eventually, though it's not what I'm looking for now. OH OKAY ACTUALLY dream job? Probably doing video essays (or possibly let's plays) on Youtube haha.
15 PEOPLE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE TO TAG AND I ALWAYS FEEL SO SHY TAGGING PEOPLE IN GAMES and I have no idea who's been tagged already ahaha UM NO PRESSURE WHATSOEVER!!! @llumimoon @happi-tree @kaseyskat @abeinginsand @nolassolace @goldturnedgray @swiffin @insomaniiiac @meiwks @calamity-unlocked @coolfire333 @supremely-unsupervised @b1gwings @giraffeskull There! 15! Tried to get a few new people in there lol. But fr no stress!
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the-exhausted-xexandaler · 9 months ago
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“So then I found the unicorn but then I touched it and then it turned black and grew another horn like ‘shloom’ right out of his head! It was super cool! And then I brought it back to my papa and he was-“
On and on Becky went, talking up a storm in the desguise we made for her as ‘Dark Magicoria’. A simple name, but not terrible given how little time we had for the plan. Honestly, I Gregorionus, third in line for the throne of the Third Ring of Hell, am currently transmogrified into a serpent resting around her shoulders waiting to see if Perception magics really can outdo the recognition blocking ability of Magicoria or ‘Magical Girls’ as humans nowadays call them.
“Oh! And then there’s that time I caught an absolutely humongous fish! It was like the size of Uncle Gregor huge! Super cool!! And it had horns and really sharp teeth and was super long and wiggly like ‘wowo-wowowo-wowowo-wo’ y’know?”
Becky sadly isn’t the best at being concise, but she has guaranteed me that this girl Georgia or whatever is one of the Magicorians that are currently in the world. Now I have never been a violent demon. Far from it, I am much more the inquisitive type if I do say so myself. And if this girl really is Magical Star or one of her companions (Becky never said which of the girls she was), than I can attempt my perception magic to see i-
“Release that girl rotten scoundrel!” Exclaimed a youthful voice out of sight. I know that voice anywhere after having to study her and her cohorts for the lesson I was giving Becky on Magicoria earlier.
“For those who hide in the shadows, know that the light shines brightest at night! I am
 Magical Star!” Okay, so that knocks one of the five off the list. The leader in pink, Magical Star with her power to deal the finishing blow on any with evil intentions. Let me see

“When the night calls, so to does the beast that hunts the Darkness! Claw Star is on the prowl!” Ah the red one Claw Star. She’s the one who’s the least magical girl of them all, instead being more like a therianthrope. Maybe she has a bit of werewolf in her genetics?
“The roaring waves shall clense the world of your sinful nature. And I Ocean Star shall see that you are washed away!” The blue calm one that looks like what I believe is a ‘priestess’ in the East, Ocean Star. Rumor is that she’s actually from Asia, but of course with recognition inhibitors you can never tell until they turn back. Her specialty is long ranged attacks.
“Silent Star is reporting for duty
 Let’s get this done so I can get to sleep...” The green Silent Star, the one who is probably more relaxed than any of the group. Well
 maybe more lethargic would be a better term. Like with Ocean Star she’s more of a distance fighter, but she seems more like the mages I’m used to what with that crooked looking staff of hers. I hear she also has an alternate form to become a ninja, but that’s up for debate whether that girl and this one are the same.
Let me see, that’s the leader Magical, the hot headed beast Claw, the cool headed Ocean and the sleepy Silent. That’s four, so if there isn’t a fifth that pops up.
“-and then I brought my friend Diana oh you’re going to love her! She’s super like nice and cool but she’s got a deep dark backstory and stuff about being abandoned by the world and wanting to sell her soul but would you believe she sold it to Uncle Gregors fam? Crazy right! Oh right I got off topic. I was about to tell more abiut the two horned unicorn!”
No other interruptions means that this girl Georgie or Greagory or whatever (if Becky is to be believed) is Smash Star, the Yellow grappler and tank of the team who uses her gauntlets to block attacks and smack right back.

 now only if Becky would focus long enough to notice the Magicoria.


“Um
 hello? Are you paying attention” asks Magical Star as Becky continues rambling on about how she inadvertently corrupted a unicorn into a Bicorn and made it one of her familiars along with the sea serpent she mentioned earlier and
 Lord Satan below she has to many ‘friends’ to count.
“And I’m also friends with a monkey and a piggy and a chicken with a snake for a tail and a big frog! Like HUGE! Like belly flop makes tidal wave huge!”
Honestly this is one of her best and worst traits. Once Becky starts rambling, she just can’t stop herself.
Silent Star begins walking up slowly to the table we have Geo
 oh fuck it
 who I can only assume to be Smash Star bound to by a weak dark leash I made to test her purity power. “Hey Georgina
 Are you okay?” she whispers.
“Yes! Just get me outta here Sarah. That girl’s been monologuing for the past half an hour and I really need the bathroom!” Smash Star hisses quietly.
Know what? I’m just gonna cut out the ‘Star’ part. It’s starting to make me sick thinking of the word so much.
“
 Okay
 hold still
” she drulls.
Honestly I was expecting this to happen. We’re not after her or her friends or anything. Just information today.
I slither off Becky’s shoulders as Silent undoes the bindings as the other girls flitter down. “Hey G. You good girl?” Claw says in her usual boisterous voice. I’m not surprised that Becky isn’t paying attention. She’s a one track mind traveling in every direction motion is possible.
“Gerogina, we were super worried about you when you disappeared after Karaoke.” Ocean says with a sigh as she wafts a healing light over Smash. Not that she needed it. Again we haven’t even touched her past bringing her to this undisclosed location.
“Yeah I’m fine, but can we hurry this up? I really gotta take a piss!” Exclaims Smash as the rest of the girls back away. She pulls out one of those compacts that women like to carry with them so they can ‘touch up’ their makeup I think is the phrase? Anyways, a warm yellow light like shining gold bursts forth. Let’s see
 timer is set.
“And did I mention that I also once caught this humongous fish? Like the size of Uncle Gregor it was crazy! But I made them my friend even though they were super wiggly and-“
The transformation ends with a young girl in light armor appears where the girl had been. “When the going gets tough, get outta the way! Smash Star is here to bring you down!” Predominately yellow color
 yup. That’s Smash alright.
Now let’s see.
By my powers of sight, bless me to power to see what cannot be seen
 Perception!
The fuzz over the girls appearances begins to fade, and amazingly enough there she is. The very girl Becky and I kidnapped for this experiment.
Hmm? Why did I slither off Becky’s shoulders? I’m not about to let her get clobbered by the Magicoria. I’ve been drawing up a teleportation circle in the time that everyone’s been distracted with one thing or another. I know I don’t have to use a circle anymore, but I don’t want the Magicoria to know the origins of Becky’s powers.
Before the five girls could begin to whalop my protégé, I give them a bow which honestly seems to surprise them.
“Thank you ladiessssss. Thisss ssstudy wasss very much a with while ssssidessssshow. The ressstroom iss on the left if you ssstill need it.” I decided to add a little je ne sais quoi by soeaking like what humans assume a talking snake would talk like. “I very much apologize for the ssstressssss that we have put you under. We sshall retreat today. Pleassse have a pleasssant resssst of your evening.” I say as I light up the teleport.
Finally Becky seems to notice things happening around us. “Huh? A teleport circle? Why is this here? H-hey wait Uncle Gregor! I haven’t tickled her till she peed her pants yet! I told you that I wanted to try that and Ooo! Candy!” I throw the girl a Soul Bar to placate her endless complaints. She’ll forget about this by the time I get her home.
“Until then Sssuper Ssstarsss, ssstay sssafe.”
And thus we teleport away.
.
..


(POV Magic Star)
And they just
 vanished? They kidnapped Georgina and then
 Poof? No battle? No explosion? No ‘Curse you Super Stars’? Nothing?
Why does this feel so anticlimactic?
“Huh? What’s wrong Luna?” Asks Carey as we wind down from the fight.
“Oh
 I’m just wondering what the point of kidnapping Georgina was even about? Did they actually just want to test us, or was that weird girl being serious about tickling Georgina till she wets herself?”
“Ah who cares! That ramblr ran off with her tail between her legs. I say good riddance! Didn look like she’d be mucha fight anywho.” Carey says with her famous smirk. I’m sure if her fanclub could see it now all those girls would blush hard.
“Well at the very least Georgina is unharmed. I don’t even think there was a need for me to use my magic to heal her to be honest.” Claims Michiko, and she had a point. Georgina didn’t even seem hurt. A little frustrated, but that was likely because she needed to use the restroom. Actually

“Wait a minute
 where is Geor-“ I begin before I hear a flush and sigh of relief.
“Oh man! I was holding that piss in ever since we were at the Karaoke place. Thank fuck I was able to get it out.” Georgina said. It seems no amount of abduction or trial will stop that potty mouth of hers.
“
 Language
 this is a kids show
” and of course our lovely Sarah finally joins in. Looks like she’s about to fall asleep again.
I giggle. “I’m just happy that you’re safe and sound Georgina.”
“You’re telling me. That bitch Dark Magicoria just wouldn’t shut up! It was all ‘two horned unicorn this’ and ‘Uncle Gregor’ that. Do you know how many times she told that stupid giant slithery fish story? 8 times until you girls got here to rescue me
 8!” Georgina rants. I mean I’m sure that the only one of us who wouldn’t be aggravated would be Michiko, and that’s by a small margine.
“Did you say Magicoria? That’s the old name for ‘Magical Girls’. Nobody has called them that in thousands of years.” Calls out our ever fluffy mascot and companion Sugar Star.
Michiko raises an eyebrow. “Do you mean that whoever she was is that much older than she appears? Or are you implying
”
Sugar Star nods. “Yeah. I think she might be getting help from something far more powerful than you girls have ever faced before. Like that red and black snake. I haven’t been in this realm long enough to say for certain, but from what I understand, snakes don’t just talk right?”
We all gulp.
“I’m just worried that we might not be enough this time.”
I shake my head. “No way! We can definitely take them on!” I call out.
“Luna?”
“We are the Super Stars! Together we make the shadows run for the hills!”
The others pause for a moment. But one by one they raise their own voices.
Carla. “Heck ya girl! We’re gonna show that Dark Magiwhatever what it means to bare fangs against us!”
Michiko. “I agree. I’m already in this group, so I might as well see this endeavor through.”
Georgina. “I gotta pay back that bitch for nearly embarrassing me im front of you all! I ain’t going nowhere!”
Sarah. “
 as long as it doesn’t interfere with my sleep, I’m okay with helping a friend in need
”
“That’s it girls! Because together, who are we?!” I shout in a battle cry.
“““““WE’RE THE SUPER STARS!!!”””””
“That’s my squad! Now let’s get ourselves home before your parents get worried sick about you.” Sugar Star says as she ushers us out of the abandoned supermarket wr found ourselves in
 but there’s still a lot of questions unanswered.
Who was that ‘Dark Magicoria’? And where did she come from? Who is this ‘Uncle Gregor’ she was talking about? And that Snake
 what did it mean by ‘test’? Something just doesn’t feel right here
 almost like this is a story of jumbled pieces.
Nah I’m probably overthinking things. I have to get home soon though. It’s spaghetti night and I’m not gonna let my big sister Diana hog all the meatballs this time.
A supervillain known for going on tangents during a monologue has captured the hero. The hero broke free of the restraints a while ago but pretends to remain captured to see how off topic the supervillain will get.
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first-edition · 2 years ago
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Breaking Seasons
New chapter update every Teusday Thursday 
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HELLO and welcome to the book before we begin this is a Spencer reid x y/n reader book. She/her pronouns however you can change thing to your liking.This book is based in the land of criminal minds so if you've watched it some things hit hard just be aware. Chapters containing graphic info such as smut or active severe violence will be labeled as such.If you want short blurbs or story's please feel free to follow my tumblr page where more content for you to read will be. You can also view this story on my Wattpad for more dexterity.
https://www.wattpad.com/user/JelsaSnowflakes1
Thank you and i hope you enjoy!
Cw- violence, mature language and speak, gore, eventual smut, fluff, angst, abuse, childhood trauma, sexual themes, vewier discretion is advised. 
Summary- When y/n takes her sick friends criminology class to take notes in the winter, she meets the guest speaker, BAU-FBI agent Spencer reid. After getting to know more about each other due to a college school related case, that ends up involving y/n herself, they naught just have each to keep warm.
Story begins under cut. Chapter 1
                                      ───  ïœĄïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆. ───
 Icy and winter day last nights snow fall taking a toll on the campus. Cars covered in blankets of white powder, other students and member slipping and spilling their morning Starbucks, and student being late to class as the outside campus dorms were snowed in. But in your case attending a class for your sick friend. You enter the room sitting where she would normally sit. 
"Please please please take my criminology classes for the week there's a guest speaker from the fbi and I need the notes" she begs you coughing up a storm after making you go soft and say yes. 
Waiting for the class to start your phone buzzes. A text bubble from your friend that reads,
'Thank you so much! I owe you one' 
Causes you to roll your eyes. 
The door of the room open and the so called "guest" walks in along with two other agents and what you assume to be the usual professor. All the girls gasp a fawn of the African American man who's beefier than the long term gym teacher and what seems to be the entire team.
"Hello everyone my name is SSA Derek Morgan, and this is SSA Jennifer Jareau, And that there is Dr. Spencer Reid. We're ver pleased to be here to talk to you about the BAU and what we do as profiler accept reid here will do all the talking."
Derek steps back as him and Jennifer wave and leave along with the professor leaving some girls sighing in disappointment.
"hi I'm Spencer readier you can call me doctor, or dr Reid, or Dr Spencer, or um...anyway I'll be teaching your class for the next week. I started the Bau when I was 21 although I wasn't aloud in the field until 22, I'm currently 25 and I live by myself in Quantico Virginia, I have an eidetic memory and can read 20 thousand words per-minute so if you could go around and tell me your names, age and major that would be great." He smiles putting his hands together.
A guy named Matt goes first and the train begins for a god 5-10 minutes leading up to you. You debate on telling them your real name or using your friends name but it doesn't take long before all eyes are in you and your snapped out of your thoughts by the person next to you nudging your leg.
"And you are?" Spencer asks looking up moving his hair behind his ear.
"I'm y/n l/n I'm 23 and my major is astrobiology." You answer 
Spencer frowns. Confused as everyone else before you had said criminology or something to do in the subject of Fbi workings.
"Astrobiology? The study of stars and outer earth?" He asks baffled somehow.
"Yes. Oh I'm not actually I'm this class I'm just attending for my friend, Mave Donovan she's majoring in biochem and forensics she's sick so I'm here taking notes until..she um recovers." you suddenly set conscious as everyone stares at you.
"It's nice to meet you" he says you nod the next person goes releasing some stress.
The entire class you took notes barley looking up and just listening when it came time for classes end you collected your belongings and got up following the others out unknowingly leaving your book behind. Most days you watch tv or play games in your phone or iPad but you picked up a book at the library one days and now you can't put it down. 
Half way across the campus to your car you feel a tad bit empty. Looking around yourself and in your bag, 
"Shit." The word leave your mouth ushering you to leave with urgency back to the room. Rushing back  to the door it opens abruptly. You step back quickly slipping on stray ice only to be grabbed back up into the Dr Spencer reid. 
"I'm sorry!" You both say
"Sorry I didn't realize anyone was out here." 
"Yeah no...I left my book I just came back to get it."
"You alright?" He asks 
"Slippery." You reply and pull back from him.
"By any chance is this it?" He asks holding up the copy of Romeo and Juliet. 
"Yeah, yes thank you." You say taking it and placing it in your bag. 
"Romeo an juliet Hm?" He says 
"Yeah I'm not actually one for reading but I saw it in the library and couldn't resist." 
"It was among Shakespeare's most popular plays during his lifetime and, along with Hamlet" he says 
You smile awkwardly and nod.
"Good to know" you reply.
There's a small shared silence between you two before you speak up at the buzz of your phone. 
"Sorry I'm gonna get going I'm parked at the quarter lot it's a bit of a walk." You say 
"M-mind if I walk with you I've parked there as well." He replies. You shake your head No and begin your walk with him to the lot once again. 
"So what exactly does the bau do?" You ask 
"BAU stands for behavioral analysis unit we used to be the BSU behavioral science unit but not anymore, its part of the ncbac the National center for analysis of violent crime which is also part of the cirg, critical incident response group, and um..im r-rambling I'm sorry."He apologizes and rubs his nape. 
"No, it's alright, it was interesting." You reply which makes him smile.
"U-um im a profiler. I profile people based on what murder they commit. I can see things others can't or would like to see. I study their patterns, behavior." 
"You can tell everything about someone by looking at them then" you say
"N-no well hmm?" He thinks you giggle 
"Do me." You say and stop. He turns to you. 
"Well then doctor...profile me." You reply holding your bag strap. 
"Mm well i'm not as good as Arron hotcher, my boss, but um...i can tell you have a cat by the fur on your scarf." He says 
"It's too easy to guess something else." 
"Okay by the way you wanted to get back to your car so quickly before I can tell you don't live on campus or in a dorm and you probably own a car that is on the more expensive side." He says. You nod and smile.
"And yet I can tell that you have no pets although you wish you wanted one but you can't because of how often you travel." You say 
"Well done." He smiles "you could be a profiler."
You shake your head no and look back up at him once again looking down again. 
"Again but try harder." You say he nods and observes you as your foot moves around in the snow below you. 
"Alright...you live alone, and you have for 4 years, your drawing in the snow with you foots which means you have siblings and played with them every winter, your not fond of eye contact because you keep looking down, it's due to a previous relationship between a parent who abused that privilege to look you in the eyes. By the way your phone is buzzing and you keep ignoring it. I assume it's a significant other...or ex that you don't want to see or talk to." He says waiting for your response. 
You chuckle. Beginning to walk again. 
"So...that's what you do." You reply 
He frowns. 
"You talk a lot," you smile at him. 
He chuckles and you continue your walk to the lot. After reaching it you find that you're conveniently parked next to each other. His a Prius yours, a GTR. 
"You were right Dr Reid about the cat, the car, the parents, the ex." You say. 
"What about siblings?" He asks you to press your car key to start it up to make sure it's warm. 
"My sister...passed away when we were 14." You reply. 
"Sorry." He says you shake your head. "It's alright," you say, putting your bag in your car. 
"Will I see you monday?" He asks 
"I have to take notes." You say and get in, putting on your seat belt and driving off.
View chapter 2 here
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safertokiss · 4 years ago
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Through a Different Lens
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A/N: Well, well, well. Lookie what we have here. New content wowza. I’d say I’m surprised it’s been a while, but I simply am not. Luckily another fic swap has arrived to get my creative juices flowing once again. The gods have gifted me with another perfect opportunity to write sub spence because I was given @writing-in-april as my person yet again. Hooray! Anyways I hope you enjoy and thanks all you cool cats and kittens for the support (we almost to 1000 yeet skrrt). Also, it just happens to be my birthday today so as a gift to myself I thought about subby Spencer for a while.
Pairing: SPENCER x READER
Category: SMUT and can’t forget that fluff
Word Count: 3.2k
ENJOY:)
~~~
It all started completely by accident.
There was no possible way that she would’ve been able to predict just how much they would affect the poor kid. 
She could remember, clear as day, the first time she was forced to wear her glasses to the bureau due to her ongoing frustrations with the torture devices that were also referred to as contacts. There were only so many headaches and eye-waterings that she could take before the insecurity of wearing her frames to work shriveled below the point of caring anymore. 
But none of those previous insecurities held a flame to the amount of confusion she felt when she entered the bullpen and waltzed over to Spencer’s desk to say good morning with a shy smile adorning her face. Y/n hadn’t even been able to get a complete sentence out before the young doctor had turned to her and froze, his mouth hanging open like a fish, his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates, the harsh red blush she had seen before, just maybe not to this extent, engulfing his boyish features. 
Before she could even attempt to ask him what she had done to warrant such a response, he was spouting out a meager, “H-hey Y/n” whilst simultaneously scurrying off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.
Completely and utterly perplexed over what had happened, she had shrugged it off and made her way back to her desk, silently mulling over the interaction periodically throughout the rest of the day. 
It was a couple of the same type of interactions later that Y/n began to take notice of what was actually happening with the boy genius. The stiff and unnatural posture. The stuttering, granted that wasn’t something new, just much more frequent and severe. The audible heartbeat always accompanied by rosy cheeks and goosebumps. 
Spencer Reid was fucking turned on by the glasses.
And he didn’t even try to hide it. Or maybe he did and was just really, really bad at doing so.
Either way, Y/n quickly discovered just how much fun it was getting these reactions to pour out of the kid...so of course she kept wearing the glasses even after she was able to wear contacts again. He didn’t need to know that. 
It was so fucking easy too. 
She would just be sitting at her desk, occupied by some particularly troubling pages of a case file that makes her have to readjust her frames out of stress, when she’d hear a high pitched squeak across the bullpen, followed by the pattering of frantic footsteps she had familiarized herself with in former few weeks. 
While she felt some kind of guilt for putting him through this, it was nowhere near enough to overtake the genuine excitement and gratification that came with knowing she could have such an effect on the adorable doctor.
Of course she found him attractive...how could she not with his perfectly sculpted cheekbones and nerdy slicked back hair. Ultimately Y/n could understand his apparent infatuation with her wearing glasses as she had caught herself, on more than a couple occasions, openly ogling his own specs. 
Maybe they were both weirdos...the whole situation was almost as strange as the Converse kink that she secretly harbored for years. Although her intuition was quick to suggest that, just maybe, both of her unique infatuations stemmed from the same noodle-shaped source.
Perhaps her favorite reaction of his, though, came about during the little office birthday party that the entire team had thrown for him.
He looked so adorable in the gigantic birthday cake hat they had bestowed upon him, Y/n could hardly contain her giggles at the giddy smile adorning his face. She watched on in amusement as Spencer tried desperately to get the candles on his cake to extinguish, to no avail, at least until someone felt bad watching his struggles and decided to give him a hand.
“They’re trick candles Spence, they’re gonna come back on every time.”, JJ chuckled, subtly smirking at Morgan who was also enjoying Spencer’s ongoing struggles. 
A couple “happy birthdays” later and the rest of the team slowly began to disperse, leaving just Y/n and him alone in their own little space. He must’ve noticed this too because the blush that had already been present throughout the celebration beforehand seemed to deepen even further as he visibly swallowed down his nerves.
Slowly stalking towards the rouge kissed boy, she dragged a couple of her fingers across the surface of the desk, noting the way his eyes briefly flicked down to follow the movement before hesitantly returning his gaze to match her own. 
She also noted the way his knuckles were basically turning white from the amount of pressure he was using to grab the sides of the chair.
“You have a good birthday, Spence?”, Y/n drawled with a teasing smile, now standing directly before the trembling young man.
Seeming to snap out of whatever sort of trance he had been in, he hastily cleared out his throat before responding with a bit of trepidation. “Hmm...yeah-yes uh yes it was v-very good, than-thank you.”
She couldn’t even attempt to conceal the smirk that had made its way to her lips listening to the genius stutter through his words. Such a nervous, nervous boy. So adorable. So fucking hot. 
“Well that makes me happy. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself pretty boy.”, she paused her thoughts soaking in the little hitches in his breath surely from how close she was standing near him and the added nickname. Deciding to play a little bit dirty, she leaned over directly into his line of sight to reach for the cake set before him.
 “Now how about I take this away and cut it up for all of us to eat? Hmmm?”
His eyes darted immediately to the cleavage that was so graciously presented to him as she bent over to pick up the dessert, a sharp little gasp escaping his pretty, pink lips as his pupils dilated carelessly. 
Y/n inwardly smirked at his reaction and began walking towards the kitchenette, but only made it about three or four steps before being interrupted. 
“Did you know that in some instances birthday candles are safe for wax play?”, he exclaimed before seemingly realizing what had just escaped his lips, his hands flying up to cover his traitorous mouth. 
Bewildered, in the best of ways, by what had just been said, she slowly swiveled back around, facing him once again, before placing the cake on the desk beside her. 
“What was that Spencer?”, she grinned at the petrified man who hadn’t made a single noise since his unexpected declaration. The poor thing looked like a caged in animal with nowhere to escape. Perfect.
“N-nothing! I m-mean obviously it was um s-something, but j-just uh just forget what I s-said.”, he quickly explained while frantically shaking his hands as if he was hoping he could simply wipe your memory of the last minute or two away permanently.
“No, no please go on.”, she teased. “Now I’m intrigued. What did you mean by ‘in some instances’ Spence?”
She wasn’t expecting the look of confusion, however brief it was, that peeked its way through the overwhelming embarrassment that had been showcased on his face, as if he truly couldn’t fathom that someone was actually asking him to go into more detail about a topic. 
Still didn’t change the fact that he was completely mortified.
Clearing his throat, he hesitantly lifted his gaze back to Y/n’s, seemingly debating with himself over whether he could articulate the words to come out or not. 
“Um...well..usually many p-people who choose to e-engage in such act-activities will use specific types of c-candles that are uh more designed especially for pl-play.”, he paused and she drank up the way his Adam's apple bobbed along his throat. “Uh
 basically depending on the t-type of candle that one u-uses, the amount of pain or um d-discomfort differs. B-birthday candles tend to b-be on the more painful side so only the couples who are in-into that kind of thing would ever really utilize t-them.”, he finished abruptly, his leg bouncing rapidly in her line of vision.
She still couldn’t really believe she had actually gotten him to say anything at all, nevermind an in depth analysis on wax play. In a weird way she was proud of him. Really proud. Sometime amidst her thoughts, she’d found herself standing directly behind his sitting figure, her hands resting on either side of him against the table, the goosebumps visible on his skin from the implications of the position they were currently in.
“That’s really intriguing Spencer. I’d love to find out someday just why it is you know so much about the subject, but I don’t want to make you go into cardiac rest anytime soon.”, she remarked, giggling at the shy smile that made its way to his mouth.
She didn’t even register reaching out to lightly touch his lips until she heard his sharp intake of breath. Until he turned his head so they were mere centimeters apart. Until she watched his puppy eyes dart between her lips and your frame covered gaze. Until the space between them seemed to be lessening with every sec-
“Hey pretty boy! Where’s my cake?”
Y/n grudgingly pulled back at the interruption, watching in amusement as Spencer’s body instinctively leaned forward as if his lips hadn’t gotten the memo and were still searching for hers. “It’s coming right up you lazy ass!” she yelled back with a grin on her face.
She looked back to the boy sitting before her and was almost mesmerized by the dazed look present on his face, the blush slowly retreating as he came back to his surroundings. She could tell there were words that he wanted to say, but they just didn’t seem to be forming fast enough to actually come out. Deciding to put their little moment on hold before he passed out, she walked back over to the neglected dessert and started heading towards the break room again.
“I’ll make sure to save you the biggest piece, Spence.”,she threw over her shoulder, chuckling at the bewildered look still that was still present on his face.
~~~
The day was a big success in her opinion. 
Spencer looked even more like a child than usual with the big shit eating grin that remained throughout the celebration and the bulky hat that he refused to take off. She could never understand how someone could have such an affinity for sugar as she watched him devour the huge slice of cake she had carved up for him.
But hours later, it was just her and Spencer left in the building. 
And she was not about to let that go to waste.
Y/n could see him from where she stood at the entrance to the kitchenette. She could see the way he slouched over his desk with his legs curled underneath him, criss cross applesauce, as he scribbled down whatever case file he was working on. She admired his determined work ethic, that’s for sure.
But now was simply not the time to work.
Spencer immediately froze as soon as her body situated itself to be leaning against his desk, painfully aware of her gaze on his tense form. 
“H-hey Y/n.”, he nervously murmured, the stutter once again making her giddy.
“Hey yourself doc. Wanna tell me why it is you’re still here working at such a late hour? Doesn’t the elusive Spencer Reid have better things to be entertaining himself with?”, she drawled, her piercing gaze making the poor kid squirm before her eyes.
“Oh um no...n-not really. I actually don’t mind working late. It’s k-kind of therapeutic in a way. But um...I’m happy t-that you’re here w-with me.”, he whispered the last part as if he was scared you wouldn’t appreciate his gratitude.
But she appreciated it more than he knew.
Noticing the little pencil holder situated amongst the file stacks on his desk, an idea popped into her mind that she just couldn’t shake, prompting her to pick it up and begin fiddling with it.
“Oh is that so pretty boy? Does my presence satisfy you?” Before he could even attempt an answer she “accidently” dropped the holder on the ground, the array of pens and pencils dispersing among the floor. “Oops my bad.”
Spencer immediately scrambled out of his seat and onto the floor to start collecting the colorful writing utensils, the perfect distraction needed for Y/n to situate herself on his desk with her legs spread open directly in front of his face. 
“D-don’t worry abou-”, his sentence cut off as he looked up and was met with the tantalizing sight of her white lace panties already damp with her excitement. She swore he could die happy with the way his eyes widened and cheeks flushed. She couldn’t help but chuckle lightly.
“See something you like baby?” Unable to even form words, the young doctor slowly nodded his head, eyes still locked on the obvious wet spot between her open legs.
“C-can I..can I um
”
“Use your words baby boy. Can you what?”, she spoke clearly, grasping his chin so he’d look her in the eyes.
“C-can I taste you?” She couldn't get over the desperate way he spoke as if he’d die of thirst if he didn’t get a drink from her.
“Of course you can sweet b-” Not even letting the words leave her mouth, his hands were eagerly pulling her panties down and off her legs, his lips instantly connecting with the heated flesh at the apex of her thighs. She swore his tongue and lips were enchanted with the way he was able to effortlessly maneuver his way around, easily picking up on what she loved. 
“Oh Spencer you’re such a good boy.” she couldn’t resist  threading her fingers through his silky hair and tugging slightly, an action she assumed he enjoyed based on the muffled whine she heard from between her thighs. 
It hadn’t even been more than a few minutes before she found herself already on the verge of letting go. No guy had ever been able to make her feel this good and just electric until now. He was quickly ruining her for anyone else in the future. She did not mind in the slightest.
“Baby I really wanna feel you inside me. Is that something you want sweetheart?”
He reluctantly pulled back after a few more kitten licks to her clit, wide eyes finding hers and whimpering out a broken “yes”. More than happy with his response she gently pulled him up by his hair and started undoing his belt, his oversized pants easily falling down without the extra support. Just another thing about him that she had come to adore. She was very pleased by the obvious bulge that protruded through his baby blue checkered boxers. 
Before she pulled those down too, though, she very gently reached up and cupped his cheeks, guiding his plump lips to her own, basking in the delighted whimpers that escaped his mouth at the soft but passionate contact. She released his lips with a slight nip and proceeded with his clothing removal, coaxing him to sit down in the swirly chair he had been previously residing in, before straddling his lap. 
“You ready sweet boy?”, she asked leaning forward to kiss his rouge forehead and cheeks.
“Mhmm I’m r-ready.”
Taking that as the go ahead, she cautiously positioned herself over his throbbing erection before slowly lowering herself inch by inch until he was completely enveloped by her tight, warm walls. 
“Oh-ohh my.”, he whimpered at the overwhelming feeling of being connected so intimately. Gently, she started to move a bit more, hesitantly lifting up before lowering herself back down, flush against his lap, one of her soft hands anchoring herself to his shoulder while the other caressed his flushed cheeks.
“I know baby, I know. You feel so good baby boy I don’t think I’m going to be able to last much longer.”
“M-me neither.”, he stuttered as the pace she had previously set seemed to increase in speed, the excitement and ecstasy getting to the both of them and subconsciously pushing the two of them closer to their shared release. 
The fire was quickly building within her body and she knew she was truly crumbling at the seams, but with the way his body was trembling and his dick was subtly twitching inside of her she knew he was right there too.
“It’s ok baby boy, it’s ok. Cum for me sweet boy. I want you to cum inside and fill up my pussy Spence.”, she muttered feeling the beginning of her end crash unexpectedly throughout her entire being, grasping onto the boy underneath her to tie herself to the earth. 
Overwhelmed by the utter euphoria of Y/n cumming around him, Spencer let himself get thrown off the edge, his hands tightening on her waist hard enough she was sure little bruises would form come tomorrow, not that she minded at all.
“Oh Y/n!” She watched on, obsessed with the way that his mouth fell open in a little o-shape as his eyes squeezed shut, the tell tale signs of pleasure coursing through his veins, the warm feeling that he left deep inside of her as she gently lifted herself from his shaking legs, reaching for her panties before the warmth was able to escape down her damp thighs.
Looking back at the trembling boy after cleaning herself and him up, she couldn’t help but melt at the lovesick, puppy dog eyes he was giving her, prompting her to lean forward and leave more little kisses on the top of his damp hair.
“That was incredible Spence. Really incredible. I’ve never felt anything like that before baby.”
She melted even further at the way he shyly dropped his head to somewhat hide the wide grin that had spread like wildfire across his face. There was a comfortable silence between the two of them before his head lifted with a questioning glance.
“How’d you-I mean uh how did you know that I liked you?” There was no way she could control the giggles that left her lips at his silly question.
“You weren’t exactly subtle with the whole glasses thing Spence.”
And then the only sound heard throughout the building was her full blown laughter at the mortification that speedily adorned his cherry cheeks.
Tag List: @hopebaker @pastathighs @psychedellic-phase @gloryekaterina @sleepysnapesnake @racharr @etherealgubler @furiouspartyrebelhoagie @andiebeaword @liaabsurd @cielo1984 @starkeybaby @victomizedbyreginageorge @rainsong01 @moonlight-jukebox @gretaamyk @httpnxtt @rachelxwayne @watermelonstyl @goldnratio @cheyxminds @kricketc29 @cupcake525 @pinkdiamond1016 @slutforthegubes @shadyladyperfection @emilysallysmith @babblingbrookex @legendaryanimeaestheticclou @sunstspidey @ashwarren32 @pixels-impulse @eviewildflower @spencerreider @awkwardsadaa @dirty-pan-goblin @ughgoaway @cromies90-blog @mightaswell247 @calm-and-doctor @golden-hoax @1mpvls3 @lonewolf471 @centiaaa @spencerspecifics
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mallowstep · 2 years ago
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1/3 hi! um this is like a whole story but basically I was a huge fan of ur work for abt half a yr before I checked out ur tumblr and after like 2 months of that I came across ur proship posts. My first reaction was like not great. But then I sat with it for a while and I really thought about it for like a few months and I was like huh wow yk I actually really like this point of view. Anyways, after that, I tried to explore what proship actually was more starting with the reblogs and your posts
2/3 on here and then going from there. And it just made me feel so good. Like, there was no more tireless searching for every single possibly problematic thing in the media I consumed or making sure it wasn’t cringe, I kind of just did what I wanted. And I kind of ended up adopting that mentality in my everyday life and my depression has gotten so much better. Like in the end, is it really worth it if some random person on the internet thinks I’m problematic for reading warrior cats. Anyways
3/3 I just wanted to thank you because I never would have changed my mindset and fixed my mental health if it wasn’t for your blog and your clear explanations.
normally i would wait until the morning for this, but...i really wanted to get to it tonight. sigh. this as nothing to do with my inability to sleep at normal hours, no.
i appreciate you sticking around to find out what i'm about! (fwiw, i don't consider myself proship. i tend not to agree with self-described antis, but i've also met plenty an anti who doesn't...conflict with any of my viewpoints? they're...just someone who agrees with me? so.) seriously, i appreciate that a lot.
i think my blog is more a snapshot of what fandom was like back when i started on the internet, which was...well, fandom-wise, was around 2012? oh, the math i struggle thru for y'all. anyway. back then, my opinions were normal, if not leaning conservative. so it's...just really goddamn weird for me to find out my opinion is actually super controversial and heavily debated. i know i tell this story every time, but there was that post about asking if ships were okay and what you ship is between you and god.
but...yeah, that's what i'm all about. i'm about having fun. like...i legitimately worry about most self-described antis. it legitimately reminds me of the way i behaved when i was a bundle of anxiety and trauma responses. it's...not good. there are times when i have had to close a tumblr tab not because someone said something aggressive or anything, but just because...seeing someone question themselves like that was incredibly upsetting.
so i'm really happy you got out of that mindset, because i just...i don't know, it's not healthy behavior. i worked so hard to overcome it, i still work hard to overcome it, and it is fucking...terrifying to me that a community exists that validates people and encourages them to stay in that mindset and get worse. i've said i'm not here to change minds, and i'm not. i think that would destroy me. i've worked so hard to understand that i am not responsible for what other people do with my words. that i am not responsible for any harm that could happen. i don't think letting myself get into discourse beyond the level i'm currently at would be good for me.
but still, that doesn't mean i can't get happy when i did help someone.
so yeah, yeah i'm really happy for you. i hope...god. i don't do this to change minds and i don't think telling people directly that they should change or bad mental health is good. but. i hope people find peace. and i don't think that's...
urgh, okay. i have...learned that there are unanswerable questions. i used to think that all questions had answers. but. your anxiety is insatiable. there will always be something problematic to worry about. the only way to escape is to decide you aren't going to try. (that's some loosely repeated OCD therapy things. there's way more to this but it's late.)
so i'm really, truly glad i helped you. as someone with serious mental health problems that are reflected in how i engage with media...i get it. i get it fully. and i'm really happy things got better for you.
y'know i'm not here to change anyone's mind. i'm just a guy. i'm just a dude, who posts about warrior cats and sometimes rages at the world. but.
idk, i don't go out and expect to change anyone, but if anyone is changed by me, that feels good? and i do...i want people to find peace. i want people to not be wound up tight with insatiable anxiety. i want people to get to have fun and enjoy things.
(ending note:
"cringe" and "problematic" really stop mattering when you have a Cringe and Problematic Disorder. like. idk i have experienced a lot of harm. that's not a secret. i have experienced a lot of different kinds of pain. if you want to tell me that warrior cats is problematic, that i shouldn't engage with something that lets me understand my own goddamn life, or that sharing the way i do that and having people support me, when saying it directly is either something i can't do or something that leaves people speechless, fuck, go for it.
but i'm not going to listen. i have bigger problems. if i was gonna cringe about something, it'd probably be about a younger part talking to people, only i'm not even going to cringe about that. if i was concerned about something problematic about me, it'd probably be the fact that i got in a fist fight with myself, only that's...well okay, it's something i'm working on. but it's not something the internet gets to judge me for.
so like. yeah. idk. the past...six months? have really reframed a lot of things for me. i have really, really, really just stopped fucking caring.)
<3
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demonio-fleurs · 2 years ago
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Tag 9 People You Want To Get To Know Better!
thank you @iam-jacks-redacted-information for the tag!! it's been a minute since i've done one of these so i'm excited !!
First Ship: oh lord. um. so probably usagi/mamoru from sailor moon, but the first time i "remember" consciously shipping something, to like the point where i was engaging in the fandom for it, was tadamu from shugo chara! and it was my first taste of "ah, so this is what it's like to ship something that isn't endgame." it was also a terribly embarrassing time of my life that i will never let myself live down.
Three Ships: hmm... here's some ships i'm currently shipping
imodna(sp?) i haven't really been keeping up with cr3, but i've been popping in from time to time and i do really love the dynamic that marisha and laura have got going on with laudna & imogen. also, sapphic ships for the win!
zorobin (sp?) and lowkey zoro/perona and robin/franky. one piece is my current hyperfocus and robin/zoro/franky are my blorbos so it's just kinda natural i'd gravitate towards shipping them. i lowkey started shipping zoro/sanji at the end of the thriller bark arc, but as of right now (fishman island) i'm leaning more towards the ships i originally listed. that could change by the time i'm caught up tho!!
twiyor. uwu. i fucking love spyxfamily so much, it is my jam and twiyor are the long, slow burn i've been looking forward to for a long time!! i'm super curious to see how long it'll be till one of them finds out about the others identity!!
Last Song: i've had all of uta's songs from one piece red on repeat for the last few days, outside of that it'd be no horse in this race by my good friend zane thomas. it's a beautiful song about depression/suicide, especially in the comedy industry, as well as creating for the sake of creation. any song from his ep is amazing but i've really been listening to that one recently!
Last Movie: the grinch who stole christmas jim carrey version. although technically i just watched my neighbor totoro and spirited away at work but i don't really count that.
Currently Reading: well i just finished roman holiday from rwby, which was REALLY good, so now i'm debating reading kakashi's story or ace's story. i'm also going to be re-reading spyxfamily here soon !!
Currently Consuming: the last few sips of my rockstar limon pepino energy drink. i promised myself i'd be better about drinking energy drinks but the caffeine helps me feel more balanced when im off my meds.
Currently Craving: red bean covered dango. i had it for new years and it's so fucking good and i could eat dozens of it.
okay. tagging peeps. let's see @eriklehnsherrr @neeshabun @questionablecryptids @tablednacl @thegreatbaerri @katia-dreamer @chasmophilia @dnd-n-tea @i-phoenix
Tag, you’re it!
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baubuttercup · 4 years ago
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Burning Calories / Spencer Reid
Summary: At ladies night reader spills about her crush on a particular co-worker and later finds out he may already know.
Spencer Reid x Reader
Warning: Fluff, mention of sexual activities
A/N: I haven’t fully edited it but hope you enjoy it. Feel free to send requests in :)
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After a long case in South Carolina, me and girls decided to have a ladies night at Penelope's house. We were currently five shots in and Penelope was already in a laughing fit. "I think we need to cut you off now" JJ suggested giggling at the colourful girl "Don't be a party pooper JJ...ooo i know lets play never have i ever" Penelope cheered filling her cup with some concoction she created earlier
I was already ready to pass out but knew i wouldn't hear the end of it from the girls. I wasn't a heavy drinker at all and when the team usually went out to the bar, i hung around with Spencer who i found to be great company. Ever since i first started at the BAU, Spencer and  i got on like a house on fire, we constantly spoke about our favourite writers, the new episodes of Doctor Who and even about personal issue going on in our lives. I felt incredibly safe around him and it didn't help because i was developing a huge crush on him, but i knew he would never feel the same way, i mean how could he?
"Okay i'll go first, never have i ever showed up to work hung over" Emily said. Everyone drank except for me. I mean thats not surprising at all.
--
The game continues for about 5 questions until Penelope decided to spice up it up
"Okay, never have i ever had a sexual dream about a co-worker" I mentally facepalm myself knowing i have had plenty. I slowly take a sip of my drink hoping nobody would notice, that is until i hear a squeak coming from beside me. "UMM SPILL IT GIRL, WHO, WHAT, WHERE, HOW" Garcia caught me and never have i ever felt so embarrassed, i could feel my face burning up."come on y/n elaborate, don't keep us guessing" Emily stated chuckling to herself "we won't judge, we promise" JJ tries to keep the others settled while also trying to get information out of me.
I debated whether or not to tell them but eventually gave up knowing they are probably too drunk to even remember what i say "Fine, um i may have sort of had a dream about Reid one or twice" more like a dozen times i think to myself. All the girls had their jaws on the floor staring at me straight in the eye. I took a sip of my drink awkward at the silence and stares that filled the room "REID AS IN BOY GENIUS REID" Penelope practically yells at the top of her lungs "there is no way,  oh my god you have a thing for Spencer, this is so cute" Emily couldn’t contain her smiles any longer. JJ looks at me with awe "Please tell me you are going to tell him you like him and also what kind of sexual dream?" my heart starts to race at the though of Spencer finding out, i would be completely shattered if i got rejected so by me not telling him prevents a lot of heartbreak and also an awkward work place environment.
  "to answer your question no i wont tell him because there is no point, he doesn't like me and i am okay with that" i lie to myself and the others knowing i am not fine with it, i want nothing more than to be with Reid and i knowing that it will never happen does hurt. "and to continue with the question, lets just say we were burning some calories on the plane" i smirk to myself remembering the vivid dream that i wished was real. "naughty girl" Emily stated laughing at the thought of me and Reid doing it on the plane.
the night continued with the girls asking me many many questions about my crush on Reid and practically forcing me to tell him. 
--
The next day i walk into the BAU, head pounding and feeling kind of nauseous.  I walk up to the break area and see Reid pouring himself a cup of coffee. He looks up and meets my eyes and i start to get butterflies in the pit of my stomach "Hey y/n, how was ladies yesterday?" all the memories start flushing back and i physically try to contain my blushed cheeks that were getting hotter by the minute. As i was about to say speak Hotch came up to us with a look of hurry "Wheels up now, there's been a child abduction in Florida, Garcia will brief us on the plane" Spencer and i stare at each other before walking out with out go bags.
--
The plane ride seemed somewhat awkward but i couldn't put my finger on it. I sat next to Spencer while Derek and Hotch sat across from us. Derek kept looking up at at me and Reid every now and then and all i could think of was that Penelope must have told him what i said. I made a mental note to ask Derek and make sure he doesn't tell Spencer anything.
The plane landed and everyone was slowly filing out. It was just me and Reid in the plane gathering out belongings. All of a sudden i feel his lips inches away from my ear and my heart beings to pound fast and the slight contact."So should we burn some calories now or on the way back" I quickly whipped my head up to looked at him and saw a sweet, adorable smile on his face. I nudged him giggling unable to control my smile. We both exited with blushed expression on our faces. Maybe i should spill secrets more often on ladies nights, it seems to definitely work in my favour. 
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chrisevansgoodgirl · 4 years ago
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give me all your poison, i’m immune to it.
summary: laurie finally fucking leaves.
warnings: cheating, age gap, smut. actual smut. all that usual daddy stuff.
word count: about 12,200
pairing: andy barber  x reader
part 1 x part 2 x
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It wasn’t like you could blame Laurie. She didn’t know that you were fucking toys on a webcam, making videos of your fingers buried in your cunt, and taking pictures dressed or undressed for her husband. She was innocent. She thought that you were just the babysitter and that her husband was still the loving, faithful man who would never do anything remotely distrustful.
Obviously, she was wrong, dead wrong, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it. Not given your current location. You just had to start thinking before you spoke. Admittedly, you normally didn’t talk to Laurie about your homework but sometimes, the guilt of being the worst person on the planet caused you to overcompensate. Your mouth moved, without your permission, at times.
You’d merely told her that you needed to interview someone in the criminal justice field for your English class. Stupidly—because you were stupid, that much was clear—you hadn’t anticipated that she would suggest Andy. Everyone was a lawyer in Salem, your grand plan had been to just ask your dad. Or to go out into the middle of the street and yell for one. It had never crossed your mind to ask Andy.
Before you could decline, she had already picked up her phone and dialed his number.  Now, being involved with Andy was a tight rope walk. Had you claimed that you already had someone, she would have asked who, he would have then wondered the same thing. If you had to give a name, you would have only been able to give your boyfriend’s father. Andy would have found a way to see you in person, just to smack your ass bright red.
You were stuck. He was stuck, Laurie didn’t exactly give him the option of saying no. You weren’t trying to claim that either of you were passive victims in any of this. You were both equally-at-fault villains. You teased and he took the bait, he teased and you took the bait. It was never a question of whether one of you were going to be inappropriate, it was merely a matter of how and when.
In short, you were trying to say that yes, you were ashamed, but you were also an opportunist. That night, when he texted you, you dove straight into a whole act of innocence. You promised this was not your goal and that it was fine if he wanted to cancel on you. You played the boyfriend’s father card and he ignored that suggestion in favor of telling you when you be in his office and gave you some guidance on what he wanted to see you wearing.
He adored you in pink, that much remained and probably always would. So, on the day of the interview, you had breakfast plans with your boyfriend, and after confirming to him you would be there, everything kind of fell into place in your mind. Since Andy didn’t explicitly express his displeasure at the thought of you spending time with your father’s boyfriend, you could pretend to be clueless about it.
Which was what you did. You had breakfast with your boyfriend and let his father drive you to the office. They were coworkers, why would you suspect that they didn’t get along? Honestly, Andy could pin nothing on you, and you knew that would be the most frustrating aspect for him.
On top of that, you were in the car with the man he certainly couldn’t stand in a tiny, pink plaid skirt. You’d draped your bag and jacket over your legs, but Andy didn’t need to know that. All Andy needed to do was get possessive.
It had happened perfectly. You showed up at the same time as him, but he couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t throw a fit that you were in another man’s car, he had to wait. Until that hour that he had promised you a little before 10.
Your chauffeur of the day was a huge gossip, always had been. You certainly weren’t bored all morning waiting for Andy to be available to you. By the time he had texted you, you were completely caught up on all the office drama, a few things you were going to be bringing up to Andy, if only to play jealous and maybe get a little something out of it.
Go wait for me in my office. Now.
Great, you’d already had some office fantasies, this certainly wasn’t going to help.
You were sat in the chair in front of his desk, shifting uncomfortably. You hadn’t done a lot of sitting earlier, given your specific circumstances—the plug in your asshole and the vibrator in your pussy.
When he walked in, he didn’t look at you. He began removing his jacket and loosening his tie. All you could do was watch his arms and hands moving as he made his way to his chair.
You were so happy to see him, you didn’t notice how cold he was being—but you had been told about Andy’s coldness, by your gossiping mate, several times he’d said Andy was barely human. Maybe a robot. You hadn’t thought anything of it because he was just so perfect with you. “How was this morning? Did you win?”
He eyed you as he sat down across from you, rolling his sleeves up toward his elbows. “I only have an hour.”
He had told you that and it wasn’t like you had forgotten, but that was his clear way of telling you he didn’t want to talk about anything but the assignment. Then why were you filled with sex toys?
You looked down at your notebook. “Yeah, um—”
“What is this assignment for?”
You looked up but turned right back down when you saw how he was staring at you. Andy was an intense man, it was probably why you were so attracted to him, but that didn’t mean you weren’t a little scared of him. “We’re reading this book about a lawyer who’s, like, a villain, essentially, I guess, and so we’re talking to people who are what we would think of as, like, heroes
because we’re supposed to understand that not all villains start as villains and sometimes they don’t want different things than good people.”
He hummed.
You felt like you sounded like an idiot—did any of that make sense? You gently cleared your throat and turned down to the list of questions again. “Did you always want to be a lawyer?”
“No.”
Was he going to give more than just one word? After ten seconds, you figured not. You knew then that you were never going to tell Laurie anything ever again. “What else did you want to be?”
He sighed in thought. “There was a firefighter, a doctor, a photographer for a few minutes.”
“And history teacher,” you recalled from your car conversations. Oh, simpler times. “Do you like being a lawyer?”
“Mostly.”
About several questions and just as many short replies later, you were thinking maybe it was time to cut the interview. You could claim that you had everything you needed and just try to forget this whole tense exchange—but see, he must have sensed that you were about to pull away.
With a soft sigh, you set your pen back in your bag. “I think—”
“Take off your panties.”
You instantly looked at him, confused.
“Take them off,” he repeated.
Well, this wasn’t unexpected. You leaned over to set all your things on the floor next to your feet. As you sat back, you took one look back at the door.
“I locked it.”
You didn’t stand, worried the toys would move if you did—you were so wet because even though he was being a complete jerk, his voice still did awful things to you. You leaned back in the chair, legs spreading as you pulled your panties down.
His eyes trailed down your legs and he held his hand out.
You squirmed a little before you leaned forward and handed him your underwear. Your heart stopped when he brought them up to his nose, inhaling deeply. You had been going crazy thinking about him eating you out lately—it was such an intense craving, sometimes you debated calling him and talking him into another car meetup.
He brought them down below his desk, you assumed to hide them away in his pocket. “We don’t have that much longer to wait.”
Two and a half weeks. “Yeah
but still too long.”
“It is,” he agreed. “But I won’t fuck you here, not the first time, at least.”
“Then where?” you quizzed. Certainly not his bed that he shared with his wife.
Instead of answering, he looked at his cellphone off to his side. “Open your legs and pull up your skirt.”
You did so, patiently waiting as he tapped the screen on his phone. You remembered getting these in the mail. Your parents were starting to get suspicious of all the things you were receiving but the packages never had his name on them and to find out anything, they would need to parent. So, overall, weren’t worried.
“Have those toys been there all morning?”
“Yes.”
“Since our FaceTime this morning when you let me see you put them in?”
“That’s what I said.”
“So, you didn’t take them out to fuck your boyfriend?”
You scoffed. “You jealous, daddy?”
“Once you’re on my cock, you’re never going anywhere else, so no, I’m not jealous. I just want to know.”
“Nope. Didn’t fuck him. Just didn’t want to drive myself over here.” You shrugged. “Not a big deal, I still hang out with him. He’s still my boyfriend.”
“Change that,” he said, but you could tell he didn’t mean it.
You snorted. “Leave your fucking wife.”
He arched an eyebrow at you. “I don’t fuck my wife.”
You shrugged. “I don’t fuck my boyfriend
often.”
“You don’t think he’s gonna notice that your pussy is getting harder and harder to fill and satisfy?”
You shrugged.
“How does he fuck you?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I wanna know. Start from the beginning. Does he ask you? Does he tell you?”
You averted your gaze to the desk between you and stopped to think about it. “I guess
he just touches me.”
“And how does he touch you?”
“Usually my waist or my hips. He kisses me, and sometimes he’ll hug me, walk me to the bed.”
“And does he undress you?”
“I think I mostly undress myself. I don’t care to let him do it.”
“Then?”
Your hand came up to your necklace. It was this small chain with a star charm—Andy had given it to you a while back. It had become a nervous habit of yours to toy with it. “Um
I don’t know. If I’m not wet enough, he watches me finger myself until I am.”
“Why doesn’t he do it?”
You shrugged. “I just never ask him to.”
“Why not? You have no problems telling me what you want.”
“Because I know you’ll make it feel good. He tried once
he just wasn’t
that good. He fucking scratched me.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, baby girl, that’s what happens when you fuck boys.”
You rolled your eyes. “Yes, you’ve mentioned that once or twice.” A million times by now, you were sure.
“Does he ever go down on you?”
“He’s tried
I just
don’t like it.”
“Yeah? You were nearly crying last night, telling me you can’t wait for me to eat your pussy. You’ve been obsessed with it for nearly the past two weeks.”
“I don’t like him to do it,” you clarified. “I don’t trust him a lot.”
“You trust me?”
He sounded so surprised, you finally looked at him. His eyes were on your face, so stormy and blue. You shrugged and muttered, “yeah.” Why else would you be doing this?
“Then?” he pressed.
You looked away again, too embarrassed to say any of this and look him in the eye. “Um, then he fucks me.”
“Just like that?”
“Yeah. Mostly, yeah.”
“Doesn’t make you beg for it?”
“No,” you snorted, “because I wouldn’t beg him.”
“Good; reserve that pathetic behavior.”
“All for you, daddy,” you promised, smirking.
“What else is for me, angel?”
You thought for a moment. “He doesn’t touch my ass.”
“You’ve never been fucked there?”
“Nope.”
He shifted, leaning further back in his chair. “Anything else?”
“I don’t suck his cock, I don’t ride him.”
“Is that so?”
“But I want to ride your cock, daddy. I want to right now.”
“I know, baby, I’ll let you one day.”
“What about today? Will you fuck my mouth?”
He sat up, trying to regain his composure as he cleared his throat. “Do you want me to?”
You nodded.
He stood and your eyes darted down to where his cock was, hard and so desperate for you. He made his way in front of you, setting his phone down once more.
You chanced a look at the screen. The two toys inside you were listed there on the menu screen of the app, ready to be turned on whenever he pleased. You looked up at him again.
“Does he make you come?”
“I fucking swear, Andy,” you sighed and rolled your eyes.
“What? You can ask me questions, but I can’t ask you questions?”
“He can, he’s capable
he doesn’t do so often.”
He nodded.
“Does your wife make you come?”
“I told you, we haven’t had sex in quite a while.”
“Since before this?”
He didn’t answer.
You nodded. “So, you’re a hypocrite.”
“And you’re being a brat, and you better watch yourself.” He started with his belt, but you kept your eyes on his. The zipper of his pants sounded and he reached in to pull out his cock. “Lean toward me and open your mouth.”
You did so, sure to keep your eyes on him. You didn’t flinch when you felt his tip against your tongue, and continued to hold his stare as he slid in.
His attention had moved to where his cock was, eyebrows pulled together, mouth dropped. His small, deep sounds were filling the room, making you so impossibly wet.
It was quickly too much for you to take and you were sure it wasn’t even half of him, but when you gagged after he touched the back of your throat, you opened your mouth again, wider. He looked impressed with your willingness, eagerness, and continued pulling out and pushing back in until your throat reacted around him over and over.
You saw that he reached off to the side where his phone was, but you still startled as you felt the toys vibrating inside you. Your eyes rolled back and you closed your lips around him, moaning.
That was when his hand found the back of your head. He just wanted to hold you where you were and let you get used to all the sensations.
The plug in your ass was at a much higher setting, Andy seemed to enjoy how sensitive you were there. The vibrator in your pussy had an extension that curved perfectly to touch your clit, it had been brushing against you just right all morning and you had been ready to explode if he wasn’t going to let you feel it.
He set the toys on lower settings so you could focus on him for a moment. When your eyes met his again, that was when he gently, slowly started to fuck your mouth. There was just something different about Andy’s cock. All those veins you could feel on your tongue, and he was so big and so hard, yet his skin was velvety smooth, you were consumed with thoughts of it inside you.
He tasted just the same as the others, but that was where the comparisons ended. Andy was not just a regular man. He was an important person, fucking your throat, completely in charge of you, your mouth, your body—and you would have it no other way. It made you feel important, that he had chosen you.
Your jaw was already sore, but you didn’t care. Your mouth felt stretched, your throat a little raw, but oh well. This man did not seem close and you weren’t going to do a single thing except sit there and take him. You would do this for the rest of the day if he wanted you to.
He played with the vibration settings then, searching for ways to make you moan around his cock. There was no pattern or method in the way he handled the toys, he was so caught up in his own pleasure that he couldn’t tease you even if he wanted.
You were nearly squirming out of the chair, whining, swallowing around him. When he knew you were coming, when your hips were moving, when your nails were sounding on the chair that you were gripping so tight, he pulled you down on his cock as far as you could go. This was how he silence the sounds frantically pouring out.
He wanted to savor this, he wanted to fuck your mouth until he was satisfied—and since you’d been teasing him for months and months, he had a lot of built-up frustration. He might have to keep you there all day, something he felt inclined to let you know. “Baby, you feel so damn good, I might need to stay in your mouth until my day is over.”
You were amused that he thought that you wouldn’t be into that. But of course, he had no idea how fucking beautiful you found him, and all the stupid shit you were willing to do for him. Not that you would be rushing to tell him. The way you looked at him, you could tell it gave him an inkling of an idea, because he turned from cocky to wrecked in a second.
“Are you wearing a bra?” That was the first time he pulled out completely, drool and his cum dripping down your chin. He began to pump his cock with a tight, fast fist.
“Yes.”
“Pull up your shirt,” he directed and you quickly did. “Pull down your bra.”
That was when you realized what he wanted. You hurriedly obliged, getting your bra as far out of the way as possible. Your breasts were exposed to him, nipples pebbling because it was so cold. You arched your chest up for him, silently begging for his cum.
He finished with a quiet groan, one hand holding him and the other gripping the desk, knuckles white, nails digging into the wood. His cum spilled out on your chest, he used his hold on himself to coat your nipples, and you shuddered at the feeling of his cock touching you there.
Breathless, he released his hold on himself and your eyes followed his cock. Even soft, he was so big. He leaned over and you sat back in the chair. He took the bra from your hands and set it back over your breasts.
He turned back to his phone and raised the vibration level again. Your body arched, your legs spread wide as he got on his knees before you. He grabbed your hips and pulled you to the edge of the chair.
“Like being covered in my cum?”
“Yes, daddy,” you whimpered. You did like it, how his cum was cooling against your skin, spread by the material of your bra, kept there but hidden, no one would ever know.
“Want me to come on you again?”
You nodded quickly.
“I need to see you finish. Then, I’m gonna eat your pussy until I’m hard again.”
“Daddy,” you whined. That would be no problem. The orgasms Andy gave you were always good but when he watched, they were a million times better. You got off on watching him watch you. You liked knowing that he liked seeing your body, hearing you cry out for him, that he was addicted to the ideas of touching you, smelling you, tasting you.
“Are you close, angel?”
You nodded. “Yes, daddy.”
He leaned over, kissing your mound, and you crumbled into a million pieces. You had to press your hand over your mouth, worried someone would hear you without his cock muffling you. He watched in awe, your face, your mouth, your shaking body. He turned down, suppressing a groan when he saw your pussy pulsing around the toy, full, satisfied, overstimulated.
He pulled out the toy in your pussy as soon as your body relaxed against the chair, but let you keep the plug. The next second, his mouth was pressed against you and you were whimpering and shuddering, hands grasping his hair as your hips rolled forward for more attention.
But he grabbed you and held you down, which took the toy vibrating in your ass almost too deep. He kissed up and down your soaking slit, licking his lips instead of you, a smug glint in his eyes. You ached with need, you just wanted to feel his tongue. Ever since you’d felt it in the car, you dreamed of it, fantasized, it was rarely off your mind.
“Daddy, please,” you whispered.
“Need my mouth?”
“Yes, daddy. Need your mouth and your tongue. Need you to eat my pussy so fucking bad.”
“When she’s gone, I’m gonna eat your pussy every night.”
You liked the sound of that, but you were confused. How was that going to happen?
He let the tip of his tongue slide down, teasing your entrance before he licked back up. He began kissing you again, smirking at the frustrated noise you tried to quiet by closing your mouth. He took his fingers and spread your pussy wide open. Eyes on yours, he flicked his tongue over your clit so fast that it took your breath away. He got you so close to that edge, your entire body trembling, your attempted breaths short and shaking, before he stopped.
“Daddy,” you gasped. Not this, not now. You couldn’t take Andy’s brand of teasing.
“We need to discuss something first, princess. I want you to stay at the house.”
“Are you fucking crazy?” It probably wouldn’t get you any points, in fact, it would probably irritate the hell out of him that you were speaking to him like that, but that was what came out. But that was all you could think.
“Probably.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know. That’s why I’m trying to get you to agree, while you’re not as stubborn, while you’re so distracted that you can’t think of consequences.”
“You’re an ass.”
“True, but I want to fuck you. I want to fall asleep next to you every night, buried in your pussy. Then, when we wake up, I want to fuck you again.”
“What about Jacob?”
“Guest room,” he explained.
It all made sense now. That was where he was intending to fuck you for the first time. You hummed, feigning insult. “I feel so special.”
“You should, I made the room up just for you.”
“You did?” you asked before you could talk to yourself about how dangerous that question was.
“Yes.”
You tried to ignore the butterflies that gave you, how your stomach was twisting, your heart was pounding, and your body abruptly felt hot. “Well, how can I say no to all that effort?”
“I suspect you will try to backtrack later,” he admitted.
He was probably right. “But since we already know that’s going to happen and you’re going to talk me out of it, why not just say yes now and let you make me come?”
“Good idea.”
You smiled a little. “Then my answer is yes.”
He didn’t say another word before he dove right back in. This time was different, there was more intent. He knew when to flick his tongue at your clit and when to run it through your folds, but more importantly, he knew just how to suck to make you see stars when you finished.
You were dizzy, breathless, and barely conscious when he stood up. His cock was hard again and you were once more ready for whatever he wanted from you. You sat up but stayed leaned on the chair, untrusting of your ability to stay upright on your own.
He stepped closer, hands grasping your hips to lift them from the chair. His cock was lined up with your pussy—as if he were going to fuck you, but you knew better—and your legs instinctively spread more. “Make me come, sweetheart.”
You set your hand over the head of his cock and pressed down until he was touching you, his fingers dug painfully into your skin. You wanted your arousal to wet his skin before you wrapped your hand around him and began pumping the length of his cock.
“Fuck, baby. You’re such a good girl, my fucking baby doll.”
Your eyes flit up to his. “You wanna come on my pussy, daddy?”
He stared down at you, body alarmingly tense. “I’d prefer to come inside your pussy, but I’ll settle this time.”
You moved faster, sensing both of you growing increasingly desperate. The noises coming from his open mouth were soft, low grunts and groans, but sometimes, these animalistic sounds that made you want to beg him to fuck you right there.
He must have seen that on your face because again, his hold on you tightened. “Don’t ask me to do that, I might not be able to stop myself.”
“What’s so bad about that?”
“Well, you’re not going to be able to walk when I’m done fucking you. You want your boyfriend’s dad to carry you out?”
You were unbothered by his joke, but still voiced your displeasure for it. “You’re sick.”
His eyes fell shut and his hips started to thrust forward into your hand, the head of his cock pressing against you so slightly every now and then. “And you are going to be the fucking death of me.”
You felt no need for further discussion, sensing that he was just about there. He pulled your hips closer as he was coming, jaw set to quiet his moan, eyes still shut tight. One last jerk of his hips and his cum was streaking across your skin. You were buzzing, still sensitive from his lips and tongue and beard and when his cum touched certain parts of you, you thought you might come again.
He finally opened his eyes, admiring how he left you painted and soaking wet. He gently set you back down on the chair, hands rubbing over where he had been holding you so tight. “Keep your legs open.”
You did so because you too wanted to stare just a little longer. You liked the way his cum was slowly dripping down your skin, teasing just like him. You felt him at your calves and turned down, finding him sliding your underwear back on. You happily angled your hips up for him, welcoming his method of keeping you covered in his cum.
As the material was settled over your ass, staring right at you, he gave your pussy one last kiss.
You shivered and he stood up, redressing himself.
He leaned over to where his phone was set and stopped the vibrating plug. “Did you get everything you needed from me?”
You snorted.
His eyebrow arched. “I was referring to your assignment.”
“Sure.”
He sighed, sitting across from you again. “Come on, I tried.”
You shrugged. “I said sure.”
“But it’s in your tone.”
“You’re not super talkative, not a big deal.”
He looked exhausted. “What else could you possibly want to know?”
You shook your head. “Nothing that needs to be included in my assignment.”
He scoffed, turning down. “Close your legs and pull your skirt down. I have to get back to work.”
You did as he ordered, trying to regain feeling that you hadn’t known you lost in your legs. You packed your things away and turned up to him, shooting him a curious look when you saw him watching you.
“Soon,” he asserted.
You tried not to smile but failed so terribly that even he had to smile. “Yes. Soon.”
“Is he taking you home or back to your boyfriend’s house?”
“His place, I think, yeah. Then I’m gonna walk.”
He hummed, pleased by the thought of you having to stay covered in him for so long. “Kiss him before you go home.”
You sighed, rolling your eyes. “Andy.”
“You better, baby, I’ll know if you’re lying.”
“You’re sick.”
“Yeah, probably will be as long as you’re in my life.”
You knew that was true. “Back at you.”
He smirked. “Get outta here, call me when you’re in a bath.”
“You want me to wait until you’re home?”
He glanced at his phone and nodded. “I’ll be home early, around 4. Stay exactly the way you are until then. Understood?”
“Yes, daddy.”
“One last kiss, angel.”
You stood and excitedly leaned over his desk to kiss him. It was brief, mostly you pulled away in surprise at how wet his beard was. Scrunching your nose, you wiped your palms along your jaw.
He watched you, clearly amused.
You kissed the tip of his nose and without another word, practically pranced out of his office.
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“You’ll call,” Laurie said. It didn’t sound like a question, but she was clearly asking, or more so begging.
“I promise.”
“I know a lot of tricks,” she insisted. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t think you’re great or that I don’t trust you, but I’m his mother. I just know more about him than anyone else.”
“I know,” you assured. “And I will call if I need help, I swear.”
“I’ve never been away from them,” she confided, frowning.
Andy was in the house, grabbing the last of Laurie’s things. You had wanted to get there before she left, knowing Laurie would feel much better talking to you directly, instead of through her husband.
“Well,” you began, awkwardly wringing your hands, “absence makes the heart grow fonder?”
She forced a smile. “We shall see, I suppose
 I just feel like something terrible is about to happen.”
Your stomach twisted, there had to be something wrong with you, right? Someone shouldn’t be able to stare at someone, who had only ever been great to them, and lie about fucking their husband.
Your gaze averted to the packed car. It was running, had been for a while. Laurie was clearly anxious, dreading the idea of leaving her husband, her home, and mostly, her child. “Don’t think like that. Everything will be fine.”
“I know that, deep down.”
“I’ll take pictures,” you offered, turning back to her. That was her biggest source of sadness, knowing that she would miss out on some of Jacob’s life. The least you could do was give some of that back to her.
Her smile turned sincere. “I feel so guilty about leaving him. He’s so young.”
“Too young, I’m sure. No emotional trauma will result.”
She scoffed. “Well, if he ends up a murderer—”
“You can tell me I was wrong,” you finished for her.
She hugged you tight and you felt guilt flare up again. It had been coming and going all morning, it had nearly made you sick when you were getting dressed this morning. You chose a skirt because Andy loved you in them so much, knee-high socks, and a thin sweater, but absolutely no underwear. You were going to hell, that much you were sure of.
Andy walked out then, and things just slowed down. It was his eyes, what he wasn’t saying but what you knew he felt, that was enough to calm you down. This was wrong, yes, but your feelings were sincere. At least it wasn’t just some fling, he wasn’t going to do this with someone else, you weren’t going to go after another married man. This was you and him, it just was.
He met your panicked stare, a knowing look in his eyes. He knew you were what you were thinking, feeling, and as soon as Laurie was gone, he was going to do everything in his power to stop it. “Last bag.”
Laurie pulled back, watching her husband load the last suitcase into the backseat. Once he turned to her, she threw herself at him.
Andy was slow to react, too slow in your opinion, but you figured Laurie had become used to that by now. You figured you weren’t exactly the reason Andy had started pulling away, you were just a step in that path.
And cue jealousy. You realized you’d never watched them together, not like this. Andy wasn’t an overly affectionate man so save for the occasional quick kiss when he got home, nothing. You hadn’t experienced this ugly emotion in the pit of your stomach all the times before that, but then, the last time had to have been months before he started driving you home.
“I know I’m being ridiculous,” she stated.
Considering, via text the night before, how many times he promised to make you come, she was not being ridiculous. You stepped back a few feet to give them some space, turning away completely when she kissed him.
You rolled your eyes as yourself, turning your attention to the porch you were standing on. What had you been expecting? That was his wife, of course, he was going to kiss her. You didn’t look at them again until Laurie called out a goodbye to you. You smiled, waving as she ducked into her car.
“Thank you so much.”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” you responded, probably more to make yourself feel better than her. This was not ‘nothing’, however, what you were doing was terrible, unforgivable.
“Really, I’m sure you’ll get tired of them in a few days.”
“No, not Jacob.”
Andy glanced at you curiously, a look you completely ignored.
Laurie laughed, looking at him once more. “I’ll call when I get there.”
“Okay. Drive safe.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“Bye, Y/N! Again, I can’t thank you enough.”
“Trust me, you don’t need to thank me.”
Andy rolled his eyes at you, but otherwise, you both kept appearances until she was down the street. The tension between you two was so strong that it became palpable outside. You knew that when you looked at him, it was done, there was no going back.
You turned to him first and then he turned to you. Arching an eyebrow, you began to step back toward the house, “Well, I should probably get started on this completely serious job.”
He nodded and made his way up the porch. “I agree. Go to your room—”
“My temporary room,” you interjected.
“And get on your bed—”
“My temporary bed.”
“And take off your—”
Your hand instantly pressed over his mouth. “Andy, seriously, none of this when Jacob is here. Okay?”
He leaned back, scoffing. “Jacob isn’t here.”
You rolled your eyes, gesturing into the living room. “I know he’s not here—”
“No, I sent him Derek’s house for the night. He wouldn’t let Laurie pack.”
“Oh.” So
then, oh. That meant that you two were alone and you had all night with him, and it was crystal clear how he wanted to spend that time. You also wanted the same thing; it was just that you hadn’t much time to prepare, mentally, physically. Maybe if you hadn’t fallen asleep last night instead of making videos with one of the toys, you would be a lot more confident.
“Do you want to see your room?”
“Yeah, okay.” You were insanely curious. He led the way up the stairs with you following closely.
Halfway there, he stopped as if he remembered something and turned back to you.
“What are you d—”
He cut you off with a kiss. His arms wrapped arms around you, pulling you into his chest. He’d never kissed you like this, so freely, so desperately. There had been the time in the car, fueled by lust and thrill. This wasn’t that. He held you and locked you in completely, one arm looped around the small of your back, the other around your shoulders, and he just kissed you. It was unhurried because he could finally get lost in you since no one was around, and forceful because there was no reason to stop. Nothing could stop this.
His beard was pricking your skin, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was starting to feel like home, much to your dismay. His tongue soothed your lips anytime the short, rough hairs scratched you there, which was increasingly often as the kiss turned from sweet and experimental to frenzied and disgustingly needy.
You hadn’t realized it was you that started asking for more and taking it without permission—it was you that brought your hands up to his face, you that took advantage of his opened mouth—not until he pulled away. Your hand came up to your lips, the only barrier you could think to put between you two before you tried to kiss him again. How were you ever going to stop now that Laurie was gone?
He smiled at you, rubbed his hand up and down your back. “You really are going to end up killing me, aren’t you?”
His hand closed around yours before you responded and he started guiding you upstairs with him. You continued to press your fingers to your lips, hoping they would stop tingling like you were some pathetic 13-year-old.
“Does she know? About the room?”
“Yeah. I told her it was a good idea
I get home late sometimes, and you need to be here early anyway. She agreed
she would agree with anything that got you away from your parents.”
“But not my daddy?” you teased.
He glanced back at you briefly, trying not to smile. “Can you not call me daddy when we’re talking about your actual dad?”
“As if that doesn’t turn you on more,” you muttered.
“It doesn’t,” he claimed.
You rolled your eyes. “So, she saw the room?”
“No,” he scoffed. “That would have been a dead giveaway. I just told her that I left it the way it was, and I’d let you do whatever you wanted to it.”
“Why didn’t you let me do whatever I wanted to it?”
Jacob’s room was the first room right at the start of the hall on the left. There was a small closet on the opposite side, the guest bathroom next to it. Andy and Laurie’s room was toward the end, the guest bedroom across from it. It seemed like a weird place for a guest room, it was probably an office before the Barber’s moved in, but Andy had taken the spacious room full of windows downstairs as his workspace.
Your heart was pounding with each step closer. You could tell he was nervous about something too; he was squeezing your hand so tight.
He pulled you in front of him a few feet in front of the door, one arm snaking around your waist, the other coming up to your jaw to tilt your head back. “Because you’re my gorgeous little girl and I wanted to spoil the hell out of you.”
You hummed. “You like spending money on me, that’s kinda sick.”
He arched an eyebrow. “On the list of all the things I want to do to you, it’s not even in the top 20.”
You smirked. “What’s number one?”
Trying to stop his smile, he rolled his eyes and kissed your forehead. “You’ll find out soon enough. Focus.” He reached for the door and you turned forward again.
Immediately, you were shocked by what was in front of you. Everything was so pink. There was so much—the huge bed covered in fluffy blankets and pillows, the dresser that had a boxed vibrator on top of it, the bedside tables, the lamps, the huge mirror over the dresser and then the one on the wall across the bed.
“Andy
”
He pulled your hair back on one side, leaning over to get a better look at your face. “What is it, princess?”
You stepped away from him, still in awe. No, this had to be a fever dream—he could not have done all of this for you! “This is too much
I can’t
”
“This isn’t even all of it.”
You turned back to find him looking rather amused. “What have you done?”
He shrugged. “Look around a bit. It’s your room, you know.”
You quickly leaned over the nearest bedside table and yanked open the drawer, it contained several boxes of small plugs, all soft pastel shades, or gold and bejeweled. Who needed this many? No one, but it was clear that nothing, in Andy’s mind, was too much for you.
You chose to ignore the locked chest at the end of the bed as you marched to the opposite bedside dresser. A pair of handcuffs, silk ties, and ropes—because evidently, he liked variety.
Next, the dresser caught your attention. Most drawers contained panties and bralettes in so many colors, save for the top drawer. Now, the top drawer, that was where things got interesting. Several questionable things were there but the most notable was the gag.
You picked it up, turning back to him with an arched eyebrow.
“Well, you’re not exactly quiet.”
You scoffed, turning back to toss the gag back in its place. “You’re crazy.”
“Crazy about you, baby.”
You turned back, fully intending to tell him how lame you found that line. Instead, you noticed the closet. You stared at it for a mere second before you shot him a pleading look. No, not that.
“Maybe you should hold off on that.”
Oh, god. You rushed forward and yanked the door open, mouth instantly dropping. Color-coordinated, lace, leather, sheer, tiny, short—all beautiful lingerie that you fell in love with. “Andy.”
“It’s not a big—”
“When did you start doing all of this?”
“The morning after you said yes.”
Again, your stomach flipped. You were more than just flattered, you were elated, relieved. This wasn’t all in your head, this wasn’t a relationship that you completely built up on your own. No one had ever cared about you this much or put as much effort into you. “I don’t know what to say.”
He nodded you closer and held his out to you, waiting until you made your way to him and took it in both of yours. “I only need to hear you say one thing.”
“Which is?”
His free hand came up to your face. “Do you want this, right now?”
You wanted to have sex with him, you knew that. But right now? That was a much more complex question to answer. This decision had the potential to change everything, and you’d just gotten closer to him. You didn’t want to lose that so quickly.
“I can wait,” he promised. “I’ve been waiting
I’ll wait until you know you’re ready.”
“I know I want this, I’m just
scared.”
“Scared? Of me?”
“No, not you
 We can’t undo this, Andy.”
“I know.”
“And have you thought about what that means? Have you thought about if someone finds out—”
“No one is gonna find out.”
“Let’s say they do.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
“If it does,” you repeated firmly. “Then what? Then this is just done, I never see you or hear from you again?”
“No. I am obsessed with you—”
“I like you,” you admitted. “I don’t want to fuck you and then just
stop.”
“That will not happen.”
You rolled your eyes. “You say that, but—”
“I mean it. I don’t want to alarm you, baby doll, but did you think you had a choice? Did you think that I was ever going to stop trying to get you to say yes to this?”
You scoffed. “No, but what if I hadn’t?”
He let his hands slide down until they reached your hips, smirking at the way you shivered. He spun you around, arms circling your waist, mouth level with your ear. “I would have taken you.”
You shook your head. “No, I’m being serious.”
“So am I,” he promised. “Dead serious. I would have brought you back here,” he started moving you toward the side of the bed, “I would have tied you up, gagged you—”
“Stop it,” you halfheartedly scolded. “That’s not funny.”
“No, that’s desperation, and I am very desperate for you.” He pressed himself against you. “Can you feel how desperate, baby girl?”
You could feel his cock against you—this was happening. You wanted it, he wanted it, and neither of you were strong enough to think about the consequences anymore.
He twirled you back to him, taking your arms in his hands. “Say yes.”
“Yes,” you replied instantly.
He indelicately shoved you onto the bed and you gasped a little, then he was over you in a second. His forearms pressed to the bed at either side of your head, his hips pressing down on your thighs, the heat from his body threatening to burn you. “What’s my name, princess?”
“Daddy.”
He hummed. “Don’t make me remind you again.”
You nodded.
He took that time to stare at your body, your weak, completely pliant body. “What am I going to do with you?”
“You should fuck me.”
He glanced up at you, curious to see how much further you were going to go.
“You should fuck your little girl, daddy.”
His eyes darkened—a guilty pleasure he had. A reminder that you were so little compared to him, not in physical size, but in every way. That was why he was your daddy. It got him off knowing how happily you admitted your submission to him.
At first, you weren’t into it as much as him—only when you were unfathomably horny. You came around after he talked about what it was that made you his little girl. It was because he adored you so god damn much. It was because he would do anything for you, anything to touch you, taste you, fuck you—all you had to do was ask, he’d give you the world. It was because you belonged to him, and he would certainly make you happy if you let him. Despite its meaning, its actual definition, it made you feel powerful, in control.
Yes, maybe you were little. Maybe Andy was big—huge, his presence, his reputation, even his name, but he wanted you. He felt something for you. You made him weak, you made him feel desire he’d never felt, not for his wife, not for anyone. You made his life exciting again, you reminded him what lust, infatuation, mind-numbing need, and aching, burning passion felt like.
“Oh, my little girl?” he teased, not bothering to hide how happy he was. “You gonna be my good little girl today?”
You nodded.
He stood up then, pulling his shirt off. He tried to hide his smirk as you rose onto your elbows, eyes trailing down his torso to where his hands were working his pants down. Once he was naked before you, he could see how badly you wanted his cock. No one else had ever been so desperate for him, he could see on your face just how badly you wanted him to ruin you.
He got on his knees before you, tsking when you went to sit up. “You wore what I wanted you to wear.”
“Yes, daddy.”
“I think that deserves a reward.” He draped one of your legs over his back at a time, then he shoved your skirt upward. He took your hands, linking his fingers between yours, and your heart started pounding.
He pressed a gentle kiss to your pussy and your back instantly arched. He did so again and again, sometimes pulling away completely to pay attention to your inner thighs. You had no idea how long he was teasing you for, you just knew that your pussy was soaking, you could smell your arousal, your skin burned everywhere that he touched you, your hips were shaking, squirming, bucking with need.
When he finally let his tongue slide along your folds, the breath was stolen right out of your lungs. Your body arched uncomfortably, a sob caught in your throat. You didn’t move due to the illogical fear that somehow this feeling would disappear.
His tongue moved through you loudly, only possible because he had gotten you so wet. Your cheeks burned at some of the sounds that filled the room, so filthy, so telling. He would moan and sigh and suck on your skin as he hummed, all to let you know he was enjoying every second of your pussy.
You didn’t want to hurt him, you were mindful of your heels and you didn’t press them into his back. You spread your thighs wider every time you were concerned you would close them on him. You couldn’t tear at the sheets or his hair because he was holding your hands. All that you were managing were small whimpers. You needed something, you needed to hold something, scream, do anything, but you couldn’t.
You started to shake the closer you got, your entire body just trembling with pure yearning. Andy’s eyes flickered up as he took your clit with his lips and sucked relentlessly. Your breaths were short and shaky, getting caught in your chest, barely making sound at all.
Still, most of the noise was from his mouth on your soaking core. He was so obscene about it, it was the only way he knew how to humiliate you, to remind you he was in charge. He needed you to know that he knew how badly you wanted him, there was no hiding. Not anymore, not in this room, not while the two of you were completely alone.
A scream that did not sound like your own tore from your throat when you were coming. Your hips bucked and all he did was make sure to keep sucking on your clit. He let you ride out your high, using his face until you fell limp against the bed.
Only, in typical Andy style, he didn’t stop. He continued to lick and suck at your skin greedily, as if you were his favorite fucking desert. Your body was spasming from the aftershocks every time he pressed his tongue up forcefully and then circled your clit, whimpers becoming much whinier, breathier. He didn’t care, he simply kept going, eyes trained on your face because he wanted to see you fall apart again.
You propped back up on your elbows again. You wanted to see his face, his eyes, but mostly, you wanted to watch his mouth working against your cunt. You could always anticipate what was going to happen, you knew when his beard would brush against you, you knew when he was going to lick or suck, you knew where because you could see it but that never prepared you for a second of how it felt.
You bit down on your lip as you felt his tongue run down, just barely pressing into your entrance. Fuck. “Daddy,” you gasped, surprised by how good it felt.
He groaned softly and you mewled for him. “You taste so good, princess.”
“Daddy, please make me come.”
He hummed. “Again?”
You nodded fast.
“You already want another one?” he teased. “You have the greediest pussy, baby.”
“You gonna be able to keep up with me, daddy?”
He scoffed. “I suppose we’ll see.”
Your body was trembling all over again as you felt his tongue dipping into you, curling to gather all that was dripping out of you from your first orgasm. Your hips erratically jerked up for more, silently pleading for him to make you finish. Of course, Andy kept you there for as long as he could.
He was watching the way your body moved as he kept sliding his tongue inside you. He found your taste sweet and soft, no surprise there, because you were his sweet and soft little girl that he was going to tear apart tonight until you were this greedy, pathetic little thing.
His lips slid up roughly, locating your clit in no time at all. When he pulled on your skin, sucking noisily, you started unraveling again. You writhed around on the bed, unable to get away from him with the back of your knees catching on his shoulders.
“Daddy,” you sobbed. “Fuck, daddy!”
He remained there, uncaring that you were wrecked, overstimulated. Through your whimpers and pleas, he continued focusing only on your clit, unrelenting, cruel, smug. He knew exactly what he was doing.
You just felt pressure, building and building in your core as the seconds ticked by. It was nothing short of agonizing, all the swipes of his tongue, his beard, his lips latched onto your clit. Every touch hurt, it was simply too much for you, but it was a burn that you loved every moment of.
Your body moved without permission from your brain. Your hips jumped off the bed, your back arched, your elbows dug into the mattress, you yanked your thighs further apart. You couldn’t take much more—your brain knew that, but your body just wanted and wanted.
Every touch from Andy sparked something in your brain, a part that needed him so deeply and then was utterly, thoroughly satisfied. It was addiction being fed, a match being lit, a shock just coursing through your body until you were coming once again.
After running his tongue up and down a few times, just to get the taste of you, he turned his head and began to kiss your thigh. He waited until you were limp on the mattress before switching legs. “Baby?”
You knew he called out to you, but your mind was all hazy and scattered. It took you several long moments before you could respond. “Yeah?”
“I’m starting to lose feeling in my hands.”
At that moment, you realized how tightly you were holding him. You yanked your hands away immediately. “Oh, I’m sorry!”
He chuckled, laying on his side on the bed next to you.
You remained on your back but turned your head to him. His jaw and beard were wet and you’d never seen him look as happy as he did right then.
He arched an eyebrow at you. “You good, sweetheart?”
“Yeah. Can I taste you, daddy?”
He touched your cheek and you nuzzled your face into his palm. “Not right now, baby girl. I’m gonna finish inside you because I have been waiting for months to be able to.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
He gave you a look. “I’m taking it easy on you, don’t start getting mouthy.”
Finally, you turned onto your side. You just wanted to feel him, you pressed your palms to his chest and dragged them down his stomach. He was built like a fucking wall and that was one of the many reasons you felt safe with Andy. He was so strong, strong enough to hold you down and fuck you until you couldn’t remember your name.
He took your shoulder in his hand and pressed you down as he got back onto his feet. He returned to his position on his knees and you just barely stopped yourself from pleading with him not to eat you out again—you couldn’t take another one of those, but he would if you let him know that.
He started with your shoes, carefully, touching you like you were a vase, he slipped them off and let them noisily clatter to the floor. He grabbed the top of one of your socks and began kissing his way down until he pulled it off your foot. One last kiss was set to your ankle before he repeated his actions to your other leg.
You sat up for him and he stood from between your legs. He took the bottom of your sweater and you lifted your arms when he needed you to. For a moment, he just stared at you, then his eyes met yours as he took one of your breasts in his mouth.
You gasped and reached back, both hands pressed to the bed and fisting the sheets. You stared at one another as he sucked roughly enough to leave a mark, and then did so again to your other breast. He scattered wet kisses everywhere, your chest, down over your rib cage, your stomach, until he was at the hem of your skirt.
“You still good?”
“I just need you inside me, we’ve waited so long.”
He found the zipper on the side of your skirt and pulled it down slowly, almost like he was waiting for you to back out.
You used your elbows for balance and lifted your hips when he pulled the garment down.
He leaned over you, hands on the bed. “Just one more time,” he muttered. “I just need to hear it again.”
“I want you right now,” you promised. You weren’t nervous, not in the ways you thought you’d be. You saw a million and one promises in his eyes, you knew he wouldn’t let you down. Not here, not ever.
“Okay.” He kissed you briefly before settling in the bed. You watched his cock move as he laid flat on his back. He was hard, dripping with precum and your pussy was aching at the thought of being filled by him. “Come here.”
You rolled over onto your hands and knees to climb over him. You pressed his cock down to his stomach with your hand and set your soaking cunt along his shaft. You sighed, reveling in the feel of him.
His hands shot out to grab your hips as he sighed. “Fuck, baby.”
“Daddy, your cock feels so good.” You rolled your hips back and forth, wet noises, your whimpers, his heavy breaths, until he held you tight and made you stop. You set your hands to his stomach, eyes lingering on all the muscle there.
“Don’t tease, angel.”
“Or what?”
He gave you a warning look.
Smirking, you slid one hand and took his cock. With your gaze locked in his, you lined yourself up with him.
“Take it slow, baby.”
You were nervous now, worried about the pain a little, but mostly that you wouldn’t be able to take him all night like he so clearly intended. The head of his cock was against you and you had to press down hard to get him so slightly inside you. The immediate sting made you gasp.
“Fuck!” he hissed. His thumbs rubbed over your hip bones encouragingly. “You’re doing great, take your time.”
You took slow, measured breaths until it stopped hurting so much, then you took more of him. You ached, your skin burned, but you wouldn’t be satisfied until he was completely inside you.
“Fuck,” he repeated, gorgeous blue eyes staring up at you. He let one hand fall to press his fingertips to your clit.
You whimpered, “Daddy.”
“Come on, princess, just a little more. I can feel you dripping down my cock, you can take it.” He brushed his fingers back and forth over you, not intending to make you come, but to get you wetter.
You forced yourself down until you were sure you couldn’t take more, a scream catching in your throat at the immediate pain. You stopped to get used to the feel and he added more pressure, shorter, faster, more deliberate movements over your clit. Your head fell back as you felt that familiar coiling sensation. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chanted, voice barely above a whisper.
“You’re doing good,” he promised. “So good, because you’re my good girl, aren’t you?”
You hummed, nodding.
“Mhm, and you’re gonna keep going?”
“Yes, daddy.” You clamped your mouth shut, closed your eyes, and held your breath and you moved further down.
“Fuck, you have the tightest pussy.”
You let out a breathy laugh. “I am sure that you can say that to all the girls.”
His voice was rough, deeper than usual, an indication of how much strain was being put on him to stay controlled, to not just yank you down and fuck you senseless. “It’s okay, baby doll, you’re almost there. Come on, a little more.”
Instead, you pulled back and then slid right back down. Your eyes rolled back, filling with hot tears at the blissful but sharp sensation.
His fingers pressed down unbearably into your hip bone. “Remember back when I was trying to get you to come back?”
You didn’t say anything because you knew he would finish speaking regardless. You focused on his cock, relishing the feel, the veins, the heat of his body, but also concerned because was he going to fit? You were too scared to look at your progress, so you blindly kept slipping down.
“And remember how you tried to say your boyfriend was bigger?”
“I don’t think I recall,” you managed.
“Sure,” he scoffed, “Because then you would have to admit what an insolent little brat you are.”
You laughed shortly, a shaky, breathy sound deep from your chest. In pain or not, Andy was still hilarious to push around, not that he much let you. You turned your attention down, finding that he was staring at the place you two were connected. “Oh, I’m insolent?”
He nodded once. “I’ll have to teach you some manners before summer’s over.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”
He lifted his hand from your cunt and grabbed your jaw. Instead of letting him communicate whatever half-hearted threat he thought up, you took his wrist and pulled it up. When you could, when they were in your reach, you swallowed two of his fingers.
He groaned. “God damn it, I’m about to throw you down and fuck you so hard, sweetheart, until you’re crying and begging me to stop.”
You moaned loudly around his fingers. Was that his idea of a punishment?
“Don’t stop now, babe, come on.”
Against your better judgment, you looked. You saw that you were halfway down, yet felt so impossibly, completely full, and noticed that you were, in fact, dripping down his length. You made another sound, sucking on his fingers to distract you from the next sting as you deliberately went down, down, down until you were seated on his thighs.
He pulled his hand from your mouth to grasp your other hip. “Shit.”
Whimpering, you slid your hands upward until you were lying flat on his chest, trying to stay as still as possible until you accommodated his size. Your soft body was resting over his sculpted figure. Your breasts against his firm chest, your stomach against those abs, inner thighs pressed to the outsides of his. “Oh, god, daddy. You’re so fucking big.”
One hand came up to the back of your head and he held you there. “You’re such a good girl, you know that?”
You nodded a little.
His other arm looped around your back, pinning you down. He rocked his hips forward just once, just barely, but it brushed the right spot and made you mewl for him. “You okay?”
You nodded, nearly frantic. “I’m okay. Do it again, fuck me, daddy.”
“I’m gonna sit up, okay?”
You were confused by that but moved when he did, wrapping your legs around him when he was in reach. It widened your hips and he managed to get in a little deeper. You stared at him, touching his face, feeling over his cheekbones, his lips. How could one person be so beautiful? Part of you wanted to hate him. You never had a chance at saying no, not when there was a man that looked like this that wanted you the way he did.
“Are you still okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured.
He took your hips in his hand and pulled you off until you were just about at the head of his cock. Then, he thrust in and pulled you down, gaining a surprised but satisfied moan from you.
“Daddy, please,” you begged, “keep doing that.” You were so wet and your mind was so hazy, you were almost certain you would go insane with need before he made you come. How you two had even held out this long was a miracle.
He did as you asked, several more times, all slow and careful movements that were certainly not meant to make you come. You could see that enjoyment in his eyes as you stared at him, still admiring his face. He was teasing you, but were you honestly going to do anything about it? Well, you could whine a bit.
“Daddy,” you muttered, “I need to come. Please, please just fuck me.”
He hummed as if he hasn’t already made up his mind. “I don’t know
”
“Please, I’ll be so good all summer, I swear.”
He snorted. “I highly doubt your ability to be good for extended periods of time.”
“I will,” you insisted, voice weak, much to his amusement. “Daddy, I’ve wanted this for months. I can’t wait anymore, please.”
He gave you this searing, agonizingly slow kiss, all tongue and lips and teeth, and didn’t pull away until you were breathless and your lips were swollen.
Once more, he used his hold on your hips to control the pace and pressure. Each time you were brought back down on his cock, he was hitting this mind-numbing spot that always made you gasp and moan as more tears threatened to spill from your eyes.
You were still aching, but that was secondary to how badly you needed this man to make you finish. You wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to his shoulders. You didn’t much care for this dynamic—you, in this blissful place where he nearly had you crying and coming, but him, controlled and quiet.
You squeezed your cunt around him as he faltered in dragging you down his cock. And there it was. Your advantage. He continued to push and pull with his hold on your hips and when you could, you used your pussy to grip him tighter.
Your first orgasm happened unexpectedly. You were still aching, still stretched a little too much, you thought it would be possible, but one more forceful thrust of his hips and it was triggered. “Daddy, fuck, I’m coming!” Your nails pinched down on his skin, trying to get him closer, but also trying to get relief in any way you could.
“Yeah?” he cooed, still fucking into you with evident determination. The sounds coming from him were short, you felt them start in his chest, they would come out quiet—he still hadn’t lost that remarkable restraint, but he would. “My little girl’s gonna come?”
You nodded quickly, “daddy, please. Please let me come.”
“You can come, baby. You can come on daddy’s cock.”
You cried out sharply, frustrated by how close you were. It still felt out of your reach, impossible to get, but then it happened. It was one last hit to the spot inside you that no one else had ever found, your vision went white for several seconds, your entire body briefly tightened everywhere, and then you just exploded. His hold on you loosened, allowing you to take some of the lead and you used the next several minutes to keep your body moving, hips stuttering and your cunt struggling to take him.
You were shaking again, your entire body, fucked out, exhausted, but still wanting.
“Look at the mess you made, princess.”
You turned down, mindlessly obedient after what he’d just made you feel. His stomach was wet, the part of his cock that you could see was covered in you. You weren’t surprised, you felt like a dam had broken inside you.
“Did daddy make you feel good, baby?”
You looked back up at him and nodded.
“Do you need a minute?”
“No,” you shook your head, “I need you to come inside me.”
He tossed you down on the mattress, situating his body over you. He found leverage on his knees and discovered that he could fuck you sufficiently from this position. Relentlessly, his large hands keeping your lower half pinned to the mattress, his hips began snapping up. They were desperate, almost panicked. He was close and he needed to use you hard and fast.
Those soaking wet noises from your pussy grew louder as his hips jerked up, only covered by your screams. You latched onto him, arms locked around his shoulders, keeping him as close as humanly possible.
“Can you give daddy another orgasm?” he asked. “Hmm? I want to feel you coming when I do. Can you do that for me, beautiful?”
You were nodding without giving the question much thought. You would do, or at least try to do, anything that he asked. You started to angle your hips as he thrust in, clit brushing against some part of his skin. You were close around the same time he was, you noticed his shorter hip movements, more powerful snaps, a tighter grasp where you knew bruises would form by the time you woke up the next day.
He set his face in the bend of your neck, open lips against your shoulders. You felt all his heavy breaths, the grunts, the cursing.
Again, you pointedly clenched around his cock and his hips slowed for a mere second. When he was moving again, he was coming. You felt him spill into your cunt and with only a few more brushes against you, you were coming. Neither of you stopped moving despite having reached what you wanted, because, in reality, you both wanted so much more.
You both wanted seclusion, the house to yourselves, the whole summer vacation to do a whole lot more of this. All of it was yours and you knew there was a world outside, but right there with Andy, it seemed like nothing else existed. It was just moans and groans and cries, grabbing one another as hard as possible.
Once he rode out his high, he rolled over to let you on top once again. You laid yourself out flat on top of his body and he hugged you to him, scattering kisses on the top of your head. Abruptly, he took your jaw and angled your face so you were staring at him. “Tell me right now that you have never been fucked that good.”
“I haven’t,” you assured, “Never.” You meant it, there was no one who ever made you scream as much as Andy had. Now that you were coming back down to earth, your throat was raw, lips swollen, breasts still wet from his mouth, body covered in the thinnest layer of sweat.
He smirked. “Good girl.”
Your body was spent, exhaustion you had never felt before, but you still craved him, you still wanted to take. Andy’s cock remained buried inside you because he wanted you to know when he was ready for more, he wanted you fully anticipating when he was going to be fucking you again.
You felt him soft, felt his cum dripping out of your cunt. Then you felt him grow harder as his hands roamed every inch of your body for what could have been hours. He started with your ass, admiring the curve, then your waist for the same reason.
His hand grabbed a handful of your hair and he yanked your head back so far that your chest started to lift just a little. There, he took one of your nipples between the fingers of his opposite hand and squeezed.
Your mouth dropped and you released a shuddering breath. “Daddy.”
He moved onto the next, pinching just as roughly until a soft plea spilled from your mouth. Once you begged him—for nothing in particular, just a chanting of ‘please, please, please—he let you go and pulled you back down for a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss that made your toes curl and your body heat up.
He only pulled away because he was hard again. The dark, demanding look he gave you should have terrified you. He was going to reduce you to nothing, pull you apart, absolutely deconstruct everything you were, everything you knew.
“You ready for another round, sweetheart?” he didn’t give you the time to answer, instead, he rolled over yet again to lay you out beneath him. His cock still inside you, he created just enough space between the two of you that he could press his fingers down on your pussy, searching for your clit. When your mouth dropped, two fingers from his other hand were shoved inside until you were choking on them.
“After I’m done with you, you’re never going to be able to fuck another man,” he asserted. “Not your boyfriend, not anyone else. No one is going to give it to you as good as I am. No one else is gonna be this rough, this sick, not enough for how desperate and greedy you are. You, baby doll, are officially, completely mine.”
requests to be tagged: @onetwo3000​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ @donutloverxo​ @kleohoneyao3​ @evansislife​ @ilovetheeagles​
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lovelyirony · 4 years ago
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@rhodee for you
When Tony had gotten back from Siberia, he hadn’t been able to see anyone for a long time. 
But people had been to see him. 
He wasn’t expecting Rhodey to come and see him for a variety of medically-related reasons, but he was hoping for an email or a phone call, at least a message about Tony being a “dumbass.” 
And then he asked Pepper how Rhodey was doing, and she tenses up. 
Pepper has never been a good liar to Tony, not since they got drunk together for the first time and she told him every single tell she had for lying. They could never hide from each other after that. 
“He’s...knocked out, still.” 
Tony raises his eyebrows. 
“So, he’s not knocked out, something happened to him.” 
“Tony, he...he doesn’t remember.” 
“What, the fall? I wish I couldn’t remember that either, but I’m betting that that’s not what you’re talking about.” 
“He doesn’t remember any of us. He doesn’t remember anything except for his freshman year of college. All of this information is...overwhelming for him.” 
Tony freezes. 
He and Rhodey didn’t live together freshman year. Hell, they didn’t even know each other freshman year. They became sort-of-friends near the beginning of sophomore year, and that meant... 
Oh god.
Rhodey wouldn’t remember three important things: 
1.) He’s bisexual.
2.) He’s an accomplished man who has achieved much in his lifetime and has grown comfortable with himself with years of help.
3.) He married Tony. They’re married. 
For a long time, Rhodey didn’t really want to admit that he liked guys. It wasn’t something he ever talked about, nothing he ever wanted to discuss. He didn’t mind that Tony had an attraction to men, but he always seemed to put himself at a distance when Tony brought someone over for dinner or a study session. 
Rhodey didn’t want to come to terms with it at first. He was very adamant that he would marry a nice girl and settle down, and Tony hadn’t contested it, hadn’t challenged him on it. That could have very well been the situation. 
It wasn’t until the end of sophomore year--into the summer, actually--that Rhodey even wanted to tempt to talk about what attraction would even mean for him. 
They had gotten together senior year, and Tony has a picture framed in their bedroom of Tony dipping Rhodey into a kiss (and dropping him after the picture was taken) after graduation. 
“They had to take off his wedding ring for the surgery, but I wasn’t sure what to tell him. The doctors said to avoid bringing up any information that would surprise them, and I remember that you talked about it once...” 
“Yeah,” Tony says thickly, his chest hurting from more than just a frisbee-toss gone wrong. “Okay. Yeah. Let’s, uh...let’s just transfer him over to the headquarters. I’ll just...I’ll figure something out.” 
He can’t tell Rhodey he has a husband. He can’t. The reaction alone would be terrible, if he’s knowing what he knows. 
-
So he doesn’t. 
Tony welcomes Rhodey into the compound after taking down every single romantic photo, briefing everyone who still lived there that Rhodey had lost his memory, and praying to whoever would listen that Rhodey didn’t find out until he was comfortable with it. 
“I don’t go by Rhodey,” was the first thing off of his lips. Not a hello, not a smile. “I go by Jim.” 
“Right,” Tony says, smiling in that flashy way that Rhodey usually told him to stop, because it creeped him out because he knew what that smile was actually all about. “Jim. Nice to see you back.” 
“I wish I could say the same, but I’m not exactly sure I remember you. Your face looks really familiar, though.” 
“Well, that’s what nearly twenty-five years of knowledge can do to somebody,” Tony says quickly. “Let me show you to your room. Sorry about the lack of decorations, we didn’t really want to overwhelm you with anything.” 
“I’m fine,” Rhodey says, clearly annoyed. “It’s just weird knowing that I’m way fucking older and apparently I graduated college and managed to make something of myself and I can’t remember any of it.” 
“I can’t say I understand, but I can say that it sucks,” Tony says. “But, lucky for you, I kept some of your stuff.” 
“A friend kept my stuff?” Rhodey asks. “Why?” 
“Because I’m annoying and you pretend like you hate me, when I am the best thing that happened to you,” Tony says, smiling. 
He then turns when he can see Rhodey’s--Jim’s--expression turn sour. 
“Ah, anyway,” Tony says hurriedly. “You just...keep stuff sometimes.” 
(He’s not going to mention that it’s because they shared an apartment. Or a house. Or a room. Or, on occasion, a bank account.) 
“Dinner is gonna be at seven, feel free to come down,” Tony says, smile wearing thin. 
- 
Jim doesn’t come down. 
Or he did, but he came down early. 
Because he doesn’t want anything to do with Tony. 
“It’ll just take time,” Pepper tells Tony over the phone. “Give him some space.” 
So Tony does. 
But it’s hard giving your amnesiac husband space when you’ve never done it before, not really. 
Tony has always been around Rhodey, always been invading and crawling into his space, and Rhodey really only complained when Tony’s hands would sneak around his chest when the nights were dark and cold. 
Now they’re at a distance, and Tony doesn’t know how to bring up any facts about their life. 
So far, all Jim’s been doing is catching up on history. 
“We fought Captain America?” he asks, gaping at the article about finding Captain Rogers in an iceberg. “Why?” 
“He likes putting his foot in his mouth a lot.” Tony says. “And both sides have been notoriously bad at keeping their cool.” 
“Oh. So we just...I  fought him? Because I’m just friends with you?” 
“Yeah,” Tony says, quite uncomfortable with the insertion of the word “just” in that sentence. 
“...weird.” 
“The future’s crazy, honey-bear.” 
Jim looks up. 
“Why do you call me that?” 
“Call you what?” 
“Honey-bear. It’s weird.” 
“Inside joke we have,” Tony says, chest tightening. “We thought those couples that have the lovey-dovey nicknames were ridiculous.” 
“Oh. Gross.” 
“Yeah, it is,” Tony says. “But kinda funny. One time you called me ‘sugar-tits’.” 
Jim laughs at that one. 
“Oh god, that’s...rough. What else did I call you?” 
Baby. Honey. Love of my life. Darling. 
“Uh...” Tony says, pretending to think. “I think love-muffin was also an option.” 
Jim throws back his head and laughs. 
“How did we...how did we become friends?” 
“Well, it all started with a dining hall and you trying to steal an entire painting without getting caught, and my valiant rescue...” 
“Why do I get the feeling that that’s not true?” 
“Because it isn’t,” Tony grins. “Just making sure your bullshit-detector is working again. It is. We met because we weren’t supposed to be roommates but they fucked up and the rooms filled up, so you dealt with me as best you could.” 
“Oh,” Jim says. “What do we do for fun?”
Go on date nights. Talk about how stupid we were as kids. Debate who asked out who. Cook together. 
“Uh, we used to...shoot hoops.” 
“You don’t seem like a basketball kinda guy,” Jim says. 
“Oh believe me, I wasn’t,” Tony responds with a laugh, “but you were, and you always liked kicking my ass on the court.” 
“Good to know that I can still probably do that,” Jim says, smug and self-satisfied. “Hey, where did Pepper go?” 
“Oh, she’s busy with a contract this week, what do you need?” 
Jim puts his hand on the back of his neck in that nervous habit he always got (that Tony only knew about because every single time he would walk into the room after he realized he liked him in that way, Rhodey would do that). 
“Um, just want to ask her something. About my life.” 
And Tony can’t breathe. 
He doesn’t know and that’s...that’s everything. 
“She’ll be back for dinner,” Tony says. “In the mean time, I’ll be in the lab working on some stuff, feel free to do whatever.” 
“Thanks, man.” 
- 
Pepper stares at Jim, who for so long has been one of her best friends and is now asking if he had anyone who he was involved with romantically. 
“You...what?” 
“Did I have a girlfriend or anything?” Jim asks. “Because, um, it’s going to kind of suck if I didn’t.” 
“You had a girlfriend sophomore year,” she answers carefully. “That lasted for about three months or something. You’d have to ask Tony more about it, he knows more about you than I do.” 
“And you said we’re...friends? We didn’t date?”
“Yeah, we are friends, no we didn’t date,” Pepper says. “We get lunch on Thursdays if you’re in town.” 
“I’m in the army, right?” 
“About to retire, too,” Pepper says with a grin. “You were really happy, you were planning on taking Tony on a trip.” 
“I was?” Jim asks, frowning. “We’re...that close?” 
“Well yeah, you’re-” Pepper pauses for a moment. “You’re best friends. You always like spending time with Tony.” 
“Oh,” Jim says. “Okay.” 
He knows that they’re lying to him. He gets why: if he learns too much, it could cause some sort of damage. And according to Friday, “Colonel Platypus” (whatever the fuck that means) keeps his personal life intensely private. 
He doesn’t know why he’s done that. Why he’s kept everything so private. It’s not because of his military status, he thinks. Unless, of course, they put him on all sorts of secret projects. That could definitely be a thing. 
Tony keeps almost calling him Rhodey. It’s a weird nickname. He doesn’t know why he apparently loves it. It sounds...stupid. Weird. Jim works just fine. 
Pepper also said they were just friends. And she sounds like she means it. And Tony says they’re just friends, but he doesn’t sound like he means it. 
But that doesn’t mean...? 
No. Of course not. There would be pictures and rings and all of that sappy, gross shit that comes with weddings. 
...would there be? 
“Hey Friday?” he asks. 
“Yes, Colonel Rhodes?” 
“Um. Is gay marriage legal?” 
“Yes, Colonel Rhodes, it is. Would you like further articles about the decision?” 
“Uh...sure. I guess.” 
He keeps reading articles (with reading glasses) and learns a lot about what’s been going on. 
He’s just interested, obviously. In current events. 
- 
It’s a week later when he asks Tony about it. 
“So...did you remember the whole legalization of gay marriage thing?” he asks Tony, who pauses at his coffee. “I, um. Read an article where they said you were bi, so I wasn’t sure if you-” 
“No, I am,” Tony says. “I remember it really well. I celebrated well that day.” 
he grinned as he looked at Rhodey, and swore to rent out the entire metropolitan museum of art, just for him. he would do anything for him, anything at all-
Jim looks at him. 
“What did you do to celebrate?” 
“Well, there were quite a lot of people at gay bars. We danced. I drank a glass of champagne. And then we danced again.” 
“Someone was with me?” 
“You were,” Tony says. “You were here when it happened, and it was...it was a good day for us.” 
“I’m not gay though,” Jim says with a frown. 
“Doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate,” Tony says, eyes holding something in them that makes him look like he might cry. “Some people’s triumph can be a momentous occasion.” 
It can the occasion where your marriage is finally recognized everywhere. It’s where you get the iconic photo of mashing cake in your partner’s face, and all of the guests are grinning and you’re happy, and--
Tony shakes himself out of that train of thought. 
“Yeah, I guess,” Jim says. “Just...please tell me that you didn’t get any embarrassing pictures.” 
“Oh I did,” Tony replies, grinning maniacally. “Would you like to see yourself in a feather boa or a flamingo floatie?” 
“Oh my god,” Jim moans, throwing his hands to the dinner table. “No...” 
“You looked a dream, gorgeous,” Tony teases. “And I have the pictures to prove it. I’ll get them out another time, I promised Dum-E that I’d help him pick up his mess.” 
“Who is he?” 
Tony grins. 
“He’s our baby, metaphorically speaking. We built him on a half-drunk, half-dare kind of situation,” Tony says. “He’s a disaster.” 
Jim thinks about it for a moment. “Can I...can I meet him?” 
-
Dum-E hasn’t seen his dad in forever. He’s wheeling around Rhodey, beeping and nearly running over his feet. 
“Great, your return has pushed back any build-up coordination training we did,” Tony scolds, although his tone doesn’t sound serious at all. “Dum-E, your father and I agreed to help clean, although methinks that Jim will be a great surveyor for us.” 
“What’d you spill?” Jim asks. 
“Couple of glass stuff,” Tony says. “He’s been really into stained glass recently, I think he was trying to make his own.” 
“He can think?” 
“Yeah,” Tony says. “His coding, by the way, was like sixty percent you. That’s why he’s so damned stubborn and also why he puts motor oil into smoothies, genius.” 
“Hey, that most definitely was you,” Jim says. “You didn’t grocery shop that day, so I was weak and malnourished.” 
Tony stills. 
“You...remember that?” 
Jim pauses for a moment. 
“You...you were supposed to go grocery shopping and I made a list,” he says, smiling fondly. “And you didn’t take the list because you said you had an eidetic memory, but you still forgot the lemons, so I don’t believe you.” 
Tony throws back his head and laughs. 
“Glad to have a memory for you, Rho-Jim. You want a glass of water or anything?” 
“Water sounds fine.” 
Jim watches as Tony works around Dum-E, obviously used to his quirks and mannerisms as he banters and threatens with nothing backing up that threat. 
He smiles as he wheels himself over, grabbing a dust pan on his way over. 
“Figured we’ll need this,” he offers. Tony accepts it with a smile. 
“Thanks Jim.” 
“You can-you can call me Rhodey. If you want.” 
Tony looks at him for a moment. 
“But is that what you want?” 
Jim pauses. 
“Yes. For now.” 
“Okay,” Tony says, smiling. He’s not showing how fucking happy he is, how ready he is to leap for the moon and bring stardust down on his way home. “Thank you.” 
Jim nods. 
“I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.” 
“Have a goodnight, Jim. Let me know if you need anything.” 
-
He lies awake in bed that night. 
“Hey, Friday?” 
“Yes, Boss?” 
“I...I’m not being told everything, am I?” 
“Information can potentially be triggering to the current state you are in, Colonel Rhodes.” 
“Are you being paid to say that?” 
“I don’t get paid,” Friday says. “Although if I did, I would not want to take the money.” 
“So I am missing something,” Rhodey says. “I just...I don’t know what.” 
“It will come with time, Colonel Rhodes.” 
“And if it doesn’t? If I have to relive life all over again?” He asks, growing agitated. “If my memory doesn’t come back, Friday...I’m not sure they’ll ever tell me anything.” 
“It is already a good sign that you remembered Dum-E. He was missing you quite terribly.” 
“Can I...can you show me a picture of me with him?” 
“Sure thing, Boss.” 
- 
Rhodey has a sharp intake of breath. 
Right there. 
Right on his left hand. 
A wedding ring. 
And then he looks at Tony, Tony who is looking fondly as Rhodey and Dum-E are reenacting some stupid thing, and there’s a-
A ring. 
On the left hand. 
That wasn’t there before. 
Shit. 
267 notes · View notes
lieuwrites · 4 years ago
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A Story Told In Gems | Hwang Hyunjin | Oneshot
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Title: A Story Told in Gems
Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader
Synopsis: Star tears (tears of unrequited love) have different qualities and minerals which can change the colour of the tears depending on the emotion being experienced in the moment. The minerals in the tears can be collected and pressed into beautiful gemstones. Hyunjin had taken an interest in the different kinds of gems and had tasked himself to learn all he could about them from the store owner of Stardust Jewelers.
Genre/Warnings: Angst, fluff, seemingly (?) unrequited love, hurt/comfort, swearing (i use shit like once), skz side character/s (Minho, Chan), non-idol!AU
Words: 4.8k
Requested: No
A/N: i hope y’all like this one !! i liked the concept of ‘star tears’ and wanted to do something a bit different with it and badabing badaboom here is my attempt at stepping out of my comfort zone :-D do i understand how gems are made ?? not at all, but i wrote it in anyways so who cares lmao
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It was quite beautiful the first time you saw your mom cry. She argued with your dad in the kitchen for what felt like ages until she fell to her knees and broke down in tears. Oh how her tears sparkled. The sobs wracked through her body; but her tears, they jingled hypnotically. From the young age of 4 you’d hoped that you too would one day be able to cry such beautiful tears like her when you were older. You never really understood how much it hurt to produce such beauty.
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“I promise you, the gems we sell at this store are made of 100% genuine solaris minerals,” you spoke to the customers, as you carefully removed the necklace from the display case. “As you can see, the necklace is a gold singapore chain paired with a blue solaris gem. It also comes with a pair of teardrop earrings if you decided to take the whole set.” The couple inspected the necklace, feeling the quality of the chain and holding it up to their necks. It took the two women a while to pick a necklace, but after scouring the whole shop, they decided on the one they were currently debating.
“Did you say it comes with a certificate of authenticity?” The first woman asked, holding up the necklace delicately in her palm.
You nodded in affirmation and went to grab the papers from underneath the counter. “Not only does it come with a certificate, but almost all of our products come with a story of their origin,” you placed the necklace’s folder onto the counter and slid it over to them, “these gems came from a man named Minho. He had fallen in love with a work colleague who he would spend every single working hour with. What the poor guy didn’t know was that she was already with someone. The tears used for this set specifically were cried on the night of the girl’s wedding.”
The customers sighed in sympathy from the story. It was sad to know what pain this man went through. He came in quite a few times, his first tears producing light blue gems. Each time he came in, the gems would become a deeper shade of blue as his emotions became heavier. The very last time he came in, his tears produced royal blue solaris gems.
Minho yielded 5 different sets of jewelry.
“We’ll take the whole set.”
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The next day was slow. You were able to make two small sales but other than that, there didn’t seem to be any sign of more customers. As you tried to busy yourself by wiping down the already clean display cases, the entrance bell rang, signalling a customer. You looked through the glass from your crouched position behind the counter to see a young man walk in. He stepped around the store hesitantly and his eyes scanned the jewels as he moved. You stood up from your place and greeted him, “good afternoon, welcome to Stardust Jewelers; the place where we turn tears into treasures. How can I help you today?” He jumped slightly at your voice and his expression warped into one of surprise. 
“Oh uh, sorry. I’m just here to look around,” he spoke quickly and turned around towards the shelves closer to the entrance. His shifty attitude didn’t sit right with you so you walked nearer to where he stood. The cases were secured with a key that was only handled by staff but you knew some people were able to get really creative with their shoplifting. 
You followed his gaze to the various bracelets but you were sure he wasn’t interested in those. He seemed to lick his lips nervously as his eyes flicked to you and back to the jewelry. You took in his appearance; his blonde hair was quite long, passing his chin, and his side profile was quite defined. You studied his features quite quickly until you noticed the earrings he wore. 
Simple studs.
The gems looked to be diamond but after working at the store for almost your whole life you could tell from the way they sparkled in the light, to the way the metal was designed, those were solaris gems. As you moved closer, the guy stepped away from you.
“Listen man,” you started, “I can tell those studs you’re wearing are solaris gems and judging from the craftsmanship, they were made in this store. I don’t know if you stole those and you’re coming back for seconds-”
“Woah woah woah, I didn’t steal anything from here. I was gifted these,” he held his hands up in surrender before quickly adding, “from a friend.
A quick pause happened before he hesitantly spoke up again,
“I’m Hyunjin
 Hwang Hyunjin,” You raised a brow at him and he held his hand out for you to shake. You reciprocated his handshake and also introduced yourself.
“(Y/n). I’m a co-owner of this store.”
He smiled kindly at you and went back to looking at the bracelets. A silence fell over the both of you and you turned to look at the clock hung behind the counter.
’12 minutes until close. There’s no way I’m going to make this sale.’
“Um, sorry I know the store is closing soon but I just want to ask, can I hear the story of that bracelet over there?” Hyunjin pointed to a bracelet with small green solaris gems held together with a gold chain.
“Hmm,” you paused to think, “those were made from the tears of a young woman; tears of envy they were. Her best friend had ended up dating the guy she’d been crushing on. She cried to me, telling me how sad she was about losing the guy of her dreams, but I’m 100% sure she was more envious of their relationship,” You looked up to see Hyunjin listening attentively. 
“Green for envy, huh? I guess that one seems pretty obvious.”
You nodded and looked back at the time. 
“It seems I’m going to have to pack up shop. Thank you for stopping by and feel free to come by tomorrow.” You held the door open for him and he walked out with a quick goodbye and a quiet ‘nice meeting you.’
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Your newest client wasn’t here to buy jewelry; instead, the man who went by ‘Christopher’ sat in the back room. He entered the store donning sunglasses and you knew immediately why he was here. The client walked up to the counter with his head down and you moved to serve him.
“Good morning, welcome to Stardust Jewelers; the place where we turn tears into treasures. How can I help you today?” The guy cleared his throat once and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. You slowly reached your hand out to reassuringly pat his shoulder before grabbing a small jar from beneath the counter. You asked his name and scribbled it on the jar in sharpie.
“Follow me.”
You walked to the back room and motioned for him to sit on the couch. You then passed him the jar and went to leave the room. “The room is soundproof so don’t be afraid to let it out.” 
You then left to go back to your post behind the counter, readying the paperwork for his tears. As you sorted through a new folder, the entrance bell rang. 
“Good morning, welcome to Stardust Jewelers; the place where we turn tears into– Oh, you’re back?” The same guy from yesterday walked in with a sheepish smile on his face. 
“Yeah
 You did say to come by tomorrow. I’m just really curious about the store.” 
He came up to the counter and looked at the blank forms you were sorting through. You could tell he was curious as to what was on them so you turned the papers to face him. 
“We prepare them each time we have a new client–” you motioned towards the back room with your head– “so we can gather the information and signatures we need for the certificate of authenticity and the jewelry’s backstory.” Hyunjin nodded along to the explanation. He was quite a curious person, asking questions wherever possible and listening attentively to your responses.
“So do crying these gems hurt?” Hyunjin asked.
“Not that I know of. I’m pretty sure the minerals that produce the gems are too small to cause too much damage. I have heard cases where people go colour blind from crying too many star tears though. Some people can even lose memories. My mother told me it’s to protect the heart from further heartbreak.”
At that moment, Christopher walked out; sunglasses on and jar in hand. The contents sparkled a beautiful golden topaz and your heart skipped a beat. You could barely hold back the smile on your face as you took the paperwork back from Hyunjin. 
“Sorry Hyunjin, I’m going to need a bit of privacy between the client and myself. Feel free to look around the store.” Hyunjin smiled and instead waved a goodbye, mouthing ‘see you tomorrow’ before walking out the door.
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“Do you enjoy working here?” Hyunjin asked whilst chewing on the straw of his empty iced coffee. 
“Of course I do. Does it not seem like it?” You pulled out different necklaces from the display to switch around the store’s look.
“Well judging from the way you smiled at the miserable customer yesterday, I’d say you enjoy this job too much.” He raised a brow at you and you laughed at his statement.
“Trust me, I feel like every sad client that comes in to sell their tears weighs on my soul heavily; but every once in a while, you get a client who can cry tears that produce these rare gems,” you turned to pick up a pair of earrings from the shelf behind you and carefully handed them to Hyunjin. He placed his cup onto the counter and held them, inspecting the golden-yellow gems.
“What kind of tears can produce this sort of gem?”
A small smile made its way onto your face as you thought about the woman who produced the earrings.
“Tears of happiness. You see, solaris gems can only be produced from the minerals in star tears, tears that are cried during unrequited love. If the person you love doesn’t love you back, but you’re still able to be happy for them, I just think that’s a sort of purity that needs to be preserved.”
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Another new day rolled by and Hyunjin had once again made his way back to your store.
“So what’s the story behind the ring?” Hyunjin motioned to the one held gently in your palm, freshly unpackaged from the warehouse. The clean gem was pure like diamond and had no pigment to it. “These ones are quite the mystery. They look almost like normal tears from how they are cried without pigment but instead they sparkle beautifully, just as all other star tears do. These clear gems are made from tears of the unaware. Sometimes people will cry and produce star tears without knowing that they were ever in love in the first place so they usually don’t come with a story.” The idea of those gems made you sad and you quickly put it away on the shelf.
“Does the same go for my earrings?” He asked, motioning to the studs he always wore. 
“I guess so. Did you not get the information folder when you bought those?”
He shook his head and knocked on yours lightly with his hand, bringing himself to your level, “I got these as a gift, remember?”
“Ahh right. Well maybe your friend should’ve given you the info folder. How are you supposed to know if they’re real or not,” you huffed.
“Easy. I’ve got you to verify them for me.”
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It had been a few weeks since Hyunjin started popping into the store and making conversation.
Hyunjin stood behind you toying with the necklace around your neck while you sat at the counter filling out paperwork for the batch of tears that needed to be sent out that afternoon. He watched over your shoulder as you sorted through all the information and vials diligently ensuring everything was correct. He couldn’t help but admire how particular and concise you were with your work.
What he couldn’t tell was how flustered you were in the moment. The close proximity between the two of you made your heart race and every time his fingers would absentmindedly brush against the nape of your neck you would try your hardest to hide the shivers that ran up through your spine. 
You put down your pen and replaced his hand on the clasp of your necklace, removing it and turning to dangle it before him. “Here, play with this while I do my work,” you told him, waiting for the guy to take hold of it. 
Hyunjin held his palm out and you placed the jewelry into his grasp. He knew it was important to you with the way you would fidget with the pendant out of habit, move the clasp back to its place behind your neck when displaced and even just because of the fact he never saw you without it until now. Although he knew the jewel held significance to you, it was a mystery as to why. He’d always wanted to know the story behind it but never knew how to bring it up.
The large, emerald cut gem was a deep shade of red, mounted to a golden pendant and looped onto a thin, simple, gold box chain. “Red for anger is it?” Hyunjin started, his eyes shifting from the necklace to the owner.
You looked back at him, catching his eyes quickly before turning back to your work.
“Uh, yeah. Red for anger,” your voice was tentative, knowing what he really wanted to know. After a moment of hesitation, you continued to speak, “It’s from my mom, you know, the ‘big boss’. That is her first ever gem she made
 out of her own tears.” You put your pen down and spun around on the stool you were sitting on to face Hyunjin.
He faced you, eyes unsure where to look. After a second of inner conflict he decided looking into yours was the best place to direct his gaze. He could read a variation of emotions; confusion, anxiousness, rage and guilt but the most prevalent one he could see was pain.
“They were the tears she cried when my dad told her he was leaving us. It happened so long ago but sometimes it still gets to me,” you let out a shaky breath and forced a smile, “I guess I should be thankful. That moment was basically the catalyst for this whole business my mom started. She said she wanted to make something beautiful and worthwhile out of painful and vulnerable moments, just to remind people that there’s always a shining light at the end of a dark tunnel.”
Suddenly, you were gently pulled into Hyunjin’s embrace, an arm around your shoulders and the other pulling your head to his shoulder. It wasn’t until then you realised you were crying. Quiet sobs escaped your body and you wrapped your arms around his waist looking for comfort.
Hyunjin stayed silent and stroked your hair in reassurance.
No words needed to be spoken. All that mattered was that Hyunjin was there in the moment, allowing you to let it all out.
And you did, crying tears that sparkled orange.
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It became a routine that Hyunjin would come and visit a few times a week. He came in so often he’d somehow weaseled his way into having his own spot behind the counter. A customer walked in and you greeted them with Hyunjin chorusing along. 
“Good morning, welcome to Stardust Jewelers; the place where we turn tears into treasures. How can I help you today?”
The girl came up to the counter and flashed a beautiful smile. “Hi, I’m here looking for something specific. Have you got any jewelry from someone named Minho?” You assumed she was friends with the couple from a few weeks prior so you nodded and brought her over to where the last of Minho’s jewelry was kept. The first ever set he was able to produce was all that was left and it was a mere ring. The gem on the thin band was a small light blue jewel. 
“Would you like to hear the story behind it?” you offered.
“Don’t worry, she knows it already,” a familiar voice cut in. Without you noticing, Minho had entered the shop. 
“No. Way. Minho, I haven’t seen you in ages! What’s it been? 3? 4 years?” You walked out from behind the counter and hugged him. He chuckled and hugged you back, “4 years and 7 months if we’re being precise.”
Minho walked over to the woman and gently pulled her over, holding her hand. “I want you to meet my girlfriend. We’ve been dating for a couple of years now.”
Minho pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and turned back to you. “We’re here to see what’s left of my gems.” His girlfriend pulled him over to where the ring was while you made your way to the back room. For each client that came to sell their tears, you decided to keep gems for them, just in case they ever came back --a situation you thought would never happen-- and for the first time, someone did.
You found Minho’s section, pulled out a small box and brought it out to the couple. Somehow, Hyunjin had gotten the key and opened the display to show them the ring in the display case.
“Since when did you hire new staff? I thought this was a family business?” Minho asked.
“I didn’t. This guy just has nothing better to do.”
Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and tossed the keys back to you.
You placed the box down in front of them and pulled out 5 small jewelry boxes, each dated with when the tears were collected. You opened them to reveal the gems within, creating a beautiful gradient of blues as the dates became more recent. 
“These are all gems created from Minho’s star tears. I save gems for each client that comes in, just in case they come back one day. I’ve left them completely untampered with so that you can choose what sort of jewelry you want to make them into.”
The two teared up looking at the jewels and you could feel the warmth radiating from the two of them. 
“How much for them?” Minho asked and you shook your head. 
“They’re free. There’s no way I’d make someone pay for their own tears,” you scoffed jokingly and closed the boxes to be packaged. You looked for the info folders until you realised you must’ve left them in the back room in your excitement. As you turned to go collect them, They suddenly appeared in front of you.
“Oh, thank you Hyunjin. I swear you know your way around here too well, I’m going to have to start restricting store access to you,” you joked.
“Hyunjin?” Minho’s voice travelled over the counter and you looked over at Minho’s confused face.
“Do you guys know each other?” You questioned.
Hyunjin shook his head, seeming just as confused.
Minho continued, “Is this the Hyunjin that you cried star tears over?”
From there, Hyunjin’s eyes widened in shock. He looked at you but you didn’t know what Minho was talking about.
“What do you mean? I’ve never known any other Hyunjin, and I met him a couple months ago.”
“No, the third time I came in, you told me you started crying star tears but you didn’t know why and by the fourth time I came around, you told me you realised it was for your friend Hyunjin.” Minho was sure of it, it was the most vulnerable he’d ever seen you. You would comfort him everytime he came by, but once, and only once, he ended up being the one to comfort you.
You could only shake your head at Minho. “I’ve never cried star tears in my life. I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” You looked back at Hyunjin and then at the gems. “Now back to the topic at hand–” you pulled forms from below the counter– “how would you like these gems styled?”
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You hadn’t spoken a word to Hyunjin since Minho left. There was this uncomfortable tension in the air that just wouldn't dissipate no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. Hyunjin knew it was there, and he knew it had to be him to make the first move, but the glass counter had this spot that just wouldn't disappear no matter how hard he scrubbed.
He watched as you counted the day’s earnings intently, eyes not daring to look away from the notes and coins in front of you. There was a voice inside of him that screamed at him to go up to you and explain everything but there was also a feeling of shame that held him back. He was so ashamed of deceiving you and that alone was eating away at him.
When Hyunjin halted his attempts at scrubbing away the nonexistent spot on the glass and turned to face you, you had already made your way to the back room to put away the money. 
He argued with himself, ’maybe I should run for it while they aren’t here. Or maybe I should follow them and fess up’, but the internal monologue had only caused him even more distress.
You on the other hand had decided to completely forget that encounter with Minho, maybe you could forget that the day had ever happened, or even better, maybe you could forget that Hyunjin had ever decided to come into your store. It wasn’t hard to piece everything together, you were smart.
The door creaked behind you, signalling Hyunjin’s entry into the back room with you. He placed the window cleaner and rag back into their rightful place on the shelf while he waited for you to lock up the safe, hidden on the floor in the back of the room, just like routine. When you got up and looked at him, he stood there with a look on his face that told you he was trying to find the words to say.
His mind blanked as you strode towards him, there was no sign of what you were feeling in the moment. As you arrived at the spot right in front of the man, you reached your hand up to gently grasp his chin and move his head to the side.
There, in the shitty back room lighting, shined the clear and clean cut solaris gems. The memory of a forgotten feeling had welled up in your chest, as if you were feeling just a tinge of the heartbreak you once experienced. 
“Do you want them back?” Hyunjin’s voice broke the silence.
You shook your head and let go of his chin, walking past him to finally lock up and leave. 
“Keep them, they look good on you.” 
And those were the last words you spoke to him before he followed you out and you locked up.
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It had been a few months after that incident. You were able to forget the whole scenario ever happened --assuming that ignoring the situation was synonymous with forgetting-- and kept conducting business as usual. Hyunjin had barely crossed your mind since you last saw him that night and you were thankful. The whole thing had completely left your system
 until now.
The store bell rang and you looked up to greet the customer, words getting caught in your throat. 
His hair was no longer blonde but a deep brown, almost black. It had also grown to touch just past his shoulders. As you locked eyes, a soft smile made its way onto his face as he approached you.
After all this time, Hyunjin was the same.
“No ’welcome to Stardust Jewelers’ for your best customer?” He attempted to joke.
“Well you never actually bought anything.” Your voice was flat, an attempt at hiding what you really felt. The same pain you had tried to forget was bubbling back up in your chest and Hyunjin could see it through your facade. Whilst giving you time to collect yourself, Hyunjin inspected you further. You were the same as he remembered. The same as back when you went to school together, the same as when he met you again at your store after years away at college, just... the same. You were the same in the way your presence comforted him and raised his mood, but he knew you held different feelings towards him.
And then something caught his attention.
Ruby red emerald cut earrings. 
They matched the pendant around your neck and Hyunjin was filled with the same regret.
“Hyunjin, I’ll be honest, I’m not really comfortable with you coming back here. I don’t think we can just ‘hang’ like we used to.”
A sadness washed over him as he shook his head and chuckled bitterly. 
“I know. I’m actually just here as a client. That is, if you’ll have me?”
There was a second of hesitance before you reached under the counter to grab a jar, scribbling his name onto it, and handing it over to him. You motioned towards the back room and allowed him to make his own way there, closing the door behind him. 
Filling out his papers occupied you while you continued to try and pull yourself together. You understood why you had forgotten Hyunjin the first time, the way your mind tried to protect your heart with the star tears you cried. The pain you felt around Hyunjin stung. It made your chest hurt and your mind muddled. Most significantly, it made your eyes burn. The tears you attempted to hold back eventually fell freely, falling onto the paper and staining it with small, orange splatters.
A hand reached out to wipe them away and it was only then you realised that Hyunjin had made his way back.
You stepped back away from him and scrambled to wipe your tears with your sleeve. Hyunjin looked down at the paper, the deep orange tinge seeping into the print. It brought him back to the day he comforted you as you cried into his sweater. He went home that day with the same shiny orange stain on his shirt.
“What do orange tears signify?”
As you wiped away your ever falling tears, your voice came out low and strangled.
“Abandonment.”
Hyunjin couldn’t bear the idea of being the cause of your pain. Not only once or twice, but three times. He wanted to jump the counter and hug you, comfort you just as he had before and apologise until his voice grew weak, but instead he reached into his pocket and produced the small jar with his name on it.
The clink of the jar on the glass counter caught your attention and you inspected the contents from where you stood. A brilliant shade of indigo sparkled within the jar.
“Tears of regret,” you mumbled, “what are you feeling regretful about Hyunjin?”
He breathed out a hopeless laugh and walked around the counter and towards you. As you looked up at his face you could see the same purple tears, sparkling as they ran down his cheeks.
“Everything.”
It was then that you embraced him. His head had fallen to your shoulder and he wept, repeating a string of apologies to you.
Sorry for leaving you.
Sorry for deceiving you.
Sorry for never telling you how he truly felt.
Sorry.
You shushed him gently and rubbed his back reassuringly. That was enough. His apology was enough for you and you didn’t need to hear anymore. 
Neither of you knew how long you stood there crying, basking in the embrace and comfort of each other, but as the sobs died down and your arms grew weaker, your hearts only grew fuller. The feelings you two had for each other were different from before. Not quite love but it could be one day. And today was a step towards repairing those past emotions.
You pulled away and held Hyunjins shoulders at arms length as you studied his face. His eyes were swollen and pink, his lips quivered, daring to let out another sob. You could only imagine how you looked.
“I’m glad you came back,” your voice hoarse from crying. 
“I’m glad to see you again.”
After looking into his eyes a few moments more, you turned towards the papers on the counter. 
“I guess we should commemorate this moment with some purple solari gems, no?”
Hyunjin could only let out a hearty laugh, picking up a pen to help with the papers.
Despite the drama happening just a moment ago, having Hyunjin back at the store felt normal. Everything felt just the same and thankfully, it could only go up from here.
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rkrispyt · 4 years ago
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Let me just get up on my soapbox for a second...
*ahem* Some advice for Portwell fans that no one asked for from a little old lady fangirl: do not engage with those seeking to drag you down to their level.
Let me first disclaim that this is me pausing in my morning routine to vent, so I apologize if this feels a bit all over the place or my thoughts aren't as organized as they could be. That being said...
I see fans of a certain ship (that has decided it automatically makes one anti-Portwell but I digress) desperately trying to engage Portwell shippers and I beg of you, for your own self-respect and sanity, pay them no mind.
It is so disheartening to now see on both Tumblr and Twitter some Portwell fans who are sinking to their level.
My old ass has been sucked into fangirling so many things over the years and one thing I wish I'd realized long before I did was that it's nearly impossible to change someone's mind on this kinda stuff. And also that it's not worth it (or, tbh, even fair) to attempt to.
The point of all this is that it's something you enjoy. Why let someone in who's only trying to turn it into something negative and insult it?
I cannot recommend enough that you live and let live/ship and let ship/stan and let stan. It is such a better use of your precious time and energy to focus on what you enjoy, rather than defending it to someone who is entitled to prefer something different and honestly is never going to come around because that's not how preferences work.
You don't owe anyone an explanation. You don't need to convert anyone or make them see what you see. You absolutely don't owe it to them to show up to a 'debate' that no one asked for. Especially not when they post repeatedly "sign up, we don't bite, it's going to be a safe space" and posts during/after indicate it the work was not done to keep it a safe space, on either side. No ma'am.
Let them all stew in their efforts to get our attention and validation of relevance. If they wanna believe their ship is superior, let them, who cares? I'm not wasting any of my time explaining to them why I switched from their ship to Portwell, I'd rather just enjoy Portwell while we're getting it.
As with any story being told, we never know what it will eventually bring. For now though, they are giving us an abundance of Portwell goodness. That can’t last forever. I don't want to miss a moment of experiencing that and celebrating it with all of you by giving certain shippers any of my attention. Cause who knows what the next few episodes or season(s) could bring. Everything could change and then look at what I'd have missed.
As someone who was a Glee ‘fan’ (iykyk) as it aired, I will never forget (or honestly forgive) the 'Samchel' shippers who were so upset that the ship I loved was getting some screentime and attention that they were determined to ruin it for us. We spent more time fighting them than enjoying all the wonderful things the show was giving us, and then it all went away out of nowhere and didn’t come back like we were so sure it would in the end. I took it for granted. I will not make that mistake ever again.
I don't owe them any of my time or attention to answer their demands to explain myself or consider their ship.
And maybe it's petty but nothing would make me happier than seeing a bunch of tweets or posts from them trying to engage us that are all completely ignored by us while we just gush over what we love about what we're currently getting.
So I'm just gonna be over here on my Portwell bullshit, if anyone wants to join me.
Also tumblrsaviour is your friend to avoid the nonsense posts.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
...um, can someone help my old ass down from this soapbox please?
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